#last one speaks to me on a personal level ngl
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come back home — mason mount
A/N: really sad to hear about the new injury so maybe this can distract u guys a bit. im ngl, this one is pretty personal to me so please take care of it. tbh this is a special fic for mi amore elisa, and i hope it matches her expectations. this story wouldn’t exist without you bestie 🫶🏻
word count: 8.5k | masterlist
content: reader has mommy issues, dad!mason, angsty and fluffy end
When your mum called, you didn’t think twice.
She asked you to spend a week with her, and you accepted straight away, incapable of believing that your brother left her alone without warning you.
To be fair, you know you’re not on speaking terms with him, but it's your mother. How could he let her alone?
When you told Mason, you could see the insecurity on his face. Since you gave birth to your baby boy, you had never ever left the house without him, and leaving Manchester to go back to your mum’s in London was a big thing, but eventually he sighed and nodded.
“Just make sure you call me everyday” he kissed your forehead before kissing Leo. Just a week, you told him. In a week you would be back to your husband.
You met Mason at the Champions League final im the 20/21 season, and you like to say it was love at first sigh, the way your relationship instantly clicked is still surprising. You dated for a year before he asked you to be his wife, and you thinks you would’ve said yes another million times.
You’ve been together through the good enough season of 21/22, and all the shit of 22/23. You got pregnant in the middle of his last season for Chelsea, and Luke was born already in Manchester, in October.
Since Mason’s injury in November he’s been able to participate more, spending lots of time with his son as he doesn’t need to go to away games, and you know that this week away will make both of them sad.
You tried to tell yourself that since Mason is back at the regular training and ready to be back on the pitch, they would spend less time together anyway. It didn’t make the decision any easier.
When you packed for a week and got into the car, your husband helped to put Luke in the baby seat before kissing you lovely.
“Call me every night. Don’t let her be alone with Luke, please? And come back soon” he whispered against your lips, stroking your chin. “I love you”
“I love you” you kissed him, before reluctantly driving away from your husband.
Sundays are usually already sad and gray, but Mason is sure his just hit another level of depression.
—
It was already night when you got to your mum’s house, not talking much to her before settling on Matt’s old room and texting Mason.
You instantly found out that it would be a difficult week: it was the first time you were away from Mason since you gave birth, and the first time Luke had to sleep away from daddy.
The thing is that he couldn’t. You couldn’t put your baby to sleep, not even if your life depended on it. Luke kept loudly crying, tossing and squirming in your arms.
You tried your best to calm him, thinking it could have something bothering him like his current clothes or the weather difference, but not even breastfeeding calmed him down.
Mason tried to help you every time he FaceTimed you, and it was when Luke seemed to feel better but never lasted long.
You were feeling exhausted the whole week, but that didn’t stop your mother from asking you everything she could, like you were still fifteen years old with the responsibility of helping her to clean a house isn’t yours anymore.
Plus, she seemed incredibly bothered about Luke and the fact he wasn’t feeling well, dropping comments about him. You tried your best to ignore, because you know your mother isn’t the easiest person to live with, and since you were leaving soon you didn’t want to fight.
Wednesday night you were missing Mason like crazy, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped with him under the covers, and your heart twisted when his face showed up on your screen.
“Hi baby” Mason murmured, already tucked in bed and making your heart ache with the need of being there and snuggling with him.
“Hi Mase. How are you?”
“Training was fine, and I’m getting closer to come back” he smiled, and you instantly matched his expression.
“I can’t wait to watch you again, love”
You think that is adorable how Mason’s cheeks still got red when you show him affection.
“And how’s your week going?”
“It could’ve been better if I was with you. I miss you” you sighed. “But the week is almost over and I’ll be home soon”
“Good” he yawned, getting more comfortable. . “Show me my little man”
Luke was still wide awake and paying attention to what you were saying, and you showed Mason to him.
“Hi buddy, you’re being a good boy, yeah? Be good to mumma, please. I miss you”
When Luke babbled to him, Mason giggled before wishing you a good night and telling you he loved you.
—
When Saturday came your mother talked to you, saying Matt had some problem and he wouldn’t be back for another week, begging you to stay a little while. The hardest part was telling Mason about it.
“She needs me to stay for one more week, Masey” you murmured, feeling guilty. When Mason didn’t answer you tried again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be home next Sunday”
“It’s okay. I was just hoping you’d be here for Liverpool’s game tomorrow, I think I’ll be subbed on. But it’s okay, you can travel to Brentford's game with Luke” he assured you. “I wish I could go see you during the international break, but they want me to stay in rehab”
“I’m really sorry baby, I tried to contact my brother but he’s being petty” you sighed.
“I understand, princess. I just miss you” he told you gently. “How’s my buddy going?”
“He’s good, he’s just so irritated lately, I think it’s his tooth” you sighed again, feeling tired. “He misses you”
“Poor bubba” Mason pouted, making you smile. “Give him a kiss yeah?”
“Sure” you smiled. “We’ll be back at the end of the week. I love you”
When the week unfolded, you weren’t sure about your decision anymore.
You choose to stay with your mother for one more week over living your husband’s comeback, and in gratitude she spent this time talking bad things about you.
It started with innocent comments. How she would never buy the clothes you were wearing. How you were raising a clingy kid by never letting him sleep alone. How you should breastfeed him less or your boobs would get flaccid.
You tried to shrug it off, like you did when you were younger. You used to believe that your mother was always right and that she was always the mature one, but you’re not so sure anymore.
During the second week you kept calling Mason every night, sharing about your day and showing him to Luke, who would try to grab the phone and put dads on his month. When, without a question if you could or wanted, the second week turned into a third, you could feel Mason losing his patience.
“It’s okay, you can still go to Brentford’s game this Saturday” he repeated, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself instead. “You can bring Luke, Brentford is friendly. How is he doing?”
“He had a fever but he’s fine now” you showed Luke sleeping next to you, his face a little red.
“Let me know if something changes” Mason asked you, and his concerned look just proved you chose the right dad for your son.
You nodded to his image on the small screen, his adorable face almost hidden by the sheets, the bed looking incredibly big.
“Can we sleep on call?” you asked, missing him so much it was physically hurting you. Mason’s face softened and he nodded.
Some people might think that you could just go back home. If you really miss him you would do it, right?
But you know Mason understands your relationship with your mother, how you feel you owe her everything. She raised you, gave you everything you needed.
She was rough sometimes, yes. And there were days you didn’t feel loved at all, but she was still your mum, even when she couldn’t tell you she was proud, even when she couldn’t hug you during storms.
Even when she couldn’t believe you would be someone successful one day.
So you kept there, living your days boringly, washing the dishes and the clothes, playing with Luke, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner. For her, so she would be happy and proud.
And you were losing your mind.
—
When Brentford's game came, you weren’t able to go. You apologised to him the day before, spending hours on the phone, and even though you could see the sad look in his eyes Mason was still comprehensive.
“She needs me to accompany her to the exam” you told him, and Mason himself could see you weren’t funny about your current situation; you just weren’t brave enough to hurt your mother the way she hurts you and leave.
You were able to watch the game when you came back from your mother’s exam and it wasn’t a surprise to you when Mason changed the whole game by being subbed on.
Luke was already sleeping, so you tried your best not to scream when your husband scored, tearing up to see he dedicated the goal to you by pointing to his ring finger.
You were able to talk with him only for a few minutes before he desperately needed to sleep, whispering that you was proud of him and the way his voice cracked when he told you he loved you made your heart hurt.
Following the week, you weren’t able to talk much with him. Only quick calls at night before he dozed off still holding his phone, feeling much more tired now that he’s back at attending games even though he doesn’t play the full match.
Your Wednesday started with Luke’s little sobs waking you up, and you were sure he wasn’t feeling well again. After breastfeeding and showering with him, you managed to get you both changed and ready to start the day.
When you got downstairs your mother was already in the kitchen, and you could hear her complaining that you were late.
“For what?” you surprised her, and despite being early in the morning she seemed grumpy already.
“For breakfast, what more could it be? I had to cook it myself” she snorted, and you took a deep breath before
“If you’re capable of it, I don’t see what’s wrong” you shrugged.
The truth is that you’re starting to wonder what he hell you’re doing there and why Matt hasn’t come back. What should be a week turned into a month and you was living her life instead of yours.
When you sat at the table for breakfast, after managing to cook your own meal with Luke in one of your arms, you had to take a deep breath as soon as she started to talk.
You’ve heard in silence when she talked about you and Luke, but never makes you more furious like when your mother decides to talk about Mason.
“He could spend more time in the gym” she told you, suddenly. “Your husband”
You were only capable of frowning at her, not understanding why she would brought this out of nowhere.
“What do you mean?”
“He could train more. Maybe some more muscles would make him prettier and better at football” she shrugged, making you laugh in disbelief.
“He’s already pretty and good at football”
“I don’t know, Y/N. I feel like he’s not the right man to you, and I want the best to my little girl”
Mason is the most caring and gentle man you’ve ever known, and you knew you couldn’t sit there and hear her talking shit about him day after day.
“Mum, you can’t be serious. He’s my husband. Not only this, but he’s Luke’s father. Don’t talk about him like that”
“Are you sure he doesn’t cheat on you?” she innocently asked, making you choke on your coffee.
“Mum!” you gasped, not believing what she was saying.
Luke’s eyes widened and you tried to recompose yourself so he wouldn’t cry out of fear
“I mean, he could have anyone… everyone. A skinny and tanned woman, with pretty features…”
There it was. The reason why you grew up so insecure, something that would annoy lots of men — but not Mason. Not your boy, who would reassure you every time and make you really believe that you’re pretty and loved.
Her words still stung though, but you shrugged them off.
“Mason loves me” was everything you told her before leaving the table with Luke.
You went out for a walk with your baby, trying to make the day pass faster and see if he’d feel better after some fresh air. When it started to get dark, you came back home and gave Luke a shower, laying in bed with him.
Later that night Mason called you like he always does, and you were happy to see his name shining on your screen.
“Hi baby” you whispered, but to your surprise he didn’t greet you back.
“How’s Luke?” Mason murmured, and you could sense the tiredness and loneliness in his voice. “Don’t you think you should bring him back home so we can get him to our doctor?”
“Yeah, that’s what I want to do. But I can’t leave my mum alone and Matt won’t answer the phone-”
But Mason had enough, and suddenly he lost his patience.
“And why, exactly, can’t you leave her alone, Y/N? Enlighten me, please. From what I can remember, she can do everything perfectly. She’s not sick, she’s not weak. She’s just using you”
Mason never liked your mother, much due to how she treats you, and you understand. It just hurts that you have so many good things to talk about his mother whilst yours is always giving him reasons to hate her.
“Mason… she’s my mother. Can we not talk about her like that?” you murmured, but you know he’s right.
On the other side, Mason did his best to not scream at you, something he swore he would never, even if it’s out of frustration.
“She’s your mother, yeah. And I’m your fucking husband. I know you never chose to have a narcissist as your mother, but you chose to marry me and I thought I would have an important spot in your life. I know family comes first but I thought that someday you’d start to prioritize the family you made”
You could feel how tired he was. How he needed you to understand his point.
“I’m trying, Mase” was the only thing you were capable of whispering.
“You say you are but you keep choosing her. You keep going when she calls even though you know she’s only going to hurt you. You keep choosing your mother over your husband and I don’t know if I can do this anymore”
“Mason…” your heart dropped. “Don’t say that”
“Do you have any idea of how much I miss my son? How much I’ve been missing my wife? It’s been a month, Y/N. And I feel like you’re not thinking about my feelings, at all”
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be just a week” you tried to defend yourself. “I don’t know what’s going on or why Matt isn’t back yet. It has been hard for me too, yeah? I miss you so much and I’m sorry”
“Well I think you should set your priorities” he murmured before turning the call off on your face.
You instantly felt the tears forming. He hasn’t said it was over, but it was obviously a warning that it wasn’t over just yet.
With a sick Luke in one of your arms, you started to clean the room you had been staying in. Cleaning always helps you, and you let your cry reach out to you during the process, feeling overwhelmed and tired.
You wanted your home and your husband, but as a daughter you feel like you need to take care of your mother. Like you’re supposed to give her everything she’s been giving you your whole life.
After tidying the room you went downstairs to prepare the dinner, and whilst you mixed the sauce something snapped. What were you doing there?
You should be cooking for Mason, so he would have a proper meal after his nap. Luke should be sitting in his baby chair whilst you were humming happy songs. Not there, where your mother can cook her own dinner and clean her own house.
It wasn’t your fault that she couldn’t understand that you have your own family now.
When you set the table for dinner your mother wasn't home yet, and you ate with Luke’s little screams, trying to smile at him. She finally arrived an hour later, and whilst she entered the house you decided that you had enough.
“I’m leaving tomorrow morning” you told her whilst she closed the door. “Mason will face Chelsea and I need to be there. And Luke is sick, so I’m heading back home after the game to take him to his doctor in Manchester”
“What are you talking about? He looks fine”
“I’m his mother. I know when he’s not doing well” you snapped at her. “And don’t come to me saying you don’t wanna be alone. You’re not alone, are you? Because I spent the day here to be with you whilst you’re walking around the city or going to your friend’s house” you tried not to snap. “And getting drunk every Saturday even tho I tell you how much I hate it. We’re leaving tomorrow, whether you like it or not”
Not leaving her time to answer, you went upstairs to sleep a bit. When Luke finally slept you debated whether or not you should send a message to Mason letting him know you would go back home after the game.
Deciding not to disturb him any more and imagining that he was still upset with you, you laid with your son and tried to sleep, but the shooting thoughts wouldn’t let you.
What if Mason had enough? What if he doesn’t want you anymore, what if you are too late?
—
When you woke up, you took Luke in your arms and started to pack. Since you were supposed to stay only for a week you didn’t have much to organise, and soon you were ready to go.
Your plans were to drive to Stamford Bridge and see Mason after the game before heading to Manchester whilst he came back home with the team.
But as soon as you checked beneath the pillow and under the bed, you realised your phone wasn’t anywhere.
Taking Luke downstairs and looking everywhere you could, you tried to ask your mother.
“Have you seen my phone? It’s not where it should be”
“You should take care of your stuff, Y/N. I thought I taught you that your things are your responsibility” she told you with a flat look and you stared at her for a few seconds, in disbelief.
After hours of searching for it, you gave up. There was only an hour left before the game and since you only started to drive recently the idea of driving around without following the GPS terrified you, so you had to make a choice.
Plus, you were tired from searching for it and all you wanted was to eat something and watch the game with Luke.
Deciding to bath with your baby and cook dinner, you sat on the couch to see the game, your stomach churning with the need to be there.
A few minutes into the first half, your mother looked at you from up the stairs.
“I thought you were going back home today?” she teased you, making you frown.
You chose not to answer, paying attention to the game instead. When Mason was finally subbed on you pointed at him, bouncing Luke in your thigh.
“Look at dada, Luke. We’ll see dada soon”
“Dada” he babbled, making you gasp.
“Yeah, dada. It’s your dada” you poked his waist, the teas already forming. Luke couldn’t stop calling for dada once he said it for the first time, and he kept repeating it until the game was over.
You were incredibly sad by the result, knowing you should be at home when Mason gets there so you could hold him and scratch his scalp after his warm bath.
Deciding to sleep early, you waited for your mother to go to her bedroom and carefully brought your bags downstairs before laying with Luke and forcing yourself to sleep, determined to leave the next morning — even if you had to drive like the old ones, asking for instructions and following the signs.
On the other hand, Mason was desperate. He knew from the moment he turned the call off that he needed to apologise for how he talked to you.
But he was angry, stressed and frustrated. He wanted you there, supporting him. Cuddling him after his tiring games, listening to him when he needs to. He wants you there talking about your day, warming the bed, bringing Luke to him after a shower so you can change into your pyjamas.
He wants his family and he can’t cope with the fact they’re not with him.
Mason can’t believe you and Luke weren’t there watching his first goal, and scoring felt bittersweet. He wanted nothing more than to share this moment with you.
Since he met you, Mason knows how hard your mother is. Narcissist, dramatic, always trying to make you feel sorry for hurting her — when you were only setting boundaries.
And he also knows how hard had been for you, not finding the courage to break the circle and move on from her. But in all this time he never had to deal with this, you and his son so far away from him because of a woman who doesn’t even respect her own children.
When he went to bed a few hours after the call, Mason started to worry and he knows you were mad when you didn’t text him before bed, but at the same time he wanted to apologise for the way he talked he still meant everything he said, so he took a deep breath and choose to wait until the next day so he could talk to you properly.
His heart hurt knowing he was going to bed without telling you he loves you, something none of you ever did, but Mason was sure you’d figure it out after the game since you promised you would go, so he did his best to sleep and rest.
—
He looked everywhere. He asked everyone.
You just weren’t there.
When the game ended, Mason just wanted to bring you and his son and tell you he needed you home when he got there. He needed someone he could cry to, someone he could tell how overwhelming being back felt.
All he wanted was to survive the bus drive with all his teammates feeling sorry — for the loss and for him. And then lay in your arms so you could reassure him he’s doing well and that he makes you proud, whilst Luke’s little fingers tried to make him bald.
But they told him you weren’t in the United box and soon he found out you never entered the stadium Mason’s heart twisted.
First he felt a shameful feeling of anger. Why the fuck couldn’t you do this little thing for him? Relationships are supposed to be about making sacrifices and he watched you put yourself first for an entire month, always being understanding. The only thing he expected in return was for you to be there.
And you couldn’t? You say love him so much, but still couldn’t be there?
Then, when he finally showered and changed into some trainers before heading to the bus, Mason was able to check his phone just to see you hadn’t answered his pre-game messages, and quickly his anger turned into worry.
He called you five times, but every call went to voicemail. Mason pondered if you were ignoring him — or if something bad had happened.
Knowing you for four years, he doesn’t think you would give up on your relationship like that. But the way he hung up on you the night before, and how he accused you of not caring about him… he just can’t help but overthink.
With his heart pounding, Mason opened his Instagram app and searched for the only person who could help him, whilst he was forced to come back to Manchester when all he wanted to do was come to you.
—
The sound of the doorbell ringing woke you up, and you checked the hours just to see it was just past 2am. Luke instantly started to cry, and you took him in your arms before rushing downstairs and opening the door to the person you never thought you would see there.
“What are you doing here?” you frowned to your brother.
“Mason called me. Where’s that freak you call your mother?” he said harshly. “Why don’t you answer your phone? Your husband is losing his mind. He thinks something bad happened”
“I’ve been looking for my phone since yesterday morning, I don’t know, it’s vanished” you explained, following him. “Matt! What’s happening?”
“She’s been lying to you, Y/N. She’s probably hiding your phone right now. These are yours?” he pointed to the things you’ve packed, and you nodded. “I was never meant to come back. I told her I was leaving, cause I was tired of the manipulation. I was tired of her telling me my girlfriend doesn’t deserve me or telling me I owe everything I am to her. I owe her nothing”
You could feel the lump already forming in your throat, and you wanted nothing more than to call Mason. Matt silently put your bags in the front door, and soon his girlfriend got out of the car to take them.
“I realised something was wrong” you told him. “And Luke has been feeling sick so I packed, but then the morning I told her I’d go to the game and then head back home I couldn’t find my phone anymore. What Mason told you?”
“Not gonna lie to you, he’s feeling awful. I think he’s been crying, too. He told me you were supposed to go to the game tonight?” he asked, and you nodded, your heart dropping. “He said he tried to call you before and when you ignored him he thought you were still angry, but now that you didn’t show up at Stamford he thinks you either were kidnapped or decided to leave him. There’s only these bags?”
“Yeah” you quickly nodded. “She asked me to spend just a week”
“Compulsive liar” Matt snorted. “Let’s go, get in the car. I’ll take you to my home and we can go to yours in the morning”
You nodded again, but before you could obey him you mother showed up in the stairs.
“What’s going on here?” your mother’s voice made you jump as you were still two kids doing something she wouldn’t approve of.
“Please, don’t. Just go back to your room, I’m taking Y/N’s home”
“You can’t do that!” she raised her voice, trying to show a mother authority she doesn’t have over him anymore.
“What do you mean I can’t do that, you psycho? Leave us alone. You used me for years, I’m not letting you do the same with her”
“Don’t be stupid, Matthew. All I ever asked you was for you to take care of me like I took care of you your whole life. All I ever expected was you both to love me like I loved my childs” she gestured, and you could feel your heart hurting. She’s your mother and you should be so tough with her…
“Why can’t you understand that we have our own family now?” Matt snorted, his big body trying to hide you from your hysterical mother. “Y/N is a mother. She has a child to take care of, she can’t look after you when you’re capable of looking after yourself”
When you realised Luke was about to cry from all the noise, you started to rock him back and forth, trying to protect his ears.
“I am your family. All those years I left my life in standby to raise you. I gave you two food, a home, a warm bed to sleep” your mother shouted, gesturing.
“And as a mother this was exactly what the world expected from you. You did nothing but your obligations. No one asked you to be a mother, so you can’t point your fingers and act like we should be grateful for the simple things you gave us. The minimal” Matt kept his tone low. “But you lacked the essential. The respect for your kids. The love, acceptance. You only love yourself. Now you say we’re not returning everything you did for us but guess what: this is what you did for us. You reap what you sow. You can not raise a child thinking about what they can bring you in the future”
“Everything I’ve done, everything I say is because I care! But go on, make me the villain, take her thy stupid footballer” she turned to face you. “Go back to him and raise this stupid child. Just don’t come back running to mummy when he changes you for a prettier and hotter girl, leaving you with only his clone to remind you of what you’ve lost!”
It was unconscious, the way you left the safe space Matt had created for you and advanced in her direction. You never believed you were capable until it was done, the echo of your hand meeting her cheek spreading in the silent room.
“Talk about me as much as you want. But do never, ever again talk about my husband or my son. Is not our fucking fault dad couldn’t handle your behaviour anymore, and is not our fucking fault he left you for a prettier and hotter woman” you pointed a finger to her face. “I’m done with you. I’m done with you forever, and if cutting you from my life is what I need to do so I won’t be the wife and mother you were, then I’m doing it right now”
“C’mon, Y/N” Matt put a hand on your shoulder, slowly bringing you closer to him. “Let’s go home”
You checked Luke on your arms afraid your impulsive action had hurt him, whilst Matt took you outside.
“She still has my phone-” you realised before you could enter your car.
“Leave it behind, yeah? Mason can buy you a new one. Look at it as a new beginning” he squeezed your shoulders, and it felt like having a brother again.
In that moment you understood that this was what had happened to him, too. That this was the reason he never replied to you anymore.
When Matt left his mother’s house in an attempt to be free, he had to leave everything behind, including you.
You think you won’t ever really understand what it cost him to come back there, but he did it.
He could never leave his little sister behind.
—
You took Luke out from the baby seat before following Alice inside. She came back driving Matt’s car whilst he drove yours, so you hadn’t had the chance to talk to her.
Once inside, Matt put you in the biggest guest room of his house, trying his best to make you comfortable. You used the sheets and the pillows to make a fort around Luke, and went downstairs to talk to your brother after so long.
After making you all tea, Alice sat besides him and you genuinely smiled seeing how they clearly completed each other.
You started by explaining to them what she told you in the first place, and how she was trying to keep you there for more and more days every time another week ended. When you told about your fight with Mason, Matt was quick to reassure you that he knows Mase will understand you, but you were still feeling reckless and seeing your husband was the only thing you wanted.
“I tried to contact you” Matt told you shyly. “It’s been months since I left her house, maybe six?”
“Around Luke’s birth” you whispered.
“But I left my phone too. It was a choice I had to make. Since you don’t have an Instagram, I tried Mason’s but-”
“He’s too famous to see your message” you giggled.
“I think he unfollowed me when he thought we weren’t on speaking terms- when you thought we weren’t. He’s a good one, you know?”
“He is” you smiled, thinking about your boy.
“I’ll get the car ready for the trip” he murmured, suddenly looking awkward.
As soon as he left, Alice saw you were still processing your feelings and came to sit near you. After a few seconds in silence, she started to talk.
“You don’t have to love her just because she’s your mother” she told you, holding your hand. “Mothers aren’t saints, Y/N. It’s okay to dislike our mothers when they act bad, when they hurt you. It’s okay to even hate a mother that does no good to her kids”
“But she’s my blood” you told her the same you’ve always told your brother, but as a woman your age Alice understands your feelings and is delicate to answer you.
“That doesn’t mean anything. Do you see Debbie? Matt told me about her, and how much she cares about you. She’s your blood? No. But she’s been treating you better than your blood has” she ran hiii her fingers through your hair. “I know it’s hard to make this decision, but a mother that hurts and lies, a mother that tries to get in the middle of your marriage isn’t a good mother. Just think if you’d ever do to Luke any of the stuff she did to you”
When you looked up your brother was by the door, and you know he’s the only one who actually shares this controversial feeling with you.
“I wanna go home” you sniffed. “To Mason”
“We’ll take you there” Matt assured you, stretching his arms out to you. “But give me a hug first”
“I’m so sorry she got between us” you murmured after hugging him, resting your face on his shoulder.
“Me too. But see? We’re free now, princess. Your big brother is here”
—
When he opened the door for you early in the morning, Mason’s heart dropped. With Matt and his girlfriend waiting in the car, he was sure you were there to pick your stuff and leave.
“Mase?” you called him nervously, since he wouldn’t move or make any indication of hugging you.
“Are you leaving? I- I didn��t mean it you know, I didn’t mean to be rude with you I was just so tired and angry and I came home after training and you weren’t here and I got so pissed off” his voice was shaky and he didn’t stop talking to breath. “And then I thought we could solve things after the game but you weren’t at the game and I tried to call you so many times and I swear I wanted to go there and talk to you but the gaffer told me I was supposed to come back with the team”
You quickly entered the house so your brother wouldn’t be worried. The last thing you needed was him and Alice wanting to stay — you needed to talk with Mason alone, your family needed this time together.
You circled his waist with one arm, the other holding Luke between you two, and waited for him to hug your shoulders. When Mason calmed down you pulled away just so you could look at him.
“What’s going on?” you asked him, a hand going straight to his cheek. “Are you having panic attacks again?”
Mason shook his head, calmer now that you were inside the house and Matt’s car was gone. Luke stretched out his tiny arms to Mason and you instantly passed him to your husband.
“I thought- I saw Matt’s car parked and I thought you were here to take your stuff” he shyly admitted, his cheeks blushing.
“Oh baby, I would never leave you” you ran your fingers through his hair and your heart tightened when he hugged Luke like his life depended on this.
A lonely tear went down his cheek and you brushed it.
“We’re not going anywhere big boy, you can relax. I think you’re close to suffocating him” you giggled, your heart hurting at how tight he was holding Luke.
“Am I?” Mason’s eyes widened as he pulled his son away, to be sure he wasn’t hurting him.
“Sorry, I was just kidding” you laid your head on your husband’s shoulder. “We missed you so much. I’m so sorry, Mase”
When Luke laid his head on daddy’s other shoulder, your eyes watered.
Since you gave him birth, since he grew inside you even, you could never understand how someone could hurt their own child. You would die and kill for him, and you know Mason feels the same way.
Being a mother like yours turned out to be your biggest fear since you saw the first positive test. Now, each day he grows more you’re sure you could never.
You could never treat him like his opinions and wishes aren’t valid. You could never tell him he can’t simply answer you his point of view no matter what, even when you’re wrong. You could never put yourself first when your son depends on you.
“Believe me, I missed you more. The bed was always cold, every night, and the house is so quiet without Luke, the food doesn’t taste the same, there’s not a single drawing in the bathroom wall and everything looks so lifeless” his voice cracked, and you looked at him to see uncountable tears spilling down his face. “Ever again. You’re not leaving my side ever again”
You nodded, trying to reassure him and ease the panic you could see in his eyes. Hugging his waist, you peppered kisses to his jaw, feeling the salty water on your lips.
“We’re not going anywhere, baby. I swear”
Mason’s sobs caught Luke’s attention, and he looked at his dad with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen, full of confusion.
Your words weren’t enough to stop Mason’s breakdown once he was feeling safe to show you how much the last month affected him and his body started to shake, so you guided him to the couch and sat with your back against the arm so he could lay between your legs.
With Luke sitting on one of your legs and Mason’s head resting on the other, you let your husband cry.
“It’s ok, Mase” you scratched his scalp, trying to soothe him. Your heart physically hurt when he clinged to you, hugging your waist tighter. “I’m here now”
“Sorry” he whispered when you started to brush his tears.
“Don’t feel sorry for being hurt, Masey. You can cry to me whenever you need to, I’m here to protect you too”
“You, protecting me?” he giggled, and you smiled at the sound of it. He got up from your lap and gave you a shy smile, stretching his hands out for Luke who immediately tried to go to him.
“Yeah, it’s your turn to be taken care of” you shrugged, giving your baby boy to him.
“Oh so you’ll take care of me?” Mason gave you a smirk and you rolled your eyes playfully before remembering what you wanted to show him the most.
“Daddy is being a naughty boy, Luke. Tell him to be better, uh? Tell dad to behave”
“Da” Luke babbled, and Mason pinched his chubby cheeks.
“One month alone with mum and you already forgot that I’m your partner in crime?”
“Da-dada” he kept going, and you wish you could get Mason’s reaction tattooed, the way he confused eyes looked at you.
“What the fu-“
“Don’t curse” you giggled, covering his mouth, but Mason could hear the sad tone on your voice. “He said if for the first time last night, we were watching the game and I told him we would see dada soon. He can’t stop anymore I guess”
Mason kissed Luke’s cheek, laughing between sobs when he squirmed, giving little screams.
“You have training today?” you whispered, afraid of ruining the moment but Mason shook his head.
“I’ll call the gaffer to explain” he brushed his fingers through Luke’s face.
“I’ll run his bath then” you told your husband before kissing his head and quickly going upstairs, trying to give them some time alone.
In reality, you feel so bad for separating father and son for an entire month. Seeing Mason’s cry made it hit you how bad your actions hurt him, even intentionally.
Imagining how you would feel if it was the opposite, your heart physically hurt with guilt, how hard this month apart was for Mason and you could feel a few hot tears spilling down your face. Now, you can only hope he won’t hold any grudge against you, despite what you did.
Less than ten minutes later, Mason was entering your shared room and walking straight to the en-suite so he could find you.
“Babe? You can’t leave your boys alone, we don’t know how to take care of ourse- ei, what’s wrong?” he cupped your cheek, and just the warmth of his hand was enough to make you feel better.
“Nothing” you shook your head, drying your face with the back of your hand. “Can you take off his clothes?”
“We’ll talk about it once he’s sleeping” Mason kissed your forehead, squeezing your waist. You nodded, letting him go and undress Luke whilst you chose some toys for your son.
You put the toys in the bath, checking again to be sure the water wasn’t too hot and turning around to Mason.
“Can you bathe him?” you asked him and he instantly nodded, holding your waist before you could leave.
“Go bath in the guest bathroom if you need some time alone, yeah?” he caressed your chin, and your heart pounded even more with how gentle he could be with you even though you hurt him.
Since he seems to know you more than you know yourself, you obeyed. Taking what you’d need, you headed to the guest bathroom and took a warm shower.
You wanted to cry. You wanted to let it all go when Mason and Luke weren't around, but you couldn’t. There was just a whole in your chest, but no tears.
After washing your hair in an attempt to feel freshened and lightened, you wrapped yourself in your robe and came back to your room. Mason wasn’t there, so you imagine he was at Luke’s room putting him to sleep, and not wanting to get in the middle of their father and son time you changed in your pyjamas and tucked in bed.
Half an hour ater you still weren’t able to close your eyes, staring the wall. You’ve heard when your husband entered the room and changed from his trainers, wanting to lay down with you.
“You can go to training if you’re not too late, Mase” you told him softly, not wanting him to get in trouble.
“No way” was his only groaned response, and you sighed when Mason cuddled you seconds later, his arm circling your waist.
Your eyes instantly teared up.
“Go on” Mason kissed your shoulder. “You don’t need to hold it, it’s just us”
“I can’t believe she did this” you tried to tell him without crying, but with every little kiss on your shoulder you could feel the breakdown coming. “Lying would’ve been bad enough but hiding my phone? Not caring that Luke was feeling sick- oh we need to take him to Dr. Linn”
“I’ll take care of it. Keep going” he encouraged you, and you couldn’t understand how he was the one left behind for a month but still so worried about you.
“I don’t know why she wanted me there. The entire month, every day she had something bad to say about me or you, or even Luke. Always leaving to see her friends or get drunk, so in the end I was alone most of the time. She hates me and my family, but she still wanted to keep me around for some reason” your eyes were burning at this point, and Mason’s soft skin against yours made you feel safe enough to finally let the tears spill. “I’m so sorry you had to live an entire month without him”
His hug tightened a bit when you sobbed.
“It’s not your fault. And I lived an entire month without you too, you know? You were missed just as badly”
“It is my fault, Mason. You said it yourself, I chose her over my family and I’m really sorry about it. I want you to spend more time with him, make up for lost time”
Mason pulled away just enough so he could helo turn your body to face his, his hand going straight to cup your chin.
“Y/N, what’s that? I don’t wanna spend hours alone with Luke, even though I love him more than anything. I wanna make up for lost time with my family, not only with half of it. I was angry that night, yeah? I was tired and missing you and I was so pissed you weren’t here when I got back home, I just snapped”
“You had every right to” you murmured, his thumbs never stopping with caressing your face.
“And then the next morning you weren’t answering my calls and when the time came you weren’t at the game like you said you would and I was so scared you had given up on us. So during the night I couldn’t sleep and I realised… I know you, I know you wouldn’t deprive me of my son even though you didn’t want to talk to me yourself, so I panicked. I’m sorry I called Matt, he was my only option”
“Matt and I were good” you smiled at him, and the way his eyebrows raised made you giggle. “I could never give up on us, silly. You’re my everything. Not going to bed with you every night, not making your breakfast every morning… it was the worst month of my life”
“That’s why I gotta give you my attention too, babe. You’re my girl, and Luke knows how to share, you know? He’s not selfish”
“Well, I don’t think I deserve your attention. Look what you had to go through for an entire month” you groaned, but Mason just sighed before placing his forehead against yours.
“You were manipulated, by someone you love a lot. You were worried and wanted nothing more than to help her, and I understand that staying away from me was a consequence of what you needed to do in your head, even tho in reality you didn’t have to do anything. I don’t really like your mum but I love mine, and I know the feeling of being able to do anything for her” he held you tighter. “You don’t need to feel guilty about it”
“Mason, you can’t pretend it’s alright. I lost the most important game of the season. I lost your fucking goal. I should’ve been there to support you and then I should’ve been here to comfort you” you chocked, the guilty feeling eating you alive.
“Babe-”
“It’s not ok! And I’d feel better if you just admit it, let me apologise and forgive me” you tried to breath and calm down. “You lost the first time he called for you and it’s my fault”
“We’ll, I’m listening now. And he can’t stop, isn't it adorable? The tiny human we made. With so much love” he kissed your forehead. “I missed you so much I think I feel like making another one any time”
“Mason!” you gasped, feeling your cheeks getting warm.
“What? The day we made Luke was so hot. A mess, but incredibly hot” he closed his eyes, licking his lips and you had to look away with flaming cheeks. You know exactly the day you got pregnant since it happened in a month you and Mason only got to sleep together once. Mason laid on his back and helped you lay half of your body on top of his. “Fine, baby. Let me hear your apologies”
“I’m really sorry for missing your first goal. You have no idea how awful I feel, because I should be there to celebrate it with you, to scream loud with the fans, to show how proud I was. And I’m sorry I lost the most important game for you. I hope you know I would never do that on purpose, and we wanted to be there for you. But I watched on TV and I’m so proud of you. You did so well with the time you had, and I’m sorry about the general result. You were so pretty though”
“Was I?”
“I’m starting to understand the hair now” you giggled. “It filled my tummy with butterflies”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna make another baby? Because you’re sounding like you do” he teased. “You’re forgiven, princess. And I don’t wanna you beating yourself about it, yeah? I already told you, I understand what happened and how stuck you were. It’s your family, after all”
“No” you shook your head, clinging even more against him. “You are my family. You and Luke”
“And the babygirl we’re gonna make soon?”
“Stop” you groaned, burying your face in his bare chest. “I want another one too”
“Really?” he pouted, and you could never say no to him.
“We could try your girl or start the Mason Mount FC” you hummed, content when he kissed you.
“Perfect” he murmured, lips brushing yours softly. You stared into his eyes, smiling when he raised his eyebrows. “Wanna start trying now? Cause I honestly missed you so much-”
“Shut up” you giggled, relaxing in his embrace. Brushing your nose against his neck, you inhaled the after shave smell and focused on how soft his neck is.
After a few minutes appreciating his warmth, you allowed yourself to sleep deeply, finally in your home. Where you are loved for who you are, not for what you can offer. Where you are wanted and your presence is valid. Where you feel safe.
Not your perfect three store white house, no. Your home. Mason Mount.
#✧･ﾟ: *✧ tsimvkas — works#mason mount x you#mason mount#mason mount fanfic#mason mount fluff#mason mount angst#mason mount x reader#mason mount fics
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ngl ur last post abt mike and sol kinda makes me ship them
I wouldn't say I ship them, but I think they have the potential for a very interesting dynamic that I'm looking forward to being expanded upon in later chapters. I suppose this is as good a chance as any to summarize what I've gleaned from both games so far- I think y'all know by now just how much I like talking about Mikey.
Fair warning, there will be spoilers up ahead, for both the third season of the OG game and the first season of Nightbringer. I'll remain as vague as I can while still getting the point across, but they're rather large spoilers.
Solomon and Michael's Relationship
(The Impromptu Essay)
In Nightbringer, it seems like Michael has a similar relationship to Solomon that Nightbringer does- in terms of being a high-status being much more powerful than Solomon himself, who grants Solomon certain favors and protections and watching over him in a way.
For one, he gave Solomon the Ring of Wisdom, which as essentially the twin to the Ring of Light is likely very important to Michael. A few lines of dialogue in the OG game also imply that Michael cleaning up after Solomon's messes is a rather regular occurrence.
Speaking of those lines of dialogue... I think one of the most telling scenes about their relationship was the brief, one-sided conversation Michael had with MC in the OG game, after fixing a little (big) magic fiasco related to Solomon's cooking. Now, disclaimer, this scene is technically ambiguous, but "???" on a blinding light background seems pretty safe to assume as Michael considering the other times we've had this.
"He's a truly decent human with a good head on his shoulders, but sometimes he can be more troublesome than the demons."
The first thing Michael (or, who we can assume to be Michael) says here is essentially defending Solomon's character. This is clearly someone he knows personally, and to some degree trusts if he's willing to give him benefit of the doubt like this. That said, he's clearly exasperated. A real "god damnit, Solomon" moment.
"He acts as though he understands his own power, but he doesn't. Which is why his strange fascination with cooking of all things causes me no end of..."
This is the line I was talking about, that implied that Michael cleaning up after Solomon is a semi-regular occurrence. It definitely seems like this isn't the first time Michael has dealt with something like this from Solomon. And if it's affecting him personally like this, it's clearly something he feels some level of responsibility over.
Solomon and his antics clearly aren't insignificant to him. And from the looks of things, they haven't been for a long time- just a little while prior to this scene, a pre-fall Lucifer states that Michael has taken an interest in "a human sorcerer", implying this dynamic between the two of them started before Lucifer fell.
All in all... Solomon is someone that Michael on some level respects and trusts, but also a royal pain in the ass to look after. Which was the basis of that original post.
Now, with the groundwork of their canon relationship and the cold hard evidence out of the way, this is where I'm going to start getting into speculative (and semicoherent rambling) territory.
I think Michael and Solomon create an interesting mix of personalities. While Michael appears to be "the responsible one" of the relationship, he's constantly cleaning up after Solomon after all, I wouldn't exactly say he's a responsible person in his own right. At the end of the first season of Nightbringer, we see he has a tendency to deflect any conversation he doesn't like and literally run away from his problems. We also see throughout Nightbringer that Michael likes playing some major mind games to get what he wants, often with clear disregard for other people. He seems to be most comfortable playing 4d chess with people from a distance to avoid having to confront his feelings directly. He's manipulative and mischievous in order to cover up deep-seated feelings of loneliness- something Solomon can very much relate to.
I feel like Solomon would be one of the few who has the patience for Michael's mind games. Solomon isn't above these kinds of games himself, after all- it takes one to know one. Puzzles are something that fascinate Solomon, and let's face it he needs the intellectual stimulation. He's just as bored and lonely as Michael is. Enough that he just might toy with him right back.
Solomon is also quick-witted and observant enough to be able to tell when Michael is trying to deflect things or pull a fast one, and call him out on it- which, honestly, might be for Michael's own good at this point. Somebody needs to tell this man no, and somehow I don't think any of the angels underneath him are going to do it. Speaking of which...
Solomon also seems to have a unique take on authority when compared to basically any other character. While most characters- angels especially, including former angels like Lucifer- view things very hierarchically, Solomon doesn't seem to see things this way. He has no problem sassing Nightbringer and calling him out on things, despite Nightbringer having a clear position of power over him and it essentially being biting the hand that feeds you. Solomon could very well be the one person with the nerve to treat Michael as an equal. Which creates a very interesting dynamic.
All in all, I'm very excited to see where Solomon and Michael's relationship goes. I mean, I'm excited to see more of Michael at all, but I think these two especially are a real point of interest.
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Hi. You watch a lot of dramas/series. Do you have any favorites? If you do, what's your top 20 favorite Asian BL dramas/series?
Hi, anon)) thank you for asking. Sorry, it took a while) but I have to prepare a visual representation to compensate for the lack of writing skills))) english is hard T_T
anyway, here are some of my favorite things
Love by Chance (2018)
The show that started it all (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡
Yep, my first Bl therefore I just must include it. Is is a good show? - not really. BUT! AePete are my babies, I love them. Nobody does it like them ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
2. My Only 12% (2022)
Childhood friends to lovers done right! My favorite show of the last year. It is a slooooow burn but it's so worth it! Very lively and real boys. great family and friend dynamics, kind of meh last story outside of CakeEwi but still…If you want some great friendship slowly blooming into romance this is the show
3. Kieta Hatsukoi (2021)
Super cute show. All characters are amazing, story well written, minimum hurt all the comfort. Good girl-not an enemy (im really easy too please ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) xd)
4. 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii (2020)aka Cherry magic
JapBL are totally for me when they do fluff, (cause their angst is on a such level I need a lifetime to process it xd)
but this one is so fluffy (ฅ́ ˘ฅ̀)♡ They make me happy and I grateful for it
5. My Ride (2022)
Speaking of fluff °ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ° Other couples are kind of boring But! Mork's uncles, MorkTawan's adopted son (still a bit salty we didnt see him again, Tawan should've had more parenting time, he is clearly a great dad ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚) natural growth of their friendship into love *_*. This one is good!
6.Color Rush (2020)
I love soulmates. Its short, simple story but with very interesting and original idea.
7. Hello Stranger (2020)
Such a simple story but the way it was done is amazing! Falling in love through web camera (੭ ˊ^ˋ)੭ ♡ Characters have such an incredible chemistry even tho they have minimum personal contact(kudos to actors they done well)))
I Will Knock You (2022)
Okay, yes age gap not for everyone. But again it was done very respectful.
૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა I love love love Noey's ˖°.✧aesthetic✧˖°., his room is my fave ngl, i want everything he has))))I love this delusional king He was so sure Thi is into him from the second they met and i live for it.
9. Until We Meet Again (2019)
I love soulmates 2. I just love this show. Its gonna traumatize you and then comforts you with cutest fluffiest boys that going through it
10. Vice Versa (2022)
I didn't like it at first
Puen annoyed me too much ૮꒰˶> ༝ <˶ ꒱ა but then I binge rewatch it in one weekend and I just fall for it. Its so good))) I love soulmates 3 and it's super pretty. I love colors
11. About Youth (2022)
Show where I love main and second couple the same ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ thats rare))) Again very simple story but told beautifly
12. HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018)
Let's talk HIStory. They kind of getting worse imho. 4 and 5 were just fine. thats sucks ʚ₍ᐢ ›̥̥̥ ༝ ‹̥̥̥ ᐢ₎ɞ i still love them tho
HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018) 13. HIStory3 Trapped (2019) and 14. HIStory2 Crossing the Line (2018)
are superior for me. but just watch any of them they all are worth your time
15. Our Dating Sim (2023)
Second chance romance done very very right!
16. Oxygen (2020)
Good fluffy fluff. P'Phu and his bunny are so precious. Main are cute and sweet and adorable. Ignore weird girl and doctor everything else is just so lovely
17. Light on Me (2021)
Love triangle done right. Good light fluffy show that did hurt so good (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
18. To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories (2022)
I love how they told this story
19. Not Me (2021)
its hard to explain how good this show is, its more serious than usual bls, great acting, amazing story, strong message told through not just cinematography but art and dance too. its truly great show
20. Triage (2022)
Time loops are fun
+ some honorable mentions
Ingredients (2020)
not a show))) just an add but damn. It such a feel good little comfort add
Jeff and Gameplay have an amazing chemistry, simple slice of life stories but so good , mutual pining done so well
anything by strongberry, literally just go at their YT chanel and enjoy ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚
emmmm that a long post sorry
#q&a#mine edit#Love by Chance#my only 12 percent#my only 12%#kieta hatsukoi#30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii#cherry magic#my ride the series#color rush#Hello Stranger the series#I Will Knock You#Until We Meet Again#vice versa the series#About Youth the series#HIStory2 Right or Wrong#HIStory3 Trapped#HIStory2 Crossing the Line#Our Dating Sim#oxygen the series#Light on Me#To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories#triage the series#ingredients the series#strongberry
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Speaking to more of the thralls on the Szarr palace lower level:
Narrator: The woman's eyes are alert, verging on manic, as she bustles about.
"Everything's gotta be right for the master! Everything's gotta be perfect!"
NGL I wish I could muster the same level of enthusiasm for cleaning that these people have (though ideally without being a vampire thrall I guess).
More room exploring!
Walking down the corridor to what seems like the last downstairs room, another one flickers into existence next to it.
Ughhhhh.
Hector was already fucking appalled by Cazador simply based on the stories Astarion has told him in the past, but seeing this place in person is making him far more so. That bastard is NOT surviving the night if Hector has anything to say about it.
I wonder if the kennel is meant to be the place where Astarion talked about having been shut into solitary for a year straight. :/
It's a roughly 20x20 stone room with a bunch of bedrolls laid across the floor. "Prime spot for an ambush," Jaheira mutters as we walk in, her perception pinging off of this not-very-subtle ambusher in the corner.
We get to talk to him, presumably because we noticed him before he attacked. Judging by the dialogue he's supposed to be a LITTLE more subtle than this.
"I know you're there, Godey. Stop skulking and show yourself."
The skeleton creeps from the shadows; despite the immobility of the skull, it seems to smirk in Astarion's direction. "You always were sharp, little one," it hisses. "Sharp enough to cut yourself."
"It's taking everything I have not to grind your rotten carcass to dust," Astarion growls. Hector isn't sure he's ever seen the elf this cold.
"Don't be mad at Godey, child," the skeleton says; its voice is gravelly, like the rubbing of its bones together. "I only did my job. Only kept you in line..."
"You tortured us!" Astarion shoots back. "For days at a time!"
"Oh, yes-- and you sang so sweetly for me," purrs the skeleton. "None of the others screamed like you did." It tilts his head slowly to look towards Hector. "But you're home now... and you brought me a treat, eh? A new friend for Godey?"
Hector has heard more than enough. This creature is a torturer, and Astarion is practically vibrating with rage; Hector means to let Astarion call the shots here where he can, so he doesn't actually lash out - but his fury on his friend's behalf is obvious as he speaks.
[INTIMIDATION] "Lay a hand on me and lose it, bones," he snaps.
"Not very nice," the skeleton groans, leaning a little away out of Hector's reach. "Not very friendly..." It glares at Astarion out of its empty-socket eyes. "Why are you here, then, little one? If not to see Godey."
Astarion's remembered fear and current rage have overcome any sense of subtlety now, and his lips curl in a cold smile. "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to kill Cazador."
"How DARE you!" the skeleton squeals, recoiling. "As if you could lay a finger on the master, you ungrateful little brat!" It raises its heavy sword in both hands. "Godey will not let you get away with blasphemy. Godey will see you punished!"
-----
Hector can't help a faint, sardonic grin as he lifts his fists and steps to Astarion's side. "What happened to cunning and guile?" he asks in a dry undertone.
"Oh, shut up," Astarion says irritably, "and help me crush this little pest."
"With pleasure."
-----
This fight was actually hysterical, because Godey's immediate strategy was to back out of the room and summon the other thralls for help - except he was standing directly next to Jaheira, Karlach, and Astarion, and they all landed AOOs on him one after the other. I had to check the combat log to see what happened because it looked like he just evaporated.
LOL. Get fucked. That's what happens when you talk about torturing Astarion in front of his friends.
#bjk plays baldur's gate 3#hector carlisle#gonna leave it there for tonight - will take on cazador tomorrow most likely :D
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Thoughts from watching the ATLA live action!
Episode 2:
So I guess no intro every episode? A shame, but understandable (we literally got it twice in the first one lmao). Hopefully it's back in season 2!
Ah, so this is the aforementioned diary related hissy fit I've been hearing so much about! It is pretty funny tbh lol. Anyway, no, Iroh, Zuko had it right actually lmao, Aang is a coward! It's just... A bit strange to include that here given that his biggest running away incident isn't present in this show? So like. Yes, animated Aang absolutely is a coward, as to this one? It remains to be seen ig, so far he isn't that much, actually, which just makes Zuko seem wrong when in the animated show he would've been 100% correct
OwO what's this??? An Aang thats being proactive and interested about learning and how to control and best use his powers??? You love to see it.
Alright so. Truly I don't know what people are talking about in regards to Katara? Her sense of adventure and tendency to get in trouble while doing reckless things is still absolutely present- those are also important things about her, not just being angry and nurturing! This is a Katara that presents and composes herself differently, and yeah, it's a bit strange! But she still feels like Katara, just... A quiet Katara! She's much less out there with her emotions, which. I do miss a bit ngl, but it's a really interesting direction for her that feels like it's inevitably gonna lead to a major explosion, probably around the time of TSR too! So idk, its really not as big of an issue to me as it seems to be to other people ig. She and Aang were changed a lot- with Aang I do think it's absolutely a positive change because I hate him in canon, but with Katara I just think it's really interesting and worth giving a shot to because it doesn't seem wholly out of pocket or to be leading nowhere, not when you know that her highest emotional points still lie in wait and might, in fact, hit harder if they were a complete deviation from normal to this otherwise calm character. It may still flop and fail, but I genuinely do thing they're building up to something with her and that it's worth giving a chance to.
Kanna once again being the goat!! Idk that I talked much about her during the last episode but I think it was mostly just because I didn't really have any notes lol, I just enjoy her expanded role a lot! The entire legacy of the southern bending being lost in favor of the northern one is a thing I've seen talked about a lot, so I actually really like that there's at least one moveset from the southern style that's preserved here. Of coursing losing "I'll save you from the pirates" is a great personal loss, but I've already seen The Scarf scene so I'm glad at least there was a more or less equivalent replacement lol
Burying Gyatso is a great addition!!!
Blasphemy!!! No such thing as "chicken"!!! What is this abomination Sokka speaks of here???
God everything about Kyoshi Island, including Suki, is just... 😍 I really do love that this Aang is capable of like. Relating to others, being understanding and persuasive and cautious. It's certainly like. A whole different person aside from brief moments of silliness and levity, but it works much better for me because, again, this is a level he never reaches in the original even at the end of his story even though he SHOULD'VE.
Iroh is fr so weird with how direct he is, I just. Can't get used to it- literally his only eccentric quality atm is being a bit of a gourmand, it feels really off. For all his talk about being able to know how to talk to people to get what you want, Zhao sees through him super quick, because like, c'mon, literally who wouldn't??? It was super obviously a lie and. It's all so bizarre, he feels WAY too serious for this point in the story and it genuinely really takes me out of every scene he's in.
As weird as it is for Suki to still get offended when Sokka respects her position and calls her a warrior, the Sukka here IS really funny and fun to watch haha!
Katara is genuinely so sweet with Aang here, idk I just really enjoyed that scene! Do kinda wish we'd get to see Katara drop her water orb lmao, I keep waiting for it to happen and it just never does. She IS a natural prodigy, but I think the original show demonstrated a bit better how much she struggled without any guidance by having her fail her forms rather than just fail to get anything to happen.
It's the intro air scooter scene!!!! Also I'm really enjoying how Katara's right here about Aang being good with people, and how I noticed it myself as well!
Suki trying to flirt with Sokka is so cute oml
Aang being TOO powerful and unable to control his bending is actually such a good idea!!
Omg finally Iroh feels like Iroh!! Who knew all that was needed was literally just for him to talk in Pai Sho metaphors again lmao. Tbh, maybe just literally ANY metaphor whatsoever was missing, oof
Interesting to have Suki take off her makeup right before battle, or like. At all during her first appearance! Not really like, bad or good, just an interesting choice I felt was worth mentioning because it certainly hit me as very different
Hey, uh, Kyoshi babe, you're 100% correct and I enjoy seeing you yelling some sense into Aang but. This is the wrong Aang for this??? Like he literally never ran away it's so bizarre how they keep acting like he did when the original was all too happy to drop that angle when he consistently did. Idk it kinda feels like him not technically running away was maybe like a last minute rewrite or something? It's weird and doesn't gel with how people keep treating it- especially Kyoshi, who was there and should know he legitimately had no intent on turning back from his duties at any point. I love love LOVEE this scene but? It doesn't fit in this version of the story, sadly
Wait why the fuck can Kyoshi see the future?? This is so weird, like I get that it's his call to action and a way of pointing them to the NWT given that they haven't really talked about going there yet but. It's a really weird power for her to suddenly have lmao (unless this is a thing in the novels? I wouldn't know, haven't read them, but somehow I feel like I would've heard about it)
Can I just say that I really like Yukari, and in particular her relationship with Suki? She's a fine addition to this arc imo, and really supports the whole "young people lead the charge on making a difference". Kyoshi Island's motivations for staying neutral in the animated show were of course understandable, but I like that here we can see there's a real conflict about it even before the gaang arrive there. It really endears Suki in a whole new way (tbh she's generally amazing here) and it will make it a lot more natural when we see her again in the following seasons! Also my own personal selfish wish is for the show to find a way to make her a part of the gaang for longer and earlier on. Like, as it stands, if there are three seasons, she might show up once again in season 2 and obviously join up with them in season 3 but. Boy do I want to see more of her, always have, always will! This show is genuinely such a prime opportunity to integrate her more info the story- make her have meaningful relationships with each member of the gaang, establish a role for her and what unique thing she brings to the group (special mention as always to @emletish-fish 's Stalking Zuko for having her be "the sensible one" which worked great)... Just. Make her matter for once, because I will never forgive nor be able to get over the way her existence was just completely ignored and essentially erased in LoK. Suki has always deserved better, right down to the way she was constantly brought back each season because everyone loved her, and I want this show to better reflect that that the absolute nothing she was given in LoK. Suki is a member of the gaang and she deserves to be treated as such, not just as Sokka's girlfriend.
Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled post!Sokka pissing off Zhao while using Suki's fan is something that can be so personal... Like, I can get into the symbolism here about the connection between these characters but. For anyone who knows where the show is going, there are no words necessary to understand why that interaction carries the weight it does. It's just... A beautiful, emotional little moment amidst some really solid fighting choreography! Of course Suki and Sokka working beautifully together was great, Yukari's fighting highly suggests she was a Kyoshi Warrior in her time as well (is... Kyoshi leadership a nepotism/family thing? Questions to ask.), and Momo getting involved were all great, but. That was really the highlight for me. It would be really impactful to anyone who knows, and to anyone who doesn't it's still just like. A really kickass Sokka moment
Also may I just say I'm very impressed with how far Sokka's come in less than two days? Like, of course it's probably not very realistic, but it absolutely supports what they're getting at here which is that Suki IS a great leader and teacher (the short scene with her looking over the other warriors' training and correcting their form was great), and that Sokka is ultimately just as competent a fighter as Katara and has the same natural talent and drive. Their little exchange about nonbenders having to work harder and be better felt very... Real in a way I can't quite express, and it felt like a very important thing that deserved to be acknowledged by the show. Sokka gets underestimated so much and reduced so frequently to being the meat and sarcasm guy, even by himself, so like. Sokka's arc is very important to me because of how often it goes unnoticed or unmentioned in the face of other, more visible ones... And I feel like they're doing a great job at adapting it, slightly modernizing him ("tastes like chicken" notwithstanding) and making him stand out more while keeping the core of it. Sokka's arc was something I was already slightly concerned with initially, and the "we're removing Sokka's sexism" rumors didn't help assuage my fears given how important it was to help set the stage for the kind of person he is, so like. Genuinely I have to give them kudos for finding a way to take it out and keep how he changes and what we ultimately learn about him as a character that didn't feel forced. This is kind of just? A great episode for all of the characters, they all flow much better individually and with each other, and I genuinely really enjoyed it for the most part as opposed to the first that was a bit stilted in a lot of places- but I guess it being mostly just. All of the exposition and Aang's backstory stuff was the issue, and when they let the characters just... Be, it all works really well!
Oh my god Kyoshi is. Doing so much heavy lifting here, literally where was my girl for the entirety of the animated show, that Aang needed some major reality checks lmao. This is... A lot for the second episode when Aang is genuinely just still trying to get a handle on things, but I don't know that I really... Hate how she's preparing him and establishing the stakes? She's an absolute hardass here, but she's not overly cruel- she's genuinely trying to help as much as she can in her own area of expertise, because who knows when she'll next get to talk to Aang, and what if he never gets to hear this stuff? Would he just... Perhaps turn into who animated Aang did? Like, it's extremely harsh and kind of feels excessive for where the show and Aang are at right now, but... Genuinely I can't really say it's a bad thing for Aang to hear all of this, because I only know what happens in the universe where he doesn't. It's fucking tough to watch little Aang be verbally beaten down like this, but? Ultimately, what Kyoshi is saying are important things that Aang needs to come to understand sooner rather than later, and she IS trying to help, even if her way is harsh, so I can't really fault her for it too much because like. I understand where she's coming from all too well, both as someone who watched the original show and thus is aware of how tough the road ahead is going to be for Aang and everyone around him, and as someone who is a big OG Aang critic and wishes he could've heard all of this in the animated show. It's... A difficult scene to watch, but I don't think it's entirely without merit.
Holy shit I can't believe they kept Zuko trying to appeal to Katara even though they took out the pirates, I was genuinely surprised by that!!
Oh. OHHH. So. I was right about where they were going with Katara, wasn't I? I was fairly certain about it before, but how meek and unsure she is in battle despite how powerful she already is followed by a trauma flashback really cemented for me that they're leaning pretty heavily into the different ways Katara was affected by losing Kya. She's still very protective of her loved ones, she's still brave and powerful and driven... And, more than ever, she's also haunted by her mother's spirit with every step she takes. She's more afraid and cautious than her animated counterpart ever was, and it translates to her being "a doormat", but it's also... So clear to me she absolutely is not staying that way. This is the start of her journey, and it's just as valid as the original one. Seeing her stand against Zuko in the original show was never something that would've caused me to worry, but here I can feel her fear and how much it's holding her back.
Also, in their confrontation scene: Zuko is SCARY here! And that made this scene like. Genuinely really special to watch? Because I didn't even know that I was capable of finding Zuko intimidating anymore- he was always genuinely so honorable in the original that when rewatching you can kinda just... Very easily chalk his whole thing up to being misguided and lost- he does bad stuff, but when compared to the ruthlessness of the other villains he's barely a threat. But here Zuko is desperate, and he's scary, and he truly feels like a big bad evil guy when he's towering over non other than Katara who we so often get the best of him to the point where you kinda forget they weren't always matched in power and... This scene just. Really works for both of them individually, to show where they're at mentally and how they clash at this point in time... And, honestly? Knowing that this is an extremely temporary dynamic for them is actually really cool- that the next time they fight may very well be when Katara beat him? It's really cool. It doesn't scream Zutara, not at all, not in the way "I'll save you from the pirates" did, but? It feels important for them to have it, still- the Zuko and Katara dynamic always advances both of their individual stories, and this time is no different. It's... A bit hard to put into words just how visceral this scene felt and how excited it made me for both of their character arcs, as well as to the progress they're gonna make together, but. This was a great scene
Ngl it's really funny how everyone is flying in this adaptation
God I already miss Suki :(
Not really... Sure about why Sokka changed him mind about sticking Aang when he mostly hung out with Suki this episode, it seems mostly like he and Katara just want some more adventure, which is cool and not an issue at this point but? The episode seems to try and imply they're both there for Aang or for the world when it's pretty clear that isn't quite it, not yet, so it feels like it comes out of nowhere and a bit out of place. I do wish that angle was allowed to be a bit more present, because so far it just feels like either the characters are unaware of it yet or that the writing isn't and thus it's never gonna get addressed. In the animated show Katara was much more obviously self interested during parts of the first season, and Sokka was mostly there for her- which I liked, it gave room for both of them to grow into this new family unit they're creating with Aang over the course of the show! Here it seems like both of them initially wanted to help Aang and found they liked the adventure, and their goals on this adventure often feel a bit inconsistent? Katara is very obviously enjoying the freedom, but she seems to be more willing to go along for wherever because the plot aligns to make things she achieved herself on her road to becoming a master waterbender just... Happen to her? She didn't aquire the waterbending scroll, she didn't suggest and advocate for going to the NWT, they're just things that happen and suit her goals really well! In that sense she feels a bit less driven, as she doesn't have to be- she's obviously dedicated to training and becoming better, but she less creates opportunities rather than fall upon them, which? I'd find it a bit hard to buy this Katara stealing, and I guess maybe she doesn't suggest the NWT because as established they don't know what state its in and she's a bit more risk averse than in the original, but... While her taking less initiative isn't necessarily a bad thing here (again, so long as it is a part of her arc rather than a continuous state), it muddles her motives a bit and serves to make the group dynamic a bit confusing. Is she there for Aang? For adventure? For waterbending? For herself? Of course it's ultimately all of those, but. I think presenting all of them right at the start makes her motivations a bit too confusing, especially when paired with Sokka who, in this order: wanted to abandon Aang out of caution, wanted to help Aang because it'd be the right thing to do, wanted to abandon Aang because he wanted to go back home, and then after hanging out with Suki for an entire episode was suddenly worried about leaving Aang alone. Their connection didn't really deepen in any way, so it feels like his motivation is much less about Aang but about what he could gain, except he doesn't frame it like that either! Idk it's confusing, and genuinely I can't tell if it's just. Bad/inconsistent writing or if it's meant to be A Thing, like, Katara and Sokka trying to find their reason for "abandoning" home. I can certainly twist the events to be that if I think about it enough, as I just did, but... Ultimately I do think there was a bit of a failure here with presenting too many motivations and not committing to any single one. It's both way too complex, and also not complex enough to work, and so in the end it's just confusing. It's truly not that big a deal but the conversation at end of this episode on Appa didn't feel authentic or earned to that episode I just saw, which was the real issue imo. I desperately hope this isn't the end of these two trying to justify their journey, and that thus turns out to have been intentional, but frankly... I do just have a feeling it was a bit of unfortunate mangled writing.
That said, I'm actually not really feeling Zhao? I've read a post that said he gets progressively more hateble as opposed to the original where he started out as immediately hateble so I'm curious if that's what's gonna happen to me too! It was cool to see Ozai though for sure haha!
I do have to shout out the way Iroh and Zhao interact with this forced politeness as something that stood out to me in an extremely good way- it's stilted, and awkward, and it's 100% meant to be, and it worked fantastically with the contrast to Zuko's being so direct and brash. I'm not like, an expert by any means, but I do have an interest in Japanese culture and it definitely felt reminiscent of the way respect and politeness is so important and entrenched in the culture right down to the language structure- it felt a bit like Zuko was just talking casually until Iroh came along and started talking in keigo, if that makes sense to anyone? Might be talking out of my ass here but that's what it reminded me of so I thought I'd mention it. It was really interesting to see regardless!
Anyway I liked this episode a lot more! It still had its issues, but they feel more like growing pains here if that makes sense? There's definitely a sense that this show is slowly getting comfortable in its own skin as a separate entity from the original, so I hope that trend continues! Evidently the direction they're going here is not for everyone, but everything I've seen so far does feel extremely like it ultimately came from fans who have their own opinions on the original show rather than people just looking to make bold new twists. A lot of the changes here, while they might initially feel blasphemous, are also ones I'd have made to the original, and the ones that aren't don't feel like they're made thoughtlessly. I'm not happy with everything I've seen so far, but I'm absolutely excited to keep watching because I genuinely do have faith in this show managing to pull off the big swings they're taking.
Also, I think it's important to note- I'm the biggest Kataang hater, I hate them, truly, I do! And yet as strange as it is and as much as I hate to admit it? There was a genuinely cute scene between Katara and Aang this episode, and if they make their relationship a bit more equal going forward... While it likely still won't make me ship them, I do genuinely think I could stomach seeing them end up together if they stay away from the worst aspects of the ship in the original show. I won't be happy about it, ever, but. There's something to be said for them managing to make it tolerable even for the biggest opposers of the ship. I still hope it won't happen! But if it does... I hope it's done tastefully and in a more thought out way than it was originally.
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NO LISTEN. LISTEN. I CONCEALED THE TITLE ON PURPOSE BECAUSE... IDK what it is but I have a tendency to like things that would be hard to watch for one reason or another for MOST of the runtime but then by the end it's like Oh So This Was GOOD Actually? Oh So My Brain Is Rewired?
And then it just becomes IMPOSSIBLE to recommend because I have no idea if The Majority Of It would actually be worth the conclusion to anyone but me😭😭😭SP is along those lines, sort of, but I've at least seen success with that... but this is also the case for my favorite Tsutsumi movie of all time, actually... alas...
Nevertheless. The show is called After the Rain! I think it was originally a manga and it has a live-action adaptation too [criminal not to actually cast Tsutsumi in either In My Opinion but FINE I GUESS]. It's about a former track star in high school, Akira Tachibana, who works part-time at a restaurant and has the MOST EMBARRASSING crush on her manager, Masami Kondo, the character I showed you before, who is Tsutsumi But As A Middle-Aged Divorcee With A Son. They befriend each other and help each other come to grips with the future and the past, respectively.
I was afraid of the obvious because a lot of media that tries to do this ends up making it fucking weird... like, this sort of dynamic means a lot to me for personal reasons and I've been burned too many times by characters I'd come to love and trust... but naw... my man Kondo is Normal About It that's all that matters to me... I had to breathe SUCH a sigh of relief...
I really don't like that the camera is sometimes not normal about Akira, though, it undermines the actual themes of the show a bit. IDK, I'm hypersensitive, I expect it's nothing super egregious compared to a lot of other media, but it's just disappointing because SOMETIMES there's artistic merit in terms of representing what Akira's feeling and other times it's just totally unnecessary and introduces a tonal clash... SPEAKING OF THERE IS A GUY WHO IS NOT NORMAL ABOUT AKIRA AND THE ENTIRE PLOT THREAD IS BASICALLY JUST DROPPED BECAUSE HE'S HARDLY EVEN IN THE SHOW AFTER THAT... I WANTED CONSEQUENCES...
But if nothing else, that's not even exactly why I said it's a hard watch, the actual reason is the NUCLEAR levels of secondhand embarrassment for like two thirds of the show. Like GIRL he is NOT INTO YOU AND HE SHOULDN'T BE... GET A GRIP OH MY GODDDDDDDD................. but like, I was That Girl when I was her age, right, so the fact it had me imploding thinking back on everything is a testament to its accuracy overall. Probably.
And NGL that type of dynamic is basically how I conceptualize RGGJo and Arakawa when they first met... Jo and Akira may be cringe-ass teens but I got a soft spot for it I do... it can be FUNNY... it can be WHOLESOME...
All of that being said, the last third or so might as well be a different show, and it kind of blows the rest out of the water for me. Maybe because it focuses on Kondo and Akira separately? But it's free of literally anything I could possibly complain about. I ain't mad about the first two thirds, it does set up a lot of what made the last third so enjoyable... buuut...
ANYWAY that's ENOUGH OF THAT I am CUTTING MYSELF OFF THERE I've gone on for WAY TOO LONG ABOUT SHIT NOBODY ASKED ABOUT☠️Not like you can say anything to All That I just don't have anybody to talk to about it☠️and despite the fact I'm still not REALLY Recommending It and don't think it sounds appealing from my description, I feel like I probably shouldn't talk about the endgame stuff I'm obsessed with so☠️☠️☠️Anyway. If NOTHING Else. Funny as hell to have Tsutsumi as the basis for The Perfect Middle-Aged Man... SOOO true...
YAYA the DQXI demo goes like, up to just after you get the? Twins? in your party. And you can keep playing the game without progressing the story + continue your save in the full game so technically speaking I COULD grind until I'm overpowered... but I shan't... I'm not positive when I'm getting it since I still wanna play the series in order... For Ichiban... [<- see this is RGG-related now]
It is SO sick to actually get to play though, that's awesome! Toriyama's worked on some bangers what can I say... My first DQ was one of the DS remakes, probably DQV, but the only DQ game I've ever actually finished was the Rocket Slime spinoff. Very Fun By The Way genuinely one of my favorite DS titles... but THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE... regardless... Arachtagon is not in the demo but I can believe he's a bitch to fight given one of the top results is this ☠️
So I'm glad you're past it and are having fun with the game :] I loved your comic SOOO SO SO much so having that bit of background on makes it all the more enjoyable! I had my own comic about RGGJo losing his mind "babysitting" Ichi and watching him grind for hours on end which was also lowkey about my experience with DQI... lol... lmao even...
I'M SORRYYYYYY THOUGH I TOLD YOU SP WAS SLOW TO START FOR A REASON 😭😭😭😭It took me a while to notice but title sequences are always something like Episode III Part I so they're almost all multi-ep arcs... threw me for a loop... Okay that's enough from me Jesus fucking Christ I am SORRY for going on this long but just I have to say:
inoue's chara is so funny like He's Super Human um doc… i think he's just autistic lowkey….. he still a baller regardless tho
REAL AND TRUE AND REAL AND TRUE AND REAL AND
and i've already added it to the To-Watch list :) NO BUT REAL I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL- in trying to sell something but having to be like Here Me Out I Swear on it BUT I BELIEVE YOU THAT ITS GOOD. i know i can trust your word on something and i def appreciate the preemptive notes given before watching. im sure i'll enjoy it in the end: it looks cute and im glad it sounds like it's doing something better with a Touchy trope ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ biggest RIP to no tsutsumi in the live action but... cant be helped.....
NO BUT IT'S SO FUNNY CAUSE FOR MY COMIC I WANTED TO SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE'S 'HARDEST BOSSES' WERE AND I FELT SO SEEN IN SEEING ARACHTAGON AS AN OPTION..... funnily enough tho when i redid the fight it wasnt nearly as nightmarish as it was when i first did it but Again i think i was just better prepared... (also during my first attempt i had Literally the most fuck ass luck where my team kept getting stunned and dying but rab kept bringing them back to life and i Just Couldnt Die or even move so... Horrible First Experience Ruined A Game For Seven Months For Me ( ￣▽￣ ;;;;)). the first instance of DQ i remember seeing was DQIX and being liek 'hey they looks familiar :)' and ive just been watchin it since 🤭 ROCKET SLIME IS SO CUTE THOUGH if you had to finish ANY of the games im glad it was that one... i wish i got to play the series in order since I Like Doing That but im annoying about wanting to play things on The Official Console...
AH BUT IVE ALWAYS LIKED THE IDEA OF JO WATCHING ICHI PLAY A GAME i mentioned i had an abandoned comic about it but its still such a silly and cute idea.. id very much like to do something with it someday if not see others have fun with it cause i think they should have them silly family moments too..
NO IT'S OK I JUST FOUND IT FUNNY AN ARC WAS LIKE. 3-4 EPS WHEN AT MOST THEY'RE LIKE TWO i'm just about rapping up the ohashi arc and its SOOOOO good... i also love how the drama has a pretty diverse soundtrack that i notice a lot of other jdramas lack so thats DEF been a bonus plus all of the choreography (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) and real. inoue Is Just Neurodivergent that got solidified within me after seeing him mess around with that riddle book ☠️
#long post#snap chats#but SPEAAAAKING of cutting of asks im cutting it here good GOD this is long#its accurate that tsutsumi is just Iconic for being A Middle Aged Man that's just accurate.. cant explain it but i know its true..#i mean to save most of my chatter for the tags but. oops LMAO so i have nothing else left to say#other than im gonna start ep 8 now :) i really wanna see how this arc ends...#and then i just have three more episoes weh... but then i can start After The Rain :)#GETTING BACK TO THAT NOOOO ITS SOOO FUNNY cause i remember seeing the title of this drama#and being like 'what in the fresh hell is this' thinking itd be weird or just. What The Fuck#and i mean it WAS to an extent but no overall i left it just. ABSOLUTELY in love with it... it was really touching and light hearted#no freak shit moments either.. just ended up being a I Think This Is Whole story..#so uh yeah. i totally get how you feel tryna talk bout this LMAOO BUT AGAIN i know not to judge quickly#i always stick out to the end of shows and movies before making an opinion and Again i trust you for it to be good....#plus masami really is cute 😔 who am i to turn away an endearing middle aged divorced father 😔#OK I GOTTA GO NOW IVE REALLY GON ON TOO LONG BYYYE#THANK YOU FOR THE NEW SHOW REC :)))
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Well as a person who is into psychology in a degree, I can see Tenko as a abuse victim.
Her masters teachings is commonly used technic by abusers, isolating and giving false informations to the person who they groom and it is very tragic..
And I love how she actually... caring despite the misguided logic she had, I love her and feel very bad for her you know?
And according to me love hotels are despite being dubious, actually really shows some characters needs or.. some darker aspects in their psychology.
P.s: Ryoma one, Korekiyo one and Tenko one specifically.
And the brother line is really suspicious.. All of the characters have some freudian aspect in their relationships and this is deeply fucked up (My mind went for ishimondo for minute)
And yes, lesbian Tenko is a valid headcanon but I hate how they treat bisexual Tenko headcanon like this is being a lesbophobe, lots of my life experiences were related to me being into girls and I still can say it is not being a lesbophobia it is deciphering or analysing the freudian slip she had.
Anyways for the bi tenko hc sake, do you ship her with any men and one question again do you have any controversial sexuality or gender hc? They are quite fun ngl
I'm studying to be a comp-sci major, but its a lot harder than I thought it would be. ;-;
For the ships, that depends on who you ask. I ship her with Gonta, but I also hc Gonta as NB or Genderqueer like myself. (his relation to gender norms is interesting to me, and I feel like letting go of the ideal of masculinity he holds dear would be healthy for him.)
Of course, people just see the canon Gonta and think me lesbophobic because they don't understand my vision.
Like, if someone headcanons Bi Tenko and is lebophobic, that's on the person and not the headcanon. (though like, wouldn't that hypothetical lesbophobe not want her to be queer at all? Damn strawmen)
The Gay Kokichi headcanon purists are honestly even more annoying though. Yes, he confessed to Shuichi. That makes him into men. But he also did quite a lot of flirting with Himiko and Miu. Honestly, if you want to stick as close to canon as possible (and be boring) Bi Kokichi makes the most sense.
Speaking of Kokichi, how do some people pretend that Saiouma love hotel is canon and the rest are bullshit. I'm sorry, at that point just call it a headcanon.
For controversial headcanons... uh how about the big mommy of headcanons discoursed about through the end of time. I am a fan of the trans Chihiro hc. That being said, I really dislike how most fans that share the hc with me act, and how ignorant they are about Japanese gender norms. It isn't problematic to analyze the text on a surface level.
Also I forgot to mention in my last post, but I also hc almost everyone as autistic, mainly as projection but also because the current system seems geared to people with special interests. Everyone, but Taka and Tenko especially.
Tell me about your problematic hcs! Honestly, this fandom hasn't seen an actually problematic hc in years, it needs it.
(Honestly, I prefer the Sapphic label to the Lesbian label simply because of how my genderqueer ass doesn't neatly fit into the box vaguely defined as female. I am exclusively attracted to ladies, which makes this whole erasure thing an extra layer of stupid.)
As for freud, I don't want to accuse anyone of anything here, but it is very possible Kodaka has an incest kink. You do not include it to such a degree on accident. That isn't a whoopsie! Of course, he could be writing to work out his trauma, so its none of my business.
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Okay so I was rereading the second chapter of heaven knows...
Girl I had an observation, a pretty obvious one but I'm a dumbass so it took me a while.
The last person she thinks of in the first scene when she's still tied and blindfolded and shit starts going down is Aemond.
"She may not be afraid to die, but she is afraid of the consequences of the destruction she so wantonly laid upon the only man she’s ever loved."
Not only that but the very first moments when Daemon removes the blindfold and she's still disoriented, not only does she think (with the absolute blind conviction of a person in panic) that it's Aemond that has come for her but she's also about to call him before she realises the silver hair is her father's.
Like... Girlie... Ngl you kinda popped off there
That's so telling of where she is mentally and emotionally. I have no clue what went down between them, why she left, what photo she was looking to capture and what she had gotten involved into (i think it's something sus) but I (hopelessly romantic and endlessly a Valaemond simp) think that she maybe was on her own coming closer to returning home. And the whole kidnapping debacle and Daemon's insistence, and her close call and also the possible guilt over having Rhaenyra lose another child.. they all played an important role in getting her to make the final jump and return home.
But i think maybe she would have eventually.
And also even if Daemon hadn't insisted she would have folded. After this shock, after expecting and wanting to see Aemond, after thinking of him on what she thought was her last moments.....
Pleeeaaaseeee bestie. If Aemond ever finds this out . That it was HIM that was her last thought, HIM she wanted with her, HIM he expected to save her.....
Also!!!
Aemond nonchalantly playing with the babies!!???!? I dont remember if it was lil Aegon or Viserys but omg. And that was her first experience of New Aemond?
All I'm saying is that people change and grow and mature and maybe yes she did fuck off to the other side of the globe because they were 17 and he had developed an INTENSE -like everything Aemond- breeding kink BUT people make mistakes and can only admit to them when they're wrong. Thus, it is my professional literary analyst opinion that seeing him casually playing with her baby brother maybe changed her as a woman. Maybe now she gets it... In this essay i will-
bestie have i told you lately how much i LOVE your comments!!!! it fills me with joy and purpose and just sheer glowing if i blushed i'd be bright red rn!!!!
valaena's first thought when she wakes up is aemond, her first thought before sleep is aemond
PLEASE WHAT IS THE POINT OF AEMOND AND DAEMON HAVING THE SAME COLORED HAIR IF THERE'S NOT AN EMOTIONAL MIX UP??? BORN OF PANIC AND DANGER AND PURE WANT???
valaena been living on the edge for so long, so cavalier about her own safety and life, that maybe this was enough to jolt her awake, so to speak,,, she's been wandering but now maybe she can let go enough to go back to the good things in her life
,,,,jealous protective aemond is so special and inspirational to me,,,
LISTEN BREEDING KINK MAY BE SCARY BUT HOT DADDY AEMOND??? we deserve more!!! he would be so good with kids, all scary looking but kneeling down to their level, and as the kids say,,,
#WRITE THE ESSAY BESTIE I WILL DEVOUR EVERY WORD#MY QUEEN#BLUSHING AND KICKING MY FEET FR#ask#heaven knows fic
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hi! this will perhaps seem controversial, but could you do an enemies to lovers headcanons with dex? for example, the reader could be a neverseen member who has a similar personality to keefe, who was forced to come along to terrorize sophie, and them and dex start off hating eachother but one day one saves the other, earning mutual respect, and after that they don’t try to purposely hurt eachother in fights, and then the reader joins the black swan after being betrayed, and eventually becoming dex’s s/o if it’s not too much? thanks.
-d.dizznee anon
Hello! Thanks for requesting again! You keep my mind active and I love you for it. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure about doing the Neverseen idea involving the battle, because: 1. I suck as writing battle scenes and 2. Violence irl and in fiction kind of makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I can still write enemies to lovers headcanons! I hope you like them!
I think it’s a classic academic rivals to lovers
I get the feeling that for this scenario, the s/o is Talentless.
But they don’t know for sure, cause it’s level two/one.
Now, they meet before Dex realizes that he’s a Technopath.
So at this point, they both think they’re going to end up Talentless.
But the one thing they are good at is school. Save for ability detecting, obvi.
They both have a rep for coming from “odd” families, but also for being good at school.
And neither of them like that the other is threatening their spot as “best Talentless kid”
Cause they both think that the only worth they have comes from their intelligence, so anyone who threatens that is immediately on their bad side.
When results are posted for tests, they’ll act cocky towards each other and smug if they get the better grade.
They squabble a lot, and earn a bunch of detentions
But one day, Stina Heks decides to make the reader her next target
And they try to keep a calm and collected front, but Dex can tell that they are hurting, because he knows what it’s like.
Dex is kinda livid, ngl.
Only HE gets to make fun of them, what was Stina thinking?
He pranks her by putting the balding serum in her lushberry juice.
The next day, Sophie Foster turns up Slurps and Burps, which is where reader and their parents happen to be shopping, too.
And while Soph and Edaline are speaking to Dex and Kesler, Stina and Vika storm into the shop, and Stina is bald.
Can you tell this is the scene from book one?
And Dex is there all smug cause his prank worked, and the reader notices the commotion, and sees the girl who was just calling her a freak yesterday, shriek her head off at her academic enemy.
Dex sneaks a glance at the reader, and they instantly know he did it for them.
The reader is very confused, but also very appreciative.
Why was Dexter Dizznee defending them?
Nevertheless, they hold in the giggle from watching Stina LOSE it.
And they leaves the store, with a small smile on their face.
After that, things kinda change.
They’re both very competitive still, but instead of being salty when one of them gets a lower grade than the other, they congratulate them.
They sit next to each other at lunch sometimes, with Jensi, Marella, and Sophie. And later, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz join them.
Both Dex and reader are very skeptical about those last two.
They back each other up when Sophie defends the Vackers.
But they never push it, because they’re grateful to even have friends.
Months pass, and Dex and Soph are kidnapped.
Reader is inconsolable.
They never knew how much they cared about Dex till he was gone.
Then his funeral comes around, and reader doesn’t think they’ll ever be happy again, having lost their friends.
Needless to say, they’re so overjoyed and relieved to know that they’re okay.
And Dex sees them a bit differently, having just spent weeks away from them in pain, and being confused as to why the only person he really wanted to see other than Sophie while he was barely alive was the reader.
He decides that he likes these newfound feelings.
I imagine he and the reader get together around the same time Sophie and Fitz do, ironically.
I’m sorry, I just can’t think of more ways to take this further, but let me know if you have any ideas!
#dex dizznee#kotlc#kotlc headcanons#sophie foster#fitz vacker#biana vacker#keefe sencen#marella redek#jensi babblos#ask
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you mentioned tom kinnie opinions on the nuances of his motivations about the babytrapping thing... not the same anon but i'm v curious
i might add more later bc i'm drunk rn (and therefore prob should just wait entirely to answer but. i don't want to bc ngl i was really hoping for someone to give me an excuse to answer this) but the first thing that comes to mind is, frankly, tom getting a lot closer to understanding that he's gay and accepting where his innate desires actually lie BUT still fighting off a lot of shame, and therefore he's now constructing like. more conscious Rules about sex with shiv.
see, what sticks out to me the most is him explicitly REFUSING shiv's one-on-one sexual advances, which iirc he never explicitly did before. ntm with this following the whole threesome fail and the "i'm not a hippie, shiv" argument it really seems like he's now decided to categorize any non-procreative sex as too kinky, which really fucking speaks to his anxiety around intimacy with her. if he goes full southern pastor and decides that the point of sex is procreation then he can feel justified in saying he doesn't want to have sex with her outside of that purpose - and if, say, he *conveniently* misses that window, then he has an excuse to avoid it entirely.
if nothing else it's like... for him to say that there's no point in having sex if shiv's not ovulating, yeah obviously on surface level that sounds fucked up. but it's also saying very directly that tom would not derive pleasure from sex with shiv in general. he's actually allowing himself to accept for the first time that their relationship - or at least the intimacy in their relationship - is first and foremost pragmatic. in-universe the pragmatism is at that point for having a baby (callback to logan's "can i expect an heir? or are you shooting blanks?") and bc succession is the way it is, i'd argue it also metatextually represents the greater pragmatism of, well. for lack of a better term, shiv being a beard? like shit, just in general, their relationship is NOT this raw, emotional thing at all. it seems like prior to the engagement, from shiv's pov, it was practically just business partners with benefits. they had a Plan that their formal relationship benefitted and vice versa, and tom's personal ideas of a conventional monogamous relationship were just really not all that different. they were purely his own, and purely for his own benefit, too. just in a different way. and their own individual ideas of their relationship collide in this horrible mess of attachments to mere ideas that just do not fully exist.
anyway the whole nuclear family/prison wife/baby thing imo is really just this last ditch effort to cling to stability and to the idea of being the kind of man tom thinks he's supposed to be. in effect yes it's fucked up for shiv to be on the recieving end of that, with her obviously not knowing the whole context of tom's side of things, but in intent alone i really do just see tom desperately grasping at the bare fucking bones of What Makes A Man. there's no effort to even pretend to really want/love/desire women anymore - there's this sudden, unprecedented notion of If I Can't Be A Husband Then By God I'll Be A Father. like i really think it is tom trying to shift roles in his mind. like just doing whatever's necessary to feel right. i don't think tom viewed shiv as a mere Babymaking Machine whatsoever up until the end of s3 or that he even really does - it also really just seems like one of those things where he's lashing out bc of his own hurt. consider then when they do have sex and tom switches up so seamlessly that it makes it SO clear that he's consciously just playing whatever role shiv needs... yeah.
anyway idk ya i just see it first and foremost as the one and only way that tom is able to admit, not just to shiv but to himself, that i don't really want you. it seems like just this shocking misogynistic thing on the surface (and i'm not saying that it's not that, just that it's also deeper) - but it's also imo a big fucking step toward tom understanding/accepting himself.
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Hello there! fellow gamer and looking for a new game, and see that you have pretty wide array. but the one that caught my eye was ffxiv. would you recommend that for a new player to the francise?
TL;DR:
100% would recommend
-------------------
Full rundown
Absolutely! I hadn't really ever played any of the other Final Fantasy games before playing FFXIV. I can't even remember the number of the last FF game I played, only that it was on the PS1 and had a bunch of discs lol (and I don't think I even finished it 🤣). I've played FFXIV 4,669.3 hours according to Steam.
Whether you're a Veteran to the MMORPG scene or new, 10/10 would recommend this game! The community is great. Not often do you come across the toxicity that has become commonplace in other MMO's. Though I will admit that with the WoW-exodus we started seeing a smidge more, but not a lot. Most people are pretty helpful, the Sprout system is great for beginners.
Game play is very enjoyable. Even for a casual player like myself I never seem to run out of anything to do really, and they are making things easier to solo for people that have a harder time (for any reason) playing with others.
It has an AMAZING story (I've played through from start to finish more times than I care to admit). If you're a lore lover like myself, you will love the story. The final chapter in Endwalker wrapped up the main story perfectly, but still leaves open possibilities for the future. There has only been a couple of games that have made me cry as much as this one has. From the beginning the story grabs you and you want more.
There will be times where the game will be sluggish or a slog to get through, but no game is perfect. The beginning can be rough because they are teaching you what to do and the end of A Realm Reborn can seem like it draws on forever before finally getting into Heavensward, but I promise you it is worth it. Luckily the developer's learned from their mistakes pretty well from ARR and they are constantly trying to find ways of going back and making it a better experience. The developer's do really well with listening to their player base and it shows.
You're able to play as all the classes/jobs, including crafting and gathering; so unlike other mmo's if you want to be able to have everything you don't have to make a dozen alts to do so. Speaking of alts, this game is NOT alt friendly; you cannot send your own characters any mail (so like gear, gil, materials, etc) since you have to be friended with the person you want to mail to, and you cannot add your own alts to you friend list since they have to be online to add to your friends list. Unless you have another account, of course. There are work-a-rounds to getting items to alts, just have to be a little clever. Which if you enjoy making alts to play it can be annoying, but if you want to get in the mindset of the developer's it's "why would you need alts when you can do everything on 1 character?" As someone who has everything maxed out and makes alts all the time, my hope is in the future they fix this.
Leveling is pretty easy, you don't have to really worry about doing side quests and just rely on the Main Story Questline (MSQ). And if you choose a world that has the 'Road to 80' buff (the Preferred Worlds) then you get even more exp, ngl it's easier to level multiple jobs with the 'Road to 80' buff if you don't have the MSQ to get the exp. Some of my preferred classes to start as are the Archer (that becomes the Bard) and Arcanist (that becomes the Summoner (DPS) and Scholar (Healer)); they're easiest for me to start out as. But start with the class you think you would enjoy 😁
There are a total of 19 battle classes, though some of them are level gated; for example Machinist you need to have a job to level 50 and have access to Ishgard (a Heavensward city) to learn it and it starts at level 30, Astrologian and Dark Knight are the same way. Other jobs, like Dancer and Gunbreaker can be learned once you get a job to level 60 and it starts at level 60 as well. Other level gated jobs include: Red Mage and Samurai at 50, and Sage and Reaper at 70 and they start at those respective levels. Oh, and Rogue you need a level 10.
Luckily the game has a Trial version that allows you to play through, I believe, Stormblood. The trial has it's limitations (like can't join a Free Company or whisper other players they have to write you first iirc. I can't remember all the limitations), but it's still a good way to see if you'd enjoy playing without having to pay to find out.
This was probably a longer answer than you were expecting, but I basically wanted to give enough info to help you decide.
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APOLOGIESS FOR THE LATE REPLYY (RENDERING ANON HERE AGAIN PHEW) YOURE KIDDING ME ? I LOVE LISTENING TO OFHER PEOPLE's journey and story and READING YOURS WAS KINDAA SWEET AND INSPORING IN A WAY.. i feel tge pressure to create tge perfect art and it gets to me ngl.. but reading your process and your answer about yk the whole ai art thing.. i dont see why i even i want to compare myself with that level when my own style is kinda still developimg.. youe so rite! no one can take away the process the understanding you have of the colors ... the way you see your art blooming.. even ai would terribly fail at capturing it and i think tahts why your drawinsg are just so perfect bec they hold that creative aspect .. THERE IS YOU IN THEM!! (your lamguage is not am issue i assure you trust me i am not a native eng speaker myself..) *self patss!! WE RE DOING GREATT!! )
also its nice to speak to artists here i have lile one artist to artisy comversation here except you and i enjoyy our talks!! (hope youre not too overwhlemed by work and taking caree)
Brand of personality, creativity, business👇🏻☕️💞
Please do not apologize! Life is so fast and I am also sorry that I don't always have time to respond on time! I couldn't even find the time to draw orders in the last few days, because I had a lot of other work to do.
But I am really happy from every conversation we have🌸(*´◡`*)🌸Your words are so kind that my heart breaks! This is something I will try to keep in my memory forever💖
I hope that you direct such words of support to yourself🍵🌿💗 And I want to support you as well! I have not been in your shoes and I will never know what you are going through, but I will be rooting for youଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✨
I understand how suffocating the pressure of art can be. I had to reach the peak of my nerves to start being calmer and more rational about it. And even now, if I don't have a job at some point, I can panic. (Although in recent months, thanks to all my clients, my panic is pleasant and only because I'm not in time. You are the best!)
I will try to entertain you and maybe you will be interested. I follow the illustrator Alexandra Dikaia and she has always emphasized the importance of authenticity in illustrations, taught how to create own brand of personality and thus realize myself. I'm still a bad student who never finishes her homework, haha. But I come back to them when I get "lost". Everything has its time. Now, because of the war, she was forced to move to England and met Professor Gordon Hamme. He is the author of the practical course "How to build a craft business" (How to create a business for creatives). I haven't had the opportunity to buy this book yet to review it, but the recommendations say it's a great book to look at creative business from both the personal brand and business side. It sounds like a lot of fun. And it helps to look at art not only as something unattainable, but also as something that can work and how it can work. I would also like to create my own merchandise store someday, because I love it when illustrations become practical objects. Oh, dream…
I'm still fascinated to see that someone has my drawing hanging in their home or as their avatar or something! Friends, if you ever send me a photo of your room with my drawing on it, you should know that this photo will remain in my phone forever. Haha.
О! And if anyone has any recommendations for interesting and useful literature for creative people, please share, I'd love to read it and maybe someone else will find it useful too.
Thank you again for this message! Take care of yourself and have a good rest, I always enjoy talking to you! See you soon☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu
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had several unkind and unpleasant revelations yesternight, i’ve managed to push every single one away from me, ngl it certainly is lonely however in some deranged manner it brings me great amount of peace. almost as though i’m at that point of my life where i literally have nothing to lose.
petrified.perplexed.perturbed.
so I just got done with watching the first episode of uncoupled, i must say: yikes! So all in all nothing is guaranteed innit? anyone could switch up on you any second, super unprecedented and you know what’s sadder? you try your level best to continue making them happy and have the utmost best memories with them whilst they’re just plotting out or devising their escape from you. giving up, without any damn consideration regarding what tf happens to you. I know for a fact that me ghosting on several people is going to come back and bite me in my ass, especially when I’d least expect it.
don't you detest it when your favorite persons keep becoming incessant life lessons? apparently there's no closure and as I had already established this early on, “closure is overrated and the disrespect is closure enough”. I'm feeling all sorts of unsettling feelings, thoughts and opinions to a degree where I feel way more than just overwhelmed, yes even overwhelmed is not expressing the amount of whelmed I am. i’m engulfed in this dreadfulness. I'd better commence gatekeeping myself from now on because no one is safe out there, not in the straight world not in the gay world, no where. mad cutthroat.
control issues.
highkey sucks that i’ve no control over such situations whatsofknever, although preventive measures are in play. you learn and implement, if you learn and get yourself familiarized with the concepts and paradigms but don’t ever put those skills to some good use, what’s even the point? that’s simply an awful amount of waste.
SUS.
I get so so sus, ever since i’ve stopped socializing. anytime someone texts me i’m automatically vexed. I feel as though they’ve always got a underlying reasoning for their beckoning. i trust my trust issues now. not a lovely place to be in but here i am.
I expected my first ever ink to be sum’n empowering but I guess my first ink should be a reminder of my weakness and what makes me weak is “love” makes me severely debilitated. i need a reminder for “NOT a hopeless romantic anymore”, wasted my teens/ young adulthood in those horrendous imprudent acts. fuck.
my heart is mute, at last. he/she, no wait, they is not speaking no more. i reckon few of the muffled cries and sharp pains but eyes are too dried up to even coordinate with it? goodness, i’m relieved however still working on my handful of Ls. I need to initially deal with it and then heal from it. and yeah to reiterate, heart? SHUT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK UP, ik you’re not saying anything rn but j in case. don’t get any crazy ideas yo.
thank you, have a nice day!
#rant and/or vent#<\3#feelings gone threw my heart out the window#post heartbreak glow up *rubs hands together* eager#🧠>>>🫀#mood#2022
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our flag means death + tumblr text posts I have on my phone (pt. 5/?)
part 1 ; part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4 ; part 6 ; part 7 ; part 8; part 9; part 10
#I AM ON A ROLL#hi gays how are you doing on this fine day#yes im still on this#the masses approved and who am i to disappoint?#i have a cold actually but alas im convinced im indestructible#last one speaks to me on a personal level ngl#hope you're still enjoying this format bc i have * drum rolls * another one in the draft#AND another one#queer pirates my beloved#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meme#ofmd blackbeard#ofmd stede#blackbonnet#blackstede#stedebeard#ofmd mary#ofmd buttons#ofmd izzy#ofmd jim#ofmd crew#my meme#my screenshots#tumblr text post#user purrvaire
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