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soldiermom1973 · 2 years

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N7 Month, Day 5 - Interview

You can also read it on AO3, if you like. Likes, comments, reblogs, and kudos are amazing! . . . . . . Allie heard her before she saw her. “But you served on the SR-1, didn't you? And now you're here at the dock while the Normandy's here.” Fucking Diana Allers, Allie fumed. Every time the Normandy was docked, it didn't take the reporter long to find part of her crew to harass. Allie just straight up ignored the woman. She didn't know why the woman was so persistent on getting an interview with someone and had pretty much had her fill. The last several times they docked, she told herself she would say something, but she never did – she figured if she just ignored this problem, it would go away on its own, unlike every other problem being dropped in her lap. “Ms. Allers, I'm sorry, I can't comment on anything. I can put you in touch with an Alliance representative, though, who would be happy to help you out.” And now she was harassing Kaidan. Fuck, Allie thought, marching to where the young woman had Kaidan all but cornered. “But you actually served on the Normandy. You can give me insight... Oh, never mind, here's Commander Shepard. Commander, I have some questions...” “Enough, Allers,” Allie said, putting herself between the reporter and Kaidan. “I'm sick of you harassing my crew, trying to get an interview. We don't have time for this shit. You know damn well who to contact with your questions.” Allers held her hands up. “Now, Commander, I'm not looking for just an interview. I have a proposition for you. All I've been doing with your crew is trying to talk to you about it.” “And there are appropriate channels for you to do that, too,” Allie retorted. “Get lost.” Allie crossed her arms over her chest, silently daring the young woman to keep pressing her point. Allers, to either her credit or stupidity, Allie wasn't sure which, was not swayed. “Commander, we're in the middle of a war. You need support and good will on your side to get your mission accomplished. I know you've been having trouble getting the other races to help humanity. That's where I come in. Let me embed on your ship, report directly from the front lines. Show my viewers what the Alliance actually deals with day to day. My show has millions of viewers. Think of the people I can help you reach!” Allie laughed. “Bullshit,” she said, shaking her head. “You want on my ship because it's the Normandy. Because of who we are. Who I am. I'm not stupid. This is a bullet point on your resume. Bragging rights. Nothing more.” Allie heard Kaidan chuckle behind her and Allers at least had the decency to look offended. “Commander, I assure you...” “Stop, just stop,” Allie said, dropping her arms. “Here's my counter-offer – you leave my dock, stop harassing my people, and I won't disparage your reporting skills every chance I get.” Now the young woman looked angry. “I have every right to be here. You can't kick me out.” Allie took a couple of steps toward the reporter and leaned forward, dropping her voice to the low, quiet tone she used when she meant business. “Let me clue you in on a few things. First of all, this dock has been assigned to the Alliance and specifically my ship. As a ranking Alliance officer and the person responsible for the comings and goings here, I absolutely have that right. Additionally, this ultimately belongs to the Citadel and I have a feeling I can have C-Sec here in less than ten seconds and they will happily escort you off the dock and prevent you from coming back. And if that's not enough, need I remind you I'm a Spectre and that would be reason alone for me to have you escorted away from here.” Allers narrowed her eyes at Allie's threats. “You know, I can make things really difficult for you, Commander. I don't think you understand what having me on your good side will do.” Allie laughed again and shook her head. “Your support? Ms. Allers, I have dealt with the likes of al-Jilani and let me assure you, you are a minnow to her piranha. She and I just had a very encouraging discussion and I have a feeling I'll get a lot more support from her than I ever would from you. Now get. Off. My Dock.” The young woman huffed, but motioned for her cam-drone to follow her. Allie watched her leave and made a mental note to have Bailey lock her access to D-24. She nearly forgot Kaidan was even there until he spoke. “Well, that was impressive. I don't think I've ever seen you light someone up like that before,” he noted. “I'm sorry,” Allie said, taking a deep breath and running her fingers through her hair. “I'm just so sick of her being here, pestering my crew and my friends and hearing her question you just set me off.” “Oh? I couldn't tell,” Kaidan smirked. Allie chuckled and looked him over. “So, you're out of the hospital?” “Not quite. They just let me loose sometimes to stretch my legs. So I wander down here and admire the view,” he shrugged. Allie felt her face flush when he raised an eyebrow and grinned at her. “Well, it's good to see you out and about. Just don't overdo it, ok? I need you back on the Normandy to help me kick the Reapers out of the Milky Way.” “Yes, ma'am.” Kaidan snapped to attention and gave her a mock salute. “So, have you eaten yet? I'm starving and was going to head for some lunch before that woman cornered me.” Allie checked the time on her 'tool. “Sure, I think I have time to grab some food,” she said. “Lead the way, Major.” She followed him to the elevator, noting how he still favored his left side a little but seemed none the worse for wear and said a quick prayer that he survived his ordeal on Mars.

(A/N - So, I can't stand Diana Allers. I had her on my ship once years ago just to see how annoying she was and haven't even talked to her since. Allie is usually a lot more diplomatic when dealing with people, but when Kaidan's involved, all bets are off. Also, the timing might be a little off - this happens before that third hospital visit (when Kaidan's up & moving), and I don't remember off-hand if the conversation with al-Jilani happens then or not. But I'm tired and behind in my NaNo count and this is what it is. I hope you liked it! )

#N7Month #N7 month 2022 #mass effect #interview #1000 years #shenko #allie shepard #kaidan alenko

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tiny-banana-time · 2 years

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Gonna lob this one right back atcha 😉

“ with your mouth on mine, there's less bullshit coming out of it. “

MILES

I give. Not sure how I feel about this one, but words happened today and I'm going with them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kaidan had a headache before they suited up to crawl into the Grizzly for a scouting mission.

Just scouting, surveying, and verifying map data. Easy on his head, and maybe even relaxing.

Until Shepard got bored.

Apparently, that shiny new N designation, and no pressing matters to put it to use for, meant that Klaus was perfectly content to let Jay run these bullshit missions while he stayed on the ship to "write reports". Kaidan knows it was an excuse to play that damned farming game on his omni that he's not supposed to have been able to download. But, revealing that knowledge would reveal that he, too, is not supposed to have it – furthermore, that he was the one to put it there.

So, fine, let Klaus tend to his fucking crops.

Back on the ground, a bored Shepard at the wheel of their vehicle went as well as anyone could have guessed. Romeo egged him on through every last mud patch they could find, even as Lala threatened to use them as the sponges when they returned.

He thought it strange for her, the devil in his shoulder, to be the person talking Jay out of a stupid idea – until Kaidan remembered how angry she'd been the last time this happened, and the promise she'd made if it were ever to happen again – a threat she's now making good on.

So, what had started as a mild headache – that which should have been resolved by the regular strength pain meds he'd grabbed from the med bay after breakfast – was now threatening to bloom into a migraine to ruin his night. With mud up to his elbows and splattered across half his uniform, Kaidan curses the entire Detail.

Including himself.

He finishes cleaning his designated section of the Grizzly – a smaller spot for not encouraging the antics, and only because he told Lala he was helping – and heads to his locker at the back of the shuttle bay. Uniform stripped and thrown into the sanitizer for a heavy duty cycle, he hits the showers to the tune of Jay's laughter ringing out through the bay.

It's not until later that evening, hunched over his desk with the lights dimmed as fresh painkillers set it, that Jay makes his way back to their quarters and greets Kaidan. Freshly showered and with his own clean uniform, there's no trace of their afternoon on the man. Thankfully for him, Kaidan's annoyance has mostly dissipated along with the throbbing in his skull, and he's actually glad to see his idiot returning.

"Hey, how's the head?" Jay sits next to him at his own desk, unbuttoning his uniform shirt and tugging up to untuck it from his pants. Genuine concern further calms his mood, and Kaidan is now mainly annoyed at how hard it is to stay annoyed at Jay.

"Better. Not affecting my vision anymore, and your presence hasn't yet threatened to split my skull open, so I think I'm in the clear."

"Shit," Jay mumbles, lowering his voice and struggling to pull his sleeves off over his wrists, muscles flexing beneath his white undershirt. "I didn't realize it was that bad. I wouldn't have kept us out so long."

He starts to shake his head but regrets it immediately, opting instead to hold up a hand and wave him off. "All well, I'm fine now. Just need to finish these map notes to submit to Klaus and I'm gonna head to bed, anyway."

Jay rests a hand over his own, asking Kaidan to pause his work for another moment.

"This is my fault," he whispers. "I just thought it would be a good team bonding thing, and with all the ICT bullshit I've been dealing with, and the added strain it throws on the Detail, I thought it would be a good way to blow off some steam." He barrels through his explanation without moving his hand but won't meet Kaidan's eye.

"But I didn't think about how it would affect you. Or uh– or the others. And you shouldn't have gotten stuck helping us clean up."

"I offered," Kaidan cuts in.

"Fuck, of course you did… that's just who you are. You're always thinking about everyone else, always helping out and putting others first. And here I am, an asshole making excuses, and I haven't even apologized."

Jay finally looks at Kaidan, practically wincing, and gives him that smirk that creases his eyes and sets butterflies loose in Kaidan's gut.

Moving his free hand to adjust a lock of Kaidan's hair, he says, "I'm sorry I was an asshole that didn't consider all of the needs of my team. I knew you had a headache and should have checked in with you before just taking us joyriding." His fingers linger for just a second, just long enough for Kaidan to purposefully move back into the touch. "It was stupid. I knew it would piss Lala off, but it is kinda funny to make her mad sometimes… and we did get a laugh after her Grizzly was clean. Anyway, I'm sorry for all the bullshit still coming out, but I just… can't seem to stop talking?"

Jay huffs out a chuckle when Kaidan grins at the admission and presses his head further into Jay's hand.

It's cute watching Jay trip over words, and having one hand on his own and the other in his hair spurs the butterflies on for Kaidan to follow – a clear want emerging through the fog still lingering in his head.

"So yeah, I'm sorry Kaidan. And I'm glad you're feeling better. But if there's something I can do to help instead of just sitting here spurting bullshit, let me know?"

Kaidan leans in, free hand landing on Jay's cheek and gently urging him forward while his fingers respond by tracing further into dark curls. Pausing to search for any indication that this is too far, not what Jay meant, or anything that tells him to stop, Kaidan sees only want in return. So when Jay leans in to meet him and closes his eyes, Kaidan kisses him – solidly but softly, not hesitating but not pushing. And when Jay kisses him back those butterflies dance around his chest instead, fluttering up and out until his entire body is tingling.

Pulling away, Kaidan doesn't open his eyes, opting instead to bask in the heat of their connection and the clearing of his head ever so slightly more.

"Did that help?" Jay asks, carding fingers even farther into Kaidan's curls.

"Yeah." It's exhaled between them, the feeling lingering. "It helped. Plus," he starts, brushing another chaste kiss to Jay's lips, "with your mouth on mine, there's less bullshit coming out of it."

It sets them both laughing, eventually calming down enough to pepper more kisses in the pauses between giggles before Jay speaks again.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven for the mud detour?"

Kaidan's next press of his lips is drawn out until he can feel Jay turning to jelly in his hands.

"Yeah," he confirms with another peck, "but if you ever even consider another mud puddle while I'm in the vehicle," and another to punctuate his words, "I'm helping Lala use you as a human scrub brush."

The laughter echoing between them is beautiful, and Kaidan only holds off on kissing Jay again to bask in the warmth of his joy.

"Deal."

#my writing #these idiots your honor #mshenko #kaidan alenko #mass effect #jaykay #Miles I will knock out these prompts kicking and screaming if I need to

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swaps55 · 3 years

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Mnemonic

This is an AU version of a standalone scene from Cantata that I rewrote with kissing. Because there was a lot of UST and I am weak.

Ao3

14 June 2180, Hades Gamma, Farinata System, SSV Myeongnyang

For a biotic, the armor never really comes off. What they carry under their skin is like a live wire, a current always in need of grounding.

Standing face-to-face with half a dozen L2 biotics holding the chairman of the Parliament Subcommittee for Transhuman Studies hostage on the MSV Ontario makes it a lot easier for Kaidan to see how much he takes for granted having a safe place to do it. And knowing how.

Reparations for the L2 side effects are a pipe dream. But a pipe dream Colin Daggett and his people needed to cling to, whatever the cost. And it had almost cost them everything.

Shepard doesn’t say much as they arrange for the survivors to be transferred to the Madrid’s brig and the engineering crew arrives to secure the Ontario for the trip to Arcturus. He says even less on the way through the airlock back to the ‘Yang, and the rest of the squad take their lead from him.

When they’re back on board the ship he disappears, sucking the air out of the room with him. They kit down without him.

“You’re an L2, aren’t you?” Pendergrass asks as she shoves her arms through the sleeves of her uniform, armor plating in a heap at her feet.

Beaudoin jabs her with an elbow.

“Yeah,” Kaidan murmurs, fingers tracing the amp port on the back of his neck when he removes the protection plate. He flexes his fingers, gravity well jumping into his touch. As he reaches for his chest plate to store it in his gear locker, an electric shock passes through him.

When 23:00 rolls around, Kaidan shows up in the mess as usual, figuring he’ll keep it simple tonight and just make some pasta. Shepard is there waiting, as usual, picking at a spot on the table while Kaidan pulls out a pot and finds a container of pasta. The entire time the water boils Shepard doesn’t say a word, stubbornly lost in thought.

Kaidan tells himself he’s not going to do more than olive oil and garlic – it’s been too long of a day for effort – but by the time he gets it to the table there’s parmesan cheese, parsley, and even a little red pepper in the mix.

“You going to tell me what’s up, or do I get to guess?” Kaidan asks when he sits down across from him and hands off a fork. He spent too much energy on going above and beyond with the red pepper to bother with a second bowl. They’ll just have to share.

Shepard looks up, almost in surprise. “Just thinking.”

“You’ve been thinking ever since you got Chairman Burns through the airlock. Maybe you should think out loud.”

The gravity well churns as Shepard stirs eddies in it, in tune with the twirl of his fork in the pasta bowl. “Everything that happened on that ship hinged on what Daggett did with his pistol.”

His toying intensifies, until blue energy shimmers around his knuckles. This one’s been chewing at him. A snap of electricity skips between his finger and the fork, and he drops it with an annoyed mutter. He looks up.

“You pulled the gun out of his hands,” he says.

And Shepard had put a bullet between his eyes. The fight had gone out of the rest pretty quickly.

“He wasn’t going to put it down,” Kaidan says. “We all knew it.”

“No. He wasn’t. And if you hadn’t been there, that standoff turns into a clusterfuck where everyone dies.”

A soft smile tugs at Kaidan’s lips. “Guess it’s a good thing I was there.”

Shepard picks up the fork again, staring at it with an unfocused gaze before he stabs it back in the bowl and twirls more pasta.

“I couldn’t have done what you did. I can’t refine a field like that. I was prepared to shoot everyone in that room. But you pulled the gun right out of his hands.”

Only because Shepard had given him the chance. Whether Shepard had done it with purpose or actually hesitated is a question he hasn’t been in a hurry to examine too closely.

“We work together, remember? In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

Shepard huffs. “Yeah. We have.”

“But you’re just gonna get bent out of shape about not being able to do everything yourself, anyway.”

“Have you met me?” Shepard says with a helpless shrug.

“Yeah, I’ve had the pleasure,” Kaidan says with a chuckle. He pushes his chair back. “Come on, then.”

Shepard casts him a suspicious look. “Come where?”

“To the gym.”

“Alenko—”

“Come on.” He nods towards the elevator and starts walking, smirking a little when Shepard’s chair scrapes against the floor and his feet hit the deckplates.

“You’re just dying to give me a taste of my own medicine, aren’t you,” Shepard grouches when they board the lift.

“Oh, definitely.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Apparently not when it comes to taking people’s pistols out of their hands.”

Shepard chuckles, though he tries to choke off a smile by looking down at his feet. When they get to the gym Kaidan digs a canteen out of his locker and sets it down on one of the sparring mats.

“I’m guessing that your training didn’t include a lot of control drills,” he says.

Shepard shakes his head. “Tulak wasn’t big on control. Overwhelming tidal force tends to be the krogan approach.”

“You don’t say.”

“Sarcasm does not become you, Alenko.”

Kaidan grins and points to the canteen. “Start simple. Just lift it off the ground.”

Shepard rolls his eyes, but taps into the gravity well, corona enveloping him in a shroud of snapping blue tendrils. The hairs on Kaidan’s arms stand on end.

It’s so rare he gets to just watch Shepard work. All unrestrained power, from the loose, angry snarl of his corona to the sweeping mnemonics, make him seem larger than life. When he swipes the canteen off the floor he does it with his entire arm. The canteen leaps into the air, nearly hitting the ceiling before Shepard wrangles it. He only holds it still for half a second before sending it skidding to the other side of the gym.

“Hm,” Kaidan says.

Shepard gives him a withering look before marching off to fetch the wayward canteen. “It’s small. I don’t do well with small.”

“Not sure the size trips you up as much as you think it does,” Kaidan muses. “That mnemonic of yours applies some pretty impressive force automatically, so you’re already playing catch up if you’re trying to control the speed or direction.”

“See, I can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or giving me shit.”

“Both.”

“Har.”

Shepard resets the canteen and comes back to Kaidan to try it again, standing close but not so close their fields intersect. Kaidan watches through three variations that all end almost the same way, too much force being applied to the canteen, making it nearly impossible for Shepard to control where it goes, or where it doesn’t.

Doesn’t matter that he’s not accomplishing what it intends. The way the gravity well cants under his touch, the way his corona lights him ablaze like a flickering star, the way it caresses every nerve in Kaidan’s body like a swash of silk is mesmerizing. Kaidan swallows before trying to speak.

“Good news is, if we ever need someone to punt a suspicious canteen into space, I know who to call.”

Shepard rolls his eyes. “And if you’re not around to yank pistols out of terrorist hands?”

“Well, first, I will be around. But second, as for the pistol, yanking it towards you isn’t so different from kicking it away from you.” He cracks a grin. “In your case you just need to be prepared to duck.”

“Have I mentioned that separating the pistol from the person holding it wouldn’t end well for anyone?” Shepard says. “If you were to go hold that canteen in your palm and ask me to do what I just did, you wouldn’t like me very much.”

I doubt that.

“One problem at a time,” Kaidan says. “Let’s work on controlling the canteen by itself, then we’ll add clutter.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

“You need a new mnemonic. You’re fighting yourself by adding force and trying to take it away at the same time.”

“I’m sensing a metaphor.”

Kaidan smirks. “Think that says more about you than it does me.” Before Shepard can protest he raises an arm. “Watch me. You don’t have to use my mnemonic, but I want you to see something different so you can visualize it.”

Shepard folds his arms across his chest, but does what Kaidan asks. A nervous thrill runs through him at the undivided attention.

Kaidan waves a wrist, a hard-learned, hard-fought mnemonic that now feels as natural as breathing. Dark energy rushes through him, responsive and willing, as his fingers flex and settle a field over the canteen. Very little mass-shifting needed to pick up a light-weight canteen, which makes it tricky to keep from doing exactly what Shepard did – send it spinning out of control. But Kaidan has spent years perfecting his ability to do exactly this, so the canteen rises off the floor until it reaches eye level. Kaidan closes his fist and holds it still, floating almost motionless in mid-air.

“That mnemonic is so damned subtle,” Shepard says with an appreciative shake of his head. A flush builds at the back of Kaidan’s neck.

“Easier for me that way.”

Shepard grunts and unfolds his arms. “I was never good at levitation.”

“Because your mnemonics always apply force.”

“Need force to yank that pistol.”

“Sure, but if you want to control it, you need to learn how to hold it still.”

“I’m not good at still.”

“I know,” Kaidan says, lips curving into a smile. “So come here and let me show you.”

Shepard strays a step closer into Kaidan’s biotic field. The blend of auras creates a low keen through his nerves, familiar but always striking. The canteen wavers before falling to the ground.

“Sorry,” Shepard mumbles, but doesn’t back away.

“It’s fine,” Kaidan says, lifting the canteen again with another float of his palm.

Their eyes lock for a moment before Shepard clears his throat and looks down at Kaidan’s hand.

“You put everything in your wrist.”

“Yeah,” he manages. “You do it all with your arms.”

“Yeah.”

“So maybe, if you’re looking for finesse, try to create a mnemonic that’s a little, uh, smaller.”

“With my wrist.”

“Right. Um, I’ll show you. Here.” He steps in front of Shepard, angling his body to align their right arms. He takes Shepard’s right hand guides it to his wrist, tingle running down his spine when his fingers close around it. Shepard glances at him with soft eyes that stop the breath in his throat, but doesn’t object.

“Hands-on teacher?”

“Best way to learn,” Kaidan replies, gaze flicking to Shepard’s mouth before going back to the canteen. “Just follow my lead. Don’t act on the canteen. Concentrate on what my arm does. Visualize it.”

“Sure,” Shepard murmurs.

Kaidan reaches into the gravity well, his own corona unfurling, a steady candle to Shepard’s flaring torch. Goosebumps rise on Shepard’s arm, a subtle reminder that he’s human after all, one Kaidan is almost never close enough to witness.

He takes a deep breath and flexes his wrist, Shepard’s fingers loose and feather-light against his skin. A crackle of dark energy passes between them before he snares the canteen and turns his wrist palm-up to lift it off the floor, Shepard close enough his breath washes over Kaidan’s cheek. The canteen wavers but Kaidan keeps it afloat for several seconds, the mingle of auras, ripple of kinetic energy and closeness of Shepard enough to make him dizzy.

He lets it go with a clatter and puts space between them.

“Does that help?” he asks, trying not to sound breathless.

“Yeah. It does.” Shepard’s gaze stays on him, still and steady. “Might take a while to hard-wire my brain for something in the wrist.”

“Doesn’t have to be that. It could be something else. But you associate those big movements with force. Take that away, you might have more luck with leaving velocity out of the initial execution, so you can add it how you need it. Have more control over it.”

Shepard’s mouth crooks in a half-smile. “Sure I’m not a lost cause when it comes to control?”

“I’m sure.”

Shepard breaks his gaze and focuses on the canteen, brow furrowed in concentration. Twice he catches himself using his arm, then nearly wrenches his wrist trying to restrict the movement.

“It’s so ingrained,” he says with a shake of his head.

“That’s why they work,” Kaidan says with a smile. “Here.” He steps close once again, positions reversed with his hand on Shepard’s wrist this time. “Let me help.”

“Fuck, your hands are cold,” Shepard says with a laugh.

Hastily, he loosens his grip. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Shepard says with a grin. “Go on.”

Gently, Kaidan closes his fingers again. Shepard trains his eyes on the canteen, though they dart to Kaidan ever so briefly.

Shepard’s corona is so bright, so fierce, it’s a wonder he can wrangle it at all. Kaidan breathes in deep, letting his own kindle, the snick and crackle as they blend together forming a resonant hum that hovers just under his skin.

When Shepard’s arm moves, Kaidan tightens his grip, keeping the motion small. Instead of his usual languid, fluid posture, Shepard’s arm is stiff and resistant against him. The canteen spins in a circle but stays on the ground.

“Breathe, Shepard,” Kaidan says softly. “Just let it happen.”

Shepard inhales deep, like someone trying to relearn how. This time they move together, Kaidan picking up the slack when Shepard falters, until the canteen hovers briefly in the air. It’s more under Kaidan’s control than Shepard’s, but it’s a start, and that’s what matters.

They gutter out and the canteen falls, but Kaidan doesn’t let go and doesn’t step away, not yet, not quite yet, not while the remnants of kinetic energy are still sharp in the air and he has to remind himself to breathe, too.

“How do you do that?” Shepard murmurs. “You worked around me, without…taking over. How do you do that?”

Their eyes lock for just a moment. God Kaidan could get lost there if he’s not careful. “Practice. Years of it.”

Let go.

He means to. He means to. In his head he loosens his hold on Shepard’s wrist, drops his hand away and puts space between them. That’s what he tells himself to do. That’s what he intends to do.

But while he does loosen his grip, instead of fall away, Kaidan’s fingertips brush Shepard’s knuckles, the pad of his thumb running along the round muscle of his palm.

It’s an accident. Just an accident. So many of their touches are, but rather than move or pull away, rather than let it be just another one of those excusable, explainable slips, Shepard exhales, the breath fluttering out of him, then splays his fingers wider, as if making room for Kaidan’s to slot between them.

Let go, let go.

But instead he explores the open space Shepard has left for him, fingertips light, hesitant, ghosting Shepard’s skin as he finds where they fit, hovering, hoping, but never daring to rest. Never giving up the ruse.

It’s an accident. It doesn’t mean anything.

Except it does.

Shepard stays still as a stone save for the rise and fall of his chest. They’re close enough now their cheeks almost touch, though whether Kaidan moves or Shepard does to close that gap he can’t say.

The next time Kaidan’s fingers trespass through that open space, Shepard closes his around them and traps them there.

Kaidan’s breath hitches.

The gravity well sighs as Shepard calls to it, glow of dark energy limming their hands, accompanied by a soundless hum that strums every nerve in Kaidan’s body before settling in his groin. Without thinking his other hand comes to rest on Shepard’s hip, needing something, anything, to hold onto.

A soft sound stirs in Shepard’s throat. Kaidan’s hand doesn’t stay on that hip for long, because Shepard seeks those fingers out, too, lacing them together. Kaidan folds both arms until Shepard is surrounded by them. There’s no imagining any space between them now – their cheeks rest against each other, Kaidan tightening his hold until Shepard is snug against his chest.

Shepard turns his head, but after briefly meeting each other’s gaze, his eyes drift down to Kaidan’s mouth.

Kaidan can still let go. There’s still a way out. Chalk it up to adrenaline, nerves leftover from the standoff on the Ontario. They can walk it off, laugh, pretend it never happened, continue on like they always have.

But he doesn’t let go, and then the millimeters between Shepard’s lips and Kaidan’s no longer exist and the window is gone.

Shepard’s mouth is warm, soft, lips tinged with the salt of his sweat. They start out slow, cautious, neither of them daring to think about it too hard, but that’s not a problem for long, because soon there’s no room to think about anything at all.

Nothing else matters but this.

Slow and cautious becomes deep and headlong, Kaidan pushing his tongue between Shepard’s teeth, Shepard sighing into his mouth and taking him in. His fingers tighten around Kaidan’s, the glow of dark energy rippling out from their joined hands until it swallows them whole. Kaidan gasps at the sensation.

Shepard kisses him harder.

God.

Kaidan wants to spin him around, throw his arms around his neck and meet him head on, give in to everything, all of it, but he can’t bear the thought of turning loose of that hand.

They part when they run out of air, both straining to catch their breath, fingers still entwined, Shepard still firmly ensconced in Kaidan’s arms as his corona fades.

Shepard rests his cheek against Kaidan’s, ensconcing himself a little further.

“Oh,” he says softly.

“Yeah.”

Shepard’s fingers flex within his, twining and retwining, never letting go.

“You…don’t seem surprised.”

Kaidan closes his eyes, breathing him in, a star he’s somehow pulled down out of the heavens and trapped right here in his arms. “No. Felt it…for a long time now.”

“Oh.”

“…Yeah.”

Their coronas may have faded, but the mingle of their biotic fields is a constant, soothing whisper under Kaidan’s skin. A small, contented sound slips from Shepard’s throat.

“Why didn’t I see it?”

Kaidan huffs. “To be fair, I don’t think either of us are very good at this kind of thing.”

Shepard tightens his grip on Kaidan’s fingers and pulls them to his chest. The race of Shepard’s heart thrums under their joined hands. If Kaidan had any illusions about letting him go, they’re gone now.

“I think I’d like to learn,” Shepard says.

Kaidan’s stomach flips. “Me too.”

They stay still, Kaidan content to hold him, Shepard content to be held, until their lips find each other once more. Kissing Shepard is easy, effortless, like it’s something they were meant to do, a safe place for the live current running under their skin to go to ground.

Shepard, against all evidence to the contrary, is…safe.

Shepard gazes at him when they part, and butterflies cut loose in Kaidan’s stomach.

“You’re very good at that,” Shepard murmurs.

“We’re very good at a lot of things.”

“Yeah. We are.” He draws Kaidan’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan admits. “What do you want?”

“You.”

A shiver runs down Kaidan’s spine, the euphoria of that one, single word enough to make him lightheaded. So simple. So complicated. They’ll have choices to make, all of them with compromises and consequences. But that’s something for tomorrow. Right now there is only the truth.

“I want that, too.”

Shepard releases Kaidan’s hand to turn until they’re face to face, then runs his fingers through the hairs growing over Kaidan’s right temple. All the while those glittering eyes search Kaidan’s face, as though reconciling all the things he knows with the things he’s learning for the first time.

The corners of his eyes crinkle as a smile spreads across his face, pure, open, and full of possibility. “Taste of my own medicine, huh?”

“Well…” Kaidan shrugs helplessly, and Shepard’s grin only gets deeper.

“Seems like I should have let you teach me a few things a long time ago.”

Kaidan flexes his fingers, a curl of dark energy igniting in his palm that draws out goosebumps along Shepard’s arm. “All in the wrist.”

Shepard laughs. It’s like music. “You and me.”

“I like that,” Kaidan murmurs, before kissing him again. “I like that a lot.”

#mshenko #kaidan alenko #mass effect #my fic #UST with biotics #in case anyone is wondering #the number of first kisses I have written for Sam and Kaidan #is currently sitting at 7 #and that's just the first kisses i have WRITTEN #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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milaswriting · 3 years

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If mc and the ros are on a mission and the mc has to seduce a person for information(because that person has taken an interest with mc so they have to), how will the ros react?

I’ve written this before, but I don’t mind doing it again because I really do think I’ve developed the characters a lot more since answering this a few months ago.

Athalia/Asher: A initially wouldn’t take this well, but they’re a person who knows that certain situations need certain solutions and if they know that the MC helping them would solve things - then they’d have to grit their teeth and bare it. It’d also have A pacing around a lot because they’re angry, stressed, worried etc. and A’s very much a ‘actions now, ask questions later’ type of person; so if the MC was in danger or the person the MC is seducing is being too creepy then A is waltzing in ready to fist fight.

Blaire/Blaze: Can’t sit still when the MC has to go through this, I think they’re the ones that will try to convince themselves and everyone else that they’re fine - but as soon as the person the MC had to seduce places a hand on them, or makes some type of inappropriate comment, then some of B’s wolf tendencies will appear e.g, growling, their nails and teeth will sharpen a bit... and if this happens on the day when there’ll be a full moon in the night then B’s going to need a lot of reassuring from the MC that everything’s okay.

Kiana/Kaidan: K would immediately say no, throw a string of curse words around until they realise that it’s ultimately the MC’s decision, they’d obviously wish the MC would say no, but as it’s the best solution they’d say yes. This would probably help with K confirming their feelings for the MC, K would be sat there all worried, gnawing on their bottom lip until it bleeds, it’d probably prompt K to want to hunt for some blood too. It’s not just that the MC has to seduce someone else, the fact their safety is in danger is concerning for K too.

Phoebe/Phoenix: Takes the logical approach and literally tries to find any other way for this mission to go right without using the MC. When they accept defeat, then P would watch on with gritted teeth, a hand running through their blond(e) locks at every spare moment - they’d try sending the MC smiles every now and then to calm themselves down more than anything. I think this is the situation that would spark jealous P.

Thank you for your ask! 💛

~ xXx

#anon #ask #interactive fiction #golden #golden game #mila answers

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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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I have never played a Mass Effect game in my life, but I’m pretty sure Liara is that blue girl with the weird tentacles on her head, right? Why do you dislike her (if you want to share that is, I don’t want to cause any unnecessary discourse)?

Yeah! Liara is the asari teammate from the original trilogy and one of the three original romance options, and the only one who has a mandatory presence in all three games--and she’s also the only character who is a mandatory crewmate in both the first and third game.

And it really, really shows.

I’ll be honest--the most of my resentment for Liara has nothing to do with the character herself. (Although I do have issues with her--most notably in ME3, where Priority: Thessia, the main plot mission set on her home planet, pisses me off every single time I play. To the point where, apparently, whenever I replay ME3 it pisses me off enough to pause the game and write a post about it lmfao. But I also hate things like Shepard [the player character] not being allowed to stay pissed off about the fact that Liara gave her dead body to fucking Cerberus [it’s a long story; you can get angry in the moment but it doesn’t affect their relationship and that has always bothered me], and how much Lair of the Shadowbroker [the massive DLC dedicated to Liara, which no other romance gets anything like] feels like it was written entirely with a Liara/Shepard romance in mind, and non-romantic lines were added as an afterthought..) My primary ire, though, stems from the fact that the trilogy is heavily, heavily Liara-focused, and the way she is pushed so fucking hard (and I’m not even talking about the fandom, which is bad enough, but the fact that it’s actively difficult not to romance her in ME1 chaps my ass to this day) by the games themselves, as if she is considered the ‘right’ love interest, really bothers me.

No other character in the series gets that kind of attention. No other romance interest has romantic scenes in all three games. No other romance interest has a mandatory presence in all three games, in fact. Liara is the only crewmate, and the only romantic interest, who is in all three games--and who can be romanced in all three games--with absolutely no option at any point to get rid of her.

The other two romance options in ME1, Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams, are colloquially termed ‘The Virmire Survivor’ if they survive the first game, because one of them dies on Virmire no matter what you do. Garrus and Tali, who are romance options in ME2 for female Shepard and male Shepard respectively, are not romanceable in the first game, and like every other crewmate in 2, they can be killed during the final mission. (Also, you don’t even have to recruit Tali if you don’t want to, since her recruitment mission is in the second batch and therefore optional since you only need eight total crewmates to advance the plot.)

The only mandatory crewmates in 3 are Liara, EDI, and James. Of those, only Liara is a romance option. (You can technically flirt with James, but it doesn’t really go anywhere.) The Virmire Survivor is only mandatory at the beginning of the game, and can be killed during one of the main plot missions halfway through--even if they survive, though, they can be sent to serve the council rather than returning to the Normandy, which cuts off their romance path. And while the Virmire Survivor does show up in ME2, they are angry and antagonistic (for good reasons, in fairness), and even on a romance path the most you get is a hug and their picture on Shepard’s desk, along with vague promises of ‘maybe when you’re not working with Cerberus anymore....’ in an apology e-mail.

Liara, as mentioned, gets an entire like... five mission long DLC, which feels like it was created with her romance path in mind, and even without the DLC, if you romanced Liara in ME1 she’ll kiss Shepard and she is a fixture on a planet who can be returned to and talked with at any point in the game. Non-romanced, her reasons for being unable to give up Shepard, to the point of giving them to Cerberus to be resurrected, come off as extremely creepy, and like....no one else in the game is allowed to even react about it. Like, jfc, if I were a romanced Kaidan/Ashley and found out what Liara did, I’d never trust her again. But no, it’s treated like a minor blip no matter what conversational options you choose, no one else gets to react, and Liara’s insane sense of entitlement to Shepard (especially if there was no romance) is never really addressed.

Then of course there’s the way the fandom fawns over her, as if she’s the Unquestioned Best Romance (she really isn’t), and it combines with the way the game pushes her so hard (like I said, it’s difficult to avoid romancing her in ME1, because if you keep talking to her there will come a point where what seems to be a normal investigative conversation option leads to Shepard saying they’re attracted to her no matter which option you choose; also, in the Genesis DLC, which plays at the beginning of 2 if you want to use it to make the decisions from 1 without importing a save, Shepard will talk about Liara as if they were romantically interested in her before you even get to the point of choosing who they romanced) to have just made increasingly me sick of Liara fucking T’Soni over the last several years.

So, yeah. When I saw her at the end of the trailer, my first reaction was a very loud ‘are you FUCKING kidding me???’ Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly excited, no matter what happens, but if Liara is a mandatory squadmate again--especially if it’s some centuries after the OG trilogy so every other character is dead and gone, which is the only reason I can somewhat justify her appearance since asari have such long lives--I am probably going to break something.

#mass effect #anti liara #liara salt #asked #long post #Anonymous

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surpriserose · 2 years

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yo bby fave mass effect pairing? you have sexy taste

Omg thank you <3

I mean...shepard and liara is just the best sorry every time i go to speak with liara i just 🥺 like no romance is supposed to be "canon" obviously but as far as im concerned shepard and liara is im sorry its just so good storywise if you romance her like! Shes always been there for shepard and she always will platonically or not <3

Joker and edi is so yqghqbzbqjzbdisbz sorry i love them idc joker deserves a sexy robot girlfriend and theyre so funny together i love edi <3<3<3

Also jack and spac fem shepard sorry i just jack is bi!! Let her be bi!! Fuck it let miranda be bi!!! Fem shepard x jack x miranda like way after me3 its gonna take a long time for jack and miranda to see past their differences and they need their character arcs from 3 completed to do that <3

As for minor stuff charr x....does that asari even have a name? Omg...idk if she does

Benezia x aethyta obviously <3 women <3

Also samara x me thats my space wife

Also this is a bit of a rant bit of a spoiler for me3 so im putting it under the cut its about jacob and kaidan tho

So obviously a lot of people are justifiably unhappy with Jacob cheating on shepard in me3 for like a lot of reasons :( jacob always got the short end of the stick with biowares writing and most people dont care enough to be angry about it so talking about jacob is dominated by people who call him boring among other things :/

Really from a story perspective i dont mind jacob moving on and dating cole it just should have been handled way way better like

Either theyre not already in a relationship when shepard arrives unless shepard didnt romance jacob

If shepard did romance jacob shes got the option of breaking it off and being like hey bestie go get cole because jacob is having trouble wanting to protect people and also settle down the way shepard cant or shepard can also be like we'll have time you know? The way shes kind of like with liara?

Or because wow 6 months between me2 and me3 when Jacob knows shepard is still alive is a weird time to move on you give this whole sub plot to kaidan

Like its been two years between me1 and me2 and shepard was declared dead for good fucking reason give kaidan romanced or not a girlfriend or a boyfriend because hes a bicon

Kaidans even more conflicted than ever the timing makes sense and it really hones it that almost everyone has moved on from shepard and jacob is no longer a cheater because man....that was a weird decision all around to say the least

As for a kaidan romance in me3 idk maybe they broke up and hes like oh man was it the right decision was it because of shepard what if i went with you idk i havent figured that part out yet but ive thought this out trust me

#Mass effect

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husband-steve-cortez · 3 years

Text

I also love this line, partly because even now Kaidan is trying to give what I feel is genuine advice, that beneath everything happening here Kaidan is worried about Shepard and that's what's driving him to argue with them. And on a more personal about my Shepard level: HE HAS MILES 100% CLOCKED. And he knows it, he knows how Miles is about these types of things, and Miles knows Kaidan knows him and knows he's kind of right but he's too goddamn angry with him and at everything going on in his life to accept it. Miles absolutely 100% feels like he owes Cerberus, and he is going to look away from and ignore every questionable thing about them because look at all they've done and are doing for me, they gave me another chance, gave me another Normandy, an amazing crew, they're helping me strike back against the reapers while no one else is, they're looking out for humanity. A part of him knows better, and a voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Kaidan is going to keep nagging at him to not get too close, to remember himself and hold on to his integrity, and that voice partially wins out as Miles will eventually cut ties with the Illusive Man and bring the Normandy with him to the Alliance to after a certain relay incident. But Miles won't regret working with Cerberus one bit until Mars in the third game. He's going to really feel like shit after Sanctuary.

#oc: Miles Shepard #Miles me2 #there is a whole other post to be written #about how while Miles is really similar to Kaidan he is also DEEPLY similar to Miranda #in particular with the whole almost liking being referred to as a tool. He also likes to know where he fits in #there's part of him still in the derogatory mindset that he's just some piece of trash from the gutters of earth #and he has to constantly rise above that #he was previously 'grateful' to the alliance for making him more #in a very similar way to how he's grateful to Cerberus now #and I think this is something he's sort of confessed to Kaidan unintentionally #and it's why Kaidan knows damn well that's what's happening now #that will come when I write my Miranda post later

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theoriginalladya · 4 years

Note

Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss. Rydenko

from this list

On AO3 here

Thank you so much for asking this, my friend!!!!! Hope you enjoy it!

Under cut for length ... because you know me, it got looooooooong! lol

~~~

“So, you and Reyes … you know each other?”

It’s a simple enough question, probably a little too simple in all honesty because it’s obvious by the way the two men react to one another they do, but Scott wants to confirm it all the same.

The Pathfinder, however, wants anything but and heads out of Tartarus like he’s a varren with his tail on fire. Scott has to scramble quickly to keep up with him, nearly tripping over his own feet as he makes his way through the slums. He’ll give the man this much; he’s quick; and that’s without using his biotics to clear a path first. Two more steps and Scott catches up, starts to reach for him in an effort to slow him down, but his hand drops to his side when Kaidan spins around and glares. Scott swallows convulsively. “Look, all I mean is …”

“Yes.” If the Pathfinder could growl, that’s the sound he makes now; a mix of irritation, reluctance and something else Scott can’t quite put a name to. Whatever it is, though, it’s clear the other man doesn’t want to talk about it. Without another word, he heads off toward the Nomad, away from Scott, Reyes, and Kadara. Once more, he shifts to silent-mode, effectively throwing up a shield barrier between them.

But Scott is persistent. Almost too persistent at times. An old Earth expression, one he recalls his mother telling his father when Scott was young, comes to mind; Don’t poke a sleeping bear. Sara teases him he’s not the brightest bulb in the pack at times, pushing ahead when he would do better to wait or withdraw and regroup. Hell, right now, even he can practically see the steam leaking out of Kaidan’s ears. Scott hesitates, not wanting to provoke him – which isn’t his intention at all – but, something about the exchange between the two men back in Tartarus back there set off alarm bells in Scott’s head for reasons he can’t quite fathom. Alarm bells of a more personal kind. Given the fact Scott and the Pathfinder have been working toward reestablishing a … relationship, of sorts – if it can be called that at this stage – this pretty much falls under the need to know category.

Kaidan’s pace slows as they near the Nomad. The vehicle is empty; Liam isn’t anywhere within sight, and Cora already warned she was running a few minutes behind in the markets. That equates to the perfect opportunity to continue the discussion, to Scott’s way of thinking. Assuming, of course, he doesn’t send the man into a full blown rage. He’s seen Kaidan angry once and only once; the history of L2s is notorious no matter which galaxy he’s in. Not that he held that one time against the man; it was necessary in the moment, and more than a little likely neither of them would have survived had Kaidan not lost his cool. Still, this time around, Scott has little desire to have it aimed directly at him.

His mother’s voice returns in his head. Anything worth having is a risk. Scott smirks. Somehow, he doubts she had this sort of situation in mind when she shared that bit of wisdom. Then again, nothing changes the fact he needs information, or as much as he can pry free of the entirely too private man standing before him, and no other options really exist.

Scott clears his throat, replying in a deceptively casual and very dry tone, “Ah. Went that well, did it?”

Kaidan mutters something Scott can’t hear because he opens the hatch to the Nomad and ducks inside for a moment. When he returns, the scowl is still present, and his eyes narrowed. On him. “Do you have a point?”

Shit … target locked. Mouth suddenly dry, Scott swallows and averts his gaze for a moment. He isn’t afraid of him – far from it – but there is a difference between knowing that and actually believing it, and in this moment, Scott’s head has trouble believing. He runs a hand through his hair, chuckling awkwardly. “A point? Ah, a point. Yes. Well, I do, actually, believe it or not.”

Kaidan leans against the side of the Nomad, arms folded across his broad chest, but says nothing. He doesn’t really need to, to be honest; his body language is quite … decisive.

“Right.” Scott swallows again. “Um … point. Right.” Shit, how do I say this? “Well, you see … I mean, I know it’s never come up before.” One of Kaidan’s thick eyebrows arches, all question, his undivided attention directed at Scott. Breathing is harder, and for some reason Scott can’t quite explain, all he wants to do is kiss the man, make him relax, chase away the after effects of this inherently bad idea he should never have started in the first place. His twin isn’t ever going to let him live this down when she hears of it. Scott’s tongue darts out to wet his lips briefly before he tries again. “Erm …”

Kaidan pushes off the Nomad and takes two steps in Scott’s direction, closing the distance. He stops only when he hovers right in front of Scott’s face, less than an inch between them. Kaidan’s breath fans over Scott’s cheeks, warm and soft, and as he catches his breath, Ryder’s gaze falls to Kaidan’s lips. So tempting. Inviting. Drawing in a deep breath is nearly impossible with him this close, and fighting off the urge to kiss him takes every ounce of willpower he can muster. Which, come to think of it, isn’t all that much …

Oh hell.

Closing his eyes, Scott leans in and brushes Kaidan’s lips with his own. The soft flutter of their biotic fields intersecting tingles delightfully, pulls a soft groan, though Scott can’t tell where it originates. Almost as soon as it starts, however, Scott pulls back. His eyes remain shut, his chest heaves, and he rasps roughly, “Sorry!” while frantically taking a step backwards, seeking space. “I –.”

He stops when an arm slides around his hip and holds him securely. The other moves beneath his chin and tips upward; not with force, but gentle urgency nonetheless. Reluctantly, Scott opens his eyes, opens his mouth to try to apologize again, but is stopped by a finger over his lips.

“Yes, Reyes and I met before,” Kaidan tells him, voice low but the anger gone. “A … professional encounter, I guess you could say. Things did not go well; we didn’t part on what I’d call good terms. I wasn’t expecting to find him in Andromeda, of all places.”

Scott’s lungs finally cooperate, expanding with air, leaving him gasping softly in the process, but otherwise silent.

Kaidan sighs and Scott notices the change immediately; all tension flees and he relaxes, or comes as close to relaxing as he can, in one breath. There’s even a hint of a teasing smile at the corner of his lips as he lifts his hand and lightly runs his finger down the side of Scott’s temple. “There is no need for you to be jealous, you know.”

“Jealous?” Scott’s eyes widen in shock. “I’m … I’m not! I wasn’t! I –!”

Kaidan guides Scott to sit on the edge of the Nomad at which point he leans in to kiss him again. Scott’s pretty certain the groan that escapes this time is from him, and he wraps his fingers around Kaidan’s armor and tugs him closer. The soft hint of Kaidan’s laughter washes over him as they pull apart.

“You are,” Kaidan replies knowingly. “But you know what?”

Scott huffs, pouting. “What?”

A smug smile curls across Kaidan’s lips. “That’s okay.”

Scott inhales slowly, tilting his head to the side. “It is?”

“Yes.”

He blinks owlishly up at the Pathfinder. “Why would me being jealous be okay? I mean … if I was. Which I’m not.” He frowns. Am I?

“Scott.”

Looking up at him again, Scott searches Kaidan’s face. The anger and irritation is all gone – hey, a win for the home team, that has to count for something, right? – replaced by something Scott still can’t put a name to, but it’s softer than he’s used to seeing. Relaxation, yes, but something more. Relief? “Hmm?”

“Like I said, it’s okay.”

“Why?”

Kaidan kisses him again, just a light brushing of lips this time. “Because it lets me know you are immune.”

That … isn’t what he expects. He’s really confused now. “Immune to what?”

“To Reyes.”

The sound of footsteps heading in their direction alert them both they have little time left for a private discussion. But he can’t let this go, not just yet. “What do you mean, Reyes? What’s he got to do with this? Other than me being jealous of him and you, which I’m not, but –.”

Kaidan steps back and smiles. As it reaches his eyes, and Scott’s full attention is now solely on him, it suddenly clicks. Jumping to his feet, he hisses, “Wait … you mean … you’re jealous, too?”

A hint of a flush in Kaidan’s cheeks is the only direct reply. “Time to hit the road,” he calls out, raising his voice. Both Cora and Liam come into view a moment later, and they climb inside the Nomad, leaving Kaidan and Scott outside.

Before Kaidan moves past him, Scott catches him by the arm. “You are, aren’t you?” he whispers.

But Kaidan’s Pathfinder face is back in place. “We’ll discuss it later…”

#writing prompts #ladya writes #Scott Ryder #Kaidan Alenko #Rydenko #kissing #Andromeda #Mass Effect #thank you so much!#also for introducing me to these two!!!#because they are such wonderful dorks I can't stand it!!! lol #mallaidhsomo

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nothisis-ridiculous · 3 years

Text

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Six

Chapter Six: In Your Head, They are Fightin'

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"What defines life?"

The patter of rain against the metal hull made it sound far more impressive than the sprinkle that fell from the sky. It threatened to get darker and heavier with time, but Jane wasn't pressed to move any faster. The cold was pleasant to her throbbing head, offering at least some relief to that problem? Should she see the new medic? Yes. Would she? No.

"Your entire campaign against your destiny was to save the creatures of your cycle. So why reject the choice to synthesize?"

Jane placed her hand on the cold ground, staring at the veins that crossed over the metacarpals—observing the changes her gentle flexing made in the patterns, meekly tempting her brain to another task.

"Did the Geth not allow the Quarians to survive?"

Right, she had not considered how she had fucked the Quarian race. Was Rannoch a waste of time? Legion's loss just a pointless burden on her heart.

"EDI saved you and your crew countless times. Did she not deserve happiness?"

Joker. Being without her would have crushed him. They were so happy.

"It was an easy choice, a selfless one. The Galaxy could have lived in peace, thrived into a utopia beyond your imagining!"

A galaxy without her.

Without-

"You acted selfishly. Again. Williams. The Geth. EDI. All sacrificed for one. For the mere chance you might get to feel his embrace once more. How many others will never feel the embrace of the ones they love because of your actions? Because you thought yourself above them all."

It stung with white-hot intensity in her veins, burning and peeling through her blood and nervous system. Then, as quickly as it flared, followed the cold chill of nothing—absence from the blinding heat. Try as she would to reason against this vein of thought, she could not deny it. Her choice was selfish.

Kaidan had begged her not to leave him behind, the fibre of her soul knew that heartbreak. So many times she had been left behind, left as the last one standing. The Commander wouldn't do that to him, wouldn't let him be left with her loss once more. She didn't want to; between the three years they had known each other, they had spent a scant few weeks actively enjoying each other. It was nice. Mary needed that gentleness. Her life was little more than gunfire and blood without him.

Further down, in the depths of her consciousness, she would do anything for the chance to be with him again.

It made perfect sense that she stood alone again.

Karma is a bitch.

"I didn't want to believe the Lieutenant when he said you would be here," Silva tried to speak gently, but it still woke the human from her stupor, "I'm still amazed that the crucible managed to take these things down. One, sure. There must be hundreds, thousands..."

The human didn't respond, keeping her gaze firmly forward.

"Earth to Jane," no response, so Silva tried the physical approach with a claw on the shoulder, "Recruit, Human. Homo Sapien."

"Silva?"

"What's got you down? I don't know if it's the same for you soft species, but this wet sensation is no fun."

"It's nothing."

"It's always nothing."

"You sound like the LT," Jane gruffed, forcing herself up stiffly.

"Oh no, people are concerned about you!"

"Silva," her pitched heightened, "I'm not interested in- I'm not-"

The turian was frozen, her pupils narrowing.

The crunch of concrete pulled them from the moment, both watching as a trio of Krogan approached, led by the green crested jack ass. Jane pushed herself in front of the turian, meeting the Krogan head-on.

"Do Turians not keep their females locked away?" the krogan stepped into Jane's space, dwarfing her comparatively petite frame, " you would think they do. You never see them."

He huffed, nudging the human aside once she did not cower, "or do the cuttlebones hide them because they are ashamed of what they are breeding with?" The krogan touched the stiff turian, running a single digit down her petrified face.

"Shame they don't hide the phage-lucky krogan from the rest of us," Jane interrupted cooly, "I thought your species liked strength, not to be represented by a weak pyjak."

The alien whipped around, snarling at the offending human, charging at it with breakneck speed. She had no time to dodge, her back absorbing the blow as she ground into the Reaper's hull. At least the screaming was not her own, she felt a shocking amount of nothing. The first returning feeling was hope, hope that this would be her last fight. Her body refused to respond as it was flung to the ground, green's foot hurling for her unprotected skull.

It missed, thudding impotently to the right of her ear. Silva shrieked as she dislodged the Krogan, flailing against the creature as she attempted to grab for the sensitive spot on his crest. Her talons could function as a crude knife without another option to fight against her foe. The krogan's strength overcame the turian's surprise attack, but without a rolling dodge, the female's head ground beneath the male's heel—the crack of a mandible stirring the Commander's body into moving.

Mary charged with near full biotic force into the krogan, sending them both tumbling into an outstretched Reaper leg. The child's scream that erupted from it ignored in the rush of hormones screeching in her system and the sudden swirling of her vision. She wanted to go down, fighting with all her strength to keep her consciousness from slipping into the void. Blood dripped from her nose, the coppery taste in her mouth indicating an approximate amount. It wasn't the time to be weak she would hold on.

The krogan grinned pitifully.

In return, her face cracked against a hard elbow, warm blood pooling clouding her eyesight.

Luckily, Jane's scrap was finished. Rough claws pulled her from green crest, pushing her into the soft warmth of a human figure. Masculine shouting whirled with the tilting of her entire axis, her vision clearing in the sight of comforting whiskey-colored irises.

"Alen-"

"Jane," he finally breathed, trying to push the blood from her eyelids, "what the hell are you-"

The man's attention turned to the next group of onlookers to arrive to the party. Word traveled much faster with restored short-range communications; his grip tightened on his Recruit, keeping the teetering and fragile form from keeling over.

"Wrex, this is the last straw- we demand something be done!" A metallic voice rising above the rest. The angry turian pointing an accusing finger at the Krogan leader.

"The human attacked me first; your female joined in!" the defendant cried, "you just hate my kind."

"Shut your trap. Damned varren brained whelp," Wrex challenged the green crest, pushing the youth back to the ground, "what do I do? Throw out one of my own? I need every krogan for my people to survive."

"You krogan think of no one but yourselves! Your kind, like your subordinate, deserves what came to you," the turian leader returned.

"I could snap you open and slurp out your meat, Turian!" Wrex threatened, closing the distance between the two leaders.

"Fellows, could we-" Roy's relatively weak pleas fell to the wayside.

"Brutality, predictable."

Evelyn scrambled from behind the Reaper's derelict leg, rushing between the groups for those of her own kind. Pulling a moment of tension from the warring factions, each eye watched the child run to the Lieutenant, replacing Jane in his grasp. The woman stumbled toward the aliens, glancing up at the taller creatures beneath a veil of blood. Both too curious to stop her from wedging between them.

"Look at what we are becoming, fucking bickering old men. Are we going to let old prejudices do what the Reapers couldn't?" Jane's index finger pressed into Wrex's armour, "we have a chance to see a brighter future. Peace. Children. Why are we letting the little things divide us now? If we want that future to come faster, we have to survive now, we have to work together. Didn't the krogan help the turian's on Palaven? Let our children see us getting along, not be stunted by another conflict."

Jane proffered her hand to the fallen krogan.

He retaliated by bashing her skull.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It wouldn't go answered; in the moment between Jane going out cold crashing to the ground and Wrex blasting the whelp point blank with a shotgun blast in the knee cap, the little girl bolted for the krogan. Slamming with all her might, meeting him forehead to forehead.

"Heh, this little one has the spirit of a Warlord." Wrex ignored how the child clutched at her forehead and the tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. The very adult swear going without punishment from her human guardian.

"This fighting dishonors Shepard," Grunt commented gently.

The Krogan leader nodded solemnly. The Turian bowed his head, and Roy's throat bobbed his head turned conveniently away for a brief moment.

"This 'krogan' dishonors Shepard," Wrex conceded, with the air quotes so quickly adopted from human culture, "you aren't worth the thermal clip. If you are seen within a click of this place again, I won't hesitate to let the Turian use you as target practice."

Green shell limped away.

"I think these terms should be acceptable," Silva peeped, throwing a stern glance at the Turian general.

"My men will be on the lookout if he returns," at the moment, he refused to immediately concede but retreated with his posse. Urging Silva along with them, she followed after Roy sent her along with a nod.

Wrex's gaze swept up to the old man, "you've got a handful with your young."

"I surely do, but I couldn't imagine having hundreds like you Krogan."

"Don't remind me," Wrex retorted with sudden dread, but a smile passed over his features, glancing at the human on the ground, "she reminds me of an old friend, always in the middle of a conflict. If they are anything alike, that one is trouble."

"She's proven to be worth it."

#fshenko #mass effect fancition #female shepard x kaidan #shenko #mass effect spoilers #fanfic #kaidan alenko #take me home

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kaidans-alenko · 3 years

Text

Migraine

A one shot for my childhood friends au dealing with Kaidan’s first migraine after getting his implant.

AO3 Link

Eileen rubbed Kaidan’s back as he hacked up his breakfast from earlier, she had him eat something to help get his medicine down easier but she feared that only made things worse. She helped him to the sink to wash his mouth out best he could without being able to open his eyes. Kaidan clutched the sides of the sink so hard his knuckles turned white, his head feeling like it would explode, tears forming in the corner of his eyes from the pain. “Can I lie down now?” his voice mimicking that of a child’s rather than the deep one he’s developed in the past couple years and he barely recognized it.

“Of course sweetie, come on.” Luckily his room and bathroom were attached so he didn’t have to go far and luckily Kaidan was neat for a boy his age and there wasn’t anything for them to trip over as they walked through the pitch dark room and to his bed. Eileen had turned on the bathroom light briefly while they were in there but it wasn’t long until he had practically begged her to turn it off. It was rare of her to get overly angry but right now she wanted to find the name of whoever it was that developed this implant and give them a piece of her mind for putting her baby through so much pain.

The doctors had told them he was relatively lucky, most kids either didn’t live through the procedure or the side effects were much worse and while that may be true, it was no reason to trivialize the pain he was in and Kaidan wasn’t exactly feeling well enough at the time to smart off like he had a tendency to do, she knew he didn’t consider himself lucky and neither did she.

“Coach is gonna be mad if I miss practice again.” He said, voice muffled by the pillow he instinctively buried his face into. Made it a tad hard to breathe but it blocked out whatever light managed to sneak in either through the curtains or from the crack in his bedroom door.

Eileen frowned as she sat on the bed next to him, running a hand through his hair and his muscles relaxed, he never knew if he found her perfume comforting because of the scent in general or because his mother wore it but the answer suddenly became very obvious. “I’m sure he’ll understand, it’s not like it’s your fault you’ve been gone.”

Kaidan cracked a bitter smile “He already didn’t want a biotic on his team, i’m sure this’ll be reason enough to kick me off.”

“Kaidan…”

“So much for that baseball scholarship.” he chuckled “although what school would want a biotic anyway, better to just give it to one of the normal kids on the team.” he’d been called a freak more times than he can count to the point he felt stupid for even hoping for a ‘normal’ future like the rest of them, he’d probably have to end up in the Alliance, turned into some human weapon. It wasn’t what he wanted but he wasn’t naive to believe his life could have any other outcome. It wasn’t fair, his sister got to do what she wanted and he knew it wasn’t right to be mad at her, it was just bad luck he ended up this way but it didn’t mean he couldn’t be upset over it.

“You don��t know that.” She said in an attempt to comfort him.

‘Yes I do!’ he wanted to yell but he bit his tongue, his mom was just trying to comfort him and yelling at one of the few people who still saw him as human wasn’t going to solve anything “Yeah...I guess not, sorry mom.”

She leaned over, kissing his head “Don’t apologize sweetie, you’re right to be angry, anyone would be.”

Kaidan sighed “Thanks…”

Eilleen tucked him in “I’ll let you sleep some more, if you need anything just call for me okay?” she said as she stood up.

“Okay…” his eyes fluttered shut as she closed the door behind her, better to get some sleep than think about all the ways being a human biotic sucked, that would only make his headache worse and he certainly didn’t want that.

---------------------------

Azalea sat at her usual seat on the bus, backpack in her lap so Kaidan had room to sit next to her, they went to different schools now but still took the same bus route so she at least got to see him every morning and after school but lately, she looked down at the floor slowly kicking her legs back and forth, lately he’s been gone, she knew why of course he had to get some kind of procedure done, he didn’t go into much detail but he disappeared right after that incident in his gym class. She wasn’t there for it obviously but she went to see him in the hospital after school that day and he looked so...so distraught, she’d never seen him like that before.

Kaidan didn’t talk to her or look at her while she was there but he didn’t shoo her out of the room either, she could only think he was ashamed, worried about what she thought of him because of his powers but he needn't be. She knew it was an accident, had to have been, he wouldn’t have hurt people like that on purpose, that wasn’t the type of person he was.

Azalea kept her head down as the last of the students filed onto the bus, glancing up now and again to spot Kaidan but he never came, had she gotten the day wrong? Azalea checked their most recent messages, Wednesday, he said he’d be back Wednesday but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was taking an extra day to recover, that had to be it.

Azalea quickly typed up a message on her omni-tool: I hope you’re feeling better, I’d like to see you if I could so let me know, no pressure of course but I just wanted to tell you I miss you :,)

She sighed and sat back in her seat feeling a tad disappointed “Oh well…” she said with a sigh as she looked out the window, there wasn’t much Azalea had to look forward to everyday but seeing Kaidan was one of those things.

She absentmindedly reached for the earrings that dangled from her ears. They were purple and silver, Kaidan saved up the money from his part time job and bought them for her birthday, it was the only present she received that day, his mother later found out and scolded him while they ate the cake she made for Azalea the weekend after.

She remembered crying when she got home, her own mother forgot her birthday but people who weren’t even blood related celebrated it with her, like it was a special day and when she asked why they went so far Kaidan told her it’s because she’s his best friend and that he’s happy she was born. It was the first time anyone has ever said that to her, her mother called her a nuisance, never hugged her or even cared about her so hearing it was strange. It left her with a warm fuzzy feeling only Kaidan could give her, it’s probably why she developed such a crush on him, the way he said things no one else ever had to her, she probably just getting her feelings of adoration confused with love but how nice would it be if he loved her too.

Azalea was fond of books like that, maybe because they did remind her of Kaidan and their friendship, she knew he read silly books like that too, they were stashed away in the back of his bookshelf but she’s nosey and knows that room better than her own. Kaidan was embarrassed but he still let her borrow them, maybe he was just relieved she didn’t tease him for it, but if anything she found it cute that he read those.

The bus halted to a stop and she remained seated, making sure she was the last one in line to step off like usual.

--------------------------------------------

Later that day Azalea got off at the same bus stop Kaidan usually did, understandably she hadn’t gotten a reply back and maybe she was over stepping but Mrs. Alenko

always say she was welcome and there was nothing wrong with being worried about her friend, right? Azalea hesitated before ringing the doorbell, something in the back of her mind telling her that knocking might be a better idea. Taking a deep breath she knocked lightly on the door, hoping someone was close enough to hear and it wasn’t long before Kaidan’s mother appeared on the other side, seemingly surprised to see Azalea.

“Come to check on Kaidan I assume?” She asked with a smile.

Azalea nodded “Yes ma’am, sorry for coming unannounced.”

Eileen stepped out of the way, allowing her inside “Don’t apologize dear, you know you’re welcome any time.” she told her as she closed the door.

“Is he doing okay?”

She sighed, Kaidan probably wouldn’t want her to know, wouldn’t want her to worry but it didn’t feel right keeping her in the dark about everything. “It’s taking him longer to recover from his surgery than we thought.”

Azalea’s face fell “Is he still at the hospital?”

His mother shook her head “He’s home just not feeling very well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He has a migra….headache, hasn’t left his room all day because of it.” Eileen told her.

“Oh no…”

“He was asleep last time I checked on him.”

Azalea fidgeted with the hem of her sweater “Oh...okay, well I can go, I hadn’t heard from him and got concerned.”

“Let me see how he’s feeling, I know he’d be disappointed to hear he missed you.” She patted her on the shoulder gently as she walked past her to Kaidan’s room. “Kaidan sweetie? Azalea is here.” she whispered, peeking her head into the room.

Kaidan rolled over on his back “She is?”

“She’s worried about you, would you like me to bring her by?”

Kaidan nodded “Yeah, I miss her.” under normal circumstances he probably wouldn’t have said that out loud, at least not to his mother.

“I thought you might.” She chuckled as she went to get Azalea.

Kaidan toyed with the bracelet around his wrist, Azalea made it for him a while back, it consisted of purple and blue yarn, their favorite colors. A friendship bracelet she said, told him he didn’t have to wear it if he didn’t want to but it meant a lot to him, still means a lot to him...Azalea meant a lot to him.

“Kaidan?” Almost on cue her voice cut through the dark, quiet room.

Kaidan propped himself up “Lea.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked, walking over to his bed.

“Better than I was this morning.” He told her, scooting over so she had a place to sit.

Azalea nodded “I was worried when I didn’t see you, I sent a message but I figured you hadn’t looked at it yet.”

Kaidan shook his head “Not yet, sorry.”

“No, don’t be! I was just…” she looked away, face pink “I was just worried, that’s all.”

Kaidan lifted up the comforter, inviting her to join him under the covers and she did without hesitation “I’m glad you came by Azalea, I missed you.” he told her with the best smile he could muster.

Azalea smiled back, taking note of his bloodshot eyes, his mother said it was just a headache but is that all it really was? She wasn’t so sure but it was best not to press the issue, right now anyway. “I missed you too, I'm glad to see you’re okay.”

“For the most part anyway.” he said, pressing their foreheads together.

“Will I get to see you tomorrow?” She asked.

“Count on it, we can even stop by the park tomorrow if you want.”

Azalea’s amethyst eyes lit up “Promise?”

Kaidan nodded, linking their pinkies together “Promise.”

#kaidan alenko #azalea shepard #f!shenko #trilogyappreciationweek #mass effect fanfiction

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