MC to Solomon: Yeah so, sometimes when I’m walking past Asmo’s room, I can hear him just laughing maniacally… And then he just walks out of his room with a smile on his face like nothing even happened…

I want joel miller in a way that is entirely concerning to feminism, fuuuuuuck

I feel like maybe one of the biggest reasons Lucius is having a harder time than anyone with accepting Ed back is because everyone else’s trauma was so obviously perpetrated by Blackbeard/Kraken but when he pushed Lucius he looked like Ed and that’s why it’s Ed’s face that haunts him and he ultimately thinks Ed is broken because it’s harder for him to separate the two now 🥲

No thoughts. Head empty. Just Jase hittin it from the back bullying you into getting loud enough for your shit bf to hear.

I really like the idea of Shiggy having squishy thighs. His thighs work like that one bird meme.

Like when he stands, thighs are sticks. Well toned. Might jiggle if you slap em hard enough. Doesn't look squishy at all but when he stands they expand to thiccccc squishyness that can jiggle if you want them to. The skinny jeans he wears really be hiding the good content.

Ya know? :3

Would totally be delicious to ride too...

Tumblr storytime because I have not stopped thinking about this for days. So I went into this antique jewelry store the other day (like it was CALLED Antique Jewelry Store) and I'm wandering around going "Wow, hey, there's a lot more here than antique jewelry, what a quirky little place, I like it." All of a sudden, there's this corner in the back I did NOT realize was there and there's a big ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK sign. Which. Okay antique jewelry store, well played, I'm curious. So I go inside this back section and all of a sudden everything is dark and there are haunted dolls hanging from the ceiling and a cabinet from an asylum and these horror dioramas, and I'm like "I do not see any jewelry and also I do not want to touch anything because danger." But this room just keeps GOING, and I have very little self preservation instinct, so I keep going right along with it. Well there's ANOTHER room even further in the back, and A VOICE calls out from inside it. When I tell you I nearly passed from this life into the next, it scared me so bad. But I poke my head in like any good protagonist should, and it's the store's resident witch. They complimented my drip, I contemplated buying this cute little ghosty painting, I checked out a real human skull, and then I went home. The end.

thinking about angel!reader and maybe…demon hunter!harry (i was thinking abt demonrry, vampirerry, or even incubus!harry but i think demon hunter goes best). also thinking this would be a period fic, bear with me y’all fr. reader probably gets sent down to spy on harry for a while and make sure he’s doing his job thoroughly, something about harry having a difficult time tracking one specific demon down.

anyways, since you’re always watching harry, you obviously see a lot of shit go down including: a shit ton of demon killing, harry’s ridiculously boring night routine, and a lot of hookups with random men and women he meets at bars and brothels and whatnot.

poor reader, you’re beyond confused when you come back to watch harry through his little cottage window, only to see him kneeling in front of a woman, head trapped between her thighs as the woman squirms beneath him.

fast forward to after harry finally confronts you about following him (because obviously he’s known all this time, he’s not stupid) and you two end up forming an odd little friendship. you continue to watch harry from a distance though.

at one point, harry even put out a bowl of food on his windowsill for you (because even though angels don’t need to eat much, he oddly finds himself worrying about you). you knock on his door to return the bowl and he opens it, glancing at the empty bowl in your hand as you frown at him. “i’m not a stray dog that you put food at your doorstep for.”

“you ate it though.” “yes i ate it. it was my favorite kind of soup.”

cute.

anyways, one night it starts storming terribly, and you were shivering in the cold and dark rain until harry suddenly slapped a piece of paper against his window with the words, “stop being stubborn and come inside.” written in black chalk.

reluctantly, you end up going inside. harry makes you a cup of tea and sits you down in front of the fire he’s made with a cozy blanket. he sits on the other couch across the room, reading a book (something you’ve learned he loves to do) as you slowly sip your drink.

you finally break the silence, “harry?” “…hm.” you look over at him, but he doesn’t look up from his book. you then shift your body to turn to him.

“…what was it that you were doing to that woman that one night?” you’re hesitant as you speak, “the one you met in town.” harry’s lips twitch, a ghost of a smirk appearing on his lips. “the blonde haired woman?” he asks. you nod before speaking, “yes.”

harry still doesn’t bother to look at you. “i was pleasuring her.” he says. you tilt your head in interest. “with?” “my mouth.”

you nod, turning away from him and breathing deeply. you think about it, about the actions he’d explained, and you find yourself becoming hot and bothered but you blame the fire for the heat rising to your cheeks.

“…harry?” “hm.” “how…how does that work?” a few moments of silence pass and he sighs, flipping the page. “you have never been eaten out before?” you blink at the words, glancing toward him to see that he’s now looking at you from across the room. “n-…no…i’ve never heard of that before…” you frown in deep thought. “how…how do you do it?” he raises an eyebrow as you glance toward him again.

“how do I do it?” he’s suddenly standing up and walking over to you. you watch with wide eyes as he walks over to you, your cold hands subconsciously squeezing the mug in your hands.

“well… i usually have them lay back on whatever surface there is…preferably a bed.” his eyes are soft and shine from the fire light as he gazes down at you, finally stopping in front of your seat. “then i spread their legs…and most times i touch them first, to get them excited. then other times i just go in and take all they have to give”

you swallow heavily at his words, wide eyes locked on his face. “has no one really ever licked into you before? lapped up all your pussy has to give?” you take in a shaky breath, shifting beneath his gaze as he leans down to your eye level, hands on either side of your thighs, thumbs brushing against your soft skin. “n-no…and must you use such crude words?” you huff. “sorry princess. how about cunt?” your face drops. “that’s even worse.” his hands are now softly kneading your thighs and you softly sigh, legs subconsciously parting just a smidge more.

“okay…what about peach?” you think for a moment before nodding. “would you like me to lick your peach, princess?” you silently gulp, heavily blinking at him before hesitantly nodding. and god, with the way harry’s looking at you like he wants to devour you, you almost feel like one of the demons he preys on every night.

story idea:

rich vampires at a big party where they play blood balloon (water balloons but blood you get it)

working class / poorer vampires come and see all this perfectly good blood going to waste, being thrown onto the ground, seeping into the dirt. soaking the other vampires

part of the fun of blood balloon is the frenzy that it causes, like a bunch of activated cats all squaring up.

imagine Joel making you ride his thigh cause you’re all too eager and whiny and he wants to punish you so he just says if you wanna be a horny lil bitch then you’ll act like one and rut against his thigh until you cum… hmm many thots

Am I the only one who is weirdly distracted by fics that say (y/n)?

Like, I can handle MC or something else generic like that but (y/n) just instantly tanks my immersion.

Also when I was nigh but knee high to a grasshopper, I thought (y/n) meant "yes/no" and I was so confused. Read something like "Take my hand, (y/n)!" And I'm wondering if it's like a choose your own adventure fanfiction.

Food for thought:

Your favorite male character is on the varsity volleyball team. He is well known, well-liked, and has all kinds of students at your university throwing themselves at his feet. Itching to get into his pants and call him theirs. But he’s your boyfriend. He is your kind, handsome, patient lover. And sometimes, you wonder why he picked you to be his girl. After all, he could be with anyone of his choosing.

Somehow, he had tunnel vision when you met. Saw you through rose-colored glasses and just couldn’t not have you for himself. He couldn’t get you off his mind and pursued you for a year until you caved and let him take you on your first date.

The rest was history.

Warnings: Cunnilingus, Language, Female Reader, MDNI beneath the cut!

He shows up to your apartment when your roommates are away to help you study for an exam. After a good crunch sesh, you both wind up on your bed watching T.V. He suddenly asks begs you to sit on his face. And like, pleads with his eyes glassing over as if he is about to cry if you don’t humor him.

You’re reluctant at first. Feel so hideous, wearing your bonnet, oversized sweatshirt, and glasses that take up 60% of your face. But he assures you that you are beautiful no matter what you choose to wear. After some coaxing—him kneading your ass cheeks and massaging your divine slit with his thumb through your boy shorts—he manages to get you on top of him, your pretty little ass settled atop his blistering tongue and your perfect tits pressed against his rigid dick.

Your bedroom is filled with lewd smacking sounds and your pitiful mewls as he devours your pussy like you’re the last meal he’ll ever have. His groans and endless praises push you closer and closer to the brink as he encourages you to ride his mouth faster. He wants you to cum so bad. His gorgeous, perfect girl. Of course, you’re terrified; you don’t want to suffocate him. But he likes that shit. He will die in the pussy if you let him.

Uuuuuugh, help meeeee.

Masterlist

"He knew Will Herondale had never haunted the moral world, because he had lived and died happily and had no unfinished business among the living. While Magnus didn’t subscribe to any specific set of beliefs about reincarnation or the afterlife, he had always had a strong sense that Will was waiting on the other bank of a dark river—be it Lethe, or some other border between the living and the dead. He was there among the green grass, the sky above as dark a blue as his eyes, waiting patiently for Jem and Tessa to join him, that he might lead them by the hand to whatever wonders lay beyond the veil."

Oh! (emocionada) I KNEW IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(SUPEREXCITED) I knew it. I didn't know how, but I knew it! Thank you, Cass! Always the perfect knot.

what if winter soldier had met john pre ca:tws

Hi my gorgeous babies!!! I'm backkk and also well let's just say these last few days have been fucking complicated because I came out to my mom (I'm bi) a few days ago and she kinda freaked out about it and she's been really shutting me out lately? Anyway! I've missed writing so I'm back on that on account of the fact that I miss it!! 😩😩😩

Idk y’all but I lowkey get the vibe that when Kai gets really tired he’s definitely a pillow prince