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milesdickpic · 6 months

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Thanksgiving at the Bradshaws | H.C

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Happy Thanksgiving, Besties! For those who celebrate, be safe and i hope you have a great day! Whether you celebrate it or not, I just want to let you all know that I am BEYOND grateful for each and everyone of you. Thank you for being here with me 🥰 I love you all so much! ❤️ Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

*Can be read in conjunction with the HLG series! 🦃

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You and Bradley planned a low-key Thanksgiving for the family. It was going to be a laid back and cozy night.

All the kids were asleep while all the adults started to make dinner. It was going to be an early night since everyone had to work early the next morning.

Austin made his famous stuffing. He had brought it the year prior and it had to be the best stuffing you and Bradley had ever had in your lives.

Phoenix made a a potato casserole along with some green beans.

Hangman worked on the turkey, making sure it was pure perfection. (Like himself)

You made mashed potatoes, gravy, and Mac and cheese.

Bradley started to set up the table. He put out the best cutlery you and him had in the house, as well as the best looking plates. The ones that weren’t stained nor microwaved burned from the men of the house.

Bradley wrote name tags for everyone and set each of them on a plate at the table. He grabbed a jar and labeled it “What I am Grateful For.” And placed it in the middle of the table.

“Thanksgiving dinner for brunch is the best idea we’ve ever came up with.” Hangman laughed as he was basting the turkey with broth and butter. “This baby is almost ready!”

Bradley laughed and smiled. “I am so ready to eat. I missed dinner last night so I could be an endless pit today.”

Phoenix scoffed as she finished laying out her dishes she repaired. “You’re always and endless pit, Bradshaw. You and your kids!” She slapped his shoulder as she set the dishes onto the table.

You came over and looked at the table. Bradley had set out some little pumpkins left over from Halloween. He lit a couple of candles, he set put the nice silverware and plates. He put out 2 variances of wine glasses. (Plastic ones for the kiddos) Each plate had everyone’s name on it. It was so cute and simple.

You kissed his cheek. “Thank you for setting the table, Brad.” You placed the Gravy onto the table as Bradley went to grab the mashed potatoes and Mac and cheese.

As everyone started to lay their dishes onto the table, you and Bradley went upstairs to get the kiddies ready. Everyone decided that Thanksgiving themed pajamas were the move.

The boys wore matching turkey onesies, Leia wore a “bring on the leftovers” pajama, Bradley wore a pajama that was full of turkeys, you wore a pajama set that was covered in cute coffees, lattes, pies, and pumpkins.

You and Bradley brought down the kids. The boys were strong enough to start sitting on their own in their high chairs. So you and Bradley placed them into each of theirs. Leia pranced around and looked at all the food that was laid out for everyone.

“GOSH I AM SO HUNGRY!” Leia was so excited. “You and me both, sweetheart.” Bradley picked up Leia and kissed her cheek over and over again.

Everyone started to make their way downstairs.

Phoenix wore an oversized pajama set that said, “official pumpkin pie tester.”

Austin wore a grey pajama set with pumpkin pies all over it. (Hehehe)

Gunner came running into the kitchen with a onesie that had turkeys, pumpkins, and “happy thanksgiving” written all over it.

You all started to take a seat at the table. Bradley sat at the head of the table. You to the left of him. Next to you was Phoenix followed by Austin and then little Bradley in his high chair next to him. On the other side was going to be Leia, Jake, and then Luke in his high chair.

You were all seated and Bradley looked around for Jake.

“Seresin. Hurry the hell up!” You slapped Bradley’s arm and shook your head. “Sorry, sweetheart.” Bradley cleared his throat. “MOVE YOUR ASS, SERESIN!”

“IM COMING!” Jake yelled from the top of the stairs. You could all hear him making his ay down.

“HO-LY. SHIIIIIT.” Bradley, Leia, and Phoenix all said at the same time as Jake made his way down.

Hangman was in a big turkey onesie. He had the hood on and everything.

“That is one big Turkey.” Austin laughed as he looked at Jake.

“Gobble Gobble these nuts, Bradshaw.” Jake laughed and Bradley spit out his water.

“MY CHILDREN ARE IN THE ROOM.” He lunged for Leia’s ears.

Once you all sat down every one took turns writing what they were grateful for and placed it into the jar.

Bradley jumble the jar and everyone took turns asking out a paper and reading what was on it.

You were first, “I am grateful for being able to spend this holiday season (and everyday) with the people I love.” You smiled and looked around. Austin raised his hand. “Mine. I’m grateful to have you all in my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You passed the jar to Phoenix. “I am grateful for being alive and being around those I love the most.” Phoenix looked straight at Bradley. Bradley smiled and nodded at Phoenix. “That be me. I love you guys.”

Phoenix passed the jar to Austin. “I am grateful for food.” Everyone looked slowly at Leia. She started to turn red and giggle. “I AM HUNGRY, OKAY!” She crossed her arms and scowled at everyone as you all laughed.”

Austin gave the jar to Leia. “I am grateful for all my friends and family.” Leia looked up at everyone. Phoenix put her finger up. “Me. I’m grateful for all of you. Life would have been lame if I wasn’t here with you all right now.” She looked at Hangman, “That includes you too, Bagman.” They both laughed.

Leia gave the jar to Hangman. “Here, Uncle Jakey.” He kissed her cheek and pulled out one of the folded papers. “I am grateful for the beautiful family I have been given.” You smiled, “I don’t know where i would have been if I hadn’t met or created any of you. I love you, guys.”

Jake reached over Leia and gave the jar to Bradley. “WELL. We all know who is left.” Jake laughed.

Bradley pulled out the last folded paper. “Let’s see what we’ve got here.” He looked down at it and his smile softened. He looked at Jake and gave him a little nod and he nodded back. Bradley sighed. “I am grateful for saving the man that saved me. Thank you Bradshaw for taking me in as one of your own after all these years. I don’t deserve you, buddy. I am thankful for being able to be a part of his and y/n’s family.” Bradley folded the paper back up and smiled at Hangman.

Jake pushed his lips together and smiled. “Of course you’d get mine. But it’s true. I’ll forever be grateful and thankful that you both have allowed me to be a part of your family. Thank you.” You got up and gave Jake a kiss on the cheek. Bradley smiled, “I couldn’t imagine a life without you, Turkeyman.”

Leia gave Jake a kiss. “I love you, uncle Jakey!”

After all the thanks were given you all ate together reminiscing on what the year had been so far. You were all grateful for everything you were given in the last 11 months.

After dinner, you all cozied up on the couches and Leia chose to watch ‘Addams Family Values.’ Her favorite part was when Wednesday sabotaged the play and burned down the thanksgiving set.

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Happy Thanksgiving, my loves! I promise to be posting the next chapter of HLG this coming week. Everything has just been so hectic! But it will be up soon! Thank you for your patience and love. See you in the next one! 🫶🏼

Dinner party guests are in the comments ❤️

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kedreeva · 1 year

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Forgot that I’d wanted to share these turkey’s I saw while doing my christmas shopping. The joys of urban life apparently

#what simply beautiful jakes!!!!#boys out on the town!#looking for joggers to chase no doubt #I love them thank you #Sumbissions #turkeys #birds

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readyforthegarden · 6 months

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Happy Thanksgiving to all my lovies!!! I'm so thankful for all the friends I've made here and all the love we all continue to spread!!! love you all so much!

#sam is sitting on plates bc he IS the meal #jake brought the deviled eggs ofc and danny brought the pie #josh brought himself and that's a feat of it's own #but he always runs off with the turkey leg

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anthemofgvf · 7 months

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alright leave me alone

#having a lane crisis #AEROSMITH ON DRUMS?!#danny please #he’s so cute w his lil turkey #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #sam kiszka #jake gvf #josh gvf #sammy kiszka #sam gvf

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dirk-strider-and-splinters-daily · 6 months

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DAY 60

#homestuck #dirk strider #dirkjake #jake english #dirk splinters daily #happy thanksgiving gamers can you tell i was lacking in time #how the fuck do you draw a turkey

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oliverreedmasterass · 6 months

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Synopsis: Jake decides he wants to host Thanksgiving this year, and Josh is immediately skeptical that he's up to no good

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: language, drinking, explosive turkeys, chainsaws, mildly graphic violence, v*miting, just really poor cooking decisions

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

“You are cordially invited to Sir Jacob Thomas Kiszka’s manor for an evening of drinks, tryptophan, and mirth. Come suited in your finest attire and please bring extra beverages so the host can get properly smashed,” Josh read the invitation in his hands aloud, over the phone to Sam. “Is he serious?”

“He sounds dead serious,” Sam replied back. “I’m surprised he wants to host this.”

“This has to be a joke,” Josh decided. “He doesn’t live in a manor, it’s a townhouse.” His phone pinged and he checked to see that Danny had sent him a message.

Jake is doing Thanksgiving?!

Josh quickly typed a response back: I doubt he means it.

The invite seems pretty legit.

Josh sighed and studied the invitation on matte, warm vanilla shaded paper, its font hand-written with what looked like a quill. Golden feathers and fall leaves decorated the edge of the card, making it look like something straight from Etsy.

“I say we take the bait,” Sam spoke up over the phone. Josh brought the phone back to his ear. “Let’s just see where this takes us.”

“Yeah, okay,” Josh agreed, raking a hand through his curly hair with worry. He had no idea what Jake had in store for them.

Jake texted Josh later that day and Josh could tell he was in over his head.

Hey tell sam and danny to bring dishes to the dinner I’m not a miracle worker over here

I never said you were, Josh responded back.

bring mashed potatoes

Josh didn’t like mashed potatoes, and he was certain Jake knew that. Throughout his childhood, he made a show of piling Sam’s plate high with his helping whenever they were served for dinner. He called it the Taterfest Destiny, which no one found to be funny. At that point, Josh was certain that Jake was scheming something, and they were destined to have a terrible Thanksgiving.

Because of Josh’s bad gut feeling, he held off on getting anything for the mashed potatoes, and didn’t even think about them until 15 minutes before he was expected to show up at Jake’s supposed “manor.”

“Shit,” Josh cursed to himself when his memory struck him. He finished stepping into his dress pants and then rushed to the kitchen. In the very back of his pantry he found a box of instant potatoes that someone who definitely wasn’t him had put in there. It seemed like a sign from the heavens above that he wouldn’t have to go to the grocery store on arguably one of the busiest days of the year. He studied the instructions on the back of the box and sighed with relief when he took in that it only called for water, butter, and milk. Josh knew he had water, and butter was a must, being from the midwest and all, but milk would be a problem. Josh had been under strict instructions from his vocal coach that he lay off the milk during their tour since it messed with his singing and, after the tour, his milk-free diet stuck. He was more of an almond milk kind of guy anyways. The problem, though, was that Josh had downed the rest of his milk substitute earlier that morning for breakfast without thinking, while being entranced by the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

Josh rushed around, desperately searching for anything with an at least semi-creamy consistency to no avail. He shoved his hand into the back of the fridge and pulled out a half-empty bottle of Pedialyte. He frowned down at it and thought hard. It was Coconut Burst Pedialyte. Coconut milk was a popular alternative for milk. It had to be close enough texture and flavor-wise, right?

It was a gamble Josh was willing to take.

So, twenty minutes later, Josh grabbed the pot of piping hot mashed potatoes right off the stove, put his blazer coat on to match his khaki pants, and hurried to his car. Because he didn’t know any better (he wasn’t the big chef of the family, he had more important things going on in his life) he flung the pot onto the passenger seat and lurched the car forward out of his driveway and into traffic. The force of his abrupt driving caused the pot to go flying, and the potatoes landed with a sploosh on the floor of his car. Instead of taking that as a sign from the heavens above that he ditch the potatoes and tolerate the berating from Jake instead of potentially killing his friends with food poisoning, Josh slammed on the brakes and scooped the potatoes into the pot with his hand. For the rest of the drive to Jake’s, he kept the pot in his lap. Sure, he was nearly certain that he was scorching himself, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for his friends.

He threw the car into park in front of Jake’s townhouse and went up the steps two at a time to his front door.

“You’re late,” Jake greeted him, pulling his pipe out of his mouth. Josh took in his purple velvet smoking jacket, red ascot, and loafers and rolled his eyes.

“The party don’t start ‘til I walk in,” Josh corrected Jake, pushing inside. Jake walked behind him and tried to peer over his shoulder at the potatoes.

“Did you season that with pine needles?” he asked. Josh studied his pot and realized that he hadn’t done a good job cleaning the potatoes after they landed on the floor of his car.

“For aesthetics,” Josh gave a short reply to keep Jake from asking any more questions.

“Sam and Danny are chatting in the parlor,” Jake shared. “Come, this way.”

“You might as well show me,” Josh grumbled, “I have no clue what the fuck you’re talking about, you don’t have a parlor.”

Jake led Josh to the living room, where Danny and Sam were standing by the fireplace, cradling glasses of red wine and chatting away. Josh admired Danny’s festive mustard yellow turtleneck and slacks and Sam’s black button up and patterned scarf combo. With the exception of Jake looking like Squilliam Fancyson, they were all dressed to the nines.

“Glad you could join us,” Sam chirped at Josh and raised his glass of wine in a toast.

“Happy Turkey Day,” Josh grinned back.

“Didn’t bring any booze, did you?” Jake tsked at Josh. Josh remembered that he had left his bottle of tequila back at his place and sadly shook his head. “Looks like you’re sticking to water tonight then,” Jake decided.

“You can have some of my stuff,” Danny rolled his eyes. “I brought the Snoop Dogg wine. It’s actually not half bad.”

Sam nodded in agreement and made a show of downing the rest of his glass. Danny excused himself, collecting Sam’s glass, and retreated to the kitchen to fetch drinks for everyone. With just the Kiszka brothers left behind, Josh took the opportunity to interrogate his twin.

“What are you planning?” he squinted his eyes at Jake. In return, Jake looked genuinely thrown off guard.

“I wanted to host Thanksgiving this year,” he answered with uncertainty.

“You never want to host anything,” Josh countered.

“I like to cook?” Jake tried to defend himself.

“He does like to cook,” Sam confirmed. Josh looked closer at Jake. He still wasn’t buying it. He couldn't’ grill him more though, since Danny came back in with the refreshments.

“Cheers!” He greeted the room and then made a show of passing the crystal glasses around. The Kiszkas all chugged down their wine in one gulp. Danny gaped at them and then shook his head.

“I obviously missed something,” he mumbled to himself.

Jake’s host mode snapped back to life and he used his empty glass to motion to his backyard.

“Come out back with me, I’ve got a surprise for you all,” he announced.

“Here we go,” Josh whispered to Sam. He could just picture it: Jake must have hired someone to dress up as a massive turkey and chase them around the backyard with a chainsaw. Either that, or else some of their friends from the music industry were out there waiting for them so they could pelt them in the face with pumpkin pies.

Sam looked back at Josh and shook his head, trying to get him to quiet down. Josh couldn’t understand why Sam wasn’t feeling a similar panic to him. They had both grown up with the guy; he knew what Jake was capable of.

Jake led an apprehensive Josh and indifferent Sam and Danny out to his back porch, and opened his arms wide. Josh at first cowered behind Sam and Danny’s taller frames, but then peeked out behind them when he didn’t hear the whirring of a chainsaw or anyone hollering out “SURPRISE!” To Josh’s confusion, he instead saw a massive pot placed on a table in the middle of the porch.

“I’m not getting in there,” he quickly set his boundary.

“Why would you?” Jake cocked his head to the side. “It’s to fry the turkey.”

“Fry the turkey?” Sam, Danny, and Josh all repeated back to him. Jake looked happy that he could explain his plan.

“I saw a video of William Shatner doing it,” he shared. “It’s easily the most cinematic way you can cook a bird. This will be the Thanksgiving to end all other Thanksgivings. We’re gonna drop this turkey into a pot of piping hot oil and see where it takes us.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Danny commented.

“Only if we’re stupid about it,” Jake countered.

“Which is almost a guarantee,” Sam stated.

“I want to go home,” Josh said, though no one heard him.

“Let me just down this fourth glass of wine and then we can get started,” Jake announced.

“Wait,” Danny tried to step in and be the voice of reason, but it was too late. Jake was already back inside the kitchen, getting the turkey out of the freezer. He came back out a few seconds later, cradling a turkey that had to be over 20 lbs in his arms with a grunt.

“How does this work again?” Sam asked, failing to hide his worry.

“You just kinda, like, dump it into the oil I guess?” Jake replied, still juggling the turkey. “I think it’s like how you make wings, there’s just more meat.”

Everyone watched Jake bring the turkey up to the edge of the pot and peer in, squinting as the scorching hot oil flicked up into his face. The Snoop Dogg wine was already starting to hit Josh pretty hard (what did they put in that shit??), but there was a voice in the back of his head calling to him that, for some reason, what Jake was about to do wasn’t a good call. He didn’t have time to voice his concern though, since Jake put a pair of safety goggles on both him and the turkey, and then did a Kobe throw, sending the turkey straight into the pot, nothing but net. It took less than a half a second for the turkey to combust into a massive fiery ball, sending all four of them scampering away with loud screams.

They all booked it to the edge of Jake’s backyard, as far away from the raging fire as possible, and took in the damage. Jake’s eyebrows had not been covered by his safety goggles and were consequently entirely singed off. The flames licked dangerously close to Jake’s house as a jet black plume of smoke extended above the neighborhood buildings. The explosion had sent the charred turkey flying nearly out of the stratosphere, and as they tried to catch their breaths, it dropped back to the ground, missing Danny by half a foot. Sam sighed and retrieved his phone from his pocket to call 9-1-1.

It took the firefighters a solid 45 minutes to put the fire out and, after telling Jake he had to do 20 hours of community service for being careless with his turkey, they made their way back to their Thanksgiving feast back at the station. As for the members of Greta Van Fleet, they headed back inside Jake’s miraculously undamaged house to continue on with their festivities.

“So maybe the turkey was a bust,” Jake shrugged. “But how was I supposed to know that turkeys are explosive?”

“It’s because it was frozen, Jake,” Sam corrected him. “The steam from the ice melting in the oil created the reaction.”

“That would have been good to know before I put the turkey in there, Bill Nye,” Jake pinched at the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“The wine really knocked out my critical thinking skills,” Sam admitted. Josh was secretly glad that he wasn’t the only one who had gotten his ass handed to him by Snoop Dogg’s wine.

“It’s okay,” Jake tried to reassure himself, “you guys brought side dishes for us. We still have stuff to eat.”

“Technically the turkey is still edible,” Danny said, holding the blackened bird in front of him like roadkill. “Or, there should be at least some part of it that we could maybe salvage.”

“It smells nasty," Josh took a whiff around it.

"I'm vegetarian," Sam remembered.

Jake uncorked a bottle of hard liquor from his booze table, took a swig, and led everyone into the dining room where the rest of the food was waiting.

“Sam brought a nice salad, Danny got us the stuffing, and Josh made mashed potatoes. Is that enough to hold everyone over?”

“Works for me,” Danny shrugged. Sam nodded. Josh grimaced when he remembered the state of his potatoes, but decided to keep his mouth shut. Maybe his friends wouldn’t notice what he had done.

Five minutes later, Sam gaped down at the mashed potatoes served on his fancy china plate, next to his stuffing and salad.

“What the hell is this?” he asked as he poked at the discolored spuds with his fork. “Vomit?”

“That’s Josh’s contribution to dinner,” Jake offered an answer. Danny pulled an empty ketchup packet out of his pile of potatoes and made a soft humph sound. Josh let out a nervous laugh and attempted to put on a big grin for the table.

“Bon appetit!” he tried.

“I feel like, between the two of you,” Sam said, pointing from Jake to Josh with his fork, “you’re trying to kill Danny and I this Thanksgiving.” Josh was surprised that Sam had finally come around, but he was grouping him in with whatever evil Jake was up to.

“I swear I’m not!” Josh and Jake protested at the same time. Josh cleared his throat and motioned at the potatoes.

“It’s an old family recipe,” he lied straight out of his ass. “It’s good, I promise.”

“Your family put CVS receipts in their mashed potatoes?” Danny asked after inspecting his plate closer.

“If it’s so good, why aren’t you having any?” Sam called Josh out.

“You know I don’t like potatoes,” Josh quickly retorted. It was a sound alibi, afterall. Sam couldn’t argue with it, so he admitted his defeat by shoveling a mouthful of the rank mashed potatoes into his mouth. As soon as they went in, they were spat back out, across the table, directly at Josh.

“PITOOEY!” Sam spluttered, clawing at his tongue. “That could single-handedly take down the Roman Empire!”

“Ah, there we go,” Jake nodded. “I’ve thought about the Roman Empire today and met my quota.” And, with that, Jake wandered out of the room and into the kitchen, humming a big band tune.

“It can’t be that bad,” Danny tried to be supportive of Josh. “I’m sure it’s just a taste you’re not used to, Sam.”

“Sure,” Sam said, still scraping his fingernails down his tongue, “if you mean a dog’s big old butthole.”

Danny shook his head at Sam and forked his own helping of the potatoes into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully, but the flavor must have smacked him since his eyes bugged and he jumped to his feet to rush to the bathroom. After the sounds of his retching died down, Danny hollered from the bathroom.

“JOSH! WHY DID THAT TASTE LIKE A MIX BETWEEN MOTHBALLS AND COCONUTS?”

“Well,” Josh folded his hands in front of him and let out a soft chuckle. “That’s a good catch, Daniel. I ran out of milk so I had to use an alternative.”

“Coconut milk?” Danny asked as he took his seat back at the table, still looking slightly pale. He studied the food in front of him, made a face, and pushed his plate away with the back of his hand.

“Better,” Josh said before taking a dramatic pause. “Pedialyte.”

The table gawked at him.

“Pedialyte,” Sam repeated.

“Yup,” Josh nodded. “It’s actually kinda ironic that it made Danny throw up, considering it’s supposed to be a good remedy for stomach and bowel discomfort.”

“Why didn’t you just, I don’t know, go to the store and buy milk?” Sam sounded on the brink of hysterics. “You literally live three minutes away from the grocery store?”

“I’m an innovative thinker,” was all Josh could think to say. “I wanted to try something new on the off chance that I would discover a groundbreaking new recipe. I guess that didn’t happen, but here’s to trying, right?”

Danny took a long chug from his wine glass and then made a face.

“I also have a confession to make,” he spoke. All eyes fell on him, and he took a deep inhale. “I think I might have botched my stuffing.”

“Not you too,” Sam looked troubled.

“So you guys know that my parents are usually in charge of Thanksgiving dinner,” Danny started to explain. “It’s kind of out of my wheelhouse. Well, I reached out to them asking for their stuffing recipe, but I think my dad must have misread my text, because he sent me a recipe for something else entirely. I actually don’t know what I made.”

Sam and Josh both looked closer at their plates. The “stuffing” looked absolutely nothing like it. In fact, Josh made a mental note that the brown lump on his plate actually looked like it was moving. Sam must have caught sight of something similar, because he picked up his plate and slid his helping back into the serving dish. Danny nodded his head with a slight frown, like he understood where Sam was coming from.

“I think he might have mixed up stuffing with pudding.”

“This is pudding?” Josh couldn’t help but sound surprised. Sure, it kind of resembled chocolate pudding, but if it was radioactive and on the brink of evolving into a bipedal organism.

“So maybe I got confused halfway through,” Danny admitted.

“This Thanksgiving is a disaster,” Sam grabbed at his head.

“It’s okay, your salad is the saving grace, Sam,” Danny tried to reassure his friend. Sam did have a reputation as the master of plant-based cooking, afterall. Sam let out a deep groan and covered his head in his hands. “Oh no,” Danny reacted with a frown. “What did you do?”

“I dropped a contact lens in there somewhere,” Sam kept his face covered, but freed one hand to point at the salad bowl. Josh stared at Sam.

“You don’t wear contact lenses.”

“Correct,” Sam’s voice was muffled. “But I was curious what it was like, so I tried to pop ‘em in, but I lost my grip on one and it dropped straight into the bowl. Those things are tough to spot out, so I kind of just gave up.”

Jake came back into the dining room, proudly holding up a single leg of the turkey, which was still blackened to the point where the meat wasn’t visible. Entirely ignoring the soured mood of the room, he grinned from ear to ear.

“I think I found a part of the bird that’s still edible!”

“Nothing here is edible!” Sam groaned out. “We all blew it.”

“If you’re talking about the turkey, yeah, I blew it up, don’t give everyone else the credit,” Jake put his hands on his hips.

“Everything out here is bound to give us food poisoning,” Josh tried to catch Jake up to speed.

“Huh?” Jake asked. “I figured you would bring at least semi-quality food to my feast.”

“Well, we failed,” Danny told Jake with sorrow, and then added, “tremendously.”

Jake pursed his lips together, looking deep in thought.

“It’s no matter,” he said, placing the turkey leg directly down onto his white lace tablecloth, making Josh wince. “The food was going to take away from the main experience anyways.”

“What do you mean, Jake?” Josh stared him down. This was the thing he had been planning all along. Josh knew there was something up.

“You might all be wondering why I brought you here today,” Jake started.

“Yes,” Josh answered for the rest of the table, not seeing that Sam and Danny were shrugging, like they could care less.

“Four perfect strangers, all trapped under one roof.”

“We all know each other,” Sam chipped in. “Actually, quite well.”

“Peculiar, right?” Jake continued with his speech, choosing to ignore Sam’s interjection. “Well, I’m here to share that there is one thing that links us all together. There’s a reason why we are gathered here tonight. There is a man who has blackmail of all of us.”

“What?” Danny looked around in a panic. “What blackmail?”

Sam and Josh looked at their brother in exhaustion.

“Jake,” Josh cut in, “we’re not doing this.”

Jake took a pause to shoot Josh a glare.

“Yes, we are.” He turned back to Danny. “Mr. Boddy is his name. I will present you with a weapon, and you will be given the opportunity to dispose of this vile man before he ruins your reputation.”

Jake reached into the deep pocket of his smoking jacket and retrieved the thermometer from his fried turkey project, presenting it to Danny.

“Pop that in his jugular, and he’s as good as gone,” Jake instructed Danny. Danny clutched the thermometer in his hand, looking serious. Jake fetched Josh’s bowl of mashed potatoes from the table and tried to give them to him. “These are sure to kill the poor soul,” he said.

“Nope,” Josh stood and waved his arms to put everything to an end. “We’re not living out your Clue fantasy, Jake.”

“I’m so confused,” Danny whispered to himself, still holding onto the thermometer like it was his lifeline.

“We have to solve the mystery though!” Jake tried to protest. Sam walked around the table to join his side and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You watched the movie again recently, didn’t you?”

“A week ago,” Jake nodded.

“And you wanted to see how well you could play Tim Curry’s character.”

Jake shrugged.

“The fried turkey was a little extra treat that I wanted to try out.”

“So this was never about Thanksgiving?”

“It was kind of secondary, I’ll admit.”

The mood in the room dropped below dismal conditions. Danny, unsure what to do with himself, stuck the thermometer into his “stuffing” and watched in horror as the temperature spiked off the charts.

“This is supposed to be a holiday that we can share with our loved ones, reminding ourselves what we’re grateful for,” Josh coached Jake.

“Actually, the origins of this holiday aren’t great,” Sam chimed in.

“What I mean,” Josh continued, “is this is an opportunity for us to spend time together and appreciate one another. Not accuse each other of killing some fictional man.”

“We’d be doing it together though,” Jake tried to argue.

“It’s a pretty polarizing activity,” Josh begged to differ. Jake huffed.

“I feel like we’ve been at each other’s throats all day,” Danny said. “I think we need to give this a second try.”

“Preferably without Pedialyte potatoes,” Sam added.

“Drop it,” Josh growled at him.

Jake thought hard and then popped his pipe into the corner of his mouth with a smirk of satisfaction.

“I have a proposition,” he announced.

“This should be good,” Josh murmured.

“We bring in some takeout,” Jake said. “I’m feeling oysters.”

“Ooh,” the rest of the group hummed in agreement. “That sounds amazing,” Danny added. “And not potentially lethal.”

“As long as they don’t have too much mercury in them,” Sam thought aloud.

“Oysters it is,” Jake decided. “A true Thanksgiving feast!”

With a laugh, the group of friends took their places back at Jake’s nicely set table (with the exception of the turkey leg discarded off to the side) and placed their hefty order at the local seafood shop.

“So,” Danny looked across the table at Josh, “if we’re supposed to be spending time together and appreciating one another, I think we better go around and say one thing we’re thankful for.”

“I’ll go first,” Sam jumped in. “I’m thankful I don’t have to wear contact lenses.”

“Lucky bastard,” Jake shook his head. “I’m glad I didn’t lose my manor in the fire.”

“Townhouse,” Josh corrected him.

“I’m grateful that the Snoop Dogg wine got me hammered enough that I didn’t really fully taste your potatoes, Josh,” Danny joked.

“Well I’m thankful that I get to spend today with all of you,” Josh looked around at his friends.

“Gross,” Sam twisted his face in disgust.

“Just, take the compliment,” Danny elbowed him in the side.

“And I’m thankful Jake didn’t hire anyone to chase after us in a turkey costume,” Josh added.

“Wrong,” Jake grinned into his wine glass.

“Huh?” the rest of the table asked.

“SURPRISE MOTHERCLUCKERS!” Kirk Hammett shrieked, jumping out from the kitchen dressed in a blowup turkey costume, wielding a chainsaw.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Notes: Please do not put a frozen turkey into a pot of boiling oil. Seriously, don't.

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka #gvf fanfic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic #jake gvf #josh gvf #danny gvf #sam gvf #thanksgiving #turkey day

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failbaby · 6 months

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Personally I hate Thanksgiving and I think we need to be putting Christmas decorations out NEOW so that we can more effectively bypass Thanksgiving

#oc #Brooklyn 99 is a terrible show but Jake Peralta once said 'the pilgrims were murderers and turkey tastes like napkins' and I live by that

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paigenoelchas-blog · 1 year

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Over Your Shoulder

01: The Gathering

** see notes at the end of the story.**

TW: Gluttony and a little language.

Having lived in the United States for a large part of my life, I found myself missing Thanksgiving. The traditions that this American holiday contains have helped bring people together as a nation, as a family, a now, as friends. It has, in the past, been the time of year when all of the family got together and celebrated the love and blessings that have been given to them. It was a time when the family would eat, talk and play enjoying the chance to simply be in each other's company.

Over the years, Thanksgiving has changed as the family has. We don't all have traditional lives, sometimes people now celebrate friends that are like family. Since most of us in the group had difficult family situations, I thought it would be fun if we gathered all of the gang and I could host and share a tradition that I loved at the same time.

Jake indulges me and lets me throw Friendsgiving at his cabin. It is the perfect place to hold such a party. It isn't that big, but it is cozy and it is a bit of a drive, so it feels a little more special. We can have a fire in the fireplace and the back porch allows for hours of perfect stargazing. In fact, Jake installed a new fire pit just for the occasion. I can not wait to be around the people that I love the most, eat good food, drink good wine and talk all night.

I call it Jake's cabin, but the truth is I have been living here, with him, in bliss, for the last year. This is the secret reason that I want Friendsgiving here. It has been one year since he carried me over the thresh hold. Yes, he actually did it, as cheesy as it was, He carried me through the doorway, then immediately threw me on the couch and proceeded to christen the living room, and the dining table, and the bedroom, and the shower. I still blush thinking about it, but I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.

Months of prepping has gone into this holiday. I have spent hours on Pinterest and watching decoration videos and assigning everyone a part of the dinner to cook. I trust Cleo to cook all of the desserts, hoping that she leaves the pumpkin pie off of the list. The house smells of freshly baked rolls and turkey, ham, of cinnamon and cloves. The candles are lit, the fireplace is roaring, the place cards are readied, and the silverware is set. It is beautiful, everything is exactly as I have imagined it. Nostalgic feelings light up my face and warmth fills my heart.

I am caught up in my own world thinking back to when I was younger and looking forward to tonight, when I feel his arms wrap around me. He places soft kisses on my neck and whispers a voice that sounds deep and smooth like maple syrup, "This place looks incredible, you look incredible." He spins me around to look in his eyes and my dress spins long after my body stops revealing the deep slit that runs up most of my leg stopping at my upper thigh. It is a long-sleeved, loose-fitting gown and is lower cut in the front than it should be, but I know it will drive him crazy all night. Part of me loves that thought. This is the part of me that bought this dress in the first place.

I am looking at him, the candlelight is dancing in his eyes. All that I can see is love and hope and the place where my soul lives. He brushes a hair off of the side of my face with his hand and leans in for a sweet kiss on the cheek and then whispers in my ear, "You have no idea how lucky you are that everyone is coming so soon because I have some ideas for you and me and that dress... and without the dress. Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He asks.

I smirk.

"You are!" He says in sudden realization. "Naughty girl. You will pay for that later." I smile, knowing that his punishment will be my pleasure.

His eyes turn a dark sapphire and his hands roam down my body and land on my ass. He pulls me into him so that there is no space in between our bodies and he begins searching for the slit in my skirt that allows him access. Finding it, he leans in and caresses the bare skin of my thigh. His mouth is millimeters away from mine when the doorbell rings.

His head hangs down on my chest in a tiny bit of frustration and smiles as one who is bitterly disappointed. Mumbling under his breath, I hear, "Damn it! it is lucky these are my favorite people." He pulls away and we straighten our clothes. I chuckle a little at his frustration and then realize that I carry my own. He slings his arm around my waist as we walk to the door to greet our guests.

We know who will be -- Cleo. She is always painfully on time. We need her to keep us all in line. I also know that her arms will be filled with desserts. She is excessive and overly thoughtful. She will try to make a special dessert for everyone. Cleo and Sam show up with their arms overloaded. Sam is Cleo's boyfriend of about two years. Her mother had set them up at one of their church socials. We expected him to be tight-lipped and stodgy, but he wasn't. He is funny and charming and keeps Cleo from organizing every aspect of her life away and also keeps her safe from some of her more impulsive choices. He has become one of us and almost fills that nice guy slot that Richy has vacated.

Almost...

We still miss him. There'll always be a void there. No matter what he did, whether we can forgive him or not, his presence is missed, especially this time of year.

Cleo storms in with boxes of cookies and containers of cupcakes. Sam carries the pies: pumpkin, cherry, and pecan. There are more sweets here than we can consume in five Friendsgivings. She leans in and kisses my cheek. "Happy Friendsgiving, you two. Jake, could you help Sam unload the car?"

"There's more?" Jake asks incredulously, giving Sam a sympathetic look.

"You have no idea," Sam says. "There is a reason that I have gained twenty pounds since we have started dating." Then he pauses at the sight of Cleo, the look of love on his face does not go unnoticed by either Jake or myself. "I am not complaining. It's been the best two years of my life. We better get those unloaded," he says motioning toward the door. "She has been cooking for three full days. I have taste tested a lot of dessert. I have a question for you Jake, you are a smart guy, what the hell is mincemeat and why do they put that in a pie?" He says as they walk out to the car. Jake shakes his head and laughs a little under his breath. "I don't know, man, but we can look it up after we help your lady out."

As the men are unloading, I see another car pull in the drive. It is Lily and Dan. They have been seeing each other for a while now, though no one really knows how long. They kept it a secret for a while. They knew it wouldn't make sense to all of us. At first it didn't, but when we calmed down and thought about it, Dan and Lily are both fiercely protective of those that they love and they can be reckless in their efforts to keep everyone safe and happy.. They make each other laugh and feel cared for. What else could we want for them?

Dan rolls out of the car and slides around, opening the door for Lily. He is carrying a box with what I guess must be alcohol and a casserole dish. Lily stands up and I notice how peaceful and elegant she looks as she watches him in front of her. He gives her confidence so that she can shine. They are happy and I can't help but smile. Dan is wearing a suit and has shaved. I have never seen him this fancy. "What's up, handsome?" I say as I usher him through the door. He winks at me. "The party has arrived, little one."

Mock offense crosses my face. I punch him in the arm. "Who are you calling little?" I say and he laughs deep from his chest.

Then Lily grabs me around the neck and hugs me tight, looking inside, "Oh, sister, this is amazing." I never thought she would hug me. I never thought she would call me sister. I never thought I would love her so much. No one could ask for a more passionate advocate and loyal friend.

"Come on in. It's cold outside." I usher her in and I notice Dan has usurped the kitchen and is all ready mixing drinks. Cleo is trying to usher him out, but he is not having any of it. Jake and Sam have escaped to research mincemeat in the office. I have a sneaking suspicion that they 'found' the XBOX while they were in there and have gotten lost for a bit.

The door bell rings again. This time it is Thomas and Hannah. He has his arm around her waist, she has a big smile, the kind that always lights up the room when she enters. I am glad to see that smile back on her face, it has been too long. It has been a rough few years for them. The night at the mine was about three years ago. Hannah was sentenced to a few months in jail, but it was almost a good thing because she received much needed therapy during this time. Thomas stayed by her side throughout it all, dealing with his demons as she dealt with the hers, Now it seems, they are stronger than ever, Thomas has his guitar slung over his back. He gives me a quick hug and rushes to meet Dan at what has apparently become the bar for the evening. She hands me flowers. Hannah is the most thoughtful among us. "Thanks so much for having us," she says, rushing into my arms, almost knocking me over. "Where is that gorgeous brother of mine?"

"The office," I answer, "but not for long. I'm pulling the boys out of there soon." I talk tough, but I know that Jake will miss me before I have to drag him out. We can't go long without seeing each other. We waited too long to be in each other's arms.

"I don't care, Im gonna go get him," she speaks in a mischievous voice, flitting across the room like a kid. I hear him scream as she jumps on his lap then the air is filled with laughter. He is tickling her for revenge. I am so happy that they are in this place where all the years that they were separated have fallen away and they can just love each other.

With everyone listening to music and chatting, drinking and snacking, I take a moment to admire these people that I get to share life with. I am happy, I am loved, I am home.

The table is full of food and lush with fabric and place cards, each person has their own space specifically designed for them. Everything is ready, we are just waiting for our last two guests.

The doorbell rings for the last time tonight, it is Jessy and Phil. Jessy has been through a lot these last few years. The fact that she is still here and functioning is a testament to her strength. You see, she had loved Richy with her whole heart, but she didn't realize it until he was gone. By that time, she also realized that he had been lying to her about so many things. Processing that has been rough on her and watching the world move on without her has left her as a shell of who she was. She always seems lonely in our midst.

"Jessy..." I greet her with a hug. I am estactic that she is here. I feel Jake's hand on my back, and a quick peck on my cheek. "Jessica, welcome," He grabs her hand and pulls her in for a hug as he plants a kiss on her cheek. She always blushes a little every time he does this, but she knows that it is an honor. It means that he really cares for her, so she will never tell him to stop. Jake adores Jessy. He is on mission to lead her back to her old self, the one in which the sadness doesn't linger behind her eyes. I, of course, love the fact that he treats her so well. She deserves all of the love that the world has to offer.

Then, there is Phil. He swaggers in with his usual confidence. Over the past few years, Jake and Phil have set their dispute aside. It was easy once Phil realized that my heart only belongs to Jake. The two have become buddies. In fact, they frequently have "men nights", which irritates me to no end as they aren't allowed to share what happens on these evenings. That is the one rule and my only negative about them hanging out. I used to be one of the guys.

Phil picks me up and spins me around. "Hello, Beautiful. Happy American Holiday to you."

Jake shoves him aside jokingly, "We have spoken of this, Phillip. Hands off." Jake grabs me and hugs me tight, but he smiles, obviously understanding that my heart only beats for him. HIs jealousy is gone. Too bad. That was kind of fun for a while. Jake reaches for Phil's hand and they share some sort of secret handshake.

"I know, I know, you got the girl," Phil chuckles and the two walk inside.

With everyone here, we slowly make our way to the table that is filled with so much food that there is almost no room for our plates. If the cabin didn't have an island in the kitchen, I don't know what we would have done.

"Ok, let's get this show started, I am starving. I haven't eaten all day. This food better live up to the hype." Dan winks and changes his tone. "Seriously, MC, this is beautiful and the food looks amazing. Thank you all for all of this,"

"Thank you," I say with tears in my eyes, reaching for Jake's hand "...for being family to me when I wasn't born with the best one. Thank you for making me laugh and for being with me when I cry, for being by my side to help me fight demons. Thank you for being in my life. Each of you makes me who I am today." I raise my glass and offer a toast. "Happy Friendsgiving."

We clink our glasses, "Let's Eat!" I say and the feasting begins.

A little while later, Dan speaks up again, "I don't know who made up this holiday, but I owe it to them, that dinner was incredible." Thomas nods in agreement. Lily shook her head at Dan, acting ashamed of his enthusiasm, but we all know that she isn't ashamed of anything Dan does. She loves him too much to be anything other than enamored. Jake who is sitting next to me, runs his hand up and down my thigh under the table, the dirty scoundrel. I did kind of ask for it. I begin to squirm and change the subject.

"Ok, now here comes my favorite part."

"Dessert?" Jake jokes. He has discovered that I have quite a sweet tooth.

"No." I say and stick out my tongue at him. "Before we get up from the table we each have to tell one thing we are thankful for."

Thomas stands and says, "If it is ok, I would like to go first. "

I nod. He fiddles around with his pocket, Suddenly, I have a good idea of what is about to happen. I look at Lily and she does too.

"I am so happy to be here with all of you."He begins, "These past few years have proven that time is fleeting. I don't want to waste a second not remembering how lucky I am to have this rag tag family. I don't want to waste a second without Hannah in my life. Hannah," he holds her hand in his, " You have been through so much these past three years, and you have been so strong. Watching you survive the kidnapping, jail, therapy, and coming back to yourself has made me fall deeper into love with you. Deeper than I thought possible."

I look around the room and all of us have tears in our eyes, but my eyes lock on Jessy. While all of us are crying tears of happiness, hers are laced with loss, she is on my other side and I grab her hand, letting her know that I am here for her. Lily is about to jump out of her chair with excitement. Dan wraps his arm around her so she can settle.

Thomas bends down on one knee "...Hannah Marie Donfort, will you...."

In that instant, Jessy's phone rings. She answers it. I can't believe that she would answer her phone in this moment. I almost say something to her, but the look of shock on her face lets me know that this isn't an ordinary phone call.

I see tears begin to stream down her face Her words are barely audible through her sobs. "Its been three years, I went to your funeral. How do I even know this is.....you?" There is a long pause and then, "OK. I will. One hour. I have missed you..." another pause followed by, "I love you too, Richy." She hangs up the phone and begins to gather her stuff.

Thomas stands up and Phil grabs Jessy's arm.

"What s going on, Jess?" Phil asks cautiously. "Did you just say that you love Richy? How is that possible.

"Let go of my arm. I need to go right now. Ric.. Richy... needs help. He is alive and he loves me."Jessy says he eyes alight with hope and panic.

"WHAT?" Dan screams. "What are you talking about? This can't be true. He hasn't been heard from in years. He manipulated all of us and...you are going to help him? Where do you think you are going?" Lily is trying to calm down, but we all know that she probably feels the same and who can blame her?

He needs me," she says sadly as she is trying to calm down, " I have to help." Phil is still holding on to her arm. He is trying to keep her safe from herself.

"Who the hell does he think he is that he can call here and ask for help?" Lily interjects.

"...and who the hell are you, Jessy, to think he is worth the help?' Hannah went to jail because of him." Thomas speaks with anger in his voice, though he speaks in a lower tone.

Jessy is getting angry she clenches her lips and speaks through her gritted teeth, "Hannah went to jail because of Hannah. She did the things she was accused of. I love him. I know I shouldn't after everything he's done. I don't know if I can forgive him, but I just can't help it. He is in trouble and I can't deny that everyday has been torture without him."

Jake stands up and takes her hands in his, "Jessica, even if this isn't a trick, he can't be trusted. You can't possibly think you will be safe, that he is stable? "

"I don't know what to believe, but I can't give up on him. It is worth the risk for me. If no one understands, I am sorry, but I have to do this." Jessy's voice has softened, but her resolve has not weakened.

"Then I am coming with you." I speak up and squeeze Jessy's hand. Jake begins to argue, but sees the look on my face. He knows that there is no talking me out of it.

"Even though I think this is a bad idea, I am not letting you two go out there alone, I am coming with you." Jake responds immediately.

Thomas and Dan are still mad, you can see their faces red and fuming, "You are all crazy to risk your lives for that asshole." Dan says with fire in his eyes. Lily is rubbing his back, trying to help him control his temper.

Hannah sits down with her hands in her lap. They are shaking. She holds onto them so tight, that I fear for her circulation. Thomas chimes in, "Do you see what he is doing to her even now, what he is doing to all of us? How can you show compassion for that monster?"

Jake raises his voice. It is deep and commanding. His eyes shift between Thomas and Dan. "Enough. I understand your point, but I would do the same thing if it was MC and I know that you would do the same for the women you love. This seems to calm them down a bit. "We are doing this," he continues, "so stop badgering her and let me prepare."

Phil comes up to us, "I am coming too. She is my sister and if there is a chance that he is dangerous, I will take him out myself for all of the grief he has caused. "

Jake nods and looks at me. He runs into the office and pulls out five backpacks that are filled with everything we could possibly need to take on the world. You can make the boy stop hacking, but you can't take the hacker out of the boy. He had a backpack prepared for all of the friends, just in case.

Locking eyes with me, he tosses the bag to each one of us. I notice that he has also included a bag for Richy when we catch up to him. He crams some extra snacks in the top of Richy's bag along with a couple of bottles of water. "Ready? Everything you need is in the bag." Jessy, Phil and I nod. "Thomas, Daniel, I need you to be ready for support. Keep these two safe. That is more important than your feelings on the matter."

They both nod, understanding his deeper meaning. I reach out for his hands and he grabs mine, interlacing our fingers as we head to the car. Jessy is frantic, all of the emotions showing on her face and her crimson hair flying in the wind. Phil opens the door for her, his face stoic and his expression one of mixed anger and fear.

"He sent me a GPS signal." Jessy says, "And he says that I won't recognize him because of the damage he sustained." her tears begin to fall again. "what could have possibly happened that he is unrecognizable?

This angers Phil. "The damage that he sustained was by his own hand, Jessy how can you feel bad for him?"

"I just know that without him, my heart was empty and now, I can feel again just knowing that he may be alive." She answers and it makes sense to me. I would follow Jake to the ends of the Earth if I thought he was in trouble. No one could stop me.

I look at the seat next to me as my handsome, strong, genius of a man starts the car and speeds down the freeway. He is worried, but not afraid. I know that he has faced many enemies before and that we are in good hands. I feel safe with him.

This is not how I expected this day to end, but if there was even a chance that could get our old Jessy back, I would do anything. If it is Richy that we need to deal with, we will. if it isn't, we will have to face whatever monster that shows it face. Either way, Jessy will get some answers that she deserves and I will have done something to help my friend find her happiness or at least, find a way to end the continual breaking of her heart.

I watch out the window as the road whirls past and I can't help but think this situation is only going to lead us to more trouble than any of us are ready to deal with, backpacks or not. Jake squeezes my leg as if he is thinking the same thing, but he smiles and raises my hand to his lips placing a reassuring kiss on the inside of my palm. I am thankful to be with him and to be by his side through all of life, the good and the bad.

I know with Jake and a little luck, we will find our answers and maybe, just maybe, Jessy will find her way back to the person that she was. Maybe she will find herself someplace even better.

_______________________________________ ;) ____________________

Notes:

This story was inspired by a prompt designed to challenge all of the discord people to think outside of the box, or maybe simple to give them a challenge that would spur on their writing. I would like to thank @raemae17 for always challenging and inspiring us in incredible ways.

I hope you all like my interpretation of this. I can't wait to read all of yours.

Here is the prompt:

The group has gathered to celebrate Friendsgiving. Everyone is having a great time, until.....

And here is the quote that I was also inspired by:

“Missing someone is like hearing a name sung quietly from somewhere behind you. Even after you know no one is there, you keep looking back.” – Tim Seibles

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