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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 year

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And WHO exactly is Sam Smith?

Opinions will no doubt be divided when it comes to answering that particular question, I'm sure, and not all favourable either. From my iconoclastic viewpoint, as ever, I would say he, yes, HE has mastered the ability to infinitely crawl up his own backside and out again more successfully than anything Houdini could have achieved as an escapologist.

Why? Because Sam Smith in reality is nothing more than an illusion. A manufactured figure who would be an absolute nothing if it wasn't for the spotlight of television and a pawn in that particular game that sucks up to HIS own vanity. You see, years ago in order to become a 'celebrity' you'd have had to work your way up from the bottom of the ladder, touring the clubs night after night, building your following, and then getting noticed if you were lucky enough and proved your talent. Even though that still didn't guarantee any promise of real success to superstar level.

If you've never heard of a rock band called 'Dumpy's Rusty Nuts' then count this as your introduction to them. Not that I'm in any way an expert fan or anything, I'm simply aware of their existence and the fact they've been around a very long time and are hugely, and I mean hugely successful. They've built their fanbase from sheer hard work, trudging up and down motorways to venue after venue, night after night, and relentlessly pursuing their passion for playing to audiences that range from hundreds into stadium numbers supporting much bigger artists, and can quite rightly qualify for the title 'legendary'.

Sam Smith, on the other hand, is nothing more than a manufactured puppet of an industry that views him as a mere product of its own making, and to be honest, I feel sorry for HIM as much as I do for those who have bought into HIS brand of egotistical bullshit. Like so many acts before HIM, he's become a creation who serves a purpose until such time as HIS bubble bursts and the next potential to extensively hype turns up. Like the majority before him though, he's so far up HIS own rear end with ego that he believes HE is something HE isn't, and somehow God's gift to a music industry that quite frankly couldn't give a damn as long as they're making money out of HIM while it lasts, and so, consequently the entire entertainment industry will mollycoddle him, blow constant smoke up HIS backside by sycophantly telling HIM how wonderful HE is because they know HE'LL buy into their grovelling, doff capping, yes sir, no sir, three bags full, sir, have whatever you want that makes you happy, further ego-inflating bullshit as everything about him screams ME, ME, look at ME, and how wonderful 'I' believe 'I' AM!

Just how people don't see through this bullshit amazes me. Have we really, honestly, and actually turned into a nation of such sheeple that we've come to the stage where we simply and readily buy into such bullshit with eyes wide closed?

How is it that we are so, so easily led as to not think that everyone in the background of this Sam Smith phenomenon isn't in it for what they can get out of it? The manager who takes a cut, the agent, the record label, the publicist, the costume designer, the make-up artist, the accountant, the tour manager, the personal assistant etc, etc - and all rubbing their hands from the smell of potential lucre as long as HE remains flavour of the month.

Now, I'm not against anyone earning an honest living, and neither am I suggesting there is anything dishonest within the Sam Smith circle of business interests, I simply find this entire sycophantic industry that relies on having to manufacture talent in order to sustain itself quite false and putrifying, and yes, while I concede to the fact that Dumpy's Rusty Nuts will also have their outgoings in terms of fees to management and an agent, and probably others along the way of their career they are more celebrity than Sam Smith can ever hope to be without the ego and publicity machine that has hyped HIM to faux-stardom, and in some circles at least, will live to achieve more in their forty plus year career than HE can ever hope for.

#john langley bristol writer #john langley author #john langley blog #john langley bristol #sam smith #Dumpy's Rusty Nuts #capitol #songs #tumblr #google #john langley death's door diaries bristol #death door diaries

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 4 months

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Language, Gen X, LGBTPQRS - whatever!

Having already lived through 'ist' and 'ism' being tagged to almost everything by the millennials, my awareness of just how much our language has become diluted - When familiar terms misappropriated so as to become a catch-all, rather than being specific to origin became luminously apparent. This degeneration of a generation appears to have continued as if hereditary, with terms such as 'hatred' and 'hate speech' now having the broader translation of disagreeing by means of simply feeling offended, which, in itself, can mean all things to all people, as if, somehow, feeling offended is mandatory.

The fact that we were all born with free will and the ability to make choices seems to have been conveniently bypassed in favour of feelings towards something, or someone, and plain common sense that we would normally apply in such circumstances is bordering on non-existent nowadays. If I happen to strongly disagree with a female's perspective on something for example, then another catch-all term comes into play - 'misogyny,' and I'm somehow prejudiced against women. Utter bollocks!

I've also noticed quite starkly how nowadays it's become almost de rigueur for people to take it upon themselves to be offended on behalf of another, without realising just how patronising that can be in practice, with white, middle-class, young people engaging in a BLM march and it becomes all about them, and how they feel, when bizarrely they outnumber those who are black, as just one example. The overbearing sense of entitlement by Gen X in particular, from one point of view could be argued that it reflects a sense of freedom of expression and confidence in belief. Although conversely, there is also the perspective of this being more of an underlying insecurity in an increasingly less secure world Notice how terms such as 'crisis' and 'emergency' have become popularised so as to yet again be attributed to anything where 'situation,' or 'challenge' would otherwise suffice.

You see, going back a generation, or three, the pre-millennials were, by and large, brought up to be more robust, resilient, and stoic because pre- World War two it was almost embedded into the bloodline that nothing was handed down on a plate, there was no bank of mum and dad, parents were parents - and not 'friends' to their children: and nothing in life came easy. Now, while I'm no advocate for war, I cannot help but think that maybe another widescale war would hit the reset button. Because as things stand right now, if there was a war Gen X would be lining up to buy adult nappies off the shelves, so to speak.

It's become a very selfish world, I've noticed. A world of self-entitled, me-me's. None potentially worse than that faction of the LGBTPQR whatever movement: and more particularly the 'T' element. Now, to set out my stall from the get-go, I have absolutely nothing against trans people per se, for several years I had around 180 trams (MtF) friends who were regular visitors to my home and would come and stay for days at a time. On occasion, I've administered their hormone injections when asked and offered advice when relevant questions that would further enable and empower their journey forward were put to me.

To all intents and purposes, these were chics with dicks, and despite them all having received breast implants they were always very vocal as to still being male through bone density, pelvic shape, and muscular strength. Yet, see them in the street and you would absolutely believe that they were female in every sense. So, it came as no surprise that their comments towards what we see as Gen X, 'faux' trans, scruffy appearance wannabees, with facial growth while wearing a dress kind of gender centaurs, were less than favourable in content. Do people have the right to dress as they choose? Absolutely! It's arguably just their seemingly visual indolence that sets them apart from the 'real' trans people. So, if anyone chooses to dress like a female, good on them, just at the very least put some bloody effort into it because, generally speaking, women, for the most part, take pride in their appearance, wash their hair regularly, and don't go out looking like a WTF!

This, and other factors when it comes to Gen X heavily suggest a general malaise towards life where it's believed through learned helplessness, that self-entitlement is the magical key that opens the door to nearly everything, and in its naivety of such belief, the Gen x trans faction has created a degree of toxicity towards itself. Why? In the main because their entire world appears to be all about 'me'. Now, this is where we get down to 'brass tacks' interesting because it reverts back to language and how it's been manipulated to whatever collective narrative suits at that time, and it it doesn't fit people will soon find a way to shoehorn it in. So, people choose to 'identify' as …………

The keyword here is 'identity,' and identity is something we assume based on, for the most part anyway, the immediate environmental influences that we accept as most resonating with us as we grow through the various stages of our lives. So, as a for instance, when I was a child I clearly remember playing various roles as a doctor, fireman, soldier, and cowboy because those were the roles I identified with, largely due to television, and as I grew older my identities evolved again, and again, and again to where I am now as an older adult. However, identity does not make us who we are because identity is a construct: an idea or theory containing conceptual elements, and therefore entirely subjective because there is no empirical evidence to support it, other than it being someone's fantasy world: and based on life being a big stage in which we all play a part, the Gen X trans would be there in costume, and possibly look like something between the audition rejects of the Rocky Horror Show, and a drag queen's worst possible nightmare. Basically, the misfits.

Now, remember when I referred to the Gen X trans faction creating a "degree of toxicity towards itself"? Well, It will come as no great surprise that the reason for this is due to their mission creep to manipulate the law into believing that their concept is real. So, from that, my question is how can an entirely fictional concept ever be regarded as affording people equal rights, and the politicisation of such? Because if it does we're suddenly finding ourselves in a never-never land where the law of this country is concerned.

Let's say that tomorrow I decide to identify myself as a dwarf, and change my name by deed poll to 'Mini-Me.' Now even though I'm a little over six feet tall, as this would now be my legal identity, if anyone dared to challenge that I would be within my legal right to claim that I'm being discriminated against under the Act, and put forward an argument to say that compared to those who are far taller than me I'm dwarfed by comparison, because there is no counter-argument against that. It's an incontrovertible fact.

Okay, while I fully accept that was a random example straight off the top of my head while typing and there are far better examples of the point I'm making, you'll be intelligent enough, I hope, to envisage where I'm going with this.

There are people around the world who have paid thousands and thousands, if not their entire life savings to look like their favourite celebrity, and they'll walk, talk and adopt every possible mannerism of that person. Does it transform them into their favourite celebrity? Absolutely not.

Again, it's entirely conceptual. So, while I'm not in any way uncomfortable with people living the life they choose to live and for them to be happy with it, the message is for Gen X to check their egos and not get carried away with their delusional selves. Out of all the genuine trans people I've known, not one of them has ever made a big deal about it, would never dream of politicising it; or expecting some kind of special treatment by being trans. In fact, they are predominantly the most confident and happiest people among those I've met from all walks of life.

#john langley #bristol #john langley blog #john langley author #john langley bristol writer #trans community #john langley tumblr #death's door diaries #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #queer #queer community #nonbinary #gen x #gen xers #millennials #baby boomers #gen x here #self identity

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 year

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A 4* Book Review, no less!

Coo-eee! The first review of my book on #onlinebookclub. Published on Amazon Kindle. #goodreads

4 out of 5 stars.

"John Langley had a challenging life, starting at a young age. Despite his harrowing experiences, he was able to recognize his potential and utilize his thinking faculties to overcome his obstacles.

In his book, Langley tells a touching story that made me question the unfairness of life. His experiences were relatable; I had faced rejection and had to take charge of my life at a young age. It's always easier to tell the story, but the experience is hellish. Honestly, I love how expressive the author was throughout the book.

Reading this book taught me the importance of opportunity, intuition, and initiative and how they contribute to success. It also reminded me that nothing is impossible. In addition, it emphasized the importance of avoiding judgment towards others, as they may not have had better options. Reading Langley's story was comforting, reassuring me that I am not alone in the face of difficult times. It reminded me that better days are always on the horizon.

Finally, it is worth noting that the book contains excessive profanity and raw sexual language. As a result, this book may not be suitable for younger readers or those who dislike reading such content. However, despite the abundance of errors and profanity, the book is still an interesting read.

I would recommend The Sexual Philanthropist by John Langley to individuals who enjoy autobiographies and those who seek to explore the sex industry. I would also recommend this book to individuals who may be facing rejection, homelessness, or other personal difficulties."

#john langley #bristol #john langley blog #john langley author #john langley bristol writer #deaths door diaries bristol #bristol post #johnny rockard #spirituality #amazon books #goodreads #kindle books #book recommendations #book review #bookstagram #books and reading #google

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 year

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Change of blog name.

To bring this blog into line with my book 'The Sexual Philanthropist' the name and address of this blog have changed to - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sexual-philanthropist-author

#john langley #bristol #john langley author #john langley blog #john langley bristol writer #deaths door diaries bristol #bristol post #johnny rockard

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 9 days

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KLGBTQ, and Why Education So Fails Children Nowadays.

Mostly because, I suggest, the Scottish Government is completely losing the plot!

What the hell's KLGBTQ, you may well ask. In fact, it doesn't exist, other than the fact I've just made it up to cement a point that's very relevant. I'll come back to this a little later.

For now, though, I'll start by saying what a huge fan I am of Rudolph Steiner education. For those who don't know who Steiner was, well, he was an Austrian philosopher, social reformer, architect, and esotericist born in 1861.

His studies as well as his interests were diverse, to say the least: artistic media, such as dance, drama and architecture led him to create the Goetheanum in Switzerland that's home to the world centre for the Anthroposophical society where, to this day teachers, farmers, doctors, therapists, and other professionals meet for conferences. Why this particular group of individuals in particular? Read on.

Steiner sought to find a synthesis between science and spirituality ("spiritual science")and worked on biodynamic agriculture and anthroposophical medicine that later in his life led to the founding of the School of Spiritual Science. The School, which was led by Steiner taught holistic education, with the intent of developing pupils intellectual, artistic, and practical skills, with a focus on imagination and creativity, performing arts (speech, drama and music) the literary arts and humanities, mathematics, astronomy, science, and visual arts, social sciences, youth and agriculture, as well as meditative exercises.

After the First World War, Steiner founded a number of schools, the first of which was known as the Waldorf School, which later evolved into a worldwide school network. In addition to this, he also founded a system of organic agriculture, now known as biodynamic agriculture, which was one of the first forms of organic farming and is still much used to date in terms of sowing, weeding, and harvesting to utilise the influences on plant growth by the moon, because in the presence of light plants direct their growth toward the light. Whereas, at night plants growth is unaffected by the daytime tendency to reach for the light and energy resources focused on photosynthesis, and grow taller by avoiding heat stress and water loss.

So, how does this all come together in terms of the modern education system in Britain?

According to The Steiner philosophy, the human being is a threefold being of spirit, soul and body whose capabilities unfold in three developmental stages on the path to adulthood: early childhood, middle childhood, and adolescence. During this, the child will benefit from physical, emotional, spiritual and cognitive development at their own pace and time. Children are encouraged to make choices and find their own ways of learning in free and creative play in which they develop social skills and empathy, of which the first seven years of this pathway are crucial.

During these early years while the children’s brains are still developing the focus is on creative play, and within this they will learn the coordination of the limb system and development of the senses and nervous system, while also being taught about what is heard, felt and experienced, as the major impetus for the development of being able to follow a decision or action to completion, in order to solve problems, use imagination and develop creative play that is later required to achieve literacy, numeracy, creative thinking and self-actualisation in adulthood.

From seven to fourteen years of age, children are able to create mental pictures and interpret the word through feeling, and at around the age of fourteen and the onset of puberty, they are taught to develop a capacity for abstract thinking. Until seven their education totally revolves around how to learn in creative ways that both prepare young minds to slowly open up to higher levels of learning to what will become the more formal, statutory curriculum, as well as allowing the natural development and awareness of feelings, realising they are distinct from others and, as such, they begin to consider the feelings of others.

Steiner also stated that sex education should not be discussed in schools. He believed that these topics "take their course below the surface of conscious life" and are not topics for the classroom. He further stated, "The worst possible way of dealing with sexual impulses, however, is to talk a lot about these things, especially with the children themselves, and to put all kinds of theoretical ideas in their heads."

Furthermore, Steiner posits, what educators should do is awaken in the child at a young age a feeling for beauty. He states, "When you lead children to feel the beauty and the glory of sunrise and sunset, to be sensitive to the beauty of flowers and to the majesty of thunder and lightning, when, in short, you develop them in the aesthetic sense, you are doing far more for them than if you were to give them the sex education which it has now become customary to give children at the earliest age and which is often carried to absurd lengths."

Steiner's methodology for slowly introducing the subject of sex education more naturally and creatively is to look at aspects of the natural world, in which children are guided towards continually heightening their building blocks of learning, and how the complex ways in which gender functions within the animal kingdom. Many worms, for instance, are hermaphroditic, while there are genders of frogs it is determined not by genes, but by the temperature at which the egg develops. Other examples explore the plant world. What these developing young minds are not thrown into is human sexuality as if they were far older in age.

It's important to recognise that when a child is of a very young age with so much to learn about the world around them as it is, so, the very idea of prompting them to compartmentalise themselves by a label is clearly absurd as it is confusing when being taught how to carry the baggage labels of adults with their own sex and gender ideology. It's perfectly fine to raise awareness in children nowadays, and I don't believe for one moment that anyone would put forward a counterargument to this. What concerns me is that children are being almost force-fed information to the point they become kidults before being allowed to slowly make their way up the travelator of growth into adults. Everything about education in the wider scope nowadays appears to be a production line, and, if you've ever seen the Pink Floyd music video for 'Another Brick in the Wall' you'll know exactly where I'm coming from.

So why, oh why, therefore, does the Scottish government feel the need to introduce some quite frankly, barking mad idea whereby Scottish primary schools have recently appointed 'LGBT champions' to engage with students as young as 4 years old about their sexuality, including whether they identify as gay, lesbian, or transgender? They are FOUR YEARS OLD!

Just allow them to be children, and to laugh and play, and DO NOT allow this insane idea of indoctrination to continue. While Steiner wasn't in any way dismissive of issues relating to gender, sexuality, or other matters to do with sex education overall, he did at least promote allowing children to be children as a tenet of his teachings.

From the author of ‘The Sexual Philanthropist’ published on Amazon/Kindle -https://amzn.to/3TzI5AQ

#john langley bristol writer #john langley tumblr #john langley blog #john langley author #bristol #scotland #trans #lgbtq community #children #parenting #education #rudolf steiner

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 27 days

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It's Easter Weekend and I'm Stuck on a Crossword Clue. 2 Across - Q. Where Was Jesus Nailed?

It's a Jesus Weekend, and in my role as the ‘Almighty Gob’ I preach comments in typical form from the pulpit of satire. Amen.

Does anyone know what was actually good about Friday? Severe hailstones, perhaps? Our NHS still in dire straits, people continuing to use food banks, and migration sorted?

Never mind, it's all good on Good Friday because Jesus died for us, apparently, and this alone makes all the hardship and misery we now face in the world worthwhile. Knowing what we all know now it should come as no great surprise he was nailed to a cross at that time for what would become arguably some of the greatest crimes against humanity by humanity.

As someone who was brought up as a Roman Catholic, you may well be surprised to read such a bold statement from me. No doubt there will be those who deem me as blasphemous, even a heretic committing the most egregious of cardinal sins, and for this, I should be cast into the fires of hell forever.

To this very day, I still struggle to get my head around the fact that some people in the world choose to believe what's probably one of the best human-control fairy stories ever written. Let alone places called heaven and hell.

Anyway, here we are. It's Easter weekend and I'm stuck on a crossword clue. 2 across - Q. Where was Jesus nailed? This might take a while as it's several years since I last attended church and nearly all memories of religion have since faded. I may well have to put it down to another of the remaining unanswered anomalies. Such as how an ethereal being managed to have a son in real life; so the story goes, through a virgin woman. As stated (among a great many other things) in my book 'The Sexual Philanthropist' such an event nowadays would be a complete sellout at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

Better still, it would take one heck of an illusionist to put on a show where he was nailed to a cross, died, and then emerged within a few days full of life and firing on all cylinders as if nothing happened. Pretty damn impressive even by Netflix programme audience popularity. Beat that, Harry and Meghan.

So, what's changed since the Romans vacated Jesus’ territory back in the day? Not a lot really, as two-thousand years or so later quite a few issues related to religion lead the way where conflict is concerned. Such as the location of holy sites and acrimonious divorce-worthy narratives which totally screw the potential for any peace between Islam and Judaism. On one side of the religious divorce battle, extreme Zionists make protestations regarding how the Jewish state should be, while their Islamist co-respondents have their own version of liberating all that's holy to the Zionists, and preach hatred and violence as a means of winning the divorce battle by use of terrorism - and for which they are now proscribed as a terrorist organisation.

All of which brings me on to a growing bunch of airheads who deserve to have their colons cleansed using bleach and wire wool, as it's entirely pointless going any further up their bodies to their heads because compared to the more sane and rational of people in the world, these airheads have spaces in their brains that any alleged signs of previous rationality and commonsense appear to have vacated long ago - if ever there in the first place.

These are the pro-Palestine gormless idiots who espouse the boycott of Israeli goods and services and make two short planks look like the most sophisticated computer technology in the world while using their Apple and Android phones to touch base with other idiots of the same ilk and do their best to influence more normal people into not buying Israeli goods and services, they do so completely oblivious to the fact that the phones they are using include technology developed by Israeli companies. Will these pillocks give up their phones in protest though? Somehow I think not. Oh, and don't use Windows apps either folks. Guess why?

Any chance these lunatics may have a firewall installed on their computers? Take a guess at this too. If your mental capacity has provided you with the means to follow so far and you are not a boycott numpty, it shouldn't take long.

I bet many of them also drive cars, provided they could afford one in the first place. Well, it's more bad news, I'm afraid. It looks like webuyanycar.com and auction sites will be busy in future when the idiots put their cars up for sale because the navigation system was more than likely based on Israeli tech. Oh, and speaking of transport, I wonder how many will cancel their holiday flights abroad this year, since our airport security systems are packed with Israeli technology.

And before I forget. Should any of them, their relatives and friends have cancer they may as well go home, take shit loads of morphine and die in bed. Why? Because it's more than likely cancer treatments offered by the NHS will have been invented in Israel. Equally, anyone who has a stent implanted should get it removed with immediate effect as a boycott protest against Israel, which, by a strange coincidence also invented it.

Ever heard of a 'SniffPhone'? Probably not, but it's a piece of medical equipment that can actually 'sniff out' diseases. It works like a breathalyser and detects cancer of the gastric and lung varieties, as well as Parkinsons, dementia, MS and many other illnesses. What about the 'Pillcam', heard of this? Who'd have guessed it was an Israeli invention in the shape of a minicam that takes photos of the intestinal tract?

Still, as long as the boycott idiots remain all self-satisfied and happily virtue-signalling in blissful ignorance, why should they let facts get in the way of personal feelings and emotional incontinence, huh? Anyway, whatever else these lunatics do, they should not take my sardonic and non-medically trained advice. While remembering at all times that any such attempt at shortening their lives should not be conducted without first seeking the advice of a medically qualified practitioner, and preferably one outside the jurisdiction of Geneva.

With all that said, I now find myself back where I began, whenever that was two thousand or so years ago, and what was good about Friday, again?

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 month

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Punctuation Marks, and Jesus.

Palm Sunday, and Not a Palmist Open Anywhere!

The 'Almighty Gob'.

Well, as I continue on my quest to learn how to write proper, I've now successfully reached page 547 of 'Punctuation Marks - And How To Use Them'. It won't be long now before I'll be on 'Grammar for Dummies' - and something called 'Syntax'. No, me neither. Ah well, never let it be said I'm someone who would deny myself a challenge, and if you bear with for the next decade my ambition to write for 'The Sunday Sport' may just come to fruition. In the meantime, I'm still hopeful of receiving the 'Joe Biden Literacy Award' for achievements in blogging.

Well, what do you know? Apparently, today is Palm Sunday and there isn't a palmist open anywhere! So, it looks like the reading of my life, heart, marriage, head, and money lines will have to wait for another day when no pun intended, I have less time on my hands. Almost coincidentally, it is a day when Catholics everywhere, and some even of the Roman variety, attend church for a ceremony that can involve processions and the distribution of blessed palm leaves. In some churches, the palms are saved and burned into ashes to be used on Ash Wednesday of the next year - and although there is no clear evidence to support it, Catholics in Amsterdam enjoy a similar ceremony in the spirit of Jesus, and call it Hash Wednesday.

Anyway, according to folklore, Palm Sunday commemorates the Christian belief in the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem, when he was greeted by cheering crowds waving palm branches that set out the ground along his path. Well, at least traditionally that's how it went. Whereas nowadays you're more likely to find people marching through the streets shouting "Free Palestine", with poor old Jesus not even getting a look in. Mind you, this particular ceremony is usually only reserved for a Saturday, in all fairness.

How do I know so much, you may well ask? Well, to be honest, I'm what is called a 'lapsed Catholic'. Actually no, that isn't true at all. I'm more of a prolapsed Catholic. You know, prolapsed, like the rear end of a gay male. Or, not to be taken as sexist, the front lower middle region of the female.

Yes, you've got it, that part. By the way, was any of that offensive, and should I move hastily on now? Okay then, I will. We'll perhaps leave Jesus until this time next week when he's over 2,000 years old, and Christians the world over will be celebrating his birthday with chocolate eggs, because, as we all know he was rather partial to a 'Celebration'. Although, perhaps not so much the one where he was nailed to a cross - a tradition still seemingly carried on by courts in Saudi Arabia from time to time, and Sudan, I believe.

Old habits die hard, huh?

On reflection, I think I've done rather well this week. So far, at least, I've probably gained several fatwahs from our Muslim friends, and now I face being completely excommunicated by the religion of my childhood. Can life get much better, I ask myself? Well, it sure ain't for the want of trying.

Meanwhile, life will go on, as per usual, and for the time being, other stories will tickle my humour genes, because every hour of every day issues are pretty much deliberately hurled at me to catch and make light of in the moment, for the delectation of me, and you.

In an increasingly insane world where stupid people who deserve to have their toenails clipped by a chainsaw live among us and are allowed to vote, isn't it good to know that the one real salvation we have is a sense of humour that will enable us through any, and all situations when put to work?

So, I find myself full circle now, and back where I started. Punctuation marks, and Jesus.

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 month

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Genderbenders, take note!

Yes, the 'Almighty Gob' has returned for another sideways swipe at those who should have their brains wired up to at least twenty car batteries.

Wouldn't the 'Bullshit Times' be a great title for a contemporary newspaper?

It seems that every day there's an issue where there needn't be one, and it's

always bullshit caused by someone having hurt feelings. Such as the wimpish

world this has become nowadays. However, on the plus side, it does give me

something to write about.

So, today’s offerings toward people who deserve to have their heads connected to

at least twenty car batteries as a wake-up call are as follows. The limp wristed,

adult nappy-wearing, haven't a clue as to whether they're Arthur or Martha,

Gen x,y, and z, fuckwit, oh so politically correct, anal wipe, gender

ideologoes employed by our uncivil service, who've put a lawyer employed

by an arms-length department of DEFRA in the frame for allegedly making

gender-critical comments at work. Such as stating her belief that only

women have periods.

If I'm incorrect in my belief, would any man out there who is reading this

and suffers from excessive bleeding through their penis every month as

the uterus sheds blood, mucus and cells please make yourself known.

Forget Dianne Abbot's threat of shooting, which was, of course, a turn of

phrase we all use from time to time in jest, when those who really do need to

face a firing squad of gunge-filled supersoakers are the pillocks who

disagree that biological sex isn't binary and immutable.

To add insult to injury, the lawyer at the centre of this bullshit,

Duemmer Wrigley is due to appear at an employment tribunal where she,

yes she, is being accused of harassment for daring to claim that being

gender-critical was a 'protected belief', and the claim against both

her and DEFRA further suggest that the department nurtures an

"intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating and/or offensive

environment". In all honesty, have you ever heard of such bullshit in

your life?

Of course, it goes without saying that behind this there'll be some

ambulance-chasing type lawyer out to further their career by making

a name for themself if they win the case, and grovelling to the complainant

instead of telling him/her/it/animal/vegetable/mineral to get a grip and

go do one.

Next, I turn my attention to the 'all about me' driven, egocentric,

self-entitled, gender-bending, parenting screw-ups, and loony left,

liberal-leaning, mindless moron academics and campaigners who

promote gender identity ideology in classrooms. Hopefully, that

is a politically correct, and fully inclusive description of all

involved in this lunacy. If not, then I apologise and will try to

do better in future.

Anyway, to my point. In the words of Pink Floyd - "Teacher, leave

them kids alone". If you turn back a few blogs you will note that

I've stated pretty much all of the things that are wrong

nowadays started at the beginning of this millennium, when being

candid with you, our previously stoic and robust society began to

disintegrate into the monumental clusterfuck it is now.

I've dedicated a few pages to this grating subject in my book

'The Sexual Philanthropist'- (https://amzn.to/3TzI5AQ), and totally

agree with the views of JK Rowling, and many other sane, rational

people on the subject, which have again been further explored in

my previous blog posts.

Trans activist lunatics are somehow being allowed to run riot

where this subject is concerned, and dare a teacher go against

such indoctrination, or call a girl a boy and the proverbial will

instantly hit the fan, with the teacher drummed out of the job -

and possibly an entire career.

If, by now, you haven't yet noticed the link between the two

subjects of this blog you need to read again to understand

exactly how the millennials and their progeny should not, in any way,

be allowed anywhere near positions of responsibility and decisions

where feelings overrule fact, and a good place to start would be

for one, the biological difference between men and women.

Thank you for reading my Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it with others who will also enjoy my satiric overview of life.

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 1 month

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I think I'm starting to like some of this stuff about Allah's followers!

Now, I have to add upfront that I am not a religious person by any means, and converting to any religion just isn't my thing. However, I believe certain aspects of every faith bring value to our lives in one way or another.

I closed the previous blog post pondering where my mental processing journey would take me next as this previous post left much room for further and deeper thought on immigration and multiculturalism.

It would have been easy, almost too easy to jump to all manner of hypotheses and conclusions regarding the seemingly endless stream of illegals landing on our coastline pretty much on a daily basis and continue that narrative in the here and now: and who knows, I may well do at a later date.

As I recall, it was the word 'integration' that prompted the chain of thought which led me to address what Muslim migrants may bring to the British table, so to speak, and what we could take from their culture that would best benefit Britain as we head into the future and enable both sides to reach a satisfactory, and workable compromise, while upholding our Britishness and not becoming another Muslim country with Sharia laws dictating how our government must be led via religious doctrine.

Call me visionary, perhaps, but I don't believe I'm the only person seeing the opportunities in terms of law and order, and the benefits to our economy. Take for example shoplifting. The simple act of cutting off a perpetrator’s hand would save the retail sector as a whole over £7bn per annum in stock loss alone while sending a robust deterrent message to others. Just think about it for a minute. People complain about the rising cost of living and food poverty. So, let it sink in that a £7bn saving at the retail end would be a considerable saving to consumers if food prices were lower as a result. It's a no-brainer.

In addition, adopting such a measure would also go some way to appeasing the thousands of Muslim-owned 'corner shops' who struggle to provide a quality retail experience for their customers, and when robbed must momentarily give thought to what would happen to a perpetrator in the country of their ancestral heritage where theft of any description is punished by amputation. I can see this also serving as just punishment for graffiti idiots who randomly tag their names, spoil our environment and cost councils thousands of pounds of local taxpayers’ money to clean it off, only for it to be replaced by further wanton idiocy within days.

Another heinous crime, that now removes this conversation away from Muslim law, is nonetheless something I believe a great many people would be wholly in support of, and this is the castration of paedophiles. Although I quite like the idea of hanging people in public places, the cost benefits of castration against hanging are imminently more beneficial as there's no need for the expense of a stage and gallows (including labour costs to build). On top of this, it would also remove the cost of prison time for those who are convicted of child sex crimes. There again, rethinking the gallows concept, I suppose if it were a public stage, when hanging isn't taking place the area could be hired out for other public performances, such as death metal gigs, and similar. So, it could realistically turn a profit, whereas there's no money to be made from castration that I can think of at this moment.

Never mind, moving on to other matters I'm trying hard to veer away from the idea of stoning people to death as I think the public is way too volatile by nature and we'd end up in a situation where it wouldn't just be stones, it would be anything around the house that's redundant and fit for the tip. Like old, broken window frames. Perhaps an old ironing board, and nan's old tea set. So, in reality, there would be a head popping out of the ground surrounded by flytipping that's really bad for the environment. Unless, of course, local authorities were made to provide areas for public stoning.

In which case, the public could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I guess that just leaves the criminally insane, serial rapists, and people who just like to repeat murder because there's nothing worth watching on the telly, or Ant and Dec occupying Saturday nights and trips to the jungle simply drove them to it. Oh, and terrorists as well, let's not forget! Surely there has to be some cost-saving benefits to the public here, right? Have I covered throwing people off of buildings (Sharia stylie) yet? One moment please, while I read back.

No, apparently I haven't. Now, to my best knowledge, it costs somewhere around £1.000 per week to keep a prisoner incarcerated. So, if someone is found to be criminally insane, a serial rapist, or a multiple murderer and serving only a twenty-year sentence, for example, by my childlike mathematic ability that works out to over a million quid. Or, put another way, what I aspire to win on the lottery each week to keep me in fags, hot chocolate, and serve three cats that cost me a fortune the longer they live as I seem to spend more on them than I do on myself.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, throwing people off of tall buildings. Now, forgetting gay people, I completely understand people's revulsion to any suggestion of the sort. However, on the plus side, the mere mention of child killers, and serial rapists ending their days in such a way would get the attention of just about everyone. In fact, I'd go as far as to say there'd likely be quite a big audience for such an event, and perhaps tickets could be sold at maybe £10 each, it would more than cover any outlay and show a healthy profit that could be put towards filling potholes in our roads, for example. Other suggestions are welcome, by the way.

It goes without saying, I hope, that any suggestion of exclaiming "Allahu Akbar" immediately before launching anyone toward their death would be highly inappropriate, as not only would it give false hope to our Muslim friends that we are fully adopting their ways, I can see issues around plagiarism too. Or worse still accusations of 'cultural misappropriation'.

Let's not forget the flak white women get for daring to have their hair in dreadlocks. So, I've come up with a suggestion which, I accept, may need a little more work, but I'm sure you'll get the gist of it, even in its rough draft stage, to the rhythm of that well-known classic, Humpty Dumpty.

"Noncie-noncie sat on a wall.

Noncie-noncie had a great fall.

Ambulance services and supporting policemen,

Couldn't put noncie together again".

Okay, I admit it has its flaws, and before all you equality and diversity jobsworths start foaming at the mouth about it being sexist and non-inclusive of women, it had to bloody rhyme, alright! Now, get over yourselves and move on. Although having said that, further thought needs to be given to equality while being somewhat sensitive around the small issue of the predilection, some, but far from all Muslims have for under-age females in this country. In this respect, and in the spirit of equal opportunity and cooperation, I feel it only fair that Muslim kiddy-fiddlers should be treated with the same proportionality as their white counterparts, with no exceptions, and off the building ye go.

Afghanistan, Pakistan, and other such places this is not. Here, we would adopt a more responsible attitude towards terminating people, and we have to give thought to health and safety rules, crowd control, first-aiders on-site for those who may faint as the body journeys downwards, and loos for those who may experience uncontrollable bowel movements or bladder irregularities, etc. In the UK we wouldn't just throw people off building tops willy-nilly. Things have to be properly planned, such as screens around where the body may land so as not to cause distress to the squeamish in such a way that they may seek a refund on their ticket cost, and more.

All in all, I think with a little work in consultation with our Muslim friends, and some very robust terms of reference in any proposed agreement between the parties, I reckon we could be on to a winner: or at the very least a starter for ten. I think that's pretty much it really. Oh, except for one more rather simple, but again somewhat sensitive issue that would go some way toward better relations.

First of all, a disproportionate amount of your brothers are under the impression that taking a boat ride from France to England will solve all their problems, only to end up in a camp somewhere while their status is verified. It would appear that a great many of your Islamic faith are being highly disrespectful to Allah, in as much as they are denying their faith by converting to Christianity under false pretences. Obviously, their commitment to Christianity would need to be tested in the same way as would a Christian to Islam if it were the other way around. So, the proposal is that rather like to television programmes 'Big Brother' and 'I'm a Celebrity' they are challenged by eating roast pork dinners, pork scratchings, ham salads and sandwiches, and a few pints of beer to wash it all down.

If they can survive one week of this, and recite the Lord’s Prayer and a few Hail Marys, sing 'Abide with Me' and 'Jerusalem' then baptism and full conversion to Christianity will look very promising for them. If, on the other hand, they fail all of this, then with regret, they'll be put on the flight list to Rwanda and given a thousand-pound consolation prize. Seems fair to me, wouldn’t you agree?

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john-langley-bristol-blogger · 2 months

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So, What Numpties Deserve To Be Disembowelled With A Metaphorical Pitchfork Today Then?

From John Langley Bristol, author of 'The Sexual Philanthropist' available on Amazon/Kindle.

I never cease to be amazed by the fact I manage to retain a good sense of humour when most in this world seem to be losing, or have already lost the plot, or, are still rummaging to find a plot to lose in the first place for reasons yet unbeknown to them.

You see, up until about five minutes ago, I had no idea that the UK government website had an entire section devoted to acronyms. Trust me, it's true, and you too can refer to this via something entitled 'Style guide - A to Z - Guidance.' I rather like the term 'Style Guide' as if it's somehow couture in presentation and of such meaningless drivel I can imagine John Cleese being behind naming it such as a piss-take on the establishment that some idiot in government took seriously and adopted. Unlike the 'Ministry of Silly Walks' which, much to my continued disappointment, should have been made mandatory, and Boris the latest star turn.

Ah well. As far as acronyms go, I'm totally convinced that there is someone in the bowels of Whitehall who never sees the light of day and is fed and watered through a hatch in the door, and kept there for the sole purpose of inventing acronyms to suit whatever purpose is required of him - because it has to be a mad professorial type who looks like Gandalf on amphetamines and has an entire library of dictionaries from around the world at his fingertips from which to access the correct acronym for all occasions.

Today I woke up to news of the latest one, NEET. As in 'Not in Education, Employment, or Training. Perhaps it simply involves far too many letters, but as hard as I search the government website I'm surprised to find no reference at all to an acronym for B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T - yet. However, I live in hope.

Anyway, we have NEET but no TIDY. So, NEET it is then, for now. So, who exactly are these deemed not to be in education, employment, and training? Apparently, those who were so freaked out by the pandemic that they no longer want to attend school, or engage in any activity that involves leaving the security of their own home - such as for employment, and who seemingly spend their time engaging in activities such as TikTok and popping copious amounts of antidepressants that, by all accounts, have seen a huge rise in uptake that according to the 'National Institute for Cost Effectiveness', aka NICE, created a whole new generation of pill-poppers in the eleven to seventeen-year-old age group. Mind you, this report does date back to 2022, and I cannot imagine things getting any better since then. Meanwhile, the shareholders of the big pharma companies are rubbing their hands in glee from a whole new generation of addicts helping along their even healthier dividends and a few extra boxes of Montecristo Number One to enjoy while celebrating the extra dosh pouring into their already bulging bank accounts. Excellent work!

Not that I would ever wish to cast aspersions on the post-millennial generation, and neither would I be in any way cynical either, because if you've been reading my blog posts for any serious length of time you would fully recognise that such things are beyond me. However, I have to say that the mollycoddled progeny so enjoyably wrapped in the finest cotton wool available to humankind by parents who see their little darlings as 'friends' rather than offspring haven't exactly helped toward creating a generation of robust x, y's, and z's.

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