#july soul symbol
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Love my soul symbol!🔥
What’s yours?
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web of wyrd: the left most number, your mask / public energy
wyrd (pronounced weird) is a germanic word that is associated with fate - so this is is not just "wyrd" - it's also uncannily your fate or destiny. this seems to be the new thing, so i too want to step in because the numbers are associated to the major arcana of tarot and i do read tarot sooooo - if the shoe fits wear it!
we are going to go number by number together - we are going to learn together!
click here to calculate yours!
today i want to address the left most number.
this is my wyrd web. so it is based on my birthdate (27.10.2000 - october 27th, 2000).
the number we are focusing on today is based on the DAY you were born.
if you were born july 4th - it would be 4. if you were born april 22nd - it was be 22. but any date after the 22nd (i.e. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, etc) needs to be summed together (my birthday for example: 27 -> 2 + 7 = 9 (the number in my left most bubble))!
but what does this number mean?
this number represents how others see you. not necessarily how you see you, but how the public perceives you. this is your face (or mask - aka persona) that you intentionally or unintentionally present to the world! there at evolved (higher vibrations of the major arcana card or the upright) and un-evolved (lower vibrations of the major arcana card or the reversal) numbers.
so let's talk about some examples:
9 - the hermit
rider waite smith illustrated the hermit (the card that symbolizes virgo) as a wise, old man dressed in gray. he holds his walking stick (possibly alluding to the suit of wands (the symbol of fire / fire signs, passion, creativity, ambition, and action)) to his head (if it is the suit of wands than this indicates an individual with a creative, passionate mind who has used their ambition to discover more about themselves). he holds a lit lantern towards the left side of the card (the past) and faces that direction as well (indicating that knows himself well as the lantern is shining a light on his past).
evolved 9s explore / learn from their inner realm and work through their past instead of dwelling in it. these people appear as wise and self-knowing. they set boundaries with those around them in a mindful manner. they know when to take a break and recharge in a social setting as most tend to be introverts. they do a lot of soul searching as to what they are and are not comfortable with and express these things to those around them - they do the inner work or "shadow work" necessary to living a full and happy life.
un-evolved 9s may not recognize the difference between alone and lonely or even solitude and alone. they often fear being alone (they may not wish to learn who they are as an individual) and don't know how to take a moment when they need it. they snap or become to critical of those around them in these circumstances - ironically they are critical of everyone around them but haven't taken the time to critically examine themselves. they may conversely isolate from those around them despite longing for support and connections with others. they may fear getting to know who they themselves are.
20 - judgement
rider waite smith illustrated judgement (the card associated with pluto) as an angel facing the viewer (this is a confrontational, present-oriented card) from a clouded sky blowing (air motif) a trumpet as people emerge from their caskets to face the angel (their backs face the viewer meaning to show vulnerability). these nude people (natural and comfortably exposed) are freeing themselves from a previously uncomfortable, cramped situation in order to see and hear the heralding angel. these people are reaching arms open wide ready to receive the angel - this is a card associated with a spiritual awakening.
evolved 20s no longer judge themselves too severely; they are comfortable with their bodies and accepting of their previous actions, choices, and experiences. they too are ready to leave the previous confines of their past (as the nude people do in the card imagery). they welcome new experiences and the future with excitement and glee. they are on a high frequency as they recognize their higher calling. they receive frequent communication and confirm from the universe / their spirit team. they let go of the past to embrace the future.
un-evolved 20s experience the same things over and over again. they struggle to get out of loops/patterns as they struggle to learn the important lessons that life wishes them to. they judge themselves harshly and are extremely critical of the work they do. they cling to what they know though they feel trapped/oppressed in their present circumstances. they don't notice the signs they are receiving from the world around them. they fear change and growth.
22 - the fool
there is no 0 card in the wyrd web as there is in tarot, so the fool takes on the 22nd number manifestation in the web even though it is the 1st card of the major arcana. rider waite smith illustrated the fool (the card associated with uranus) as a young man wearing a boldly patterned outfit. the young man parallels the hermit as the mountain range featured in the hermit card appears in the background of the fool card and the fool carries a stick (read the description of the walking stick in the "9 - the hermit" section above). on his stick is a small bundle likely filled with his essentials to life so he is prepared to start a journey... right off the edge of the cliff. also present in the card is the sun (enthusiasm and clarity) on the right (the future), a white rose (innocence and free) held off to the right along with his bundle, and a small white dog (the dog is prancing meaning to signal him of the cliff edge thus is a symbol of intuition) at his feet. the fool faces the left thus he has to first explore what is in his past (hermit energy), before leaping into his future, where all the fortunate elements lie (the bundle (worldly possessions), the flower (innocence and freedom), the dog (intuition), and the sun (positivity and clarity).
evolved 22s are always ready to explore the world around them - be it via their physical, spiritual, mental, and/or emotional realm. they trust they are on the right path and trust in the universe to not steer them wrong as they explore. they enjoy taking risks and taking big leaps - they do not fear "obstacles" or "setbacks". these are mere lessons to learn and experiences to gain. they are in tune with their guides and listen to those with messages as they consciously make their own path and explore it mindfully.
un-evolved 22s haphazardly take risks or are too afraid to take any - without risk they gain no reward, they feel stagnant in their journey. they fear change and hesitate when step even toeing the line out of their comfort zone. they make plans but never execute them. obstacles are treated as life inconveniences. they are often too afraid to experience life or explore the world around them - they often stick to what they know and remained tied to their past.
that's all for today! the next number we will be looking at is that top most number, your higher self.
like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next! if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.
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#web of wyrd#matrix of fate#matrix of destiny#intuitive readings#intuitive#intuition#numerology#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarotscope#tarot cards#tarotcommunity#tarotblr#free tarot#tarot witch#tarot#hermit#judgement#the fool
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August Reading List
(Two of these were read in late July but I felt the need to include them. I primarily read what I'm tagged in. If you'd like me to read something you're proud of, please tag me!)
@zablife
Windflowers: A beautifully written fic with lots of symbolism and a hopeful, if not dark, tone.
Nothings Going To Hurt You: A little sweet, a little anxious, and a lot of comfort. Atmospheric and touching.
The Changretta Calls: 1, 2, My Sun, My Moon, and All My Stars, and 3, and, lastly, My Sun, My Moon, and All My Stars part 2: My God, what a wild ride. Dark, grungy, and a real treat to read, this truly is a testament to Lee's writing prowess.
@runnning-outof-time
The Woman On the Boat and What It's Like To Feel: Absolutely an emotional rollercoaster, with a protagonist that's easy to root for and an ending that's both swoon-worthy and sweet.
Back to Her: A twisty, complex story with a satisfying conclusion.
A Much Welcomed Distraction: Short, cute, and flirty! Super easy read and a pick-me-up on a bad day.
@emotionalcadaver
Barren and Lady of The Various Sorrows: A heartbreaking piece that shows the complexities of a difficult situation. (I would write more, but I don't want to spoil it!)
@cillmequick
Night Shift: Lyrical and beautifully descriptive, this fic is a glimpse into a deeper, touching relationship.
Disobedience, Aftermath, and Wildflower Girl: Short, easy to read, but packing a grief-filled punch, this ultimately hopeful miniseries is worth the read. I binge-read it in about 15 minutes.
@weaponizedvirtue
The Face I Hide Behind, The Face I Hide Behind 2: If you're looking for spectacular writing, unique and completely fresh ideas, and the perfect portrayal of a strong, war-wrought relationship, this is the fic for you. Quiet moments of intimacy are written with a subtle, skilled hand in this series.
@moral-terpitude
The Farrier's Son, The Farrier's Son 2: Well-written and a complete standout when it comes to miniseries, this Tommy x Male!Reader is one of my favorite fics.
@look-at-the-soul
Save Yourself: A brilliantly and powerfully written oneshot with loads of angst and an ending that'll fill you with a myriad of emotions.
#tommy shelby#peaky blinders#tommy shelby x reader#thomas shelby#peaky blinders imagine#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders x reader#thomas shelby x reader#tommy shelby fanfic#peaky blinder imagine#thomas shelby angst#thomas shelby imagine#thomas shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders fic#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fanfiction
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[2024.02.29] Yuzuru Hanyu, World Figure Skating magazine 100th issue - March
Now, as a famous figure skater, what range does he aim for as a performer? A long interview with Yuzuru Hanyu who just finished his "RE_PRAY" Saga performance!
Yuzuru Hanyu, a figure skater who has won two consecutive Olympic Games championships and achieved a Super Grand Slam has achieved many great achievements. In July 2022, Hanyu held a press conference to express his decision to retire from competition and enter his professional career. Since then, he has successively held solo performances in which he skated the entire show, the first Tokyo Dome performance in the history of figure skating, a performance full of requiem and prayer, and his first tour, showing the world his versatile and active figure. The figure skating performance that Hanyu puts his soul into is opening up a new dimension of figure skating with specifications that far exceed expectations. Yuzuru Hanyu, who continues to challenge himself as an athlete, once again talked about his sincere thoughts on figure skating.
[My mission as a figure skater]
Q: On the occasion of the 100th issue of "World Figure Skating" magazine, we are very honoured to invite Yuzuru Hanyu for an interview. This magazine was founded in December 1999, and Hanyu probably started his figure skating journey at the same time.
Hanyu: I started skating around 1999. I started skating when I was 4 years old, around the summer of 1999. Wow~I miss it so much! I have the first issue of this series of magazine. The cover at that time was Michelle Kwan, and the back cover was Yagudin. I miss that Piano costume (of Yagudin's) very much. And (after turning the page) wow ~ Plushenko! I loved figure skating at that time. Oh, and Timothy (Goebel).
Q: That was when you first started skating. What did you like about the skaters of that era?
Hanyu: The players at that time had very distinct personalities. Although I like figure skating very much, when I was a child, I only watched the athletes (performances) that I really liked and was interested in, so at that time I only watched Plushenko, Yagudin, Honda (Takeshi), and occasionally Timothy. In a sense, I just look at the figure skaters that I like. The top players of that generation all have their own unique personalities that make them shine. Although they all have their own unique characteristics, they have different styles, different ways of expression, and extremely outstanding personalities. In this sense, I still like that era very much. That is also the generation I admire most.
Q: I see.
Hanyu: I first started getting into figure skating, not because I had a figure skater that I admired and thought, “I want to be like that,” but because I just wanted to follow my sister and do the same thing as her, so from a certain point of view, my initial contact was not with figure skating. But when I watched the Olympics, those athletes made me think for the first time, "I want to be like that." Although their personalities are very strong, they are not offensive and they are really skating in their own pure way.
Q: What started out as a pure dream has led you to revolutionize the sport of figure skating.
Hanyu: No, no, no.
Q: In the meantime, you continue to be at the forefront of figure skating. First of all, please allow me to ask you about the "notte stellata" performance held in March. It can be said that Hanyu has been a symbol of revival after the Great East Japan Earthquake, but this year, due to the Noto Peninsula earthquake that occurred at the beginning of the year, I think this performance will become even more meaningful.
Hanyu: Please allow me to express my condolences to the victims. Although I have lived for 29 years, in recent days, I have once again realized that Japan is a place that frequently encounter disasters. There are many natural disasters in Japan. In addition to earthquakes, there are also many natural disasters such as heavy rains. This is probably the fate of living in Japan. However, this also made me feel again that injecting prayers for various natural disasters into my figure skating and skating with full prayers is probably my mission in this era.
Q: Hanyu’s love for his hometown, Tohoku, really runs through most of your figure skating career.
Hanyu: I think many people living in Japan have personally experienced the tremors of the Great East Japan Earthquake, but I myself did not witness the tsunami. I have also thought about what position I should stand in relation to this disaster. Even so, I continued to figure skate. When I was sixteen or seventeen years old, especially during the season after the Great East Japan Earthquake, I attracted everyone's attention. Since then, I have been conveying a lot of information including my experience in the disaster. In this process, Yuzuru Hanyu and the Great East Japan Earthquake gradually became inseparable. So, both in my competitive life and in my current professional activities, I feel like I have to keep that earthquake in my mind. The experience of that earthquake is central to my life experience. For example, when I won a gold medal or achieved good results, the first thing that came to my mind was the smiles of people in my hometown. I know that I have contributed my own strength to my hometown. Therefore, including "notte stellata", I want to continue to do various activities through skating (to continue to contribute).
[Why "ICE STORY"]
Q: Since turning professional, you held your first solo ice performance "Prologue" from November to December 2022, and then held the Tokyo Dome performance "GIFT" in February 2023, and will hold the "RE_PRAY" tour as the second part of ICE STORY from the autumn of 2023. Can you tell us why you want to present figure skating in the form of a story?
Hanyu: When I was skating as a kid, I wanted to tell stories in the show. And I also like to create and imagine stories. Everything originates from this. If a program can present a story, will everyone see any difference in the various elements presented in the program? This has always been the core of what I want to express. How to describe this - during the competitive period, I will get an objective result after the game. But there are exceptions, such as the 2014 Cup of China. It was because of that collision that the "Phantom of the Opera" was created at that time, and it was also because of that the “Phantom of the Opera” in the Grand Prix Finals was created. The story that I felt through the program became completely different. The story of the program itself has not changed much, but from the viewer's perspective, with the superposition of various factors, the program looks and feels completely different. This is what I felt inside when skating this program. I've created a lot of programs so far, but if I packed them all into one big story now, I think it would look completely different. During the competitive period, I would get results, reported by various media and other additional circumstances, but this time I want to tell a bigger story so that everyone can see different ways of life and gain different insights through the programs. This is my original intention of creating ICE STORY.
Q: Is this affected by the transition from a competitive player to a professional player?
Hanyu: As I transitioned from a competitive skater to a professional skater, the position of figure skating in my heart has also changed a lot. During my competitive days, I started out thinking about winning for myself. My motivation also comes from the fact that if I can skate well, people around me will be happy about it. I think it may be this sense of accomplishment and the joy of receiving praise that keeps me motivated and engaged in figure skating to this day. Later, due to experiences such as earthquakes, I no longer only wanted to win for myself, but also began to want to win for other people. Now that I have left the competitive scene and become a professional skater, winning or losing itself no longer exists. I think in my mind, figure skating has become "wanting to do something for others." I hope my figure skating can become a part of everyone's life. On the basis of presenting figure skating like this, I hope to convey certain information to everyone more concretely in the story.
Q: So, is this a story about Yuzuru Hanyu?
Hanyu: No, no, no, there are all kinds of lives, and we exist in all kinds of life. If we want to write, each of our lives can be written into a story. Everyone will be moved by various stories, and also feel sad and painful for them. Under such circumstances, I have distilled and presented a large part of figure skating like this. I think "Yuzuru Hanyu's story" exists in each of you to some extent. So, from everyone’s perspective, the perception of my show will also change. But I actually do not just want to present my own story, because everyone has their own story in their life. I want to be a small piece in everyone's life story. I often think so.
[Study body language to present new expressions]
Q: In order to present new expressions, you are currently expanding your expression methods through new body language such as dance, imaging technology, and writing scripts in your own words. Do you think your figure skating has undergone a qualitative change as a result?
Hanyu: I originally thought that by creating an ice performance with the specifications of "GIFT", I had already expressed everything I wanted to express, but I had to create "RE_PRAY" immediately. I really tried my best to do what I could. Everything that I know was used. (Laughs) That’s why I have to learn more.
For myself, I want to create more words, show more areas of dance, and broaden the range of my movements. And I think in order for professionals in every field to think that I'm doing a good job at this, I have to keep working hard.
I am currently struggling with my lack of knowledge when it comes to technique in dance and performance. I think I hit the wall more often than people think. In terms of expressing and presenting through words, I am not a liberal arts major, and my major in university was not written language. When it comes to dance, I have not always studied ballet or hip-hop. Everything I try is my own style, but I want to work hard for it and stand on the stage as a professional.
As a professional figure skater, I have the performance skills, mentality and expertise that I have developed over the past 25 years. I wanted to apply these and connect them to discourse and dance. At present, I am in a state of exploration. I have explored a lot, but I cannot integrate these explorations into words. My brain is about to explode. I am currently in a state of being exposed to all kinds of new things and trying to absorb them.
Q: We are deeply impressed by your production integration capabilities in "RE_PRAY" stage art. The "save data is damaged" at the end of the first half is really shocking, and how the story is unfolded from there. This kind of narrative ability really seems to be from the hands of a professional screenwriter.
Hanyu: You're welcome, that part is very dark, right? (laughs)
Q: If you receive an invitation to make a movie, would you be interested?
Hanyu: No, I don’t think so. I don’t think so at all (laughs). For me, everything I do is for figure skating. I want to learn various things for figure skating, and I think it will help deepen my figure skating. Whether it is writing scripts or creating and organising, I need to master more expression skills and learn more things.
Q: I think coming up with ideas is also a challenge. "RE_PRAY" is based on the theme of the game world, isn’t it?
Hanyu: It was after the end of "GIFT", or during the "Fantasy on Ice" ice show to be precise, that I started thinking about the next ice show. During the planning process, the staff learned that a certain venue can be rented during a certain period, so we have to start creating new ice shows quickly. I really wanted to continue using the story format, so I had to start writing (laughs).
When I was very worried about "what should I do?", I suddenly realized that my origin is games. Therefore, when I started writing the story, I had already decided to use the music of the 8 BIT series, and the characters would be pixellated villains, and using pixellated style to build a worldview of the game world.
Not everyone is familiar with games, so I thought a lot about how to convey the worldview that I wanted to express to the audience. At the same time, I had complete trust in MIKIKO-sensei, and I believed she would find a way. MIKIKO-sensei also said to me, "You can go as far into your creation as you want," so I was able to make a breakthrough and write this story.
Of course, as the production director, I completed almost all of the performance arrangements and stories myself, but I also have complete trust in the production team, and they really devoted themselves to the production of this ice show. I first created what I wanted to do, but I couldn't just think about my own self-satisfaction. In order to let everyone feel and understand the story, I worked with the staff together to create the ice show. This is how it felt like. To be honest, I didn’t feel that whatever I chose to do would definitely go well. I just felt that because everyone worked together, we were able to create a good work.
Q: There are new discoveries every time you perform. Hanyu-senshu's expressions seemed to be different between the Saitama performance and the Saga performance.
Hanyu: Really? I just threw myself into it regardless. But I feel like I have more energy now than when I was in competition. But still, my physical strength reached its limit at the end of the first half, and at that time I thought, "What am I doing? I'm so stupid…" (laughing)
[The unforgettable scenes]
Q: With the launch of new programs, your previous programs have also been re-interpreted and integrated into the ice performance story. During this process, I think you have also reviewed your competitive career. So what scene is etched in your mind when you look back now?
Hanyu: The first one should be the 2004 All-Japan Novice (Novice B = Champion). I was very impressed with my first All-Japan Novice win. First of all, this is my first time to participate in an All-Japan competition. Although there were training camps to discover new athletes and regional competitions before this, and I also had the opportunity to meet and get to know many different athletes, I was still new to the All-Japan competition. The number of people coming to watch and the number of referees were also different from before. To me, my performance was perfect under the circumstances and I ended up winning the event and scoring more than I thought I would. The buzz of excitement at that moment, the cheers of "Oh~" from the audience, and the feeling when I jumped 2A beautifully, it was really… I think that was my greatest success experience. It is no exaggeration to say that that success made me love figure skating even more. Then I got a little too confident because of that victory and got carried away. (Laughs) But then the ice rink was damaged in the earthquake, which pained me very much. After that, it was a dark time that I didn’t want to think about…
After that, the most important thing for me was Nice (2012 World Championships in Nice = 3rd place). When I did the free skate in Nice, it was the first time I had the opportunity to really feel like I was being supported. Before that, all I had been thinking was, "After all, I'm the one skating on the rink." In the past, I have always believed that the key to winning a game lies in whether I work hard and whether I can display my true strength on the rink. But in Nice, I felt for the first time the power of everyone’s support for me and the power of the staff who supported me. This power was reflected in my figure skating. I realized that the support and assistance I received was not something I could take for granted. So that was a very important moment for me.
Q: Sorry to interrupt you, but this competition in Nice is also the first time you have appeared on the cover of our magazine.
Hanyu: (Holding the 53rd issue in his hand) Ah~ I was so young back then. Nice is the origin after all. That was really the kind of figure skating that could only be shown at that time. I can no longer reproduce "RoJu" exactly as it was at that time, but this is also the fun part of figure skating.
Q: What about after Nice?
Hanyu: Hmm… Actually, it’s not the Olympics period that is deeply etched in my mind. The most impressive thing after this was the Helsinki World Championships (2017 Helsinki World Championships = Champion). Even now, when I watch the scenes, hear the cheers, and recall my state of mind at that time, as well as the completion of the program at that time, I am still very excited and have tears in my eyes. It was a really difficult season for me. The short program didn't go very well, and I had some jumps that I never succeeded in. Contrary to the cheers in the venue at that time, there was a complete quiet space in my heart… I felt that such a special feeling has surpassed figure skating and has become a very special space and time in my life. I now feel that the World Championships in Helsinki are more important to me than the Olympic Games.
Q: Was that the moment when you felt connected to everything?
Hanyu: Yeah, yeah. That's what I need most… The space I want to stay in most, the most joyful moment in my life, is that moment. I want to cherish moments like that, that’s what I’m thinking now.
[I still want to get better]
Q: Having enjoyed your current professional activities, I am reminded of some of the words you said in interviews many years ago during your competition days that connect to the present. So what is this unwavering core of yours?
Hanyu: That would be, I still want to get better. The root of my desire to be better, to be stronger, and to continue to challenge myself is that I want to be praised, and I want everyone to think that I'm doing a good job.
In addition, in my own words now, I hope it can be an opportunity for everyone to have some sort of emotion. There are many factors involved in this, and these factors become more numerous as we age. So it’s impossible to make a simple generalization, but what is always consistent to me is my determination to get better. I want to become better, stronger and more capable to present to everyone the things I want to express and create. This has never changed.
Q: Previously, Hanyu-senshu mentioned in an interview that Mr. Nomura Mansai has always been at his peak. Mr. Hanyu, you yourself too, despite the passage of time, you have always kept the audience looking forward to it. I think that in order to achieve this, you have also undergone many changes in your heart, right?
Hanyu: Indeed. The kyogen that Mr. Mansai engages in is a bit difficult to describe for people who love traditional arts. I think in their eyes it belongs to the genre of folk art. In the field of kabuki, there are also kabuki based on game themes, and Mr. Mansai also uses various techniques to try to launch modern kyogen and Noh dramas that are completely different from the past. Some viewers are looking forward to this. For those who value tradition, or those who simply want to see a Noh play at a Noh theatre, this performance may seem a bit offbeat.
But in a sense, from my perspective, this alternative is the charm of "Nomura Mansai". The modern Nomura Mansai has such a unique quality. He not only appears in TV series, but also has a multi-field acting career. In my opinion, maintaining such style all the time is the unique charm of Mr. Mansai.
I believe that for the figure skating world, "Yuzuru Hanyu" must also be a very different existence. But precisely because of this uniqueness, those viewers who have always followed figure skating competitions and like the Yuzuru Hanyu in the past will think, "Ah, figure skating can still be expressed in this way." Maybe some people may also think, "No, I still hope he skates more traditionally." Everyone has various opinions and ideas.
But at the end of the day, I feel like figure skating alone cannot fully express everything I want to express to everyone. Mr. Mansai was born into a family where Kyogen was passed down from generation to generation, but he loved rock music and even formed a band, which was later reflected in his Kyogen. So for me, I want to express myself through figure skating, but figure skating alone is not enough.
In other words, the so-called form is still figure skating, but now with imaging technology, various technologies, stage settings, etc. can be completely separated from the ice. This is especially obvious in "RE_PRAY". Extend various expressions in silence. Some people may say, is this still figure skating? but I feel that integrating everything I want to express into figure skating is a natural and suitable way for me at the moment.
So, I think this is probably the "Yuzuru Hanyu" in everyone's mind. Although my inner thoughts have changed and what I want to express has also changed, the reason why people feel that "it's still Yuzuru Hanyu" is because what I want to pursue has not changed from the competitive days.
As a person, what I present from my soul is always the same and has never changed. Therefore, although my thoughts continue to change, in everyone's eyes I remained the same. I place what I want to express on figure skating. Now, I am learning various things and getting in touch with things in various fields. I want to continue to improve myself. This is because I feel that figure skating alone is no longer enough to meet my needs for expression in figure skating. However, it is still difficult for me to describe in detail what is needed.
Q: We all enjoy watching Hanyu’s performances.
Hanyu: I’m very happy that everyone likes to watch it. It’s not easy to perform though.
Q: Through various channels such as your YouTube channel, TV broadcasts, live viewing, and online broadcasts, your performances will be widely disseminated to various places.
Hanyu: Got it. As a Japanese, Tohoku and Sendai person, I think there is a unique rhythm cultivated by the culture of this land and water in my heart. This should also be reflected in my figure skating performances. I will continue to hone myself so that everyone can feel the charm of my performance when it is translated into English language or taken as a photo. At the same time, I cherish and am full of pride for figure skating as a stage for my expression.
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Editor’s Note: Yuzuru Hanyu’s words are full of spirit to constantly expand figure skating and update the concept of figure skating. Every detail in the interview reflects his deep affection for figure skating. Carrying the fate of the chosen one, he moves forward tenaciously, peacefully, and firmly.
—There is no doubt that he will continue to promote the development and deepening of figure skating.
(End of full text· Interview/WFS Editorial Department)
Source: https://weibo.com/5437806211/OaN8SCn0A
Info: https://worldfigureskating-web.jp/news/6196/
BTS: https://worldfigureskating-web.jp/news/6632/2/
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Legends and myths about trees
Celtic beliefs in trees (18)
T for Tinne (Holly) - July 18th - August 5th
“Tree of Sacrifice - 8th month of the Celtic Tree Calendar (Ref)”
Colour: red; Star: Mars, Saturn: Gemstone: ruby, bloodstone; Gender: male; Patrons: Taranis, Jesus Christ, Thor, Lugh; Symbols: discord + humanity, blood + compassion, endless love
When it comes to holly, there is no one who doesn't know the prickly leaves and red berries. The evergreen holly tree has dense branches, and thanks to its glossy evergreen foliage, the holly tree remains unchanged through over time and throughout the year.
Since ancient times, holly has represented the robust vitality and masculine strength of nature. It was closely associated with birth and rebirth rituals and the transmission of esoteric knowledge, and was particularly linked with unconditional love, and eventually came to symbolise all gods dedicated to sacrifice. The holly is also known as a tree that protects fairies and, as with all 'fairy trees', legend has it that cutting it down will bring bad luck. People in the past planted holly near their houses because it was said to ward off evil and stop lightning from striking.
It is said that long ago, when the island of Britain was still called Albion, prehistoric Britain was protected by a giant called Gogmagog. This giant who covered his entire body with holly branches and leaves, primeval god Gogmagog, eventually became known by the name 'the Holly King'. The giant held a holly bush as a club and is said to be the twin brother of the 'King of Oak'. In the medieval story 'Sir Gawain and the Green Knight', the Holly King appears as the immortal Green Knight and Sir Gawain as the Oak King.
The Holly King, who rules over the six months leading up to the summer solstice and winter solstice, takes the throne after the Oak King dedicates himself to the summer solstice bonfire. Then, in a cycle of death and rebirth, he sacrifices himself to give way once more to the Oak King on the winter solstice. Hence, Oak King and Holly king represent two phases of nature's guardian deities.
The Celtic festival of Lughnasadh (Lughnasa) takes place at the end of the holly month. This celebrates the rebirth of Lugh, the god of light (the sun) and crafts, and is celebrated on 1 August in the UK, Ireland and Europe at the Harvest Festival. This is also the Anglo-Saxon festival of Lammas.
The evergreen holly, which does not die out even when all plants have died, symbolises a strong life force and is a 'good omen' tree. The druids (Ref2), who regarded holly as a particularly sacred tree, proceeded to bring holly into the house during the winter months. The holly, with its red berries and bright foliage, which exalts the soul, was a protector of elves and fairies from the harsh cold. So, during the winter, they do not misbehave.
Any holly brought into the house must be returned to the outdoors by 'Imbolc Eve'. It's because if holly leaves remain in the house after that, misfortune will befall them.
This was retained in Christianity as Twelfth Night (also known as Epiphany Eve). In Christianity, which teaches that holly eventually grew from the ground on which Jesus walked, the thorny leaves and red berries of holly represent the Passion and shed blood of Jesus.
木にまつわる伝説・神話
ケルト人の樹木の信仰 (18)
TはTinne (ﾋｲﾗｷﾞ) - 7月18日～8月4日
『犠牲の木 〜 ケルトの木の暦（参照）の第8月』
色: 赤; 星: 火星、土星: 宝石: ルビー、ブラッドストーン (血石) ; 性: 男性; 守護神: タラニス、イエス・キリスト、トール、ルー; シンボル: 不和＋人間性、血＋憐れみ、限りなき愛
ヒイラギといえば、棘のある葉と赤い実、知らない人はいないだろう。常緑樹のヒイラギは、びっしりと枝を張り、またつやつやとした常緑の葉のおかげてヒイラギは、時の移ろいにも変わらぬ姿を見せている。
昔からヒイラギは自然のたくましい生命力や男性的な力強さを表してきた。古代では、誕生や再生の儀式、秘伝の伝授などに縁が深いものとされ、とりわけ無償の愛と関係があり、やがて犠牲に捧げられたすべての神々を象徴するようになった。ヒイラギは妖精を守る木としても知られ、「妖精の木」がすべてそうであるように、伐採すると不幸をもたらすという言い伝えがある。昔の人は家の近くにヒイラギを植えていたが、それは魔除けになり、雷が落ちなくなると言われていたからだ。
その昔、ブリテンがまだアルビオンと呼ばれていた頃の、太古のブリテン島はゴグマゴグという巨人が守っていたといわれている。このヒイラギの枝や葉で全身を覆った巨人、太古の神ゴグマゴグはやがて「ヒイラギの王」の名で知られるようになった。その巨人はヒイラギの茂みを棍棒として持ち、「オークの王」の双子の兄弟であるといわれている。中世の物語『ガウェイン卿と緑の騎士』では、ヒイラギの王が不死身の緑の騎士として、ガウェイン卿はオークの王として登場する。夏至かた冬至に至る半年間を治めるヒイラギ王は、オーク王が夏至のかがり火に身を捧げた後、王位につく。そして、死と再生を繰り返すサイクルの中で、冬至の日に、自らを犠牲にしてふたたびオーク王に道を譲る。オーク王とヒイラギ王は自然の守護神の二つの局面を表している。
ヒイラギの月が終わる頃にはケルトの祭典、ルーナサが行われる。これは、光 (太陽) と技芸の神、ルーの再生を祝うもので、英国、アイルランド、ヨーロッパでは、8月1日に収穫祭が開かれる。これはアングロサクソン人のラマス祭にも当たる。
すべての植物が枯れても死に絶えることを知らない常緑樹のヒイラギは屈強な生命力を象徴し、「吉兆」の木でもある。ヒイラギを特に神聖な木として崇めていたドルイド（参照2）は、冬の間はヒイラギを家の中に持ち込むように進めた。赤い実と鮮やかな葉が魂を昂揚させるヒイラギは、厳しい寒さから妖精やエルフを守ってくれる存在だった。だから、冬の間、妖精たちは悪さをしない。家の中に持ち込まれたヒイラギは、「インボルクのイヴ」までには必ず屋外に戻さなければならない。その後にも家の中にヒイラギの葉が残っていると、不幸が訪れるからだ。
これが十二夜（エピファニー・イブとも知られる）としてキリスト教に残された。イエスが歩いた地面からはやがてヒイラギが生えてきたと教えるキリスト教では、ヒイラギの棘のある葉と赤い実は、イエスの受難と流し血を表している。
#trees#tree legend#tree myths#folklore#mythology#legend#celtic belief#holly#celtic calender#holly king#oak king#art#nature#imbolc
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Ease My Mind
Seldom did Joe lose his serene and composed demeanor. At least not outwardly. It periodically became easier to notice the shift, the sway in his everyday presence. As July rolled in, when the weeks passed in a haze, hot summer heat idle in the air, you observed as your lover lumbered through another day without a vocal complaint. It was the soft sighs, slouching shoulders, tender muscles, and tired eyes repeatedly finding salvage between your arms. Within your grasp, lips pressed against your chest and silky strands brushing underneath your chin, was where he felt most at peace, the voices in his head muted.
It was uncanny, you thought, sitting at the edge of the tub as Joe leaned back, body immersed in an ice bath. Uncanny that a season like Summer symbolizing warmth and positivity became such a dreadful time for him. The pressure he placed on himself tormented, gravely demeaning. It was times like this when the expectations from himself and the public, the desire to perform beyond optimal perfection, settled deep into his soul, rattling his bones, and forcing him past even his own lengthy limits. He was never unrestrained from his job. Instead, he was entirely devoted and enthroned till his very last game. Till the final call, the end of an era belonging to Cincinnati’s golden boy.
When February ended, and March peeked into your lives, it was bliss. You gave Joe grace for a few weeks to wrap his mind around another completed season and permit him time to heal and redeem his emotions. By late February he'd recomposed, football aside, and you both played house. From hometown trips, aimless drives, mid-day chatter, and the ever-so-thrilling nights in bed. The following months leading up to this moment, when the kisses and embraces became more compassionate, the moments held fragile, and the memories of another off-season taunting.
And today as you sat before him, watching dawn grace his face golden yellow, concealing those electric blue eyes, you could not help but feel a twinge of guilt. Off-season despite its bliss, signified more acknowledged time apart. It was easier during the season to work, share meals, take evenings in, lazy mornings in bed on off days, spend your weekends cheering him on, road trips, and fancy team dinners. Any moment together was treasured, the routine ironically steady. But now you pondered if a phone call to the hospital would suffice the turmoils in your stomach. A harmless sick day, an opportunity to play hooky, a chance to pull Joe away from his mind. Your feet moved before the gears in your brain, and within seconds you managed to escape the tiring but rewarding 12 hours ahead, to instead look after your lover.
Upon returning to the bathroom, you met with those captivating blue eyes. Joe smiled at you softly, eyes glancing over your frame. His voice barely audible as he muttered a “Hey you”. Some mornings were brief. He’d catch your lips in a rush, pulling the hem of an oversized shirt covering your body closer precipitously. His hands would find your waist, consuming your senses in just a few seconds, till you’d split, forced to conquer your days. He missed the feel of you against him, the hours spent keeping each other warm, and his ears sought the medley you’d spill from within, only made for him. But his muscles were sore, his legs throbbing, and when he had you alone he selfishly craved your nursing. Familiar hands massaging every aching spot, lips pressing pleasant kisses to sections of pain, and those loving eyes he prayed to call his forever laced with concern before he’d dismiss your mind, venture to revoke the fear in your voice, drive away all worry and pull you into sleep with him, holding you close as if to persuade you he was well.
And as you lay next to him, watching him drift away, observing the crease between his brows resolve and his chest rise and fall with tiresome depth, you knew he was attempting to convince himself.
This morning, however, he noted the relaxation in your stride. His gaze observed as you sat near him, pulling your long hair back before those angelic eyes inched closer, and you pressed your lips to his dearly. The water shifted, barely jumping at the contact of his cold and wet hand against the warm skin of your neck until another held you in place, securing your bare legs, thick fingers pressing into your skin. He groaned as your part, a lazy smile on your lips. The hem of your shirt was wet, water trickling down your neck. Joe's profound chest was littered with droplets, shimmering against the ray of dawn. You placed your forehead against his, closing your eyes as the feel of his hands crept closer to your bottom. He muttered incoherent remarks at the first feel of thin lace. Before he could pull you in, you spoke.
“What time is practice?” your voice was sweet, almost hushed. His head fell back, a desolate sigh leaving his lips. The room fell quiet again. You placed your lips against his neck, painting a pathway of gentle kisses to his jaw. “Around noon.” His fingers tugged the thin material covering your body, distressed hands longing to have his way. Pulling away, you nodded, your eyes wandering to the large window behind you. The sun was barely up, and Joe had finished an early morning workout already. “Well then,” You faced him again, reaching for a towel on the vanity, holding it out for him. “Better get you some breakfast.”
The house was beginning to glow as the sun inched steadily above the horizon. The white walls became yellow, the hardwood floors shining. The aroma of coffee engulfed Joe’s senses as he made his way down the stairs toward the kitchen. He found you assembling freshly toasted frozen waffles on a plate, dousing them with savory syrup. Before he could protest or retreat from anything outside of his strict diet, you spoke.
“Not today Burrow, one sugary breakfast won’t hurt you.” You motioned to the coffee cups as you lead him to the balcony, nudging the large French doors open with your foot, setting the plates before both of you on the table, as you relaxed into the patio couch. Joe took a hearty bite of a waffle, mouth overcome with sweetness and delight. But nothing matched the pacifying look in your eyes when he turned to face you. “Told you,” you whispered, a smile lurking on your lips. You both ate in silence for a moment, watching the day come alive before you. Finally, Joe spoke aloud, his arm circling your waist.
“Don’t you have work today?” He asked, confusion spreading over his face. He toyed with the hem of your shirt, tips of his fingers daring to graze skin. “No, I called in,” you declared simply, watching as the furrow between his eyebrows became apparent. “I want to spend the day with you.” You added, extending your leg over him, placing your weight on his large thighs. Your hands ran up his neck, as you bent towards him, lips barely apart. “I want to look after you today.” You whispered, exploring his eyes for a sign of solace. “Y/N you didn’t have to …”
Joe admired your drive and passion for your profession. He was in awe of your selfless nature to look after others day and night. During the season you put aside your career some weeks to help him focus, support him and be present with him. And he despised pulling you away from what you loved and did best. “I know, trust me I know, but I want to calm down whatever it is going on in here.” Your voice was an analgesic, and your fingers recovery as they ran through his hair, stroking his scalp. He fell loose before you, allowing you to take authority as you kissed him. His body settled beneath your touch. Your hands ran up his arms which had grown over the last few weeks, along his torso which was more firm. And as your chest pressed against his, your hair falling to frame his face, the taste of syrup and coffee filling his mouth, he guided you underneath him. His calloused restless hands found residence beneath your shirt, feeling the panes of your back as Joe released his weight gently onto you. Your hips pushed against his, a gasp escaping your lips when those blue eyes flashed before you, the larger man practically crawling down your body.
Despite the yearning, regardless of the butterflies in your stomach, you withdrew, mumbling a breathless “Wait”, the tips of your digits pushing into his broad shoulders. “Not yet,” you whimpered, sighing. You swiped the sole curl on his forehead aside as he fell next to you, face nestled into your neck. “Not yet.” You whispered, feeling his lashes flutter against you, the silent consolation when he found your skin underneath fabric again, legs entangling with yours. The pleasure he desired was not a remedy for easing his mind. And while you held him, grazing your fingers through his hair, you observed as his body rose and fell steadily. And as the day awoke, Joe slept within your arms, and you didn’t dare wake him till just before noon.
The sun was fully awake as you stood on the sidelines of Paycor Stadium. The sky above you a vivacious blue, not a cloud in sight. You watched Joe run drills with the team. Those long muscular legs were quick and fast. Daring blue eyes hyper-focused. And every throw was meticulous, as the football spun seamlessly into the hands of his receivers. His orange jersey brought out the tan in his skin which glistened underneath the heat.
As the whistle blew for a water break, Joe permit himself to look at you. When you followed him to the car this morning, any dread of practice seeped through him when you declared you would join. And now, as you stood a few steps away, engaged in polite conversation with the training staff, Joe pulled his ears from the banter amongst his teammates, tuning their voices out, and found serenity at the sight of you.
It was a challenge not to fixate on you during drills, knowing in the back of his mind, from the corner of his eyes that the pretty girl in the blue sundress with tiny daisies was his girl. The sun gleamed down on your rich skin, hair loose, blowing slightly with the soft breeze. White cheeky heart-shaped sunglasses rested atop your head. Your cheeks were rosy from the heat and that pretty smile on your pink lips filled him with warmth greater than the scorching heat as you listened intently to your speaker. Far too mesmerized, Joe barely heard the whistle blow near him. It wasn’t until Coach Taylor yelled his name demanding his attention, followed by the snicker of his teammates as they glanced back at their quarterback's weakness did he ultimately draw his eyes from you, but not until catching sight of a reassuring smile you sent his way.
In another two hours, you had sought shade in the tunnel watching as practice concluded. As the men made their way off the green grass, some stopping to embrace you, you watched Coach Taylor pull Joe aside. At first, his broad shoulders seemed to tighten, those fine lips pursed, but then as the words left the Coach’s mouth you watched him ease back into comfort. The pair approached you then, anticipation bubbled as a glistening Joe headed straight for you. “Joe is excused from media obligations today Y/N.” You smiled at Coach Taylor as he sent you a wink, bidding you both well.
Your chest rose and fell prominently as Joe stood before you. Your fingers intertwined with his as your backside depressed against the firm wall. “I don’t know what you did, but thank you.” The skin of his cheeks and forehead was sunkissed, the redness evident, and his baby blue eyes more luminous outside. The hair atop his head was messy, which he pushed back with his hand. With weary eyes Joe scanned near and far, before resting a hand over your head, bending down to press a grateful kiss to your lips. His right knee lightly pushed against your thigh, the edge of your little sun dress lifting dangerously higher. Your mind felt foggy, swamped with the fragrances of sweat, grass, and remnants of his cologne. Your arms wrapped around his neck, trying to reach his height as you stood on your toes, practically falling into him. And you didn’t pull back, not until a stream of whistles emerged from nearby. Joe laughed as he walked back into the locker room, turning to find your cheeks blushed, pulling the sunglasses over your eyes.
The house was silent, except for the sounds of soft breaths, the pages of your novel turning as your eyes skimmed over words, and the scratch of Joe’s pen against paper. The sun was beginning to descend below the horizon, the sky outside a canvas of cotton candy pink. The sound of Joe’s heartbeat filled your ears, as you lay your head on his chest, meshed into the couch. Much to your dismay, Joe was distracted with an article on his play. The writer critiqued his form, speed, and resilience. You listened as his heart quickened, frustration evident as he shifted uncomfortably against you. He obsessively underlined phrases and lines, reading over and over what this foreign man claimed he needed to improve. Unable to take it anymore you shifted, your weight no longer pulling into him and he forced his eyes away, a sudden panic as you stood up. Your novel fell in your spot on the couch, unfazed as you lost your page. "Put it away, please, for your sanity just put it away.” Joe watched as the familiar fear clouded your eyes.
There were only so many times he could play dumb.
Circling your hand around his, you gestured for him to join you. Trailing behind you like a lost puppy, he watched your fingers skim as you flipped light switches, the house becoming dark as did the sky, a sleek dark blue. Reaching the bathroom, you pressed your palms into Joe’s chest, pushing him back towards the vanity. He watched as you filled the tub with warm water, the steam rising. You made your way effortlessly through the bathroom depositing rose and lavender Epsom salts into the water. Finally, when the tub was full, the waft of rose and lavender swallowing him, you came closer, your dainty fingers falling to his gray cotton shorts. Your fingers danced through the strings, loosening them as your hands slid up higher, pulling the black shirt over his head. Your eyes never met his, but he kept his on you, watching as the concern laced your features, tears threatening to spill.
“I want you to get in.” your voice was hushed, sending a shiver down his spine as he nodded, forcing his hands away from your waist as you turned without a glimpse. The door shut behind you, and you lingered, holding your breath till you heard the water shift, his relieved sigh loud as you imagined him descending into the water. After a few minutes of solitude, you knocked, peaking your head into the bathroom, catching Joe in utopia, head back, eyes closed as the warmth around soothed every muscle, each nerve, and delighted his skin. Quietly you sat next to him, your hips in alignment with his head.
His eyes opened at the first feel of your touch and closed almost immediately. Loving hands massaged his shoulder, your palms outlining the pane of his collarbone, gracing his back, watching as he tensed and eased back into you. Dipping your hands into the water, you brought them back up, running your fingers through his scalp, washing away the scents reminding you of locker room shampoo. You worked quietly, shifting to press your hands into any exposed skin, bringing his arms to rest against your bare thighs as you relieved each knot, every tense form.
His eyes opened as his head fell against your stomach, his large hands closing around yours resting on his bare chest. The silence was comfort. The night had become cool, the floor beneath your feet icey. “What is it that’s on your mind?” He shifted against you, a sigh following a long pause. “What if I’m not good enough? What if I let everyone down again?” You purse your lips at these words, scouring for the right things to say as your head dipped lower in gloom. “You’re always going to think you need to do better. And whether you see it or not, you are better, every year. A trophy doesn’t prove your worth.” You hovered your hand underneath his chin, pulling his head back as you grazed your lips over his. He kissed you feverishly. “You just have to remind yourself you are getting better. It isn’t fair to not love and appreciate yourself the way you do others.” His features softened, eyes fading into realization.
As he fell back into you, your hold tighter, you whispered into his ear, pressing your lips against it as if to seal the deal. “You play the game for a living, but you can’t live to play. There will always be someone to tell you that you aren’t better, but if you choose to listen and drive yourself into suffering when instead you can use it to build yourself soundly, I can only speculate how your mind would ease.” For a few more minutes you held him, listening to the sound of his breathing as his eyes stared out into the darkness, your words shifting in his brain.
And as you started the shower, pressing a loving kiss to his lips, you left the bathroom, retreating back to settle your own mind.
When you entered the bedroom again he sat against the headboard, long legs hanging off the bed, feet planted firmly on the ground, and a sober look on his face. Wordless, he reached for you, drawing you near, your legs draping over his thick-toned thighs, skin unveiled as his shorts rose higher. “You’re right Y/N.” The two simple words lingered between you, the concern in your eyes overcome with endearment. You pressed your lips into the crook of his neck, cheek resting on his shoulder as your arms wrapped around him. You breathed in the smells of rose and lavender, your brain fuzzy and stomach filling with butterflies. His fingers danced in your hair, an arm draped across your waist holding you close. “Lean back Joe.” he groaned ever so softly as you pulled away, in search of what it is you needed.
He watched through heavy lustful eyes as you rummaged through the drawers, smiling as you pulled a pain relief oil from one. “Tell me where it hurts.” The room was dim, and as your bodies made shadows on the walls, the glow warm, your eyes glistening before him, Joe obeyed, guiding your hand to his left thigh. Sitting before him on your knees, settled between his outstretched legs, he gulped as you raised his shorts higher, heat rushing to your cheeks as the oil you rubbed between your palms met his thigh, fidgeting underneath your tedious hands. Slowly you made your way through every painful location, and as you pulled the his shirt over his head, your own eyes heavy, you beckoned to switch spots, settling behind him, drawing circles into the panes of his back, up his spine and down his biceps. And with every ease of pain, every delicate touch of love, he fell deeper in love if possible.
He listened as the water ran in the shower, waiting for you as the effects of the oil seeped into his muscles. For the first time in days he felt free. For the first time in days he didn’t dread tomorrow. And as you opened the door, eyes catching his, you made you way back to him hesitantly, afraid to inflict more pain. “There you go, that’s better.” You chuckled at his teasing remarks, cheeks crimson as your core met his thigh, his hands pulling the lace robe off your body, revealing white lace in the most intimate of spots.
“Thank you for today, and everyday,” he whispered, bringing you down with him, rolling over to face you as you fell beneath him. You nodded, knowing slowly but surely Joe understood. Your fingers traced the brim of his nose, the outline of his lips before digging your fingers into the hem of his shorts. You shuddered as his hands inched higher up your thighs, his lips trailing from your lips, down your neck, and descending below your sternum.
You sunk further in bed, engulfed by the sheets as his hands got lost in your hair, trailed down your warm arms and cupped your cheeks as his teeth grazed your bottom lip. “I wish I could make you forget it all” you whispered, words dripping with sympathy. He nodded against you, “I know ..., I know ...”. Your heart fluttered as his hips pressed against yours, skin meeting skin as your bodies entangled. Cupping his face within your hands you halted him, watching those desperate eyes hold your gaze intently. “You’re more than enough nine”. You watched the calm wash over his face, pictured the wave of relief running through his mind. And you kissed him, drawing him from his woes, pulling him into another world, reminding him just how much you loved him.
#joe burrow#joe burrow imagines#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow imagine#cincinnati bengals#begals#joe burrow one shot#cincinnati bengals imagines#joe burrow oneshot#joe burrow writes#joe burrow fanfictoon#nfl imagine
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I think there's something fascinating about the evolution of Darla as a character in the Buffyverse.
It's very common in the Buffy fandom to talk about the show almost as if it were fully planned out from the beginning or somehow emerged fully-formed one day in its entirety. To analyze Season 1 episodes as if the writers had already decided on the Heart/Mind/Spirit symbolism of the core Scooby Gang; to act as though a Season 5 retcon means that Spike was really in love with Buffy as early as Season 3's Lovers Walk; to suggest the constant changes in how the show deals with soul lore or vampires as a metaphor must mean that Giles and the Council were 'really' lying or ignorant in the first few seasons; to wonder what the Watchers Council introduced in Season 3 were doing in the show's first two seasons; to insist you can't really understand Season 1 until you've finished Season 7.
And, look, I totally get the temptation to do that sort of thing. It's unavoidable if you want to talk about the universe of the show as a real thing in its own right, or try to write fanfiction that takes every season seriously. It can be a useful and interesting way of thinking about the show. I've done it myself and will no doubt keep doing it.
But at the same time, it's very misleading if you want to think about the show as a constructed work of collaborative art: as a piece of fiction in constant conversation with itself, shaped and reshaped again and again over years by a team of different people. Which, to be clear, is what it actually is.
The real show is almost a piece of improv or some sort of conjuring act, with the writers and actors constantly juggling with new ideas and twists without any time to worry about how exactly everything fits together. With some episodes reportedly being written in only a handful of days and lore being continually changed and ignored as fits the current demands of the plot. Questions like "how does soul lore really work?" or "after Prophecy Girl who is the real Slayer anyway?" ultimately can't be answered, because there simply is no single truth to uncover. It depends entirely on the current episode.
And I think the ever-changing character of Darla provides the best illustration of that reality.
In the original unaired pilot, Julie Benz plays an unnamed vampire who is nonetheless pretty easy to identify with the Darla we'll see in the show proper. She has no links to Angel or Luke or the Master, because none of these characters even exist yet. Just like in Welcome to the Hellmouth, she lures an unsuspecting victim into the high school after dark before vamping out and killing him, but by the end of the episode she is dead: gruesomely dispatched (or as gruesomely as the pilot's limited special effects budget allowed) after Willow douses her with holy water.
The two parter Welcome to the Hellmouth / The Harvest expands on her role slightly. She has a name now, for one thing. She works for the Master, too, but she doesn't at all seem to be his favorite (she's very much subordinate to Luke in both these episodes), and there's no suggestion that she has any special connection to Angel. (Unsurprisingly, as the show's writers hadn't even decided to make Angel a vampire at this point.) And her ultimate fate at the end of this two-parter is unclear: just as in the pilot, Willow soaks her with holy water, and then she's ... gone? Nobody mentions her again, she's not in scenes with the Master in later episodes which logically she should be. I'm pretty sure that, just like in the pilot, we're meant to assume she's dead.
But then Darla gets her first big break. Angel is, it turns out, a vampire, and he needs some backstory to match. Julie Benz obviously made a decent enough impression in the first couple of episodes, and nothing she did or said quite ruled her out as Angel's sire, and we never quite see her die. So suddenly she's back, now the Master's favorite vampire, attacking Buffy's mother in her own home and sowing the seeds of mistrust between Buffy and Angel and ... oh, she's dead again. Bummer.
Except then in Season 2 Angel's role expands again -- he's not just Buffy's intermittently seen vampire boyfriend anymore, he's the focus of the whole season and he's going to appear in all but one episode. Of course, he's going to need more backstory (and we're all going to be treated to David Boreanaz's best Irish accent) so ... once again Darla rises from the ashes, albeit this time only in flashbacks. And the Darla we see in Becoming's flashbacks is once again an evolution of the character we last saw in Season 1's Angel. More confident, more complex. A character that it is honestly difficult to reconcile with the take on the character we saw last season, especially the one we swa in the show's first two episodes.
Anyway, Angel gets sent to hell in Season 2, but not before managing to (somehow) act his way into his own spin-off series. And yes, that means more flashbacks, and more Darla, and more retcons about the precise nature of her relationship with the Master, but ultimately it means the writers decide to bring Darla back from the dead at the end of the spin-off's first season (for, depending on exactly you count it, arguably the fourth time, though only the first in-universe). And this iteration of Darla -- both the human Darla we see in the beginning of Angel's second season, and the vampire she becomes again later that season -- is arguably the closest thing there is to a definitive take on the character. This is the Darla people mean when they talk about her on the show. Not the mid-level vampire of Welcome to the Hellmouth or the essentially single episode villain of Season 1's Angel, but the real deal. Darla at her most complicated and rich and alive, a Darla whose history is hopelessly entangled with that of her on-again, off-again lover Angel, a character who provides the driving force for the spin-off show's greatest season. A character who is, I think, one of the most interesting to ever appear on that show.
Then the last few episodes of Season 2 completely drop Darla and all trace of the arc she introduced. When she reappears next season (in just a handful of episodes) it's so that her character can be written out of the show via mystical and impossible-by-the show's-previous-rules pregnancy in order for men to feel sad about it (but not for very long), and afterwards everything generally goes to shit.
But then, that tells you quite a lot about the Buffyverse and its creators as well.
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how abt a little fic of the gang hanging out with a human, latino/a reader? often reader speaks their language whenever upset or at lost for words, or maybe sings songs in their language! ( virgen by adolescentes got me in a chokehold im SING MY SOUL N BODY OUT !!@ ) also love ur work! got me at the edge of my seat fr fr whenever you updated!
stay safe n thx !! 🦎🦎
OOOH! I like this idea! I don't know much about Latino/a culture, being a US citizen, but I will do my best. To be honest I wish they offered classes in the US about other cultures (or in my school. Idk if others actually offered classes like that). If anything is inaccurate, I apologize, and please let me know! I love to learn about these sorts of things. ❤️
Welcome Home Neighborhood Hanging out with a Latino/a Reader
📽️ Where exactly your family is from in Latin America doesn't really matter to them. The main point of interest is what things you can teach them! They want to know everything! Especially since Frank and his books actually don't have that much about it, for once! So, once they learn about it, you will have a lot of teaching to do.
📽️ So, when start speaking or singing in your language, they are amazed! They only thought that one language existed, to be honest. They think it sounds very pretty! If you are willing to teach them, they will go absolutely insane with joy! Though, they might be a bit confused about why you only speak your language when upset or at a loss for words. It is so amazing, why don't you speak it more often? Imagine how pretty it would sound if you spoke it while happy!
📽️ Do you celebrate holidays specific to where you are from? If you do, the first time you start setting up for it, a few of them might be watching with curiosity. After a while, they might start visiting to ask questions. Celebrations? MORE celebrations than they already knew of? Count them in! They might have a bit of trouble understanding the symbolism behind certain aspects of it, though. Also, if you celebrate The Day of the Dead, you might have to explain what exactly "death, dead, and dying" are. Once they understand, though, they would probably like it! I feel like they have a very basic knowledge of funerals, but never understood some parts until you explained them. They would enjoy how The Day of the Dead serves as a reminder of the happy times with loved ones without the crushing atmosphere of a funeral.
📽️ There are traditional foods that are popular in your culture? Poppy would love to know more! Maybe she can make them with the other neighbors and you! Can you teach her how? Oooh! Traditional clothing? Julie and Sally would be interested! Maybe they can base a play around some of the folklore and create costumes based around the culture? It might not be the same as a fairytale, but it is still just as interesting!
📽️ Overall, it would be the same with anyone of any specific culture they don't know about. Due to being from a children's show, they have a natural instinct to learn. That's what a children's show is all about, right? Learning! They also believe it will serve to make you more comfortable with them. If they know more about you and where you came from, they can try their best to surround you with more familiar things to ease you into being used to their presence in your life.
(I hope you like it! I tried to look up some stuff to make it a bit more accurate. Idk if this is exactly what you meant but I tried my best! 😊)
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This Week In BL - Everyone is back with a will
July 2023 Wk 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 11 of 12 -This was a proper ep 11 with everything coming to a head (pun intended). All the high risk reality of coming out in a conservative job environment. I like that they brought it back around to Up’s actor character. Still not sure how I feel about the side couple. Although it was meant to be heart wrenching, only the wig made me cry... Seriously just take all wigs away from Thailand on grounds of chronic abuse and misuse.
La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - This got a bit messy and heavy for me (you know I prefer my BL frivolous). Not sure how I feel about the “hearing soulmate thing” being violated as an established rule of the universe (via Lom) No, I do know. It feels disingenuous. Am I supposed to doubt my belief in everything including the show now? Is that the point? The character’s doubt true love, thus I doubt the narrative? I have to say that I think this show is betraying the courage of its convictions but also that it must do that to stay a BL. (Just imagine what this story would’ve been like in the hands of Japan. Soul destroying.) Ultimately La Pluie is going to end happily, but that doesn’t feel right (to ME who LOVES HEA). Bah. I don’t know where my head (or my heart) is at with this. Only next week will tell, I suppose.
Low Frequency (Sat YouTube?) ep 1 of 8 - Mon can see ghosts and he’s not happy about it. This was more horror to start than I expected (I’m not going to go into the long tradition of “gayness as monstrosity” you can read the flim crit on the subject if you’re interested) instead I’ll just say I tend to cast a jaundice eye on “my ghost boyfriend” as a trope for more reasons than “new meaning to kill the gay” trope. I mean there is a reason China loves both much, they do adore a dead homosexual... but this is Thailand and a pulp so... here we go! NO SINGING. Boy after my own heart, doesn’t date actors. Smart cookie. Although not smart enough to sniff a set-up a mile away. Lube huh? We never see that. It’s a very chaotic cut together first ep and I’m a bit confused but the relationship development, but it is more pulp than horror so I’m game...
Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 8? eps - Rak stood up for himself, good for him. Also I like how queer his friendship group is. This reminds me the most of My Engineer, but I like this lead couple better.
Be Mine SuperStar (Mon Viki) ep 1 of 12 - You know me, I don’t like stalker-fan types, wigs me out. BUT It’s nice to see First in a serious non-tsundere roll (although I didn’t get much off of him, his character is reading a bit flat). AND It is nice to watch Ja take the lead in a drama, he has a very likable screen presence and I know he can carry it. You know what else I likey? Bosston and the gorgeous 1 night yummy doctor he’s paired with. I suppose it’s a JaFirst piece but I didn’t expect high heat this fast and certainly not from Bosston. All in all? I’m not mad that this is now my Monday.
Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - NO SINGING. Trash watch here.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - This is one of those shows where I feel like I should save it for Friday, so I can watch it with more frivolous things, because it is so heavy - weighted by symbolism, emo yearning, and an odd kind of compassion. Ren’s backstory is SO SAD. How will they recover from that? Oh, it’s also great. Must you, Japan? Seriously?
Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 1-2 of 10 eps - The premise is a little bit like Mr. Unlucky (a take on fated mates), but it’s very Taiwanese with all the trope’s: they’re roommates, enemies to lovers, baby is a clumsy bunny, paranormal (it even starts with crash into me = Taiwan’s favorite trope). Familiar faces too. Fun fun. (I like that the credit sequence is basically a micro boyfriends episode.) I like it, it feels almost 2015 or something. Weeeee.....
Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 5 of 6 - They cute. It’s very sweet and very high school but low angst for all that. Also the reason the nerd has a crush on the jock is so charming. That is it, they’re charming! I am charmed.
Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu ????) 1 of 12 eps - Less of a time jump than previously reported just 3 months. But I’m still annoyed no one has changed or evolved - same territory as ever. I do not like second seasons. I do not like blushing maiden tropes. I do not like manufactured drama. I am annoyed yet I LOVED season one so I am gritting my teeth. say it with me everybody... oh Japan, must you?
Tie The Not (Pinoy YouTube) ep 4 of 8 - The brothers are cute and it’s a little wistful and sad.
Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 10 of 12 - Boys argue. Boy gets hurt. Boy cooks apologies. Boys gaze yearningly at each other.
It’s airing but ...
House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.
Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.
Ever After (Pinoy YouTube) 12 eps - Spies reported that it's a real mess and not a hot one.
Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Starting:
7/9 Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - JoonDunk are back. Zo, a college freshman whose never been in love, decides to change it by making the college’s star Nita as his gf. He approaches Joke, Nita’s ex, for dating advice. What he fails to realize is that Joke has had his eyes on him for a long time and uses this opportunity to approach Zo. We have all seen this a million times before, but Thailand never executed a successful formula it didn’t want to repeat a million times over. Welcome to Thai BL.
7/15 Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat ????) Stars the pair from To Sir With Love and with the same production team - cryptic description, but it seems to be Manner of Death esk. Up to and including being impossible to get hold of.
Still coming in July:
7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI) - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.
7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 (TutorYim rumored to cameo) this office romance features 2, yes 2! Bls. Seme looks aggressive, we in classic yaoi territory. There is an idol involved. Past failed flirts. I am very excited about this one.
2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
Ouch.
More ouch. (both Step By Step)
Love the suspenders, hate the tie. (La Pluie)
What? They are reposting My Ride to YT and I just found myself doing a rewatch.
(Last week.)
#this week in BL#BL gossip#bl news#upcoming BL#July 2023 BL#BL reviews#korean bl#japanese bl#thai bl#Vietnamese bl#pinoy bl#taiwanese bl#live action yaoi#Rakutan Viki#gagaoolala#GMMTV#Step By Step the series#La Pluie#Low Frequency the series#Dinosaur Love#Be Mine SuperStar#Tokyo in April is...#Shigatsu no Tokyo wa#Stay By My Side#Stupid Genius#Minato's Laundromat Season 2#Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2#Tie The Not#Vian the series
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Top 5 Fave Oneshots I’ve Written
Will include the title & summary. I’m very proud of these. The link to read them will be in the title as well… Enjoy!
Her Soul Is In The Primroses - Primroses symbolize a lot — youth, renewal, young love, safety… It could be admired for the variety of colors, a perfect gift, and you could make oils or fragrances out of it… But for Katniss, it was a small, dainty thing that was a reminder of her sister.
The Surprise - Katniss has always hated birthdays and would constantly tell Peeta not to make a big deal out of it. This goes on for years, even if he made small attempts - she would not go along with it. It’s her 25th birthday and he really wants Katniss to enjoy the day. His plan? A surprise birthday party… But what he doesn’t know is she has a surprise for him too.
Dandelions & Picnics - Peace has finally been restored once the War is over. Peeta & Katniss are back in District 12, still learning to heal and grow. They decide to have a picnic date in the meadow, away from the worries and reminders of the past. It was just them and the dandelions.
Katniss’ Nightmare - Despite the rebellion being over, nightmares and flashbacks haunt the Victors from District 12. Katniss has a nightmare that Peeta dies in the first Games. She wakes up in a fright and is reassured.
July 4th - It’s a few years after the Rebellion, but Katniss still thinks of the Reaping and how her sister is tied to those specific memories. Peeta tries to cheer her up to make the day a little bit better.
#oneshots#thg#thg fanfic#everlark#everlark fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#Katniss everdeen#Peeta mellark#TONS OF ANGSTY SAD SHIT LMAO except like one#the hunger games#post canon
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Numerology 101
Numerology is the study of the symbolism and significance of numbers, and how they relate to our lives. It is based on the idea that everything in the universe has a vibration, including numbers. By understanding the energy of numbers, we can gain insight into ourselves and the world around us.
In numerology, each number has its own unique energy and meaning. For example, the number 1 is associated with independence, leadership, and innovation. The number 2 is associated with balance, harmony, and diplomacy. The number 3 is associated with creativity, self-expression, and communication.
Through the study of numerology, we can gain insight into our personality traits, life path, and destiny. By understanding the energy of the numbers associated with our name and birthdate, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our purpose in life.
Numerology can also be used to gain insight into relationships, career choices, and major life decisions. By understanding the energy of the numbers associated with these areas of our lives, we can make more informed choices and find greater fulfillment.
Here's a brief explanation of each concept in numerology:
Life Path Number: The life path number is a core number in numerology that is calculated based on a person's birthdate. It represents the path or journey a person will take in life and is considered the most important number in a person's numerology chart.
To calculate the life path number, you need to add up the digits in a person's birthdate (month, day, and year) and reduce it to a single digit or a master number (11, 22, or 33). For example, if someone was born on September 25, 1985, the calculation would be: 9 (September) + 2 + 5 (day) + 1 + 9 + 8 + 5 (year) = 39, and 3 + 9 = 12. Since 12 is not a master number, we reduce it to a single digit: 1 + 2 = 3. Therefore, the life path number for this person is 3.
Expression Number: The expression number is also known as the destiny number and is calculated based on a person's full name. It represents a person's natural abilities, talents, and potential in life.
To calculate the expression number or destiny number, you need to assign a numerical value to each letter in a person's full name (including middle and last names) and add them up. Then, reduce the number to a single digit or a master number (11, 22, 33, or 44). For example, if someone's name is John Smith, the calculation would be: J (1) + O (6) + H (8) + N (5) + S (1) + M (4) + I (9) + T (2) + H (8) = 44. Since 44 is a master number, we don't reduce it further. Therefore, the expression number or destiny number for this person is 44.
Soul Urge Number: The soul urge number is calculated based on the vowels in a person's full name and represents their innermost desires and motivations in life.
To calculate the soul urge number, you need to assign a numerical value to the vowels in a person's name (excluding the letter "y") and add them up. Then, reduce the number to a single digit or a master number. For example, using the name John Smith again, the calculation would be: O (6) + I (9) = 15, and 1 + 5 = 6. Therefore, the soul urge number for this person is 6.
Personal Year Number: The personal year number is calculated based on a person's birthdate and the current year. It represents the energy and opportunities that will be present in a person's life during a specific year.
To calculate the personal year number, you need to add the digits in a person's birthdate (month and day) to the digits in the current year. Then, reduce the number to a single digit or a master number (11, 22, or 33). For example, if someone was born on July 7th and it's currently the year 2023, the calculation would be: 7 (July) + 7 (day) + 2 + 0 + 2 + 3 (year) = 19, and 1 + 9 = 10. Since 10 is not a master number, we reduce it to a single digit: 1 + 0 = 1. Therefore, the personal year number for this person in 2023 is 1.
Stay tune for more numerology posts.
xoxo
J.
#numerology#expression number#destiny number#soul urge number#life path number#personal year number#self discovery#numbers#master number#astrology community
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Profiles in Villainy
Tomura Shigaraki
The vile and hateful leader the diabolical League of Villains, Tomura Shigaraki was born with a special super power (or quirk) that was all but destined to lead him down the path of super villainy. This power enables him to turn any solid object that is within his reach to dust, including both inorganic matter as well as living tissue. He additionally possesses a host of augmented physical and intellectual attributes.
Growing up with a highly abusive father, Tomura cultivated a harsh, nihilistic attitude. He came to hate the world around him. In particularl he hates super heroes, especially All Might for being the so-called symbol of peace. During his battle against the heroes, Tomura expresses his deep hatred against society, stating that they did not help him when he needed it most. Tomura also hates anyone who admires All Might like Izuku Midoriya. He and Izuku would go on to become arch rivals of one another.
In his earlier appearances, Tomura wore a unique costume composed of thirteen disembodied hands that covered his face and acted as a type of armor about his body. Although not explicitly spelled out, these hands seemed to symbolize both his past experiences of childhood abuse as well as how his hatred acts as a kind of shell or armor that hides the sad and traumatized soul within him.
Actor Kōki Uchiyama provides the voice for the villain; with actor Eric Vale voicing the character in the English language dub. Tomura Shigaraki first appeared in the twenty-eighth episode of the My Hero Academia anime, airing on July 15th, 2017.
#Profiles in Villainy#Tomura Shigaraki#My Hero Academia#League of Villains#Kōki Uchiyama#cut-out#paper art#Villains!
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Sirius Connection
Talon Abraxas
SUN-SIRIUS CONJUNCTION
Sirius is first visible just before sunrise around July 4th, and takes about 20 days until the Sun and Sirius rise together, referred to astronomically and astrologically as the Sun-Sirius conjunction. There are an equal number of days, 20 or so, coming down from the conjunction as the Sun and Sirius separate in their rising times. This means the period of this event affects us for about 40 days each summer.
In astrology, a conjunction is when two planets are at the same degree of zodiac at the same time. This produces an amplification of each of the energies. It is generally considered the beginning of a cycle of some type, and this day is the ‘seed’ that will result in the flowering of energies of these planets.
Sirius has long been considered a source of our spiritual energy, bringing with it growth and change. The transit of Sirius, and especially the day of conjunction, are a challenge, forcing us to expand and change our ways of being. It is usually considered negative, but, depending on one’s consciousness and outlook, it can also be a day of joy and fulfillment.
Sirius A and B
sun sirius risingNo study of ancient Egypt is complete without its endless references to the heliacal rising of Sirius. Sirius is a multiple star system. Sirius A, B and possibly C, most easily found by tracing the belt of Orion downwards.
Sirius A is the largest and brightest of the system and Sirius B, is in an elliptical orbit around A. Sirius B is very small, almost the size of Earth at 7,500 miles across, but contains almost the entire mass of our sun. It’s surface is 300 times harder, and its interior density is 3,000 times greater than that of a diamond. It spins on its axis very quickly, at 23 times a minute. This weight, size and spin combine to generate massive, powerful, magnetic fields.
While it is classified as a white dwarf star, it is more like a mini black hole, so heavy and dense that very little visible light comes from it. While there is little visible light, there is a lot of light and activity when viewed in an x-ray telescope.
Sirius C
Discrepancies in the orbits of Sirius A and B indicate there is a third star, Sirius C, that has not yet been found by modern astronomy. The Dogon people of the Sahara Desert in Africa have a religion based on ancient knowledge of the Sirius system.
The Dogon believe Sirius to be the Ancient Mermanaxis of the universe, and from it all matter and souls are produced in a great spiral motion. They tell of their ancestors, the Nommos, amphibious beings, coming to earth from Sirius for the benefit of mankind. The Nommos are also called Masters of the Water, the Monitors, and the Teachers. The Nommos were more fish-like than human, living in the water, and passed on great spiritual and astronomical knowledge.
Modern science tells us that life came from the waters. Many cultures from around the world tell stories of fish people, including mermaids and mermen.
The six sided star is known as a religious symbols of Hebrews, called the Star of David. The Hindus called the same symbol the Mark of Vishnu, who was reportedly from an ancient race of half-human half-fish beings, the divine Matsya.
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July Showers, August Flowers
Angst, barely any comfort, AU Mouse?/Konig? mentions of child death, unplanned pregnancy, etc. More info below
So, a couple times I had mentioned how Mouse became sort of an OC to me, and for whatever reason, the angst was really hitting me last night so I whipped out this. Brief timeline/overview
Lucretia "Mouse" Jehnnings- US Marine Sniper Scout and Clandestine Insertions specialist gets partnered up with Julius "König" Doss, insertions specialist for the Austrian Special Forces in 2014. The two work well together, slow burn, they fall in love, you get the idea.
In 2015, Mouse gets shot in the field and her comrade, the newly promoted Captain Price, tells Hans "Golem" Blaustein that Mouse died in combat (so she can assume an espionage role.) Hans relays this info to König, who abandons his plans of retirement and eventually works for KorTac under the assumption that Mouse is dead. König pulls a similar stunt and 'dies' legally to continue his work. Mouse is told that he is dead as well. They both live under the assumption that the other has died.
In 2023, Mouse joins SpecGru under the insistence of Captain Price. She recognizes König in the field and this is the first meeting in years. They're like. Late 30s here, but they met at mid 20s.
Sorry for the long explanation! I promise it makes more sense in my head. Anyways, very self indulgent and has no bearing on C/M/D, but, functionally, Mouse and König are the same characters, just with identities explored.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shuts the door behind her with a characteristic quietness, and she doesn’t so much as turn to the entryway as she redoes the locks behind her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mouse lies.
König knows it’s a lie. This is how Lucretia lies. With her eyes cast down, her lip bloody in her teeth, her elegant shoulders collapsing in on her small frame. All these years later she doesn’t look all that much different, perhaps it’s his own age talking but there’s something so effortlessly charming in her smile lines and crow's feet. The red light leaking down onto her in the dim room creates a shadowy contrast on her face. He can still count her freckles. She never got her nose corrected, it’s still slightly crooked. Her lip scar, the one he tasted when it was fresh, has healed itself into a satisfying silver sliver.
But for every similarity to his Maus, this Mouse carries a difference. Her hair is a little thinner, it’s certainly longer than he ever knew it to be. She has a much larger scar that strikes through her right, but still unharmed, eye. She has more ear piercings and tattoos littered about what little skin he’s had the privilege to see.
She’s dressed to the nines in her combat uniform, it’s unlike any he’d have known her in a near decade ago. It’s dark, it’s stylized, she’s littered it with little insignias of herself. A dagger symbol rests on her tac-vest guarding her heart. His own heart wonders what look her face would make if she were to see the dagger he got on his own sternum, a sullen memorial to a long-dead lover complete with edelweiss insignia and her favorite poppies.
This is Mouse. Not Maus. Not Lucretia. He tries to separate them in his mind.
He fails, he just wants the woman in front of him in his arms again, no matter if she’s different than how he knew her. She’s still Mouse the Sniper, she’s still the muse of every late-night memory that haunts him, still what he fights for, still what he wants.
“Price told me,” König warns. His body starts to shake. He doesn’t know what answer, if any, he wants.
“Yeah well. He told me you were dead.” Her wonderful, honey-brown eyes pierce daggers into his. In this light, she looks like some chthonic succubus, ready to steal his soul and spit his discarded body out, bloody, but still alive.
“Hans told me the same of you.” He says. What he means is I died when they told me as much. I haven’t been alive since I found out Lucretia Jehnnings died from a gunshot to the abdomen. Krueger had to peel me off the floor. I bought a ring for you. I was going to ask you to be Lucretia or Jenny Doss, it didn’t even matter if you took my last name as long as you were mine. I haven’t felt that way since you died, hell I haven’t been a person since you left, just this monster. I want to kill Hans and put his body at your feet. He lied to me, you’re alive but I’ll never forgive myself for our time apart.
She shudders and unwraps her make-shift gause face mask from her hands and re-wraps it in an idly attempt at comfort. He remembers when she used to do the same with her bandana. So much is different, but nothing’s really changed, now has it?
“How did he tell you I went?” She asks, eyes still trained on their target. He swallows the bile rising in his throat. She is breaking apart at the seams, but he will not let her think he is too fragile to hold her together.
“Abdomen. Gunshot.” He clips out, short and breathless. A humorless laugh escapes her lips in return.
“Someone died from that all right,” she says, through tears and hiccuping laughter. She slips her sniper’s cowl off her shoulder, exposing her right forearm. She steps closer to him and, just like all those years ago, he lets her approach him, all too weary to scare such a lovely prey animal off.
She exposes the arm to him. Between the scarring, intentional and otherwise, pure black flowers curl in between themselves. Edelweiss, poppies, morning glories, forget-me-nots, and baby’s breath tangle around a name and date. Augusta.
When he looks into her now overflowing eyes for permission, he slips his hood off when she nods yes. He expects confusion, ire, resentment, disgust, and a million other things to cross her face when she sees him again, the monster that he’s been without her.
Instead, she silently cries harder and shudders when he presses a few sad kisses to the tattoo. He breathes in her smell and soaks in her warmth as if to remind himself that she really is here and this isn’t just his deepest fantasy played out in the night again. She still smells like cinnamon and mint. She’s still warm to the touch.
“Would you have told me if you knew I was alive?” Anger rises in his stomach, at Price, at Hans, at the US and Austrian governments for perpetrating such a lie, but not at her, never at her. He pushes it down, resolved to know that he will make all the conspirators pay in due time. Right now, he focuses on the bittersweet joy of having his own life back in arm’s reach.
“No, I-” she shivers and digs her nails into her arm so fiercely he worries she will draw blood. “I couldn’t face you.” She backs away from him and he lets her retreat. It pains him to lose contact but he knows chasing her will only compound the hurt.
Still, his mind reels in confusion. What reason could she possibly give to have him be upset? He wants to twine her in his arms somewhere far away, to never let her go, to shield her from every future injustice dished out by a world that has already battered her so badly.
“Why?”
“Because I failed, Julius!” She shouts, body shaking and voice trembling. “First I failed as a soldier, I put myself into some stupid fucking situation and got shot. Then I failed as a woman because I didn’t even recognize- who wouldn’t fucking know? How could any woman miss that?” Her loud voice dips into quiet pain and she sinks to her knees in front of him.
“And lastly, I failed you.” He follows her onto the floor and sits in front of her, listening to her line of reasoning, no matter how badly he wants to shout at her about how wrong she is.
“Lucre-”
“No, Julius, I did. I failed you, I thought, this is awful, but I thought-” She takes in a shuddering breath and her words find a steadier cadence. “I thought to myself, ‘at least Julius is dead. At least I don’t have to tell him how badly I fucked up. At least it’s all my fault, at least they’re alr-” she chokes and takes a moment to collect herself. “At least, you could hold her when I couldn’t. At least you could take care of her when I clearly couldn’t and didn’t deserve to.”
He cannot hold himself back anymore and he lunges at her to grab her in his arms. She knocks over and he pins both her hands above her head and steadies her gaze to his with his other hand guiding her chin.
“Don’t ever say that again!” He shouts, some new angry passion thrashing at his ribs to be let out into the world. “You did not fail, I am the only failure here. If I had known, I never would have let you suffer alone!” He hisses. She closes her eyes and more tears squeeze onto her cheeks.
“But you didn’t know-”
“And neither did you!” His chest heaves and his heavy heart hits the floor and shatters when she opens her eyes back to his. Now it’s his turn to fall apart, he lets her wrists go and he lays down on his side, maneuvering her body to lay with him the same way.
She still fits perfectly in his arms after all this time.
He cradles the back of her head into the juncture of his heart and jaw. One of her hands finds his cheek and strokes it. “I am sorry,” he prays into the cold room. She nuzzles closer to him and whispers it back.
Once her trembling stutters to a stop, she unwinds herself ever-so-slightly from his grip and traces his sightline to the exposed tattoo.
“I’m sorry, I had no clue what you would have wanted. It was August 1st and I thought, well Julius Caesar, Caesar Augustus, and…” She trails off and her gaze falls to somewhere on the floor. He strokes her cheek as he turns her eyes back to his.
“Augusta Doss is a perfect name.” He whispers, arms embracing her closer to him yet again.
“She was perfect,” Mouse sobs into his chest, shaking like a boat battered by a summer storm.
He never liked Price and was always at least a little weary of Hans. At this moment, König can think of only one thing he wants more than to rip them apart with his bare hands for what their lies have kept him from and done to his love, and it's to keep holding her until she stops crying.
“Just like her mother,” König responds, holding her steady like a rock holds steady in the sea.
#char: julius doss#mouse/konig#char: lucretia jehnnings#anyways#yeah this is so fucking sad I am already sorry for writing it :)
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4th July
Page 25,26,27:
"It was quite a night, I have to admit. Only thing I can wrap my head around about this is, that I expected it. I knew it would happen, just didn't know it'll happen like this specifically. You were sleeping over last night, I was jittery all day before it because of the mare excitement it caused me, not because I was lonely in need of company, it's because you are truly something. You're confusing, you confuse me all the time, like a wall is all I can describe you as. You're expressive in your own way, I see that, you're in no way barricaded from your emotions, as it looks like, but yet I still feel it's something you tend to put up for the sake of others and not yourself. I knew I won't find anything if I look deeply into your eyes the way you like, or hear it in the tone of your voice, or see it in twich of your mouth, flap of your hands, tap of your leg and posture of your back. That's where that wall is, in front of your soul so no one can be genuinely let in. No one has ever saw you cry, not even Barnaby, so I thought, maybe I can make you crumble the wall one day and see what's inside. No one builds a wall around something that's nothing to hide. It sounds selfish and curious, I know that, but one can stay put for so long, you need to let even the strongest chain relax and let go of all the pressure it might be holding. So it doesn't snap, since it's not indestructible.
You came over with that relaxed smile you always own, nothing seemed wrong really, I had rather high expectation placed on my shoulders for that night, it was my secret little goal.
The night went nicely and you were happy with relaxing activities we took on, I got us everything to paint, bake and have a movie marathon. Classic thing you did with your friend on a sleepover, conveniently so it was things you found the most. I won't say that one thing lent to another, no, trough the whole night I could see the pure joy radiating from your body and words, but yet I caught you staring sometimes with your mouth agape before it closed, you were restricting yourself to talk. But you wanted to talk, you wanted to talk to me because you knew that I know, you thought that no one waited so long to find pieces of you before.
We were listening to music from my barely used gramophone, songs from the golden days of old. We talked with a cup of camomile tea with honey added in, to make us relax before, sleep? If we were gonna sleep, at the time I didn't know. It started to feel like i was failing, I wasn't upset at all really, it wasn't a deadlined project or a task, just a goal I thought would be beneficial for both. But with my giving up for that night, that's when you broke.
I noticed how your breathing fastened just a little and you thought over your sentences much more, you wanted to get 'the' theme on board. You asked me if I'm really here, and I was confused but didn't say no. You asked if I am willing to listen and I answered positively so.
I asked my classic 'what's wrong?', you said that it was something unusual, that something wrong was going on. You said something is not letting you feel like yourself and that you felt exhausted restraining it, hiding it away so no one can even guess that you're going through something. You looked numb and your eyes were on the floor, you said you are scared of what might happen to you in your own Home. You looked at me like you were looking at a bedroom wall, like I was nothing that can judge and am a place you can be venerable. Your smile didn't budge from your face until you decided to finally let it fall, the symbol of you masking all the sadness and exhaustion up.
You let the loudest sob that was enough for me to feel the pain it radiated in a physical form, you started to cry more as your walls brick by brick crumbled. I sat besides you as the it continued on, we forgot to turn the lights on from the movie we watched before, only sounds I heard was tv static, soft music and your loud sobbs. Eventually you scooted closer, letting me touch you as your cries didn't stop, I embraced you the closest I could in a way it's comfortable. Your body shook, the moment you were close your loud sobbs became screams, not of fear, nor agony, just pure intensity of your own emotions that you didn't allow yourself to feel. But when you did, you did it like it's the first and the last time you'll get to do such a thing. Because of it all I cried on my own, I didn't expect it to feel so painful.
You sleept in my bed last night, looked into my eyes and I realized how different your gaze feels now, your eyes red and bloodshot. They felt distant, sad and tired, you felt so open in that moment.
I don't know from where to go now that it happened, I just hope it didn't see. "
-Felix
Hello lovely people💕💕💕
So here's this little thing I might start doing where we're able to take a little look at Felix's journal where he talks about some happenings in his life or his feelings. They will be randomly put in and probably won't follow any sort of order (´。＿。｀)
I hope you like it thought!!!I put as much effort as I could with my limited time
Love you lovelies 💕💕💕
#how does one tag#digital art#welcome home#oc#oc stuff#welcome home oc#horror project (not mine of course)#party coffin#welcome home fanart#digital fanart#wally drawing#wally#wally darling x oc#wally darling#wally darling fanart#artists on tumblr#fypシ#fyp#tumblr fyp#journal#welcome home digital fanart#welcome home wally darling
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My New Book About three Brave Americans
On August 25th 1914, a group of young Americans joined the Foreign Legion and “with a cowboy swing” marched through Paris, wildly cheered by the crowd. They were the first Americans in the Great War. I have written the intimate story of three of those young men:
• David Wooster King - a 21-year-old dropout from Harvard and son of a rich businessman whose family can be traced back to Mayflower.
• Alan Seeger - a 26-year-old poet and a dreamer from New York and a family of highly educated intellectuals. His ancestors too, can be traced back to start of the American nation.
• Eugene James Bullard - a 19-year-old entertainer and boxer from Columbus, Georgia. His father was born a slave and his mother was Creek Indian.
King ended up as an officer in the US Army chasing German spies in Switzerland in 1918. Later, he became a modern global adventurer, met rulers across the world and was sent to Casablanca in 1941 as the very first OSS agent reporting to President Roosevelt.
Eugene Bullard too survived the war years. He was wounded at Verdun and invalided out of the French Army but despite all odds he became the world’s first black aviator. After the war, he married a young French woman and settled in Paris where he opened a bar. In the roaring 20s he was surrounded by every artist and intellectual of the day from Hemingway to Louis Armstrong. Bullard fought for the French again in 1940 before he was wounded and had to flee to New York with his two children. Here he was ignored except by the first lady Eleanor Roosevelt. The French never forgot him, and Bullard ignited the eternal flame at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris in 1954 and was kissed on both cheeks by President Charles de Gaulle.
The third legionnaire, Seeger, was not so lucky as his two comrades. He was killed during the Battle of the Somme on July 4, 1916. However, six weeks earlier, he wrote the famous poem, ‘I Have A Rendezvous with Death’ which was to become his legacy. President Kennedy’s daughter Caroline recited it for her father six weeks before his fateful trip to Dallas in November 1963, and the poem has since inspired a line of American presidents during the 20th century. It has become an indestructible poetic lifeline linking France and the United States of America.
The three young Americans, rooted in the nation, each has an amazing story to tell. But when their adventures are brought together we get a three-dimensional perspective on how America broke its isolation from the world and started to unite as a nation during the 20th century. The three men represent different pillars of the American soul, and their lives and dreams symbolize the story of how America became modern and remind us of the strong historic ties between France and America. Most of all, this book is a fantastic saga full of brave men, great adventures and terrific sacrifices that bring hope and a new direction in a time of human division.
You can buy the book at most online bookshops and at my publisher Pen & Sword.
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