#just need him to come fuck me to sleep
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A little thing about me I have not yet learned how to make moodboards at all .... One day I will !
But my baby @xxhellfirebunnyxx made me my own me and Eddie moodboard so I wouldn't feel left out of all the fun. To say I am obsessed is an understatement!
#thank you again my love 😘#mechanic eddie munson#eddie munson#moodboard#eddie moodboard#he's my one trye love#just need him to come fuck me to sleep
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Ok so Time’s like
Which seems really crazy when he did ALL THIS
But friendly reminder this is the same person who did THIS
He strong
#run away dink#at first I was kind of like ??? seems pretty strong to me that’s a lot of wood#but then I remembered that scene#he freaking stabbed a hole in fucking CONCRETE#I like how dink looked so scared when he literally was coming at him enough to STAB A HOLE IN THE WALL#also how time knows his power well enough to identify what his full strength is and know when that’s not it?#he just needs to herd some goats and he’ll be fine#sorry for doing an essay in the tags#one of my favourite comics updated last night so sleep became irrelevant#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu update#linked universe update#Lu twilight#Loz#Lu time#Lu dink
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idk who needs to hear this but you can hate taylor swift without siding with the ai porn guys. disliking her isn’t an act of misogyny but ai porn of her is an act of misogyny despite her whiteness and wealth and power. like this is fr my problem with most ppl who hate her - they just abandon all of their principles when it comes to her. like we do realise she can suck and also not deserve nonconsenual porn made of her right?
#srry for ppl who haven’t seen this discourse hahaha#i’m just so ???? about it#reminds me of when everyone was taking kanye’s side years ago with that phone call thing#because they hate taylor swift#and it’s like - ok think what u want about the phone call and her reaction#but u have to agree that him making a fake nude plastic replica of her naked body#to have sleeping in bed with him in his music video#was actually disgusting#like she was 25 i think#and everyone was like ‘white woman victimhood tears wealthy woman boo’ etc#and it’s like ok ok but the music video was fucked up#we think the music video was massively wrong right#guys? guys??!!!#right?!!!!#anywho#just needed a rant#this shit affects more than just celebrities#and i don’t think ‘she deserves it’ should ever be an argument#no matter what you think of the victim#when it comes to this stuff#dl
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#over two weeks since my baby boy passed#i miss him more everyday. and its only getting worse#and i feel so responsible so fucking guilty its tearing me up inside#he was only 8 my tiny angel was only 8#i still cant believe hes gone#i miss him everywhere he isnt anymore which is. well everywhere#i havent wanted to die this badly since like my early twenties maybe not even then#spiralling bad ngl#when i bursh my teeth and he isnt at the faucet just hanging out. when i find some of his fur somewhere. walking by his favourite boxies#his sleeping places. my desk where he helped me study#just one breakdown after the other. all day#i miss him so fucking much every second of every day. he was with me ALWAYS all the time he was just there.#im still waiting for him to just. u know come back to me where he belongs#had one day where i was so dead inside i didnt even weep wail cry weep wail again for a whole day. 👍#but its convulsing on the floor o'clock yet again. oh well#u know the spiel. ignore me ignore this i just. needed to type this out#bb baby#txt.me
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married firstprince au set 10ish years in the future where alex is a victim of an assassination attempt while him and henry are apart and the absolutely heartstopping, bone crushing fear when henry gets the call........ bonus points if they were in the middle of a fight at the time............. hold on. i'm throwing up on myself....
#GOD. Everyone shut up okay just shut up#Henry just doing his thing minding his business#fighting the everlooming stress of the fact that it's been six days since he's seen his husband#and the last time he saw him they were hurling biting words and insults at each other#(something they agreed to never do since they got married)#and he's already not sleeping because he can't sleep without Alex#so he's a bit miserable.#But then Shaan comes to him one morning and he KNOWS#The minute he looks at his face he feels his heart fucking drop down to his stomach#and he's just like 'tell me he's not dead. tell me'#and Shaan is like 'he's not but it's bad. We need to go'#So the whole flight Henry's just sat there torturing himself over every horrible word he's ever said to ALEX#of all people. It's stupid. The whole fight was stupid and none of it matters because the love of his life might be fucking#dead by the time he gets to the hospital. Anyways. Alex is in surgery again when he gets there#and he has to wait another EIGHT hours just for a doctor to come out and tell him Alex is fine it was touch and go for a minute there#but he really doesn't hear anything beyond 'Alex is fine.'#Anyways when Henry sees his husband he crawls into bed beside him (careful not to hurt him of course) and just holds him#(and cries softly because he's just had the worst twenty-four hours of his life)#and he's still holding him when Alex wakes up and the first words out of his mouth are 'hey baby' and that's when Henry really loses it#Alex drifts back off to sleep (not without mumbling a sleepy apology and an I love you)#but when he wakes up#they talk and Alex is just like 'I was so fucking scared I would hurt you the way your dad did' and Henry is like#'what do you mean sweetheart?' and Alex is like 'i don't want you to know the pain of losing me i don't want to do that to you'#which nearly sends them BOTH over the edge and it's all very tender and sweet.#Anyways then they make out and fall asleep together in the hospital bed#and it's the best sleep Henry has had in days.#the end#future wips#fandom: rwrb
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it's so funny when I rewatch a show but with a new/different/additional crush. like I'm rewatching the librarians with my partner right now and it just feels soo different lol
#anyway. Jenkins 😍#on a completely unrelated note...#I need to learn more about pocket squares and ties.#because it's already driving me insane when they don't go together on night court but it's much worse on the librarians where I can actually#like. see stuff lol#I don't mean 'oh no the colour isn't an exact match'. more like 'these patterns and/or colours look fucking bad together'#but maybe there's like. reasons for that. rules that my silly little brain isn't smart enough to figure out#because all I'm basing that on is. my eyes and my opinion lol#anyway he's so baby. 🥰 and I definitely like him better now. very very huggable.#he takes that suit jacket off and I'm like 🥵#man I feel so weird about this :') but I must talk about it anyway or I will never get over that :)#like it just feels like. ohh this is weird I'm not supposed to think he's hot because he's old 😬 but he just. is 🤷#anyway touching his ears would fix me man it totally would#*with my mouth also. but whatever it's cool I'm not thinking about that#no haha why would I be thinking about it that :)#or when he sits on that table sometimes and I totally don't think about how I absolutely need to sit in his lap :)#haha noo I'm not thinking about fucking him at all who even brought that up#anyway i am very tired & have already taken my sleep meds so I am extra stupid rn :) and the dumb thoughts just keep coming out
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Learned today everything I thought I was reading way too into the assassins guild is all literally real and fully canon and fully intentional and so much more fucked than I ever thought has me still reeling. Im still so insane over this.
#GOOD NIGHT OF KNIVES TRANSLATION SAVE ME.#txt#I literally can not emphasize what learning how Horrifically Sad and Lonely zato one is did to my understanding of the guild as a while#he feels abandoned and hurt by slayer leaving.#his need for power and need to control every aspect of millia and venoms lives is directly tied to that.#he hates millia not for getting him locked away. but for Abandoning him. he was Left.#he cant sleep despite sleeping pills and other shit without holding onto her.#eddie cant die without being in her arms.#oh my fucking god.#millia willingly accepting some of his abuse because at least during sex she can forget.#millia lashing out at zato in a moment of weakness asking if shes happy because shes Not#because happiness to her is freedom. and he knows he is the reason she doesnt have that.#him just Accepting her Dream is to never see his dream ever come to fruition.#also like#venoms jealousy of millias abuse makes complete sense w this.#and of course millia would laud it over him. hes an ass.#god I literally havent stopped thinking about this since I read the wip. I cant. its so.#I cant fucking believe Assassins Guild is a narrative about how cycles of abuse and violence are perpetrated.#and how freedom from the cycle of your father and his father before him is Happiness.#THATS REAL. THATS NOT MADE UP. ITS REAL. god. holy fuck.
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#rambling to the void#ive not reached rock bottom#ive slammed face first into it#i’m exhausted#i haven’t been sleeping#and i don’t feel real and everything is going to shit#i did in fact just call my ex boyfriend and ask him to come over so i can sleep#how did the call go?#‘ik u used to hit me but can u come and lay in my bed so i can sleep’#dude i will literally peel my skin off if i don’t get some decent sleep soon. i get its a shit idea but it’s the best ive got#like pls#rock fucking bottom lmao#anyways it’s not. he won’t hurt me now so we’re all peachy. i just need to hear someone else breathing so i can sleep#tw abuse#<- past abuse
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crippling need to draw this image i have of sabigiyuu pressed back to front, giyuu holding onto the arm thats hand is splayed over his stomach/ribs, easily leaning his head back onto sabito's shoulder, his soft barely-there hold on giyuu's neck with their cheeks gently pressed together
#until the vibe to Do Shit comes back just imagine it for me ok? plz? im almost to tears thinking of them being soft#giyuu's trust in him so complete its second-nature and sabito's unwavering support & passion#FUCK GOD DMANIT I CANT USE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW THEY FUCKING FEEL ABT EACHOTHER. GIYUU BIG DOE EYES @ SABITO LIKE HES HIS ENTIRE WORLD &#SABITO HOLDING HIM LIKE EVWRYTHING HE NEEDS IS RIGHT THERE IN HIS HANDS.#FUCK#GOD THEY MAKE ME FUCKING INSANE I CANT EXPRESS HOW INTENSE IT IS AT THE SAME TIME. THEYRE EACHOTHER'S *EVERYTHING* SABITO'S PASSION GIVEN#DIRECTION & GIYUU'S UTTER DEVOTION HAVING SOMEWHERE TO SHINE#THERES A REASON VIGI!AU SABITO THOUGHT FAKING HIS DEATH WAS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP THEM BOTH ALIVE & REGRETTED IT SO DEEPLY ANYWAY#CLAN AU: SHIT MARRIAGE +ADULTERY GIYUU BROKEN AND HURTING YEARNING FOR SCRAPS AND SABITO BEING THERE TO HEAL HIS WOUNDS & GIVE HIM FEASTS#THEY WANT TO GIVE EACHOTHER THE WORLD THEY WANT TO GIVE EACHOTHER THEIR VERY SELVES FOR THE CHANCE OF HAVING KNOWN THEY WERE LOVED#WHOLLY AND UNHESITATING#i need to make them worse in my aus theyre not unhinged about eachother enough they need to be sewn together at the hip souls entwined#auuhuhh#i need to go to sleep#sorry for the mental illness moment ill do it again#sabigiyuu#loserboy giyuu posting#fratboy sabito posting#sabito#giyuu
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I still don't understand the obsession with Seiya. Let's just think about this situation from Usagi's perspective. Your fiance has gone to another country for school while you remain in your own country where you're just trying to get through school while something inside is telling you something is very wrong with your fiance because he's not calling. However, as if this isn't bad enough, some popular guy starts stalking you and insisting on being in a relationship with you although you already mentioned more than once you have a boyfriend, you have tried to let them off gently, but they can't seem to take the hint. To add more salt to the wound, your friends are encouraging this behavior and gaslighting you into playing along just so they can get with the guy themselves, which leads to you being humiliated and bullied. All the while, you still worry about your fiance and having the other guy continually insult him and trying convince you that he doesn't even love you anymore.
Because you know emotional abuse and gaslighting are just signs of love, right?
I have always looked at the situation from her POV ever since I watch Stars back in 2017. Especially the first episode after Mamo left and S.A.D and their two back up singers I mean the other two Starlights come to their school.
All Usagi wanted to do was try to get trough the school year without Mamo being there and be unbothered.
That's it.
Because the looks she gave them through that whole episode..
"I don't want to fuck with you. Leave me the fuck alone."
Which was so fucking relatable!!!
She showed zero interest in the fact S.A.D was an idol and The Starlight’s while the other girls was gushing over them.
All she wanted to do was make it through the rest of the school year without Mamo in peace damn it!
She told Luna when she ask if it was a club she was want to join like the girls are and this was her answer.
If the school said they was doing a student exchange program with high school students in America aka Boston Mass where Harvard is at, Usagi would be the first to put her name on the list and get the fuck out of there to see her man. English be damned. ( Which how the other four and Luna treat her I don't blame her. ) ( She looks like an Alien in the last pic but the 90's anime have the best animation... )
When S.A.D and the Starlights come to school, so was so unfazed with the fact they were Jpop Stars/Idols while all the other girls around the school was fangirling since they were apart of the fanclub. Also while Mina was start scheming, Mako was fangirling, Ami was secretly fangirling and Rei went from her damn school to their school just to see them after school.
Just think about the fact that she technically met them first before the four groupies I mean her friends met them.
But the way they acted toward Usagi because it because she could careless about them and the other two..
Doesn't make any sense.
And I get it.
It was nothing wrong with them fangirling over JPop Stars/Idols/ Boy Brands.
I am a 90's baby who was kid during TRL days on MTV and it was Backstreet Boys Vs.Nsync Vs. 98 Degrees. ( This was before social media was a thing)
My classmates had pics of B2K, Pretty Ricky, and other black bands on the wall and fight over who was their fave.
Hell Might as well include Boys to Men, All for One, New Edition.
Hell my sister was a HUGE fan of New Kids on the Block when she a teenager. Which now a few years ago, she got into KPop and is a huge fan of Shinee and other Kpop groups like NCT 127 ( and the off shoot groups with it's fifty elven members lol) , EXO, Stray Kids and others. Hell it got me into listening girl groups like Mamamoo, Red Velvet, Girls' Generation, CLC, Black Pink, After School and others
So I understand that and the fact they are 16 year old's girls because I was their age once.
Hell Naoko in the manga got them fangirling over them as well but it's a balance which the 90's anime didn't give them. They kept pushing S.A.D on her for their own personal grain and not thinking about Usagi doesn't want NOTHING to do with them.
Because this shit in that Softball episode and the Episode where S,A.D is at her house alone..
She gives two fucks that S.A.D is an Idol. All she wants is to see her damn boyfriend.
And she keep telling S.A.D over and over again." Hey I have a boyfriend." Hey I really don't vibe with you. Leave me alone." Hey We are not dating. I got someone I'm waiting on to come back." and S.A. D keep thinking " Oh She's just playing hard to get. She really digs me. Let me keep throwing my weight I mean Swag around her. "
Which ends up to their own heartbreak on the damn roof when it supposed to been about her and not about them.
Cause that moment was about her. I’m really tried of seeing so many scenes in the 90’s anime that her feelings get sideline for someone else. I’m tired of the part of fandom saying it’s about both of them.
She is on the damn ground in the gotdamn rain venting about missing her (dead) boyfriend cause she doesn’t have a clue why he’s not replying in which she told NOONE the whole damn season that she haven’t and you have the nerve to be like “ Am I not Good Enough”
You would done so much better if you would have hug her or just told her “ Come on lets get you out of this rain.”
Since they keep putting themselves in a situation that they know jackshit about and thinking Mamo didn't give a damn about her which is father from the damn truth.
" Oh He's making her sad..He doesn't love her.." DON'T TOUCH SHIT THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU!
The more insult to injury after the rooftop scence her "best friend" have the nerve to say this.
Child If your ass was paying attention the whole season instead of hightailing your ass from your school to the girls school just to see the damn Starlights you would have fucking knew all the damn time she told space alien dive ass that she had a damn boyfriend. She may have told yall that she haven't heard from him since he left but since yall been shitty ass friends for almost 200 episodes...
Especially one arc in particular which you sit up here , joked about her being dumped and precede to give her the most shitty ass advice you can give someone. " Oh You got to trust him" even tho he really give her ZERO reasons to trust him since he was hot and cold towards her. Which the rest of yall was like " Oh he had his reasons" which he did but yall didn't fucking rally behind her which yall most def didn't rally behind her dealing with Seiya and could told them to back off.
No yall asses was too busy using her proximity to Space Alien Diva ass and their two back up singers for yall own personal grain.
Be damned about a friend yall claim yall love and want to protect feelings.
HER FEELINGS NEVER FUCKING MATTERED TO NO ONE BUT FUCKING MAMORU!
But hey
People always going to use the break up arc against him when the one time he wasn't thinking rationally at all because all he wanted to do was protect her ( which he honestly though not from the dreams he was having but from himself because he still through he couldn't have no one close to him. Since he didn't have a set of friends and support system like Usagi did) which he didn't think it through and how it would affect her and himself greatly.
He was a freaking 17 years old boy having a dream about marrying the girl he is in love with ,having her die on which supposed to be the happiest day of their lives and having a booming voice to telling him " Oh you need to stay away from Usagi" which in his mind translates to him thinking that he is bad news/curse to her since she already died one lifetime because of their love.
Which he would rather just put the burden of staying away from her and dealing with it on his own instead of just telling her. Which for a 17 year old boy what the fuck do you expect? He have not matured yet which the most rational thing to do was to tell her. ( But hell some adults still don't tell shit.) Rei had dreams in S about the whole world including the girls getting destroyed and haven't told a soul until Pluto told her to tell them. No one got on her withholding important information about the world to her team.
But oh no
That's not forgivable but "Am I not good enough" is
When a person who made Usagi finally breaking down about missing Mamo and feeling like she can't do all this shit she is dealing with by herself into being " Hey what about me?"
I mean what about you?
Half of the season you got on her damn nerves thinking she was playing hard to get when she was constantly telling you she had a boyfriend and wasn't interested.
The rest of the season yall become friends but you thought you can " Treat her better than he can."
Then being upset that you found your princess and she's not interested in you so transfer your feelings to a person who most def not interested in you and your ass got hurt because you wouldn't simply listen to her and leave her the fuck alone.
Unrequited love is a bitch but come the fuck on.
Then it trips me out when people translates that scene to "Oh Am I not doing a good enough job to distract you from your sadness.” instead of S.A.D trying to “replace” Mamo is still making the scene about them.
Because S.A.D is still not understanding the fact that when she saw that rose, everything she held on inside the whole season come out and it was not only just about Mamo.
She have a group of friends and still feels utterly alone to the point that she didn’t even tell them she heard nothing from Mamo.
She has a guardian cat that she don’t even tell her what’s going on because she is so judgmental and still act like Usagi can’t do the work.
She misses not only Mamo that she doesn’t know what’s going on with him not retuning her calls or her letters but missing Chibiusa.
She have to deal with Outers and the Starlights bullshit and how the Outers don’t want to hang with S.A.D or be allies with the Starlights. While the Starlights don’t want S.A.D to do the same thing.
She constantly dealing with the inners shit and how they acted like groupies while using her to try to get close to S.A.D the until they found out S.A.D and Starlights identities. Which the inners are completely useless in fights she is having now.
She had to deal with S.A.D shit and not understanding that she have a boyfriend and just ask her to do things before just thinking she will automatedly do it with them.
To top that all off she got to deal with Galaxia and her people stealing people Star Seed.
All the while not having the one person that have been by her side since she become Sailor Moon. Mamoru.
No 16 year old girl should have to deal with that much shit.
And it all come ahead with her seeing that rose and think maybe just maybe he come back to her finally. That she’s not alone.
The saddness she feels runs deep and just because you think you finally decided to stop “ shoot your shot” and be supported of her you think it’s going to “Proof” magically disappear. Because you make her smile or laugh for a few minutes.
Naw dear It doesn’t work that way. No way in hell does it way that way because it’s more than her missing her boyfriend.
Usagi was depressed this season and you can’t tell me otherwise. So no amount of S.A.D trying to make her “ happy” would actually make her “ happy” if she’s not mentally.
But we should feel bad for S.A.D because they love her oh so much by pushing boundaries and throwing emotional baggage that weight a fucking ton on a girl who have to deal with her OWN emotional baggage!!
"Poor S.A.D! They just love Usagi so much. Bad Usagi for not bring their feelings into consideration while you are breaking down about being alone and missing your boyfriend.”
Poor S.A.D my ass
Sorrows, Sorrows Prayers Seyia
#Tanya rants about SM#I just went off at the end lmao#long post#I am sorry but something about S.A.D in the 90's anime and how people think they are the better choice for Usagi#when most of the season they annoyed the living fuck out of her#just gets a rant out of me every single time#because if this was real life and a person kept pushing a person to go out with them when the person clearly is not interested#people would be on that person side who is not interested#they wouldn't saying crazy shit to justify that person who is pushing#they would say the person who is pushing is wrong and need to back off#but nope not with this#then also in real life the person who is not interested friends who stand by their friend and tell that person to back off#not use the fact the person is pushing to get close with the person other friends because they are hot#it still frustrating to me because people would use oh it just fiction on every single thing in this show besides when it comes to Mamoru#then they put real life applications towards him#kiss Usagi when she is sleep they supposed to be allegory to Fairy Tale which is Naoko thing#oh He kiss her without her consent! He's trying to SA her meanwhile the person who really tries to SA her gets the#“Oh he's a villain doing villian things bullshit.”#2-3 freaking age gap that is not going to matter when they become adults#“Oh he's a pedophile! He should go to jail.”#Nephrite fucking grooming Naru which was an adult and using the living shit Naru to find the Silver Crystal and SM Identity#Oh they don't get together and he dies so it's fine It's so sad!!!#Like Fucking hell#The double standards use against that boy is fucking crazy.#Shit my damn tags become another rant lmao#Let me stop now lol#But one more thing#Be fucking fair instead of a damn hypocrite fandom
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one thing I thought was missing from canon sk8 was the mine being haunted apparently. so we are bringing that into burnished house for absolutely no fucking reason
#sk8 the infinity#burnished house#(I am jokeing there is. in fact. a reason)#(you will not learn this until the divorce comes up)#(well the preliminary reason is I fucking love ghost stories and want to put them in everything)#(and that reki is afraid of scary things which makes him my favourite kind of victim. younger sibling coded for that only)#Im actually having a lot of fun alternating povs between reki and langa bc Ive like. accidentally grounded langa's in#very clear and present bodily sensations. straight up uncomplicated observations about materials in the world around him#while reki's gets all the hyperboles and pretty poetic stuff. I enjoy the idea of him being good at storytelling#ESPECIALLY bc him taking words to heart including scary stories. big deal to me ok?#love to write langa and going from things that clearly are present right there in the scene to the most insane thoughts a man can have#and then write reki and jump wildly between dork ass energetic shounen character speech and romanticizing the fuck out of concrete#weird thing to say after writing three fics of like 20K+ words in total about them granted lmao#but like. listen. I feel like burnished house is me going apeshit so far. this is truly my time to be the worst ever#same approach as I took with [REDACTED]. oh you think this is bad? just wait#I have already added TWO old people ghosts into this one. be in awe of my power#well. be in awe of it when I finish this chapter... I need to sleep rn dksdfhdskj#have a good nite lads. I cant wait to get to that one spot in this chapter where I go yess... YESS!!!! HAHAHA YESSSS#wish u the same for ur art endeavour. if ur art endeavour doesnt have something like that u should add it. my message to da world
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UGRHJQHJI stress and this feeling of guilt and sorrow is eating me alive tonight i am NOT in a good mood right now omw to start EATING GRASS
#i dont know#i may delete this later#probably#school starting for me is NOT helping too#hopefully when/if I go to sleep I feel better#probably not bc then i’ll realize tmrw is when school starts#IDK WHY BUT IM JUST REALLY STRESSED FOR NOT MUCH OF A REASON#its fucking with me so bad why the fuck did my school have to mess up MY schedule so i dont know where to go on the first fucking day#also#i feel like i need to vent#not about stuff school related but#in general#but i know im not going to#because nobody is going to listen to my vents without shutting me off or saying they have it worse#that second part was directed at my mom but#the only person who will listen to me vent is my qpp#but i dont want to worry him about what im feeling#it shouldnt worry about my problems i just need to keep my problems to myself#damn im reading these tags right now and ig thats what happens when you come from a family who suppresses their emotions#and tell you youre hysterical when you open up 😇#omg ignore this#closet rambles again on tumblr
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Just got cameos from basically everyone in my fave band The Struts and just received the lead singer Luke (its like 4am hfsfbshdfbs) AND HE WAS SO SWEET AND GRACIOUS AND IM SO
#IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE#the struts#man I need to save for their concert now hfkfbwhfbewhfdvq#never seen them live#but they're coming back to the uk soon so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah#luke spiller#HAHA THERES NO WAY IM GETTING ANYTHING REMOTELY RELATED TO SLEEP TONIGHT#god cameo is the best#like I can't afford cons even in the uk because of travel hotel etc#let alone the price of photo ops and autos#and this way I get the time to say everything I want to the people I love#Im so so grateful#wish Bradley had one#Im glad that colin doesn't do social media though he's a wise rare breed lol#Id still love to meet him one day but at least I have his auto and my experiences at the globe and london#but man MAN I mean I love so much music and many artists but these guys are my fave band#and its happened to me now like I never had a fave band in my life#I just love loads of stuff#but in the last year or so these guys have just become my band and I feel like a teenager#andIm going fucking insane again#THEY ALL SAID MY NAME AND KNOW I EXIST#HELPERMFGWERGHWERBGWER
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Can't even pick a movie because everything reminds me of him
#txt#put the simpsons movie on 3 nights in a row cause its juat#just#not a reminder lol its the only thing#8 years of watching shit while in a relationship#and its all#a#reminder#i legit havent wanted to die so badly since i was a teenager#everything is fucking agitating me#i cant handle it#i csnt#i donnnnnnnttttttt wanna do this#omg#im going insane aha#he comes here and it makes him sad so i said dont come here anymore#but i need to see hi.#him#and talk to hjm#but he said im messaging too much when i asked#so what the fuck am i supposed to do#cant sleep without something on BECAUSE of him ahaha#the fucking irony man
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does anybody know how to manage arachnophobia? i'm physically shaking, covered in snot and tears, tired, but unable to go to sleep because i don't know where the spider in my room went
#mine#i ran for the vacuum cleaner but the spider was gone when i came back#and oh my fucjing god i cannot possibly go to sleep#i fucking screamed then i WHIMPERED out of fear just trying to step into my fucking room#i thought since i have the vacuum here anyway now i could just vacuum all under and behind my bed even though it's 2am#but i'm terrified of moving my bed#i imagine some kind of a spider nest or eggs there i'm fucking SHAKING man i don't know how to function i literally need therapy i think#this is UNMANAGEABLE i hate being so terrified i'm still crying and there's NO ONE to help me#in fact i must somehow make it without screaming if i find it again#or it finds me#because my roommate will be angry with me#i just called my father shaking and barely able to speak begging him to come to my place tomorrow and buy me some anti spider spray#or else one of those electrical devices#they scare spiders away#but like i said#i??? really mean it when i say i cried and screamed#now i'm just standing here in the cold room dreading the idea of going to bed because I KNOW if they're coming from somewhere it's THERE#jfc#i have to have my father help me#ohhh my fucking god i think i'll puke.#i literally think i need some anti-phobia therapy honestly#i can't wake up my roommate again i can't#godgodgodgodgodgod#what fucking punishment is this i can't move i am frozen to this spot anyway i move it'll be there#i don't fucking know what terrifies me so fucking much They're just little insects but i'm still frozen in spot nauseous and crying
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Thinking about makoto is so so so essential to plot of THH and the future of the rest of the series (even v3 to some extent) that if everything in sayaka’s plan went according to plan and she managed to pull a Tsumugi and get the main character killed, the game would honestly be over and then the rest of the series never happens. OR the game would at most last till chapter 5 because of Kyoko and then STOP because no one really cares after that after she dies.
#like no matter how much you try to switch who in THH becomes the protag these guys are just not cut out for it#the only person who I could see getting them to ATLEAST chapter 5 is Kyoko and maybe Byakuya#but then the train stops because with everyone having in alibi and no scape goat named Makoto. Kyoko is FUCKED.#and we all know Byakuya despite being intelligent isn’t going to look around the school for clues let’s be honest🧍🏾♀️#so the four rot in that school till the day they die or Junko gets bored then kills them#also none of them have sheer optimism that man has in him#like you not going to sit here and tell me some like sayaka Leon or literally any of them have that capacity of either of those#(other than well Hina but that’s more on the optimistic side of things)#the second most optimistic person is hina yet even in chapter 6 she despaired too#you need someone who is naive yet strong in their optimism and puts a lot of faith in hope that things despite how bad situation is#will see the greener grass on the otherside and won’t let any doubts stop them from seeing that grass#the only other way if is Mukuro has a change of heart before she’s killed or DR:IF happens#12 am thoughts yippee!!!#(aka me coming up with shit on the spot instead of sleeping)#makoto naegi#dangan ronpa
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