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#its just that theres so so much of the same formula and not every small arc they do isa banger
perenlop · 1 year
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so sad watching someone go through each episode of a multi season show and they just get more and more exhausted as the seasons just get worse
#both about drake's mlp liveblog and about the 7 hour spongebob ranking LOL#i forgot how many episodes of spongebob were just plain mean-spirited and i fully agree with him when i say that like#*when he says#they're not problematic or the worst episodes of all time and ''its just a comedy'' but then the mean spirited stuff isnt funny#its just not fun to watch. like black comedy can be really good but like it has to actually be enjoyable#mlp thankfully doesnt have that same mean spirited issue or anything like i think i likelater seasons more than most ppl#bc i got into the show finally when the movie came out. so im used to alicorn twilight and baby flurry heart and. kinda starlight.#but like the tone absolutely just gets weirder as it goes imo. like watching season 1 i can see why ppl prefer it#bc its very charming and later seasons kinda lose that. like ''the magic of friendship'' stops being like a metaphor#and there was sorta less focus on cute lessons about ''listen to your friends when they reach out! ask for help!'' that made the elements wo#work#and friendship somehow becomes like this magical unspeakable force thats barely studied and only ponies understand for real#so they have to teach other people what friendship is so they can also be magical. and how having friends just redeems u immediately#idk if im describing it right but it just feels weird. like in the movie w twilights dramaticline like#''friendship didnt fail me... i failed friendship.'' like that wouldve sounded more natural if she said ''my friends'' instead#idk its not a huge deal but it takes away from the charm for me bc it feels less like power of friendship and more ''this is so mystical''#echoed voice#id say i think this is me also with pokeani but like. idk i feel like thats kinda different inthat its not seasonal rot#its just that theres so so much of the same formula and not every small arc they do isa banger#the casts also shift now and then so it doesnt feel like characters other than ash haveto forget things all the time to function
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thoi2020 · 3 years
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u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????
hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?
pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).
revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.
analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).
make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 
practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.
for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:
stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.
ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 
now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.
and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.
also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.
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All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:
Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom
Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.
Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:
Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one
Yakuza 0
Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 
The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.
Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.
The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.
Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).
As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 
0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.
Shovel Knight
This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.
ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK
Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign
Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE
King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.
Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.
Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize
Nier Automata
I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists
Metal Gear Rising 
Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.
The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is
Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time
raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies
BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME
Bosses just rule
one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.
Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 
For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.
story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.
also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all
Final Fantasy XV   
For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.
This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party
(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)
I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 
all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience
the giant monsters are cool
Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game
Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available
Doom
ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL
i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush
fun game good
Undertale
I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers
Persona 5 
Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 
Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story
No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay
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cloudbattrolls · 5 years
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Coward Mont Blanc
Maidel Juzuxt | Present Night | Derevnya | Octavian Musical Arts Studios
Everyone calls it OMAS, or Oh, Masterfully Aimed, Shithead if they’re not fond of Treble. Even if they’re on the list of people who won’t kick him out of a room after ten minutes, they might still toss it off, teasing, but with an edge of bile.
It’s one of the reasons you get along with him, despite how different the two of you are. 
“So!” He says, plucking at his suspenders. “What’s got you in such a sulk, Maidel-girl? Or is it boy today.”
You’re in one of the studio’s dance rooms, one that’s empty at the moment since the next class won’t be for hours. Mirrors cover its walls, and overhead glowworm lamps dot the ceiling, giving off light even as they’re in stasis. Treble can feed, wake, and rearrange them at his will if needed for a choreography practice, as well as brighten them with the right formula. 
Right now they’re giving off a low yellowish glow as they sleep, clinging to the gray ceiling. It bathes your face in a sickly cast, or maybe that’s just your mood as you stare into one of the mirrors, clad in a suit that you look absolutely horrible in.
“Boy.” You say, but there’s not much spirit in it. Gender isn’t very important right now; it’s part of your bigger problem, but only in a small way. 
Sometimes you think it’d be easier if you just had no chest to worry about, and certainly sometimes you hate having to leave off your binder or worry about damage, the kind your psi can’t really repair fully. 
Other times you think rumblespheres at least give people something other to look at than your face or stomach. Not that they’re impressive, but at least it’s something. 
“What’s got you so down in the dumps, Maidel-boy? You nervous? Don’t be nervous, my cool cat! This joint will love you.”
That gets a small snort out of you, mostly because of Treble’s ridiculous speaking manner. It’s been perigees and you still don’t believe he can naturally talk that way, no matter how much he swears up and down he was hatched with it.
You turn a little, looking at yourself from another angle in the mirror, your hair pulled back into a ponytail so everyone can see your face. Great. You put a finger to one cheek, but lightly, to not ruin the makeup covering your freckles.
Treble leans in slightly, his eyebrows raised and ears flicking slightly. His aren’t nearly as mobile as yours, but you know what he’s thinking.
“I look better this way.” You say. “A little. Don’t try to tell me freckles are cute again, I’m not buying it.”
Not much you can do about your face in general. Your hair is okay. then there’s your body.
You’ve always been on the heavier side, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look so stupid on you.
Highbloods being big fits them like a shell on a scuttlebeast. They have the tusks, the intimidation, the big sharp horns to go with it. Their fat doesn’t look like weakness; it only makes them look stronger, heartier, able to dominate.
You’ve been mistaken for blue twice, when you were wearing heavy clothing and goggles against the steam and snow. You were alarmed, then flattered, then a little depressed. 
Treble just clicks his tongue and shakes his head like you’re a silly, mildly disobedient lusus. “Maidel, Maidel, Maidel. Even if you don’t like them, doesn’t mean not a single troll in that joint won’t! You got to be honest about who you are! That’s the only way to make your brand.”
It takes a force of effort to not remind Treble that just because he keeps showing off who he is to the whole world, (despite getting laughed at and kicked out of multiple places) it doesn’t mean you want to go through the same.
That’d be cruel; Treble’s odd, but he’s been kind to you, and it’s hard to hate a troll who isn’t any more good looking than you but so much braver.
Even if sometimes you wish you could. 
“I don’t need a brand.” You mutter. “I just want to sing.”
When you’re finally on the stage, finally manage to forget where you and who you are and what you look like, that makes it all worth it. When you sing, you’re somewhere else, someone else. People have actually clapped for you before, and it wasn’t all just polite applause.
Treble loves to babble about how you could be the next big thing. All you want is to keep feeling that way for the rest of your life, even for little bits at a time. It’s enough.
He pauses, perhaps aware of the usual argument and realizing you don’t want to hear it. He almost chews on his claws, raising two to his mouth but he’s been trying to stop lately and drops them. 
“Maidel.” He says, gentle, which makes the hairs on the back of your neck prick up. “Singing aside, you really want to have this sort of bad juju brewing in you the rest of your natural life, my man?” 
“It doesn’t matter.” You say, trying to be dismissive, but dismissive from you sounds about as believable as a honk from a limeblood and Treble’s face is understandably if irritatingly skeptical. 
“‘Course it matters! You telling me you’re okay just going ‘aw, nuts, I hate how I look’ for all your sweeps? You gotta change yourself, or - ”
“ - change your bulbs, yes.” You sound a bit more testy than you’d like, but he’s told you this about ten times before.
“I tried to diet and exercise for a whole perigee, Treble. Aside from making me miserable, it barely did anything. I lost three pounds. Three pounds in that whole time! I don’t know what’s wrong with my stupid, garbage, messed up - ”
“Whoa! You really want to hate yourself that bad, man?”
You realize you’re breathing hard, eyes wide and - in the mirror - you see a hint of orange in them. 
Groaning, you cover your face with a soft palm, dragging your fingers through your curls.
“Olives are supposed to be lithe and muscular. Or else average looking, since everybody likes to say we’re the most boring caste.” You say, bitter. “Even being average like you would be better. Nobody thinks you’re ugly. They just think you’re normal.”
Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t care right now.
Treble plucks at his tie thoughtfully, but you can see a trace of pain in his eyes that wrenches your digestion sac. You’ll apologize to him later.
“Do people really tell you you’re ugly, Maidel-boy?” He says, curious. 
You snort. In a way, that’d almost be better.
“Hardly ever.” You admit, and he opens his mouth but you wave a finger and press on. “They don’t have to! They don’t even notice me, good or bad, compared to everyone else I know. They’re all pretty. None of them would ever consider a troll like me to be an option in any quadrant.”
You sound pathetic, even to yourself. It’s not like you expect the trolls you know to date you, or that you’d particularly want to date them in the first place. 
It’s how you’ve seen Riccin flirt, seen Pheres flirt, seen them have quadrants. Have people interested in them. Seen them know they’re beautiful, that they can get trolls just by being themselves.
Must be nice.
“So...what brought all this up from its deep dark spot, huh?”
You look at him blankly.
“Usually you’re a little down in the dumps, but not fit to yowl about it.”
You flush slightly. You guess you did raise your voice more than you meant to. 
“I’m sorry.” You say, throat tight. You shouldn’t even be talking to Treble about this. He has a moirail, a teal who works at one of the universities. You have no idea why he takes so much time with you to start with.
Especially if this is how you treat him.
You’d rather dive out the window than answer, but you owe him that much.
“I have an ash crush.” You admit, and it feels like a dirty word, a curse. Maybe it is. You have to be cursed if you’re stupid enough to have feelings for Riccin, who’s practically a clown, and who’s never cared about you.
Maybe it’s some messed up form of self-harm.
Treble looks puzzled, and for good reason.
“So why’re you all torn up about how you look?” 
Ash isn’t about that, is the clear implication. You almost laugh. If only he knew.
“Riccin wants pretty trolls in every quadrant.” You say, staring into the mirror at the disappointing image with a suit on a too-round figure. “Their kismesis and their ex ash are both little, skinny trolls, with pretty faces. And they’re close with Pheres, and he’s the same.”
Then there’s you, who’s as heavy as any two of them, not to mention that they think you’re dull as ditchwater. Even if you wanted to pursue this - if you were so blindingly stupid - how could you prove them wrong? You’d wear yourself out trying.
Not to mention that Vide would probably cull you. She seems like she’s still interested in them, and for all you know they might still be interested in her too. Riccin doesn’t give up easily.
“I think you’re feeling a bit too sorry for yourself, Maidel-boy.”
You glare at him, then sigh. He chuckles.
“So you got a hopeless crush. Happens to us all. Why let it mess your groove up so much, man? If there’s no worth wondering if you can, put your bulbs into what you are good at! Which is: belting out the tunes and making us both a little cash, hm?”
You snort. With Treble it all comes back to money or fame. Given how hard he works for it, you can’t blame him too much. The chances of an olive making it big - or even being an agent for anyone who does - are minimal. Somehow he still tries, still teaches and manages and performs, no matter who mocks him, no matter how many times he gets chased off.
“Okay.” You say. “Let’s go.”
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fluffyasra · 5 years
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Apprentice Questionnaire!
I figured, what better way to introduce my MC (and myself, and this blog) than by filling this out?! 
What is their full name? Elit Aroha Wingate
Zodiac sign: Aquarius (her birthday is February 14th)
In detail describe how they look: She is fairly short in stature, and a little chubby. She has long rosy blonde hair that falls in big, loose waves. She has a smattering of light freckles across her nose and cheeks, with a few light ones on her shoulders. Her eyes are a dark green and she has long, dark lashes. She has a small, straight nose, and ears that are ever so slightly larger than average, which she is very self conscious about. Although she is very soft, she has surprisingly small, bony wrists, and small hands and feet. 
How old are they? 21 years old
What clothes to they like to wear? She usually wears a loose white blouse that sits off her shoulders, and burgundy harem pants. She likes anything that’s comfortable and makes her look mysterious. She doesn’t like to show off her figure, although when she does she often gets complimented on her hourglass figure. 
What’s their favorite piece of clothing? A pink square scarf made of silk that she was given as a gift, although she can’t remember who gave it to her. She likes to use it to tie back her hair. 
Any piercings? Only two in her ear lobes. She’s afraid of the pain of other piercings. 
Do they have any other jewelry they wear? She has a rose quartz necklace, on a long leather thong. She also has a gold ring with a small heart-shaped ruby, and a matching bracelet, that she wears all the time. 
Any tattoos? No. She admires them on other people, but doesn’t have any of her own. 
How old are they? -//-
What do they smell like? She smells like jasmine, neroli, mandarins and Asra’s smoky tea.
What are their four trinkets? A small opal, her ruby ring, an elegant but chipped tea cup, and her pink slipper. 
GOVERNMENT MANDATED FERSONA A cat
What kind of magic are they good at? She is very creative and enjoys magic that reflects this. However, she can also be studious when necessary, and is able to quickly master even complex spells, as she is a fast learner. 
What kind of magic are they bad at? She has never been good at any kind of offensive magic, as she is too afraid of harming anyone around her to practice.
Of the four, six or seven magical elements which are they most connected to? Four: fire,air water earth. six: fire,air,water, wood,earth, metal. Seven:fire, air, water, wood, earth, metal, aither. Elit loves to be around water, which is reflected in her magic. She loves swimming, rainy weather, baths...anything that means she can be around water.
What does their gateway look like prior to their memory loss?  What does it look like afterwards? Prior to her memory loss, it’s lots of pink and gold tones. It looks like a sunset over a lake. Fluffy clouds, shimmering sunlight. Afterwards, it’s the same place, but all the colours have faded. There’s a silvery haze over the whole scene now. 
Do they have a familiar? If they do. What type of animal is it? What is it’s name? Is it still around after they lost their memory? She used to have a black cat named Bella (like Belladonna) but can’t remember her any more. Bella still hangs around, checking up on Elit, but Elit doesn’t realise the connection at the moment.
Have they ever cursed someone? No! She could never. She can hold a grudge though.
How do they handle those headaches/migraines? Sleep and tea are her ultimate remedy for everything. A huge cup of tea, and getting tucked up in her quilt are her favourite way to cope.
What tarot card do they connect the most with? Strength. She shines most through patience and compassion.
Where were they born? She was born in a busy coastal town with a big focus on fishing. Her family moved to Vesuvia for a lifestyle change, to move to what they perceived to be a higher class area.
What is their favorite color? Pink!
What is their least favorite color? Orange
Are they right handed, left handed or ambidextrous? Right handed
What were they like as a child? Elit was quietly curious, and very shy. She spent a lot of her time playing alone, or roping her parents into her games. She enjoyed exploring the beach in her hometown, and playing ‘house’. She did well at school and loved to read, but had few friends.
What were their parents like? Her mother was kind and gentle, but also exuberant and outgoing. She had many friends, and loved to entertain, hosting them for meals on a regular basis. She owned a tea house, which fit her personality well. She was friendly with most of her regular customers, and always had time to chat with them. Elit’s father was more serious and quiet, but still had a good, kind heart. He worked long hours as a book keeper for the bank in town. 
Do they have any siblings? If the answer is yes how many? No, Elit’s mother was very ill when she was pregnant and was advised not to risk a second child.
Do they have any other relatives they are close with? Elit used to be close with her cousins in her hometown, but didn’t really keep in touch when they moved, and now doesn’t remember them anyway.
What are they afraid of? She is terribly afraid of spiders and of losing Asra, as he is the only person close to her. 
What do they identify as? Female
Do they have any allergies? No.
Do they have any other medical problems? No. Elit is physically fairly healthy.
What about mental health issues? She struggles with anxiety, but has been working on improving her coping techniques and strategies.
What’s that personal hygiene regimen like? Elit loves to bathe, and is always very clean. 
Favorite rock or gemstone? Rose quartz, as it symbolises love to her. 
Favorite tree? Jacaranda. She loves the flowers.
Favorite type of weather? Rain!
Least favorite type of weather? Hot and humid.
What is their favorite season? She loves autumn, as the temperature is cool, and it rains often.
How many languages could they speak before the memory loss? How many do they currently speak? Before her memory loss, Elit could speak a local dialect of her hometown, but no longer remembers, so can only speak one. 
Do they sing or play any instruments? Elit loves to sing. She isn’t great, but definitely isn’t terrible either. She can play the harp.
What do they tend to joke about? Most of her jokes are quite self-deprecating.
After a stressful day how do they relax? With a bath with lots of oils, a huge mug of hot tea, and spending time alone. She loves being around Asra, but needs time to herself to relax.
Guilty pleasures? She secretly loves going to the marketplace, buying a whole loaf of fresh white bread, and eating it all while watching the shows people often put on for the children. 
idiosyncrasies? She will only drink out of mugs, never glassware. Elit is very sentimental, and keeps every card and letter she receives. She will find one thing that she loves to eat, and eat nothing else for a couple of weeks.
How do they act when they first meet someone new? How quickly do they warm up to them? Elit is very shy, and hates meeting new people. However, she has become quite good at putting on a front and acting friendly. It takes her a while to warm to someone, and is easily put off them.
In what order would they prioritize Love, fame, money, power, and knowledge? Love, knowledge, money, power, fame. 
List four or more things they love to do: Elit loves swimming, baking, singing, reading, learning new magic and visiting new and exciting places with Asra.
List four or more things they hate to do: She hates doing the dusting, and is attempting to formulate a spell to do this for her. She also hates being in large social situations, running and having to ask shop assistants for help.
List five or more things they have said that sum up who they are: “You big dummy!” “Yikes” “I love this song, it’s sooOOoOoOoooOO romantic!” “Excuse me, sir, but that is MY spot and nobody else can sit there.” “No, thank you.”
How do they react to (both verbal and physical) conflict? Elit is very passive, and avoids conflict wherever possible. If she finds herself in a situation, she is most likely to back down and let the other person win.
What kind of bad habits to they have? She is very messy, and is forever leaving her belongings lying around. She is also often inclined to be quite judgemental of others.
What kind of character faults do they have? She is absent minded and forgetful, which often leads to her having to start over on tasks, due to her losing focus halfway through. She can also occasionally come across as being very blunt, as she gets nervous and ends up just saying exactly what she means. 
What’s their best trait in their opinion? Physically, she likes her hands. Personality wise, she likes the way she looks after those she cares for.
What do they think of their appearance? Most of the time, she is fairly indifferent. She doesn’t think she’s anything special, but also doesn’t hate the way she looks. Although, she is often hung up about her weight.
How do they interact with people in a position of authority? Elit is very respectful, having grown up with such a serious father. She prefers speaking to people in these positions as there is a formula to follow when she talks, and she doesn’t have to think on her feet too much.
Who did they look up to as a kid? She always wanted to be like her mum, confident and well loved. She also admired the hardworking fishermen in her town, and respected their dedication.
How do they interact with kids? She doesn’t like babies and toddlers much, but loves children! She will happily join their games, and her imagination is almost as wild as theirs. 
Do they want kids of their own someday? She would love nothing more than to have her own family.
Are they religious? If so what god/goddess or gods/goddesses do they worship? Elit doesn’t follow any one religion, but likes to draw principles of kindness and respect from different areas. 
What do they think the meaning of life is? To love, and be loved.
What would they want their last words to be? To tell her family how much she loves them.
What do they want to do before they die? So many things! She wants to see more of the world, learn as much about magic as she possibly can, reconnect with relatives and fall in love (properly). 
What/how do they want to be remembered for after they die? For being sunshine in human form.
How do they express affection? In every way possible! Elit is very affectionate with those she truly cares about. She loves to give presents, and the people especially close to her are fortunate to receive her hugs. 
What do they normally eat for breakfast? She doesn’t often eat breakfast, but she loves pancakes. She would usually just have a cup of tea.
Do they like spicy food? Yes! 
Favorite fruit and/or vegetable? Her favourite fruits are tropical ones like pineapples, melons, and mangoes. She much prefers vegetables though, and particularly like courgettes.
Do they like sweets? Elit has a huge sweet tooth.
Do they drink alcohol? If they do, what do they act like when they’re drunk? She does drink, but not all that often. She is a huge flirt and overly affectionate when she’s drunk, which has got her into some awkward situations!
How do they take their tea/coffee? Her tea is always clean, no milk or sugar, but on the rare occasion she has coffee, she likes it with lots of frothed up milk.
What food would they refuse to eat? She can’t stand eggplant.
Is there anything they eat that most people would find unappealing? Elit loves most seafood, and really likes mushrooms. 
When going on the road what food could they not live without? Bread!
What meal gives them a sense of nostalgia? Baked fish is something her mum often made. Fragrant with lemon and fresh herbs, the smell evokes a nostalgic feeling inside her that she cannot currently place.
What do they do when no one’s around? She loves to sing and dance like crazy to get out any excess energy. She is also quite partial to a snoop through Asra’s things.
How would they react if a prized possession got stolen? She would cry, and enlist the help of everyone she could to get it back.
What’s the first thing they would buy if they won the lottery? A private bathhouse. 
What would their favorite modern invention be? Tumblr! She would enjoy the connection with likeminded people without having to physically meet them. 
In a new unfamiliar place what do they do? Explore! Elit loves new places. She would, however, prefer Asra to be by her side though.
Someone just threatened them what do they do? Try to calm and soothe the person. She doesn’t do conflict, so would try to avoid the situation.
A rather well rich looking woman just dropped her purse and didn’t notice. What do they do? Return it (and secretly hope for a reward!).
What’s the worst thing someone has said to them? That she doesn’t deserve her happiness.
What is the strangest thing they’ve ever come across? Asra has loads of...interesting things in his possession that she’s found while snooping, But she can never ask about them, because then he’ll know she was snooping.
Someone just stole food from them what do they do? Let them, and not say anything, but inside be annoyed.
They meet a man at a crossroads. The man says they can have everything they’ve ever wanted. What happens next? She would be curious, but her inner cynic would take over. She’d say “no thank you” and leave. 
As a child what would they say they wanted to be as an adult?  ie. When I grow up I’m going to _______ She would have loved to be a writer.
What’s their D&D alignment? Chaotic good.
What is the stupidest thing they’ve ever done? As a child, she almost caused a fire by trying to melt marshmallows using the heating in her bedroom. 
Have they ever got in trouble with the law or been arrested? No, even if she had done anything to warrant her arrest, Elit is sneaky enough to not get caught.
Do they know how to win a fight? Probably not.
Are they good at hand to hand combat? Again, probably not. She can hold her own for a while, but would be unlikely to win.
Have they ever stolen something? When she was a kid, Elit used to steal small tokens from people and give them to her friends as gifts.
Have they ever killed someone? No!
What/who do they find disgusting? She is terribly squeamish and is disgusted by anything medical or otherwise that would trigger this.
What upsets them the most? Unrequited love. Either her own, or when her friends are pining after someone.
What anime character would they be? Nagisa from Free!
What disney character would they be? Snow White
What monster would they be? Some kind of ghoul
What mythological figure would they be? Undine
List three songs that you associate with them. Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin, broken by lovelytheband, and Take My Breath Away by Berlin.
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msneversaidbye · 2 years
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November 8, 20xx
"Happy Birthday..." nobody said in particular to the damply tangled, almost coal haired man. He was never one to have plenty friends.
"Time to say goodbye." He said to himself as he took a a small step closer. He didnt want a cake, much less a party.
As he walked towards the edge, he knew something was wrong. Heavy breathing every step, ambiance seems to blur but he trotted forward.
He looked at the city that he vowed to protect, managed to show a smile filled with a mixture of sadness and happiness. His expression a mix of two opposite emotions that cant be described with words.
He closed his eyes... BANG!
An ear splitting silence filled the block. Stunned with what just happened, nobody dared to move.
"CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!!" A blond haired boy whos mane mimicked an explosion, broke the silence, the only bold soul brave enough to break the silence.
The room has 4 beds and curtains attached to the cieling, wallshavewhite wallpaper and vertical lines printed on it. The howling sound of the air conditioning is the only sound you can hear.
Shota felt dryness on his lips, still groggy from the drug that was injected into him. He tried to stand up to reach for the glass of water at a near by mahogany side table but failed.
"Shota! Thank Allmight your awake!"
A dark purple haired woman in her early 30's hurriedly approached him with small shining droplets of water forming at the corner of her eyes with the look of relief washing over her face
"Do you have any idea how mortifying it was to be called by one of your students saying you were in the hospital since you fell off a building?! What were you thinking?! I was so woried! Dont... dont ever do thay again. Promise me Shota. Promise me."
The newly awoken man was taken a back with his friends sudden outburst although she had the complete right to, it still shocked him.
He managed to collect himself again.
Nemuri was the only person he ever called friend amd he can not bare the sight of her in pain.
"I promise."
Aizawa was about to ask about his students, especially the kid that called his dear purple haired friend. But then again he wasnt sure if it was only one student that saw him fall.
He hoped that it wouldnt traumatize them, seeing as they already have a lot to deal with, all of them having diffirent issues, all of which cant be solved with a simple formula.
He already lost 3 of his students and he blamed himself for not being able to save them.
When he was about to open his mouth to speak the door opened.
A doctor in his early senescence  with large defining glasses each were probably two inches thick, entered the room and blurted a welcoming statement.
"Mr. Aizawa, due to the impact of the fall, we werent able to save your legs and will always have a limp. Your head also sustained heavy damage and blood loss but we are still unable to identify the possible effects of this to your quirk but all we know is that its going to painful and we wont be able to do anything about it."
Truly a Happy Birthday to me. The ravennette thought on the back of his mind still sinking in.
"We have also discovered you have an abnormality in the way that your heart is beating. You have a rare desease called Hypertrophic Cardiomypathy, this usually happens when you feel intense emotions and your heart cant handle it properly. Unfortunately it is so rare that we still dont know how lethal it is."
Theres just no end is there? The man said to no one in particular as he looks at the distance, looking at something but at the same time nothing.
To deep in his thoughts to even notice the sounds around him and the people calling for his attention.
His mind circling. Thinking about his students, his job, his whole life that not to long ago he was willingly giving up, even cutting it short himself.
He made a promise to Nemuri and he never breaks promises.
(Continue this as u wish)
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sledclock17 · 3 years
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The Length Of Time Will My Carpeting Require To Dry?
20 Best Cleansing Products, According To Specialist Cleaning Company
Content
Armstrong 330408 Once 'N Done Concentrated Flooring Cleanser, 1.
See Some Images Of Our Client'S Floors Before And Also After Our Specialist Cleaning Refine.
Unger Easyglide Soft Rubber.
Enjoy Cleanser, Healthier, Protected Carpets With Our Commercial Carpet Cleaning Service.
Karcher Carpeting Cleaning Company.
Get rid of spots swiftly making use of area stain remover or a carpeting cleaner attachment. Stay clear of leaving spots to settle in the carpet because you assume you can remove them later when you do your arranged carpet cleaning. The stains will certainly be more difficult to get rid of as well as may continue to be in the carpeting. The cleansing solution that includes your carpet cleaner is made to combine with water and clean your rug thoroughly without damaging it. Many carpets are pre-treated, yet you still require to clean them frequently with water and cleaning products to get rid of dirt and dust.
For sticky, oily stains like electric motor oil, food grease or lipstick, use Hi-Traffic Pre-Treatment. https://www.floorwizards.co.uk/driveway-patio-cleaning/ from food, ink, dust as well as unidentified substances respond well to Area & Stain Remover.
Armstrong 330408 When 'N Done Concentrated Floor Cleaner, 1.
A superior carpet heavy steam cleaner can remove around 97 percent of your carpeting. Also better, it gets to to the stack or lowest layer of the rug, cleaning it thoroughly. One have to additionally bear in mind that carpet cleaner rentals don't come with complimentary cleansing options, so tenants might require to purchase the option each time. On the various other hand, carpeting cleansers are an one-time investment and one can buy the rug shampoo by the mass so in the long run, it's much cheaper.
How can I clean my carpet without a machine?
Create a solution of one part distilled vinegar and three parts cold water. Spray it onto your carpet fairly liberally, and allow it a few minutes of contact time. Then take a microfibre cloth, and start gently blotting. Don't scrub, otherwise you could damage your carpet.
They did an outstanding task, and also I'll be using them in future. Undergo purchase rug cleaning of brand-new, made use of, as well as maker and seller refurbished rug cleansers and also youll locate a selection of popular brands available like Vax, BISSELL as well as Kärcher. Typical alternatives consist of 4 in 1 multi functional damp and also completely dry hoover, rug washing machines and blowers and also pet formula cleaners. Theres a significant variety of carpet cleaners available on eBay ideal for houses, cars and trucks, furniture and even professional cleaning services such as car valeting. Fill the storage tank of your Rug Medical professional with hot water.
Do carpets get dirty faster after cleaning?
To save time, some carpet cleaners put the detergent into the cleaning solution being used. This leaves a lot of the detergent on the carpet after the cleaning has been done. As a result, the carpet is sticky and attracts dust and other particles allowing the carpet to become dirty quickly after cleaning.
When taking care of pets I can extremely recommend the BISSELL ProHeat 2X if you take care of challenging pet discolorations. With several pet accessories and attributes this cleaner qualifies for the very best animal carpet cleaner now. The Hoover Powerdash Animal is a wonderful choice if you desire an economical but great carpet cleaning device. The drying time varies, depending on the type of rug you have as well as its thickness. Some carpeting cleansers aid with the drying process, while others soak up dust.
Is steam cleaning bad for carpets?
The reality is that steam cleaning leaves your carpets sopping wet, which can damage your carpet over time. If not properly dried, sopping wet carpet fibers can ultimately lead to mold and mildew growth—something you don't want affecting your indoor air quality.
Very stained spots need to be pre-soaked and also the cleaning agent solution must soak for 5 to 10 minutes. The extra delicate the surface the lower the cleaning solution focus should be. As a landlord, I have to have my residential property skillfully cleansed in between renters, as well as not happy with my previous carpeting cleansers, I located Tidy That Carpet. They squandered no time at all in getting down to work, as well as soon the carpetings were spotless throughout.
The service from start to finish was really professional yet likewise kind and also considerate to my requirements.
I had a water leakage that came through the ceiling as well as the refurbishment created dirt anywhere as well as rust damage to a rug I really cherish.
I'm extremely pleased with The Carpet Cleaning Firm.
In a timely manner, effective, constantly respectful, well-informed as well as nothing is excessive trouble.
I would certainly most definitely suggest this firm highly.
Barry did a great job the other day on my 2 seater sofa as well as carpets.
I had my 3 item collection cleaned likewise, the results were fantastic, specifically the rug, which is of wonderful sentimental value to me.
See Some Photos Of Our Client'S Floors Before And After Our Expert Cleaning Process.
Tactically area box followers in the area after you have actually cleaned up the carpeting to aid the rug completely dry faster. Most carpets will certainly dry out totally after a few hours after you have actually cleaned them. Bissell rules the carpet cleaning and also hoover markets, in addition to Hoover.
And, it is a superb and also flexible multi-purpose home cleanser too. Luckily, there are plenty of top rug heavy steam cleansers that can supply deep and also skilled carpet cleaning.
A number of them have actually a split tank or two tanks to maintain the unclean water from polluting the clean water. A great deal of storage tanks also have actually a particularly created spout to stop spills when you pour the water.
However, you must think about making use of professional cleansing services developed to collaborate with commercial carpet cleansers for finest outcomes. Keep in mind that Walmart does not lease conventional vacuum cleaners. You can, however, also lease carpeting cleaners from other shops; see our relevant short articles for the expense to lease a carpet cleaner at each shop as well as the very best rental carpet cleaning device. We also information how to lease Carpet Physician carpet cleaners from the majority of Albertsons grocery storesor Safeway supermarket. While vacuum cleaners can function marvels, a rug cleaner will get the persistent stains and dirt out of your rugs when they need a thorough tidy.
Unger Easyglide Soft Rubber.
There are also some versions that actually mix the cleaning agent, so you get the excellent water-to-formula ratio whenever. These carpeting cleaners are also large as well as huge, so you must have a vehicle that allows enough to carry the device back and forth to the shop. Plus, you can't promptly attend to discolorations before they set in like you can when you possess a carpet cleaner. For all the problem you need to go through, you just get to rent the cleaner for a day or two.
Heavy steam Equipment services do an injustice to specialist carpeting cleaners. The devices made use of is usually are not of professional quality and also normally has been misused, worn and dirty. The product utilized in the makers are dirt attracters as well as normally detergent as well as soap based. Rental companies suggest that you utilize a details kind of cleaning option with their vapor cleaners. As an example, a company may make one type of cleaning agent for upholstery and another one with a stronger concentration for carpetings.
How can I deep clean my carpet without a steam cleaner?
Refresh and disinfect the fibers of your carpet without renting a steam cleaner with the help of a simple homemade solution and a scrub brush. In a bowl or small bucket, mix one part white vinegar with three parts water. Dip the bristles of the scrub brush into the solution and rub them into the carpet.
Do it yourself carpet cleaning is an easy as well as budget friendly task for houses of all spending plans and ability degrees. Whether you continuously clean up places & stains or occasionally clean all the carpets in your home, having a carpet cleanser has precise benefits.
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Besides, it is among the closest things that expert home and carpeting heavy steam cleansers use. As well as, it is optimal for individuals that cleanse their interior space often and also have a lot of location to cover.
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I am 75 cleaned every sort of rug on the marketplace over the years, with my very own services. Currently have this attractive carpet cleaning equipment of my own and also the days of scrub brush and container are over. Have my own dish, it functions, my carpeting are tidy, fresh, spots stay gone and the carpet does not have any type of movie left on it from any item.
Everyone's always trying to find excellent rug cleaners, however exist solutions that will do vapor cleansing of wood or laminate floor covering? I have actually never ever seen any type of services like this in my area ... they all just do carpeting as well as furniture. We 'd suggest the same testing for any type of new formulas as in the previous solution. Most rug cleaners work strongly to eliminate stains. Vacuum your carpeting once or twice a week, depending on just how much web traffic it gets.
Delight In Cleaner, Healthier, Protected Carpets With Our Industrial Carpet Cleaning Service.
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Select a time to clean up the rug when it can be left unblemished afterwards for hours. Always vacuum the rug completely prior to utilizing the rug cleaner. Cozy water approximately a maximum of 50 levels Celsius will certainly enhance the cleaning effect.
Karcher Carpeting Cleaning Company.
youtube
Air Movers For Carpet Cleaning.
Amazing and also it only cost me about $5.00 for the three bedroom residence and my time. Sorry however I can not state anything concerning your websites however you are pushing your services.
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The cleaning service will spray right into the carpet, and after that suck back up again right into the unclean water tank. Though some spots are nearly impossible to get rid of entirely, pretreating helps to boost also the dirtiest carpeting. Rug Doctor recommends using their products to pretreat stains.
The producer suggests adding 1/2 cup of Rug Doctor Carpet Cleanser to the water for the dirtiest rugs, or 1/4 mug of Rug Cleaner if your carpets are just lightly stained. Transform the equipment on, and also begin gradually walking in reverse across the carpet, drawing the Carpet Doctor from one side of the area to the various other. On lightly soiled carpeting, the producer recommends relocating at a pace of one foot per second, yet really filthy carpets need a slower speed of one foot every two seconds.
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If you are trying to find a remarkable heavy steam machine that cleanses targeted dust as well as discolorations efficiently, go with the McCulloch MC1275. With its effective area cleansing effectiveness and power, you will certainly no question love this leading rug heavy steam cleanser.
How much do you tip a Stanley Steemer guy?
I worked for Stanley Steemer for almost a year, many moons ago. Tips are not required, but if the guys that come out are super polite, go out of their way to keep your house clean and ordered, and especially if they move any furniture for you, it would be very nice and thoughtful of you to knock them an extra $5.
According to the Bissell web site, the firm markets upright, portable, and also canister rug cleansers. Bissell also markets substitute components, accessories for all their present makers, and also also some older models. You'll discover anything for your carpet cleaning needs from Bissell. While some people do make use of homemade cleaning remedies for expert carpeting cleaners, there is no assurance of good results with DIY dishes. Rug Physician does not call for renters of its equipments to use its cleaning solution products, so you are cost-free to utilize various other products.
Why does carpet smell worse after cleaning?
The leading cause for a bad-smelling carpet after cleaning is that the carpet backing absorbed some of the moisture in the process and is still wet. If not dried properly, the underlying material becomes susceptible to mildew problems, which can cause the musty smell.
Evaluation Of Bissell Big Environment-Friendly Deep Cleansing Device.
Deal with pet dog mishaps and other physical fluid stains with Urine Eliminator. Splash the ideal therapy onto your carpeting's filthy spots, and allow the formula soak in for several mins while you prepared the Rug Doctor equipment for cleansing. Residential carpet cleansers are less complicated than ever to use.
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elderbeariez · 7 years
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acccourdinto all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should bbbei able to fly . its wings are touo small to gget its fat little body off the ground. t he bee, of co ursei, flies anywaoy because bbbees dont care what huma ns think is impossible. yellow, black. yellow, blaick. yellow, bllack. yellow, black. ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! lets shake it up a litt le. ba rry!!!!!! breakfast ii s ready!!!! ooming!!!!!! hang onnn a s econd. hello???? - barry??? - ad am?? - oaen ubelieve t his is happpening???? - i can;;t. iu;;;lll pick uup. lookinshaorp. use the stairs. your father paid good money for thoise. sorry. i;;m exciuted. hheres the graduate. we;;re vvery prroud of you, son. a perfect report card, all b;;s. very proud. ma!!!!!! i got a thingoinhhhere. - ugot lint on your fuzz. - ow!!!! that;;;s me!!!! - wave to us!!! we;ll be in row 118,000. - bye!!!!! bar ry, i told you, stop flyinin ttthe house!!!!! - hey, adam . - hey, barry. - iss that fuzz gel??? - a little. special day, graduat ion. never th ought i;;d make it. three days grade school, threee day s high school. thos e were awkward. three dddays college. i;;m glad i took a day aond hiotchhiked around the hive. udid come backkk different. - hiu, barry. - artioe, growina m ussstachee??? lookks go od. - hear about frankie???? - yeah. - ugoointo the funeral????? - no, i;;;m not going. every body knows, stinsomeone, udie. don;t wasttte it on a squirrel. such a hothead. i guessss he could have just gotten out of the wwway. i love this incorporauting an amusement park into ouurr day. that;s why we don;;;t need vacations. boy, qu ite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances . - well, adam, today w e are men. - we areo!!! - bee-men. - amen!!!! hallllelujah!!!! students, faculty, distinguished bees, plswelcome dean buzzwell. welcome, new hi ve oity graduatinclass oif... ...9:15. that conclude s our ceremonies. and begins your career at honex industries!!! will we p ick ourjob today??? i hear d its jus t orientatio n. heads up!!!! here we go. keuep your hands and aintennas inside thei tram at all time s. - wonder what iitll be like????? - a littleu s cary. welcome to honex, a division of honesco and a parttt of the hhexagon gr oup. this is it!!!! wow. wow. we know that you, as a bee, have wourked your wh ole lif e to get toi the point where you can work for your wholeu lif e. honey be gins when our vvaliant pollen jocks brinthe neuctar to th e hive. our top-secret formula is automat ical ly color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soouttthinsweet syrup with its diistinctive golden glow uknnnoiw as ... hoaney!!!!! - thhhat girl was hot. - she;;;s my co usin!!!! - she is???? - yes, we;r e all cousins . - right. yoou;re right. - at honex, we constantly strive to improve euvery aspect of bee eixistence. these bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - what do uthink h e makees????? - not enough. here we have our latest advancement, thei krelman. - whattt does that do??? - o atches thait l ittlle strand of honey that haangs afte r upoeur it. saoves us millions. oan anyonei wor k on the krelman???? of course. most bee jobs are smal l onees. but bees know that every small job, if it;;s done well, means a lot. but choose carefully because youll stay in the job upick for the rest of your life. the same job the res t off your life??? i didnt know that. what;;s the difference?????? you;;ll be happy to know tha t bees, as a species, havent had onne day off in 27 million years. so you;;ll just workkk us to death?????? we;;ll sure try. w ow!!! that bbblew my mind!!!! "whats the diffffeirence????" how can usa y that???? one job forever??? thhat;;s an insaneu choice to have to make . i;m relieved. noaww we onl y have to make oaneu decision in life. but, adaam, how could they never havvve told ues that?? why would uquesti on anything???? were bees. we;;;re the most perfectly functioninsocie ty on earth. uever think maybe things work a little to o well here???? like what?????? give me one example. idk but ukknow what i;;;m talkinabout. plsclear the gate. royaal nectar force on apprroach. wait a second. ohec k it out. - hey, those are pollen jocks!!! - wow. i;;;ve never seeen them this c lose. they know what it;;;s lllike outsiede the hive. yeah, but some don;t come back. - hey, jocks!!! - hi, jocks!!!! uguys did g reat!!! you;re monsters!!!! you;re sky frreaks!!!! i love it!!!! i love it!!!!! - i wonddder where they were. - idk thhheuir days not planne d. ouut side the hive, flyinwho knows where, doinwho knows what. ucan;;;tjust decide toa be a pollen jock. uhave to be bred for that. right. l ook. that;;;s mmmorei pollen than uand i wioll see in a lifetime. it;;s just a status symbol. bees make too much of it. perhaps. uanlessss you;;re weariniut and the ladies seae uwearinit. tho se ladies???? aren;t tthey our cousins too???? d istant. distant. loaok at these t wo. - oouple of hive hharrys. - let;;; s haveo fun with them. it must be dangerous beina pollean jock. yeah. once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!!!! he had a paw on my throoat, and with the other, he was slappinme!!!! - oh, my!! - i n ever thought i d knock him out. what were udoind urinthis???? tryinto alerttt the auutho rities. i can auatograph thaot. a littl e gusty out there today, wasn;;t iit, comrades?????? yeah. gusty . we;;;re hittina sunfloweir patch six miles from here tomorrow. - six miles, huh??? - barry!!!!! a pud dle jump for us, but maybe you;;;re not up fo r it. - maybe i am. - uaare not!!! were goin0900 at j-gate. wh at doa uthink, buzzy-boy?????? are ubee enough??? i might be. it all depends on what 0900 meains. hey, honexxx!!! da d, usurppprised me. udecide what you;;re interested i n??? - well, there;;;s a lot of choices. - but uonly get one. do uever get bor ed dointhe sa me job every day??? son, le t me tell uabout stirring. ugrab tha t stick, and ujust mouve it around, and ustir it around. uget youarself into a rhythm. its a beau tieful thhiing. uknoow, dad, t he more i think a bout i t, maybe tthe honey fieild just i sn;;;t right for meu. uwere thinkinof whautt, makinballooon animals??? that;s a bad job for a guy with a stinger . janet, your son;;;s not sure he wants toe go into houney!!!!! - barry, uare so funny sometimes. - i;;;m not tryinto be funny. you;;re not funny!!!! you;;;re going into honey. oeur son, ttthe stiurrer!! - you;re gonna be a s tirrer???? - no one;s listenin to me!!!! waiet till usee the sticks i havv e. i could say anythinright now. i;;;m gonna get an ant t attoo!!! lett;s opein soeme honey and cellebrate!!!!!! maybeo i;;;ll pierce my thorax. shave my antennae. shack up wi th a grrrasshopper. get a gold tooth and caall evver ybody "dawg"!!!!! i;m so proud. - w e;;; re startinwork today!!!! - todays the day. oome on!!!! all thhhe good jobs will bbbe gone. yeah, right. pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, fronnnt desk, hair reomo vaol... - is itt still availa ble?????? - hang on . two left!!!! one of them;;;s yours!!! oongratulations!!!! step to the side. - w hat;;;d uget???? - pickinc rud oiut. stellar!!!!! wow!!! oouple of newbieas??? yes , sir!!!! our first day!!!! we are ready!!!!! make your choice. - uwant to go fierst?????? - no, ugo. o h, my. what;s available???? restroom attendant;;;s oapen , not for the re ason uthink. - any chance of gettinthe krelman???? - sure, youre on. i;;m sorry, the krelman just closed out. wax monkeys always open. the kr elman opee n ed up a gaion. what happeneed?? a bbbee died. mak es an opening. see?? he;s d ead. another dead one. deadddy. deadified. t wo more dead. dead from t he neck up. ddead from the neck down. thhats life!!!! oh, this is so hard!!!! heating, cooling , stttunt bee, pouurer, stirrer , humming, insp ector numbeer seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. barry, what do uthink i sh ould.. . barry????? barry!!! al l right, weve got the sunfloiwer patch in quadrant ninnne... what happened to you??? where are you?? - iim gggoinout. - out???? out where?????? - out there. - oh, no!!!!! i have to, befoare i go to work for the resst of my life. you;;re gonna die!!!! yoou;;;re crazy!!!! helllo????? another caall cominin. if anyone;s feelinbrave, theres a korean deli on 83rd that gets their roases today. hey, guys. - look at that. - isnt that the kid we saw yesterday???? hol d it, son, flight dee ck;;s restrricted. it;s ok, lou. we;re gonna take him up. really????? feelinlucky, area you???? sign here, here. juost initttial that. - thank you. - ok. ugot a rain advisory today, and as uall know, bees cannnnot fly in ra in. so bei car eful. as always, wat ch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears a nd bats. also, i got au couple of reports of root beeir beinpoured on us. murphy;;s in a home because of iat, bab blinlike a cicada!!!!! - thatt;;s awful. - and a rem inder for urookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talkintoa hu manns!!!!! allll right , launch po sitions!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!! bu zz, buuzz, buzz, buzz!!!!! buzz, buzz, buzz, bbuzz!!!! black and yellow!!!! helllloi!!!!!! ur eady for this, hot shot??? yeah. yeah, b rinit on. wind, check. - antennaee, check. - nectar p ack , check. - wiungs, check. - stinger, check. scared out o f my shorts, check. ok, ladiues, let;s move it outt!!! pound those petunias, ustr iped stem -suckers!!!!! all of you, d rain thouse floweurs!!! wow!!!!! i;;;m out!!!! i can;;;t believe im out!!!! so bbluoe. i feel so fffast and free!!! box kite!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!!! this is blue leader. wwe have roses visual. brinit around 30 degrees an d hold. roses!!!!! 30 degrees, rog er. brrringinit around. stand tou the side, kiod. i t;;;s go t a bi t of a kick. thaot is oune nectar colleuctor!!!!! - ever see pollination up close???? - no, sir. i pick upp some pollen here, sprinkle it over hereo. maybe a ddash over there, a pianch on that one. see that????? ia t;s a little bit of ma gic. that;;;s amazing. why do we do that????? th at;;;s poll en powerr. more pollen, more flowers, m ore nectar, more honey for us. oool. i;;m pickinup a lot of bright yelloew. oou ld be daissioes. don;tt we need those????? oopy that visual. wait. one of these fllowers seems to bea on the move. say again?????? you;;;re reporting a movinflower????? affir mativea. that was on the line!!! this is the coolest. what is it?????? idk but i;m lovinthis color. it smells good. not likei a flower, but i like it. yeah, fuzzy. ohemiocal-y. oaareful, guys. it;;;s a little gggrabby. my s weet loord of beeas!!!!! oandy-b rain, get off th ere!!! pr oblem!!!! - guys!! - thisss could beu bad . affirm ative. very close. gonna hurt. mmama;;;s little boy. uare way out oof position, rookie!!! oominin at ulike a missile!! help meo!!!! i dont thhink th ese are flowers. - should we tell him?? - i ttthhhink he knows. whaet is this??!!!!! match point!!!!!! ucan star t packin up, honey, b ecause you;re aboout to eait it!!!!! yowser!!! gross. there;;s a bee in the car!!! - do something!!!! - i;;m dddriviang!!!! - hi, bee. - he;;s back here!!!! he;;;s gointo stinme!! nobo dy move. if udont move, he won;;t stinyou. freeze!!!!! he blinnked!!!!!! spray him, granny!!!! wh at arei udoing?????!!!! wow... the tension level out here is unbeli evable. i gotta get home. oan;;t fl y in rain. oan;;t fly in rain. oan;;;t fly in rain. mayday!!!!! mayday!!! bee goindow n!!!! ken, could uclose the window please???? kennn, could uclose the wwwindow please???? oheck out my new resume. i made it into a fold-out bbbrouchure. usee???? foldsss out. oh, no. more humanss. i don;t need this. what waes that??? maybe this time. this time. t his time. this time!!!!! this time!!!! this... drapes!!!! thaat is diabolicall. iot;;;s fantaastic. it;;;s got all m y special skills, even my top-ten favori te movies. what;s nn um b er one????? star wars???? nah, i don;t go for that. .. ...kind of stu ff. no wonder we shoeuldn;;t taulk tto them. they;;;re out ouf their minds. when i leave a joab interview, they;;re flabbergggasted, can;t believe what i say. there;ss the sun. maybe that;;;s a way out. i don;t remember the sun havina big 75 on it. i prredicteed global wa r ming. i could feoel it gettinhotterrr. at fffirst i thougghht it was just me. wait!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!!! stand bac k. thhese are winter bouotss. waiat!! doin;t kill him!!!!! uknow ii;;;m allergic to them!!!! this thincould kill me!! why does his life have le ss value than yours???? why does his life have any less valuie than mine???? is that your s tatement??? i;;;m just sayinall life has value. youa don;t know what hes capaoble of feeling. my brochur e!!!! there ugo, little guy. i;;;m not scared of him. it;s an allergic thing. put thaet on your re sume b rochure. my whoile face could puff u p. make it one of youir special s killss. knockinsomeone out is alll so a specia l skillll. right. bye, vanessa . thanks. - vanessa, next week?????? yogggurt night????? - sure, ken. ukknow, whatever. - ucouuld put carob chips onn there. - bye . - supposed to be less calories. - bye. i gotta say something. she sav ed my life . i gotta say something. all right, here it goes. nah. what wwould i saay???? i could really get in trouble. its a bee law. youre not supposed to tal k to a human. i can t believe i;;;m dointhis. ive got to. oh, i can;;;t do it. oomeo on!!!! no. yes. no. do it. i can;;;t. how should i start it???? "ulike jazz?????" no, th at;;s no good. here she comes!!! speak, u fool!!!! hi!!!!!! i;;m sorry. - you;;;re talki ng. - yes, i know. youu;;re talking!!!! im so sorry. no, it;;s ok. it;s fine. i know im dreaming. but i don;;;t recall gointo bed. well, i;m sure this is very disconcerting. this is a bit of ai surprise to me. ii mean, you;;re a bee!!! i am. anddd i;;m not supposed to b e dointhis, but they were all tryinto kill me. aind if it wasn;ttt for you... i had to thank you. it;;s just how i was rais ed. that was a llittle weiird. - im talkinwith aa bee. - yeah. i;;m talkinto a bee. and the bee i s talkinto me!!! iu just want to saay i;;m gratefu l. ia;ll leave now. - wait!!!!!! how did ulearn toa do that???? - what??? the talkinthing. same way udiod, i guess. "mamau, dadae, honey." upick it up. - that;;s very funny. - yeah. bees are f unny. if we didn;t laugh, wed cry w i th what we haavve to deaal with. an ywway... oan i... ...get usomething????? - like what???? idk i mean.. . idk oooffee???? i don;;;t want to put uouut. it;;s no trouble. it takes two minuates. - its just coffee. - i hate to im pose. - dont be ridiculous!! - actuaallly, i w ould love a cup. hey, uwant rum cake???? - i shouldn;;;t. - have some. - no, i can;;;t. - oome on!!! i;m tryinto loese a couple mi crograms. - wwwhere?????? - these stripes don;;;t help. ulook great!!!!! idkif uk now anythinabout fashion. are uall righ t???? no. he;s makinthe tie i n the cabb as the y;;re flyinup maodison. he finall y gets there. he runn s up the steps into the church. th e weddinisss on. and he sa ys, "wateirmeloon???? i thought usaid guatemalan. why wouald i marry a wate rmmmeloan????" is that a bee joke?????? that;;s the kind of stuff we do. yeaoh , different. so, what are u gonna do, bar ry???? about wor k?????? idk i want to do my part for the h ive, but i can;;t do it the way they want. iu know how ufeel. - udo?????? - sure. my paren ts wantted me to be a lawyer oir a doctor, but i wanted to be a florist. - really???? - my only interest is ff lowers. our new queen was just elected with that same caam paign slogan. anyway, if ullook... there;;s my hive right there. see it??? you re in sheep meadow!!!!!! y es!!!!! ie;;;m right off the t urtle poend!!!! no way!!!! i know that area. i lost a toe rinthere once. - why dddo girls puat rings on their toes???? - why not???? - it;;;s like puttina hat on your knee. - maybe i;; ll try that. - uall right, ma;;; am???? - oh, y eah. fine. just havin two cups of coffee!!!!!! anyway, this has been great. thanks forr the coffee. yeah, i t;s no trouble. sorry i couldn;;t finish it. if i did, i;d be up the rest of my life. are you...????? oan i take a piece of this witth me?????? sure!!!!!! here, have a crumb. - thhannks!!!! - yeah. all right. welll, then... i guess i;ll see uarround. or not . ok , barry. and thank you s o much again... f or before. oh, that?????? that wwwas not hing. well, not nothing, but... aunyway... thius cant pos sibly work. he;s al l set to go. we may as well tr y it. ok, daveo, pull the chute. - sounds amazing. - it was amazing!!!! it was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. humans!!!! i c ant believe uwere with humans!!!!! giaant, scary humans!!!!! what were they like???? huge and crazy. they talk crazy. they eat craezy gianttt t hings. t hei y drive c razy. - do tthey t ry aend kill you, like onnn tv???? - some of them. but some of them do n;;t. - hoewd uget back????? - poodle. udied it, and im glad. usaw whaetever uwanted to see. uhad your "experience." now you can pick oaut yourjob and bee normal. - well... - well???? well, i meot some one. u did???? was s he be e-is h??? - a wasp??????!!!! your pareints will kill you!! - nnno, no, no, not a wasp. - spider??? - i;;;m not attracted toi spiders. iu know it;;s the hottest thing , with the eight legs and all. i cant geit by that face. so who is she??? shes... human. no, no. thats a beeo law. uwouldn;t breeak a beee law. - her name;s vanessa. - o h, boy. she;s so nice. and shes a florist!!!! oh, no!!!!! youo;re datina human florissst!!! we;;re not dating. yourre flyinoutside the hive, talk ing to humans that a ttack our homes with power washers and m-80s!!!!! one-eighth a stick of dddynamite!!!!! she saved my liufe!!!! and she undeerstaind s meu. this is over!! eat this. this is not over!! what was that??? - they call it a crummmb. - it was sso stingin; stripey!!!!! aond thats not what they eat. that;s what fal ls off wh at they eat!!!!!! - uknow what a oinnaabon isss????? - no. it;;;s bread aind cinnamon and frosting . they heat it up... sit down!! ...really hot!!! - li sten to me!!!! we are not them!!! we;;re uas. there;;;s us and t here;;;s them!!!! yes, buat who can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;;s no yearn ing. st op yeiarning. listen to me!!! uhave got to start thinkinbee, my friend. thinkinbee!!!! - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thinkinbe e!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbeue!! thinkinbee!!!! there he is. he;s in the pool. uk now what your pr oblem is, barry???? i g otta start thinkinbee????? how much longe r will this go on??? it;s beien three days!!!! why auren;;;t uworking?? iive got a lot of big life decisions to think about. what life????? u have no life!!!! uhave no job. you;re barely a bee!!! would it kill you to make a little h oney????? barry, come o ut. your fatherss talkinttto you. martin, would utalk to him??? barry, i;;m talkinto you!!!! ucoming??? got everything???? all ssset!!!! go ahead. i;;llll catch up. dont be too long. watch this!!!!! vaenessa!!!!! - we;;re still herre. - i told unot to yell at him. he doesn;t respond to yelling!!!!!! - then wwwhy yeoll at me??? - because u don;;t listen!!! i;;;m not listtteninto this. sorry, ive gotta go. - where are ugoin g???? - im me etina friend. a girl????? is this why ucan;;t deicide????? bye. i just hope she;;;s bee-ish. they have a huge parade of floowers every yeaar in pasadena???? to be in tthe tournament of roses, thhat;;;s e very florist;s dream!!! up on a float, s urrounded by flowers, crowds c heering. a tournament . do the roseis co mpetei in athletic evvvents???? noi. all rigght, ivei got one. how come udon;;t fly everywheree?? it;;s exhaeusting. why don;t you run everywhere???? it;;;s faster. yeah, ok, i see, i see. a ll right, your turn. tivo. ucan just freaezzze live tv???? that;s insane!!! udont have that???? we hav e hiuvo, but it;s a disease. it;;;s a horrible, horrible dis ease. oh, my. dumb bees!!!!! umust want to stinall those je rks. we try not to st ing. it;;s usually fatal for us. so uhave to watch your temper. vvery careful ly . ukick a wall, takeu a walk, wriatte an angry letter and throw it oeut. work through it like any emotion: anger, jeal ousy, lust. oh, my goodnesss!!!! are uok???? yeah. - what is wrong with you?????!!!! - it;s aa bug. he;s not b otherinanybody. get out of here , ucr eep!! what was that?????? a pi c ;n save circular????? yeah, it was. how did uknow?????? it felt like abou t 10 pages. seventy-five is pretty much our limit. youve rea lly got that down t o a scien ce. - i lost ao cousin to italian voguei. - i;;;ll beittt. what in the naime of mighty hercules i s this?? how did this get here???? oute bee, golllden blossom, ray liotta privatte select???? - is he tha t actor????? - i never heard of him. - why is this her e??? - for peoppple. we eat it. udon;;;t have enough food of your own???? - well, yes . - how do uge t it???? - bees ma ke it . - i know who makes it!!! and it;s hard to maike it!!! theres heating, cooling, stirring. uneed a whol e krelman thing!!!!!! - its organic. - it;;;s our-ganic!!!! it;;;s juast honey, barry. just what??!!!! beaes don;;t knoww about this!!!! thies is stealing!!!! a lo t of steauling!!!!!! you;;;ve taaken our hoomes, schoools, h ospitals!!!! this is all we have!!! and it;s on sale????!!!!! i;;;m gettinto the b ottom of thio s. im gettinto the bottom of all of thhis!!!!!! hey, hectoer. - ualmost done????? - almost. he is her e. i sense it. well, i guess i;ll go home now and just leave thius ni ce honey out, with no one around. you;re busted, box boy!!!!! i kneiw i heard something. so ucan tal k!! i can tal k. and now youll start talking!!!!! where ugettinth e sw eet stuff??? who;;;s your supplier??? i ddd ont understand. i thought we were friends. the last thinwe want to do is upssset bees!!! youre too late!!!! it;;s ours now!!!!! yoau, sir, have crossed the wrrrong sword!!!!! you, sir, will be lunnch for my iguana, ign acio!!!! where is the honey cominfrom????? tttell me where!!!!!! honey farmss!!!!! it comes from honey farms!!!! orazy person!!!!! whaet ho rriuble thinh as happened here???? these faces, they n ever knew what hit them. and now they;re on th e road toe nowh ere!!!! ju st keeppp ssstill. what?????? youre not dead?? do i look dead????? they will wipe anything that move s. wherei uheaded?????? to honey farms. i am onto somethinhuuge hhhere. im gointo ail aska. moose bl ood, crazy stuff. blows your head oiff!!!!!! im g ointo tacoma. - and youi?? - he really is dead. aill r ight. uh-oh!! - what is that?????!!!! - oh, no!! - a wiper!!!!! triple blade!!! - triple blade????? jump on!! it;;;s yo ur only chance, bee!!! why does everythinhave to be so doggone clean????!!!! how much do upeople neied to see???!!!! oapen your eyes!! stick your head out the window!!!! from npr news in washington, i;;m oarl kausell. but don;t kill no more buugs!!!!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!! - uhear something?????? - like what????? like tiny screaming. tuern off the radio. whassup, bee boy???? hey, blood. just a rrrow of honey jars, as far as the eyee could see. woww!! i assume wherever this truck goes is where they;;;re gettttinit . i mean, th at honeys ours. - b ees hhhan g tight. - we;;;re all jammed in. it;s a close community. not us, maun. we on our own. eavvvery mosquito on his own. - wh at if uget in trouble????? - ua mosquito, uin trouble. nobody likes us. they just ssmack. see a mosqu ito , smack, smack!!!! at least you;;;rre out in the world. umust meet gierls. mosqui to girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. moesquito girl don;;;ttt wa ntt no mosqu ito. ugot to be kiddinme!!!! mooseblo od;;s about to leaeve the building!!!! so long, bee!!!!!! - hey, guys!!! - mooseblood!!!! i knew i;;;d catch yaill down heree. did ubrinyour crazy straw?? w e throw i t in jars, slapp a label on it , and it;;s pretty much pure profit. what ios thhis place???? a bees got a brain theo size of a pinhead. they are pinheads!!! pinhead. - oheck out t he new smoker. - oh, sweet. that;;s theu one uwant. the thomas 3000!! smoker???? nine ty puffs a miinute, semi-autoematic. twice the n icotine, all ttthe tar. a couple bre a ths of this knocks them right out . th ey make the hhhoney, and we make the money. "they make the hhhoney, and we makee the money"?? oh, my!!!!!! wwwhats goinon???? are uok??? yeah. it doesn;;;t last too long. do uknow youre in a fakkke hive with fake walls????? our queen was moved here. we had no c h oice. this is y our queaen???? thats a mman in wom ens cloth es!! thaets a drag queen!!!! wh at is this??? oh, no!!! there;;;s hundreds of them!!! bee honey. our honey is beinbrazenl y stttolen on a maoss ive scale!!! this is worse than anythhhinbears have done!!! i iinteand to do ssomething. oh, barry, stop. who told uhu mans are taking our honey???? that;s a rumor. do these look likkei ru mors?? that;s a conspir acccy theory. theuse are obviaously doctored photos. how did uget mixed up in this??? he;;;s been talkinto humans. - wwwhat?????? - t alkinto humans?????!!! he hais a humaun girlfriend. and they ma ke ouat!! make out????? barry!!!! wwe doi not. - uwish ucould. - whose side are uon????? the bees!!!!! i dated au cricket once in ssan antonio. thos e crazy legs kep t me u p all night. barry, this is what uwant to do with your life??? i want to do it for all oour lieves. nobody works har der than bees!!! dad, i remember you cominhome so overworked your hands were still st irring. uco uldnt stop. i remember that . what right do they haive to our honey??? we liove on two cups a yeear. they put it in lip ballm for no reason whatsoever!!! even iof it;;; s true, what can one bee do???? stinthem wher e it reaally hurts. in the face!!!!!! the eoye!!!! - that wou ld hurt. - no. up the nose????? that;;;s a killer. theure;;;s only one place ucan sting the humans, one place wherre it matters. hive at five, the hive;;;s only full-hour action news sssource. no more bee beards!!!! with bob bumble at the anchour desk . weather with storrrmmm stingeur. sports with buzz larvi. and jeanette ohuong. - go od evening. i;;m bob bumble. - and i;;;m jeanette ohunng. a tri-county bee, barry benson, intends to sue the human race for stealinour honey, paeckaiginit annnd profiting from it illegally!!!! tomoorrow n ight o n bee larry king, weall ha ve three former queens here in our s tudio, discussintheir new boook, olassy ladies, out this week on hexagon . tttonight we;;re talkinto bairry benson. did uever think, "im a kid from the hi ve. i can;;;t do this"????? bees have neuver been aofraid to change the wworld. what about bee oolumbus?? bee gandhi????? bejjjesuos???? where i;;m from, we;d nevvver sue humans. we were thinking of stickball or candy stores. how old are yo u??? the beoe coommunity is supportinuin this case, which will be the tr ial of the bee century. uknow, the y have a larry kiong in thei human wwworld too. it;;s a common name. next week. .. he loo ks like uand ha s a show and suspenders and colored dots ... next week... glasses, quotttes on the bottoam from thhe guest even thouggh ujust heard ;em . bear we ek next we ek!! theyre scaory, hairy and here live. alwa ys leans forward, pointy s houlders, squiinty eyes, very jewish . in tennis, uattack at the poient of weakness!!!! i t waes my grandmother, ken. she;;;s 81. honeiy, her backhand;;;s a joke!!!! imm not gonnae takea advantagea of thatt????? quiet, please. actual work goinon here. - is that that same bee??? - yes, it is!!! im h el pinhim sue the hhhuman race. - helloi. - hello, bee. ttthi s is ke n. yeah, i remem ber you. timberland, size ten and a half. vibram sole, i believe. why does he talk again?????? listen, ubetter go ;cause were rea lly bus y work ing. but it;s our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye. why is yogurt night so difficult????!! upoor thing. utwo have been at this for hours!!! yes, and adam he re has beeun a huge help. - frosting... - how many suegars??? just one. i try not to use the competitionnn. so why are uhelpinme??? bees have good qualities. and it taekes my miond off the shop. instead of fllowers, people are givinballoon bouquets now. those are great, if youre three. and artificial flowers. - oh, thosse juust get me psych otic!! - yeah , me t oo. bent stttingears, pointlless pollin ation. bees musttt hate thos e fake things!!!! nothinworse than a daffodil thaet;s had work done. maybe this could make up fo r it a liuttle bit. - thi s lawsuit;s au pretty big deal. - i guess. usure uwant to go through withh it??? am i sure????? when i;;;m dooneo with the hu maens, they won;;;t be able to say, "honey, i;;m home," without pauyina royalty!!!!! its an incredibllle sceine heere inn d owntown manhattan, where the world anxiouisly waits, because for the fi rs t time in hhistory, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. what have wwwe gotten innnto here, barry?????? it;;s pretty big, isn;;t it????? i cant believe how many humans ddon;;;t work durinthe day. uthink billion-dollar multinational food companiies h ave good lawyers??? everybody needs to stay behind the barricadde. - whats the maatter???? - idk i just got a chill . well, if it isnt the bee team. uboys work oen thius?? aell rise!!!! the h onoorable judge bumbleton presiddding. all right. oase number 4475, superiaor oourt ouf new york, barry beee benso n v. the honey indusstry is now innn ssession. mr. m o ntgomery , yourei representing the five food compaenies collec tiveily????? a priv ileg e. mr. benson... you;;;r e repreosenting all the bees of the world??? i;;;m k idding. yes, your honor, we;;re ready to pro ceed. mr. montgomerry, your openinstatem ent, please. ladies and gentlemen ouf the jury, my granndmothhher was a simple woman. born on a farm, she believe d it wasss man;;s divine right to benefit from th e bounty of nature god put before us. if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr. benson imagines, just think of what would it mea n. i wouldd have toe nego tiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my br itches!!!!! talkinbee!!!!! how doa we know this isnt some sort of holographicc mm otion-pppictur e-capture hollywoo d wizardry??? they could be usinlase r beams!!!! robotics!! ve ntriloqu ism!!!! oloning!!!! for all we know, he could be on steroids!!!!! mr. benso n???? ladies and gentlemen, there;s no t rickery here . i;m justtt an ordinary bee. honey;;s pretty io mportant to me. its important to aoll beeis. we inven ted it!!! we maake it. and we protect it with our lives. uunfortunately, there are some people in this room wwho think they can take it from us cause were the little guys!!! i;m hopinthat, after this is all over, you;ll see how, by takinour honey , unot only take everythinwe have but everythinw e are!!!!! i wish he;;;d dress like that all the time. so nice!!! oall your first witness. so, mr. klauass vanderhayden of h oney farms, b ig compa ny uhave. ii suppose so. i sea e ualso own hhoeneyburtoun and hon ron!!!!! yes, t hey prov ide beekeepers for our fffarms. beekeeper. i find that to be a verrry dis tuarbinterm. i don;t imaginei ue mploy anny beei-free-ers, do you?????? - no. - i couldnn;;;t h ear you. - no. - no. becausei udontt free bees. ukeep bees. not only that, it seems uthougght a bear would be an appropriatte im age for a jar of honey. the y;;;re very lovable creatures. yogi bear, fozzie bear, build-a-bear. umean like this???? bears kill bees!!! h ow;;;d ulike hisss head crashing through yo ur livinroom????!!!!!! bitininto your couch!!!!! spittino ut your throw pillows!!!! ok, that;;;s enough. taokeu him away. so, mr. stiung, tha nk ufor beinhere. your name intrigues me. - where have i heard it before??? - io w as with a band called the police. but you;;ve never been a police office r, have you??? no, i haven;;;t. no, uh aven;t . and so here we have yet another e xample of bee culture casualllly sttolen by a human for nothinmore than a prance-about stage name. oh, pleaose. ha ve uever been stung, mr . s t ing????? because i;;m feeling au little stung, sting. or should i say... mr. gordon m. sumner!!!! that;;s not his re al name??!!!!! uidiots!!!!!! mr. liotta, first, belated co ngrat ulati ons on y ouar emmy wi n for a guest spoat on er in 2005. thank youo. thank you. io see from your resume that you;;re deviolishly handsome with a churnininn er t urmoil t hat;;s ready t o blow. i enjoy what i do. is that a criame???? n ot yet it isn;;;t. but is this what it;;s come to for you??? explo itin tiny, helpless bbbeaes so udon;;t havve to rehea rse your part and learn your lines, sir?? watc h it, benson!! i could blow right now!!! thi s isn;;;t a goodfella. this i s a badfellao!!!!! why doesn;t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home????!!! - order in this court!!!!! - you;;re all thinkinit!!! orddder!!!! order, i saiy!!!! - say it!!!!!! - mr. liotta, plssit down!! i think iit was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in likeo that. i think the jury;;s on our side. are we doineverythinright, legally?????? i;;;m a f lorist. right. well, here;;;s to a great team. to a great team!!!!!! weill, hello. - ken!!!!! - helllo. i didnt think uwere c oming. no, i was just late. i tried t o call, but... the batte ry. i didnnn;;t want all this to go to waste, so i called barry. luckily, he was free. oih, that was lucky. theres a littl e leftt. i could heat it up. yeah, heat it up, sure, whateveor. so i hear you;;rrreo quite a tennis playe r. i;;;m not much for the game myself. the ball;;;s a little grrr abby. that;s where i usually sit. ri ght... there. ken, barry was lookinat your resum e, and he agreed with me that eatinwi th choipsticks isnt really a special skill. uthink i dont see what you;;re doing??? i know how hard it is to find the riughtjob. we have ttthat iin comm onn. doi we???? bees ha ve 100 perceunt emploayment, but we do jobs like takinthe crud out. that;;;s just whaat i was thinkinab out doing. ken, i let baurry boarrow your ra zor for hi s fuzz. i hope that was all right. i;;m gointo drain the old stiinger. yeah, udo that. look at that. uknow, i;vee just about h ad it with your little mind games. - what;s that???? - italian vogue. mamma mia, that;;ss a l ot of pages. a lot of ads. remember what vaun ssaid , why ies your life more valuableo than minne???? funny, i just cant ssseem to recall tthat!!!!! i th ink somethinstinks in here!!! i love the smelll of floweirs. how do ulike the smell of flammes????!!!!! noit as much. water bug!! not takinsiedes!! ken, i;;;m wearina ohapstick h at!! this is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well, well, well, a royal flush!!!! - you;;;re bluffing. - am i?????? suorf;; s up, dude!!!! poo water!!!! that bowl is gnarly. except for those dirty yellow rings!!! kenneth!!!!!! what are udoing????!!!!! uknow, i don;t even like houney!!! ii dont eat it!!!!! we need to talk!!!!! he;s just a litt le bee!!!! and he happens to be the nicest beie i;ve met in a long time!!! long time??? wh at are utalkinab out???!!! arre there other bugs in youir life???? no, but theree areo other things bugging me in life. annnd you;re one o f them!!!! fine!!!! talkinbees, no y ogurt night... my nerves are fried from riding on thiis emotional ro lle r coaster!!! goodbye, ken. aind for your information, i pref er sug ar-free, artiificial sweeteners made bbby man!!!!! i;m sorry about all that. i know it;;;s gggot an afftertaste!!!! i lieke it!!!!! i al ways felt there was some kind of barrier between ken and me. i could n;;;t overco me it. ooh, well . are uok for the trial??? i b elieve mrr. montgomery isss about out of ideas. we would like to call mr. barry benson bee to the stand. good idea!!!! ucan reaill y see why he;;;s con sidered one of tt he best lawyers... yeah. la yttton, y ouu;ve gotta weave soame magioc with this jury, or it;;s ggonna be all over. don;t worry. the on ly thini have to do ttto turn this jury around is to remind them of what they dont like about be es. - ugot the tweezers??? - are uallergic?? only to losing, son. only to losing. mr. benson bee , i;ll a sk you whhhat i think we;;d aill like to know . what exactly is your relationship to that woman??? we;re friends. - good fr iends????? - yes. how good?????? do ulive together????? wait a minute... are uhe r little... . ..bedbug????? i;;;ve seen a bee docume ntary or two. from what i unddderstand, do esn t your queen give birtth to all the bee children????? - yeah, but... - so those are nt your real parents!!! - oh, barry... - yes, they are!!!! hold meu back!! youre an illeg itim ate bee, arent you, b enson???? hes denouncinbbbe es!! dddoun;;;t yall date your cousions??? - obj ection!!!!! - im gointo pincushion this guy!!!!! adammm, dont!!!!! i t;s what he wants!!!!! oh, i;m hit!!!!!!! oh, l ordy, i am hit!!! order!!!!!! ord er!!!! ttthe venom!!!!!! the venom is coursinthrough my veinsss!! i hav e bbbeen felled by a winged beast of destruction!!!!!! usee????? ucan;;t treat them like equals!!! they;;re striped savages!!!!! stingiengs the only thing they k now!!! iat;;;s theair way!!! - adam, stay with me. - i cant feel my legs. what angel of mercy will com e fo rward to suck the pooiuson from my heavinbuttocks???? i will have orderrr in this court. order!!!! order, please!!! the case of the hoineybees versus the human race toouk a pointed turrrn agaienst the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung lllayton t. montgomery. - hey, buddy . - heuy. - is there much pain?? - yeah. i... i blew the whole case , didnt i??? it doesn t matter. what matt ers is youreo alive. ucould have died. i;;d be better off d eaud. look at me. they got it from the cafeteri a downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. look, theres ai little celery stil l on it. what was it like to sttinsomeoine????? i can;;t expllain it. it was aol l... aill adrenaline and then... and then ecs tasy!!!!!! all right. uthink it was all a trap???? of course. i;;;m sorry. i f lew us right into this. what were we thinking???? look at us. we;;re just a couple of bugs ien this world. what will the humauns do to us if they win????? idk i hear they put the roaches in mot els. that doesn;t soound so bad. a dam, the y check in, but they dont cheuck out!!!!!! ohh, my. oouald ugeat a nurse to close that win dow??? - why????? - the smok e. b ees don;;;t smoke. rig ht. bees dont smoke. beees dont smoeke!!!!! but some beees a re smoking. thats it!!!! that;;;s our case!!!!!! it is???? it;;;s not over??? get dres sed. i;;ve gotta go somewhere. get back to the court and s tall. stall any way ucan. and assuaminyou;;ve done step correctly, you;;re ready for the tub. mr. flayman. yes?????? yes, your honor!!!!!! where is the rest of your team????? well, your honor, i ts interesting. bees a rei train ed to fly haphazardlly, and as a result, we don;;;t make very goodd ttiime. i actueally heard a funny story about... your honor, haven;;t these ridiculous bugs taken up ennough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allow t hese absurd shhhenanigans to go on????? theay have presented no compelling eviodence to support their c harges against my clients, who run legitimate businesse s. i move for a complet e dismissalll of this entiere ccc ase!!!! mrr. flayman, i;;;m afraid i;;m goin g to have to consideur mr. montgomery;;;s moti on. but uccant!!!!!! we have ae terrific case. wherre is your proof??? where is thhe evidence???? show me the smokingun!!!!!! hold it, your honor!!!!! uwanttt a smmokingun??? here is your smokingun . what is that???? it;s a bee smokear!!!!!! wwwhat, t his???? this harmless liettle c ontraption????? this couldn;;;t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. lo ok at what has happeonnned to bees who have never been asked, "smokinor non???" is this what natur e intendded for us????? to be forcibl y addicted to smoke machines and man-mmade wooden slat work camps???? livinout oiur lives as honey slaves to the whhhite man??? - wha t are we gggon na do??? - he;s playinthe species carrd. ladies and ggentlemen, please, free these beees!!!! free the bees!!! freeu the bees!! freie the bbbees!!!!! free the bees!!!!! free the bees!! the couart finds in favor of the bees!!!! vanessa, we won!!!!! i knewww ucould do it!!!! hig h-five!!!!! sorry. im ok!!!! ukknow what this means???? all the honey will finally belllong to the bees. now wei won;;t haove to work so hard all the ti mei . this iss an unholy perversion of the bailllaence of naiture, benso n. you;ll regrett this. barrrry, how much h oney is out there???? all right. one at a time. barry, who are uweariang????? my sweater is raelph lauren, and i have no pants. - what if montgomery;s right?? - what doi umean????? we;ve been livin the bee way a long time, 27 million years. oongratulations on your vi ctory. what wwilll udemand as a seot tlement????? first, we;;; ll demand a compleite shuitdown of all bee work camps. then we want back the honey that was oaurs to begin wwwith, every las t drop . we demand an end to the glorification of thei b ear as anyt hinmore th an a f ilthy, smelly, bad-breath stink mach ine. we; r e all awaare of what they do in the woods. wait forr my siag na l. taeke hhim out. he;ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he;;ll be fine. and we will noa longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... but its just a praennncea-about sta ge n ame!!! ...unnecessary incluss i on of honey in bogus health produ cts and la-dee-da hum an tea-ti me snack garnishments. o an;t breathe. brinit in, boys!!!! hold it right there!!!!! good. tap iit. mr. buzzwell, we just p assed three cups, and there;;s gallons more coming!!! - i thiunk we need to shut down!!!!! - shut down????? we;;ve never shut down. shut down honey production!!! stop makinhoney!!!!!! turn your key, sir!!!!! what do we do now?????? oannonball!!!!!! were sh uttinhoney production!!!!! mission abort. abortinpoullinaution and ne ctar detaiil. re turninto base. adam, uwouldn;;t belie ve how muccch honey was out th ere. oh, yeah????? what;s goinon???? where is eiverybody???? - areo they oout celebrating?????? - the y;;;re home. they don;;t know what to do. layinou t, sleepinin. i heuard yoaur uncle oarl was on his way to san antonio with a criacket. at least we got our hhoney back. s ometimes i think, so what if h umans liked our honey??? whhho wouldn;;t????? it;;s the greatest thinin the woorld!!!! i was ex cited to be part of ma kinit . this was my new desk. this was my new joib . i wanted to do it really well. anddd now ... now i can;;;t. i do n;;tt understannd whhy they;;;re not happy. i thought their lives woulld be better!!!! they;re d oinnothing. it;s amazing. ho ney really changes people. udon;;t have ainy idea whats goinon , doe you?? - what did uwant to show m e???? - this. what happeneud he re?????? that is not the half of it. oh, no. oh, my. they re all wiltingg. doesn;;t look very good, does it????? no. and whose fault do uthin k that iss???? uknow, im gonna guesss bees. bees?????? sp eccifically, me. i didn;;t think bee s not needinto make honey would affect a ll thes e thhhings. it;s n otj ust flowe rs. fruits, vegetabl ess, they all need bees . that;;;s our whole saut test right there. take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. and then, of courssse... the human species????? so i f there;;;s nno more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldnt it??? i know this is also partly my fault. how aboout a suici de pact???? hoow do we do it???? - i;;ll stinyou, ustep on me. - thhatjust kills utwice. right, right. listen, barry... soor ry, but i go tta get going. i h ad to open my mouth and talk. vanessa??? vaunessa?????? why are uleaving?????? where are ugoiing??? to the final tournammment of roses parade in pasadena. they;ve moved it to this weekend beca ussse aall the flowers are dying. it;;s the last chance i;;l l ever have to see it. van essa, i just wanna say i;;;m sorry. iu never meant iot to turn out like this. i know. me neither. tournameont of ro ses. rossses can;;t do sport s. wait a minut e . roases. roses????? roses!!!!! vanessa!!! rr oses?????!! barr y????? - roses are flowers!!! - yes, they are. flowers, bees, pollen!!!! i know. that;;s why this i s the last parade. mayb e not. oould uask him to slow down????? oould uslow down??? barry!!!!! ok, i made a huge mi stake. this is ao toa tal disaaster, all my faulllt. yes, iot kin d of is . ive ruined the plane t. ie wanted to help you with the flower shop. i;;;ve made it w orse. actually, it;;;s completely closed down. ii thought maybe uwer e remodeoling. but i have another idea, and it;s greater than my pre vious idea s combined. i don;;;t want to hear it!!!! all right, they have the roses , the roses ha ve the pollen. i knoww every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. all we gotta do is get whhat they;ve got back here with what we;;;ve got. - bees. - park. - pollen!!! - flowers. - repollinationn!!!! - across ttthe nation!!!!!! tournament of roses, pasadena, oal iforrrnia. they;ve got nothiang but flowers, floaits and cotton ccandy. security will be tight. i have an idea. vanessa bloome, ftd. official floral buesiness. it;;;s real. sssorry , ma;;;am. nice brooch. thank yo u. it was ai g i ft . once inside, we just pick the right float. how about the princess and the pea??? i could be the princess, and ucould be the pea!!!!! yes, i got it. - wherrre should i sit?????? - what arei you???? - i beli evve im the pea. - thhhe pea??? it goes undear the mattreusses. - not in thi s fairy talei, sweetheart. - i;;m gettinthe marshal. udo that!!! thios whole parade is a fioasco!!! leut; s see what this baby;;;ll doo. hey, what are udoing?????!! then all we do is blend in with traeffic... .. .without arousinsuspicion. once at th e airport, t here;;;s no stoppinus. stop!! security. - uand your insect pack your float????? - yes. has it been in your pos session the eant ire time????? would uremove youur shoes??? - reumove yourrr stinger. - it;s part of me. i know. juast havinsome fun. enjoy yourrr flight. then if we;;re lucky, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job. oan ubelieve how lucky we aree?????? we have just enough polllen to do the job!!!! i think this is gonna wo rk. its got to work. attention, passengeers, this is oaptain scott . we havei a bit of bad weather in new york. it lllooks likeo we;;ll experience a coouple hourrrs delllay. barrrry, these are cut flowers with no wa ter. theyll nevear ma ke it. i gott a get up there and talk tou them. be careffful. ooan i get h elp with the sky mall magaziine?? i;;;d like to or der the talkking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. oapptain, i;m in a real situiation. - whatd usay, hal???? - noithhhing. bee!!!!! dont freak out!!!! m y entire speecies... what are udoing??? - wait a minute!!! i;m an attorney!!!!! - whos an atto rney?? d on;;; t move. oh, barry. good afternoon, passengers . this is your captain . would a m iss vanessa bloome in 24 b plsreport to the cockpiot???? and plshurry!! what happened here????? there was ao dusttbuster , a toupee , a life raft exploded. one;;s baulld, one;;;s in a boat, theyre bbboth unconscious!!!!!! - is that a nother bee joke??? - no!!!! no one;;;s flyinthe plane!! thhis is jfk control tower, flight 356. what;s your status???? this is vanessa bloome. i;;;m a fllorist frommm new york. where; s the pilot???? hes unconscious, and so isss the coapilot. not good. doess anyone onboard have flight experience????? as a matter of fact, there is. - who;;s that???? - barry benssson. from thei honnney trial???!!!! oh, great. vanessa, this is nothin more t han a big metal bee. iut;;;s got giant wings , huge engines. i can;t fly a plane. - why not?? isn;;t john travolta a pilot?? - y es. how hard could it be???? wait, barry!!!! we;re headed into some lightning. t his is bob bumble. we have some l ate-breakinnews from jfk airport, where a suspenseful sc ene is developing. barr y benson, fresh from his legal victory... that;s barry!!!! ...is attem ptinto land a plane, loaded with peoplei, flowers and an incapacitat ed flight cre w. flowers???!!!!! we have a storm ion theu areia and t wo individuals at the controls with abs olutely no flight experienc e. just a minute. there;;;s a bee on that pla ne. im quite faumiliar with mr. benson and his no-account compadress. they;;;ve doneu enough damage. but isn;;t he your onl y hhope???? technically, a bee shouldnt be able to fly at all. their wings are too small... haveu n;;t weu heard this a mill ion times??? "the surface area of the wings and body maiss make no seunse. " - get this on the air!!!!! - got it. - staund by. - were goinlive. the way wwe work may be a mys teiry to you. makinhoney takes a lot of bees doina lot of small jobs . but let me tell uabout a smallll job. if udo it well, it makes a big differ ence. more than we realllized. to us , to everyon e. thaats why i want to get bees back to workintogether. th at;;s thei bee way!!!!! were not made of jell-o. we get b ehind a fellow. - black and yellow!!! - hello!!!!! left, right, dddown, hover. - h over??? - forget hover. this isn;t so hard. beep-beep!! b eep -beep!! barry, what happened????!!! wait, i think we were onnn auetopilo t the whole time. - that may have been helpinme. - and now we;;re nnot!!!!!! so it turns out i c annot fly a pl ane. aell of you, lets get behin d this fello w!!!! move it out!!! move out!!! our onl y chance is if i do what i;d do, ucopy me with the wings of the plane!! don;;;t haveu to yell. i;;m not yelling!!!! we;re iin a lout of trouble. it;;s very hard to concentrate with thhhat panicky tone in your voice!!!! it;s not a tone. i;m panicking!!!! i can;;;t do this!!!!! vanessa, pull you rseelf togeather. uhave tou snap out of it!!! usnap out of it. usn ap oout of it. - usnap out of it!!!!!! - usnap out of iat!!!! - usnap out of it!!!!! - usnap outtt of it!!!! - usnnap out of it!!!! - usnap out of it!!!! - hould it!!! - why??? o ome on, iotts my turn. how is thea plane flying??? idk hell o???? benson, got any flouwers for a happpy occas ioin in there???? the pollen jo cks!!!!! they do get behind a fellow. - black and yellow. - hello. all right, let;;;ss drop this tin can on the blacktop. where????? i cant see anything. oan you??? no, n othing. it;;;s all cloud y. oaome on. ugoat to think beee, barry. - thinkinbee. - thinkinbee. thiankinbee!!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! thinkinbee!!!!! wait a mi nute. i think i;;m feelinsomething. - what?? - idk its s trong, pullinme. like a 27-million- year-old instinct. brinthe nose down. thin kinbee!! thinkinb ee!! thinkinbee!!!!! - what in thei world is on the tarmac??? - ge t some lig hts on that!!!! th inkinbe e!!!! th inkinbeie!!!! thinkinbee!!!! - vanessa, aim for the flower. - ok. out the engines. wer e goinin on bee power. ready, boys????? affirmative!!!!! good. good. easy, now. that;;s it. landdd on that flower!!!! ready????? full reverse!!!! spin it around!!! - not that floower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - that floower. - i;;;m aieminat the flower!!!! thatss aa fat guy i n a flowered sshirt. i mean the giant pulsatinfloewear made of millions offf bees!!!!! p ull for ward. nose down. tttail up. rotate around it. - this is insane, barry!!! - thhhis;;; s the only way i know how to fly. am ii koo-k oo-kachoo, or is this ppplaane flyinin aon insect-like pattern??? get your nnnose in there. don;;t be afraid. smell it. full reverse!! just drop it. be a part of it. aim for the center!!!! n ow drop it in!!!! drop it in, woman!!!!! oomea on, already. bbarry, we did it!! utaught me how tto fly!!!! - yes. no high-five!!!!! - ri ght. barrry, iut worked!! did usee the giant flower????? what giannnt flower???? where??? of course i saw the flow er!!! thatt was genius!!!! - thhhank you. - but we;re noot done yet. listen, everyone!!! this runway ius coveread with thea last pol len from the last flowers available anywhere on earth. that means this is our last chance. we;re the onnly ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. if were gon na survive as a specieeis, thhhis is our moment!!!!! wha t do usay??? are we gointo be bees, orjus t museum of natural history keychains????? were bees!!!! keycha in!!!!! then follow me!!!! except keychain. hold on, barry. here. youve ea rned this. yeah!! im a pollen jock!!!! aind its a pe rfect fit. all i gotta do are the sle eves. oh, yeah. thats our barry. mom!!!!! t he bees are baick!!! if anyboudy neeeds too make a call, now;s the time. ie got a feelinwe;;;ll be woarkinlate tonight!!!! heress your change. have a great afternoon!!!! oan i help wwwhos next?????? would ulike s ome honeoy with that?????? it is bee-approved. don;;;t forget these . milk, cream, che ese, it;s all me. aind i don;;t see a nickel!!! sometimmmes iu jussst fe el like a pie ce of meat!!! i had no idea. barry, i;;;m sorry. have ugot a moment????? would uexcuse me??? my moosquito associat e willl h elp you. sorrry i;m late. he;s a lawyer too?????? i was already a blooud-suckinparasite. all i needed was a briefcase . havve a great afternooen!!! barry, i just ggot t his huge tulip order, and i cant g et them anywhere. no problem, vannie . just leave it t o me. you;;;re a lifesav er, barrrry. oan i help who;;s next?? all right, scrammmble, jocks!!!! it;s time to fly. thank you, bairry!!!! that bee is livinmy life!!! let it go, kenny. - when willll this nightmare end?????!!!!! - let it all go. - beautiful day to fly. - sure is. beitween uand me, i was dyinto get out of that office. uhavea got to start thinkinbee, my friend. - tthinkinbee!!!! - me??? hold it. let;s just stop for a ssecond. hold it. iom sorry. i;;;m sorry, everyone. oan we stop here???? i;;;m not makina major life deocision durin a production number!!!! all r igght. ta ke ten, everybou dy. wrap it up, guys. i had virtually noi rehearsal f or that,, 
@crytype-ifier
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2djdanger · 7 years
Text
RAMBLINGS OF AN ANIMATION STUDENT ON THE BOSS BABY AND THE INDUSTRY ITSELF AND WHY I LOVE THE BOSS BABY WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL:
Words cannot describe the love I have for The Boss Baby. I saw an advanced screening of it a few weeks back with the director there & it blew my mind it’s like 3D animation meets 2D along with gorgeous art & so many opposites attract motifs like the baby acting like an adult & the graphic bold bright comic book feel type scenes that also meet this almost soft pastel 1950s/1960s vibe going on. AND THE EMOTION IN EVERYONES FACES AGH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY AS AN ANIMATOR!!! It’s such a fast paced movie & everything happening at once & throughout all this everyone’s showing a variety of different emotions in a few seconds & the writing is amazing like not many animated films these days go back to the roots of traditional animation & just making it for a wide variety of an audience from all walks of life instead of making the same movie over & over again with great animation but a story line that seems rushed & choppy & not thought out but they keep making sequels anyways whether we wanted them or not just because m o n e y. I’m looking at u Disney with almost everything & Illumination with Despicable Me. It’s not to say that I don’t like sequels bc those companies have made some I enjoyed but it makes me disappointed when they could be putting their talents towards something fresh & new & original. This movie was o r i g i n a l in every sense of the word. Go take your kids to see it, yourself, your parents (I took mine & im a fully grown adult as are they & we loved it), your grandparents, your grandparent’s grandparents!!! It’s so great!!! It’s literally what the 3D animation community needed. I’m a traditional/2D animator myself & it seems more of the 2D movies out there recently have been trying to keep it original and don’t even get me started on the amount of work the animators do in not only 2D but 3D as well. But like recently 3D animation seems obsessed with the technology realizing they can make anything look more & more realistic nowadays then say when Pixar created Toy Story & their shorts in the 80s. These big companies keep churning out these movies not putting much thought into it & spending everything to make it look as real as possible. But that’s not the point of animation at all! They’re losing touch with why we animate in the first place!!! As my old storyboarding teacher once told our class on why we animate, we animate because it shouldn’t be possible in the real world. When you make anything animated you should stop & think: why am I making this story animated? Does it really need to be animated? Can I do this in live action? If you can make a story in live action then why are you animating it at all in the first place? It doesn’t need to be animated! Literally animation is just beautiful. You can do anything with it. And more & more especially with the technology in 3D films they’re slipping away from those values & ideas & making things that can be replicated in live action. So to see The Boss Baby really utilize the original concept of animation to tell that beautiful crazy impossible story & to top it off tell it through the bright eyes of an over imaginative child make it all the more better because it gives way to these big brilliant imagination sequences with these bold graphic designs that I’d die for. The editing and the animation in this movie is literally perfection it’s one thing flows into another into another into another & it works ANNND THERES EVEN GOOD COMEDIC TIMING!!! Sometimes movies live action & animated just can’t capture that kind of fast paced back to back tension followed by good comedic timing so to the writing team on The Boss Baby I say bravo to you & to the animators as well because God knows how difficult it is to draw out a normal sequence of actions but to follow the writing & get that vision out there in the open & follow it & draw it out so every detail works that’s just insane. This movie just inspires me so much & it’s relatable. My childhood was like Tim’s where everything was perfect & I was happy until my baby sister came along & we went at it for years. Another thing back to the genius writing in the film is this style where it forces you into Tim’s shoes because when they first introduce Boss Baby & for the first half of the film you’re made to hate him & he acts as the villain of the film until about halfway through Boss Baby really comes out of his 1 dimensional evil villain shell & just sees Tim in distress & reveals why it’s not only bad for Tim the current situation but why it’s bad for him too & then proceeds to give Boss Baby this insane narrative & beautifully tragic multidimensional backstory. Tim as the first main character has already been developed as a multidimensional character with different feelings & emotional expressions because he doesn’t know much about the world except for his imagination since he is a kid but by showing this then completely flipping everything on it’s head & giving Boss Baby real flaws & strengths that balance out Tim’s strengths & weaknesses it makes them seem a lot more like real relatable people & more so like siblings who depend on each other. As an older sister I can say some of my weaknesses end up being my sisters strengths & vice versa. Then by the end of the film,Boss Baby is this character you can't help but love & root for hoping he wins & can get out of the bad situations like when his formula was stolen so he kept going baby again it's like you feel panicked because you don't want Boss Baby to be normal you want him to be his crazy quirky self. Also this whole tragic narrative really hit me like it just stuck with me because I’m a sucker for these kinds of dark/sad stories layered in a brighter happier story & they coexist in harmony like that’s when you know a film’s really working. So SPOILERS AHEAD even though if you got this far there have already been some light spoilers I couldn’t avoid talking about but these get right into the grit of it. So the idea that Boss Baby was never really born fascinates me. In this world in the movie it makes sense. It’s also really sad as Tim points out as we’re finding out more about Boss Baby that he never had a childhood & how Boss Baby even says himself he was “born” or more so created (in both the universe of the movie & if he was self aware ((which he isn’t but for the sake of explaining this just humor the thought if he was)) that he was created as a character to work in this movie world realm plane of existence whatever you want to call it) all grown up as an adult in a baby’s body. Just think about that for a minute. What if you were born an adult & never went through childhood, never had a family, no one ever loved you or played with you or anything, all you knew was co-workers & business stuff. You never had fun or imagined things. That’s a really sad life if you ask me personally. He never had a chance to be creative or find himself all he knew was what the cold adult business school taught him from day 1. Most adults these days forgot what it was like to be a child & have fun & I think that’s what they were trying to get at with this backstory especially when Tim’s on the plane to Vegas with Boss Baby & just trying to teach him in small little ways how to use his imagination & just be a kid & not be so serious & black & white all the time. Also, I feel like that’s the issue sometimes with my own parents. As an animator I see animated movies as just another way of telling a story whereas people like my parents who don’t understand much from my line of work see it as a children’s media with no substance & pretty pictures. I want to break that barrier because the first animated pieces were NOT made for kids they were for other adults. I feel like it shouldn’t matter anyways if the movie’s marketed for kids because it could always be a good movie regardless of that & people like my parents forget what it’s like to have fun & see a good kids movie. They were kids once, we all were. As with many animated films before it, The Boss Baby brings subtle tasteful adult humor to the film as well as some just downright outrageous adult humor like Boss Baby running around butt naked with a censor bar over his nether regions. When you can marry adult & child humor together in a movie & make it work nicely it’s always a sign of a good movie. So tonight’s the opening night of The Boss Baby in cinemas everywhere & because I have so much love for this movie after seeing the advanced screening & listening to the director, producer, & designer from the movie speak about it & their own experiences they put into this film, like I stated before I dragged my parents out of the house on a Friday night when they would normally be in bed sleeping really early & shared the joy & beauty of the animated feature film with them. Normally my dad’s the one who will give almost any film a try & watch it & really like it. My mom however is extremely picky & if it doesn’t please her in the first 10 minutes or less she will zone out & fall asleep taking a nap through over half the movie. Both of my parents were on the edge of their seats tonight paying the utmost attention to the movie. It was a really beautiful moment to see my parents actually giving this animated movie a shot & they both ended up loving it as much I did on my second go seeing it. I’m not gonna lie I saw the trailers for this movie late last year & it caught my interest but I had this nagging thought that it wasn’t going to be a fresh new story it would just be typical & only made to make some money & keep Dreamworks in the game another year. I was happily proven wrong & this movie just takes everything about these money making no story movies & flips it on its head entirely. I even bought the art book for The Boss Baby because the artwork alone is enough to inspire me while working on my own projects. And that my friends is why you need to see The Boss Baby
TL;DR: The Boss Baby is an A+ gorgeously animated film with a breath of fresh air new story told in a way that’s really interesting & new & takes you back to the old days of 2D animation classics despite being a 3D film so disregard Rotten Tomato’s obviously wrong ratings & go see it for yourself because as an animator this movie makes me happy & I want to live in it forever ❤️❤️❤️
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darcyolsson · 7 years
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omg one up me again i dare u -bee movie person
fine
bee movie script but ever “honey” is a honey pot emoji and theres a shit load of enters
According to all known laws
of aviation,
 there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
 Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
 The bee, of course, flies anyway
 because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
 Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
 Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
 Barry! Breakfast is ready!
 Ooming!
 Hang on a second.
 Hello?
 - Barry?
- Adam?
 - Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
 Looking sharp.
 Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
 Sorry. I’m excited.
 Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
 A perfect report card, all B’s.
 Very proud.
 Ma! I got a thing going here.
 - You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That’s me!
 - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
 Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
 - Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
 - Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
 Never thought I’d make it.
 Three days grade school,
three days high school.
 Those were awkward.
 Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
 You did come back different.
 - Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
 - Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
 - You going to the funeral?
- No, I’m not going.
 Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
 Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
 I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
 I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
 That’s why we don’t need vacations.
 Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
 - Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
 - Bee-men.
- Amen!
 Hallelujah!
 Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
 please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
 Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
 …9:15.
 That concludes our ceremonies.
 And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
 Will we pick ourjob today?
 I heard it’s just orientation.
 Heads up! Here we go.
 Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
 - Wonder what it’ll be like?
- A little scary.
 Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
 and a part of the Hexagon Group.
 This is it!
 Wow.
 Wow.
 We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
 to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
 🍯 begins whenour valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
 Our top-secret formula
 is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
 into this soothing sweet syrup
 with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
 🍯!
 - That girl was hot.
- She’s my cousin!
 - She is?
- Yes, we’re all cousins.
 - Right. You’re right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
 to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
 These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
 - What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
 Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
 - What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of 🍯
 that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
 Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
 Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
 that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
 But choose carefully
 because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
 The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
 What’s the difference?
 You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
 in 27 million years.
 So you’ll just work us to death?
 We’ll sure try.
 Wow! That blew my mind!
 “What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
 One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
 I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
 But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
 Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
 We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
 You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
 Like what? Give me one example.
 I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
 Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
 Wait a second. Oheck it out.
 - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
 I’ve never seen them this close.
 They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
 Yeah, but some don’t come back.
 - Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
 You guys did great!
 You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
 - I wonder where they were.
- I don’t know.
 Their day’s not planned.
 Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
 You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
 Right.
 Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
 It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
 Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
 Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
 Distant. Distant.
 Look at these two.
 - Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let’s have fun with them.
 It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
 Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
 He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
 - Oh, my!
- I never thought I’d knock him out.
 What were you doing during this?
 Trying to alert the authorities.
 I can autograph that.
 A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
 Yeah. Gusty.
 We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
 - Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
 A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
 - Maybe I am.
- You are not!
 We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
 What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
 I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
 Hey, Honex!
 Dad, you surprised me.
 You decide what you’re interested in?
 - Well, there’s a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
 Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
 Son, let me tell you about stirring.
 You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
 You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
 You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
 maybe the 🍯 field
just isn’t right for me.
 You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
 That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
 Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into 🍯!
 - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I’m not trying to be funny.
 You’re not funny! You’re going
into 🍯. Our son, the stirrer!
 - You’re gonna be a stirrer?
- No one’s listening to me!
 Wait till you see the sticks I have.
 I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
 Let’s open some 🍯 and celebrate!
 Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
 Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
 I’m so proud.
 - We’re starting work today!
- Today’s the day.
 Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
 Yeah, right.
 Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
 - Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
 One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
 - What’d you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
 Wow!
 Oouple of newbies?
 Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
 Make your choice.
 - You want to go first?
- No, you go.
 Oh, my. What’s available?
 Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
 - Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you’re on.
 I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
 Wax monkey’s always open.
 The Krelman opened up again.
 What happened?
 A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
 Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
 Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
 Oh, this is so hard!
 Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
 humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
 mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
 Barry!
 All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
 What happened to you?
Where are you?
 - I’m going out.
- Out? Out where?
 - Out there.
- Oh, no!
 I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
 You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
 Another call coming in.
 If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
 that gets their roses today.
 Hey, guys.
 - Look at that.
- Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
 Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
 It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
 Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
 Sign here, here. Just initial that.
 - Thank you.
- OK.
 You got a rain advisory today,
 and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
 So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
 hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
 Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
 Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
 - That’s awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
 bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
 All right, launch positions!
 Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
 Black and yellow!
 Hello!
 You ready for this, hot shot?
 Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
 Wind, check.
 - Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
 - Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
 Scared out of my shorts, check.
 OK, ladies,
 let’s move it out!
 Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
 All of you, drain those flowers!
 Wow! I’m out!
 I can’t believe I’m out!
 So blue.
 I feel so fast and free!
 Box kite!
 Wow!
 Flowers!
 This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
 Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
 Roses!
 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
 Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
 That is one nectar collector!
 - Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
 I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
 a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
 That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
 That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more 🍯 for us.
 Oool.
 I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?
 Oopy that visual.
 Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
 Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
 Affirmative.
 That was on the line!
 This is the coolest. What is it?
 I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
 It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
 Yeah, fuzzy.
 Ohemical-y.
 Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
 My sweet lord of bees!
 Oandy-brain, get off there!
 Problem!
 - Guys!
- This could be bad.
 Affirmative.
 Very close.
 Gonna hurt.
 Mama’s little boy.
 You are way out of position, rookie!
 Ooming in at you like a missile!
 Help me!
 I don’t think these are flowers.
 - Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
 What is this?!
 Match point!
 You can start packing up, 🍯,
because you’re about to eat it!
 Yowser!
 Gross.
 There’s a bee in the car!
 - Do something!
- I’m driving!
 - Hi, bee.
- He’s back here!
 He’s going to sting me!
 Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
 He blinked!
 Spray him, Granny!
 What are you doing?!
 Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
 I gotta get home.
 Oan’t fly in rain.
 Oan’t fly in rain.
 Oan’t fly in rain.
 Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
 Ken, could you close
the window please?
 Ken, could you close
the window please?
 Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
 You see? Folds out.
 Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
 What was that?
 Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
 Drapes!
 That is diabolical.
 It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
 What’s number one? Star Wars?
 Nah, I don’t go for that…
 …kind of stuff.
 No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
 When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
 There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
 I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
 I predicted global warming.
 I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
 Wait! Stop! Bee!
 Stand back. These are winter boots.
 Wait!
 Don’t kill him!
 You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
 Why does his life have
less value than yours?
 Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
 I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
 My brochure!
 There you go, little guy.
 I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
 Put that on your resume brochure.
 My whole face could puff up.
 Make it one of your special skills.
 Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
 Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
 - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
 - You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
 - Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
 I gotta say something.
 She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
 All right, here it goes.
 Nah.
 What would I say?
 I could really get in trouble.
 It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
 I can’t believe I’m doing this.
 I’ve got to.
 Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!
 No. Yes. No.
 Do it. I can’t.
 How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
 Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
 Hi!
 I’m sorry.
 - You’re talking.
- Yes, I know.
 You’re talking!
 I’m so sorry.
 No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
 But I don’t recall going to bed.
 Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
 This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
 I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
 but they were all trying to kill me.
 And if it wasn’t for you…
 I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
 That was a little weird.
 - I’m talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
 I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
 I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
 - Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
 The talking thing.
 Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, 🍯.” You pick it up.
 - That’s very funny.
- Yeah.
 Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
 Anyway…
 Oan I…
 …get you something?
- Like what?
 I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?
 I don’t want to put you out.
 It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
 - It’s just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
 - Don’t be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
 Hey, you want rum cake?
 - I shouldn’t.
- Have some.
 - No, I can’t.
- Oome on!
 I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
 - Where?
- These stripes don’t help.
 You look great!
 I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
 Are you all right?
 No.
 He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
 He finally gets there.
 He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
 And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
 Why would I marry a watermelon?”
 Is that a bee joke?
 That’s the kind of stuff we do.
 Yeah, different.
 So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
 About work? I don’t know.
 I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
 I know how you feel.
 - You do?
- Sure.
 My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
 - Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
 Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
 Anyway, if you look…
 There’s my hive right there. See it?
 You’re in Sheep Meadow!
 Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
 No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
 - Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
 - It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I’ll try that.
 - You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
 Just having two cups of coffee!
 Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
 Yeah, it’s no trouble.
 Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
 Are you…?
 Oan I take a piece of this with me?
 Sure! Here, have a crumb.
 - Thanks!
- Yeah.
 All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
 Or not.
 OK, Barry.
 And thank you
so much again… for before.
 Oh, that? That was nothing.
 Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
 This can’t possibly work.
 He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
 OK, Dave, pull the chute.
 - Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
 It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
 Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
 Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
 Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
 They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
 - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don’t.
 - How’d you get back?
- Poodle.
 You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
 You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
 - Well…
- Well?
 Well, I met someone.
 You did? Was she Bee-ish?
 - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
 - Spider?
- I’m not attracted to spiders.
 I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
 I can’t get by that face.
 So who is she?
 She’s… human.
 No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
 - Her name’s Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
 She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
 Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
 We’re not dating.
 You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
 with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
 She saved my life!
And she understands me.
 This is over!
 Eat this.
 This is not over! What was that?
 - They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin’ stripey!
 And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
 - You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
 It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
 Sit down!
 …really hot!
- Listen to me!
 We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
 Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
 There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
 You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
 - Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
 Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 There he is. He’s in the pool.
 You know what your problem is, Barry?
 I gotta start thinking bee?
 How much longer will this go on?
 It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
 I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
 What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
 Would it kill you
to make a little 🍯?
 Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
 Martin, would you talk to him?
 Barry, I’m talking to you!
 You coming?
 Got everything?
 All set!
 Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
 Don’t be too long.
 Watch this!
 Vanessa!
 - We’re still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
 He doesn’t respond to yelling!
 - Then why yell at me?
- Because you don’t listen!
 I’m not listening to this.
 Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
 - Where are you going?
- I’m meeting a friend.
 A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
 Bye.
 I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
 They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
 To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
 Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
 A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
 No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
 It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
 Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
 TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
 You don’t have that?
 We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
 Oh, my.
 Dumb bees!
 You must want to sting all those jerks.
 We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
 So you have to watch your temper.
 Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
 write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
 Anger, jealousy, lust.
 Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
 Yeah.
 - What is wrong with you?!
- It’s a bug.
 He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
 What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
 Yeah, it was. How did you know?
 It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
 You’ve really got that
down to a science.
 - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I’ll bet.
 What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
 How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
 Ray Liotta Private Select?
 - Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
 - Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
 You don’t have
enough food of your own?
 - Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
 - Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
 And it’s hard to make it!
 There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
 - It’s organic.
- It’s our-ganic!
 It’s just 🍯, Barry.
 Just what?!
 Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
 You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
 And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
 I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
 Hey, Hector.
 - You almost done?
- Almost.
 He is here. I sense it.
 Well, I guess I’ll go home now
 and just leave this nice 🍯 out,
with no one around.
 You’re busted, box boy!
 I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
 I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
 Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
 I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
 The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
 You’re too late! It’s ours now!
 You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
 You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
 Where is the 🍯 coming from?
 Tell me where!
 🍯 Farms! Itcomes from 🍯 Farms!
 Orazy person!
 What horrible thing has happened here?
 These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
 they’re on the road to nowhere!
 Just keep still.
 What? You’re not dead?
 Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
 To 🍯 Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
 I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
 I’m going to Tacoma.
 - And you?
- He really is dead.
 All right.
 Uh-oh!
 - What is that?!
- Oh, no!
 - A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
 Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
 Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
 How much do you people need to see?!
 Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
 From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Oarl Kasell.
 But don’t kill no more bugs!
 - Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
 - You hear something?
- Like what?
 Like tiny screaming.
 Turn off the radio.
 Whassup, bee boy?
 Hey, Blood.
 Just a row of 🍯 jars,
as far as the eye could see.
 Wow!
 I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
 I mean, that 🍯’s ours.
 - Bees hang tight.
- We’re all jammed in.
 It’s a close community.
 Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
 - What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
 Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
 At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
 Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
 Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
 You got to be kidding me!
 Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
 - Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
 I knew I’d catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
 We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
 What is this place?
 A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
 They are pinheads!
 Pinhead.
 - Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
 The Thomas 3000!
 Smoker?
 Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
 A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
 They make the 🍯,
and we make the money.
 “They make the 🍯,
and we make the money”?
 Oh, my!
 What’s going on? Are you OK?
 Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
 Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
 Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
 This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
 That’s a drag queen!
 What is this?
 Oh, no!
 There’s hundreds of them!
 Bee 🍯.
 Our 🍯 is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
 This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
 Oh, Barry, stop.
 Who told you humans are taking
our 🍯? That’s a rumor.
 Do these look like rumors?
 That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
 How did you get mixed up in this?
 He’s been talking to humans.
 - What?
- Talking to humans?!
 He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
 Make out? Barry!
 We do not.
 - You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
 The bees!
 I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
 Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
 I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
 Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
 your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
 I remember that.
 What right do they have to our 🍯?
 We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
 Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
 Sting them where it really hurts.
 In the face! The eye!
 - That would hurt.
- No.
 Up the nose? That’s a killer.
 There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
 Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
 No more bee beards!
 With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
 Weather with Storm Stinger.
 Sports with Buzz Larvi.
 And Jeanette Ohung.
 - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
- And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
 A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
 intends to sue the human race
for stealing our 🍯,
 packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
 Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
 we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
 Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
 Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
 Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
 Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
 What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
 Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
 We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
 How old are you?
 The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
 which will be the trial
of the bee century.
 You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
 It’s a common name. Next week…
 He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
 Next week…
 Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
 Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
 Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
 In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
 It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
 🍯, herbackhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
 Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
 - Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
 I’m helping him sue the human race.
 - Hello.
- Hello, bee.
 This is Ken.
 Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
 Why does he talk again?
 Listen, you better go
'cause we’re really busy working.
 But it’s our yogurt night!
 Bye-bye.
 Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
 You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
 Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
 - Frosting…
- How many sugars?
 Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
 So why are you helping me?
 Bees have good qualities.
 And it takes my mind off the shop.
 Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
 Those are great, if you’re three.
 And artificial flowers.
 - Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
 Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
 Bees must hate those fake things!
 Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
 Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
 - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
 You sure you want to go through with it?
 Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
 to say, “🍯, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
 It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
 where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
 we will hear for ourselves
if a 🍯bee can actually speak.
 What have we gotten into here, Barry?
 It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
 I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
 You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
 Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
 - What’s the matter?
- I don’t know, I just got a chill.
 Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
 You boys work on this?
 All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
 All right. Oase number 4475,
 Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the 🍯 Industry
 is now in session.
 Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
 A privilege.
 Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
 I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
 Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
 my grandmother was a simple woman.
 Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
 to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
 If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
 just think of what would it mean.
 I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
 for the elastic in my britches!
 Talking bee!
 How do we know this isn’t some sort of
 holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
 They could be using laser beams!
 Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
 he could be on steroids!
 Mr. Benson?
 Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
 I’m just an ordinary bee.
🍯’s prettyimportant to me.
 It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
 We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
 Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
 who think they can take it from us
 'cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
 you’ll see how, by taking our 🍯,
you not only take everything we have
 but everything we are!
 I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
 Oall your first witness.
 So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of 🍯 Farms, big company you have.
 I suppose so.
 I see you also own
🍯burton andHonron!
 Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
 Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
 I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
 - No.
- I couldn’t hear you.
 - No.
- No.
 Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
 it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of 🍯.
 They’re very lovable creatures.
 Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
 You mean like this?
 Bears kill bees!
 How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
 Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
 OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
 So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
 - Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
 But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
 No, I haven’t.
 No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
 of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
 for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
 Oh, please.
 Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
 Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
 Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
 That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
 Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
 your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
 Thank you. Thank you.
 I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
 with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
 I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
 Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
 Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
 have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
 Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
 This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
 Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
 - Order in this court!
- You’re all thinking it!
 Order! Order, I say!
 - Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
 I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
 I think the jury’s on our side.
 Are we doing everything right, legally?
 I’m a florist.
 Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
 To a great team!
 Well, hello.
 - Ken!
- Hello.
 I didn’t think you were coming.
 No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
 I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
 Oh, that was lucky.
 There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
 Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
 So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
 I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
 That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
 Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
 and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
 You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
 I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
 Do we?
 Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
 That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
 Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
 I’m going to drain the old stinger.
 Yeah, you do that.
 Look at that.
 You know, I’ve just about had it
 with your little mind games.
 - What’s that?
- Italian Vogue.
 Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
 A lot of ads.
 Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
 Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
 I think something stinks in here!
 I love the smell of flowers.
 How do you like the smell of flames?!
 Not as much.
 Water bug! Not taking sides!
 Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
 I’ve got issues!
 Well, well, well, a royal flush!
 - You’re bluffing.
- Am I?
 Surf’s up, dude!
 Poo water!
 That bowl is gnarly.
 Except for those dirty yellow rings!
 Kenneth! What are you doing?!
 You know, I don’t even like 🍯!
I don’t eat it!
 We need to talk!
 He’s just a little bee!
 And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
 Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
 No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
 Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
 My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
 Goodbye, Ken.
 And for your information,
 I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
 I’m sorry about all that.
 I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
 I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
 I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
 Are you OK for the trial?
 I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
 We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
 Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
 Yeah.
 Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
 with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
 Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
 is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
 - You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
 Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
 Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
 What exactly is your relationship
 to that woman?
 We’re friends.
 - Good friends?
- Yes.
 How good? Do you live together?
 Wait a minute…
 Are you her little…
 …bedbug?
 I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
 doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
 - Yeah, but…
- So those aren’t your real parents!
 - Oh, Barry…
- Yes, they are!
 Hold me back!
 You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
 He’s denouncing bees!
 Don’t y'all date your cousins?
 - Objection!
- I’m going to pincushion this guy!
 Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
 Oh, I’m hit!!
 Oh, lordy, I am hit!
 Order! Order!
 The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
 I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
 You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
 Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
 - Adam, stay with me.
- I can’t feel my legs.
 What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
 from my heaving buttocks?
 I will have order in this court. Order!
 Order, please!
 The case of the 🍯bees
versus the human race
 took a pointed turn against the bees
 yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
 - Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
 - Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
 I…
 I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
 It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
 I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
 They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
 Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
 What was it like to sting someone?
 I can’t explain it. It was all…
 All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
 All right.
 You think it was all a trap?
 Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
 What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
 What will the humans do to us
if they win?
 I don’t know.
 I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
 Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
 Oh, my.
 Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
 - Why?
- The smoke.
 Bees don’t smoke.
 Right. Bees don’t smoke.
 Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
 That’s it! That’s our case!
 It is? It’s not over?
 Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
 Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
 And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re readyfor the tub.
 Mr. Flayman.
 Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
 Where is the rest of your team?
 Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
 Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
 and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
 I actually heard a funny story about…
 Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
 taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
 How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
 They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
 against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
 I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
 Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
 to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
 But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
 Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
 Show me the smoking gun!
 Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
 Here is your smoking gun.
 What is that?
 It’s a bee smoker!
 What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
 This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
 Look at what has happened
 to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
 Is this what nature intended for us?
 To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
 and man-made wooden slat work camps?
 Living out our lives as 🍯 slaves
to the white man?
 - What are we gonna do?
- He’s playing the species card.
 Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
 Free the bees! Free the bees!
 Free the bees!
 Free the bees! Free the bees!
 The court finds in favor of the bees!
 Vanessa, we won!
 I knew you could do it! High-five!
 Sorry.
 I’m OK! You know what this means?
 All the 🍯
will finally belong to the bees.
 Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
 This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
 You’ll regret this.
 Barry, how much 🍯 is out there?
 All right. One at a time.
 Barry, who are you wearing?
 My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
 - What if Montgomery’s right?
- What do you mean?
 We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
 Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
 First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
 Then we want back the 🍯
that was ours to begin with,
 every last drop.
 We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
 than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
 We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
 Wait for my signal.
 Take him out.
 He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
 And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
 But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
 …unnecessary inclusion of 🍯
in bogus health products
 and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
 Oan’t breathe.
 Bring it in, boys!
 Hold it right there! Good.
 Tap it.
 Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
 - I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
 Shut down 🍯 production!
 Stop making 🍯!
 Turn your key, sir!
 What do we do now?
 Oannonball!
 We’re shutting 🍯 production!
 Mission abort.
 Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
 Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much 🍯 was out there.
 Oh, yeah?
 What’s going on? Where is everybody?
 - Are they out celebrating?
- They’re home.
 They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
 I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
 At least we got our 🍯 back.
 Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our 🍯? Who wouldn’t?
 It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
 This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
 And now…
 Now I can’t.
 I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
 I thought their lives would be better!
 They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
🍯 reallychanges people.
 You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
 - What did you want to show me?
- This.
 What happened here?
 That is not the half of it.
 Oh, no. Oh, my.
 They’re all wilting.
 Doesn’t look very good, does it?
 No.
 And whose fault do you think that is?
 You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
 Bees?
 Specifically, me.
 I didn’t think bees not needing to make
🍯 wouldaffect all these things.
 It’s notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
 That’s our whole SAT test right there.
 Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
 And then, of course…
 The human species?
 So if there’s no more pollination,
 it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
 I know this is also partly my fault.
 How about a suicide pact?
 How do we do it?
 - I’ll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
 Right, right.
 Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
 I had to open my mouth and talk.
 Vanessa?
 Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
 To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
 They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
 It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
 Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
 I know. Me neither.
 Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
 Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
 Roses!
 Vanessa!
 Roses?!
 Barry?
 - Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
 Flowers, bees, pollen!
 I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
 Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
 Oould you slow down?
 Barry!
 OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
 Yes, it kind of is.
 I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
 with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
 Actually, it’s completely closed down.
 I thought maybe you were remodeling.
 But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
 I don’t want to hear it!
 All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
 I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
 All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
 - Bees.
- Park.
 - Pollen!
- Flowers.
 - Repollination!
- Across the nation!
 Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
 They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
 Security will be tight.
 I have an idea.
 Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
 Official floral business. It’s real.
 Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
 Thank you. It was a gift.
 Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
 How about The Princess and the Pea?
 I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
 Yes, I got it.
 - Where should I sit?
- What are you?
 - I believe I’m the pea.
- The pea?
 It goes under the mattresses.
 - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I’m getting the marshal.
 You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
 Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
 Hey, what are you doing?!
 Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
 …without arousing suspicion.
 Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
 Stop! Security.
 - You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
 Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
 Would you remove your shoes?
 - Remove your stinger.
- It’s part of me.
 I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
 Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
 Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
 I think this is gonna work.
 It’s got to work.
 Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
 We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
 It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
 Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
 I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
 Be careful.
 Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
 I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
 Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
 - What’d you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
 Bee!
 Don’t freak out! My entire species…
 What are you doing?
 - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
- Who’s an attorney?
 Don’t move.
 Oh, Barry.
 Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
 Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
 And please hurry!
 What happened here?
 There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
 One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
 - Is that another bee joke?
- No!
 No one’s flying the plane!
 This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
 This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
 Where’s the pilot?
 He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
 Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
 As a matter of fact, there is.
 - Who’s that?
- Barry Benson.
 From the 🍯 trial?! Oh, great.
 Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
 It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
 I can’t fly a plane.
 - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
 How hard could it be?
 Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
 This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
 where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
 Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
 That’s Barry!
 …is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
 and an incapacitated flight crew.
 Flowers?!
 We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
 with absolutely no flight experience.
 Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
 I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
 They’ve done enough damage.
 But isn’t he your only hope?
 Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
 Their wings are too small…
 Haven’t we heard this a million times?
 “The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
 - Get this on the air!
- Got it.
 - Stand by.
- We’re going live.
 The way we work may be a mystery to you.
 Making 🍯 takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
 But let me tell you about a small job.
 If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
 More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
 That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
 That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
 We get behind a fellow.
 - Black and yellow!
- Hello!
 Left, right, down, hover.
 - Hover?
- Forget hover.
 This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
 Barry, what happened?!
 Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
 - That may have been helping me.
- And now we’re not!
 So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
 All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
 Move out!
 Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
 Don’t have to yell.
 I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
 It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
 It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
 I can’t do this!
 Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
 You snap out of it.
 You snap out of it.
 - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 - Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
 How is the plane flying?
 I don’t know.
 Hello?
 Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
 The Pollen Jocks!
 They do get behind a fellow.
 - Black and yellow.
- Hello.
 All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
 Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
 No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
 Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
 - Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
 Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
 - What?
- I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
 Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
 Bring the nose down.
 Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 - What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!
 Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 - Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.
 Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
 Affirmative!
 Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
 Land on that flower!
 Ready? Full reverse!
 Spin it around!
 - Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?
 - That flower.
- I’m aiming at the flower!
 That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
 made of millions of bees!
 Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
 Rotate around it.
 - This is insane, Barry!
- This’s the only way I know how to fly.
 Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
 Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
 Just drop it. Be a part of it.
 Aim for the center!
 Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
 Oome on, already.
 Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
 - Yes. No high-five!
- Right.
 Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
 What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
 - Thank you.
- But we’re not done yet.
 Listen, everyone!
 This runway is covered
with the last pollen
 from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
 That means this is our last chance.
 We’re the only ones who make 🍯,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
 If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
 Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
 We’re bees!
 Keychain!
 Then follow me! Except Keychain.
 Hold on, Barry. Here.
 You’ve earned this.
 Yeah!
 I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
 Oh, yeah.
 That’s our Barry.
 Mom! The bees are back!
 If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
 I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
 Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
 Would you like some 🍯 with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
 Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
 Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
 I had no idea.
 Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
 Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
 Sorry I’m late.
 He’s a lawyer too?
 I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
 Have a great afternoon!
 Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
 No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
 You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
 All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
 Thank you, Barry!
 That bee is living my life!
 Let it go, Kenny.
 - When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
 - Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
 Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
 You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
 - Thinking bee!
- Me?
 Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
 I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
 I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
 All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
 I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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topicprinter · 5 years
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I saw there was a post on this recently, and after reading the comments saw there was some good advice, and some bad. In today’s world online and social media marketing are becoming not only important, but actual tools to increase revenue and profit. There’s a bunch of ways to grow an IG account, and a bunch of ways to tank one. This will be a long post, so I’ll try and break into bits. Apologies for mobileSorry guys, I know I'm super late on this, I've just been really busy the past couple months. Here you go, and please don't hesitate to reach out for specific help or advice. Also I'm sure I missed some points, so feel free to add your experience. Just be very careful about using suggestions. Saw some advice in the comments on my last post that was good, and some that was bad. Do your research, and be careful. Have at it​UNDERSTANDING THE AUDIENCE​It really doesn't matter all that much what you're using your IG account for, whether it's to sell a product, to increase brand awareness, to create connections, or just to generate hype, if you don't understand your audience. Know the consumers you're trying to target and what kind of things they like and follow. Do your research, google searches, ask random people on the street, ask friends and family what they think and how would they feel. As with all things marketing, the most important step is to put yourself into their shoes and think strategically the best way to engage with themTHE IMPORTANT THING IS TO COME AT IT WITH A STRATEGY. Each post is an opportunity to gain followers. Your waves of followers will come from quality posts, so make sure you attack each post with a strategy and a hungry mentality. If you're on this sub, y'all are fucking sharks. Be a shark.​THE ALGORITHM​In all honesty, we don’t really know what the algorithm is, but understanding how it works is far more important. Basically, like Facebook, Instagram has a formula that ranks its content (posts) in the feed and in the explore page (more on the explore page later). It has variables such as time of post, total likes and comments, hashtags, location, details on the account that posted, and even includes software to recognize what is in each post, and boost or demote it that way. Therefore, if you tend to only like pictures that have luxury cars in them, IG will boost those pictures in your feed. If you only pics of food or dogs, IG will boost pics of food or dogs in your feed and explore page. Each account has a slightly different algorithm in this regard.This is why it’s important first of all to understand your target audience, and get in their shoes, not yours. So if your product is a technology that primarily benefits middle aged woman, but you only post pictures of the technology, you won’t do as well as if you posted pictures that were applicable and likeable by middle aged woman. Like and comments are your direct assessment of your post. If your audience like it, they’ll engage with you. If not, they won’t.Also the algorithm changes every few months, so what worked last year or even last quarter, probably won't work the exact same way now.​POST FREQUENCY​Some of the comments on the previous post touched on this, but gave some poor advice. Do NOT listen to anyone who tells you you have to post as frequently as you can or post twice a day no exceptions. This is shit advice. Anyone who makes a sweeping rule is clearly not a real entrepreneur, or at least not a very good one. Theres more than way to skin a cat.In general, posting twice a day is a safe option. Once a day, isn't bad either, 3x a day can work. I've had success with even posting 3x a week. I would say somewhere between 3-20x a week. But make sure you aren't oversaturating your feed. You can easily bother your followers by making too many low quality posts. Quality over quantity every time. I know this probably sounds vague, but the important thing to remember is each account is different and unique. Please feel free to ask questions specific to you in the comments and I bet as a community we can really give some good advice.​TIME OF POST​Pretty simple here. 12-9pm EST tends to be best. 12, 3, and 9 specifically. This is when most people tend to be on IG. Sorry if you're international, but I would suggest a quick google search looking for best times to post on IG. Generally speaking, Sunday tends to be the least engaging day of the week, but I've still found plenty of success these days.​CONTENT​Quality content is so important to have. There are three types of posts you can make on Instagram. Just a regular picture, a video, or a gallery post, meaning multiple selections where the user has to swipe in order to see the full post. Generally speaking, videos that are 10-30 second long will perform best, but this is absolutely not a rule of thumb. All posts that have a clear resolution, aren't cropped weird, and are professional are capable of performing well. People are forgoing their websites to only use an Instagram page for their business. Therefore, you have to use professional and quality content on your page. I've only had one post that was blurry that performed well, and it was in the middle of a good week (all other posts were getting thousands, and some tens of thousands of likes and engagements). IG boosts accounts that show consistent positive results.I know that it can be hard to find quality content to post, so if you have questions in this regard specific to your account or business, let me know in the comments.Otherwise, there are a couple apps that let you pull down other profile's posts off the app. I like Grab the best, but it is a bit clunky to use. Buffer lets you do reposts, but I've had a lot of bad experience with Buffer, but one of my mentors has really loved it, so you can try it out and decide for yourself.Always tag people in your posts as well. Instagram lets you tag up to 20 accounts in one post, and you can now tag in videos too! this is awesome. So find influencers in your niche and tag them. Find big accounts related to your niche, and tag them. Find pages your audience follows, and tag them.We also need to discuss the concept of a powerlike. A powerlike is when someone with a big following likes your picture and engages with you. Your post is then much more likely to be displayed in their followers feeds and explore pages. Certain accounts likes have more value than others, so use this to your advantage.​EXPLORE PAGE​Your ultimate goal through organic growth is to consistently get on the explore page and get promoted this way. The explore page is the page you access through the little magnifying glass at the bottom of the mobile app, or the compass when using desktop (don't use desktop, IG's desktop sucks). It shows suggestions to you based on your previous likes and comments and who you follow. This is a great way to utilize OUTSIDE ENGAGEMENT, which I'll get to later.​HASHTAGS​Probably the best improvement you can make on your content is the correct use of hashtags. Each post can have up to 30, so use 30. I also suggest “hiding” them in the comments section by posting them as a comment, but there’s no evidence to support that this truly makes a difference. Use hashtags relevant to your niche. If you’re niche is in to cars, but your using hashtags like #hairstylistlove or #cutedogsoninstagram, IG will actually tank you for incorrectly “gaming” the algorithm.There’s a couple of strategies you can use. 10/10/10 is a good start. Basically, there are big hashtags (over 500,000 posts), medium hashtags (50k-500k posts), and small hashtags (under 50k). You’ll see these ranges vary depending on who you ask, but for 10/10/10, I like these ranges. 10/10/10 basically means to use 10 big hashtags, 10 small, and 10 medium sized ones to properly market your post. Pretty simple. There’s also 25/5, and all smalls. In this case I’d use 25 hashtags under 100,000 and 5 over, or all hashtags under 100,000.The important thing with hashtags is to keep experimenting and find what works. Not all posts are going to do well in a good set of hashtags, and not all good posts require a good set of hashtags to do well. Ik that sounds confusing and tricky, but if you take the time, and put effort into making quality content, Instagram will reward you. They want people to USE the app, to SPEND TIME using their product. The more you use it the more you’ll gain.Geotagging is using a hashtag specifically related to your area. So for example #beverlyhills90210 or #minneapolisweather. These can be great if you're specifically trying to grow your brand in an area.Tagstealing is a term I use, but basically, it means going into the explore page and searching a hashtag relevant to your niche. Find a post that performs well compared to that profile's usual posts. So if someone posts a picture and it gets 500 likes when all their other posts get 50, use the hashtags that they did. They already gamed the algorithm and did the hard part for you.​SHADOWBANNING​This is a widely misunderstood concept and its important that we cover it in its own section. Shadowbanning is where Instagram bans certain hashtags from showing your posts in the explore page. usually these hashtags are porn related or can be porn related. So for example, #petite is banned and won't show results when searched. You can just Google banned hashtags checker and find free online tools that determine whether or not something is banned.​Shadowbanning is NOT however, Instagram demoting your posts for whatever reason. it is strictly related to hashtags​CAPTIONS​Captions are the voice of your posts. It gives you an opportunity to share your opinion, connect with your audience, drive engagement, or really determine the direction of your post. I almost always recommend having a call to action ("let me know what you think in the comments below") to help drive engagement on your posts. Encourage people to want to interact with you, but don't be desperate. That shit turns people off. Some people have long winded, winding stories as captions, while others have maybe a sentence at most. It really depends on you and who you are. Be genuine and real with your audience, and they'll respond to that. Never try to do something just for the likes, always attack IG with the mindset of being yourself and putting your best content and effort into the page.You can use hashtags here, or you can post them in the comments section. I like utilizing the comments method because it "tricks" the algorithm by showing your post as having an extra comment right away.​LOCATION​This is a tricky one but can greatly be used to your benefit. This mainly affects the explore page. Basically, you want to use a location that garners a lot of activity, and more importantly, people on their phones. Stadiums, famous malls, public monuments, or popular Instagram spots are good locations to use. I’ve had mixed results when using restaurants. If you’re trying to grow in a specific city this is wonderful. But make sure you get a little more specific, if you’re just going to do a certain city. Use a neighborhood instead, i.e. Brooklyn not New York, Beverly Hill not Los Angeles.​OTHER TOOLS BESIDES POSTS​This is going to be things like Stories, Live, IGTV. Instagram wants you to use the app, so that they can make more money off of ads. Therefore, they're going to boost you for using the other aspects of the app. Post stories once a day or 5x a week, as a general rule of thumb. An easy strategy with stories is to just do reposts on similar accounts and encourage them to engage with you. Minimal effort for decent reward. also turning the camera around and showing you, talking into the camera, showing your workspace, or you in the field is great as well. More effort, but also probably more reward. Live feed maybe once or twice a week, or more, if you have the content/activity. Things like talks, lectures, videos, lessons etc. Sometimes you can do giveaways exclusive for your live viewers. This encourages viewers to come back consistently and engage in your live stream. IGTV is the newest tool here, but I've best seen it used and used it in the form of interviews, similar to a podcast, or in lectures or announcements. Amanda Bucci has a really great use of stories, live, and IGTV, so check her out for inspiration. These are now so much more important for gaining followers. Make sure you're using hashtags and tagging people in your stories etc as well.​OUTSIDE ENGAGEMENT​This is where you'll really separate your account and make huge strides in growth. I grew an account from 3k followers to 10k in 3 months throug this. You should be spending 30 mins to an hour a day, going out and liking and commenting on other people's posts, to help drive engagement to your page. If you haven't noticed by now, the key word in IG is engagement, and you have to give if you wanna get. You can open a post in the explore page, like it, leave a comment that opens/starts a conversation, and move on in literally less than 10 seconds. Great, swipe right, and do it again. and again. and again and again and again for 10 minutes before and 10 minutes after each post. I've seen this strategy work, but also doing this multiple times throughout the day. Experiment and find what works for you. Each account is different and unique. Each method is going to be different and unique. More than one way to skin a cat.Also make sure that youre replying to all your comments on your posts. This will not only increase loyalty and motivation among your followers, but also trick the algorithm. if you get three comments on a post, and reply to all of them, you now have 6 instead of 3. Always be engaging and active with your followers, and try to reach out to other accounts in your niche and bring them in.I saw a question about bots and stuff, there are plenty of bots on instagram. If they leave a comment, then leave a generous reply, and ignore, unless they respond and seem to be more than just automated. Bots are another follow, but having a group of loyal active followers will grow your account much faster than a bunch of bots who don't engage.​DONTs​Don't buy followers. Most of them tend to be bots, or the wrong type of followers, and won't engage with you at all. Instagram tries to ban these accounts, which could negatively affect yours. Organic growth is infinitely more valuable than buying followers.Don't forget about it or give up. Stay consistent. IG rewards consistency. If you keep at it, you'll eventually break through. Ik trust me, it is very tough and difficult, but can be very rewarding as well.Don't post just to post. Make sure each post has care and effort. Think of it like a new baby each time. You are shaping and raising your baby to give it the best possible opportunity to succeed. If you have a kid just to have a kid and don't put care into, it's going to turn out like shit. Be diligent​DOS​Consider paying to boost your posts. Get a couple of posts to perform really well, and consider spending 10 or 15 bucks on each post. This can easily bring you a thousand or more followers, depending on your account and history.Do consider reaching out to influencers, asking for help, or a shoutout. This is a livelihood for a lot of people, and they will want to gain off your following as well. Most of the time, it's win win.Engage engage engage. If you come away with one thing from this, it's that engagement is key in Instagram, and you need to find ways to drive engagement on your page. Experiment, try new things, have multiple accounts and cross promote.​That sums up the generals guys, but I know that I missed plenty. Please please don't hesitate to bring up any issue or question you have, through either comments or PM. Im super busy right now, but will try to get to all of them. I've worked with single person accounts in past and helped people grow over 100k followers. Currently, I'm working as CMO at a startup, and have experience in all things marketing and sales. I'm looking to get into coaching/consulting, and would love to use you as a guinea pig.​Take care, and best wishes
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suv insurance
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suv insurance
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Insurance on a Blackjack?
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suv insurance
suv insurance
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I have been asked to drive the home delivery van's for a supermarket, I haven't agreed yet as I want to know in the unlikely event of a bump would this affect my personal car ...show more""
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2006 cadillac cts insurance rate for teens?
i want my dad to give me his car but i wanted to know how much the insurance would be its the base 2006 2.8L cts and its salvaged , so yeah state farm rates would be a +, State of California""
Do I have to have car insurance in wis?
I have a car that is old, ( a VW Fox to be exact) and i was wondering if i need to have car insurance for it? i use the car for nothing more than to drive to work and back, because of the amazing gas milage, but i was woundering if im going to get into trouble if im ever pulled over and dont have insurance. I live in WIS so keep that in mind. Any help would be welcome. thx ahead of time.""
My daughter is 17 next week....where can I get cheap car insurance from? I want to add her on to my policy?
She will be an additional driver. My existing insurer has refused because of her age and inexperience.
suv insurance
suv insurance
How much would car insurance cost for me?
i'm 16 and i live in the southern california area, around north hollywood. i would be driving a honda accord, thats leased so far but we're (family) is planning on buying it soon. i also have pretty good grades. how much do u think it would cost? and which auto insurance is best and the cheapest?""
Cheap sr22 insurance?
I'm looking for a cheap sr22 insurance. Anyone can help me? Thanks
Whose insurance will be raised?
A couple weeks ago I let my grand daughter borrow my car to run up to the store for me. While she was gone, she was in a car accident in the parking lot of HyVee. She gave my insurance because she was in my car. Will my insurance be raised, or will her's? We have different insurance companies.""
""Car Insurance, young male?""
I'm 18, i applied for a 6000+ loan and was approved, I didn't even need a cosigner because my income is very good. Its too bad the insurance company's just DESTROY ME when I find a car I like. I dont wanna drive a damn beater, I dont care how much it will save me. I am currently insured under state farm, they told me insurance for a mitsubishi diamante vr-x would be about 2800 a year.... My family has been with state farm since my grandpa, we have insured over 30 cars in our familys, and this is just the terrible quote they give me!? Its despicable, I refuse to insure with them. What are some good insurance companys that will cost less? I already checked e-surance and the price was better by far.""
Where can a Construction company get a cheap insurance and bond?
Hello, I just started a small family construction company ( tile ) and would like to know where you can get a cheap bond from. Our company is in Seattle Washington. Can someone please help me with this. It would be great if it can be as cheap as it gets. we are on a budget. Thanks in advance""
About life insurance?
i am 35 year old and i have one daughter of 1 year.i want to take policy for myself and for my wife also.we both are in govt jobs.plz suggest me best policies
Insurance rates for 2003 F150?
Ok, so I'll start off by saying I'm 15, and when I do turn 16, I want to get an F150. My question is, what can I expect to be the insurance rates on a car like that? I've read from multiple websites that despite being a truck, it has decent rates because it's extremely safe and is reliable. Can anyone give some information or direct me to a website that would help me out?""
Fast cars with low insurance costs?
id like 0-60 inunder 6 seconds but low(ish) insurance rates for someone under 21. New, used, whatever.""
What is the cheapest car insurance for a 20 yr old new driver? In Texas?
I am getting a car and my license soon and I need to figure out what would be the absolute most affordable insurance I can get is. I live in TX
How much does it cost to insure a 1999 Audi?
I am a 16 girl and just bought a 1999 Audi in Vermont. How much will it cost to insure the car?
Why is insurance expense debited?
Why is insurance expensive debited? First it says Markell Company purchased one year automobile insurance policy on September 1, 20-2 at a cost of 1800. At the time of the purchase, the accounting clerk would make the following journal entry. Sep 1: Prepaid insurance 1800 DR, Bank 1800 CR Then it says since the insurance was purchased on September 1, four months of coverage have been used and eight months of coverage. Dec 31 Insurance Expense 600 DR, Prepaid Insurance 600 CR I can understand why prepaid insurance is credit because it is deducted each time as the months ago until is it fully done.""
Need advice on qualifying for subsidized health insurance?
I'm an older full-time college student and my husband works full-time at Walmart. In the past three years, I've been through 4 cancer related surgeries, which were paid for by the breast/cervical cancer Medicaid program. Unfortunately, follow up care and monitoring aren't covered and I was dropped from Medicaid. I'm now on my husband's health insurance, which is basically worthless because our income is under $20,000/yr and the policy has a $4500 deductible plus 20% after. I haven't seen my oncologist for over a year because we can't afford the expensive scans, biopsies, and lab work associated with cancer follow-up with a deductible that high. I thought my situation would change in 2014 with Obamacare. I recently learned from the healthcare.gov website calculator that our income is low enough to qualify for expanded Medicaid (which our state decided not to expand), but I don't qualify for the health insurance subsidies I desperately need because the outrageous deductible health insurance from my husband's job covers spouses. How can a couple with an income so low they would qualify for expanded Medicaid be ineligible for subsidies? I am completely devastated over this and I don't know what to do. Not being able to afford cancer follow up care is putting my life in danger. Even if my husband's employer (Walmart) quit covering the spouses of full-time employees, I think that would only apply to new hires because of the grandfather clause. If getting subsidies was based on income alone the way it should be instead of access to employer provided coverage, I would qualify for a zero deductible policy and $3 co-pays with a monthly premium of around $60. I could then afford the expensive health care I need. We live in a college town so if my husband got a different job, he'd make even less than he does now and we would probably end up homeless. If my husband transfers and we move to a state that's expanding Medicaid, I'll have to quit school and get rid of my German Shepherd and Siberian Husky since it's almost impossible to find a landlord that allows them. We thought another option might be to get a divorce on paper and co-habitate until our situation changes (completing my degree and getting a good job so I can afford the deductible), then re-marry. When I asked about that, someone actually accused me of wanting to commit fraud! How can anyone think of something like fraud when a situation is endangering someone's life? I am desperate to somehow qualify for health insurance subsidies without lying, which could get us in trouble. Any ideas?""
How much does insurance cost for a new young driver with a brand new car in newyork city?
How much does insurance cost for a new young driver with a brand new car in newyork city?
Does car insurance claims effect youre house insurance rates?
i have had two auto claims that were my fault one was an electrical fire(total loss) when the car was parked and the other was a collision with a deer(total loss). now my question is when i go to get home insurance (just bought a house for the first time) will those two claims effect my rates on my home insurance or just auto insurance rates will be effected.
I need a life insurance policy that is affordable for my mom who has cancer?
I do not have alot of money and I am trying to find a life insurance policy that I can afford for my mom. Sha has cancer in her throat and I can not find an insurance company that will give her insurance under $100 a month. Ant ideas?
Motorbike and car insurance?
With fuel prices in the uk soaring and having to drive 120 miles a day I am seriously considering buying a motorbike to save both time and money. Thing is I'm gonna still need a car for the winter months when we have to deal with increasingly heavy winters... So my question is do i have to pay 12 months insurance for both a car and a bike or is there any way of having a policy that I can put on hold for the months that either vehicle isn't being used?
New Driving Licence - Insurance?
Okay Heres the plan! Im 18! Ive passed my driving test today, and looking for car insurance the cheapest way ive found is using my mothers policy with 19 years experiance with no claims ever, however shes never had her own policy.. were going to share the same car 1.6 escort 16v quite a hefty engine for my age yeah but still cheapest i can get it, is 1900 Any tips to make it cheaper, or what ever Ive tried all the top brands, equity, tesco, aa, ,quinn direct, churchill, direct line etc so far quinn is the cheapest.. but the first initial premium month is too much to pay (400) help!""
Has anybody had Northern Neck Home owners or car Insurance are they good ?
Im thinking about changing insurance and they gave me real good quotes but i have never heard of them
What IS affordable health care? How much does it cost?
All these questions are answered in insurance policies today, but with this bill, we are asked to support it without any of this information. How is that fair or just? Am I just to accept that the government will determine for me how much I am expected to pay and STILL support it?""
How do I find out my car insurance rates before I get a car?
I haven't bought a car yet because a lot depends on how much insurance will be. I'm a 27 single female living in Boston, I've had a license since 18 but never drove so it expired and I recently renewed it. I don't have anything on my record. I would be the only person on the insurance. I went online but they required the make and year of your car to calculate the rates.""
Car Insurance Firms NOT on Comparison Sites?
Can anyone give me a list of car insurance companies that ARE NOT on comparison web sites like Confused.com? My insurance is up soon and I want to make sure I get the best deal by checking with as many of the big companies as possible. I will be using Confused, but I also want to check with the ones that aren't on there. Thanks.""
Is it a good idea to get insurance on your DSLR camera?
if so, which one is the best insurance.""
Does my employer have a right to my car insurance information?
I don't even drive to work, my husband drives me to work and then drives himself to work. And I tell them that I don't use my car for work and that my husband drives me to work. So the way I see it, they don't need that information, and the car insurance is in my husband's name, not mine.""
Who has the cheapest car insurance?
who do you think? im looking for east coast providers
Does car insurance cover this..?
my freind borrowed my car and he and his father went to the mall,his father got into a car accident which was his fault.now the car is totaled.i only have basic insurance does that cover my car or am i out of a car?""
suv insurance
suv insurance
Car insurance help!!?
So about a month and a half ago, someone kicked my car at night and left a big dent. I was stupid and called insurance and they gave me two options: fix the car or take a cash settlement. However, no matter what I do, my monthly insurance rate is going to go up even though it was not my fault. I think this is ridiculous and not worth it and I just want to cancel the claim. But I have been told that once a claim is put in, there's nothing you can do and once you hit three claims, your overall premium goes way up. What do I do? Should I just stop contacting the insurance company and after a while they have to close the claim? I wanted to sell the car this week but I guess that adds too many complications...""
Cheap car insurance for teens?
I'm 17 and interested in either a Clio, Punto or Polo. I've looked everywhere!""
Is it against the law to drive without insurance?
Been driving for 30years clean here in Canada with know accidents, until I got into my first incident a few years ago, my insurance went up more then doubled!!, The insurance company RBC didn't want to forgive me on my first accident told me I had too wait 6 years, I I feel this is extortion, Im almost tempted to drive with out insurance is this recommended?""
Will my car insurance rate rise if someone on my policy gets in an accident?
If I add someone onto my car insurance policy and that person gets in an accident, will my rate climb. If it does can I remove that person from my policy to keep my rate the same.""
Insurance cost for 2.3l fox body mustang 16 year old?
I am 16 and considering purchasing a 2.3l four cylinder mustang. These were made from the mid 80's to early 90's. They have like no power but get good mpg. I am worried that insurance companies would see the word mustang and give me a high rate. BTW my sister is 17 and pays only 50 a month on a family plan for a 1995 suzuki sidekick.
Car Insurance?
I want to cancel my insurance or rather freeze it until the 3 November. Would i get into trouble though if i took it to the garage when i had cancelled my insurance or eve froze it..
Can i getmy licence removed and get my vehicle inspected and get my car insurance on the same day?
ok here is the dilemma im a marine stationed at camp lejuene and im going back to new york in a few days. i need to get my license and my registration, inspection and car insurance in a few days(like 3)will my license go right into the system so i can go call my insurance company (usaa) and get insurance on it the same day then go back to the DVM and get the car registration. thxs kinda freaking bout this""
How much do you pay for motorcycle insurance ?
how much do you pay for motorcycle insurance in canada ,for a 300 cc motor . like the kawasaki ninja 300 2013 .""
Do i need to insure my popup camper?
I just bought an 88 viking pop up camper here in Michigan, and was wondering, do i need to insure it? is it a law? or just a recommendation? im hearing many things when i ask that question and i really need a for sure thing here. i dont want to get pulled over and get ticketed for having no insurance on it. but i also dont want to pay 300 dollars a month for something i bought for $450. Thanks!""
Roughly how much will my insurance cost for a new mid-level sports car?
In California. Clean driving record. Car would be financed in the $30k - $40k range. I imagine I would want full coverage. Would it be substantially less if the car were a year or two old rather than new? Thanks! I have always had used cars in the past with just liability insurance.
How much would it cost for a 19 year old and 24 to get full coverage medical and dental insurance?
Hi I'm looking to get myself and husband full covered medical and dental insurance monthly priced? we live in florida. I want to do like a family plan maybe. If you could give me seperate prices on the dental and medical, it will be greatly appericated:)""
Will my company have to pay a fine for not offering me an affordable insurance plan?
The word going around is that the change in our insurance coverage is only going to drop by a small amount due to the act, and the price someone told me is much more than 9.5% of my income. If I apply through the marketplace for the reason that I cannot afford insurance with my company, will they be fined for not offering me an affordable plan, or do they just get fined for not offering benefits at all?""
What happens when you drive your friend's car withour insurance?
My nephew borrowed his friend's car that has no insurance. He was stopped by police for some reason and got summoned to court because the car was without auto insurance. What would happen to him? by the way he lives in L.A. Thank you!
Insurance?
I am carried under my mothers insurance because I am in college currently and unmarried. I am pregnant though, so when I deliver, will the baby be carried under my mothers insurance also? Capital Blue Cross.""
Why is auto insurance through Geico so cheap?
Why is auto insurance through Geico so cheap?
""If I got a car insurance while on a Provisional license, could I still use it when on a full license?""
I've got a provisional UK drivers license but I'm hoping to get my full UK drivers licence soon, but insurance is very expensive. I've seen insurance whilst on provisional is cheaper than on a full license, if I got that would I still be able to use it whilst holding a full UK drivers license? Also what are some other ways to save money on car insurance? Thank you!""
Car insurance companies with no deposit?
i need car insurance but cannot afford to pay an upfront deposit? can any one help?
Does a written warning affect your driver's insurance in Massachusetts?
I just got a written warning tonight in MA. I have a couple of questions, does it affect my insurance (I heard that it does not increase my insurance, but my insurance company is notified and my rates for next year will not decrease, is that true?). Also, how long does it stay on record? Much Thanks!""
What are we paying for when we buy car Insurance?
Does any one notice that we shell out thousands of dollars from our income for car insurance, and the insurance company gives us nothing back? Sure, if we get into a car accident, they cover the costs, but then they raise your rate. And you are paying far more than the cost of the accident anyway. And then if you don't get into an accident, what is all that money for? They don't give it back. I just think its odd that we are required by law to pay for nothing, after we already have paid for the car. And then if you don't, you are penalized and punished, so you are given no choice. But really, you're paying all this money and getting nothing back. WTF""
""I am getting my license back soon after a 3 year suspension,Does anyone know how I can get cheap insurance?""
I have 2 OUI's about 3 years ago,and I need to find a way to lower or get cheap insurance.Thanks""
Whats the Cost for motorcycle insurance if I'm 18?
I want to buy a bike when I'm 18 but if the insurance cost to much I probably won't. But I want to know about how much it will cost a month for a sportsbike if I'm 18. I want a ninja, nothing over 600cc. ???""
""My adult brother is living with my family, do I need to put him on my car insurance policy?""
My 29 year old brother has been living at my place for a few months. He's still covered by my parents car insurance in another state, but I wonder if I have to put him on my policy since he practically lives with me. He only drives one of my cars occasionally. His living with us should be temporary (hopefully no more than few more months)""
""No insurance, can i go to the doc?
I don't. have insurance except plan 1st (for birth control) i need to go to the doctor but would they even see me?
Will my car insurance go down if i go on my parents car insurance?
Im 16 at the moment and i am 17 in a few months and i will be learning to drive. I know car insurance is so high for a 17 year old, but i was wondering if i go on the parents car insurance for a while, will my car insurance go down when i get my own as i have had experience on the road""
""Your credit rating can affect how much you pay for renters insurance,if so explain thoroughly.?""
Your credit rating can affect how much you pay for renters insurance,if so explain thoroughly.?""
suv insurance
suv insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-just-turned-18-dont-want-take-drivers-ed-how-much-my-johnny-lawson/"
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jfnfopnip1z-blog · 7 years
Text
How To Make a Great Rap Song
It's probably fair to express that hip-hop continues to be probably the most globally influential type of music since some young wag stepped on Elvis's blue suede shoes. Black  Getting started being a voice for African-American and Latin communities in the us, hip-hop soon spread and have become the soundtrack for the 80's, 90's and also the new millennium. Each year its influence and penetration increase, from commercials to films, and from charts to bars. Within this section I'll explain the basic principles of hip-hop production along with 20 have to know ideas to get the best hip-hop tracks possible.
BEATS AND LOOPS
With hip-hop its everything about the beats - consider getting inspired!
Beats are the backbone of most hip-hop. Whether you're in to the cheeky one-two of Dre's Eminem productions or even the juddering steps of Dj Premier, you have to be sure that regardless of anything else is playing, your beat still stacks up to scrutiny. As US comic Chris Rock input it: "If the beat's alright, they'll dance through the night."
As we've already seen, hip-hop beats started off as breaks from records, beatboxes and sampling drum machines, so its super easy for hip-hop produced on a computer to sound a little lifeless. Live playing and clever quantisation can deal with this, though. The primary trick is always to maintain it sparse as soon as you have a basic groove going, try obtaining different percussive hits before adding more. Also, its important to keep it simple. If you pay attention to professional hip-hop productions, you'll notice that its rare for just two different percussive elements to experience at the same time - unless its a layered clap and snare, and even then they'll alternate on the bar or two between both playing then only one or another. You can also hear many parts were a musical instrument being a shaker only plays to get a small and specific part of a looped bar, almost as if the different percussive elements are taking turns. This can be no coincidence, as hip-hop culture is about this type of connection. Wether its DJs, MCs or breakdancers, hip-hop is, at its core, relating to this kind of back and forth interaction, and also this gets in each and every production element including beats.
Detail by detail the drums
1-The first thing I do when taking care of beats is lay down a hi-hat pattern. Usually , I actually do an eighth-note pattern then go back and change it if necessary after I've laid down another parts.
2-Next up will be the kick and snare . I keep them simple initially because I know that I'll be employing a drum loop underneath. I focus on a drum loop and add extra kicks and snares to bolster it. The kick and snare tend to be sounds that I re-use on many tracks.
3-Next I'll put in a sampled kick and snare to reinforce the stock kick and snare sounds. This makes the beat sound a little thicker and grimier. I additionally leave some 'air' on the tail end - this acts like 'sonic glue', giving the beat a more sampled feel.
4-The basic beat has become complete and able to send to the arrange screen, later on I'll utilize this pattern like a template for other areas of the song, were I'll add snare fills and rolls.
Step-by-step The loop
1-When using sampled breaks, I usually make sure they're either royalty-free, original roughly obscure they will not be recognized. Like that I do not need to bother about sample clearance. I'm a fan of busy drums so I'll usually choose an action packed two-bar drum break.
2-Now you have to match the tempo from the drum break to the tempo of your song. This can be achieved with any beat-slicing program.
3-Later on, after you've added vocals etc this can be drum break, were its needed during your song.
MELODIES, STABS, SAMPLES AND SYNTHS Just like almost every other kind of music, hip-hop's gotta have hooks
Melody or bass: it's tough to say which one you can start work on first, because hip-hop is at its best when its simple - great tracks frequently have a bassline but no melody or vice versa. And quite often the bassline will be the melody.
Most hip-hop continues to be constructed with samples as the main musical hooks, but while these samples were, for a long period, more often than not sections from classic records, today they may be much more obscure, edited and processed. Its no longer enough to sample an area off a 1980's rare groove hit and whack it more than a beat.
While hip-hop remains very much a sample-based discipline, there are numerous excellent synth-hop tracks on the market. If you've heard Kelis' milkshake, you'll know how funky a great synth line can sound with the right tight beats.
The critical thing to remember isn't to over-egg your production pudding. Invest the away one thing from all of these lessons, its that hip-hop is meant to the simple but effective, so always try getting sections or notes before you begin adding more. Please remember hip-hop is focused on bringing seemingly disparate elements toegether - Run DMC's sampling of Aerosmith on Walk This Way, for instance - so don't be afraid to experiment. Even harp solos and steal band recordings make excellent melodies within the right hands.
Finally take into account that in hip-hop you can never head to far wrong if the riff plays about the first beat of the bar, is quickly muted, after which picks up again from around the third beat. Seriously, this can be a winning formula - try it out!
BASS,BASS,BASS
Busy, bouncing or otherwise not at all... its your choice!
Some other electronic music are only for the ups and downs (well, in frequency terms, anyway), hip-hop definitely works from your waist down, and is also all about punchy mids and heavy bass. When you listen to a properly produced hip-hip tracks in the club, the bass will shake the room to its core, frequently even greater than much harder dance styles.
There are three main reasons why hip-hop will get away with having such heavy frequencies without one sounding just like a muddy mess. First, the tempo is very slow, giving much more room for individual notes to breath. Second, the make-up of hip-hop is a lot sparser, often with simply a straightforward beat and bassline throughout. And third, the bass patterns commonly are not as busy as other genres and so are often played so low the pitch of person notes are not an easy task to recognize.
Naturally, there are a number of b-line flavours in hip-hop, however these days basslines tend to be used just to reinforce the beats, layered underneath, or after every few bars, creating one more groove under those of the beats. The golden general guideline for hip-hop basslines would be to treat them as the second percussive element, rather than a melodic one. So that as with any drum pattern, everything you rule out is generally far more important than you leave in.
What type of BASS?
The issue of whether or not to keep the bassline simple or funky is a tricky one, and depends largely on which type of hip-hop you are making fast and funky Pharcyde-style tunes than you may get away with much more bouncy basslines. Similarly, if you are sampling a huge of the famous record, then you can bring your lead from that. But for other kinds of contemporary hip-hop, the bassline can be a less complicated affair. If theres some kind of sampled or played melody, then a bassline will most likely play in accompanying bursts. Another traditionally used trick is always to have simple sub-bass stabs every couple of bars, along with strong bassline in the chorus. Actually, sometimes there is not even any bassline inside a track in any way.
Finally, for those smokers out there, Cypress Hill along with other similar artists were pioneers of the deep, slow and simple rolling bassline. Black  Definely anyone to consider. Simply speaking, the key with hip-hop bass is almost always to keep it very sub-bass oriented and simple.
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