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springagainafter · 9 days

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Chatting with Liara post-Therum!

For her ME1 romance, I am absolutely taking artistic liberties and am bending canon a little.

This is mostly because 1) she only gets three conversations 2) she spends a lot of time worrying about her lack of romantic experience and/or explaining how the romantic version of asari melding works and 3) her explanation takes up pretty much her entire third conversation.

I think the intended dynamic is opposites attract (Liara says at one point that she and Shepard have "almost nothing in common"), but there is no dialogue with fun multiple choice answers to a personal question (a la Ash's "why are you here?" question) and I had trouble picking out any dialogue where they bond over the same thing besides the mutual "I'm attracted to you" part.

So instead I am going for "similar personalities and similar social experiences during schooling and deciding on a job because of their families but picking wildly different career paths."

Anyway, Merrick's first conversation with Liara was pretty brief. He checked in to see how she was doing, she said she was going to be fine and they briefly discussed Dr. Chakwas, and she thanked him for saving her from the geth and he said he was glad they got there in time.

The game has Shepard immediately refer to her by her first name (in contrast to Ash and Kaidan, who get referred to as Williams and Alenko) but I am ignoring that in favor of Merrick gravely referring to her as "Dr. T'Soni" for quite a while, which is mostly a respect thing and only a little bit of a "avoiding calling her by her first name because I'm attracted to her and getting involved is not a great idea and I'm not even sure if she's interested anyway" thing.

Merrick sets her up with How To Not Die On Missions lessons with Kaidan (biotics, specifically in terms of having to use lethal force) and Ash (how armor works, hand-to-hand combat).

The intention there - besides teaching Liara how to not die - is to confirm Liara really isn't working for her mother or Saren and is who she says she is and to quickly get her to trust the other two and vice versa.

It does not take long at all before Ash (who is disinclined to trust Liara's story since her own family is super close) and Kaidan (who likes Liara but is not attracted to her, aside from the whole "he has eyes and can see she's pretty" aspect) - both go "yeah, she's definitely telling the truth" and they and Merrick are content that this is the right conclusion.

Liara still gets side-eyed by the rest of the crew for a bit but Merrick and Ash and Kaidan make it a point to demonstrate that they trust her and eventually the rest of the crew buys into that.

In the meantime, Liara does point out the crew's distrust to Merrick.

Liara: I know you took a chance bringing me aboard this ship. I have seen the way your crew looks at me. They do not trust me. Liara: But I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren. I promise.

(Her first conversation is not strictly a romance one but oooo, first instance of one of the two of them making a promise to the other person - either by specifically saying "I promise" or implying it. Which continues into LotSB and 3!)

Shepard: Don't worry, Liara. I trust you. I know you won't let me down.

(This seems like such a very trusting thing for Shepard to say when she's *just* gotten on the ship, hence my it's-been-a-few-days-and-there's-been-a-consensus-with-Ash-and-Kaidan headcanon.)

Liara: It means a lot to hear you say that, Commander. Thank you.

Liara mostly calls him Commander ingame throughout this convo and then Shepard at one point; in my headcanon she instead calls him Commander for quite a while, which is mostly a respect thing and only a little bit of a "I'm attracted to him but trying not to blurt that out and therefore referring to him only by his rank" thing. (Everyone else - except Anderson, who occasionally uses his first name - calls him either Commander or Shepard all the time so she blends right in).

#springy plays mele #Merrick Shepard #Merrick immediately going 'oh no I like her' and throwing her at Ash and Kaidan since they can better judge whether she's trustworthy #her actual first conversation is Very Long #I played through it and went 'she is not telling him All That right away'#the game gives me zero 'hey same experience!' dialogue options with her but #he and Liara have the same 'I'm trapped at a school/work social function and cannot leave. the refreshment table is my only friend' memory #only separated by time and space XD

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thelostgirl21 · 3 years

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Oh. My. Frakking. God... Over a decade after Mass Effect first came out, I’ve only just realized now that Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko is literally the main reason Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams joined The Normandy’s crew, and was handed that assignment.

You guys don’t understand, okay! I have SO MANY FEELS ABOUT THIS!

Basically, Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko is listed as being the Head of the SSV Normandy’s Marine detail in ME1, right?

Given I had absolutely no clue what detail officers did, I did a bit of research... And OMFG!

Basically, if I adapt the description I found to fit the Systems Alliance reality:

“Detailers are the [Marines]’ advocate, and [they] take into consideration everything [they] can to ensure [they] are providing the right ‘fit’ for each billet [note: a “billet” is a specific personnel position, assignment, or duty station which may be filled by one person] advertised on the [Career Management System-Interactive Detailing] CMS-ID.

[They] evaluate each [Marine]’s professional milestones and take into consideration a [Marine]’s personal aspirations and stated preferences. There are a number of variables unique to each and every one of us in the [Marines] – from our personal situations: whether we’re single, married, dual-military couple, single parent, same-sex spouse, [Eligible Family Member], whatever – to our professional standing: does a [Marine] have the proper qualifications for that particular job, or do they require training; is a [Marine] a roller to sea duty or shore duty; will this be the best job for the [Marine] and is this the best [Marine] for the command; etc.

For two equally qualified [Marines], we would give selection preference to the one that was ranked higher during the gaining command’s review/comment phase.”

[...]

“When a detailer has selected a [Marine] for a billet, a notification is sent to that [Marine]. [...] Once a [Marine] has been selected, then posted to the billet, the order writing process begins, ultimately ending in the [Marine] receiving a set of orders.”

At the beginning of the first game, I remembered something about Captain Anderson having mentioned that he added Ashley Williams to the Normandy’s crew because Lieutenant Alenko believed that the ship could use a good soldier like her, but never actually realized just how instrumental Kaidan had been to Anderson’s decision.

Basically, from what I understand, as the head of the Normandy’s Marine detail, Kaidan’s actual job would literally be to assess which Marine soldiers would be best suited for any open position or assignment on board of the Normandy SSV, and then be the one to hand them their new position / assignment / duty / orders.

Meaning that the actual reason that Gunnery Chief Williams joined the Normandy’s crew, is likely because Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko watched her in action, saw something in her, came back to the ship to take a look at her file, paid a lot of attention to her family history, her military aspirations, her service records, etc.

Kaidan likely noticed the glaring discrepancy between her impeccable performance reviews, and her lack of career advancement opportunities.

He probably saw the number of times Ashley had been submitting applications for a transfer to a shipboard posting to prior detail officers, and been denied these posts...

And there he is... mourning the death of a friend, sure... but the motherfrakking head of the Normandy’s Marine detail!

The Normandy, a.k.a. the Alliance’s fastest and most technologically advanced starship yet, that so happens to suddenly be having a vacant position for a soldier that needs filling.

Please do yourselves all a favor...

Imagine Kaidan studying Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams’ dossier, reading her prior position applications... and through the haze of all those unspeakable horrors he’s just witnessed on Eden Prime, there’s suddenly this little beacon of light and hope unexpectedly shining right before his eyes...

As a L2 biotic born into a military family, Kaidan Alenko might even have suddenly found, in Ashley Williams, a kindred spirit. Someone that had, until then, been treated with heavy suspicion and distrust by others, simply because of her being perceived as “different” than the other soldiers serving alongside her.

And because of a set of given circumstances, Kaidan finds himself with the power to do something about it. He finds himself having the required level of authority to become the first military detailing officer to actually care about Ashley’s own career aspirations, and the path that she’s been stubborn enough to keep on pursuing despite all the resistance she’s been faced with until now.

Unlike all those other detail officers that have kept denying her shipboard posting applications, he can actually fulfill his role of being her advocate, arguing in favor of her being assigned to the Normandy and offered responsibilities that are better suited for her actual training and qualifications, and ensuring that Williams is assigned to a post that actually makes good use of her outstanding abilities, talents, and dedication as a soldier.

Imagine him smiling to himself, being the little stubborn shit that he is, as he realizes that he’s just about to assign Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams - General Williams’ granddaughter, of all people - to join the crew of one of the greatest marvels of human-TURIAN engineering!

Now, also imagine Ashley’s own surprise, when she discovered that the head of the Normandy’s Marine detail was one of the two people she encountered on Eden Prime.

And that, unlike everything life had ever taught her to expect from those officers until then (including what her own father had been put through in his own career), Lieutenant Alenko was so impressed with her performance in the field, and her dossier, that he decided that she was the single best suited Marine in the whole Alliance for a job on the Normandy. And that Captain Anderson sufficiently trusted Lieutenant Alenko’s judgment in the matter to agree with him and welcome her on his ship (Shepard hadn’t been made a Spectre, yet).

On one hand, she’s just lost her whole unit to the geths, and Kaidan has just lost a friend, too.

On the other, she’s just been offered the career opportunity of a lifetime, when virtually no one ever gave her so much as a chance to explore and showcase her potential.

Once you know that, imagine Kaidan’s sense of pride and wonder as he watches her finally doing the job she’s always wanted to do, and being allowed to continue to grow and build her confidence and her skills as an Alliance Marine and soldier.

Imagine Ashley’s own sense of pride and wonder, as she suddenly finds herself fighting shoulder to shoulder with some of the very best soldiers and officers that the Alliance has ever trained, under the Command of the very first human Spectre.

Think about how the knowledge that Kaidan saw something in her the very first time they met - that had him go “Yup! That’s exactly the type of soldier the Normandy needs!”, and personally hand picked her out of all the other potential Marine candidates that could have had the required qualifications and training for the job - might be affecting her deep sense of friendship and respect towards him.

And imagine how Kaidan might find himself feeling naturally protective of Ashley - instinctively stepping into the role of a mentor and giving her every single opportunity to showcase her talents - while also doing his best to remain very open, laid back, and accessible around her.

Wanting to make sure she knows that she belongs with Shepard and his crew, and that they fully trust and feel at ease around her. That regardless of her family’s history, she’s got the right to carve her own path and that they all believe in her and are glad to have her on the team.

Revisit, if you will, all of their banter and the natural chemistry between them...

Take a moment to think about Kaidan playfully offering to “shoot someone to make her feel better”... About him expressing concern regarding whether she was still happy that she signed on with Commander Shepard, and about she inquiring about how his implant was holding up, and if he was okay...

And now, get ready to have your heart be shattered into a thousand tiny little pieces...

Because, if Ashley is the one that ends up dying on Virmire...

Then Kaidan will be spending the rest of his life knowing that the main reason Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was there on Virmire with them to begin with... was because of him.

And that, by wishing to allow her to finally be given a chance to advance her career within the Alliance - by assigning her to Jenkin’s vacant post when he saw that opening and allowing her to fulfill her lifelong dream of serving on board a starship - he was the one to accidentally lead her towards a premature death.

Her life, and career, ended before it truly had a chance to begin, all because he thought she was a formidable soldier that deserved more from the Alliance than what she’d gotten so far, and chose to ask for Anderson’s permission to have her being assigned to the Normandy.

And what’s worst is that she died, because Shepard chose to save him.

She could have lived. The outcome of his decision to offer her Jenkin’s old position could have been the beginning of a great military career and an opportunity for Ashley to become one of the very best soldiers the Alliance has ever known.

But because Shepard chose to go back for him and his team, rather than rescue Ashley’s, they’ll never know, won’t they?

She’s dead, he’s not. And now he’ll forever have to live with that.

I’ve sometimes discussed Kaidan having what appears to be a pretty strong case of “survivor’s guilt” (highlighted, in part, by one of his conversations with Tali in ME3)...

But the knowledge that Ashley died because he was virtually the first detail officer to truly believe in her, and to care about her career and aspirations enough to give her a chance to advance within the Alliance, must’ve been tearing him apart on top of everything else...

And if Kaidan is the one to die on Virmire...

Well, then Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko wasn’t just the very first detail officer to finally see Ashley for who she was, acknowledge her potential, and offer her a chance to follow her dreams and build herself an actual career within the Alliance...

But the “cost” of that career, and those opportunities, also ended up being his very own life.

Kaidan asked Anderson for permission to assign her to the Normandy... only for him to be left behind to die on Virmire, because Shepard didn’t have the time to rescue both teams, and he chose to save hers.

Taken within that context, it’s even more heartbreaking to hear Ashley tell Shepard: “I have to be worth Kaidan’s life.”

No wonder she seems to talk about him with such reverence, and in the French version of the game, literally says that a good guy like him should be among angels.

She saw him as her very own guardian angel, even in life...

“I don’t regret a thing” might also become something that either Kaidan or Ashley are saying more for the other’s benefit, rather than for Shepard themselves.

Kaidan doesn’t regret having selected Ashley for that position on The Normandy, regardless of the fact that he’ll no longer have the opportunity to actually be (physically, at the very least) there with her, as she pursues her career, and climbs within the Alliance’s ranks.

And Ashley doesn’t regret that Kaidan offered her that assignment, although she never got the chance to take it any further, and only lived that dream of hers to serve on a ship for such a short (but very intense) amount of time.

I’ve always adored the dynamic between these two... But somehow, knowing what Kaidan’s position on the SSV Normandy implied, and that he’s the one evaluating candidatures for other positions that need to be filled on the ship, and trying to assign the right candidate to each post...

Well, it brings such a wonderful, and yet excruciatingly bittersweet layer to their relationship...

(And I’ve never hated Virmire more than I do now, just so you know...)

#Kaidan Alenko #Ashley Williams #Mass Effect #Wilenko #fucknooovirmire #My Posts #My thoughts #Virmire survivors feels #Whyyy?!?!?!#My poor babies...#Now with added read more technology

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lady-byleth · 3 years

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I think my problem with the discourse of whether or not Ashley and Kaidan were right is that yall have an either or stance on it. Either they were completely inexcusable or they were 100% right

Both of these completely miss the point of the series. Because it's not supposed to be "one side is wrong, one side is right". It's always been about shades of grey and doing what was necessary even if others don't agree. It's about seeing the bigger picture.

Shepard works with Cerberus. Yes, at first glance this looks like a betrayal. But we know that Shepard agreed to it because whole colonies are being kidnapped by the Collectors - who are working for the Reapers - and the Alliance isn't doing anything about it because right now it's only happening outside of Alliance Space. It's actually a lot like why the Council didn't want to do anything about Eden Prime in the first game.

Shepard works with Cerberus because they want to help, Cerberus has resources and is willing to let them use everything. They get a new life, a crew, a ship. Not to mention that Joker confirms Council and Alliance weren't interested in following up on what Shepard discovered and preferred ignoring it.

These are the facts we know. These are also the facts Tali and Garrus learn. And as aliens they have a lot of reasons to distrust Cerberus, and they do quite openly, but they see the bigger picture. Which is that the Collectors are kidnapping hundreds of thousands of humans for unknown reasons, that the Reapers are involved and the only ones willing to do anything about it is the terrorist organization who brought Shepard back from the dead and let's them run wild with their resources.

Kaidan and Ashley don't have this information. The information they do have is simply "Shepard is alive and with Cerberus". This is something the Illusive Man deliberately leaked with the goal of alienating Shepard from the old crew. Hell, if Garrus hadn't dropped off the grid he'd probably have been fed false information too. And that Tali only becomes recruitable in the second half of the game implies the Illusive Man only saw her as a viable candidate because of her reaction to Shepard on Freedom's Progress.

But I digress. Kaidan and Ashley don't get the information that Garrus and Tali do. All they know is that Shepard is supposed to be dead but here they are, alive and kicking, working with Cerberus, who has been leaking false information. So yeah, they're upset.

Could they have reacted better and let Shepard explain what exactly was going on? Absolutely. Kaidan even admits seeing Shepard again sent him spinning and that he shut them down fast because of it.

Was their reaction understandable given the information available to them and situation at hand? Yes.

Did Garrus and Tali react better (I can't think of a more appropriate word here, curse you language barrier) than them despite having even more reason to distrust Cerberus? Also yes.

Long story short, Kaidan and Ashley didn't react great. But given the information they had and the circumstances they reacted in a way that was understandable. Not great, but understandable.

To be honest, I don't really blame either of them for losing their cool. If anything, what interests me more is how they act after getting the full story and having over six months to think about it.

#mass effect #edited

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dianapocalypse · 3 years

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so I’m having a very interesting (for me) mass effect legendary edition playthru and i wanna talk about it even tho no one but me will be interested so UNDER THE CUT WE GO!

this probably isn’t interesting to anyone but me but I wanted to write it down for posterity lol

so this time around, I spent a LONG TIME staring at the character creator, not even making anything. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to make my ‘main’ Shepard, play Jane just for the new model in ME1, or make a new Shep entirely. and if I did the last one, did I want to play differently this time??

i ended up making a shepard that was PRETTY similar to my main one. they’re both vanguards (didn’t want to learn a new kit bc my ability to hold a controller is pretty limited these days), both earthborn, same haircut but different overall appearances. this time I went war hero instead of sole survivor, since I’ve played those sidequests so many times at this point. I hit start and named her Kieran, not really knowing what I was going for with this shep and expecting I’d mostly make the same choices, romance garrus, etc

so the first few hours of the game I played p much like I always do. more paragon options than usual, but I attribute that more to me changing than character choices. I also started picking the middle options I always ignore just to see what they are. grabbed Liara, did bring down the sky, nothing new or unusual until I start talking to garrus.

is it just me, or does garrus.... kinda hit different in 2021? don’t get me wrong, still one of my favorite fictonal characters of all time, but also... garrus is a loose canon police officer who thinks regulations that, presumably, are in place to protect peoples’ rights, should be ignored for what he deems is the greater good. while we as players know garrus’s morals are in the right place, uh... if I met someone like that in real life I’d expect them to be a complete jackass. im also american so that contributes to my ill feelings towards police officers, and c-sec in the games is generally portrayed as being a much less awful organization than the american police state, but I’ve definitely gone from always supporting Garrus when he thinks a fucker needs to die to being like... garrus rules are there for a reason, people have RIGHTS

and then like. kieran shepard is earthborn, she was in gangs. she... probably doesn’t like cops either? my last shep was, too, but tbh I didn’t think about it all that much. for the first time I’m playing a shepard that does not trust garrus and that’s WILD.

so then I’m doing sidequests on the citadel, and earthborns get a gang member from their past who tries to blackmail shep into busting one of their members out of prison. for the first time ever, I actually didn’t have the paragon or renegade points necessary to resolve the situation in a ‘good’ way for me. I got to the end of it, and my only options were to bribe him to leave me alone, or shoot him.

i’ll say in my defense, I thought shoot him would be more ‘shoot him in the leg to show him i meant business’, but shep straight up killed him, and I was like, woah. I’m gonna have to figure out how to make THAT work with this character arc!

and the turian cop who he wants you to talk to, he’s right there, and says “wow, I guess maybe the first human spectre will get things done!’ or something, indicating like. that was the Right Thing To Do by his standards. just kill a dude in public for threatening blackmail.

so in role playing games, i try to justify decisions my characters make, even if it’s a decision that I didn’t make on purpose--it’s more fun for me to try to gather these disparate character choices and cohere them into a character than to try to get it ‘right’ for the character i’m playing, if that makes sense. so here, even tho I was definitely not intending to kill that dude, I wanted to find a way to make it work for Kieran Shepard. and it’s kinda ended up shaping the whole way I’m playing her, and it’s cool and interesting bc this is a shepard unlike any I’ve played before! i’m always so focused on min/maxing my character, especially their paragon/renegade points to get the ‘best’ outcomes, that ive never been faced with something like that.

so I think this is where I’ve landed:

Kieran Shepard grows up on the streets, she does not trust authority. all she has is her crew, and herself, more importantly. she does some bad shit, she gets into trouble, she’s strong-headed and stubborn. later in life, she gets recruited to the alliance military. frankly, I think she keeps a lot of the same attitude and distrust of authority, but this is a paycheck, and I think since the Tenth Street Reds are getting really human supremacist and xenophobic, she gets out and needs to go Somewhere that her past won’t follow her--space. off earth.

mostly she’s a shithead at first. gets into trouble with the brass all the time. but she’s got a really good head for tactics. she knows how to think like a merc gang, she thinks of strategies in simulations that higher ups wouldn’t ever consider. think like. star trek 2009 captain kirk basically lmao.

and then anderson gets a hold of her. for the first time in her life, she has like, a Parental Figure, someone who knows she can do better and expects her to. and she FLOURISHES. suddenly she’s got motivation, she’s straightening up. she’s positioned on elysium and the skyllian blitz starts, and one thing she knows how to do, something she’s always been good at, it surviving, and rallying people around her to fight, not roll over and die. her skills from her life as a gangster marry with her skills as a soldier and she rallies the colonists to beat back the invasion. with her STREET SMARTS!

now she’s a war hero, and she’s starting to feel the impostor syndrome set in. she gets a medal, she gets accolades, promotions--she’s just a scrappy former criminal and she doesn’t deserve this. she doesn’t deserve any of it, or anderson’s regard. she starts spending her time trying to be The Perfect Soldier to make up for her past. for the first time, it’s a point of embarrassment to her, not a point of pride. it’s public record, sure, but she needs her entire existence to refute it. she needs to be Commander Shepard now, she needs to be The First Human Spectre, she needs to be PERFECT.

and then Finch shows up, and he’s threatening her, he wants to drag her back into the Life and he’ll blackmail her if she doesn’t comply. she knows if she bribes him he’ll be back in a month for more, he’ll never stop. so she panics. she shoots this guy, kills him in cold blood, in public. old habits die hard. and the cop practically CONGRATULATES her for it.

kieran, now, is in full blown panic mode about Who She Is. she is very much not a fan of the ‘law and order’ of C-Sec, but she’s also not a fan of the spectres and how they operate, but now she’s becoming the thing she as a teen would have hated the most. and she’s being congratulated for it. can she be trusted with this kind of responsibility?? can anyone???

anyway that’s the last thing I did but I think... honestly? the only character that could help her sort out these feelings? is kaidan alenko.

so. i think this is it. this is the playthru i finally romance kaidan.

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #kaidan alenko #this post is long as fuck but i promise he's in there #kieran shepard tag

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dgcatanisiri · 3 years

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It’s not that I dislike characters like Liara in Mass Effect, like Ciara in Wrath of the Druids, any others that I complain about here. I really do tend to think that there are interesting characters to find in what I see.

The problem is the way that the narrative and the framing handles these characters, emphasizing them AS LOVE INTERESTS more than them as characters.

What do I mean by this, okay. So with Liara, let me skip the low-hanging fruit of her recovering Shepard’s body - I’ve been over that one plenty and you can find my complaints on that count. Let me instead start by addressing the fact that Liara is the only prior companion who is greeted with a hug, unless Ashley/Kaidan were romanced in ME1. So BY DEFAULT, she gets a greeting comparable to a romance. Likewise, where Ashley/Kaidan are only there for the scene on Horizon, putting them at odds with Shepard, Liara is a stationary figure on Illium who can be visited and revisited whenever.

And then there’s Lair of the Shadow Broker, which has a big final battle that ends on Shepard and Liara panting heavily, all meant as a lead in to this big damn kiss between them in a romance... Except if you have no romance with her, it’s a lot of build to linger on Liara making a sad face, because Shepard DIDN’T kiss her. What is the POINT of this bit if you aren’t romancing Liara, particularly if your ME2 romance is the one who accompanied the two of you on this mission?

Or my experience currently with Ciara in Wrath of the Druids - I’m still relatively early in the DLC, but there was a bit early on where she asks Eivor and Barid to leave the tent, give her some privacy. Eivor then, with no player input, lingers behind, asking a couple of questions that are unrelated to the plot, simply about getting to know her more. But if I’m playing Eivor as uninterested in women - or even just uninterested in her specifically - WHY are they disregarding her request? WHY did they linger?

I can go back to the base game and how Randvi is portrayed. She gets very little beyond manning the map. Her biggest burst of characterization is specifically BECAUSE of the build to romancing her, a rapid fire of little moments that come across as the game trying to claim ‘see, THIS is why you should romance her, look at how fun this date is turning out to be!’ Throwing all characterization at the player at once in the hopes that something will stick and the player will respond to her affections.

Or Lana Beniko. I have played Republic characters who are entirely distrustful of her - of the Sith intelligence operative who spent much of the Ziost mission down to vivisect the brains of Jedi operatives who had been possessed by the Sith Emperor - and she will STILL sound so hurt to hear that the PC did not tell her about the fact that the Emperor is now inhabiting their head. So, y’know, undergoing the exact same situation that she was willing to cut open others for. Is it REALLY any wonder they wouldn’t trust her with this? But, Lana is the clear preference of romance from BioWare - just look at all the plot shielding she’s gotten, while almost every other companion who is romanceable has become optional.

I could also bring up how Cora got the animation bump for her romance scene to include more detail, or Peebee’s invite into her pod for a zero-g sequence can’t be turned down, despite her flirtatious come on that leads in to her propositioning Ryder, regardless of interest, unless Ryder has hit a firm lock-in with another romance, but this is going on.

It’s the approach that frames characters like this FIRST from the lens of being romanced. That the writing expects these characters to be a romance BEFORE they are a character in their own right.

And it IS something that befalls women in video games more than anyone else - video games are still seen as a boys club, so the male gaze is the one that plays out first and foremost, women are frequently only seen as filtered through what lens makes them most attractive to these cis-straight men. Their reflex is not to think of these female characters as people, just a reward for their power fantasy - “I save the world, I get a hot babe to hang on my arm and tell me how amazing I am.”

So it’s not like this is a problem with these female characters INHERENTLY. They could be very interesting and engaging characters. The problem just comes down to how the narrative thinks of them - not as characters in their own right, but as arm candy for the male PC that these straight men are using as a power fantasy.

#dg talks video games #dg rants

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seealandraw · 3 years

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What is your Shepard’s relationship with their crew?

i realize my hand writing isn't the easiest to read, so i'll transcribe it all (with a little more detail) beneath a cut. Also! Each game is their feelings by the climax/endgame, which matters big in me3's case since it's post-reveal that miles sabotaged the genophage and i feel like the crew outside of garrus and javik deserved to know lol

ahead of time i'll mention that when miles refers to someone as "good soldier" it means they trust that person's ability to carry themselves and in general it's a sign of respect. they're military at heart and their measure of worth is what they learned being basically raised by them post-mindoir lol miles has a very hard time with the concept of 'friends' due to their colonist/sole survivor status of losing people CONSTANTLY so it takes a lot for them to get around it

MASS EFFECT 1

Miles > Ashley: good soldier/has a crush and is confused by it?? respects her opinion Ashley > Miles: likes to shoot the shit with her cool commander that treats her like a person

Miles > Kaidan: good soldier/please don't hit on me i'm begging you Kaidan > Miles: crushing on/is intimidated by them

Miles > Liara: is put off by/does not like her digging into their brain Liara > Miles: crush/is desperate for their approval

Miles > Joker: no time for his tomfoolery but trusts him Joker > Miles: "what a stick in the mud"

Miles > Wrex: likes the professional distance/respects him immensely/friends with benefits Wrex > Miles: respects/likes to kill things along side them/friends with benefits

Miles > Tali: tries to be close with/feels the need to protect her/doesn't want her to die under their command. Tali > Miles: thinks they're super cool/admires them greatly

MASS EFFECT 2

Miles > Thane: they are IN LOVE!!! respects him as a person/wants to be a better person being near him Thane > Miles: he is IN LOVE!!! understands them/respects their actions despite not always agreeing with them

Miles > Mordin: respects opinion of/convinced the genophage was right thanks to him lol Mordin > Miles: interesting soldier/desperately in need of therapy

Miles > Samara: good soldier/respects her dedication to justice Samara > Miles: Were It Not For Her Oath She Would Have Slaughtered Them

Miles > Grunt: good soldier/a fine example of the krogan Grunt > Miles: respects as his krantt/revels in their violence

Miles > Legion: does not trust in the slightest Legion > Miles: no data available

Miles > Joker: relies on/good soldier/friends? Joker > Miles: wants to help them/thinks of them as a close friend

Miles > Tali: friends? cares deeply for her and wants to protect her Tali > Miles: friends! tries to follow in their footsteps and be a force for good in the galaxy

Miles > Jack: mutual hatred but respect Jack > Miles: mutual hatred but respect

Miles > Jacob: good soldier/thinks he's lost sight of his morals/confidants Jacob > Miles: greatly respects/is intimidated by/confidants

Miles > Miranda: distrusts/dislikes in general Miranda > Miles: dislikes/god they're hot thou

Miles > Kasumi: friends??? she should go to jail thou she's a criminal Kasumi > Miles: friends/thinks they're a hottie/loves to mess with them

MASS EFFECT 3

Miles > James: good soldier/out of his depth with the current mission James > Miles: doesn't know how to feel about them/lost a great respect for them with deception

Miles > Javik: good soldier/trusts him implicitly/hot bug man (they've fucked once)/confidants Javik > Miles: doing right by the galaxy/trusts them to achieve their goals of the reaper's defeat/confidants

Miles > EDI: doesn't trust but sees her as a valuable asset to the crew EDI > Miles: complex feelings to sort through/horror at their actions against the geth/krogan

Miles > Joker: trying to gain his trust again Joker > Miles: affronted by their actions/can't support them but can't hate them either

Miles > Tali: wants to earn her forgiveness/truly wishes to change in her eyes Tali > Miles: disgusted by their actions/wants nothing to do with/but can't stop loving them

Miles > Liara: still hates for the whole 'givng body to cerberus' thing lol Liara > Miles: horrified by their actions/still sees their value in the fight against the reapers, but nothing more than that

Miles > Steve: good man/good soldier Steve > Miles: doesn't know about sabotaging the genophage/ values them as a bright light in his life

Miles > Sam: pretty girl/too good for them/values her skillset Sam > Miles: doesn't know about sabotaging the genophage/has a small crush on them

#commander shepard #nonbinary shepard #themshep #art.txt #i drew sam and stebe just for this bc i wanted to include them

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maxrev · 3 years

Note

Feels prompt for Knox (or a Shepard of your choice if he's not feeling talky): “ you’re not a machine or— or some thing. you’re a person, and i’m sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise."

Welp, guess Knox felt like talking lol. Here ya go! From this list of prompts

BIG shout out to @nightmarestudio606 for helping me with the kiss...I haven’t written one in sooo looong lol

________________________________________________

What the hell was he doing? He never ran. From anything. Hadn’t since he was four fucking years old. And now, at thirty one, he held many titles: Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy, etc, etc. He’d taken down husks, brutes...hell, even a reaper without a second thought.

So, why did this particular man have him running for cover, hiding in his own damn cabin no less? Fuck this.

And yet, he remained where he was, a few steps just inside his cabin door, looking all around but not seeing a thing. The fish tank burbled quietly beside him, fish merrily swimming around; model ships he’d carefully crafted on display in the glass case; a softly squeaking wheel from the hampster - who still wasn’t named - running in circles. All of it a part of his carefully crafted world, even if the fish and hampster had been gifts he’d never have bought on his own. Pets required time and attention he had none to give.

His world was orderly, meticulously thought out to every minute detail, any possible contingency planned for. Except one apparently.

Major Kaidan Alenko. Putain de merde.

If was wearing his hardsuit, his vital signs would show his heart rate was up along with his stress levels. As if mocking him, the fish continued to swim, serene and unhurried from one end of the tank and back, not a care in the world.

“Commander, Major Alenko wishes to speak with you. Would you like me to let him in?” EDI’s voice carried over the speakers above him.

His cabin. His only sanctuary, such as it was. As the commander, he was available at all times, yet no one ever bothered him here, preferring to stay well away. It seemed there was nowhere left to run. Cornered like a wounded animal and he damn sure felt like one, too. Ready to lash out. Cool heads prevailed, not that he’d ever been accused of having one. The memories of Horizon and Mars mocked him.

The major was a brilliant soldier and he needed him on the Normandy. He ran a hand over his shorn head in agitation. Okay, okay. I need him on the Normandy. Admitting it turned out to be not as hard as he’d imagined.

“Commander?” EDI prodded.

“Give me five minutes.” Let the major wait outside, stew a bit in his own thoughts.

Glancing around the cabin, Knox wondered why he was so damn nervous. Nothing was out of place, all his things meticulously maintained and where they belonged. The only mess to be found were the piles of datapads scattered over the desk. He was having a hard time keeping on top of them. The barrage of information was constant, barely able to read one before another was thrust into his hands.

Enough. No more stalling. Leaning casually against the ledge along the fish tank, he crossed his arms and ankles. He could give the impression of being relaxed, even if he didn’t feel it.

“Let him in, EDI.”

The door slid open. The world narrowed to just one man and his nostrils flared as he took a deep breath and pushed away a sudden unknown emotion he felt as his eyes landed on Alenko standing on the other side. He waited for the major to make the first move having invaded his refuge.

Stepping inside, the major nodded at Knox, “Commander.”

So formal. It should put Knox at ease but instead it irritated him. Irrationally so. Wanting to shake the ground beneath Alenko’s feet, he said, “Call me Knox.”

Thick dark eyebrows rose up in response, surprised. Good. Knox felt more at ease with the knowledge.

“Okay...Knox,” Kaidan drew out the one syllable as if trying out the feel of it. “Then I ask that you call me Kaidan.”

Knox simply continued to stare at him, not responding. The silence stretched out and his impatience began to grown. He did not like to be kept waiting.

“Was there something you needed?” His words came out harsher than intended but if it prompted a response, so be it.

Brown eyes, wariness in their depths, looked away, the tips of Kaidan’s ears becoming pink. Interesting. He rubbed the back of his neck, a tell Knox had seen often when he was unsure about something or embarrassed. Which was it this time?

“I…” he took a deep breath, then turned an looked Knox right in the eyes, “I wanted to apologize for my distrust back on Mars, for questioning your loyalties. I realize now you’re the commander I’ve known since Eden Prime and I’m happy to fight by your side...sir.”

Straightening up, Knox strode over slowly, coming to a stop before him, crowding his space. The air around them was charged with electricity. He spoke quietly, calmly, but with steel in his voice, “Only now?”

Kaidan didn’t look away this time. The intensity in his gaze made Knox’s blood heat. There was more going on here than what one could see on the surface.

“What is it exactly you want from me?”

Merde! What a loaded question he was asking. Deciding he needed a drink, Knox turned towards his desk where he kept a bottle of whiskey. He splashed some of the amber liquid into a glass, uncaring when it slosed over the side. Maybe the burn as it went down would put him back on solid ground. The ground he’d tried to shake beneath Kaidan’s feet had backfired. This was new territory for him.

He tossed the whiskey back, turning to hold up his empty glass, "Drink?"

Kaidan hesitated for a few seconds, then nodded. Knox poured another for himself, then handed the other glass over. The major sipped sparingly, eyes widening a fraction in surprise.

Knox shrugged, "I liked the whiskey you added to the bar. Bought some for myself."

An inadvertent admission. He wandered over to watch the fish, lest Kaidan read more into it. Silence followed his words and he turned to find the major browsing the datapads. Knox bristled at the invasion of his privacy, ready to let fly with harsh words and criticism but his inner voice caught up to him and told him to stop.

There was nothing more than intel about the war and the crucible and maybe Kaidan would be able to provide some insight, see things from a different angle...as he usually did.

Instead, Knox kept quiet and observed him, refusing to admit to himself he was actually committing to memory every nuance of the man across the room. Suddenly, Kaidan’s body tensed up, fingers coming to rest on one specific datapad. Having so many open, Knox couldn’t remember what intel was in each one and now he was curious at the reason for the strange response.

"Find something?"

Kaidan’s hand snapped to his side as if caught in a trap. Placing the unfinished drink on the desk, he turned to leave with an excuse at the ready, "I should go get acquainted with the crew."

Knox moved quickly, stepping in front of him, so close he could see the variations of color in the expressive brown eyes. His own eyes traveled at leisure over Kaidan’s face; new scars blending with old ones, a few more wrinkles and gray hairs from the passage of time and the stress they were under...a tinge of pink on his cheeks.

Their eyes locked. For the first time ever, Knox found himself lost. Unable to process the feeling, he did what came natural. He charged ahead.

The world around them ceased to exist, narrowing down to just the two of them, Kaidan’s breath hitching for a fraction of second before relaxing into the kiss, opening eagerly as Knox slid his tongue inside. Pressing up against him, their feet tangled and they stumbled across the room, Kaidan’s back stopping them up against the fish tank. Knox planted his palms to each side while Kaidan grasped at his clothing.

They sank into the kiss, neither willing to be the first to let it end. But end it did, Knox pulling away first. What the fuck was he thinking, kissing a member of his crew? There wasn’t time for personal relationships, death on the horizon or not. Things like this just got messy and caused more problems than he needed right now. Either of them needed.

He walked back to the desk, leaving Kaidan where he was. How he felt about what happened was of no concern to him. Leaning into his arms, hands pushing the datapads aside, one blinked to life. The one Kaidan had been looking at. On the screen was the Cerberus husk they’d found on Mars where Kaidan had questioned if the terrorist organization had done the same to him.

Behind him, the door slid open and he heard footsteps as Kaidan left his cabin.

His voice, raspy and deep with the remnants of their kiss lingering still, floated back to him, “You’re not a machine or— or some thing. You’re a person, Knox, and i’m sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise, including me."

#mshenko #mass effect #prompts #writing #maxwrites #ask and I deliver #who boy this kept going #Knox x Kaidan #laelior

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nonopiimagines · 4 years

Text

confidant

Fandom: Mass Effect Pairing: Jeff “Joker” Moreau x fem!Shepard Warnings: swearing Word Count: 2063 Author Notes: for my Mass Effect Holiday Cheer giftee, @andersonsbiceps. i hope you like it and i’m sorry for the aggressive use of italics. <3

---

"Hey, choose me."

She turned to look at him, complete confusion on her face. Her hand was paused above the array of paperwork on her desk. He wondered for a moment why paper still existed. Perhaps for moments like this one, providing a period of time where a person could bother another person without really interrupting what they were doing.

“What?”

He was impressed that he was still able to look at her, tamping down the desire to turn his head away and blow off his next few sentences in favor of a joke. He cleared his throat, shifting slightly in his chair, “You heard me. Choose me.” He wished that he could be leaning nonchalantly on the wall or sitting on the edge of her desk, something that evoked confidence instead of sitting too straight in the weird minimalistic furniture that adorned the Normandy.

She turned back towards her desk and away from him, a chuckle and a smile swiveling out of view. "I don't know what you mean, Joker. Choose you for what exactly?" She picked up her pen but didn't start writing, waiting for him to answer the question, placing the pen by her mouth, completely unaware of what was coming.

The rehearsal of words he had repeated to himself over and over just hours before left him entirely, leaving his mind empty but words bubbling up dangerously from his heart. But he wanted to know. "What would you choose me for?"

"You're being really weird," she scoffed, throwing her pen down and turning back to him to face him fully. It was getting really difficult not to look away, especially when determination lit up her face and her eyes wore into him, searching for the answer to his cryptic questions. "But I'll play along."

He nodded at her to keep going, willing her to find the truth he was suddenly too afraid to say outright. God, she was intimidating, even right now, even when it was just the two of them, from the beginning to the end. He could feel the rapid pace of his heart and he was keenly aware of the other times in his life when he felt like this, like this was the moment that would change him forever, but this time it was something good. Not being chased by praetorians, not watching the destruction of the Normandy, not watching her die. No. It was a confession.

It took her a few moments, but it was clear that she knew her answer almost immediately. She leaned forward, closer to him, resting her forearms on her knees, keeping her clear, keen eyes on him. "Most people might say they'd choose you for a pilot and they'd be right," she paused, her gaze roaming around his face as she searched for her words. "But I'd choose you for a therapist."

Now it was his turn. "What? Commander, despite what you may believe, I'm not a therapist, I just play one on TV." That earned him what would've been a shove in another life, but ended up as a swift pat on his hand. She was always careful, always thoughtful, but still unwilling to take his bullshit.

"No, listen to me." She was serious, all joking and smiles aside, her face went back to it's stoic demeanor, but fondness poured from her eyes. "You know all my secrets, you've seen me at my best and my worst, you've even seen me dance! But you always treat me the same. You're always one hundred percent real with me, you don't sugar coat anything, and I trust you to stay that way. I may not show it all the time, but I need you more than you know. You're more than just my pilot."

He was taken aback by the way the words just erupted from her mouth, no fear or unease behind them, just pure organic unbound emotion. Emotion towards him, about him, for him. It was too late by the time he noticed his cheeks felt hot and his mouth was opening and closing much like a fish.

"Maybe therapist isn't the right word. I don't want you to have to listen to all my fucked up shit, but I trust you with it, is what I'm trying to say." She almost looked embarrassed for a moment, floundering for the right words, but he couldn't count it as a win because he was sure he looked just as mortified as her. "Confidant might be more realistic."

Therapist? Confidant? What he wanted to hear was aggressively sexy bed and life partner, but he knew those words would never come out of her mouth in that order. He took off his hat and scratched the back of his head as an excuse to look away for a moment, wondering what he should say next, if he was allowed to read into her words for more than their surface value. Yeah, they knew each other for a long time. Yeah, he knew just as much about her as she knew about him. Yeah, there was a mutual layer of trust connecting them always. They always knew all that, but hearing Jane say it to him, a confirmation of the last few years they've spent together, a confirmation that she had seriously thought about their relationship beyond their rank and title, a confirmation that she didn't just think of him as a co-worker or even a friend. You're more than just my pilot.

"Did I give you the answer you wanted? Did you come up here just to fish for compliments?" Her teasing tone and broad smile were back, doing what should’ve been his job of diffusing a tense situation with jokes and sarcasm.

He smiled back at her, placing his hat on the table next to him. He felt exposed, no brim to hide his face but he needed the rush of adrenaline to keep him going. The conversation couldn't end here. He had gotten this far, all that was left was the hardest part.

"Uh, yeah kinda and no." Keep going, she won't stay here forever playing this weird close-quarters eye contact and bare your heart game of tag with you, he begged to himself. Keep going.

"Yeah kinda?" She rolled her eyes and sat back, leaning her head on her fist. "Then what should I choose you for, Jeff?" There was a little twinkle in her eye every time she said his name, his real name, like she was bragging, everyone knows Joker, but only she knows Jeff. It ignited a fire inside him, pushing him forward. Keep going.

“I see the way they look at you. Garrus. Liara. Kaidan. Even fucking Javik. Everyone loves you. And I, uh,” he looked at his hands, knowing that this declaration wasn’t as momentous as it sounded in his head. But it needed to be out there. “I want you to know that I’m looking at you too.”

She was quiet and he was too afraid to look up to see what she was thinking, to see if he had truly messed up or not. Maybe all she wanted was a confidant. That would be okay. He could walk out of here, back-pedal everything he said, and carry on like nothing changed. Him and the commander are just really good friends, the kind that don’t sleep together, but the kind that still share everything with each other. He would be okay with that (but only after a few days of staring into the abyss of space, listening to whiny pop punk songs, wondering what could have been so he could push it all away and continue).

“So,” she began, her voice suddenly quiet and small. He heard her movements as she got up out of her chair and knelt in front of him, to take his hands in hers, to force him to stop staring at himself and do what he claimed he was doing all along: looking at her. “You’re saying if I choose anyone at all, choose you.”

“Yeah, choose me.” Those words alone took everything out of him, to keep his voice steady, to not be a total creep and word-vomit out his feelings, to say just enough that he got the point across. Her eyes were darting over his face again, perhaps wondering if he was joking with her but he wasn’t. He wouldn’t joke about this. “I can be your therapist, I can be your confidant, I can be the pilot you bang on occasion, whatever you want.”

She laughed at that, her face close enough to his that she had to turn her head. He felt the whispers of her stray hairs on his cheeks and for a moment his heart stopped when she looked back at him, nothing hurtful or distrustful in her face, just a smile that was always there when he looked at her. Was it overconfident to think it was him that made her smile? A boy could dream.

“Okay,” she nodded, still so close to him.

“Yeah?” He had to be sure.

“Yeah.”

“I think we should kiss, just to seal the deal.”

“You’re right, it’s the diplomatic thing to do.”

He watched her and she watched him. But she was always the one to move first, to react quickly to situations, to make the most of a pivotal decision. Her hand lifted, gripping the couch to hoist herself up, to straddle his lap, always hovering just above him, pushing his head back just by the sheer force of her willpower. Jane was all muscles and scar tissue and cybernetics and everything about her screamed that she could rip him apart if she wanted to, but her lips were soft and her hair was softer when he put his hand in it, to let it slide through his fingers, wanting the moment to last forever, to feel her breath on his and the warmth radiating from her body above him. She was life and she was death and then it was over. One chaste kiss and then she was pulling away, he could only see her smirk before she pushed his hat back on his head, using the brim to cover his eyes while she moved away, back to her chair, back to her desk, back to the paperwork that made this all possible.

And all he could think was everything was worth it. Every part of this was fucking worth it.

“Now, don’t you have a ship to pilot?” Jane said after a moment of watching each other, waiting for someone to say something, to break the spell, to interrupt the satiated feeling of telling someone your last secret.

“I can stay here all day. EDI can take care of things.” He wanted to stay forever. He felt reborn, ready to take everything head on, but also ready to spend an extensively long time laying around, being in her presence, soaking up her existence into his, as they lay together face-to-face. He felt like a goddamn teenager, but there was no better feeling.

“You’ve become a distraction, Joker,” she stood up again, offering him a hand to help him up too. “Especially in the last 10 minutes.”

He smiled at that. Who else could distract the commander Shepard? His thoughts turned to Anderson and what sort of hell would be raised when he found out that the one guy he trusted to keep Shepard out of trouble might be the same asshole who’s getting her into trouble. That could be distracting too. He grimaced but continued, “I’m happy to be a distraction for you anytime.”

She seemed to think about that as she walked him to the elevator, his hand still holding hers purposefully, full of intent, finding it really difficult to let go, even when the sound of the elevator doors welcomed him into its cold, empty embrace.

“You could distract me later, when I’m done being commander and I’m ready to be Jane,” she offered, finally letting go of his hand, but keeping her body weight against the door of the elevator to prevent it from closing. “I’ll call you up.”

“Looking forward to it, commander.” He hoped he didn’t sound too eager, too puppy-like in his infatuation. He waved at her as she stepped back, her arms folding as the doors began to slide close.

“Me too.”

#mass effect holiday cheer #mass effect #mass effect fan fiction #andersonsbiceps #jokerxfem!shepard

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ljandersen · 5 years

Text

Kaidan Joins the Normandy

Pairing: Kaidan/FemShep (Mass Effect 3)

Summary: Kaidan’s first day aboard the SR-2. It’s not so easy going from stalemate to shipmate.

The toothbrush foamed in her mouth, forgotten. The bristles were chewed and torn from her vigorous brushing session the night before. The crack in the bathroom mirror made her knuckles ache remembering it. Mordin and Thane dead, Earth and the Citadel torn apart, and then this. After getting that news from the turians, it was lucky she’d made it back to her room before striking something. The hand towel she’d ripped off the bathroom wall was still bunched on the desk behind her. The computer screen flickered above it. ANN. The failed Cerberus coup dominated the news, but the reporter had finally moved on to smaller items.

Shepard frowned, toothbrush dropping to her side, and turned to the terminal’s flashing news story. The reporter repeated herself. Shepard stalked to the screen and mashed the volume button. Heat rose in her blood as she hung on every word.

“Captain Ferris said today at his release hearing that he plans to aid war efforts. The former Alliance officer will assume his previous rank and has been invited to join the fifth fleet. This is reminiscent of Commander Shepard, who was also reinstated in the face of crisis.”

“Hell no!” Shepard pounded the desk with her fist. A stack of datapads toppled over in the corner.

“Admiral Hackett yesterday said he was surprised at Ferris’s pardoning. Usually level one intelligence crimes like Ferris’s do not earn parole consideration. Spectre immunity on this level is unprecedented in Alliance military history. This will mark the first time a Council-level pardon has been issued in concert with an Alliance Criminal Review Tribunal.”

Shepard hurled her toothbrush against the wall. “EDI, get me Admiral Hackett ASAP.”

“Would you like to receive him in the comm room, Commander?”

“Yes. Do it now.”

Shepard tore down the steps to her closet. She threw the door open so hard it bounced against the wall. A mistake of this level was unbelievable. Reading a Spectre pardon request was not the same as approving it. Shepard ripped a shirt out of the closet in a spray of hangers. How the hell could this have happened? Her Spectre account may have been hacked. Possible. Maybe someone had her codes. Or … or … Shepard froze. Her back straightened.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Commander?”

“Cancel my call to Admiral Hackett. Where’s Major Alenko?”

“Major Alenko is in the starboard observation lounge. Would you like me to connect you to his comm?”

“No,” Shepard said sharply. She yanked her pants on one leg at a time. “I’ll call on him myself.”

Kaidan shuffled datapads on the lounge’s table. It helped seeing the reports side by side. His biotics team was on Earth. Had to be. The last Alliance reports showed that his biotic teams had been mobilized after the reapers hit. They accompanied the third fleet to Earth’s defense. From there communication cut off. Silence. If Kaidan hadn’t been laid up by a robot-rattling, maybe he would have joined with them. They had known he was testifying in Vancouver. They probably didn’t even know he’d survived. If he could locate them on Earth and connect them with Anderson, a biotic ops unit could be invaluable to defense efforts. Commander Uptograph was capable of leading the squads. If he was alive. Kaidan could give direction remotely. Not in real time, of course, but if he—

The lounge door slid open. Boots thwomped through the widening crack not even waiting for the door to fully open. Kaidan spine straightened. He pushed back his chair and stood.

“Alenko.” Shepard tore across the room to him. “Guess what I heard on the news?”

Kaidan’s mind spun. Being aboard had him off balance. He hadn’t toured the ship yet, only slept in his bunk a few hours, and had yet to find an appetite for a real meal in the mess. He was still reeling from the coup fiasco. Hell, he’d aimed a gun at Shepard. He’d stared into the barrel of her pistol aimed at him. Face to face with the hard decision, the time for gray was gone. He had to make a decision on Shepard, black or white.

The Citadel attack was an inside job. Kaidan could see that from the beginning. He had rolled it around his head while he guided the Councilors to safety. Cerberus couldn’t hope to capture the whole Citadel and keep it. The target had to be information or something physical, like the councilors themselves. Cerberus had backdoor security codes and access to the Citadel’s surveillance system. Nothing else explained the uncanny way they tracked the councilors. Troopers poured through embassy doorways not even feigning to hack the control panels. They had Spectre override codes or higher. Then Shepard appeared with a gun pointed at the councilors. Kaidan chose his side. Now, here they were aboard her ship together. Shepard wasn’t pointing a gun in his face this time, but it didn’t feel much different.

“Are you angry?” Kaidan hedged.

“Guess what I heard on the news?” Shepard enunciated and stepped toe-to-toe with him.

Kaidan’s mouth went dry. He itched to take a step back. He was taller than her, but damn, it had been a while since she breathed fire in his face. She was a reckoning force. But he wasn’t her staff lieutenant anymore. Instead, he stared down at her hoping the height difference would balance her glare. It didn’t.

“I’ll just tell you then,” she snapped.

“Thought you might.”

Her eyes slit into lines. “I heard a Spectre pardon was granted to Alexi Ferris.”

Kaidan licked his lips. “You disapprove, I take it?”

“Disapprove!” Shepard rose on her toes, breath hot, but not at all unpleasant. “Disapprove, Alenko? Huh. Well, let’s see. Ferris gave intel to the Hegemony that resulted in five settlements – five! – being dismantled into a slavery livestock sale on Illium.”

“Four years ago, Shepard.”

“Oh, four years ago. Oh well. Forty thousand lives destroyed. But four years doing crossword puzzles and sharing a bunk with Big Tony? Sure, a year of that’s worth ten thousand colonists’ lives.”

“Shepard …” Kaidan said slowly.

“You undermined me, Kaidan.” Shepard’s eyes flashed. “I did not approve that pardon. You went behind my back. Now, it can’t be undone without a big to-do.”

Kaidan’s stomach twisted. “Shepard, I didn’t—”

“He’s back in the fifth fleet!” Shepard snapped and spun away. She paced. “I suppose now I get a taste of how it felt to see me get off? Alliance criminal back at the helm.”

“What?” Kaidan sputtered. He reached for her elbow to stop the caged pacing, but she turned on him with bared teeth. He drew his hand back before he got burned.

“You didn’t even have the balls to tell me yourself.” She glared at his hand then resumed her pacing. “I had to hear it on ANN, Kaidan. ANN.”

Kaidan chewed his lip and watched her jerky pacing. This seemed out of proportion.

“You really mad at me, Shepard? Or is this about the war.”

“I’m mad at you.” Shepard drove a finger his direction.

“I didn’t undermine you, Shepard. Or, at least, not intentionally. If you saw the Spectre request, you didn’t dismiss it in the Spectre inbox.”

“I was still thinking about it. It was marked ‘read.’”

“If it was, I didn’t realize it. I’m sorry.”

Shepard’s pacing quickened. “Ferris should be in prison.”

“It was four years ago. Unintentional. Negligence, not malice.”

“And you want negligence that extinguished forty thousand lives making decisions with a full company of Alliance warships?” Shepard waited then bit back at him. “Well?”

“You really want an answer to that? It’s clearly rhetorical.”

“Ha. You would think that, wouldn’t you? Clearly not though.”

Kaidan clenched his jaw. She was so blasé about their confrontation after the coup. She welcomed him aboard, conciliatory, downplaying, even a touch warm, which had surprised him. Horizon, Mars, the coup, everything in between, he expected it to cause some lingering distrust, distance, resentment. This though? It seemed a bit much. It was a definite whiplash from her handshake and smile twenty-four hours ago. He pulled out a chair and sat.

“That’s it?” Shepard fisted her hands on her hips. “Nothing else to say?”

“I have more to say. Just waiting for you to finish what you had to say.”

“Say it.” Shepard loomed over him.

“Okay.” Kaidan leaned an elbow on the armrest and rubbed a hand down his jaw. “Look, Commander, I’m sorry I didn’t check to see if the request had already been opened. You’re not used to sharing humanity’s Spectre inbox. I’m not used to having one. In the future, I think it would be wise for you to dismiss a request you’ve already opened. If you’re still considering a request, alert me with a message. And I’ll do the same.”

“I do not like the decision you made with Ferris.”

“I understand that, and I see your side. But see my side, too, Commander. We’re at war, trillions dead, our forces weakened. Captain Ferris made a bad decision. Intel got passed to the wrong places. He’s still a good leader with decades of experience. He can help more wearing an Alliance uniform than a prison jumpsuit. I only pardoned him, allowed his release. Admiral Hackett decided to reenlist him to the rank of captain, give him a crew and ship. Hackett knows the galaxy’s situation better than anyone. He worked with Ferris in the past. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

Shepard’s nostrils flared. She glared down at him but didn’t speak.

“Shepard,” Kaidan said, “you must have realized this too. You were still considering the request and could have dismissed it outright.”

“I was going to research the matter further before I clicked anything.” She gripped her elbows and stepped back. “Fine. I suppose we’re both Spectres. We’ll support each other’s decisions. If there are requests under consideration, I’m moving them to a separate folder.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

Shepard eyed him a second then turned on her heels. “Glad we hashed it out. Later, Major.”

“Shepard,” Kaidan said.

She stopped, hand hovering on the door’s button.

Kaidan stood. “You all right? Something wrong?”

“We fixed the something wrong. Now, the something wrong is an empty stomach. I have an energy bar in a drawer with my name on it. I’ll see you at—” She caught his throw reflexively. She looked down at what she’d caught.

“Doesn’t have your name on it,” Kaidan shrugged, “unless you want to go by Blueberry. But, I figure you were being figurative, not literal.”

Shepard turned the energy bar over in her fingers. “Saving me twenty steps to the mess? Thanks, I guess. Maybe I wanted strawberry.”

“Hope you did. That and cherry are all you’re gonna find in the mess. Wartime supplies and utility trump variety I guess.” He stopped in front of her.

Shepard narrowed her eyes and curled her fingers around the energy bar. “This been traveling around in your pocket all week?”

“Crammed in with my spare bandages and a pocket knife? Like famishment first aid or something? No.” Kaidan grinned. “An energy bar doesn’t last long in my pocket, especially blueberry. It’s the best kind. We both know it.”

“You’re bribing your CO with caviar-grade Alliance-issued energy bars, Alenko?”

Kaidan rested a shoulder against the wall and folded his arms. “Are you requesting more blueberry energy bars, Commander? Your accusation was plural. Bars.”

Shepard’s eyes shifted away from Kaidan. He followed her eyes to the table in the corner, datapads lighting the surface.

“You got a whole box of these?” Shepard asked.

“Not over there. You’ll have to dig through all the stuff stashed under my bunk.” Kaidan turned and rested his back against the wall. He studied the window. “I have kiwi too.”

“What?” The energy bar dropped from Shepard’s fingertips. She fumbled for it and scooped it off the floor. “You’re lying.”

“You’re right.” Kaidan shrugged. “Made it up. The wrappers in the bunk room garbage are all misprints.”

“Must not be Alliance-stocked.”

“Citadel grocery store and a credit chip. Secret recipe for kiwi energy bars.”

Shepard smirked. “Better than Alliance-issued blueberry?”

“Better than Alliance-issued strawberry and cherry. I’ll give you some. You decide.”

Shepard grinned lopsidedly and studied the energy bar in her open hand. “Thanks.”

Kaidan let the silence stretch. Her downturned face still had a slight smile.

“How’s the war effort?” Kaidan said lightly. “This next mission lining up?”

Shepard curled a fist around her energy bar. She tore the end of the wrapper off with her teeth. “Damned turians.”

Kaidan frowned. “What?”

“Damned turians,” Shepard pronounced louder. “You think things are working out. Both sides are finally happy and onboard, then you find out—” She paused. Their eyes connected, and she looked away sharply. She tore off another bite. “Anyway, amazing what secrets come to light in a time like this.”

“Hmm.” Kaidan agreed.

Either she didn’t trust him with the information or just didn’t want to engage him enough to share it. The latter seemed more likely. He was a Spectre and Alliance major. He hoped to be part of her ground team at some point. He’d find out whatever it was eventually. She just didn’t want to confide in him that a mission was bothering her.

“I went dark and joined a Terminus merc band for a week,” Kaidan said.

Shepard’s eyes snapped to his face like he knew they would.

“What?” she said. “The Alliance sent you undercover with mercs?”

“Alliance? Well, uh, no. Not exactly.” Kaidan scuffed the floor with his boots. “Anyway, I was going to say—”

“Wait. What do you mean ‘not exactly’?”

“I mean, that’s not relevant to what I’m trying to say.”

“Classified, you mean?” Shepard’s mouth twisted into a frown. She folded her arms.

“Hey, I’m not lording something classified over you.” Kaidan held her gaze then sighed. “Look. I was on leave. Went on my own.”

“What, like a second job? Saving up for something?”

Kaidan chuckled. “Yeah, no. I wanted to get information on – well … Anyway, what I found was something else.”

“You wanted information on Cerberus?” Shepard filled in.

“Uh, yeah.” Kaidan flashed her a weak smile and pushed his hands into his pocket. “Anyway, I came back with information on a piracy organization called Dobson.”

“Weird name.”

“Right?” Kaidan settled his back more comfortably against the wall. “They had Alliance-patented weapon mods, crates of standard issue Lance IV’s. The ladar system on their groundcrawlers had Lazer-10 and 7’s installed. Little high end and standardized for your average pirates.”

“Alliance secret pet project, ala Cerberus or Turstein?”

“Ran right into, Shepard. I thought Dobson was targeting Alliance warehouses or our carriers. I didn’t realize …”

“And the Alliance wasn’t happy you came back ringing alarm bells about it?”

“The Council was pissed too. I saw some Spectre-grade armor and weaponry. Turns out Dobson was a Council-Alliance collaboration, a Terminus system black ops project. Anderson about leapt over the conference table to slap a hand over my mouth. There I was spilling everything about Dobson to a room of senior Alliance officers who knew nothing about it.”

“You’re telling me this for a reason?” Shepard finished her energy bar and stuffed the wrapper in her pocket.

“I’m not you, Shepard. I know the stakes are different here. But I understand trying hard and not making anyone happy. Not achieving what you thought you already had in the box. I thought I’d stumbled onto something big. I had names and base locations ready, thought I’d get a pat on the back. Instead I got slapped with a gag order.”

Shepard cocked her head at him. “This an ‘I opened up, now you open up’ arrangement? That how this works?”

“What?” Kaidan jerked away from the wall. “I’m not trying to manipulate you. Trust me, that’s the last thing I want.”

Shepard held his eyes with a steady stare. He shifted his weight from foot to foot but didn’t break her gaze.

“Why were you running with mercs on your shore leave?” Shepard asked pointedly.

Kaidan dropped his eyes and shrugged. “I did a lot of that in my free time.”

“Adrenaline junkie?”

His heart drummed. “Guess I was chasing something I couldn’t find outside of work.” He looked her in the eye. “Or maybe it was just running away from what would happen if I stood still.”

Shepard’s gaze wavered, a line pinched between her eyebrows. She looked away and cleared her throat. “Tuchanka has a bomb. Turians planted it for security years ago. The genophage is cured, the krogan have rallied to Palavan’s rescue, we’ve saved the primarch, and it’s still not settled. All because there’s a damn explosive no one wanted to own up to. Now the reapers know about it. We’re left scrambling to prevent losing everything that we just sacrificed to gain.”

“Damn turians.” Kaidan gave a quick smile, his blood still rushing. “You know, humanity may have done the same thing given the chance. We all want assurances. Hard to admit past mistakes. To make up for them before it’s too late.”

Shepard searched his eyes. “Perhaps.” She glanced back at the door with a lingering look. She turned back to him and took a step closer. “My friend died, Kaidan. If Tuchanka is destroyed, his death counts for nothing.”

“You know that’s not true,” Kaidan said. “Ash’s death didn’t count for nothing just because Saren escaped that day. Your friend’s death won’t count for nothing just because Tuchanka has a bomb. When we beat the reapers, every sacrifice will count.”

“I guess.” She shrugged dismissively, but a smile played on her lips. “Kaidan?”

“Yeah?”

“Get me one of those kiwi energy bars, I’ll show you around the ship.”

Kaidan’s chest expanded with a light, fluttery feeling. “Really?”

“Only if you’re not lying about the kiwi flavor.”

“You can trust me.” Kaidan walked to the table and gathered his datapads.

“I want paid upfront. Just so you know.” Shepard pushed the button for the door.

“Of course.” Kaidan brushed past her into the hall. “First one’s always free anyway.”

AO3 (from “About Mars”)”: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21369139/chapters/50901124

FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13428855/1/About-Mars-Mass-Effect

#Shenko #fanfic #Kaidan Alenko #fShenko #femshep #About Mars #reconciliation #mass effect

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pigeontheoneandonly · 5 years

Text

After Mars

A quick little spicy AU assuming Kaidan was not severely injured at the end of the Mars mission in ME3. Definitely smutty! Also available on AO3.

For Kaidan Alenko Week “Booty” day, sponsored by @spectrekaidanalenko.

Hackett signed off and let them go. Shepard sagged, for a long moment letting the day’s heaviness show in the hunch of her shoulders, the way the railing running the perimeter of the comm room took her weight and her boot scuffled at the floor.

“We’ll be at the Citadel in a few hours,” Kaidan said. She started; in her soul-deep exhaustion, she’d forgotten he was there. “You’ll talk to the Council. We haven’t seen the last of Earth yet.”

She bit back a reply, knowing as well as she knew her own name that the Council wouldn’t help. They never came through, not once in almost four years. She passed her hand over her mouth. “Yeah.”

There was nothing in the world she wanted more than a hot shower and a quick nap before she had to somehow compose herself enough to speak before the Council. Assuming she could sleep. But even if not, just the chance to rest her eyes would be welcome.

So, of course, Kaidan followed her out of the comm room and all the way into the elevator, rambling. He did that sometimes, fill two words’ worth of conversation with a few dozen, when he got upset or nervous. “This is different. This is a threat to the entire galaxy, not something they can sweep under the rug. They’ll listen. They have to.”

Her experience with the Council was they did as they damn well pleased. “If you say so.”

The complete lack of inflection in her voice didn’t escape him.

“Hey,” he said, softer, a tone she recognized all too well. One meant to reassure her. And sure enough, he reached for her arm, intending comfort.

Shepard flinched away from his touch. Her face gone quite cold. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“I wasn’t doing anything.”

“You don’t get to snap at me while I’m getting shot at, and disbelieve my every word for the last goddamn year, and then act like— like—” She blew out a breath. “I don’t want anything from you.”

“Okay.” Disconcerted, and not a little hurt. Part of her took some satisfaction in that. It was about time he shared in some of the pain he’d caused. “But we still have to figure this out. What to do next, what to say to the Council.”

The elevator arrived at Deck 1, and opened onto the small atrium before her cabin. Shepard walked forward as though he wasn’t even there.

And because he’d never been able to take the most glaring of hints, he trotted after her, all the way to her desk. “Shepard, we have to form some kind of strategy. If we can’t win them over—”

“Then Earth dies.” She stripped off her gauntlet, too overwhelmed by the invasion and Cerberus’ unexpected appearance on Mars, and too frustrated with his persistence, to curb her tongue. “Bam. Kapowie. That’s it, roll credits, it’s the end of the human race. Just enough time for everyone else to pull out the popcorn and cheer our demise before the reapers come for them, too.”

A flash of irritation at last. “This isn’t funny.”

“No, I think it’s downright hilarious.” The other glove joined it on the table, and she started working at her shoulder armor. “Over three years to prepare and our illustrious leaders squander it for a little political capital, as if it’ll buy their lives when the reapers reach the Citadel. Goddamn it.”

The strap was caught on something. She yanked at it, too angry to sort it out or even see it properly, until a gentle grip drew her hands back.

“Here,” Kaidan said. “Let me get it. The buckle’s just in backwards.”

Shepard stood so still she shook the slightest bit as he worked, his head ducked down and focused on the task at hand. Her mouth pressed into a thin line. Heat rose off his body, close enough to feel on her face, and with it came his scent, soap and sweat and musk. The last time they stood this close was on Horizon. And before that… before that…

Her shoulder armor came loose. He set it aside, and looked up at her. “There. All better.”

His breath caught as he realized she was barely inches from him. His eyes uncertain, wandering over her face, a question in their depths.

It settled on her with all the weight of a feather. But with everything else, that small, final inconsolability collapsed all her careful distance. This was too much. It all was too much.

Shepard grasped after the only solace in reach, brushed her fingers over his cheek and tangled back into his hair, and drew his mouth to hers.

His arms slid around her immediately, instinctive, hungry hands roaming her back. She let out a little involuntary sigh. His lips trailed across her jaw and down to her neck as she began, without any conscious thought whatsoever, to loosen his armor. Fingers feeling their way around buckles and clamps and straps, certain of nothing except that she needed this, an urgent antidote to the horrors on Earth and the long lonely year behind them.

He had the same thought, sliding off her other shoulder piece, loosening her chest armor and letting it fall to the floor. Pulling back just far enough to unzip her elastomere suit and pull it free to her waist before meeting her again in a famished kiss. Then it was her turn, pulling the final layer, the flimsy undersuit, clear of her head and leaving her bare to his touch. Not caring or even noticing as the rough texture of his armor rubbed her red.

Her fingers finally figured out the buckle blind and his utility belt fell away, followed by the composite plates covering his thighs. He lifted her onto the edge of the desk. Shepard reached back and shoved every object on it over the edge, terminal, datapads, paper folders and mission logs and comm pod, all clattering to the ground. Groaning as his gloves vanished and his bare fingers touched her skin with a shiver of raw heat. Pulling at her own leg armor now, eager to have it gone.

Kaidan moaned into her mouth as her leg brushed his crotch. Modern spacesuits used elastic pressure in lieu of air, and she couldn’t imagine having an erection under all that was any fun at all. Her hands found the suit closure at the back of his neck, eager to relieve him of it.

He wriggled to help her as soon as he realized her plan, suit and undersuit catching at his knees on his remaining plating. He let out a growl of frustration and bent to remove it, only to have Shepard yank him upright and press her mouth to his, over and over.

“Forget it,” she hissed, between each frantic kiss. One arm holding him tight to her, and her other hand reaching between them and confirming her suspicions.

His eyes squeezed shut as she ran her hand up his shaft in one firm stroke. “Shepard—”

“Shut up.” She nipped his earlobe, a warning, and felt him throb in her grip. “If you ruin this now, I’ll kill you.”

He pushed her on her back, hard enough to surprise her, and grabbed her by the waist. Yanking at the remainder of her suit, her raising herself up to help. She felt as much as heard a strap break as he stripped her shin armor to free her entirely. Nothing in the world mattered less. Then he was laying down over her, Shepard yanking at his undersuit shirt, urgent to feel his bare chest against hers. His mouth trailing down her chest as she pulled it over his head, tongue on her nipple as the collar finally cleared. Shepard let out a strangled gasp. His hands tightened on her waist. Dragging her hips to the desk’s edge.

His hard dick brushed her inner thigh with a flash of hot lightning, flaring into an urgent need. Her arms wrapped his chest and forced him back to her, face to face, and she left a sucking kiss on his neck. Legs wrapping his hips, tight to his ass, making her wishes plain.

He was in no mood to argue. One hand left her, just for the merest instant, reaching between them to position himself, then gripping her breast hard on pure animal instinct as he thrust fully inside her. She cried out at the unexpected roughness of it; he never got rough, not with her, but in this moment it was exactly right. His mouth swallowed her shout, wet and frantic and forceful, as they began to move together. His thrusts hard and barely keeping any kind of rhythm, trying, it seemed, to merge into her completely. Her legs urging him even faster, matching him stroke for stroke, pushing her pelvis up into his. The last remnant of her suit had caught on her right foot and banged tonelessly against the desk.

She tangled her fingers in his hair. Her other hand gripped his ass, so hard she was certain he’d bruise. Heat rising in her. Her head tilted back. “Kaidan—”

His mouth moved to her neck. Exactly the spot she liked. Her eyes squeezed shut. “Don’t— I can’t—”

But he knew that part of her, too, and didn’t slow or let up an iota. The physicality of it, the magnitude of sensation running up and down her nerves, his fat cock inside her, his hand tightening on her breast, his breath on her skin, grew overwhelming. Her voice went up the scale. Her thighs began to shake. “Kaidan, oh god, Kaidan, I can’t—”

Just when she thought she truly couldn’t stand it a second longer without some kind of reprieve, her back arced. A long, strangled, wordless cry left her mouth, legs vise-tight around him, forcing him as deep as he could go. He let out an enormous groan into her neck and she felt his own release, pulsing, a final burst of scorching heat.

They collapsed into each other. His weight abruptly settling and puddling on top of her as his muscles relaxed, so familiar, too much so. Her fingers just now letting go his hair. He’d once complained, jokingly, that it was thinning due to the strength of her grip. She turned her face into the side of his head, breaths coming deep and slowing now. Cuddling into him without a second thought.

His hand trailed up her body and cupped her cheek. More tender than she had any right to expect. And just for that second, when he couldn’t see her expression, her eyes shut and she let herself enjoy it. Despite the fighting and distrust and just plain cruelty that sex couldn’t begin to fix. This small and fleeting comfort worth a moment’s denial.

Kaidan pulled back, enough that they could look at each other. As confused as she felt, a lock of hair flopping into his eyes.

She smoothed it back. This hadn’t solved a damn thing. At best, it just added another complication. But Kaidan always took things seriously.

Then they both jumped out of their skins as the intercom activated. Liara. “Shepard, I’ve found the device schematics. You’ll want to look at this.”

Shepard stared up into Kaidan’s face. “Sure. I’ll be right down.”

“Is Kaidan with you?”

A burst of laughter escaped before she managed to clamp her mouth shut. Kaidan’s face lowered onto her shoulder, his whole body shaking. His dick still flaccid inside her.

She opened her mouth, let out another chuckle, composed herself and tried again. “Yeah. We were just… talking strategy.”

“He’ll want to see this, too.” If Liara detected anything amiss, it didn’t show in her voice.

“Roger that.” She glanced over at him.

He lifted his head. Still laughing, if a bit helplessly. Impulsively, she pushed upward and brushed his lips with a brief kiss. “Duty never ends. We can’t talk about this now.”

“No.” Reluctantly, he levered himself off her, Shepard feeling a moment’s piercing emptiness as he slipped out. Kaidan glanced around her cabin. “You know, I just realized.”

She swung her legs over the side of the desk, working to free the suit from her foot. “What?”

“I don’t have any clothes on this ship.”

And somehow, the completely baffled expression on his face made her forget, just for an instant, everything that was happening beyond this cabin. Just enough relief to keep going another day. “Get in the shower. We’ll find you something.”

#kaidanweek2019 #kaidan alenko #f!shepard #shenko #fshenko #fanfiction #content note: smut #lemon #i cannot begin to explain how nervous i am to post this...

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electronicdelusionstarlight · 4 years

Text

I’d make a Inferno Quote (”Thence we came out, and saw again the stars!”) here but I’ll just let you know right after I took this screenshot and recruited Slyboots for the start of my Count of Montecristo like revenge, a series of bullshit started happening:

1) The “Trinimac Fanatic” (A Thalmor) guarding the Trinimac shrine nearby added by Wintersun is attacked by a bear and some wolves, responding to them in kind, but attracting the attention of the Mourning Giant (A special VANILLA Giant mourning the death of his beloved mammoth nearby, and is never hostile to anything least they attempted to damage said Mammoth or due to multiple attacks against him), which destroys the remaining survivors before returning to keep watch on the mammoth.

(Actually, pretty good plot wise, Shaglak pretends to be a Trinimac follower when he tricks you into getting enslaved, so having a Trinimac Shrine right outside the settlement might not be so out of place now, and the Mourning Giant is probably too filled with grief to fully understand the horror that is happening just nearby).

2) As soon as I reached the shrine of Trinimac to get it on the map, the second and third member of the Sinister Seven showed up.

Sinister Seven is a mod that adds a dynamic assassin system to the game, spawning from level 14 onward every 2 levels a member of the titular Sinister Seven in a fixed place in the world, and then sending them to hunt you down. Is good for roleplaying purposes (IE, you left Cyrodil and went to Skyrim to escape a dangerous past but said past is sending the most ruthless assassins in the empire to hunt you down). You can also mix via the MCM of the mod if said boss like enemies happened to have grunts with them, or if minor bounty hunters were also hired to hunt you down, as I did for maximum difficulty.

(The backstory has been mentioned earlier for me. My Altmer dragonborn was a member of the Mages Guild Chapter of Kvatch, ended up managing to commit some... forbidden experiments, she barely understood, to bind the fabric of time and rewind the clock back to the great war in the great Chapel of Akatosh there, so she could stop... everything, what happened to her dads, their PTSD, their scars, their wounds, the horrors her friends and family had to go through, her losing her eye during the sack of Kvatch (She was barelly 14 at the time), the following ostracization against them for being Altmer, thinking them as spy...

She fails and ends up with a pet arcane raven that might or might not be Kyne’s Avatar, and with her already scarred body marked outside the flow of time, never needing to sleep, eat, time freezing briefly every time she wants to drink a potion, switch a spell, eat something, not able to even feel the taste...

So, she’s running away from the Synod after they discovered her experiments, who wants to get her ageless body back to dissect her and see what makes her tick, the Order of the Hour, crying vengeance against their desacrated chapel and dishonored god, the Auriel chapter in Alinor following suit (Which means the Thalmor will also want to get her to see how she ticks, especially after their spies in the Synod revealed what they managed to discover about her experiments), but not the Alkosh chapter in Elseweyr, by now a shadow of their former self after the advent of the Riddle’Tar, and the Alduin one in Skyrim, since the Northern Pantheon has been lost by 2 centuries and the Nords have been succesfuly assimilated into the imperial pantheon, following fake, propaganda based “tradition” barely 150 years old and abandoning their actual gods in favor of a lie about a dead emperor.

She chooses Skyrim due the political turmoil making it easier for her to disappear there (Sadly true as she is indeed disappeared, first by the Thalmor who manage to recognize her and capture her, and right after her escape as she managed to make Kaidan flee the Thalmor Prison in the Rift, getting separated from him in the kerfuffle, and right after that by the Dunmer Slavers of Sedtrith Kagran.

(Her family are followers of the moderate chapter of the Syrobane Phynaster and Xarxes doctrine, the one that believes that everyone, even men, can ascend to godhood much like Xarxes and Syrobane did, and professes how, like Syrobane and Phynaster, it’s through an alliance between all races in harmony and peace united under a common goal as they go against their real enemies... the Sload, bastards who deserve all the harm it will get to them. The chapter had to escape Summerset Isles after the Thalmor took power, their “moderate” views of men and other races not exactly seen kindly under the new regime...))

(Let’s just say all the shit she had gone trough in her life (The war, the loss of a eye, the scar on her face, hidden by her hair,the ostracization, being hunted down like a dog, the Thalmor capturing her and torturing her, the Slavery... hasn’t made her the most trustworthy or “peaceful” of mer at the moment, plotting her revenge against all that hurt her and her only friend in Sadrith Kagran, Ra’zhirra, aiding his escape back to his family in Elsweyr, delivering him from slavery, but vowing to take revenge for him too against those who sold him to the Slavers... The Stormcloaks, colluding with the settlement and knowing full well what is going on in their land, and even profiting from it as Ra’zhirra clearly says.)

3) Anyway, the Second Member is a Dunmer Frost Mage, the Third a Nord Stealth Archer. It’s implied they are... pretty close, like sisters, to quote the awkwardly not as Anti Raegan as it should have been given the circumstances broadway musical Rent.

The first member, a Giant Orc, actually managed to gain access to Sedrith Kagran, probably having ties with Shaglak own slave catching gang, so he showed up at the appropriate level, but both archer and mage showed up together (as the archer outright BEGS in her letter to her gal pal to do after the first of the Seven doesn’t report back when he went alone).

4) After we manage to kill off the 2 members of the sinister seven, a fucking CHALLENGER challenges me to a magic duel, right in the same fucking swamp... followed by him.

The man, the myth, the legend...

THE MOTHERFUCKING COURIER.

I started AHO at level one.

I’m level 18 now, almost 19.

He gave me so many fucking letters guys, you have no idea, organizations that knew about my action in the settlement and knew about the slavery (Like the Ravencroft Manor Arena), or people like Cassia, who have sent letters of help to everyone and anyone the courier deemed worthy of such thing...

As well as Jarl’s Sigurd’s letter, inviting her, a no name altmer, for “dinner.”

It seems not just the stormcloaks were colluding with the slavers... After all they do mention how many members of northern nobility were happily aiding in the slave trade, even profiting from it, not just the Stormcloak ones...

So, now she’s distrustful of everyone and everything, and burning with the desire of hurting those who hurt her...

Not running away anymore... But fighting back, stopping this problem at the root, find out what that Bastard Shaanath is planning, suck dry every ounce of goodwill, of riches from those... Parasites, make them believe she’s content with the riches they have promised her, and then, when they wallow in their fungi, sated and happy their settlement is safe and that reckoning shall not come for them...

Kill them all, and trap the ring leaders onto the soul cairn like they deserve.

Starting from the bastards who aid shaglak in his slave catching ring, the remnants of the by now defunct Camona Tong, camping out, oh so conveniently, right on the road to the dwemer ruin her so called “master,” now lost in the fumes of his hallucinogenic tea, ordered to go.

#skyrim #project aho #long post #sse #skyrim mod #elder scrolls #last dragonborn #ldb #dovahkiin #backstory

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persephinae · 4 years

Text

The Vermire Survivor distrusting Shep on Horizon is valid. Cerberus was and is a terrorist organization. They were right, no matter how it hurt Shep or the player’s feelings.

like both hero worshipped Shep, both thought Shep could do no wrong because they were the Hero of the Citadel. They saved the galaxy! They saved so many lives over and over again!

but they were both hurt by Shep’s death and now apparent betrayal to that memory

and with unromanced Ashley & Kaidan, it was pure hero worship and then a slap in the face to see Shep standing there with terrorists, with no word to their former comrade.

You can see & hear deeper emotions underneath what they were saying (I always feel like unromanced Kaidan had unrequited feelings for femShep, and you can hear that in unromanced Ashley’s voice when talking to dudeShep).

#Cat replays ME2 #Cat rambles

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youeggbastard · 4 years

Note

🍒🍋 and 💧 for any OC you want to talk about!

:D :D :D Thank you so much for asking!! Ofc course I’m gonna answer for Ellie because I love her so much.

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship?

The biggest things Ellie require for any relationship, whether it be friend or romantic partner is trust and acceptance. This stems mostly from the fact she has lived a lot of her life without acceptance, so essentially if you ever hope to get close to her you have to show that you accept her flaws and all, as well as accepting the fact that she’s a werewolf and her very nature is beast like. As long as you give her this she’ll give you the same amount of trust and acceptance, the downside is that if you ever show the slightest hint distrust or unease she will shut herself away and basically lock the door making it near impossible to get close to her again, it’s essentially one of her coping mechanisms though it’s no less damaging both to herself and the other person and leads to a lot of miscommunication and broken relationships.

I would say she tends to be more of a door mat in a relationship lmao, at least at first. She’s not good at letting people in and letting them see her for who she is so she tends to hide behind acts of service that way people will give her the love she desperately craves. hence why she helps nearly every person in skyrim, from fetching lost items in bandit dens to saving a cat from a tree. She’s spent her whole life not feeling love that the only way she knows how to exist is at the service of other people. There will be a time where she gets more self confidence and starts being able to say: this is what I deserve.

Anyone that has ever gotten close to Ellie are probably the ones that essentially say I love you just as you are, and she doesn’t need to perform dangerous and incredible acts of service to get their love, so what’s really expected form her in her close relationships and just her being herself with no walls up.

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not?

I think it’s pretty much a given that anyone with as much self loathing as Ellie has is bound to feel a certain bit of jealousy from time to time. When she was a kid she definitely felt jealous watching the upper class of Markarth with their fancy dresses and full stomachs meanwhile she would be wearing rags and went to bed hungry most nights, that was mostly sparked from a desire to be them or at least to be fed (and also sparked dislike of the upper class that lasted probably until the day she dies lmao). When she’s older and now has people to lose (her friends and Kaidan and all) she almost always gets pangs of jealousy seeing them with other people, specifically people who aren’t werewolves or dragons and aren’t doomed to a life of tragedy as she is. Her thought process for this is what’s stopping her relationships from realizing they can have better and leaving her? Of course she knows this isn’t exactly fair or even healthy so she basically just smothers and represses them (because that’s so much healthier right?) Eventually she learns to trust both herself and her relationships more but until then those dark thoughts are going into the repression box!

💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

One of her earliest memories has to be of her mom teaching her to read, it’s mostly just flashes. The light from the candle slowly dying out, the shadows stretching over the pages, her mother smelling of lavenger and her long hair brushing against Ellie. It’s vivid flashes like that she remembers and holds onto desperately. She doesn’t remember her first words, but she grew up in a brothel in Markarth so she can only assume that’s where her first steps were. As for mementos, she has one old, beaten up, barely hanging on, copy of Kolb and The Dragon that her mother taught her to read on.

#asks #Oc: Eleanor #riften-homeowners-association

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dianapocalypse · 3 years

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Kieran Shepard - Character Profile

(Systems Alliance vector by Deviantart User Karlika)

I got extremely carried away so let’s go under the cut

this only goes thru about the halfway point of Mass Effect 2 right now because I’m still working thru the game! I’ll update it when I’m done with ME2 and after ME3 probably.

Pre-Mass Effect 1

Kieran Shepard was born on Earth and grew up in the slums of Chicago. She was shuffled around various foster and group homes for her childhood, and the only sense of stability she knew was in the gang she was recruited to at a young age, the Tenth Street Reds. She was part of the "Clubs" suit of the organization, specializing in hitting hard and fast. She was outfitted with her biotic amps by the gang to make her more effective in close quarters combat. She grew up very distrustful of law enforcement and authority in general.

After a job went south when she was 16 and she ended up tied up in a homicide, she was given the option by the courts to go to prison or go to an 'alternative education' school funded by the Systems Alliance. It was her first taste of structure outside of the gang life, and she adapted to it better than expected, eventually falling in line with the Alliance’s way of doing things despite her initial resistance to trusting the authority of a large military organization. Upon her graduation at 18, she joined the Alliance military. She served under Captain Anderson on the SSV Tokyo, and was one of the Alliance marines on leave when the Skyllian Blitz hit Elysium. Leading the charge to defend the colony and using her years of experience of fighting dirty and coordinating disparate people in the Tenth Street Reds, coupled with her military education, she and the colonists beat back the invaders and she was awarded the Star of Terra.

After this point, Kieran’s dedication to being the Perfect Alliance Soldier intensified; there were eyes on her now, and expectations to meet. The impostor syndrome began setting in. She fought back against it by overworking herself to be better than the best, taking even the slightest mistakes as evidence she was worthless and going to be discovered as the fraud she was. This only got worse when Captain Anderson hand picked her to be his XO on the SSV Normandy.

Kieran kept a fairly stiff outward appearance and did her best to emulate Captain Anderson, thinking this was what was expected of her. Despite this, she, Jenkins and Joker managed to develop a sibling-like banter while the Normandy was being prepped for its first mission.

Mass Effect 1

Eden Prime was her first mission officially having a command, Elysium having taken place before she was promoted. Losing Jenkins so quickly was terrifying, proof that she wasn’t fit to be here. But, no time for that, she carried out the mission, recruited Ashley, was sucked into the Beacon, etc. No one seemed to blame her for Jenkins’ death, which only served to make her feel more fraudulent. Like now that she had authority, there was also a lack of appropriate consequences. Her old disdain for authority tried to breach above the water, but she forced it back down. She found some solace in Kaidan’s logical, clinical way of explaining things, including Jenkins’ death; it helped the Subjective feel more Objective, and she came to trust his opinions.

The Council’s reaction to Saren was, as it is for all Shepards, infuriating. Again, her old reasons for distrusting authority had one more ‘point’ in their corner. Still, she did her best to stay in line, to be the Soldier she needed to be, and eventually to be the Spectre she needed to be. Losing Captain Anderson to politics, though, shook her. Before, she had at least someone higher than her on the food chain to turn to when she was in over her head. Now, she was on her own.

She came to lean more heavily on Kaidan’s advice during this time, and on Joker for levity. She didn’t take well to Garrus; his history as a cop and constant complaints that red tape kept him from getting justice done ‘his way’ smacked of crooked cops on Earth. Still, when they clashed, he tended to back down and consider what she said. She enjoyed Wrex’s company, though, his old war stories reminding her of the senior members of her gang on Earth. She also enjoyed her talks with Ashley and Tali, the former because of her candor-- Kieran could at least be sure Ash was always honest with her--and Tali because she was the only person on board who seemed as out of place as Kieran felt. Plus, Tali’s a delight, who wouldn’t like her? She was fairly ambivalent to Liara, not sure if she viewed her as more of an extension of her Prothean research as a person, and they had their fair share of awkward conversations, but there’s no malice there.

Kieran’s next Major Event takes place on the Citadel, when a member of the Tenth Street Reds tries to blackmail her into using her newfound power and influence to release one of their own from prison. In the time since she left, they became an even more outwardly xenophobic organization, which rubs her the wrong way. Doing her best to be a Model Soldier, she immediately reports him to C-Sec, leading to a confrontation. In the heat of the moment, Kieran panicks. Her past is a matter of public record, but she can’t have him dragging her thru the mud, spreading lies, hurting her reputation and the Alliance’s. Her position is too precarious. They’ll find out that she’s a fraud, even if he’s lying. She shoots him, intending it as a warning, but killing him on the spot instead. (I wrote more about this here when I played that part of the game!) The Turian cop is impressed. Kieran is horrified, both by her actions, and by the cop’s approval of her killing him in cold blood. She returns to the Normandy and throws up.

I’m fudging the canonical timeline a little bit here, but I think this event is what leads into Kaidan telling Kieran the story of how he killed the Turian ‘teacher’ on Jump Zero as a way of helping her contextualize what just happened. They Bond. The rest of the game unfolds without too many more Major Character Moments that are unique to Kieran versus All Shepards. Wrex survives Virmire, Ashley doesn’t. Ash becomes the second to die under her command, the first to die as the result of an explicit choice she made to save the man she has feelings for. The guilt threatens to rip her in half, but we have a galaxy to save, so she does. She manages to talk Saren into realizing he is indoctrinated, but it’s too late for him. She leaves the council to die on the Destiny Ascension, not willing to risk losing firepower to use against the Reaper, and is infuriated when the political spin on the story becomes that she was ‘protecting human interests over galactic ones’. She does not understand why the lives of three politicians should outweigh thousands of soldiers or millions of civilians on the Citadel, and she never will.

Having never trusted Udina, Kieran nominates Captain Anderson to lead the new council. She spends the ensuing months cleaning up pockets of geth resistance with the Normandy crew before getting spaced by the Collectors, as all Shepards do from time to time.

Mass Effect 2

Kieran wakes up in a Cerberus facility and is horrified. She ran into Cerberus plenty in Mass Effect 1, and her impression of them is bad to say the least. After fighting her way through the facility under siege and being horrified by Miranda’s actions killing Wilson, she heads to Freedom’s Progress, all the while trying to figure out a way to get out of this, even tho she suspects The Illusive Man’s statements that she’s free to do as she pleases to be lies. No one invests that much without expecting returns, or demanding them. Her only solace is in Joker, who at least seems not to have changed much, and Dr. Chakwas. She tries to communicate to Tali on Freedom’s Progress that she doesn’t want to be here, tries to get her to come along for the mission, but at least for now, she can’t. She goes to Captain Anderson on the Citadel to try to bring the mission to the Alliance, the Council, anything to get away from Cerberus, but he cannot help her. Her old crew is unavailable, Kaidan’s location is classified, she can’t get messages out to any of her old crew without risking Cerberus reading them and someone has to stop the Collectors.

Even though the two had never been close, she is elated to see Garrus on Omega, in as bad shape as he is. At least he’s a familiar face and someone who doesn’t trust Cerberus. She bonds with Zaeed for similar reasons to Wrex; she likes his old war stories and he reminds her of the people she grew up with. And, he doesn’t treat her any differently because of her status. She’s still guarded around Jacob and Miranda, she doesn’t trust EDI, and she immediately gives Jack access to all of Cerberus’s files. The two don’t exactly get along, but they at least have hating Cerberus and their colorful backgrounds in common. Grunt at least is easy to understand for her; prove you’re strong, and he’ll respect you. Good enough for now.

Horizon hits Kieran like a truck. Seeing the Collectors in action is traumatizing enough; then she sees Kaidan, who she’s been wanting to talk to since she woke up, who she hoped would understand that she’s trapped, and he lays into her for a situation she feels she cannot control. He says she betrayed the Alliance, betrayed him, wonders if their relationship meant anything to her. She’s stunned. Until this point, the fact that she was gone for two years never really felt real, never sunk in. But now it’s undeniable. It’s changed her, it’s changed the people she cares about, and she feels like she truly lost everything. Even after getting his follow up email (which I highly recommend listening to the voice actor read), Kieran’s mental health is in shambles. It’s not enough to undo her self doubt spiral. He thinks she’s a bad guy now? That she’s a traitor? Fine. No point in fighting it, then. (To be clear, I personally don’t blame Kaidan at all for Horizon, nor Shepard, it’s just a shit situation, but Kieran’s self esteem is SHOT)

Kieran starts getting reckless in the ensuing missions. She starts taking a lot more renegade actions, in a gameplay sense, things she would never have done when she was trying to be the Perfect Soldier. Now, everyone already thinks she’s out of control, and she falls back into old habits. If everyone already thinks you’re bad, it’s easier to just become what they say you are.

I’ve only done Miranda’s loyalty mission so far, and the first exception to her current downward spiral into Renegade is Niket. His logic reminds her of Kaidan, as does how Miranda describes their friendship; she tells Miranda not to shoot, has a brief moment of clarity that oh, yeah, killing someone you were friends with is traumatizing, probably. Don’t do that. She and Miranda bonded a bit over that mission, I think; she still doesn’t like Cerberus, but she likes Miranda, and I think that counts for a lot for her.

That’s as far as I am in the game at the moment! Her current attitudes to the rest of the crew are: Jacob she is indifferent to but respects his honesty; she doesn’t like or trust Mordin due to his treatment of the Krogan and the sense of racial superiority over the Krogan; she likes Kelly and the engineers fine; she has a respect for Jack even if Jack doesn’t like her; she likes Garrus more now that he’s not so into his “justice by any means necessary” bit but we’ll see how his loyalty mission goes; she likes Kasumi; she is really glad to have Tali back, esp because she’s SO OUTWARDLY HOSTILE TO CERBERUS and it’s great; she likes Grunt and views Zaeed as kind of a fucked up father figure; she likes and trusts Chakwas and Joker; jury is still out on Thane but she at least can see he does his job well; and she CANNOT STAND SAMARA. Might end up going with Morinth on this playthru!

If you made it this far, holy shit, why???? Also thank you!!

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #commander shepard #femshep #kieran shepard tag #diana draws sometimes

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