a psa for those writing for johnny “soap” mctavish

as much as a love the works you’re all writing, a lot of people really don’t know how to write a scottish character (and that’s ok !!!! we get like no rep so) so as a scottish writer, i figured i should help you guys out a little bit.

dialogue

johnny has a VERYYY strong accent as i’m sure anyone can work out

however this doesn’t mean he’s suddenly speaking a different language

yes, a lot of slang is used and for a basic definition of scottish slang and how they should be used; use this ! if you have no idea of slang i’d recommend reading through every word

although we like to use slang, i can promise you that if we’re with someone that wouldn’t understand a word of it / someone who’s first language isn’t english, we wouldn’t speak fully scot (for example if johnny was speaking to alejandro or rudy)

there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he can speak gaelic. yeah i know this is an obvious one but i have seen a few people slip gaelic into his dialogue and that’s super duper inaccurate

barely anyone in scotland speaks gaelic (unless you’re up very high north or maybe in the isles). it’s actually almost an extinct language because the english pretty much wiped it out when we got colonised.

something i love to see is when he mumbles little scottish things under his breath. accurate af.

we say shite more than shit. and never ever will a scottish person say ass. it’s arse all the way.

we don’t call people (especially if you’re sleeping with someone !!!!) lass. or lassie. we call kids that.

pet names are normally along the lines of love, hen (my personal fave), sweetheart, little lady, bonnie (sometimes)

also, shagging is sex. shag, shagged, shagger. yeah.

mum not mom. maw, more commonly.

all that being said he does use a loottttt of slang so honestly go ham i love seeing scots language get used because it’s not been used in fanfic like ever before

culture

seen a few people write soap going mad for st andrews day

yeah no we don’t to that lol i barely every remember that it’s actually st andrews day

also, we aren’t all completely versed on celtic mythology. i could barely tell you the first thing about it.

in scotland we’re all kind of touchy, like we’ll greet people with a hug and stand weirdly close to each other so if that’s something you’re writing about it’s important to note that our personal space is really small

not sure where people get this idea from but scotland isn’t all sheep and highlands and fairies and like little huts

yes we have that but we’re a really modern nation and wayyy to many people have a weird perception of scotland

my man is literally from like glasgow (his accent sounds glasgow but don’t quote me on that) he’s not a farmer or anything

we swear. a lot.

KILTS. not skirts, very common to wear in scotland to events like weddings, christenings, anything formal really.

cunt isn’t a horrible word i literally everyone a cunt, sometimes it’s used affectionately

misc.

if you’re gonna write about scottish politics i beg you research it. johnnys probably pro independence and an SNP voter. google it for context

we’re really loud. and we talk really fast. yes, other characters are gonna be confused af

irn bru !!!!!!!!! it’s a scottish drink and ive seen one person mention it and i just about cried i loved it

in scotland you can vote at 16 and join the army at 16 if that’s relevant to you

if you’re going to write about something you don’t know anything about, either do research or ask someone scottish (im more than happy to help!!)

please don’t take these as complaints or anything !! it’s just very very off putting to see people make massive misconceptions and conclusions about scotland! i love that we’re finally getting some hype. anyways ask about anything!! <3

in honor of my new 1989 brainrot aligning with my constant marauders brainrot i've decided to relate every song on 1989(tv) to marauders ships and moments 🩵🩵

welcome to new york - the marauder's first day at hogwarts when they're all exploring and excited

blank space - dorlene - the whole being drawn to each other and having a wild side plus boys only want love if it's torture is so sapphic

style - jily - everything about the song just screams jily they're a classic

out of the woods - rosekiller - they knew they were powerful together and were always facing new obstacles plus everyone knows they're lowkey toxic in the best ways

all you had to do was stay - jegulus - james to regulus after reg broke up with him it just makes so much sense

shake it off - sirius black - it's about srius after he gains independence and stops caring about what others think of him

i wish you would - wolfstar - i miss you too much to be mad anymore this seems like remus forgiving sirius after the prank but not knowing how to reach out

bad blood - wolfstar post prank - every single line in this song relates to remus's feelings about sirius after the prank i was thinking you could be trusted

wildest dreams - jegulus - it's about regulus thinking that being with james is never going to end well someday when you leave me

how you get the girl - jegulus - never told her why regulus leaving james because he thought it was best for him but realizing that they both need each other <3

this love - wolfstar - this love is alive back from the dead them getting back together after sirius gets out of azkaban and getting to be happy

i know places - jegulus - a love that has everyone against them is so jegulus coded no matter the context

clean - jegulus - i was drowning that's when i could finally breathe regulus letting go of his love for james when he drowned in the cave because he was finally free

wonderland - nobleflower - they had their own little world and it lingered even when it fell apart

new romantics - black brothers - i firmly believe this is sirius showing regulus what life is like without the rules of the house of black

"slut!" - wolfstar - sirius was always known as a player and and easy shag but he fell hard for remus, the casanova of gryffindor everyone wants him that was my crime

say don't go - jegulus - james begging reg to tell him that he wants him too but regulus isn't going to

now that we don't talk - black brothers - the first verse is reg to sirius you grew your hair long and the mom who says it's for the best is walburga and the second verse is sirius to reg and the mom is effie (just ignore the romance subtext i love this sm)

suburban legends - jily - lily pov knowing that in theory she and james are perfect together but it isn't going to work and the unmarked number was regulus

is it over now? - bartylus - this one was actually so hard but i love the idea of reg singing the bridge to barty about how he slept around after they broke up while he stayed quiet

this was really fun and i kinda want to make it a series lol let me know what you think and if you agree or disagree with my interpretations!!

I must know more about jiu jujitsu shag & cig burn sex ideas…

happy you’re feeling better <3 -🌻

omg yes!!! rambles of ideas below the cut lol <3

(content warning; not actual smut writing bc it's just a plot outline, but still smutty stuff, so 18+. also, this includes rough sex and putting cigarettes out on skin)

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

so, for the first fic, the very elegantly named "jiu-jitsu shag," is actually a Ross fic from AGES ago!

the plot was basically you coming in for a self-defense class, and Ross was the teacher. he's lowkey a dickhead and singles you out the whole class. he chooses you for a demonstration and of course, the sexual tension is palpable.

you come back after the class to have a go at him, and he has a go right back. I never actually decided how the plot got to the next bit, but basically, it ends in you having rough sex in the studio in front of a wall of mirrors <3

/////

oooh, and the cig burn idea is the product of more unhinged dms between me and olive (@automaticllamacycle) It's a sub reader x dom matty fic, and clearly from the name, it involves cigarette burns lol!

basically, it's matty putting them out on you during sex (with consent from you duh), and the aftermath.

after a night of him doing just that, you are acting particularly bratty when you're out with everyone, draping yourself all over matty and trying to get him worked up in public. matty just slips his hands under your skirt and traces the burns with his fingertips, reminding you of who owns you. he presses down on them too, and tries to hide the sly smirk that threatens his cheeks when he hears you whimper in his ear.

when you get back home, he punishes you, spanking you and then edging you mercilessly. After a lot of begging from you, he finally agrees to eat you out (as if he hasn'tbeen salivating thinking of it all night, lol). on his way down traces around the circular welts with his tongue, licking and mouthing over the marks he left.

when he finally puts his mouth on your cunt, he grabs your thighs and grips them hard, making sure to line up his fingers with the burn marks. pressing into them punishingly, smiling into your pussy as he listens to the mix of cries of pain and pleasure falling from your lips.

//////

Ignore how badly thought out/typed those two ideas are, but hopefully, you get the vibe for both??? and if you hate either of them/don't want them... pls let me know so I don't embarrass myself lol

and thank you so much, my love. i am feeling a little bit better every day! today was a bit of a shit one, but hanging out on here has already made it better :)))

i am asking YOU to rant about YOUR WIP pls 😇😇😇😇

YOU CANNOT GIVE ME THIS POWER IT'S SIMPLY TOO MU-

anyways, let's talk Landoscar and Chapter 2 of Is It Gay to Watch Your Teammate on TikTok? 😇😇

Details below the cut due to length

What's Been Taking So Long?

first and foremost, this was originally meant to be a oneshot -- but then I couldn't quite figure out the ending. I knew there needed to be a moment of acceptance on Lando's part, but then I was like.... "so what's next?". I had a vague idea that the culmination could happen in Suzuka, so I just ran with it and posted the first part as Chapter 1.

If I had been smart, I would have outlined the Suzuka chapter before committing but alas... I'm a moron 🥰

So I spent a while just trying to find the plot. The boys kept running me in a million directions, but I finally got there!!! With infinite help from YOU, my dear Lima lol

What Inspired This WIP?

Deadass I thought of a random line of dialogue while brewing my tea in the office. Standing there, staring blankly at my mug, it popped into my head:

“I mean, who wants to shag a coworker, right?” "HAHA YEAH SERIOUSLY WHO WOULD WANT THAT HAHA NOT ME OR ANYTHING OK BYE"

Which obviously had undeniable Landoscar energy. And then the rest was born.

Favorite Bit in Ch. 2 So Far?

Without spoiling too much, the boys have some ✨forced proximity✨ in Tokyo, which results in this beauty:

“The algorithm must know I’m in Japan,” He shrugs, playing it as cool as possible. “Sebzuka, and all that.” “Vettel has a ship name with a… country?” Oscar’s brow is fully furrowed now. “Oh my god, they don’t want him to fuck Japan, mate!” Lando laughs, the tension he felt just seconds ago broken by the earnestness in Oscar’s expression. “But they want him to… fuck… Lewis?” He clarifies, the word ‘fuck’ nearly comical in his nonplused delivery.

Oscar trying desperately to understand Lando and his brain rot is so dear to me

This is also a beloved favorite moment, courtesy of Sebastian and his field trip:

“I’m gonna make the best bee sex hotel.” Lando says with an easy smile as he basks in Sebastian’s warm gaze. Their hug feels distinctly — comparatively — brief.

Other Thoughts:

I've really enjoyed trying to balance Lando's humor with investigating deeper concerns. Things like the seniority imbalance if Lando tries to initiate anything with Oscar, the fact that addressing the elephant in the room may end up being more dangerous to than both than its worth. It's been a difficult tone to strike -- which is another reason this has taken a while -- but I think it really suits both of them as characters.

I'm actually going to spend my evening working on this some more!! Hopefully it's out ASAP (brain cooperation allowing, as always ^^;)

I’ve never understood Wolfstar, Jegulus, or Drarry. Yes, Sirius and Remus were friends but they went that close. If they were would Sirius have believed Remus was a spy? Did this conversation not come up as he was gazing into his eyes or shagging his brains out? Would Remus not have tried to bail or see Sirius in jail? None of it adds up. Jegulus doesn’t make sense either. There’s no interaction between James or Regulus, if James was going to choose a Black it would be Sirius not Regulus. This is the Wolfstar gang wanting to pair James with someone else because they believe Sirius belongs to Remus. Plus, James would never date a death eater. Then there’s Drarry, and I don’t get this pairing at all. They have nothing in common other than being Seekers at quidditch which we don’t even know if that was Draco’s position or if he was placed into that because it was all that was available on the Slytherin team. Harry hates everything about Draco, his morals, his friends, his attitude, and his family, his existence, and his face. Would Harry have really cared if Draco died in the fire? Probably not. He would have felt bad for a few seconds because he’s a cabbage and maybe when Narcissa asked if Draco was alive he would have been thinking fuck I should have tried harder to save the lil bitch (although I can guarantee Harry would have lied to Narcissa about Draco because he needed to get rid of Voldemort). Rorry makes way more sense than Drarry. And don’t even get me started on Drinny. Ginny would have never let that ferret touch her and if she was forced to marry him, you best believe my girl found a way to murder the whole Malfoy family in one night. What all of these pairings have in common is Remus, Regulus, and Draco are completely off character and writer makes them the Casanova of Hogwarts. There’s nothing in the books about Remus being good looking, Regulus is decent looking but not as attractive as Sirius, and there is not even one line of Harry thinking Draco is a good looking guy. The Drarry shippers have made me hate the pairing so much that I can’t even ship Scorbus lol. I hate that kid and want him to die for just being a Malfoy 🤣. I know it’s not fair but you can thank the Drarry shippers for my hatred of Scorbus and pushing their agenda.

I agree with you on all fronts (except for Scorbus because I loooove me some Scorbus and it’s the only thing making me keep Draco alive!)

Wolfstar is like the friends to lovers trope. But I don’t think they were that close either. They thought each other were the spy!! It just doesn’t make sense. I’d love to hear how Wolfstar writers write this. Like do they just forgo canon like they do these characters personalities?? You could maybe sell me on post-Azkaban Wolfstar but they need to be in character and you need to make it make sense, you know?? Even then, I’m suspect. You’d have to do a lot of convincing for me to try it.

James dating a Death Eater?? No, makes zero sense whatsoever. James hated the dark arts. He hated Death Eaters. He would never have dated Regulus. Ever. From what I understood, the characterizations of them are bad in order to make them work.

Now, if you wanted a good friends to lovers couple, I would recommend a nice Prongsfoot or Rarry, like you said. If you want the little cabbage to be born (which I know I do), I love me a well done Jilypad. That throuple just makes sense on so many levels. I’d love to read a long fic with this couple, but I’ve only found short one shots. And, in my mind, Hinny is together in every universe… except the one where Rarry is together. End of story. Sorry, there is one universe where Hinny is not together.

As for Drarry, I view it as like a Dramione. They both make the same amount of sense and you do have to drastically change their canon personalities to make it work. I’m not a big fan of enemies to lovers. But that’s just me.

Now, I do love Scorbus. It’s very Romeo and Juliet with their forbidden love because their families hate each other. There’s not enough good Scorbus out there.

Fanny for the Ask game.

you're so real for that one<3

favorite thing about them: girl the FACES she pulls. when i started watching that show i literally couldnt get past one scene with her bcs i jsut kept laughing sm

least favorite thing about them: so like. our girl HAS to get rid of the rigidness. at LEAST a little bit. also uhm the obvious homophobia subplot but i think she has worked through that, at least a lil.

favorite line: in the Red Nose special, when Kylie Minogue shows up and Robin asks what does [her being from Australia] mean, and Fanny replies "It means we should probably hide the silverwear" INSANE LINE. I think about it all the time.

brOTP: Cap and Fanny - THEE faghag and homo duo, like they mean the world to me

OTP: tbh theres no real otps here. sometimes i think fanny/julian are good for the lols, also theres one ship thats rather an unserious crackship of mine i dont even think theres fics for it out?? but the idea arose one time and i was like "oh wait, that isnt like. awful"

nOTP: uhm? apart from the obvious ones (e.g. cap/fanny?? if such a thing even exists), I don't think I'm overly opposed to any ships.

random headcanon: in the season5 that lives in my head, she and Julian DO hook up, and its absolutely embarrassing afterwards and lowkey traumatises the rest of the gang even more than the Humphrey thing once they get wind of it. And Fanny will pretend for the rest of her afterlife that it did Not happen, but also, secretly, might have been the best shag she's ever had. Not that anyone, least of all Julian, has to know that.

unpopular opinion: I've once read that she's allegedly one of the least popular characters and this honestly felt like a shot to the heart. So I GUESS, my "unpopular opinion" is the fact that I actually like her???

song i associate with them: HMMM none currently but maybe thatll change

favorite picture of them: ok technically this is Martha, YES, BUT!!!! theres just smth about Fanny smiling and being happy

Okay this is more a comment than an ask but Concreteclan gives me the vibes of an episodic cartoon that slowly starts to have overarching stories and themes and arcs like adventure time or..actually adventure time is the only thing I can think of. Concreteclan has adventure time vibes!/pos

OOC: Awww thank you!! To be perfectly candid and honest, while i do love adventure time and that probably did leak into Concreteclan as a result-The real inspirations of this blog are (besides other clangen blogs) tails gets trolled, Mob psycho 100 and Preeny has to repeat 6th grade. I love the mspaint aesthetic so much, i use clip studio paint but purposefully try to keep my shading flat most of the time and my lines crisply pixely. I also know that even though i could probably make the comic look "nicer" i choose to kinda play fast and loose with the lines and colors. I mean, lorn's face is constantly changing length in almost every panel lmao. Ive found its more fun to not worry so much about making sure my art is perfect. As for my inspirations- Tails gets trolled is like. actually a fucking great webcomic, as flawed as it is. (its been a while since ive read it, pretty sure slurs are used in it lol, but i digress) Concreteclan is really an homage to it in only art style and sometimes humor. If you guys want another webcomic thats like more of a direct homage, i would highly recomend Scoob and Shag, which is just as apeshit if not more. Mob psycho 100 is a more subtle inspiration, i just really resonate with the themes of that comic. I also got a confidence boost from it cuz like. Mob100's artstyle is rough and some would say "bad". But it still got made into an anime! and its still acclaimed. You know why? Cuz the art is EXPRESSIVE! It evokes emotion! And thats what im going for! emotion over perfection. Also its got really good writing. Preeny has to repeat 6th grade is. god. probably just straight up a special interest of mine. Its such a kind story. A lot of clangen stories start with tragedy. (esp when theres only two cats to start off) And dont get me wrong, i love it a lot. Starting from nothing like that is a really fun narrative and I live for it. But im a contrarian little guy. So i wanted to start off with an act of kindness that has ripple effects for the rest of the comic. There will be tragedy and sadness in Concreteclan, but I guess i just want it to be in a different way. And while im talking about inspirations, Lorn and Indigo both kinda were inspired by Papyrus and Sans from undertale. In terms of dynamics. Lorn is more inspired by Papyrus than Indigo is inspired by Sans. Indigo is far different from Sans, and would probabaly find him uncouth and a slob. She's a proper lady with manners after all. Lorn and Papyrus would fucking have a blast hanging out though.

All in all, yeah! Thats my rant of the day done, thanks for the ask! I'm Buddy and thats Conk-CRETE!

So this looks like a job for 💛 anon.

I hope you're ok with this but this is operating under the assumption that the reader can have a period ✌🏻

At first I reckon the boys are just, so confused bless them. They're like 'Marko, did you bring home a snack? Like, the cave smells like blood and (Y/N) is CLEARLY fine, so did you bring an arm home or something' (Marko is a messy fucking eater)

Billy is just a bit clueless. He lives with women but he also doesnt pay any attention.

Stevie boy though. Not only does he have Nancy and Robin (who I think probably openly discuss this stuff with each other and steve just overhears), but he also has to second hand deal with el and max coz they're his charges.

Hes the first one to put two and two together. And lets be real, hes probably the most sympathetic. He isnt a vamp so he will go out in sunlight and buy everything you need and he will be comforting.

Billy, I love him, but he definitely knows nothing and hes like 'come on it cant be that bad can it' and then he incurs the wrath of steve and the reader and honestly probably Dwayne. Him and marko are the two likeliest to find themselves in the dog house for that week (marko is probably constantly still trying to shag them coz of the blood)

Dwayne is nice. He tries his best. Let's be real, vampires run cold (or at least I assume they do) so if the reader is overheating (which has happened to me during it), he is like a human ice pack. They probably prefer a steve cuddle most of the time but the boys are on hand.

Paul as well is a sweetheart. Hes like 'what can I get you oh my god so this is a monthly thing? Well why does that happen? You've got to deal with this for most of your life? Ew. You want chocolate, sweets, blood, sex, cuddles, movies, books, me to leave, anything?'

David. Well. Bless his heart he tries but the most he can really do is keep Billy and marko in line and be there for the breakdowns

I feel like the boys definitely know what periods are and at least know the basics, because they can probably smell it whenever somebody is going thru it, but they wouldn’t know the details or how people deal with them in the modern world. They would be like “cramps?? Just soak a pad in opium, what’s the big deal???” And the humans are like ….what the fuck is wrong with you

But yeah, Steve is ON IT when it comes to buying you whatever you need, and Marko is just busy making sarcastic remarks and joking around with Billy. You tell them you’re gonna make them understand your pain, and you definitely make good on that promise lol

And Dwayne gives killer massages 😚

Tbh what I really miss about the earlier seasons is how well Fb used to write MC close/best girlfriends. Season 1 we had Talia, who didn’t actually force herself on MC for the whole season (Dana take notes babe!) Season 2 we had Hope, Lottie for all us Noah girlies. Season 3 we had Elladine and Genevieve (who even if you were persuing Harry at the start still wanted to be your BFF). Even season 4 wrote Angies storyline SO WELL.

Now I don’t understand what happened tbh. I don’t even want to talk about ex in the villa, but this season I feel like MC is really lacking actual friends? Amelia is a snake, Grace is a paranoid bitch who doesn’t know when to call it quits with Ozzy, and you only see Bella most of the time if your open to dating girls.

Anyway, my point was I’m really REALLY manifesting that Flo is actually there to support MC and be her friend? She is coupled up with amelia’s old partner, so I doubt there will be any couple/ boy drama between us, and I could use a girl BFF that takes the hint and doesn’t want to shag me in the hideaway, but also has a good romatic story line for the W/W girlies. FB do better!

do you know what I like even more and also miss about the game. Outside of Elladine none of these girls were my besties. Which means that the game had so many routes you could take that we both had completely different experiences. For s1 lowkey Tim was my BFF lolol I loved that guy. s2 was Priya/Chelsea I was SO SAD when I had to decide between one of them to dump. I was Hope's bestie when I did a Lucas route and she was SO DIFFERENT to when you're on a Noah route. I absolutely loved her and she is def on the top of my list for besties. s2 just ate period. s3 was Elladine who I loved sm. s4 I loved Angie but this was the beginning of us not having choices when it came to our friends which tbh I didnt like. we barely saw Najuma if you weren't doing a WLW route which is super disappointing. s5 is the season that shall not be talked about lol. And now we legit have no friends again, esp if ur on Ozzy's route. Grace gives me whiplash. bc its obvious that something is happening between MC and Ozzy, she also recognizes it and talks about it often, shoots MC daggers but then in the same breath asks mc so who do you like?!?! u think u'll stay with Elliot??? bih what??? LOL this doesnt even make sense a TINY bit. then u have Amelia who is an absolute snake and doesnt even deserve the title of friend let alone sister. All the while we have Bella who is actually lovely but we never get to see if ur on WLW. The very brief moments weve gotten to interact with her im like I LOVE HER. LET HER BE OUR FRIEND! I fear the same thing is going to happen with Flo. 😭😭😭

A reminder, in light of recent news

A great many of us have fantasies about meeting our favorite celebs. Many of those fantasies involve the celeb either falling in love with you or just shagging you silly. Nothing wrong with a bit of harmless fantasies, right?

There have also been numerous posts about how incredibly gross and unhealthy it is to attempt to share those fantasies with celebs. That's important to remember, too. Your fantasies are meant to he harmless (at least outside of your head).

Another huge red flag that should be stabbed right through your eye: don't act like you OWN a celebrity. If, for example, they get married, BE HAPPY FOR THEM. It has zero effect on your fantasies. You can continue your daydreams and smutfics and whatever else you want regardless of their marriage status. Hell, regardless of their breathing status. What you do NOT want to do is threaten them, their spouse, or yourself with harm. Not even as a "joke." That shit ain't funny, kids.

The celeb who lives in your head is already a fictionalized version of the real person. The real person getting married changes NOTHING, but if it still bothers you just imagine an AU where they didn't get married. Or, y'know, try for a threesome and add to the fun. LOL!

Fantasies are a fairly normal thing, but there are some hard and fast limits to them and there are some lines you shouldn't cross. Keep it safe and healthy, kids. And dream on, in the best possible sense of the term. :)

I'm pretty good at drinking beer, as the lyrics to a country song go. Once I got too old to shag a fly ball without pulling a hammy I had to find interests other than sports so.

One of my favorite things is trying beers I've never had. Even better is revisiting old favorites I've not had in a long while. With the help of a FB feed filled with posts from bars, breweries, and restaurants, I'm often spoiled for choice.

Lately I've had some lovely sessions including properly conditioned Guinness, Spaten, as well as very rare German and Belgium imports, but I’ve also had a few beers that weren’t right.

On Friday I ordered an old friend from Lazy Magnolia Brewing called Southern Pecan, a brown ale. I knew instantly, the beer Mary delivered to me didn’t taste like that beer should. I first drank this beer in Mississippi and mostly I’ve drank it there and Louisiana where it’s on most menus, often the only craft option available except when Abita makes an appearance. This beer is distributed in the Kentuckiana area though and I bought a sixer a few months ago when a friend from Biloxi was in to visit. Yeah no. The beer in front of me was brown but it tasted like what might happen if you mixed it with a sour beer.

I’d noted before selecting this beer, the tap list was heavy on American domestics and sour beer! What an odd combination. I suspected the tap lines had not been properly flushed when the brown ale was put on. I guessed I was drinking half brown ale diluted with whatever sour was previously on that tap. I doubted if anyone had ordered this beer after it was tapped or if they did, they would know what it was suppose to taste like. I had many choices in this circumstance. I could insist there was something wrong with the beer, I’ve done this on a few occasions. I knew I’d get a new beer but the bartender wouldn’t believe there was anything wrong with the beer. I could explain I was someone who would know but it’s a difficult thing to do without coming off as a…man.

Lol I didn’t hate the beer and Mary, the bartender, had treated me well so I decided to just drink it. Then a young woman walked up to the bar and sat down about four seats away. I noticed of course, as we were the only two at the bar, but I assumed she was waiting on someone else to show up. It was when she asked the bartender if they had a red ale on, that I really took notice. Asking for a particular beer style was unusual for many reasons but Mary’s response was exactly what I expected. Ummmmm?

The young woman turned to me and asked, “What are you drinking.”

I grinned and replied, “Not really sure. It’s supposed to be Lazy Magnolia Pecan brown but it doesn’t taste right to me. Do you know the beer?” I asked

It was her turn to grin. “I should, I just moved here from Baton Rouge and I’m a bartender.”

Mary poured her a bit. She smelled it, gave it a quick taste and said, “No that’s not right.”

Mary said she’d let her manager know. Honestly I didn’t care, by that time I’d nearly finished the beer so never mind.

Yesterday, after a lot of consideration, I decided to watch a basketball game at a sports bar in Louisville. I was reconsidering my options about a minute after I sat down. Again, a large beer list made up primarily of domestics that mostly taste like water used to wash out a beer glass to me. There were also a half dozen sours. I settled on a local brewery option described as a pale ale. Dejavu all over again! I was given a sourish beer. I quickly looked up the beer on the brewery website and sure enough it wasn’t supposed to be sour. I drank the beer and asked for different one that tasted like “it” was supposed to taste.

So what’s “beer” supposed to taste like? A nonsensical question like what is wine suppose to taste like or what does soda taste like. Of course when it’s made, a specific beer is supposed to taste like whatever the brewer intended. If it does, like it or not, it tastes like beer.

After the game, I was in Total Wine and as I walked through the beer aisle I passed two employees talking to each other. One said, some people just want a beer that tastes like beer. My mind stuttered and I walked over to the Belgian imports next to where they stood. I put a sixer of Leffe Blonde ale and a four pack of Duvel triple hop in my cart. Both are beers I’ve drank for years. They taste like beer. I started to push my cart away then stopped. I looked at the employee who’d made the comment.

Beer that tastes like beer? What does that even mean? I asked

He looked unsure but didn’t say anything so I walked away.

After I’d drank the Southern Pecan, that didn’t taste like that beer was supposed to taste, I told Mary I’d have an Old Style. I said I’d never had one but it was a well known staple and I was curious.

After my first drink Baton Rouge asked me how it was.

I laughed and said it tastes like water with a bit of alcohol in it. She said, “In Baton Rouge we call those fishin beers!” I said we call them lawnmower beers. But I could drink gallons of it. She smiled, held up her glass of Taxman Belgian double ale and said, “Many do.”

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

also on medic’s “wife”, that whole idea came from demoman’s voice line where he claims to be “shagging his wife”. you know, a very common insult, also coming a guy who’s infamously extremely drunk all the time, by people who are all somewhat secretive about their personal lives. my personal theory is demoman thought he fucked his wife but in reality he fucked a mop or something -🚙

TBH. I mean I don't really loveeeeee the interpretation that Demo Actually thinks he fucked Medic's wife but he's Too Drunk And Stupid to realize that he didn't :/ but I DO think that it's an insult with nothing else to it. I make it pretty clear in that post that I personally don't think Medic has a wife at all and that it's just a stupid insult, I find insisting that that line CONFIRMS THAT MEDIC HAS A WIFE REAL??? to be pretty silly and it's def not my hc lol. Imo Demo is fully aware that he never had sex with Medic's wife and he's just tryna get under his skin

*cough* would you like to expand on the kink and rough stuff from the uk + ireland headcanon ask? especially for ireland and wales. yknow, uh, asking for a friend....👀

LMAO okay. 18 + under the cut.

Just gonna start by saying that kink is as unique and varied as people are. And, in my experience, a person's personality / lifestyle is not always a precursor to what they will find arousing. So if you disagree with these headcanons, or they squick you, that's totally ok. Anyway, onto the fun stuff.

Scotland

Not too into kink, but not too bothered by it either. An ideal shag for him is rough; a drunken tryst with biting, scratching, a few punches and kicks, using physical force to pin his partner to the wall (or being pinned himself), and waking up very sore the next morning, with bruises that didn't heal overnight. He doesn't like planning elaborate scenes, preferring to improvise, and with centuries of experience, he's quite good at knowing where to draw the line. Will try most things once, but stays away from what he perceives as "hardcore".

Ireland

At some point in the 1600s, his Catholic guilt became a fetish for religious scandal. Phallic religious iconography, breaking an oath of chastity, confessing sins (and then receiving punishment). He's more invested in the context of a scene than the kinky practice itself, so when he plans elaborate playdates, the scene will have semi-believable character(s) and a fully developed storyline. Prefers to submit, but will dom if asked, as long as it doesn't involve physically hurting his partner. Oh, and he's very okay with having three or more participants in the bedroom at once.

Northern Ireland

Young and curious. He hasn't been around as long as his brothers, and so he hasn't had as much time to explore his sexuality. However, as society becomes more open about sex, he finds himself browsing and wondering about kink more and more these days. Favourite research topics include exhibitionism and bondage. Maybe one day, he'll ask his partner to spank him.

England

It's called the "English Vice" for a reason. His earliest kinks came from experiences with corporal punishment; whips, chains, flogging, etc. Sought anonymous encounters with humans during the Victorian era, when he was trying to exude an aura of restraint and "good morals". All this did was unlock a new kink for taboo practices and now he secretly likes being called a pervert. England won't beg, but enjoys being brought very close to begging through edging, long scenes, or multiple orgasms. As a switch, he likes giving and receiving pain, holding power and releasing it, in equal measures. Unfortunately, it's hard for him to trust others with his submissive and masochistic side, so it's often his dominant side that comes out. And he prefers to dom while wearing stilettos.

Wales

On the outside, he looks like such a soft bean, but he goes hard in the bedroom, demanding absolute obedience and respect. Fully dominant, he can be quite intimidating in the right environment. If his partner wants to go to a dungeon, he will pull some strings and rent out an ACTUAL DUNGEON in a historic castle, clean it properly, and the populate it with his own toys. He has his own cage, cuffs, benches, pulley harnesses, inserts including Bad Dragon items, and much more. He collected these things slowly over time, and as a result, some of his stuff is a little old fashioned. A touch out-of-date. Yes, he will put his partner in a (modified) medieval torture device if they ask nicely. Also, particularly enjoys witchcraft scenarios.

~~~

Woof. Okay! This was my first adult ask, so I hope it meets expectations?? LOL. It's okay, we're all filthy degenerates (affectionate) on this hellsite. ❤

i think backgrounds is a thing but also kind of like what they stand for. R is rich and privileged living off her parents money (which is fine) and constantly jetting off to places lol (again fine) and doesn’t have a job or even need one tbh like that’s literally unheard of in the north like you literally need a job to afford a living

I get the crux of what you're saying here but I promise you there is a "posh" north and it's somehow even more horrifying than posh London

But aye those experiences are what shape your values

Thing is can any of us say we don't want to better our futures and give our kids better futures?

I for one hope that one day I'm well off enough that if my kids graduate uni and they don't know what to do with themselves and are trying to break into a tricky industry, they can come home to the family house and keep working on their goals? Like I wouldn't want me kids dossing but id fucking hate to think I'm working my arse off now so that one day in the future I can force my kids to slog it too?

Like I really get where all these anons are coming from about the culture clash and about like how it isn't fair that certain people have life so so much easier, and also like how it's weird that a man who's made a lot of being "rags to riches" is now seemingly dating someone with different principles so is kinda sacrificing his own BUT

1) it's only dating

2) no one in poverty wants to remain on the poverty line, I really don't blame him for "social climbing" he's having experiences that were barred from him by the class system for a long time and that can only be a good thing.

3) maybe he's not sacrificing his principles, I've seen very privileged women learn/grow when they've been in relationships with people from poorer backgrounds (relationships teach both people different things afterall)

4) he's not a hypocrite for shagging. He isn't sacrificing any principles by dating someone middle class. If anything it's weird to say that all working class people must remain completely true to their poverty stricken roots, that only reinforces class structure and makes certain things "not for us" like would you say it's sacrificing principles for a v working class lad from Stockport to go to Oxford? Is he a class traitor? Am I a class traitor for buying a gingerbread man in Morrisons or like idk Waitrose one time? Is it class traitory for working class people to go to art galleries, or listen to classical music, or learn to play the flute, or read lit fiction?

Do you see what I mean like, there's loads of things deemed middle class which have always been "not for the likes of us" but if we start saying any working class person who engages with those things is a traitor to their class then we're the ones reinforcing the structure that oppresses us?

Like idk, I tryyy very hard these days not to judge people who are middle class, because I do know nice people who are, my dad's got some lovely middle class friends... lots of the people I've met in Scotland that are southern English middle class snd have moved up here for cheap rent are nauseating cunts but idk, best to give people the benefit of the doubt until they actually start on the "i just dont see why we should give free school meals to children just because their parents smoke 40 a day and want the latest iphone" rant

The best situ for them is class divide causes misunderstandings and mild irritation but they are happy together anyway and it's not a deep problem. the worst is that the relationship falls apart because they can't understand eachother (this is usually what brings down all relationships though even ones that are class balanced? Is that a phrase that felt weird to write?) Like I grew to fucking despise my ex for being privileged and out of touch but I wouldn't wish that on anyone lol I lost a bestie and it sucked!!

Anyway my point is mostly just that you don't know them at all and to hold your horses accusing anyone of abandoning their principles just for dating someone from a different class background that's meh

Obvs btw anon not all of this is aimed at you in anyway because you aren't the one who has sent me all these things, it's just yours is so far one of the only ones that's on theme with the other anons that's polite enough to post. Some of the stuff in my inbox right now is harshhhh

Lol I just read the ask your posted and this line made me cackle because my brain immediately went “lol these clowns could never” 🤡🤡🤡

So that night when Anthony wants to continue where they left off, she suggests maybe they should take a break and abstain a little. Maybe have two weeks of no intimacy.

He only agrees because Kate pulls the "Don't you want to make your children's life easier" card as well as the "What? Think you can't handle it?" card.

It's more or less a nightmare at Aubrey Hall. Anthony is in as bad a mood as he was before he met Kate and when he practises fencing with his brothers, Benedict and Colin are fearful they might actually be stabbed by their overzealous brother. By day seven, Penelope sends Kate a letter telling her Colin will not be coming to visit again until Anthony is in a better humour. Benedict is a bit more blunt and asks Kate delicately to invite him to tea only after "you two start shagging again".

Benedict and Colin are able to visit again by the tenth day.

So, so glad I discovered your page because it had such good psycho pass content and kougino lives rent free in my head! Why?? aren't they more popular?? Anyway, those posts with quotes tagged of them are absolutely the end of me.

You know, there are so little of them in S3 reunited that who knows is they didn't meet for the first time in dad's old bunker house accidentally and totally had to make up and Kou professed his love? And they've been shagging ever sin-Anyway, I'm writing that fanfic soon

Cheers, let's stay in touch

thank you! happy to provide 😌

kougino is so underrated. ive always been a fan of people with shared complicated history esp when they live in that really interesting tension of knowing each other the best while also knowing very little at all. i always hc kou and gino as kind of being each other’s unspoken first love that never came to fruition—in the sense that they never explicitly spelled it out but the potential was always there until they were too estranged to acknowledge or really do anything about it. like one of those things where they’re young and getting drunk with each for the first time and in a vulnerable moment gino confesses that he’s never been kissed and kou drunkenly states that he can fix that. gino’s reluctant at first, they get a little too into it, nearly cross a line but kou passes out and then the morning after they pretend it didn’t happen. until it happens a second time. then a third. but they NEVER talk about it once. yknow… basic platonic best friend activities lol

and you are so right. in my ideal kougino world they are definitely friends with benefits and wearily pretending they don’t love each other until they both realize they’re too old and tired to continue playing an insecure young man’s game and are finally honest in a very soft way that’s completely opposite to how they’ve treated each other in the past. the alternative is that they are very toxic and refuse to be vulnerable with each other and i just like that for the angst factor

realistically, im hoping that the upcoming new movie does spend some time exploring their current dynamic. as with many of my ships for this show im not daring to hope for anything explicitly romantic but i do want to see some genuine care in how their characters and relationship are treated. doesn’t have to be much lol i can do plenty with just subtle implications alone but the worst thing the writers can definitely do is paint them as indifferent to the other. i don’t think i can abide by that

if you ever write any kougino fic i’d be very happy to read it! we need more