#its so funny to me to be like. vaguely mentally ill | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dumbfilmstudent · 2 years

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Watching a 14 year old 8th grader

Things I have been told/asked:

She showed me EVERY Pokémon and made me judge them and then told me I was wrong about every single one

Why Luka is a better boyfriend than Adrien Agreste (thankfully something I could understand)

Made me explain the entire plot of Steven Universe bc she saw one episode but couldn’t find the rest

That she is in love with a Splatoon character

Explained the full Five Nights at Freddie’s Lore (maybe better than MatPat who, by the way, she has no idea who he is)

Asked me about those Urban Legend Horror games like Bloody Mary and the Elevator game and then proceeded to have to sleep with every light on bc she was scared

Told me she doesn’t swear and doesn’t respect people who swear and that she has cut off friends who swear. I have to apologize every time I accidentally curse because of this.

She had me read 14 pokemon ffs on fanfiction.net to make sure there wasn’t any adult content.

In that same vein told me that she had learned how to use ao3 filters (something I had accidentally taught her how to do last time I watched her)

Asked me if I knew what Dokidoki literature club is and made me read 5 of those fanfictions too to make sure there was no adult content (there obviously was. How she ended up in dokidokiliterature is beyond me. She said it was because she is in love with Monika)

Made me read the ao3 ship stats and then asked me about every single fandom/show etc

Quick rundown of what she said when I explained them: Hannibal “remind me never to watch that”, Harry Potter “no one even cares about Harry Potter. Is Dumbledore gay?”, Supernatural “why are ppl shipping brothers” and then I explained destiel and how he got sent to hell and then she got mad at me for saying Hell, 911 “why does 911 have a fandom? People being hurt isn’t funny” I had to pick around a bit but realized she thought that 911 emergency calls were being made into fanfiction, BTS “who even are these people”, My Hero Academia “an anime? I don’t watch it. Is there any Comiket Communicate in the top ten?”, MCR “what’s that” I showed her some music and mvs “why do people like this it’s weird” to which I explained ppl were emo bc I didn’t know how else to explain and she said “my friend is a tall and skinny emo” and then wandered off

Made fun of me for thinking 53 degrees was cold. (We live in California. It is cold)

A dream she had where her friends are baking cookies but her one friend who she calls her little brother climbed into the oven

The fact that her friend group play house and she is the oldest sister

While roleplaying as a family they also roleplay that they can all turn into Eevees (this is not a one time game. They have done this for three years)

Asked me why there are so many fanfictions about BTS because she doesn’t understand how ppl can ship real people

While I was trying to explain it I accidentally mentioned the Dan and Phil real people shipping problem and she proceeded to ask me about who they are. I tried to be vague but she kept asking questions until I explained their whole online career.

Asked me what Doctor Who was and what he was a Doctor in.

Made me watch Friday Night Funkin modded videos for what felt like six hours and then had me watch her play animal crossing.

Told me that boyfriend from Friday night funkin was not good enough for girlfriend and that girlfriend should be with Sky from the Sky Mod (I don’t know what these words mean but I’m sure I agree)

Explained an Eevee YouTube fanfiction series in its entirety.

Wandered back and forth across the living room in front of me listening to music in headphones breathing incredibly loudly making me incredibly overstimulated (she’s got a cold it’s not her fault)

Explained her entire friend groups sexuality, gender and pronouns, mental illness, and the Eevee evolution they are when the rp.

Btw the first time I met her she asked me if I had ever had a fictional crush, I said yes, and she said “I only have girl fictional crushes” which through her mother for a loop she told me later, not bc she’s homophobic (she’s literally a lesbian) but because she had never met me before and was surprised how open she was around me.

Today proceeded to try to explain the nuances of bisexuality vs pansexualty. She has never been on tumblr or twitter but was definitely aware of the arguments.

Asked me what one direction is

Got mad that I named a character in a Pilot for a college film class after a girl who is her friend at a math tutoring place who I of course have never met and then yelled at me until I changed the name. I didn’t but she doesn’t know that.

Told me I need to vacuum my car. I do.

Handed me a warhead and watched me eat it with the most malicious look on her face as though she was tricking me or something.

Cooked all of her meals by herself, gets up and leaves for school on her own, does all her hw immediately, doesn’t swear, let’s the dog out every morning. Literally the most self sufficient child I have ever met (was able to do all of this three years ago when I started watching her) the only reason I’m here is in case of a freak accident or because she freaks herself out at night at can’t sleep.

Then she puts the pot she used to cook pasta on the floor for the dog to lick up…

Asked me what pecan pie is

#babysitting #the kids are alright #adventures in babysitting #fandom #one direction #9 1 1 fandom #supernatural #five nights at freddy's #friday night funkin #miraculous ladybug

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volfoss · 26 days

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Actually sorry I need to bitch and moan about this. I've been reading the san.dman (do not ever do this to yourself it's a hell unimaginable by anyone) and like... I really think it's interesting how much ga/iman is praised as super progressive on Tumblr for THIS specifically when it has so so much bad in it. About 10 issues in I started a game with how many women were in the issue who survived/were raped/nearly raped and it was insane how little women did not fit into these categories. One black woman lived and the rest were all burned alive. And he then later gave an excuse that it was bc of how Dream imprisoned Nada (16 year old African queen who fell in love with him. Its a very big mess and really sucks) in Hell so of course it influenced the entire world and so every black woman but ONE (who was introduced in the second to last issue) died and died violently. Not even to get into how it plays into the really violent misogyny that he had during the short story he wrote around the end of San.dman (when he was in his mid 30s) that was literally just one graphic rape scene to a minor after another (his snow white retelling is pretty infamous bc of how bad it is just by the summary but let me tell you that it is FAR worse to read). Like there's so so much that I think people do not discuss with his writing and it honestly just is very baffling that people hype him up given well. Everything that happens in San.dman. like the endless alone has a lot of... Well let's say interesting issues. Every single woman dream comes across wants to fuck him (to the point that at his funeral, it's 90% the women he was with/wanted to be with him and then a little from his siblings????), despairs entire character is literally just that she's depressed and coincidentally the most prominent fat character (and also naked all the time. Which they did seem to fix in the show but it's baffling how it's like her, one serial killer who nearly raped a woman before dream stops him, a guy that dies and I guess Abel if you squint for the fat rep) and then desire oh my god. I wish desire was written well instead of here's our nonbinary/gender fluid/genderless rep (cool in theory!!!) and then the fact that it (in the original series, she uses he she and it pronouns) raped a woman is dropped on your head and he is not at all regretful about it and ends up like.. taunting the victims granddaughter??? And delirium my god if there was ever a representation for born sexy yesterday and also being weird as fuck about mental illness it would be her. She's barely clothed most of the time, referred to as very very young most of the time and her mental illness (vague) is just kind of used as a joke a lot of the time? Like it's a funny joke that she doesn't remember stuff or that she's overstimulated or that she's using the wrong words or talking like a child. It's really weird because all of these characters have potential but they aren't really ever treated that way. Me when I get him for every single woman treated horribly!!!!!

#twist rambles #i am NOT taking any chances for this thus why its censored bc well. i don't want to deal w it lol #rape mention #misogyny #misogynoir #<- all for bl but im mad about this againnnn #sorry im just!!!!!! when i get him!!! like ppl do NOT know how bad it is and how bad it's handled #no notes on d/eath bc her writing is mostly ok minus the spinoffs but god I just. the way he treats women!! it's bad lmao #not even to get into the lgbt handling bc like.. i guess he was trying but man its so so bad. genuinely do not get me started on it #long post #<- it kind of is but the rage just kind of consumed me a little. like i dont get why he's this bad at it!!! i do actually but like god it #sucks. very good to read this if u want to blow him up already and want to strengthen that #im on a spinoff that everyone hates rn and like man its weirdly a relief that its not written by him. I'm excited to see the stuff caítlin #wrote bc maybe it'll be better. im back to the mines now but. know it's bad ok #and that SUCKS bc like there r characters i like. theres parts i enjoy.#8 was the only one i rly would recommend bc it works better than a lot of the stuff in it but man. yeah. it sucks to see the potential in a #media and then its like misogyny sledgehammer!!!!!

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occasional-pyrrhon · 4 months

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I need to know your most unhinged headcanons about Pyrrhon. Idk if you already have a post like this, but I need to know.

YAY YAY YAY OK. OK EVERY THING I'VE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HTIS GUY LET'S GO. MILLION PAGE LONG POST UNDER THE CUT

OK so what is this thang in the first place right. I think he's an alien. HEAR ME OUT GUYS HEAR ME OUT. So space seems really weird and vaguely eldritch in the worldbuilding right, the Kraken and the Pirates' appearances being robotic along with the Aurum, who apparently just Happened one day. I think he also Happened one day and just crashed landed onto earth meteor style, either coming from the sun itself or being the Aurum's flawed attempt at mimicking a god that got too out of control and developed free will. I mean he has bright green eyes and looks nothing like the other gods. Even HADES wears CLOTHES man. Fitting with space being mostly outside the domain of the gods, this weird little mini sun man was able to claim the Sun God title because no one else was using it, which is why the gods themselves are torn on if he's one of them. He isn't immortal but he does age slower than normal, he's a fairly recent annoyance among all the divine discourse

Him and Arlon are brothers! Sorta. They met as kids without any apparent families and Pyrrhon theorizes that they're connected, which Arlon goes along with. So they kinda *become* brothers in a way with my headcanons? Ja. They start out being kinda frenemies who don't really get along and are just sticking with this theory to figure out their pasts but they end up truly having the brothers relationships and being at eachothers' backs. Everyone else is shocked to learn about this every single time since they're such opposites. Arlon lends stability and Pyrrhon lends freedom and encourages leniency towards the whole "loyalty" thing, which evidently means less to him. 😌

The other popular headcanon I like is that his flame aura is controlled by his emotions. He can make it flare up for dramatic effect or cool it down if he needs to, but it's typically involuntary. It's usually not harmful to people, though he can easily burn things if he isn't paying attention and he's always warm to the touch. If he's calm it simmers down. If he's really, truly upset or hopeless it goes out. If he's excited or angry it burns brighter. If it turns white hot and hurts to the touch, you should probably run. :)

He's trans. "How is he 7ft tall?" Divine HRT will do that to you. "Out of everyone in the cast who would be way more fitting-" I like him. "Wasn't there something in smash about the gods' physical forms-" I do what I want always all the time forever.

OKAY so it's tough sometimes with characters who are intended to be insane with no further context because on the one hand that can be kinda fucked but on the other hand OUHHHHH. crazy guy who loses control to the orb was such a weird adhd awakening for me but baby if it wasn't an awakening. SO putting aside that it's obviously exaggerated and he was probably just intended to be insane with no nuance, I headcanon him as autistic and adhd with probably an array of Other Shit going on that I'm not qualified to pin down without feeling like it may be insulting. my mental illness pilled folks give your takes below or don't if you're uncomfortable with attatching stuff to characters like this because that's very justified I just hyperfixate on and relate to the worst specimens possible o7 you would not believe how many ocs I have that are just "let's do this bitch again and deconstruct all the dehumanization these guys always get while we're at it" follow my main artblog with my ocs plug plug plug plug

I think he would hate Hades as the apex of the irresponsibility and evil of the gods. HOWEVER Pyrrhon x Hades is just inherently super funny to me so its tough I kinda need to reconsile them. MY HEADCANON is that they dated for a bit when Pyrrhon didn't have a vendetta against the gods yet and was going after cred then when Palutena and Medusa yuri-divorced Hades felt the urge to one-up Medusa in some way so he ended things with Pyrrhon by saying he's homophobic. This in turn put Pyrrhon on a brief stint of homophobia that he thankfully recovered from when he started to listen to Limp Bizkit (unironically in every way of course) and decided that Fred Durst is the most beautiful man on the planet. Or will be. Kid Icarus ancient Greece with Nintendo you know how it is.

I'm growling and pacing ominously with a shadow over my eyes all the time over his underdeveloped motivations BUT from what we're given of his respect for Pit and his vendetta against the gods along with the heroic act I feel like he's kinda with Dark Pit on the idea of the gods constantly throwing everything off balance BUT the critical difference that turns him into a villain is that he thinks that if a true hero like HIM were the most powerful god he could fix all of this! See see HIS indulgence in the violence and warring is justified he doesn't WANNA incinerate the angel but it's just for the greater good. Fool tried to end the cycle of violence by becoming part of it!!!!!!! Everyone point and laugh!!!!!!!!

He's smart but he's also a dumbass but he can actually be a genius under the right circumstances but he's so so stupid. Right. He would put together a computer on his own from nothing but Vibes then think YouTube is a platform exclusively for fnaf letsplays because its the first thing he clicked on and he doesn't know how to search. He can determine his location by looking at the stars he also got lost in the department store yesterday. He can tell you about the Aurum for two hours he doesn't remember what he ate for lunch yesterday so he answers with som shit like the essence of heroism in the sandwich of destiny. He's so me he's all of us in a way .

He has mild psychic powers and he is NOT good at them 💔 he taught himself short range telepathy hence why he only really talks to the others in person until he gets his power up. He also tried to learn how to give visions and prophecies recieved upon touching his gem but it kinda just traps you in his adhd mindzone where he tries to keep up the illusion with cardboard cutouts on sticks.

Okay post canon time! Horray!!!!! The shorter more hyperspecific headcanons are after this. Tw for trauma and parallels to abuse until this section is done we're in projecting lane now.

A lot of details of what happens to him post-Aurum vary depending on what I'm drawing/writing at the moment like if he gets out on his own or has to be rescued after the war with Hades resolves, but generally he's trapped with them for a while with wavering control over himself. He develops an intense phobia of space and the Aurum afterwards despite them once being his biggest interests (<- PROJECTING.) His sense of personhood is very disrupted - he wasn't just controlled, he was assimilated and became one in the same with them with only shards of him holding on and resisting. He goes between never wanting to encounter them again to being nothing but a vessel who *must* return to them again no matter what it does to him, and he doesn't remember how to be a person without them controlling him. He completely stops believing he's a god in any way. He often zones out with the instinct that something else will be at the wheel until someone snaps at him and he's like huh wuzzat. Then probably plays it off as being inconsiderate since what people expect of him is easier than the truth.

He has the belief that the Aurum are attempting to take him again, even if they end up destroyed they're too powerful to him now to end that easily. They're *all* and they're *everywhere*. Since a lot of ptsd symptoms can feel like losing control it compounds quickly.

He has a habit of covering his mouth when he's upset. The feeling of those words and that smile stick with him.

I also think he'd have pretty messed up misconceptions towards "redeeming himself". With his broken identity he clings onto the idea of being fearless and acting the same way he used to, otherwise they "won". He would do stuff like accompanying Pit on a space mission and acting like it's no sweat while intermittently sneaking off to hide the breakdown. Why should he be afraid? It was *his* fault after all, and if he can't stop himself from being hurt it's just going to be *his* problem.

He starts wearing clothes to hide the scars he recieved on his chest, back, and limbs. He wants to look like NOTHING has changed, as much as possible. He starts returning to his old Nothingcore fit the more he heals from the events, because he doesn't like the feeling of clothes in the first place. he wears fingerless gloves and leg warmers because he can't stand the alternatives to either.

He also has a cane that's supposed to look enough like a staff to pass as one. His legs have been Pixels for the past couple years ok. Either way he's insecure about it and mostly uses it private, once again passing off his troubles in the department as his typical cringefail self don't worry about it 😁 👍

There's some mechanical alterations inside of him and like. I don't know how to explain my vision here except imagine the junji ito stuff turning into spirals story but with math and geometry and such. You can plug a bluetooth chip into his back scar and he's a literal wifi hotspot now. The quadratic formula is hidden somewhere in his femur as a fun easter egg. A lot of the changes are good for an impromptu living weapon but not for that weapon having an easy time afterwards, but it takes a while for him to reach out for help there, not just because of all previously mentioned but because he *hates* the idea of something going in and making "edits" to him again.

There's some more literal lingering effects from the Aurum - he can understand Morse code and binary and is compelled to read it out and translate it whenever he sees it, and sometimes those are the forms of communication that remain when the others go down, along with general detached computer speak. He *really* doesn't like others seeing this -- I like the idea of Arlon or Palutena teaching him signing to use in moments like this.

He is so touch starved my god. He probably wasn't getting much affection pre-canon in the first place but after being in space for 3+ years in a place where anything organic for miles is destroyed on sight, his body not being his own, and then going on to hide it all? Someone lays a hand on his shoulder and he just *melts*. He already feels like the affectionate back-breaking bear hug type in my mind so it's just. Auougghhhhhhhhhh. Yeah.

NO ONE IS HANDING HIM THE AUX CORD. EVER. His top artist on Spotify is Smosh. He listens to Lil Dicky and Your Favorite Martian. When it's a date and he needs to put on the more acceptable by society stuff he puts on ABBA and the Niel Ciceriga mashup albums. The ladder is most of his exposure to the wider music world he was BAFFLED when he found out hendrix wasn't actually singing about furries. I also think it would be really fucking funny if his main playlist with 2010 YouTuber Core has like Kid A interspersed in there. Thom York and the party rock guys are on the exact same artistic pedestal to him (you can decide if he's a real one for that)

Okay back to the less intense headcanons. All the main ones were at the top these are just little ideas or like stupid stuff.

He would NOT BE A MYSOGINIST. NO ONE GETS MY GUY. He's the most cringefail feminist on earth he was at the women's march tripping over the asphalt and face planting 30 times and when it was over they had to pick him up with a dustpan. HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM !!!

He figured all the fnaf lore out on his own but none of the gods gave a shit so he used the peak of his power to bestow maddening visions upon Markiplier's 20th removed great Greek ancestor. Hades did the same thing to MatPat's 20th removed great Greek ancestor just to muddy the waters and spite his ex

His favorite animals are snakes, cats, and dragons. When the others find out about him Going Through It post canon, Viridi begrudgingly makes immortal replicas of a snake and cat as gifts to him for emotional support

He would use his divine resilience to go out and hug poisonous creatures and beasts because he can

He would get so upset by like made up cartoon insults like in worlds where everyone's a dragon and they call eachother a pink-tailed coward and that kind of stuff right. If he got teleported into the geronimo stilton book universe and another mouse called him a chedderface he would have to be HOSPITALIZED.

He doesn't curse a lot and only does it under very specific circumstances that tick him off like if you called spongebob annoying he would curse you out

Talks to himself alone in rooms constantly. Has ytp verbal stims.

Has a thumbtack and string board not for like anything in specific its kinda just his replacement for a journal but for a guy who tries to find the connection between the weird waiter he met at girls' night to the Aliens

I have a genre of guys I call Stray Dog Youth who are just people I think would evoke a heroic pity response from him and the urge to take them under his wing and raise them into defenders of justice. Pit. Chicken Little. Fluttershy. Shadow the Hedgehog. Timmy Turner. Gohan. Malcom in the middle maybe I never watched it. But do you see my vision here. He respects this genre of person more than any god ever

STIM LORE 🔥 fist bumps, flying around in circles, saying him catchphrases and doing him poses, playing with fire in his hands and swirling it around. He's a hup and huh and woop and oops and wup kind of guy. Sometimes he yells CHOCOLATE STARFISH!!! to himself in fred durst impression.

He polishes his forehead gem a lot to be as striking and shiny as possible

His hair starts to turn ashy at the tips and hang down when it grows longer

He respects human life more than the average god. Protecting the earth is his ultimate goal but he'll justify many questionable sacrifices to achieve that

Panromantic Asexual 💪 he does not care about flirting or sex there are horrors to quell citizen. I mean even if he wanted to he couldn't so.

Oh yeah he uses citizens generally when talking about humanity and such, but citizen turns into a nickname for Pit in particular as a sign of respect.

He gives Pit exposure therapy training after returning to earth and learning about his pyrophobia. He also has talks with Palutena, one of the first gods he develops some respect towards and one of the first people to accept him back in, since they relate to eachother over the Chaos Kin incident.

He doesn't have a real temple and he's mostly a drifter, but he did set up shop at an abandoned human temple in the middle of nowhere. WORST crib imaginable. courage the cowardly dog style PC setup. Light up gaming in progress sign. Q-bert funko pop displayed like a treasured collectable.

He would be OBSESSED with old low budget sci-fi movies and similar genres of b-movies. He thinks The Amazing Bulk is the best movie ever made ever

He would be really good at games where the rules are just entirely decided by vibes and such he can understand them thoroughly. That one video of the guys using toy phones and xylophones like a card game with gamer rage mannerisms. Calvinball. Etc.

He can go a while without sleep. When he needs to he lays back in the sky and sleeps among the stars. This has led to many flock of owls attacks followed by meteor crash landing into a god's back lawn.

THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW but yeah those are the big ones 💞 thank you for opening the gates for me to be insanecrazy about my specialist guy on the planet 😁

#pyrrhon #kid icarus #kid icarus uprising #kiu #headcanons #not art

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gideongrovel · 4 months

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Bro 👏🏾 is 👏🏾 yapping 👏🏾 about 👏🏾 that 👏🏾 man 👏🏾 again!!! 👏🏾

I wish I could remember more about what my thoughts on E/nel were when I first watched S/kypiea all those years ago,,,,, i was like what 10?? maybe 11? maybe 12?? idk maths isn't mathing,, and idr if I met him first through the Funi dub, or though my copy of Grand Adventure on gamecube, or the manga itself I can't blame myself for not remembering since its been so fucking long,,, and OP is one of those things that's quite literally always been apart of my life,,,,, my obsession coming and going in waves, but still,,, idr it never not being a thing in my life,,,, 😭

but anywhoooo I have figured out a couple small pieces to the puzzle of why i have snapped all these years later, and why i want that man (E/nel)!!! Okay so since in my youth I use to ship with Z/oro (I do not anymore, i personally feel too grown for him, and im just not into him in a shippy way anymore) but when I was younger and into Z/oro, his S/kypiea outfit was my absolute favorite (gonna mention Grand Adventure again- id always pick that as his outfit in that game lol), but i think that was my main focus when watching/rewatching that arc back then lmao,,, And while im not religious now, i use to be a christian when i was younger,,, so E/nel's whole god shtick probs was an ick to me back then,,,, so thats also a potential reason of why i didnt feel any shippy feels to him when i was younger,,,, 🤔

but now in this current day and age,,, those barriers weren't there,,,,, god complexes are hot to me- i love blasphemy and i didnt have someone else drawing my attention,,,, so i think thats a couple reasons of why these feels arose,,, My preferences with characters i lust after is different now then it was back then, and he checks alot of boxes for me "maybe, just maybe, its mental illness innit" so its not surprising when i really think about it,,,,,, its just funny it took over a decade to like smack me in the face,,,,, especially cause ive seen the arc many of times so i had many chances for it to happen 😭😭😭

i cant find it but i saw diagram once, it was like two separate lines meeting, then going their separate ways, then meeting back up again,,, and thats what this feels like??? not in like a rekindled old flame way,,,, cause he never was a flame, he was just someone i knew,,,, idk i guess its more like an "Oh. Oh." moment,,, like actually catching romantic feel for him (and not just sexual ones like i originally thought it was) has felt kinda comforting in some odd way??? that may sound off the wall given the type of character he is lmao,,,,,

But my thoughts are like it was a "wrong place, wrong time" back in the day,,,, but now,,, now we found our ways back to each other, it may have taken some time but things have aligned perfectly,,, and we're together now, and that is what matters in the end,,,,

idk what im on about truly,,,, articulating my emotions for this man feels *make vague idk gesture* if you wasted your time reading this im legit sorry 💀 I just love E/nel alot,,,, and this development of feelings these past couple months has my head spinning

#my post #saskia don't look

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mcl38 · 6 months

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I personally think it’s not that nowadays Lando cares about Carlos less than Carlos does about him, I think it’s more about him getting fed up with repeated questions about his friendships with other drivers and with Carlos in particular, and actual journalists using these cringe words like ‘bromance’ and stuff, it’s annoying as fuck. He still answers that he gets along well mostly with Carlos and Max, so kudos to him for keeping it professional and not telling them to fuck off haha he’s literally asked about this all the time, like, everyone and their dog know by now who his friends are, journalists need to give it a rest already and ask him better questions

so like yeah, i do think its mostly that. lando hates few things more than people placing their own narratives on him, or thinking they know things abt his personal life that they dont. also, one of those few things (he hates even more) is cringe, or maybe in particular outdated-cringe - i genuinely think if someone mentions milk at him nowadays he might just curdle (ha) and die on the spot. so like. carlando and bromances in general hit BOTH of those spots. its as if theyre designed specifically to piss him off

but beyond that, i think uh. hm. how do i phrase this. i think fundamentally carlos and lando have slightly different attitudes towards competition, and also that.... i want u to bear w me on this one bc i say this w all my love for lando but i think carlos is just a bit more caring and sentimental as a person

what i mean abt the diff attitudes is hugely informed by this video i saw today (pretty sure @/vegasgrandprix linked to it so ill try to find it and insert it here!) where carlos said he'd maybe give a centimetre more leeway to fernando and lando when racing wheel to wheel. he goes on to say that that doesnt rly mean much and that hes touched with lando and fernando before so clearly it doesnt make a difference, but at the same time this is the first driver ive ever heard say this in any capacity. compare this with landos very straightforward 'once you're on track you don't think about those things anymore and all you want is to beat them' like. i genuinely dont think carlos features in landos thoughts at all when hes in the cockpit - which i wouldnt expect either! but apparently lando features in carlos's

i think u can rly see this when u compare what they both said abt singapore. lando, assuming carlos's racer brain works like his, says in all his interviews that carlos wouldve just done that for anyone and it doesnt make any difference that its them two. meanwhile, carlos fully explicitly says that he finds it more special bc he and lando were cooperating & managed to get a 1-2. that kind of clearly shows a difference in mindset beyond lando just not wanting to play the media game

abt what i meant saying carlos is a more caring person, in their relationship particularly - i just think hes always been rly attentive towards lando and has just like kinda kept doing it even after he moved teams. i rmbr watching their presser together a few months ago where carlos was being sooo delicate abt lando clearly being worse at golf bc he hadnt played in a while, & it rly reminded me of their dynamic back when they were teammates - while landos always found carlos funny and respected him as a racer, carlos was the one actively attentive to landos mood swings, self criticism, anxiety, etc. i think seeing lando at his (self-described) worst in terms of mental state has made carlos always harbour a sort of protectiveness towards him that lando cant and also isnt expected to reciprocate.

so like yeah i dont think landos lying when he says hes closest to max and carlos on the grid. he DOES get along w carlos and makes an effort to hang out w him when he can. i just think carlos has a slightly more open or emotional character, which reflects as a vague imbalance in their friendship

#landos a closed off independent little hag. he cant help it #his best friendships r w people who care abt him disproportionately while he pretends to b aloof and actually cares back #anon #ask #carlos #lando

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mbrainspaz · 1 year

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Christians going "Yeah I'm christian, go ahead and persecute me! I'm used to it!" is so sad and funny at the same time. Especially in America. You're not gonna get that from me hun. Like I'm gonna waste my energy talking to christians after I had to spend a decade deconstructing my own faith. Either you'll figure things out eventually or you'll double down until you're fully entrenched. As long as you leave non-christians alone that's your business.

I know if some burned out queer cowboy hobo had told 20 year old christian kid me what their adult life was really gonna be like...

"kiddo, I know you're a vaguely nationalist christian fundamentalist now but just wait until every aspect of your blessed social order fails you and you spend a little time homeless. Oh—you thought you couldn't be homeless if you just worked hard enough? Honeyyy. Your first 'christian' bosses won't even give you lunch breaks even though they live in mansions with their trophy wives. You got a degree so you could sell their scammy fake diet pills and live on instant potatoes with hot dog bites and sleep on the floor by the fireplace in your first drafty apartment like it was 1813. Also you have mental illnesses. Spoilers. No, you can't just power through ADHD. Yes it is a real thing. So is the family history of chronic depression your dad hasn't told you about yet. You think that's bad? Wait until he disowns you during the pandemic. Don't worry about the pandemic yet, but yeah, that's how you ended up homeless. Why didn't you just buy a house? With your christian husband? Ohhhh. Ooooof. Well let's gloss over the next few economic disasters but basically you're gonna nearly marry a guy next year until he loses his temper and destroys your trust. It's for the best though because he kinda turns into one of those right wing gun nuts a few years down the road. Dodged a bullet there! Literally lmao. Oh you... you want to know why you didn't become a missionary? So the church actually doesn't let 'single women' do mission work. Yeah... yeah it is to stop you from leading the single male missionaries astray. You kind of already knew where that was going. Don't worry, the misogyny only gets more blatant from here. Just wait until you're 25. Hey, remember how fun it was to sit with your parents in church? You get to do that for so many more years because there are no other unmarried 20-somethings in fundamentalist churches. If you leave and go to a different church your dad will disown you. He does that like 6 times though, so it does lose its sting. What were the other times? Um... okay so it was 'going to a church he didn't like,' 'being too single,' 'not praying enough' (don't ask me to explain that one, I'm still confused), 'having too many pets that might scare away the men,' and 'not voting for trump.' Oh! By the way, if you get a chance to go to a state fair and throw tomatoes at that guy in say... mid 2015, don't pass that up. You'll regret it. Especially while you're stuck living on a ranch with looney white nationalists in the aftermath of the 2020 elections. Oh shit—right! You don't even know white nationalists really exist! Wow. You've really never had to overhear a single conversation where white boomers fantasize about going downtown to do armed 'patrols' of black neighborhoods. By that point you'd realized you were very alone in a southern town that had already tried to off you in a multitude of disturbing ways. They weren't keen on the idea of you being queer either. I know you already know but you—yeah, you just assumed it would be easier to hide and go along with the status quo. Naaah. Nope. Not worth it. You only really wanted to do that so your parents would love you and that was a loss from the moment they put conditions on it. You could never have done enough to earn their love. They don't have it to give. That's on them though. Ok big question time: Do you still believe in god? Yes and no. Give it like... 14 times of people saying 'it's god's will' whenever something goes their way and another 20 of them accusing you of consorting with demons whenever you disagree. The pattern becomes pretty clear. Maybe you do still believe in god but definitely not your parents' god. And definitely not any god that would be on the side of empires and bigots. In fact, not any god that would let those powers claim him... if he had any power to stop them."

"But I do at least get a bunch of animals?"

"Oh yeah. Smeags is still alive. Right now I've got three dogs and a freaking horse that looks exactly like our favorite childhood stuffed animal."

"A HORSE!?"

#deconstruction #ex evangelical #conversation with my past self #10 years later #ramble #personal problems #be careful where you put your faith #imaginary conversations

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lacefuneral · 8 months

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this was written by a T/RF:

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but i do love that this person is under the impression that millennial trans gay men outnumber everyone else in every fandom (which isn't true by any metric). because this person encounters us enough to cause them some sort of psychic damage. which is awesome, actually.

the fact is, there is quite a lot of us in fandom space because there is a massive overlap in neurodivergency and transgender identity (to the point where there are many, many, many books written on the topic, and my own autism evaluation resulted in me being denied a diagnosis on the basis of my transness, as my evaluator felt that Trans was its own neurotype, and because you cannot Diagnose With Transness at a neuropsych eval, i was given a vague, non-commital "diagnosis" of Neurodevelopmental Disorder Unspecified despite fully meeting the criteria for both autism and ADHD in my results. and the neuropsych admitting to me that, without question, i am both of these things, but he refused to put this in my chart. and i remain unmedicated for this reason. fuck that guy. ANYWAY.)

neurodivergent individuals tend to gravitate towards Nerd Interests. and a lot of those people also happen to be transgender. so any given Nerd Subject will have trans people there as a result. it's a "fork found in kitchen sink" situation. and to get mad at finding a fork or three in your kitchen sink is, well.... deeply funny.

tumblr as a website, as well, is a space that is primarily carved out by the LGBT community, which differs from the more cis, more het presence of reddit (which isn't to say there isn't also a trans presence on reddit; they are just very different environments and trans people tend to socialize within their own communities). and so this website, moreso than reddit, is where someone will feel more comfortable saying "i think captain kirk is a trans man." again, you are looking in a sink and finding forks and getting mad about it.

anyway, keep it up boys! lets make more characters transgender and mentally ill and continue to find ourselves in media and have fun in fandom space (which is what fandom is for) while people like this, who have no joy, who are close-minded, seethe

#btw where is this person finding millenial gay trans nerd men. because i'm single

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frankiistein · 3 months

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ok so some more thoughts related 2 last time

breadavota consistently does this writing choice of glossing over extreme events and "watering down" emotional aspects, examples from the top of my head:

- the whole thing with jacques where he superficially acts like a self-absorbed unappreciative bitch living his spoiled princess life, a perception reinforced by how were told life outside the court sucks but were rarely shown glimpses of in what ways

pushing the point that jacques parents loved him and didnt abuse him, even the bonus animatic of his childhood ("quiet") shows other village kids like him instead of the stereotypical bullying, he had friends in college, people on the jesennian court tried to be nice to him etc., jacques already few itneractions with people who arent media are intent on portraying him as this whiny little baby that i think its easy to skip over the implication that jacques is generally powerless in their society

- the nature of the experiments done on bon and the personal relationship they had with jacques and media as parent figures and how that affects their style to parent bien

- biens own experiences growing up in exile and how that lead to his weird incestuous obsession with bon

- ava traumadumping how media usurped her and entirely skipping the ending of her story where she describes the recursive panopticon

- the spinal cord surgery event which we dont see at all, we just know it happened-and interestingly enough the sarbien scenes right after all hide bien showing only sars pov

- receptions "birth" and the implications of their dependence/loyalty on media

- literally all of bread's pre-trial existence

hiding backstory stuffs not a unique choice at all ofc but when paired with how alot of the story is sliceoflifey or at times written with this... detachment? like metaphorically the camera is far away from the scene, 4 me i think it gives off an interesting atmosphere. its like a portrayal of mentally ill or traumatized ppl where instead of the "nicer" portrayal of delving into their internal feelings and contextualizing their maladaptive behaviors with clear presentations of the trauma that made them that way, alot of the characters are just unpleasant.

al niente, the sarbien scenes and it always rains also add a layer of complexity to the decision to gloss over certain "major" events: the dominant one is portrayed as sympathetic or at least their emotions are delved on, and theyre always written in a monologue style where they are talking to the person theyre dominant over and that person doesnt say a single word in the text.

we get an entire monologue of bon grieving bien but also subtly insulting him, as if bons loss of bien is more tragic for than it is for bien himself even

sar treats bien "kindly" but has this condescending ableist subtext to all their interactions

and it always rains is probably the one i like the best. in a story where people get cut in half onscreen and where supernatural magical alien monsters exist one of the most uncanny chapters is as "mundane" as media drowning jacques in a bathtub. and the writing style of that chapter, the surreal dreamlike way of writing where its not fully clear whats happening (if media didnt explicitly say they were in the bathroom it might be hard to tell that what hes even doing to jacques), his unawareness that hes killing someone because hes in this trancelike states of being preoccupied with a vague feeling of "love", the way jacques, like bien, never says a word or has their pov explicitly shown

like, the story doesnt completely remove those characters hinting at what went "wrong" or how they try to cope with it. but the story frames them in such passing ways that its easy to gloss over if ur not obsessing over every line like i am lol, and again the story is able to do this so effectively by using character monologues or a snarky narrator that words those attempts at seizing control of their own lives in a funny but dismissive way

i think like a duck does this best by framing jacques as a funny quirky schizo and the narration being biased to medias pov

jacques desire for real food is about his eccentric beliefs in the Psychic Differences Between Real And Object Porridge, wanting to be the best-dressed person in the grocery store is silly childish conceit and also media thinks its attention whoreish but in a #niceguy way, being concerned about having chips in his brain is stupid and irrational never mind the fact he lives with a guy who does in fact put chips inside of people (its like their whole thing lol!!!), eating the free samples when media isnt looking is idiotic of him

i think all the other me/ja interactions are like this too but they all have this strong tone of jacques being a mentally not-all-there child and media being like a pseudo-parental figure with a bias of making jacques look stupid, irrational and immature

this especially:

the story "slips" by admitting jacques acts thid way because his minor harmless quirks r rly the only control he has in his life, and then immediately stupidifies him again by sarcastically saying hell act like a rational adult by pretending to be dead

its not just jacques but a good number of the characters: the story hints to some traumac it builds up the idea that were gonna tell u what it is then... it immediately backtracks into how stupid and irrational they are for acting that way

this separate observations r disjointed asf ikik but taken all together they give 2 me this unique atmosphere of the harms and abuses the characters facing as "realer" and somehow more justified, where the victims of not just other characters but the world they live in itself r framed by the narrative as pathetic childish idiots for no "real" reason, where acknowledgment of their sensitivies is done in passing and portrayed jokingly, its a story that simulates the experience of being an outsider whose struggles are treated as "invalid"

and the multimedia and metafictional format of the story is great for this: the way important emotional points are relegared as bread crumbs that are shoved into a wholeass diffetent website, the story as embodied by the narrator doing all that shit above (even the whole thing w/ the footnote of "this is totally part of the story and not a recap where we infodump 2 bread bcuz i cant be assed to show her learning things naturally"), and a good amount of text being done as quick flashing in the videos or written in rpp's signature disorganized schizospeech where half the words arent even real

its a story about the alienation of being a mentally ill/trauma victim but an unsympathetic "problematic" one, and the framing of the story embodies that: its not a heros journey where the story invites you as a reader to "immerse" in the story and see urself in the characters shoes and learn to empathize with them, its one where "settings" are characters and on a meta level the story as the setting itself is also like a "character" who frames the people in it as these irrational things. even the marginals themselves who are universes with inhabitants-the characters are the worlds and the people inside of them are invisible and unable to grow w/o parasitizing on someone else

breads the protagonist whose own comic is mostly about whats happening to everyone else, biens the antagonist who has no reason to be, the herald of the apocalypse is stuck ina house in the middle of nowhere, anthony gets traumatized and we barely even see that because he immediately gets turned into a character that acts more like a robotic husk than a human being, the literal god of the story is somewhere (but who tf knows) and Most Beloved Local Princess Best Dressed In The Grocery Store Most Important Woobie Character is functionally a pet of the one who adores him the most.

even media, arguably the most developed character (and fittingly at that considering the concept of marginals being viruses and "narratives" that steal the spotlight from the story of the living universe) is sometimes subject to this treatment, where we "know" being a marginal is unpleasant but we see him mostly just... lusting over jacques, the desire to make his entire world one Very Familiar guy if it means not having to look at or think about anything or anyone else around him including the responsibility of being an alien president

bread wants to CHANGE HER NAME bien wants to COLLECT MERCH AND PLAY ON THE PIANO jacques wants to HAVE TEA PARTIES AND LARP BEING DEAD media wants to GET MARRIED AND LIVE IN DOMESTIC BLISS and shit even sar "lets do big cosmic goals together" is out there fucking roleplaying christmas in poland

the repeated thematic symbolism of characters experiencing the world "as it is" but those perceptions feeling foreign and insignificant, of things being seen out of "the corner of ur eye" instead of facing them headon, where a marginal is a manifestation of unpleasant memories they try to repress, replace and gaslight themselves into being About Other Things, etc. etc., where every character is simultaneously Just Some Guy but also THE GUY

breadavota is weak if you try to view it as a typical narrative of how characters go from a to b but man is it good as a overall experience of being a Schizoism Simulator. its a story where every character cant face the feelings and experiences they have in the past so they turn those feelings into objects and punt them into space.

fittingly in a story about marginal notes, escapism and the eyes of reality itself unable to watch the world around it head-on the "bonus stories" propel the narrative in a way the "main plot!" doesn't quite

impending apocalypse? nay. jacques goes to the grocery store for the first time

#the most schizoid schizotypal to ever #breadavota #long post

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dyketubbo · 1 year

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Transfem CWilbur hcs. Now.

why anon i am so glad you would honor me with this request

i think that cwilbur would probably keep her name because she looked up like name meanings and shit and was like hoooolllyyy shit my name is cool as fuck actually. i do also like the idea of her having a name based off of one of wilburs songs though. i admittedly misremembered vienna as sienna but i think both are cute so either of those also work as names for her

cwilbur to me is very like. obviously she knows about trans people her son is trans (i also like to see cclingy as trans but ctommy would have not transitioned yet and ctubbo just doesnt think to tell anyone if they dont think its necessary) and shes very proud of him! but shes also like. well at least fundy enjoys being a man because i sure dont this is miserable and everyone within a 5 mile radius immediately raises an eyebrow. i think being in pogtopia fucked her up about it because she started seeing people as being Afraid of her and for a reason she couldnt place being a Big Scary Crazy Man hurt in more ways than one but she was spiralling too hard to really analyze those feelings

and then in limbo all she Has is her own thoughts. and she comes back and shes manic and she considers telling everyone but but but but. tommy is looking at her with a shocked expression and tubbo isnt even talking and the new kid is trying to shield tubbo from her and suddenly all the feelings from pogtopia start rushing back and shes like oh. not enough to stop the mania but enough to sting hard enough, like a pin that she puts in the thought itself for another time

i thought the utah reveal was very funny. i also wish wilbur got to talk to more people, and i think that itd be interesting for him to talk to ghostboo whos like god i was SO scared for people to know this "real me", the me that everyone would be scared of, but now that i dont care about any of that anymore im free!! and wilbur would also talk to like. idk various others including more genuine convos with eret and with all of it eventually shes able to get to a calm resolution of. i need to be somewhere else when things are good enough that i can leave

and cdream dies (<-fully talking in terms of my rewrite now) and wilbur makes sure tommy is okay and everything and Then something similar to the utah reveal but like. slightly less mentally ill happens. wilbur is still sorta vague and tommy gets panicked and pissed thinking wilburs about to commit suicide again and wilburs like oh god no i just. i need to be somewhere else to change without everyones eyes on me. i dont like this me i think theres something deep inside me thats broken and im trying to repair it but i cant repair it if im This me. and tommy talks about how its all just One wilbur, just going through changes like everyone else but tommy and the people who matter love wilbur, no matter what kind of wilbur hes being, because hes still himself and thats the person they love, no general or president or ghost from the past, just wilbur. whoever he wants that person to be yada yada

and it sort of Clicks for wilbur in a sense. oh, this is all just one me, and im in charge. and people stick by me because im me no matter how much i change. and i think i know what changes i need to make (around this point is like. i think this would trigger the acceptance of ghostbur in a sense. i have complicated feelings about the ghosts but just know he and wilbur would truly be the same person through and through now). but i still need to go away for a bit. just a little. and tommy trusts her and she leaves for a bit and takes hrt and takes a while just to know that she likes the changes and when she does know she likes the changes she decides ok. this is who i want to be. this is Me. and comes back eventually to heal with everyone else too

misc hcs: i think she would actually prefer relying on hrt and breast forms to full top surgery. also dont think hed care about bottom surgery. she would still like her big coats and sweaters but she'd also wear skirts more often. maybe not dresses though unless its a formal event. also think she would grow out her hair a bit but not that much. in general like.. she doesnt change That much. shes still wilbur soot. but shes happier now and she looks more comfortable, like this is the self that she wants to be. i think she would feel like whatever broke inside her was slowly being patched back together

(and eventually, she realizes there was never anything broken about her in the first place. and she sits on a balcony and she still gets an intrusive thought about jumping but she knows she doesnt want to, not anymore. shes alive, and shes herself, and shes making the most of it.)

#angel answers #wilbur #dsmp #transfem c!wilbur #ig i may as well make a lil tag for her huh #vienna soot #<-just for tagging purposes if i talk about her in the future #jubilee is also a cute one but that would be very mentally ill to get her name from the song directly about suicide #even if itd be interesting as a 'death of the old self' type metaphor #but i think wilburs story works best as an acceptance of the self. no more suicide. no more death. just learning how to enjoy life again.#or maybe even for the first time

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justanotherfanwriter · 2 years

Text

wip drabble

A lot of people don’t like huntlow b/c they feel Hunter should go to therapy first, which is valid but still funny b/c im mentally ill, dealing w/some *things*, and i’ve never thought “ya know what would make this worse??? Kissing a girl.”

so anyway here’s a wip drabble for an post-unity day idea where Willow, afraid she’ll die without ever having her first kiss, asks Hunter (raised by a American “all women are thots” Puritan) to do her a solid (as a friend, because he hasn’t had his first kiss either), and every teenage hormone he’s ever been suppressing just fucking hits him all at once, changing his whole life trajectory. Because that would be the funniest shit to watch. This particular drabble specifically focuses on Hunter, obviously in lust with Willow, pre-first kiss to establish he’d be down if she asked.

c/w: very vague allusions to masturbation but in a “it’s a sin” sort-of way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay,” Willow announced to the group outside the house, letting the front door swing shut behind her, “let me change; I’ll be right there!”

“You made it,” Hunter looked up from where he was tying his shoes, “how was work?”

“They let me leave like five minutes early, so I hustled over here as fast as I could,” Willow stopped to smile at him, and his gaze lingered on a bead of sweat sloping its way down her neck. His heart panged uncomfortably around his chest, watching the little drop until it disappeared under the front collar of her shirt.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t let them leave without me!” Willow turned back down the hallway and ran into the girls’ room to change. Alone. In the girls’ room. Right there, next to the room he slept in.

“Okay,” he croaked, scowling at himself a second later. He didn’t have time to think about stuff like that. He usually hated when he thought about stuff like that. It made him feel slimy and cheap, but from what he could gather, puberty was just like that.

When he was at the Castle, he’d give himself one tiny insignificant 15 minute slot of time every two months to relieve the slimy pressure. For the most part, it had been an easy, methodical schedule to maintain. There was always something going on—terrifying or not—to distract him from his body, and on top of it all, it wasn’t like—like he had much of an imagination to get things going. All the people at the Castle were far too old, and the Coven Scouts were always wearing masks; there was just a lot of things going on in his life that made it difficult.

Now though—

“Okay, okay,” Willow came running out, and his gut twisted in on itself, “do I look dumb. Be honest!”

She twirled around in front of him fast enough that the hem of her sundress lifted off her legs, exposing a flash of skin that made his hand twitch. Sometimes Willow said that she wished her thighs were smaller; the perverse part of himself that needed to shut up wouldn’t allow him to agree.

“Well?” She asked as the skirt of her dress settled back into place.

“You don’t look dumb,” He breathed, taking his eyes off her thighs. He didn’t think Willow had ever looked dumb before, but the thought of saying that out loud was too big of an idea.

“You better not just be saying that,” She teased. Then, her eyes widened, and she snapped her fingers, “Oh! We should bring some water! It’s hot out today.”

His toes curled in his sneakers as he thought about heat, sweat, and sundresses. Hunter didn’t think he minded the hot all too much.

“Sure,” He stood up robotically, making intense eye contact with anything that wasn’t her, “I’ll get some bottles.”

“I’ll help. Hold on,” Willow chirped, opening up the door. “We’re getting water bottles, be right out!” She called to the others, who voiced their appreciation. Then, she was back in front of him, flushed from the heat and smiling, and it took him a moment to remember how to walk, and when he finally could, it was as if he was hyperaware of his every move.

He had never considered it before but did he walk weirdly? And when he was just standing there, did he stand weirdly? Did he hold his hand out awkwardly when she handed him water bottles? Was he staring too much? And titan, why couldn’t he talk?

His tongue felt like cotton in his mouth as he nodded along to her stories about work. Today, someone had told her she was overwatering a plant, her; it was evidently ridiculous.

“Ugh, and it’s like, I couldn’t get under the shade all day,” Willow complained, bringing a cold-water bottle to the back of her neck. Hunter watched as Willow’s eyes fluttered closed in relief, and something akin to electricity ripped right through him as she moaned with pleasure.

“That feels so good,” She sighed, and Hunter tensed, swallowing thickly.

Please, something deep inside his mind cried, please don’t forget this, while another part of him yelled, Look away! Look! Away!

“Y-yeah,” His voice cracked, agreeing for some stupid, dumb reason. When she started to giggle at his expense, every part of his brain collectively decided it would be okay if the world swallowed him whole.

“That was a bad one,” She smiled, pointing out the crack, and he forced himself to laugh with her.

#huntlow #wip drabble #idk if ill continue tho #unless theres legit interest but i bet there's someone out there who's already done this like way better already lmaooooo #i just love a good awkward coming-of-age story

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astriiformes · 1 year

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What are some things you really like about the Locked Tomb? Amy specific characters, scenes, thematic motifs, memes? And (if you feel like it) why?

The answer to this is Many Things, which is one reason the series has taken up residence in my brain for good!

My favorite characters are probably Palamedes and Harrow; Pal because I love a good nerd who is also very kind and his whole qpr-flavored relationship with Camilla is so important to me, and Harrow because. Well. There are sure some reasons I have been really vibing with characters who are mentally ill disasters recently, and I think she's a particularly interesting and sympathetically written one. But I love so many other characters in the books too. One thing I really adore about the series is that it's got a 10/10 ensemble cast. Stories with really large casts of interesting characters are my favorite, and TLT has so many good ones. It's delightful.

....Which also ties into one of the other things I love about the books. I have. A lot of thoughts about what TLT has to say about relationships, and specifically that it does so in a way that really works for me as an aro person. The fact that the whole Lyctoral process (and its variants) reads like an exercise in "Hey, what if Drift Compatibility were way more fucked up" works so much better for me as a thesis on love than what many works of fiction have to say about it, and the idea that it can be both a positive/negative force, and that none of that is in any way restricted to one kind of human connection is. So much better and so much more interesting than what you usually see when fiction tries to say something about love and what it is and how it impacts us.

(Also, going to keep things kind of vague here, but for my friends who haven't read Nona yet you might want to skip over this next paragraph, just to be safe)

That was something I was already musing heavily on before NtN, and that I really liked about the series, because as early as the first book you have a lot of different things happening in the neromancer/cavalier relationships. But the most recent book really hit me in the gut with that. I remember I read an interview with the author that mentioned the "Life is too short and love is too long," line and I knew it was going to mess me up badly (although I didn't know if it was just a theme the book was going to dig into or an actual quote) because things of that, like, "better to have loved and lost" ilk really get to me. But I did have some ideas about what relationships it would be most relevant to, and I was VERY wrong, and when I hit the point in the book where it was actually said, I bawled my eyes out -- as expected, but also for totally different reasons than I'd been prepared for because that whole conversation is just. Not the kind of thing you get to see between characters with that kind of relationship, usually. I am still verklempt about it, honestly.

Anyways, 10/10 books series, I am so excited to see how it wraps up because I really feel like Tamsyn Muir is going to manage to stick the landing with these. Her writing style alone is such a delight and has given me a lot to turn around in my head, as someone who also likes telling stories that are both dark and funny and try to do some unconventional things. Not saying I am on her level but man was her writing style designed to cater to me specifically.

#f: life is too short and love is too long

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