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grapejuicestyless · 2 months

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Linger Like A Tattoo Kiss

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: After running away from a long term relationship to chase after a summer fling, JJ is left with the pieces of what once was. He can try to get it back, but at the end of the day JJ always fucks up.(Inspired by the folklore love triangle and Normal People.)

“I really hated you for a while.”

Crickets fill the void of silence, a puff of smoke dancing from the old pot beside her, a cigarette squished out in her wilting daffodils. Her hands fist at the hems of her sweater, pulling it impossibly closer to her body, stretching out the stitching and crossing her arms to keep it in place.

“I saw a girl walk by hand in hand with this boy. He had lipstick all over his face, and I felt bad for the girl, I really did, and I had no reason to. They seemed happy enough to have each other, no wandering eyes or anything like that. I guess they just reminded me of us y’know? With the kissing and all that. Figured if we were once like that, who’s to say he won’t go and hurt her too? It’s a real cruel thing to assume, I suppose. To think love is damned just because it was for us.”

“Don’t say that.” She says it so casually that I almost miss the tears in her eyes she blinks at rapidly.

“Well we were.” She laughs bitterly.

“You always did have a wandering eye. Thought it was just people watching because I thought I knew you. It’s probably for the best that I don’t, you and your reckless thinking but you know, strangers don’t kiss like that. Almost makes me feel bad for you that in our entire life together I knew nothing about you, but then I remember what you did and I feel better for it.”

She looks up from her feet which have been crossed underneath her this whole time, shoulders pressed against the old doorframe of her even older house.

“So why are you here, JJ?” She finally asks, cardigan falling from under her arms and her fists pulling down her jean pockets.

“Why’d you answer?”

Nodding slowly, she thinks about it, smiling to herself before scooting over the threshold and swinging the door by its rusting handle.

My hand spreads flat against the chipped yellow paint, an old mark left behind from where the mail box used to be before people stopped sending letters and the metal rusted right off of the wood.

“P-please! Please, Y/n/n.”

Looking at her watching me, I see that she doesn’t hate me like she said she did, not anymore. But she doesn’t love me and I can see that too. It’s like I’m nonexistent to her, neither good nor bad.

“I know I hurt you, believe me I do. I just need you to hear me now so I can explain myself.”

“I’ll never love you again, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t expect you to. I just hope you’ll hear me and understand that I still do.” The screen door that separated the wooden one and the humid outdoors shook the whole frame of the house when it slammed shut again, her bare feet padding across the splintering wood to lead me away from her front steps.

“I haven’t seen you in months, JJ. You had all summer to make me see you and you wait until August is over? Did you enjoy spending July a bachelor too much or did you forget about me when you were six shots deep at the boneyard?” She tries to spin her anger like it’s a joke, but when she turns her head I can still see the twitching of her bottom lip. She pulls the soft flesh between her teeth to keep it still.

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” She laughs.

“You were right.” I smile back at her, but it’s strained.

“Would it be wrong of me to blame it on my father?” I ask only half serious, hands stuffed in my front pockets and feet dragging in the dirt next to hers.

“I don’t think it would be wrong. Manipulative, maybe, but not wrong.”

“Well it’s true.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes away from me.

“You don’t believe me?” I ask, eyebrows furrowed.

“I think it can be half true. Maybe, if what you claim is the reason, your father did influence you to do what you did, but he did not make you do it. You did.”

Looking at her, though she sounded like she was smiling, I find that she was not. She even looked distant, detached from the conversation and uninterested at best.

“I don’t need to tell you how he gets, but I owe it to you to explain it to you now.” She stops just short of the old hammock strung from a big oak tree and a weaker dead one. It reminds me of the one back at the chateau, only more well loved and faded than John B’s.

“You don’t owe me shit.” She acts tough but she doesn’t move either and it tells me that she really does want to listen. At least part of her, anyway.

“Usually I don’t believe the shit he says. He’s a bitter drunk, he won’t even remember what he was thinking in an hour. But when he brought up your name, I don’t know, I couldn’t not buy it a little bit.” I scratch my arm and she says nothing.

“I mean, what would he know about young love? Abusive fuck with an absent wife, no love in his bitter old heart for his only blood but damn it beats when he’s beating on me. Guess I saw myself in him, to be honest. I’m always angry, and I’ve gotten better at hiding it but I’m furious just the same. I’m afraid I’ll inherit more than his temper, I’m already halfway to being knee deep in my own shit.”

She rolls her lips between her teeth, breathing out calmly.

“I don’t feel bad for you, JJ. I wish I did, I really do, but I just can’t. You’re a nice boy, you have decent morals and a good group of friends. It’s evident in you, no matter where you get it from. You are a bad person, I won’t lie to you and tell you, you aren’t because you are. Maybe I do feel bad for you then, but not because of what you’ve done but because you’re just now realizing it.”

“Y/n/n.”

“Look, you told me to listen and I have. You told me your half but I don’t owe you any of mine. You broke it, you don’t get the privilege of fixing it.”

When she turns on her heals I can see the dirt caked onto the bottom of her feet and I can feel it too. The same feeling of running wild when you’re still so young and naive to the real world and all its issues. I can feel the dirt between my own toes even if it’s not there.

“I won’t stop trying, you know.” I call out flatly.

“I already told you, I’ll never love you again JJ. I meant it.” She sighs heavily, spinning to walk backwards.

“I don’t need you to love me, I just need you to like me again. And I won’t stop it until we laugh like we used to.”

She doesn’t talk, but I catch her smile. It looks like shes not with the way her face scrunches in the fading sunlight but her lips are too upturned for her to not be.

“You came back.”

“I told you I would.” I smile with half my teeth, a toothpick dangling from my bottom lip and a new cut caked in dried blood evening it out on the top half.

“You were never one to keep your promises.” She talks from the windowsill by the kitchen. I can see her knees just under her chest and her socks scrunched up. She’s got her bottom on the counter and some baby carrots between her fingers drenched in ranch. Crunching away at them and double dipping.

“Maybe all this heartbreak has you losing your mind. I never broke any promises, I can promise you that Y/n/n.”

“You promised to always love me.” My confidence falters, she’s got a winning smirk and her knees beneath her now. Her elbows sit on the wooden frame and her head leans over the window to talk to me more clearly.

“Who said I stopped?”

I had her, I could see it in her eyes that I had her.

Y/n was never the strongest willed person I knew, but she had dignity and lots of loyalty that made her tough to crack. Even then, years of friendship built as a foundation for a long term relationship and a steady heartbeat in her chest made it hard to stop contact all together, even if she knew it was for the best. Which is why I knew I could crack her eventually, just not this quickly.

“Well,” she sighs, throwing her legs off of the counter to rinse her dishes in the sink. Her shorts are wet on the hems from the pooling water she sat on and her shirt is faded from the sun and the quick dry cycle on her dryer, “I guess I’m the one who couldn’t keep that promise then.”

“You don’t love me?”

“J,” she breathes heavy through her nose, “I loved you for so long, even before you knew. God, I think if you weren’t so blind you could have seen it too. You might as well have hung the stars and the moon for me. I loved so hard for so long. What we had, JJ, what we have done. We’ve done so much good for one another.” She sighs, hopping back up into her previous spot and leaning in just a little closer so she can rest her head on the windows frame. Her leg dangles outside of the house and her arms wrap around the knee of the other tightly. She looks smaller like this and I can see the darkness in her eyes clearer now.

“What if I never move on?”

The question lingers in the air like the cigarette smoke that danced in the sky last night.

“I can’t make you feel something you don’t. I guess that’s the scary part. I can keep reminding you of what you did and you’ll never quit, will you?”

I shake my head.

“You know I love you.” My elbows rest against the wooden plank underneath the bend of her knee. If I lean too close my thumb would brush against her skin and she’d surely run.

“And I know it’s hypocritical for me to say when all is done is done, but there is no girl, no person that will ever make me feel the same way as I do for you.”

It falls silent between us and I can see now that her sad smile has turned into a frown, like some guilt has started to eat at her when she has nothing to feel sorry for.

“I’ll stay.” I hum softly, a quiet promise just between us, “And I’ll never leave again. You don’t have to love me like you once did, but I do think you make me a better person.”

“And if I go?” She mumbles back, eyebrows relaxing into her sunken face and slouched posture. She looks tired, a whirlwind of a spring leading into the fall taking all her old charm from her aching bones.

“Then I’ll follow you. Wherever you go, I’ll be there and we’ll be okay.”

She looks at me unsure, unbelieving and she’s smart for it. There’s not a thing I’ve proven to her that shows her I’m reliable, not a bone in my body has the ability to be that for her all the time. But I’d like to be if she’d let me again. And I would fuck it up this time.

“It’s over now, anyway. I guess it’s a stupid question to have asked when there no point to it. Guess I just wanted to know the answer. Make me feel better.”

That was the thing about Y/n, she always spoke her mind full and true no matter what. She doesn’t need to tell me why she’s said something but she always does. Even if she hasn’t done anything like she’s done now. When we were dating I thought it was because she could never stop talking, but looking back on it I guess she was never really loud. Only at parties and when she was scared. She rambles when she’s nervous I’ve realized, and I think it’s funny because it also means she can’t lie because either way the truth will come out.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.”

Silence fills the space between us again, her body fidgeting at how close we’ve gotten, breaking her unwritten rule of keeping me at an arms length.

I can see her fingertips searching for her old lighter and her pack of cigarettes. She was never really a smoker, only doing what everyone else had done but I assumed she had picked up the habit while I was away. It made me sad in a sense, not because they were being used, but because she had always been that girl in middle school who would keep them away from all of us. Weed? Sure! But she was smarter than me and most of the other kids who were broke and just wanted some relief, so I guess my heart just hurts seeing how she doesn’t really care anymore.

“Do you want one?” I shake my head no.

“Since when do you smoke?”

“Since when do you care?” The paper is between her lips, balancing on the sticky pink lipgloss she’s coated on her lips.

I shrug, looking at her manicured hands, delicate and smooth cupping around the end where the flame lights just below the end of the cigarette to keep the wind from blowing it out.

“Just didn’t read you as someone who would.” She laughs.

“Yeah, I was kind of stuck up when we were younger, huh?”

“I don’t think thats the right word.” She looks at me, taking the stick away from her mouth and tipping her head back to blow the smoke out.

“What word would you use then?” She smiles down at her hand, rubbing her wrists down her legs and her cheek against her knees.

“Careful, probably.”

She sticks out her tongue, groaning and sitting back against the window frame.

“Might as well call me boring then, right? Can see why you would want to run away with someone so much more…exciting.” She rolls her eyes playfully, lifting the cigarette back to her lips.

“How many more times are you going to say it?” My fingers wrap around the stick, lifting it to my own lips and covering the mark her own had made before putting it out against the back of my hand.

“Me saying it less won’t make it any less true.”

Maybe a smart ass would be the right word to call her. Heartbreak be damned, she was always quick on her tongue only now she had motivation to shoot for the kill.

“Have a nice night, JJ.” Her legs swing over to the cool counter tops where she scoots herself down and back onto the floor. I can see she’s wearing a baby blue bra when she bends over to shut the window, not that I was looking, and she smiles unenthusiastically until she’s turned the corner out of my sight.

“You’d think after a month of this you’d be bored.” She laughs, mittens covering her fingers and a soft cardigan over her heavy sweatshirt. Her nose is numbing from the cold and the grass is crunching underneath the winter frost.

“I could never be bored of you, Y/n/n.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but bites her tongue with a gentle smile. Her cheeks glow and her eyes avoid looking into mine. The plants by her feet are long gone, only weeds that have frozen left behind among the cigarette stubs from all of our small talk by her windows and on her porch. Even with the constant sweeping, we’ve both picked up on the habit and we burn through them each meeting.

“Well, I’m not so sure about that.” She laughs more to herself than to me, hands crossed under her arms and shoulder pressed against the door.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, I suppose I’m just not all that interesting of a person. Not much about me that makes me special.”

Theres a bitter windchill that weaves its way between us and a relentless shiver that travels up my spine and down to my fingertips.

“Well I think you’re plenty interesting.” I smile proudly, almost foolishly at her and wait for her reaction.

She only hums with a puff through her nose and nods, and when her eyes flicker back up to mine they seem a little bit more focused in on me than before.

“I think you’re very pretty too, by the way.”

She laughs again, holding her index under her nose and crinkling her eyes.

“Don’t.” She braces herself further into the doorway and lulls her head back for a moment before coming back.

“Well it’s true!”

“I would hope so, I mean we were together for, how long?”

I fake offense that she doesn’t have the days counted down like I do. Years to months to days to hours to seconds, I have it all calculated in my head.

“You’re relentless, do you know that JJ?”

“I’ve been told a few times, yes.” It’s my turn to laugh, shifting from the heals of my feet to the balls of my toes. I shove my hands deep into my pockets and pray she doesn’t see the blue of my lips and send me home.

It goes quiet for a brief moment, our breathing pausing in our throats and the cold air releasing foggy puffs through the parts of our lips. It doesn’t get as cold as it would up in New England here, but the frost still nips away at the thin skin I’ve grown and bites at the tips of my fingers and the bottoms of my toes.

“How’s Pope doing?” Her breathing has gone heavy again.

I know she’s specifically asked for Pope because he’s the only one who truly saw my faults. John B and Sarah far too woven into their own web of unfaithfulness and Kiara too unbothered to care. Pope was always the most sensible out of us, so when I came home after nearly half a decade unfazed and claiming to have ended things without solid grounds to stand on, he let me have it. In his dad’s truck, specifically.

Driving downtown to the rich side of the island with bags of groceries slung over each shoulder and the bumps in the road shaking the plastic outrageously loud. I told him first, and part of me knew he would see my mistakes and call them out, but I hadn’t and I didn’t want to. I’d never seen him so mad, threatening to pull over if I didn’t make things right.

You can’t force a person to love someone forever, and you can’t force a person to change their behavior if they can’t see it’s broken. Pope couldn’t have done anything to make me go back. If I had, I would have faced her teary eyes and sad smile telling me that she was alright as long as I was well. She believed me when I said we were better for it, and sometimes I wished that I had picked a girl who could fight.

“He’s well. His dad too, actually. Started making deliveries to the far side of the island to make more money. By this time next year hopefully he’ll be on his way to college.”

“Well, he always was the smart one.”

She smiles underneath her mitten clad hand, looking at her feet.

“We all got lucky, you know? Having someone like him around. It’ll be weird without him around so often anymore.” My thumbs press harder into the bottoms of my pockets to savor the warmth radiating from my thighs.

“I like Pope, he always was my favorite.”

I nod, smiling into the silence again.

“Is he still your best friend, then?” She asks plainly, not really looking for much of an answer.

“No.”

She cocks her head, leaning all of her weight into the wooden door frame.

“Why’s that then? Has John B finally made you lose your mind?”

She never really did like John B. He was loyal and she respected him for it, but he was just like me. He was good but he wasn’t a good person.

“No.” I answer again, trying to hide my growing smile, “You are.”

“That’s funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke.”

She laughs through her nose.

“Yeah well, we barely talk so, I don’t think I can be your best friend.”

“Well you are.”

“Well then thats sad.” She looks at me sympathetically, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

“I don’t get to do this with anyone else.”

“Do what?”

“This.” I motion with my hands. “Just sit and talk, even if it’s only for a moment. I guess I just feel better around you, I can’t explain it.”

She’s nodding her head thoughtfully at my words, pulling her mittens off and holding them in one hand carefully.

“JJ.”

I hum, looking up from where I’ve began to stare a hole into my boots.

“You should come in.”

“Okay.”

It’s been too long since I’ve smelled the warmth of the inside of her home. Soft vanilla mixed with the citrus and salt that can only be found in places surrounded by ocean. Yet, I can’t find this smell in any other place. Her perfume lingers beneath the surface of the smell but I can’t quite recall the name of it anymore. It drives me crazy when everything smells like her and I go mad wondering why I would have chased after another girl when I already had her.

“Sorry for the mess.” Her house is small, maybe just a bit smaller than mine but it’s nicer than mine.

She kicks a blanket that has fallen off of the arm of her plush couch into the corner, and I pick it up.

“No, it’s perfect.”

She laughs, opening the door to her room and situating herself underneath her worn in white bed sheets. I hesitate, unsure if she’s welcoming me in with her, though I wouldn’t mind just laying on the floor. She has this soft carpet by the side of her bed that would be comfortable enough for a short time. But to my surprise she does open the bedsheets, scooting over and letting me sit underneath the thick layers.

“I still don’t forgive you, by the way.” She mumbles as I climb in beside her, crossing her arms to prove something.

“I don’t expect you to.” I smile at her, and I catch her vaguely smiling back.

Sitting waist pressed to waist, the heavy comforter weighed down by her stack of blankets piled on top shifts into a tent as she crosses her legs. She pulls it up to her chest so she can hold it under her arms and I wonder how she’s not hot even in the winter chill. I can feel my own sweat sticking to my skin underneath my clothes. Her lighter flickers beside me, a ball of smoke tumbling past her lips before she passes it to me. She lights another for herself.

I laugh at a thought I have, but it comes out stiffed with the paper caught in my mouth.

“I bet you’d pretend not to know me if we bumped into each other.”

The smoke from the blunt I dangled between my fingers disperses into the air leaving a faint smell of weed behind in its wake. I can feel it on my teeth too when I smile.

She doesn’t say anything, staring at me with a gentle smile and serious eyes. Her watchful expression makes me realize how depressing my words were and how true they could be. I swallow, looking down at where the blankets have pooled in my lap.

“Sorry.”

“I would never pretend to not know you, JJ.” She looks at me honest.

“I don’t deserve that.” I confess to no one in particular. I just say it out loud as it comes to my mind and let the reality behind it sink in like a knife to the heart.

“You did bad things.” She swallows, “But you still stuck around after. You promised to make it right and you are. I guess what you’ve done doesn’t seem so bad to me now, even if it is, is what I’m trying to say. Compared to most people, you were actually pretty nice to me.” She smiles sadly and all I want to do is to wrap her in my arms and press soft kisses along the top of her head, but it’s no longer my place to do that and I’ve made it so.

“I wish it were different.”

“How?” She looks at me pitifully, water collecting on her lower lashes. I’m not sure where she’s put the burning paper, if it died between her manicured fingers or if she rubbed it out on one of the books beside her bed, but it’s no longer in her hands when her arms fall heavy against her duvet in defeat.

“I wish we never dated, at least not so soon.” It’s my turn to swallow now. “We would have been better for it. If we had grown up a little first.”

She shakes her head, looking back down at her covered lap.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

“I think we’d grow, but not by much. Growth doesn’t fully change a person and by facing adulthood I don’t think it would have made us end any differently. At the end of the day I’ll still turn to my cigarettes and you’ll still be drunk in the boneyard talking to some pretty tourist.”

“Well I like to think so.”

“And I think you’re naive for it.”

By now the smoke has dwindled down to fog around the room and the old blunt has died out between my index and my thumb.

“I would have done it differently.”

She hums, tell me more, it says.

“I would have bought you flowers. Not only on the special days but just because I love you. Wouldn’t need a reason to show it to you and I wouldn’t be stupid enough to run away from you either.”

I could list everything I could have done better for her endlessly but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s been done.

“We’re still so young, it’s hard to know where things start to go wrong.” She tries to reason, and our eyes avoid the others wearily.

Neither of us talk, listening to the whistling wind banging on the large windows and feeling the faint chill seeping through the walls.

“I don’t drink anymore.” She looks at me.

“Good for you.”

“I do stupid things when I get drunk, I get sloppy I suppose. Talk to people I shouldn’t, hate the wrong people and make everyone feel bad. I don’t really like that feeling. I don’t like being a bad person.” I confess, looking at her and remembering how she’s confirmed my deepest fears without knowing.

“You can be intense but eventually you mellow out and you’re okay again.” She shrugs.

“I know, and I know everybody knows I don’t mean it but if I can prevent it I will.”

She nods again, eyebrows furrowing and her teeth catching her bottom lip. She looks to me with a serious expression.

“What about you. Would you love me if you met me now?” She asks.

“I’ll always love you.”

“But if you didn’t know me, if you didn’t love me. If I was just some girl you’d seen on the beach or in town. Would you be able to love me then?”

“Eventually, yes.” I admit. “I like to think that in some fucked up way you were made for me.”

She smiles at that, picking at her nails shyly.

“Yeah?” She looks up at me with shy eyes.

“Yeah.”

The grass under my feet is soggy, but the warm sun beating down on our shoulders slowly dries it and the dripping leaves above us too. It wasn’t a long winter, but it never really is here. Spring had rolled around just a few months ago with endless showers and relentless sunshine following behind it. Pollen dances in the air in a heavy dusting and the bees have begun picking out the prettiest flowers and the early summer air hangs humid around us.

“You disappeared for a while.” Her hands fold underneath her elbows. She’s swapped out her heavy cardigans for graphic baby tees and faded jeans. Her hair is lighter now than it was in the winter, and she has more freckles on her face.

“It’s only been a few weeks.” She looks at me and I swear I can’t read her so I clear my throat.

“I picked up some shifts with Pope. Trying to save up some money so I can finally do something with myself I guess. You know, I was never really the smartest with my money.” She laughs.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be annoying. Just…missed you is all.” She smiles up at me with a look I haven’t seen in some time.

“You could never be annoying.”

“It’s funny because I was over here thinking that you probably hate me. It’s kind of pathetic because you weren’t really gone for long, but you’re really the only person who still talks to me.”

She leans back against the old wood of her house, her face finding shade underneath the small overhang of her porch.

“I never hated you. I could never hate you. I think you’re really awesome.” I confess and it makes me feel a rush when I say it.

Y/n swallows hard and I can see her smile falter when she looks back up.

“Well…I like you.”

“I like you too.”

She smiles at me and I can’t tell if it’s the birth of exclusivity or friendship blossoming between us.

“I wish I could read your mind.” She mumbles out, stepping closer.

“Why?”

“You’re confusing.”

“Well, I don’t think I am. Maybe you’re confusing yourself.”

“No, it’s definitely you.” She smiles.

“I saw Kiara last week, while you were away. I thought about asking about you but then I figured it might have been weird because it wasn’t really my business. But then I noticed she was wearing my old shirt. I knew it was mine because I used to leave it at your house when we would fall asleep before I could crawl out the window. I never took it back and she was wearing it.” She breathed through her nose, “I guess I was just confused why you kept it. I mean, we agreed that we were better for it, you were so convinced that if we saw other people we would be so much happier. You saw another girl all summer, so I guess it just confused me why you wouldn’t have tossed it.”

“Maybe I wanted an excuse to see you again.”

“See, you’re confusing.”

“I don’t get your point.”

She huffs, hanging her shoulders and rolling her eyes.

“Someone who falls in love with someone else doesn’t keep their ex girlfriend’s shirt, they don’t worry about the next time they’ll run into each other.”

“Maybe I was just being a good friend.” I shrug, smiling as I stuff my hands into my pockets.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what!” I throw my arms up playfully and I can see how hard she’s fighting against a smile.

“Well were you? Being a good friend, that is?”

I shrug.

“Maybe, I’m not sure. I mean, I guess I never really thought about throwing it out because I was so used to you being there. You never said you wanted it back so, I never asked you. It’s funny too because when Kiara found it, she told me the same thing. She said it was stupid of me to keep something that wasn’t mine and took it. But I guess she didn’t have the heart to give it back to you either.” I find myself rambling.

“What if I wanted it back now?”

“Well do you?”

She shakes her head and all of our words seem to die on our tongues.

“She never stayed the night, by the way.”

“What?”

“The girl, the one I saw this summer.”

“Oh.” I see her cringing at the mere mention of the girl, Amanda, I think was her name but the whole summer was a drunken blur and the only times I ever saw her was after I was six shots deep and in need of a distraction.

After a five day bender and the hard reality of sobriety I came to my senses, she was nothing more than sex. Still, explaining that to Y/n wouldn’t have helped my case. It would have only made both of us feel bad. I left her for another girl who I didn’t even really like and nobody knew why.

“I don’t think it’s important, but I thought you’d want to know.”

“I’m not mad anymore, about her.”

“Well are you still hurt?” She looks at me through her lashes, index fingers picking at the skin around her thumbs.

“Sorry, stupid question.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”

“But I still hurt you?”

“JJ.” She sighs, hands finding their way around her stomach.

“I still feel like kicking myself every time I think about it. You were always so good to me, you are. You let me into your house and you give me all these chances even after I fucked it all up. I don’t know why I did it, and I hate myself for it everyday.”

It goes silent for what feels like the millionth time today.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” She looks at me carefully, fingers pulling at the fabric around her waist like it’s suffocating her.

“I don’t expect you to say anything.”

She nods, “Okay.”

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

Theres a pause, and her eyes move back like she’s thinking really hard for her answer.

“I already have.”

Her words don’t give me the clarity I hoped they would. In fact, they make me feel worse. Even after I hurt her, left her alone for something not even half as good. I played two girls in the span of three months and I paid little to no consequences. She let me show her how sorry I was when she shouldn’t have and now all I can picture is her sorry face when I told her it was over for the first time.

“Do you think I’m naive for it?” She asks quietly.

“For forgiving me?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “For falling in love with you again.” I don’t know how to answer her when she consistently leaves me speechless.

“I don’t know.” I look her, hoping to find an answer. “How do you feel about it?”

“I don’t know, thats my issue. I can look back on something and think I know what I felt at the time but, I don’t know. When it’s actually happening, I guess I have no idea how I feel or how to think.”

“Then how do you know you love me?”

“I don’t know. I never have a clue. I guess I just feel different around you than most people. But it’s not as obvious as other people make it sound, it’s the little things.” She confesses.

“I can tell you how I feel, if that would help.”

“Okay.” She nods.

I take a second to gather what I have to say in an effort to avoid some sort of word vomit from spewing out, but it’s to no avail.

“I thought you were shy when I first met you. Normally for me, I wouldn’t stick around for long because even with talkative people I find myself annoying. I hate the sound of my voice after some time. I figured I’d grow tired of my own voice quickly with you.”

Y/n looks at me, trying to figure me out.

“But you’re really not all that shy, you’re just careful. You think before you speak and maybe that’s why you don’t do a lot of it. Because you know what and when to say things and what sounds bad before you say it. You never know how you feel, but you know what you think and I think thats twice as important. Our conversations were different because of that. I could talk for hours and because I was talking to you I never focused on the sound of my voice or how tired I was of hearing it, I only thought of you. I guess that’s the scary part of it all, falling in love, that is. You don’t know you’ve done it until you try to think of something else and you realize you haven’t even tried to think of anything else without everything leading back to that one person.”

“That’s kind of scary to think about.” She laughs half heartedly.

“Because it is. That’s the fucked up thing about it all, nobody tells you that falling in love is more of developing an obsession to another person. It’s wanting to be around them all the time and praying every second you’re away from them that they’ll come around again soon. It’s the inability to let go after you swore to yourself you were done and it’s why I keep coming back to you.”

Theres a pause. I don’t realize how red my face has gotten until I stop talking.

“I think we’re probably just sick.” She smiles with her teeth, pushing my shoulder back to walk past me. We’ve left her front lawn so many times before. I’ve chased her across her lawn and rolled with her in the weeds, but I’ve grown so used to the faint glowing of her front porch lights and the flickering of the fairy lights strung across the door that it always catches me off guard when she moves away from the doorway.

“I think you’re probably right.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be together, then. Maybe you were right. We were better for it.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s true.”

“How could you not? You said it so you must believe in it.”

Shes playing with me and she knows it. Even though Y/n claims she’s hurting less and less the more we open up, I can tell theres still a wound bleeding somewhere deep, someplace within her that likes to see me frantic.

“Maybe I did then, but I don’t now.”

“Why?”

“Well, then you were just my girlfriend.”

“And I’m your ex now, so I guess it’s probably worse.”

It’s my turn to laugh now.

“No. I think it’s different now because I’m not only in love with you, but I love you.” I feel like I’m seven again, running around the blacktop and chasing around Y/n and tugging her by her pigtails. I feel like I’ve just confessed my school crush to her and it’s thrilling but horrifying all at once.

“Do you love me enough to be honest with me?” She smiles wider.

“I love you enough to do just about anything for you.”

“Did you ever see me in her?”

Somehow every time it gets good I am reminded of my past. It’s my karma. I’ve hurt her so it only makes sense for her to want to know everything before I earn her heart again.

“All the time.”

For the first time in forever, she steps closer, her hands resting on my waist gently and her breathing shallow against my neck.

“How?” Our noses practically touch when I look down at her.

“She was quiet, careful. She was never as smart as you but if I was drunk enough I could have made up anything. You guys would have been best friends, I’m convinced, if it were a different lifetime. Same jokes, same hobbies. The only difference was her heart.”

I find my hands threading themselves between the stray hairs by her neck, and I can see how her eyes relax the closer I inch towards her.

“You were much softer than she was, and I realized then that I only really ever wanted her because she reminded me so much of you. And it’s weird because I already had you.”

For a second I think she’s going to kiss me, and for a second I know she thinks so too. But her hands slip away from mine and her head ducks beneath my hands to unthread them from her hair to get away. She’s clearing her throat and mumbling soft apologies as she makes her way back up to the porch.

I feel angry, and I know it’s not my right to. I had her and I lost her through my own actions. I have no one else to blame. Yet, I find myself feeling vulnerable in a way I’ve never felt it before. It makes me feel sick knowing how close we got to fixing things and how quickly it was stripped away. I feel useless, and I figure it must be how Y/n felt when I left her and told her it was for the best.

“So that’s it then? What, we just tell each other we love each other and we pretend it never happened?”

“JJ, please.”

I can tell shes tired, conflicted over her own actions, but I can’t wait any longer to figure it out.

“I know it’s my fault but I’m trying to fix it, fix us! I miss you, more than anything and I can’t talk to anyone like I talk to you. I don’t know what else to say, Y/n. I love you, I love you so much it drives me crazy and I fucking miss what we had.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“JJ, I told you when you first came around. You knew this. I won’t fight for us, I can’t do that again.”

“So then why do you let me stick around?”

“Someone ought to hold you to your words. If you’re going to stay, then stay but I won’t fight for you if you leave.”

“Well I wish you would.” I can feel myself growing angry. I wish I didn’t get that from my father, his temper. I wish I was more like Y/n, more level headed and calm. But I was born angry and I am because I remember the way I ended things and I remember how quickly she accepted it.

“You lost that privilege when you left me for her.”

“Don’t throw that at me, we both know you couldn’t even argue with me then!”

“How could I, JJ? You’d made up your mind, why should I stick around if you’ve gotten eyes for someone else?” Her throat is scratchy, she doesn’t even have to look at me for me to know she’s trying not to cry. I want to beg her not to, because I know I won’t be able to withstand her wet doe eyes, but I’ve done it to myself.

“You know that’s not what happened, I told you what happened!” I feel the way we’re both growing tired. We get good and we fall apart.

“If you want to talk, we can talk but I can’t give you what you want. I can’t fight for someone who’s not even mine.”

“So then you want to see other people?”

“I never said that.”

“Well you implied it.”

She doesn’t say anything, shoulders shaking over the old railings of her porch. Her breathing is heavy but she doesn’t speak.

“So I guess if you want to see other people, then we should see other people.”

“Do what you want JJ, but just don’t come back here.”

She doesn’t mean it, we both know she doesn’t. She told me months ago she would never love me again, and though she has grown to find room in her heart for me, she’ll never let me see her vulnerable again.

I can feel the dirt coating my socks as it kicks up behind me. I’m not walking fast, but it feels like it with how dizzy I’m getting. Her door shuts with a slam and I swear I can hear a faint cry echo through her kitchen. But I’ll never know because I was too careless to try and knock.

It’s a different girl every time, but they’re all the same. John B gave me shit for it last summer when it first ended. I claimed to be chasing something better but they were all just different versions of the same girl.

There was always something off, the hair, the smile, the laugh. But if I drank enough and squinted hard enough I could almost see Y/n again and it would help convince myself that I was fine with her absence.

I find the fog of the early summer bonfires to be suffocating now, even with the solo cup in my hand and consistent pats on my back from classmates and old friends. I’ve flirted with half the island by now, I’m sure of it, and I probably look a mess but the tourist in front of me doesn’t seem to mind.

She looks like my Y/n too, they both like the same music. I wonder if I’ll accidentally call her the wrong name later tonight.

I told Y/n I stopped drinking, but I never promised it to her. So I suppose that’s how I ended up back where I started, trying to drown out my own issues with a warm beverage and a random girl.

I haven’t really been listening to what she has to say, I can only wonder what Y/n would think about her and if she would approve. It makes me feel sick knowing how many people I hurt in the process of healing, and I wonder if you can even consider it healing at this point.

“JJ!” A soft voice breaks through a loud crowd, dashing through the center of a bonfire to find me hanging back along the outskirts.

The girl in front of me shoots both of us a dirty look and walks away without saying a word.

“Y/n?” My vision is blurry and I wonder if it’s really her or if I’ve drank far too much.

“You’re drunk.”

“What?” The cup in my hand finds its way into the hot sand and over the intense stench of alcohol I can smell the welcoming scent of her perfume.

“Do you take me as a joke?” Her eyes are watering, shaky fingers wrapped around my wrists. I can see the faint flickering of the bonfire illuminating the side of her face. She looks so pretty like this, so tired.

“What the fuck are you on about, Y/n?”

“I let you into my home, into my bed; my bed!” She restlessly pokes her finger into her chest, clammy hands gripping onto my skin harder than ever.

“Well I didn’t make you!”

“You didn’t make it easy either!” She shoots daggers in my direction, stray looks from passersby’s tell us to quiet down.

“Yeah whatever.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She all but begs.

“You could have any boyfriend you want, you know. Boy’s are consistently falling in love with you, from what I’ve heard.” I slur, my right foot falling in front of my left and still Y/n holds me in place.

“Stop that, stop it now JJ I don’t like it.” She pleads through her gritted teeth.

“Right.” I roll my eyes.

“You don’t hate me. You told me so when I asked you, you even told me you liked me so stop being mean.”

“Maybe I’m just immune to you.” I try and joke through foggy memories and a sloppy smile, “Because I knew you before, in school when you still wore pigtails.”

“Right, when I was ugly and pathetic? You obviously don’t know me now JJ if you’re acting this way.” I ignore her insults, I couldn’t even process them if I tried.

“No, you were never ugly or pathetic.”

She looked at me, confused, not sure where this fight is leading us and unsure if we’d ever bounce back from it. Even sober our conversation is unclear, weaving between different topics and creating sore spots that’ll surely kill us soon.

“I know I’d be a shit boyfriend if I were yours. I’d rather anyone else, even the guys on figure eight who spit on me when I walk by.”

“JJ, you’re drunk, let me take you home, we can figure it all out soon.” My hands rip themselves from her grip, stumbling back into the sand.

“Why do you care so much JJ? Let me take you home, we can talk in the morning.”

“Because I’m selfish and even though I know you’d be happier without me I can’t even stand the thought of you being happy with anyone else but me.” Looking at my feet, I feel the tears falling from my eyes onto my feet buried in the sand. “Y/n I need to know if you love me or not.”

Neither of us can speak, and it feels like everyone around us can’t seem to find the words to explain out situation either.

“JJ.” She pleads softly.

“I probably should have mentioned this before, but I was seeing someone.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.”

Y/n doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even breathe, and the quiet is so loud that I can’t help the drunken rambling that leaves my mouth. “That girl, I can’t remember her name now, but the one I had last summer, I saw her up until the fall. I asked her out too. Should have mentioned that before but then again, I feel like you hardly ever let me in anymore so.” I shrug, and because of the way my eyes so heavily avoided her’s I almost missed the way she looked at me like I was poison.

“I called her by your name, that’s why she said no.”

The world seems to fall quiet around us, stray smoke from the nearby fire weaving between us and sticking in our hair and on our clothes.

“Why are you telling me this? Is it because you’re trying to be such a good friend, is that it, JJ?”

“No—yes, I don’t know, I just needed to tell you.”

Her sniffles are deafening, I feel sicker than before hearing her fighting her tears.

“Oh god, oh my god!” Her hands cover her face, pulling down until her hands clasp tightly over her quivering mouth.

“I’m sorry, I want to fix things, I thought if I told you, you would like me better!” I try to rationalize but she only shakes her head.

“I thought it would be different, you know? I really did believe you when you said we were better for it, having taken a break to grow and learn. But I’m just as naive as I was when I was yours and I’m just as stupid for taking you back!” She spits it like venom, still backing away.

“You said it yourself, I’m not a good person.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t believe you could be one.”

It’s quiet again between us, and her touch on my skin lingers like a tattooed kiss, her words replaying in my mind.

Y/n believed we could work it out, but she was smarter than I was and more careful too. She knew better than to chase after something that was never meant to work out.

“I do love you, I really do. What we had, what we have done. We’ve done so much good for one another.”

“No, no.” I try to follow her, but my feet fail me. I fan barely walk straight, let alone chase her.

“You know I love you, Y/n, you have to. I’m never going to feel the same way I feel for you for anybody else.”

She looks at me and it tells me everything I need to know.

I can promise her all my love and all my heart but it’ll never make us right, not ever again.

When she leaves, it’s quietly, the frame of her body losing its color in the darkness of the early summer night. It reminds me a lot of how this all started, and I feel sick.

I could stay as long as I wanted, but the truth was my devotion did not matter anymore, because she was always destined to go.

#jj maybank x y/n #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank fluff #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x you #jjmaybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jjmaybankangst

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pvre-angel · 1 year

Text

you should go (i want you to stay) | rafe cameron

________________________________________________________________

reader x rafe; after a drunken hookup, you admit how you really feel.

you always hoped you’d end up here. in his bed, naked. his hand ran up and down along your side, the cold ring on his finger making you shiver. you felt him kiss your shoulder lightly before rolling out of bed. you didn’t say anything. instead, you watched him as he pulled his clothes on quickly, a smile on his face as he met your stare.

“well, that was unexpected.” he laughed, picking up your bra and tossing it at you. “unexpected in a good way, i hope,” you replied as you began to get dressed yourself. “unbelievably good.” rafe winked, opening the door to the balcony and sitting down. you smiled, of course, but a part of you was scared. maybe it was your mistake, going this far with your best friend, who you were crazy in love with. as said before, it wasn’t exactly a planned occurrence. and being drunk off your ass, after a huge party didn’t help.

you followed rafe onto the balcony and grabbed the beer you were drinking, finishing it off and opening another without hesitating. “trying to forget it already, huh?” he joked, elbowing you in the arm. “nah, trying to forget something else.” you mumbled, hoping he was too distracted by the crowd downstairs to notice you responded at all. his hand found your cheek, forcing you to look at him. “what’s up?” the concern in his voice made your insides melt.

maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the hope you held that he’d feel the same that betrayed the voice in your head telling you not to say anything.

“i’m in love with you, rafe. i’m sorry if that’s weird, and i’m sorry that i-” you couldn’t continue once he pulled his hand away and stood up, shaking his head. “you probably just feel that way because of what we did.” he now stood a few feet away, arms crossed. he couldn’t even meet your gaze. “i’ve felt this way for a long time.” now you stood, inching toward him. “y/n” you don’t know what you're talking about, you don’t love me. okay?” it stung that he was walking over your feelings, instead of accepting them to be true. “rafe-” you began, only for him to cut you off. “this, what we did,” he pointed to the bedroom, where only moments ago everything was perfect. “it was a mistake.’ and as if that wasn’t enough to hurt you, he snatched the beer from your hand, “you should go.”

you felt your heart break right then and there. tears gathered in your eyes, but instead of letting him see how much his words affected you, let them fall after you turned to leave, just as he wanted you to.

weeks passed.

you did everything you could to distract yourself. but nothing seemed to really help. was your friendship with rafe really over because you couldn’t keep it to yourself? you felt you had ruined everything. but reaching out first meant apologizing for how you thought you felt. it meant lying. and you refused to do that. rafe hadn’t made any effort to make amends, either. which only made everything feel worse.

as if you hadn’t made enough mistakes in the last while, you found yourself giving into your friends and going to yet another party. you had been avoiding parties, knowing rafe cameron was more than likely at every single one, or the one hosting.

his house was already packed full of people. your stomach churned, regret filling you already. were you even welcome here anymore? the last time you were here he asked you to leave. it took a bit more convincing from your friends, but you found yourself inside his house with a beer in your hand. you tried to enjoy yourself, but it was hard when you couldn’t help but scan the room every few minutes, watching for him. you’d avoid him, if you did see him, of course, but you silently prayed you wouldn’t see him at all. as if he read your mind, rafe entered the room, a smile on his face as he ran into some of his close friends. a lump formed in your throat. you knew better than to wish you wouldn’t see him at his own party. now that you had, you wished you never came at all.

“i’m sorry guys, i think i’m gonna go.” you said to your friends, who were too busy dancing to the loud music to hear you or notice you leaving. hiding behind people as best as you could, you managed to get to the door before you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

“y/n?” rafe’s voice met your ears. you turned towards him slowly, refusing to look directly at him. “i’m leaving, don’t worry.” before you could turn to leave, he stopped you again. “i wasn’t worried, i’m glad you came.” you scoffed, unable to believe him. “really? because the last time i was here you asked me to go. so that’s what i’m doing. i shouldn’t have even came.” rafe flinched, but a look of understanding was apparent.

“please, can we just talk? somewhere less crowded?” he pleaded. you rolled your eyes, knowing you’d follow him anywhere even when you really didn’t want to. instead of responding, you waved a hand, motioning for him to lead the way.

as if it were some cruel joke, he brought you right to his room. “rafe, what’s left to even say?” he shut his door and locked it. now you two were alone, in the very room where everything went to shit weeks ago.

“everything. everything i should have said instead of letting you walk out.”

“you asked me to leave, rafe.” he guided you to sit down next to him on his bed. “yes, i know but, fuck, (y/n) i just couldn’t let myself believe it was possible that you could feel that way for me. it freaked me out.”

“well, i’m glad to know how i feel for you freaks you out. is that all?”

“can you just let me say what i have to say? fuck.” you stayed silent, taken back by his tone.

“i’m a mess, y/n. I do stupid shit, and get drunk, and high, and it scared me to hear you say those words because you deserve more than that. it scared me because no ones ever been able to make me feel the way i feel when i’m with you.”

tears filled your eyes, and rafe took your hands into his.

“i decided the second you said it that you were just confused. but that wasn’t fair to you, just easier for me.” he wiped a tear from your cheek.

“ what are you saying to me rafe?” you needed him to be straight up, no more beating around the bush. you couldn’t deal with not knowing exactly what he was thinking or feeling.

without warning, his hand flew to the back of your head, your hair tangled in his fingers. he hauled you closer, hungry for your kiss. his lips found yours with greed.

“i’m saying that i fucking love you. and i’m so sorry i couldn’t admit it before.” you forgave him then and there, gripping his shirt and hauling him back in.

“i want you to stay.” he panted between kisses.

and so you did, just as he wanted you to.

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imbestforyou · 11 months

Note

can you write about the reader never drinking/smoking so jj stops doing it as much too?

(sober-ish) with you

requested - blurb

pairing: jj maybank x reader (she/her)

summary: read request ^

approx. reading time: around one minute

warning(s): drinking, smoking, pet name (baby)

note: i did briefly talk about this in this fic, fireworks (go check it out if you haven’t) you weren’t specific with what you wanted so i just wrote what felt right for me! let me know if you want something more specific!

requests are open, send them in!

masterlist | navigation | request guidelines

you didn’t like drinking or smoking. so when you met jj’s friends, the people you knew went to keggers and smoked so much the smell was radiating off them, you were intimidated.

jj knew your dislike of these habits and although he still did them, it wasn’t as bad as before you came into his life. he didn’t drink every day from the moment he woke up ‘till he passed out at night. he occasionally drank and only smoked outside of the house, he would then take a shower to get the smell off of him before he laid in bed with you.

you didn’t want to change him, you only wanted him to be safe and healthy.

after being introduced and realizing they weren’t what everyone had whispered about, you relaxed. and so did jj.

he started drinking one beer, then two, then two turned into four and you couldn’t help but notice it.

“hey j?” you whisper.

“yeah baby?” his full attention to you.

“you’re drinking a lot.”

“you’re right i’m sorry.” he immediately gives his beer to john b.

“you’re already done man?” he hesitantly takes the beer.

“yeah yeah, i’m good we gotta get home safe.”

although you could tell john b wanted to say more he didn’t.

like jj promised he didn’t drink the rest of the night and you both got home safely.

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honeybear-yammy · 1 year

Note

i loved the perv!rafe!! can u try doing perv!jj??

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers

Warnings: cursing, smut, mentions of drinking, prev!JJ, mentions of sex, nudity

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female Pogue Reader

Summary: In which Y/N finds out that JJ has strong sexual feelings for her but, she secretly feels the same way.

You ran your hands through your wet hair as the water from the shower head ran over your now sun-kissed skin. You had been out on the marsh all day on the H.M.S Pogue with John B, JJ, Kiara, Sarah, Pope, and Cleo. You guys pretty much went out on the marsh every single day. You didn't really care if you were blowing off classes or not as long as you all were having the time of your lives.

You all had decided that since it was dark out and you all had drank a lot that all of you were going to stay the night at John B's place. You finished washing up and once you felt nice and refreshed you got out of the shower and dried you hair and body off as best you could before wrapping the towel around yourself. You knew that no one should even be in the Chateau anyways so you were safe to go out with just your towel to go find some clothes from your bag.

You were searching though your bag for clothes but never noticed the blonde boy standing in the doorway eyeing you. When you found something that you wanted to wear, you stood up and your eyes widened when you saw him standing there. JJ's eyes were glued to you. You held the soft towel closer to yourself but, you couldn't deny that the encounter had turned you on.

"I- what are you doing?" You asked JJ quietly. His gaze finally left your poorly covered body before looking up at your eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked as he corked a brow. "I just- uhm- I was just showering and I came out to my bag to try and find some clothes to put on." You said nervously. JJ smirked when he could hear how nervous you were in your voice. "Well, if it was up to me, you don't need to wear anything, baby." He said with a smirk.

"I- what?" You asked in shock as you eyes widened. "You herd me, sweetheart." He smirked. You weren't sure if he was serious or if he was just kidding. JJ had always tended to joke around like that with you and all of the other girls in the friend group but, Kiara, Sarah and Cleo had always told you that when JJ would make those kind of jokes with you, it seemed like he was serious. You gaze met his again and you could feel your arousal between your legs. Then out of nowhere you decided to do what he said and you stepped out away from your bag before letting go of the towel, letting it fall to the floor by your feet.

JJ looked almost shocked that you really undressed yourself in front of him but, that didn't stop his eyes from lingering down your body, his gaze stopping for awhile at your breasts. You felt a blush creeping up along your cheeks. He looked up at you and had a devilish smirk on his face before he walked over to you. You looked up at the blonde boy. "Well?" You asked with a small smirk. "You were the one that wanted me to get undressed for you, now it's your move." You said as your smirk got bigger. JJ grinned and pulled you into a heated and passionate kiss. As the two of you kissed, he lifted you up off the ground.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and snaked your arms around his neck and shoulders. He carried you into John B's room before gently tossing you onto the bed, causing you to giggle and bite your lip. JJ smirked and crawled onto the bed, crawling on top of you and once he was hovering over you he kissed you passionately once again. As the two of you were making out, you realized what the two of you were doing and pulled away even though you didn't want to. "Wait.." You said softly as you rested your hand on his chest.

"What is it?" JJ asked. "What about everyone else?" You asked. "They're right outside. And we are literally about to fuck in John B's bedroom." You said. You noticed a devilish smirk had appeared on his face. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" You asked. "Good idea?" He asked. "It's a fucking fantastic idea." He laughed. "Honestly, I don't really give a shit if any of them walk in on us or if John B finds out we fucked in his bed. Honestly, it would probably turn him on knowing that his two best friends fucked in his bedroom, on his bed." JJ said.

You chuckled a little at what he said. "Alright just, please don't try to get us caught." You said. "Alright." He said with a chuckle before kissing you once again. He started to kiss along your jawline before kissing down your neck heading for your chest. Once he got to your breasts, he stopped and his hands came up to cup your tits. He looked up at you and gave you a mischievous smile before he latched his mouth onto your right nipple. You gasped and your back arched a little as he did so. You tangled your fingers in the blonde boys hair as he continued to suck on your hardened bud.

After a few minutes he switched, giving your left breast the attention he lacked to give it earlier. You bit your lip and whimpered softly as JJ continued to suck on your bud. After giving your breasts all that attention he started to kiss down your stomach but, you stopped him. He looked up at you confused on why you had stopped him from continuing. "Is something wrong?" JJ asked. "I can stop if you want." He said softly. "I- no no, it's not that I just.." You whimpered and bit your lip before looking away from the blonde boy.

"What is it, baby?" JJ asked with a small smirk, now realizing that this was about something else. "I need more.." You whispered quietly. "Need what? What is it that you need, baby?" He asked as his smirk grew even more. "I need you.." You said as you looked back at the blonde boy once again. "I just.. I don't wanna wait any longer." You whined. "I need you inside of me." You whimpered. "That's all you had to say, princess." JJ said with a smirk before he got off of the bed and got undressed. He got back onto the bed and spread your legs before positioning himself between your legs.

You bit your lip, waiting to feel him inside of you. You already knew that you had a crush on JJ and you wanted him like this but, you didn't realize that he wanted you just as much and you wanted him. You sucked a breath in before he slowly entered your soaked cunt. You gasped and your back arched off the bed but, JJ pinned you back down onto the bed. The feeling of JJ stretching your pussy out was an amazing feeling to you. You fucking loved it. You knew that JJ's size was probably fairly big but, you didn't realize that he'd be this big.

He pinned your hands above your heads and gave you a few seconds to adjust to his size before he began to thrust into you. You gasped and moaned out as he began to fuck you. The feeling of his mushroom tip dragging across your gummy walls drove you crazy with pleasure. He leaned down and began to kiss and suck on the soft skin on your neck. You moaned out as you put your head back. The feeling of JJ thrusting into you was euphoric. You had never been fucked this good before.

You began to roll your hips as he thrusted into you. He let out a low groan as he thrusted into you and you met his thrusts. You felt that familiar knot brewing in the bottom of your stomach and you knew that you were going to cum any second now. You clenched around JJ's hardened cock, signaling to him that you were about to cum. "Fuck.." He moaned. "Are you gonna cum for me, princess?" JJ asked with a smirk before he moaned out. "Shit! Yeah, I'm gonna cum!" You moaned out loudly.

"Come on, cum for me, baby." He said. With that your eyes rolled, your legs trembled and a scream tore through your throat as you gushed all over his cock. JJ thrusted into you a few more times before coming himself, shooting his load deep inside of you, painting your walls white. He let go of your hands, freeing them from his grip as he slowly pulled out of your now sensitive pussy. You gasped a little and began to catch your breath. "Fuck, that was amazing." You said with a breathless giggle. "Fuck, I know." He said with a chuckle. "Your pussy is 100% the best one I've ever hit." He said with a smirk.

As the two of you were talking and trying to catch your breath while you were still unclothed, you didn't even notice John B standing there at the door staring at the two of you in shock. When you and JJ finally noticed John B standing there your eyes widened as you covered up your naked body with the blanket. "You two fucked in my bedroom on my bed?!" John B yelled slightly. "Fuck yeah we did." JJ said with a smirk. "And I'd fucking do it again." JJ said with a devilish smile.

Author's Note: tysm for reading!

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thecameronchronicles · 2 years

Text

Anything For You

TW: Threesome. Smut. Language. Kidnapping.

SUMMARY: Rafe kidnaps JJ to fulfil one of your fantasies.

Rafe would do absolutely anything for you and you knew it. Embarrassment or wrath left behind him, the smile on your face or the way you chose to show your gratitude was enough to risk anything and everything for. But this would be shown in excess tonight.

WORD COUNT: 2100

REQUESTED FROM WATTPAD

tvish_tpwk

heyy, would you ever consider writing a threesome story including rafe and jj

Anything For You

“A door?” You teased, turning back to Rafe as he’d just removed the blindfold he’d set across your eyes for the last half hour. A master of suspense of sorts as he favored tormenting you into delayed gratification, he would prompt an expressionless redirection of focus before opening the door before you. Set in an office chair, bound to the arms, and cursing every expletive under the sun, had been a familiar blonde-haired pogue who always made you curious to know his touch.

You loved Rafe, but you couldn’t deny how JJ Maybank made your panties wet without much more than that smirk, a smirk you wanted to ride into a new orgasm.

“I have one stipulation.” He added, catching your arm, as you’d made your way over to the bound surfer rat.

“You can come as many times as you want…but he doesn’t get to.”

You nodded, nearly bouncing on the balls of your feet, before moving towards your ‘gift’. Your fingers were careful to pull the blindfold off of his eyes as it took the blue irises a moment to adjust before narrowing to you.

“What the fuck is going on-” When his eyes focused on Rafe, he spat his familiar expletives that had your boyfriend clenching his fists and jaw, before you made your intentions known.

“Rafe is letting me play with you…” You explained as his eyes sharpened. JJ wasn’t blind. You were Rafe’s girl. Rafe’s sexy, bold, and reckless girl. But still Rafe’s girl. For that, he wasn’t stupid enough to look at you, let alone touch you. Not that he had much of a choice as he was kept in place by the binds forced by your boyfriend.

“I’ve always been curious, JJ…” Your fingers were at his belt, forcing him from his restraints as he cursed and clenched before feeling his cock wrapped by your small but endearing motions.

“Now Rafe is letting me play with you, only if you don’t come…and I don’t want to disobey him…we both know how he can get…” Rafe rolled his eyes as you would look back at him with a smirk, all while pumping JJ.

“Fuck…” JJ groaned, your thumb brushing over his cock’s head and taking the precum to your lips.

“He’s so good, Rafe…But I want both of you.” Rafe and JJ both looked at each other with hatred, but mutual lust for you.

“I said, both.” JJ smirked at how Rafe obeyed, moving to your side as he dismantled his jeans and brought his cock to view. The grin was from the way you had both of them wrapped around your fingers without much more than a gaze from lustful eyes and simple commands they never believed they would acquiesce to in any circumstances. But never before had either of them known a girl like you.

You took Rafe in your mouth, giving him the commitment a boyfriend deserved, especially one who went to lengths such as him. But the way you held JJ in your grasp with fervent focus was enough to nearly accommodate the divided focus. Your ambition continued as both men found pleasure at your guidance, leaving you to grin while biting your bottom lip in a break for breath, at the idea of such power held by their submission.

“Shit…” Rafe breathed as JJ groaned, your body needy for some form of gratification for yourself.

“I know you’re both selfish, but are either of you even going to try to offer to take care of me?” You teased as they both went to speak, JJ’s motions actually forcing the chair into motion, as you were piqued by his desperation.

“Since I already know how good you give it to me, baby…I want to feel how he does…”

“If he comes-” Rafe warned you as you kissed your boyfriend for validation as JJ felt torn between his already fragile morality as he watched the girl who was about to ride his cock now kiss someone else-and not just someone else…a nemesis to his own breed of poverty. But the way you sauntered to him left any reservation at bay while you sunk yourself onto him without anything more than a second’s preparation.

“Oh my God!” You breathed, his foreign stretch making you wince as Rafe’s eyes narrowed to you.

“He better?” Rafe spat with a scoff as you shook your head ‘no’, aware that nobody could compare to Rafe, but JJ was certainly some competition. Even if JJ was bigger, you’d never tell Rafe as you knew it would keep you from getting what you wanted, so you kept your eyes to Rafe while you rode the cock of his enemy,

“Fuck!”

“I mean it, Maybank, you fucking come and I”ll…I’ll hurt Kie-yeah, yeah, yeah…I’ll hurt Kie…”

He clenched his jaw to repress the need to oppose while you diverted your focus from your boyfriend long enough to adore JJ’s straining.

“I thought you’d be able to take a bit more…Kinda disappointed-”

“Untie my fucking hands then and I’ll show you just how much I can take.” He spat behind clenched teeth.

“Would you, baby?” You looked at Rafe. “Please?” He let out a sigh. “I’ll give you some attention, I promise.” He nodded and moved behind JJ, unlatching only one of his hands.

“I don’t trust you, pogue..this is the best you’ll get…Make her happy or I’ll break every finger.”

“Not until I know how they feel-” JJ forced you to kiss him, making Rafe’s jaw clench enough to rattle his teeth into a break, but your eyes flashing back to him in a silent promise was enough to keep him from acting out.

“Untie him, baby…I’m gonna take both of you…” You withdrew from JJ, making him gasp for the sudden absence of your walls keeping his cock warm, as Rafe cut JJ’s other hand free with the pocket knife he held as a warning to the pogue, before both men followed you like mindless slaves.

“Come here…” You invited them both on the bed.

“Don’t you think it’s time you two got along?” They looked at each other before JJ glared.

“I’m not touching him, no matter how badly I need to-” His words were interrupted by your hand to his cock.

“No. I want your attention on me. But I don’t want to worry about one of you strangling the other while I’m in the middle of coming from one of you. So you make nice or neither of you get to come. Is it worth the feud?” You now took Rafe in your other hand, prompting him to consider your words.

“Tell me what I want to hear, boys…”

“Fine-”

“Yeah…” Rafe groaned following JJ’s ill-timed agreement prior to his own.

“Good…Now, take me how I like it baby…and watch me not let him come…” You angled your ass to the other side of the bed as Rafe was quick to oblige, lifting your hips at the same level of his own while you took JJ back into your mouth, your hands reliant on the bed at his side.

“Don’t come.” You warned before he would be allowed the mercy of your mouth while you moaned against him, vibrations making his eyes roll while Rafe battered into you.

“I want to touch you-” JJ groaned. “Need to-”

“Can he?” You turned back to Rafe, watching his teeth tighten as it was clear that any action not focusing on him was one that would take convincing. For that, you rolled your hips for him as his brought him into a nod.

“Touch me, JJ…” You felt his hands reach to your naked breasts, made that way just prior to his actions, as he breathed deeply.

“I’m gonna come, baby-” Rafe warned, your moans having been his focus.

“On my back. Put me on my back.” You retracted from JJ as Rafe spun you onto your back and sheathed into you once again. For a moment, you left JJ in abandon as he clenched his teeth at the sight of your eyes finding him beneath your orgasmic expressions.

“You want to fuck me, JJ?”

“Not a chance!” Rafe clenched.

“Baby…” You warned your boyfriend, making him aware you held the power even if he could have easily bent you to his will.

“Please…It might make me squirt…” You spoke prior to pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as JJ cursed at the thought.

“He doesn’t get to come inside you…got me?” You nodded as Rafe moved from you.

“What are you waiting for….pogue?” You teased JJ as he turned you to face him. As badly as he wanted to thrust into you and risk Rafe’s wrath by filling you to the brim with the cum you endorsed, he was more eager to know you could make his enemy’s girlfriend feel pleasure. For that, he wanted to witness your expressions, every oval made of your lips, and every chill of your skin from him. But the need to prove something to Rafe lifted his narrowed gaze to him, setting you to redirect his focus.

“You want to fuck him, I’d let it happen.” JJ’s face twisted in disapproval of your comment, “Then focus on ME.” He quickened his pulses as you looked at Rafe.

“That what you want, hm?”

“Rafe? RAFE!” JJ groaned at the lack of his name from your lips, but the way you clenched around him was enough to distract him.

“I want to watch you come…I never get to…Please..”

He hesitated, glaring at JJ.

“I can’t until you do…and I need to, Rafe…please…” You bit your bottom lip.

“Fuck…” He groaned, beginning to stroke himself as you motioned him closer. By some perfectly timed precision, both men were brimming to their release rather quickly, warning you of this as you took JJ from between your legs, both of them now being pumped into your hand and towards your chest.

“I’m gonna fucking come right now!” Rafe warned as JJ grunted.

“I can’t hold it!” JJ warned.

“Come. Both of you…RIGHT NOW!” You demanded as they buckled, spurts of cum coating your chest and down your breasts as you used your dominant hand to mix it together before bringing it to your lps.

“Even better together.” You smirked, “So who’s gonna make me come now?” As if orchestrated to do just this, JJ moved to your clit with his fingers as Rafe had you pulled over his shoulders.

“You both take such good care of me…” JJ and Rafe couldn’t fight a smirk when looking at each other through this, “Isn’t it better to work together? For me?”

“For you…” JJ answered for Rafe as his tongue was busy at sex, extended inside of you as he sucked viciously to swallow your coming release.

“I’m so close!”

“Come for Rafe, sweetheart…I want you to drown him for me, okay?” Rafe glared towards JJ, who was beaming, while your breasts were fondled by someone who wasn’t him. Meanwhile, you basked being fought over as you climbed closer and closer to that high.

“I could come all over you again, princess…coat every inch of you, so fucking sexy covered in me-”

“US-” Rafe corrected with a growl.

“Sorry. Us.” JJ rolled his eyes as you brought your cum stained fingers to JJ’s mouth. He sucked them clean, focusing on your taste and not that of his own or Rafe’s, as your face contorted for him.

“Gonna come?” He asked as you nodded, Rafe pulling himself even deeper into you, ditching his tongue when you began to shake, and instead using two fingers spread to your g-spot.

“I think we deserve to know…” Rafe nodded, actually agreeing with JJ as you couldn’t help but illuminate at how you brought the enemies together with teh power of your sex.

“I’m gonna come!”

“Now?” Rafe teased.

“RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD! FUCK!”

“God, she sounds so pretty, so desperate…no wonder you’d even let her fuck me to make her happy…” JJ teased Rafe, who smirked. As this was the truth, Rafe would do anything for you to make you happy. Even if it meant watching you fuck a pogue…

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beyonddmythoughtssworld · 1 year

Text

paper hearts || jj maybank x carrera!reader

Summary: After being rejected, JJ turns to the reader to mend his broken heart, not taking into account her own.

Word Count: 11.8k (she's long I couldn't help it)

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, angst, verbal altercations, slapping, she's wordy but worth it

"When you lose a thought... where does it go?"

Breaking away from your own thoughts, you turn your head to the blonde just as he passes the joint over to you. Grabbing it, you watch as he exhales the puff of smoke before looking at you expectantly. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“I don’t know. It’s lost,” You respond after a few moments. He had managed to stump you with that, the effects of the weed making it the most profound question of the night.

Bringing his arm up to lay under his head, he turns his face so he’s looking at the sky again, the star of the moonlight reflecting off his face. You take another hit before passing it back, taking the time to admire him.

You were aware enough to admit the crush you’ve had on JJ since you met him. It was hard not to. Taking the physical aspect out of it, which would be explanation enough, you’d grown to admire the heart of the surfer over the last few years you’d known him.

You noticed the way he’d drop everything for the people he loves. You noticed how he was always up for some crazy adventure, opting to live with no regrets. You noticed how the carefree blonde would fight to protect his friends. You noticed him.

And he noticed that.

It was no secret amongst the group that you had feelings for him, just something that wasn’t addressed. You were Little Carrera, and Kie made it clear when she introduced to the group that there would be no funny business. It was then that you were informed of the ‘no pogue-on-pogue macking’ rule.

Kie was the first to notice how your eyes lingered on the blonde when he entered the room, and she brought it up semi-casually as you guys were hanging out.

“JJ is… complicated,” She began as you guys were sitting on your bed, the movie long forgotten. “He’s great… amazing actually. But he’s not the relationship type. And you’re very…”

She trailed off, but it didn’t take much effort to fill in the blanks. On top of being considered the ‘baby’ of the group - a term you’ve grown to detest - it didn’t take long for them to notice that you’re the type of person who wears your heart on your sleeve; John B once describing you as someone with ‘big feelings’.

If you were to have JJ, you would want all of him. And JJ Maybank was many things, but willing to break down the walls he built up was not on that list. It’s funny, really. The same man who would risk his life for the people he loves has a hard time even saying the word itself. And while that stopped you from pursuing him, it wasn’t enough to diminish the way he made you feel.

Maybe it was because he welcomed you with open arms, growing the closest over your time in the group. Maybe you were holding out because you hoped that one day he would come to the revelation that you were someone he could break down those walls for. That you wouldn’t hurt him. Whatever it was, you were head over heels.

Unbeknownst to you, Kie also had a conversation with JJ not too long after.

“I’m not saying you have to be with her,” She quickly said when she noticed the shocked look on the blonde’s face as she revealed your crush. “I’m just telling you because… she’s my sister and maybe if you’re aware you can stop doing things that send her mixed signals. That is, if you don’t feel the same.”

“No,” JJ replied, wincing at the speed and how that came off. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s great. I love being around her, I just.. don’t have those feelings for her.”

He wanted to add that he instead shared those feelings for the older Carrera, but the words caught in his throat right just as he opened his mouth to do so. He’d been wanting to confess his own feelings for Kiara for months, and he assumed when she pulled him off to the side ‘to talk’ that she would be bringing up her own feelings for him.

Then again, maybe she doesn’t want him to send mixed signals to you because she doesn’t want anything to happen with you guys. What if this conversation is a way for her to find out if he has feelings for her younger sister, cause that would mean he doesn’t have them for her?

“Great.” Great?

“I mean, well, you know what I mean.” She waved off, but he desperately wanted her to tell him because he didn’t know what she meant. “Just don’t do anything to lead her on. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt her,” He promised, not even really saying it to appease her. You were too good of a friend for him to intentionally hurt you. You were too good of a person for him to be that malicious, especially now knowing how you felt.

And he truly meant that promise when he made it.

But when JJ was hurt, he had the tendency to do stupid things. Very stupid things.

Which brought you guys to laying next to each other in the hammock outside of the Chateau, sharing a joint while looking at the stars. He could feel your eyes on him, and it was making it harder to tell himself to not do this stupid thing, no matter how easy it would be. It would stroke his ego, you wouldn’t question it, and he would be able to get lost in the feeling of you to forget the embarrassment of the rejection he faced earlier that day.

He finally had the balls to tell Kie how he felt, and it did not turn out how he wanted.

“Jayj..” Kie trailed off, eyebrows knitting together as she was unable to find the words. But JJ could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t feel the same way. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away before turning back around and smiling like nothing was wrong.

“It’s all good. I just- Well, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try,” he backed away, Kie reaching out to him and calling his name with this sympathetic tone that made JJ grimace. “Really Kie, we’re all good. Just forget I even said anything.”

She had left the Chateau not too long after, making some excuse about being tired from their beach day. But JJ knew it was because she felt awkward around him now, and he cursed at himself for reading her wrong and thinking she felt the same. Now, he might have screwed things up just in the friendship.

At the very least, she would be walking on eggshells around him or looking at him like a sick puppy who needs pity, and the thought humiliated him as much as it angered him.

She had asked you if you were riding home with her, to which you declined. JJ offered to take you home when you wanted, not surprised when you didn’t hesitate to agree. Once Pope left and John B turned in for the night, the two of you decided to go out for a smoke session before he planned to drop you off.

Part of him wanted to blame Kie. While he appreciated the conversation they’d had about you then, all he could think now was that you were forbidden fruit being dangled in front of him. Maybe he wanted to hurt Kiara back. Maybe he just needed to feel wanted by someone that day.

Whatever the reason, JJ found himself turning to face you, catching you off guard. Normally he would pretend as if he couldn’t feel the eyes on him, but now he was looking at you and not saying anything and fuck you couldn’t breathe.

The devil and angel on JJ’s shoulders were having a full out war. This is wrong. It would be the worst thing he’s ever done, and he knew he was an asshole to do anything with you knowing how you felt about him. And how he felt about your sister.

But you were beautiful. And you were looking at him as if he held the world in his hands and fuck he’s about to do something completely stupid.

He leans in, pausing when your breath catches in your throat out of nerves. Pulling away, JJ looks at you.

“Is this okay?” The question was futile, both of you knew that. But he could see the uncertainty swimming in your eyes, not knowing if this was the effect of really good weed or if he was actually making a move on you. After a few moments, you snap out of your head and realize you have yet to respond.

“Yeah,” You whisper, afraid if you speak too loud you’d break the bubble the two of you seemed to be in. He leans in slowly, you mimicking his actions and meeting him into a soft kiss. It was short, the two of you pulling apart but still centimeters away from each others face.

This is the part where he tells you that was a mistake. He’s gonna tell you he’s just high, and that you should forget-

But you’re cut off by his lips slamming on yours, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Both of your hearts were beating a mile a minute. You lightly grabbed the hand that was on your face, needing something to ground you as you felt you would float away at any moment. Surely this would be what killed you.

“You wanna go inside?” JJ mumbles against your lips, kissing you softly. No, that would be what killed you.

“Yeah,” You reply, kicking yourself in the ass for not having any other words in your vocabulary right now. But he doesn’t seem to mind as he gets out of the hammock, using one hand to grab yours and help you off while using the other to stabilize the swinging.

His hand is still holding yours as he leads you into the Château and his makeshift room. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling you between his legs and kissing you again.

JJ knew that he was crossing so many lines they were basically nonexistent at this point. He meant to stop after the first kiss, but you looked so fragile in that moment when you thought he would reject you. Is that how he looked when he told Kiara how he felt?

Maybe it was good that he kept kissing you. You would be devastated and embarrassed, and he couldn’t be the cause of that knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end. Sleeping with you would be like killing two birds with one stone. He’d be able to consume himself with the distraction that you’re providing, and you would get what you’ve always wanted from the blonde.

JJ did whatever to rationalize his actions because he didn’t want to stop. It felt good to forget, and who better to lose himself in than the girl who basically worshipped him?

Grabbing the back of your thighs, he lifted you up until you were placed on his lap, resting his hands on the small of your back as he lightly ran his tongue on the bottom of your lip to ask for permission. You grant it, giving up control instantly and bringing your hands to the back of his neck, pulling at the end of his hair.

He grunted against you, starting to guide your hips so you were grinding against him. He begins to harden as you gasp, and he pulls away as a thought pops in his head.

“Are you a virgin?” You blush at the question, but shake your head. Thank God. JJ could barely write off what he’s doing now, but he would be going straight to hell if you trusted him with that and he went through with it knowing his intentions.

When JJ leans back in, you don’t allow any more interruptions. Pushing him back on the bed, the two of you get lost in the feeling of each other.

•••

JJ is woken up by the smell of bacon.

At first he’s sure he’s just having a very vivid dream, but his eyes pop open after a few moments when he realizes it’s reality. When the hell did John B go to the store?

He rolls over to the other side of the bed, stuffing his face in the pillow and inhaling. The scent of mango and vanilla overwhelms his senses, and he sighs contently at your known fragrance before his eyes pop open for the second time. The events of last night come rushing back, and he sits up in the bed.

You’re not in the room, which makes him think there’s only one place you would be. He should’ve known. If John B was cooking he would’ve woken up to the smell of smoke instead of perfectly cooked bacon.

He gets out of the bed, pulling on his boxers before grabbing a random pair of sweats off the ground and putting those on as well. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he walks down the hall to the kitchen to see you at the stove.

On top of the bacon you have sizzling on the back burner, you’re currently scrambling some eggs. You’re wearing only one of his cut out shirts, and his eyes run up your legs before settling on a very noticeable handprint on your outer thigh.

You’re dancing lightly, swaying your hips back and forth as you hum to yourself, and JJ feels a pang in his chest knowing he’s gonna be the cause of your hurt once he tells you he wants to forget about last night. He steps further into the kitchen, clearing his throat and lightly chuckling when you jump before turning to face him.

You’re startled at the sound, so caught up in playing the song in your head and making breakfast that you don’t even recall hearing the bedroom door open. Your face flushes as you take in the blonde standing across from you. He has bruises littering his neck from where your lips left their mark, and you’re sure if he turned around you would see the remnants of your nails digging into his back.

“Hey!” You greet cheerfully, unable to stop the wide smile from taking over your face as the events from last night settled into being reality. “I’m making breakfast. I sent John B back out to get orange juice, I know it’s your favorite.”

JJ thanked you quietly, and your face grew concerned at his tone, "You okay?"

He opened his mouth to tell you that you should talk about last night, but you turned back around and continuing making the eggs and you just looked like you felt lighter on your feet. When you looked back at him, he saw the light in your eyes and just how overall content you looked right now.

He had sex with you less than ten hours ago, he can't hold your heart in his hands and then drop it like its nothing. So, he made the decision to have the talk later. You were happy. He wasn't going to ruin that.

He made his way over to you, placing his hands on your waist and leaning over to press a kiss on your forehead, "Perfect."

He ignored the guilt he felt when you leaned into him.

Kie was first extremely confused, which quickly turned into pissed.

It'd been three days since she'd last been to the Chateau, and she would be lying if she said it wasn't because of the blonde. She didn't mean to be awkward, but he had caught her off guard with his feelings. She assumed she was doing the right thing by giving him space afterwards to give him time to come to terms and hopefully move on from it altogether.

The last thing she expected was to come back and see you two cuddling on the couch while watching a movie on your phone. Your head was laying on his chest, and she would've thought nothing of it if it weren't for the way JJ was running his fingers up and down your leg that was laced between his.

When you saw her, you sat up as if you were caught, which in a way you were. You had yet to tell Kiara about what happened with JJ, too caught up in spending time with him and not really finding the right time outside of that to bring it up. You didn't know how she would react considering you were went against her advice and pursued the surfer, and honestly you wanted to bask in the whirlwind that was JJ Maybank.

The morning after you felt like you were on Cloud Nine, the buzz of the weed no match for how high you got off from his presence. He'd dropped you off later that morning after you ate breakfast with John B, the brunette noticing a shift but deciding not to say anything. When he arrived at your house, you hesitantly looked at him because you didn't really know where you two stood.

"Um, I guess I'll see you later at the Chateau?" You asked, trying to keep your tone casual. But both of you knew the double meaning behind your words. To your delight, he had leaned over and kissed you, pulling away after a moment before agreeing.

He waited until you made it to the front door to start his bike again and drive off, and you unlocked the front door clumsily as the events of the night replayed in your head. You came inside, leaning against the front door to shut it with a smile so wide on your face you felt like your cheeks would burst.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" You turned to see Kie looking at you with an amused expression. She had just grabbed a box of strawberries from the fridge, adding it to the half done parfait.

You smiled as you walked over to the cabinet, grabbing the bag of crushed granola and setting it on the counter next to the ensemble of yogurt and fruit Kie had already laid out. You shrugged your shoulders, "Nothing, just a good morning."

"Okay, Ms. Morning-Person-all-of-a-sudden," Kie teased, bumping her hip against you playfully. "Want a parfait?"

"Sure, but put mine in the fridge. I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick," You say before kissing her on the cheek and heading towards the stairs. Kie watches as you bounce up the stairs, shaking her head at your good mood but deciding not to question it further. If you're happy, she's happy.

"Sorry," you stated bashfully, leaning into your arm now but not moving any further from JJ. "No one’s here and we got distracted."

Kie knows you're referring to your lack of a response when she had texted you earlier, but she was too stumped by the sight before her. Her eyes move from you to JJ, who's still watching the movie as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. Fixing her face, Kie smiles at you, "You're good. I didn't mean to interrupt... whatever this is."

You wave her off, climbing over JJ to get off of the couch and grabbing your phone from his hands, finally managing to draw JJ's attention from the device to the conversation.

You mention something about your phone dying anyway, and while you're walking to JJ's room Kie fixes a glare on the blonde. The man in question at least has the decency to look a little ashamed, anger swimming in Kie's brown eyes as she walks closer to him.

"The only reason I'm not making a scene," She started through gritted teeth, "is because she's in the other room."

He sits up on the couch, using his hands to push himself off.

"Jealous?" The most dick headed comment slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, Kie's gaped mouth at his balls just adding to how much he felt like an absolute asshole in that moment. He could hear the bitterness in his tone, and he grimaced.

"JJ I swear to God-" She steps closer to JJ, who would've stepped back if it didn't mean he would fall back into the couch.

"What's going on?" Your voice asks from the where you're standing at the beginning of the hallway, halting when you notice the tension in the room that was not there before you left. Kie moves from JJ, putting on her best smile as she waved you off, "Nothing."

Before you could question further, she stops you.

"Oh, I forgot. Guess who brought extra food from the Wreck for us," She sang, and you gasped in excitement. You’d been starving, the group all making plans to meet here for dinner and Kie promising to bring extra food after her shift. She holds out her keys as you grab them from her hands, practically running out the door to her car.

Kiara whips her head back to JJ, gaze murderous.

"What the hell is your problem?"

JJ attempts to shrug, "I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Don't play that shit," Kie snaps. "You tell me you have feelings for me and I come back to find you macking on my sister?"

"We were watching a movie, relax," He attempts to walk past her to no avail. Kie steps right in his path.

"JJ."

"It's not what it seems," JJ lied. It was exactly what it seemed like. "We've just been... hanging out."

Kie gives him a pointed look, and he sighs. They both have a silent argument, knowing exactly what JJ was doing. JJ looks out of the screen door to see you making your way back from the car, struggling to lift all of the bags.

"She's happy, alright?" JJ says quickly, eyes bouncing from Kie's figure to yours. "Isn't that all that matters? Please just... don't say anything."

Before Kie could get a word out JJ was bolting out of the front door.

You struggled to lift the huge bags of extra food while attempting to not drop the keys, cursing Kie in your head for not warning you. Then again, you didn’t really give her time to. The sound of the front door opening makes you sigh in relief, your eyes lighting up at JJ walking towards you with his hands out.

“Gimme those,” he stated, taking the weight off you and walking next to you back inside. You open the door for him, watching as he walked to set the food down on the table. Your eyes move to Kie, who’s glaring at the blonde and when she meets your gaze you question her with your eyes.

Shrugging, she moved from her position back over to you, grabbing the keys from your hands before muttering, “I’m gonna go pick up Pope.”

As she walks out the door, JJ turns to you just as you fix your inquisitive gaze on him, “She does know that’s what John B’s doing, right?”

“Don’t know,” JJ shrugs, walking back over to you and dipping his head down, “All I heard was we have the place to ourselves.”

You smirk up at him, meeting him halfway as he pulled you into a kiss.

•••

The more time he spent with you, the more JJ’s guilt began to fade.

It’s been two weeks since he begged Kie not to say anything to you. He planned on telling you himself later that day, the reality of his actions setting in when he was face to face with his actions. It was when he was truly able to reflect and see that he was completely disregarding your feelings in this.

But every time he looked at you, he couldn’t get the words to come out of his mouth. He couldn’t be cause of your pain, knowing exactly what that pain feels like. You were so happy, and he couldn’t bring himself to ruin that. He rationalized his actions again, deciding that he could grow to have those feelings for you. He just needed time.

JJ found that it wasn’t hard to. He does enjoy spending time with you. Without the thoughts of Kiara looming over his head, he was actually able to focus on you outside of just being his friend.

You didn’t push conversations, willing to just sit in comfortable silence. You laughed at his antics instead of scolding him, sometimes even joining along. You were considerate, always letting him know you were there if he wanted to talk but not pushing him any further. You were always there.

JJ also found that he really likes kissing you.

He liked how he could feel the nerves coming off of you when he leaned in close to you, how he could practically hear your heart beating out of your chest. He’d spent so much time actively ignoring your crush on him that he didn’t take the time to pay attention to how cute you are when you reacted to him.

The last two weeks have shown that JJ has just been looking in the wrong place. Sure, his feelings for Kie were real. But they weren’t like the feelings he had for you. JJ always felt like he needed to prove he was good enough for your sister, but with you it was never a worry. You assured him that he was enough, and he’s never felt that validation.

Things were still very new, JJ not being able to say he was outright in love with you. But you were patient, letting him know from jump that you weren’t putting any pressure on him.

“We can just play it by ear,” You shrug as you guys talk about your newfound relationship. “There’s no pressure. We can just see where it goes, and if it ends up going nowhere there’s no hard feelings.”

JJ knew he should’ve ended it, but the thought of taking things slow and seeing where things go with you two didn’t seem terrible to him. If anything, he liked the idea. When you take his initial intentions out of it, this is just two friends exploring the possibility of something more.

He didn’t care that Kie still wasn’t really speaking to him. He’d never felt more wanted in his life, and he began to crave that feeling. He also found himself wanting to reciprocate, wanting you to feel how you make him feel.

Which brought you guys to your nightly smoke session out on the hammock. Every night for the last two weeks, the two of you venture off to smoke a joint, JJ pulling you into a shotgun and relishing in the lust that takes over you. More times than not, those moments end in him leading you back to his room and losing himself inside you.

“Y/N, can I talk to you?” JJ looks over to see Kie standing over you guys as you sit on the hammock. She has a determined look on her face, and JJ instantly knows why.

Kie had been watching you for the last couple of weeks.

She was able to connect the dots quickly on what sparked your unlikely relationship. What she hasn’t connected is why he’s keeping it going. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and yet he’s continuing to lead you on and give you false hope. Then again, maybe it was for the same reason she hasn’t said anything.

You are happy. That much is shown with the light behind your eyes and the smile you can’t seem to wipe off your face. You’ve always been a happy person, your bubbly personality spreading to those around you. But this happiness was different. You just seemed so much more sure of yourself.

And it made sense. With the way JJ was acting, there’s no way to even tell the blonde doesn’t have feelings.

Even the rest of the Pogues have begun making comments about the ‘honeymoon phase’ you seem to be in, and she has to force a laugh as they joke about how much your cuteness makes them want to puke.

Even now, she had been watching from afar, only breaking her gaze when John B made a joke about a picture lasting longer.

For two weeks, she’s been holding her tongue. But at this point, the guilt was physically painful. Kie hates that she will be the one to burst your bubble, but she also knows she can’t just sit back and watch her sister’s feelings continue to get played with.

You nod your head, JJ hopping up from the hammock instead, grabbing Kie’s arm, “Give us a second.”

“Okay..” Your voice trails off, confusion filling you once again at the odd behavior that’s been exhibited for weeks now. You knew Kie would feel weird, her sister and best friend dating and all. Nevermind that it did come out of nowhere. But it was weird how much of a problem this is for her.

You couldn’t stop yourself from worrying, wishing you were able to eavesdrop on the conversation but alas, there was no way for you to make your way over to them without being noticed.

JJ walks until he and Kie are out of earshot, turning to face her. His eyes bounce across her face, wincing internally at the anger that's been present every time the girl even looked in his general vicinity.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you even like her?" Kie hits him back with a question. This is the first time she's actually able to get a glimpse into what the hell he's thinking. "You can't lead her on, JJ. She deserves better than that."

"I'm not leading her on," He stays, quickly adding once seeing the look on Kie's face, "Maybe at first it was unclear but I do like her. And she's happy."

He repeats his sentiment he told her the first time she confronted him. And he's not lying. He did like you. His feelings for Kie began to diminish the longer he spent around you, while his feelings for you only grew. He was shocked himself at how easy it was to be with you.

"Because she doesn't know the truth!"

"So what? You want to go over there and break her heart?" He pointed in your direction. He knew it was a low blow, but he couldn’t stop himself due to the fear of you finding out.

"It's not me doing the breaking."

"Kie, look," He focuses on her, noting for the first time how he’s not nervous to make eye contact. "Just give me some time. I haven't even had time to really work through all of this shit. I'll tell her myself before I do anything to hurt her."

“Work through- JJ she has feelings for you. Not ‘I’m trying to figure it out’ feelings, actual deep fucking feelings for you. And you used that because you were what? Angry at me?”

He sighs, unable to really argue with her because it was the truth. He did use you. He was angry and hurt and you made him forget that. But it’s not the same now as it was then. He’s been looking at you in a new light and he’s kicked himself in the ass for not trying to before.

“I’m an asshole,” he states. “I know that. But take the bullshit with us and that night out of it, I care about her. A lot actually, and I know that’s hard to believe with me trying it with you and all… but I’m honestly happy you turned me down.”

When Kie looks at him skeptically, he continues, “Seriously. Me and you didn’t make sense. But me and Y/N… I can’t explain it but we just do. I’m not saying you have to trust me or even like that I’m with her, but I’m telling you the truth when I say I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. If you tell her, she will hate me. Please just don’t make her hate me.”

Kiara’s hard gaze softened the more JJ talked. In all of this, she had forgotten that she knew JJ. Take away the impulsivity and roughness, he cared about his friends more than life itself. She knew deep down he didn’t do this to intentionally hurt you. And he did seem to be genuinely terrified at the thought of you hating him, which makes her think he has to have some sort of feelings for you.

She turned around to look back at you, battling with telling you or letting you be happy. If JJ was telling the truth, and he did have feelings for you, telling you now would only cause discourse and make you feel less of yourself - no matter how untrue it was.

You turn around to see JJ and Kie finally walking back, and you get off the hammock. You cross your arms, looking at the two as they reach you, “Okay, do either of you wanna tell me why you’ve both been acting so fucking weird?”

You weren’t stupid. You knew something was off, but you just wanted to write it off as everyone adjusting to the new relationship. But at this point it’s been weeks and this weird energy just continues to hang in the air.

You watch as JJ and Kie look at each other, the blonde seeming to give your sister the floor to answer. She turns back to you and smiles lightly, “I’m sorry for being weird. I’ve just been getting used to you two, and honestly I was worried about his intentions.”

“His intentions?”

“Yeah. He’s not really the relationship guy and I know how you feel about him and… I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt.”

You sigh in relief, pulling Kie into a tight hug, “I love you. But you don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself. And JJ wouldn’t hurt me.”

You’d pulled away at the end of your sentence, looking at JJ when he confirms your words. He walks over to you and kisses your forehead, and it’s the first time that you’ve noticed Kie not grimace when he shows any affection.

“As long as you’re happy..” she trails off, and you nod at her, “I am. I’m really happy.”

•••

You rush around the Chateau, almost tripping over your own feet as you make your way to the hallway bathroom and check your appearance. You're wearing a short floral dress, the color contrasting your skin and fitting nicely against your curves. You ran your hands through your hair to add more volume, the curls coming down past your shoulders. Perfect.

You needed everything to be perfect.

Making your way back into the living room, you look at the set up. You'd created more space on the floor, pushing the sofa bed in and moving it out of the way. You had a blanket laid out on floor, placing a few pillows so they were propped up on the floor in front of the couch and using fake candles to hold the blanket down. Your computer sat on the floor adjacent to the pillows, ready to play movies.

The wine you snuck from your mom's cabinet sat in a bucket of ice, two wine glasses perfectly placed next to them. The pizza was due to arrive in five minutes, you calling the place just to double check that it arrives before JJ.

To your pleasure, you heard the knocking on the screen door and turned to see the pizza delivery man looking back at you. Once you hand him the money, you grab the pizza with a bright Thank you! and place the box of pizza on the floor.

You sit on the floor, changing positions a few times while you decide how you wanna look when JJ walks in before standing up and pacing. You knew this was a lot. I mean, the most romantic thing you and JJ do is sneak into the Wreck after late night surfing.

But you figured given the occasion you could both venture out of your comfort zones. It was your six month anniversary so a little extra romance is expected. You smile softly, not even being able to wrap your head around the fact that you're about to celebrate your six month anniversary with JJ.

The last six months have been everything. JJ was the best boyfriend, always attentive and just making you feel like you were the only person when you were in the room. When your relationship first took a turn, you didn't want to get your hopes up. You knew you would be JJ's first serious relationship and you expected him to run for the hills.

But he surprised you. He spent so much time trying to get to know you in a different sense, not as his friend but as someone he saw himself wanting to be with. When he asked you to be his girlfriend you were sure you would fall to the ground from your knees being so weak.

You two were having a smoke session on the hammock, the two of you passing the nearly gone joint back and forth. JJ suddenly turned his head towards you, “I like you.”

You smile teasingly over at him, “Well I would hope so.”

“I mean it,” He whispered, flicking the joint away. He gets out of the hammock, it swaying as he moves to stand. He holds out his hand. “Come on, baby.”

You grab his hand, letting him guide you out of the hammock and moving until your back was placed against the tree. “What?”

He scans his eyes over your face, moving the small curls from your face and tucking them behind your ear. His fingers run down from your ear to your jaw until he was lightly cupping your chin, running his thumb over the skin. “Nothing. I just want to be able to look at you when I do this.”

“Do what-?” He cuts your question off by using his fingers to tilt your head up, placing a soft kiss. He pulls away, face inches from yours and you can’t tell if it’s his heart or yours that you can hear beating.

“Be my girlfriend?” He asks, his voice low as he looks nervously at you. You’re frozen for a second before you pull him back into another kiss. He was so cute thinking he even had to ask, but you were happy he was ready to put a label on your relationship.

You kiss him, “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He’s done everything since then to be a perfect boyfriend, making you happier than you’d ever remember being. So, everything tonight needed to be perfect.

Speaking of the devil, you hear the screen door open and stop your pacing to see the blonde at the door, looking at your layout before turning his eyes to you, running them over your figure. “Holy fuck.”

He makes his way inside, the screen door shutting behind him. You start to play with your fingers, smiling shyly at him, “Too much?”

He doesn’t say anything, he just walks over to you and pulls you into a kiss, his hands squeezing your waist as he deepens it. His hands move to your ass, gripping the flesh as he pulls away once successfully making you breathless, “It’s fucking perfect, baby. You’re fucking perfect.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him back into a kiss. You have to move your hands to his chest after a few minutes, pushing him away lightly, “The pizza’s gonna get cold.”

“Screw the pizza. In the mood to eat something else.” He rasped, trying to pull you in another kiss and pouting when you moved your head back. You playfully pointed a finger at him in warning.

“Nice try, blondie. Dinner then dessert,” You lead him to the blanket, giggling as he playfully groans.

“How can you do this and wear that and expect me not to fuck you senseless?” You gasp as he lightly slaps your ass, pecking your cheek as he moves past you to sit down on the floor. You sit next to him, scooting over once he motioned you closer.

“I just spent the last two hours setting this up, so we’re gonna enjoy it,” You tease. “Besides, we have hours for you to fuck me senseless.”

He hums, kissing you again and leaning back on the pillow. “Alright, pass a slice and let’s start the movie. You’re gonna need all the energy you can get.”

•••

JJ felt like he was on Cloud Nine.

The only way to describe the last six and a half months with you is that it felt like a never-ending high. He couldn’t remember a time where he felt happier, a time when he felt more loved than he did since being with you.

Falling for you was as easy as breathing. He kicks himself in the ass for even thinking of being with anyone who wasn’t you. He never thought he’d be the guy to say that someone brings out the best in him, but that’s what he got with you. You make him want to be the best person. Not because you didn’t already think he was perfect, but because JJ wanted to be someone who deserved to be loved by you.

A couple of weeks after Kie gave her approval, JJ was able to come to terms with his feelings for you. He had completely gotten over Kie, and all of his attention and affection was solely on you. It was weird for him to even think about there being a time when he did like your sister. Considering how easy it was to forget them, he’s not even sure they were ever really real.

You were everything and more.

Not long after he realized his feelings, he asked you out. And it was pure bliss from there. You were the most amazing girlfriend he could ever even hope to have. You exceeded every expectation, calmed every insecurity that he had, and made him happy.

He catches himself smiling just thinking about the promise of seeing you, and his heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest whenever you’re near him. He loves you. He was completely, hard down in love with you.

He realized that a few months into the relationship. Having never felt it before, he didn’t know what to make of how he felt when he was near you. But he couldn’t ignore how he felt after he came to you one night, completely broken only for you to remind him that mend his bruises and his heart.

He curses as his feet momentarily slips from the thick branch, getting his footing and knocking on the window to your room. He doesn’t make a habit of sneaking in your window just for the simple fact of not wanting to die from falling out of a tree, the two of you opting to spend most of your time at the Chateau.

But when his dad came home on a drunken, drug induced rampage and decided to take his anger out on him, he only wanted to be near you.

You're rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you pull open the curtains, JJ feeling like shit for waking you up at this hour but admiring how cute you look in your sleepy state. When you see him, you immediately unlock the window and step back as he climbs inside.

You reach over and turn on the small lamp on your desk as he shuts and locks the window, turning back to him and gasping at his appearance. JJ knows he looks terrible. He’s gotten punched in the face at least three times, the rest of his father’s punches aimed towards his body once he moved to protect his face.

“Oh, baby,” you whisper, taking his hand lightly and pulling him to your bed. You sit him down, sneaking out of the room to the hallway. You come back a few moments later with a bottled water and First Aid kit, pulling out some Neosporin and gauze pads.

You say nothing as you wet the gauze and clean his face, eyes knitted together in concentration as you clean the blood. When you’re done with that, you move to put the Neosporin on his lip and the cut on his cheek from where his dad’s ring got him.

You get up to put the First Aid on the desk, walking back over to the bed and taking his hands again, “Come lay down.”

“I’m wearing outside clothes.”

“I don’t care,” She responds, and JJ takes his boots off and climbs in after his girl. He lays on his back, you using that he places behind his head as a rest as you face him. You run your fingers softly over his face. He doesn’t talk, he knows he doesn’t need to and she won’t push him, one of the many things he loves about you.

You sit up a little, leaning over to softly kiss his bruised cheek. You place another one on his lips, him reciprocating and relishing in the care. Your fingers move to the end of his shirt, fumbling with the fabric and he knows what you’re gonna ask. “It’s okay.”

You lightly kiss him again before continuing your movements. JJ watches as you slowly lift the front of his shirt up, eyes not being able to leave your face as your eyes tear up at the bruises littering his torso. His heart beats as you move your head down to place light kisses on these bruises as well.

JJ can’t help the tears that start to form in his eyes now. The way you touch him is a complete contrast to what he’s used to. The complete contrast to what he’s shown is “love” his entire life. You always handled him with so much care and love and he gets overwhelmed with the way you make him feel.

“I hate him.” You speak against his torso, placing one more kiss before moving back to your lying position. “He doesn’t even know how amazing you are.”

He looks over at you, and you wipe the fallen tear that he hates that fell from his eyes but wasn’t uncomfortable with the vulnerability. If there was anyone he wanted to be vulnerable with, it was you.

It was at that moment when he felt this overwhelming sense of happiness. It was like a rush of affection spread through him, and he brought his other hand up to rub his thumb against your cheek. You lean into his hand, and he’s speaking before he even realizes.

“I love you.” He whispers so low he’s not even sure you heard him, but the way your eyes move to him tell him you did. It’s the first time he’s ever said it, and he watches as your eyes dance across his face.

“I love you too. Always have.”

The relationship grew from there, JJ finding it easier to show his vulnerability and the feeling of love only growing the more he was with you.

He misses you when you’re not around, John B and Pope teasing him when he jumps to answer your texts. He waves them off, boasting about how they wish they had a girl like his - no offense to Sarah. Sarah would take his side, always telling him how happy she was to see them together.

“I always knew it,” She stated, the group looking at her with different pointed looks. “Well I didn’t know, but I promise I thought it.”

Kie took a little longer to come around, and if he’s being honest he doesn’t think she has fully forgiven him for his intentions when you two first got together. But she eased up with time, only really seeming weird when how you two started gets brought up. She always manages to change the subject, which JJ is grateful for and even more grateful that she does it subtly.

The funny thing was that JJ didn’t even recognize the person he was before you. It was like there were two of him, the one before you and the one after. JJ was absolutely head over heels, and he would do anything in his power to never lose you.

•••

“Fuck, JJ,” You gasp as your head throws back, JJ placing kisses on your neck as he drives his cock deeper into you. You’re in your room, and JJ’s basking in the empty house and how that means he doesn’t have to worry about keeping you quiet.

He uses a hand to grip your thigh, pushing it so it’s pressed against the mattress as he snaps his hips against you. This drives a louder moan out of you, and he bites at your neck, “Like that?”

You nod your head as your eyes roll back, and he places kisses down your neck to your chest and pulls one of your nipples into his mouth. He flicks his tongue at the nub, grunting when your hand comes up to the nape of his neck and pulls at the hair.

He feels you clench down on him, and he knows you’re closer to another orgasm. Wanting to see you fall apart, he brings his head up to see yours still thrown back in ecstasy. He groans at you clenching again, your pussy like a vice around his dick. Bringing his face to yours, he nudges your chin with his nose, “Come ‘ere.”

You bring your face down to him immediately taking your lips in a kiss. You whimper against his lips, and he grunts in response as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. He’s pounding into you, his movements growing sloppy as he gets closer and closer.

“You close, baby?” He asks you against your lips, pecking you once you nod. “Yeah? Come on, come on my cock.”

He lets go off your thigh so you can wrap your legs around him. You wrap both of your arms around his neck as you pull him closer to you, his words triggering your climax. If possible, your pussy wraps itself even tighter around JJ and he groans as pushes his face into your neck as he reaches his climax.

You’re shaking against him, and he places kisses on your throat as he talks you through it, “That’s it. You did so fucking good, baby. Ride it out. ‘M right here.”

Once the last waves of your simultaneous orgasms fade, JJ lazily grinds against you as he brings you into another heated kiss. You’re so out of breath you can’t kiss him back fully, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to feel you against him, wanting to keep being lost in you.

He slows his movements, placing kisses around your face and running his hands up and down your sides, your thighs, the side of your ass, everything he can touch. You giggle, but keep your arms wrapped around him to keep him near you.

“We’re so late,” You laugh against him as he kisses you once again. JJ doesn’t care, he would spend all day here if he could. Just like this. And if you keep making your pussy clench around him by laughing he’ll flip you over and make you even more late.

“You started it.”

“I bent over to grab my shoes,” You joked.

“Tomayto, tomahto.”

You laugh harder, pushing him away. He pulls out, immediately missing the warmth of you. Falling to the bed next to you, he shuts his eyes only for you to object, “Uh uh, come on. Shower time.”

His head immediately comes up, raising an eyebrow at you, “Round Three?”

“JJ!” You laugh as you climb out of bed, and JJ bites his lip at the sight of you stopping your movements when you can’t walk. “We need to get ready so we can leave.”

He gets off the bed, walking over to you and lifting you up so your legs wrap around him. You both make sounds at your sensitive parts grazing each other with the movement, you glaring at him when you feel him start to harden.

“JJ, we don’t have time-”

“We’re already late. What’s ten more minutes?” He begins to walk out of the room to the hallway to the bathroom. Fuck he loves it when no one’s home. When you two live together, he’s making a rule of no clothes in the house.

“Fine, but if they start bitching when we get there I’m blaming you,” You warn. “I’m surprised they weren’t blowing our phones up.”

“They probably were. I turned them off.”

“JJ!”

•••

JJ’s running his fingers down your thigh as you both lay on the hammock. The both of you are sitting sideways to face the group, his foot on the ground to anchor you and rock you back and forth as you all just get drunk and screw around.

“Oh my god and you missed it!” Kie looks at you as they all recap the beach day. “Sarah caught a wave and stayed up!”

You perk at that, looking over to the blonde who is not blushing. John B pulls her in as he confirms, “Yep! My baby’s getting better and better every time.”

“Really?” JJ spoke to Sarah from his spot, and Sarah rolled her eyes, “I was up for like two seconds.”

“But that’s two seconds more than the last time,” Pope points out, and you all laugh before sending Sarah her praise. The blonde had been wanting to learn to surf for the longest, tired of sitting pretty on the beach as you guys spend the day catching waves.

She’d been learning for a few weeks, John B not even letting her on the board until he made a presentation about the history and mechanics of surfing. If she didn’t pass the test he gave her - an actual, multiple choice test - you’re sure she wouldn’t even see the board for another few weeks.

“Just another thing you guys missed when you ditched beach day,” Sarah gave you two a pointed look as she wiggled her eyebrows. You turn to hide your face in JJ’s chest as he has the opposite reaction.

“Worth every hour,” he responds, and you slap his chest lightly. He catches the hand in his, kissing your forehead.

“God, it’s still weird seeing JJ as such a simp.” John B comments, and you all laugh as JJ raises a finger to the brunette.

“Funny. It’s hard to think about a time when he wasn’t,” You replied, placing a soft kiss on his neck.

“It’s the most un-JJ thing ever,” Pope chimes in. “Before you two he wouldn’t be caught dead doing half the shit he does.”

“It’s cute though.” Sarah says, leaning more into John B. “They’re cute.”

“Crazy to think that a year ago we would’ve never thought you two would end up together. I mean,” John B laughs, “I could’ve sworn he liked Kie-”

At the mention of her name, your sister kicks at John B to shut him up. You all look over at the motion, laughter dying down a little. At the new information, you chuckled at the thought as you looked at JJ.

“Kie?” You raise your eyebrows, and he opens his mouth to respond but Pope cuts him off.

“Well obviously not ‘cause you guys started dating,” He looks over at Kie, still confused by her actions. She’s been acting weird since this topic came up.

“Ooh,” Sarah drunkenly chimes in, attention span like a squirrel, “Please tell us how it happened.”

“Sarah it’s been months,” Kiara says her first words since the topic was brought up, and you turn to her. Why is she acting so weird?

“So?” Sarah chuckles, turning back to you and JJ. “Come on, you guys never told us the story. How’d it happen? How did you profess your undying love?”

You laugh at her dramatic tone, shaking your head and shrugging, “You guys already knew I liked him. All of you.” At your last sentence, you nudged JJ who smiled down at you. There was something odd about it, something you couldn’t really place but he just kissed your forehead again.

“Well, yeah, but how did he tell you he liked you back?” Sarah asked, looking at JJ expectantly.

“Oh that wasn’t until after-” You begin to say, but JJ cuts you off.

“I always liked her,” You give him a pointed look, not believing that the blonde likes you before your night together. I mean, he probably had an inkling of feelings, which didn’t shock you. You never expected him to feel the same way. You still remember your shock when he made the move.

Kie scoffs, and you look over at her as she looks as if she didn’t mean for the sound to come out. JJ defends himself, “‘M serious. Just too stupid to realize.”

He places a finger on your chin to bring you to his lips, kissing you, “Sorry for being stupid.”

You hum against his lips, “You’re forgiven.”

“I’m gonna get another drink.”

Kie is standing and walking into the Chateau before you can even process her words. You look at JJ who’s wearing an unreadable expression, turning to look at the rest of the group, “Is she okay?”

You get up to follow her, but Sarah stops you by standing up and pushing you back down, “I’ll go. You stay here and keep being cute.”

She stumbles off, and you lean back into JJ, not being able to shake this weird feeling settling in your chest.

Kiara is leaning against the sink in the bathroom as she takes a deep breath to level her anger. How could he just sit there and lie so easily?

She had to get the hell out of there before she said something she didn’t want to. She’s been able to successfully avoid this conversation from happening around her, not being able to deal with the guilt that still bubbles when she thinks about how she lied to you. How she’s been lying to you.

She could write it off as you being happy so it doesn’t matter how you and JJ started, but it was hard to do that when he just blatantly lies to your face. It was one thing to never mention it but it’s another thing to just sell you a dream.

“Hey, you okay?” She turns to see Sarah standing at the door of the bathroom, and sighs in relief. If it were you she would’ve blurted out the truth instantly. She’s been able to ignore this feeling because it’s obvious JJ has grown to love you. But she’s your sister and she completely lied to your face about something so important.

“It’s one thing to be okay with them but it’s another to sit there and watch him lie to her,” Kie speaks her thoughts aloud, and Sarah walks into the bathroom to stand on the other side of her.

“Lie? What do you mean?”

“I can’t…” She tried to walk out of the bathroom, Sarah instantly pulling her back and making her face her.

“Whatever it is, it’s big enough to be bothering you. Does this have to do with JJ having that crush on you? Did you like him back or something?”

“No!” Kie instantly replies, shaking her head. When Sarah looks at her with an expectant look, she decides to just tell her. As she begins to, she feels the weight she forgot was there leaving her shoulders.

You’re leaning against JJ as Pope and John B start talking about some random thing that happened to them, you not paying attention to it because you were so focused on Kie.

She was acting so weird, and the more you sat there the more you wanted to find out what it was. Did she feel weird about the thought of JJ liking her? It’s a weird thought for you too, but Pope was right. You two are dating so that obviously wasn’t the case.

“I’m gonna go check on her,” you mumble to JJ, sitting up and surprised when he grabbed your arm to stop you, moving to get up himself.

“I can go,” You place a hand on his chest, pushing him back down and looking at him weirdly. “It’s okay, she’s my sister J. I got it.”

He leans back into the hammock, but you can feel how tense he is by the hand on his chest. Getting up, you walk to the Chateau and open the screen door. Confused when you don’t see Kie and Sarah in the kitchen, you look around before hearing their voices come from

the hallway.

You follow the voices, leading you to the bathroom and catching the end of Kie’s words.

“..and then I came back a few days later and they were a thing.”

Was she talking about you and JJ? You leaned against the wall, keeping your distance to not draw attention and eavesdropping. You would feel bad, but this behavior was a reminder of how Kie was acting when you two first got together and now she’s talking about you two.

“I mean, I didn’t know what to do. One second JJ was confessing his feelings for me and then the next he was like attached to her hip.” What?

You feel a weight start to build in your chest as you process her words, thankful when Sarah asked her to elaborate.

“Wait… so the day JJ told you he had feelings for you… he slept with Y/N?”

“I figured. Within the same time frame at least. And I wanted to tell her but she was just so happy and then he told me that he was beginning to like her and after a while it became easier to not say anything because they’re .. well they’re good together.”

You’re thankful for the wall you’re leaning against because you’re sure if it wasn’t there you would’ve collapsed from the shock taking over you at your sister’s words. The day you guys hooked up, the day that changed everything for you, he was telling Kie he had feelings for her?

That doesn’t make sense. Why the hell would he sleep with you if he had feelings for her? He’s never even mentioned having so much as a crush on your older sister, and you run through the events of that day.

He did seem upset. When he offered to smoke, part of the reason you agreed was because he just looked like he needed it, and he spent the first half of the smoke session in silence when normally he wouldn’t be able to shut up. You didn’t question it then, thinking it was just normal JJ on a bad day.

But Kie didn’t come back to the Chateau until days later. Every time you mentioned it she just said she was pulling extra shifts at the Wreck. And when she came back the energy between them was weird… No.

Everything over the past months just clicked in your brain as a lump forms in your throat. JJ kissing you out of nowhere, Kiara’s weird behavior around you two, the secret arguments. Kiara told you she was worried about JJ’s intentions, and it was then you knew the real reason why. He did have feelings for her, and he told her about them and she turned him down. And then he had sex with you.

The lump in your throat grows tenfold, damn near making it hard to breathe as tog continued listening.

“But it’s never really been brought up how they started and I guess I just got nervous about having to lie to her. Again.” You snap back at Kiara’s words. Silence hangs in the air as Sarah’s drunk mind processes.

“I get it. She is happy, but Kie,” Sarah starts, before speaking more delicately. “You’re her sister. You would want to know if the guy you’re dating liked Y/N. if you were in her shoes and this is obviously eating you up still. Why don’t you just tell her? I’m sure-”

Deciding you were done listening, you stepped into the doorway of the bathroom, catching the attention of the two girls. “Yeah, Kiara.”

Sarah’s eyes move to you just as Kiara’s body whips around to face you. You stare back at her, betrayal swimming in your eyes as the tears you can no longer hold back begin to fall, “Why don’t you?”

“Y/N,”

They both spoke your name, still in shock of you listening. Guilt fills Kiara’s eyes as she looks at you, stepping forward and reaching out to you. You back away, pointing at her and opening your mouth to speak but the words get caught in your throat. Not even being able to find the words, you just shake your head.

“Don’t talk to me,” You don’t give her a chance to respond, walking down the hall and outside of the front door. You ignore the calls of your name behind you, only stopping momentarily to look at JJ who’s sitting on the hammock.

At the sound of the door slamming, he turns his head and two emotions come across his face. Concern. Then fear. It was then you confirmed Kiara’s words were true, and you could only walk away from the house and yard, wanting to be as far away from them as possible.

The thought that JJ used you to get over your sister made you sick, and you clutched your stomach as you walked. You heard Sarah and Kiara behind you, the boys making their way over to you as well. You can't even hear what they're saying, too caught up in the thought that the guy you loved not only used you, but lied to you for the entirety of your relationship.

He never had feelings for you. But he knew you had feelings for him. And he knew you would fall at the drop of a dime if it meant he gave you an ounce of attention, and he used that to his advantage.

The feeling of a hand grabbing your arm to turn you around snaps you from your thoughts, "Wait, let me explain. Baby-"

Your hand comes up before you can think, slapping JJ across the face. His head whips to the side at the impact, a pink handprint already appearing as he turns back to you. He still hasn't let go of your arm, gripping it like he's afraid you would float away. And honestly you feel like you might.

"Baby... please-"

"Don't talk to me," You repeat the same sentiment you gave Kiara to JJ, yanking your arm from his grip. "Don't ever talk to me again."

Your voice cracks as you speak, and you could only focus on JJ. He has the nerve to look like a kicked puppy, tears forming in his eyes. What the fuck was he crying for?

"I don't know what you heard but-" He attempted to step closer to you, but you backed away instantly as he reached out for you. If possible, that made him look even more devastated. You wanted to laugh. He did this, and yet he's acting like the one hurt?

"I heard about you having sex with me to get over your rejection from my sister," You snapped, slapping his hand away once he tried to reach for you again. You walked away, JJ following as he pleaded his case.

"Okay, I told Kie I had feelings for her but," He stutters. "But that doesn't matter now-"

"It doesn't matter?" You turn to face him again, the anger on your face forcing JJ to take a step back. "If she would have said yes, you would have never looked my way."

The thought makes your face crumble, and more tears fall as you look at the guy who betrayed you in the worst way.

"You never looked my way," Your bottom lip trembles as you shake your head. "I was just the one you settled for when you couldn't get what you really wanted."

"I did not settle with you-" He begins to argue, his voice growing hard at the fact that you would think that. He's interrupted by you slapping him across the face again.

"At the very least, you could not lie to my face anymore. You've done that enough these last few months," You whisper. You start to break down, chest heaving as you begin to sob.

"I can't even..." You place a hand on your chest, trying to catch your breath before waving him off, "Just.. leave me alone."

You face the rest of the group, looking at the array of emotions. Sarah's crying, John B and Pope both share a shocked expression but it turns to sympathy as they look at you. Your eyes settle on your sister, watching the tears run down her face as she looks back at you guiltily. She says your name, and your eyes harden as you speak to her.

If anyone was supposed to tell you the truth, at all times, it was her. She's your sister and she just sat back and watched you fall for a guy who never cared about you. She sat back and watched you fall for a guy who wanted her.

"Both of you."

You walk away, glad that they took the hint and decided not to follow you. You feel someone walk beside you, though, and you turn to see Sarah as she throws an arm over your shoulder and comforts you as you continue walking from the Chateau, not having any clue how the hell you move forward from here.

---

link to part two

#obx #obx jj #jjmaybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank smut #jj maybank angst #obx fic #jjmaybankfanfiction #outerbanks #jj maybank x y/n

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k2padfoot · 1 year

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hi babes!!

it’s been awhile since i’ve written anything worthy of posting for you all ): life’s been crazy and i’ve been stuck between 3 different imagines. I’d like to eventually finish each but the writers block is hell lmao. i was hoping to get your opinions on which you’d like to read most for some inspiration!

JJ Maybank x Y/n: Rafe & Barry take you captive in return for the cross.

Rafe Cameron x Y/n: Your boyfriend Rafe had been in recovery for awhile now but that doesn’t mean relapses can’t happen when you least expect it.

JJ Maybank x Y/n: JJ goes hiatus making go over to his house in a panic. When you get there you realize a bad fight has gone down between JJ and Luke and somewhere in between you comforting JJ you’re hit with a bullet.

comment 1, 2, or 3 pls!!🤍🤍🤍

#jjmaybank #obx fic #jj fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #rafe x reader #jj x y/n #outer banks fanfiction #reply post

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backtotheshitshow · 1 year

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Taking requests:

-Dean Winchester

- Ethan Landry (scream 6)

- Wally Clark (school spirits)

- Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man)

-Pietro Maximoff (Age of Ultron)

- JJ Maybank ( outer banks)

-James Potter ( Marauders era )

-Remus Lupin (Marauders era)

-Sirius Black (Marauders era)

- Dave Lizwiski (kick-ass)

- Sebastian Sallow (hogwarts legacy)

Masterlist

May add more to the list later

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miley1442111 · 2 months

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your anchor- j.maybank

a/n: i didn't imagine a fem! or male! reader so imagine what you want :)

summary: after an argument with your narcissistic sister, where can you go?

pairing: jjmaybank x reader

warnings: mentions of being upset, family drama

You stumbled out of your house, tears in your eyes as you went. What did I do to deserve this? You thought to yourself. I did everything right. I was polite, I didn’t start a fight. So why were you leaving crying?

————————————————————————————————------

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t?” Your sister shot your way. A sinisterness behind her words,

“N-no! I’m just saying it’s not… sorry.”

“Why do you always do this?!” She squealed, tears falling freely as your parents sent you angry looks. You fellow siblings either rolled their eyes or sent you looks ranging from frustration to understanding.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Well you did. Just fuck off!” She screamed. You obliged.

——————————————————————————————————

You grabbed your bike and started cycling away. All you cared about was leaving. You hated this place. You hated her.

A dirt bike rev pulled you from your thoughts, you slowed, wiping your tears away.

“Baby?” It was Jj. Your Jj. “What’s wrong?”

And the floodgates opened again. He immediately jumped off of his bike, running to you. He helped you off the bike and into his arms. He held you to his chest, whispering words of support and love. He was always this. He was your anchor. He calmed you. He supported you. He loved you.

After calming you down, he helped you onto his bike, your bike left behind,

He drove slower than usual, constantly looking back to check if you were ok. You walked into his and John B’s house, arms folded and hunched over. Your body language was a clear sign you wanted to be left alone. Well, alone with Jj. But John B clearly didn’t get the memo and came up to you, arms open in a hug.

“Y/n!” He smiled, engulfing you in a suffocating hug. Jj noticed your lack of reciprocation and tapped him on the shoulder. John B looked his way and he shook his head, mouthing “she’s upset” to him. John nodded and let go, a sympathetic smile on his face. “You best get to bed, it’s late. I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?”

You simply nodded as Jj led you further into the house. You walked into his room.

“You wanna shower?” He offered and you shook your head. He nodded as you sat on his bed. He grabbed a hoodie of his and a pair of sleep shorts you’d left there a few days ago. You took the clothes and quickly changed, then you went into the bathroom, Rafe hot on your heels. You brushed your teeth and washed your face, Jj had almost your entire skincare routine in the bathroom, he had the toothpaste and mouthwash you liked too, and a green toothbrush that he’d bought for you.

“I’m tired,” you yawned, climbing into his bed.

“Wanna talk first?” He offered, holding you close to his chest, you face fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck. You shook your head and he squeezed you closer, pressing a kiss to your head. He stayed up for a while longer as you slept, making sure you were ok. It made you feel good, knowing he was there for you. Your anchor.

#jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fluff #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #obx #jj obx #obx fic #outer banks #outer banks x reader #obx x reader #obx fanfiction

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babeydollx · 5 months

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The Fifth Day of Kinkmas: Nipple Piercings | JJ Maybank

Warnings: cursing, smut, nipple play, mentions of sex

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female Pogue Reader

Summary: In which, when Y/N is sleeping over at JJ's house, she tells him that her piercings finally healed.

Author's Note: sorry this one is short.

12 Days of Kinkmas Masterlist

You were laying beside JJ, snuggled up in his side when you looked up at him. "Mm.. Jayj?" You asked quietly. "Yeah cupcake?" He asks. "I have something I have to tell you." You said as you sat up slowly. JJ followed you and sat up as well before looking your way. "Okay, what is it?" He asked as he tilted his head. "I mean it isn't a big deal or anything but... my piercings healed." You said with a giggle. "I- you're nipple piercings?" He said with a grin.

"Yup!" You said with a smirk. "Wanna see them?" You asked. "Fuck yeah I do!" He said as he was quick to peel your top off of your body before discarding it somewhere on the floor. You smirked when you saw JJ's face. He was looking at your tits like he was a kid in a candy store. "Well, don't just sit in stare. Come on, touch them." You said with a giggle as you moved your long hair out of the way. His hands slowly moved up your sides before they reached your breasts.

He put his hands on top of them before gently squeezing them. You bit your lip as you watched him play with your tits. He massaged them for a little bit before gently tugging on your nipples, causing you to gasp and whimper. "Fuck.." You said quietly with a sigh. JJ just smirked before leaning down to suck on your left nipple. You gasped and moaned out, running your hands through his soft blonde hair as he continued to suck on it, massaging your right breast with his hand. He sucked on it for a few minutes before pulling back.

"Well we need to give the other one love, now don't we?" He said with a grin before moving to your right tit, drawing the hardened bud into his mouth, sucking on it. You put your head back and closed your eyes but your eyes quickly shot back open and you gasped when JJ gently bit down on your nipple. He pulled back to admire your tits before looking up at you with a smirk. "I am going to have so much damn fun with these tits tonight." He said with a devilish smirk.

Author's Note: tysm for reading!

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grapejuicestyless · 3 months

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In My DNA

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n and JJ have been seeing each other for months, but when it all ends, JJ is left to deal with the consequences of his actions.

“Just because I don’t love you in the way you want me to, doesn’t mean I love you any less.” My heart pounded in my ears, the sound of crushing aluminum and dry grass crunching underneath my shoes as I followed her across the front lawn.

“JJ, stop.” She puts her hand behind her, trying to plead for me to stop following. Our chase makes a scene, even if we are alone in the open morning breeze. But the feeling of eyes looking at us makes me aware of the curious gazes of our nosy friends, with their palms pressed against the window to watch.

“No, no, I won’t stop until you tell me what I’ve done wrong!” I try to stay calm, her shaky voice already setting off my bubbling anger. I am an angry person, I have so much to be mad at the world for. Though I do not show it frequently, I find myself ticked off by the tiny things until it breaks the surface and the pent up frustration turns into bloodthirsty hate.

Y/n is a sensitive person, she has so much empathy that sometimes I worry she’ll end up destroying herself with it. She doesn’t cry often, but her mouth twitches and her eyes squint in ways that give away her emotions to any given situation, the way her lips tremble or her voice cracks gives her facade away. Shes a good person, a kind girl and a great friend. She’s far too good for me, and that’s something I’m still trying to accept. Those are just the card’s I was dealt, it’s the game I have to play.

She huffs, walking away further until the grass turns to dirt road overgrown with weeds and littered with pebbles that crunch underneath speeding tires.

“Y/n, stop!” My hand grabs her wrist, yanking her back to my body, the thump of my chest hitting her shoulder blades echoing between our bodies, leaving us breathless for a passing moment.

“What do you want from me, JJ?” She spins to look at me, really look at me. Her eyes are filled with something just short of hate and her mouth is wobbling like a child’s. She’s got this kicked puppy dog look about her that makes my heart ache, and I just can’t place why.

“I wanna talk!” I hope she can read the confusion on my face, because her sudden shortness with me after all of our peace together puzzles me. I’ve only now just realized I can’t exactly read her as well as she can read me.

“Then talk!” She shouts, pushing off of my chest but stepping forward again just so we can be nose to nose.

“Why are you so angry?”

“Why are you such a dick!” She pushes away again, spinning on her heals and rushing across the dirt path to where it becomes thick rock mixed with broken cement.

“Would you just stop!” I don’t mean to yell, not at anyone and especially not at her. I want to know why she’s so upset, not make her more worked up. I need to fix this, whatever this is.

“Sorry, sorry. I don’t mean to yell.” My calloused hands cup her arms, working her around until she faces me again. She doesn’t fight my touch, letting the warmth of my palms cover her upper arms and squeeze over the soft skin.

“Please, tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. I can’t think of anything that I’ve done to make you so angry!” Leaning forward, I try to press my forehead to hers, to breathe in the sweet smell of her perfume, get a taste of the fleeting memory of her.

She’s the closest thing to heaven, god sent, my angel. I can’t even think why she would be mad at me, not when I haven’t done anything to her.

“That’s the problem, Jay. You haven’t done anything.” She cries out desperately, trying to make me understand what she’s saying. The look in her eyes tells me she feels betrayed but I just can’t place a finger on it, so she’ll explain it for me.

“I gave you everything I had to offer and you promised me it was enough, but you keep taking things from me and I have nothing left to give.”

Oh.

Y/n is my best friend, the sweetest girl on the cut. A mind beyond her years and a heart so full and feeling, it’s hard to not love her. But poor sweet Y/n, too innocent for the cruelty of the world came knocking on my window for help. Big eyes and swollen lips, too nervous to ask anyone else for help.

I tell her over the course of a few months that I’ll help her, teach her all she needs to know. I steal her firsts out of my own greed, take them at her own pace and promise it’ll always be enough. Until I take the final things from her and she has nothing left to give up. I have nothing else to gain, and neither does she.

But I guess when hooking up with someone as soft and sweet as Y/n, I forgot just how delicate things can get, how mean it can be to just leave them.

“You are enough, nothing will change that.” I can keep telling her this, but to her theres no convincing and in some ways she smart for it, for never being naive. How can you trust someone who just up and leaves when something good becomes something they depend on? She would never know how dependent I was on her, of course, because I would never tell her how long after the night was over, when she was asleep with her cheek pressed against my chest I would stay awake a little longer just so I could keep playing with her hair or admire her face. She wouldn’t know because I’d never tell her.

“You made me feel dirty.” She says it so quietly, but her voice shakes nonetheless. Pointing fingers into my chest and backing me out into the dusty path more and more, spilling tears silently and letting them turn the dust into mud.

“I gave you what you wanted!” I try to argue, but we both know my words are meaningless. We both knew what she wanted, what we wanted, but if I play dumb maybe she’ll be less hurt by it.

“No, I gave you what you wanted! You couldn’t give me mine even if the world depended on it!” She only says these things because I’ve hurt her. I recognize that her feelings are valid, that by spending my evenings dedicated to her and then up and leaving so suddenly I’ve left an impression of greed on her. I’ve taken what she could offer and left her with nothing.

“Just because I don’t love you in the way you want me to, doesn’t mean I love you any less.” I try to paint the words into her mind, let her know that I do love her, I always will, but I have to remind her who I am. Beyond the surface, I’m still a Maybank. The thought of having her and losing her just like my loved ones before me drives me crazy even just thinking about it, so I can’t let myself act on how I feel for her, because it would never be fair.

“And just because you love me doesn’t mean I feel loved by you.” When she leaves, it’s quietly, soft sniffles and heaving breaths fading into the morning sun. I feel the watchful eyes of our friends observing us like hawks, and the hateful eyes of the majority boring a hole into my head. If it wasn’t known before, it is now.

JJ Maybank, the pogue who broke the rules and paid the price for his selfishness. But really, who didn’t see this coming? It’s who I am, it’s in my DNA.

#jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x routledge!reader #jj mayback imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jjmaybankangst #jjmaybank

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calamitykaty · 2 years

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Always Wondering

JJ Maybank x Y/N

Word Count: 5300

Warnings: Alcohol mention, underage drinking, insinuated/mentioned abuse

A/N: After like 6 months, it’s finally here! I don’t write a ton anymore but feel free to check out my masterlist HERE or add yourself to my taglist HERE

The squeaking of the side door that exited to the marina let Y/N know that JJ was off on his 2 am stroll again for the 12th time since he had moved into the loft adjoined to her parent’s house after his dad left. It took weeks to convince him to stay, and he only relented when he had grown tired of walking in on John B and Sarah Cameron hooking up one too many times. He never stayed all night though, and Y/N desperately wanted to know why.

Y/N chewed on her bottom lip and squinted her eyes as she watched JJ’s silhouette cast a long shadow down the dimly lit pier. With a heave of a sigh, she finally decided that watching JJ sort himself out from the sidelines was over. She tip-toed across her room and stuffed her feet into the pair of loosely tied combat boots that her mother absolutely hated, and grabbed her phone from the charging dock.

Y/N moved as quietly as she could across the home until she reached the squeaky door. She couldn’t decide if it was better to slowly open the door or just get it over with like ripping a bandaid off. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She finally heaved a sigh and swiftly opened the door. The door squeaked loudly, and Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. She waited for a moment and slowly opened her eyes when she realized that the house was still silent, except for the loud snoring that came from her parent’s room. Y/N slowly let out the breath that was caught in her lungs and pulled the door shut.

She stuffed her hands into her pockets and quickly retraced JJ’s steps down the marina and towards the dock at the end of the pier. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say to him or if she would say anything at all. Y/N had grown up with JJ and had known him practically her entire life, but once they hit puberty, everything changed, and she couldn’t help the hesitant timidness that his presence put her in.

A splash across the water caught her attention, and Y/N looked up to find JJ sitting on the edge of the dock with his feet dangling above the water. She watched as his right hand grabbed something from the dock, and he pulled his arm back at an angle before he projected it forward and launched the object into the waves.

Y/N approached JJ as he grabbed what she could now see were rocks that he had piled next to himself. She wasn’t sure what possessed her to do so, but as his arm reached backwards to launch the rock, she placed her hand on his shoulder. She could feel JJ jump at her touch, and she quickly pulled her hand back.

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you….”

JJ turned his head and looked up at her with furrowed brows as he scoffed, “I’m a pogue; I don’t get scared.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and looked out into the distance. The moon reflected itself against the dark, choppy waves and Y/N felt mesmerized by it for a moment. She lowered herself down next to JJ and let her feet dangle above the water. JJ watched her every move in silence until his curiosity got the best of him.

“What are you even doin’ out here, Y/N? Your parents are gonna freak if they find out you snuck out.”

“I could ask you the same thing, JJ.”

JJ picked up a rock and slung his arm back before he launched the rock towards the water in the distance, “throwing rocks, what’s it look like I’m doing out here?”

Y/N hummed a quiet “hmm” in response. She knew this JJ well. The ‘closed off, hard as nails, never had a vulnerable feeling as far as he was concerned' JJ.

But she knew JJ better than that, and he knew that too. After all, she had seen him cry when they were seven, and one of the wild horses that the OBX was famous for died after a summer tourist fed it an apple. She cried too, and JJ took every bit of the money he had saved up from recycling old soda bottles and aluminum cans to buy her a small stuffed horse from an overpriced gift shop on the island. Y/N knew there was more to JJ than the tough appearance that he desperately tried to project to keep himself safe.

Y/N sucked in a sharp breath and wiped her hands on her pajama pants to calm her nerves before she finally blurted out the question that had been plaguing her mind since she had sat down.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

“John B?” JJ cocked an eyebrow and shook his head, “Nah, dude smells like cheap beer and body odor.” He laughed and looked over at Y/N with his crooked smile, but her sad eyes told him that he wouldn’t get out of this that easily.

“I…” JJ shook his head, “I don’t wanna talk about it.” JJ anxiously fidgeted with the rings on his right hand.

“You don’t have to talk about it. But, just know that it’s okay to miss him even if you don’t want to miss him. It’s okay.” Y/N knew she was pushing her luck, but that didn’t stop her from reaching over and grabbing JJ’s right hand and intertwining her fingers between his. His palm was hot against her skin, and she lightly squeezed his hand before she let her hand go slack and slid it out of his grasp.

Y/N pushed herself up and took several steps backwards before she turned around to make her way back up the pier, only stopping when JJ’s voice quietly called out to her. She stood in silence and watched as JJ ran his hand through his hair and licked his lips before his eyes met hers.

“We uh--” JJ Paused and searched for his words.

“We--John B, Kie, Sarah Cameron, and Pope...we’re gonna have a bonfire tomorrow night at the boneyard if you wanna go with me?”

Y/N broke eye contact and stared down at her feet. Her long eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks, and she nervously wrapped her arms around her body. Y/N may have been close with JJ, but she wasn’t exactly part of their group. She wasn’t exactly skipping school and sneaking out at night and underage drinking type of pogue. Honestly, if her family hadn’t lived on the cut, she would be mistaken for a kook.

“I'm not sure I would fit in very well but, thank you for the invite….” Y/N muttered insecurely.

Just like the day he bought the stuffed horse, JJ let a comforting smile slide onto his face, and he took a step forward to throw his arm around Y/N’s shoulders, “that’s the beauty of being a pogue, Y/N; we’re all misfits.”

“I’ll think about it,” Y/N conceded and looked up at JJ. He was close enough that she could smell the slight saltiness of the ocean on his skin.

“I’ll take it!” JJ dropped his arm back to his sides and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I should---” Y/N threw her right hand over her shoulder and motioned back towards the marina house with her thumb.

“Oh, uh, yeah….” JJ pursed his lips and ran his hand through his hair, “I’m just gonna stay for a bit longer.”

He watched as Y/N quickly turned around and started her trek back to the top of the pier. The dim yellow lights that lined the pier did little to light the way, and it wasn’t long before she was entirely out of his sight. JJ turned back to the dock and set himself back down next to his small pile of rocks. He plucked a rock up and tossed it from his left hand to his right hand several times before he slung it into the water. He thought about what Y/N had said about it being okay to miss his dad, but JJ couldn’t wrap his head around it. It didn’t make any sense to him that in the quietest parts of the nights, he missed the man that made his life a living hell every day.

JJ fought back the tears that stung the back of his eyes and angrily picked up another rock. He flung the rock at the ocean with violent wrath. The more JJ thought about his dad, the more he wondered if he was bound to end up just like him. He wondered if he was ever going to go anywhere in life or if he was destined to follow the path that his father paved before him; if he was just going to end up as another washed-up alcoholic in the cut. The thought had crossed his mind before when his dad was still around, but lately, it was nestled into a crook of his brain, and he couldn’t shake it from his head.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there on the pier, but the sun had just begun to kiss the ocean’s horizon. JJ finally pushed himself up from the pier once his legs started to get the familiar tingles signaling that just a minute longer and they would have gone numb. JJ quietly stalked back towards the marina house with his head hung low, and his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He furrowed his brows as he approached the marina house and noticed the soft glow of light in the loft window from his bedside lamp; he could have sworn he had turned it off before he left.

JJ tiptoed as quietly as he could up the stairs to his loft and paused outside of the bedroom door that was just barely cracked. He held his breath and slowly pushed the door open, preparing himself mentally for the parenting that he had seen Y/N’s dish out to her but that he had never personally received from his own dad.

“Oooh…” JJ breathed out when he met Y/N’s eyes from across the room. She was sitting in the middle of his bed with her legs hugged to her chest and her chin resting on top of her knees.

“Thought I had been caught sneaking out,” JJ admitted and scratched at the back of his neck. His familiar crooked smile tugged at his cheeks as he crossed the room and laid himself on the bed. Y/N uncurled from herself and laid back onto the bed facing JJ, and her heavy eyes slowly fluttered shut.

“What are you doing up here, anyway?”

“Wanted to make sure you made it home safe.” Y/N let a sleepy smile slide across her face and opened her eyes to find JJ studying her face.

“What?” Y/N self-consciously asked

“Nothin’, c’mere.” JJ let his arms wrap around her waist and pulled her body into hers. His lips met her hairline and pressed a feather-light kiss there. He inhaled her strawberry vanilla scent and hummed to himself in content as her long eyelashes lightly fluttered against his neck until her eyes closed.

When he woke up, it was Y/N’s soft snores and her cold nose pressed against the crook of his neck. The morning sun washed into his room and cast a yellow glow across the small room. JJ wasn’t sure what this feeling was. Home was a concept that he wasn’t used to. Even when his dad was around, home was just a place that held his belonging, nothing more. The blissful moment was short-lived when he heard the all too familiar squeak of the stairs leading up to the loft.

“Y/N!!” JJ quietly whispered and shook the girl.

Y/N furrowed her brows and blinked her eyes rapidly. The brightness of the sun-filtered room was offensive to her rested eyes, and she made it known with a grunt and buried her face back into JJ’s chest.

“Y/N, seriously! You have to hide! Your mom is coming up the stairs!”

That caught Y/N’s attention, and the girl practically threw herself out of bed in a frantic panic. Her parents loved JJ, but she knew if they found her in his room that they would assume the worst and they would definitely re-think letting JJ stay in the loft. Her stressed eyes met JJ’s, and just as his bedroom door was being pushed open, he was shoving her into his closet.

“Morning, JJ…” Y/N’s mom greeted just as JJ shut the closet door.

“Morning, Mrs. Y/L/N. What’s happenin?” JJ lazily slung his body back onto the bed.

“Breakfast is going to be ready shortly,” Y/N’s mother smiled at the boy before her eyes scanned the room.

“Have you seen Y/N this morning? She wasn’t in her room when I went to tell her breakfast would be ready.”

“Nah,” JJ folded his arms and rested them behind his head, “she’s probably out for a run or somethin’, ya know how she is Mrs. Y/L/N, always out there uh pounding the pavement.”

Y/N covered her mouth with her hands to stifle her laughter. She knew JJ was good at getting him and his friends out of situations, but she had never realized how terrible he was at lying.

“Are we talking about the same Y/N?” Her mother asked incredulously, “I have never seen that girl go for a run in her sixteen years of life.”

“Oh? That’s weird!” JJ declared, “she told me she was going to compete in the Sea to Shore 5K they have in a few weeks.”

“Really? Why wouldn’t she tell us that?”

“I dunno, Ma’am. Guess she wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, well...I’ll leave you be. Do you want orange juice or apple juice with your breakfast?”

“Orange juice, Ma’am!”

Y/N waited until she heard his bedroom door close before she tripped her away back out of JJ’s messy closet.

“Training for a 5K? Really?”

JJ shot the girl his crooked smile and shrugged, “that’s a weird way to thank me for covering for you.”

“You better grab me a muffin when you go to breakfast so I can have something to eat. I’ll be famished from my fake 5K training.” Y/N playfully rolled her eyes.

JJ took the stairs down to the main house two at a time. When he entered the small kitchen, Y/N’s dad was already sitting at the small circular dining table with the newspaper turned to the local politics section, and his cup of coffee was held in his right hand. Y/N’s mom was humming to the song on the radio; it was something old but slightly familiar; he was sure he had heard the song before.

JJ pulled a seat out and sat down at the table just as Mrs. Y/L/N placed a glass of orange juice in front of him.

“Morning, JJ!” Y/N’s dad lowered the paper slightly and smiled at the blonde boy.

“Morning!”

JJ reached for a blueberry muffin and placed it on his plate before he piled eggs, bacon, and anything else he could put his hands on. He still hadn’t gotten used to having home-cooked meals on the regular. Every time he ate, it felt like a luxury, and he would be lying if he said that sometimes he was jealous of the life that Y/N has. When he was left with his own thoughts, he would reflect on the honest love her parents have for each other, the warm environment they created for her, and even though he didn’t mean to feel envious, sometimes when he was out on the dock and wrapped in his own thoughts, he would wonder why he didn’t get to have a life like that too.

JJ could feel that feeling sinking into his joints as he sat there and ate breakfast with his makeshift family. He pushed his seat back and gave a rushed thank you with a tight-lipped smile. The blueberry muffin sat forgotten on his plate as he high-tailed it back to his room.

When he opened his door, he found his closet had seemed to explode across the room, and Y/N was in the middle of it all.

“What are you doing?”

“Uhhh, organizing your chaotic closet?” Y/N offered sheepishly.

The feeling that he was trying to push back down began to bubble up, and before he could bite his tongue, the sharp words had already left his mouth.

“I don’t need you trying to fix me, Y/N.”

“I…” Y/N dropped the hangar that was in her hands.

Y/N’s heart fell to her stomach. Her sad eyes pleaded with JJ to let her in, to let her try to help him, but he turned away and bowed his head.

“Just….just get out.”

“I...JJ, I can’t. They’ll see me leaving your loft.”

JJ sighed and nodded his head, “Right-, then...I’ll go.” JJ shoved his feet into his old beat-up boots and pushed past Y/N before she could even begin to form a response.

Y/N let out an exasperated groan as she stood in the empty room. She knew that JJ could get in his head, and she knew it wasn’t aimed towards her; she just wanted the stubborn blonde to let her in for more than one fleeting moment at a time. Y/N buried her head into her hands and rubbed her eyes before dropping her hands to her sides. Her eyes scanned the mess that had exploded across the room, and she sighed before picking up JJ’s brown jacket and the discarded hangar that she had dropped. She slid each side of the hangar into the shoulders of the coat and hung it back up in the closet.

Y/N spent the rest of the afternoon laid up in her room reading, writing, cleaning, doing whatever she could to keep her mind off of JJ. She even briefly, very briefly, contemplated actually going for a run. That thought was interrupted, though when her door slowly creaked open. Her mom stood in her doorway with a laundry basket of folded clothes held between her left hip and arm.

‘Heard you went for a run this morning? Some kind of training, JJ said….” Her mom walked into the room and placed the laundry basket by the foot of the bed.

“Uhhh, yeah. He bet me $20 and a month’s worth of dish duty that I wouldn’t do it.”

“Hmmm,” her mother hummed in response before adding, “you look pretty worn out from that run; how far did you go?”

Her mother picked up the laundry basket and moved it over to the dresser. She opened the first drawer and picked a few items out of the basket to place into the drawer. Y/N could feel her hands becoming clammy. She knew her mother was fishing around, trying to find a loophole in JJ’s story, or more specifically, Y/N’s story.

“I-uh..” JJ made this look so easy. “Not very far.”

Her mother picked up the laundry basket again and moved towards the closet this time. Y/N’s eyes watched her every movement.

“You know,” Her mother grabbed a hanger from the closet and placed a navy blue shirt onto it, “Grace Darcy at the other end of the marina runs the 5K every year. I’ll call her mother and see if you can train with her. She’s a sweet girl; I’m sure she’d be happy to give you some pointers.”

“That’d be great, thanks, mom.” Y/N silently cursed JJ and his stupid lie.

Y/N watched as her mother hung up the last garment and stowed the laundry basket back into the left corner of the closet before she turned the light off and closed the closet door.

“Your father and I are going out tonight with the Cameron’s. Do we need to leave pizza money for you and JJ?”

Y/N dog-eared the page she had been reading in her book and sat the book down on the nightstand. She tucked her hair behind her ears and shook her head, “No, JJ’s going to a bonfire with his friends, so it’ll just be me. I’ll make do.”

Y/N waited for the question that she knew was coming. Her mother honestly couldn’t help herself; being nosy was practically ingrained in her jeans. Before she met her father, Y/N’s mother lived on the other side of the island with the Kooks. It’s one of the reasons that Y/N had so much trouble fitting in. She felt like she never had a real identity. She went to plenty of events on the island’s north side and played the part perfectly, but she lived on the island’s south side, and therein lies her identity crisis.

“You’re not going with him?”

Y/N looked down at her hands and shrugged, “I think JJ could use some time away from me. I maybe pried into his life a bit too much the other day….”

Her mother sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her hands. Y/N looked up to find her mother looking at her with gentle eyes and a soft smile.

“I know it doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense, Junebug. But, sometimes when we are hurting, it’s easier for us to push away the people that want to help us than it is to let our guard down.”

“What are you trying to get at, mom?”

Y/N’s mom chuckled and patted Y/N’s shoulder, “all I’m sayin’ is that maybe you should go to the bonfire.”

“Hmmm,” Y/N mused, “I dunno, mom, seems like you were saying a lot more than that.”

Y/N stood back in the distance and watched as the pogues chugged back beers around the roaring fire. Their laughter echoed across the beach, and for a moment, Y/N contemplated just going back home. What if JJ really didn’t want her to be there anymore after their...well, whatever it was that happened in the morning between them.

Y/N turned around to head back to her car and immediately collided with a body, and with a sharp inhale, the scent of sandalwood, vetiver, and vanilla filled her nostrils. She knew exactly who it was. Y/N took a step back and made her face as stoic as possible.

“Rafe,” Y/N acknowledged and sidestepped to get past him, but before she could make another move, Rafe had spun around and slung his arm across her shoulder. Her body was tucked into his, and her heart was pounding. She desperately willed JJ, John B, Pope, or anyone to turn around. Y/N and Rafe had their own short-lived romance that ended abruptly when JJ moved into the loft. Rafe didn’t scare her, but he had a way of making her feel exposed and uncomfortable.

“Leave her alone, Rafe,” Sarah Cameron’s voice made her presence known before anyone could see her. Sarah grabbed Y/N’s elbow and pulled her way from Rafe without stopping for a single second. Y/N stumbled over her own feet and held onto Sarah’s arm to steady herself.

“Thanks for that….” Y/N sheepishly ducked her head as the words left her mouth.

“He’s a moron.” Sarah rolled her eyes as she looked back towards Rafe. Her blonde hair whipped around her face, and just as Y/N was about to offer her the black hair tie that adorned her wrist, John B was running up towards them and wrapped his arms around Sarah’s waist. Sarah tilted her head back against John B’s shoulder and smiled at the tanned boy. Y/N awkwardly cleared her throat, feeling incredibly out of place.

“Was wondering when the infamous Y/N was gonna make an appearance!” John B reached out with his right arm and gently nudged Y/N shoulder.

The blood rushed to Y/N’s cheeks making her face warm with embarrassment, “I can only imagine what that means.”

“We were hoping you’d show up and fix our boy cause he’s spent the last our sulking,” Y/N followed John B’s gaze across the beach.

“Pretty sure that I’m the problem,” Y/N looked down at her fidgeting hands, “but I’ll give it a try.”

Y/N watched JJ from a short distance. He had his knees pulled to his chest; his right arm was wrapped around his legs while his left hand picked up sand and let it sift through his fingers. Y/N slowly walked towards JJ with a final deep breath until she reached his side. She could feel his eyes staring up at her, but she kept her eyes on the distant ocean while she lowered herself next to him on the sand. She sunk her hands into the sand and let it sift through her fingers before dipping her hands into the water as the tide rolled back in.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N finally said quietly. She jumped at the sounds of JJ’s abrupt chuckle and furrowed her brows.

“What do you have to be sorry for? I’m the idiot, like always.”

“I wish you would see yourself the way I do…the way everyone else does…” her words came out quietly as she finally turned to look at JJ.

His eyes were red, and she wasn’t sure if it was because he was high or if it was because he had been crying, but the tousling of his hair definitely told her that he had been pulling at his hair in angry frustration.

“Like a fuck up? I’m pretty sure I’ve got that on lock.”

Y/N shook her head and sighed heavily. She could feel her frustration starting to bubble up, and it was a side of her that she kept at bay with JJ, a side that he didn’t get to see of her, a side that she didn’t want him to see. She knew that JJ had a hard life, and she knew that he was used to getting yelled at and that his dad took his problems out on JJ, so she never wanted JJ to see a side of her that could resemble his dad.

Y/N tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She focused on the smell of the salt in the air, the sound of the crackling wood from the bonfire in the distance, and the feeling of the cold ocean water crashing into her feet.

She opened her eyes and tentatively took JJ’s right hand, his palm facing upwards. She lightly let her fingers trace over the lines in his palm, and JJ watched her with curiosity in his eyes. Y/N bit her lip and intertwined her fingers with JJ’s.

“I wish you would see yourself the way that I do….” Y/N repeated her earlier words and slowly met JJ’s eyes.

“Because when I look at you, I see someone that puts their all into their friendships. I see loyalty. I see bravery, and I see perseverance. You have had every reason in the world to give up, and you don’t. I know that I am never going to know what life has been like for you, but I—I just….” Y/N’s shaky voice trailed off, and she could feel the threat of tears pushing their way forward behind her eyes.

JJ silently squeezed her hand.

“I just wish you’d give yourself a chance at being loved the way that I love you because I’m scared that if you don’t, you’ll always be wondering, just like you wonder about your dad. B-but not everyone is your dad, JJ. Not everyone is going to leave. Some of us have been fighting to stay, and you…you just push us away. ”

“So, uh, you love me, huh?” JJ’s trademark smile took over his face.

“Huh?”

“What do you mean, huh? You’re the one that said it.” JJ smirked.

Y/N furrowed her brows and shook her head, “No, I said that I wish you’d give yourself a chance at being loved...you know…like letting people love you so y-you don’t have to wonder if people love you.” Her voice shook almost as much as her hands while the anxiety coursed through her veins.

“There’s definitely one thing I’ve been wondering,” JJ untangled their hands and swiftly placed his right hand behind Y/N’s neck. Y/N could feel her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. Her eyes fluttered shut as JJ’s hot breath fan across her lips, and within a moment, their lips were pressed together in what started as a hesitant kiss before Y/N leaned in closer and placed her right hand on JJ’s chest. She could feel his heart beating nearly as fast as her own, and as quickly as the kiss had started, it ended.

“I’m not easy to love,” JJ’s eyes searched hers. Y/N lifted her hand from his heart and placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes as her thumb smoothed across his skin.

“You’ve not been hard yet.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Y/N knew she had chosen the wrong ones.

“Little do you know!” JJ burst into a fit of laughter, and Y/N playfully rolled her eyes.

“We should probably get back to the group, ya know?” Y/N looked over her right shoulder at the rest of the group.

JJ stood up and offered her his hands to hoist her up off of the sand. Y/N placed her hands into his, and JJ gave them a swift pull until her body was pressed against his. He gently tucked a strand of her behind her ear and placed his lips on her forehead before he pulled back and smiled at her.

“Twenty bucks, I can chug a beer faster than John B.” JJ slung his left arm around her shoulders as the pair made their way back to the group.

“You win, I’ll pay you that twenty bucks, but if you lose….you’re running this damn 5K with me that you got me into.”

“You’re on. Hope you’re prepared to lose that twenty.” JJ laughed as they approached the fire. He dug into the light blue cooler and grabbed two cans of beer before promptly throwing one to John B.

“Names?”

“Y/N, Y/LN, and JJ Maybank”

“Sign here and grab your numbers.”

Y/N leaned across the table and quickly scribbled her signature before handing the pen to JJ while she grabbed their numbers and a set of safety pins.

“I can’t believe I lost that stupid bet,” JJ mumbled while Y/N pinned his number to his shirt.

“Well,” Y/N handed her number and a set of safety pins to JJ so he could pin her number to her shirt. “I think that you would have volunteered to run this 5k with me even if you didn’t lose the bet because you’re the one that got me into this anyways!” She said matter-of-factly.

JJ secured the last safety pin and took her hand, “I would have, but not because I got you into it, I would have because I love you and even if it’s dumb and we lose….I can still outrun you, so I would still win.”

“Wanna place twenty on it?” Y/N beamed up at the boy.

All Writing Taglist: **strikethroughs did not let me tag**

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