#jason todd x chronically ill! reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

venusianelf · 2 years

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Your Favorite Distraction

Pairing: Jason Todd x Chronically Ill! Reader

Genre: Fluffy, Mildly Steamy

Summary: A comfy morning with Jay where he’s more than happy to help you forget about your worries.

Warnings: Doctors mention, Reader has implied anxiety, Reader is gender-neutral, Can be read as non-chronically ill! reader

Word Count: ~900 A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for not putting any new fics recently, I had surgery recently and have been having a lot of doctor appointments (which is the inspiration for this fic). Hopefully, I will get around to writing the requests I’ve received/a longer fic soon but if not please understand. Also, this fic is inspired by this edit on tiktok. Anyways I hope you enjoy this fic! <3

As you regained consciousness you felt the warmth of your boyfriend pulling your back to his chest. You sighed contently as you enjoyed his gentle kisses on your shoulder. “Morning, love,” He greeted you with the gruff morning voice of his you loved. Rolling over you smiled at him before you responded, “Good morning, handsome.” You drew your hand up to caress his cheek as his eyes fluttered shut. You leaned up to peck him quickly on the nose before he laughed.

“What was that for?” He asked as he reopened his eyes and peered down at you. “Dunno, just felt like it,” You shrugged before he cocked his eyebrow in response. “Well if that’s a good enough reason then I’ll use it too,” He commented leaving you confused before he twisted and pulled himself onto his back and you on top of him. He squeezed your hips and leaned up and caught your lips in a kiss. Melting into the kiss, your hands steadied you as he began roaming your body until reaching your ass. He gave it a firm squeeze before resting his hands there, leaving you giggling into the kiss.

“That kind of morning, huh?” You questioned as you pulled back to break the kiss. “Mhm, now come back here,” He replied before you leaned back down into another kiss with him. You two continued until he heard your stomach rumble. “Breakfast?” He suggested and you nodded. He let you get up before getting up himself and heading to the kitchen. Following him, you leaned against one of the counters as he went about making you two breakfast.

“Look at you being my trophy husband,” You beamed playfully before giggling. “Only for you hun,” He replied with a wink before continuing. You two ate breakfast before heading back to your room to get ready for the day. “So what’s your plans for the day?” You asked as you went about picking out your outfit. “Not much, probably hang around here until patrol time,” He replied before sneaking up behind you and holding you by your hips as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“What about you?” He asked as you sighed. You felt him squeeze your hips lightly at the sound. “I have a doctor’s appointment later, which you know how I feel about them. Especially since it’s a new doctor,” You explained while frowning before trying to lighten up. “But besides that, it’s a free day for me,” You said while turning around in his arms and trying to smile up at him.

“Hey, you don’t have to act like everything’s fine around me. I know how scary it can be going to a doctor you’re not sure about. I’m sure it’ll go fine and if not I’ll beat their ass, but still, if there’s any way I can help you with this, just let me know,” He responded seriously while taking one of your hands in his and squeezing it reassuringly. “Thank you, Jay. It means a lot,” You replied with a small but genuine smile before continuing, “But for now, you can help by distracting me.” He smiled at that and moved his hands to your waist.

“Now that I can help with. I’ve been told I can be quite distracting,” He teased as you chuckled. He leaned down and captured your lips with his as you sighed happily into him. He tasted like coffee and home. You could get lost in his kisses for hours, which today was your plan. When the back of your knees hit the matress you shuffled back onto it as Jason followed you. “Comfortable?” He asked before your nodded and smiled at him. Once settled down he continued his quest by moving to your jaw. He placed little kisses down your jawline as your hand went to tangle into his hair.

Pulling him closer, he continued down your neck. Now leaving little bites along with kisses. Breathily you arched into him as one of his hands slid up under your shirt. When he reached a low enough place his once gentle kisses turned rougher and more claiming. When he pulled back, you saw a proud smirk on his face. “Now you’ll have something to remind you of me all day, even when you’re at the doctor,” He said as you blushed under his gaze. “You know I’m always thinking of you, I don’t need reminding,” You replied as he chuckled.

“Well even so, as you said earlier I just wanted to,” He quoted as you chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” You fake huffed as he leaned closer into you, close but not quite enough. “Ever the attitude,” He laughed as you pouted. “I like it,” He continued before kissing you again. This kiss was more bruising than the others like he was trying to steal your breath away. But he did that already anyways. When you pulled back panting he leaned his forehead against yours. “I don’t know what I’d do without you Jay,” You commented as he chuckled. “Well, you’ll never have to know,” He replied as he rubbed circles with one of his thumbs on your skin. You hummed in response before pecking him quickly.

“I love you,” You said with him beaming in response. “I love you too,” He replied in kind before pressing his lips against yours once more. In this moment you felt your worries melt away and be replaced with contentment and joy that only Jason could bring you.

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xxmrs-waynexx · 1 year

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Rules/Notes:

Please read!!

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH PALESTINE

Who I Write For:

Pretty much anyone in DC. If I don’t write for them, I’ll add them here! This is a new blog so I guess we’ll find out!

What I Will Write:

Smut, Fluff, Angst, etc. Platonic is a fun one for me. I love batfam content.

What I Won’t Write:

Incest, pedophilia, and again, this is a new blog so I guess we’ll find out based on requests what I should add to this list. If you have to ask “do you think nova would write this…?” then send an ask and I’ll let you know!

On a less intense note, I won’t write canon characters ONLY. All things I write will include x reader

Notes:

Hi! I’m Nova. I’m a full-time college student and as much as I love writing, things may become difficult. I also have chronic illnesses and will be in pain/sick 9 times outta 10.

Also, please reblog if you enjoyed anything I have written. It means so much.

In regards to the Batfam/Certain characters:

I myself am Jewish and therefore, I stick with a Jewish Bruce Wayne. Unless specified otherwise (i.e. you want a nice Christmas with him), he will be Jewish.

Dick Grayson is also a Romani Jewish man. He is not white. Not for my little world at least.

Quick Rules:

I will always give trigger warnings/warnings in general

I want to get to know you guys! Send in more than just requests please <3

DC is a dark universe, therefore I do write some dark topics at times

Masterlist:

Bruce Wayne:

Stressed (smut)

Young Again (fluff)

Clark Kent:

Gloss & Glasses Series Masterlist

Dating Clark headcanons (fluff)

Wally West:

You Can Always Call (angst/comfort/tw)

Dating Wally headcanon (fluff)

Jason Todd:

I'm Fine (fluff, nsfw mention)

Tough as Nails (fluff, comfort)

Dick Grayson:

No Peace (fluff)

#dc imagine #dc #dc comics #dc fanfic #batman #batman fandom #wally west x reader #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne x reader #clark kent #clark kent x reader #superman x reader #bruce wayne smut #superman #batman smut

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jasntodds · 1 year

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I am SO late to doing this, I’m sorry 😭 I know I didn’t read A LOT in 2022 but the fics I did read were amazing and I wanted to take the time to mention them in a post!! You guys are so talented and brilliant and creative. I hope I get to read more of your guys’ fics this year!! And I hope all of you have an amazing 2023 💕

I’ll Find You by @lauras-collection

Summary: This was not how you imagined finding out who your soulmate is.

Death Takes and It Takes blurb by @sparklingsin

Exert: There’s a deep ache in the space between Peter’s ribs.A deep ache that travels up his sternum and bubbles up his throat in the form of a low sob.

Rainy Day by @userholland

Summary: after choosing to make everyone forget who he is, peter is still trying to adjust to his new life. with may gone and mj & ned in massachusetts, he’s had to branch out and find new friendships to make. still maintaining his spidey persona, he keeps the city of new york safe everyday and tries to not make past mistakes. everything has been different, almost like a useless re-do he wish he could take back. nevertheless, he finds comfort in you, his neighbor that lives across the hall from him. the citizens of new york may need his help… until you come down with a cold.

(18+) Pistolwhip Series by @silkscream

Summary: peter parker is in love with his high school best friend, michelle jones, and you are in love with peter’s roommate, harry osborn. when mj and harry start dating, you and peter test your limits in a situation that “benefits” the both of you. how far will the two of you go to satisfy each others’ loneliness?

(18+) Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal by @spideyspeaches

Summary: There was something different about Peter Parker, and you were gonna find what it was until your last breath.

Kiss You Goodnight by @fairyofshampoo

Summary: it’s been a long day so peter helps you get ready for bed.

Secret Language (Peter Parker x Mute!Reader) by @waitimcomingtoo

Synopsis: a study in the silence that comes when two people understand each other

Things That Look Like Nothing by @justapurrcat

Synopsys: As if getting caught up into the cliché trap of falling in love with your best friend and having to watch as he falls for someone else wasn’t enough, the universe has decided to take a step further in punishing you, turning your existence in a not-so-figurative life or death situation. Your closest confident is now the reason behind your pain, your anchor the very thing that’s dragging you down...

Time After Time by @softspideys

Summary: peter parker is your worst enemy, but he’s also your soulmate. life is funny that way.

Touch series by @waitimcomingtoo

Synopsis: you love him, but you can never touch him

After All by @websterss

Summary: You do crazy things for ones you love right.

(18+) Power Trip by @silkscream

Summary: you and steve settle your difference when he drives you home

Something Evil’s Lurking by @websterss

Synopsis: You’re out of time and Vecna’s about to strike, and in order to save you Steve has to sing your favorite song.

Chocolate and Cuddles by @justapurrcat

Summary: Just a soft cuddle session with your treasure-hunting boyfriend

(18+) The Memory Of Your Touch by @sparklingsin

Summary: rough sex with nathan drake in those cargo pants and white shirt.

No Place Like Home Series (Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader x Jason Todd) by @pinkchubbiebunnie

Summary: When Jason lashes out at you one day and goes a step too far, you know it’s not genuine anger, but rather, a cry for help from a broken boy. And though it’s unconventional, you have an idea of just how you can help him out.

The Titans taking care of their chronically ill Partner during a flare up by @pinkchubbiebunnie

Also includes Dawn, Dick, Hank, Kory, and Donna (I just didn’t make a separate card for them yet

Steamy by @pinkchubbiebunnie

Summary: “Maybe her idea of paradise isn’t sharing a bathroom with you, Jason.”

Ever since you and Jason have moved into Titans Tower, you have started a rivalry so potent that it’s affecting every part of your lives. The mainstay of this rivalry? The shared bathroom. On this night, your competition bleeds into something else entirely.

No Place Like Home Series (Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader x Jason Todd) by @pinkchubbiebunnie

The Titans taking care of their chronically ill Partner during a flare up by @pinkchubbiebunnie

Also includes Dawn, Dick, Hank, Kory, and Donna (I just didn’t make a separate card for them yet

The Sweater Song by @pinkchubbiebunnie

Summary: You knew he had to leave, but somehow that made it hurt even more. Even though it was the best thing for him - the best thing for both of you, it still hurt more than you could say. You lived in his sweater until he came back and just hoped your shirt would make it impossible for him to forget about you.

Based on Sweater Song by Hedley.

Waking Up After A Night Of Partying blurb by @slutobrien

Exert: You groaned loudly and moved to roll over away from the sunlight peeking through and shining across your face.

Birthday Boy by @buckybarnesandmarvel

Summary: It’s your lover’s birthday!

Say It Back by @softholand

Summary: sometimes certain words are harder for some people to say, yours just happens to be the infamous i love you

I Don’t Know Where I Stand series by @cutetomholland

Summary: it’s summer, and you’ve just moved into a new flat after a bad breakup with your now ex-boyfriend. when a celebratory trip to the nearby pub turns into an awkward meeting with your childhood best friend tom, old feelings you thought were gone gets brought back.

Who You Really Are (Shang-Chi x Reader) by @americaswritings

Summary: You find out about Shang-Chi’s true identity after he saves you in an alley.

#i'm sorry it took so long for me to do this!!#2022 fic recs #kaylee recommends

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rainbowgothdisaster · 1 year

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i didnt wanna put this in the main tag so heres the blurb i cut out (expanded a little bit) where my autism, adhd, (ESPECIALLY) maladaptive daydreaming, no job, no school, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, and isolation all combine in an unholy cocktail and make jason todd my go to coping mechanism and what gets me thru the day and this is actually concerning:

this man is mine. just like, so completely totally. hes so important to me. you dont understand how much i love him hes all ive been thinking about for the past nine months. anytime im not doing something (90% of the time) i am thinking about him. i am so mentally ill about him he is everything to me. i am so obsessed i dont want to get out of bed i just want to think about him. i have 9 works in progress where hes involved and i never finish them bcuz i cant think thru a story about him if im writing about him. by the time im half way thru a story my brain is begging for a new one. sometimes hes mean and callous and hates me. sometimes hes the nicest thing ever and defends me from even mild criticism. sometimes were by ourselves, sometimes roy is there, sometimes roy and kori are there, sometimes we have daughters (im so unhealthy about them too but that's bcuz i dont have a lot of faith in actually being able to be a parent in the future so for all intents and purposes they will be my only kids)

hes. so important to me. hes so important to me. i have cried from thinking about him too much. hes literally the only thing getting me thru my days right now i dont have anything in common with my family except some politics. all i want to do is lay in bed and think about him. if im in my room im thinking about him if im in the car im thinking about him if im walking around im thinking about him.

i keep wanting to actually read comics but i cant bcuz then i cant think about him as much as i want. i have to take attention off him to go find comics and read them. i have to put down my ipad while reading fics ABOUT HIM so i can think about him. i can be reading an x reader fic and need to stop so i can self insert even more than i already am. i have almost 68 tabs on my ipad alone dedicated to specifically nsfw fic with him, thats not counting whats open on my phone and on my laptop. i have folders on my phone dedicated to fandoms and im thinking i need specifically a jason todd one.

he is absolutely ruining my life and i an letting him. there is nothing is like more than to lock myself in my room and think about him and never leave. if abandon everything to just think about him. my hobbies that i want to do are a chore bcuz i have to give my mind a break so i have the brainpower to think about him.

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

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Masterlist

A list of my old writing that you can request I revise

Song Prompts

Meeting and Dating Headcanons~

Pretty in Pink

Andie Walsh

Duckie Dale

Blane McDonagh

Steff McKee

Sixteen Candles

Jake Ryan

The Lost Boys

Paul

Dwayne

Poly Lost Boys

Edgar Frog

The Breakfast Club

Brian Johnson

John Bender

Andrew Clark

The Outsiders

Sodapop Curtis

Dallas Winston

Two-Bit Mathews

Rumblefish

Steve Hays

Ferris Buellers Day Off

Cameron Frye

Karate Kid

Daniel Larusso

Johnny Lawrence

Dutch

Heathers

Veronica Sawyer

Jason Dean

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Jeff Spicoli

Brad Hamilton

Better Off Dead

Lane Meyer

Weird Science

Gary Wallace

Wyatt Donnelly

Dream A Little Dream

Dinger Holfield

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure

Bill S. Preston Esquire

Ted Logan

Dating Poly Bill and Ted

The Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya

Interview with the Vampire

Louis de Pointe du Lac

Children of the Corn

Malachai Boardman

National Lampoons

Rusty Griswold (European Vacation)

Cant Buy Me Love

Kenneth Wurman

The Chocolate War

Jerry Renault

Archie Costello

The Mighty Ducks

Fulton Reed

Dean Portman

Adam Banks

Les Averman

Porkys

Brian Schwartz

Anthony ‘Meat’ Tuperello

Tommy Turner

Tim Cavanaugh

Mickey Jarvis

Just One of the Guys

Terry Griffith

Greg Tolan

Dead Poets Society

Neil Perry

Todd Anderson

Charlie Dalton

Knox Overstreet

Steven Meeks

Earth Girls are Easy

Mac

Combat Academy

Perry Barnett

Waynes World

Garth Algar

Austin Powers

Toy Soldiers

Ricardo Montoya

Good Will Hunting

Chuckie Sullivan

10 Things I Hate About You

Joey Donner

My Bodyguard

Ricky Linderman

Melvin Moody

Stand and Deliver

Angel Guzman

Something Wild

Ray Sinclair

Three O’Clock High

Buddy Revell

Intruder

Randy

Young Guns

Jose Chavez y Chavez

Billy the Kid

Doc Scurlock

Dazed and Confused

Benny O’Donnell

Don Dawson

Kevin Pickford

Randall “Pink” Floyd

Fred O’Bannion

Mitch Kramer

Ron Slater

Shavonne Wright

Dogfight

Eddie Birdlace

Ladybugs

Matthew

Goosebumps

Sticks

Freddy Renfield

Twister

Robert ‘Rabbit’ Nurick

Stand by me

Ace Merrill

School Ties

Rip Van Kelt

Chris Reece

The Untouchables

Eliot Ness

The Godfather

Tom Hagen

(Young) Vito Corleone

(Old) Vito Corleone

Goodfellas

Henry Hill

Little Shop of Horrors

Seymour Krelborn

Newsies

Specs

Near Dark

Severen

Friday the 13th

Jason Voorhees

Scream

Billy Loomis

Poly Billy and Stu

Stu Macher

The Craft

Nancy Downs

Hocus Pocus

Max Dennison

Thackery Binx

Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz

Adam Maitland

The Crow

Eric Draven

Ghostbusters

Ray Stantz

Aliens

Bishop

An American Werewolf in London

Jack Goodman

Sleepaway Camp

Ricky Thomas

Re-animator

Herbert West

Silence of the Lambs

Clarice Starling

Fright Night

Jerry Dandridge

Candyman

Daniel Robitaille

The Evil Dead

Ash Williams

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Harvey Kinkle

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike

Full Metal Jacket

Sgt. Hartman

Joker

Animal Mother

Pyle

Preference~ the boys with an s/o whose ex stalks them

Grease

Kenickie

Labyrinth

Jareth

Total Recall

Douglas Quaid

Requested “Would Includes” and Imagines/Fics~

Darry falling for Johnny’s sister

Allison Reynolds dating a shy nerdy girl

Starting a family with Cameron Frye

Making out with Cameron Frye

Cameron Frye comforting you when you’re upset

Getting drunk with the Ferris Bueller crew

Gary Wallace dating a tall girl

George Mcfly with a dominant flirty s/o

Comforting and being comforted by Will Hunting

Will Hunting having a crush on you

Being apart of the good will hunting gang

Armand with a virgin s/o (including nsfw)

Lestat and Louis dating a girl who loves horror movies

Making out with Duckie Dale

Duckie Dale cheering you up

Cliff having a crush on you

Making out with Cliff

Making out with Bryce

Bryce having a crush on you

The Lost Boys with an s/o having an anxiety attack + fighting depression

The Lost Boys with a sweet and innocent s/o

The Lost Boys with a curvy mate

The Lost Boys fighting with their mates

The Lost Boys dating a shy short girl

The Lost Boys taking care of you when you’re hurt

Getting drunk with the Lost Boys would include

David x Laddies older sister

Making out with Edgar Frog

Being Married to Archie Costello

Going to the beach with Archie Costello

Making out with Archie Costello

Darrys girlfriend landing a job at a local cafe as a singer

Making out with Kenneth Wurman

Being Cindys friend and Ronalds crush

Harold Sherbico having a crush

Kim Kelly dating her polar opposite

Neil Perry dating an artist

Making out with Charlie Dalton

Jealous Charlie Dalton

Jealous Knox Overstreet

A study date with Steven Meeks

Spending the winter season with Neil Perry

Comforting Charlie Dalton after he gets expelled

The dead poets walking in on Charlie and his secret, shy girlfriend

Simon Boggs having a crush on Laneys friend

Faking It-Cindy Mancini falling for the girl who paid her to be her friend

Spike having a crush on you

Steff McKee having a crush on you

Marko having a crush on you

David having a crush on you

Paul having a crush on you

Dwayne having a crush on you

Dwayne x vampire reader who dresses like Stevie Nicks

Making out with Keith Nelson

Meat having a crush on Peewees sister

Admit it- Mickey Jarvis and his future s/o having crushes on each other

Being a part of team USA and meeting Adam and Charlie

Dwayne Robertson having a crush on you

Sleepover with Bill and Ted (including nsfw)

Being pregnant with Ted Logans child

Starring in the schools Romeo and Juliet with Ted Logan

Ted Logan asking you to be his valentine

Spending Valentines day with Steff McKee

Spending Valentines day with Steven Meeks

Spending Valentines day with Keith Nelson

Spending your first Valentines day with Bryce

Wishing I Was Her (Nick Andopolis)

If You Want Out Just Say It (Ace Merrill)

Going on the Ferris adventure

Going on your own adventure with Cameron Frye

Making out with Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd

Travelling back in time with Marty McFly

Tommy Devito dating a chubby artist

Years Gone By (Michael Corleone)

Sonny Corleone dating his opposite

Phillipe Gaston x reader~ Fairy Tale

Being Fulton's sister and Dating Dean Portman

Comforting Todd when he’s upset

Being married to Bill S. Preston Esquire

Being married to Ted Logan

Spending Halloween/October with Knox Overstreet

Making out with Knox

A will they, won’t they relationship with Seth Brundle

Falling in love with Edward Scissorhands

Dwayne Hicks with an Android!Technician s/o

Private Joker dating an artist

Jareth falling in love with you

Being married to Matt Hooper and going to Amity

The way you make me feel~ John Bender

Being in a long term relationship with JD

J.D. with a chronically ill s/o

Archie with a chronically ill s/o

Making out with Ted Logan

Archibald Craven falling in love

Andy Dufresne falling in love

Nsfw Headcanons~

Group sex with the lost boys

Sam Emerson

Threesome with Obie and Archie

Armand

Archie Costello

(sub) Archie Costello

Obie

Johnny Cade

Cameron Frye

Duckie Dale

Blane

John Bender

Randy (Intruder)

Joey Donner

Kenneth Wurman

Keith Nelson

The Dead Poets Kinks

Knox Overstreet

Charlie Dalton

Steven Meeks

Todd Anderson

Neil Perry

Gerard Pitts

John Bender taking your virginity

Louis de Pointe du Lac

Dinger Holfield

The Lost Boys

Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd

Benny O’donnell

Fred O’Bannion

Cliff

Bryce

Johnny Walker

George Mcfly

Brian Moreland

(sub) Perry Barnett

Bill S. Preston Esquire

Ted Logan

Randy Meeks

Michael Emerson

Nancy Downs

Ray Stantz

Egon Spengler

Spike

Angel Guzman

Sgt. Hartman

Brad Hamilton

Douglas Quaid

Chris (night of the creeps)

Sonny Corleone with a shy, virgin s/o

George Mcfly getting jealous and being dominant

Grease Monkey (Keith Nelson smut)

Sins of the flesh and matters of the heart (David x reader + Dwayne smut)

#80s movies #80s imagine #80s movie imagine #80s movie headcanons #80s smut #80s movie imagines #80s movie headcanon #80s movie smut #90s movies #90s imagine #90s movie headcanon #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanons #90s tv show imagine #90s tv headcanons

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cherry-glade · 3 years

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only ever pain (until you)

pairing: jason todd x reader

summary: it’s been a while since this has happened—jason’s been having a good run—but life is always out to get him, and soon enough, he's curled up into a ball of nothing but pain, aching muscle and brittle bone. luckily, like the last few times, he has you now to help him get through it.

warnings: some angst, jason being mostly touch-averse in this, jason also being quite self-deprecating, sensory overload, hurt/comfort, ptsd and hallucinations, chronic illness (fibromyalgia).

w/c: 4786 words

Jason doesn't know why it happens—maybe it's a side effect of either the Lazarus Pit, or of living in a world that he doesn’t belong in, where he should technically be dead, or perhaps it's just the trauma from the Joker's beating coming back to haunt him—but some days, it's as though all Jason is capable of feeling is pure, unadulterated pain.

He knows that it’s going to be one of those days from the minute he wakes up, wincing and turning away as the sun peeks through the window and makes his eyes sting, even though they’re still closed. He tries to roll over onto his stomach, not realising that the sheets are tangled up around his legs, and ends up falling off the bed with a dull thud, knee bashing into the floor.

Shoving the sheets away, Jason pushes himself up into a sitting position, stretching his leg out and noticing the faint redness to his skin, but he doesn’t take much note of it as he rubs at his surprisingly sore knee, preoccupied by the sudden throbbing pain in his head and behind his right eye, a sure sign of an incoming migraine.

Groaning, he stands up, damn near clinging onto the bedside table for support as he picks up his phone up and taps on the screen to check the time. It’s nearly noon, so you must already be at work. Jason usually wakes up on time though for you to kiss him goodbye, and the fact that he didn’t today is just another sign that things are probably going to end up going to shit.

Jason’s legs feel weak as he walks to the bathroom. He swears he can feel each individual fibre in the carpeting, rough against his feet. Jason pushes on and relieves himself before washing his hands and splashing cold water onto his face, nearly collapsing into a heap on the floor, but he manages to catch himself before he cracks his head open on the sink.

”You look like a piece of shit that got turned into roadkill, and are very lucky that Y/N isn’t here right now to witness this,” Jason says to his reflection in the mirror above the sink as he leans forward, noting his bloodshot eyes and the bags underneath them, skin paler than usual.

He blinks hard at the mirror and then stumbles out towards your kitchen, regretting not putting any socks on first as his bare feet come into the contact with the tiled floor, cold and leeching any remaining heat from his body. Jason fills the kettle up with water and switches it on, studying the darkening bruise on his knee as he waits for it to come to a boil.

Surprisingly enough, the bruise is already reddish in colour, almost verging on purple and tender to the touch as Jason prods at it with his fingers like a curious child, hissing at the pain radiating from it. He tries his best to ignore the dull ache as he makes himself a quick cup of jasmine tea, specially bought for him by Alfred, fingers trembling all the while.

Jason has to pick up his mug with both hands, taking a moment to let the warmth of the tea seep through his body, and then makes the mistake of taking a step back towards the bedroom. He vaguely recalls having a conversation with Tim and Damian, a while ago now, about if he would rather walk on heated coals or a trail of Legos. Remembers Damian absentmindedly mentioning that he’d already done the former as part of his training in the League of Assassins.

Remembers chiming in himself and saying that he’d done the same, then having to squirm away from Dick when he’d gotten that oddly sad look on his face as soon as Damian mentioned it—that look that said Jason was going to get a hug whether he liked it or not. Jason had barely escaped by pushing Damian into Dick’s arms instead, and Dick had apparently been appeased by that as he curled around Damian like an octopus, still giving Jason puppy eyes.

This, right now? Taking this single step? It feels infinitely worse than both options combined.

Jason grits his teeth and forces himself through walking the few paces to your shared bedroom, feeling like he’s about to collapse onto the floor the whole way. He has to take a break when he reaches the doorway, clinging to the doorframe with one hand, and tries to keep his other hand to stay as still as physically possible so it doesn’t spill, even as the handle of the mug feels bruising against his palm.

Jason takes a moment to breathe in deep, resisting the urge to claw at his own neck and chest as his pulse quickens and his heart beats harder against his ribs, as the insistent buzz under his skin grows even more insistent, like it’s trying to seek his attention over the throb of his migraine, over the ever-growing pain in his knee and his trembling hands and his dry throat and chapped lips and the keen desire to have you by his side.

Jason isn’t even exaggerating when he says it feels like it’s been years when he finally reaches the bed, practically falling down onto it. With shaky hands, he brings the mug to his mouth, breathing in the subtle sweetness through his nose before taking a sip of the tea, regretting it immediately when it feels as though molten lava is being poured down his throat, clogging it up to the point that Jason’s nose burns when he tries to force down the urge to choke.

Instead of being stupid and trying to drink any more of it, Jason decides to set the mug down on the bedside table so he can wait for it to cool down, his hand jerking when he sees something other than tea in it. Jason stares helplessly, frozen in place as liquid spills over the rim of the mug and trickles down its side, leaving a faint stain on it, the colour reminiscent of dried blood. He blinks when his eyes start to water, and the tea is its usual colour again, a rich, golden caramel.

Jason stares for a little while longer and then decides to get back into bed so he can wait, for both his tea and you. Curling up into a ball is easier said than done, especially when he can feel every single hair on his body rubbing against the sheets when he pulls them close to his chest, then yanks the covers over his head like he’s trying to smother the pain as he squeezes his eyes shut.

His last thought before unknowingly succumbing to the darkness of sleep, selfish as it might be, is that though he hates being so reliant upon you, though it makes him feel weak and not so different from a leech, asking for everything from you and giving nothing in return, he wants to hear your voice telling him that he will get through this, and that you’ll be with him every step of the way.

***

Jason awakes from his restless slumber to the sound of someone knocking on the bedroom door, even though he remembers leaving it open. He knows it’s you though, because you’re the only one who ever bothers knocking anymore, even if the door is open, in an attempt to give him the space he sometimes needs. He tries his best to focus through the pain and realises that you’re knocking in a pattern, the same pattern you established with each other a while ago to ask if he was okay.

Jason nearly bites through his lip to stop himself from crying out as he reaches an arm out from under the covers to knock on the wood of the bedside table thrice, the nauseatingly coppery taste of blood lingering on his tongue. He wants you to tell him everything is going to be okay, even though he knows it isn’t going to be that way for a while, if only to delude himself into thinking so.

“Jay? Are you having a day?” You call out softly, and the ringing in his ears doesn’t stop him from hearing you shuffle your feet. Jason ignores the sound of his teeth grinding together as he summons the energy to peek out at you, squinting at how you’re stood in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob with both feet firmly outside of the room. Somewhere deep inside him, past all the parts that scream with pain and hurt and anger, it warms him to see that you’ll still respect his boundaries.

He nods at you, regretting it when his migraine comes back with a vengeance. It feels like someone’s hammering at the inside of his head, trying to break out of it. “You okay with touching?” You whisper, finally stepping into the room.

He isn’t sure. Touching his thumb to his chin makes his skin burst into a flurry of sensation, and Jason only refrains from scratching at his face because he knows that you know he wants to do it, going by the stern look on your face. “Can try, but… not skin,” he rasps out, wincing at the way his voice sounds. It’s hoarse and raspy, like he’s been screaming for hours. He could’ve been, in his sleep.

You come closer, casually tugging a pair of gloves out of your pocket and sliding them on. Other than the fact that they’re very soft, the gloves aren’t anything special. When you first found out about the pain, it had been Jason wearing them so he wouldn’t scratch himself, but both of you quickly found out that the material was far too itchy against his sensitive skin, and now it’s you who wears them so that you can help him without accidentally touching his skin and sending him into a frenzy.

Jason watches you as you step in front of the bedside table and curl your hand around a mug that he hadn’t noticed until then. “Jasmine tea?” You ask him, and Jason holds his shaking hands out to take it, but you move it away and put the mug back down, shaking your head. “It’s gone cold. You must have made it before you went to sleep.”

“I—don’t remember,” Jason murmurs, suddenly feeling very lost. He thought you had made it for him. Your mouth twitches into a small frown as you study his face, and your hand rises like you’re about to touch him, faltering midway before falling back down to your side.

“I’m going to get you some water,” you say, waiting for Jason’s nod before leaving to do just that, and Jason knows you’re coming right back, but he somehow misses you even more now than he did when you were at work. His shoulders are tense until you return to his side with a small glass, half-full of water.

“Do you want me to hold it for you—”

“Can do it myself,” Jason interrupts you, insistent on doing at least this without having to be so dependent on you. But once the glass is in his hands, water keeps sloshing over the sides, his teeth clacking into it because of how much his hands are shaking. Your gloved hands come up to support his, holding the glass steady, and he does his best to shoot you a thankful look as he takes a careful sip. He’s sure it’s lukewarm, but it feels like shards of ice scraping against his throat, almost making Jason choke.

Once the glass is empty, you set it down with a clink and crouch down next to the bed, facing him. “Have you eaten?” You ask, and Jason just about manages to shake his head, feeling sick. Your frown deepens momentarily before smoothing out entirely as you stand up again, taking a few steps back so that you’re not looming over him.

His skin is itchy. He feels dirty. Jason doesn’t realise that he’s scratching until you say his name sternly, startling him when you place a gentle hand on top of his. Your eyes scan over his face, and you must see something on it because you straighten up, a somewhat determined look in your eyes as you slowly peel the covers off him, baring Jason’s body to the cold darkness of the bedroom.

“Bath time,” you tell him, a small smile on your face. Jason shivers violently.

“Dirty? Am I dirty?” He asks, vaguely aware of the fact that he’s slurring his words, focussing more on how hot his face feels. Your smile wavers and it feels like his blood is boiling inside him as you shake your head, muttering something to yourself about him getting worse.

“But—”

Jason looks down at his hands, which only shake even more when he sees crimson pooling in the crooks between his fingers, staining his cuticles red and drying into the lines of his cracked palms. Red drips from his fingertips, staining the sheets beneath him. He doesn’t want to touch you, to dirty you with his red hands.

“They’re dirty,” Jason says, showing you his hands, and you shake your head again.

“You’re not dirty,” you say out loud this time, looking Jason in the eye. “You’re having a bath because it’ll help with the pain,” you explain to him like he’s a child, but Jason can’t find it in himself to get annoyed. He shivers again, but this time it’s because of the sudden cold he feels, because of the goosebumps rising along the surface of his bare arms as the buzz under his skin roars for his attention.

“I’m not?” Jason asks, still hesitant, and you repeat yourself as your eyes flicker over his face, telling him that he isn’t dirty.

“Come on,” you gently coax him until Jason eventually pulls himself out of the safety of the bed, a whimper escaping from between his clenched teeth when his feet touch the floor and pain shoots through his body. Your eyes are glued to him, concern clearly written all over your face as Jason battles his way to the bathroom and then starts to undress as you fill the bathtub, resisting the urge to scratch as the fabric of his clothes drags uncomfortably over his skin.

He studies his trembling hands as you pour some odd-looking powder into the water, dipping your hand in and swirling it all together until you’re left with a slimy mixture. You turn to him with an expectant look on your face like you’re waiting for him to do something, and then it clicks, and Jason’s nose wrinkles as he presses his lips together in a thin line.

“Sweetheart, you need to actually get in for it to have any effect,” you remind him, a teasing undertone to your voice. Jason pulls a face and steps up to the tub, wincing as the muscles in his legs sprain when he tries to swing his leg over the edge to do as he’s been told. But you come up next to him, holding one of his hands as lightly as you can to support him as he manages to climb into the tub, slowly sinking down until he’s sat down and almost fully submerged.

For a moment, it’s almost too overwhelming for him, and then the continuous sensations of hot and cold and pain and numbness, of all too much and nowhere near enough, they all slowly ease. Jason sinks a little lower into the water, hands shooting out of the water to grip onto the sides of the bathtub so he can ground himself as he closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall, slowly breathing out through his nose.

Jason isn’t sure if he��s relieved or terrified by how easy it was to get his body to just shut up, but doesn’t ponder on it, revelling instead at how he can now simply feel without hurting so much.

He must zone out for quite some time though because he ends up tuning back in to the sound of your voice, smooth and familiar as you tell him about your day at work. You aren’t holding his hand anymore, but are still sat on the rug next to the bathtub, watching him with sharp eyes.

Once again, Jason is reminded of the fact that you’re too good for him, too good for someone with blood on his hands and vengeance on his mind, for someone who is capable of feeling nothing but anger in his heart. Once again, he wonders why you choose to stay, why you keep choosing him even though everyone else in his life does the opposite.

There’s an odd look on your face when Jason turns to look at you. You don’t say anything, not pushing him, but wait for him to speak in his own time. He’s fiercely reminded of how much he loves you and swallows down the lump in his throat which threatens to choke him.

“They’re red,” he finally croaks out, and his tongue feels too big for his mouth. “My hands are red, and they’re always gonna be red with people’s fucking blood, because that’s all I’m good at. That’s all I can do.”

“Jay—” you start, frowning, but he cuts you off with a shake of his head which makes him feel like he’s about to throw up.

His bloody hands shake. “I’m never going to be clean,” Jason whispers, but even that is too loud for his overly sensitive ears. “When people look at Red Hood, at me, that’s all they are ever going to see. Blood on my hands.”

“Jason, baby,” you murmur, and Jason doesn’t think he’s ever heard your voice so soft before. He turns his head to look down when your gloved fingers graze the tips of his, even though it makes him feel like his brain is pounding violently against the inside of his skull.

You’re asking if you can hold his hand, and Jason takes in a deep breath as he slowly uncurls his fingers from the death grip they previously had around the edge of the bathtub, then flips his hand over so his palm is facing upwards.

You don’t cover it with your own like he’s expecting, but manage to slide yours underneath Jason’s so that you’re cradling his hand. He has to fight hard against the instinct to snatch it back.

“You wanna know what I see?” You ask as your eyes fall to his hand, but it isn’t really a question, and if it is, it’s clearly rhetorical. Your gloved fingertip traces over the lines in his palm, and it doesn’t hurt as much as Jason had thought it would. Instead of thousands of tiny needles piercing through the surface of his skin, it just feels like sharp little pinpricks of sensation.

He looks up at you, and you look right back at him with soft eyes and a softer smile. Jason’s pretty sure his heart skips a beat in the same way it always does when you smile at him. “I see strength, and I see kindness, and I see good.”

Your eyes lower to look at his hand again. “I see scars and callouses and bruised knuckles, and fingers that haven’t healed right after being broken. I see the hands of a man who has worked hard every single day of his life, who doesn’t stop working even though it hurts sometimes, because he’s just like that.”

Your eyes meet, and Jason has to take in deep breaths after seeing the fierce look in your eyes, even though his chest is painfully tight. “I see hands that disarm bombs and shoot guns and break assholes’ noses. Hands that help and protect and love, so, so much.”

Jason exhales shakily through his nose, eyes stinging. He doesn’t deserve this, he knows that. He’s known that he doesn’t deserve you since the moment he met you, since the first time he dared to utter your name with his unworthy tongue, to touch you with his undeserving hands.

But you make him sound like this wonderful person, somebody who actually deserves to have you and love you, and Jason doesn’t know how you can see him like that. He’s killed and tortured and hurt people, both physically and emotionally, he’s not good at all, but he couldn’t bear to lose you if you ever came to the realisation that you’ve been wrong about him all along.

Loving you is the best thing he’s ever done, the greatest choice he’s ever made, and the closest he can get to being good is being good to you. If that’s taken away from him, he’s doomed to an eternity of making the wrong choices.

“When I look at you, I see someone who is brave and gentle and strong. So strong,” you emphasise with the gentlest squeeze to his hand, almost like you think if you put too much pressure on it, his bones will cave in and shatter beneath your touch into dozens of tiny pieces, just like Jason’s heart does whenever you say things like this to him, like you actually mean it.

“I see a man who has been hurt by the world around him so many times, but he’s come out fighting every time.” Jason flinches at that, turning away so he can watch the condensation slowly forming on the tap, a single water droplet threatening to spill from it.

“Jay,” you whisper shakily, and he can hear the swell of emotion in your voice. But Jason knows that you’re not asking him to turn back and face you again, though he feels like he should so he can lean in and kiss any revealing traces of wetness off your face, even if it makes his lips feel like they’re being seared right off his face as he touches them to your soft skin.

“I wish you could see what I do when I look at you,” you admit, eyes no longer burning into the side of his face as you steady your voice again, sounding like you’re determined to prove it to him, that he’s worthy of your love and time.

“You deserve every good thing in this cursed world that we live in, and I wish I could give you that, but I can’t,” you say, voice cracking halfway through your sentence, and you sound truly heartbroken about it, about the fact that—that Jason deserves more, and he’s not getting it.

The water droplet leaks from the tap and lands on the bottom of the tub with a faint splat. Jason doesn’t hear it because he’s too busy staring at your glossy eyes, tears threatening to spill over the delicate tips of your eyelashes and down your face.

You blink and a tear runs down your cheek, just one, leaving a faint streak on your face as you breathe in deeply through your nose, trying to pull yourself together before you speak again. “All I can give you is my love and my time, and hope that that’s enough for you.”

You look back down at his hand cradled in yours again and there’s a faint smile on your face, like you know something he doesn’t. “These hands which you think are red? The same hands which you think will only ever ruin everything they touch? They’ve never hurt me.”

“These hands right here?” You say, shaking his ever so slightly, but not so much that it hurts. “They hold me when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I’m angry and when I need to feel safe.” Your eyes meet his again, bright with warmth and determination. “My heart is in these hands, Jason, and you’ve never done it wrong. Ever.” Jason briefly considers arguing with you but he really doesn’t have the energy to—this bath is making him strangely sleepy.

But you must see the intent in his eyes because you shake your head and continue, just as stubborn as he is. That isn’t a bad thing, not at all. It’s why you work so well together.

“When I got into a relationship with you, I trusted you to take care of my heart, and that’s exactly what you’ve done,” you explain. “So all I’m asking is that you trust me to take care of you, because I know you deserve it, whether you agree with me or not.”

Jason stares at you and you stare right back, your smile growing ever wider as Jason’s eyes dart away and his cheeks warm slightly. He loves you so much.

“I think you ought to know,” Jason starts, meeting your eyes as water trails slowly down the back of his neck, making him want to claw at his skin, to press his nails into it and drag them along the surface until it’s raw and itchy and as red as his bleeding heart. “If it weren’t for the fact that the thought of touching someone’s skin makes me want to peel the fucking flesh right off my bones, I’d be kissing the shit out of you right now.”

Your wet eyes go soft again, as does your trembling smile. “I appreciate the sentiment,” you laugh, undeniably fond, and even after all this time, it makes Jason want to squirm a little. He refrains, but just barely.

You stare at each other for a little while longer until you speak up again, asking if you can wash his hair. It’s not that he needs to have his hair washed, but he enjoys the feeling of your fingers in his hair, adores the sound of your voice as you tell him a story or sing to him to replace the silence or distract him from the thoughts racing around his mind.

So naturally, he agrees, and soon enough, he’s facing the wall with you balanced on the edge of the bathtub, warning him before you scoop up a handful of clean water and pour it over his hair. You start to hum a simple song, briefly pausing to tell that you’re going to shampoo his hair before continuing.

He tenses up, trying to prepare himself for the feeling of being overstimulated when your hands land in his hair, but warmth tingles through him instead in the same way that it does whenever you touch him with no plans other than to love him, and really, Jason was a fool to expect anything else, seeing as you’ve only ever touched him with the best intentions in mind.

“I love you,” Jason murmurs quietly, and you don’t tease him by telling him you know that like you sometimes do. Like Jason himself did when he finally became comfortable with the fact that he loves you and you love him too.

In fact, you don’t say anything at all, still humming that same song as you gently massage your fingers through his thick hair, paying particular attention to his white streak. It occurs to Jason that maybe you didn’t hear him.

Or maybe you just somehow know like you always do that this was something he needed to say, that it was something he needed to learn for himself without finding out that you knew how he felt before he did, something that he needed to come to terms with so he could finally put a name to the way you make his heart try to punch out of his rib cage and right into your hands whenever you smile at him or say his name or praise him, or kiss his tears away and take him into your arms after he’s had a nightmare without a word of complaint.

“I love you,” he repeats anyway, hoping for you to understand, and you try your best, leaning in to press your mouth to the wet skin on the back of his neck, mouthing words against it that Jason can’t quite make out, but he’s pretty sure he can have a good guess. It makes him shiver again, but in a good way this time.

“I love you,” he says a third time, and now you get it. Now you hear what he’s really saying.

I love you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always choosing me. Thank you for helping me through this.

Your mouth curls into a smile against his skin. “I love you too, Jason,” you whisper, voice tender. And Jason hears what you’re saying too.

I love you. Thank you for letting me.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #dc #sfw #my fic

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