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elvenbeard · 11 months

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|| You never saw me on the right side || || You never saw me on the wrong || || You never saw me on the right side || || You never saw me coming ||

Lately I've been kinda obsessed with "Gloves" by Saint Punk, and whenever I'm kinda obsessed with a song for a specific character, I'd ideally love to make a music video... but since I currently don't have the time for that, I opted for an edit based on the lyrics. I don't think I've ever done anything comparable, or at least it's been a long while, but I really had so much fun with this xD I might do more for the rest of the song, because there's some more lines in there that just hit hard and that I'd like to visualize wit VP 👀

Also, in general, I see such cool more graphic-y edits by others in the fandom all the time (especially @pinkyjulien and @chevvy-yates come to mind, like... your stuff is *so good*), I wanted to try something along those lines myself with this xD

I just really really love the intro lines so much, because it reflects so many aspects of Vince as a character, I'm going feral just thinking about it... How neither his corpo-past nor his merc career are better or worse than the other (same shit, just a slightly different packaging, to him at least), how he himself is always kind of morally grey and a little unpredictable in whose side he's gonna end up on, how he never really fits in where he goes, but uses being underestimated because of that to his advantage, how he rose from a nobody to an Afterlife legend through sheer spite and determination, and so on!! asjdökfjdfaöjsf I love him so much and I love that song XD

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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(purify our misfit ways tag | AO3)

It’s so, so strange to realize that this is probably the best summer Robin’s had since she was a kid, and it’s barely July.

Oh sure, there’s plenty she still has to worry about—she’s still dead set on escaping Hawkins’ gravitational pull and becoming someone worth being, someone who has adventures and eats fancy cheese in Paris and maybe maybe even kisses a girl under the stars someday, and that means she has to work her ass off.

If she wants even half a chance at any of that stuff, she’s got to pick up as many shifts as she can and work on her French for at least an hour every day and never ever lose sight of the goal. She can get out of here, and who knows, maybe she can even take Eddie with her. He’s bad at languages but she thinks he’d like Paris anyway, with her around to translate. She thinks it’d be fun, roaming the streets of Europe with someone who makes her laugh like Eddie does: someone she trusts more than she thought she’d ever trust anyone.

So she’s been working hard, definitely, but it wasn’t all that long ago that she’d been thinking of this chapter of her life as just something to get through with gritted teeth and grim determination. Now, she wakes up most days in the early summer sunshine and remembers that she’s scheduled with Steve, and that Eddie’ll swing by in the afternoon when he wakes up if he’s not too busy with his nerd shit, and she feels confusingly genuine happiness percolating through her. It feels like good things can exist in the present, not just the potential future. It feels soap-bubble iridescent and fragile.

A year ago, the thought of toiling in the Hawkins customer service trenches in the company of Steve “the Hair” Harrington and Eddie “the Freak” Munson would’ve sounded like a waking nightmare. Now, just the thought of Steve’s dumb jokes and Eddie’s wild dramatics is enough to tuck a smile into the corners of her mouth as she hurries to get ready, moving just a little faster to get her day started sooner.

Eddie’s managed to get over whatever weird homosexual paroxysm he was having, and acts mostly normal around Steve. Normal for Eddie, that is, which means that on one slow afternoon he sits cross-legged on a table and retells the story of Odysseus with the little red plastic sample spoons, doing progressively squeakier voices for each character; another time, he talks them into what he calls a Scoops Soup Showdown, where he mixes up three spoonfuls of ice cream until they’re basically one undifferentiated liquid and forces Steve and Robin to guess the original flavors.

Steve had been weirdly good at that one, and Robin’s still half-convinced he’d been cheating somehow despite his indignant denials. It had all ended when he’d guessed strawberry-butterscotch-vanilla before she’d even pulled the spoon out of her mouth, and she’d been forced to dip her finger in the gross goop and chase him around the back room, trying to give him a wet willy. Eddie had been cackling so hard he’d slid all the way under the table.

Robin’s not dumb, she knows high school friendships fall apart all the time, but god she hopes she gets to keep this.

That’s another thing: at this point, it’s getting kind of silly to pretend that Steve’s not actually sort of her friend too, bizarre as that would’ve seemed a few months ago. It’s a new and tentative thing, but she is provisionally willing to admit that it is in fact what scientists might classify as friendship, subcategory probational. Even when Eddie’s not around, she usually ends up having a pretty okay time just complaining about the mind-numbing drudgery with Steve.

It helps that Steve seems to have given up on the matchmaking, mostly. He hasn’t mentioned anything about Robin’s boyfriend-attracting qualities in at least a week now, though he still asks stuff about Eddie every so often in a way that makes Robin squint suspiciously.

“I think he might be, y’know, at a loose end,” is all Eddie says when she brings it up. “Harrington needs a hobby more than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s what happens when you eject the Hawkins jock from his natural habitat. He’ll find something new and shiny to distract him soon.”

Eddie’s usually right about this kind of thing, so Robin’s just been waiting it out, fielding all Eddie-related questions with the patience of a saint.

Today, when she rolls into Scoops, she feels about ready for canonization when Steve looks up and says, “Hey, Robin. Is Eddie coming by today?”

“Eddie is mysterious and unknowable,” Robin informs him. “His movements are like the flight of birds, or like the autumn wind through the trees.”

“Jesus christ, why are you guys so weird,” Steve sighs. “Is he gonna be here or not.”

Robin shrugs, pulling on her vest and donning the stupid sailor hat. “He said he’s gonna try to get his band together for a rehearsal or something. He’ll be here if that doesn’t work out.”

“Oh!” Steve points at her. “The, uh. Coffin guys, right? Do they even play in the summer?”

“Not normally, but the drummer guy knows someone who runs a bar in Indy or something like that, so Eddie wants to record a demo and try his luck. He’s been complaining non-stop about it, so maybe if he throws a big enough hissy fit, the boys will give in.”

Robin gets a secret little thrill at how cool and grown-up it sounds to say record a demo, like that’s just something she casually mentions all the time. Eddie is the biggest dork she knows and a total disaster of a human being, but whenever she talks about his life, it somehow ends up sounding amazing. There’s just something about him that’s too big and bright for Hawkins, and she loves how he’s just as hungry as she is to get out and start his life for real. She loves how when she says things like record a demo and bar in Indy, his future sounds close enough to touch, like maybe her own future’s not too far away either.

“Oh, that's kinda cool. What are the band guys like?” Steve asks. He hops up to perch on the counter in a way he definitely shouldn’t be, but it’s not like Robin’s going to rat him out to the Scoops Ahoy overlords.

She shrugs. “Quiet, I guess? Quieter than Eddie, anyway.” To be fair, she hasn’t spent a whole lot of time with them. She’s not a hundred percent sure she even remembers all their names. The impression she’s gotten is that they mostly just let Eddie boss them around because they don’t have anything better to do. They seem like basically okay people, but weirdly boring for being the crowd that Eddie spends the most time with aside from Robin. Even Steve is practically a gibbering eccentric in comparison.

Speaking of which—Steve’s eyes go wide at something behind Robin and he throws his arms in the air. “Henderson!” he yells, sounding happier than Robin’s maybe ever heard him. “He’s back!”

She’s not sure what she’s expecting to see when she turns around, but it’s not a curly-haired moppet grinning toothlessly at Steve and crowing, “I’m back!” She certainly isn’t expecting Steve to hop over the freaking counter and engage in some kind of elaborate handshake ritual complete with sound effects. The handshake goes on for a really, really long time.

It’s kind of hilarious seeing Steve act like a literal child, but that doesn’t mean Robin’s going to let him get away with this shit. Eddie would absolutely flip the fuck out if he were here to witness whatever this is.

“Exactly how many children are you friends with?” she drawls.

Steve just gives the moppet an exasperated look, gesturing to Robin like you see what I have to put up with?

“We’re gonna catch up, Robin. Can you handle the counter for a minute?”

Robin glances around at the total lack of mall denizens craving ice cream first thing in the morning. “I’ll try to survive the overwhelming pressure,” she says. “Don’t get into too much trouble, you wild and crazy kids.”

———

Gareth’s cousin’s roommate in Indianapolis is Eddie’s favorite person in the entire world, and the three numbskulls dithering over having one single solitary extended evening practice so they can actually record something worth hearing…well, they might be his least favorite people in the entire world right now.

“Hey!” he snaps. “Listen up, you goddamn malingering assholes. This, right here, is way more important than whatever you’re rushing home to jerk off to. This is our shot. This is our best chance at actually getting heard by someone who matters, someone who can get our stuff in front of other people.”

He prowls around, making eye contact with each one in turn. “I know you all wanna be rockstars. Well, gentlemen, this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where we get to see if we’re pathetic losers…or if we’ve got it in us to be heavy metal gods.”

Gareth’s the easiest to sway, Eddie can tell at a glance that he’s already hooked, but the other two still look hesitant.

Eddie isn’t completely delusional. Not about how this opportunity’s a long shot at best, and not about how none of the boys want it the way he does. None of them need it like he does. They’re smarter than he is, all of them, and they’re going places. Hell, Jeff’s already starting to look at colleges. His dad wants him to go somewhere in North Carolina, of all the damn states, and…yeah, he’s going places. Music isn’t the the beating heart of his world, the way it is for Eddie.

But there’s a reason they all came to Eddie in the first place: what they need is something to care about and somewhere to belong. If Eddie can just talk them into feeling like a part of this, getting swept up in all the hope and excitement, he just knows they’ll love it. They’ll look back on this as the best summer of their young lives, and he can make it all happen for them, for all of them, if they just fucking practice.

“Okay,” says Jeff. Fucking finally. “Sure. I guess we can stay late for the sake of being, you know…heavy metal gods.”

“That’s all I ask,” says Eddie. As he nods at Gareth to count them in, he sends a silent apology out to Robin and Steve, who must be almost closing up shop by now; they’ll understand that this was a way higher priority than Eddie swinging by to kill some time. It’s not like anything important ever really happens at Scoops Ahoy.

#fic: purify our misfit ways #I am disregarding stuff like the time of day that Dustin shows up bc I have zero dedication to canon #I've been rewatching the relevant bits of S3 and damn some of these storytelling choices do not spark joy #pls also note that both Robin and Eddie are unreliable narrators vis a vis the Corroded Coffin crew albeit to different extents #and that I am having a cool n fun time avoiding picking a name for the third CC minion #(and an unsarcastic cool n fun time writing Eddie's little hissy fit)#okay! this is probably the last snippet of Ch2 so that means EDIT TIME #I might not make a separate post for the AO3 upload so just subscribe on AO3 if you want to know when it finally goes up I guess

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mirrortouchedsea · 3 months

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HiMERU was fuming when he walked into the church. His brother was just sitting here this whole time, not even bothering to look for him or do anything useful? HiMERU needed to stay calm. His fists were clenched at his side. He walked up to Tatsumi Kazehaya and asked him if he had been keeping Kaname against his will, which was met with a negative response. Kaname had stayed of his own free will. I would never force someone to stay, Tatsumi said.

HiMERU stormed over to his brother seated in one of the pews next to Amagi’s younger brother and the other child he couldn’t be bothered to learn the name of and grabbed him by the wrist. Let’s go, there’s no reason for you to stay here. Kaname resisted, though HiMERU was stronger and continued walking out to where Rinne, Niki and Kohaku were sitting outside.

Onii-chan I can’t leave. That priest said he wasn’t forcing you to stay so we’re going. He isn’t but--onii-chan please just listen--

HiMERU took one step outside the chapel, Kaname’s hand breaching the doorway, still in his grasp. It suddenly felt…

He looked down and saw it begin to rot away.

I can’t leave, Onii-chan.

#shay writes #enstars #ensemble stars #kaname tojou #himeru #post apocalypse au #made myself work on one of my other fics before posting this one #kaokana fic is sitting at 12k words rn. worked on chapter 3 finally and i'm getting somewhere with it #did a little bit of editing on it too but i'm waiting to do any major edits til i feel the chapter is done #chapter 3 is sitting just shy of 1k words rn but i'm hoping to get another 2-3k in there before posting i'm just #going to have to outline it a bit more to figure out what i want to reveal when though i'm #quite happy with what i have right now for it #anyway more post apocalypse au!!!!!!#forgot to post this when i wrote it but it ended up with some minor changes so #its fine its fine its FINE #i seriously need to make a doc with everything for this au at some point

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bombusbombus · 6 months

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recoloured this old warmup to repost cause I had it on my mind.

If Clark is going to be in earth 19 (gotham by gaslight universe) (they're publishing more gbg and clark is going to be there), then listen to me listen to me, he needs to be a cowboy. Superman needs to be a cowboy in the big city. I am SOO serious about this. I am on my knees, DC, let me write for you, I would add so many themes about modern technology versus traditional knowledge and sprinkle in some anticolonialism PLEASE.

You could have a cute little Daily Planet that has to struggle against yellow journalism in a smoky little backroom & setting their own type, a la The Truth. You could have gentlemen's clubs. You could have a brutal war against unions in the streets and one lone titan of industry giving into their demands. You could have the exact same 3 batkids from the movie, there's literally nothing to improve on there. You could have Clark tear down a barbed wire fence with his bare hands, in a futile attempt to unravel colonialist ideas of private land ownership. Imagine the alien knows more about the earth, the real earth, than the knight in his city does. Imagine the American dream failing Clark, who has to go back east to the big city, failing Bruce, who lost his parents, failing everyone over and over until they decide to build something without it. In an era of rampant exploitation, what do real heroes look like?

Or you can make the justice league fight big steampunk robots ig I'm excited either way.

#all that to say ask me about the gotham by gaslight superbat friendship I've been thinking about for a LITERAL YEAR...#the original colouring on this was only the sort of ass you can achieve with a blue light filter at 2am #also I can hear you saying “why do your warmups usually look better than your final drawings Moose?”#(shh let me imagine I have a huge rapt audience)#well. I have aphantasia which makes it much harder to make things up than to draw from life #however my passion is cartooning. so I'm a little fucked #I also have a disability that sometimes makes me run a temperature when I overexert myself mentally #so drawing cartoons can make me run a literal fever #whereas drawing from life is more abt hand skill than brain skill so it doesn't fuck me up #but that's why I don't draw much anymore lol. Arranging people and items and background on a canvas is excruciating trial and error #but when you already have a pic the photographer has done some of that for you and you just need to collage preexisting images together #and once you have the elements of the picture then it's easy to retroactively construct a balanced tableau #tl:dr creativity is hard and makes CPU explode but editing is easy #that being said if a mutual wants me to draw an animal or something for them & gives me a reference I will drop everything to do it. dm me.#seriously I'm good w anything organic like plants or animals or horrible growths #hell if u do thumbnails I'll draw the full thing. I'll write w you. I fuckin love collaboration.#might be a bad writing partner though cause I'm neurotic as hell #.#I just remembered that Dan Garret was in earth 19 last time it was shown in a comic #no offense to all you dan-heads out there. but I think he should die.#cause I would be. obsessed. With 1890s Chicago cryptid Ted Kord #I think he should be 23 and terrible #the most steampunk guy around. Probably takes cocaine. Still a college student (gettin his fourth degree). Hasn't left his house in a month #not to mention futureboy Booster in his kevlar vest with his iphone named skeets

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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 months

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you will never believe how much tbz has taken over my world- I am actively finishing a new Hyungwon X Reader work- and my brain keeps going 'hehe younghoon' ... like babe- are we not working rn?...

#if you've followed my blog long enough- you'll know i've thought about writing for tbz before- but this may be the year i commit to the bit #you don't want to know how much tbz content i've consumed... it's a lot... i haven't went thru content like this in a vv long time #anyways!!!#this is supposed to be about hw- *do you see my problem here* i am vv close to publishing a new work~ inspired by kebbi's and i's #long conversation about him- and i just need to do some final edits to make sure it sounds good- and it'll be ready to publish #i'm actually excited for it to be out- i just need to sleep which is more important than finishing up the edits ehbbahbh so later #fanfic updates #this is borderline brainrot atp #kate rambles #kate's brain is actively rotting pls help 😭😭😭

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disdaidal · 8 months

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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.

Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:

I'm fine. Totally.

#personal #okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now #actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least #(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it #i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas #and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow #i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished #but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it #fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao #but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once #because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way #and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right #but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <

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lucalicatteart · 1 year

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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 14: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should relax by spending his afternoon shopping ..

He trots down the mossy cobblestone walkway, gazing around in awe as he approaches the central hub of the small city. Tiny shops and stalls and carts are woven through the few clusters of taller buildings, with a modest crowd bustling back and forth between them. Despite much of the land being cleared for structures and pathways, it's still lush with greenery wherever it can be, every blank stone wall or street corner dotted with trailing vines and flowering fruit trees.

After spending a good 25 minutes trying to orient himself at the city map directory, he finally finds his way onto one of the primary shopping streets, eager to spend the afternoon lazily strolling about, trying to ignore his physical aches and just take in all the sights as he hunts for interesting items....

...A few hours (and multiple snack breaks) later, the streets begin to glow with a hazy warmth as lanterns are lit, marking the nearing sunset. Possibly because of the fight yesterday, he's felt shakier, more easily startled than usual, and suddenly realizes an urgent need to be safely inside his room at the inn before nightfall. He wanted to stay out longer, see the lights and the crowds, fascinating scenes of city nightlife he's never been exposed to before.. but, his nerves are impossible to ignore.

Begrudgingly preparing to slink off towards the inn in a sweaty anxious panic, he stops in the doorway, resolving to at LEAST buy himself ONE nice item before he leaves. He doesn't have much money, sure, but it'd be a shame to simply look around all day and not get anything. All travelers need to collect their souvenirs, right? But.. What should he get?

Additional Information (feel free to skip this part, it's just extra context for people who are interested lol)

just for record (in case it influences what people think he should buy), this is the adventurer's current inventory contents:

small journal + pencil to document his travels (and a few colored pencils for sketching plants or doodling)

a basic travel guide booklet

a simple map of the area

a small glass lantern case you can put candles in

fire starting materials

basic matches

first aid kid (a few bandages, simple antibacterial balm, some dried herbs that can be used for minor issues like stomach aches or nausea)

one metal cup, one metal bowl/plate thing, one metal fork/spoon, a cooking knife, and one metal pot for cooking over the fire

a basic toiletry bag (toothbrush, herbal mixture toothpaste type thing, bar of soap, one towel, a rag, a few disposable paper napkins, moisturizing oil, hair brush, a tiny cracked mirror)

three bottles of various spice mixes for flavoring the plain/bland food he usually forages on the road (+ plain salt)

a glass jar of berries

a container of plain dried oats

a container of dried beans

half a loaf of stale bread

one carrot he found

a bag of dried fruit

about 15 coins (maybe equivalent to $45 USD in our world money lol)

a basic fishing kit (simple lures, hooks, string)

two containers of canned fish just as a back up in case he ever can't find fresher food for the cat

a cheesy fairytale romance novel about people going on a grand heroic journey, to help give him inspiration to continue on his own travels and be the ultimate Super Cool Adventurer Hero

an old folded up letter from his family

a fabric pouch of cool shiny rocks + other trinkets he's collected

one change of underwear, one change of socks, + winter gloves

foldable saw

some twine/string

a basic sewing kit (2 needles, one spool of thread, a thimble)

lawyer's business card (from boat party)

lawyer's fancy expensive giant scarf (also from party)

1 lunchbox of vegetable dumplings (from Innkeeper)

2 canteens of water

a small dagger for cutting rope, vines, multipurpose anything

a little tin of mint & rose flavored candies for when his mouth gets dry

a box of cubed dried chicken as cat treats

a box of fancy tea

one large rope

a roll of fabrics (one thick blanket for padding when sleeping on the ground, some basic tent fabric to make shelter from, a few spare fabric scraps, 2 cloth napkin/towel things, two cloth sacks for extra carrying capacity if needed)

1 pouch of dried meat

5 candles

Innkeeper's hand-drawn map to her brother's hideout

and of course, the Mysterious Egg in a little wooden box

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #poll #polls #choose your own adventure #Just a fun shopping day! what shall he get? :0 #Also the cat is riding on his head in the image but I picture more that the cat probably sits on his shoulder or just #follows him on the ground when he's walking around. probably shoulder is best in crowded areas so they #don't get separated. I just can't draw the cat on the shoulders because of the more like ''chibi'' art style. his head is so giant there's #no room for anything on his tiny shoulders that are covered up by his hair anyway lol #If I drew him in my own actual more realistically proportioned style then. maybe #I should do a ''normal'' drawing of him.#maybe like a a character sketch to show his outfit fully or something. But..eh #I finally made the writing shorter again. The past few days have been too long. but I'm working back towards like #3 paragraphs or less. Today is 4 but still.. better than some of the other days. Which those days I did also have to describe #more but still. I do these super super quickly so it's better for it to be shorter if it can be lol #the writing SEEMS longer since I did also include his entire inventory but jhjknk #I just LOVE thinknig about inventories. Part of the pictures I want to post on my main blog at some point if I ever finally #edit all of them is I gathered a few items from around the house and made little fake adventurer inventories #like just groups of things someone might carry around. This was months and months ago it just takes me THAT long to actually #find the time/energy to edit and post photos lol. But for whatever reason some of my favorite Unnecessary Details to fixate on #(and I LOVE fixating on small pointless details) is like.. what someone is carrying aroun with them. What they have in their bag #and why and what it says about them and what it looks like and the story behind it and where they got it and etc.#Of course his is pretty plain because he barely brought anything with him. but still lol.. I'm leaving his backstory up to interpretation #since he's kind of a character where most of the decisions are made by other people. so I'm not sure if he doesn't have much because #he used to be a poor farm boy or something. Or maybe he just was so overexcited to leave he forgot to pack enough. maybe he's just #bad a planning. maybe he's rich actually but his parents didnt want him to waste his time on adventuring so they didnt support him #or buy things for him and he had to scrap it together himself. etc. etc. Whatever the case. He has ENOUGH to be prepared #and to survive generally. but it's all very like. flimsy basic stuff. materials that tear easily. bent metal pot with dents in it. etc. lol #ANYWAY.. new poll adventure.. this one did take a little longer than I wanted but not as long as the last one. Trying to get back on track #I will hopefully have less dr's appointments in april. so.. aaaa

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butch-lionblaze · 1 month

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I tried to draw but kept getting stuck on a specific image of how Hollystar would end, in this version of TBC the dream chapter instead being hers. I think if I actually was writing it in line with what I think her death would be it would be a lot more sharp and clear that she brought herself to this but I wanted some peace sooooooo that’s what this is

It felt like falling into the river rapids, is all Holly could think as it washes over everything. Every wound, old and new, now being caressed in a way that made her both wince and lean in further. A rough mother’s tongue. Of course her mind would twist back around to mothers. A thought that usually wrestled her from any sort of relaxation simply went with the water. Down down down in the endless current. What drove this stream to be so steady? What secret force lies within it? She could wonder for hours on the secret fuel to the way of the world but it again went right out her other ear. A distinct itch made her twitch, that of power she perceived being lost from her, but it too went away too quickly.

Was this peace? Was she dead? So many times Hollyle- Hollystar. Hollystar had believed her time had come upon her. Her final breaths left her. But it never was. Her heart always brought her right back to this crumbling place. She wished she was still Hollypaw. And Hollykit. When it was all clear cut and open doors. Now she’d shut so many she felt like she was suffocating. Maybe that was the water now breaching into her lungs. It didn’t bother her. Contemplation wasn’t something she had ever found comfort in. Yet in what she believed to be the end’s embrace it was kind. Too kind for a cat like her. She wouldn’t go to an above, Hollystar knows that. Not even this waterway could wash away the blood that clung to her. Despite her having caused so much more damage since him she always first thought of Ashfur when it came to her place in the after. He didn’t get this kind of mercy. She had made it long and painful. Ever since that lightless night she felt his death in everything. His thrashing in the hare that didn’t go down with the first bite, his panic in the bird caught in her claws, his eventual death in the cold body of Berrynose who also bled on her black paws. How many had she killed with her own claws? She didn’t want to continue that thought. And so the stream took the weight from her shoulders, and in turn she opened her mouth open to let it in further. If it could take away her pains then it could take her away.

Hope wasn’t something Hollystar had anymore. She hoped now though. She hoped this really was her last breaths. She hoped the world she left behind would recover. She hoped for her stain to be scrubbed away by the rain. She hoped she didn’t last around for long.

Wishing wasn’t something Hollystar ever had. She was told wishing was for the ones who couldn’t get what they wanted themselves. The cat that told her that originally also met his end to her beginning. It was similarly dragged out and horrible, but haunted her less when it wasn’t so much her fault. Now she wished he never died and left her to live. He never could take the blame. And she never could stick it to him.

Hollyleaf didn’t notice she was drowning. Her brain so swamped with thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. For once fate would give her what she wanted. For once one of her prayers would be answered.

Her final dream was the last shard of all she was. Found by a broken brother. The key to bringing back what she broke. This wouldn’t ever make up for what she did. All that she had done. But it was what she could do for them.

In her explosive end, at the center of the black hole she had become, was a little kit with one big wish. A wish for a world where she didn’t exist, and no more cats like her would be able to abuse the powers entrusted in them to protect. The greed would be cut as buds, wounds patched up, infections never left to fester. Never more would one so small handle so much. She would be the last star on earth.

One last gasp before Mother Earth returned her to where she was supposed to stay.

#I’m not a dialogue writer. this is mostly practice #but I do kinda like the feel of it even if it’s not exactly how I should be #in actuality it should be just as she’s speared and implodes but uhhhhhh I got stuck on the idea of her drifting into astream #also changed some things.#instead of Bristlefrost killing her it’s gonna be Lionblaze. They both die in the end and Jayfeather delivers the final dream before he also #dies. finally fullfiling her last wish #(the hope and wish idea is a sorts draw back to both their moms super editions too hehe)#Hollyleaf #wc au #warrior cats au #au drabble #au writing #tbc #the broken code #tbc au #my wc aus

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