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doc-pickles · 3 years

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all's well that end well to end up with you (p.2)

Welcome back to part two of this fic! If you missed part one it’s right here! enjoy!!

xoxo nina

The absolute last thing Jo had expected when she came to New York for a medical conference was running into her ex-husband. It should’ve been on her radar, Arizona was headlining the conference, but she hadn’t thought that Alex would be interested in maternal-fetal medicine. Yet there they were, staring at each other across a crowded hotel lobby. Arizona interrupts her train of thought, welcoming her and gushing about how excited she is that Jo is now an OB.

“I have to run but I see your husband over there,” if Arizona registers her shock she doesn’t show it. “Good to see you, Jo!”

As soon as Arizona is out of sight Jo finds herself marching up to Alex and slapping his arm, “Ow! What was that for?”

“What was that for? Arizona just called you my husband,” Alex flinches and Jo can’t help rolling her eyes at him. “You didn’t tell her?”

“It never came up.” “Alex! It’s been three years,” at the mention of their separation reality seems to sink in around Alex and Jo. They haven’t seen each other in three years, not since Jo dropped him off at the airport. “Hi.”

“Hey. You look… wow,” Alex realizes his blunder almost immediately, stuttering over his words as he tries to correct himself. “Sorry, uh, about Arizona. I’m scared she’s going to hit me for letting you get away. Which, fair enough, you know?”

Jo takes Alex in fully for the first time. His hair is a bit grayer but he looks good with his sun-kissed skin and toned arms. He’s dressed in a button-up and slacks and in other circumstances, Jo would find him devilishly handsome.

“Yeah, you’d have to be pretty stupid to let this get away,” Jo sends a subtle wink Alex’s way and watches as he sighs in relief. “So what are you doing at an MFM conference anyway?”

“My hospital is opening a brand new neonatal and MFM wing so the board decided that the chief and some of our surgeons should come out and learn a bit more. It also helps that Arizona taught me everything I know,” Alex nervously rubs the back of his neck, watching Jo carefully. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m an OB now,” the shocked expression on Alex’s face makes Jo giggle. “I know but after… Well after everything that happened I needed some change, something to make me happy. So I switched to OB, adopted a baby, and dyed my hair blonde. The blonde didn’t stick but the baby and the career switch did.”

There’s an overhead announcement for the start of the conference, people moving inside all around them. Everyone else seems to fade away though as Jo and Alex meet eyes again. He’s wearing that dumbstruck look that he wore when she dressed or after she said I love you or when they’d lay in bed together. Despite the years and distance between them, Alex still wears the undeniable look of love he always did when he looked at Jo.

“I gotta find Carina but… I’ll see you around?” Alex nods, still entranced with Jo as she turns to walk away. Their interaction is brief but it makes her crave Alex all the more.

Late that night Jo finds herself alone at the hotel bar. Carina had initially joined her but had gone back to their room to call Maya and their daughter. Jo is about to head up herself when someone sits on the stool next to her.

“Jack and coke for me and a whiskey sour for my friend here.”

Jo’s head whips up in surprise as Alex settles down next to her, a smirk gracing his lips, “It’s still a whiskey sour right?”

“Yeah thank you,” Jo nods to the bartender as he hands her the drink. “So… we’re friends now?”

“I’d like to hope so,” Alex picks up his glass and Jo gladly toasts him. “To new beginnings”

“To new beginnings.”

Alex and Jo sit together and discuss what’s changed for them. There’s no awkwardness or hostility like Jo might have thought. Instead, it genuinely feels like catching up with an old friend. She talks about Luna and proudly shows a video of the young girl counting to 10 in Spanish. Alex brings up a photo from Izzie’s wedding of himself squished between Eli and Alexis, all three bearing matching crooked smiles and bright eyes. Jo can’t help the swell of pride that mounts in her chest at the sight. Eli looks more like Alex but she can still see the Karev shining through Alexis as well. For a moment she wonders, goes through the what-ifs, but she quickly pushes them down.

“I think I’m gonna head up but I really enjoyed catching up,” Alex leans down, pressing a kiss to Jo’s cheek. Her skin flames up under his delicate touch and she knows she’s wearing a deep blush. “Goodnight Jo.”

“You missed.”

“What?”

“You missed,” Jo leans up, her fingers brushing Alex’s cheek as she pulls him down into a deep kiss. She brings her other hand up to tangle in his hair and pull him closer, sighing contentedly as his hands find her waist and pull her flush against him. She pulls back only slightly, leaning her forehead against Alex’s. “Are you still leaving?”

“Not without you I’m not,” the words sound so natural as Jo melts into Alex’s embrace, his arms wrapping fully around her. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss before they’re stumbling out of the bar, not drunk enough to blame their actions on the alcohol but just enough to begin to heal the open wounds of their failed relationship.

Everything after that comes naturally, the lost lovers escaping upstairs and falling into bed with practiced ease. Jo feels right at home in Alex’s bed, both of them remembering each other’s bodies as if they’d never parted. Neither of them thinks twice about the pillow talk they share after or the way they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. It’s not until the next morning when Jo answers her phone that she realizes things are amiss.

“Mmm hello?”

“Thank goodness, I thought you were dead.”

“Carina?”

“Where are you? You missed the first speaker of the day.”

Jo bolts up in bed, finally realizing where she is. Alex’s arms snake out and around her waist, his gruff voice slightly muffled by his pillow, “Come back to bed, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Carina I’m going to grab a shower and I’ll be down as soon as possible.” There’s a light laugh on the other side as Carina confirms Jo’s plan, “I’m glad you’re having fun, Jo.”

Jo hangs up, jumping out of bed and searching for her clothes in a rush to get out the door. Her frantic pace brings Alex out of his sleepy stupor as he rubs his eyes and watches her, “Where are you rushing off to?”

“Well it’s 10:30 so I already missed the lecture on in utero surgery,” Alex rolls over, groaning when he sees that Jo is correct. “I’m hoping I can fit in a shower before Arizona goes on.”

Once she’s finally dressed Jo walks back to Alex, her lips brushing over his lightly before she pulls him in for a sweet and sensual kiss. She watches him for a moment, taking in the shocked look on his face, “What?”

“Why aren't you mad at me? I left you.”

“I forgave you a long time ago for that Alex,” Jo runs her fingers across his cheek, meeting his eyes with a serious stare. “As soon as I held Luna I understood why you did what you did. I knew that if I felt that way about a baby that wasn’t even mine yet that you couldn’t leave two kids who were half you. I always knew you would be a fantastic dad. Even if it wasn’t with me I’m glad that you got that.”

Jo presses one more chaste kiss to Alex’s lips, leaving him staring dumbfounded at her, “Can I come back tonight?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex seemingly ignores Jo’s last statement, looking up at her with a sorrowful expression. “Leaving you… leaving you was my biggest mistake. I love my kids but you were everything. You’re still everything. And I know you say that you forgave me but I never apologized. I’m so sorry Jo, you didn’t deserve how I left you.”

There’s an amicable silence as Jo and Alex just stare at each other, both of them with tears welling in their eyes. There’s not much else to say, but they both know that their newfound relationship wouldn’t end with the weekend.

It's three weeks after Alex‘s surprise weekend visit to Seattle and Jo has never felt so terrible in her life. Despite Carina‘s prescription of an anti-nausea medication Jo’s morning sickness and vertigo continue to plague her no matter what she tries. She hasn’t operated or delivered any babies in almost a month, her work routines now consisting of doing chart work and checking on patients when she’s not trying to keep food down. Between trying to maintain her work schedule and keeping up with Luna on top of her pregnancy, Jo is exhausted and completely depleted of any energy she might have once had.

She finally hits her breaking point an hour into her shift when she’s thrown up for the fourth time that day and nearly passes out. Her head is swimming as she leans against the bathroom stall, the only thought she can focus on is how much she wishes Alex was there. He always knew exactly what she needed when she wasn’t feeling good. There’s a knock on the door and she barely lifts her head when she sees Carina walk in.

“I’m admitting you. You need rest and fluids and you’re not going to get that if you keep running yourself into the ground,” Carina places her hand on Jo’s forehead. “You’re burning up, mi amor.”

“I’m fine, I don’t need to be admitted,” Jo attempts to brush off Carina as she grabs her hand, but the rush of blood to her head stops her. Carina barely catches her as her knees go weak and her vision blurs.

“What am I going to do with you, Jo? Come on, let’s go.”

Jo doesn’t put up any more of a fight, following Carina to a room and all but collapsing onto the bed. Her brain is foggy, words incoherently falling from her mouth as Carina asks her questions. Finally, her eyes flutter shut and Jo is enveloped in silence.

When she pries her eyes open again the sky outside is dark. Jo realizes this is the longest she’s slept in over a month and lets her eyes fall shut again. Only a moment later she remembers her morning with Carina and a deep panic sets into her bones.

Her baby.

As if sensing her unease, Alex reaches his hand out to grab hers. Jo then realizes that he’s sitting at her bedside, eyes tired and body restless in the small chair, “The baby’s okay, you don’t need to freak out.”

Jo nods, rubbing her hands over her face in exasperation. Even though their baby is okay Alex’s worried expression tells her that things might not be all rainbows and sunshine.

“Carina called me after you passed out. Scared the shit out of me, I thought you were dead or…,” Alex doesn’t finish the statement out, Jo putting the pieces together and settling her hand on the slight curve of her stomach. “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself.”

“I didn’t pass out, my vision went spotty and I was light-headed. And then I took a nap.”

“Jo, you slept for 15 hours straight. You were out long enough for me to finish a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, drive an hour to Kansas City, hop on a four-hour flight, and sit in traffic from the airport to get here. You’re running yourself into the ground,” Jo avoids Alex’s gaze as she fights back tears. “Carina took your blood when she put you on the IV drip. On top of being dehydrated and having iron deficiency anemia you also have an untreated UTI that’s bordering a kidney infection.”

“What?” Jo sits up abruptly but is immediately overcome with a wave of dizziness. Alex moves faster than her, placing one hand on her back while the other holds a basin in front of her. Head still in the basin, Jo speaks up, “Are you serious?”

Alex confirms the news once more, his hand rubbing Jo’s back gently, “She’s got you on strong meds to combat the infection and the baby is doing fine. You just need to take better care of yourself, Jo. Between work and Luna and now this baby you’re stretching yourself too thin.”

She can't help the rush of emotions she feels or the loud sob that breaks from her as Jo lets the last few weeks finally take their toll on her. Alex is quick to wrap her in his arms but even that does little to calm her down.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been really overwhelming and I’ve been doing everything alone,” Jo wipes at the tears pooling under her eyes and settles into Alex’s side. “I’m just exhausted from everything.”

“You’re not alone Jo, you have me and Mer and Link. All of us are more than willing to help you out.”

“Meredith and Link have their own families to take care of. And you live halfway across the freaking country, I can’t keep expecting you to drop everything and come to my rescue,” Jo knows that Alex wants to refute her statement but she avoids looking at him. “It’s just me and Luna and it’s so hard. I thought having a medically fragile infant was hard but that was nothing compared to all of this.”

Alex leans down and presses a kiss to Jo’s forehead, pulling her closer to him, “We’ll figure it all out, okay? I’m not letting you take all of this on by yourself.”

The words comfort Jo, if only slightly. She knows Alex has changed, knows that he really means it when he says that he’s going to take care of them. She’s not entirely sure what the future holds for them but she knows that everything will work out.

Meredith isn’t entirely sure what to think when she uses her key to unlock the penthouse only to find it empty. The furniture is still there but the personal items are all gone. The photos of Jo and Luna are gone, all of the drawers and closets are empty, and the place is eerily quiet. When she loops back to the living room Meredith finally notices the note taped to the fridge written in Jo’s loopy script.

Link or Meredith-

Luna and I are fine, there’s no need to worry about us. I promise we’ll call soon.

-Jo

The note gives Meredith a strange sense of deja vu, taking her back to when she had packed up Zola and Bailey and gone to San Diego. The memory instantly worries her, she can’t blame Jo for running but she also knows that their situations aren’t the same. Meredith pulls out her phone and dials Alex, hoping that he’s heard from Jo but the call goes straight to voicemail.

As she walks out of the penthouse Meredith hopes that Jo is okay, hopes that Alex knows where she is and that he’s able to help her through the rough road she has ahead of her.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. How was the flight?”

“Besides the rambunctious three-year-old and constant nausea it wasn’t too bad,” Jo grins up at Alex as he takes Luna from her arms. “I can’t believe we’re here.”

Alex lets out a laugh as he folds Jo into his arms, squeezing both girls tightly, “Finally, it only took a month of begging.”

“Yeah well I figured now was a good time, you know before I get any bigger,” at the mention of her expanding baby bump Alex lets his hand float down to the curve of her stomach. She’d hidden it well with sweaters and baggy scrubs but now there was no denying that she was pregnant. “This is kinda crazy, isn’t it?”

Alex and Jo both laugh at that, knowing that nothing they’d ever done was traditional or normal. They’d divorced almost four years ago and now found themselves with three kids between them and a fourth on the way.

“What? You moving to Kansas after we’ve only been back together for a few months? I’d say it’s not completely sane,” Alex takes in Jo’s shocked face with a smile. “What’s that look for?”

“So we’re together now are we?”

Alex laughs before he bends down and captures Jo’s lips, only parting upon Luna’s insistence, “Only if you want to be.”

“I do.”

“Good because I fully intend to have you say those words for a third time,” Jo’s jaw drops at Alex’s words and it takes everything in her to calm down her racing heart. “You think I was just gonna bring you out here without marrying you?”

“Well, I-”

Alex takes the opportunity to press another kiss to Jo’s lips, “It’s okay princess, I promise this is the last time.” Jo finds herself standing in awe as she watches Alex and Luna look for their bags on the conveyor belt in front of them. There’s a flurry of tiny flutters that erupt in her stomach, partially from the baby wiggling around but mostly from the joy, she felt at Alex’s proposition. Since their reunion in New York, all Jo has wanted is exactly this, a life with Alex. She had thought that wasn’t in the cards for them anymore but as she watched him hoist Luna onto his shoulders she knew that everything around them had worked out perfectly.

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #nina writes

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hotchgan · 3 years

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College AU pt 4

A/N: So this is also going to end in a cliffhanger so .. Anyways, thanks @ellyhotchner for helping me with this

Taglist: @ellyhotchner @unionjackpillow @eleanorbloom

Warnings: Child Abuse/Abuse, stabbing, gunshots, hospital, surgery, talks about murder

Word count: 1.7k

Aaron groans in pain as he opens his eyes. He looked around him to see himself in a hospital bed. He frowns as he tries to remember what happened. Foyet. Foyet happened. Foyet came into his dorm and stabbed him. Aaron looked down at his stomach to see it wrapped in bandages.

“Aaron!” Derek says as he walks into the room. He sat down in a chair next to his bed.

“W-what happened?” Aaron said quietly. Derek paused trying to figure out the right words.

“You were stabbed … stabbed nine times”, Derek says. Aaron suddenly remembers what happened that night.

Aaron held on to the counter as he tried not to fall. He felt the knife go into his skin again but this time deeper. He felt tears coming into his eyes but he tried not to show fear.

“See? This is what happens when you don’t listen to what I say”, Foyet snarled as he pushed Aaron to the wall. Aaron fell and tried to stop the bleeding with his hands.

“Don’t try to stop it, it only hurts more”, Foyet says as he moves Aaron’s arms. Aaron felt a tear fall down his face. He prepared himself when the knife pushed into his stomach for the third time.

“I-I remember”, Aaron says quietly. Derek looked at him with empathy. He also remembers. He remembers clearly when he got a phone call that Aaron was in the hospital.

Derek ran into the hospital doors. He just got a phone call from Professor Rossi that Aaron was in the hospital. He sees Rossi and Penelope sitting down in the waiting room.

“What happened?” Derek asked Rossi. Rossi looked at him sadly.

“Foyet got to him”, Rossi said, carefully. Derek looked at him for a second before anger filled his mind.

“This is your fault”, Derek said.

“What?” Rossi asked.

“He was supposed to be after you. But now Aaron is in surgery”, Derek said, raising his voice.

“Derek”, Penelope said softly.

“No, you said you found Foyet”, Derek said who was now practically yelling.

“I-I said I found his address”, Penelope choked out. She hated when people yelled at her.

“Derek”

Derek turned around to see Spencer behind him. Derek hated when people saw him vulnerable. Derek looked at the ground trying to hide his tears. Aaron was his friend and now he could die. If only Derek had said no or tried to convince Aaron to stop searching Foyet.

Spencer walks to him slowly and pulls him into a hug. Spencer hates touching people or being touched but he made an exception to Derek. Derek hugs him back soaking Spencer’s sweater.

“I’m sorry”, Derek said into his sweater.

“It’s ok, Derek”, Spencer says,” It’s ok”

Derek looks at Aaron who was trying to process what happened.

“Was anyone else hurt?” Aaron asks.

“No”, Derek says. They both stayed quiet for another moment until someone came into his room.

“Aaron!”, Emily says as she runs to Aaron’s bedside. She pulls him into a hug. Aaron freezes but hugs her back.

“You moron, I thought you were dead”, Emily says, choking out tears.

“Hey, don’t cry please”, Aaron whispered. Emily was one of the most fierce people he knew and seeing her crying breaks his heart.

“No, I’m going to cry because you have no idea how long I had to wait to see if you were going to make it out alive”, Emily says. Aaron pulls her into another hug.

Emily sits far away from the rest of her friends. She couldn’t risk them seeing her cry. Aaron was in surgery because he tried to protect them. She should’ve convinced him not to write back or to stop looking for Foyet.

“Emily”, JJ said softly. Emily looks up to see JJ sitting down next to her.

“It’s all my fault”, Emily says with tears falling down her cheek.

“No it’s not”, JJ said, holding Emily’s hand.

“I- I can’t stop crying. I’m not supposed to cry. Crying means you're weak and-” Emily started saying when JJ cut her off.

“Crying doesn’t mean you're weak. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be sad”, JJ said. JJ was the only person who could convince Emily to do anything. JJ placed her head on Emily’s shoulder while she cried for her friend. JJ felt a few tears coming down her face.

“I-I’m sorry for worrying you”, Aaron says.

“Oh shut up, stop apologizing. It's really annoying”, Emily says. Soon the rest of Aaron’s friends came in. Penelope bought cookies for Aaron and Rossi apologized for putting him in this situation. They all comforted Aaron and made his hospital gown wet from the tears and hugs. For the first time in a long time, Aaron felt loved.

Aaron’s eyes widen as he sees a tall man with piercing blue eyes and dark hair walks in. He looks at his friends.

“Uh, you guys should go”, Aaron says. His friends nod and leave the room.

“Hello dad”, Aaron says to the older man.

“Hello, son”, Micheal Hotchner says. He walks over to Aaron’s bedside and crosses his arms.

“You went after a serial killer?” Michael asks. Aaron could hear the chill from his voice. Aaron nods weakly.

“How stupid could you be? After the years I’ve been beating you in the basement you would at least think you would have some common sense. Do you know how embarrassing it is to leave the court to find out your idiot of a son is in the hospital?”, Michael says sharply. Aaron’s eyes fill up with tears. Aaron looks at his father.

“Could you at least care?!” Aaron says, raising his voice.

“Excuse me?” Michael asks, shocked at the sudden change.

“I’ve been stabbed nine times by a serial killer. And yes, I know it’s stupid but could you at least care that I got hurt? I could’ve gone to the police and told you all about you abusing me and ruined your career but I didn’t. You want to know why? Because I thought you still love me”, Aaron says with tears streaming down his face.

Micheal looks at him and then looks down at the ground. It’s the first time in his life that he has been looked down on by his son. He doesn’t know how to react.

“I know how grandpa used to beat you. I know how you would flinch every time we visit him. And I feel bad for you. But it doesn’t mean you also get to treat me like crap. It’s time to stop this. Please, I’m begging you”, Aaron says who is now sobbing. Michael looks up to his son whose eyes were red. Micheal tries to say something but no words come out of his mouth.

“The doctor says you need to stay at the hospital for two weeks and then you have to rest for another week. I don’t want to see you doing anything else during your recovery time, ok?” Micheal says quietly. Aaron nods and Michael walks out the door. It’s the best thing he can do right now.

Aaron’s friends look at each other in shock. Derek had his suspicions but he didn’t think it was true. And Rossi who had always thought his father was a good person. He used to be the best profiler but he couldn’t figure out that Aaron was being abused. He’ll never forgive himself for that. Emily couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She couldn't believe how a man could beat his own son. She feels angry at his father for hurting him, but she also feels sad that this has been a cycle going on for generations. And as for the rest of them, they’re still in shock.

Aaron wipes his tears away when two doctors come in. One was a tall woman with short dark hair and another was a short woman with long brown hair.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Alex Blake and this Dr. Tara Lewis”, said the shorted doctor with brown hair.

“We were the surgeons operating on you”, Dr. Lewis says.

“Uh, thank you. For keeping me alive”, Aaron says.

“It’s our job”, Dr. Lewis says with a chuckle.

“Anyways, due to the severe injuries, you have to stay here for a whole week so we can monitor you", Dr. Blake says. They both explain his recovery time and what to do and what not to do.

"Ok, I think I got it. Thank you doctors", Aaron says.

"No problem", Dr. Blake says with a smile. They both walk out of the room and to their other patients. Rossi walks in.

"Professor Rossi", Aaron says," What are you still doing here?".

"I came here to apologize", Rossi says.

"You already did", Aaron says.

"Not about Foyet but about your father", Rossi says. Aaron looked at his hands. He really wished that no one heard that conversation.

"I'm sorry for assuming your father was a good person and for saying how you both are similar when you're really not", Rossi says, apologizing.

"You may look like your father but you're nothing like him. You were willing to take the fall for your friends. You were willing to get hurt as long as your friends are safe. You always put others first", Rossi says as he walks towards Aaron's bedside. He places his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

"You're nothing like your father", Rossi says.

"Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm going to become him. I don't want to make my child go through the same thing I did when a was a child", Aaron says, still looking at his hands.

"How about this, if you ever start becoming like your father, then I'll personally stop you", Rossi promises. Aaron chuckled.

“Thank you”, Aaron says, finally looking at him.

“No problem, kid”, Rossi says. He walks out of Aaron’s room.

Aaron sighed as he finally got some peace and quiet. He decided to take a nap because he was so exhausted. Aaron slowly drifted to sleep.

“Please …”, Aaron said as Foyet stabbed him for the fifth time.

“I can’t believe a college student thought he would catch me. How stupid are you?” Foyet asked as he stabbed him again. Aaron choked out a sob. He just wanted this to end. He doesn’t even care if he dies. Aaron started to feel weary and almost fainted.

“Wake up”, Foyet snarled.

“Wake up!”

Aaron wakes up to see Foyet pointing a gun towards him.

“I thought stabbing you nine times would kill you so I’m going to do this the old fashion way”, Foyet says with a grin on his face. The next thing Aaron remembers is a gunshot and blood on his face.

#Aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jennifer jj jareau #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #david rossi #tara lewis #alex blake #Jemily #moried #Criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds au #college au

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tintentrinkerin · 3 years

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OURANOS

Rating: Teen and up / PG-13 Pairing: Sam/Dean, Dean jr./original characters Tags: 15.20 (Carry On), coda, character death, mourning sam winchester Summary: Sam mourns Dean’s death, but he carries on. For him. Word count: 1.1k

Read under the cut or on AO3

Two weeks after Dean's death.

This is Sam's new calendar now. He doesn't care if it's monday, March or Christmas. It's 14 days after Dean died. There's nothing else left for Sam. Only mourning.

Sometimes Miracle won't sleep in Sam's room. He would sit in front of the door to Dean's room whimpering. Sam cries silently, picks him up and carries the dog away. „I know buddy, I miss him too.“ Sam would whisper in the dark empty cold bunker that isn't home anymore.

Carrying on is hard when the person you call home is gone.

Four weeks after Dean's death.

It's not that Sam wouldn't think of suicide. He actually does constantly. There's plenty of material in the bunker to end his life. But he doesn't know where he'd end up. And life without Dean is already hard, how would eternity feel like?

* Sam stops hunting. He knew Dean wouldn't want him. He wanted Sam to fight. But definitely not to hunt. He had done this one last case because Donna had given away Dean's number. But Donna is gone. Jody is gone. Alex. Claire. Sam is the only survivor of this game.

* Sam is pretty sure that Dean would've killed himself when Sam had died in that barn. This thought hurts Sam deeply. He wants to flip a switch. Be like Dean. Go crazy. Sleep around, break things. But that's not Sam. And never will be.

Three months after Dean's death.

Sam knows people. They give him a new identity. He's Sam Campbell now. Not original but it does its deed. Charlie's magical credit card still does magic and Sam gets a new wardrobe. He thinks about applying for jobs, but so far, he doesn't know what to do with the rest of this life.

Six months after Dean's death.

Sam decides he needs therapy. He can still pay with the credit card. It's not that he wants to use it forever, but he's incapable of moving on. Damn, he isn't even able to mourn. He cries sometimes. But there's no one he can talk to. * It's Dean's birthday. Sam has no grave he can visit, no place to mourn. So he mourns in the bunker's kitchen, open bottles, stale burgers and a blackout.

Eightteen months after Dean's death.

It's Sam's birthday. He remembers Mrs. Butters.

Two years after Dean's death.

Sam leaves the bunker. He unplugs the whole thing and sends it back to sleep. He has only used his own room and the kitchen after Dean died and he's sick of being there. It makes him sad, it paralyses him. That's partly the therapy talking but he knows his therapist is right. * Sam is surprised that he gets a job. He's a ranger in a national park in the middle of nowhere. Mostly he looks for lost people, hurt people, dead people. Same for animals. He likes being outside, always moving. It keeps him busy.

He meets his future wife. She is nice, she is desperate and she reminds him of Amelia. She's lost her first and only child in a tragedy at a youth camp. Sam knows she's with him, because she needs someone to hold on to. And Sam is just as lost as her.

Three years after Dean's death.

When the hospital calls, Sam's in his office. She's in labor.

* She's okay with the name Dean. She knows that's the name of Sam's dead brother. She's just happy to have the baby.

Sam starts finding meaning in life again. He leaves a legacy. A legacy that should be Dean's.

Dean Junior is one year old.

Sam is pretty old for a first time father. Almost too late, his wife's friends think. He doesn't listen to the talking of the others. He's there when Dean's first word is „Da“, similar to Sam's first word when he was a toddler. „De.“ * He's a fast learner and soon he can say „Daddy“ and „Mommy“ and „Pie“.

* After the first words, Dean Junior makes his first steps. Sam tears up and it's hard to calm down.

Seeing Dean Junior grow and learn and shape into a young man, these are 18 years for Sam that go by in a blur. The life he just carries on living to make Dean happy, is making him happy.

Miracle dies two days after Dean's seventh birthday. He buries him in the backyard and paints a cross for him.

„Mirucle.“

Dean has his first crush. On his history Teacher. Mister Warren. Dean has his first girlfriend. She looks like Claire and is just as stubborn.

Dean has his first boyfriend. Ricky from art class.

When Dean turns 18, Sam decides to show him the bunker. Tell him about hunting. And finally, talk about his uncle. It's been years since Sam dared to talk about Dean Senior.

Dean Junior is first terrified. He's a gentle soul, but he surely is hunter material, Dean would say. Him and the wife get into arguments, Dean Junior enters a gothic phase. And then gets the anti possession tattoo.

„I'm one of you, dad. I'm a Winchester, I want to learn about hunting. And I want to become a man of letters.“ Sam is so proud, he has no words.

Dean Junior is twenty one.

Sam feels weird. He feels like he can't pee anymore. His sexual function decreases. It's not that he needs and wants sex that much anyway, but he starts worrying.

The doctor's find the reason.

Prostate cancer. Sam at first is horrified. But also... He's over sixty years old now. He has lived a good life. And he's ready to be back with Dean.

He gets chemo and radiotherapy. They cut out his prostate.

He survives.

Dean Junior is twenty eight.

He has built a small hunting network. It's just him and some other survivors of the fight against God. Some of the names are familiar to Sam. He marries his hunter partner Nickie.

Dean Junior is thirty two.

The cancer is back. But this time it's in Sam's bowels.

The doctors talk about relapse and metastases. They offer him chemo, radio, surgery. All that jam. But they also say, „This is stage 4a. High grade.“

Sam isn't stupid. He won't recover from that. He's in his seventies now, his kid is grown up. His wife has already passed. They would just buy him two or three months.

He denies medical procedures. He wants to die at home.

And that's what happens.

Dean Junior is supposed to celebrate his 5 years anniversary with Nickie, but they cancel their plans to be with Sam.

„It's okay to go.“

And Sam knows. It's more than okay.

Honestly, he has waited for the day he truly dies for about 35 years.

When the reaper comes to get Sam's soul, he's crying in joy. „Will you take me to Dean?“, he asks.

The reaper smiles.

#sin is sinning #coda #implied wincest #rating: teen

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endless-vall · 4 years

Text

I can’t lose you again - Part II - Watch over me, okay? - Dakota x MC fanfic

Summary: While Alex knows that she should have the surgrery, making that decision is harder than it seems.

Author’s note: You can read the previous part here.

I was very conflicted about posting this fic. The story (with every hearbeat) is already heartbreaking as it is. But eventually, I decided it was worth it.

Let me know what you think.

You can read the next part here.

“Isn’t it really ironic that the Oncologist gets cancer?” Alex asks, Mateo and Lennox back at her side.

The tests & scans confirmed it.

And it’s been progressing rapidly. Too fast, even.

“Now you get our humour?” Lennox raises an eyebrow, trying to keep her act together. But Alex can see that underneat, she’s really not okay. She’s the most unsettled she’s seen Lennox in years.

“Fifteen years too late, huh?” Alex snarked back and Lennox smirked at her, while Mateo avoided her gaze. He hasn’t really spoken in the first few days.

He’s been trying to be supportive but kept his sentences short, until they got the answer.

Alex had glioma. In her brain. It has been causing the hallucinations of Dakota.

And it has progressed quickly, quietly.

Mateo and Lennox stepped out to let the doctor talk with Alex over treatment plan.

But honestly? Alex wasn’t paying much attention.

“We’ll start surcigally, to remove the tumor. Dr. Emery will preform a craniotomy and take the mass out. After that we’ll follow with radiation treatment or chemo depending on the pathologist’s report.....”

Dr. Lozoya explained everything, but Alex already knew the drill. She knew what plan of treatment awaited her, and honestly, even if she tried to focus on her she wasn’t really able to.

Dakota was standing there, in the corner of the room. He had a melancholic smile, in contrary to other times she’s seen him.

But he still had those dreamy eyes. Alex felt like she was falling in love all over again.

“Alex? Is everything clear or do you need me to go over anything again?” Dr. Lozoya eyed her questioningly.

“Everything’s perfectly clear.” Alex gave her a fake smile.

Dr. Lozoya nodded. “Dr. Emery will check in with you to explain the procedure and get your consent.”

She stood at the door, turning back for just a moment. Dr. Loyoza was her doctor now, but she was also her colleuge. “Get well Alex.” She gave her a weak smile, before exiting.

“I thought she’ll never leave,” Alex talked to Dakota for the first time.

He stepped closer, closing the distance between where he stood and Alex’s hospital bed.

“I missed you,” He gripped at the railing, his lips growing into the charming smile Alex knew and loved.

“I’ve missed you too.” Alex beamed, moving her hand to cover Dakota’s, only to pass right through him and meet the cold railing.

Right.

He’s not really here.

But it feels so real. As if he was there. And he would be there, for her.

Alex was sure he was still watching over her, just like he promised all those years ago.

“How are you feeling?” Dakota asked, making Alex snap out of her thoughts. Even if he wasn’t really there, he was just what she needed.

In a sense. He was there for her. And that’s what’s important.

“Not great,” She motioned with her eyes to the hospital bad and machines. “But let’s talk about something else.”

“What do you have in mind?” He sat down on a chair next to her bed.

“Did you hear about David Nolan’s new movie?”

“You have to tell me all about it!”

And they chatted away, Alex was fascinated with Dakota, watching him rambling on all kinds of stuff, before Dr. Emery walked into the room.

She knocked on the door, after stepping in, to get Alex’s attention.

Alex looked away from Dakota. “Yes, Dr. Emery?”

“Alex...” Harper stepped inside.

Alex and Dakota weren’t talking anymore, but the nurses must’ve heard her. She didn’t mind, anyway.

Harper took a deep breath, composing herself, before going back into strictly professional mode. She went over the craniotomy procedure, explaining Alex exactly what she was going to do in the OR.

“Is everything I said clear? Do you have any questions?” Harper asked, finally.

Alex shook her head.

“I only need you to sign those papers, consenting to the surgery.” Harper placed the papers in front of Alex, along with a pen. Alex took the pen in her hands, looking over the form.

Her eyes wandered over the room, sending one more look at Dakota, who was sitting quietly behind Harper. He was smiling at her. That damn smile...

Alex gulped. “I’m sorry,” She placed the pen down, without signing.

“What do you mean?” Dr. Emery’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you not satiesfied with our course of plan? You know surgery is the best option--” She tried explaining again why was it so important that they move quickly, that it was Alex’s best option, and so on and on. “The surgrey is your only option. Without it, you only have four months,”

Alex heard everything, but when Harper finished her speech, she simply shook her head again.

“I can’t do it, this is my final desicion.” She shrugged.

Maybe it was stupid. But she couldn’t let go of Dakota. Not a second time. Not from her own will.

Maybe it’s the tumor talking.

But this was her desicion.

“I hope you change your mind. The sooner, the better.” Dr. Emery exited her room. Alex could see her talking with someone outside.

‘Maybe you could change her mind...’ She only heard part of what they were saying.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT HAVING THE SURGERY?!” Mateo burst into her room.

It’s the first time he burst into speaking since recieving the news as well.

“You haven’t spoken to me since you heard I have cancer. Now you care?” Alex doesn’t know what gotten into her - but she was replying before she knew it.

“Of course I care! That’s why it’s so hard for me! But you have to have the surgery!” He argued.

Alex sent a glance at Dakota again, then back to Mateo. “I can’t...” She trailed off.

Mateo followed her gaze, but he couldn’t see anything sitting behind him.

“Alex, I know you miss him. We miss him too. I MISS HIM. So much. But I can’t lose you too. Not without fighting... Please...” He finally cooled down. A tear rolled down his cheek, and he sat next to her bed.

“You can’t just give in. Please.” He gripped her hand, which was still resting on the railing.

The feeling of the warm skin, compared to falling through Dakota’s hand almost shook Alex back into reality. Almost.

“Alex,” Lennox finally spoke up. She moved from the entrance of her room towards the other side of the bed.

“I know you’re thinking about Dakota. But if the real Dakota was sitting there, wouldn’t he want you to fight? Wouldn’t he convince you to have the surgery?”

Alex looked at Lennox. She did make a good point.

But could she really say goodbye to Dakota the second time?

Mateo’s gaze hung hopefully at Alex. Lennox had a stiff expression but underneath she was pleading at her too.

“I guess...” Alex murmered.

“So you’ll sign the papers?” Mateo asked. They were still waiting in the corner of the room.

“I need some time.” Alex objected.

“Alex...” Mateo gupled.

“I’ll sign them... Just... Give me some time?�� She asked, her own eyes filling with tears.

“You don’t have much time.” Lennox argued, her grip on Alex’s bed tightning.

“Just until tomorrow. I’ll sign them tomorrow. First thing in the morning. Promise.” Alex decided.

Mateo and Lennow shared a concered look.

“If you promise...” Mateo shrugged.

The air still felt heavy, but it was starting to clear.

“So, did you watch any good show lately?” Alex asked, changing the subject.

After a few seconds of delibarating, they finally fell into place and started chatting again.

Lennox and Mateo stayed even later than visiting hours allowed, but eventually, a nurse came to shoo them off.

“Alex, just remember. You promised.” Mateo brought the form she had to sign closer to her, placing it over her nightstand.

“Don’t worry.” She nodded, smiling at him.

He gave her hand one last squeeze before waving her goodbye.

After everyone left her room, Dakota came back to sit next to her.

“She’s right you know,” Dakota doesn’t look straight at Alex. He’s gawking across the room.

“So you’re saying I should have the surgery?” Alex asks, her tone serious.

Now she’s taking advice from a dead person. A hallusination, no less.

“Of course I want you to have the surgery.” He finally looks back at her. Alex feels, for a brief moment, as if the real Dakota is sitting next to her. His expression is emotional, and tired, and weak. Like he’s helpless. He can’t help her. And it’s killing him.

“But then I’ll stop seeing you. I won’t be able to tell you all about my life. You won’t be able to watch over me anymore.”

“I’ll alway be watching over you. Don’t you know it already? You’re hurting me, teach.”

At his mention of her nickname, Alex’s eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, listen to me.” Dakota’s figure moved closer, placing a hand over her shoulder comfortingly. But Alex couldn’t feel his hand on her. Seeing Dakota wasn’t the same as having him here, now it was more clear than ever.

“You won’t be letting go of me for the second time, Alex. I’m already gone. But you don’t have to be...

You should fight. And win this horrible battle. And one day, at the finish line... I’ll be there for you.”

A tear rolled down Alex’s cheek. “Promise?” She asked, voice weak and trembling.

“Promise.”

Without further words she took the pen in her hands, and signed the consent form for the surgery.

#playchoices #with every heartbeat #weh #dakota winchester #dakota x mc #playchoices fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #hurt/comfort

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nellie-elizabeth · 5 years

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Grey's Anatomy: Reunited (16x03)

I'm going to try and rapid-fire this review... there is always so much to talk about!

Cons:

Maggie continues to make everything about her. There's a moment when she's lamenting to her octogenarian patient that love isn't worth all of the backstabbing and pain, and it's like... Maggie, honey. This isn't about you. This is about an old man reminiscing about his life. Calm the heck down. I like Jackson and his new girlfriend fine, but mixing in the drama with Maggie is unnecessary.

I have been a Tom Koracick fan for a long while, but now he's acting like a whiny little baby. I don't really get his game here. When he was meeting Teddy's baby, he was totally sweet to her and said he'd wait for her when Teddy and Owen's relationship fell apart. But now he's behaving in such a way that it's hard to imagine Teddy taking him back, no matter what. The restraining order thing is mostly being played for laughs, but that doesn't really work. It's absurd.

I'm always glad to see Schmitt get some material, but this week he messed up something simple in a surgery and DeLuca had to swoop in and save the day. DeLuca is acting like a bit of a dick also. He's mad at Bailey for effectively benching him, because he believes it's on account of his relationship with Meredith. But he's coming across really condescending to his peers. I don't care if he is better than all of them. The way he behaved with Helm and now with Schmitt is not painting him in a very good light.

I also must say, I'm waiting for some more clarity on Bailey vs. Meredith. Bailey seems personally angry with her. I could see it as a thing where she's upset because Meredith basically forced her to fire her best doctors, but even that doesn't fully explain the vitriol. Maybe Bailey is annoyed because she agrees with Meredith's principles, but isn't allowed to say anything? I'm willing to give this the benefit of the doubt, as I bet we'll see this story develop over the season, but so far I'm lacking some clarity.

Pros:

Amelia and Link continue to be kind of adorable. After watching a couple be reunited after sixty years apart, Amelia decides that keeping the news of her pregnancy a secret is a bad idea - it's scary, but she wants to share this joy with the world. She and Link tell Meredith and DeLuca, and Meredith seems genuinely excited for her. This could really wind up being a cute story!

I'm still not on board with Owen and Teddy, but I do like that Teddy is coming back to work, and that she is not being demonized in the slightest for this decision. As Owen says, happy moms are better moms. You go, Teddy!

Meredith seems happy. She's obviously a little bit manic, as I'm sure she's extremely nervous about her medical license. But at the same time, she's standing up for what she believes is wrong with the medical system, and is getting ready to expose the nitty gritty truth. This could end up blowing up in her face, but she's standing up for her principles, and it seems to be making her really happy. It's also fun to see her and Andrew as such a well-adjusted and happy couple.

It's also cool to see Jo being such a bad-ass! She performs a surgery that Meredith was supposed to do. Bailey consents to have Meredith assist through an iPad, since she won't allow her to set foot in the hospital. There's a brief scare where it looks like Jo may have made a mistake, but she pulls through and saves the day. It was a cool moment of triumph for her, undercut by Bailey hanging up on Meredith as soon as the hard part of the surgery is over, and the fact that Qadri tries to stand up for Meredith by saying that she only came to this hospital to work with Meredith Grey. She gets fired for her trouble, which is a serious bummer, and I hope we see more of her anyway.

The plot thread with Richard and the two sisters with their brain-dead third sister was really interesting and ended up being a comedy of errors, when they discover that the mutilated brain-dead woman that they've been crying over is actually a stranger who stole their sister's purse, and not their sister. This was an odd plot thread, probably mostly there to showcase the guest stars, but I thought it worked pretty well. Especially the bait and switch at the end, with the reveal that Richard has just pulled the plug on a Jane Doe instead of an identified person. There's a moment where you think that maybe the hospital is on the upswing, but then another big mistake like this happens and you see that Richard and Alex have a long way to go. I hope Richard isn't about to be an adulterer again, as he tries calling his wife but doesn't get an answer, and decides instead to go out to dinner with an old friend who he finds working at the hospital.

See, this review isn't too long! I limited myself! I'm sure I've missed tons of details along the way, but this is about as good as I can do right now. This was a solid episode, even as the various relationship dramas continue to annoy the heck out of me.

8/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's abc #greys abc

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set-phasers-to-whump · 5 years

Text

whumptober day 6

prompt: dragged away

whumpee: kyle valenti (probably literally no one else whumps him but oh well)

fandom (figured i should probably start including this): roswell new mexico

i kinda really super hate this but at least its something right? anyway there’s a little bit of mylex bc i would fucking die for that ship ok

Losing a patient is something that most surgeons have to experience at some point. Sometimes complications arise. Sometimes they make a mistake. Sometimes, despite their best efforts, there’s just nothing that can be done.

Kyle Valenti knew what it felt like to lose a patient. He’d dealt with a lot of bad situations, and usually he managed to come to terms with the loss. Some guilt remained with him, of course, but he tried to focus on his successes. He’d saved a lot more people than he’d lost. He knew it was important to remember that, but it didn’t make dealing with the losses any easier.

Today had already been a long day, and it was only just lunchtime. Kyle had completed a risky surgery on an elderly patient, and she was currently in recovery. It was impossible to tell for sure at this stage, but it looked as though she was going to be okay. So he was currently trying to relax in the cafeteria, a task that was proving to be impossible as he was paged back into surgery.

He knew it was going to be a rough one as soon as he heard the description- “gunshot wound to the abdomen, potential organ rupture.” He and his team prepped for surgery. The victim was young-seventeen at the most, and apparently the injury had been sustained in a shootout of unclear circumstances.

Kyle hated it when the hospital received cases like this-no kid should be the victim of a gunshot wound, and yet, this wasn’t the first time he’d had to do an operation like this.

They began the surgery. It quickly became apparent that this was going to be an especially difficult one-there was, indeed, an organ rupture, not to mention a lot of blood loss.

The team, led by Kyle, worked tirelessly, trying to save the boy, whose name, they had learned, was Sam. His mother had arrived half an hour into the surgery, frantic. The hospital staff had explained that they had a team of their best surgeons doing all they could to save her son. Kyle had been asked briefly about his condition (“his mother just got here and she’s panicking. How’s it going?”).

Kyle knew how it was going. Bad. He and his team were doing absolutely everything they could, but the fact of the matter was, there was too much internal trauma. After about two hours, his heart started flatlining. Kyle had been working frantically, trying to stop the internal bleeding while avoiding causing more trauma to the boy’s organs.

At the sound of the steady beeping tone, one of the surgeons grabbed the defibrillator, and managed to restart the boy’s-Sam’s-heart. Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief as his heartbeat returned to the screen, faint but there. Kyle continued his precarious work-and then everything fell apart. Alarms started going off, resuscitation failed, and finally, at 3:14 p.m., after nearly three hours of desperate work, Samuel Gonzalez was pronounced dead.

Around him, Kyle’s team began cleaning up, each of them looking miserable. Kyle himself, the leader of this surgery, the one who was supposed to save this kid, couldn’t tear himself away from Sam’s body. “There has to be something…” he whispered. “I can’t...I can’t have let him die.”

He heard a wail from outside the door. Sam’s mother. He had killed her son! If he had just been better, faster, more observant! He should have done something, should have saved him! It was his fault this kid was dead, his fault, his fault…

“Doctor Valenti, you need to exit the room, please,” said a nurse from the door. He knew her-Lydia, a recent graduate of nursing school. She stepped into the room when he didn’t respond. “Kyle,” she said softly. “Come on.”

He just stood there. He couldn’t make himself move. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Lydia walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You did everything you could,” she said.

“No, no, I should have...should have…”

“There was nothing else you could do for him.”

He grabbed onto the edge of the operating table. “I couldn’t save him…”

“Come on, Doctor. We have to clear the room.”

He still didn’t move. Lydia gently grabbed his arm. “Kyle.”

He still didn’t move. She walked out of the room, returning shortly thereafter with another, taller nurse in tow. “Doctor Valenti,” this nurse said, crossing her arms. “You have to leave the room.”

When he didn’t reply, she sighed and picked him up around the waist.

“No! Wait!” he yelled desperately. “Wait…” he said, pleading.

The nurse pulled him away from the table, his fingers desperately grabbing at its edges as he was peeled away. “No! No! I should have saved him...I should have saved him.”

Out in the hall, the boy’s mother was being comforted by one of the surgeons on Kyle’s team, who was reassuring her that she would be allowed to see her son soon, explaining how they had done everything they could. She was shaking, and she looked so small and so broken.

The nurse set him down as she closed the door behind her. He sunk to the ground next to the door and stared ahead blankly.

A shadow stood over him. Slowly, Kyle looked up. “You were the one in charge?” He nodded.

“They say you did everything you could.” He nodded again, numbly. She nodded back at him, then took a deep breath and opened the door. He could hear her whimper of grief as she saw her son’s body.

He sat in that hall, staring at the wall, until someone came to find him and inform him that his shift had ended. He walked to his car in a daze and somehow managed to make his way home without getting into an accident.

As he reached his door, he realised there was someone in his house. The lights were on and he could hear the muted sound of his TV playing. He found he didn’t really care too much and opened the door anyway.

Alex and Michael stood up from the couch as soon as the door opened. Kyle stood there, looking utterly devastated and empty. They shared a quick look before approaching him, enveloping him in a hug.

“Why’re you here?” he asked quietly.

“One of the nurses called me,” Alex explained. “Lydia, I think? I met her a couple weeks ago. She said you’d had a pretty bad day and asked if we’d come visit you. So here we are, of course.”

The three of them settled down on the couch, Kyle squished in between them. Alex grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it over their laps, and Michael slid an arm over Kyle’s shoulders.

They fell asleep like that, at some point, tangled together in a pile of blankets, an old movie playing quietly on the TV. In the morning, there would be lots of stiff limbs and heavy hearts, but for now, at least, there was nothing.

i know this really fuckin sucks i hate it too im so sorry

#whumptober2019 #no.6 #dragged away #my writing #i say things #roswell new mexico #kyle valenti #emotional whump #im so sorry if you read this #i know how bad it is and i can only apologise but i gotta post something right #anyway on a brighter note i seriously love mylex so much so i wrote a lil bit of it bc !!!#i cannot be bothered to read this fucking thing one more time so if theres mistakes im sorry

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selwynkane · 4 years

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heeeey, I saw the gifset of Lexie x Sloan and it brought so many memories back!! :3 unfortunately I don't remember their story very well and I was wondering if you could make like a quick review of their relationship, please? lol I know this is so weird but omggg, I used to ship them so hard when I was like 12 xD

Hi!! I’m actually rewatching greys and this show is so damn messy but I think this is somewhat chronological:

Season 4/5: Mark thinks Lexie is hot but Derek specifically says he can’t go for her because she’s too young and hence the nickname “Little Grey”. Lexie thinks he’s hot and says that the interns are having “sex to forget about the secret surgeries” and THEN homegirl shows up to Mark’s apartment and says “teach me” while taking off her clothes (iconic really)

They start a relationship which is genuinely one of the better/healthier relationships in this goddamned show, until they end it because Mark’s daughter, Sloan, shows up pregnant & Mark wants to be a grandpa & Lexie isn’t ready for that.

In this time, Lexie dates Alex, they break it off after the shooting because Alex doesn’t want to deal with Lexie’s PTSD & thinks having a bullet in him can help him get girls.

Mark dates Teddy (briefly) but he cheats on her with someone else (although they weren’t exactly exclusive, i don’t know) (also I think he cheated on her with Julia) anyway, Teddy breaks it off

Lexie & Mark, through a shitload of ineffective communication, still love each other, but don’t tell each other. (Also Sloan like disappears, so idk)

In between these 2 points, they get back together AGAIN but break up because Callie is pregnant with Mark’s baby & Mark still wants to be a father and Lexie still can’t deal with it, so she’s in the same situation as before

Lexie starts dating Jackson & Mark starts dating Julia (eye surgeon @ Seattle Pres) but Lexie is clearly jealous of Julia and therefore Jackson breaks it off with her.

Lexie realizes that she love loves him and tells him that, but he’s still with Julia & she shows up for like a dinner date or whatever idk. And nothing gets said.

And then the plane crash. Mark tells her he loves her & they’re gonna get married & have kids the whole enchilada. I cry. You cry. Lexie dies, a part of all of us dies.

Mark gets to the hospital, he’s STILL WITH JULIA. He tells her to leave because Lexie, the love of his life, is dead, and then he has some surge of energy, and then dies.

That’s it. Very depressing.

#grey’s anatomy #text #answered #THIS IS SO LONG SORRY #i legit spent half an hour on it.

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doctorgreyshepherd-blog · 5 years

Text

Two Lines Chapter Three

The OB wing of the hospital was different from the rest of the hospital. It was painted in a soft pink unlike the rest of the hospital's stark white walls. Nurses wore scrubs with cartoon ducklings and rabbits printed on them. There were piles and piles of magazines and pamphlets on side tables all over the waiting room. Someone had obviously done their best to make that wing feel detached from all the gloom that surrounded the rest of the hospital. Still, Jo didn’t like it.

It felt like someone had taken all the corners of Grey-Sloan and worn them down into a family friendly, bite-sized, hazy version of itself. Normally, Jo didn’t have to spend any time in the OB wing. She rarely left her office that she shared with Bailey. But now she was sitting in an uncomfortable, upholstered chair leaning her head against the wall of the waiting room.

“Are you nervous?” Alex asked giving her hand a squeeze. He smiled at her sensing his wife's unease. It seemed like Alex hadn’t stopped smiling since Jo had told him she was pregnant a week ago.

Jo shook her head. “Not nervous, I just want to see this little guy.”. At six weeks along she wasn’t showing yet so it looked a little awkward when Jo rested her hand on her stomach. Honestly, she was a little nervous. What if it was an ectopic or chemical pregnancy? The chances of that were slim to none but still, Jo liked to plan for the worst.

“Little guy? It’s more likely that we’re having a girl. Most chil-…” Alex began

“No we’re having a boy, I can tell,” Jo said. “It’s a motherly instinct.” She said decidedly. Her eyes tracked a surgical nurse who walked through the waiting room on her way to the fetal surgery ward. “We should have gone somewhere else, everyone’s going to know we’re pregnant before this appointment is even over.”

Secrets didn’t stay secret very long at the hospital. When she was an intern, Jo didn’t understand why Meredith called Grey-Sloan the “rumor mill” but after her ordeal with Alex and DeLuca, she understood. “We can’t go somewhere else. It would look like I didn’t trust my own doctors.” He said. “Plus, no one ever listens to nurse Ruth anyways.” He stuck his nose up in a very accurate impression of the nurse.

Jo tapped her foot against the tile keeping with the beat of the off-brand pop music playing through the intercom. She just wanted to get it over with. She hated the waiting, the unease of it all. A woman in baby pink scrubs stepped into the waiting room. “Doctor Karev, we’re ready for you.” She said.

Jo gratefully rose from her seat, Alex's hand still in her own. She drug him through the aisles of chairs toward the door that lead back to the exam rooms. “Right this way,” The woman said. Jackie her name tag read. As they walked to the exam room Jo felt a wave of nausea wash over her and she couldn’t tell if it was from her nerves or from her morning sickness. She stopped dead in her tracks and clambered for the trashcan that sat next to the door.

She collapsed to the floor and emptied the contents of her stomach into a trash can that was normally reserved for gloves and tongue depressors. Alex crouched beside her and pulled her hair back. She melted against the pressure of his hand that rested against her back. When she felt slightly better she stood up and faced the nurse. “Sorry about that.” She apologized.

The nurse shrugged obviously unfazed by pregnant women and morning sickness. “I’ll get you something to settle your stomach before your exam.” Jo smiled gratefully. They continued following her to their exam room.

Alex took her hand again and kissed the top of her head. “You okay?” he asked his wife. Jo nodded.

Jackie opened the door to exam room 7 and ushered them in. She pulled open the doors of a cabinet that hung on a pale yellow wall, fished out a small, oval-shaped tablet, and gave it to Jo. “This should help with the morning sickness for today.” She said. “Doctor Morgan should be in any minute.” She smiled.

“Thank you!” Jo said as the door latched shut. Her entire body was full of excited energy. She was about to see her child for the first time, hear its heartbeat. That was an insane concept that she still hadn’t really wrapped her mind around. When she turned around to face her husband he was simply standing there, smiling at her.

“What?” Jo asked raising an eyebrow. She sat on the exam table with her legs kicking in the air above the tiled floor.

Alex shook his head, “Nothing.” He said. “I just… It feels weird being here, doesn’t it?” Alex looked around at the room, a giant poster of storks carrying baby animals was on the wall across from him. “I still think that it’s a girl.” He said.

“No way!” Jo protested. “Fifty bucks says that we’re having a boy.”

Alex stared at her wide-eyed. “You are not putting money on the sex of our child.” He laughed.

Jo grinned. “We totally are!” The idea of betting on the sex of your child made Jo smile. It made the giant, slightly terrifying journey in front of them seem a little more approachable. They were definitely having a boy.

#greys anatomy #alex karev #greys #doctorgreyshepfics #doctor karev #jokarev #jolex #jolex fanfiction #merlex #meredith grey

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lovecanbesostrange · 5 years

Text

Here’s another post about Grey’s Anatomy, and yes of course I’m again talking about Jo Karev. Sorry followers who don’t watch this show, but my Jo feels run me over like a truck twice a year...

I’m kinda amazed that she’s been on the show for seven seasons now, with Alex for kinda six of those (they were broken up all of S13, so technically five) and there hasn’t been a pregnancy yet. So everytime anything happens to Jo/Alex now, my mind just goes there. We’ve had jokes and hints about this since S10, but it never happened. And I know one of the loudest pro-voices for this storyline is Camilla herself.

[wow this turned into something... have a cut for easier scrolling]

The good thing is, with the latest development regarding Jo’s mom I feel for the first time a Jolex baby can actually benefit Jo as a character. The baby not just being this sorta goal of the romantic realtionship and building a wholesome family, but exploring all of Jo’s messed up experiences with “family”. Even back in S10 Alex mentioned having kids one day and it was always sort of a given these two would one day have a family of their own. (Because Alex will be an amazing dad and he should be. Ha, imagine that, two people being on the same page of one-day-we-gonna-have-kids from the start, what an unusual idea.)

Still, I am afraid the writers will throw this at us for the finale. While Jo has to fight her way out of depression we will get one of those looking-at-the-stick scenes as an emotional cliffhanger. I really don’t want that right now. So much no to that. I want the depression arc to be as separate from relationship drama as possible. Please. Just this once.

And also, here is the thing I have been tag-vomitting for years. WHY ON EARTH DID ALEX AND JO NEVER EVEN TALK ABOUT FOSTER KIDS? Why did I have to watch Owen suddenly foster a baby, that came with a teenage mom, so Amelia had somebody to care for as well and for a time the four became this patchwork thing? (Don’t get me wrong, the Amelia part of that storyline actually held my interest!)

The show has advocated for adoption and I’m glad about it. But we have these two characters who both spent time in the foster system and agree that it sucked. (For Alex it was a short, but hard time and he ended up in juvie, but also never lost contact with his mom over it. And Jo said fuck that shit with 16 to rather live in a stolen car.) When Owen got Leo he was overwhelmed that he got a baby and not a somewhat older kid, but I think that was for the best. Owen dealing with a kid who already developed trust issues and acted out? Only on his very best days maybe...But that is exactly something I can see Alex and Jo relate to.

So, here is an easy way to milk Jo-and-Alex-becoming-parents for some extra drama for the next two seasons!

In S16 we get a patient, around 12/14 years old or something (child actors, huge problem for longer storylines) I don’t have a preference towards a boy or a girl, so let me use Taylor as an unisex name here (which would fit with Alex and Jo anyway). There is no parent in the mix, just an overworked social worker (a good person, but stretched thin). The kid needs some big surgery. Alex as the peds surgeon is the lead of course, but throw in Avery and Maggie for consults, monitoring, possible complications.

Maybe this even is a pro-bono case or some charity stunt, we get a commentary about appaling healthcare out of this. Yes, good. Because who even thinks about foster kids? And Taylor is not nice to anybody. Because Taylor feels like this is a stunt and who cares about them and how many foster homes has it been since entering at the age of 6. (More social commentary? One parent is dead and the other in jail, Taylor doesn’t even know where, because the prison system is also terrible. Grey’s can check so many boxes at once.)

We have had rude/unruly kids as patients before and it was mostly solved by the end of an end with one stern talking or a good speech. But Taylor is not here for that. And damn, there are insults flying around. But the other doctors are annoyed outside and go all “oh, Taylor has it rough, we can’t be that mad; but I kinda want to slap that kid sometimes, though not really, just... you know”. Alex gets some as well, but he just insults Taylor back, because he’s Alex. Which is also why he sometimes has to hide his smile, because damn, the kid has some good burns.

The residents get ordered to do a test and they don’t want to go in, so two of them play rock-paper-scissors. Jo sees this and is “OMFG!”, dismissed them and does this herself. Taylor makes fun of her, because people in dark blue scrubs don’t do these kind of things, so she must have drawn the short straw or something. And she is just “actually other people did that, I’m here cause I want to”. (Please remember that Jo - when she was allowed to have medical storylines - did advocate for homeless people and even though she can be judgy herself, used to have this very soft side.)

The social worker stops by, it’s a huge concern of how Taylor will be able to follow up during the recovery time. Meds need to be taken for a while etc. Responsible foster parents are needed here. Taylor has missed school, changed schools, is suspected of starting a fire at one of the homes (wasn’t their fault though, but the new troubly kid gets kicked out first)... tough to fit. The doctors are sorry about this, but someone makes another careless comment like “if Taylor could try harder” (in the way Grey’s likes to use one person to say something dumb so others can put things into perspective, happens so often). Alex is the one to go off about it.

Jo and Alex are at home and they trade stories about foster homes. Real ones. And they just look at each other for a moment. Both have a copy of the requirements about fostering already, it’s totally crazy for sure, how could they, but also... well... (the worst part about this that the loft is probably a big obstacle, living with no walls? oh no, saying goodbye to one of the cutest sets for another generic house?!)

There’s already five episodes worth of development! And Taylor moving in with the Karevs isn’t all easy-peasy. Oh no, Taylor needs to test the limits. (Oh, I totally would want one of those cliche moments of vulnerable honesty in the hospital, where Jo is once again doing some minor test and talks to Taylor only to find out about a hobby or special interest. And the next scene she just slips in a book about it or something. No big words about it.)

And here is the best part, because S17 comes with new built-in drama. Because oops, now it does happen, Jo finds out she’s pregnant. They didn’t try, but Alex and Jo are happy. And Taylor is afraid that well, that’s it. Who keeps the foster kid around with a biological baby on the way? Alex and Jo are a bit dense about this, because to them that is not even a question, they finally live on the other side of this thing and would never view Taylor as the consolation prize that loses meaning. Some very heartfelt scenes and then a talk about adoption (that could involve finding the prison-parent who I guess would have to give up the rights in a legal way???? who knows, I don’t because I don’t plan on writing a fanfic that would require research into this..... I’m going by tv-drama 101 here)

And so Taylor becomes a Karev. Alex was born as Alex Evans, but Jimmy was a terrible father so he took his mother’s maiden name. Jo never had the name of someone who loves her until she could share it with Alex. So the tradition should keep going. Karev is a special name, okay?

WHY CAN’T I HAVE THIS ON THE SHOW?

(I could also write about how much I want for Vicki to return, but I guess there’s an actual chance for that. I had a scenario in my head that would involve Alexandra to seek out Jo, and I saw somebody on tumblr is writing that, but in a very different way. lol)

#Grey's Anatomy #Jo Wilson #Jo Karev #Alex Karev #Jolex #there's like the summary for a fanfic in this oops #ramblings

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amelia-blackshepherd · 6 years

Text

Our Name

Apparently today is my 1 year anniversary with Tumblr. And to celebrate I wrote a story. Based on a prompt I received a few days ago. Set after Omelia gets married, Amelia changes her name on her lab coat.

On our honeymoon, which was really just us staying at our new house together having lots and lots of sex, anyway one night after Owen had fallen asleep, I had slipped out of bed and made a phone call. I had to be sneaky about it as I wanted it to be a surprise, we had discussed me taking his name well rather adding his name to mine. I was a successful doctor after all and the name Shepherd carries weight in the medical field, which can be both a pain in the ass and a blessing.

I hadn’t told Owen that I was officially adding his name, he thought I would remain Dr. Shepherd at the hospital, which was fine with him. But, I wanted to surprise him, so I made a call that night to Bailey to get me a new lab coat for my first day back.

After hanging up the phone, I grabbed a glass of water for rehydration in case Owen woke up again. I was just sliding back into my side of the bed when Owen’s gruff, sleepy voice sounded, “Where’d you go?” He cuddles up next to me, placing a few kisses on my shoulder as his arm slips around me and under my shirt.

I turn around, so I can be face to face with him, and wrap my arms around him, tugging gently at his red curls, “Water. Thought I should rehydrate.” I inform him with a happy smile tugging at my lips.

“Good thought.” Is all he says before his lips are back on mine and we are ready to continue our honeymooning.

Our first day back at work we drive in together, after another morning of mind-blowing honeymoon sex. I am so excited for Owen to see the surprise I have for him. When we get to the hospital, we ride the elevator together, he gets off on his floor and I continue up to the neuro floor. Or at least that is what I let him think, I actually get off on the next floor and then go back down to his floor, which is the same floor as the chief’s office.

I sneakily make my way to Bailey’s office, and knock once before letting myself in. I successfully make it there without Owen seeing me.

“Morning Shepherd.” Bailey says in a good mood as she takes a sip from her green health drink.

“Shepherd-Hunt.” I reply with a smile on my face. “And it is a good morning, this whole being married thing is great, makes everything seem better.”

She rolls her eyes at me, “Yeah, come talk to me after a few years when you don’t get any sleep because the baby keeps you awake.” She opens her desk drawer and pulls out my new lab coat, it is still wrapped in plastic when she tosses it to me.

I catch it with ease, of course, because of my quick neuro surgeon hands. “Thanks.” I say referring to the lab coat.

“No problem, Shepherd. And just so I know, you and hunt aren’t already at the baby stage, are you?”

Her question takes me by surprise, but to be fair Owen and I had started talking about marriage and kids and then two weeks later we were walking down the aisle. “No. No little Shepherd-Hunts.” I inform her and then just to tease her a little bit add, “Yet.”

I tried on my new coat and admired the name stamped on it, ‘Amelia Shepherd-Hunt M.D.’ I decide to head to trauma and show Owen my little surprise. I see him barking orders at the interns when I walk in, god I love a man in power, so I head over towards him sticking my chest out to draw attention to the name.

“Hey, Dr. Shepherd, looking fine as always.” Roy flirtatiously says in his usually way. Which only results in a small kind smile from me and Owen telling him to go lance an abscess in bed four.

Owen turns his attention to me, “Did you miss me already? It’s been what 30 minutes.” He teases as he pulls me closer to him.

“Well, that is a new record for us since we got married.” I play along moving closer to him, not caring how unprofessional this looks to anyone watching us.

Owens laughs and nods his head before lowering it so his hot breath dances across my ear. “Well we could fix that.” As tempting as that sounds, both our pagers go off, incoming trauma.

“Save that for later.” I tell him, patting his muscular chest as I head towards the ER doors to take care of our incoming trauma.

Roy runs over to walk with me towards the doors, he hands me a plastic cover and quietly says, “Thought you might want this, wouldn’t want your new lab coat to get covered in blood.” He throws me one of his arrogant smirks before he moves aside so Owen can take his place beside me.

Roy made a good call as our patient within minutes of getting her inside coughed blood all over me. Once it was clear she had no head trauma, I paged another surgeon to tag in and went to clean myself up.

Owen and I skipped lunch, instead we used the time to keep the honeymoon going. Afterwards, I started getting dressed, “What are you doing, Amelia? Stay.” Owen whines which only causes me to laugh at his pathetic attempt at persuading me to stay.

“I’m hungry Owen, let’s go get some food. You can show off your hot wife to everyone.” I say, moving closer to him as I put my lab coat on trying to subtly draw his attention to the name on it.

A smile spreads across Owen’s face, “Oh, I am hungry too, but not for food.” He says pulling me back on top of him.

“Owen, I am serious.”

“So am I. Now take off this lab coat and your clothes and then we can see about getting you some food.” He commands, pushing the lab coat off my shoulders so it falls on the floor. I am going to argue more, but then his lips are sucking on my neck and his hands a lighting a fire across my skin, and I lose all fight left inside me.

It had been a week since I got my new lab coat and so far, Owen was as clueless as an intern. “Hunt still hasn’t noticed the new name?” Alex asks entertained by the frustrated scowl that has been on my face for the duration of our conversation.

“No. And I am running out of ideas of how to get him to notice it.” I sigh. “I’ve tried talking to him, hinting at it, walking so the name is clearly showing, hell, I have even thrown it at him with the name facing him. And he still didn’t notice.” I rattle off some of the ways I had attempted to get Owen to notice it, so much for a romantic gesture.

“Wait, you threw it at him and he still didn’t notice?” Alex’s asks clearly confused how Owen could have missed that.

Meredith chuckles and gives Alex a light elbow and then fills him in, “She was probably taking off her clothes when she did it.”

“Oh. Yeah that might have been why he missed it.” Alex agrees.

“Well do either of you have any ideas?” I ask, slumping back in my chair.

Meredith shrugs her shoulders and steals a fry from Alex’s plate. But Alex offers an idea, “Have you tried wearing nothing expect the lab coat. Then he doesn’t have much else to think about.”

“Except what is underneath.” Meredith points out.

Alex’s nods as he pops a handful of fries into his mouth, “Yeah, well just don’t take it off till he notices.”

I think it over in my head, it might actually work, “Thanks Alex that isn’t a bad idea.”

Alex proudly puffs up his chest and then adds, “Or you could do it somewhere public. That way you know Hunt won’t take it off you right then. Like tomorrow at lunch in the cafeteria.”

Meredith gives him a light slap on his head. And I tell him, “And that is a bad idea.” On that note I get up and leave the table.

Owen is in surgery the rest of the day, which means I don’t have anymore chances to try and get him to notice the new name. I check in with him to see if he will be home for dinner tonight, he said he should be home by seven.

I head home after doing my final rounds, making sure to bring my lab coat home with me instead of leaving it in my locker. Once home, I decided I should cook something and taking Alex’s advise I decided to cook in nothing but my lab coat.

I decide on making us chicken alfredo, as pasta is my second-best dish behind waffles, and spaghetti would be way to messy to cook with my white lab coat. I don’t finish cooking the meal until Owen texts me to say he is on his way home, I didn’t want to make him eat cold food.

I hear the doorknob click as the door opens, revealing a very tired looking Owen. I am just stirring the sauce when he comes into the kitchen and stops short. I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my lips as I look at him, staring at me, eyes wide with his jacket half on half off as he had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me, standing in the chicken cooking, with nothing back my lab coat on.

“Like what you see?” I quip, I already know he does. He still has not regained his speech skills, so he simply nods, his eyes don’t leave me as he runs them up and down my body.

After a minute he finds his voice, “The only thing that could make it better was if we got rid of this lab coat.” He has a wicked grin on his face as he moves towards me, grabbing the hem of the lab coat.

I feel his warm, strong hand on my leg, but I ignore it and take a step back, “Supper is just about ready.”

“It can wait.” He tries again moving closer to me, putting his hand on my lower back and holding me against him, to keep me from moving away this time.

“Later, Dr. Hunt.” I inform him, a little annoyed that yet again he didn’t notice my new name. I mean what else could I do, I literally took everything else away, he had to notice it this time. “I actually worked hard on this.” I say referring to the dinner, but a small part of me meant the display I put on for him, so he would notice the damn name change.

He smiles at me and loosens his grip, so I can move away. I go to the cupboard to grab plates for dinner, but I turn around when he says, “I know you did, Dr. Shepherd-Hunt.” He must have noticed the shocked look on my face as he explained with a hearty laugh, “What? You thought I hadn’t noticed the new lab coat with the new name. My name? Our name? I love it, Amelia.”

I hate him for playing this game with me, but the way he looks at me and the fact that he did notice makes my heart and other parts of my body ache for him. “How long have you known?” I ask.

“Oh, well let’s see.” He says coming closer to me again, “We came back from our honeymoon and you ‘secretly’ went to the chief’s office. And then came prancing into the ER with your new coat that just so happens to have my name on it.” He acts like it was no big deal, but I can see behind his goofy smile how glad he is I took his name.

I shake my head at him, how could he have pretended not to notice this whole time! “So, you knew this whole time? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because, I wanted to wait till I got this, before I told you I knew.” He says pulling a plastic wrapped lab coat out of a bag he had hid when he came in.

“And what exactly is that?” I ask.

In response he opens it up and puts on his new lab coat, he presses down on the name, and when he removes his hand I see written in little blue letters, ‘Owen Shepherd-Hunt M.D.’

I can’t control the smile that spreads across my face, “Did you really?”

“You aren’t the only one who can do romantic gestures.” He teases.

“You are right Dr. Shepherd Hunt, but I am the only one who can do this.” I say as I jump up and wrap my legs around his waist and pull him into a hot passionate kiss.

When we separate he looks over at the food and says, “What about supper?”.

“Screw supper.” I say with defiance in my tone.

“I’d rather screw you.” He says as he sets me down and slams my back into the kitchen cupboard, instantly ours mouths are back together.

#omelia fanfic #omelia fanfiction #owen and amelia #amelia shepherd #owen hunt #shepherd hunt

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whiskynottea · 6 years

Text

The Ripple Effect

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

AO3

Previously (Chapter 7)

“You left me behind without any explanation! Do ye ken how it is to live as half a man? To have the ghost of your happiness following you everywhere, a constant reminder of your smashed dreams?”

“Do I know? Do I know?” I repeated, unable to think of anything else. “OF COURSE I DO! IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME, TOO.”

Jamie opened his mouth ready to reply, but pressed his lips instead and took a step back. Squaring his shoulders, he asked me in a cracked voice, “Why are ye back?”

Letting a breath out, I replied. “I needed to explain.”

“Then do.” He said, his voice cold and removed, insulating himself from what would follow.

“I left to protect you. You and me both.”

Chapter 8. The Explanation

source

If Jamie ever looked like a highland cow, it was at that moment. His hair had dried, falling on his forehead and almost covering his eyes as he moved towards me. His gaze underneath the red locks was angry, wild, and lost, all at the same time.

“Wha, Wha, What?” Jamie blurted out, stopping himself at the last moment as he walked towards me. He was two steps away, hands clenched in fists. “What are ye saying, Claire?”

“I am saying,” I swallowed back the fear and continued, “That I left because I had to, not because I wanted to leave you. You… You should know I would never leave you,” I finished in a trembling voice, pushing the heels of my hands against my eyes to shed away the awful memories.

“Ye had to leave, ye said, to protect me,” Jamie repeated as if in a trance. “Are ye mad woman? Protect me from what? From being too happy?” He grimaced in pain, a hand running through his head.

“Jamie. It’s a long story. Can you please at least sit down?” I wanted him to be as calm as possible, so I could maybe – maybe – eventually get myself together.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers impatiently drumming on his thigh, waiting for me to start explaining.

It was impossible for me to sit. I started pacing back and forth, trying to figure out how to begin.

Four steps from the armchair to the kitchen table, four steps back. A deep breath. Four steps forth. Four steps –

“Will ye talk, woman? Or do ye plan to walk a marathon here in front of me, just for the pleasure of torturing me?” Jamie growled.

I stilled myself with great difficulty and watched him in the eye.

“I came in Scotland five years ago.”

Good. Start from the beginning.

“God, ye’ll tell me the story of yer life now? I ken that!” He said impatiently. Actually, the word impatience was too small to describe Jamie Fraser at that moment.

“Will you let me talk, you bloody Scot?”

He laughed at that, my favorite swear bringing back memories of good times. “Aye, talk, Sassenach.”

Jamie gave me the gift back, and I acknowledged that. Sassenach. One word and I found the strength to go on. “When we first met, I told you I had left London because I needed a change. Do you remember?”

He nodded, whispering a “Yes”. His eyes had lost their anger and he looked at me solemnly, his furrowed eyebrows making his effort to understand obvious.

“This was what they advised me to say, Jamie.” I closed my eyes, listening to the wild beating of my heart.

Make him forgive me. Make him understand.

“I wanted to tell you the truth. I’m not good at lying, you know that.”

“But you managed to lie, just fine,” he interrupted me, his voice venomous, poisoning my heart.

“Jamie… When I first met you, I didn’t know you well enough to trust you and… when I got to know you I couldn’t find it in me to tell you.”

I took a deep breath before speaking again. Jamie remained silent, although I could imagine that he was burning inside, listening to me say I didn’t want to share everything with him. Even if this ‘everything’ I kept from him was only pain and anguish. I could hear his racing thoughts, and I couldn’t stand it. I opened my mouth blurting out everything, as fast as I could. I had to make him understand.

“I was afraid, I was so afraid Jamie, I didn’t know if it was over, he’s crazy you know, a maniac really, and then they told me not to tell anyone, I didn’t want to make you a target, so the less you knew the better, I shouldn’t leave traces behind and I was sure this was for our own good, to protect you and then time passed and I kind of forgot it, not really forgot it but I moved on and – ”

“Claire!” He stopped me. “I canna understand a word ye’re saying. Who is crazy, why were you afraid, who told ye not to talk to me.” He rose from the bed and came to me, each step bringing him closer and calming him down. When he stood in front of me, he placed both hands tenderly on my arms. “What happened to ye, a nighean?’”

“I… I… I left London because…” I could hardly speak, each word grazing painfully my sore throat.

“Yes?” Jamie asked in a soothing voice and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

No, don’t bloody cry now.

“I had a patient. A nice, kind guy, so young – so bloody young. He had lung cancer. The CT scan and PET showed that we could move to a surgery. We had time, cancer hadn’t spread yet.” I knew he didn’t need to know all these details, but I was transferred back at the hospital, seeing the light in Alex’s eyes again, as I announced that the tumor was amenable to surgery and we would get to it as soon as possible.

“I did the surgery. I couldn’t go for a full lobectomy, so I aimed to a wedge resection. Recurrence is more frequent after wedge resection. We decided to follow the surgery up with radioactive iodine brachytherapy. We did well, the results were great, he was getting better. He really did.” I could almost see Alex’s smile again in the thought that he’d leave the hospital and he’d have a normal life again. A future that never came to happen.

“Until we found another carcinoma. We did the DNA tests, he had a mutation in a proto-oncogene – one we didn’t have any available drug to treat with. Dr. Alexander MacGregor, the medical oncologist – ” My voice broke and I felt one of Jamie’s hands trailing up to my face, to erase the tears that were now running free. “Oh, Jamie. MacGregor did his best, we all did our best, but we couldn’t save him.” Sobs were wraking my body and Jamie hugged me tight, his lips lost in my hair whispering soothing words in Gaelic. “Alexander Randall was the first patient I lost,” I said, and saw Jamie through the tears in my eyes.

“So ye came here, trying to forget about him?” His voice was soft and kind. Supporting me.

I shook my head. “No. There’s more than that. You see, Alex Randall had an older brother.”

The mere thought of this man made me want to run away again. I didn’t want to talk about him. I didn’t want to remember, or to think of him ever again. But he was there, in every nightmare, in every shadow I saw.

“Jonathan Randall, Black Jack is what everyone called him. He is…” I felt the bile moving up my throat and paused, my lips tightly pressed, taking deep breaths through my nose.

I was with Jamie. I was safe now.

He wasn’t safe though, because I had bloody come back.

“Oh God, this is such a terrible mistake. I should shut the fuck up and stay in France. I shouldn’t come back.”

“IN FRANCE? Ye were in France?” Jamie exclaimed, but stopped in his tracks when his eyes saw the darkness in my eyes. “Anyway. Ye’re wrong. Ye should be here with me and ye did right to come, mo chridhe.”

Oh, how I’ve missed these two little words leaving his lips, coloring the world around me.

“No, no Jamie. You don’t understand. Black Jack, Alex’s brother, is mentally unstable, and a gangster nonetheless. When Alex died, he blamed us for his death. He insisted this was our mistake, that we lied about the surgery and the radiotherapy, that we could have saved him if we wanted to. But we couldn’t, Jamie. We couldn’t.”

“I know, mo ghraidh. I know. Ye did yer best, dinna think of it any longer.” Jamie was drawing circles with his fingers on my back, his words strong, reassuring. He believed me.

“Black Jack threatened us repeatedly, after that. We found notes in our mail, phone calls counting down our living days, I even found a knife on a print with the anatomy of the heart once, in my locker at the hospital. ‘Picture your heart instead’, it read. I don’t know how he managed to do that. MacGregor had the same problems, only he had a family and the threats were aiming his family as well. We reported the incidents and sued Randall for harassment and emotional distress. A few months later all threats stopped, and we were informed that he was imprisoned for life, for severe child abuse. Totally irrelevant with our case, but we were safe.”

“So? Why did you leave?” Jamie asked, restless.

“Six months ago, Black Jack was paroled, somehow. He has high connections or something, Alex had mentioned that when he was in the hospital. He admired his older brother so much. I don’t know how Black Jack managed to be paroled, but he is free again and he, he…”

I felt my heart crumble and my knees went weak. Jamie supported my weight, moving me to the armchair with a strong arm around my waist and knelt down in front of me. He brought his glass of whisky on my lips, and I felt the amber drink’s warmth travel down my throat, setting a comforting feeling in my stomach. It lasted a moment and then it was gone, leaving me even more wrecked than before.

“What, Claire? He what?” Jamie asked, taking the glass from my hands before I’d drop it.

“MacGregor is dead,” I whispered, with my eyes shut, as if opening them would acknowledge the truth of my words.

I felt the cold seeping in my body as Jamie’s hands left me. “WHAT?” He roared. “ARE YE FUCKING CRAZY, CLAIRE?” He was pacing back and forth, both hands covering his face in despair.

Yeah, I shouldn’t have come. Now he’s mad. Maybe it was better when he didn’t know.

I was ready to talk when he looked at me again, his eyes filled with anger and fear. “He is free, he killed yer colleague and ye fucking left?” He ran his hands through his hair so many times, that it looked like a red flame surrounding his face. “Ye were out there, all alone, with this maniac on your tracks? AND YE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO ME? What if he’d found you, Claire? Oh my God, Oh my God…” He was shaking his head in denial, his hands trembling, extended in the empty air between us.

“I couldn’t stay here, he would eventually find out about you. Paris seemed a safe choice. It would be perfect, actually, if being without you wasn’t so bloody painful.” I snorted and gave him a sad smile. “But I had to protect you from him. He is MY problem. And that’s why I’ll leave again,” I said, determined. “I just wanted you to know. I wanted you to know I love you,” I finished, trying to find the courage to leave his apartment.

“DID I ASK FOR YER PROTECTION?” Jamie’s voice rang through me, hoarse from shouting. “God, Claire, did I ever tell ye that your problems arena mine as well? Did I ever tell ye that ye dinna mean the world to me? Only thinking that ye might as well be dead now… That ye were in danger and I was sitting here, in my misery, blaming ye for leaving, thinking ye might love someone else… And ye with your stupid notions thinking that ye protect me by being away. What about me, Sassenach?” He came close to me again, breathing hard, trying to tame his fury. He placed a hand on my cheek and said in a surprising low, broken voice, “What if I wanted to protect you?”

“You couldn’t. You can’t, Jamie. I won’t have your life hanging from a fine line. I’m leaving again.”

“Ye’re not going anywhere,” he hissed through gnashed teeth. When I didn’t reply, he spoke more forcefully. “D’ ye hear me? Ye’re staying here with me.”

“I can’t,” I insisted.

“Do ye still not understand? Ye belong with me, Sassenach, as I belong with ye. No maniac, crazy, psycho will ever change that. We’ll fight him, but we’ll do it together.”

I laughed at that. A bitter, sorrowful laughter. “We can’t. No one can fight him. He’s looking for revenge and his revenge has my face now. I won’t sacrifice your life for no reason.”

“He can take his thirst for revenge and stick it up his butt,” Jamie declared triumphantly, making me laugh again. A real laughter this time, one only he knew how to elicit in my darkest moments. “My life has your face, Claire. And I’m not leaving anyone’s revenge to take it away.”

His voice was low and he leaned forward until his lips found mine, claiming me back from fear and despair. Forcefully stating that I was his and his only.

I let myself be, forgetting everything as he enveloped me in a bear hug – safe, and whole, and loved.

After what felt like minutes but could be hours later, I spoke again. “Jamie, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, love.” My lips were on his again, the moment I saw that lopsided smile on his face, the one I had fall in love with years ago. The one I was still in love with.

“Aye, I ken that now, Sassenach.” He trailed a finger along my jaw, before it got lost in my hair. “I canna forgive ye though, for putting yerself in danger while leaving me behind, an ignorant fool.”

“You’re not a fool. You never were.”

“Claire,” he said. “Promise me something. No more secrets from now on.”

“Jamie...” I looked him straight in the eye, knowing that I had to rip my heart out and do it like it was a happy dance. “There is no ‘from now on’ for us.” My throat was dry. “I can’t stay,” I said in a strained voice.

“D’ ye think that I will let ye go again?”

I didn’t get to reply, feeling his tongue on my lips again, his need to feel me overwhelming me.

“This has nothing to do with what we think or want, Jamie. This is what we need to do to survive,” I said, once I found my breath again.

“I dinna want to survive without ye. I want to live with ye.” His voice was loud and strong, filling the room.

“That’s why I left last time, without telling anything to you. Because you, you stubborn Scot, you wouldn’t let me go if you knew.”

“That’s quite right,” Jamie said, his arms tightening around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

“No, it’s – ” The words were trapped inside my mouth, mingling with his breath as he stopped me with yet another kiss, his own way to say shut up. My mind was screaming at me to leave now, while I still could, but my stupid body responded to his as it always did, eager to be one again.

“I need ye. I need to have ye now, Claire.”

I shook my head frantically, knowing that there would be no return after this.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Jamie whispered after each negative shake of mine.

“We shouldn’t – ” I tried to voice my thoughts instead of the ineffective non-verbal negation.

“Shut up,” Jamie mimicked me, his thoughts loud enough to make me laugh.

The next moment I was up in the air and on Jamie’s shoulder, as he carried me to bed.

He got rid of our clothes in mere seconds, leaving me sprawled on the bed, with the cold duvet underneath my naked body and his warmth-emanating frame on top of me. Without wasting more time, he got himself deep inside me with a single thrust, anchoring me to him. His teeth were on my neck, sucking hard, taking toll for all the months of absence, as his soul was whispering to mine, until the only sounds leaving our mouths were whimpers, moans and whispers of each other’s name.

“This is how you protect me, mo ghraidh.” he whispered, thrusting again and again. “Take me inside you and save my soul, as you always did.”

I heard myself calling out his name, as my muscles contracted against his hard length, feeling his release leaving me alive again.

Alive and fearless.

Chapter 9

#The Ripple Effect #modern AU #jamie x claire #outlander fanfic #this is why Claire left #no one still blaming her I hope #outlander fanfiction

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doc-pickles · 4 years

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let me take your hand, i’ll make it right (swear to love you all my life)

What if I just.... dropped my Jolex fanfic here 👀 I wrote a fix it fic after 16x16 and this is it. Also posted to AO3 but there's not enough fic content on this hellhole of a website.

Also if you wanted to.... send me Jolex prompts.... I wouldn't hate that.....

Jo had thought that during her long nights and endless shifts as an intern that she had learned the meaning of the word tired. Naively, she had assumed that the 36 hours on call and the 7-hour surgeries were the worst her body could give her. But now that she was an attending, and a pregnant one at that, Jo could honestly say that she had never been so tired.

The tunnels seemed to be her only source of relief lately, a quiet area of the hospital where she could sleep soundly while on call. Even if her back was aching and she had to spend 30 minutes getting comfortable, the tunnels offered Jo the best chance at sleep she could muster.

While her loft was only a 15 minutes drive from Grey Sloan and perfect for on call nights, Jo couldn’t bring herself to stay there for long periods of time. Everything reminded her of Alex. The couch they had picked out together, the bookshelf he had built, the dresser still full of his clothes. Jo may not be comfortable sleeping at the hospital, but it gave her peace of mind, something she needed greatly at almost eight months pregnant.

It was almost 5 AM when she got her first page of the day. Jo had been able to sleep for a full uninterrupted four hours, longer than usual for an overnight shift. She only had an hour left of her shift, something she was thankful for since it would be her day off after that. Her body was aching and she knew she would have to go back to the loft to shower properly and rest in a bed that wasn’t a gurney. Her pager directed her to the East Wing, so off she went.

The halls were still quiet, Jo’s slow and heavy footsteps echoing as she went on her way. The first few hours of the morning were some of her favorites, the quiet that lay over the hospital comforting in more than one way. During the day, the hustle and bustle of surgeons and patients could become overwhelming. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to hear herself think as she walked the halls.

As she rounded the corner and came up on the East Wing, Jo saw Meredith standing in front of one of the conference rooms on the floor. The blinds were drawn so she couldn’t see in, but it seemed like Meredith was guarding whatever was inside.

“Hey,” Jo breathed out, stopping in front of Meredith. Her right hand came up to her stomach, pushing down the foot that tried to kick up at her. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were off today.”

“Yeah well, something came up,” Meredith shrugged, her hands fidgeting in front of her. She seemed nervous, something that Jo rarely saw from her. “I need to show you something. Or tell you something. Either way it’s important.”

Jo nodded at her, but furrowed her brow. She was becoming more and more confused as Meredith spoke. Sure, the older woman could be cryptic and sometimes a little vague, but her expression and tone of voice were starting to freak Jo out.

“Jo, I need you to keep an open mind, just listen without acting,” Meredith’s voice was calm as she backed up towards the conference room door. “Just… go in here and I promise everything will be explained, okay?”

“What’s going on? Can’t you just tell me,” Jo’s crosses her arms impatiently as she stared at Meredith. “You guys already threw me a surprise baby shower and it’s 5 AM so now I’m getting worried.”

“Just go in, please. Trust me on this one,” Meredith placed her hand on Jo’s shoulder as she opened the door.

The room was fairly dark with the lights dimmed and the blinds drawn. But the figure across the large table was easily identifiable to Jo. Her stomach clenched uneasily as she stared at the man sitting in front of her. He looked tired and sad, worse for wear but still the man she knew.

“Alex,” Jo’s voice was low, barely a whisper. She gripped the chair in front of her to keep herself standing and not in a puddle on the ground. “What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Kansas?”

“I was never in Kansas,” the sound of his voice after months of silence makes Jo’s heart swell. A swift kick to her side told her that her baby was listening in too, eager to hear her father's voice. As angry as she is at him, she still loved Alex. “Jo, please you gotta listen to me. I didn’t wanna leave I swear.”

The anger and sadness that Jo had felt for the past seven months finally overflowed. How dare Alex walk in here and try to make everything okay again! Jo had been on her own, going through a rough pregnancy and the aftermath of a divorce by herself. And if that wasn’t enough, she was working in the world’s largest gossip hub while Alex was in the middle of nowhere with his estranged ex wife.

“You did leave though Alex! You left me and you wrote me a freaking letter,” Jo’s voice was loud and emotional, the tears streaming down her face not helping her to stay composed. “You left me and I can’t even go home without thinking of you so I sleep here. I spent the first two months after you left throwing up between patients begging God or anyone to bring you back to me. I’ve cried myself to sleep for seven months and gone to every appointment on my own and done it all by myself. So no, you do not get to walk back in like everything is fine!”

Alex stared at Jo, his eyes taking her in all over again. She was glowing, even in her anger she had a distinct pregnancy glow about her. Meredith had told him about his impending fatherhood on the drive over, just to make sure he didn’t flip out the first moment he saw Jo again. He knew she was angry and upset with him, she had every right to be mad. But right then, Alex wanted nothing more than to hold Jo in his arms and feel their child kicking. He knew he had more explaining he needed to do before Jo would let him do that.

“Jo,” Alex looked into her watery eyes. “Please give me two minutes to explain. It’s not what you think and I promise I have a good reason.”

“There’s not any excuse I would listen to from you, Alex,” the words barely slipped out of Jo’s mouth before she doubled over, a gasp of pain escaping her as one hand pressed against her stomach. “Oh Jesus, that hurts.”

Alex was up before she could say anything to stop him, rounding the table and standing next to Jo. Her grip on the chair was turning her knuckles white and the tears tracking down her face were from a physical pain now. Alex reached a hand out to help her, but she gave him a look that was dripping with venom and anger.

“Lemme look at you, Jo,” Alex’s voice was calm and quiet as Jo breathed out loudly, ready to fight him on it. “Just let me look at you as a doctor, okay? I just wanna make sure the baby is alright, please?”

Jo finally nodded, her body gladly falling into the chair Alex had pulled out. She was still leaning over, small whimpers coming out of her as she tried to stop her child’s erratic movements. Alex moved his hands quickly to Jo’s stomach, pressing against it as he looked up at her. He figured now would be a good time as any to explain everything to her.

“I was at Pac North and I was running downstairs to get supplies for the OR. I walked into the basement and found one of my surgeons being held at gunpoint and operating on a GSW victim,” Alex moved his eyes from Jo’s face back to her stomach. A strong kick met his right hand and Alex realized it was his child was trying to say hello to him. “It was a whole gun smuggling operation, one of my doctors and I happened to stumble upon it. Anyways, they started threatening me and the other guy, the police got involved, and they made me go into hiding until the trial. I had a huge target on my head, Jo, these people were gonna kill me because I saw an illegal surgery.

“So they put me into WITSEC but someone wouldn’t stop calling or texting, so I had to write you that letter. I had to find something that was so ridiculous that you would stop trying to find me,” Alex moved one hand up to Jo’s face, his thumb brushing off the tears from her cheek. She was crying in earnest now and Alex couldn’t tell if it was from him or the baby. “I’m so sorry I left you Jo, but I couldn’t risk you getting hurt because of what happened. I know you don’t agree with me, but I was trying to protect you. And now I’m really glad I didn’t take you with me, I would’ve died if something happened to you or this baby.”

“So you really didn’t want to leave me,” Jo sniffled, a small laugh slipping out. “I almost drove to freaking Kansas to beat you up and bring you back. God I can’t believe any of this.”

“Baby’s fine by the way, you’re not contracting so I think they were just mad at the volume change,” Alex pressed his hand back to Jo’s stomach, another kick greeting him. “I’m sorry I missed all of this, I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m never going to stop apologizing for what I put you through. You know I would’ve been here if I could.”

Jo began crying again at Alex’s words, her arms reaching out to hug him close to her. The anger and the sadness she had clung to for the past few months vanished as she held onto Alex. None of it mattered anymore because he was here and he wasn’t dead and he would be able to meet their baby and they’d raise her together.

“Can we go home now? I really wanna sleep in our bed,” Jo sniffled as she looked up at Alex. She wanted nothing more now than to go back to the loft and curl up with him. “And your daughter is craving a cheeseburger at 5 AM.”

“Should’ve known she was a girl when she kicked me that hard,” Alex leaned down and pressed his forehead to Jo’s. “I’m sorry about all of this, are we okay?”

Jo nodded and pulled Alex down towards her, their lips colliding in a kiss that neither realized they had missed so much.

“So,” Jo pulled away from Alex and ran her fingers through his hair. It had grown longer since she’d last seen him. “Do you think that the third time's the charm works for marriages too?”

#jo wilson #alex karev #jo karev #jolex #jolex fic #jolex fanfic #jo x alex #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #post 16 x 16 #fix it fic #jo deserves better #fuck krista #greys #greys abc #greysanatomy #jolex fanfiction #alex x jo #nina writes

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companionjones · 6 years

Text

Some Blood And Some Doctors

Fandoms: Supernatural and Grey’s Anatomy

Pairing: Brother!Dean x Sibling!Kid!Reader x Brother!Sam

Warnings: Cursing, References to Child Abuse, Crossover with Grey’s Anatomy

*****

It was a simple ghost hunt. A simple ghost hunt that ended in an explosion.

As the seating arrangement always was with you guys, Sam and Dean were up front and you were in the back. They were arguing over music.

“Dean, we’re always listening to classic rock. I’m just saying, we could use a change everyone in a while!”

Your oldest brother rolled his eyes. “And I’m saying the driver picks the music, and the shotgun--”

“The shotgun shuts his cake-hole,” Sam finished mockingly. “Oh my God. Y/n, what do you thi--” He turned back to look at you, “Y/n? Y/n, what the hell?!”

Dean glanced back, too. “Son of a bitch,” he gasped, suddenly terrified.

Sam climbed over the seats to get to you once he realized you were bleeding from the stomach. Glass had hit you in the explosion. You hadn’t noticed because of the adrenaline.

“What are we going to do Dean?” Sam was scared.

Dean was dead focused on the road. “We’ll get them to a hospital. It’ll be fine, Sammy...It’ll be fine.” He whispered the last part to himself.

Within twenty minutes, the three of you were bursting through hospital doors. You were in Sam’s arms.

“We need some help over here!” Dean yelled, on the brink of panic.

The doctors took you away, and your brothers weren’t allowed to come with you. You had lost consciousness a while before.

Two hours passed, and the boys hadn’t heard anything from your doctors.

“Dammit Dean. What are we going to do this time?”

The eldest Winchester didn’t respond.

“I mean, did you see their stomach? What are we going to do if they--” Sam was clearly in shock.

Dean interrupted him, “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever that. I will break your nose if you ever say something like that again.”

Sam put his head in his hands.

“Excuse me? Are you Dean and Sam Winchester?” A doctor in bloodied scrubs approached the men.

The boys jumped up. They replied at the same time.

“Yes,” Dean croaked.

Sam uttered, “Yeah, that’s us.”

“My name is Dr. Meredith Grey,” the young woman introduced, “I assisted on Y/n’s surgery. They are going to be fine.”

Relief flew through the boys.

Dr. Grey continued, “We got all the glass out, but the area is going to be sore for the next few weeks.”

Sam and Dean nodded.

“Y/n has stitches across her stomach, and they are going to have to be careful as they’re healing.”

Sam spoke first, “Thank you.”

“When can we see them?” Dean questioned gruffly.

The middle sibling began to scold his brother, “Dean--”

“No, it’s fine,” Meredith smiled, “They’re in Room 221.”

Dean was off already. “Thanks.”

“Sorry about him,” Sam stayed behind to apologize. “Thank you, really. We thought Y/n was gone for real this time.”

The doctor’s eyebrows furrowed. “ ‘This time’?”

“Oh...uh...” Sam blanched. “Anyway, I should go check on them. Thanks again.” He left the confused Grey behind.

You woke up feeling like you got hit by a bus. From what you remembered, you’d be in about the same amount of pain if you were hit by a bus. You found your brothers weren’t in the hospital room with you. In their place was a male doctor.

“Hey. I’m Alex. I helped on your surgery.”

With your throat dry, you rasped out a “Hello” back.

Alex gave you a drink of water. “So, I heard you came in with your older brothers.”

You nodded.

“Your history says that this isn’t the first time you’ve been in a hospital. You want to tell me about those other times?”

Sighing, you tried to figure out what to say. You knew Alex wasn’t trying to sound as official as he was, but you still predicted what he was attempting to get at. “Believe me,” you almost laughed, “it’s not like that.”

“Like what, Y/n?” Alex asked, still trying to get the conversation to go somewhere.

You rolled your eyes. “Listen Doctor--” you read his name tag “--Karev. There’s no way that your going to buy this in any sense. I know I’m just a kid--,”

“You’re not just a kid--”

“--but I’m just going to tell you how I really got here.”

Sam and Dean arrived about five minutes later.

“Oh, hey guys.” You had just finished your explanation to Dr. Karev. You greeted the boys, then turned back to the doctor. “So, Alex. I’m good to go, right?”

The man nodded profusely. Alex was as white as a sheet. He excused himself.

“And Alex?” You called out nonchalantly before the doctor left the room. “Don’t tell anyone what I just told you.”

Again, he nodded as if his life depended on it. Alex glanced wildly between you and your brothers, then he turned and and exited.

“What was that all about?” Dean asked.

Chuckling, and happy to see your brothers again, you answered only a little weakly, “That doctor is going to cover for us. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

*****

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! If you would like to read more, I have more fics on Supernatural over on my page, along with fics on other fandoms. You should go check it out. Also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN. I take requests for one-shots, multi-chapter fics, headcannons, and preferences. No smut, please. I write for a variety of fandoms, and if you’re wondering if I write for a specific fandom, please ask me. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you. <3

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evelynmlewis · 2 years

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Kingdom of Heaven Chapter 29

I was originally going to cut this chapter in two but there was no sensible place to cut it.

Comes after this.

After another day or so on Settlement rations, synthesized with special reparative nutrients, I was feeling a little more awake. It still hurt too much for me to sit up. I could speak more easily than before, but it still hurt. Despite whatever they were piping into my arm, I was never totally comfortable, with a dull pain always in the background. The nurses didn’t really speak to me, they were just doing their job.

On this second day of my hospital confinement, I had another visitor.

This one really chilled my bones when I saw her in the doorway. It was the statuesque, angular form of Dana Morris-Fletcher.

“So,” she said, her shoes clicking across the tile. “Your little game is over. We’ve got the real story now.”

I tried to keep the fear out of my eyes. I wished I could sit up to greet her, but just tensing caused me pain. I was suddenly terrified that some recording system had overheard Cam in his moment of vulnerability. “What do you mean?” I tried.

I could see the loathing in her eyes. “I wasn’t buying your innocence in the little ‘brainwashing’ matter as easily as your friend Cam. We asked around. Found out from his men what really happened back there at the little cult town. Everybody says the same thing. You put a gun on him, and tried to force a retreat. There are witnesses Alex; you’re a traitor.” Her lips creased into a tiny v-shape.

So, the game really was over. For me, anyway. That resolved so many questions about my future that for a moment it was almost a relief.

But only for a moment. Fear rose in me again. Hopefully they had decided to make it quick.

“Good news for you,” she said, back to her stony demeanor. “We’ve decided to keep you alive. Next time you see your friend Cam, you’d better thank him. He vouched for you; he says the brainwashing is not permanent, that he can undo it and keep you in line. Make you a good citizen again. He swore it up and down. So, in the eyes of the law, you’re now considered mentally disabled. It is not yet clear whether or not your condition is permanent. He’s your legal guardian now.” Her eyes were smug, half-lidded. “Don’t disappoint him.”

Cam was my legal guardian. That was a lot to take in. Well, it could be worse.

She must have noticed my glance traveling to my wrist, because she added, “We’ll get you a new one of those as soon as you’re well enough for another surgery. You’ll need it to go back to work. After all, even drooling idiots must earn their keep. I heard there’s an opening at one of your old jobs.”

“Educator?” I asked with a glimmer of hope that there might still be something worth doing even here.

She smiled coldly. “Not a chance in hell. You’re going back to the food labs. And that’s the best case scenario.”

I couldn’t bear the idea of being sent back to my old life. It was so alien now; my ambitions from before were dead. I had seen the trees. I had been outside the Settlement. It would be impossible to live this way.

I looked her in the eye, finding I was no longer afraid to do so. “You never were going to let us leave,” I said. “Were you.”

“Never,” said Dana. She knew exactly what I was referring to. “It was the plan,” she admitted. “Once. A long time ago. But it hasn’t been for centuries. Humanity will never change. That’s why we wall off areas of the Settlement and create incentives to shrink our own numbers.”

“Why?” I asked. “What is your end goal?”

She actually hesitated. “We don’t talk about the end goal. Not even amongst ourselves, usually.”

But I was determined. I had her in front of me, talking, I had little to lose, and I wanted to know the reason for it all. “Why not?” I tried again.

“It was decided by our predecessors, and we carry it out, but it is too hard a burden to bear. The public would not accept it.”

“You can tell me,” I said. “You have me in your hand and you know it. What am I going to do? Make a post on the Profile?”

She considered me for a moment with a side-eye. “This Settlement will continue to shrink. In one hundred years from now, we will be one half our current size. In a thousand years from now, there will be less than fifty thousand people living on Earth.”

“And then?”

“Eventually mankind must face extinction.” But she wouldn’t look at me while saying this.

“And you tell them it’s for survival. The greater good.”

“It is for the greater good,” she said. “How cruel it is that we are the one creature Gaia has evolved which is capable of reflecting on its own suffering! It is immoral to reproduce, because increasing the number of humans born only increases the amount of suffering in this world.”

“And the amount of joy,” I said. “And the amount of love.”

“For Earth’s sake!” Her eyes flashed. It was a rare moment of actual emotion, and the emotion was anger that was no less intense for the control she held over it. “Look around you, Alex! The immense scope of human suffering surely outweighs any pleasure that we might experience.”

“Try looking outside the Settlement,” I said recklessly.

“And defile the only goodness that exists by corrupting it with our own misery?”

I plunged on. “I’ve seen suffering and tragedy out there,” I said, “and I still find it preferable to the best you have to offer me in here.”

Her face whitened, she spoke through her teeth. “I wouldn’t say such things if I were in your position.” She lifted her thumb and forefinger to the clear line of my IV and pinched it determinedly.

Although this had no immediate effect, I understood the implication and eyed her hand nervously.

“We Administrators,” she said, “hold to a strict philosophy that pleasure and suffering must be weighed against each other in every decision. It is always better to minimize suffering and maximize pleasure. However, we must think long term rather than short term. Collectively, rather than individually. Just as the prevention of birth prevents net suffering, some evils are necessary to prevent damage to the Settlement and to Gaia.”

I’d been a fool to ever think the citizens of the Kingdom would be willing to give up their freedom and way of life even under duress. Their religion was forbidden by the Settlement, and it was clear that they viewed it as more sacred than life. How could the Administrators possibly understand that, when they believed that life, and a comfortable life at that, was all that anyone could ever hope to have?

“Normally,” said the Administrator, “our philosophy would require euthanizing you in a situation like this.” She stroked her chin thoughtfully. “But I think in this case, the Settlement may be better served by letting you live.”

“My punishment is… life?” I was very confused.

“Think about it this way,” she said. She released the IV line and paced slowly and aimlessly around to my right side, lightly brushing her palms off. “Quiet disappearances don’t attract much attention. It’s designed that way. But sometimes you have to make an example for the public. In your case, it’ll serve a double purpose. Cam will have a demotion; I’ll vote for it at the next meeting. But I really think it would go a lot further if you weren’t even recognizable by the time you were released. Did you know he got down on his knees and begged us to let you live?” Her lip curled in a mild flicker of disgust.

“It would certainly be very poetic if we were to grant his request in such a way that he’ll look at you every day for the rest of his life and wish that he hadn’t. We wouldn’t even have to look bad by denying his plea for the girl who saved his life. It could be passed off as medical complications. It would be your divine comeuppance. Reduced to something so pitiable and helpless you’re barely even human. He’ll have to feed you through a straw.”

“That is,” she added, “If you don’t comply with our investigation. I’ll make you think you’re in the cultists’ hell.”

She turned around to leave the room, with a quick glance back over her shoulder. “Just think about it.”

#kindgomofheaven #my writing #wip #dystopia

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lizwontcry · 6 years

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Hi. I just wanted to share something I started writing this summer and then ran out of steam to finish. I watched 13 seasons of Greys twice in a row; for about 4 or 5 months it was literally the only thing I watched. I enjoyed the usual shippyness--Cristina and Owen, Meredith and Derek, etc., but the OTP I walked away with was Alex and Meredith. So here is a thing I wrote. It has a beginning and an end but not exactly a middle. Rock on.

Somewhere between the newly instituted Waffle Sundays and living together and working together and barely breathing in the same air without each other, things change. It is, after all, practically inevitable.

The change doesn’t happen all at once, or even in an obvious way. It's just, every now and then, Meredith will look up from helping Ellis cut her waffle into little pieces and Alex is braiding Zola's hair and telling her a story about the little boy who refused to let go of the Storm Trooper action figure Alex gave him while he recovered from his appendix surgery. Zola is laughing and looking at Alex adoringly, probably the same way Meredith is gazing at him if she were to see herself in the mirror at that moment.

As for Alex, he also tried to deny it for a long time. But there comes a time in everyone’s life when they must admit that their feelings are not just about the friendship they've carefully constructed over the years. There was one night in particular where Meredith came home completely exhausted but supremely satisfied. She had completed a long, difficult procedure that was not expected to go well, but as usual, she rocked it. Meredith had this look in her eyes like she could do anything, and Alex realized he kind of loved that about her. Her confidence; her readiness to take on the world. He digs it.

Most of the time they stick to their own respective bedrooms, but when they do fall asleep together, Alex is mostly amused by her snoring--he can't help it; she's adorable. And sometimes, Meredith wakes up and studies Alex's profile, and she can't shake the thought that there's an attractive--okay, hot--man in her bed. Or that she's in a hot man's bed. She tries to ignore the always-gnawing guilt—Derek’s gone. She’s not cheating on him. Plus, he’d want her to be with someone who always had her back—right? He liked Alex well enough. Her rationalizations got out of hand from time to time.

Of course, the sun rises and they wake up way too early for most normal humans and take on the day and the night has been forgotten. But every now and then, it's not forgotten. And they both remember.

_____________

Meredith is knitting. She's not knitting well, or even paying particularly close attention to what she's doing, but she's knitting. She tries to recall what Izzie taught her about it back when they did stuff like that together. Why is she knitting? That's actually a good question.

The front door opens, and a spectacularly tired Alex drags himself inside the house. He nods at Meredith, and puts his bag and keys on the kitchen table, although Meredith always tells him how she'd rather he place his belongings anywhere other than that location.

"What's with you? You look like you're about to pass out."

Alex falls down on the couch next to Meredith. "Long day. Totally routine inguinal hernia repair, with too many complications. Almost lost a 7-year-old girl. But she pulled through."

Meredith nods, and Alex snorts. "What are you, 80? It's a Friday night and you're knitting, Mer. What the hell?"

"Yes, I am knitting. Maggie took the kids to play miniature golf, and Amelia was supposed to come over to watch Rosemary's Baby with me, but Owen's mom is having a little dinner party for Megan, so... that's where everyone is. And I am here. Knitting."

Alex not-so-gently takes all the knitting out of Meredith's hands and throws it on the coffee table.

"Hey! I was... doing that."

"Well, now you're not. You're feeling bummed about Riggs and I get that. But now it's time to stop being an old lady and go outside.”

Meredith sighs. "I'm not that bummed, Alex. You know I’m not. He's a good guy. It would have been interesting. But the long lost love of his life is back, so good for him. It's better this way, really. I'm fine on my own. I'm a mother! I have three children. They are my priority."

"Okay, but have you considered that everything you just said is a pile of crap?"

Meredith punches Alex's arm. He feigns pain.

"It is, though," he continue. "You're a great mom, everyone knows that. But there is no substitute for companionship. For love. For sex.”

"Are you seriously lecturing me on companionship? On love? Look at you. Jo—

Alex interrupts. "Jo and DeLuca are ducking into empty hallways when they think we aren't looking and making dumb faces at each other even when they think we are. She's moved on. Whatever."

"Have you?"

"I guess. I don't want her back anymore, at least--I get that I really messed this relationship up. The rest of the chicks, yeah, I played a part but they were all nuts. This time, I went nuts."

"Well... at least you haven't peed on my couch yet."

Alex shakes his head. Meredith is never going to let that one go.

"Anyway. Get up. Go change. We're going out."

"Where? And why do I have to change? I'm perfectly fine with my knitting, thank you."

"Screw the knitting. Wear something hot; we're going to get you laid tonight."

Meredith opens her mouth to protest, but Alex has that look on his face. The one where Meredith already understands that she can argue about this with him for as long as she wants, but his stubborn ass is not going to give in. So she sighs again and begrudgingly gets off the comfortable couch.

10 minutes later, she comes out in a dress she hasn't worn in years and does a little spin for Alex. He whistles appreciatively, and she curtsies, laughing. Alex has changed into some nicer jeans and a button down shirt. Even though he looked like he was going to pass out on the kitchen floor when he first came home, he now looks reinvigorated.

"Where should we go? Joe's?"

Meredith hopes Alex is kidding. "You want me to find someone to have sex with at the bar where I met my dead husband for the first time?"

Alex frowns. "Bad idea, huh?"

"Come on, we look hot, let's go somewhere nice. Like adults. I'll even let you pay for dinner."

“Oh, how generous,” Alex says, pretending to be annoyed.

In the car, Meredith throws a bag of Cheerios, an iPad, and a coloring book into the back seat so Alex can sit in the front. They happily chat about the hospital, the weather, the kids--carefully avoiding the subject of Riggs and Jo and anything and anyone that has to do with Riggs and Jo.

They decide to go to the Metropolitan Grill. Neither of them eat a lot of red meat, but they’re both craving steak. Once seated, Alex orders a beer and Meredith gets herself a glass of Chardonnay.

“Wine tonight?” Alex asks as Meredith takes a sip.

“Yeah. I can be classy, you know.”

Alex chuckles. “Yeah, you can. But I’ve also seen you gulp a beer faster than any man I know, including myself.”

Meredith nods in agreement. “I can drink a beer with the rest of ‘em, for sure. But I prefer to get drunk on a classier substance these days.”

“It looks good on you,” Alex says. “But I gotta say, it’s pretty hot to see you destroy a dozen beers in a row.”

Meredith feels herself blushing. Why? Alex has admitted similar things dozens of times. She knows he thinks she’s attractive. So what? He’s good looking, too. That’s an obvious fact of their relationship. So why does her face feel like it’s burning? Must be the wine.

They order a ton of food and spend the balmy, rainy evening laughing, drinking, and eating. The whole reason why they went out--to get Meredith laid--seems to be forgotten, as Alex doesn’t leave her side the entire night. After a luxurious and decadent dessert of chocolate mousse, they argued over the bill (eventually Alex gave in and let Meredith pay it), and Alex led her out with his hand on the small of her back. As soon as his hand made contact, Meredith had to fight back a small gasp. It wasn’t that Derek used to do that--he preferred to hold her hand instead--but it was just so… intimate. Like they had already been married for 10 years or something. It was bizarre. It was nice. It was confusing.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” Alex says. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”

“Me, either, actually,” Meredith says. “Where should we go?”

They debated going to a late movie, to act like tourists at the Space Needle, to go for a long drive, but eventually settled on a small, dimly lit bookstore that Meredith’s mom used to take her to as a kid.

“I can’t believe this place is still here,” Meredith says when they arrive. She’s looking through the medical books, most of which were probably the same ones her mother sorted through decades ago.

(This is where I unfortunately ran out of steam for the middle...just imagine them looking at books together and feeling like they know each other better than anyone else knows them)

When they finally get home, they have to be quiet since Maggie and the kids are asleep. They crash on the living room couch, which is where the whole night started. Meredith looks at her abandoned knitting on the table. This night is ending way different than how it started. Funny how that happens sometimes.

“Want a beer?” Meredith whispers.

“Nah, I think I’ve had enough for tonight,” Alex whispers back, and there’s really nothing left to say now. They are sitting way too close to each other. Meredith puts her head on his shoulder, and he sighs in a way that makes Meredith realize something needs to happen, and probably soon. But what about… well, what about everything?

Meredith decides that she will be the one to address this. For once in her life, she will put it out there. No more secrets. Plus, she’s still feeling confident; she feels sexy in her nice dress and can still feel the warmth from the wine she drank earlier.

“You’re my person,” she blurts out. Alex looks at her… not strangely, because he knows exactly what she’s saying, but with a curious intrigue.

“Cristina’s your person,” Alex says softly.

“Yes, she is, but you’re my person. Not the person who lives in another country that I get to talk to for a few hours a week. The person who lives in my house, who helps with my children, who I work side by side with on a daily basis. You’re my person, Alex!”

Alex nods. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be more than your person. You’re not imagining this, Mer. I feel it, too. And we can ignore it forever, but eventually it’s going to catch up with us. Hell, it has caught up with us. It’s here.”

They are really talking about this. All these years, everything that’s happened, disappearing wives with cancer, dead husbands who end up at crappy hospitals, the highs and lows of life. They’ve been through it all. Maybe they can do this?

“But we know what’s going to happen already! We’ll get closer, it’ll be great, and then one of us will get freaked out by something and it’ll trigger our dark places. You’ll back off and move out and maybe get another job with Dr. Butthole just so you don’t have to be near me. Or I’ll start thinking about husband ghosts and how I need someone the kids can depend on and I’ll become cold and distant until we inevitably have some kind of disastrous break up where we never speak to each other again. And Alex, I can’t afford that. I can’t afford you not being in my life. I can’t--”

“Don’t be dumb, Mer. I’ll never work for Dr. Butthole again, that you can depend on.”

Meredith chuckles and hits him. Alex grabs her hand, and the warmth and comfort of it calms her down a little.

“You’re right. Those things can and may happen. But we’re older now. Our friendship can withstand this. Maybe… maybe we owe it to ourselves to try.”

Meredith looks into Alex’s earnest eyes and knows he’s right. She never thought about ending up with Alex, out of all people, but maybe this is what their terrible romantic disasters have been leading to. Maybe they had to go through all of that to come to this moment. Of course, Meredith has to think to herself, if Derek was still alive, she would be with him forever. But he’s not, and Alex is one of the brightest lights in her sometimes dim existence. He loves her kids, and they love him. They have all these shared experiences that have brought them as close as two human beings can be, practically. Maybe it is time.

Alex leans over while Meredith is deep into this existential crisis and gives her a small kiss. It’s an introductory kiss and it’s not everything Meredith has ever dreamed of or whatever, but it’s good. So good it makes the butterflies in her stomach start flying through the rest of her body.

It’s definitely time to try.

Alex pulls away and looks intently at her. Meredith lets every single emotion she’s feeling sink into her brain, and then leans in to kiss him again. This time it’s the kind of kiss they make movies about; the kind of kiss poets and writers have been describing in literature for thousands of years. It’s good, so good. And it’s even better with Alex’s hands in her hair and her hands pulling at his shirt and both of them needing each other in a way they’ve never been able to comprehend.

“Hey… if we don’t stop, things are going to get way too pornographic in here,” Meredith says when they manage to pull away.

“Well, I can’t say that would be disappointing,” Alex says, and she laughs.

“It wouldn’t be. But…”

“Kids are here. I get it. To be continued,” he says, and kisses her again, and it’s so good it almost knocks the wind out of her.

“I’m going to bed,” Meredith says when she catches her breath.

“Is that an invitation?” Alex says, but not in the frat brother way he used to talk to her, but in a respectful, almost hopeful kind of way.

“Yes… actually it is,” Meredith says, and he grins as they both get up and walk the short distance to the bedroom, where they fall in bed together fully clothed, wrapped around each other, wanting so much more but knowing and appreciating the tantalizing feeling of waiting until they can take it further, explore, and unlock the secrets that have been kept in their hearts for so long.

This is the easy part; the kissing and the honesty and the excitement of something new. What comes after will be the challenge. But for now, they are ready. They are at least ready to try.

#merlex #grey's anatomy #alex karev #meredith grey #idk #I didn't know what else to do with it but I wanted it out in the world #fandom #fanfic

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