Yeah applying for jobs feels dehumanizing. Yeah society is crumbling. Yeah we are all oppressed by the ruling one percenters. Yeah the world is full of cruelty. But you Cannot Stop Me from baking fucking bread with my Beloved Friends. And you can't stop me from drawing flowers. And you can't stop me from moving worms out of the sun back into the dirt in the shade. And you can't stop me from asking for help even when my past experiences have tried to convince me to never do so again. I am STUBBORN and I will CONTINUE LOVING

Help! I'm a Perfect Genius, but This Potential Employer Asked Me a Boring Interview Question!

Ask A Manager, 13 Feb 2024:

I was rejected from a role for not answering an interview question. I had all the skills they asked for, and the recruiter and hiring manager loved me. I had a final round of interviews — a peer on the hiring team, a peer from another team that I would work closely with, the director of both teams (so my would-be grandboss, which I thought was weird), and then finally a technical test with the hiring manager I had already spoken to. (I don’t know if it matters but I’m male and everyone I interviewed with was female.) The interviews went great, except the grandboss. I asked why she was interviewing me since it was a technical position and she was clearly some kind of middle manager. She told me she had a technical background (although she had been in management 10 years so it’s not like her experience was even relevant), but that she was interviewing for things like communication, ability to prioritize, and soft skills. I still thought it was weird to interview with my boss’s boss. She asked pretty standard (and boring) questions, which I aced. But then she asked me to tell her about the biggest mistake I’ve made in my career and how I handled it. I told her I’m a professional and I don’t make mistakes, and she argued with me! She said everyone makes mistakes, but what matters is how you handle them and prevent the same mistake from happening in the future. I told her maybe she made mistakes as a developer but since I actually went to school for it, I didn’t have that problem. She seemed fine with it and we moved on with the interview. A couple days later, the recruiter emailed me to say they had decided to go with someone else. I asked for feedback on why I wasn’t chosen and she said there were other candidates who were stronger. I wrote back and asked if the grandboss had been the reason I didn’t get the job, and she just told me again that the hiring panel made the decision to hire someone else. I looked the grandboss up on LinkedIn after the rejection and she was a developer at two industry leaders and then an executive at a third. She was also connected to a number of well-known C-level people in our city and industry. I’m thinking of mailing her on LinkedIn to explain why her question was wrong and asking if she’ll consider me for future positions at her company but my wife says it’s a bad idea. What do you think about me mailing her to try to explain?

Sir,

You have been wronged in the most grievous of ways by a coven of retaliatory, self-aggrandizing women who have failed in the extreme to recognize your brilliance, your talent, and above all, your general superiority.

Of course you should mail this mediocre "grandboss" on LinkedIn to inform her of the deep offense she caused you by interviewing you in the first place, let alone doing so using a boring question — indeed, you have a moral and professional obligation to do so in order to preserve your honor and the honor of scores of men like you who have never done a single solitary thing wrong in their lives, ever.

But I beg you to consider doing more. A single, private message to one incompetent bitch may not convey to the necessary parties the depth and breadth of the situation. Many, many people have important lessons to learn from your experience, and I encourage you to share it widely. Consider making a public LinkedIn post, and ensure that it is shareable across platforms. Depending on your financial resources, a billboard with your name, professional headshot, and contact information could go a long way toward ensuring that everyone in your industry who needs to know just how you handled the way these women treated you, does know about it. I hope that in your continuing job search, you are able to connect with potential employers who have a much better grasp of all you bring to the table.

I've started to build a bookmark file of jobsearch sites to check regularly, and part of that is looking around at employers local to Chicago. On a whim I went to the careers site of one of the larger corporations headquartered here, and while I was poking around to see what kind of requirements they have for what kind of jobs, I came across the worst tabletop campaign ever:

We’re looking for a data product expert who’s also the ultimate puzzle/dungeon master. Your quest: work with a group of diverse stakeholders to discover key problems to solve and drive consensus, adoption of data standards. The treasure? A faster, more resilient and reliable data system...

That's terrible and funny all on its own, but it gets even better when you know what Large Evil Chicago Corporation I was looking at:

McDonald's.

The piece of job search "advice" I hate the most is the one where you're "supposed" to tailor your resume to the jobs you're applying for. "Use the verbiage in the job description!!!" Oh yeah? What if I'm fucking desperate for a job and applying for things in a variety of fields? You want me to customize every fucking resume for each of the eight dozen jobs I'm applying for? I hate job searching. Tenth level of hell.

I HAVE MY FIRST JOB INTERVIEW TODAY I AM SO NERVOUS

Hey bitches! How useful is LinkedIn? I feel like it could potentially help with finding jobs, but also, putting your work history out in the open like that feels very vulnerable...

We think it is indeed useful for finding jobs (and seriously no other reason). Your instinct to protect your privacy is wise, but in this case a little unfounded.

If you're truly uncomfortable with it, it's ok to go without LinkedIn! But if you're actively job searching, it's one place where recruiters and hiring managers will look for you. Think of it as an online resume.

Here's more on LinkedIn and related advice:

Our Best Secrets for a Successful, Strategic, and SHORT Job Search

Did we just help you out? Tip us!

The dog training place texted me yesterday and said that they would reach out to let me know if they wanted to move forward with me or not

Pls pls pls wish me luck

Looking for a job is more exhausting than working an actual job 😭😭😭 I'm tired of this shii

Ok bearing in mind that when my boss cut my pay by like 40% this year I was like ‘so none of the work I did like bringing in horses at 2am in sudden deadly storms ever mattered?’ And she was like ‘no lol get f*cked, also I’m cutting your hours’

4pm yesterday

Me: hey, one boarder who babys her horse but doesn’t like him to have a blanket on unless it’s below freezing, can I please blanket your horse since there’s a 14% chance of rain. Just in case, so he’ll be warm.

Her: no, it’s not cold enough. If there’s a chance for rain just bring all the horses in.

Me: we’re short staffed, the boss has been after us for using too much shavings, half the remaining staff are sick (spent 3 hours at urgent care with one of them today after she smacked herself in the head with an ice pick), I’m not bringing all the horses in for a 14% chance when it’s above freezing. Everyone else will have a blanket on. Do you want me to bring your horse in?

Her: no leave him out with no blanket.

2am, today

Her: I can’t believe you have calls silenced!? I’ve called 9 times! It’s cold raining!

Me: huh, that’s weird. It notified me as soon as you texted twice. Anyway, I’ll go check on him.

Every other coworker: hey she called us in a panic so now we’re all texting and calling you too.

Me: great. Wonderful.

Most annoying coworker (who lives an hour away and is sick): are you bringing all the horses in?!

Me: probably not. I’ll handle it. Go back to sleep.

I go outside. It’s misty. Horses don’t really seem bothered. Nobody is shivering despite being slightly damp around their blankets. I bring in that one horse and give a few others some extra hay to settle them down.

Most annoying coworker: are you sure?!?!

Me: yeah, they’ll live.

Most annoying coworker: Really sounds like you should bring them all in.

Me: no, and lay off telling me how to do my job at 2am. I told you I had this. If you want to do it for the glory—knock yourself out.

Most annoying coworker (who has always tattled on me to the boss for the dumbest nonsense): bro no need to catch an attitude.

No, no need to put up with this shit.

ffs people. I’m probably gonna catch hell about it all day tomorrow. God forbid perfectly healthy horses get slightly damp or even shiver a bit. All the old or ill ones were already in regardless.

Can’t get out of here soon enough. Can’t even go back to sleep now because the gutters are dripping and it’s psyching me out. Should’ve just brought them all in and let that annoying coworker have twice the stalls to clean. Except likely as not she’d call in sick and guess who’d end up having to do all the work. Yeah. She didn’t even do half the work she was supposed to yesterday, and I had to cover for ice concussion girl and try to catch everything up. Should’ve said no when the boss asked me to do that too. What’s she gonna do? Never buy me another pizza?

Let me just say, looking for a job and simultaneously trying to upend the whole previous career is a harrowing experience(((

The temptation I didn't anticipate - there are nice and easily achievable job prospects, all around good options but those are the things I just don't want to do anymore(

Should I stay strong and unemployed pursuing a new path, or should I just give up and work where someone will easily hire me, that's the question.

On this note - you can still commission art from me;)

Help! The Ungrateful Youths of Today Don't Appreciate the Value of Anything, and by 'Anything' I Mean the Worthless Shit I Am Trying to Sell Them

Ask A Manager, 12 May 2023:

Several years ago I was frustrated with the way people went about looking for jobs. I’m a small business owner and even before running my own company, I always networked. Through networking I’ve managed to do so much. Today I run six networking groups. Again, several years ago I created a t-shirt designed to network for you. It lists various fields, each with a checkbox by it, and comes with a small sharpie so you can check off the type of job or career you desire. By wearing the t-shirt everywhere you go, it starts the job seeking conversation. I marketed them inexpensively to college grads. I went to colleges, job fairs, and even graduations. Not one t-shirt sold. I was so angry. I was on popular talk shows and in the paper and still nothing. Today I sit with every size t-shirt in my garage. Many ask why I don’t still pursue this idea. They are the ones who got the idea and believe in it. Perhaps I was ahead of my time. I marketed towards college grads who texted as a main form of communication. However, today communication is even worse. Young adults can barely look someone in the eye. Please tell me what your opinion is of my t-shirts. I hoped people would wear them daily and maybe while filling their gas tank this would start a conversation that would change their lives forever. Networking will always be the way to get what you need. Referrals, physicians, mechanics, plumbers, electricians, landscapers, housekeepers, financial advisors, accountants, babysitters, trainers, real estate agents, tutors, and whatever I have missed. Am I wrong? Would my product help those unable to network?

There is one reason and one reason only that your revolutionary clothing business has failed to see the success it so clearly deserves: young people today are appallingly poor communicators who, for reasons that likely include video games and participation trophies, are actively unwilling to appreciate the awesome one-on-one human connections that can only be made by going about life wearing a t-shirt and hoping someone reads it and decides to enter into a business relationship as a result. Yes indeed, it is specifically and only the modern youths who have refused to purchase your t-shirts who are very, very poor at understanding how to build valuable and meaningful relationships with other humans. There is definitely not anybody else here who is bad at communicating.

Every single person on planet earth who is under the age of, say, 25, lacks the foresight and vision to appreciate the radically lucrative possibilities of wearing the same t-shirt every day every single place they go. Every single person who didn't buy one of your shirts did so because they are young and stupid and don't know a life-changing idea when they see one. But you do! Because you are old and smart, which are the same thing.

After all, you are great at networking and have managed to do incredible things as a result of your great networking skills, such as running six networking groups. If that's not proof positive that networking works, what is?

The only way to know for sure whether your shirts will help poor communicators understand exactly how bad they are at connecting with others may be to try your product out for yourself.

Hi, Sam! Hoping for some insight as an adult-y, job-experience-having person. Do you think it's possible to get a job as a front desk receptionist with zero real work experience, other than some art commissions in the past, and some time in college but no degree? Or am I better off setting my sights on entry level food/retail jobs to start off with?

So much of it depends on what experience you do have and what you're willing to put on your resume or like...I don't want to say lie, but let's say...gently obfuscate about.

But also, por que no los dos? You can apply for both at the same time. I used to apply for a variety of jobs, and I just had a set resume and a form letter of interest that I'd slightly alter based on what was requested in the job listing.

The real question is whether you have the skillset to work front desk, and whether you can demonstrate somehow on paper that you do. Do you have experience answering phones, working in a call center? Do you know your way around Office suite? (You don't have to prove how, you just have to say you do and then have the most basic of chops to back it up.) Do you have customer service experience? Etc. etc. etc.

Most front desk positions require a college degree, which is frankly ludicrous, so you may find yourself facing a lot of applications that want you to list your degree information. If you can get through with just listing your college experience, I'd do that. But remember, apply for any job where you have even a hope of getting to the interview stage. If you have 60% of what they're asking for, I'd apply.

So here are some questions to ask when building up a resume and a portfolio of your skill sets for any job: Have you ever worked a volunteer job? (You don't have to mark it as volunteer on your resume.) Did you do any kind of workstudy job while you were in college? (This is real work and really counts!) Ever worked for a family business, or done work for a friend, or have you done reasonably extensive beta-reading/editing for fanfic? That's freelance, baby!

So more important than "should I apply to this" is "How do I apply to this reasonably". Applying for any single specific job once you've found one shouldn't take that long, an hour at most; I've got more about that here under the "cover letters and resumes" section. Especially for jobs like front desk, a good cover letter is super important; it's basically a writing sample that tells them a lot about your ability to communicate, your drive, and your intelligence, whether or not that's fair. Remember to emphasize your skills and never, ever mention or excuse your deficiencies; you want to tell them why you're good for the job, not pre-emptively argue with them about why you're not.

I do also recommend, if at all possible, you sit down with your college transcripts and work out how many credits you have. College credits are usually pretty transferrable, and it's worth your time, if you're able, to find a way to complete a degree -- an Associate's degree, particularly through an accredited community or online college, often only takes two years and if you come in with existing credits, probably even less. Studies indicate that having any degree of any kind increases your chances of being hired and also of earning more over your lifetime. I know not everyone has the ability to attend or complete college, and I don't think everyone should, but if you can, even if it's just one course a semester and the degree's a long way off, do consider it.

Good luck, Anon! And hey, if you do end up finding that retail/food customer service is where you're getting offers, there's no shame in that, that's good solid skilled work that will give you more to put on your resume when you're ready to move on.

I need a way to reach inside the computer screen and slap REALLY hard in the face the people who write the kind of stupid articles that go like "Oh you're depressed bc you aren't finding a job? The solution is to find a good therapist and hire a career coach" WITH WHAT MONEY IF I'M UNEMPLOYED YOU STUPID IDIOT??

Not my new job not only being a pyramid scheme but also the bosses being fucking zionists

hello bitches! i just recently quit a job of 8 years, my second job ever, and i am finding myself feeling lost about the whole employment situation on account of being relatively young and inexperienced lol. i just had an interview with a tech job that said they'd get back to me in 2 weeks, but i dont want to wait that long to find out if they even want to have another interview with me, so i'm considering submitting some apps elsewhere - but what should i do if i hear back from another job *before* hearing back from this initial job? i'm stressed! thanks in advance!

My sweet summer child, getting one too many job offers would be a fantastic problem to have.

First, here's how you should follow up with the tech job you want:

I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up? 

Next, you should absolutely keep applying to other jobs, pretending as if you're not holding out hope for that tech job. If you get an offer, stall for a bit by asking how long you have to think about it. Worst case scenario, accept an offer, and then tell them you changed your mind if you get a better offer. This happens in business all the time, and they won't judge you for flexing your big-kid-corporate-worker muscles.

Here's more advice:

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion 

Did we just help you out? Tip us!

I dropped my physical application off at the dog apprentice place, please please wish me luck. She said she would get back to me soon after looking it over. I'm ready for rejection but I'm very hopeful that they'll see me as a good beginner.

It's in phoenix but i can do that! I can do that for the training! This is such an incredible opportunity.