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xxspringmelodyxx · 3 months

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Why Her and Not Me?

Gojo Satoru x F.Reader x Geto Suguru (Angst) Part IV

Hello my lovely readers! I am back with part IV, so I’m just gonna cut to the chase and let you all read! Thank you all for the support, I really appreciate you all so much <3333 Now, without further ado…Enjoy~

Masterlist

A few more weeks had slipped by, each day bringing Toru closer to the edge of his sanity. The once familiar rhythm of his life had been disrupted, thrown into disarray by the growing distance between you and him. No matter how hard he tried to push aside his feelings, they continued to gnaw at him, a relentless reminder of what he had lost.

Every passing day seemed to deepen the void that had formed in his heart, leaving him feeling hollow and incomplete. The ache of longing grew more pronounced with each passing moment, a constant presence that refused to be ignored. And as much as he tried to distract himself with work and other activities, his thoughts inevitably circled back to you, to the warmth of your smile and the comfort of your presence.

But it wasn't just the absence of your friendship that tormented him; it was the way you seemed to be drifting further and further away, drawn to Suguru like a moth to a flame. Every shared laugh, every whispered conversation, served as a painful reminder of the bond you shared with Suguru, a connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

Toru's frustration boiled beneath the surface, simmering with a volatile intensity that threatened to consume him. He couldn't understand why you were pulling away from him, why you seemed to prefer Suguru's company over his own. Was it something he had done? Something he had said? The questions swirled in his mind, each one adding fuel to the fire of his insecurity and self-doubt.

And as time continued to move forward, Toru's relationship with Osaka began to move backwards. It was becoming evident that their relationship was starting to suffer under the weight of his internal turmoil. He found himself growing increasingly distant and aloof, unable to fully commit to their relationship. He couldn’t, not when he felt his heart quickly being tethered to you. Their once easy bond had been replaced by tension and unease, their conversations strained and stilted.

Osaka, sensing the growing distance between them, had tried to reach out to Toru, to bridge the gap that had formed between them. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to break through the wall he had erected around his heart. It was as if he was a million miles away, lost in a world of his own making. And Toru felt horrible for it.

His guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders, a constant companion that refused to be ignored. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was betraying Osaka, the girl who had stood by his side through thick and thin during all of this. She didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of his internal struggle, yet he couldn't deny the growing chasm that had formed between them.

Every moment spent with Osaka was tinged with a sense of guilt and remorse, a nagging reminder of the pain he was causing her. He could see the hurt in her eyes, the confusion and frustration that mirrored his own. And despite his best efforts to reassure her, to convince her that everything was okay, he knew deep down that their relationship was crumbling beneath the weight of his unresolved feelings.

But try as he might, Toru couldn't bring himself to end things with Osaka, couldn't find the words to shatter her heart into a million pieces. The thought of hurting her, of breaking her trust, filled him with a profound sense of shame and self-loathing. He had promised to be there for her, to love and cherish her with all his heart, and yet here he was, torn between two worlds, unable to give her the love and devotion she deserved.

And as the guilt gnawed at him, Toru couldn't help but wonder if he was doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Was he destined to hurt the people he cared about most, to leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake? The thought filled him with a profound sense of despair, a fear that he would never be able to escape the cycle of pain and regret that seemed to define his life.

Yet, despite his fear and uncertainty, Toru knew that he couldn't continue to live in limbo, caught between the past and the present. He needed to make a choice, to either let go of his feelings for you and move forward with Osaka, or risk everything for a chance at true happiness.

But amidst the darkness that threatened to consume him, there was a glimmer of hope, a flicker of light that refused to be extinguished. It was the memory of you, of the warmth of your smile and the kindness in your eyes. You were his anchor in a sea of uncertainty, the one constant in his ever-changing world.

Despite his best efforts to push you away, to bury his feelings beneath a facade of indifference, Toru couldn't help but be drawn back to you. It was as if an invisible force was pulling him towards you, a magnetic attraction that defied reason and logic. And as much as he tried to deny it, to convince himself that he could live without you, he knew deep down that he was fighting a losing battle.

With each passing day, his feelings for you grew stronger, more insistent, until they consumed his every thought and action. He found himself longing for the sound of your voice, the warmth of your touch, the comfort of your presence by his side. But it seemed like you were doing your best to avoid him at every turn, adding to his frustration and confusion.

No matter how hard he tried to close the growing divide between you, to repair the fractured bond that had once held you together, it felt like you were slipping further and further away. And as Toru grappled with the realization that he might be losing you for good, he couldn't help but feel a sense of desperation and despair creeping in.

For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he had pushed you away too far. And as he contemplated the daunting prospect of facing a future without you by his side, Toru knew that he would have to confront his demons head-on if he ever hoped to find the redemption he so desperately craved. And he needed to do something about it now before it actually is too late.

——

As Suguru reflected on the past few months, he couldn’t help but marvel at how swiftly his bond with you had transformed. What had begun as a casual friendship had bloomed into something far more profound, a connection that seemed to defy explanation.

He found himself irresistibly drawn to you, captivated by the melody of your laughter, the radiance of your smile, and the sparkle in your eyes that hinted at hidden depths. Each moment spent in your company felt like a stolen treasure, precious and fleeting yet infinitely valuable.

He absolutely cherished and loved the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you listened intently to his stories, hanging on to his every word as if it were the most important thing in the world. It was a feeling unlike anything he had ever experienced before, a sense of belonging and connection that filled him with joy and contentment. It was one of the main things about you that was unique compared to everyone else he’s known.

Of course, Suguru had always known there was something special about you. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, he felt a spark light up between you two. It was as if fate had brought you into his life, weaving your presence into the fabric of his very being.

In the past, he found himself often watching you from afar, admiring your grace, your kindness, and the way you lit up the room with just your smile. After that, it didn’t take too long before Suguru found himself falling head over heels for you, unable to shake the feeling that you were meant to be together.

However, Suguru kept his emotions carefully concealed, fearing that they would jeopardize the friendship he cherished so dearly. He had convinced himself that it was enough to simply be near you, to bask in the warmth of your presence without expecting anything more.

And despite his growing feelings for you, Suguru had always been aware of your connection with Toru. He had seen the way you looked at him, the spark of affection in your eyes whenever he was near. And knowing that you liked Toru, Suguru had chosen to keep his feelings to himself, burying them deep within his heart where they could never be discovered.

Before Toru shattered your heart with his confession about loving someone else, Suguru maintained a careful distance, knowing that being close to you would only intensify his own feelings of longing and heartache. He watched from afar as you navigated your feelings for Toru, silently suffering as he witnessed the love and admiration etched on your face whenever you spoke of Toru.

However, he wouldn’t just straight up ignore you. He could never do that to someone like you. Whenever you needed comforting, Suguru made a conscious effort to be there for you, offering a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on whenever you needed it. He knew that his own feelings had to take a backseat to your happiness, and he was willing to endure the agony of unrequited love if it meant easing your burden, even if just a little.

But when news of Toru's and your situation finally reached Suguru's ears, it was as if a floodgate had been opened, unleashing a torrent of emotions he had long kept buried. The sight of you, heartbroken and vulnerable, stirred something deep within him, igniting a fierce determination to protect you from further harm.

It was in that moment that Suguru made a silent vow to himself: to do whatever it took to help you heal, to be the rock you could lean on in your time of need. And as he took the initiative to reach out to you, offering his unwavering support and understanding, he couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the beginning of something more.

———

Suguru found himself unable to resist the urge to reach out to you. He knew that you had been pretty busy the past few days with work and all, but all he wanted to do was to see your face and hear your voice.

So, with a sense of determination burning in his chest, Suguru picked up his phone and sent you a message, inviting you to join him for a walk in the park. He knew that the tranquil beauty of nature had a way of soothing the soul, and he hoped that spending time together in such a serene setting would help distract you from your work.

As Suguru awaited your response, he felt a familiar tug of nerves fluttering in his chest. As he stood beneath the swaying branches of the park's trees, Suguru couldn't help but wonder how you would react to his invitation. Would you be intrigued by the idea of an impromptu outing, or would you see it as nothing more than a casual gesture between friends? Either way, he was determined to make the most of their time together, cherishing every moment spent in your company.

When your reply came, filled with warmth and gratitude, Suguru felt a surge of relief wash over him. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of eager anticipation as he prepared to meet you.

About 10 minutes had passed and not even a second later, Suguru read a message from you saying you were at the park. He texted you his exact location, showing you where he was.

When you arrived, Suguru was struck once again by just how breathtakingly beautiful you were, your smile lighting up the evening air like a beacon of hope. He couldn't help but feel a swell of pride as he watched you approach, your eyes sparkling with curiosity and excitement.

"Hey, you," he greeted you, his voice soft and warm as he reached out to take your hand in his. "I'm so glad you could make it."

As you fell into step beside him, Suguru felt a sense of peace settle over him, as if the world had suddenly slowed to a gentle rhythm just for the two of you. The park was bathed in the soft glow of twilight, the air alive with the sound of birdsong and the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

For a while, the two of you simply walked in companionable silence, content to lose yourselves in the beauty of the world around you. Though, it didn’t take long before you two decided to situate yourselves somewhere nice to relax.

As the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting long shadows across the park, Suguru and you found yourselves seated on a weathered wooden bench, bathed in the warm glow of the fading daylight. The air was filled with the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets, lending an air of tranquility to the bustling city around you.

"You know," Suguru began, his voice soft and gentle, "I've always loved coming to this park. It's like an oasis of calm in the middle of all this chaos."

You nodded in agreement, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, it's definitely one of my favorite places to escape to when life gets a bit overwhelming."

Suguru agreed, taking in every second.

For Suguru, every moment spent with you felt like a precious gift, a fleeting glimpse of paradise in an otherwise ordinary world. He couldn't help but be drawn to you, captivated by the gentle curve of your smile and the sparkle in your eyes. And as you sat side by side, the distance between you seemed to shrink until there was nothing left but the space you shared.

"I'm really glad you invited me to come here today," you said, your voice soft and sincere. "It's been a while since I've just sat and enjoyed the beauty of nature."

Suguru smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through his chest at your words. "I'm glad you came too. It's always better when you're here."

You sighed contentedly, leaning back against the bench and closing your eyes for a moment, relishing in the peace and quiet of the park. Suguru glanced at you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he saw the light outline your beautiful figure.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he continued to bask in your presence.

You nodded, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, it really is.” You finished, clueless to the fact that he was actually talking about you and not the scenery around you two.

For a while, the two of you sat in companionable silence, lost in your own thoughts as the world continued to spin around you. But eventually, Suguru broke the silence, his voice hesitant as he spoke.

“You know,” he began, his words slow and deliberate, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About life, and where I’m headed, and… well, everything, really.”

You turned to look at him, curiosity shining in your eyes. “Oh? And what kind of things have you been thinking about?”

Suguru shrugged, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks. “Oh, you know, just… stuff. Like, where I see myself in five years, and what I want out of life, and… yeah.”

You nodded, sensing that there was more to Suguru’s words than he was letting on. “It sounds like you’ve been doing some serious soul-searching.”

Suguru chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, you could say that. I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit lost lately, you know? Like I’m drifting aimlessly through life, without any real direction or purpose.”

You reached out and placed a comforting hand on Suguru’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I think a lot of people feel that way sometimes. Life can be so unpredictable, and it’s easy to feel like you’re just along for the ride.”

Suguru smiled and nodded at you, his eyes shimmering with love and admiration for you.

“Yeah, exactly. That was when I realized,” Suguru said, his voice tinged with a hint of self-deprecation, “that maybe it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Maybe it’s okay to just take things one day at a time and see where life takes me.”

As Suguru finished speaking, his words lingered in the air, carrying with them a sense of introspection and hope. You took a moment to absorb his sentiments, letting them sink in before offering your response.

"You’re right," you replied, nodding thoughtfully. "Life can be overwhelming when we try to plan every step of the way. Sometimes, it's about embracing the uncertainty and trusting that things will fall into place in their own time."

Suguru's eyes lit up with understanding, his smile widening at your words. "Exactly," he agreed, a sense of relief washing over him. "It's like...learning to dance in the rain instead of waiting for the storm to pass. Finding joy in the journey, even when the destination is unclear." He finished, chuckling to himself at his metaphor.

You couldn't help but smile at Suguru's metaphor, touched by the wisdom in his words. "I like that analogy," you admitted, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. "It's a reminder to appreciate the beauty in life's unexpected moments, to find happiness in the midst of chaos."

The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, the weight of Suguru’s and your words hanging in the air between you. But eventually, Suguru spoke again, his voice soft and vulnerable.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, too,” he admitted, his gaze flicking nervously to meet yours. “About our friendship, and how much it means to me.”

Your heart skipped a beat at Suguru’s words, a warmth spreading through your chest at the sincerity in his voice. “I feel the same way, Suguru. You mean a lot to me, too.”

Suguru smiled, a genuine smile that reached all the way to his eyes. “I’m glad to hear that. Because, honestly, I don’t know what I would do without you, Y/n. You’ve been such an important part of my life, and I don’t ever want to lose that.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached out and took Suguru’s hand in yours, squeezing it tightly. “You won’t, Suguru. I promise.”

There was a warmth in your gaze, a kindness in your smile, that made Suguru's heart swell with emotion. In that moment, he knew that he had found someone truly special, someone he could share his deepest thoughts and feelings with without fear of judgment or rejection.

As the air crackled with anticipation, you couldn't help but feel the intensity of the moment washing over you. Slowly leaning in closer to Suguru, the distance between you seemed to vanish, melting away in the warmth of your shared breath. His proximity sent a shiver of excitement coursing through you, each exhale drawing you nearer to him.

In that fleeting moment, the world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you suspended in time. Your lips hovered mere inches apart, the tantalizing promise of a kiss hanging between you like a delicate thread. The anticipation built to a fever pitch, your heart pounding in your chest as you teetered on the edge of something monumental.

Caught in the throes of desire, neither of you dared to move, the magnetic pull between you holding you captive in its grasp. The electricity in the air crackled with unrestrained passion, igniting a fire within you that burned brighter with each passing second.

In that suspended moment, it felt as though the entire universe had conspired to bring you together, binding you to each other in a dance as old as time itself. And as you stood on the precipice of possibility, you couldn't help but wonder what lay on the other side, yearning to bridge the final gap that separated you from Suguru's waiting lips.

”Y/n…” Suguru said, his voice barely above a whisper as he felt heat rise to his face from the closeness.

But just as the tension reached its peak, the sound of footsteps approaching shattered the spell, jolting you both back to reality. Startled, you pulled away from each other, turning to see Shoko and Hime emerging from the shadows with curious expressions on their faces.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shoko said with a mischievous grin, “but we couldn’t help but notice you two lost in your own little world over here.”

Hime nodded in agreement, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah, we thought we’d come over and see what all the fuss was about.”

Blushing furiously, you exchanged a sheepish glance with Suguru, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and amusement at being caught in such a vulnerable moment. As Shoko and Hime joined you, the four of you fell into easy conversation, the interruption quickly forgotten as laughter filled the air.

Though the moment had been interrupted, the connection between you and Suguru remained palpable, lingering like an echo in the air.

As the sun dipped below the horizon and the first stars began to twinkle in the evening sky, Suguru knew that there would be plenty of time for declarations of love and grand romantic gestures. For now, he was content to simply be in your presence, to bask in the warmth of your smile. His heart was still beating rapidly from the moment you two just shared not too long ago. Was it truly possible that you felt the same way about him as he did you? Or was all of that just simply due to the heat of the moment. The same question pondered in your own mind.

The both of you had no idea what the future held in store for the two of you, but one thing was certain: as long as you both had each other, you knew that everything would be okay…or at least you hope.

__________________

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girlboypersonthingy · 3 months

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omg i love your blog sm!! it’s been a while since ive been in the fandom and i didn’t think anyone wrote for vld anymore, ahhhh but i love the way you write!! you’re so so talented!! how do you think a love triangle sitch with keith and lance would play out? i love the both but UGHHHH THE DRAMA I LOVE IT😩😩

Oh my god thank you so much! I’m so flattered asfdafh 🥰🥹 I know the fandom is dead to most but not to all. I’m still here and voltron will always live on in my heart ❤️‍🔥 BRO THIS PROMPT??? PLZ ITS SO GOOD AAHHH ENJOY!

❤️Love Triangle💙

Okay first of all, these two would try to win you over IN COMPLETELY OPPOSITE WAYS.

Lance is, of course, over the top and very romantic and kind of cliche but so considerate and thoughtful and sweet.

Keith will be more nonchalant and mysterious, trying to use his skills and talents to impress you. He’s the type to slowly win you over by being very genuine and honest.

It started when Lance threw a pick up line your way and not only was the line terrible…but you actually laughed at it. It brought some pink to your cheeks as well. They both noticed that.

Lance was very smug about the fact that he made you giggle and blush.

Keith was a little annoyed at first, thinking Lance was just being his usual obnoxious self. So Keith just kept trying to make moves on you in his own way.

One day, Lance walked into the training room to see you and Keith sitting beside each other on the floor, breathing heavily as if you’d just decided to take a break. He couldn’t really hear what Keith was saying but you looked very focused, very into the conversation and you two were sitting just a little bit too close for his liking.

Lance didn’t like the eyes you were making at the red paladin

But Keith sure did. He was so excited to be sitting so close to you.

Then it’s like the spider man meme of them pointing at each other like 😧👉🏻 👈🏻😮

“Wait! You like (Y/N)? No no no, you can’t! I like (Y/N)!”

“Well I liked them first!”

“No! No! Dibs!”

“Really? Dibs?” *eye roll*

For the next week, they’re both acting like goofballs around you.

It’s kind of hilarious and very entertaining for you because…you notice that they start adopting each other’s ways of flirting and dropping hints. They do a little swap.

It’s like they think the other person has a better chance with you so they try to switch it up and copy each other. Lance thinks Keith’s ‘mysterious bad boy’ persona is something you’re into. Keith thinks you find happiness in all the silly, goofy things Lance does. So they both try to switch it up in hopes of making you fall for them. Does that make sense?

Imagine Keith trying to use a pick up line on you and failing miserably. He’s probably sweating through his shirt and his mouth is dry bc he’s so close to you, he can smell your shampoo. He’d end up stuttering and then getting really pissed at himself for looking dumb in front of you. May go back to his room and pout if he felt things didn’t go well.

Now imagine Lance trying to be all soft spoken and mysterious, trying to act cool. Lance trying not to talk too much is the equivalent of him holding his breath. It’s only a matter of time before he breaks character and says some dumb, cheesy shit that has you rolling your eyes. He awkwardly shuffles away to his room and also pouts bc he feels like he’s just loud and annoying.

The boys got into a yelling match about it once. The pot just boiled over and all you could do was watch.

That was their very shitty, joint confession of their feelings for you- them screaming about who likes you more, who liked you first, who you’re more compatible with, ect ect blah blah blah

All right in front of you

And all the while, the whole team is so confused

Cue Allura and Hunk stepping in between them because both their faces are turning red from anger and jealousy.

Everyone just looks at Shiro like 👀

Shiro, the dad of the group: 🙄😤 “fine…”

Shiro sits them both down for a long chat and by the end of it, the boys have come to terms with the fact that they both like you and not only is it your choice who you’d want to be with, but there’s a lot of other things to be worried about rn. They shouldn’t, and they won’t, pressure you.

Buuttttt…they do keep up some of the same things they like to do with you.

Keith still trains with you often (and he really enjoys helping you with your stance/posture bc he gets to be touchy✨)

Lance still invites you into his room to play video games (and he always seems out of breath when you sit so close to him, your arm touching his)

They try their best to control their temper around you and they try not to be around when you’re with the other person. They don’t need to see you being all close and personal with someone who isn’t them. :,(

The boys just continue to be their normal selves with you. They figure you should get to know them, the real them, before you make any decisions.

Yes, they both like you.

Yes. They’re both very competitive and very jealous.

But they respect each other and they respect you.

And we are in the middle of an intergalactic war right now, this is not a real priority.

They’ll give you some time and a pace to think about it.

Now comment on this post and tell me who you’d choose 😈 I love them both so so much but Lance is my soulmate for sure

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron x reader #voltron x you #vld #keith x reader #vld keith #keith vld #lance x reader #lance mcclain x reader #lance vld #voltron lance #vld lance #lance voltron #keith voltron #voltron keith #lance mcclain #keith kogane #keith kogane x reader

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oosleepyfaeoo · 1 year

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How could you be so blind? - Part IV

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Blind!Reader

Summary: Aemond sees you as the most beautiful woman in the world but you can't see that. (sorry I suck at summaries.)

Warnings: a LOT of fluff, Aemond being a jealous baby, reader is a female

Words: 1, 730

A/n: English is not my first language.

Part 3

“Your... friend is intriguing,” Cregan says while petting Knight, his grey eyes fixed on Aemond’s back as he goes to grab some snacks from the coffee shop in the park.

You hum, still feeling a little embarrassed by how Aemond has been acting around you two.

It’s been 3 weeks since you began your training with Cregan. It has been going very well, Cregan said you and Knight are improving rather quickly. But after the first few classes, a new familiar companion joins you.

Aemond is always by your side during your training, constantly hovering over you. Stealing touches from you and praising you whenever you and Knight do a command well on the first try.

At first, you were startled by his constant visits, confused by his sudden interest. But it would be a lie if you said you didn’t like his behavior. It’s like old times but... with something more.

“Yeah...” You turn to Cregan with an apologetic smile. “Was he glaring at you again?” You asked.

Cregan laughed and put his large hand on your shoulder. “Yes, but it’s fun watching him almost pop a vein from how hard he's trying not to murder me.”

You laugh with him and shake your head. “If only he knew the truth.”

A week ago, Cregan invited you to dinner at his house and that night you learned Cregan was bi. You met his partner, Jahaerys Targaryen, Aemond’s nephew. It’s a little weird since Jahaerys and Aemond are almost the same age but Jace told you that he views Aemond like a cousin.

The two aren’t close since Aemond’s accident was partially provoked by Jace’s little brother, Lucerys. They haven’t seen each other or talked since the accident.

“You know... He’s completely in love with you, Y/n.” Your cheeks darkened as you hear Cregan words.

You shake your head and pet Knight, smiling softly when you cuddle his massive head on your belly. “It’s your imagination, Cregan.”

Cregan chuckles and wraps his strong arm around your shoulders. “I know you are blind but you can tell by the way he’s always touching you, or how worried he gets when you go get something at the coffee shop alone.”

You laugh at his silly joke and rest your head on his shoulder. “He has a girlfriend, Cregan.” You sigh sadly.

“The look he gives you is not from someone with a girlfriend.” He hums, tightening his arm around you. “Quickly! Laugh like I said something funny!”

You frown at his words. “What?”

“Just do it!” He murmurs softly against your ear, making you shiver a little.

A loud, soft laugh fell from your lips as Aemond makes his way towards you two. He frowns, noticing Cregan's arms around while you were laughing at some stupid shit Cregan said.

Aemond could feel his blood boil, wanting nothing more than go there and punch Cregan in the face and tell him to stay away from you.

Calm down, Aemond.

He takes a deep breath and pulls his phone from his pocket and texts Helaena.

Sighing, Aemond puts a smirk on his lips and walks to you. “Here you go.” He gives you your coffee and shoots a glare at Cregan. “Are you finished with your class?”

Cregan gives him a smirk and pulls away from you. “Yes... we are finished here.” He says while looking down at you with an enamored gaze. “I was just saying how beautiful Y/n looks today.”

You let out a sweet giggle and softly punch Cregan’s arm. “Oh stop it.” Your cheeks are covered by a soft blush.

Aemond huffs and grabs your hand, entwining his fingers with yours. “Well, Y/n and I need to get going. Thanks for the class.”

You frown deeply as Aemond pulls her and Knight towards his car. You throw a quick goodbye to Cregan and let him help you sit in his car, hearing him saying to Knight to hop on in the back.

Aemond sits in the driver's seat and turns the car on.

“Huh... Where are we going?” You asked after a while, feeling a little anxious.

Aemond rests his hand on your thigh, making you gasp in surprise. “You will see.” You gave him a look. “I-I... I mean it’s a surprise! Fuck... You know what I mean.”

You laugh and nodded, enjoying watching him get so embarrassed. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” You reassure him. “At least you don’t have to put on a blindfold or tell me to not peek.”

That made him let out a booming laugh which made you join him. The trip took maybe an hour or so, which made you think that you are going out of the city.

When Aemond finally parked, he got out quickly to open your door and help you out of the car. An exciting smile forms on your lips when you hear the sound of waves and the faint smell of the ocean.

“Are we on the beach?” You asked.

Aemond hums and let Knight out of the car. “Maybe instead of a blindfold, I can plug in your nose and ears.” You gave him a glare which made him chuckle. “C’mon, let’s go.”

He wraps his hand around yours and pulls you with him, carefully helping you down the stairs. You took your shoes off when you got down, feeling the soft sand on your feet. Knight stood loyally beside you, his gaze always on both of you.

You pet his head and take his leash off. “Go play, Knight. You deserve it.” You giggle when you hear him start running around, clearly happy to be on the beach.

“Cregan was right.” Aemond’s voice made you turn to him. “You’re beautiful.”

You could feel your face heat up, knowing that you must be red like a tomato. “Thank you.” You murmur, squeezing his hand gently.

He guides you towards where he has his surprise. You gasp when you feel a soft material on your feet as Aemond helps you take to sit on the towel.

“Is this a picnic?!” You asked, grinning up at him.

Aemond hums and sits beside you, his shoulder touching yours. “Surprise!” He says while popping open a bottle of wine.

You take a deep breath, smelling cheese, fresh fruits, and other foods. You accept the glass of wine that he gives you and take a small sip.

Both of you stay in silence for a while, enjoying the sound of the waves and Knight playing in the background.

“Aemond... What are we?” You asked while nursing your wine.

You have been asking that question since he starts spending all his free time with you, accompanying you to your training, and spending most of the evenings with you. He was acting like he was your boyfriend and that made you confused since he has a girlfriend.

Aemond pushes a lock of your hair behind your ear, his hand resting on your jaw. “We are whatever you want, Darling.” He says softly. “But let me tell you that I want more than just friends.”

You frown and look down at your wine, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “What about Alys?” You asked.

“She’s out of the picture, Y/n.” He moves his hand to your chin and lifts your head, making you look at him. “She was never my girlfriend. I only want you.”

A tear breaks free and falls down your cheek. “B-But she said you were together... that you were sleeping together.” Your voice was so small, it breaks Aemond’s heart seeing you this sad and vulnerable. “You went with her to the party...”

Aemond cups your face with both of his hands, his thumbs cleaning the tears away. “I didn’t invite her!” He says. “ She got in because Aegon was an idiot and put her on the guest list. I intended to go alone since you said no.”

He rests his head against yours, breathing deeply in your air. “I don’t want anyone else that isn’t you, Y/n.” He rubs his nose against yours. “I’m completely crazy about you... Since the day I met you at Helaena’s party, I knew I was a goner when I saw you alone by the widow with your beautiful grey dress.”

“What I had with Alys I thought it was love but I was wrong.” He sighs, his eye focus on yours. “She only wanted to use me and it took me 2 years to understand that... It took me to meet you to see how wrong I was.”

He places a small kiss in the corner of your mouth, making you gasp. “Please... Be mine...Let me be yours.” A small whimper fell from your lips, not believing what you are hearing. “B-But if you want to be with Cregan... I will accept that and will leave you alone.”

A small giggle fell from your lips as more tears collapse down your eyes. “You idiot... I don’t want Cregan.” You say

Aemond smiles shyly, feeling relieved by your words.

“I-I want you... always have.” You whisper softly. “Besides, Cregan has a boyfriend.” you giggle, hearing Aemond groan from embarrassment.

“He was messing with me, wasn’t he?” You nod with a smirk on your lips.

“Oh, he was having the time of his life while messing with you.” Aemond groans and rests his head on your shoulder, leaving a small kiss on your neck.

You shiver as you feel his lips moving up, in search of yours. Cupping his jaw gently, you crash your lips against his. Hearing him moaning at the contact of your soft skin against his.

He bites your lower lip, making you gulp in surprise. He takes the opportunity to push his warm tongue into your wet cavern, drinking greedily your moans. Your head feels dizzy from the lack of oxygen but you didn’t want to pull apart, wrapping your arms around his neck, your hands grabbing his soft long silver locks.

Finally, when both of you couldn’t breathe anymore, pull apart. Breathing heavily, you smile and rest your forehead against his.

“My stupid heart.” You whisper. “Only beats for you.”

The next chapter is the last! I hope you guys are liking this series so far!

Tag list: @iiamthehybrid @cryptid-l0ver @papichulo120627 @thewintergoddess @bellameshipper @sweet-sunflower64 @bbyaemond @zenka69 @immyowndefender @dc-marvel-girl96 @deltamoon666 @uniquecroissant @melsunshine @sugarrush-blush @pineapplechuncks @heirofdemetra @sarcasticsweetlara @malynn @yentroucnagol @puffycreamcakes @kravitzwhore @padfooteyes @glame @tssf-imagines @fangirlninja67 @dahlias-and-marigolds @it-is-getting-better @mimischaos @m-indkiller @parkchaeyoung1997 @azaleapotterblack @danielle-leah1997 @bellaisasleep @rorawinters @yearninginpages @yentroucnagol @allyly @hanula18 @dopejellyfishfury @snh96 @itsabby15 @starkjedi @kyla44 @leef-leech @iloveallmyboys @aemondswifeisme @powellssaturn @judgementdayfan1 @mariamxdxd1212 @seamonkie

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halucynator · 5 months

Text

False Fronts IV

part 4 of 4

fluff version.

hii omg i finally did this im so happy with this there's an angst version as well bc who doesnt like some good ol' angst from time to time

also the other version was released early bc im stupid so ty to @berryzxx for reminding me (i just want a reason to tag you)

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

warnings:fluffff arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing

summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.

angst is hereeee

reblogs with tags are always appreciated mwah

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: angst

The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.

"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.

He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"

"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."

Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."

"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."

He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."

"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"

"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."

"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."

Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"

"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.

Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"

His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."

"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.

"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."

His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.

"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.

"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"

The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.

Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.

Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.

The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.

With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.

Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.

Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.

Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:

Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.

- Jess

Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.

Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.

With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.

After catching a glimpse of the note and feeling a surge of mixed emotions, you found yourself actively avoiding Theo. Days turned into a tense cycle of dodging encounters and deflecting questions, leaving Theo increasingly perplexed by your sudden distance.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Theo finally confronted you, his tone a blend of confusion and concern.

Your gaze wavered, torn between the urge to explain and the fear of facing the truth. "I just need some space," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, evading the heart of the matter.

Theo's expression shifted from confusion to hurt, his eyes clouded with the weight of your avoidance. "Did i do something wrong?" he pressed gently, hoping for a glimmer of understanding.

You hesitated, unsure how to voice the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I don't know," you muttered, the words falling between you like an insurmountable barrier.

The tension between you was palpable, an unspoken rift widening with every passing moment of silence. The distance between you grew, leaving both of you stranded in a sea of unanswered questions and unspoken feelings.

Theo sensed your unease. "Hey, something's been off. What's going on?" he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.

"Well..." you hesitated, before showing him the note, unaware that he didn't know about it. "She sent you that note?" Theo's voice edged with surprise and confusion.

"What! No," you replied hastily, caught off guard by his assumption, unaware he didn't have any knowledge of the note's existence.

Theo's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "I'm lost. What's happening?" he asked, completely unaware of the note you were holding, his confusion evident in his expression.

"You're being accused of cheating on me with Jess, but now I think you're being framed," you explained, your voice tinged with concern as you showed him the note.

"What? I would never! You know that!" Theo's words spilled out, shock and disbelief evident in his tone and expression.

His vehement denial resonated with the sincerity you knew so well, and a wave of relief washed over you. You knew him, knew his values, and believed in his loyalty.

"I love you, I'd never do anything to hurt you," he continued, desperation and honesty lacing his words as he took his face in his hands turning it to face him.

His earnest declaration struck a chord within you, dispelling some of the doubts that had clouded your mind. You realized that amidst the chaos and confusion, trusting in your bond with Theo was paramount.

"Yeah, I-I'm sorry." you stammered, your voice filled with a mix of emotions, as you finally let go of the lingering doubts.

Theo's eyes softened with understanding, a gentle smile forming on his lips. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, enveloping you in a reassuring embrace. In that moment, the unspoken affection bloomed, filling the air with an undeniable warmth.

With a rush of emotions, you met halfway, your lips gently pressing against his in a tender and heartfelt kiss.

"I love you too" you whispered as he pulled you in again for a kiss.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the angsty ver here if you'd like! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:

masterlist

reader's choice (mattheo x reader)

reader's choice (theodore x reader)

i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea

taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams

if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!

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ffsg0jo · 1 month

Note

I loved your Ramadan works with the JJK characters. It's so nice to see another muslimah who writes for JJK :)). I am not sure if you are still actively posting, but would you consider writing a piece with the cast's reaction to the hijab and abaya? JazakAllah!

jjk characters with a muslim/hijabi reader [gojo edition]

gojo x reader [platonic or romantic it's open to interpretation]

w/c: 955 words

a/n: i got so carried away writing gojo's i realised if i added more characters, it'd be an incredibly long post. so i took them out and i'm gonna post them over the next couple weeks <33 so far i have megumi, nanami, itadori and nobara lmk if you want anymore characters :)) also guys pls feel free to send requests/suggestions :))

also anon you're the sweetest person every thank you so so much you've single handedly given me motivation to keep writing and ive got more works coming out. i hope you're having an amazing day inshaAllah bestie 💗

Gojo definitely thinks you’re doing a cosplay of some sort. It’s not uncommon in certain parts of Tokyo, so it’s safe to assume so most of the time. Even he’s been mistaken for Kakashi cosplays a lot of the time, with his black get-up and blindfold.

But then he sees you wearing different colour hijabs and abayas, and sometimes even a cute lil jilbabs and it confuses him. Suddenly, the thought occurs to him that maybe you’re not in a 24/7 cosplay, like him, and actually just dress covered head to toe.

As soon as he reaches that epiphany you best believe he pesters you and badgers you for answers. “y/n are you cold? is that why you’re always dressed like that?”

At first, you think it’s funny to give him nonsensical answers because he keeps saying stupid things, but you realise he's being deadly serious. plus, he gets increasingly bothersome, so you eventually get annoyed from all his questioning and just tell him about how you’re a Muslim and observe hijab.

He actually takes it quite seriously and apologises for lowkey making fun of your shitty cosplay in his head. He’s ignorant, not prejudiced, so he defo takes it back and, for once, takes accountability and apologises for his actions. He’s personally not a believer, but he respects it.

Once, you complained about how expensive abayas were becoming and how you just wished someone would just buy you a whole wardrobe of them to all the students, and he happened to overhear.

Literally days later he’s at your door with multiple bags full of abayas and hijabs and all sorts of modest clothing. You’re completely shick shack shook and don’t know what to say. You defo cry and try to hide it with your headscarf.

He barges into your room (after making sure you’re fully covered, he's learnt from that mistake) and spends the next 5 or so hours showcasing each item and telling you where in the world he got it from, the materials and everything.

He has really good taste in colours and styles and knows what would look good on you. You’re literally set for life. Absolutely refuses to let you pay him back. Every single time you mention money, he shuts you down and changes the topic entirely.

In summer he’s shocked you look relatively calm and okay. He’s literally boiling his bum off with a tank top (I’m laughing at imagining Gojo in a white tank top like an immigrant dad lmaoo) and you’re looking as fresh as daisies with everything covered. He asks how you're not melting and you’re waffling to him about airflow and how it’s actually quite breezy, and you’re not wearing anything underneath, so it’s fine, and he stops breathing and short circuits.

He looks at you with his eyes wide, and his sun reddened face goes a shade darker. "You’re not wearing anything underneath?" He takes it the completely wrong way, and you realise what it sounds like, and you’re both a bumbling mess.

It's the first time anyone’s ever seen Gojo that flustered.

Also some quickfire headcanons:

He genuinely thought you slept and showered with your hijab on, so he burst into your room one day and you screamed and he immediately warped somewhere else when he saw you wearing pyjamas (he didn’t see anything above your clothed knees, he panicked and left so quickly plus he was scared to look).

Gets you cute little clips to put on your hijab. He thinks they’re pretty.

Is absolutely devasted you can’t have mochi and some other desserts because they have pork gelatine in them and he always tries to find vegan alternatives.

Purposefully steps on your abaya/dress when it's flowing and he's behind you to annoy you.

Has extra pins pinned onto his uniform for you just in case you need them.

This is a secret he’ll take to his grave, but he actually tried to make you one of his favourite desserts you couldn’t eat (he threatened the bakery for the recipe), but it went so disastrously wrong he gave up and didnt want to face the embarrassment.

I’m talking melted plastic in the oven, small kitchen fire, eyebrows singed, and potential carbon monoxide poisoning bad.

You wore this specific shade of light blue once with a cream khimar, and for some reason, he was absolutely obsessed with that outfit. It wasn't until Nobara pointed out that your outfit matched Gojo's colour scheme did he finally realise why <33

The abaya sizing really confused him and he was so baffled as to what the numbers meant. Wdym size 52 what does that even measure 😭😭

He was faffing about for 2 hours before he realised he could've just googled it, and he felt absolutely stupid about it.

Whenever he sees a bit of your hair accidentally peeking out he covers his eyes and screams at you to "cover yourself woman goddammit". He's so dramatic honestly.

Thinks it’s hilarious seeing you run in your abaya. He thinks its the funniest thing in the world.

Once (he's lying defo more than once) he was zoned out while watching you and his heart started beating faster when he realised how beautiful you are with your long dress blowing in the breeze and your hijab lightly fluttering. You looked ethereal. He didn't know what to think, and he pushed his feelings back down. Deep deep down.

He doesn't need unnecessary feelings complicating things, but for some reason, his heart still yearns for you.

He also makes terrorist jokes about you to you. I will not explain that one, but he 100% does.

#🌻.sunspell #🌻.nonny<33 #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu gojo satoru #jjk gojo satoru #jjk satoru gojo #muslim reader #gojo x muslim reader

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iiseult · 7 days

Text

HIGH NOON SUNLIGHT: King Baldwin IV x reader (part 1)

CWs → fluff, angst, historical inaccuracies, slow burn, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, eventual smut (once reader and baldwin are both over 18), leprosy lol, time-period accurate sexism (but hopefully not much cause I ain’t writin allat), arranged marriage, the inevitable misery that this man’s tragic existence brings me, baldwin is originally way more in love than reader is, but don’t worry, you’ll come around!

Wordcount: 3.4k

Note: I can’t be bothered to do any real historical research, so this is surely rife with inaccuracies! Please let me know if there’s something about it that you know that I don’t know that I should know. Get it? Greatly appreciated!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

The first time you laid eyes on the King of Jerusalem, he temporarily blinded you. So strong was the high afternoon sunlight that reflected off his silver mask, so pure was the white color of his robes, trimmed in gold. The sight of him in that moment burned itself into your memory forever.

The King’s horse, with a coat just as white as the rest of his majesty’s garments, came to a halt before you, whinnying and kicking up a cloud of dust as his gloved hands pulled back on the reins. You were in his way, and yet you couldn’t move. All you could do was stare up at the one part of him that was visible– his cloudy blue eyes, half-lidded and rimmed in red– and they were focused on you. Though it was hard to tell, it seemed to you his expression must have been soft, almost curious, so you held his gaze for as long as he would permit it. His lashes were blonde and soft, so much so that you were envious of the cheek that must have felt them gently brush against it whenever he blinked. Even if that cheek was hidden behind a mask.

Your father was a wealthy lord, and your mother a distinguished lady, making you no stranger to nobility and the powerful auras that often surrounded them, but his was different. Whereas the gaze of any other King would make you instinctually bow, his made your body freeze and your blood run hot. His was like the light of the sun. It was something you wished to bask in, to savor. Though you had never seen him before, you knew this man was your king. Finally, your body responded to this intrinsic fact and you bowed deeply, your cheeks burning red as a rush of self-hatred overtook you. Only three seconds into finally meeting him, and you were already letting his powerful aura wipe away all that bitter disdain you’d been working on so diligently throughout the past week.

“You may rise,” he uttered, his voice soft and smooth, like the feeling of woven silk against your fingertips. It was higher than you had imagined, a true tenor. Reluctantly, you straightened, doing everything in your power to avoid meeting his eyes again, for that would be improper, and you didn’t want to risk exposing him to the hideous anger that was currently boiling in your heart. Yet. He studied you for a moment, taking in your fine clothing and well-maintained hair, which flowed freely down your back, and came to the conclusion that you must be a lady. Perhaps the one he had been reluctant to meet all week since he had learned of her family’s arrival.

“My lady,” he began, tilting his head to the side, “Why are you alone?”

You broke your oath to yourself and looked back up to him, caught a bit off-guard by his question. Truthfully, you were surprised he was speaking to you at all, when he could have easily ridden his horse away and locked himself in his room, as had been his habit since your arrival. You bit back a dry chuckle and fought to maintain your respectful demeanor. In all honesty, it absolutely enraged you that he hadn’t made any effort to meet you or your family. Although you had been told by everyone that he was a good man and an even better king, you wanted to see that for yourself, and so far he was failing to meet your remarkably low expectations.

“I asked my maid to stay behind while I enjoyed a walk in your gardens,” you replied hesitantly. But why does it matter?

He was silent. You shifted uncomfortably.

“They are most beautiful, Your Majesty,” you added, hoping it was only you that felt the mounting tension.

“What is your name?” he asked softly.

“Y/N.”

He hummed quietly, a sound that made your stomach flip, though you weren’t sure if it was a good or bad feeling.

“So you are lady Y/N,” he stated, “and it is you who are to be my betrothed.”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

That night, the King joined you and your family for dinner for the first time all week. His regent, count Raymond III of Tripoli, was shocked that he had finally agreed to leave his solitary games of chess in his bedroom.

“What, if you don’t mind me asking, Your Majesty, caused such a sudden change of heart? Just this morning you were averse to the idea of taking a meal with our guests,” Raymond asked as he and the young king slowly made their way to the great hall. The boy simply replied,

“I met her.”

King Baldwin knew he was running out of time. Day by day he could feel his body being eaten away by his affliction. How nice it would be to have a wife, someone to share his burden and rule alongside him until his time on this earth was at its end. But he never imagined he’d ever find a woman willing to throw her life away like that, or a family willing to condemn their daughter to such a fate. When Raymond told him of your noble family’s offer, he accepted, but not for the selfish reason of personal desire. No, he did so to ensure that Jerusalem would still have a chance at prospering after his passing. It needed to be done for the sake of the people.

After your marriage ceremony, Baldwin planned on allowing his queen to live her life as she pleased, free of any obligation to spend time with him. He would not disturb her or expect affection from her. He knew she wouldn’t want anything to do with him. As far as he was concerned, you’d never be in the same room again, and that was just fine. But he couldn’t completely suppress every one of his selfish desires. Just once, he wanted to let his imagination go, to pretend he could love someone, and that she could love him back. Seeing you for the first time was what made up his mind. Something tender stirred in his heart when he heard you utter your own name, and he decided that just a few hours with you would have to be enough to tide him over for the rest of his life. So he went to dinner.

Everyone stood and bowed as he entered the room. He took his seat at the head of the table and greeted each of his guests kindly. He permitted them to begin their meal, though he wouldn’t be participating. Normally, he had no trouble removing his mask in front of people at mealtimes, but your presence gave him pause. Surely you’d be repulsed, and it would be over before it even began. So he opted out of eating, instead choosing to watch you.

You felt his eyes before you saw them. That same warm feeling washed over you, and it wasn’t due to the wine you were drinking. You looked up and, unsurprisingly, his masked face was tilted in your direction. You fought the instinct to look away and instead held his eye contact, furrowing your brows a bit. Why now was he making an appearance after days of neglect? How were you supposed to react to that? And what gave him the nerve?

Next to you, your mother cleared her throat and whispered your name in a scolding tone. You shook yourself out of your inner monologue and uncreased your brow, which had unintentionally morphed into something closer to a scowl as your thoughts ran away from you. You smiled sheepishly at your mother, who did not look pleased, but she said nothing more about the matter. Next time you managed to steal a glance at the king, he was looking down at his empty plate. Good, you thought, Maybe he’s repenting for ignoring me all week.

When your parents had informed you of the marriage they had arranged between you and the king of Jerusalem, you weren’t exactly thrilled. Being a queen sounded like a big responsibility– one you weren’t sure you even wanted. Yes, it came with a lot of upsides, like the lush palace you’d be living in and the loyal servants that would tend to your every whim, but it also came with the burden of raising a family and making important decisions for your subjects. Not to mention the totally random man you’d suddenly be sharing the rest of your life with. As far as you were concerned, your future relationship with King Baldwin was just a chore; something that was certainly necessary, but not guaranteed to be enjoyable. If you were lucky, the two of you would learn to get along, just as your own parents had, and a few years down the line you’d pop out a couple kids and then wait around to die.

The rest of dinner was excruciating. You couldn’t relax, and your mother was absolutely insufferable, constantly checking to make sure you were sitting up straight and minding your manners. Your father was engaged in a riveting conversation with count Raymond, saving you from further scrutiny. By the end of the meal, you were about ready to retire to bed and stare at the ceiling for a few hours, but god had other plans for you, it seemed.

“Y/N, you’ll be joining the king for a game of chess in the library while your mother and I discuss legal matters with the count. We will come to collect you when we’re finished,” your father ordered, giving you a stern look that essentially told you not to do anything that might jeopardize your future– whatever that implied. You nodded demurely, biting back a scream of frustration. And just like that, he was behind you.

You felt his presence before he even said anything. A gentle heat emanated from his body, and a warm, slightly earthy smell wafted off him, like herbs and spices.

“Lady Y/N, I will show you to the library. Please follow me,” he said, his voice vibrating in his chest, only mere inches away from your back. You shivered and turned to face him, but his eyes were unreadable, and then he was walking away from you. Left with no other option, you followed swiftly, maintaining a safe distance. He led you through the winding, echoing stone hallways of his palace, dimly lit by candles and torches, since the sun had set hours ago. You had to admit, it was a beautiful place, and you wouldn’t mind getting used to it, even if that did mean you had to spend the odd hour with your soon-to-be husband. Soon, you arrived in front of a large, heavy oak door, which he pushed open with ease.

“After you,” he murmured, holding it open for you. Not wanting to keep him waiting, you shuffled into the room, immediately gawking at the towering ceilings and shelves upon shelves of books. There was a spiral staircase on each side of the room that led to a second floor balcony, which was visible through the railing encasing it. In the middle of the room sat a handsome wooden table with a chess board on it, the pieces already set up for a game. You always did like chess, but your two younger brothers constantly hogged the board and didn’t let you play, so you were forced to observe. It was rare that you actually got to play.

“Have a seat, lady Y/N. You can take white,” the king said, pulling out the chair for you. Reluctantly, you sat down, raising an eyebrow and wondering why all the chivalry all of the sudden. It was a little suspicious, but you couldn't help but approve. He kept his gloved hand on the back of the chair until you were comfortable, and then helped you scoot closer to the table. You turned your head and looked up at him, and you noticed the subtle crinkle of his eyes and the softness dancing behind them.

He was smiling.

The corner of your lip quirked up to mirror him– you couldn’t help it, though you had no idea why. And just like that, the sound of blood rushing in your head ceased, and a sense of quiet serenity fell over the room. The defenses you had put up to quell your nerves no longer seemed necessary. The contempt in your heart was ebbing away every moment you spent in his presence. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding before, and made your first move.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

The chess game was abysmal. It’s not that you weren’t able to hold your own, because you certainly were, but it wasn’t nearly as easy as you had hoped. Whenever you played with your younger brothers, they’d be wiped in about ten minutes. You thought that’s just how the game was; short and sweet. But already thirty minutes had passed and a winner was just beginning to emerge, and regrettably, it wasn’t you. You scowled as King Baldwin took your last rook.

As you played, he intermittently broke the silence to ask you questions about yourself. At first it was mundane things, like what you enjoyed doing or what your favorite meal was, but it gradually became personal. You discussed your family, fond childhood memories, and your fears. Sometimes he would even throw you a bone and answer one of the questions himself, clearing away the shroud of mystery that surrounded him little by little.

“May I speak freely, my King?” you asked tentatively, ignoring the game for a moment to let him know you were about to get serious. He folded his hands on the edge of the table and leaned back in his chair, studying you carefully.

“You may, although I never wish you to speak conservatively in my presence.”

You smiled thinly, choosing your next words very carefully so as not to overstep boundaries.

“Why do you wear a mask?”

The king bristled at your question, sucking in a sharp breath, and a wave of regret washed over you. But before you could take it back, he replied,

“So nobody has to see it.”

You didn’t know what to say. His answer wasn’t really much of an answer, and it certainly wasn’t what you were expecting, but it sent a pang of pain through your heart nonetheless. Why wouldn’t he want people to see his face, even in the comfort of his own castle?

He seemed to register your confusion, and a chill ran down his spine. Did you really not know, or were you playing a cruel joke? The more he thought about it, the more possible it seemed that Raymond hadn’t told your parents the full truth in order to garner their approval. Just the thought of it made him sick to his stomach, for you would certainly leave him the moment you found out. He knew it was too good to be true.

“My lady…are you not aware of my… condition?” he asked quietly, looking down so he wouldn’t have to see your disappointment. Your heart sank, and that rushing sound in your ears returned.

‘Condition…?” you trailed off, swallowing thickly. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“Yes. I thought you knew… your parents…I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice strained. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“My lady, I… am a leper. My condition has caused my nerves to degrade slowly, and I am already losing sensation in my right hand. My skin is covered in hideous sores, especially my face. I wear the mask… to spare you.”

You stared. The room was spinning, not from shock, but rather from the sheer anger you felt toward your parents at that moment. They had tricked you. They had played a dirty, dirty trick and married you off, just so they could improve their own social standing, and they had done it all with absolutely no regard for your own wishes. No regard for the rest of your life, even. You slammed your fist on the table, the reverberations knocking over a few chess pieces and causing Baldwin to jump in his seat. He wasn’t expecting you to take the news well, but this was unprecedented. You seethed silently.

Well, that’s just fine, you thought, Because once we’re married, I’ll be the queen of Jerusalem… and the queen is NOT accepting visitors. No exceptions.

Baldwin stayed silent, his head bowed in resignation. He understood how you felt. It was a cruel situation indeed, and he wished he could go back and decline the arrangement, if only to spare you the unimaginable rage that spilled out of your gaze, which was trained intently on some unknowable spot in the distance. You stood abruptly, knocking your chair over as it hit the back of your legs, and he winced at the sound. But to his complete and utter surprise, you didn’t storm out of the room.

Instead, you stormed directly towards him.

Panicking, he rose from his chair, assuming a fortified stance in case you decided to get violent. He wasn’t too worried since he towered over you at an impressive six feet and four inches tall, but he certainly wasn’t looking forward to it, either.

Instead of striking him, you thrust your hand out and grabbed his gloved one, clasping it firmly. He could feel you shaking, presumably with rage.

“Well, King Baldwin,” you began, voice laced with venom, “let me see your face.”

His pretty blue eyes widened, and he didn’t stop you as you reached up and placed a hand on his silver-plated cheek. If you wanted to see, it no longer made a difference to him, since there was no saving the situation anymore. You might as well lay eyes upon the man you had almost married.

He slowly pulled off his hood, revealing a head of silky blond curls that tumbled down to his shoulders, and reached behind his head, untying the threads that held the mask to his face. You felt it give under your touch and removed your hand, letting it fall away and clatter to the floor. Finally, you beheld your king.

“My lord, you’re…” you trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words. Your eyes were wide, and he could see himself in your reflection. His pale skin, mottled with patches of red and pink, his lips, cracked and splitting at the corners, and his own sad blue eyes, one slightly clouded. The same face he saw every morning and every night.

“I know. I can put the mask back on, if you wish. But really, you do get used to it-”

You cut him off by reaching up and gently taking a lock of his curly hair between your fingers, tucking it smoothly behind his ear. He couldn’t help the blush that spread across his face; he had never been this close to a woman before, save for his mother and sister, and they rarely ever dared to touch him. Your gaze was so intense that he almost wanted to look away, but there was something supernatural stopping him from going through with it. And then, you spoke.

“I cannot wait to marry you.”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Note: I will add links to the other parts once I post them and idk when that's happening so stay tuned!

#king baldwin iv x reader #king baldwin iv #baldwin iv #baldwin of jerusalem #baldwin iv x reader #kingdom of heaven #kingdom of heaven fandom #the leper king

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somekindofpoet · 1 year

Text

La Petite Mort - C'est Comme Ça

Summary: The repercussions of RJ's return hit hard

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: Language

A/N: This chapter is brought to you by boygenius, specifically Phoebe Bridgers because she has ruined me. You asked for angst. Remember YOU ASKED FOR THIS. There's a little TLOU2 easter egg in there for you fellow Ellie lovers. I have to say, I can't believe this story is the result of an ask about a girl getting head for the first time...writing is weird.

LPM - Part I LPM - Part II LPM Part IV LPM Part V LPM Part VI

The tension in the air is palpable. You can feel the moment strung taught, a high wire of social choreography forcing you to tiptoe carefully. Truth be told, it was your own fault. You were the one fucking RJs girlfriend. And you were the one flirting with Maxine. You’d made your bed, but you were determined not to sleep in it.

You motion to the hay bales behind Maxine, “Ma’am if you don’t mind?”

She turns, her eyebrows raising as she realizes she’s in your way, and slides over to the edge of the tailgate. Into the exact spot Lorraine had just vacated. The significance of the moment is not lost on you, but you brush it off and reach for the hay. You pull it down and lug it into the barn, breaking a sweat that has little to do with exertion. A wolf whistle rips out from behind you, and you drop the hay and turn to find the source. A man in aviators and a white cowboy hat is leaning against the truck next to Maxine, a toothpick rolling around his lips.

As you approach, he slides his sunglasses down his nose to look at you, “Howdy darlin,” he says, his voice thick with amusement.

You raise an eyebrow at him, reaching for the next bale, and nod in greeting. Something about him screams con artist, and you immediately decide you don’t like him. Maxine giggles and pulls at his shirt sleeve, swinging her legs. You’re acutely aware of Lorraine in your peripheral, glancing over at the interaction as RJ talks at her, his hands waving around excitedly.

The con man pulls the toothpick from his mouth and clears his throat, “Names Wayne,” he says, his unnaturally white teeth gleaming in the sun, “You ever thought about bein in movies?”

You squint at him, your hands wrapped in the rope keeping the hay bound and shake your head, “No, actin ain’t exactly my strong suit.”

Maxine snickers, and a devilish grin spreads across Wayne’s face, “That’s okay. Actin is not high on the priority list for my movies.”

Your eyebrows fly up your face as you realize the implication. In all the fuss, you had forgotten the type of movie RJ had been filming with them. The realization comes with the knowledge of who Maxine must be, and suddenly her flirting makes sense. You’re flattered, really, at the proposition, but you’re also mortified.

An involuntary laugh slips out of you, bubbling up from your belly through your chest. You heave the hay off the truck and shake your head, “I respect what y’all do, but I’ll stick to what I got goin on, thank you.”

Wayne puts his hands up in surrender, “Alright, alright. I’d be a fool not to try though, especially since Maxine here has been eyein you. Jackson and Bobby-Lynne over there would probably agree that you’d be a welcome addition, but suit yourself,” he points to the two making out against the van.

You look in their direction and laugh again, seeing them dry humping each other, “I think they have their hands full as it is,” you say and turn toward the barn.

As you make your way back out, squinting in the sun, RJ’s raised voice catches your attention.

“I’ve been gone for a week Lorraine. You can’t spend one night with me?”

You note the change in his tone, dropping her nickname to say her full name in irritation. She mumbles something too quiet to hear, and seeing her cower in front of him makes your blood boil. She always made herself small for him, careful to stay out of the way and quiet. She was a quiet person by nature, but even more so in his presence. Watching her with him is like seeing your favorite flower wither, her beauty shriveling in his wake. You ball your fists and clench your jaw.

“Aaaah, you got a thing for brunettes, huh?” Wayne’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

You frown and shake your head, “What?”

He gestures toward Lorraine with his head, “I don’t blame ya, RJ caught a fish way too big for his reel there.”

You scowl at him, fighting the urge to knock his lights out. How dare he even look her way, much less speak about her. Your composure is rattled, and the conversation between RJ and Lorraine is growing more agitated by the minute. You turn back to them, ready to start a brawl, but you’re halted by a look from Lorraine. She looks at you out of the corner of her eye and shakes her head, asking you to stay out of it. You grit your teeth, feeling wild and out of control.

“Baby let’s go, I’m so tired of farms,” Maxine whines, blinking up at Wayne.

You feel like you’re an extra in a movie that’s in the wrong shot. Stranded between keeping up appearances and doing what you really want to do. Which is to sweep Lorraine off her feet and kick RJ in the teeth. Deep down, there’s resentment building toward her too, but you’re not ready to deal with it. The bed you were trying not to sleep in was pulling back its blankets, welcoming you to the mess you’d made.

When Maxine brushes past you to return to the van, she runs her fingers from your shoulder down your arm and winks at you, blowing you a kiss as she walks backward. You make eye contact with Lorraine, and it’s like the whole scene blurs around you. The pornstars chattering in the background, RJ having his meltdown to the side, and the two of you, front and center. An unspoken moment passes between you, and you can feel the delicate balance shatter around you. It hurts you more than you have words to describe. If that moment hurts, it has nothing on what you feel when she turns around and climbs into the van with RJ.

——

One of your favorite things about Mr. Day is his ability to work in comfortable silence. He doesn’t press you for small talk or waste time preaching to you. He’s a quiet, peaceful man, and you can see Lorraine’s got it honest. When he does speak, he says what he means, and that’s that.

The two of you had saddled up and ridden over an hour to his back pasture to repair the fencing that had been neglected over the season. There were several feet of fence that needed replacing, and it was laborious work. The two of you drudged along with the chore in silence, occasionally grunting or grumbling when the wires pierced through your gloves and cut your skin. It came as a shock to you when he left his post and came over to yours, leaning against the wood, clearly wanting to talk.

You wipe your cheek with the back of your glove, pushing your hat back off your brow, and squint at him, “How you doin sir, comin along alright down there?”

He sighs, his black and silver mustache rustling with his breath, “I’m gettin too old for this mess y/n.”

You chuckle, “That’s what you have me for. I can finish this up if you want to head in.”

“What do you think of that boy, RJ?”

You jerk your head back, the wire in your hand sinking into the skin of your palm, making you wince. You gulp, unsure of how to answer.

“How do you mean?” You ask, willing your voice not to waver.

He tilts his head at you, his expression so shockingly similar to one Lorraine would make it nearly knocks the wind out of you.

“I mean, what do you think of him?”

He doesn’t give you any further context, his tone is neutral and steady.

“I think,” you pause a moment, “I think he’s fine.”

Mr. Day watches you for a moment, clearly evaluating you. “Try that again, and be honest.”

You set your pliers down on the fence post and pull your gloves off, your palm stinging from the fresh cut there. This man has known you since you were a child, and you should have known better than to try to sugarcoat your opinion in front of him.

“I think he’s a pretentious asshole. If you’ll pardon my French.”

When he smiles at you, Lorraine is there again, in the crinkle of his dark eyes and the curve of his mustache hidden mouth.

“That’s more like it.”

He pushes off the fence and hobbles over to his horse, pulling two warm PBRs from his saddle bag. He hands you one as he leans back up against the fence and cracks his open, gulping it and eyeing you. You open yours and swig, relaxing your posture and turning to lean back with him. His presence is calming, and you feel grounded for the first time since you’d seen the van pull into the ranch driveway.

“I just don’t know what she sees in him,” you tell him, your honesty shocking you.

He takes another drink, “I was hoping you’d tell me. Seems like you know Raine better than most, I’d say.”

The knowledge that he’d almost caught you having sex with his daughter several times now makes you hesitant to reply. You can’t know if he knows, but from his tone and the way he’s eyeing you, you’re beginning to think he does. It’s surprising to you that he doesn’t seem to be upset about it if he does know. You proceed under the assumption that he is ignorant of your situation, thinking it the safer option.

“I couldn’t tell you. Guess you could ask her.”

He grunts, “I could, but Mrs. Day would have my head. She says I ought to leave Raine be. She’s an adult and all.”

You hum, drink your beer. He grunts and drinks his. You both stare off into the distance, watching the high grass rustle in the gentle afternoon breeze. You find your mind wandering, thinking about where Lorraine might be now and what she’s doing. You wonder if RJ ever takes her out for ice cream and if he notices the way she closes her eyes when she eats it, or how she taps her fingers against the cone in quiet excitement. The thought makes you feel sick, leading from the ice cream to what they’d do in private. His hands where yours had been, unaware of the now faded marks you’d left there.

You chug the can and crush it, forgetting you were with company. You’re not lucky enough to have escaped his notice, and he watches you with careful eyes. You’re flooded with shame at your own anger and the sadness that weighs in your bones. You had no right to be upset, but that didn’t make the sting any less painful.

Mr. Day sighs, the lines on his face almost sorrowful as he watches you, “Love is a pretty strange thing. Wilder than a feral mustang, and even harder to control.”

You don’t answer, his words settling over you. You think he must be referring to his daughter, but you get the tiniest notion that he’s not talking about her and RJ anymore. Unwilling to open Pandora’s box, you nod silently and pull your gloves back on, dropping the crushed can at your feet and returning to your work. He thumps you on the back affectionately and finishes his beer.

“Well, would you look at that,” Mr. Day grumbles, “Speak of the devil, and she shall appear.”

You frown in confusion, still twisting the wire around the post. You clip the end and turn, following his gaze to a dirt cloud in the distance. The Day’s truck is rambling down the dirt cut toward you, kicking up dust behind it. It must be Lorraine because in all the years you’d worked for them, Mrs. Day had never graced you with her presence further than her backyard. Your stomach flips in excitement, and it makes you roll your eyes at yourself. Even in the depths of heartbreak, your body still reacted to the mere idea of her being near. Another beer is pushed into your hands, and you take it eagerly, knowing you’d need it to keep your cool as the truck nears and you see RJ in the passenger seat.

You exchange a look with Mr. Day and pop the can open. Lorraine parks the truck and slides out, shooting you a shy smile.

She beams at Mr. Day, “Hey Daddy! Momma told me to come out here and pick you up.”

He grunts, but you can see the smile behind his mustache, “She gonna come out here and patch this fence then?”

“I can help!” RJ chirps, rounding the truck, a small camera in his hand.

It’s quiet for a moment as the three of you stare at him in disbelief. You look at his soft hands and smirk, knowing full well, he was incapable of doing manual labor. You don’t miss the chastising look Lorraine shoots you.

“You gonna do that with a camera in your hand?” Mr. Day asks him, not unkindly, but his tone isn’t warm either.

RJs steps stutter as he looks down at the camera. He appears to be afraid to part with it and hangs it around his neck with the lanyard. He puts his hands up to show they’re free and smiles. Your lip curls involuntarily, his mere presence putting you in a bad mood. You decide it’s best to keep your mouth shut because if you speak, you’re going to say something that will upset Lorraine. Instead, you take a few healthy gulps of your beer, the warm liquid fizzling in your stomach and calming you.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea RJ,” Lorraine says, “Mending fence ain’t easy.”

He scoffs, his spine straightening. He may as well beat on his chest with machismo. He looks so self-assured. “I can do it Lorraine.”

Lorraine shrinks, nodding. She avoids your pointed gaze, keeping her eyes trained on her shoes. You tilt your head, feeling surly knowing you can’t do anything to help her without making the situation worse. Then an idea springs forth in your mind, making you smirk. You pull your gloves off, leveling RJ with a challenging stare.

“Here you go RJ, take my spot. I need a break anyway.” You hold the gloves and pliers out to him, daring him to refuse.

You can see the indecision warring in his eyes, not expecting you to call his apparent bluff. You shake the gloves at him with impatience. If he wants a masculine display, you’re going to allow him to try. Lorraine raises an eyebrow at you, warning you to tread lightly. You find that you no longer care if you upset her at the moment. You flash her a brilliant smile as RJ takes the tools from your hands.

Mr. Day nods and finishes off his beer, “Come here then boy, let me show you how to tie the lines.”

You lean your back against the grill of the truck and cross your feet, sipping your warm beer and waiting for the inevitable. Lorraine slides over next to you, her arm brushing yours. You try to ignore the way it makes your stomach cartwheel. As upset as you were with her, something in you enjoys the sensation of your forbidden, secret intimacy.

She leans her head toward you, whispering, “You know this is not gonna end well y/n.”

You snort, tip the beer can to your lips, “Whatever makes you say that, Lorraine?”

She turns her head up to stare daggers at you, but you keep your eyes trained on RJ and Mr. Day. She doesn’t push the conversation and looks toward the fence again.

It takes all of five minutes for RJ to hurt himself. You sneer, hearing him cry out over the wire in his palm. Mr. Day shakes his head at him and looks to his daughter for support. Lorraine pushes herself off the truck, quickly making her way to fuss over RJs bleeding palm.

He brushes her off, “Don’t touch it! I don’t need your help. Just get me a bandage.”

She jerks back, startled by his harsh tone. You step forward, ready to stand between them if he says anything else. Luckily her father takes the lead in handling the outburst.

“Young man, you’d do well not to speak to my daughter like that. Get in the truck, I’ll drive you back to the house for a band-aid.”

RJ glances back and forth between him and Lorraine, fear apparent on his face, “Oh no sir, Raine can drive me, can’t you baby?”

She opens her mouth to answer, but she’s interrupted by her dad, “I said get in the truck boy. Rainey, ride Shimmer back to the barn. Give her a good gallop before she sees it, though, don’t want her goin barn sour like old CB over here.”

“Hey!” You yelp, “My son is not barn sour!”

Mr. Day chuckles, “Kick him in gear then and see who gets back faster. You can finish the fence tomorrow.”

You narrow your eyes at him playfully, thinking he’s made this decision on purpose. He’s setting you up for an hour alone with Lorraine, and it’s transparent to you. The love you have for him grows even further in that moment.

The truck rolls out of sight while you finish packing up your tools, Lorraine adjusting her father's stirrups to fit her legs. You fill up your saddlebags and buckle them closed, patting CB on his rump affectionately. You turn your head to watch Lorraine, her hands on her hips, trying to work out how to climb on top of Shimmer without a step stool. You lean your shoulder against CB, crossing your arms, content to watch her struggle until she asks for help. Shimmer is at least three hands taller than Lorraine’s quarter horse, so she’s slightly out of her depth. You stifle your laughter as you watch her try to hike her leg high enough to get her toes in the stirrup and fail. She turns and glares at you, her pride too large to ask you for help yet.

After a few more minutes, you can’t take watching her struggle any longer. You saunter over to her and kneel down, silently offering your bent leg as a step stool. She huffs, hesitates a moment, and steps on you to swing her leg over Shimmer’s back.

“Thank you,” she grumbles, gathering the reins in her hand.

You tip your hat at her and stand, “My pleasure ma’am.”

She pulls the reins, so Shimmer turns and smacks you with her head, stomping in irritation at the command. You stumble backward, laughing, and jog back to CB, hopping up into your saddle with ease.

The ride back is anything but relaxing. Lorraine is quiet, introspective. You peek over at her every few minutes, trying to find a way to start the conversation you desperately need to have. A conversation a part of you does not want to have because it requires a terrifying amount of vulnerability.

“So,” you start, leaving the word hanging in hopes she picks up where you left off. She doesn’t.

“So, how…how was your night?” You don’t really want to know the answer to this question, the possibility of her giving you an answer that will gut you being very high.

She gives you an impassive glance, “Just ask me what you want to ask me.”

You screw your face up, the accusation hurting your feelings, “I asked you what I wanted to ask you.”

“No, you didn’t.” She turns her head to watch you, her body gently rocking with Shimmer’s slow steps.

You clench your jaw and purse your lips, “Did you…did you-“

“No,” she interrupts, relieving you of asking the question that was making you feel like you were sinking.

You visibly relax, and you see her smile from the corner of your eye. “Did he-“

“Now that is none of your business,” she stops you.

You frown, then let it slide from your face when you realize you’re being petulant. Just take the win that she did not have sex with him yet. Yet. The word weighs heavy on you.

“What does this mean,” you ask quietly, looking down at your hands, “for us?”

She sighs, “I don’t know yet.”

There it is again. Yet.

You nod in acceptance and keep your eyes trained on the horizon.

——

You decide to camp by the pond for the night. You didn’t want to feel trapped in your apartment. The walls and ceilings would make you feel caged. You ride CB out to the clearing and pull his saddle and blankets off his back when you get there, letting him roam freely. He never goes too far and knows to come to you if you call. A small campfire burns in a dirt patch, your sleeping bag rolled out next to it.

You settle in and lay on your back, your hands under your head, and get lost in the stars. As much as you’d like to not think of Lorraine, your brain just can’t seem to help itself. It was a small comfort to know she hadn’t slept with RJ the night prior, but every passing day meant you were inevitably closer to the moment when it would happen. You’re unsure of how you should feel about it, but you know that it makes you sick to your stomach. How you’re going to manage this is beyond you. Would she leave him? For you? You snort a cold laugh through your nose, knowing that situation was impossible. You had nothing to offer her that RJ didn’t have. In fact, his being a man made Lorraine’s life easier; being with you would mean a lifelong struggle against adversity. You want to want a simple life for her. You want to want for her to be happy with him. But you don’t. What you really want is simple. You want her.

Trees rustling off to your side draw your attention away from your thoughts, and you sit up on your elbows. Your shotgun is at your side, and you eye it warily. Branches snapping and bushes being pushed aside gain CB’s attention as well. He picks his head up and stares into the brush with you. Your body grows tenser the closer the sound comes, and your fingers inch toward the gun.

Lorraine bursts through the trees on her little quarter horse Pearl, her white coat shining in the moonlight. You breathe a sigh of relief, and CB drops his head back down to chomp at the grass when he realizes it’s his barn companion. She doesn’t remove Pearl’s saddle when she climbs down, telling you she doesn’t intend to stay. She walks around the fire, and you move off your sleeping bag into the grass. You gesture at it, telling her to sit on the fabric.

“Hey,” she says as she drops down next to you.

“Hey.”

“I thought I’d find you out here. CB’s stall was empty.”

“Yeah, I figured we could use some fresh air for the night.”

She nods thoughtfully and reaches her hand out to rest on your leg. You look down at her fingers and fight the urge to lean into her. Your spine goes stiff with the effort of it, and she notices. Her teeth worry at her bottom lip, and her eyes wander everywhere but on you. She’s here for a reason, so you decide to wait for her to tell you what it is. Even if it’s not something you’re prepared to hear.

“So. You like Maxine?” She says, moving her hand from your leg to pull up blades of grass from the dirt.

You laugh, your expression appalled, “What?”

“I saw how you looked at her. Kissed her hand.”

You shrug, feeling guilty, “I don’t like Maxine.”

“Why not?”

Irritation flares up in you, simmering in your veins. How could she ask that? As if she doesn’t know that you don’t like Maxine because you only have eyes for her now. You hold your tongue, not wanting to lash out at her.

“Come on Raine. You know why.”

She turns her head away from you as if that was the last thing she’d wanted to hear. You’re sure it complicates things, having her know you wouldn’t move on so easily.

“RJ is a good man.” Is all she says back, and it stings.

Your anger is building now, becoming unmanageable. “He’s not good to you. He’s a self-righteous prick Lorraine.”

She tips her head back, blinking quickly, “That’s not fair. You don’t know him.”

“I know him well enough.”

“Maybe he’s what I deserve.”

The words hang in the air, and to you, they look a lot like a noose. A hangman’s collar for the relationship built between the two of you.

“You deserve more than him.”

You can see her jaw clench; she’s becoming irritated with you now. “Tell me what I deserve that he doesn’t give me?” Her voice shakes, tears brimming in her eyes when she looks at you.

“Love,” you say gently, “The ability to know you better than he knows himself. Taking the time to learn that you like the smell of jasmine more than roses, that you’re adventurous and kind, that once you gave that homeless woman in Austin your shoes because she didn’t have any.”

She lays down on her back, her hands at her side. She’s silent for a long time, longer than you’d like, but you let it settle over you.

“You never asked me what my dream was about. From the other night.”

You turn your head to look at her, and her expression is so soft, her smile weak, and her eyes watery. It’s like a javelin to the gut.

“I just assumed it was something to do with what we’d done the day prior.”

She sighs, turns her head back toward the stars, “No. No, it wasn’t that, I have real life for that.”

You roll toward her and prop your head up on your hand, “Well, what then? You said you dreamt about me.”

“I did. You were little again, five, maybe six. Like the day we first met. Overalls and pigtails and everything.”

You chuckle in spite of the growing despair crushing your chest, “You remember that?”

She scoffs, “Course I do. You shoved that boy Rance into the sandbox and kicked dirt in his eyes.”

“He called your freckles ugly. He deserved it, I’d do it again.”

She laughs, the sound tinkling from her lips and wrapping itself around you like a snake made of nostalgic joy.

“I remember that too.” She turns her head and looks up at your face, “That was the day I told my Momma I loved you.”

A genuine chuckle escapes you, and you fight the urge to reach for her, “What did she say to that?”

“The same thing she told me today.”

Your eyebrows lift in surprise, “You told your momma you loved me today?”

She nods, blinks a tear from between her lashes. Your hand slides over the grass toward her, but stops just inches from her elbow.

“What did she say?”

“She said Atlantas was beautiful, and now it’s gone because they built on unstable foundation.”

You blink, taken aback, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” she sighs.

You’re struck with the idea that she does know, but she’s afraid to say. The look in her eyes is so mournful, you feel like you know too. You swallow hard, your throat constricting painfully.

“What happened in your dream?” Your voice cracks, betraying your calm exterior.

She closes her eyes and smiles, “You offered me a candy from your pocket. It was covered in sand, but you were very proud of it.”

You lie back, turning toward the sky again, staying silent.

She continues, “When I took it from you, you grew up, and we were on the ranch. You climbed up on CB’s back, looked at me, and said, ‘I was looking for you,’ and then you turned and rode off into the sunset. I stood there and watched you until I woke up.”

You nod, the grass rustling under your head, “Well, your dreams got that part right. I’m always looking for you.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, and her hands press into her stomach. When she opens them, tears brim at the lids but don’t fall.

She sighs and sits up, looks down at you.

“I better get back.” She pushes herself to her feet, and you don’t watch her go as she leaves you there.

#lorraine day x reader #lorraine day #lpm #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x y/n

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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...

#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose #very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body #so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with #energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we #can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like #losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my #ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things #less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out #but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional #range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes #so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like #oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to #understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have #to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make #me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain #fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like #lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes #me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs #will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u #plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im #trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying #to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me #more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something #how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at #first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into #academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u #gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer #then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement #well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw #unrelated

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pettydollie · 1 month

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♡.˚ ୨୧ ｡˚ ♡.˚ wild - m.s

summary: you leave your boyfriend to go on a hiking trip. you- on a hiking trip. this leads to matt thinking you're gonna leave him.

warnings/notes: lowercase intended, matt's pov (i suck at first person so i apologize), guys this is literally the scene from "gilmore girls: a year in the life", NOT PROOF READ, cursing wc: 1.6k

*this story is told from matt's pov :)*

5 years. thats how long ive been with my girl, yn, and i wouldnt have it any other way. life is great, fabulous even! im incredibly happy. i thought she was too- that was until sunday afternoon.

i sit in the kitchen, signing cards for our 6 million merch. i let out a small smile just thinking about the milestone. yn walks in wearing her puffer coat. she plops a large backpack next to her on the floor. i look up from the table. things have been weird these last few days, to say the least. she was becoming.. distant? it's just weird because "distant" is never a word i'd use to describe our relationship. but we have never ever felt so apart.

"hey." i take off my headphones, looking up and down at her attire and the bag by her side. she takes in a deep breath. "im going away." she states bluntly. she bites her lip gently, clearly waiting for my response.

i stare directly at her while her eyes wander off in the distance. blinking before dryly chuckling, i respond,“whaddya mean? you’re leaving?” i drop my sharpie onto the table, turning my body to give her my full attention.

"i'll be gone a while. probably like a couple of weeks." she stands nervously, twiddling with her fingers like a child being scolded though matt feels as if he's the kid. a look of concern draws itself over my face. "baby, what is this? what's going on?" she doesn't answer for a moment. instead she takes in a breath.

“i’m gonna do Wild.” she states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. i almost want to laugh. this has got to be a joke. “w- huh?” i sputter, rubbing my temples. she repeats, "Wild." i pause, thinking. then it hits me, "ohh you mean the movie?"

"the book. the movie took liberties, the book is pure, so.. book." she nods, finally deciding to drop her hands at her side. i guess my face still has that weird confused look because she emphasizes, "i'm going to the place. the pacific crest trail. and i'm going to walk it." i snort, even though i tried not to. "you mean hike?" i correct and she simply rolls her eyes. "are you serious? that trail's 2,000 miles long!" i stand up while using my hands to speak.

she grins, "i'm not doing the whole thing, silly."

i began to list all the factors of nature, her muttering an “i know” after every one. “bu- it's a trail“ “i know” “it's outdoors.. in nature.” “i know” “there's dirt, bugs, animals!” “mosquitoes, rivers” "i know" "you have to carry your own backpack! by yourself." "i know"

it pauses while i think of even more things she won't like. but then i remember, "you haveta sleep on the ground. the dirty ground, sweetheart." "i know." "you cook your own food" "i know" "you boil your own water" "i know" "you get your water from a stream" "i know" "that's in nature!"

"i know, matt. i know what's out there." she sadly smiles, beginning to fidget with her fingers again. "wow.. so. you're still gonna go? you're not joking?" my voice cracks. she shakes her head. i sigh and sit back down to bounce my leg under the table. "why?"

tears well up in her eyes. she's holding them from falling, standing her ground. "because.. i need to. it's now or never." she whispers, concluding the conversation before grabbing her backpack and walking out, leaving me alone and bewildered.

"god, who cares?!" i snap at my younger triplet, chris. it's been a week without my yn and i'm dyin. i dunno what's going on and i'm sick of it- sick of everything. chris sits down next to me, snatching my phone that was previously in my hands and throwing it on the couch. i groan, dropping my head onto the table. "jesus, man, what's going on?" he nudges my shoulder.

"it's yn. she's doin' wild."

"the movie or the book?" chris answers and i scoff. "what?? they're two different experiences." he tries to reason, but i just give it up. "the book. yknow, i jus-- i can't understand why. she's doing wild. she just left and bought some hiking boots."

"cute hiking boots?" chris chuckles. that cracks a smile out of me. "nah, real hiking boots. that you can hike in. and she did this after, uh... well. it's uh been.. weird. i mean, my girl, y/n l/n decides to hike the pacific crest trail to figure some things out, what the fuck?"

it's quiet for seconds. chris' mouth forms a straight line. but i already know what he's thinking. after a defeated sigh, he mutters, "it sounds like she's leaving you."

two days after my conversation with chris, i stand in the kitchen feeding yn's puppy. i stroke his fluffy head with a sad frown on my face until i hear the door open. i stand up immediately with my eyes widened. there she is. yn walks in carrying her heavy backpack on one shoulder. "what're you doing here?" i ask, surprised. i take a step towards her but she lifts her free hand up in defense. "don't come near me!"

with my eyes still wide, i let out a "why?" and she walks further into the kitchen. "because.. i smell. every part of me smells. i didn't even hike! and i stink. i showered, even. and i came back home," she explains while dropping her backpack into one of the chairs. "i haven't even been near a cactus for hours and apparently all you have to do is simply think about hiking and boom, you smell."

i cut in, "you didn't hike?"

she shakes her head, not even looking disappointed. "nope, they wouldn't let me. i tried. i forgot things and.. whatever. i didn't hike. but the thing isss.!! i didn't go to hike. well, i did, but i just needed to figure something out. and i figured it out! which is great because-" she rambles and my eyes drift to the floor, knowing what's to come. i try to brace myself but i can't. i can't let her go.

she's still going on.. babbling about coffee and hills, but i couldn't take it anymore. "stop!" i yell out, holding both of my hands up. now it's her turn to be surprised as her eyes go big. "i know what you're doing, yn."

"you do?" she asks, sounding happy for some fucking reason.

"you're going to leave me! and i just have to tell you, it's a big mistake." i put it out there and her face drops. she shakes her head from side to side, her mouth opening. "wait- matt-" i interrupt her. "i've seen the signs, i've seen them coming for months. your bolting signs- yknow the distance and then suddenly you're doing Wild?? like seriously? hiking alone with nothing else to do? no music festival or hello kitty booth, just you and nature."

"i don't care what anybody says, space is never a good thing. there, i said it." i point my finger at her accusingly. she tries to butt in again, muttering, "matthew hold on-"

"no! we have been through too much together, you and i, okay? listen, i know things aren't perfect, i'm not perfect, and there's been some issues. i am not unhappy. i am not unsatisfied. you think i'm unhappy and unsatisfied, and i can't convince you that i'm not! i mean.. this.. right here-" i motion towards me and her, who is standing absolutely frozen. "-is all i will ever need. shit, i never even thought it would happen! and i thank my fucking lucky ass stars every day. i know i'm not the easiest guy in the world to build a life with and.. and share a house with, but there is no one who will be more here for you than me!

"i will never leave! i will never think about leaving. i will do whatever it takes to fix what's wrong. i'll- fuck- i'll go to a therapist or some shit, i'll quit youtube if that's what you want! i'll give you back the entire closet, i don't need it! i only took that half because you insisted i do.. i don't need it, take it."

she frowns. "i don't want it." "well it's yours, take it." "i don't need it!" "yes you do! you need it! you need the space and I NEED YOU. damn it, yn! we have been through so much. but we made it here! you can't leave, sweets, please." i completely break, raising my voice and expressing my deepest feelings without even hesitating.

all i can hear the cars honking outside for a good ten seconds. yn has tears gushing down her pretty face with the most beautiful smile spread across her lips. "matt.. i think we should get married."

oh. i furrow my eyebrows. "but.. i-i thought-" i cut myself off, fucking shut up. i run out of the room to a closet by the front door. i pull out the engagement i ring i bought a year ago, quickly dusting off anything on the velvet box before walking back into the kitchen. she lets out a small gasp, wiping the hot tears from her eyes. i grab her hand, kissing it softly. then i get down on one knee.

tags <3

@stargirlsturniololover @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee @freshsturns @emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668

#𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓸 #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x fem reader

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reorientation · 5 months

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okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

#I can't respond to all of this without feeling like I'm going on for too long but rest assured that I enjoyed reading every bit <3 #reor: respect anon #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #ftm girl #reor: anon life story

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wifetomegatron · 6 months

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I’m not sure if you’re taking requests or not so feel free to delete but if you are how about some firsts! First date with First Aid in the First Contact!AU?

thank you for requesting anon <3 i hope you enjoy this !

a night full of firsts : what a first date with first aid would be like (sfw!)

i) you weren't his first date ( he had dated a couple of times back in medical school, but that had been ages ago ), but you were his first date on earth. first aid had idled outside the door of the restaurant for about ten minutes, constantly re-checking the screen of his mobile phone — which, in his opinion, was ridiculous to carry around — to double and triple check your picture. he was fidgeting, servos twitchy as he entered the place. the funny bit was you had witnessed the whole thing, the wide, clear window giving you a full view of first aid desperately trying to soothe his nerves ( you tell him this months after and he nearly breaks apart from shame. )

ii) first contact had been established for nearly a decade now, and humans were surprisingly quick to assimilate. if anything, none of the patrons bat an eye at his presence — red and white metal, shining under the golden glow of the lights. there were only five other bots inside the place, including him. and when he was the only one obviously on a date, first aid felt singled out if not scrutinized. with a more integral involvement in the council of worlds, the people of this little green planet had opened themselves slowly to the idea of 'interspecies relationships.' it was only a matter of time before someone created a dating app specialized for that. ( the secondhand embarrassment in asking velocity to help him create his profile pales in comparison to the shame he felt when he saw so many of his friends there.) less than a week of being on there scrolling, the two of you had matched. and the sweet little messages had boiled down to this very moment: you sitting across him, cheeks dusted pink. he averted his optics, suddenly feeling shy for the first time in a long time.

iii) the first hour went smoothly, with a few bumps along the way such as the occasional slip-ups and misunderstanding — you had accidentally asked him if he thinks the carbonara is better than the aglio e olio while he had slipped and accidentally called your eyes 'fascinating' instead of 'beautiful'. those he could laugh off.

until you had wondered aloud at how interesting it was that humans and cybertronians were so similar. and off-handedly, out of instinct, the medic had responded with : more than you think.

you had a playful glint in your eyes when you responded, lifting the wine glass to your lips, ' is that a promise?'

at the innuendo, his already nervous knee had jerked upwards and bumped the underside of the table, knocking the glass of water all over the surface. he immediately stood up, reaching to undo the damage by plucking the glass, only to have one of the table cloths snag in the seam of his knee. in an instant, the plates and cutlery had toppled over, loudly crashing onto the floor. but he didn't even have the time to react, the candle — which in his opinion was an evil, dangerous, thing to have on a dinner table and nowhere romantic — had set several of the napkins on fire. a dozen frightened patrons and one, messy fire extinguisher later, first aid had yanked you out of your seat and away from the chaos. this was the first time, first aid wished — what was the human saying ? for the earth to swallow him up? judging from how your clothes were most likely irreversibly damaged by the wine and pasta, disappearing was the best option.

iv) he knows ratchet was trying not to laugh at the story, failing miserably the moment he excused himself out of the room to ( not so discreetly ) tell his conjunx about the incident. velocity gave him a pitying smile, even if she was hiding her amusement. he told her that he was never going to see you again — that he ruined a beautiful night with a beautiful person over a stupid accident. considering that he was flustered enough to disappear without a word. until you had showed up by the receptionist's desk, worried hands wrung together as you asked one of the nurses for him.

at the sight of him, your eyes lit up. this was the first time first aid found himself at a loss for words, spark racing as you explained to him how you were more worried about how he had deleted the app the morning after and left without a word. determined not to get ghosted by someone who clearly enjoyed the night, you had tracked him down to ask him for another date.

' this time,' you had cleared your throat, ' i can prepare us dinner back at mines and actually make sure there'll be no candles around. if you'd want, that is ?'

he was glad he had his mouth guard up because he could feel himself grinning, velocity in the back already calling swerve to break to him the news.

'yes,' first aid answered, ' i'd like that.'

#first aid #transformers #more than meets the eye #maccadams #transformers x you #first aid x reader #first aid / you #first aid / reader #first aid idw #first aid transformers #tf mtmte #mtmte #transformers mtmte #idw mtmte #lost light #first contact au #requests

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sgiandubh · 7 months

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Do you have any secret tips for restaurants or cafés for a trip to Paris?

Dear Paris Anon,

I am happy and amused you ask me this question. Happy, because I have been calling Paris home for six years: that means there are places where I was madly kissing a beautiful (and cruel) boy from Bastia, places where I walked at night drunk as a boiled owl with people who are still in my life, places where I regularly went shopping or having an endless coffee with friends and places I was entrusted with, like precious jewels. Amused, because to be honest, Paris is probably the last French destination I could think of for an enjoyable week-end en amoureux (I suppose you want to go as a couple?), right now: it is overpriced as hell (the Olympics are round the corner), dirty and seedy (I was shocked, last time I visited and Manu Macron, my old acquaintance of yore, spoke about parking all the homeless outside of town during the Games 'for aesthetic reasons' - the boy never had a sense of humor, trust me on this one).

I shall give you 5 restaurants and 5 cafés (oh God, why didn't you ask me about Bangkok, instead?). Many of them are on the Left Bank (all of my addresses were there, simply because the closer to the university, the better).

Five restaurants: as it happens in Rome (where the gap is truly tragic), I will try and recommend places where locals go. You will find a menu in English everywhere, but at least try the holy trinity of bonjour, l'addition (the check) et merci. All the Parisian waiters are sourer than the Politburo and insolent as highway robbers, but do not be deterred by their manners. Order away.

Le Relais de Venise - son entrecôte (271 Bd Pereire, 75017). It is not in the center. They do not take reservations. You will be met with a long line of people patiently waiting (Seinfeld style) to get in. They have a minimal set menu (which is always a very good sign: https://relaisdevenise.com/menus/set-menu.php). The waitresses are kind and dressed like 1920's maids. It will be the damn best entrecôte-frites you've ever had (their sauce is a secret). Nothing changed there since 1959. Double check opening times and plan accordingly: you will need a taxi and plenty of time ahead. Almost a bargain for its stellar performance. The London one is a sad spin off.

Le Soufflé (36 rue du Mont Thabor, 75001). An original choice, but oh so good! They only cook soufflés (not exactly a pudding, but a pudding angels must have on a daily basis). Very reasonably priced for Paris (set menus at 40 and 55 euros - https://www.lesouffle.fr/bienvenue/home/menu/). If you want to eat à la carte, I recommend le soufflé Henri IV (cheese soufflé with chicken & mushrooms sauce) : it is heaven.

La Jacobine (59-61 Rue Saint-André des Arts, 75006). You will find tourists in this one, it is always full. Service is impeccable. Do not bother with Le Procope round the corner: it used to be one of my haunts, but this is over. The best soupe à l'oignon (onion soup, notoriously hard to cook) I ever had (yes, they still add white wine!). I would also recommend the magret de canard sauce aux cèpes (duck breast with a porcini mushrooms sauce). I could not find a decent menu, but that should give you an idea - they don't have a website (https://eater.space/la-jacobine). Very reasonably priced, too - and very, very good.

Chez Julien (1, rue du Pont Louis-Philippe, 75004 Paris). This is one of my mum's favorites. It is open only in the evenings, but it is an excellent choice if you want to call it a night, because it has service continu (all night long, wow!). It is more expensive - this is, after all, the Right Bank, so expect prices to go drastically up. This is the only option serving wonderful breakfasts, so I beg you: have breakfast in town at least once, Paris hotels tend to do it on the sad and sorry side (https://www.chezjulien.paris/en/home#menu-en). Pair anything you pick with a glass of Pouilly fumé white wine (it goes with anything, it is that magically good).

Money is no object? Entice the guy to take you at (I am torn, here, to be honest) La Tour d'Argent (19 Quai de la Tournelle, 75005). It is very expensive (like VERY), but it is worth every penny (https://tourdargent.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/LTDA-SEPTEMBRE-EN.pdf). You must (it's an order!) order the canard au sang (you will find it on the menu under the entry Duckling Frédéric Delair and it is outrageously priced). But you will never have a chance to see the table show anywhere else (it is served in two times: first the fillet and then the legs and it uses a sort of Medieval contraption, to get the blood out for the sauce) - just a specialty from Normandy, you will not find in Rouen anymore. It is divine. They have been there since 1583. What are you waiting for? (for a less break the bank option, try Le Grand Véfour, near the Louvre - google it, it will take forever to explain why).

Four cafés and a salon de thé (tea parlor) : all are haunts of mine. In every single one of them something very personal happened to me. Consider yourself lucky. On a more practical side, all of them double as excellent lunch options, for a fraction of what you would spend in a restaurant. :)

Chez Carette (4 Pl. du Trocadéro, 75016, but also Place des Vosges, with a nod to C). You will have an exceptional choice of anything you could think of and the same Roaring Twenties atmosphere as in the Relais de Venise restaurant. The chocolat chaud (hot chocolate) is almost perfection (do NOT go to Angelina, on the rue de Rivoli, that is another favorite which went south and not in a good way). The best macarons you will find North of Saint Jean de Luz's Maison Adam (where the story of macarons began in earnest). This is Someone's favorite, but then he always was a Right Bank purist. Service is old school, which means supremely kind, if only a bit on the slow side: you are in France, soak it in!

Les Deux Magots (6 Pl. Saint-Germain des Prés, 75006). On the Left Bank in the publishing houses district. This is my second favorite (there is a first favorite) and you will likely find me on the heated terrace with a cigarette and a newspaper, if I were there. Service is appalling, but you should not mind, I have warned you. Reasonably priced for what and where it is. Breakfasts are mediocre, but still enjoyable and lunch/dinner menus are typical brasserie fare - you are not there for the food, you are there to cosplay Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir and act intellectual and sophisticated and have endless talks about the world's destiny (https://lesdeuxmagots.fr/en/breakfast-menu/). If nature calls, head downstairs with an air of intrinsic superiority and don't forget to pay the grumpy dame pipi (toilet lady), who will give you what you need and look at you like you are the scum of the Earth. Always makes me laugh.

Le Café de l'Epoque (2 Rue du Bouloi, 75001). On the Right Bank, at the end of one of the most beautiful passages couverts (glass-roofed passageways) of Paris. Again, you are there for the supremely dreamy atmosphere, I can only fail to describe. Look on the map for all of these passageways and then get lost in the maze of stamp shops, bookstores, taxidermists and God only knows what else you could think of (or at least add to this passageway the Galerie Vivienne). Usual brasserie/bistro fare, reasonable prices (https://cafedelepoque.fr/en/services). The lemon meringue pies are to die for.

Café Le Rostand (6 Pl. Edmond Rostand, 75006). Steps away from the Luxembourg Gardens, which I crossed every single day to go to the uni. Steps away also from the secret and sublime Medici fountain in above park (oh, the things I did there!). Surprisingly good French fare, the beef tartare is excellent (a rare thing!) and well priced (https://lerostand.fr/carte/ - use Google translate, they don't care for tourists). Service is cheeky. Round the corner, one of the most charming shops in Paris, Parapluies Simon (56 Boulevard Saint-Michel, 75006) - only umbrellas and dandy walking sticks (you can hide a whisky mini flask in one of them, I am told by Someone on the phone, but I think he is trolling us - we love that shop).

The Tea Caddy (14 Rue Saint-Julien le Pauvre, 75005). It's been there since 1928, when a certain Miss Klinklin opened it and introduced the Devon scones to France. It is my favorite favorite (https://the-tea-caddy.com/en/tea-room/) and it is perfect on a rainy day. Steps away from the Medieval church of Saint-Julien-le-Pauvre, one of the most authentic and moving experiences of its kind in a very secular town. The Shakespeare & Co. bookstore is just round the corner. A rare gem of a place.

I could go on and on and on. Three more short tips and you will thank me for it, as alternatives to deceiving mainstream options:

The Musée de l'Orangerie instead of The Louvre. Blasphemy? Intense perfumes come in small bottles. It is breathtaking (https://www.musee-orangerie.fr/en).

Château de Rambouillet instead of Versailles (you will not be able to enjoy it AT ALL). Where else could you find Marie Antoinette's private 'milk bar' (La Laiterie de la Reine/ The Queen's Dairy), a supremely elegant affair, with milk-spouting fountains, built to encourage hygienic milk consumption as an alternative to breast-feeding (she was unable to). Trust me and plan a full day for it (https://www.chateau-rambouillet.fr/en/discover).

La Sainte-Chapelle instead of Notre Dame. I always preferred it to anything else, except perhaps Vézelay (far, far away from Paris). It will shock you, but in such a perfect way (https://www.sainte-chapelle.fr/en). Enough said: I will let you discover. Across the Seine, couple this visit with the Musée de Cluny and tell The Lady and the Unicorn I miss them (https://www.musee-moyenage.fr/en/).

I am not sorry for the length of this post. At all. I hope you will enjoy this modest, but very personal selection and perhaps you will come back and tell me if it was worth something. Bon voyage!

Notre Dame on a snowy evening, Paris 1953

#Anon

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