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wylanslcve · 28 days

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So if you've been following me on Instagram you would have seen me say recently that I've decided to take a step back from posting/sharing/creating Grishaverse content due to what Leigh Bardugo said (or rather what she didn't say) about the situation in Palestine. For context, during the press tour for The Familiar, an audience member asked Leigh about the justification for non-BIPOC authors profiting off BIPOC stories yet not advocating for real-life BIPOC people (since Leigh has been silent on Palestine since October, despite having expressed solidarity with Palestine in the past).

The video (which you can watch here) has been circulating the internet for a while, and I've already spoken about this on Instagram. I just forgot I had Tumblr for a second there, hence why I'm only addressing this now despite having already spoken about this. However, as someone who has an entire online presence dedicated to Leigh's work, it would be wrong and rather hypocritical of me to not address this.

Disclaimer: This is not a conversation about whether or not white/white-passing authors should be allowed to write BIPOC stories, as many people both in the comments of the original video and online generally have taken it. The issue isn't that Leigh is writing BIPOC stories - it's that she's writing them and choosing not to advocate for real BIPOC people.

The audience member asked a confronting but necessary question, and isn't harassing Leigh as many people online have interpreted it. Holding your favourite people accountable isn't "harassment", especially when that person is a successful author profiting off stories that reflect issues in the real world. Art is inherently political whether or not you want to acknowledge it. This also isn't about specifically asking Leigh this question because she's Jewish - it's because she profits off these stories and yet when these exact same issues are prevalent in the real world, suddenly they're "too political" for her to speak up about despite having expressed solidarity in the past. It has nothing to do with her being Jewish.

However, what's going on in Palestine isn't a political issue. It's basic human rights. It's about humanity, and acting as if posting about this issue is "performative" is ridiculous. I don't know what she's doing behind the scenes, so I'm not going to act as if she isn't doing anything outside of social media because I simply don't know, but when you have an online presence as big as Leigh's you should be using that platform to raise awareness and express solidarity. I understand that it's very easy to come across as "performing activism", especially on social media, but Palestinians have asked us time and time again to use our platforms to help raise awareness and amplify their voices. When you're someone like Leigh who profits off stories of the trials and tribulations of BIPOC people, the very least you can do is talk about the atrocities being committed against BIPOC people in real life.

No one is expecting you to be an expert on what's going on. If you've previously posted misinformation, why not learn from it and actually educate yourself and do better? You're literally an author who profits off stories of colonialism, oppression, dissemination, apartheid, segregation and genocide and suddenly that happening in real life is "too political"? And the amount of privilege you have to not want to get involved in talking about a real-life genocide because you "stopped being political on Instagram" is laughable. Just feeling sad about it isn't going to do anything. It doesn't erase the fact that an entire people are being ethnically cleansed in a genocide you refuse to talk about.

The Grishaverse means so much to me, it's gotten me through some extremely tough periods of my life, but I cannot in good conscience continue to support an author who chooses silence over her own humanity. All she had to say in response to that question was "free Palestine", but she instead said something akin to "I know about what's going on and I know silence and feeling sad about it probably isn't enough, but I'm just not going to do anything about it". Again, I know she's advocated for Palestine in the past, but why not continue doing so? No one is stopping her - she's actively chosen to stop.

As for my accounts? I'm still deciding what to do with them. I won't be deleting them, I'm not going anywhere, but I won't be posting edits or sharing analyses or general posts about the Grishaverse until Leigh decides to do better. This blog will probably turn into a multifandom blog, but who knows at this point. All I know is that I won't be promoting Leigh's work.

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fangirlfreak08 · 7 months

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‘I would have taken the city apart to find you’ is giving ‘to hell with revenge, to hell with his schemes. If Rollins had done something to Inej, Kaz would pain East Stave with his entrails’

#bren just gives off Kaz brekker #and I love that #i only read the first book cause someone said it was kanej coded #it has not disappointed #also Rae is incredibly Inej coded #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #a darkness at the door #the theft of sunlight

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whumpypepsigal · 1 year

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Shadow and Bone s02e03: Working through physical trepidations, Kaz tries his best to help inej with her wound.

“The room was too bright. His chest felt like a clenched fist. …He pressed two fingers together. He slid them beneath the bandage. Everything in him recoiled. The water was cold against his legs. His body had gone numb and yet he could still feel the wet give of his brother’s rotting flesh beneath his hands. It’s shame that eats men whole. He was drowning in it. Drowning in the Ketterdam harbor. His eyes blurred.”

Excerpt From Crooked Kingdom, Leigh Bardugo

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bitchthefuck1 · 1 year

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The 2022 tumblr fandom ship list saying kanej is from Shadow and Bone is my villain origin story

#the disrespect #disappointed but not surprised #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #anti shadow and bone #s&b #anti s&b #kanej #inej ghafa #kaz brekker

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romantichopelessly · 1 year

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no because you’re telling me that Jesper and Nina were present for Kaz’s final confrontation with Rollins, where he discusses his past and NEITHER of them talked to him about it later?

sure, Nina barely knows him here. I can get that. But Jesper? His best friend Jesper? Nosy Jesper?

But of course, why would they spend time on a scene between Kaz and Jesper, one of the most interesting dynamics in the series, if there wasn’t some romantic undertone. Obviously Kaz can only have solo scenes with Inej and Jesper can only have solo scenes with Wylan.

#this show was such a good opportunity to explore the other dynamics within the crows #and they did a good job with Kaz & Nina. and had a couple good moments with Kaz & Wylan.#but not Jes??? really???? there was episode one and that was it. it’s honestly rly disappointing #they’re so willing to go off book with SaB but cannot fathom scenes between the crows that aren’t rearranged and picked from the books #sab s2 #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #grishaverse #six of crows #sab #soc #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #nina zenik #inej ghafa #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #the more I think abt this season the more holes I poke in it

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maidenofcrows · 6 months

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Reading the essays of Samual Johnson and it’s kind of entertaining to be looking his definition of an ideal protagonist as a SoC fan. I’m paraphrasing, but he’s like, “A leading character should be virtuous. Not so virtuous that it’s unrealistic, but a character of good moral standing.” And I just don’t think he’d appreciate Kaz Brekker.

#furthermore he thinks readers should be disgusted by a main character’s vices and I’m here like hahahahahahahahaha #sorry to disappoint #six of crows #kaz brekker #grishaverse #leigh bardugo

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rapha-reads · 1 year

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Two thirds into the last episode of Shadow and Bone season 2 and I have one and only one question :

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Seriously, no. What the fuck is happening?????????????

Why are they pulling a Lauren Hirsch NOW after 6 solid episodes????

Episodes 1 to 6 made sense. They were good, coherent, fun and still true enough to Canon to be enjoyable.

Episoded 7 and 8 just threw out the entire saintsforsaken script out of the window and decided to go full AU, with some elements kept, some elements completely discarded and others moved around to early or to late in the timeline.

And I don't like it. It changes too much. It's not enjoyable anymore, not in the sense that the episode isn't entertaining to watch (I'm finally getting some Matthias screentime), but in the sense that it closes too many doors to tell future stories. It doesn't make sense, both inside the canon story, and inside the two-degrees-to-the-left alternate version thry had started to tell. The same way Lauren Hirsch fucked up The Witcher by completely changing the characters' personal timelines and the events of the story, the SaB team ft Bardugo also changed too much.

Yeah, if they had actually stopped season 2 at episode 6, and then kept following the events of the Ruin and Rising book with some prequel Six of Crows stuff, and made them into a 3rd season, it would have made more sense. And then give us the Six of Crows spin-off standalone show. (I demand an actual 6oC show, that actually follows the books, thanks)

Again, this is just my (and apparently the others too) opinion as a book-reader. I do wonder if none bookreaders who went into the show without knowing anything feel about season 2? Are you guys liking it, is it objectively good when one stops trying to reunite show with book?

Also they need to stop pushing Nikolai/Alina and Inej/Tolya, especially that second one, DO NOT BREAK KANEJ OR I WILL BURN YOU DOWN. And freaking give us Zoyalai ya cowards.

Okaaaaaay, as I was composing my review, I reached the end, and... the end of the episode makes as much bloody (see what I did there) sense as the beginning, that is to say: NONE.

STOP TRYING TO RUSH THE PLOT. The advantage of TV show is that you can take the time to establish your characters and your timeline of events. Stop. Trying. To. Make. Everything. Happen. At. The. Same. Time. Show is not movie!!!!! I'm getting upset now. Ugh. What a letdown. And it had started well.

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noyoucannotpushthevoid · 1 year

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Six of Crows Characters as DnD Characters: now complete with backgrounds!

Tired, on my sleep meds me better fucking appreciate that I can remember the idea I had

We'll go from easiest to hardest to parse (as if any of them were hard to figure out. They're fantasy characters, they were all but made to be categorized this way lol /hj)*

Kaz Brekker: A Mastermind Rogue with the Urchin Background Do I really need to elaborate? He is the large rat that makes all of the rules... He makes the plans; he's hard to get a jump on; he can sleight of hand like nobody's business. When his allies are near and acting as distractions, he can deal epic sneak attack damage. He's quiet on his feet. CRIME

Jesper Fahey**: Gunsliger Fighter with the Gambler Background Again, fairly self-explanatory. He has guns, but he's not really a crafter of guns***. There is an argument for a different background****; I am not going to entertain it here. Gambler, though his background is still a vital part of his character*****; It's more so than any education or criminal activity he's done.

Matthais Helver+: Beast Master Ranger that multiclasses into an Oathbreaker Paladin with the Zealot Background Arguably the worst class for my (second) least favorite character (of the ones covered in this post, though I'll happily do one of these for the villians/antagonists)++. Starts as a Beast Master Ranger, because of his wolf. Though he very quickly multiclasses into Paladin, but by the time he gets a subclass in that class he has to take Oathbreaker+++. Zealot is self-explainitory, the only other Background I would entertain is if there was an Occultist one (which there probably is, but Zealot is still the more apt option).

Inej Ghafa++++: Soulknife Rogue with the Entertainer Background (her routine specifically being Acrobat, which I don't see as an option, but I'm making an option right now) I can see the argument for Monk or Paladin+++++, but it's the stealth that really cements her as a Rogue. And it's the same deal as Kaz when it comes to canon sneak attacks. While Scout or Assassin could work well as her subclass, maybe even be more on track that Soulknife, I have to go with Soulknife. Like Jesper's gambling that just makes the Gambling Background more fitting than any other, Inej's knives are an integral part of her character. They are the only weapons she uses. So why don't we give her infinite knives? As well as, the fact they are psychic can be flavored to fit into the fact that she is a very religious character who links her knives to her religion by naming each one after one of her saints. Finally, the Entertainer Background. Criminal is a cop-out. Outlanders tend to be solo. Pirate can't count because that's the future.

Wylan Van Sunshine /s^: Bard that multiclasses into an Artillerist Artficier^^ with the Noble Background He doesn't take enough levels in Bard to get a subclass. He probably took 2, decided he disliked it, but his DM wouldn't let him just reflavor the whole character so he multiclassed as fast as he fucking could. Artificer, need I say more? Artillerist because, "An Artillerist specializes in using magic to hurl energy, projectiles, and explosions on a battlefield". Bomb. I rest my case. He was a "noble" like 3 months ago or so, though it should definitely be flavored as like a disgraced noble or something. Homebrew I guess. It took me a while to get here, but once the ball got rolling there was no stopping it. His character just fell into perfect place.

Kuwei Yul-Bo: Pyromancy Sorcerer with the Inheritor Background Again, a class I dislike for a character I dislike. He was very boring to me, very useless despite being at the heart of both books' plots. I literally forgot about him for the majority of Crooked Kingdom. He reminds me of a pc from the last campaign I dmed for a specific group. The player was barely there, and when he was, refused to do anything. I'm not a fan of magic classes if you can tell, but the only thing I truly remember about Kuwei is some inherent link to fire. Thus the idea for Kuwei the Pyromancy Sorcerer was born. He's a Sorcerer and has the Inheritor background for the same reason: his father. He became valuable when he inherited his father's work.

Last but not least, Nina Zenik: A Way of Mercy Monk who multiclasses into an Order of the Ghostslayer Blood Hunter with the Cloistered Scholar Background Originally she was only going to be a Blood Hunter, but then I remembered a character of mine who's a Way of Mercy Monk and how they get this dual ability to both heal and harm. This felt very apt for Nina as a Heartrender, and how she uses her abilities throughout, particularly book one. She multiclasses at the end of that book specifically lol. While I am a diehard fan of the Order of the Lycan and just the absolute range of horror that can come from it, Order of the Ghostslayer is much much more accurate to Nina's abilities. Her abilities after parem are still her old ones, just mutated and screwy. Which, what is a Blood Hunter if not someone whose abilities have become warped and fucked up? Blood Hunters in general are very akin to Heartrenders in my opinion as both can take a physical toll on the user. As well as both deal heavily with the body and utilizing/fucking with its various parts. Ghostslayers are the oldest, historically, order of Blood Hunters, which in combination with the previous sentence makes it perfect for Nina as she has her roots in a very old type of magic. Ghostslayers also focus on fighting the undead, which is another link to her new abilities as Blood Hunters are deeply connected to that which they hunt, so her being able to utilize the dead but them also being her sworn enemy is fitting. Finally, she gets her background from the fact that she was raised, secluded away, in the Little Palace, effectively just studying her craft.

I'm glad to see I got more in-depth, therefore unhinged, as this went on.

*It's been a while since I read the books, pardon any inaccuracies **He was the first one to come to mind lol ***This will come back when we discuss Wylan and how their skills complement each other ****One of the ones that has to do with being a student. Or like criminal, but that's a fucking cop-out, ALL of these motherfuckers (besides Wylan and Kuwei, whom I will be including solely because I did have an idea for him) could have the criminal background *****If this were Hunter the Vigil it'd be his Vice +Surprisingly easy ++I've heard the arguments in his favor, everyone else is just naturally better than him in terms of me liking them +++These guys aren't that old lol ++++She surprisingly took some thinking when it came to a subclass +++++If you know more about Paladins and would like to make an argument, I'd love to hear it, the only Paladin I've played is a pathetic and useless excuse for one (on purpose) ^My beloved little bastard. Everyone infantilizing him or disregarding his sarcasm and willingness to make literal bombs can fight me in a game of Zombie Dice (I am not strong, me and Wylan are premium members of the Scrawny Club) ^^This is what I meant about his and Jesper's abilities complementing each other. Unlike Kaz and Inej who are cut from the same cloth, or-as you'll learn-Nina and Matthais who are effectively 2 sides of the same coin, they really build on each other

#dnd #six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #nina zenik #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #matthais helvar #I cannot spell Mr. Helver's name.#I should specify #the books #i've never watched the TV show #This became mostly asides...I'm a bit disappointed in myself smh /hj

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redamancyys · 1 year

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All Around Me - Kaz Brekker

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, oral (fem recieving), cursing, unedited.

WORDS ◆ 3.7k

REQUEST(S) ◆ based off of this request, though i did stray a little. basically kaz and the reader have sex for the first time!

AUTHOR'S NOTE ◆ sooooo this ended up being a lot steamy-er than i intended, but i hope that you enjoy it, because i definitely liked writing this one!

To say that the desire was eating you both up from the inside was an understatement.

Kaz had never wanted a person the way that he wanted you. It was a raw, carnal desire that came from deep within him. He had never been a person who ached for touch until he met you, he wished that he was able to be the man that could grab you by your hips without spiraling into a panic, or could kiss you for as long as you wanted without having to take a break because his internal thoughts were becoming too much to handle.

You would always explain to him that it wasn’t his fault.

Hushed whispers, your hands placed ever so carefully on his clothed body, trying to keep him grounded whenever the aversion got too bad. You had seen him at his worst, where he had to put his head in between his knees in order to stop the flashbacks from coming back to him. Though sometimes no matter how hard you tried, Kaz would morph back into that little boy again, feeling his brother's dead motionless flesh against his own as he floated back ashore. He would feel alone, no matter how much you tried to explain that you were here, he didn’t have to worry, he wasn’t there, he was safe.

And what was even worse, he felt like he was somehow disappointing you. He was with you, but you couldn’t even touch his bare skin without him spiraling into a mess. No matter how many times you explained that you were there for him, that you were always going to make sure that he was okay, there was still a piece of him that wished he was different. But Kaz’s wishes never came true, it would never magically go away. He had to face this head on if he was ever going to be able to properly love you, and for you, he was willing to try anything.

That had been a few months ago, and since then the two of you had worked very hard to overcome his aversion. You went slow, placing bare hands against each other, small kisses, anything that you could think of that would be enough to help but also just enough to not make Kaz feel uncomfortable. It had gotten to the point where you two were able to cuddle with one another, his hands could go up and down your spine and paint small drawings on the skin of your arm and legs. And you could do the same towards him. After a while, you both were able to take your tops off, explore those parts of your bodies, and every time you went farther, the desire began to creep its way into both of your chests. Both of you were aware what the next step was, you both weren’t dumb, but neither of you had the inclination to talk about it. It was like the two of you were dancing around the conversation, doing everything that you could to not bring it up.

Wylan and Jesper were always talking about it. Well, that was a lie, Jesper was usually the one that would talk about it with you. He always talked about the pining, the excitement of getting to explore your lover's body . . . it was something that you wanted but had never experienced before and before you knew it, you were sitting on your shared bed with Kaz, trying to concentrate on a book while he did his paperwork at his desk. You took a moment to stare at him, watching as his hands pressed against the paper, quill etching sounds into the silence between the both of you. You took your bottom lip into your teeth, sucking in a harsh breath. You could do this.

“Kaz, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

You could’ve gone about it a different way, because the moment Kaz stopped what he was doing and turned to face you, there was a hint of worry in his expression. Most of the time when a person told another that they had to talk to them about something, it was bad news, and you were quick to assure him that it was nothing of the sort. “Nothing bad, I promise. I just wanted to bring an idea up to you.” His face immediately softened, one that you knew he didn’t share with many. You took a moment to study his expressive eyes, your own going from them to his lips, the ones that you wished were kissing the delicate skin on your body. Giving him a tiny smile, you said, “I wanted to see what you . . . thought about having sex with me? We’ve been getting to that point for a while now and I just thought that it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you wanted to go all the way?”

This was definitely something that he wasn’t expecting to come out of his mouth, especially because of the unspoken barrier between the both of you when it came to talking about these types of things. Of course he wanted to, saints, if he could he would take you right then and there but you and him knew that it would take a lot more mental preparation on his end for this to happen. And perhaps for a moment you thought that you had struck a nerve with him, that he would dismiss the idea and you would leave to compose yourself, but that was far from the truth. Instead he set down the quill and turned to face you completely, his gloved hands playing with one another as an attempt to ground. You didn’t move, eyes attentively staring, waiting for him to say something. Kaz eventually opened his mouth to say, “Of course I want to have sex with you.” He said it as though you were dumb thinking that he wasn’t, but you knew that this was his way of trying to guard himself from the actual thoughts that came into his head. “I think I just need a little time to prepare first-” “Yes! I know, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable first,” You cut him off, not wanting him to think that you were going to pressure him.

Soon enough you two were discussing the logistics, almost as if you were scheduling a business meeting of a sort. It made you chuckle at first, but as the days went by, closer to the date that the two of you planned to finally go the final step, your nerves began to jumble up.

You sat down at the edge of his bed, very reminiscent of a few days ago when you popped the question, but instead of Kaz sitting at his desk, he was sitting beside you. His breathing was slightly rigid, he was nervous which you completely understood. In order to comfort him, you placed your hand on his gloved one, looking at him with a look of kindness in an attempt to show him that you were nervous too.

“I love you,” You said to him.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

One finger at a time, you began to pull his gloves off of his hand, and then the other one, setting the pair onto the bedside table. You held one of his hands with yours while the other one made its way to the back of his neck, pressing soft kisses to his lips. Kaz responded by putting his hand on your waist, eagerly kissing you back. He pulled you closer to him, until you got the idea of straddling his waist, legs on either side of him as you sat on his lap. This kissing went on for a while, semi for comfort but also for pleasure, as you knew that you would never get tired of kissing Kaz Brekker. His lips tasted like honeyed tea and you relished in the notion that you would be the only one who ever got to taste such a sweet thing.

You were still sitting on his thighs and you needed him more than ever now. That familiar feeling that bubbled up inside of you whenever you two got this far began to resurface, causing the kissing to become even more fast paced, filled with want and need. Though the most enjoyable part was that the two of you were having fun, taking moments to stop and admire one another. For a moment a sly smile came across his lips and you wiped it away with a kiss, going back to the fast pace that had been set before. Your hands came and tentatively went under his shirt, feeling the taut skin of his chest with calm and courteous fingers, not wanting to upset him, though clearly beginning to fog up the idea of being gentle. The thought of him above you with a body like that? It made you falter in your movements. He was beautiful, and you were sure that you would never allow him to forget it.

Using the break in your concentration to his advantage, Kaz began mouthing along your skin, knowing that your neck was sensitive in a multitude of places and skimming your skin with his teeth ever so gently, hands pulling up your shirt above your head. His eyes scanned your body, raising an eyebrow. “No bra?” He asked, making you shy away and look anywhere but at his face. You didn’t reply, but he seemed to not like that. His hand came and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. You gave a small smile, “I wanted to be comfy.” He hummed, somewhat disappointed in your answer but not disappointed at how compliant you seemed to be with him. Kaz went back to kissing your neck, teeth grazing along your soft skin, making you jump whenever he bit down on a particular spot.

You were beginning to grow impatient. Perhaps it was with the way that he was worshiping you, wanting to kiss every single inch of you and make you keel into his touch over and over again. Or maybe it was because no one had ever made you feel this way before. You hadn’t been with others before, never trying to get this far with the men of Ketterdam for fear of ruin or awkwardness in the morning. You had only longed for Kaz before.

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them and kneading them together, fingers coming to pinch your nipples. Your back arched into him and you almost fell over on top of him, using your hands on his muscles to stop you. You reached and decided you wanted to please him, to show him how much you wanted him. You trailed your hands under his shirt and came to the band of his pants, pushing your fingers past it and making your way down. Before you could hit his obvious hard on, one of his own hands came and grasped your wrists, pulling your hand away. You looked up, thinking that you did something wrong. Tilting your head, you gave him a silent what? Maybe you had made him uncomfortable, and he was trying to come up with a way to tell you off.

Though that didn’t seem to be the case when Kaz’s lips offered a smirk.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Kaz explained. In one movement he put his hands to your back and flipped you two over, him now on top of you. Your head hit the mattress with a small humph and wondered what he had in store for you.

You worked with him to shimmy your pants and panties off, throwing them to some side of the room. His hands splayed against your thighs and you watched with an open mouth to see what he was going to do. He gave you a look, a familiar one that reminded you that you were actually here with him, no one else, the two of you were doing this amazing thing together. Your heart swelled with adoration as you thought that this was the man that you loved, the one that you trusted more than anyone else in the entire world. You were also well aware of the slick that was beginning to coat your thighs, body betraying you and showing him how much you wanted him, how you ached for him. Kaz seemed to like it though, bringing his flesh hand to your slit and scooping some of it up. When he brought his hand back up, you could see the way that it glistened on his skin, popping a finger into his mouth and humming sinfully at the taste. He did it again and again, humming every single time your arousal hit his tongue. You looked down with heated cheeks, feeling a little embarrassed that you were getting so worked up over something so small. “You taste . . .” He trailed off, bringing his tongue to your folds and swiping up from your hole to your clit. “Amazing.”

“It’s all for you,” You said, wiggling your hips and urging him to pleasure you again. Kaz smirked, feeling a sense of pride wash over him at your words. He brought a finger to you and pushed it in, watching your mouth open into a wide ‘O’ at the feeling. He curled it up, making your muscles tighten around him. Kaz built a steady pace and he came back up to your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek sweetly as if he couldn’t hear the lewd sounds that were being created when he added a second finger in.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” He said, towering over you. His thumb rubbed against your clit while his fingers fucked into you. “To see you under me like this.” The both of you seemed to have this desire for each other for the longest time.

You moaned out at his words, thighs clenching around his hand to keep him there. You couldn’t respond, too busy thinking about the steady fire that was building in you. You reached to climb higher, hoping he would grant you some kind of release. He didn’t give it to you though. Instead, whenever you were getting to that tipping point, he would stop all of his movements altogether until you stopped shaking, then repeat the process over and over again. It was making you go crazy, how he had the power to push you towards release but he just wouldn’t do it.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t. As if to test you further, he pushed a third finger into you, making you moan out his name loud and roll your eyes to the back of your skull. His thumb kept rubbing languid circles on your clit. You thought if you stayed quiet you could sneak an orgasm, cut him off guard. But as if he heard your thoughts, his movements stalled and he put his other hand firmly on your hips so you couldn’t even move against his statue-like hand. His dark eyes bore into your own and you squeezed around his fingers. “You make me feel so good, Kaz.” The praise fell from your lips with ease, lava pooling in your stomach as if threatening to burst at any moment. If only he would just rub a little bit more . . .

He pulled his hand away from you. Kaz didn’t even respond to your statement and you wondered if you said something wrong, if he had enough. And he had enough all right, but not enough of you. He wanted to see you cum, just around his cock and not his fingers. But you couldn’t hear what he was thinking, which made you whimper when he pulled himself away fully, standing at the edge of the bed. You opened your legs up to him, the farthest that you could go without hurting yourself and hoping that it would make him come back to you quickly. Your clit was aching from several denied orgasms, almost thinking about pulling your hand down to finish yourself off, though deciding against it when knowing Kaz would never allow something like that. He liked seeing you writhing like this.

Kaz’s hands shed all his clothing. He wasn’t exactly putting on a show for you but you marveled anyways, watching the way that his muscles flexed when his shirt came off and how you wanted to lick all around his abdominal region and make your way all down to his cock, which was pressed against his stomach and slightly glistening with precum. It was big and felt your insides clench just thinking about it sliding into you. Once he was satisfied with his clothing off, he came back down to the bed and kneeled between your spread legs.

“Kaz,” You whispered. “Please.”

There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and it took all of your strength to not roll your eyes. “What do you want me to do to you?” Of course he wanted to hear you say it, to announce what he was inevitably going to do. You couldn’t ignore the way you loved how controlling he was with you, how he ordered you to do some things. And as much as you hated that he didn’t let you cum, you also loved how he would make you cum when he wanted you to, not you. He took his cock into his hands and rubbed the tip against your glistening folds, teasing you in the most sinful way possible.

“Please . . . Fuck me Kaz. Make me cum, I can’t take it anymore.” You just wanted him inside of you so badly, you were going to scream if this went on for any longer. He was right there, denying you both the pleasure. With a nod of his head, he pushed into you in one fluid motion. The feeling of him bottoming out inside of you made you grip onto his bicep, pulling him close so his warm chest was against your own again. He wasted no time moving, the sound of it deliciously sweet in your ears. Kaz took your legs and pushed them upwards, your feet hanging off of his shoulders and pressing your thighs further up until they were almost hitting the mattress. The change in position had you crying out, feeling him hit deeper inside of you.

You could feel every single scrape of his cock against your walls, increasing that fire in your stomach until you were sure you were about to cum. He kept at it with such loyalty and vigor, his motivation to make you feel the best you ever had fuelling him to a tenfold. He was such a devoted man to begin with, so you should’ve known that he would handle things the same way in bed.

You squeezed around him. “Please,” You whimpered.

“Go ahead.” Those two words were all you needed, allowing yourself to scream out as your orgasm ripped through you, built up again and again and now it was finally here and it was amazing. It rippled through you like shockwaves, and made you go limp under him, legs completely boneless. Kaz didn’t let up as he rode through your orgasm, keeping the same pace with you. He was unforgiving, not giving you time to adjust and instantly making you feel the feeling of overstimulation. You were so sensitive to his cock ramming in and out of you that you could feel a second orgasm already building up. The tip of him hit a particularly nice spot in you and you yelled, curling your toes and your hands came to tangle and grip in his hair. You almost stopped for a moment thinking that you were hurting him, but when you looked at his face, you saw only fucked out bliss, white incisors showing in a ravenous grin. His eyes opened and they were almost fully dark, making you shiver.

“You feel so good,” He mumbled, as though he was talking to himself. He was completely thrown into the pleasure that you were giving him, hot and warm and just perfect , like you were made for his cock to be rammed into over and over again. “Made for me, all for me.” He used your past words, them never losing their meaning no matter how many times he muttered under his breath.

Time seemed to slow and grow faster at the same time, the whole room disappearing as both of you focused on only each other. You weren’t sure how many times he had made you cum at this point, you took whatever he gave you and took it well. When you got enough strength to crane your neck down, you watched as your hole enveloped his cock, it coming back out slicked with the remnants of your past orgasms. Kaz saw where your eyesight was and a sense of pride washed over him again. “Do you like watching that? Seeing how well you take me?” He asked, egging you on. His hand went to grab your own and placed it on your lower abdomen, and you could feel the skin slightly raising up every time he went into you. You could see it too, sliding in and out. Though, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, his movements were beginning to falter. He was becoming more sloppy with his hips and you knew he was about to cum. So, to give him what he had worked for, you wiggled your hips up, matching his hips. Your oversensitive clit rubbed against the base of his cock and you were clenching around him, and as if on cue, you were cumming again, feeling weak under him. Kaz wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, his cock splitting you open until he was spilling inside of you.

The moans that left his mouth were probably the hottest things you had ever felt in your life. You could feel his cum dripping down his cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the soiled sheets. He put you down on the bed and followed you, eyes watching your own and kissing your sweaty forehead. He finally stopped moving and stilled inside, not wanting to leave you. He didn’t want to leave this moment and neither did you.

#kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker #six of crows fanfiction #six of crows fanfic #six of crows #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #grishaverse fanfiction #grishaverse

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swanimagines · 3 months

Text

WALLS | KAZ BREKKER

Summary: Kaz has been closed off in your relationship from the very start, and you trying to talk about it makes him shut off. But there's always the next day.

You and Kaz had been dating for a while - you thought you knew what you signed up for when you asked Kaz if he’d like to be your boyfriend and he warned you about not being able to be a boyfriend you see on the streets. But even after months, he was still just as closed off as he was when you started dating, and you decided to take it up on the table.

“Kaz?”

He glanced up to you briefly from the table, still writing his notes to his plans. “Hm?”

You swallowed, trying to figure out the words. “I… um, I feel like our relationship is one-sided.”

Kaz paused for a moment, slowly lifting his eyes to you and narrowing his eyes slightly. “What do you mean, one-sided?”

“I mean,” you started, thinking over your words again. “I feel like I’ve been opening up to you, I’ve shared my thoughts with you, my feelings, but you haven’t. I… I know it’s hard for you, I do, but it still feels like there’s a… wall in between us?”

Kaz took in a deep breath, his eyes going back on the blueprint. "You knew what I was like before we got together," he then said. "I never promised you a fairytale romance."

"I know, and I accepted that," you replied, trying to keep frustration off your voice. "But that doesn't mean I don’t have needs in this relationship too. I can't keep pouring my heart out while you keep most of yourself locked away. It's exhausting."

Kaz let out a sigh, his shoulders tensing up. "I’ve let you see a side of myself most people will never see. You said it will be enough. What else would you want from me?"

You sighed. “To let me get closer to you. For you to trust me enough to let me see beyond that wall of yours. I want to be there for you, but I can’t do that unless you let me close.”

Kaz took in a deep breath, his nostrils flaring. “I can’t change overnight just because you demand it.”

“I’m not asking you to–”

Kaz interrupted you. “This is who I am and if you can’t bear that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”

Your eyes widened at that, and you quickly shook your head. “No, Kaz, don’t say that.”

“You’re just a distraction I won’t be able to have right now,” Kaz retorted, tracing his finger along the blueprint.

You fell silent for a moment, his words echoing in your ears.

Distraction.

“Distraction? Is that all that I am to you?” you whispered, swallowing.

Kaz’s jaw clenched. “That’s not what I said.”

“Well, it sure sounded like that,” you murmured, your voice breaking slightly. The next words poured out through your lips before you had time to think them over. “Maybe it’s time that you stop pretending you care about anything else than yourself and your damn heists.”

Kaz’s eyes snapped up to you, and he scoffed. “You think you understand me? You have no idea what I’ve gone through to get into this position.”

You shook your head, your hand slightly inching towards Kaz’s, but he pulled his hand away. You closed your eyes for a moment, retreating your hand too. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, but… I’m trying to understand, Kaz, but I can’t understand if you won’t let me in.”

He huffed. “Letting people in only leads to betrayal and disappointment, I learned that long ago.”

You stared at him, and then slowly stood up, the chair legs scraping against the wooden floor. “You think I’ll disappoint you?”

"You're naive if you think this could ever work," Kaz said, clenching his hands to fists, the leather creaking from the pressure. "I don't have time for distractions, and you'll only end up getting hurt."

That was it. Your tears started spilling, and you looked up at the roof before you willed yourself to look at Kaz again, who had lowered his gaze back to the blueprint. You scoffed at how he didn’t even look at you.

"Fine," you choked out. "If that's how you feel, then maybe you're right. Maybe I am just a distraction to you, and maybe we shouldn’t be together."

Kaz lifted his gaze again but you had already turned your back to him, marching towards his office door. He tried to force himself to call after you, but instead, he just stared as you slammed the door closed.

The sound of the door slamming echoed around his office, and he let out a silent groan, listening to your fading footsteps going down the stairs. You’d probably stay the night at someone else’s room at the Slat, you had looked way too angry to sleep next to his bed tonight.

Sure enough, when Kaz made his way to the Slat some hours later, you were nowhere to be seen in your shared room at the attic. He stood there for a moment, before shedding off his coat and started preparing for the bed, soon finding himself under his black sheets. He glanced towards your bed, as if to hope you’d magically appear there, but as you hadn’t, he turned off the oil lamp and turned to his side, closing his eyes.

—

Horse hooves on the stoned street made Kaz stir awake, the dim sunlight through the thick clouds lighting up his room. He opened his eyes and turned - and saw you sleeping in your bed. Your back was towards him, he had no idea if you were awake or still asleep, and Kaz knew he’d rather not find out whether you were still as angry as yesterday. He knew he should talk to you once you’d wake up, and he should also get up from the bed - but his Dirtyhands side was strongly against it.

Dirtyhands did not apologise.

But in this case, maybe Kaz Brekker should let Kaz Rietveld in with you.

With a sigh, he stood up and went to his wardrobe, changing off his pyjamas. He was buttoning up his waistcoat when he heard you groan and stir, the sheets rustling as you brought your hand up to rub your eyes.

Kaz turned to look at you, but you hadn’t yet noticed him standing there. He debated whether he should speak up or wait until you were fully awake, but then you sat up as you yawned. Your eyes finally met his, and you froze.

The room turned quiet for a moment, the weight of tension filling the room. Both of you just stared at each other, things said the previous day weighing down on you - both of you being unsure if you meant what you said to each other.

Kaz took in a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “I shouldn’t have said those things, I should have listened to you. It was wrong of me to dismiss your feelings like that.”

You frowned and brought your hands in front of you. “You’re apologising?”

Kaz nodded slowly. “I am. I… I believe I didn’t think a relationship should be a two-way road. I like hearing you tell me about your day, how I make you feel, how happy I made you on your birthday - I didn’t think I should return it.”

You stared at him for a moment longer. “I want to be there for you, Kaz. But it’s been difficult when you’re pushing me away - and yesterday proved the reason why I hadn’t talked about it before, you immediately made your walls rise up when I tried to talk with you.”

Kaz stepped closer to the bed, hesitating for a moment but then grazing your arm with the tips of his fingers. “You’ve never been a distraction, nor you are a burden.”

You nodded, smiling softly at him before you carefully linked your pinky with his. “Apology accepted. I love you.”

Kaz froze. It was the first time you said it - you love him. He took in a shaky breath, and you blinked, shaking your head. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean to overwhelm–”

“I love you too,” he forced himself to get out, and it felt like something heavy pressing down his heart was just lifted when now you, in turn, froze. Then, a wide smile emerged to your face, and Kaz’s smile mirrored it a few seconds after.

For that morning, you sat there together like two lovesick teenagers you were - and the gloomy city of Ketterdam felt sunnier than ever.

---

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bookishdream · 1 year

Text

Underwater

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader Description: Kaz and reader are in an established realtionship and when they think they succeeded in the Heist, something goes wrong. Genre: Angst/Fluff Word count: 1,8k

To Kaz, loving her was like drowning. His head would spin, his palms would sweat under his leather gloves, he would be confused. But it also felt like a first mouthful of air after he broke the surface. His heart would skip a beat and he would let out a first, shaky gasp of relief that he finally was able to get out from under the water. She didn’t make it easy to love her, her own traumas, her own nightmares and demons that couldn’t let her rest, her own vengefulness and personal vendetta against the world. But Kaz couldn’t and didn’t resist when he realized what all of those weaknesses meant. He was taken aback when he realized that he had a heart to give her. And she was happy to nurture and keep it safe.

When the Crows got the job to do they knew they might not come out alive from this. All seven of them were aware of the fact that death might be lurking behind the corner. So when Inej got injured y/n felt death on her shoulder, creeping closer and closer, making itself known in her every thought.

“Saints, Inej,” y/n exclaimed when she noticed that the Suli girl finally opened her dark eyes. Her brown face looked worn out and the remains of her blood could still be seen on her pants. Y/n delicately helped her friend up and propped her tensed body up the wall. The ship was swaying, the light bulbs weren’t giving much light, but she could see how Inej was grimacing when she moved her limbs. “You scared us all.”

“I scared myself,” Suli replied, touching her thigh. She hissed when her finger made contact with a scratch. Nina was a decent healer but even her powers were limited. “Are we safe?”

“As safe as we can be with this lunatic,” y/n smirked, leaning against the wall beside her friend. She tried to make a light out of the situation, but it was hard when she had been helping Nina bring colors to Inej’s face. She didn’t think she had taken a full breath in since Inej got attacked. “Somehow he figured we would be ambushed.”

“One would think he’d done it himself just to prove his point,”

“It’s Kaz, I think he himself doesn’t entirely know what is in his own head,”

“I reckon you would know best, y/n,” Inej smirked in her direction, her eyes glowing when she noticed how y/n’s cheeks grew redder. The girl rolled her eyes and got up.

“I will go fetch Nina, she’ll be thrilled you’re awake,” y/n smiled at Inej, taking her in once more to make sure she could be left alone.

“Coward,” Suli sing-songed.

“Stay still and do not go anywhere, you unbearable creature,”

“You and I will have this talk one day, I hope you know,”

“Dear Ghezen, have mercy,” after this she left and went to look for the Heartrender. She found Nina walking around the dock, Jesper keeping her company. They looked anxious and Nina’s palms were slightly shaking.

“Y/n!” Jesper exclaimed, “Is Inej okay?”

“She woke up, actually,” the girl said, sitting on one of the wooden steps. “I think you should take a look at her wound, it opened up a bit.”

“Yes! Yes, of course,” Nina shot to her feet, running to the room where Inej was sitting.

“Is Kaz okay?” y/n asked the Zemeni boy, his eyes were locked on the newest addition to the Crows. Wylan, on the other hand, was fidgeting. The boy couldn’t sit still and he was looking guilty, as if he had betrayed himself. Y/n wasn’t surprised regarding his upbringing. She hoped he would get used to it, being disappointed with himself that is.

“Go and ask him yourself, he nearly threw me overboard when I asked if he wanted to change his shirt, I’m not risking anything,”

Y/n nodded and made her way to the bow, where the Dirtyhands was standing. He looked lost in his mind, his hand clenched on the railing. His hair was disheveled and the wind didn’t seem to be helping with that. Not like he paid any mind to it, anyway.

“How are you holding on? I heard you were the one that carried Inej onto the ship,” she started, trying to come as close to him as she could, but still give him his space. “She’s alive thanks to you, Kaz.”

“I know,” he remarked. Y/n breathed a laugh, of course, she didn’t expect no other answer. “But I can still feel the wetness of her blood,” he started, his breath heavy and voice no louder than the sound of the wind. “I really tried not to drop her.”

“But you didn’t, Kaz, she’s alive and what’s most important she’s okay,” she smiled at him, she put her own palm on the railing, so that he could feel her closeness, but not close enough to overwhelm him.

After this night everything was left to the fortune. Inej prayed to her Saints everynight, Jesper worshiped his revolvers, Matthias was brooding and making faces whenever one of them so much as mentioned their destination, which was often enough that y/n was afraid that his face would stay in that way, Nina sang some old, Ravkan songs, Wylan and Kaz were going through the maps all over again and y/n couldn’t shake off the feeling of certain energy creeping from behind the corner.

So when they somehow succeeded in their plan, after many, many close encounters with death, she was relieved to feel every bone, every muscle, every hair on her body. She was sore from head to toes and for the majority of the journey to Ketterdam she was sleeping. She felt like she was on fire.

However, when they eventually docked to the Fifth Harbor and were ready to receive their payment everything went to shit.

“The deal is the deal, Van Eck,” Kaz said, the first signs of the storm were in the air. Y/n shivered looking around her friends’ faces. Everyone seemed confused, including her, and tired.

“Not much of a deal if no one besides us knows about it,” the merchant’s voice was filled with pride, his face full of arrogance. “I didn’t know you were so naive, Mister Brekker. Fortunately, none of you leaves the island alive, so no one will hold me accountable.”

“You’re wrong,” Jesper countered, his hands ready to take out his guns.

“Am I?” Two things happened at the same time, the ship behind them, the same one that they’d arrived on, blew up and Van Eck’s people started shooting. The force of the explosion was so big that y/n couldn’t keep her balance. She fell on her palms and knees feeling the hard concrete underneath her. She looked around her making sure that everyone was okay. Her eyes stopped at the silhouette of Kaz and Van Eck. She tried to warn Kaz, but to no avail. Y/n felt a pair of arms lifting her up, Jesper’s scent hit her nostrils. She got up as quickly as she could with his help and she found a box to hide behind.

“Jesper, cover me,” she whispered, the Zemeni looked at her, perplexed.

“Always,”

Whatever she wanted to do, it was stupid. Probably the most stupid thing she had ever done. She left her shelter and tried to get closer to the place where Kaz was still having a conversation with the merchant. She carefully went along the dock’s line so as not to fall into the canal. She kept the pistol hidden to prevent the guards from shooting. She creeped closer and closer and she could hear their words as clear as the storm over her head was allowing, still minding how close to the canal she was.

“You have too many weaknesses, Brekker. She for instance is one of them,” Van Eck motioned to his man. “Take care of her.”

Then the hell broke loose. Y/n didn’t know where she was supposed to look, everything happened so abruptly. Both her and the guard lifted their guns, aiming. Y/n fired but even with Jesper’s help, her shot wasn’t good or quick. She felt the knifr hitting her and hot, white, flashing pain radiated in her shoulder. Tears shot to her eyes but she didn’t let herself scream. She swayed on her legs, then a second knife hit her. She fell and kept falling. She hit the water.

She realized that the feeling of death she had experienced was inevitable. She was meant to die on this trip and once she had managed to escape its arms, but this time it looked her straight into the eyes. She tried to swim back to the surface, however her arms felt as if they were made from the lead. On top of that she was losing too much blood, too quickly. She prayed even though she wasn’t religious. Eventually, after what felt like hours, she closed her eyes, expecting death soon.

Unexpectedly, she felt two arms pulling her out of her slumber, she opened her eyes noticing Kaz. Kaz, who almost drowned himself. Kaz, who dove right after her. Y/n let herself smile at the thought that he cared so much for a person who might die in a few minutes. They hit the surface, taking big gulps of air. Kaz screamed at Jesper to help him, but y/n understood only every other word. Jesper and Matthias helped Kaz to put y/n on the dock and then helped him get out of the water. Kaz took off his gloves and his heavy coat. He put the latter over his girl’s body and he let her lean against his own body.

“Nina,” he barked, “I need you to take out those blades.”

“She lost too much blood, Kaz,”

“She will heal herself, pull them out,” he hissed, trying to bring y/n around. She was pale, but her lips still had their pinkish color. “Don’t die on me, y/n.”

“Matthias, give me a cloth, until she’s conscious she won’t be able to do anything with her power,” Nina ordered, kneeling beside y/n. “We need to stop the bleeding.”

When the Grisha pulled out the first knife, the wounded girl hissed through her teeth. “Do not move,” Kaz said, his voice calm, but everyone could hear a hint of relief. “You’ve lost so much blood.”

“You jumped after me,” she whispered, her words only loud enough for him to hear. “Kaz–,”

“Shh, love,” his eyes softened, but he didn’t dare to touch her. “I couldn’t have lost you the same way I’ve lost him.”

Y/n gasped, touching his palm.

“I didn’t know Kaz had feelings,” Nina commented, getting up. “We need to patch y/n up and then we can take our revenge, so you’d better heal fast.”

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