Pleased to announce that after YEARS of trying to find this one anime opening that I used to listen to and forgot the name of and spent many a night wondering if I'd ever see again, I FINALLY FOUND IT!! When I say I have been looking for ages, I'm talking since what has to be since 8 years ago now! I'm so happy I could cry!!

I've read one of your match-up asks for jujutsu kaisen and thought "ooh they're so on point! I should ask one as well!" So if you're willing and have the time setting me up with one of the bois ~ ^^

How should I start this.. (honestly first time asking anything lol),oh well:

Im 24 y/o gal, gemini sun (libra moon and rising if it means anything), and an INFJ. Apearance wise im an averege height and weight, green eyes~ hair changing all the time cause I love coloring it lol. I love animals, learn and experience new things, and the color pink :p

Used to be super shy and quiet and some people would say I still am, but I've become much more social thru the years. I'm very curious about people and.. anything really- I believe the more you study the world and talk to more people the closer you are to what we call "god" (So I'll be glad if we could become friends too lol). So its not a surprise that i dvelve pretty deep in conversations and subjects- if something peeks my interest I'm obsessed with it for a loooong time.

As a partner I usually pretty affectionate,light hearted (unless I'm in a bad mood), love to surprise and just vibe with whatever feels like it in the moment.

Umm.. wellp idk what else to add. Dont wanna write a whole autobiography here.

Cant wait to see who u picked to be my boo~♡ lol

And thank you in advence ofc 💕

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

You wrote that you used to be shy, but now you are more and more open. Well, with him you can say it's the other way around.

He's not shy. More mysterious and sometimes eerie. That would be a good term.

He likes to spend time with people, as long as they are people close to him. People around him must be someone he can trust.

He keeps quiet and ignores strangers. Among friends, he is almost the soul of the party. He talks, he laughs, he'd do the wildest shit there is. Even though he is a more reasonable person. If you look at it another way, he always takes responsibility. He does not blame anyone, but evaluates the situation rationally. If anything has a greater share of his fault, he will take it all upon himself.

Topics that attract and interest him will be explored by him. It doesn't matter what people think about it. The important thing was that it caught his attention and he couldn't look away.

Besides, every theory can be explained. Anything that doesn't make sense to someone else may actually make sense. That's why he always finds solutions. Even if it's to find out the truth or win something through manipulation. But he would never do that to his loved ones.

He cares about someone he cares about, he is kind and affectionate. He shows affection and closeness. He supports at all times and there is no moment when he will not be there. He is always with you, especially when you need him.

Headcanon:

• The first encounter is almost terrifying. He saw something intriguing about you. And if you were interested in him too? After all, anyone can meet anyone. What matters is that you both want it.

There are different types of people. You are someone who learns more after each conversation. Guessing the state of a person. Understanding other people's feelings. Perceptiveness to the intentions of others and to lies.

During your first meeting, there was not a very developed conversation. It was more quiet. Your friends may have told you to sit with him until you finally get along. Same with him. A moment longer made you find out that your behaviors are similar.

You learned more about the mysterious man who was just too observant. You found out that you caught his eye 😉

• Finding answers to all your questions. It's something that connects you. Even though he finds the answer often by accident.

The more you talked, the more you found answers and learned more and more about him. Making it always nice to surprise him and making him smile.

• The most carefree, calm and minutes when you are alone at home. Where you can be together and just cuddle. He would let you do anything. He pampers you. You get everything you want. And he does all this just so he can always see your smile on your face.

Godzilla Series Rewatch #19

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

I will finish a bigger project I start, even if it's just this dang it. First off, the copy I have of this movie is a cheap double sided deal with Godzilla vs. Mothra that doesn't seem to have a subtitled option.

This movie turned out to be another one where I really can't remember character names the day after except for the one gal, half the time they call her Amy but other times it sounds like her name might originally be Ami. I know I could look it up.

I definitely have some mixed feelings on this movie, on the one hand it's just so goofy looking and badly written there's a charm to it that the previous movies in this continuity didn't have, but it also feels the most nationalist of the Godzilla movies so far. I don't want to divert from talking about the movie though, so I don't plan to expand on that element.

The movie moves fairly fast for a time but it's coherent enough at first. There's a UFO! It's from the future, not space! We're going on a field trip to World War II!

Then time travel hits. Godzilla's been erased from history, but everyone remembers him. There are so many questions and no answers to be had, regardless of how hard fans try. King Ghidorah replaced Godzilla, that seems like it almost needs a movie of recap on its own. Did Ghidorah target boats at first too, were they different? Or did he start with planes, or settlements? Did Ghidorah destroy Tokyo like Godzilla did or did he have a different target? Did Ghidorah even attack in 1954 or did he spend the time chilling on the island until the future people activated him? Is there a Ghidorah Returns in this alternate timeline, a Ghidorah-ized version of Biollante? How did Super X and X-2 fare? Presumably no better, but the battles must look very different. It sure doesn't seem to be anyone's first time hearing about giant monsters, but again it doesn't seem to matter if they were on the time traveling ship or not, no one's curious about what should be a new monster coming out of the sea to fight Ghidorah. That's just Godzilla, he was there through the other timeline, of course we remember him. In the original Hesei timeline when no one went messing with history does Godzilla still go on to fight Mothra, Battra, MechaGodzilla, SpaceGodzilla, and Destroyah or are there different monsters?

The questions don't stop and to have any piece of mind I just have to accept this movie is crazed and it can't make sense. Which is kind of freeing in its way but I don't want it for every movie, not even every Godzilla movie.

I prefer space demon Ghidorah, but Heisei Ghidorah makes some sense to me. Think of the attitude problem so many of our over-bred pets have. Every Chihuahua I've met seems to know its existence is wrong and humans are to blame, so how hard is life on completely bio-designed pet Dorats? Made to be extremely helpless with their weird little wings and tiny feet, they were probably very happy to become something that could maim and kill with impunity.

Japan has a nuclear submarine it's hidden from everyone and just has parked out by some friendly neighborhood country that doesn't rat them out, is if you think about, a very wild and out there idea. It's just utterly lost in the pile of crazier things about this movie. Why not just a new Super X or something? The gal, Amy or Ami or Ame or whatever – is fine with going along with the plan to create King Ghidorah and wreck the first city, but she's appalled and switches side when she finds out the others weren't going to stop at one? Not really a winning sympathetic character there and yet by the end she's the hero of the movie, piloting Mecha King Ghidorah to stop Godzilla. With very little concern for collateral damage. “I could accidentally kill an ancestor of a friend of mine if this fight goes on too long.  BEAM SPAM!”

It feels like I could be here all day finding weird and awkward things to bring up, but I think I'll focus on the positive. I really like the ambling fat Godzillasaurus and his useless immobile arms tottering his way through the landing force. It's even a bit touching how the soldiers want to honor the dinosaur since they can't do more for it. It's a fun movie in its way if you don't waste your energy looking for a good movie in it. Ghidorah's rampage is nicely done and it's rare to see Ghidorah actually fight with a military in spite of all the havoc he unleashes. I'm mostly ok with the fight scenes in this movie, they are beam heavy, but it doesn't feel like the monsters ever consider beams their only means of fighting.

About kissing

1139 words - A quick cute Henry Cavill x reader drabble 

Christmas night, Marianne and Colin Cavill’s backyard, 23.12pm.

‘Have you ever thought of what it would be like if we were together?’ Henry asked. The both of you sat huddled together on a bench, watching the stars. 

‘Us?’ You quirked an eyebrow, but kept your gaze locked on an airplane that was flying overhead. As a child you always thought those blinking, moving lights were falling stars. But boy had you been wrong. Like many things in life, the magic was now long gone. 

Henry shifted his weight and the iron bench wobbled. ‘Mhm.’ 

You shot him a curious look. His lips had curled up slightly and even without Marianne’s fairy lights, you could have probably seen the mischievous little sparkle in his eyes. Ah, he was jesting. You sniffled. 

‘Oh sure, of course. We’d have like.. super nerdy babies who read fantasy novels to escape the dreadful existence of math class. And we’d have a whole lot of hobby rooms..and animals. Mm what a life!’ You let your wandering eyes roam back to Henry. His mirthful look had melted away. He nodded quietly before quickly looking back up at the stars. 

‘Yea. Kids..hmm?’ 

You frowned, but decided against asking what was up. Perhaps it was the break-up with his last beau. Like so many before, the relationship had crashed and burned just before christmas. And so Henry had asked you to tag along to his parent’s Christmas dinner instead. And here you were. Again. Like so many Christmases before this one. 

Henry continued: ‘But are you seeing anyone?’ 

‘Me? Oh you know me. I’m more of a summer lover kinda gal. The winter’s no good time for finding hot guys to be disappointed by. Can’t even see their abs in those thick ol’ sweaters.’

‘Never thought you an ab kinda girl.’ 

‘Oh you’d be surprised Cavill.’ 

‘Neill didn’t have abs though.’ 

You rolled your eyes and gave Henry a look. He laughed, winking terribly. 

‘Oh you know..he just kept it a secret from the rest of the world. Safely hidden beneath a comfy little belly.’ You shrugged.

‘I see.’ Henry yawned and stretched his arms up overhead, one arm making its way to looping around your shoulder. You grinned. 

‘Veryyy smooth Hen.’ 

‘You know me. I’m smoothness!’ 

You offered him a look, but all he did was shrug. ‘Come on, can’t I keep you a little warm?’ 

‘Hey! It was your idea to go outside, mister.’ 

‘Yep..’ He nodded and turned his head in your direction to follow the noises inside. Some of the other family members were probably heading to bed now. You turned your head too, curious to see what attracted his attention. 

‘Want to go back?’ You asked, turning back to face him, only to realise how close he’d gotten. With a quick blink you worked through what was happening. His warm breath fanned over your face and his arm tugged you nearer. 

He didn’t kiss you though. He just closed his eyes and sat back a bit, shaking his head. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘W-w..’ You looked at him with large eyes. Had he just almost kissed you? Buddy Henry? Henners? The guy you’d called your friend for years? You stood up and tugged your jacket straight, cheeks running hot. 

‘What was that?’ You asked, but Henry didn’t respond. He sucked in his lips, before looking away in agony. 

‘I’m sorry.’ He mumbled. 

You looked at him a moment longer, before you let your eyes roam to the lit windows of the main house. Marianne stood in the kitchen, turning down the stove where a stew had been brewing all day. Behind her Colin stepped in, bathrobe on, ready for bed. With an intimate little flick of his hand he tucked some of her hair behind her ear, lips kissing her on the cheek. She smiled and reciprocated, her lips finding his. Gods what a sweet couple they were. 

Henry also stood, shoulders drooping with guilt. You looked back at him, realising that you were in a very confusing situation right now. 

‘Hey, I’m so sorry. That was..that was uncalled for. I should’ve..’ 

You blinked at him, but couldn’t find the words. In fact you probably looked rather perplexed. With raised eyebrows you let out a little puff of air. ‘You like me?’ 

Henry frowned. ‘Ye-- hey of course I like you. We’d not be friends if..-’ 

‘You like me-like me? As in…’ You stepped towards him and just hugged him. Henry hugged back. You weren’t sure if this was an appropriate moment for a hug, but it felt right. Especially with Henry’s arms looping around you, and his eyes for a moment not piercing into you. 

From within the hug you tried to get your mind working. You felt like you were thinking three thousand miles an hour, and not at all. Heat had spread all over your cheeks and your fingers tingled. 

‘Holy shit.’ You muttered, voice muffled by his thick scarf. 

‘Is that a good holy shit?’ He asked, continuing to hug you. 

You laughed, shaking your head. ‘I don’t know. I--’ You leaned back and looked at him, still very much confused. He was so close, so warm, so beautiful. So...argh, no, this could not be happening. This was..bizarre! This was.. you studied his face for another moment. 

‘You okay?’ He asked, holding onto you lightly as he watched you have a tiny existential crisis. 

‘Okay, okay. You can kiss me now.’ You nodded, shaking yourself from being completely perplexed. 

‘Sure..?’ Henry raised an eyebrow at your fully focused gaze. You were all but staring at every hair, dimple and pore on his face. He probably thought you a complete looney! A silly, silly --

He leaned in and placed his lips on yours. 

Oh.

Oh, that’s nice. 

That’s warm and soft and..You closed your eyes. The cognac..the …

He leaned back again and looked at you expectantly. 

‘Are you sure you’re..--?’

You crashed your lips back to his before he could continue. He chuckled into your kiss. 

‘Okay okay.’ He laughed and used his large warm hands - even without gloves - to cup your face. You looked back into his eyes. 

‘Oh I’m a bad kisser huh?’ You said, feeling your heart drop. Neill once said that and the idea never left your mind since. 

‘What? No..I..’ Henry sighed and pressed his lips to yours again. This time even more tenderly, more calmly. 

All of a sudden all the thoughts just evaporated and there was only just Henry. Not even the airplanes up above, or the freakish cold. It was just Henry now. 

You sighed as he released the kiss. 

‘I don’t really have abs at the moment though.’ He said, eyes twinkling with mirth. 

‘Bother.’ You chuckled, throwing your arms around his shoulders and kissing him again. 

Bother, indeed.

overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way? 

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot. 

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember? 

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more. 

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to  aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting. 

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one. 

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content

Darkness Within Thoughts

Spoilers below!

Why did StarClan choose Ashfur to do whatever it is they wanted him to do? Why would they send him back, knowing his impact & true nature? Why him and not... say, anyone else? This outcome shouldn’t have been a shock to anyone with half a brain cell.

I’m so, so, so glad that the narrative acknowledges that Ashfur has an obsession with Squirrelflight. It’s not love, it’s a hate-filled obsession. They aren’t beating around the bush, and Jayfeather straight up saying that Ashfur’s behavior isn’t Squirrel’s fault is just. So nice. Retroactively making Ashfur kind of an obvious creep to everyone who knew him is also a pretty welcome addition.

I’m glad they included the argument from Graystripe’s Vow, it thankfully puts that super edition in a firm spot in the timeline - though it’s silly that they had to change dialogue in the se to keep the Ashfur reveal hidden. I think it would’ve been better if the se came out after, because we’d be able to read what the cats who left were up to after this book.

Shadowsight’s demotion is pretty insulting? Like, what has happened to Mothwing as a character. I never, ever considered her to be so bossy? Argumentative, yeah, but just pulling the rug out from under Shadowsight feels so out of character for her, especially when she brings up his visions like... Mothwing, honey, you haven’t had a legitimate vision from StarClan since tNP what the hell are you on?? The boy knows how to treat wounds?? 

I also really like the fact that they call what Ashfur did by its proper name - grooming. Because he did groom Shadowsight, and that needs to be acknowledged - no matter when it started, that’s what it is. Period.

HOWEVER the real insult is making Shadowsight treat Ashfur’s wounds. I can buy the other medicine cats/members of ShadowClan being uncertain of the visions he sees but making him tend to his abuser is fucking disgusting? Tigerheartstar what the actual hell??? How is that supposed to help him? 

We really did spend an entire chapter talking in circles around whether or not to kill Bramblestar’s body, huh? I mean, I saw it coming because it’s been well established that no one knows what to do and also that Squirrelflight is going to claw and scrape to save Bramblestar - I’m with Tigerheartstar tho let Bramblestar die already.

Cheddar, Pancakes, Eggs, and Bacon are the best kittypet names, fight me. They’re just so adorable!

The Sisters pointing out how ridiculous it is that the Clans still cling to the whole “don’t marry outside your Clan” thing is only heaping onto the idea that they will likely be changing at least that part of the warrior code in this arc. I hope they go through with it because watching these characters try their best to explain why their code can’t change is getting infuriating, lol.

Holy shit Lightleap DID something in this book! What a twist! Unfortunately, seeing Shadowsight get treated so poorly is really frustrating and just... speaks a lot to how inconsistently these minor and background characters are written. I do like that they bring up that Shadowsight’s been spoiled by Tigerheartstar, though.

The Sister’s ritual was awesome! I honestly really want to know where they’re taking all this and I hope it ends in a satisfying way. Ashfur seems to have really messed things up and I’m hoping for it all to mean something in the end. I also really want to see Rootspring develop his relationship with the Sisters and his powers.

Bristlefrost and Rootspring... Aside from the huge glaring fault of Bristlefrost never thinking about Rootspring romantically until the last book, their moments together are sweet. Unlike some Warriors couples, they actually have traits about one another that they admire! If the start of this relationship had been thought about at all, it honestly would be a really good pairing with all that Yearning.

Spotfur’s fear of having Stemleaf’s kittens... poor gal. I’m curious if Spotfur’s Rebellion will touch on this at all, alongside fleshing out her and Stemleaf’s relationship. I hope she and Bristlefrost become really good friends beyond the content of this arc... I’d love to see them taking care of the kittens.

THAT ENDING. Good lord I feel so bad for Squirrelflight - I really, really just want the best for her. Please, Erins. Don’t kill her for Bramblestar’s sake. Do anything but that. I don’t think that, after this, Squirrelflight wants to lead ThunderClan - but, who else would do it? No other cat has been built up to be a leader, other than maybe Bristlefrost. Squirrel deserves to live happily. Please just let her be happy.

Kill Bramblestar tho. All the talk about him being a good and honorable leader feels really sour after Moonkitti’s video and Squirrelflight’s Hope. He’s an awful leader.

All in all, it’s a good book. If you’ve been keeping up with this arc, it’s worth picking it up. That ending alone gives me hope that this arc won’t fall flat in the last two books, like AVoS did.

Narancia Ghira x Witch! Reader

Naranacia really knew how to make you fluster so easily.

He didn’t even have to do much other than give you wide eyes and words of praise as you went about casting spells and making potions.

And sometimes while his questions could be ridiculous, you couldn’t help but sigh whenever he asked one with so much determination. In a way, he was your weakness, or maybe you were just weak for him. 

Though there are times where he can admittedly give you headaches, like now, he invited his entire squad of Passione members into your abode.

“Narancia what is the meaning of this!”, you screech as you brought fire to one of your palms and held your wand with the other.

“Nononono! Wait (Y/n)! They’re my friends!”, he waves his arms about as he ran up to you before tripping on your snake and falling onto you.

You both went down with a loud crash and yelp of pain.

The one with a hat laughed as he pointed down at you two, “BAHAHA! THAT WAS QUITE THE GREETING NARANCIA!”, he howled.

You glared at him before tossing a book at his face with your wand as you tried to get up, it did hit him but you were too busy scolding at Narancia in Latin to even bother with the others.

“I’ve told you time and time again not to bring strangers or wired things into this place!”, you scowl down at him before helping him stand and dusting off any dirt that may have gotten on him.

“They are my friends from Passione! Remember the ones I keep telling you about!”, he says with a cheeky grin. Only to yelp when you start pulling at his cheeks.

“Friends or not you should’ve told me you were coming, I was going to clean this place up look at it, its a mess!”, you whine as you go back to speaking Italian for everyone to hear.

“What mess?”, you hear one of his friends ask as they all looked around the place.

“Anyways”, you sigh before letting Narancia go to look at the people he calls his friends, “I am (Y/n) (L/n), a resident witch, now who are you?”.

“Ah-ha, sorry about that I am Bruno Bucciarati, next to me is Leone Abbacchio”, the man with black-spotted white suit gestures to a man with almost lavender hair, who grunted in response.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! And this is Fugo, you know that guy who easily gets angry and helps me with math”, Narancia excitedly exclaims as he wraps an arm around the one who had some holes in his suit.

“Fugo” in turn roughly hit Narancia’s head in retaliation with a scowl before turning to look at you, “I can introduce myself shit-for-brains, I’m Pannacotta Fugo”, he says as Nranacia whines before glaring at him.

“You taught him math? I’m impressed, usually, some people would’ve given up then because of how slow he was on that subject on my behalf thank you for that”, you hum.

“No problem”, Fugo waves off as Narancia lets out an offended “Hey”. Someone coughs as you turn your head within the direction of the noise.

“I am Guido Mista, the one you threw a book at”, the one with the hat huffs as he crosses his arms while you turn to the last two.

A blonde and pink-haired gal around your age.

The blonde smiles kindly as he introduces himself first, “I’m Giorno Giovanna”

“Trish Una”, the girl says simply as you both observe each other for a moment before nodding at one another while some of the males around you quietly wondered what that was about.

“Well, what is it that you need? I was in the middle of doing something before my dearest dork Naracnia came in hollering”, you huff as you pick up the snake that was on the ground.

“Is that Ember?”, Narancia asked as he followed after the Python in your hands while you went about your lab putting several things away using your magic.

“Um yes well, we were most curious about the individual Narancia kept talking about, he kept going on and on about you whenever possible”, Bucciarati smiles as some of the others groaned.

The blush that dusted your cheeks took the majority by mild surprise as you huffed and looked away before snapping at Narancia, “I thought I told you not to tell anyone of me! I like my identity hidden damn it!!!”, you hiss.

“Hey, can you really blame me?! I mean my girlfriend is a super cool witch that has awesome magic!”, he grins as he takes your python away from you and coles at it while walking away.

“Hey! Narancia! You- Yooou!~ Come back here”, you yell as your face gets darker with color as two of his friends gape at him.

“GIRLFRIEND?!”, Mista and Fugo yell in shock as you turn around to face them with a frown and pout.

“Well, who else did you think fixed him up during his hospital stay after your battle with the former head of Passione? My potions are more efficient than the medicine they use”, you scowl when a certain memory came up, “They even gave him the wrong amount of pills damn it!”.

“Wait, those vails, I think I remember now”, Giorno spoke as he brought out one of your empty vials, “So that’s what made your recovery quick!”, he gapes at the vial as you curtly nod while crossing your arms.

“Of course, I’m not called a grand witch for nothing, I am considered a prodigy among my own people”, you state, the way you said it didn’t sound too egotistical.

“I know right! That’s what makes her so amazing!”, Narancia chimed in as your face flushed red again.

“Narancia Ghirga!”, you screech as you run after him with a book as he laughs.

The others stared amused before Mista got distracted and dragged Fugo along with him when he saw your broom floating. Bucciarati crossed his arms as he stood by Abbacchio with a chuckle he says, “They are maybe young but they already act like a married couple”.

“I know, that’s what makes them an odd pair”, Abbacchio scowls before sighing as Giorno looks at his companion who ran about while you chased after him.

“He looks so happy”, he thought with a smile.

Let it be known that I have fallen to the forces of Chaos. Which mean that after many, many years of relative sanity I decided to catch up with the recent developments in the Warhammer 40.000 universe.

Now, I loved that bloody, golden, full-of-skulls, grimdark thing once upon a time, but it did go a bit stale, what with the Corpse Emperor God Emperor of Mankind rotting on his golden throne, the Inquisition doing... inquisitiony things and the hero-planet of Cadia still standing against any odds. So I bailed. Okay, to be honest, I bailed but for one guilty pleasure, namely watching the glorious If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device series. Which so does not count!

And then I heard the Ultramarines chant once again and remembered all the glories of soup. (If you listen to it long enough and know Russian, you too shall be enlightened. For all non-Russian speakers, it really does sound as if the lyrics talk about cooking some amazing soup and then eating it. It’s... a thing.) Wait, I said to myself, they released a Roboute Guilliman figure, right? I saw that, not like you can miss it with it’s... very subtle aesthetics. And I sure saw an amazing figure of Magnus the Red (who, let it be known, didn’t betray anyone, oh, and Leman Russ is a bitch). So are the Primarchs back or something, I asked the Corpse Emperor God Emperor. There was no answer. So I went to do some research.

And once I did, I actually picked up a WH40K novel (or two). Again. And let me tell you, those are usually a dredge to get through. A very grimdark, testosterone-dripping, wordy, ridiculously epic dredge. *shudders* Some are readable. Some... are not.

Anyway, the ones I did pick up were the Dark Imperium series first two entries, because my beautiful Smurf Boy Roboute Guilliman is back and was there ever any other choice? Rhetoric question of course. If you are still reading and have no idea whom am I talking about, a quick recap:

Once upon a time there was a universe that was so ridiculously grimdark that it wasn’t even funny. Although sometimes it was grimdark in very funny ways. Humanity spread throughout the Galaxy, then got hit hard with Bad Things, mostly courtesy of themselves. Then an egotistical gold-loving Immortal Man With A Plan decided to unfuck the Galaxy. In order to do that he made - after some rather disastrous demo versions - an army of GMO-supersoldiers, using genetic material harvested from twenty vat-grown fetuses of super-superhumans. Those fetuses? His so-called sons, the Primarchs. Who got baby-napped by the powers of Chaos and thrown into space. Where they grew up into killing-machines, each one on a grimdark planet of his own, until Daddy Emperor picked them up and sent them a-crusading, that is a-conquering the Galaxy for Humankind. Never paid any child-support, the bastard. Anyway, they did... reasonably well with this whole Galaxy-conquering thing. And then things happened, which ended in half of the Primarchs going full Daemon, the other half fucking off in a non-constructive manner and into unknown direction, one of them becoming a sainted martyr and the Emperor becoming a skeleton and sitting on his Golden Throne for the next 10.000 years. Ah, no, sorry, one Primarch tried to put things into order, but the only thing he got as his reward was his Daemonic Bro’s sword to the neck... and spending the next 10.000 years as a bloody tourist attraction. And that was Roboute Guilliman, The Supposedly Boring And Weak One. Meanwhile, the Galaxy went to hell by the way of religious fanatics, xeno incursions and Chaos shenanigans.

After years of marinating it its own sauce the WH40K universe finally started to move. And move fast! The hero-planet of Cadia got smashed to pieces, Warp-rifts basically tore the galaxy... also to pieces and things got so bad that even the space elves decided to help. Which they actually did (!) by getting that tourist attraction of a Primarch off his non-golden throne by the way of technological fuckery and death magic. Accidentally they chose to revive the one Primarch who was actually good at state-building and logistics, and unlike most of his brothers was actually sane to start with. 

Well, now he’s still sane. And, which is rather new, deliciously bitchy. See, he returned to life, stood up from his bier-chair, massacred an entire army of Khornites by himself, went to talk to his Dead Emperor Dad, got hit in the face by Daddy Issues, massacred another army, got into a screaming match with his Evil Brother, forced useless supergolden supersoldiers to actually do something after 10k years on sitting on their asses, pulled some well-marinated super-supersoldiers from the basement of some creepy tech-person and went a-crusading. Only his version of a-crusading was suspiciously similar to taking a stroll with his closest buddies and stabilizing the realm. Only it took longer that six months in this case. 112 years long, to be precise. At the end of which he went back to his own his own province... in order to defend it from a Chaos incursion courtesy of the local Plague God and another Evil Brother.

That’s tough, buddy, one might say and they would be completely right. What gets me about this plotline is not the novelty of somebody actually doing some good on a galaxy-wide scale and being a decent person about it (which by local standards means not killing one’s own and choosing to actually heal the sick instead of bombing their planets from the orbit). I knew that would happen the moment I saw which Primarch got revived. What gets me is how internally bitchy the guy gets about it, although in a rather stoic way. And I don’t blame him. If I was a part of a group project, did about half of the work by myself, saw that project implode by no fault of my own, then managed to salvage some of it, then chose to sacrifice myself to save that small salvaged scrap, hoping that everything would turn out okay once the new team took over... and then woke up to find that project utterly fucked in ways thay I could have never imagined with myself being the only competent project manager around, I would be bitchy too.

Not to mention that poor guy has to deal with 24/7 physical pain as well as the realization that Big Emperor Daddy never loved any of his sons, only seeing them as tools and only allowing them to believe in this whole family bullshit for his own gain. Big Daddy told him so mind-to-mind. Yay.

Also, people are now insisting that Big Daddy is God Daddy and he himself is the Son of God. Something he would very much like to keep denying, but he can’t, because the whole bloody Empire he’s so desperately trying to save is now powered by a fanatical horror of a religion, one dangerously prone to mass-murder and causing planetary exctinction events. And they are thiiiiis close to calling him a heretic, despite technically being the Son of God.

Oh, and apparently technology went backwards. Backwards and sideways! So bloody sideways that it’s a matter of course to have flying loudspeakers shaped like golden cherubs... made using baby corpses. As in corpses of actual babies. Tasteless and not even well-crafted, ugh. The architecture is pretty unrecognizable too with all the unnecessary things piled on top of other unnecessary things.

You’d think that that was enough, right? Yeah, no. The guy also hasn’t properly slept in 112 years! Which, okay, GMO-demigod, but still.

Kill me now, but I enjoyed Dark Imperium. A lot. More than I remember ever enjoying a WH40K novel, which is curious, since this one is still a wordy awkward dredge, even if a rather lovely one, and my taste should have drastically improved since the times of old. I guess the next one for me is going to be The Regent’s Shadow. You see, I would really like to see the batshit insane oligarchs of Terra try to pull one on a guy who got into non-bloody empire-building at fourteen. Boring he may be, stupid he is not.

Wrapping this rather random rant up - I do think that the 8th and 9th editions of Warhammer 40.000 (2017 and 2020) were a breath of fresh air, at least lore-wise. Will have to do some research as to how the actual rules might have changed, but it really doesn’t matter since I was always more of a lore-gal anyway. It’s also, I think, a great moment to actually get into this thing, since there is a dynamic, galaxy-scale, linear plotline to follow. Which, let me tell you, is not something that happens all that often. But please, please, please don’t get into this thing!

Rough Day- Tyson Barrie

Plot: Tyson Barrie is having a rough time after being traded to Toronto. Y/n sees him on the TTC and tries to comfort him.

Note: I don’t know the guy or how he feels about the trade.But I guess anyone would be sad about being traded right? I loved him in Colorado so when he got traded from my favourite American team to my favourite Canadian team I was sad but happy. This was totally inspired by the fact I met him on the TTC a few months ago (he wasn’t crying don’t worry) but he was just staring off into space. he was lovely anyway. So thankful I got the subway that night instead of an Uber. Hockey gods were looking down on me!

Word count: 1,747

You stared down the platform, there was only one other person around, he was a a youngish guy. He was just standing there staring into space. You made eye contact but he noticed pretty quickly and turned away. that was awkward, you thought, but then again this was Toronto. You stare back up at the board, another five minutes to go. “Fuck should I should have gotten an Uber,” you mutter under your breathe shuffling your feet to keep warm. At least all of those leaf fans had gone now so the train would be empty. Not that you followed hockey, the fans were just a pain on match days. Finally you hear the hum and clink of the tram. “Finally” you huff.

You watched the tram doors open. It was empty now as a dozen people scurried off. It was nearly ten in the evening.The doors were about to shut when the young guy from earlier dashed through the door. He looked like he was in his mid twenties, with curly dark brown hair.His expensive looking suit and black coat he looked like a business man in the city.He let out a sniff and a laugh before sitting down opposite you. That’s when you realize he’s not laughing, he’s crying or more accurately sobbing. You stand there for a moment wondering what to do. You look around you two are the only people on the TTC. You stand there conflicted, he might be a weirdo crying but then again he sounded super upset. In this situation you’d want someone to check on you. Your mind was racing, if you heard something had happened to his guy tomorrow you would feel terrible you never said anything.

You get up and take the seat next to him. He doesn’t notice at first “Are you ok?” You ask, tapping him on his shoulder. “I mean obviously you're not but,” you say realising asking if he was ok was pretty dumb.

“No, not really I’m sorry I’ve just had a really bad day,” he says looking up at you with his dark brown eyes. His face is red and puffy from crying. “You wanna talk about it? I won’t judge,” you say giving him a simatheic smile

“I can’t,” he says looking down fiddling with his jacket sleeve.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry you're having a bad day…” you pause when you realize you don’t even know the man’s name. “Tyson,” he said sniffing again

“Tyson,” you said with a nod “I’m y/n”

“We all have bad days and that’s ok and there is no shame in crying, I don’t know what you're going through but, bad days and months they pass, I promise, I know it’s cliche, last month my boyfriend of five years out of the blue dumped me, it was hard we’d been engaged over a year, then my job made me redundant, I cried a lot but everyday the pain got less and less day and eventually I got back on my feet” you say, rooting through your bag for a pack of tissues. You finally find them and pass one over. “Really?,” he asked

“Yeah,” you says suddenly wondering why you’d told this stranger your life story. “That’s tough I’m sorry” ,he said dabbing his face.“its’s okay I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it about me, I’ll leave you alone now, I just wanted to make sure you were ok,” you say awkwardly getting up “ no please don’t leave me, I might be getting fired,” Tyson blurts out. “And I really really don’t want to be, that’s why I was upset”

“Oh,” you said, plopping back down on the seat. “Well no- one wants to get fired,” you say slowly.“I’ve only just moved to Toronto in the last few months and that was really hard, leaving my friends in Denver, but I had no choice,”

“I can understand that, I hated leaving my friends and family in LA, what makes you think you're being fired? I mean you don’t know?” You ask gently “I messed up, big style and now my manager wants to get rid of me, I know they do, I’ve heard the whispers and the worst part is I could end up anywhere in another city or town I hate, I just want to go back to Denver, I miss it so much,”

“They can’t fire you for one mistake and come on now Toronto isn’t that bad,” you laugh “No I guess not,” he sighed “it's just like Toronto is the central city for what I do so everyone is looking at me, in Denver it was just easier,”

“Ah okay, are you from Denver then?”

“No Victoria BC, my work means can I move around a lot,I’ve lived in Denver for eight years though” he said you could see his face instantly change and light up when he mentioned Denver“Well now I get why you wouldn’t want to leave Denver, I’ve heard it’s beautiful around there,”

“Oh it is,” he says sadly and you realise you’ve said the wrong thing. “Not that Toronto isn’t great too,it’s just different,” he says.

“I wouldn’t normally do this but, do you want to go out for a drink?” You ask offering your hand to get up just as the subway came to a stop ‘Sure why not,’ he said with a shrug grabbing your hand.

In the end the you ended up at your place. The two of you sat with a glass of red wine. He stretched out on your sofa, his head in your lap. You ran your fingers through the curly locks of hair. He told you all about his friends back in Denver Nate who was a big dumb boy who insisted people called him Nate dog with two g’s. EJ, Josty who she realises is not his real name but a nickname is a loveable pest and then there is the clear leader of the pack, Gabe who in Tyson’s words looked like a Swede god.But had a very big head literally Which Nate and Tyson made fun of all the time. You in turn told him about your weird friends and family and how you ended up coming from sunny La to cold snowy Toronto. It was strange you felt like you had been friends for years. You felt such a sense of ease and peace with this guy, like conversation was never forced yet you knew you had no romantic feelings for this guy and you knew he felt the same. Tyson ended up crashing on your sofa and in the morning you cooked breakfast together before you both had to leave for work. But before you did he said something rather odd. “Can you not tell anyone about this my weird breakdown? Can it be between us?” He said adjusting his tie “Yeah sure,”

The pair of you swapped numbers, you kept in contact texting now and then. Tyson had said his work was a little better his co-workers were supportive of him. Which made you happy although you knew he still wasn’t a hundred percent happy. He had booked a trip to Colorado to see his friends in the summer. You had tried to meet up a couple times but his work kept him busy and you had lots of things going on too. You knew he worked unsocial hours but what he exactly did was still a mystery to you. It wasn’t until two months later, you got that answer, when you saw Tyson’s face again. Except this time it was on tv. You were sat in a bar with your gal pals nursing a glass of red wine. “Toronto Maple leaf Tyson Barrie, has been traded back to the Colorado Avalanche in return for Nazem Kardri, the Victoria born player Barrie spent the year playing for the leafs in a statement he said “I’ve enjoyed playing for the leafs this last year, but I’m excited also to go back to Denver and play again for the avs with my old buddies,” the screen showed Tyson being interview his face beaming with happiness, the same guy but so different from the one you met that night on the train. “Can you turn this up please?” You ask the bartender. He nods. “Y/n I didn’t realize you were this into sports,” your best friend Jan says looking at you surprised “I’m not not really but I’m just interested in this story,” you say signalling to Tyson Barrie who they were showing shots of on the ice, “oh Barrie,” Jan said rolling her eyes. ���what?” You ask curious, you’d never really followed hockey before.“He was terrible for the leafs I’m glad we are giving him back,”she says pointing to Tyson. “Poor dude give the guy a break,” you say sympathetically, not taking your eyes off the screen. “Why are you defending him, you don’t even watch hockey,” Jan asks You shrug “I dunno I guess it can’t be easy, being a professional athlete, having all eyes on you,”

“Because you know a lot about that, poor little millionaire,” Jan said taking another sip of her wine and rolling her eyes. You know that you don’t really know what it is like but you got a glimpse into that life when you met Tyson on the train that night. You had no idea he was a millionaire. Wow. Even still millionaires aren’t exempt from mental health problems. Especially when all eyes are on you. Now you understood why he disliked Toronto for his job so much. Toronto media were known in any sense for being ruthless. You excuse yourself to the washroom and once safely in the stall you get out your phone and send a text.

To: Tyson

I’m happy for you. I told you it would all work out eventually. X

To: Y/n

Thanks y/n,

To: Tyson

I’m just a phone call away if you need to talk x

You slip your phone back into your bag. “Who are you texting?” Your best friend asked raising an eyebrow. You give a smile, you weren’t going to tell them about your night with Tyson, you'd promised that night would just be between the two of you. “Just a friend,” you say. Your phone pinged again.

To: y/n

I’ll let you know and next time I’m in town maybe we can grab a drink?

To: Tyson

I’d like that Tys, good luck in Colorado xx

Steven Universe Future musings

Rambling thoughts behind the cut for A Very Special Episode!  As always, feel free to reblog or message me with your own thoughts and ideas!

We streamed the episode through the official CN app and for a second it cut out part of the vital discourse between Explorer Gal and Mayor Guy.  Thank goodness it wasn’t more!

How the fuck old IS Onion

I thought he was about 4 before but if so he should be pushing 7 and kid should know how to chew a fucking broccoli by now

Oooohh Rainbow can access Pearl’s sand/cloud animation powers and Steven’s levitation powers together to apply them to objects?

Also THE FUCK IS THAT STEVEN PLUSHIE WITH ITS CHEST RIPPED OPEN AND ONE EYE PINK

I thought fandom had left behind the whole Steven loses an eye thing but oh ho!  It’s sorta back!

Maybe Steven will wind up with one permanently pink and one normal, showing he’s scarred by his Gem struggles but still ultimately human???

I’m hard-pressed to see him lose an eye entirely given that the movie definitively established he can heal himself

Leave it to Onion to have that thing lying around

And leave it to Onion to fucking COLLECT GREG’S HAIR OUT OF THE OCEAN BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED

Rainbow 2.0 has such a sweet voice!

My favorite was What the--???

haha I just spent like 3 hours drawing Steven’s phone but still didn’t draw it correctly. Why didn’t I look up a reference?

Steven got stress eyes IMMEDIATELY

Initial thoughts were “Wow, why is Garnet being so mean to these Gems?”

Later thoughts: ahhhh this is the future where Garnet overdid it.

FUSION DANCE FUSION DANCE FUSION DANCE

MY BOY’S DANCE MOVES ARE SO GOOD

WOW

THAT CONFIDENCE

THOSE LITTLE HAND GESTURES

THE LEAN BACK WITH THE FISTS AND HIS EYES CLOSED

LOOK HOW HIS JACKET FLOOFS AROUND HIM

LOOK AT HIM GO

I’M SO PROUD

THE WAY HE HOLDS GARNET’S HANDS LIKE AN EQUAL AND THEY SMILE AT EACH OTHER AND I’M LITERALLY TEARING UP IT’S JUST SO GREAT AND HE’S SO PRECIOUS

HE’S GONNA DO GREAT AT THE BIG DANCE WITH CONNIE

SOMEONE PLEASE GIF IT FOR ME BECAUSE I WANNA WATCH IT FOREVER

I’ll make a separate post with caps because I just love this SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!

Sunstone is so much wiser than anyone knows -- turn off that motion smoothing!

Great safety tips, Sunstone!

Steven starts sweating immediately as soon as unfusing... poor kid!

Just... Rainbow, you are the best Mary Poppins that ever was <3

But Onion is just.... beyond

Home Safety obstacle course??? nooo!  Motion smoothing??? Nooo!

BungaCOWA

Do you guys think the tiny arms are Sapphire’s, and the beefy arms are Steven + Ruby?

Steven almost passes out coming out of Sunstone again....

The entire Pearl second video call is AMAZING

Incredible insane angles on Pearl!  The mood!  Onion in the Wall!  Then it goes into like a take on the X-files theme???

You were such a good kid you were never like this I’m so sorry I never told you that omg Pearl your love for Steven is soooooooooooo pure!

But don’t worry Steven you’re still loved now whether or not you live up to someone else’s idea of good!

Steven is so done with Onion by the time they find him in the kitchen

So Onion, like Steven, doesn’t grow, but apparently, he has grown enough to be literate

Oh no Steven’s eyes are just closed on Rainbow’s face because he’s so tired now

Steven is wiped out

No no no, it’s fine, it’s good!

I’m combining all my responsibilities into one responsibility!

Steven just went full Bojack Horseman here somehow!!!!  I think the I’m fine loop does it, and the crazy angles on Steven’s face -- soooo good!

It’s - it’s brilliant!  It’s fine, I’m fine, it’s really, I’m fine, it’s fine, I’m fine --

I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m -- really, just fine -- huh?

Amethyst omg

Why is Onion a Pied Piper??? because he’s terrible

Wait, I just realized both skinny arms have the wedding rings... curious!

Steven for Beefy Arms confirmed 2019

So did any of that happen?  Did it happen as a skit?  Was it all being filmed?  Or was it only shown to us the audience, suggesting it did happen in a future that is not canon?  

I suspect that if Sunstone looked ahead and saw possible futures where a) gems were hurt and b) Steven was hurt by overcommitting, that the possible futures they had to pick from would be influenced by everyone in the fusion.  So since Steven is super anxious these days and thinks he’s the only one who can solve people’s problems, then the futures Sunstone has available to pick from are naturally going to be ones where other people are more incompetent (Garnet being callous, Pearl being inept with Onion) and where Steven tries to sacrifice himself to save the day.  

I’m not entirely sure!  Future vision episodes always give me a bit of a headache in a good way.  Very fun and not the emotional devastation I was expecting, which means that the next episode to be a heavy hitter will probably gut everyone and leave them for dead.

LOVER Pt.1

- I Forgot That You Existed -

Bucky x Reader/ The Winter Soldier x Reader

A/N: Welcome to the beginning of this journey, hope you are excited for the rest of the story, please let me know what you think, like/ leave a comment/ reblog and all that stuff it’s really appreciated :))

Word Count: 2.7k      Series Masterlist   Part 2

Warnings: Just violence for this chapter.

Hydra had fallen and S.H.E.I.L.D had fallen with it, given they were truly one and the same in the end. But just because the secret was out, it did not mean that Hydra had gone extinct. They thrived working in the shadows and casting new light just made more shadows in new places for them to hide. Like rats they scurry from one safe place to another, making new hidden bases, moving back and rebuilding old ones. That was their dumbest tactic.

On their tails, they had the Avengers chasing them, and the Avengers weren’t easy to hide from since they seemed to be growing in numbers every day.

To make matters worse for them, because you just loved to make things worse for the organization that ruined your life and stole it from you in more ways than you could count, they had you, their very own prized “Asset Number 2” who was living just to continue to kill them all. You wouldn’t stop until you could safely say that Hydra was a thing of the past.

And any new organizations like Hydra that came up, you would put their fire out before they could burn someone else as they did to you, as they did to him.

You would search for intel, scan digital global maps, return to old bases trying to find where the disease of Hydra had spread to next. Hydra was right to call themselves by this name, Lerneaen Hydra being the type of monster that when you cut one head off, two more would grow in its place. It was tiring chasing after the “heads” but what else was their really to do with your life, with your abilities, work in a small town diner? Not a chance.

You consider for a moment what it would be like, serving drinks with a cherry fake smile, winking at men that made your stomach curl for an extra tip, and then bringing them out back and slitting their throats for trying to put a hand up your short uniform skirt? It would just never work out.

The explosive device you had set on the door goes off, blowing your hair back and spreading a bit of heat against your cheeks.

“That was a close one.” You thought aloud, feeling your face to make sure your eyebrows were still there. You had been looking into this specific base for a long time, you were tired of trying to figure out passwords and lock codes so you did a small heist of the local police department armoury and decided the loud and proud approach was more your style today. The alarms blared like music to your ears.

“That’s right, panic, scurry around like rats, grab a weapon, it won’t help you.” You say in a sing-song voice, purely for your own amusement, it had been a long while since you had had a partner to joke with.

You grab your .44 magnum revolver from your thigh holster, lean up against the wall and listen for nearing footsteps around the corner, you check and make sure you have all nine bullets loaded and when you hear the tip tap of the scurrying rats you duck down and peer around the corner, shooting upward as the men run towards you in blind panic. There were six of them, you counted each one as you put a bullet in their heads, even as they realized you were there and went to turn and run you were too fast.

You took a moment to admire your work because hell if you didn’t who else would?

The men wore bleachy white lab coats now stained in their own dark blood, “damn lab rats,” you say with a spite filled yet satisfied grunt as you spit on their bodies.

You look down the hallway, no one else seems to be there but you know better than to waltz down there with only three bullets left. You grab a grenade off your hip, pull the pin and hold it to your lips as you count to three before dramatically rolling it down the long hallway like a bowling ball until it hits the door at the end and stops.

You hear men begin to yell “grenade” but your timing’s too perfect, they don’t even finish the word before their lips are probably blown right off their faces.

“Strike!” You congratulate your self as you slowly stride down the hallway, a swagger to your step. Fuck a diner, this was what you were good at. You excelled at this.

One of the men wasn’t quite dead, you walk up to him, stick the heel of your boot into his chest where the skin is torn open and then kiss the blade of your knife before pushing it through his heart. You fake a frown as you watch the light leave his eyes.

“Awe just a spare, you ruined my streak!”

As if human lives were equivalent to bowling pins, but in your mind, the lives of Hydra officers were lower, even lower than an inanimate object, but can anyone blame you, they treated you the same way.

You skip down the hallway, twirling your knife in your hands until you think you hear a noise, holstering your knife you grab your prized AP4 gun off your back and hold it up to your line of sight, tired of the dramatics and wanting to see Hydra blood splattered on the walls of their underground steel hell box.

You find nothing and no one as you kick the door to the lab open.

In total there were only a few lab rats and couple meek soldier mice? Hydra must be feeling the pressure you’ve been putting on them lately, good.

You plug in your USB and start the download of all their files, this will help you figure out what Hydra’s up to and where their other basses might be.

You hear a noise down the hall, one expertly quiet footstep that only a super-soldier would notice, you should have checked the surroundings before you left your back so open, someone comes in and you raise your gun at them about to yell at them to drop their weapon, until you realize you are being held up by a man with a bow and arrow.

You laugh for a moment, he shoots an arrow as you lower your gun and you catch it, breaking it in half thanks to your super-soldier strength and laugh. Your laugh fades to shock when someone walks in beside him, his gun is covering part of his face but you recognize that metal arm, that messy hair that needs to be trimmed, his face as he lowers the gun a bit to look at you.

“Winter?” You ask, losing all of your focus as your mind panics and before you realize the stupid arrow guy shot again, right into your stomach, it feels like a sharp pain, it goes straight up your spine and into your head making your vision go blank and your stomach ache. You’re lying on the ground, when did you fall?

“Fuck,” you say but it comes out so quiet and you feel so weak, you squeeze your fingers to stay awake, to focus but something is wrong, something is so very wrong.

You hear faint footsteps.

“Someone already cleared out this base, I’m assuming it’s our gal there that you shot in the stomach without thinking.” Says a voice you swear sounds like Tony Stark, or at least how he sounds on tv.

“She was pointing a gun at me!” Clint defends and Bucky chuckles as he walks over to you, you’re alive and struggling on the floor, like an animal, helpless and visibly angry about it as you grab at your stomach.

“She’s not dead,” Bucky confirms as he grabs your hand, but he doesn’t look at you like he knows who you are, he doesn’t look sad to see you dying on the floor. And as the pain fills your body, as your head pounds against your skull, your eyes water, your mouth tastes tangy like metal you realize he has no idea who you are, your eyes go wide as you desperately try to speak to him, but you spit up blood which horrifies him.

“Impossible, I’m using those arrows you made me Tony, you said instant kill, that doesn’t look instant.”

“They are poison coated, Legolas, the poison should kill any normal person within seconds, seems our gal here is both a badass Hydra killer and a special enhanced. Barnes bring her on the jet, let’s nuke this joint.”

Clint instantly feels bad as he watches Bucky carry you away, how was he supposed to know you had killed those guys in the hallway, he came in after Nat and Cap who went into a different room, so he just assumed they had taken care of them. He looks at the small pool of blood you left behind on the ground and then grabs your USB, putting it in his pocket and hoping he can give it to you later.

You are only partially conscious, conscious enough to hear and to feel the pain circling your body but that’s about it.

You feel them lay you down and then strap you in, a safety measure, perhaps to keep you in place, or more for their own safety, you aren’t sure. You blackout from the pain, only waking up sometime later, you aren’t sure where or how long it’s been but the room is bright white, it’s filled with fancy technology on the walls and a nurse looks you in the eyes and then scurries away to get the others.

You blink a few times, sit up even though it sends shooting pain up your spine and to your toes, your brain feels numb, they must be heavily medicating you, and to achieve that they must know about your…abilities.

“We go into lots of Hydra bunkers, it’s not rare to find specially enhanced soldiers there, or traces of their past existence, but it is rare to find one who seems to be doing exactly what we were,” Tony says as the room quickly fills with various curious Avengers

“Do you usually shoot at them too?” You ask.

“No.” Tony answers easily while Wanda answers simultaniously, “yes.”

Tony looks at her, raises a playfull brow which gets him a shoulder shrug in return, and then turns back to you.

“Lets cut to the chase, you’re special. Another Super soldier by the looks of it,” he says as he flips through your lab results.

“I’m the same as Winter, same make, different model.” You joke as you gesture to your body.

“Winter?” Steve asks confused.

“Yeah, Winter, he is the only reason I even got shot, he broke my focus. I’ll never be killed by a dude with a damn bow and arrow.” You counter thinking that somehow answers who Winter is.

“Who is Winter?” Tony says, asking you again.

“How do you not know who he is? He was with you, in the base, on that jet. I saw him and blanked. The Winter Soldier, I’m exactly like him, he helped them create me, I am a copy of him.”

“Let me guess your name is Summer right?” Tony jokes.

“Spring, actually. Hydra is really creative, luckily they maxed out at two of us and didn’t run out of seasons.”

Tony chuckles at the nickname and speaks up, “FRIDAY, call Barnes to the medical ward.”

Then you just wait, still confused still in pain as the love of your life walks through the door.

“You didn’t tell us you knew our almost casualty here?” Tony asks and Steve listens intently, never having heard of “Spring” before now.

“I don’t?” He answers and your heart drops. You were right, your hunch from the way he looked at you before was right, it wasn’t that he moved on and didn’t care, it’s that he completely forgot, he has no idea who you are.

The Avengers, or at least the ones in the room, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Wanda and Bucky, all stare at you with looks of confusion and some filled with accusation.

“So your story doesn’t work,” Sam suggests, instantly not trusting you, not that the others trust you any more than he does.

“It’s not a story, or an excuse it’s the truth. I was The Spring Soldier, Asset number 2, I was created by Hydra, I was the only person they found who could survive the half-assed knock off serum they created and used on Winter first. I was trained by Winter, he was my partner, my lover.” You say the last part quietly and they pretend not to notice as you look at your hands.

“You just don’t remember me, it’s happened before,” you finish.

“I thought you got all your memories back Buck?” Steve asks.

Clint chimes in, “How do you even know if you remember everything you…forgot,” but no one pays attention to him.

“I do,” Bucky assures himself aloud.

“I forgot you existed once too, and I’ve dealt with you forgetting me before too. After you left Hydra I couldn’t find you anywhere for years, they said you went chasing after some old friend, they couldn’t find you either.

I heard that you joined the Avengers and there were all these trials in the news and it seemed like you had moved on and I was tired of chasing after you so I thought it was my turn to forget, I begged a lower officer to perform the procedure, I thought to forget you would be hard, painful. I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t. It wasn’t long before the memories rushed back. You should remember me too by now. What all do you remember, about the past?” You spill your guts, quickly running over your past skipping some of the darker moments. You ask the question as calm and collected as you can, masking the heartbreak as you search for answers.

“I remember Hydra, I remember the war and I remember Steve but not you,” he says so flatly like he isn’t bothered. As if he isn’t even trying to rack his brain for memories of you.

And he looks at you in this way that breaks your heart, behind his eyes there isn’t love, there isn’t hate, just indifference.

And it hurts because you want him back so badly but he doesn’t seem to care. As painful as the past is you crave it at this moment. Life with Winter was hectic and hard but it was worth it to be with him, this peaceful and quietness that lingered without him, without being part of Hydra was deadly. And then he had to twist the knife.

“I remember everyone I’ve ever killed, I remember everything the soldier did but I am not him.”

“Yes, you are!” You say raising your voice a little, like a wounded animal backed up against the wall.

“No, I’m not.” He says and he doesn’t yell but he says it like he’s so sure of himself and it hurts, a blow to the heart as if he’s stomping on the memories as if he’s ripping up pictures in your face. And he isn’t saying the words out loud, he’s not saying he doesn’t love you, but he might as well be.

As Bucky leaves the room in a rush the team gives you a new mix of looks. Tony looks at you as if you’re a new project, something begging to be fixed. Clint looks guilty and confused. Sam and Steve are both defensive, they had spent so long helping Bucky move on from his past, helping him believe he wasn’t the same person, that it wasn’t his fault and here you come, ruining that idea.

Wanda looked neutral, like she sort of felt bad for you but also didn’t trust you either.

The love of your life just walked out the door, leaving you behind like dust without a second thought, for what felt like the hundredth time, and you were stuck in a room of strangers who were all silently judging you and making their own opinions on you.

To make it worse you were handcuffed and strapped to this damn hospital bed. You had to get Winter or Bucky to remember you and you had to get the entirety of the Avengers to trust you and believe you aren’t a threat. What a fucking nightmare.

Part 2

Tag List: @finnofamerica @theseuscmander @fortisfiliae @theboywhocriedlupin @draqcnheartstrinq @carolinesbookworld 

Let me know if you would like to be tagged, this series is getting its own special taglist since I discontinued all my other ones.

The World and all its Charms

Charm is a lost art. Charm is what we expect when we come to a city called the Hostess City of Savannah. Take my word for it, as my husband and I officially became super-hosts...independent of any agency. For whatever it’s worth, we have been through our share of less than charming agencies that boast they are doing great. They let less than desirable people into our property and, when we pointed out their transgressions, acted like it was our fault. Not our fault people abuse property and safety of inhabitants. That’s not what I’d call a Lucky charm. Put that in your next ad campaign. And we also don’t put up with neighboring agencies who wreak havoc in the townhomes surrounding us - no matter which agency they employ - eye opening to some who found out through us just how bad it’s getting. Because we are about true hospitality for both guests and neighbors. Some people never learn. I’m grateful for those who do. The city putting its foot down is a step in the right direction. That’s the Hostess City I’m talking about. I’m preaching to the choir for those who also live in highly touristic Airbnb towns. It’s all about balance & talk about an act... On that note, the opposite of a mark of hospitality, a book reviewer should never have to be described by a reviewed writer as one who “incorrectly states some facts and omits others.” Letter to the Editor, April/May 2019. As curious or foreign as that approach is to me (because I’d call it rude), it’s always interesting to see how folks change their tune when confronted with their own failings. Much like the vacation rental agencies in Savannah, and doubtless/countless other places... One minute it’s all about I stand by my opinions or (as last year’s reviewed writer put it) “way w-aaay off” appraisal, now it’s - to put it in the proverbial nutshell - who cares. That letter to the editor appeared in June 2018. If you write about it, you care about it. Period. I see a trend. It’s either a marketing ploy on the part of the editor to make sure The Bulletin stays a battleground, for the sake of interest, or just a game, as Mensans are fond of games.  If it was a publication for sale, controversy might help up it. However, The Mensa Bulletin is a “free” magazine that comes with membership. To put it into perspective, it’s the only freebie we mensans get, the readership is getting much older and its book reviewer is unpaid. I skim the issues infrequently and no longer use the resource as a means to get my work to a greater audience. Works I have had reviewed come out as good as my husband and I have as super-hosts. As for readability, there are far more important news outlets and infinitely more important news circulating. I agree with the WSJ article that described Mensa as more of a party club than intellectual meeting of minds (should be both) and anyone who says differently, fine, who cares, right? “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Quote from Hamlet by William Shakespeare (Denmark, anyone?) I’ll get back to that later. Let’s take the high road. Let the others wallow in the mud. Super-hosts, remember? Speaking of which, so much mud...so little time. In March of 2003, Vanity Fair published a piece called “The Talented Mr. Epstein.” It looked at his lavish lifestyle and questioned the origin of his vast fortune upon which it was based. Questionable is the operative word here. What it failed to do - and failing others is the topic - is report on the team of Jeffrey Epstein and gal pal procurer “I’m innocent to a witch” Ghislaine Maxwell. Crucible references are so apropos here. The Farmers’ accusations are among so many women’s accusations made public lately. They recounted theirs on the record long ago, but that part didn’t make the cut. Another example of bad editing. In their own words: “We decided to share our story about Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell with a writer for Vanity Fair in 2002 because telling other people what happened to us, as we had already done, did not lead to either of them being held accountable.” Accountability for one’s actions. Another mainstay of so-called professional agencies. They hoped the story would put people on alert so as to avoid other girls falling prey to their abuse. The article that ran essentially, in their own words, “erased our voices.” Among the tools of intimidation, it’s alleged,  were Epstein’s coterie of intimidating lawyers; a five figure donation to a New York Time’s reporter’s favorite non-profit; a bullet delivering a message; and - get this - a deployment of charm? What was that, surely not the alleged severed cat’s head left on the front lawn of the editor-in-chief? The world and all its charms. Charm should not be equated with buying people off. After all, we don’t live in Denmark’s autonomous region of Greenland. But it is called The Kingdom of Denmark and the King of Denmark figures into Hamlet. And our very own “King of Israel, Chosen One and Second Coming of God” tRump wanted to buy it (or if that didn’t work out, maybe trade it for Puerto Rico). Why some are asking Congress to invoke the 25th amendment, I’ll never know. Ah, sarcasm, but then what else are fools for? There’s The Crucible again. The New York Daily News has had a field day - and rightly so - with the depiction of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper turned The Last Whopper, with tRump front and center, but surrounded by cronies: VP Pence, HUD Sec Ben Carson, Education Sec Betsy DeVos, First “Lady” Melanie (done on purpose) daughter Ivanka and his boy Elroy, I mean son-in-law Jared Kushner. Meet the Jetsons, right. These people are not just other worldly...they are lost in space. As for Bernie’s thoughts on Israel taking tRump’s cues on not allowing members of Congress to visit there...even if - in the one case - Netanyahu flipped (bc of Tlaib’s grandmother)...not so fast. Banning members of Congress should come at a price - to the tune of billions in military aid. Playing fair sometimes means playing hardball. That occurs even when one is as hospitable as a super-host. Or good old Bernie Sanders. That’s an expression, not a judgment. No age discrimination, please. Some of us are not just super-hosts, we are super-agers, like Bernie and the list of candidates in the presidential line-up. For quality people everywhere, no matter what your demographic, I got one question for you... Can you spell “Misogynist,” “Xenophobe,” and “Narcissist,” because I know I can. How about let’s define charm and actually not just use it but insist on others behaving in the same way. At the end of the day, don’t ever let the narcissists or their distractions get in the way.

That’s the story of...that’s the glory of love.

 The narcissists are running our country now. You need to understand what this means. Read and share this book today! 

My Keto Case Study

I can’t remember exactly when I first began to diet. The earliest recollection I have was my freshman year in college, obviously I gained the obligatory “Freshman 15.” A girlfriend of mine was a distributor for Herbal Life — the program included shakes as well as about one million herbal pills.

At some point, I hopped on the Weight Watcher train. My Mother is a “lifer” — meaning she met her goal weight, and for the rest of eternity, will be known as a Life Long member...even if she doesn’t maintain the goal weight. My entire childhood, even until today — on the cusp of turning 40 years old — she still toggles on and off diets regularly...gaining and losing the same 20-30 pounds. We are kindred spirits with a fondness for carbs, but she prefers salty and I prefer sweets.

Over the past five years, I tried WW again, another company with shakes and pills, Whole 30, and I even made up my own program which basically included not eating any processed foods.

Before I got pregnant, I was about 20 pounds overweight. Technically, I actually “should” have weighed 40 pounds less, according to BMI algorithms, but my body has always enjoyed extra padding. I don’t think my infastructure is meant to be stick thin. Going into a process where your body willingly puts on weight in order to grow a human, and you’re already carrying extra poundage, certainly isn’t ideal.

I dropped some weight after giving birth, because said human left my midsection. Then, I’d like to think, that breastfeeding knocked off a few more pounds. Many months later, I eventually got down to the weight I started with when I was pregnant — which was — 20 pounds overweight. Sigh.

{Postpartum Photos}

In June, eight and a half months after giving birth, I stopped breastfeeding, and hadn’t worked out...not even broken a sweat...since right before giving birth. My entire pregnancy, all 41 weeks, I worked out religiously at CrossFit, and then never looked back once becoming a Mommy. This isn’t because I didn’t want to do overhead squats and crazy WODs, but because my baby didn’t sleep. I was essentially a zombie for her first year of life, while juggling and navigating postpartum depression.

Over the summer, while visiting my parents’ home, a friend from childhood came over to see my daughter and catch up. To my surprise, she dropped dozens and dozens of pounds. Our figures are very similar, we could even pass for sisters from below the neck. I was impressed by her success, and curious how she did it. Meanwhile, my Mother sat in the background at the kitchen table, overhearing our entire conversation, and decided she wanted in on the “Ketogenic” program, known as Keto.

Just like my Mom, I have historically lost weight for an event. Weddings were my go-to weight loss event, particularly when I was a bridesmaid (12 times no less). This particular time around, my Mom wanted to lose weight for a cruise she was going on in September; she went on the ship 15 pounds lighter but then subsequently didn’t stick to Keto.

For the next few weeks, after my initial talk with the successful Keto friend, I cannonballed headfirst into Google research. I consumed videos, read articles, watched more videos, and then read some more articles. After my sister’s wedding in early August, during the 13 hour drive back from New York, I spent some more time reading, and reading, and reading. It probably didn’t hurt that I also became privy to photos of me from the wedding — not only did I immediately realize I sadly no longer needed to wear nursing bras with zero support (Dear God, why didn’t anyone tell me?!?), but I did in fact need to get healthier. My body and face looked inflamed, and I was tired of not being able to wear my pre-pregnancy jeans.

I asked countless follow-up questions to my successful Keto friend, and also to another gal who lost a massive amount of weight following the Keto program (under a doctor’s supervision). I decided I was in.

My personality, at a microscopic level, is all in or nothing at all; I do not know what half-assing means. Some people call this discipline, I call it not wasting my time.

So on August 13th, I officially weighed in and measured my Mommy curves to begin the journey on a ketogenic diet. I’ve had curves since I hit puberty. I embrace them, and love that my strong legs resemble tree trunks. An hour glass figure isn’t the worst card to be dealt. So when I say curves, I just mean the extra thickkkkk curves that came with pregnancy. 

I wasn’t strict as far as counting macros, I simply counted (in my head) the number of net carbs I was consuming. That’s how my friend did it, so I figured I’d follow her lead. As it turned out, I personally needed to count my macros (ratio of protein / fat / carbs) in order to follow Keto correctly. I began using a free and easy app called Carb Manager for about two months until I got the hang of things and haven’t used it since because now I know what’s what.

Some people call Keto a diet, I’d like to think it’s my new lifestyle. I have absolutely no idea how long I’ll follow this lifestyle. I’m not naive enough to say for my lifetime, but it definitely isn’t going to be a shortlived stint. 

This process has been incredibly humbling at a visceral level. For starters, I am embarrassed to admit how incredibly ignorant I used to be when it came to judging things I knew nothing about. One of my best friends, who is fighting a chronic heart condition, first brought up the word “Keto” over the phone last year. I immediately snubbed the idea, exacerbated, I said, “it’s just like Atkins” (which was meant to be a negative connotation), and shut down the thought of her doing this diet. For the record, it’s not like Atkins (that program touts high protein, whereas Keto is moderate protein — this is signficant because too much protein can be turned into glucose/sugar). 

“The biggest form of ignorance is rejecting something you know nothing about.” - Wayne Dyer

The Ketogenic gurus are also hyper focused on not eating fake sugar, particularly lots of phony faux sweetners that are labeled “Keto” on the package, but are absolutely not Keto-approved because they will still spike your blood sugar levels as if you’re actually eating sugar. 

{Source: Epilepsy Foundation}

The name ketogenic means that it produces ketones in the body. (keto = ketone; genic = producing) Ketones are formed when the body uses fat for its source of energy.

Usually the body uses carbohydrates (such as sugar, bread, pasta) for its fuel. Because the ketogenic diet is very low in carbohydrates, fats become the primary fuel instead. The body can work very well on ketones (and fats).

Ketones are not dangerous. They can be detected in the urine, blood, and breath. Ketones are one of the more likely mechanisms of action of the diet, with higher ketone levels often leading to improved seizure control. However, there are many other theories for why the diet will work.

Secondly, for as long as my temporal lobes can recall, I have been adamantly against fasting…and, I’m not exactly sure why. Again, just another position I claimed with literally zero education or facts. My husband, for years and years, suggested I workout while fasting. I swore to him that I would fall flat on my face if I ever tried such an absurd strategy. 

Since I have been a devout low calorie follower, I’ve been chronically hungry. I was brainwashed to believe, with most of America, to have Fatphobia. I drank skim milk, which has a lot of sugar. I ate low fat packaged snacks, which were packed full of sugar. I ate mini meals all day long, 6 times a day. In other words, I was spiking my insulin all day long. My purse was always, without fail, full of munchies. Protein bars, crackers, apples, and a myriad of other nibbles. I would not, could not, leave my house without emergency food within arm’s reach. God forbid I got hungry and immediately turned hangry. Come to think of it, I was basically a 5′4″ child who was, at any given time, on the verge of a meltdown from being ravenousness. I didn’t quite realize it, but I was starving myself, and yet ironically, still overweight.

When I started Keto, my motivation was weight loss. But, what’s fascinating, is learning that weight loss is actually a side effect. The Ketogenic diet was originally designed for people who suffered from epilepsy and helped control their seizures. Ketogenic eating has been known to decrease inflammation in the body, eliminate diseases such as diabetes or heart conditions, sleep issues, GI troubles, and the resolution list goes on and on. 

What I’ve learned is that our bodies have 2 primary sources of fuel — glucose  (sugar / carbs), and fat. When you eliminate or greatly reduce glucose / sugar / carbs, your body will eventually start to burn fat for fuel. Luckily, I have a tremendous amount of excess fat that’s been waiting for an intevention. 

There is an enormous amount of misinformation ‘out there’ about eating Keto, and I am the first to admit I was super skeptical before I did my homework. 

Keto can get a bad rap for eating unlimited bacon, cheese, and bacon cheeseburgers. The other night, while out to eat with a group of ladies, for an appetizer I had a wedge salad (which includes veggiesc and crumbled blue cheese), and for dinner I had broccoli, asparagus, and a delicious steak. I put a little bit of real butter on my veggies. Also, the table enjoyed an array of desserts and not only did I not partake in the sugar fix, I didn’t even want any / I didn’t feel like I was missing out. In my past carb-laden life, I plunged my spoon into the dish first, and shoveled the brownie and ice cream into my pie hole as fast as I possibly could. There are varying versions of keto, that range from “dirty” to “clean.” When you eat dirty Keto, that’s what has given the program an unhealthy shadiness reputation on the streets. I fall in line closer to the cleaner side of keto, but have my dirty moments, and always eat organic, nitrate-free, etc. whenever possible. Oh and for the record, I usually drink one glass of red wine with my dinners. I may have lost weight, but I haven’t lost my damn mind. I draw the line at giving up my vino, that’s non-negotiable, and more importantly — I’ve been able to stay in ketosis. And yes I eat a small serving of fruit from time to time, berries are the best option and happen to be my favorite. 

Because every one is different, literally and metaphorically, results vary. My personal journey was that I shrunk in size, but the scale didn’t have impressive numbers to show for my effort. 

Come October, on the same day that my daughter turned one year old, I joined a gym. By that time, I had two months of Keto under my belt. Since I was a CrossFit junkie for 3 years pre-baby, I had to check my ego at the fitness facility’s door and slowly take it one day at a time. Besides picking up a baby thousands of times, I really hadn’t moved a muscle in 365 days. My body went through an enormous metamorphosis after making a little person, and I knew in my bones that I truly had to ease my way back into a safe grove. I sat down with a registered nurse at the gym and she did a body mass analysis using a machine that can calculate your composition make-up. 

This is where my self-fulfilling prophecy manifested, in the form of a personal case study. During college, I sucked at all things math, but ironically I was a wanna-be wizard at statistics. I got a B+ and until this day, I live for stats. With this documented analysis, I was stoked to have a baseline for my Keto journey that was more than just a generic number on a scale. Sure, I have baggage with the God foresaken scale, but now I truly know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the scale does not tell the whole story. 

Next up, I went to my Primary Care Physician’s office and had blood work drawn, along with a physical exam. I would also use these clinical insights as a foundation for improving my health, as well as proving that this way of eating is in fact healthy and not destroying my heart or other organs, or jacking up my cholesterol. 

Come January, I started to dabble in “I.T.” — intermittent fasting.

Now, when I say I’ve done my research, I mean an absurd amount of research. For almost a decade, my profession has been based in the medical field, so I’ve become a wee bit snobby when it comes to peer reviewed, scientific-based information. Blogs and anecdotal banter do not hold a candle in my book; I want facts, documentation, and proof. I want real stories from real people. I want lab work and the truth.

From mid-October through today, I’ve worked out on average about 4 times a week for one hour at a time. I joined a gym that has a daycare and now the sun shines a little brighter. My mini me gets to socialize with little people, and I get to lift weights (which doesn’t entail lifting a little person). I no longer listen to music while working out and I’ve become unapologetically obsessed with Podcasts. I realize I’m way, way behind the digital audio fad, but nonetheless I can’t get enough of them. Despite my husband’s dismay at potentially drowning my iPhone, I even listen to Youtube videos and Podcasts in the shower for goodness sake. Oprah, Tony Robbins and their leadership development peers make regular appearances, but for the most part, I’m quite literally up to my ears in Keto-related content. 

Maybe this is because I’m a real life sponge and adore the process of learning. Maybe it’s because I’ve been trained through my professional line of work that it takes listening/reading/hearing the SAME information at least 5x before you even retain a fraction of it. Who knows.

With that said, I’ve been convinced through dozens and dozens and dozens of 'classroom’ hours that intermittent fasting is a phenomenal practice for our bodies. And, if my own mad scientist research wasn’t enough, then when my friend who is currently battling breast cancer was told by her global team of physicians to do I.T. because it helps shrink those asshole cancer cells, certainly proved the point that removing sugar from our systems is a miracle worker.

I.T. comes in different forms because there are a variety of disciplines, but the most popular one is 16:8 / you don’t eat for a 16 hour window and you do eat for an 8 hour window. Within that 16 hour window, you’re sleeping for hopefully 7-8 hours of them, which basically means you don’t eat breakfast and you start your first meal with lunch. And, here’s the fun part — when you get the majority of your fuel from healthy fats, you aren’t even hungry, so fasting is actually not a big deal. Just like the rest of my journey, I worked up to this goal. I started with 12 hours, then 13, and so on.

I tried a longer fast, about 60 hours, in January. This was supposed to be some type of reset for my body. I felt like my weight loss was stalling, despite no cheats and working out. The first day was extremely difficult for me, I wanted to quit throughout the afternoon. The second day was a complete 180 degree turn — I wasn’t hungry and felt totally fine. But, I wanted to eat anyway. This experience really helped me stare my relationship with food face-to-face. I quieted my mind and asked why did I want to eat, I wasn’t even hungry. I realized that it’s the habit of eating I was used to, even if I wasn’t hungry.

Several people I know have loved ones who had gastric bypass surgery. It broke my heart to hear that there is no counseling after the fact — sure it’s available, but they weren’t utilizing it, nor was it required. And, they were back to their original style of eating and unhealthy types of food that qualified them for this surgery to begin with. 

Food can be used as a drug, just like other stereotypical vices including gambling and shopping. I know that no matter what “diet” or lifestyle change I become a VIP member to, it’s just a Band-Aid until I fix the root of the issue — using food to fill me up. I also realize that history has a way of repeating itself and I’ve walked in my Mother’s shoes, witnessing her on some type of diet my entire life.

I am approaching the 8 month mark as a Ketogenic crony, and here is where things currently stand:

I’ve lost 21 pounds. 

I’ve lost 14 inches between my hips, waist, thighs and chest.

I’ve lost 2-3 pant sizes — even fitting in to my “goal pants” (which I have never been able to zip up, including when I bought them years ago).

I weigh less than I did at my wedding four years ago.

I mentally and physically feel amazing and am rarely hungry. I repeat, I am not hungry. Eating fat is satiating...what a freaking concept (girl hits empty carb head against brick wall).

In all of my days walking this earth, no one has ever once told me that I was tiny. Last week, two people on the same evening said, “You’re tiny.” Granted, I am not tiny. In fact, I’m technically still overweight on the BMI algorithm, and according to...what I like to refer to as my Momma Kangaroo belly pouch... but that leads me to my next point.

One week ago I had my follow-up appointment with both the gym’s registered nurse as well as my PCP. I had both original tests re-run in order to determine, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was 100% healthy. Obviously being able to stowaway my maternity jeans, and have my leggings become baggy speaks for itself, but I wanted to know what was really going on behind the zippers and elastic bands.

At the PCP appointment, my provider couldn’t stop gloating about how much weight I had dropped since our last visit. The next day, an email came through with results from the blood work as a 3-page report. At the very end it says, and I quote, “Your lipid panel results are acceptable. Continue your Keto diet, it is not detrimental to your cholesterol.” 

My body composition test results were also impressive. 

BMI —from 30.2 (obese) to 27.9 (overweight)

Body Fat %: 37.2 to 35.2

Blood pressure — from 130/80 to 110/78

And what really made me jump for joy, was finding out the breakdown of my “dry lean mass” and “body fast mass.” The nutritionist, who was a skinny mini, said to me, “Your skeletal muscle mass is nearly above average. I’ve spent my whole life doing massive amounts of cardio, which is why I’m so skinny, but I should have been doing much more weightlifting and less cardio. Keep doing what you’re doing.” In other words, the stupid scale not moving exponentially and “only” losing about 20 pounds is a bunch of bologne. I legitimately have put on muscle, praise the Lord almighty. 

So there you have it folks. This is one way of getting healthy. I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely for me. I do not feel deprived, whatsoever. The food I eat is absolutely delicious, I’m satisifed after eating, and there are thousands of Keto-friendly recipes to make the process a breeze — including yummy alternative carb staples such as breads. 

I’ll sign off with a few insider tips and resources.

Drink a lot of water. People — listen to me — do this anyway. But especially if you’re doing Keto. I drink 3 liters of water a day. My goal is to drink 1 by noon, 1 by 5pm, and the rest before bed.

You’ll lose water weight and with that, electrolytes will flush out, which is why you want to replace them. Otherwise, you’ll get what’s called the “Keto Flu.” Don’t do that. Up your electrolytes (potassium, magnesium and sodium), ideally through whole foods but also in supplements (vitamins and/or electrolyte drinks). By eating Ketogenic-friendly foods, your body won’t get as much of this as it normally would and balanced electrolytes make you feel awesome. 

Don’t be scared of veggies just because they have carbs. Veggies are good for you, really really good for you and have tons of fiber. They’re not all created equal of course, but enjoy your greens every single day.

I don’t recommend starting out with Keto-style desserts / sweets or Keto breads. You can work those into your meals later on, once you’ve gotten fat adapted (Google what that means), but they should be considered a treat and not a staple in your everyday regimen. 

Check out these links for Dr. Fung —all things Intermittent Fasting — and Dr. Berg for all things Keto and nutrition. 

You don’t have to do this in order to follow Keto, but I have enjoyed drinking exogenous ketones for the last few months. I drink it as my “pre workout” drink or while I’m working out. It gives me lots of energy and all the benefits of ketones. I have a customer referral code if anyone would like it.

This may be the first time, in all of my diet dabbling years, that I’ve ever truly faced why I treated food like medication. It’s also the first time I’ve ever tried to lose weight and it wasn’t for an event. 

I’m turning 40 years old this summer and we may consider giving my daughter a sibling, if that’s what the good Lord wills. My ‘event’ milestones with a dress size to fit into has been replaced with the lifelong milestone of being a Mother. I want to be a confident woman who my daughter looks up to and admires my health from the inside — out. I want her to know that food is for nutrition, not for stuffing feelings down. I want her to know that the scale doesn’t define her worth. I want her to know that muscles and strength is sexy. I want her to know that she’s perfect exactly the way she is. 

Okiko the Fairy Pred

Basic Concept: A tiny insect alien fairy girl with the ability to gulp down anything she can kiss; the ultimate tiny pred girl!

Species: Unnamed insect-like fairy species from an isolated world that has been retroactively called Igbolan; these apex predators are survivors of an ancient cataclysm that reduced their civilization to pre-Stone Age status, but they have rebuilt over the ages and had achieved a technology state on par with the Industrial age, with basic electronics, prior to her leaving the planet.

Height: Approximately six inches tall.

Appearance: Imagine a fairy, the classic image. A tiny humanoid, likely super cute, with a pretty little dress and glittery wings. Now, imagine that… and forget pretty much all of it except the most basic image because she is actually an insect-like being with no apparent connection to the Fae.

She fits the look, admittedly. Her thick and super short stacked body is covered in black chitin that glistens in various colors against the light, with bipedal legs able to support her body and resemble the legs of a grasshopper, but adjusted for biped stance. She is extremely thick, several times wider than she is tall, almost a foot and a half across with sheer curve volume, with massive breasts massing nearly as much as her entire body (and producing a sweet sugary substance), and a equally massive butt. She has a belly big and plump enough that it stretches past her chitin, a lighter color than the rest of her.

Her face is cute, with multiple eyes, and extremely large, luscious lips that dominate her face and make up the bulk of her sensory organs. Do not let her kiss you. It’s a bad idea. While she has no hair, a cluster of antenna around a primary pair gives something like hair.

She has not just one pair of wings, but dozens, perhaps over a hundred or something in between there; they grow in many rows from the back of her head all the way down to her chins, each set larger than her and beating furiously with a helicopter effect. These wings are beautiful and glittering, shining gorgeously, and resemble stained glass. They also give her an impressive turn of speed.

She’s become something of a fashionista and likes to wear random objects as clothing; scraps of flat as a sash, bottle caps for boob covers, or ‘clothing’ herself in stolen jewelry. Her chitin is no less decorated, painted in vibrant and beautiful patterns that might make a biologist reminded of venomous animals that have bright colors to warn predators of the danger.

Backstory: Originally from a very obscure world forgotten by surrounding systems, her people lived in peace and tranquility as they recovered, tending to their jungle and delicately maintaining it, harvesting it and feasting upon every single thing that lived in it the instant they felt even slightly peckish. These fairies possess the unusual power of swallowing whole anything they can press their mouths to, instantly gulping it down into their infinitely expanding bellies. A natural glutton, Ikiko was content with this to the day she saw the sky come down.

A ship crashed, carrying a traveler from across the stars who rampaged through the jungle in a hissy fit, only stopped with Ikiko swallowed her whole in self defense. This invader, Yatruiga, was brought back to her village and in her recovery over the years, told the people there about how things had changed in the multiverse over the ages. Ikiko was entranced, eager to see the galaxy, and incidentally wanted to sample all the delicious two-leggers walking about up there!

Since then she’s become Yatruiga’s best friend and rival, acting as something of a calming influence on the cantankerous warmonger.

Personality: Take a magpie, make it sapient, and set it loose on a multiverse where everything is VERY INTERESTING and new; you have the basis of Ikiko! She’s a deeply inquisitive, massively curious and impulsive gal, with all the self control of a crow that’s been tossed into a shiny thing factory.

She’s even prone to stealing random things, on the basis of ‘i want it, therefore it is mine’, and places where she goes tends to have random things vanish, and show up again on her person or in her various hidey holes.

She’s not a bad person, nor is she cruel. Her recklessness means that she really doesn’t think things through, which is ironic considering that she is the calming voice of moderation between her and Yatruiga. The distinction between them is that Ikiko rushes into things after she takes time to consider them, and while she is bad at consequences, she simply doesn’t have a ‘stop now maybe’ button.

One of her faults is that she’s still hazy on the distinction between ‘animal’ and ‘being’. She will happily gobble up humans, orcs and anything else in a single swallow as she would a rampaging monster or livestock, without any second thoughts or hesitation. Her people were the only sapients on her homeworld, and their outlook on the world has lead her to view other beings as ‘animals that can talk’; people, yes, but not fundamentally different. She eats animals, so why not the ones who talk?

A glutton and gourmand, she regards her travels across the multiverse as an excuse to snack on everything, and she intends to sample at least one of every being in the cosmos, and this suggests a more hedonistic aspect of her personality in general. She wants to enjoy life, and doesn’t care much about success or personal ambition. She even has rather cynical outlooks on ambition as a concept, deeming it a zero sum game that’s just wasting time when you could be having fun.

She is also very practical and pragmatic, with no real room for sentimentality. When she sees a jungle burning down, she thinks of the ecological devastation and problems this will pose for the inhabitants, but she won’t cry for the despoling of nature, because she wouldn’t understand or care about what that even means. This somewhat grim outlook explains a lot of how she thinks.

However you may not realize this at first glance. She is very bubbly, excitable and friendly, with a somewhat airheaded way of talking (“OH MAH GOSH YOU GUYS! CHECK THIS THING I FOUND OUT! ISN’T THIS SHINY JUST THE SPARKLIEST!?”) all full of exclaimations, run-on sentences and overflowing excitement at everything, forever. Her default mood is just immense pep!

Fandom: Original character! Her influence maps to general notions of fairies as ‘not nice, but not malicious’ archetypes, and she is heavily inspired by the original incarnation of Tinkerbell from the first Peter Pan novel.

Abilities: As a fairy, she can fly extremely fast and far, so much that she moves around like a rocket, and is ludicrously hard to pin down. She is also much stronger than her size indicates; she is weaker than a human or even a goblin would be, but she can pick up and carry large objects without much problem, and her strength increases for a short time whenever she eats, getting stronger the more she has eaten.

She’s very durable as well, about equivalent to her strength. You couldn’t stomp her, but you might be able to crush her, but that’s still a very bad idea.

For all fairies like her have the ability to swallow whole anything their lips touch, instantly sucking down the entire prey. Size doesn't matter; she has eaten things as big as humans, cars, small buildings, elephants, kaiju, giant robots and even bigger, without any problem. Her stomach will expand to fit anything she swallows. In theory she could gobble up a city, if only she thought to try it, and anything in her stomach will be digested, with the exception of tough metals and minerals. Gems would be in no fear of her, for example, and Transformers would probably find this a mild inconvenience, but to organics, it is certain doom. Digestion will happen almost instantly, and she experiences digestion as another part of the tasting process.

She will devour anyone, anything, any time, and with the emotional awareness of a flytrap grabbing its latest victim. At this point it's an automatic reflex.

While she has yet to acquire a multiverse standard education, she is learning fast, and may even be gaining the knowledge of those she consumes, or at least believes she is. In any case she has amassed a respectable amount of technical knowledge and is doing her best to learn more. However she thinks she is a lot more skilled or knowledgeable than she actually is.

Relationships: She has a wide variety of friendships and makes friends easily. She might tend to instantly gobble them up the instant she decides they look tasty, or to examine them more intimately, but she genuinely likes people… and not just in the ‘you’re delicious’ sense. Accordingly, she will quickly befriend people with ease.

She gets along well with the MILF Fleet, finding kindred spirits with them. She really doesn’t get their concerns with morality, and can find them self-righteous to her pragmatic views. Still, they’re nice ladies… but she’s worried about eating them. They seem like they might bite back.

She would probably join the Cobalts if she wasn’t already tied up with Yatruiga, relishing their carefree attitudes towards life and indifference to collateral damage. As it is, she has accepted a freelancer status with them, doing small missions on their behalf in exchange for some loot and prestige in their ranks.

Yatruiga is her closest friend and rival, the two of them constantly competing to outdo one another and denying that they really like one another. Yet at the end of the day, Ikiko knows that she is Yatruiga’s only real friend, and sticks to her in order to take care of the big goohead. Additionally, Yatruiga is very powerful and can protect Ikiko, so there is an element of self-defense involved. The two of them are growing inseparable, even just in a ‘those two people in the background making funny comments’ way.

Pred Level: Extremely high. She will eat anyone and anything, and she will eat them at any time without a second thought or awareness of timing. She’s not a random eater, and regards it as fine dining; she likes exotic, interesting meals, not random fare she could anywhere! She loves fighting monsters for this reason, since they are all unique and totally interesting wonders. Horrible murderous brutes and abominations, but tasty ones. Note that her rating is partly due for how easy it is for her to eat someone; all she has to do is lock her lips around them, suck, and they area inside her stomach and already digesting. Due to her extreme speed, agility and small size, this makes her terrifyingly effective at devouring, though once she eats enough, she is effectively immobilized and can no longer consume unless they are foolish enough to touch her lips.

Prey Level: Fairly low. Her sheer voracity and the ease she can consume others makes actually consuming her extremely hard and pointless. To be in a position where you can swallow her, you have to be close enough for her to swallow you, and she’ll have an easier time of it. She can be eaten and has no special options, but it is very hard to see how it could happen.

Relevant Kink Material: Extreme size difference (she’s the tiny), shortstack, hyper proportions, vore (soft vore, predator), xeno monster girls.

So! This is Flynn Smith, aka an oc of mine who 1) isn’t directly based on an established canon character (nameless NPCs don’t count), 2) isn’t being “officially” used anymore, and 3) has a decent amount of story that, thanks to point #2, I’m just gonna casually write out to the best of my memory. Buckle up, kiddos, it’s time for DUMP! THAT! INFO!

pre-TFE

The earliest version of Flynn was “unnamed grunt C” and... I kinda forget what his original purpose was, actually. But he was supposed to be a stereotypical charmer, voted most likely to fanboy over Team Flare to the end of his days. At some point he picked up the placeholder name Casey, then Adrian/Adrien (never managed to get the a/e consistent), and the surname Smith. Surname was also supposed to be a placeholder but it was so perfectly generic it stuck.

I’d need to revisit <2016 versions of the storyline to know for certain what he did, but he was a one-scene wonder. More on that below.

If you have no idea what TFE is, the short version is that it’s a Pokemon XY-based “nuzlocke” comic that ran strongly 2016-2017, petered out, and has been sorta-kinda canceled. I don’t intend to pick it back up in its current state, but I would like to publicize as much as I had planned as possible. Someday. Eventually. Because why not.

Said plans weren’t 100% solid start to finish, hence the uncertain status of various developments.

The Firebird Effect

This constitutes of a majority of Flynn’s development, including his current name--and I’d be lying if I said he didn’t get a significant amount of character development courtesy oc chats with @phyllored. At first he was still a one-scene wonder, and then he took over roles that grunts A or B would’ve filled. As of the “final” version of the plot he had 2 scenes set in stone and a few ideas that may or may not have made it onscreen.

His first appearance might have been during a “filler” scene around Route 8/Cyllage City. As the main characters move out, focus swings over to him, as he ignores his girl of the week in favor of an “emergency” text from the head of Team Flare*. The text informs recruits that a recent incident at Glittering Cave was unplanned, and anyone with information is encouraged to divulge ASAP. Furthermore, in an effort to repair public impression of the Team, an awareness memorial--

*For what it’s worth, Team Flare got a major overhaul in TFE, and later got renamed entirely as the Fleur Foundation. It warrants an infodump of its own, probably, but for clarity’s sake I’ll use “Team Flare” exclusively here.

The girl interrupts to declare she’s done. Close curtain on the redhead begging for her back.

-

Flynn’s first major appearance (and originally his only scene), still as an unnamed Flare recruit, is on Route 10. Unlike the previous scene, he’s in full uniform now, and is one of several grunts standing among the ancient stones. Most are paying tribute to the monuments in some way, with a few trying to get the attention of passerby; Flynn is easily the most enthusiastic of the latter.

Serena enters the scene shortly after strife with her pokemon encourages her to double down on not battling, which has led to deeper investigation into Flare’s true motives. She approaches Flynn at random and barely has time to get her “research project” story out--he’s thrilled to have an audience. (See first image, middle right doodle.) He explains that Flare and only Flare remembers that these rocks aren’t just mysterious tourist attractions, among other factoids from the mission briefing, all the while getting much too close for comfort.

When Serena finally tries to excuse herself, Flynn recognizes her from reports on the Glittering Cave incident and buckles down on keeping her around. The encounter is intercepted by a figure in a trenchcoat, who grills Flynn and pulls Serena aside. He insists he was only informing a curious youth, ma’am, no issue! The scene changes with Flynn moving to the next hapless tourist.

-

Less a scene and more a canon occurrence that may or may not have been onscreen: at a Lumiose cafe (not named Lysandre but sponsored by him, as indicated by background details), Flynn discusses Team Flare’s recent mishaps with his roommate and (on Flynn’s end) close friend Ren. (This got drawn ages ago, albeit with meme dialogue.) He’s pissed that the Team he considers family has started going to shit, between the Glittering Cave incident leading to several arrests and other rumors of a secret group within the group. Furthermore, no one seems to actually care about this; the rumor mill churns and the oldies roll their eyes, but no one’s willing to do a damn thing about it. But fear not! He has a lead, and he’s gonna check it out first chance he gets.

Ren, who’s working behind the counter, is silent throughout. Flynn pays no mind to their lack of response.

-

Within the week, half of Lumiose City goes black, including the area with Ren's apartment. Flynn is gone, but he left a note saying he’s gonna check it out. Ren turns on the radio and is caught up to speed: At the Power Plant in Lumiose Badlands, uniformed members of Team Flare have taken workers hostage and are refusing authorities entry. They claim they’ll surrender without resistance as soon as the lights go on.

Serena is one of several forming a crowd around the Power Plant when she receives an anonymous note: “Meet me [nearby, setting pending] or your secret will be MINE alone no longer ;)”

Surprise, it’s Flynn, and though he’s grinning he is infuriated. He ignores questions and dumps his backstory: once upon a time he was an everyday office worker, and then his boss was murdered and he got framed because he got mad at her the day before, the bitch. But rather than waste away in prison, he found his saving light in Team Flare. No, they’re not a cult--the Team takes in those who society has rejected and transforms them into someone beautiful. And despite recent mishaps, they are certainly not criminals--not that Serena can judge.

Serena’s not the only one who can do research. Flynn knows she was not only present the night of the mine collapse, right below Vaniville, but caused its downfall.

Major plot hole alert: I never figured out exactly how Flynn learned this. The cafe scene might have provided some insight, but eventually this was sorta-remedied (among other unrelated issues) by merging Flynn and Ren’s characters. Again, another tangent for another time. Point is, he knows the Dark Secret, and Serena is not happy.

Neither is Flynn, of course. His smile drops as he says someone very close to him died in that little “incident,” and he would be very happy to see Serena dead. Throughout the scene he has her cornered both verbally and physically, and at this point her back’s against a wall/cliff/[other relevant setting detail]. (See top image, 2017 doodle.)

However! Flynn is a forgiving person. Even though she actually killed people, he’s associated with worse. That’s the beauty of Team Flare--they don’t care who you are, just who you can become. And you, Serena Johnson, would fit right in. Flynn bemoans the current state of the Team, then reveals he called Serena here not to attack but ally with her. Between the mine and other disasters she’s participated in, surely she knows something he doesn’t.

Serena, to put it nicely, fucking hates this proposal. She sics her team on Flynn, though they hesitate upon realizing Flynn has no pokemon of his own; he can’t put up a fight. Serena flees for the Power Plant, and the team follows; Flynn is left shaken, maybe incapacitated, but still alive.

-

Flynn probably should’ve had a scene or at least mention between that and the following sequence, but nothing was developed. Jumping forward a few days, Flynn is next seen back in the cafe, specifically above it--the cafe is the bottom floor of a nameless skyscraper. He and Ren are patrolling the building as night security guards--not their usual jobs by a long shot, but the Team is having issues and someone’s gotta do it.

As the doodle sequence above may indicate, this... does not end well. Flynn loses track of Ren at some point, and by the time he catches up, he finds the space doused in gasoline. When he opens the door, he’s greeted to a wave of flame as the building is set ablaze.

R.I.P. Flynn Smith 199x-2013.

current status

As mentioned above, Flynn and Ren’s characters were eventually combined, but they’re distinct enough to not get scrapped entirely--or at least Flynn is. Other characters have picked up many of Ren’s traits by now, but Flynn still has his niche as token straight white dudebro with a flair for the dramatic.

Which brings us to the present day, where Flynn is... dubiously involved in that one side story I keep posting about that still needs a got dang name. I say “dubiously” because a LOT of this story is under heavy construction, and while I’ve definitely been entertaining the idea of his involvement, it’s not super likely he’ll be central--if he stays in at all. But who knows, stuff’s changing.

For all intents and purposes:

He meets Nico (ponytail dude, see last doodle) and they’re, like, not gay at all, man. Flynn is screaming #NOHOMO the whole time.

Actually, Flynn is interested in Nico primarily for Nico’s girlfriend. Flynn does not get to see Nico’s girlfriend often and that makes Flynn sad, but at least Nico’s fun to hang around. (Nico’s girlfriend seems to hate Flynn’s guts, actually. She seems to hate everyone’s guts. Flynn is not dissuaded.)

The Flynn/Nico introduction may or may not take place 1) at a gay bar, 2) courtesy mutual friend Ava (ringlets gal), and 3) with Flynn not having lost a trace of his TFE-era “hello stranger, let me tell you about my life and problems!” chattiness. Nico could not give less of a shit but at least someone’s filling the silence.

miscellaneous factoids

Flynn’s hairstyle is modeled after the Team Flare logo, right down to the weird split sideburns. It also happens to realistically look like fucking Cr1TiKaL. This was a recent realization, again courtesy phyllored, and I’m still not over it.

Yes, it’s dyed that orange. This... may or may not stay; no Flare, no reason to pick that hue. It feels so Iconic(TM) but I should probably get used to his natural brown.

His original height was 6′00″ (to parallel Serena, who’s 5′00″) but nowadays it’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I never did develop that close friend of Flynn’s who died in the mine. Flynn and Ren’s relationship, however, has gotten significant development. Which is a bit of a shame because Ren is kinda more of a beta [merged guy] than their own character at this point, but no one aid I can’t recycle dynamics, too.

His voiceclaim is Ivan Alexander from the game Bully. There used to be a video of all Ivan voiceclips on YouTube but it seems to have been deleted and this makes me sad. Thankfully I have a copy of the audio saved; part of it can be heard in this old animation.

For all his shittalk, Flynn could never actually kill someone. If he could be summed up in one word it would be “fake.”

Midwinter Homecoming (1/1)

Summary: Cressida Jones loves spending Christmas with her family. When her father admits that Christmas isn’t really his favorite holiday, Cressie does everything she can to make sure that her dad has the best Christmas ever. 

Rated G. 3.5k words. (ao3).

This is my second and final gift to my best gal, @hencethebravery. Alana, as you know, I completely tricked you and I loved every second of it! I promise I will spend the next years of our friendship not tricking you, but loving and supporting you! I hope you enjoy this fic, where I tried my hand at writing the voice of a ten-year-old girl. 

Cressie Jones was meticulous in everything she did, but if there was one skill she hadn’t mastered in her ten years of life, it was patience. The young girl had plans, and she would see them through even if she had to battle ten dragons to have her way. Sometimes her parents were just as frustrating, but at least they were more willing to compromise. In Cressie’s experience, dragons were even more impatient than she was, and she hadn’t found the right fireproof clothes to confront them about it yet.

She also fancied herself to be fairly self-reliant, just like her mom. If her plans worked out the way she expected they would, she would grow up to be just like Emma Swan, best mom in the world and super-awesome Savior of Storybrooke. At the very least, Cressie wanted a cool, lengthy title for herself. What good was having a pirate captain as a dad if he couldn’t even give her a cool name? She liked “Cressida Jones, Terror of the Atlantic”, but she also didn’t want to scare away all the kids at school, so maybe she could settle for “Cressida Jones, Protector of the Atlantic”. She did belong to a family of heroes, after all.

A family of heroes that she couldn’t wait to have over at her big house for the holidays! Christmas Eve dinner was a big deal at the Swan-Jones-Mills-Nolan household, where Grandma would come over with way more food than they could possibly eat, and Regina would bring her famous apple pie, and it would take half the night to convince everyone it wasn’t poisoned. Plus, Henry was coming back from college and that meant that Cressie could finally kick his butt in a good ‘ol game of cards. Their mom always pulled out these sugared apple scented candles that she’d light with a swoop of her hand. It was Cressie’s job to pick out the music, a task she mastered over the years. No one could create a Spotify playlist quite like she could, because no matter how far they were in the evening, the music always matched the mood. By the time everyone left, Cressie’s heart always felt so full she could burst, and they’d cap the night off by watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town. The next morning she’d wake up to the smell of Grandpa’s pancakes and scurry down the massive staircase to find that Santa really had come. It was perfect.

That’s why Christmas was her favorite holiday. And mom’s, and Henry’s!

But what about dad’s? Had anyone ever even asked him if he even liked Christmas?

“You alright there, duck?” her mom asked. Cressie broke out of her daze, glanced down at the cookie in her hands, and groaned. She must have zoned out to another realm, because the cookie she was supposed to be icing was covered front and back in sticky, sweet pastel frosting. It looked like the Grinch with its chunks of green frosting practically dripping off of the drowning cookie. Not only that, but she somehow had managed to get it all over her hands and shirt, too. There was no way she could present this atrocity to her family tomorrow. The only thing to do was take one for the team. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She’d have to eat the monster cookie herself.

Shoving the cookie into her mouth, Cressie mumbled, “I’m a nutcase.”

“Come on, Cress, you can do better than that. You gotta go for something more season appropriate,” Henry said, his pristinely decorated cookies spread out around him. “How about a nutcracker?”

“How does that even make sense?” Cressie scoffed, wiping the frosting from her lips.

“I wouldn’t worry about her being a nutcracker until she starts saving damsels in distress from manlike rat soldiers.” Cressie spun around to see her father in the doorway kicking off his boots. He smiled at the scene of his family covered in sprinkles and frosting, and padded over to see their handiwork.

Cressie jumped off of her stool and barrelled into her dad’s arms. She didn’t even have to ask where he’d been, the scent of sea salt still lilting off of his leather jacket. In her dad’s arms was one of the safest places to be. The other place, was of course, her mom’s arms. He pressed his lips to the top of her dark hair, then leaned over a bit to kiss his wife.

“Hello my loves,” he greeted, peeling Cressie off of him. “Smells heavenly in here. Did you make any for me?”

“Only if you plan on icing them yourself,” Henry warned, shielding his creations from his step-dad’s grabby hook. Cressie watched as her dad rolled his eyes, but his mock annoyance soon melted into a cocky smirk.

“I hope you have prepared yourself to be definitively shone up by your own step-father, lad. I’ve quite honed my cookie icing skills over the last few years.” He winked over at Cressie. “That is, with the help of my talented daughter.”

“I don’t care how much you guys compete against each other, as long as I can put out semi-presentable sugar cookies for my family tomorrow,” Cressie’s mom said, sliding a few bare cookies across the table to her husband. “Less provoking, more icing, please.”

Cressie jumped right back into work, going about her creation with a renewed sense of focus and heightened attention to perfection and detail. Henry would not be the sibling getting the compliments for his cookies this year. She’d help make this Christmas way more perfect than last Christmas, and the Christmases before it too.

All her focus flew out the window and into the mounds of snow outside when she remembered what had been bothering her earlier.

“Daddy,” Cressie called out. He looked up, curious as to why she was interrupting him halfway through his story about his day at work.

“Yes, darling?”

“Is Christmas your favorite holiday?” she asked very seriously. After all, this Christmas’ perfection was mounting on his answer to this simple question. If her dad was the odd one out, she’d have to make him like Christmas just as much as the rest of them. Otherwise, he’d be left out!

“I love Christmas,” he answered carefully. “It’s one of the few times during the year that the entire family can put everything on hold and come together for a few days.”

“But is it your favorite?”

Cressie waited in anticipation as her dad considered his answer.

“No, but it’s a close second.” Cressie’s jaw dropped. She dropped the icing covered butter knife in her hands and slammed her hands on the table.

“What could possibly be better than Christmas?!” she exclaimed. Was it Valentine’s Day, because he always insisted on doting on his wife? Or was it Thanksgiving because of all the food? She wouldn’t even entertain the idea of it being something ridiculous like…like…Groundhog Day.

“Well, there was a holiday in the Enchanted Forest that used to happen around this time of year. We called it the ‘Midwinter Homecoming.’ It was one of the few holidays that lasted the test of time. I celebrated it with my brother hundreds of years ago, and it’s still celebrated today, I imagine.”

Cressie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She shoved her cookies over to her brother, and then sprinted off toward her room.

“Cressida, where you going?” her mom called, but Cressie didn’t answer.

She had two days to figure out how to make Christmas her dad’s favorite holiday, and time was already ticking.

*

It was hopeless. This was new levels of desperate, useless, completely and utterly impossible. Cressie wasn’t Cindy Lou Who. She had no idea how to make Christmas better than it already was. Her Google search history was littered with questions like, “How do I make my dad like Christmas most?” and “What the heck even is a Midwinter Homecoming?” and “Is a Midwinter Homecoming really better than Christmas, or is that just fake news?”

She was neck deep in her research when Henry peered over at the screen, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Why are you so worked up about this?” he asked, then he shifted so he was half sitting on her computer desk. “You do realize that not everyone celebrates Christmas, right? Some people celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, and there’s even more than that. That’s why we sometimes say Happy Holidays. Because there’s more than just one.”

“But we celebrate Christmas. I want him to like it just as much as we do.”

Henry thought this over for a few seconds. Then, a smile spread on his lips, the same one that he got whenever he had a clever idea. He leaned in close, and Cressie practically vibrated with the need to know his idea.

“You want to know what’s better than celebrating one holiday?”

“Yes,” she hastened. Henry paused for dramatic effect, and Cressie resisted the urge to strangle him.

“Celebrating two.”

*

Cressie Jones was meticulous in everything she did, and there was a lot to do. In between wrapping presents for her family, finishing up hanging candy canes on the tree, and of course, picking out the perfect christmas CD, she also had to find time to sneak off to the library. Having the librarian as an aunt certainly didn’t hurt, either. All it took was one (half begging) phone call to auntie Belle, and suddenly she had an appointment to do all the research she wanted.

Snowed in at the library, Cressie surrounded herself with piles of old texts. The stale smell of the pages seeped into her clothes and hair, and a thin layer of dust settled on her like a musty blanket. She didn’t mind, though. Her focus was fixed on the smudged words within the books, lengthy and difficult to understand. It didn’t help that her father’s favorite holiday appeared to be a rare one, and the only hint she could find was that it seemed to be a sailor’s holiday. Feeling defeated, Cressie dumped a bunch of books on the circulation desk and slammed her forehead on the top of the pile. This was hopeless.

“Why don’t you look in some of the old journals in the archives?” Belle suggested. “I think there’s some written by sailors?”

“There are journals in the archives?” Cressie exclaimed. That was it! Sailors were known to be just as thorough as she was. She knew that for a fact because, well, she lived with one. A sailor’s precision was where her own meticulous nature originated from. By the end of her library visit, she’d read half a dozen journals and finally found what she was looking for.

Now, all that was left was to get mom’s help.

Cressie found her mom wrapped in a scarlet towel in her bathroom. She was halfway through combing her damp hair when Cressie burst in, notepad and pen in hand. Her mom startled at the sight of her, and then gave a half annoyed glare.

“I know we taught you how to knock,” she chided, turning her attention back to the mirror.

“This is an emergency.”

“An actual emergency or a Christmas emergency?”

“A Christmas emergency is an actual emergency, Mom!”

“Of course,” Emma said, a hint of sarcasm reaching her voice. She dropped the comb on the counter and moved into her bedroom with Cressie scurrying behind her. A slight trace of Emma’s floral shampoo reached Cressie’s nose as she walked by, and Cressie made a mental note to sneak in and steal some for herself one day.

“Momma, it’s just that - hey, are you actually listening? - Christmas is tomorrow and all the stores are already closed, but I finally figured out what I needed in order to make Dad’s christmas perfect!”

“How? Did you ask him?” Emma asked, sliding into some red flannel pajamas.

“Well, no, but I went to the library and read some journals by a bunch of sailors! Dad’s favorite holiday is a sailor’s holiday! It’s when the men out at sea would come back to shore when the waters were too icy to sail on, and they’d drink and eat stew with bar maidens!”

Emma’s head spun to look at her ten-year-old, an incredulous look in her eyes.

“So you want me to…what, invite bar maidens to Christmas dinner tomorrow?”

“No mom, dad’s married, remember? I made a list of the must-haves that the sailors mentioned. You know, stuff that came up more than once. I was wondering if you’d help track them down.” When her mom looked like she might protest, Cressie bounced on her toes, “Please mom, Dad’s perfect Christmas is at stake!”

“Alright, alright, what do you have on your list.”

Cressie jolted, bringing her note pad up to her face and looking down at what she’d written at the library. She scrunched her nose. Her handwriting in the dark archives was horrible, and it was a good thing she knew what she was looking for already.

“Well, I was thinking we could merge Christmas and Midwinters Homecoming together, so there’s only a few things I’d need. The sailors used to hang candles in the trees, but I figured it might be easier to use some of the spare string lights we have in the attic. We could hang them tree to tree, so they wouldn’t look like Christmas trees too much.”

“Okay, those we have. Keep going.”

“Well they drank, a lot, but I was thinking we could make hot chocolate to keep us warm, and you and dad could put rum in yours like you always do.”

“Not always.”

“And there’s dancing, of course. I’ll sacrifice myself and stand in the stead of the bar maidens. Don’t worry, I already picked out the music.”

“Please don’t go around telling people you’re a bar maiden, alright?”

“And last of all there’s supposed a big bonfire that you make stew over. But we can just make soup in the house and bring it outside in mugs or bowls or something.”

“Is that all?”  

Cressie pursed her lips.

“Well, no, but the rest of it isn’t exactly family appropriate.” Emma frowned and waved her hand.

“I don’t want to know.” She paused. “That all sounds like stuff we could do.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure, why not? I think your dad will appreciate that you went to all the trouble.”

Cressie jumped up, hugging her notebook to her chest. Then, she remembered that this was a serious matter, turned to her mother, gave a stern nod, and sprinted off to the attic to find the spare fairy lights.

Of course, when she was out of sight, she did her favorite victory dance. Fist pumps and all!

Ah, she loved it when things fell into place!

*

Christmas morning was so much fun, she almost forgot about Midwinter Homecoming. Almost. Santa had come directly on schedule, and had paid special attention to Cressie’s presents. Grandpa’s pancakes were way better than normal, because he let her put chocolate chips in the batter and on top. Plus christmas tree sprinkles! And Grandma bought her the boots she’d been ogling at a few weeks ago.

“Now you can look like your mom!” Cressie could not have been more thrilled.

She could still remember the anticipation she felt as her brother carefully tore into the present she got him, a new leather journal for his new passion of poetry.

“Thanks duck,” Henry said with a smile. He scooped her up into his arms and peppered kisses into her hair. “You’re not half bad sometimes.” Cressie shirked herself from her brothers arms, and scurried over to her new boots, anxious to see if she really would look like her mom with them on.

“Cressie, come here,” Killian called. She hurried and zipped the boots up along the sides, then plopped next to her dad. “I have something for you.”

“What is it?” she said, awed eyes looking at the flawless wrap job of the long, narrow box placed in her lap.

“Why don’t you open it and see?” So she did. Unlike her other presents, which she tore apart with anxious fingers, she carefully removed the tape from the package and pulled the box from the glossy, snow colored paper. Biting her lip, she lifted off the lid of the cardboard box, and gasped.

“It’s a spyglass,” she mumbled to herself. It wasn’t much unlike her dad’s, but it reflected a radiant golden sheen, and didn’t have two hundred years worth of stains and scratches on it.

“I wanted to get you a small knife for your new boots, but your mom wouldn’t let me, so I chose this instead. This way, whenever you look for me, you’ll always be able to see and find me.”

“I can be a pirate hero just like you!” she realized, meeting his eyes with excitement.

“Aye, that you can.”

And it was at that particular moment that she realized she had some last minute Midwinter Homecoming preparations to complete. When her face dropped into horror, Killian startled.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I almost forgot the most important present of all! I’m a total nut!” She hopped off the couch, yanked her checklist from one of the nearby drawers, and practically sprinted toward the back door. She was nearly out of sight when she yelled, “Don’t look at the backyard!”

“Don’t hurt yourself out there, Miss Nutcracker,” Henry called as the door slammed shut.

*

She counted down from five, took a deep breath, and removed her hands from her dad’s eyes. This was it.

“So…What do you think?” Cressie asked.

Killian took a few steps forward, standing at the edge of the back patio. He leaned over the railing and looked at the lights hung in the trees. The ginormous bonfire burned tall and bright, and at a safe distance, Cressie had set up the crockpot of Grandma’s chicken stew and three big thermoses of hot chocolate.

“Dad?” Cressie asked again. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Is this…” He trailed off, looking from his daughter back to the scene before them. “Is this Midwinter Homecoming?”

“Am I in trouble if it is?” Cressie looked back at her mom, who gave her a look that said Be patient. Then Killian spun around, eyes glossy.

“Cressida, you did this?”

“Dad, I gotta tell you, you’re being a little vague right now. Do you like it?”

Then, like he flicked a switch, a grin split his face. He barreled forward, yanking her up into his arms and spun her around. Cressie squealed, dizzy from the excitement.

“I take that as a yes?”

“I love it! How did you even know to do all this?” He shook his head. “Nevermind, if anyone could figure it out, it’s you.” Cressie looked down at her toes, and Killian pushed some stray hairs out of her eyes.

“I know it’s not exactly perfect. I didn’t wanna try to put candles in the trees, because that’s a fire hazard. And I can’t buy alcohol, so I made hot chocolate instead of rum. Grandma brought some stew. It’s over there.” She paused, thinking back to see if she remembered everything.  “Oh! Also, it’d be inappropriate to bring bar maidens to Christmas dinner, so mom and I will be the maidens you can dance with.”

“No, Cressie darling, it is perfect,” he told her seriously. “Although, you did not have to go to all of this trouble just for me!”

“Everyone should get to celebrate their favorite holiday, no matter where they live. Henry said that celebrating two holidays is better than celebrating one, so that’s why we’re doing both Christmas and Midwinter Homecoming.”

“And we can do this every year if you want,” Emma added, coming up behind them. “Make it our new tradition.”

“I just wanted to make Christmas perfect for you,” Cressie finished in a quiet voice. Killian took her face in his hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“What did I do to deserve such wonderful girls?” he said, glancing from his daughter to his wife. “Cressida, you really are like your mother. I’ve yet to see you fail.”  

*

Later that night, Cressie sat in between her parents. The mug of hot chocolate in her hands warming them from the wintery chill. She could still taste the cinnamon chocolate aftertaste on her tongue, and sipped more with a smile.

“What’s got you grinning over there?” Henry asked from across the bonfire. Cressie shrugged happily. She looked at her grandparents leaning against one another, Henry and his mom sharing the same rum spiked hot chocolate, to her parents on either side of her.

This truly was the perfect Christmas, and if she wanted to outdo herself next year, she’d have to start planning tomorrow.

She couldn’t wait!