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#jaskier is a thot and i love it
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the evil forces r at play again </3 (put on the n*tflix toss a coin to yr witcher song by my own free will)
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flowercrown-bard · 10 months
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Sea may rise/Sky may fall - Chapter 1/13 is finally up on AO3 :D
summary:
“What happens if I don’t kiss him?” His hands twisted together, before they became eerily still. A part of him already knew the answer, but he still needed to hear it out loud. “You die,” the siren said simply, no preamble, no way of softening the blow. “You die and this time there will be no saving you.” She turned away, but Jaskier could see the tears glistening in her eyes. “Can you promise me that that won’t happen?” she pleaded. “Can you promise me that your witcher loves you enough to save your life?” Jaskier didn’t reply. His lips twisted into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “When can I meet that sorceress of yours?”
OR: During a disastrous siren-hunt, Geralt watches Jaskier drown. What he doesn't know is that Jasker didn't fully die but transformed into a siren instead. After a year of loneliness, guilt and longing, Jaskier makes a deal with a mage to regain his human shape. But as we all know, the chance to spend a little more time with Geralt again, comes at a deadly cost...
tag list (please tell me if you would like to be added or removed from this. No hard feelings if you’re not interested in this fic. this is jsut the only tag list from one of my other fics): @spookylostboy @justablobfish @karolincki  @flosimo @rebrandedbard @hollowxo @silvertonguelover @inanoldhousewrites @yaskefer @emotional-support-fandom @fandoms-princess @kore888 @fen-thenobling @geraskier-thots @strippiluolamies @sharinalein @slumberingcorpse @elle-ja-bell @bellathecatastrophe @hockles @fangirlwithoutinspiration @ban-aard @mothmanismyuncle @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao @longdeadtemple @ cristianoreblogo
also, look @dhwty-writes it’s finally happening lmao
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twyllodrus · 10 months
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witcher s3 vol 2 thots
just full on spoilers down below
soo, just to pre-face i rlly liked these 3 episodes
there were some moments that made me especially crazy i.e.
not the resident malewife getting turned into elven soup 😭 fil bb yer still aen seidhe kingshit to me 🥲
fringilla & cahir both having realized emhyr's bs and trying to do good by the others :')) thats nice
stregobor kinda going out w/ a bit of redemption?? :// also that man was way too obsessed with falka
speaking of falka 😍 call me (also so incheresting she cut her own ears into points........ many thoughts)
ciri singing in the desert the song that jask sang to her before :'))))
WHERE IS ISTREDD I SWEAR IF SMTH HAPPENS TO THAT NERD—
fringilla telling francesca who actually was responsible for the infanticide HAD ME EATING MY OWN HAIR anyhways all their scenes are just 👌
LISTEN 👏 LISTENN 👏 JASKIER SINGING IN ELDER TO DRYADS WAS LITERALLY MY FAVE PART OF THE NOVELS im so normal about art driving ppl to tears 😌
milva 🥰
the moment radovid told his brother that he's leaving court i knew we are getting some good regicide coming up next 🥲
love how loyal sigismund is to philippa - the moment vizimir hinted at her being punished for thanedd, the man immediately started bracing himself to die in her stead. malewife material huh
tissaia (((((((((((((((((((((((( i was almost so certain they wouldnt go that route, but when the narration started, i realized she was writing that letter and 🥺🥺🥺
the last line of the season being 'call me falka' GJDYSHDHFH i actually had it on my bingo card that thats how the season will end AND THEN IT DID that's the gift of prophecy & rereding time of contempt for you 🌚👍
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I was daydreaming about the Witcher while reading a fic and in the fic there's a line where Jaskier wishes he could go back in time to stop himself singing about certain things, and it translated into an angsty thot in my head.
A Jaskier ripe in anger and sadness and grief after the mountain and in the midst of the Sandpiper, who by circumstance misses a reunion with Geralt. Who gets sent back in time for an entirely different purpose, but lo behold stumbles upon the himself that is, lets say, circa Cintra or just before.
Past!Jaskier who's already so in love with Geralt, faced with this future where he's broken. Alone. Discarded. Where he can't really change anything because it might change the good he's doing in the Then.
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You're so right but it hurts.
(my fix-it fic brain is going immediately towards past!jaskier following an unintentional hint from future!jaskier to safe ciri from the sacking of cintra and to travel with her to a good location, possibly kear morhen. Just, jaskier deciding once again to do something. Anything! Just to make the world a little better somehow. Maybe that would've made the happenings in s2 a lot better. I have ideas now....)
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kayforpay · 1 month
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Jaskier/Dijkstra thots?
I feel like jaskier in terms of show-only it would work a lot better than game or book dandy and dijkstra tbh since in the books dandy Fucking Hates dijkstra lol
that said overall I love the vibes, esp if it's like. I'll seduce the idiot bard who fucks the countess when her husband isn't home and he can tell me secrets. and then jaskier simply doesn't know anything important. it's all "you know the count fucks his stablemaster" and "the countess is interested in bear shows but I find it barbaric"
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lostcol · 2 years
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No thots head empty: you have to date someone from the Witcher. Who and why?
Oh god oh god oh god. Knee jerk response is Jaskier. I need someone kinda chatty because I'm usually not, and I feel like I wouldn't feel like an idiot if I acted like an idiot in front of him. You know? I want to 😏😏 and snuggle with Geralt's massive body but he’s probably too quiet, and Yennefer's a little intense for me, as much as I love her. Don't think I know anyone else well enough to say how we'd get along....
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jaskierek · 4 years
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proposition: jaskier’s not immortal because of any fae blood or anything, he’s immortal because he’s fucked enough deities for them to agree that they want him to stick around for as long as possible. 
at some point someone yells “melitele’s tits!” and jaskier responds distractedly with “they’re quite lovely actually” and geralt goes “how would you know” while jaskier just winks back at him and the witcher’s just like “what does that mean??”
or someone asks him who his best fuck was and he goes “definitely loki, fell into bed with him a few centuries back and then i ran into her again a few years ago.” and geralt is just like whomst??? a few centuries???
that’s also why he rarely gets injured on their dangerous adventures. he’ll get thrown into the water or something while geralt’s fighting off some sirens and the tide just pulls him back to shore and geralt’s like “what the fuck??” and jaskier goes “so i may or may not have had several wonderful nights with the goddess lilvani” and geralt’s just like “you know what? fine, whatever”
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exitpursuedbyasloth · 2 years
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Geralt, angry about his Child Surprise: “This is all because of Jaskier. I better scream at him about how much I want him gone, and leave that thot on top of a mountain in his stupid little thot boots, and not see him again unless I need a favor.”
Geralt, happy about his Child Surprise: “This is all because of Yennefer. Even if she tries to sacrifice my daughter for her own power, we’re still family and need to be together.”
Jaskier: “...Bitch, what the fuck?!”
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perseruna · 4 years
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~jask, you’re drunk.
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feketeribizli · 4 years
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colored an old jaskier doodle :-))
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writterings · 4 years
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ok FINALLY finished the witcher
#its hard for me to watch shows with episodes longer than 20 minutes#quick rant: yennefer is the most interesting character. and i like how a theme of the show is that like. everyone is bound by destiny but#ultimately it is their choices that effect their overall quality of life???#like i noticed it particularly with geralt's scene with jaskier on the mountain when he was blaming jaskier for all the shit that went wrong#in his life at that point and i was like#'hmm....no??? no those were definitely choices you made and said yes to several times'#same with yennefer and the whole thing about how shes still unhappy with her life because she was trying so hard to be powerful#like she had a goal in mind and that was her destiny#but she gave everything up for it#and it made her unhappy#kinda :/ about how they made her so driven to want a baby after she had her uterus removed. like i was hoping it would be a situation where#like one of the defining traits of the infertile female character is that she is infertile#but eh i feel like i can forgive it a bit because she got mad/jealous of geralt for 'having a child' through the law of surprise#showing how she saw adoption as a viable option too#i guess she didnt like adoption tho bc like she would only be able to adopt an older kid (like babies were prob left out to die if they were#abandoned) and she prob didn't want to bring an older kid into this type of thing#idk i have a lot of Thots and also i would love a fic were jask and yen become friends after their scene with geralt on the mountain#and they just. team up against him until he apologies#also ok quick nitpit: i feel like the show focuses too much on renfri. i get it. geralt supposedly was in love with her. but like.#he knew her for like two days and then she tried to kill him. and he had to kill her. ah yes. romance.#hate how the show undervalues jaskier tho too#like i feel as though he wasn't as intersting as he could have been since they were focusing too much  on like geralt's angst#like yeah geralt's a main character but this show was written to follow multiple narratives#and even side characters to the protagonists' narratives show up again and are shown to be very important to the protags (i.e. tissia to yen#and mousesack to ciri)#so like?? i wish jaskier was shown being more important to geralt#speaking of which i want the same thing for dara and ciri#damn...maybe this is supposed to be a parallel? who knows. jask and dara will show again im sure (esp jask) or else that would be really bad#writing but then like!! idk i liked the witcher but ultimately i feel like it does have some narrative issues that kinda broke immersion for#me
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rebrandedbard · 3 years
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I was thinking about Witcher crack thoughts, and now I must share with you the Crack Thot firmly lodged in my brain:
It's not illogical to assume Jaskier has a small army of illegitimate children, right? I mean, this man has shagged his way from one end of the Continent to the other. And now, people can be hard to track down in a world where communication can take years/months to reach its destination, right?
But people talk and gossip spreads and nothing gets townsfolk talking like the White Wolf. So his whereabouts can generally be narrowed down to weeks/days.
And everyone knows where there's a Wolf, there's a Songbird.
So when Jaskier's amassed collection of estranged children decide to track him down, they know their best bet is to find Geralt. At least if Jaskier isn't with the Witcher at the time, Geralt is the one most likely to know where he is/headed.
And one day Geralt is at an inn eating or outside tacking Roach when he looks up and there's just this sea of children in varying shapes, sizes and ages staring at him like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️🧍🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍
Which then means Geralt finds himself travelling with a hoard of Jaskier's offspring like some unwilling pied piper, the gossip mill churning about the Witcher who walks the Continent with a swarm of children trailing after him like imprinted ducklings.
And nothing he does can scare them off. He growls. He grumps. He makes up creative threats until he's blue in the face but these kids all inherited their fathers blissful lack of fucks to give and not a damn thing will dissuade them.
Of course when Geralt does eventually catch up with Jaskier he's like
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And Jaskier is just like
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I'm in love with you. Tell me MORE.
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jaskierswolf · 2 years
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Another question for you- i love seeing ADHD Jaskier he is the best, and I have seen many glorious autistic Geralt fics too. What do you reckon to an ADHD Geralt though, maybe? I get those vibes, sometimes, when he talks to himself or Roach in the books.
What about if they both have ADHD?
ADHD Jaskier my beloved. I'll admit I also tend to write Geralt as more autistic without even realising most of the time... but... I had a thought at 2am last night so I'm gonna thot it out now. So have some Geralt and Jaskier being friends as kids.
_
Geralt had never understood why his mother had sent him away. He knew that he'd talked too much about his dreams of being a knight, a hero, and he was always running around the house with a bucket on his head and a sword in his hand, but that was just what little boys did... right? Yes, he'd sulked when his mother had asked him to sit still or work on chores that he found so unbelievably boring, and half the time he'd sit there staring into space for hours until the very last minute, rushing the chore before he could get yelled at again... but at least he'd done it.
It wasn't as if he meant to be lazy, it was just that sometimes he just couldn't do it. No amount of will power would help if he just wasn't interested, but despite everything, Visenna had always said she'd loved him just as he was, her little knight.
Until the day she'd sent him away to Lettenhove, insisting that she was saving his life.
The rejection had been almost too much to handle, sending him into a spiralling depression for days, weeks, months... he wasn't quite sure. The only saving grace was that his chores were no longer dishes and cleaning. Instead, he now looked after the horses at the Lettenhove Castle. The beasts were graceful, magnificent creatures, a true noble steed, worthy of a knight, and slowly, day by day, Geralt found himself opening up to the horses, talking about his day, his dreams, his mother... anything and everything.
His boss taught him all he could ever want to know about the horses, even throwing in some lessons once they were done with their work, and Geralt absorbed it all like a sponge. His fixation on becoming knight faded, becoming more interested in the garden around Lettenhove, and then the kitchens, the seamstress's work... but his love of horses never went away.
The only thing he loved more than the horses was the heir to the Estate, young Julian Pankratz. The boy was even more of a whirlwind than Geralt, but he was the only person in the castle that seemed to be able to keep up with him. If Geralt's thought process jumped six steps, Julian, or Jaskier as he'd started calling himself after a fixation on the language of flowers, was right there with him. Jaskier didn't care if Geralt spent hours talking about Roach, his favourite mare, even going so far as to ask questions. In return, Geralt listened to Jaskier talk about whatever book, song, artist he was currently obsessed with, and the pair of them were thick as thieves.
The rejection from Visenna still stung everyday, but over the years, with Jaskier by his side, the stabbing pain became a dull ache, and when a greyed haired witcher turned up at Lettenhove Castle, looking like the knights Geralt had dreamed of as a younger boy, swords strapped to his back as he rode a beautiful mare, Geralt's life was turned upside down once more...
The Law of Surprise had caught up with him, but at least Jaskier now stood by his side as the two boys were taken to a crumbling old keep lost to time in the depths of the Blue Mountains.
_
Taglist: @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde, @comfyswitcherblanketfort, @fontegagrilledcheese, @dani-dandelino, @dapandapod @damnbert @officerjennie @feraljaskier @geralt-of-riviass @kueble @gilberik @llamasdumpsterfire @wherethewordsare @trickstermoose67 @alllthequeenshorses @skai6 @karolincki
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geralt and eskel trying to out-beef each other like the true himbo thots they are?? 🥺🥺
oh hellllllll fuckin yes. okay. full himbo jock brain activated: 
It starts out by Geralt doing physical therapy for a back injury
he gets the yummy ropey back muscles that make my brain go hhhnngggg and Eskel is annoyed because he used to be the hot one
Eskel starts going to the gym with him and suggests whoever has the driest shirt at the end of the day has to buy the protein smoothies on their way out
Geralt is nothing if not competitive and adds in extra treadmill time at the end of his routine - he never loses- our boi is sweaty
Eskel is big on arms - they’re massive and he lifts lambert up by his scruff to show off in bars now
Geralt is big on glutes and legs - yes bc he wants to have a delicious ass, but also bc lower back stability is greatly improved by glute and leg workouts 
 he has Jaskier climb on his back and does squats - Jask blue screens for a whole day
Geralt has fucking b e a u t i f u l calves. like hhhhnnnnnggggggg
Eskel has those quads of fuckin steel
They have a competition for heaviest chest press
someone makes a comment about Geralt’s magnificent tits and Geralt leans into it. He does tits and glutes together and our boi gets shapely
They have a bulking phase and Geralt gets a little shy over his added layer of floof.
Eskel gets hit on SO much more when he goes out defs doesn't have a threesome with a succubus and terrifyingly sexy woman he meets in a bar and he drags Geralt out of the house kicking and screaming to show him the wonders of the soft buff bod
They both get laid
Geralt is too much of a himbo to take advantage of this but Eskel is the devious oldest child and he takes off at a full sprint
dude gets dicked down at least weekly and pretty much can get laid whenever he wants
Geralt says Eskel owes him a huge favor because his back injury was what started this
Eskel’s response is to turn to Jaskier and tell him the himbo is in love with him - it evens out nicely
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officerjennie · 3 years
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press me down, hold me together
Summary: Eskel pushes Jaskier down onto the bed and rides him senseless
CW: Soft tummies (if you squint), smut, intercourse, AOB, knotting, daddy kink, praise kink, D/s elements, omega!Eskel, alpha!Jaskier, dom!Eskel (kinda - he takes charge?), 'pet' used as an endearment
WC: 1k+
Taglist: at the very bottom, let me know if you want on it!
Special thanks to the bog for encouraging me to thot this out. I love y'all so much, I just. I can't express it properly, take all of my love.
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Jaskier's pupils blew wide as he was pressed back into the bed. His scramble to get his clothes off just a minute before had been just that, a scramble. Desperate to follow the low growl that had demanded he strip, whining when Eskel had stopped kissing him breathless to nip his lower lip.
It wasn't like this was his first time. How many omegas had Jaskier laid down in some random sheets and fucked until the sun came up? How many alpha had he done the same with? Countless, too many, so many faces and names swirling in his head that were promptly drowned out when Eskel climbed on top of him and straddled his hips.
Immediately, Jaskier's fingers were on his thighs. Digging into the soft flesh there while Eskel watched him with a cocked head and hazy, lust-filled eyes.
If it was Jaskier's fate to be trapped between those thighs, oh what a prison they would make.
A warm chuckle drew his gaze up, though he took his time looking. Thick cock already swelled and heavy, begging to be sucked. A big stomach that he could and would bite every single inch of, it needed to be marked, needed to be sucked and licked - Jaskier whined, forcing his eyes up, already feeling weak even before he saw the smirk that twisted Eskel's lips up.
"Like what you see?" his omega purred, reaching out to tilt Jaskier's chin up, pressing his thumb onto his lower lip. Jaskier licked it, lost in the darkening gold of Eskel's eyes. "Going to be good for me, aren't you? Been thinking of riding your cock since last night."
And how was Jaskier supposed to respond to that? Whatever noise came out of his throat then couldn't have been a word, didn't resemble one at the very least, but it was cut off all the same when Eskel pressed his thumb into his mouth. Pressed down on his tongue and purred out for him to suck.
Jaskier did.
Eskel rocked his hips when Jaskier listened, grinding down on Jaskier's cock. "Wouldn't normally skip to the main event but I need your knot." The last few words were a growl that made Jaskier's cock twitch helplessly, and Eskel leaned down over him, his grip on his chin tightening. "Ready for me? 'm going to milk your cock for all its got."
Never in his life had Jaskier been so eager to say yes, yes he was ready, nodding his head before Eskel had even finished his sentence.
With a gentle caress to his lip, Eskel removed his hand from his chin. He ran the back of his fingers against Jaskier's cheek, letting the alpha nuzzle into the soft affection.
"You going to be good for me?" It was an actual question this time. Jaskier's eyes fluttered, his hands still on Eskel's thighs, fingers kneading into them and feeling the strong muscle underneath the thick layer of soft.
"Yes," he breathed, all other words lost to him.
"That's a good boy," Eskel purred, sitting back upright, slipping a hand behind him to grip Jaskier's cock. When Jaskier gasped, Eskel traced his finger down his face, down his throat, his chest, until it was pressed open there. He steadied himself, rubbing the tip of Jaskier's cock against his slick hole, his own eyes shutting tight for a brief moment before they snapped back open to pin Jaskier down with a single look.
"Now, call me daddy." He took Jaskier's cock into his tight heat without any hesitation, and Jaskier keened, head pressed back into the pillow and fingers like claws in Eskel's skin.
There was no time to adjust. No time to get used to it, the searing heat that enveloped him, the wet hole that threatened to drive out every sane thought that tried to stick in his mind. Eskel didn't give him time, just threw his head back and moaned, and then used those strong thighs and legs to ride him.
He was trapped. Stuck between the most beautiful set of thighs he'd ever had his hands on, cock already leaking while Eskel took his pleasure from it.
"F-fuck," Jaskier whined, not even able to fuck up into him, no matter how desperately he wanted to. All he could do was lay there and watch, and lose himself. "Fuck, I- d-daddy."
"That's right." Eskel rolled his head, staring down at Jaskier with half-lidded eyes, his lip curled up in another devastating smirk. "Say it again."
"Daddy."
They'd only just started, but Jaskier could already feel his knot swelling. Eskel dropped down on his cock and ground down on it, clenching and making Jaskier babble out for him.
"Going to take your knot," Eskel said, running his fingers over Jaskier's chest, tracing odd patterns onto his skin. "Then I'll take it again. And again." He cocked his head, rocking his hips again, this time slow enough for it to be torture.
Jaskier had to cling to him, feeling the drag of his tight hole on his cock, tugging at his swelling knot. He was panting, hardly able to form words - but he managed to beg anyway. "Daddy- daddy please, I- I want to touch you, please, Daddy, can I?"
With a small purse of his lips, Eskel shook his head, and Jaskier sobbed through his desperate pleas. "No, not yet." Eskel soothed his hand over Jaskier's chest to quiet his begging, his pace picking up, riding Jaskier's cock faster. "Not yet, pet, you can touch later. I won't be done with you for a while."
His hand went back to Jaskier's face, and Jaskier immediately opened his mouth, making Eskel chuckle as he pressed his thumb back in. He didn't have to tell him to suck this time.
"Being so good for me," he praised, Jaskier's eyes rolling back - at the pace, Eskel's words, his tone, the thumb pressing his tongue down once more. "Keep being this good for me, love, and I'll fuck you once I'm done with your knot."
That was all Jaskier could take. His orgasm hit him without mercy, fingers digging into Eskel's thighs, a high whine torn out of him as he knotted Eskel. He heard Eskel growl but the sound was lost to the pleasure that drowned out the world. All he knew for a time was the pressure on his knot, the hand holding his chin, and the weight pressing him down into the mattress.
When Jaskier could finally open his eyes again, they were misted and wet. They were still tied together, Eskel leaning over him, barely a breath away, lips almost touching his own hand that still held Jaskier's chin. Still held him together.
"Good boy." His voice was breathy, dripping with his own pleasure, and Jaskier found he would do anything to hear him say that again in that tone. Eskel shifted, testing his knot, finding it just loose enough that he could have slipped off of him if he wanted.
He didn't.
"Jaskier," he purred, brushing their noses together briefly. "Ready to keep being good for Daddy?"
And for the second time that night, Jaskier nodded eagerly, ready to do whatever his daddy told him to.
-
@fontegagrilledcheese @unyielding-as-the-sea @mothmanismyuncle @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @jaskierswolf
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oldandkinky · 2 years
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query: your thots on murder husbands? not like, Hannibal specifically since this isn't a Hannibal blog, but just in general.
Adore it!
I love Hannibal to this day, still haven't given up hope for a S4. It was one of the first fandom I wrote slash for, actually.
The concept can work so well with Geraskier, too, I think. I read a wonderful fic a while ago where Geralt was a serial killer who abducted Jaskier and then Jaskier turned, but I can't find it any more, sadly. There's also "this darkness we share" which I adore.
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