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nqctar · 2 years

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maybe it's not our fault.

pairing: jung sungchan ୨୧ osaki shotaro / sungtaro genre: heavy angst, no happy ending. inspired by: it's not our fault by yerin baek. warnings: no major warnings apply

synopsis: sungchan and shotaro have come to realize the spark in their relationship has dissipated, the love they once had for each other is now nothing but a memory that lives on through pictures and handwritten love letters, the burning recollections of quiet nights and lazy days spent laying in bed together serve as a reminder of what once was.

but maybe, it isn't their fault.

word count: 1802 words

Shotaro can't remember the last time they said "I love you,” to each other. He can't remember the last time they held hands, the last time they kissed, or even hugged.

There was nothing between them anymore, just a hollow reminder that the house they lived in together was once full of love. Things aren't like that anymore, though. Recently, Shotaro has noticed the distance growing between Sungchan and him, every day making said distance bigger and bigger.

Sungchan stays out later than usual and comes home without kissing Shotaro before going to bed. He tiptoes around him if they're in the kitchen together and disappears into their formerly shared bedroom without a word.

Formerly shared, because Shotaro hasn't slept in the same bedroom as Sungchan in almost a month. Sungchan was almost like a roommate to him now, just someone to help him pay the rent and stock the fridge. Yet if Renjun or Donghyuck were to ask how they were doing, they'd smile and tell them that everything is okay.

Nothing is okay, and Shotaro isn't sure why they're pretending it is.

His boyfriend doesn't look at him with love anymore.

Shotaro thought about anything he could've done to upset Sungchan and came up with absolutely nothing. Because truth be told, neither of them caused this crack in their relationship, but the true culprit here is time.

Time is a bitch. Time has stolen the love Sungchan once had for Shotaro and will not give it back. Shotaro doesn't want to fight it, because if what they had is over, he'd rather let it die than drag it along anymore.

And today is the day he's letting it be known that the white flag is being waved.

He spends time packing his things, eyes welling with tears as the gifts Sungchan gave him fill up space in his bag and ultimately, his heart.

Every tear he's been holding in rushes out like a damaged floodwall as he sees the bear Sungchan got him on their very first date. The bear was named Navillera or "Like a butterfly." in Korean. Sungchan had told Shotaro that he thought he danced like a butterfly, that was how things started between them.

The Korean word for butterfly, Nabi, quickly became a nickname only Sungchan could use for Shotaro, but it was the first thing he stopped saying at the beginning of their end. Yet somehow, that hurt more than the disappearance of "I love you."

Shotaro clutched the bear to his chest until he stopped crying and then placed it on the bed. He couldn't keep it with him if he was going to move on from their now empty relationship. It hurt him to leave the bear as much as it was going to hurt leaving their love behind.

He finished packing his things and noticed a framed picture he and Sungchan had taken together at a theme park. It was their fourth or fifth date by then, and Sungchan had completely opened up to Shotaro. He was so lively back then, so full of love and utter joy. That Sungchan was different from the Sungchan he was living with now.

It was time for him to leave everything in the past.

And he'd be lying if he were to say he was still madly in love with Sungchan. That was far from the truth. It was painful for him to admit to himself, but there was nothing he could do.

He turned the picture over on its side so that he didn't have to look at it anymore, he didn't have the strength to do so, and walked into the living room.

He takes a quick glance over at Sungchan, who is sitting on the sofa and paying him absolutely no mind. Here goes nothing, he thinks and catches his attention by clearing his throat.

"Sungchan, we need to talk." Sungchan's body freezes as if someone had just pulled a knife on him, and suddenly the tension in the room is thick enough to slice. Sungchan turns the tv off and walks over to Shotaro slowly, standing in front of him.

"Is there something wrong?" Shotaro furrows his eyebrows at him because Sungchan obviously knows what's going on and is too afraid to admit it. Shotaro feels anger towards him for a split second, because this breakup is not one-sided and Sungchan knows that.

"Please don't act like you don't know what this is about." He says.

"I really don't." "Fuck, Sungchan, you don't even look at me anymore. You don't— you don't even say that you love me like you used to." And with that, Sungchan's body language changes completely. Shotaro assumes he's done playing dumb and is ready to face this mutually.

"God, Shotaro I'm so sorry. I've been dragging you along this entire time haven't I?" He places his hands down on the head of the sofa and takes deep breaths for a moment. Shotaro lets him, it's something he's always done to calm his anxiety. Shotaro feels bad for inducing it but knows this is something they would have to do one way or another.

"I've been leaving you in the dark and I don't even know the reason why." Shotaro doesn't know why he stopped putting his all into the relationship either. There was no bad blood, no unspoken argument that went over his head. There was absolutely nothing either of them did to cause this.

"I don't think that this is our fault," Shotaro says quietly, whispered, but it sends ripples of waves through the room. That sentence alone gives them both the clarity they've been desperately searching for.

It was the unspoken truth, this permanent lull in their relationship is only a victim of time, not of their own doing.

Shotaro's heart breaks into a million pieces as Sungchan wipes the tears from his eyes.

"What are you— what are you suggesting we do about it, then?" Here comes the hard part. All Shotaro has to do is say those words. Those words have been making a nest inside of him.

His mind bounces between their first date, that fucking bear, and any other happy moment they shared together. The words catch in his throat, and suddenly he can't speak. He stares at Sungchan, hoping that he'll deliver the final blow for him.

"Are you saying we should break up? I promise you there are other ways we can work through this." He begins speaking faster like he's trying to catch up to something. Like his words now are trying to make up for the three months of radio silence.

"We don't have to lose each other." His voice cracks at the end, another piece of Shotaro's heart breaks, and now they're both crying.

"Sungchan, when was the last time you said that you loved me? Or called me Nabi? When was the last time we even kissed?” Sungchan doesn't speak. He remains silent and stares at the floor.

When he does speak, it only confirms what Shotaro had said moments ago, that this was not anyone's fault.

"You weren't the only one who felt lonely, Shotaro. I waited for you to come back to our bed every night. I didn't bring it up because I wanted you to come back on your own terms." Sungchan's hands are in fists at his side, nails digging into his skin as he fights back his tears.

"I didn't want you to think I was forcing anything. I didn't want you to feel like we had to be together." Sungchan says with a low voice. They're almost whispering to each other as if they're trying to hide from something. Themselves, maybe. Shotaro couldn't figure it out.

"As I said, this isn't our fault. We didn't drag around our dead relationship on purpose. I think we fell out of love," It's Shotaro's turn to fight back tears now, "and we’re too afraid to admit it." Sungchan looks up at Shotaro through teary eyes and doesn't stop staring until they're making eye contact with each other.

"Then I think we should break up." "If this isn't our fault, let's quit while we're ahead." Shotaro physically can't stand anymore and sits down on the hard wooden floor. He places his head in his hands and lets out the sobs he's been holding in for those lonely three months. He never let himself cry until now. For a while he blamed himself for their rough patch.

It wasn't his fault and it wasn't Sungchan's either. He knows that now. He knows that people can simply fall out of love with each other over time, but he wishes he had learned that sooner. Before he met Sungchan, even.

Sungchan doesn't make any effort to comfort him while he cries. He sits down on the floor across from him and stares at the area near him, he once again can't bring himself to look at Shotaro. For a while, the only noise taking up the space around them is Shotaro's crying, but Sungchan speaks up and does his best to talk without another voice crack as he holds back his river of tears.

"I don't want to lose you, Shotaro. I am so incredibly sorry that I've been dragging you along." Shotaro waves a hand in a "don't say anything else." type of way. Sungchan's words are only adding fuel to the fire.

"It’s not our fault, at all." Shotaro lifts himself up off of the floor and Sungchan follows, the two face to face with each other now.

"I don't want you to think that you alone caused this, Sungchan. I don't want us to think either of us caused this. We fell out of love with each other, and though it hurts to admit that, it's the truth." "I loved loving you while I had the chance. Those two years we had together will always stick with me no matter how hard I try to push them away." Shotaro takes Sungchan's hand in his and squeezes it tight.

It's the first time they've held hands in months.

"You deserve someone who will love you even more than I ever did. Someone who will give you the universe instead of the world. I hope you find them soon." Shotaro picks up his bag and ignores the abundance of quiet please stays & don't go's coming from Sungchan as he walks out of their formerly shared home. At exactly 12:15 pm that day, their love ceased to exist.

A part of Shotaro went with it.

A large part.

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sakurajjam · 1 year

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Pode sugerir fcs coreanas entre 1995-1999? Quero fazer uma muse coreana, mas não conheço tantas fcs assim.

Claro que posso sugerir, pompurin! A lista ficou gigante, então vou deixar depois do cut, temos 150 mocinhas que são conhecidas e "desconhecidas", mas são todas lindas e merecem uma chance! Muitas contam com uma gama de fotos, enquanto outras não, mas espero que encontre uma que agrade.

1995

Kim Jisoo, Blackpink

Kim Jiyeon (Kei), Lovelyz

Kim Mihyun (Mimi), Oh My Girl

Park Junghwa, EXID

Jung Dasol (Yiyeon), BVNDIT

Ki Huihyeon, DIA

Choi Heejae (Heeyu), MIXX

Lee Jooeun (Jueun), DIA

Han Haebin, Gugudan

Kim Jiyeon (Bona), Cosmic Girls

Ahn Jiyoung, Bolbbalgan4

Yoo Siah (Yooa), Oh My Girl

Im Nayeon, Twice

Kwon Eunbi, Solo e IZ*ONE

Lee Siyeon, Dreamcatcher

Oh Seunghee, CLC

Chu Sojung (Exy), Cosmic Girls

Kim Nayoung, Gugudan

Kim Minju (Seoyeon), Favorite

Kim Yechan, Pink Fantasy

Kim Sojung (Sowon), Gfriend

Im Nayoung, Pristin

1996

Park Haeyoon, Cherry Bullet

Lee Hyebin, MOMOLAND

Kim Jennie, Blackpink

Hyun Seunghee, Oh My Girl

Kim Chungha, solista (ex-I.O.I)

Nim Daewang, Pink Fantasy

Park Myungeun (Jin), Lovelyz

Oh Hayoung, Apink

Lee Dabin (Yeonwoo), ex-MOMOLAND

Choi Yujin, CLC e Kep1er

Jung Yerin, Gfriend

Jeon Somin, KARD

Kim Sejeong, Gugudan

Hwang Woolim, Playback

Park Sooyoung (Joy), Red Velvet

Park Soobin, Cosmic Girls

Jeon Jiwoo, KARD

Im Soeun (NC.A), UNI.T

Yoo Jeongyeon, Twice

Jang Seungyeon, CLC

Jang Sojin (Soyee), Gugudan

Lee Dawon, ARIAZ

Kim Seri (AleXa), solista

1997

Kim Yoohyeon, Dreamcatcher

Lee Saerom, Fromis_9

Jo Miyeon, (G)I-dle

Park Jisoo (Jihyo), Twice

Roseanne Park (Rosé), Blackpink

Lee Yoojeong (Haru), Ho1iday

Choi Yuju, Cherry Bullet

Lee Luda, Cosmic Girls

Lee Yoobin (Dami), Dreamcatcher

Nam Dawon, Cosmic Girls

Kim Songsun, TRI.BE

Kim Hyebin, AREAL

Choi Moonhee, Bonus Baby

Ji Suyeon, Weki Meki

Ma Eunji, Playback

Oh Hyesoo (Lina), RedSquare

Ha Sooyoung (Yves), LOONA

Jung Eunbi (Eunha), VIVIZ/GFriend

Choi Yoonsun (New Sun), Sonamoo

Kim Chaewon (Woo-ah), CRAXY

Baek Yerin, 15&

Song Yeonjoo, P.O.P

Park Jimin (Jamie), 15&

Baek Yebin, DIA

Oh Sejin (Lina), ANS

Kim Minkyung (Roa), Hinapia (e ex-Pristin)

Kim Eunji (EJ), ALICE

Jo Haseul, LOONA

Ahn Solbin, LABOUM

Bae Yubin, Oh My Girl

Song Hayoung, Fromis_9

Choi Yuna (Yuju), GFriend

Kang Kyungwon (Yuha), Hinapia

Kim Chaewon, APRIL

Yoo Jiyeon (U-Si), BADKIZ

Ryu Sujeong, Lovelyz

Seo Yuri (Seoyul), Berry Good

Jung Chaeyeon, DIA (ex-I.O.I)

Im Hayoung (Lu), NATURE

Sung Jiyeon (Jane), MOMOLAND

Jang Gyuri, ex-Fromis_9

Son Hyunmi (Mia), MIXX

1998

Park Jinhee (Jinny), Secret Number

Jeon Eunji (Danny), Ho1iday

Lee Hyunjoo, UNI.T

Lee Yeji (J), ANS

Jeon Hyunjoo (Royeon), ANS

Kim Hyunjung (Daye), Berry Good

Seo Soojin, ex-(G)I-dle

Park Jiwon, Fromis_9

Lee Suji, UNI.T

Park Jiwon (E:U), EVERGLOW

Son Juyeon (Eunseo), Cosmic Girls

Kim Dahyun, Twice

Hwang Eunbi (SinB), VIVIZ/GFriend

Jeong Yein, Lovelyz

Jeong Eunwoo, Hinapia/ex-Pristin

Lim Hyosun, H.U.B.

Maeng Chaesol, Cignature

Jung Haerim (Elly), Weki Meki

Kim Nayun, MOMOLAND

Jang Yeeun, CLC

Kim Yewon (Umji), VIVIZ/GFriend

Jeon Soyeon, (G)I-dle

Kim Hyungseo (Bibi), solista

Kang Yebin (Rena), Hinapia e ex-Pristin

Yoon Songhee, BVNDIT

Roh Jisun, Fromis_9

1999

Lee Jinsook (Yeoreum), Cosmic Girls

Yoo Jeongahn (Daisy), ex-MOMOLAND

Lee Gahyeon, Dreamcatcher

Kim Jungeun (Kim Lip), ex-LOONA e ARTMS

Lee Yoona (Keina), H.U.B

Kim Yewon (Yehana), Pristin

Kim Bora, Cherry Bullet

Kim Yerim (Yeri), Red Velvet

Park Minji, Secret Number

Kim Jiwon (Jeewon), Cignature

Uhm Jungwoo, BVNDIT

Kim Seokyung, GWSN

Im Dayoung, Cosmic Girls

Bae Sungyeon, Pristin

Kwon Chaewon (Eunchae), DIA

Lee Simyeong, BVNDIT

Choi Yewon (Arin), Oh My Girl

Kang Hyewon, IZ*ONE

Kim Sohye, solista

Choi Yoobin (Chaebin), NATURE

Yu Yeonjung, Cosmic Girls

Kim Sihyeon, EVERGLOW

Lee Joowon (Joo E), MOMOLAND

Na Goeun, Purple Kiss

Choi Yeori, ARIAZ

Moon Sua, Billie

Lee Ahin, MOMOLAND

Choi Yena, IZ*ONE e solista

Son Eunchae, bugAboo

Kim Jiwoo (Chuu), ex-LOONA e solista

Lee Chaelin, FANATICS

Choi Euijeong (Boni), Dreamnote

Lee Yukyung, ALICE

Lee Soodam, Secret Number

Choi Yoojung, Weki Meki

Kang Mina, Gugudan

Kim Doyeon, Weki Meki

#♡ · ✉️ : respondidas #( rinn a poderosa chefinha )#♡ · 🖼 : fc help #fc help #korean fc

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