Help! I'm a Perfect Genius, but This Potential Employer Asked Me a Boring Interview Question!

Ask A Manager, 13 Feb 2024:

I was rejected from a role for not answering an interview question. I had all the skills they asked for, and the recruiter and hiring manager loved me. I had a final round of interviews — a peer on the hiring team, a peer from another team that I would work closely with, the director of both teams (so my would-be grandboss, which I thought was weird), and then finally a technical test with the hiring manager I had already spoken to. (I don’t know if it matters but I’m male and everyone I interviewed with was female.) The interviews went great, except the grandboss. I asked why she was interviewing me since it was a technical position and she was clearly some kind of middle manager. She told me she had a technical background (although she had been in management 10 years so it’s not like her experience was even relevant), but that she was interviewing for things like communication, ability to prioritize, and soft skills. I still thought it was weird to interview with my boss’s boss. She asked pretty standard (and boring) questions, which I aced. But then she asked me to tell her about the biggest mistake I’ve made in my career and how I handled it. I told her I’m a professional and I don’t make mistakes, and she argued with me! She said everyone makes mistakes, but what matters is how you handle them and prevent the same mistake from happening in the future. I told her maybe she made mistakes as a developer but since I actually went to school for it, I didn’t have that problem. She seemed fine with it and we moved on with the interview. A couple days later, the recruiter emailed me to say they had decided to go with someone else. I asked for feedback on why I wasn’t chosen and she said there were other candidates who were stronger. I wrote back and asked if the grandboss had been the reason I didn’t get the job, and she just told me again that the hiring panel made the decision to hire someone else. I looked the grandboss up on LinkedIn after the rejection and she was a developer at two industry leaders and then an executive at a third. She was also connected to a number of well-known C-level people in our city and industry. I’m thinking of mailing her on LinkedIn to explain why her question was wrong and asking if she’ll consider me for future positions at her company but my wife says it’s a bad idea. What do you think about me mailing her to try to explain?

Sir,

You have been wronged in the most grievous of ways by a coven of retaliatory, self-aggrandizing women who have failed in the extreme to recognize your brilliance, your talent, and above all, your general superiority.

Of course you should mail this mediocre "grandboss" on LinkedIn to inform her of the deep offense she caused you by interviewing you in the first place, let alone doing so using a boring question — indeed, you have a moral and professional obligation to do so in order to preserve your honor and the honor of scores of men like you who have never done a single solitary thing wrong in their lives, ever.

But I beg you to consider doing more. A single, private message to one incompetent bitch may not convey to the necessary parties the depth and breadth of the situation. Many, many people have important lessons to learn from your experience, and I encourage you to share it widely. Consider making a public LinkedIn post, and ensure that it is shareable across platforms. Depending on your financial resources, a billboard with your name, professional headshot, and contact information could go a long way toward ensuring that everyone in your industry who needs to know just how you handled the way these women treated you, does know about it. I hope that in your continuing job search, you are able to connect with potential employers who have a much better grasp of all you bring to the table.

i've been lucky to work in places where women were in the top leadership positions in my career so the misogyny i've encountered has always been from external people or male peers, never from my supervisors. like the time a guy assumed i was my boss's assistant. and you know what? i used to be for the first year after i graduated! but he only made that assumption because i'm a woman. then there was the incident with my colleague last month about my salary being significantly higher than his and him thinking he's entitled to the same pay. and now this thing with the director of this company going over my head twice after he was told by my boss that he need to go through me for these decisions.

i'm annoyed that this is an issue. it's a lot worse for a many women who do not have the support of their supervisors or whose concerns get dismissed. i also hate that i had to get several friends and coworkers' opinions to confirm i wasn't overreacting.

I found one of my favorite movies on Hulu.

The Devil Wears Prada.

I'm kinda really insecure about admitting how much I like the movie because my ex said that having an interest in fashion made me seem shallow. And I don't like worship fashion designers or anything. I mean, it'd be cool to own designer clothes and stuff just cause....Well, the only designer anything I've ever owned was pair of like Sketchers or whatever. The entire time I've lived on my own the most I've ever paid for a single piece of clothing was that wasn't sneakers was $80USD.

But what I like about fashion is just the psychological aspects of color theory and self-expression through clothing. And what I like about the movie is that its a commentary on workplace misogyny and how fucked up it is that people assume women who are business leaders must be pure evil whereas male business leaders are perceived as charismatic and charming.

Jfc, I wish I knew how to explain this without sounding like a fucking bootlicker.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to watch it tonight for the first time in years so....Wish me luck or whatever.

Link to og tweet by @_slytaurean

New Year, Same Old Bullshit - Tales of a Bad Manager

I've been trying to figure out what my bad boss wants, but I made a new year's resolution to stop giving a shit about what he wants and focus on myself.

My boss is a sack of shit, as a manager of people he fails epically to develop anything other than antipathy. For all the knowledge he has about our company business, he lacks it exponentially in people skills and communication. I’ve been trying to figure out what he wants, but I am making a new year’s resolution to stop giving a shit about what he wants and focus on myself. Continue reading…

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I have to make and answer calls a lot for work and there will sometimes be weeks on end where just about every man I talk to, regardless of age, level of education, cultural or economic background, calls me some kind of diminutive pet name. Hun, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, doll, etc.

I've been overtly hit on as well. Like, they've never seen me, never met me, but decided the fact that I'm female and have been pleasant to them on the phone for 2-10 minutes is enough. 🤮

And then there are men that, when I tell them that they don't meet x, y, or z retirement for us to work with them, they'll say sexual/sexist things to degrade and embarrass me and make themselves feel like they still have power over me.

Blorbie I have a question about Nico because I’m still trying to learn all the lore and something I’ve noticed is that there were (and still are) lots of Lewis fans who like to claim that Nico was fairly disliked by the rest of the grid during his time in the sport and I feel like that’s easily disputable and I’d love your thoughts. I saw this post** and was quickly like ‘huh…’ because I’d not really looked into those claims further before but surely the fact that like half the grid constantly shared flights with him means they were friendly, no? I mean sure you could argue they just wanted free flights but everyone seemed to get along with him just fine, it seemed he was definitely involved in the banter and everything from the videos he posted during that time. I also noticed from scrolling back years that he seemed to be one of the few drivers who Kimi usually laughed with, Jenson was obviously good friends with him, I always got the sense Daniel got on really well with him and despite what sewis fans might have people believe, I always thought Seb liked him too. So is this just another example of the LH fans agendas going unchecked and taken as gospel? Did I simply fall victim to the anti-Nico propaganda? 😔

** https://www.tumblr.com/sweetpeapoppy/685938060693749760

did you fall victim to propaganda? yeah lol.

there's presscon pictures of nico looking 😶😐 while lewis and seb are giggling, probably bc nico has been asked for the 30th time that day if he enjoys losing to lewis/does he have it in him to beat him, and people extrapolate off that, that nico is a no fun frigid bitch (unlike the fun loving 4x wdc german seb) who everyone hated, cause he was too busy being jealous and evil. and mind you, this is a narrative that was peddled by sky as well, the cold clinical unfeeling numbers obsessed German, and so a lot of people's 2016 recollections is skewed by this

gif by @teandkimi

there you go. the power of narratives!

and the context to these photos

it's crazy how this game will be like "the shadow is the true self" and then have them say things they desire that the game refutes afterwards, because the genuinely transgressive aspects were included just for shock value.

kanji's shadow is not just stereotypically gay in behavior, but actively expresses attraction to men. but after the shadow is defeated the game goes out of its way to hammer in the fact that he is straight and never attracted to men (and any anger he expresses over yosuke or anyone being homophobic towards him is from the perspective of "im straight so im mad about being perceived as gay")

shadow naoto explicitly desires to physically transition. but the game about "accepting your true desires" refuses to acknowledge that. because gender affirming surgery is included solely with the intention of making the player feel repulsion for the duration of the dungeon, and then the story can make naoto "normal"

i don't feel like writing about the other party members rn but like. you get how frustrating it is.

💚

Power under Patriarchy: Fetishising 'Traditional Womanhood'

Sometimes people are surprised how especially female politicians can pontificate about traditional values while working high profile careers. Do they not see the irony, nay, the hypocrisy of that? Yes, it's a "sacrifice" to "help other women on their way to a better society" but please. If this is really how they wanted to spend their life, wouldn't they be at home caring for people?

Obviously, these women would feel terrible having to practice what they preach, as is so well personified in The Handmaid's Tale's Serena Joy. But why say it?

Simple. They want power, and they don't want to be targeted by the patriarchy.

Of course white college educated women can strive for near any career nowadays, but the penalty is constant sexism, criticism, sometimes even sexual violence. Damn it's relentless and not fun.

Except, there's a loophole.

If you build a business in a female field: childcare, baking, home decoration, housework and cooking they leave you alone. If you teach women to be perfect little homemakers and mothers for the good of all with your new gadget or technique, they leave you alone. If you promise to work for policies that'll get women out of the workforce - or at least into pink collar jobs - they let you get rich. Of course, you need to stay with the programme. You can never present yourself as a businesswoman, and you need to marry and get tf out of public after you've had kids, because that, of course, is what is 'really important'. Only when your kids are well into their teens are you allowed to re-emerge. But so what? By then you're rich. Of course that may not be at all what you want, but when you're 45 and a millionaire, you don't need to let yourself get sexually harassed for 30K a year. If you want to be a politician and you don't want death threats, stand for traditional marriage. So of course Brie Larson's character from Lessons in Chemistry switches from chemist to cooking host. That career is 'allowed', and the harassment will stop. Of course Serena Joy writes books about domestic servitude with a smile. That's allowed, and gives her a platform and influence.

I understand women taking this loophole. Who wants to spend their days battling misogyny? Maybe they're tired and want to build something, anything. But mostly it is the only place where our society accepts powerful women wielding actual power. In a tight little box saying how, say, needlework (and nothing wrong with needlework, that is a true art!) will lead every woman to eternal subservient bliss, just by virtue of it being a task for a true woman. It's always the same bullshit and we keep eating it up! Yes, warm pies are a joy and a clean house a great comfort. But especially when it comes to the women fighting to end abortion and divorce to get re-elected: they don't want an end to divorce and abortion, never did. They want a paycheck, and hope that it is big enough to move abroad when they do end up accidentally founding a theocracy. We could use that energy for a fairer society, but with the choice between a life of pushback, harassment and people stealing your credit or a fat paycheck and people leaving you the hell alone- at least from your mid thirties onwards - can you really blame women for opting out?

Women have responded to the call to study science and technology degrees at university but are being confronted by low pay, a lack of seniority, a massive gender pay gap and toxic work conditions when they enter the workforce.

The annual STEM Equity Monitor, which reports on women’s participation in science, technology, engineering and mathematics for the federal government, found that female enrolments in these subjects increased by 31 per cent between 2015 and 2021.

The report says the proportion of women enrolling in STEM degrees has edged up from 34 per cent in 2015 to 37 per cent in 2021, but completion rates have barely shifted – suggesting large drop-out rates.

Only 8 per cent of women in STEM jobs are in chief executive positions.

A longitudinal study of people who completed a STEM degree in 2011 found that 53 per cent of women earned less than $50,000 (AUD) a year. Even worse, of women who had done two or more degrees, more than 60 per cent of them were earning less than $50,000.

Despite the poor outcomes for women, governments and other sectors have for years pushed the message that gender equity in STEM was important for women and the country.

A 2021 survey of STEM professionals by Science and Technology Australia, and which has since been taken off the organisation’s website, detailed a litany of gripes, including widespread job insecurity, sexism, low workplace morale, fatigue, a gaping gender pay gap, dissatisfaction with remuneration rates, deprofessionalisation and cost-cutting.

“There is a real problem trying to get more people, especially women, into the STEM pipeline which itself is toxic,” said Merryn McKinnon, an expert in science communication at Australian National University.

“Until we change the nature of the culture of many of these organisations, it doesn’t matter how many people enter the system, we’re going to continue to have the same problems.”

my dad is a real scrooge (he grew up poor) and is the main reason i never got into makeup: he always complained it was too expensive when my mom came home with new products. i never thought of it too hard as a teenager, because then you dont earn or spend your own money. but as an adult im shocked at how costly it is. and even when i feel down on myself, im happy ive at least come to terms with my own imperfect face.

Thank you for the ask. :)

It is truly infuriating that women are expected to spend thousands of dollars per year on toxic chemicals* that'll just be washed down the drain by the end of the day.

Think about what that means for women who are financially struggling: They already struggle to gather up enough money to pay for their food and living expenses, but the fact that a large majority of workplaces expect female workers to wear makeup—and the fact that women who wear makeup are much more likely to be hired—means that they have to devote a portion of their earnings to cosmetics. That's something men do not have to deal with.

*I’m not just being dramatic here. A recent study found that about half of the cosmetics sold in the US contain toxic chemicals. I recommend reading this thread by @ms-hells-bells. Women are literally poisoning themselves for the sake of beauty and social acceptance.

So makeup is not only psychologically damaging (by making you unable to relax, making you feel alienated from the natural state of your face, making you feel that your worth lies in your appearance, etc), it is also physically damaging, costly, and time-consuming.

I’ll leave you with a quote by Sandra Lee Bartky:

“The woman who checks her makeup half a dozen times a day to see if her foundation has caked or her mascara has run, who worries that the wind or the rain may spoil her hairdo, who looks frequently to see if her stockings have bagged at the ankle or who, feeling fat, monitors everything she eats, has become, just as surely as the inmate of the Panopticon, a self-policing subject, a self committed to a relentless self-surveillance. This self-surveillance is a form of obedience to patriarchy. It is also the reflection in woman’s consciousness of the fact that she is under surveillance in ways that he is not, that whatever else she may become, she is importantly a body designed to please or to excite.”

Here's some Ashe deep lore. CW sexism, misogyny, some trauma, depression and over-all a stressful time. Read at your own convenience.

I used to work in the gaming industry for an indie company. Watching some of you react to no Silksong news brings back some horrors.

To preface: The company that I worked for was a very small independent gaming company based out of the Netherlands -- so it was a remote position. We made a few different titles, none of which were wildly successful, in large because of major design flaws (examples include: story not mattering, too much emphasis on PVP in poorly balanced titles [and making the game COMPLETELY DEPENDENT on pvp in some cases] and most egregiously, no real direction beyond 'it should be fun.')

I was hired as a Community Manager initially. My responsibilities for this job largely involved managing the forums, doing news updates, sending out (Not writing) press releases, hanging out in the chats of our games / playing the games sometimes with players, and coming up with fun events. My colleague/boss was senior community manager, and she ran a very successful gaming blog (more successful than most of our games initially -- until she closed it). Both of us were/are heavily involved in games. I am more of an RPG and horror title enthusiast and she was a big fan of RPGs as well as FPS games. We both have a pretty wide repertoire of experience combined. She was a world's top 50 raider in World of Warcraft at the time of this all going down.

I should preface: I am AFAB. I, unfortunately for me, have a very feminine voice. At the time of this all happening, I was also still using she/her pronouns. So was my colleague.

During our experience as Community Managers, we were forced to do marketing despite neither of us knowing how to do that (examples include understanding metrics, learning how Google algorithms worked, composing and distributing Press Releases as well as finding the sites to send those TO).

Here's some examples of the awful things that she and I endured under this company:

80+ hour work weeks, where we were required to detail out with time sheets daily everything we did and what the reasons were. I think I clocked in 16 hour days most days and I was required to work weekends.

On Christmas, our boss called and screamed at my colleague because she and I dared to want the day off to spend with our families (we were not allowed any holidays).

My colleague was forced to work -from the hospital- while her mom underwent life-saving surgery, under threat of being fired.

"You look like a crayon eating [r slur]" is an actual phrase that was used to describe her because of a picture she was using of herself.

We both got told, numerous times, that "girls can't make strategy games."

We were blamed for them releasing an RTS/Tower Defense title the same day as Left4Dead despite my colleague telling them numerous times that that was a mistake.

I later got promoted to Project Manager, but I was still making over $1000 a month less than my male colleague who I hired. In order to get me a raise, he had to take a pay cut. I put in more hours than he did, by his own admission, and worked twice as hard. He was questioned far less on whether or not his work was "efficient."

There are more stories but in truth, I have blocked a lot of it out of my mind. She and I both ran screaming from the gaming industry and have nothing to do with it now in our professions for a reason.

The worst part of all of this is that this is not at all uncommon. This is unfortunately very typical of the industry -- there are good companies, but you hear about these horrors lot less often than they actually occur.

Why do I share this? Because when I see you all screaming about wanting Silksong news, I want you to remember what indie developers go through. And maybe have a little empathy. Good things take time.

(No, I am not saying this is happening at a little 3man studio. I am just telling you, as someone who has worked in the gaming industry, that you should try to be a little more understanding of how hard it can be for some of us.)

Tf is wrong with my bosssssss