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jxstadaydreamer · 1 year

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first impressions

from this gifset by @celestyeol

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x afab reader Genre: Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff Word count: 5235

Summary: Getting back into the dating scene is tough and no one you've come across on these God-forsaken apps have caught your attention. But when one finally does, despite the fact there's an undeniable spark between the two of you and the amount of not-a-date coffee runs you've been on together, you're still too afraid to go on an official first date with him.

Author's note: Happy birthday to my one & only! 🎉 Thank you to my beloved for always proof reading my work and making sure my tenses match up! This story is an idea I’ve had for a long time after being inspired by a comment from a Reddit thread. I started it a while ago and gave up on it multiple times but I’m proud that I managed to pull through and finish it. I hope you can enjoy 💞 Feedback is always very appreciated! And if you do like it, please consider sharing it too 💞

It’s been quite a while since you were last in a relationship, your previous one had you sworn off the entire male species so you could heal your wounds and work on yourself. Of course you were a grown woman with needs and had the occasional short-lived fling here and there but now your desires had grown to something deeper and beyond bedroom activities. You began to miss having that intimate bond with a special someone. Just having another person to run silly errands with, have late night conversations about deep topics or nothing in particular, someone to marathon a tv show or try a new recipe with.

Loneliness gets to everyone, sooner or later.

You don’t want to actively, desperately seek out a partner but you have to start somewhere. And with some slightly aggressive persuasion from your friends, and your own deep dive internet research where you had found a convincing number of success stories, you decide to sign up for some dating apps. Because apparently ‘that’s how everyone meets these days!’

Now, you expected to come across some weirdos and creeps, of course, men who send one liners ranging from awfully cheesy to downright disrespectful or those who ask for your snapchat straight away because that’s where they prefer to chat, the latter being an immediate red flag to you. It wasn’t all bad however, some managed to hold some decent conversation and banter, but none that gave you that spark of interest, merely candidates for a nice chat. Proving just as much when you had agreed to a first date with some that would either be embarrassingly awkward or just lacking any chemistry whatsoever. With some even feeling entitled to some sort of exchange just because ‘they had done the gentlemanly thing of paying for your meal.’ Ugh. Over time, the hope you had to find your special someone through dating apps had waned significantly.

Enough that you almost gave up. Almost.

It’s near the end of an entirely too long work day when you receive the notification, the vibration making your eyes avert their gaze from the computer screen to the now lit screen of your phone. You notice the dating app icon, alerting you to a new match. Not feeling too giddy, you return to your work when another buzz of your phone steals your attention once again. Seeing that this time it's a message, you pick up your phone curious to see what this new match has opened with. Another pickup line? Would it be ridiculously corny or something icky? Maybe it would be the standard ‘hello beautiful, how are you?’ which was pleasant, yes, but also boring.

Instead, your eyes widen a smidgen and you sit up a little straighter. The outer corners of your lips quirk up just the slightest.

[Chanyeol]: i need to know - how do you feel about ace’s death?

You’re thinking of your reply when another message pops up.

[Chanyeol]: i’m sorry if that was random ^^” i just noticed the one piece flag and figurines in the background of one of your photos and got excited!

Wait. What? You quickly navigate back to one of your profile and notice on the 3rd image that the little nerd corner in your room had indeed been caught in one of your chosen selfies. How did you miss that? Ugh. Oh well. You also take the opportunity to tap through to his profile and refresh your memory. Damn. He’s hot. You think to yourself. Not wanting to make him wait too long, you shake your head of the thought and return to the chat screen.

[You]: hi chanyeol! it’s alright lol tbh i didn’t even notice they were in the pic. but to answer your question - i bawled like a baby.

It doesn’t take long for him to reply, and that fact alone widens the small smile that had crept onto your features.

A few dozen messages are exchanged back and forth before you look up and notice that everyone in the office has already left except for the usual suspects that liked to linger and try to earn some overtime. You look at the time and realise you could have left 35 minutes ago. Where the hell did the time go? Moving past the initial confusion, you quickly collect your belongings, heading out the building and towards the subway station.

You’re a little embarrassed to admit but you almost missed your stop. Cause? Being way too engrossed in a conversation with a man you didn’t even know 2 hours ago, discussing other events from what you now know is both of your favourite anime. You manage to walk home in record time, mindlessly throwing your things on one end of the sofa, plopping yourself down on the other and pulling your phone out to read his recent reply.

It’s only when you hear the rumble of your own stomach that you peel your eyes away from your phone screen and realise the sun has long set and you still haven't eaten a thing. Deciding it's too late to cook, and definitely not because you’re too lazy, you settle on ordering a pizza. You note the arrival time and think it’s just enough for you to hop into the shower and wash away the exhaustion the work week has given you. Turning on the water and tapping out yet another reply before you place your phone on the vanity and step inside the glass cubicle.

If you didn’t realise how much trouble you were in when you missed dinner (which was a first for you) or when you found yourself constantly glancing over at your phone screen to see if he had replied yet with ears hyper aware of the app notification alert tone any time you had to close your eyes or turn away, you definitely realise it now as you stare at the dark screen of your phone and your flustered reflection stares back at you.

Upon exiting the shower and drying your hands just enough to use your phone without dragging water droplets across the screen, you realise why there was no lighting up of the screen or notification melody sounding from your phone speaker – your phone battery was flat. What did you expect though? With the countless hours you had spent messaging back and forth, screen basically constantly lit. You quickly wrap a towel around yourself and rush to your bedside, plugging in the charger and waiting for the dark screen to light up with the logo and come back to life.

It’s in this moment that you think maybe you need to chill, afraid that you could be coming on too strong. Although, he’s reciprocating your energy too, right? Maybe, just maybe, he is just as into you as you are to him? The thought causes a fuzzy, warm, fluttering feeling in your stomach but is interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell, signalling your saviour and grace, the food delivery driver, has arrived.

As you settle down in front of the tv and turn on your comfort Netflix show that serves no purpose other than background noise to make you feel less alone, you absentmindedly shove the food into your mouth in between tapping out reply after reply. Eventually, you wash up and move to a comfier location. Snuggling into your plush sheets and chatting like lovesick teenagers until your eyes struggle to stay open and you wish eachother goodnights and sweet dreams.

You and Chanyeol continue texting each other about anything and everything throughout the day for the two weeks, exchanging social media accounts somewhere in between. You quickly find out that Chanyeol is an avid Snapchat user but in the cutest way. He would snap you things he encounters during his day – pretty flowers, the sky, cute animals, etc. – because “it makes me smile so I hope it makes you smile too.”

There was a particular snap that made your stomach hurt so much from laughing the first time you had seen it, a cheesy grin on your face anytime you recall it. Chanyeol was filming a snap of some cute goslings he’d spotted by a lake, only to be running away frantically screaming moments later because the daddy goose was chasing him away from its babies.

Every now and then you send him a gif of a goose when he gets a little smart with you.

One night, he asks if he can call you because his hands are a little tired from playing the guitar all day (Yeah, guitar. He’s a musician. That writes his own songs. These facts combined with his looks make you wonder if he’s real and if you’re being catfished), and you hesitantly agree. You hate the sound of your own voice and you’re afraid he might find it off-putting but the desire to listen to his voice trumps your insecurities in the end. It’s a decision you don’t regret. He’s such a great conversationalist that you completely forget how nervous you are in no time and the first phone call lasts til some hours of the AM.

You’re not sure when you fall asleep but you blame the comfiness of your bed and the velvet-like sound of his voice – smooth, deep and comforting. You think he may have been in the middle of telling you a childhood memory, his voice soft because of how late it was and the fondness of the story.

As you wait in line the next morning for the much needed coffee, you unlock your phone and type out a good morning text to Chanyeol, apologising for falling asleep and promising to make it up to him somehow. You also open Snapchat to snap him your current view of the coffee shop, caption wishing you could buy him a cup of coffee too to atone for your sins. You faintly hear the Snapchat notification sounding from somewhere behind you but you don’t think much of it until you hear it coming from your own phone some moments later, swiping it open to see what it could be.

You stare at your screen wondering why the floor looks so familiar and what he’s playing at when another snap comes through.

And now you definitely know why you could recognise the flooring. Because it’s the exact same view in front of you. Only his point of view was from a little further back and included you in the frane. Caption stating: someone who owes me coffee! And a sticker of an arrow pointing at your figure.

You spin around abruptly and it’s definitely hard to miss his tall stature, let alone the brightest grin you’ve ever seen on a human being currently being flashed at you. You give him a shy wave and he makes his way across the coffee shop to stand beside you. You quickly glance down at your outfit, mentally kicking yourself for choosing convenience over style and subtly try to brush the knots out of your hair with your fingers.

“Fancy meeting you here.” you can practically hear the smile in his voice and this fact is only confirmed when you literally have to look up to see him, if it was even possible for him to be smiling any bigger than he was before.

“It is..considering I’m here everyday and I’m sure I’d remember seeing you here.” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“I just moved here recently so I’m trying to find a new coffee spot… and I think I just found it.”

The way he’s looking at you brings the heat to your cheeks and you’re praying to the heavens that it’s not too obvious. You chance a peek at him and luckily he’s no longer looking at you, instead his gaze facing forward as it reads over the menu above the counter. You also notice that the huge grin is gone and is replaced with a tight lipped smile and a deep dimple. Taking advantage of the opportunity that he is seemingly, momentarily distracted by the menu options, you take in his handsome visuals. And the fact that he is actually here with you in person, quickly erasing all thoughts of you possibly being catfished because you thought he was just too good to be true.

Eventually, he makes up his mind and heads up to the counter to order an iced americano. You both sit down to enjoy your beverages and some conversation about what the day ahead entails for you before you have to head off to work. Chanyeol offers to drive you but you kindly refuse him, letting him know you actually enjoy the short walk that’s only a few blocks down. He juts his bottom lip out in a pout but nods. You can’t help but laugh at him as you wave goodbye.

As the weeks go by, you fall into a routine with Chanyeol. Meeting him for coffee in the mornings, where sometimes he would drive you if you were carrying some heavy items or he’d walk with you if he wasn’t in a rush that day, texting on and off throughout the day and talking on the phone before bedtime had advanced to video calls instead.

You had grown so comfortable with him that it was easy to share your thoughts without worrying he would judge you, whether it would be a random idea you had or just something you had come across during your day. He would either laugh about it with you or indulge in the thought with you. The comfort only made you become more smitten with him, especially since he seems to be reciprocating your every move. It never felt like you were doing too much or too little and that things were heading in a nice direction.

[Chanyeol :)]: hypothetically, how would you feel if i asked you on a date?

Usually, Chanyeol’s texts make your stomach flutter in a good way but this question, albeit hypothetical, has you feeling a little unwell. Your previous encounters with other matches on the very same app you met Chanyeol on had left you with a bad taste whenever it came to first dates. And you know you could be honest with Chanyeol and tell him exactly that but you just have to come up with a way to do so without making him think that you think he would be another one of those guys.

Typing and backspacing over and over again, you decide it’s too easy to misunderstand over text and if you video call him then you’ll end up giving into his pout. Paired with the kicked puppy look he pulls off so well? You stand no chance. So you opt for a phone call, it’s the safest option, middle ground of the other two.

He picks up the phone almost immediately.

“Hey! Is everything alright?”

“Everything is great. I, uh, just thought it’d be better to tell you this over the phone instead of texting you…”

“Oh,” he replied, coming to a realisation, “oh. Did I- Crap. Did I misunderstand something? I mean, I just thought that we- I thought you felt the same way so I- Fuck. Shit, sorry.”

“No, no no!” – you interject to bring a stop to his flustered rambling – “I do. I thought it was quite obvious but I do feel the same way.” You can feel the rosey hue blooming on the apples of your cheeks. Thank God this wasn’t a video call. Good choice Y/N. “It’s just that I had some bad experiences with first dates before I met you. Some of the guys just…weren’t that nice during or even after the date. And don’t get me wrong! I know you’re nothing like them but the fact that it’s a first date just makes me extra nervous is all. I mean, I’d like to, eventually, with you. I’m just a little scared that I might screw something up, kinda, I guess.”

You take a deep breath and slap your forehead when you realise the mess of words you had just spewed out in the span of 10 seconds.

“Wow, so articulate Y/N. Dammit I knew I should’ve just stuck with texting.” you mutter to yourself.

You hear a deep, throaty chuckle from him that distracts you from your self depricating thoughts.

“Phew!” – he exclaims dramatically – “Had me worried for a sec there. But thank you for explaining it to me. And phone call was definitely the right choice so don’t worry.” – laughing at you again – “I get it! Really! No pressure whatsoever.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Of course. But you shouldn’t have to thank me for it, isn’t it the bare minimum? Anyways, have you eaten yet?”

Damn, this guy is just so smooth with the way he steers the conversation in another direction and just ever so charming with his words and understanding nature.

It’s Saturday afternoon and after a productive day of cleaning your apartment from the mess you’ve created and neglected during the week, you sit down to enjoy some moments of peace in your now tidy space and contemplate your options for the rest of the evening. Closing your eyes and leaning your head back against the comfy cushions on your sofa.

A buzz and ding of your phone from its place on your coffee table has a smile etching its way onto your face and you sit up, reaching for it to see the name of exactly who you thought it would be on your screen.

[Chanyeol<3]: are you busy rn?

[You]: hm not rn no. what’s up?

[Chanyeol<3]: i was just about to run some errands but don’t feel like going solo. care to bless me with your company?

[You]: i mean, i don’t see how that would be blessing you but sure, i’d love to join you :)

[Chanyeol<3]: cool! i’ll pick you up soon?

[You]: sure. see you in a bit!

Shoot! You race to the bathroom, looking into the mirror and assess your mess of a situation right now. There’s no time for a shower so you opt to put your hair up into a bun for now and reach for some makeup to attempt a no-makeup makeup look, just enough to tidy yourself up and look clean and fresh.

It’s just errands right? You’d look silly if you dress up too much. You need something comfortable. Something functional but cute still. You end up in a loose tshirt tucked into a nice pair of jeans that just so happen to make your butt look good.

Your timing is perfect, slipping your sneakers on just as Chanyeol texts you that he’s outside, grabbing your bag and heading downstairs to meet him.

As you’re walking out the lobby, you can already see him across the street. He’s leaning against this huge silver SUV. He’s dressed in jeans and a hoodie but the scene looks like something out of a magazine with his tall physique, handsome face and styled hair. It’s probably a thought you have too often but it’s something you don’t think you could ever move past.

He looks up when he hears the doors of the building close as you exit and he stands up straighter, greeting you with a warm smile and a frantic wave of his hand.

“Hi!” he says as soon as you’ve crossed the street and close enough that he doesn’t need to raise his voice to be heard.

“Hey!” you return his smile, “Oh my gosh your car is HUGE! But I guess it needs to be for you to fit inside comfortably.”

He chuckles at your comment and it eases your nerves a little. He opens the door for you like a true gentleman and you climb inside, buckling yourself in as he rounds the front of the car to the drivers side.

“Ready?” he asks, turning to you with an award winning grin.

You nod happily and he turns the engine on, pulling away from the curb and towards his destination. You try to ask him where but he says you’ll see when you get there. Chanyeol turns on the radio but keeps the volume at a minimum so you can still speak comfortably to eachother.

Soon enough, he turns into the underground parking lot of a shopping mall complex and parks his car.

“What do you need to do here?” you ask him once you’re both inside the elevator taking you up to the chosen level.

“Just wait a little longer, little miss impatient. You’ll see.”

He laughs when you huff and pout your lips.

Chanyeol leads the way but you notice his long legs allow him longer strides that force you to quicken your step a little just to keep up with him. He seems to notice this though and slows himself down to a pace that's good for you both.

“So, you remember that candy you were telling me about last time? The one you said your grandma used to buy for you when you little and you can’t find anymore?”

You nod slowly, quirking a brow and tilting your head, wondering where he’s going with this.

“I found out this place here sells them!”

He stops as he says this and points to a small candy shop. Inside, you can see that there are walls and shelves lined with various types of candies and snacks. It seems he’s scoped out this place prior to taking you here because he takes you to the exact place they’re kept in the store.

Your eyes grow wide when you spot the familiar packaging of your childhood favourite and you can’t help the tears forming at your waterline.

Grabbing yourself a few packs of that specific candy, you and Chanyeol browse through the rest of the store, selecting a few more before you both make your way to the counter to pay for your chosen goods.

Chanyeol reaches for his wallet but you stop him, firmly insisting that he allow you to pay for his and your things to thank him for bringing you here and finding something that is so important to you. He sees the look of determination in your eyes and decides not to challenge you. He needs to pick his battles wisely if he wants the rest of the evening to pan out the way he intends it to.

Leaving the store and following Chanyeol to his next errand location, you can’t help but feel touched by the fact that he remembered something you had told him in passing over the phone and also managed to find you the exact thing you talked about too.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of Chanyeol’s laughter and you look up to realise he’s stopped walking, now watching you and chuckling as his shoulders bounce up and down.

“What?”

“I should be asking you that. What’s got you so deep in thought?”

“Nothing!” you quickly say, sounding way too defensive for your own good.

He hums, letting you know he didn’t really believe you but isn’t going to question you any further.

“Well, while you were too busy thinking about ‘nothing,’ I was trying to ask if you wanted to see this movie with me?” – he points over to a poster on the wall and you realise you’ve stopped in front of the cinema – “I didn’t realise it was out already! I’ve been looking forward to it.”

It’s been a while since you’ve seen a movie in an actual cinema, considering everything is just so accessible online these days. The movie he’s asking you to watch with him is an action comedy, it can’t be too bad right? You seem to have the same taste with most things so far.

“I mean, if you don’t want to. It’s okay, I just thought we could watch it together since we’re both here right now.”

He sees the gears in your head cranking and he’s hoping he didn’t overstep by asking you, the last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable around him. His nervousness shows by the way he’s unable to stand still, shifting from one foot to another and scratching the back of his neck.

“No, no, I’d love to watch it with you! It’s been so long since I’ve been to an actual cinema too. I think it’ll be fun!”

A toothy grin immediately appears on his features, eyes bright and sparkly with excitement.

“Awesome! I’ll go get the tickets and something from the candy bar too. Any requests?”

“Maybe just a drink? I think we have plenty of things to snack on.” you laugh, pointing to the bag he’s holding.

He nods in agreement and quickly scurries off to buy some tickets.

You both emerge from the dark movie theatre just under 2 hours later feeling a little closer than you did when you went in.

It was a great movie, it had a balance of suspenseful moments, scenes that made you laugh and a not-so-heavy-romance-but-just-enough plot thrown in. Truly something for everyone.

It was also the first time you had sat so closely with Chanyeol. Close enough that you could smell his cologne wafting to your nose and holy shit did he smell absolutely delicious. He would nudge you during the funny scenes as he laughed. Although the two of you had started off leaving a respectable distance, somewhere during the movie you had both managed to scoot closer to each other. Your thigh resting comfortably against his, upper arms touching too.

You both opened some of the snacks you had bought earlier to try and looked to each other for reactions, most of them were so good and the others not so much, making you both scrunch your face at eachother and quickly wrap the packet up and placing it back into the bag to reach for another instead.

Walking back to the car together, you discuss the happenings of the movie you’ve both just watched and end up quoting the same lines to eachother. His eyes are now in a semi permanent crescent moon position from all the laughing, a vast difference to his usual rounded full-moon-esque eyes that look like they contain galaxies within them. You wonder if his cheeks hurt from smiling as much as yours do.

You have learnt that Chanyeol laughs with his entire body, whether it be the not so subtle shaking of his shoulders, loud echoing claps from his huge hands, slapping his own body (usually thighs) or whatever furniture is within range or just folding over and holding himself. You wouldn’t put it behind him to regularly end up on the floor dying from a laughing fit too. The thought is endearing, the fact that he’s just so happy it vibrates through his entire being this way.

All that laughing must have depleted his body of energy because the moment you settle into the car and buckle up your seatbelts, you hear a huge extended rumbling sound coming from, what you can safely assume by the way he quickly clutches his abdomen, is his stomach.

Chanyeols ears grow bright red and he smiles at you sheepishly.

“Um, would you like to go get some food?” he says, scratching the back of his neck. A nervous habit of his that you’ve manage to pick up on. “Since we’re already together right now and it’s basically dinner time..” he trails off.

“Sure, why not. Since we’re conveniently together right now and I don’t think your stomach can wait any longer.” you tease.

“Hey!” he puts on a pretend offended look. “Is there anything in particular you want to eat? Anything you’re craving?”

“Hmm,” you purse your bottom lip and roll your eyes around in thought, “not really. I don’t mind what we eat.”

“Do you like ramen? There’s this spot I really like and it’s close by.”

“I love it! Let’s go there.”

Feeling pleased with himself that you so happily accept his suggestion for dinner and invite to join him for yet another thing, Chanyeol knows he definitely can’t wipe the grin off his face even if his cheeks are definitely feeling sore from smiling so much. He just hopes you’re enjoying yourself when spending time with him as much as he was with you.

Just like he said, the ramen restaurant was indeed close by and you arrive there in less than 10 minutes and a few turns along the way.

It’s a cosy little, hole in the wall type place that you wouldn’t have noticed in passing. Chanyeol swears this place has the best ramen he’s tasted outside of Japan, telling you to trust his judgement because he apparently travels there pretty often and has had his fair share of authentic Japanese cuisine.

You enter the small restaurant and are immediately greeted by the chef behind the counter, bowing and welcoming you inside and showing you to some seats. After perusing the menu and putting your order in, its not long before your steaming hot bowl of ramen arrives and you thank the chef for the food.

Picking up your spoon, you dip it inside the broth to scoop up some of the deliciousness to taste. The rich flavour immediately hits your senses and it tastes even better than it smells and looks.

“So?” Chanyeol asks, excited to hear your verdict.

“It really is so good!”

“Yay! I’m glad you like it.”

Chanyeol’s own bowl of ramen arrives immediately after and he follows your actions of thanking the chef before digging into the food, slurping up the broth and noodles.

Having ordered a smaller serving and receiving your food before Chanyeol, you end up finishing before he does and you allow yourself some silent moments to reflect on the past few hours you’ve spent with him.

You don’t think you’ve been this happy in a long time. And you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt this comfortable around someone new either. Could you really call him someone new though? After the amount of time you’ve spent texting together and on calls, coffee meetups in the mornings…you’ve definitely entered some sort of situationship with him. Any doubts you had about whether he felt the same way you did about him had dissipated. Any inklings of wonder you had whether he felt it to the intensity you did had gone too. Because just as much as you love spending time with him, he seems to want your company the same also.

Maybe you are ready. More than you had previously thought. Just scared, maybe.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Chanyeol asks, derailing your train of thought.

“I was just thinking…hypothetically, maybe I am ready to go on that date.”

The smile he gives you is impish. It’s not the bright, happy kind of smile you were expecting. It’s the mischievous kind, like when a little kid knows a silly secret or something. It makes you squint your eyes at him, questioning his motives.

“What?”

“Well, actually, we kinda did already go on that hypothetical date.”

You’re wondering what in the hell he’s on about when it clicks. What dat- Oh. Oh. A movie and dinner. The classic, run of the mill date.

You can’t even be mad. It’s too smart. He tricked you into going on a first date with him.

“Clever bastard.”

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direwombat · 9 months

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wip weekend/last line(s) tag

tagged by @detectivelokis, @simplegenius042, @gaeadene, @adelaidedrubman, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @cassietrn, and @inafieldofdaisies to share some wip stuff

not tagging anyone this time around because hhhhhh am late to the party and brain soop with the sunday night scaries, but here's the sketches for the screencap redraw (based off this spn gifset) i was originally going to do digitally but was forced to do traditionally (slightly distorted because i took this with my phone rather than scanning)

and under the cut is the start of an early scene for the werewolf au :)

It’s nine p.m. and Sybille is all of thirty seconds off shift when Eli calls her.

With a waggle of her fingers, she waves Joey goodbye before snapping her flip-phone open and pressing it to her ear. “Y’know? Small as the county is, it does take time for me to drive from Falls End up into the mountains,” she smiles.

“I know, I know,” Eli laughs warmly. “Just wanted to catch ya before you were on your way.”

She makes her way through the main lobby where Nancy sits manning the phone. Wishing the older woman a cordial goodnight, she walks out the Sheriff’s Department’s doors and into the parking lot. “I’d’ve picked up either way,” she states simply, fishing keys from her jacket pocket.

“That’s exactly why I wanted to get you before you started the engine,” he explains. “Listen, I haven’t heard from Chad in a few days and I’m gettin’ worried.”

A frown tugs at the corners of her lips. She unlocks the door to her truck, flings the door open, and climbs inside. “Eli, I’m off duty,” she huffs as she pulls the door shut. “You should really be callin’ the non-emergency number for stuff like this.”

“Syb, honey, if I thought he wouldn’t just open fire on a cruiser, that’s exactly what I’d do,” he says patiently. “His place is on the way up to mine, just hook that second left on Forest Road 135. His cabin’s at the end of that little dirt road.”

Her brows furrow, and she flicks on her headlights. “And you’re sure he ain’t just gonna open fire on my truck?”

“He knows you,” Eli says. “And if he doesn’t recognize your truck, at the very least he’ll send that warning shot into the air and not to your windshield.”

“Oh, well, that makes me feel real comforted,” she says flatly. Shoving her key into the ignition and giving it a turn, the engine of her old cherry-red Chevy rumbles to life. “Fine,” she relents. “I’ll check in on ‘im. Need me to pick anything up from the General Store or grab food from the Spread Eagle, while I’m still in town?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he answers. “And I really appreciate it. I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t worried.”

#wip wednesday #only it's the weekend #anyways. the sketches are far from perfect but they're good enough for me to paint over them #not sure how it's gonna turn out considering i haven't painted in a while #anway. time to catch up on tags because i've been slacking

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piracytheorist · 15 days

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So despite being an anime only that braves the paths of tumblr, I haven't been spoiled for anything big for Spy x Family… but that could very likely be because I'm guessing there isn't something big that has happened yet. By big I mean identity reveals, a character dying, twiyor kissing, idk, there's a lot of things that could happen and make the fandom change the way they speak and refer to the story.

But as I have been spoiled for a few things, I know that chapter 100 is a little around the corner, and with it being a big and important number, I don't doubt something big might happen in it. Honestly my guess is an accidental/impulsive twiyor kiss that just shakes them both and makes things more awkward because it would make Loid realize he has feelings and because of that he cannot pursue a relationship with Yor because it would be taking advantage of her, but really, it could be anything.

So with that in mind, I will actually have to take bigger measures. I blocked any spoiler tags from the beginning, but with the possibility of bigger spoilers coming, I'll have to filter any and all tags related to sxf. Ranging from main tags to character and ship tags.

I mean, I already wasn't seeing much. I wasn't visiting the tags, but now and then tumblr suggested posts from the tags and I would see a tidbit of a spoiler. But now I won't be able to see anything and it will really be me screaming into the void and the DMs of a few pals who know to be careful and not mention any spoilers.

That said, this might make me feel even more isolated, so I openly encourage people to send me fanart, memes, metas, gifsets, anything they find interesting and are sure don't include any spoilers. There's a bit of a hesitation, though, because when I first joined a discord server which I then left due to, you guessed it, spoilers, two different people suggested to me two different fanfics and said "Don't worry, they don't include any spoilers!" and what do you know, both included spoilers. I don't blame them since manga readers may have a harder time remembering what constitutes manga spoiler and what does not, especially if it's from a much older chapter, but it still made me very hesitant to reach out to anyone about that.

I'm not pressuring anyone nor demanding from anyone to do this. Just saying that, if you find something that's interesting and doesn't include any spoilers, and if you care to spare the time to send it to me, I'd appreciate it.

Anyway, just letting y'all know, or anyone who cares, that I'm really closing myself off of the fandom. I might even have to train myself to not look at users' avatars anymore. I really don't want any big revelations to be spoiled for me in that manner.

#nette speaks #ended up filtering over 50 tags oof

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

Text

Turtles Catches Up with the Essential BLs: Kieta Hatsukoi Edition

Review of Kieta Hatsukoi (My Love Mix-Up), ready to serve! I’m going through various messages and comments to make sure I tag the right person who recommended that I watch this, and I believe it was my dearest wonderfriend @the-nihongo-adventure, but if I’m wrong, forgive me! (And if I’m right, then as ever, THANK YOU!)

I ate this up in my continued effort to catch up with essential BLs, and Kieta Hatsukoi was just DARLING DARLING DARLING. I was drawn to watch this in part because I’ve seen so many gifsets of the show, including wonderful comparisons to my beloved Cherry Magic, with which I did see quite a number of parallels. (As always, my apologetic caveat for reviewing a show that many of you have already seen! This ended up being a long post, heads up.)

As Teppachi! was a gluttonous showcase for members of the Love Dream Happiness/EXILE TRIBE agency in Japan, so Kieta Hatsukoi featured two gems of Johnny and Associates, Michieda Shunsuke and Meguro Ren, the latter of whom has had a smashing two years of acting, not only in KH, but now in Silent and the NHK morning dorama/asadora, Maiagare! (Meguro is absolutely FANTASTIC in Silent, and if you’re balancing your QL diet with a dose of cishet doramas, I really highly recommend watching it.)

Before I sing its praises, I’ll offer a couple quick criticisms of Kieta Hatsukoi, which is that I think some plot points were rushed at the end of the series, just to move the story along. I think Aoki breaking up with Ida so quickly while at Ida’s house seemed a little melodramatic and rushed. I think their awkward interactions at school right after that seemed a little stilted.

But these are small criticisms, and I bring them up to start this post because I actually think that some of the small melodramas actually served the plot very well. BECAUSE:

This dorama was clearly set up to be a dear and sincere school dorama between two classmates, and I just think that Michieda and Meguro handled that sincerity SO WELL.

Oh my god, Michieda’s Aoki. I literally was laughing OUT LOUD at his acting. His Aoki was SO sincere and wonderful! The way in which Aoki grew into his confidence to continue confessing to Ida throughout the show. The way in which Aoki continued to gain clarity into his feelings, while Ida was plugging away on sorting out his own feelings.

It seemed to me that Michieda acted this role with such a deep COMFORT to become Aoki, and played Aoki so beautifully with such a lovely balance of awkwardness and authenticity. When he pretended to be a rapper to Ida? I was dying. He HIT his coming to his feelings with awkwardness so beautifully, I felt like he transported me right back to my own teenagerhood.

[I’m playing around with the following idea, by the way, and may ask some of the expert commentators of QL here on Tumblr to comment in the near future, but I really wonder if BL-specific content pushes cishet actors -- especially more well-known actors, like your Meguros, Akasos, or Machidas -- to go well beyond their comfort zones and just NAIL their performances. Not that I’m biased -- I’m extremely biased on anything related to Cherry Magic -- but I feel that with all I’ve watched with my Akaso and Machida rabbitholes, that Cherry Magic is still the best show I’ve seen them in. Even with something like Kinou Nani Tabeta, which clearly drove two super-famous, legendary, and talented actors in Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou, to go beyond their usual scopes to find and demonstrate intimacy between each other -- it seemed miraculous, even while they’ve both acted brilliantly in other projects (please watch Nishijima’s Drive My Car and Mozu, and Uchino’s Tonbi, if you can find them.) I think a lot of what’s in Machida’s repertoire just doesn’t serve his acting ability at all and leverages him just for the looks (ahem, Super Rich, Teppachi). I mean, with the kind of volume these actors need to maintain for relevancy in a hyper-competitive dorama environment, they’re gonna be acting in some shitshows anyway. But it always seems to me that these guys with tremendous potential just overwhelmingly EAT their QL roles. Anyway -- food for thought. I’d be curious to find out if there were analyses in Japanese media on this theory.]

Sorry for that tangent, but it helps me to wonder how Michieda and Meguro so perfectly nailed the chemistry between Aoki and Ida. Ida was really convincing as someone who was sorting out his feelings! I believed him. I believed that Ida had always been sympathetic to people who felt they needed him.

And while I thought it was slightly melodramatic that Aoki left Ida’s house in a huff when he felt like Ida was only treating Aoki as a friend -- I do think that melodrama served Aoki well. I think it contributed to a theme and commentary that Aoki was taking HIS OWN feelings very seriously.

I really loved that about this show. What I didn’t see happening was Aoki slagging on himself -- at least, after the first couple episodes, when dear Hashimoto and that camping instructor helped Aoki to feel confident to BE confident in his feelings. (I DID love that garbage bag scene, though. Whoever wrote that scene, I give you all your flowers.)

Aoki grew to be confident in his love for Ida, and it was a very simple and straightforward plotline that I think Michieda carried so lovingly and heartwarmingly throughout the series. I love how uncomplicated his love was for Ida. Aoki liked his guy, that was it! And he wanted his guy to be honest about his feelings, and was like, you know what, if Ida doesn’t know how he feels about me by now, it must be just friendship -- so I’m going to respect myself enough to get out of the relationship and stop pushing my feelings onto Ida.

That’s actually a pretty sophisticated emotional timeline -- a little rushed, yes, for a dorama, but that’s a lot of awakening for a high schooler.

And same for Ida. I like how brooding Meguro played his Ida at the end of the series, taking very seriously what Aoki was going through with Aoki’s need for a confirmation from Ida that Ida liked Aoki. Ida never, ever stopped taking Aoki’s feelings seriously. That was SO lovely! Never for a second did Ida take what was happening lightly, even while Aoki misread Ida.

It was so sincere. I loved that Ida needed that final push from Taniguchi-sensei. I believed the wonderful run (god, I love this trope!) that Ida took to meet Aoki back at the school festival. I believed it when Ida said, wholeheartedly, that he really loved Aoki (wish I could screenshot this, dang it, Viki).

It didn’t seem rushed that Ida needed the time of the series to come to his realizations about his feelings for Aoki. I loved that part of Ida’s sincerity was just not KNOWING what love felt like. It meant that Ida, himself, needed to come to this realization on his own, certainly with urging from his friends -- but that he wasn’t going to cop to anyone else’s definition of what love was. His love for Aoki was unique to Ida himself, alone. And I think that last line he said to Aoki at the festival -- “That’s alright. We don’t have to be like anyone else.” -- was apropos of that wonderful, singular, and honest mindset.

I honestly thought, going into this show, that it was going to be lighter than it actually was, and I always love being mistaken for that assumption. I’m definitely going to follow more of Michieda’s works (what an actor!), and I’m tremendously happy to have caught up with an important part of Meguro’s repertoire before I finish Silent.

#kieta hatsukoi #my love mix up #aoki x ida #ida x aoki #michieda shunsuke #meguro ren #turtles catches up with the essential BLs

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kaasknot · 2 years

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Please take this as an offense but I am absolutely fascinated by your current obsession with Buster Keaton and went back through your account to figure out what rabbit hole led to this but couldn't figure it out. If you're okay with sharing can you tell me the rabbit hole that led to this?

OFFENS TAKEN no but okay it's really kind of dumb. this past january someone reblogged a buster keaton post, i assume a stunts gifset because those get numbers, and i hit up his tag on a whim to see what was what.

now, at the time i was writing an OC character for star wars. and while i knew just about everything else important about this character, i didn't have a clear idea of what he looked like. but i was scrolling through pics of this old-timey comedian and it slowly dawned on me: my character looks kind of like buster keaton. official facecast made.

and honestly, that's why i came back to the tag a second time. if it hadn't been for that association, i probably would have forgotten about buster and moved on. but, once a month or so i'd jump back in the buster keaton tag, refresh my memory on my OC's face situation, and then jump back out.

till eventually i guess it hit critical mass, and all of a sudden in late may i'm hitting up the buster tag… because i'm thirsty for buster. i pretty clearly remember a series of gifsets around The General that made me go "…damn, son."

gonna wax rhapsodic here for a bit. let's get the most obvious point out of the way: buster keaton is pretty. he's got cheekbones and big eyes and a profile to die for. and he's ripped, because he's a goddamn acrobat. like, his vastus medialis continually makes me go "that can't be real." also, he's a short king. a small little guy. 5'5", and perfectly willing to make jokes about it—and that kind of security is hotter than the surface of the sun.

he's also ridiculously funny. he made his career on that, you'd kind of hope he would be; but specifically it's funny to me. his sense of humor matches mine perfectly: wry, ironic, a touch of the absurd/surrealistic, leaning to black humor, and with minimal use of sticky substances or stupidity. i have so much trouble with modern comedy because 90% of the time it's just so dumb. buster keaton movies are not dumb. his hero is a clever little shithead—if somewhat naive and literal-minded—with abysmal luck, who gets into awkward situations and does his clever best to get himself back out. i vibe with it.

and then obvs his stunts. the more of his movies i watch the more i mutter "how did he not die?" and "is he made of rubber bands and cotton balls??" his physicality is so satisfying to watch, and not just in a prurient way (tho i am definitely also watching in a prurient way). this is a man with supreme control over his body and a thorough understanding of physical comedy. he was pulling out pratfalls well into his 60s, yo.

and the more of his movies i watch (especially in comparison to roscoe arbuckle's movies), the more i appreciate how good of a filmmaker he was. he let the story do the talking, rather than clutter up the screen with intertitles. his precise use of camera angles, the astonishingly good cinematography, the use of the camera itself to sell a gag (i.e. the dream sequence in Sherlock, Jr.). i saw a letterboxd review call The General "mad max fury railroad" and i haven't been able to get that out of my head, because y e a h, his editing was as precise as margaret sixel's. i watched "One Week" after watching all of the arbuckle shorts he was in, and lemme tell you, my third eye was blown wide open. "oh," i said to myself. "i get why people call him a genius."

and from a frothing fangirl perspective, he has built in artificial scarcity. his smile is rare, his voice is rare, shirtless scenes are rare. (in reality, none of these things are particularly hard to find in his films, but like i say to everyone who sits still long enough for me to yammer at them, their perceived scarcity makes them so much more compelling. when you hear him say "pass" in Sunset Boulevard you quiver like you're catching sight of ankles in the 1800s). it encourages thirsting.

the more i learn about him the more obsessed i get.

#askbox #psychicshr00m #buster keaton #thank u for letting me ramble about my blorbo #no i don't know if/when/how i'll ever write my OC again

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.).

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.)

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy.

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend.#why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

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rizahawkais · 3 years

Note

Hi Nia! You're gifs are so pretty! Is it possible for you to show how you get your WandaVision gifs too look so clear and hd? And how do you do your colorings too? (specifically the wanda maximoff in episode 3 gifset ITS GORGEOUS) I'm new to giffing and all the tutorials are kind of old. It's okay if you don't want to though! I understand it may be time consuming.

omg no! never feel intimidated to ask!! i don’t mind at all!

so, i’m going to show you how i made and coloured this gif

mostly bc it’s the only gif in that set w text and i’m going to share my text settings too!

tutorial is below :)

WHAT KIND OF VIDEOS ARE BEST?

.mkv files (the bigger the better BUT i usually think anything above 5 gb is excessive and unnecessary for an episode of television BUT for a movie worth it) itunes downloads (logolesspro on twitter, hd-source on tumblr, live-action-raws on tumblr have some DEPENDING on what you’re looking for) (also, there’s a chance that if you search "show/movie hd download tumblr” you’ll find a tumblr with its itunes download available)

THAT IS IT NO OTHER TYPE OF FILES MAKE YOUR GIFS LOOK GOOD

- my suggestion is always if its new (like just came out the past month) t*rrent it! it’ll be downloaded quickly and .mkv files look the best! BUT if not check the sources above see who has the BIGGEST file if they even have what you’re looking for and then if not then you look to t*rrenting!!

here are the wandavision files i use so you can see!!

SCREENCAPPING

-if you have windows use potplayer! i have a mac so i can’t show you how to use it and it’s not available for me :( HOWEVER back when i had a windows potplayer was the best method in screencapping!!

-I HAVE A MAC! so i use mpv!! (go to mpv.io and follow the directions) BUT DON’T DOWNLOAD THE LATEST ONE (it has a bug that skips frames) try each before the latest one bc from what i heard different ones work differently for everyone!! and i don’t know which one i use (yikes!) THERE ISN’T THAT MANY I PROMISE AND IT’S WORTH IT BC MPV IS THE BEST (i used to use adapter but they didn’t take impressive screencaps in my opinion and it was evident in my gifs you can see it too! )

create a folder for your screencaps! and make sure to rmb the directory order! now we want to create a text file on our built in textedit app on mac! type up all this down below (i like jpg but you can replace jpg w png if you want) AND SAVE THE FILE AS mpv.conf THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON’T FORGET IT! save it somewhere you’ll find easily and NEVER delete it until you don’t use mpv anymore

just in case you don’t know what to insert after, go to your screencaps folder

now you want to open mpv and go to the corner towards mpv -> preferences and they’ll tell you that there is no .conf file SO GO LOOK FOR THE TEXT FILE WE JUST MADE AND DRAG IT TO THE FOLDER THEY OPENED FOR US AFTER SAYING THERE IS NO .CONF FILE

(i learned all this from @kylos tutorial!! so if any of what i just said about setting up mpv makes NO SENSE to you check out their tutorial at kylos(.)tumblr(.)com/post/178497909311)

now we can screencap!

so let’s find the scene we want RIGHT BEFORE and MAKE SURE SUBTITLES ARE OFF

i pause and then press (option/alt + s) and then SCREENCAPS ARE BEING TAKEN!! and to end the screencaps being taken you once again press (option/alt + s)!!

now we want to delete the excess frames! and put it all into one folder!! DO NOT DELETE FRAMES IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT YOU WANT TO GIF!! WHEN YOU SKIP FRAMES IT WILL BE NOTICEABLE!!

MAKING THE GIF

this method isn’t used that much BUT I LOVE IT so this is how i put my frames in! first i check to see the size of my frames: 1920 x 1080

so i create a NEW file on photoshop with those dimensions w these settings

now i set my tool on photoshop to path selection tool bc if you have it set on smth like move tool or crop tool at the end you might end up moving or cropping frames you don’t want to!

ok so now we select ALL our frames and drag it on top of our new file on photoshop and the MOMENT we see our first frame in photoshop JUST KEEP CLICKING ENTER until all the frames are loaded!!

you can do file -> scripts -> load files into stack but it is WAYYY slower in my opinion!

now i crop out the excess BUT i don’t resize the gif yet! the dimensions wandavision is filmed in is 4:3 so i go to crop and set the settings to this:

MAKE SURE IT’S ON RATIO SO WE’RE PRESERVING THE ORIGINAL SIZE JUST CUTTING OFF THE BLACK EDGES!! We are going from 1920 x 1080 to 1440 x 1080 this is the dimensions after i cropped

WE ARE KEEPING THE QUALITY BY NOT CHANGING THE DIMENSIONS OF ANYTHING INSIDE !!

now we want to go to actions and create an action!! open up actions w one of these two depending on what your dash looks like!!

so we create an action with this button on the bottom of actions and we’re gonna title it making a gif and hit record!!

NOW LET’S GOOOOO!!

1. make sure you have timeline on your dash!

2. create frame animation (if you see create video timeline just click the arrow next to the button to see your other option which is frame animation!!)

3. now let’s meet our best friend!! the little bar in the top right corner that has all the commands for making our gifs and MAKE FRAMES FROM LAYERS

4. WE HAVE TO SHARPEN OUR GIFS NOW BUT TO DO THAT WE NEED TO CONVERT TO A SMART OBJECT SO NOW WE ARE GOING TO CONVERT TO VIDEO TIMELINE there are two ways: the button in the bottom left corner or the button in the top right corner w all the other commands!

5. select -> all layers DON’T MANUALLY SELECT THEM ALL BC THE ACTION WILL ONLY SELECT THAT SAME NUMBER OF FRAMES SO IF THERE ARE MORE FRAMES YOU WON’T GET THEM IN THE SMART OBJECT!!

6. filter -> convert for smart filters

7. NOW WE SHARPEN!! (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) i sharpen twice!! first, make sure we are on legacy w more accurate and remove gaussian blue! the first sharpening will be 500% with 0.4 px radius. NOW SHARPEN AGAIN (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) also w legacy, more accurate and remove gaussian blur BUT this time 10% with a 10.0 px radius!

8. it’s hd now!! so let’s flatten frames into clips!! go to the top right magic button again!! and you should see a pop up saying layers are being made

9. now we convert back to frame animation w either the bottom left button or our magic top right command center!

10. make frames from layers

11. select all frames w our magic command button

12. set the animation delay to 0.05 THAT IS THE BEST ONE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS only use 0.06 when the character is moving really fast in the video itself and it makes the gif itself look awkward BUT NEVER GO ABOVE 0.06 it’ll look slow and laggy and we don’t want that and don’t go below 0.05 bc then it’ll be tooo fast and we don’t want that either!

13. now delete the very first frame on the timeline bc it is an oversharpened duplicate of the second frame! end the recording w this button!

this is what your action should look like expanded! if you made mistakes on the way and it shows up you can just click the specific step and press the trash can on the action tab to delete in from the order!!

NOW AFTER LOADING YOUR FRAMES AND CROPPING THE EDGES OF YOUR FRAMES IF YOU NEED TO JUST PLAY THE ACTION AND THEN YOUR GIF WILL BE MADE FOR YOU!!!!

now i delete some unnecessary frames in the beginning and end and this is what my gif looks like (the size was 46 mb and the limit is 10 mb so the dimensions of the gif are 540 x 405 to get it to 5 mb BUT I HAVEN’T CROPPED IT YET SO THIS IS ME CROPPING JUST TO SHOW YOU WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE)

CROPPING THE GIF

in my opinion if you want your gif to look hd you shouldn’t crop before you sharpen!! i believe that if you crop before you sharpen you don’t allow photoshop to sharpen all the pixels whereas if you crop beforehand there is less to work with!!

dimensions is all up to you!! just make sure to go by tumblr rules!! 540 is the max width and if you want to make two gifs per row then my suggested width is 268 and for three gifs per row my suggested is 177 px! Just have the right width and the length can be whatever you want!!

now i’m going to crop my gif to 540 by 590!!

NOW THIS IS WHAT MY GIF LOOKS LIKE!

COLOURING BASICS

let me show you the best adjustment tools in my opinion and a brief explanation for what they do!!

brightness/contrast: pretty simple increase/decrease the brightness/contrast BUT one of my techniques for when i first start colouring a gif is i select all my frames and do nothing to the settings of the adjustment but i set the layer to screen LIKE THIS

curves: ik others use curves to change brightness/contrast w the squiggly thing BUT i like it to set a white point and black point, this is also a technique i use when i first start colouring a gif when screen doesn’t look good for me SO you use white point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the lightest color on the gif (setting the white point) and you use black point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the darkest colour on the gif (setting the black point) usually the white point makes it TOO bright and that’s why we use the black point to counter it and same goes for when i use screen with brightness/contrast, it gets too bright so i use black point to counter it below is the button for white point and the button for black point, respectively they are shaped as color picker tools

vibrance: generally, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but they work really well in making colors seem more strong

hue/saturation: like vibrance, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but this adjustment is to help change the colors or hue of a color for example: turn blue into purple or turn a blue into a little lighter shade of blue

color balance: I ALWAYS USE THIS!! except for in black and white gifs BUT THIS IS MY GO TO AND IF I DON’T USE IT MY GIFS ARE JUST BLAND i feel like color balance is what essentially balances the colors on your gif and adds dimension to it, it makes your gif go from looking way too yellow to a more golden neutral look and it is an essential adjustment in my opinion

channel mixer: i rarely use channel mixer BUT it is so so useful when you are working w a dark scene just play w the settings and all of a sudden all the blue in a dark scene will be a little more yellow and red and your scene will kind of just look brighter and more visible

selective color: THIS IS ALSO AN ESSENTIAL this helps SPECIFIC colors pop you’re working on a scene where there is too much red on someones face you use this tool to remove the magentaness from the yellow section OR when you feel someones face is TOO yellow and needs more blush you add more magenta in the yellow section of selective color

gradiant map: gradiant map is perfect when you’re lazy if you feel like your gif looks more neutral and you want some red in it but you don’t want to mess with any other adjustments just set a red to black gradiant on soft overlay with a very low opacity and BOOM slightly red but not too much red added!

NOW TO COLOR THE GIF!

today i have decided to start with a brightness layer set on screen

and this is what we got!

now that’s a little to bright and washed out in my opinion SOOOO to counteract it, i’m going to use my black point tool in curves and i’m going to select this point on the gif (it’s better to choose smth in the background and not smth that’s paid attention to such as monica’s hair or either of their eyelashes)

now my gif looks like this! the base color is complete!

now i think i need to balance all this yellow and red! SOOOO WE GONNA USE COLOR BALANCE!!

i think the best way to use color balance is to keep swinging the balancer until you see what you like and then keep going midtones i think i want more red and i don’t want a cyan midtone and then for shadows i think i want more cyan to counter the redness of the gif but highlights i don’t touch that much NOW HERE ARE MY SETTINGS SO YOU CAN SEE

and this is what my gif looks like

now you can stop here if you want but in my opinion i think the gif looks a lil too dead still SO IMMA USE SELECTIVE COLOR

i think there needs to be a lot lot more RED so i amp up the yellow magenta and black in the red! but i also think the yellows need to be LESS RED so i remove magenta from the yellow! and bc there’s some cyan and blue bc of monica and the flowers in the background im going to make the cyans more cyan and the blues a lil more black! i’m going to remove some yellows from the magenta!! and i add more black to the neutrals and black!! i think it’s always important to add more black to neutral and black bc it adds more depth to the gif by not just making it a bunch of bright colors and having dark colors to contrast to!! my settings are below!

and the result!

now let’s see everything together!

and the before and after!

I HOPE MY COLOURING EXPLANATION MADE SENSE!! if not you can always ask me more questions i don’t mind!!

ADDING SUBTITLES

we want to grab the text tool!

make a text box from anywhere in the middle from the left to right edge. this is so we can make sure our text is centered and will be in the same place for when we have sets w more than one gif w text!

type your text out and make sure you highlight the whole text so that all the settings apply to EACH character! you can find the alignments (for center) in the paragraph tab!

now lets right click on the text layer and go to blending options! add stroke and drop shadow!

now drag it to the desired height you would like and make sure to keep it in mind for when you have more than one subtitled gif in a set!

NOW TO MAKE SURE THE TEXT STAYS IN PLACE AND THE BLENDING STAYS YOU HAVE TO CONVERT TO SMART OBJECT!!

if you want to only have the text applied to certain frames instead of all frames, select the frames you don’t want by clicking the first frame in ur don’t want section ON THE TIMELINE and WHILST HOLDING SHIFT click the last frame of ur don’t want section and then toggle the eye switch next to the text layer

now you see the text

now you don’t

tip: use opacity to fade the text in and out!

the text is going to be on all my frames so i don’t need to toggle the eye but i just wanted to show you just in case!!

now here’s my FINAL RESULT

save for web (file -> export -> save for web)

your gifs have to always be under 10 mb! so, if your WAYYY overboard YOU HAVE TO DELETE FRAMES! or you can divide the gif in two and have two gifs instead of one! however, if you plan on going the deleting frames route MAKE SURE YOU DELETE FROM THE BEGINNING OR END OF YOUR SELECTION i promise you that most of us won’t notice that your characters dialogue is being cut off BUT WE WILL NOTICE IF FRAMES ARE BEING SKIPPED so, don’t delete frames in the middle of ur gif!! idc how little you do it IT WILL RUIN YOUR GIF AND I SAY THIS FROM EXPERIENCE i would delete every fifth frame to cut down my gifs and that may seem like not that big of a deal BUT IT IS my gif looked choppy and poor so it is way better to cut from the end/beginning of the gif

ANOTHER LAST PIECE OF ADVICE in the bottom left of when the save for web menu shows up THERE’S A PREVIEW BUTTON click on it! it’ll show you your gif on your default browser and show you what it’ll look like once uploaded! this is perfect to check the speed of ur gif and the colouring and to notice if there’s a problem with your subtitles or maybe there’s an obvious jump in frames you never noticed before!! i always use preview bc the built-in photoshop viewer of ur gif shows the colors differently and the speed is NEVER ACURRATE!

I USED THESE SAVE SETTINGS!! many say to use selective pattern but i DISAGREE and i think these save settings are the ✨ best ✨

OK NOW THAT IS THE END OF THIS VERY LONG GIF TUTORIAL!! I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!! IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK I SINCERELY DON’T MIND!! JUST DON’T BE RUDE OR ANYTHING BC PPL HAVE BEEN RECENTLY :(

I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK AND FUN IN YOUR GIFFING ADVENTURES !!

#tutorials #asks #sourceblog #allresources #completeresources #itsphotoshop #dailyresources #resourcemarket #chaoticresources #onlyresources #hisources #sibylresources #dailypsd

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sherifftillman · 1 year

Text

it's very well-known that i have a sea of WIPs to wade through, and i don't have the time, nor the skillset yet, to make it into a gifset story, but also i can't get this idea out of my head so please!! feel free to add onto this headcanon/turn it into your own thing/bounce ideas back and forth with me!!

introducing:

the untitled Harringtwins AU - an introduction

Steve didn't care that he wasn't the 'planned' baby. Sure, Fred and Susan Harrington knew they were having a child. They'd had their names planned: Frederick Harrington II if it were a boy, and Stephanie if it were a girl, close enough to match her mother as Susan would like. She didn't need to carry on her name, but the same first initial seemed like a nice enough touch. They certainly didn't expect twins; Susan's fear of ultrasound technology mutating her baby steered her well clear of most hospital appointments, so she never knew.

Susan feared the worst from the moment the doctors told her to prepare to push out baby number two. She prayed every night that she would bear a son, that her efforts to baby-trap Hawkins' number 1 philanthropists wouldn't be in vain. She could give him someone to continue his name, his legacy. And when baby Freddie was born, everything in the universe seemed aligned for them. But they hadn't planned for two. What would Fred do? Leave her to raise two boys on her own? She had to get these babies registered, fast. If Fred Harrington's son has his name, he won't risk tarnishing it by abandoning his own boy. As for the other one, she simply opted for the masculine version of the name of the daughter they'd never have.

Throughout their childhood, Steve and Freddie were inseparable. They'd run rings around their parents and staff, leading to their favourite prank of confusing everyone into not being able to keep track of who was who. They never stopped finding it hilarious, being referred to by their brother's name. The only person who refused to fall for it was their favourite maid, Winnie. She eventually revealed that Steve had "vampire bite" freckles on his neck that gave him away, which led to their second-favourite game, Freddie pretending he was a vampire and trying to bite his brother at any time. Their parents refused to let that game leave the house.

Freddie was always the favoured child. He has the family name, after all. But as he grew up, and started to develop his own personality, there was something Freddie was severely lacking in, for a Harrington. Charisma. He was a smart boy, best in his grade, hitting top percentiles by state standards, even. But the Harringtons are businessmen and that has to come with charm. A charm that comes much more naturally to Steve. Steve's the athlete with a glint in his eye, exactly how his father was as a child. What his father wanted in a child.

And so when the opportunity arose for Freddie to attend a prestigious boarding school on a scholarship, what kind of parents would Fred and Susan be to turn that down? It was fortunate enough timing that this opportunity arose just as parents were starting to talk of The Harrington Kid. Not Steve, of course, Steve was the sort of kid that every parent wanted their child to befriend. The Harrington Kid was awkward and clumsy and every opposite of what a true Harrington should be. Worse, The Harrington Kid had Fred's branding attached to him. So sending him off to hone the talents he has, so he can eventually come back and manage the numbers side of the Harrington empire while they coach Steve into being the Ultimate Harrington, was simply killing two birds with one stone.

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington headcanon #pls someone talk about steve and his estranged twin to me!!!#it isn't ship specific or x reader or anything but imagine a steve clone who's just like. the polar opposite of him #idk maybe freddie comes home after graduating boarding school to be like 'okay! time to run the family business with my brother now!'#and steve is like 'oh lmao nah dad hates me i've desecrated the family name and my best friend is fourteen years old'#harringtwins

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haldi-archived · 4 years

Photo

Hey guys! I got an ask wondering how I make my gifs and some people have asked me how I color my gifs, so here you go!

We’re going to be making this:

You’ll need:

VLC Media Player

Photoshop with working Import Video Frames to Layers function and timeline. I use Photoshop 2020, but any older versions with these functions will work!

A high-quality video (preferably 1080p)

Tutorial under the cut!

PART ONE: MAKING YOUR GIFS

You’re going to want to open up your video in VLC Media Player and open it to around a few seconds before your scene appears. If you’re giffing from a small YouTube video you can ignore this step, but for movies and TV, you’ll want to use VLC to extract the tiny part of it you want.

Pause it before your scene and click View >> Advanced Controls.

Above the play button, you should see a bunch of new controls. Focus on the red button I circled below:

Click this button and press play. VLC records are a little bit off, so this is why you want to be a few seconds before your scene actually starts so you catch it all! When your scene has played, press the button again. You’ve now recorded your scene and you can record as many scenes as you like for a full gifset.

You can find your recorded videos in the Videos folder. It’ll be named something like vlc-record-a bunch of letters and numbers.

Now that you have your scenes, it’s time to open Photoshop! When Photoshop has loaded, go to File >> Import >> Video Frames to Layers, which is a bit down to the bottom. It’ll prompt you to select a video; click on the video you just recorded, and a screen like this will pop up:

Use the white sliders to select the parameters of your scene. I would recommend going a little bit more on both sides so you catch your whole scene.

TIP: Make sure you do NOT select the button that says “Limit to Every 2 Frames,” because that will make your gifs look choppy and ugly. Love yourself!

Once your frames have loaded, you might not see them on Photoshop the way mine looks. If that’s the case, make sure you go to Window >> Timeline so you can see the frames!

Delete the extra frames in your gif that you don’t need by selecting the frames you want to delete and pressing the trash can button, circled below:

Now that you’ve done that, it’s time to crop. For this particular gif, I’m going for a full-width one, so the width I chose is 540px and I chose a height of 290px. Click on the crop tool and make sure your crop settings are at W x H x Resolution, or you won’t be able to input specific dimensions the way I’ve done here:

Position the crop tool where you want your gif to be:

And now that your gif is all cropped and sized, it’s time to sharpen! I have a pretty specific sharpening process that I’ll outline in detail here, but I have an action for this purpose so as to save time. I’m just making this part of the tutorial so you know what you’re meant to do in Photoshop.

First, go ahead and click the three little bars at the right edge of the Timeline/Frames tab and hit Convert to Video Timeline.

Now, your timeline should look like this:

Go to Select >> All Layers, and right-click on one of the layers in the Layers tab once they’ve all been selected. Select Convert to Smart Object. This allows us to sharpen the entire gif at once as opposed to by frame! Your timeline should now look like this, with all the little purple parts condensed into one:

It’s time to sharpen! Go to Filter >> Sharpen >> Smart Sharpen. I do two passes with the Sharpening tool; here are my settings for both:

It’s not too apparent in the pictures, but it does make a difference. Don’t worry about your gifs looking too sharp; I use this action on every single one of my gifs and it always works like a charm.

Now that our gifs are nice and sharp, it’s time to take them back to frames. This is because of a glitch in Photoshop that makes gifs saved in Smart Object form much faster than they would be in frames. Click on the small bars on the right of the timeline again and select Convert Frames >> Flatten Frames into Clips.

Your gif should have all those little clips that we had before we converted it into a Smart Object.

Then, go to Convert Frames >> Convert to Frame Animation.

Your gif should be back in frames again, but it’s all one frame. Don’t worry; we’re going to fix that by clicking Make Frames from Layers from the menu with the three little bars again.

Now all your frames should be back! We’re going to set the speed of the gif now. Hit those three little bars again and click Select All Frames. Now click on the little triangle under any frame and click Other, and a little popup will appear. I always set my gifs to a speed of 0.05.

At this point, I save my gifs as a .PSD file. You can delete these PSDS after you’ve posted your gifset (I usually do to save space!), but it helps to have them so you can edit your gifs later if you want. Hit Ctrl+S, and now the screen to save it should pop up. Make sure you save it as a PSD file and not something else.

Now you have a gif that you can color! Which brings us to…

PART TWO: COLORING, ADDING SUBTITLES, AND SAVING YOUR GIFS

I do run a pale blog so this is going to be a pale coloring tutorial. You can check some popular resource blogs to see if they have any tutorials for colorful gifs!

I start out by making a group with the little folder below the layers tab; I title it “coloring.” (Not pictured: I added a layer mask and painted one black dot over it so I could reference the original!)

I always start out with a Curves layer; here are my settings:

The gif at this point:

Next, I decrease saturation using the Hue/Saturation adjustment:

After this, I add a black and white Gradient Map layer and set it to blend mode Exclusion at 10% Opacity.

Then, (not pictured), I add a Selective Color layer and reduce blacks in Whites and Neutrals while increasing them in Blacks.

To make the background pale, I added a Hue/Sat layer, applying 100% Lightness to the Cyan and Blue channels and adding color to Azula’s skin by saturating the Yellows.

Here’s the gif after those adjustments:

Now I’m going to restore color to Azula’s skin following my own tutorial, so I’m not going to go into those details here. However, here’s the gif after all this. It’s not totally the same as Azula’s skin, but going any pinker makes the gif look awkward and oversaturated, which isn’t a good look:

After some minor adjustments and removal of the layer mask:

Now for subtitles!

Use the Text tool and make a rectangle at the bottom of your gif where subtitles go. I use Arial Rounded MT Bold, with Regular style, at 3.36pt and Sharp anti-aliasing.

Create a rectangle at the bottom of the gif where subtitles go and type in your text; then right-click on the text layer and select Blending Options and check Stroke, and these are my settings:

Now your subtitles are all ready! I’d recommend duplicating one frame of the gif and then duplicating the text layer onto a new canvas and saving it as a PSD so your settings and placement are always consistent across your gifsets!

Time to save your gif. Here are my settings, circled ones important:

I’ve seen gifmakers use Adaptive+Pattern but I personally think that looks grainier and the pattern is really obvious; in my opinion Selective+Diffusion looks smoother, but it’s all up to you! Experiment with what you think looks best.

Make sure your gifs are set to loop Forever or they’ll only loop a limited amount.

Here’s your finished gif!

I hope this tutorial was helpful! Please reblog this if you learned something, and I hope you have a wonderful day. Happy gifmaking ❤

#allresources #chaoticresources #yeahps #biresources #resourcemarket #useradeela #usermaira #userdanisaur #userchelsea #tuserivy #*mine #resources #tutorial

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foxofninetales · 3 years

Text

Liu Sang Watcher’s Guide - Part 9

Link to part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Baby, You’re a Knockout

The Lost Tomb Reboot Season 1

Episode 13 38:30-39:51

Just when you think this episode is going to waste its chance to have Liu Sang in it, there he is, listening for the exact right time to spring the trap that is integral to their rescue plan.

The camera people love Liu Sang's ears and hands and so do we.

Of course, springing the trap means being way too close to very loud explosions - ow.

Liu Sang contemplates biting Pangzi again.

Episode 14

11:15-11:38

OH LOOK it's everyone else enjoying a nice dinner TO WHICH LIU SANG WASN'T INVITED. Yes, yes, it's great that he's clearing land mines for the villagers, but I'm just saying it's no wonder the poor guy has a complex. Oh well - at least it gives Liu Sang a chance to make a dramatic entrance. Please note how attractive he looks behind the wheel of a car - that'll come in handy later.

As far as Wu Xie is concerned it's coming in handy now. Wu Xie, please tell me you don't think you're being subtle.

Omigosh, look at this awkward baby, he's so cute.

Even when he's acting and not modeling, Liu Chang's presence brings out the artsy shots in anyone with a camera.

21:16-27:07

Sure, you won't invite him to the party, but as soon as you need his skills its all "come to the planning meeting, Liu Sang". He's so clearly being treated as a hired outsider and not part of the team. Sigh. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

@kholran already made a great post about the amount of posture mirroring going on between Liu Sang and Zhang Qiling here, including a frankly adorable bit at 22:56 where you can watch him notice that Zhang Qiling's posture has changed and changes his to match.

Note that Liu Sang is wearing his cuddliest outfit of the whole show, this drapey linen number. SO SOFT. It goes very well with a pouty face.

29:30-32:08

Trying to look casual while secretly being part of a planned abduction, check.

LOOK AT THIS MAN IN SUNLIGHT. LOOK AT HIM. Also, his clear delight in helping tip Pangzi over is adorable.

Wu Xie, on the other hand, is worthy of being caught and lowered gently

Is it weird to bond with your new boyfriend over the unconscious body of your old boyfriend? Asking for a friend.

*Please feel free to use any of the screencaptures from these LSWG posts for your own purposes - crediting is appreciated but optional.

Gifset posts from this episode:

Back from clearing land mines by @kholran

Pangzi faint vs Wu Xie faint by @kholran

Knockouts Pingxiesang style by @kholran

Bonding over Wu Xie by @minmoyu

Next time: CHASE SCENE CHASE SCENE CHASE SCENE

Link to part 10

#dmbj #the lost tomb reboot #liu sang #liu sang watcher's guide

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what-breaks-my-heart · 3 years

Text

부담스럽다 (Burdensome)

Burdensome. If I have to choose ONE word to describe episodes 9 and 10 of Doom at Your Service, it’s ‘burdensome’. The story is burdensome on Tak Dong Kyung, her family, Myul Mang, the deity, Na Ji Na, Cha Joo Ik, Lee Hyun Kyu, and even myself as a viewer.

As I pointed out in my first piece of opinion on this drama when I first started it, the literal title — One Day, through the Entrance of My House, Doom Came in — reflects the experience of the character whose perspective we are seeing, i.e., Dong Kyung, through her grief. Her experience so far, is in line with the 5 Stages of Grief Model.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

This post by @captainstarkky elaborated at length on this, so I recommend checking it out.

Episodes 9 and 10 made me realise that Dong Kyung is not the only one who feels burdened in this drama. From the very beginning, we saw how Dong Kyung has this tendency of giving in and not speaking what’s truly in her mind, because she does not want to be a burden to other people.

She does this not only to strangers, but also to those who love her. Why? Is it because she lacks self-esteem? Is it because she’s still grieving over the death of her parents and her status as an orphan who does not have anyone to rely on? Is it because of her self-assumed responsibility to take care of her little brother? Is it because her aunt Kang Soo Ja who raised her and her little brother was herself financially struggling, hence the motivation to not become a burden on those who love her?

We saw how anytime someone showered Dong Kyung with love or compassion, she looked awkward and uncomfortable, just like when Aunt Soo Ja tried putting on a hat on her.

Quite a number of people around Dong Kyung noticed this. Funnily enough, her walking on eggshells around them made those people walk on eggshells around her too.

Dong Kyung feeling like a burden to the people around her makes those people to be uncomfortable around her, which in itself is a burdensome feeling to have. Her feeling like a burden makes them feel burdened.

Dong Kyung’s refusal to be completely honest with her loved ones, to tell them what’s really on her mind, hurts them more than the actual tragedy that has befallen onto her.

You see here how Dong Kyung understands that the look on someone’s eyes is also a way of communicating without actually talking about it out loud; it’s to be understood and accepted as a way of communication. Thinking back at how difficult it must had been for Aunt Soo Ja to raise both Dong Kyung and Sun Kyung, Dong Kyung must had seen and understood the frustration Aunt Soo Ja had over the years.

So it’s understandable how Dong Kyung goes on believing that communicating only through the look on someone’s eyes is a perfectly sufficient way of communicating. She assumed a burdensome responsibility by herself when she was 10 only years old, and what you learn at such a young age becomes part of your identity.

What Dong Kyung fails to appreciate is the difference between other people’s feelings and what they choose to do with them. Is it a surprise though? She grew up feeling like a burden, so she wouldn’t have been able to understand it.

Feelings come and go. You don’t have complete control over them. As we live our lives, it is completely normal to experience all sorts of feelings. But what makes us human is having the free will to choose what we want to do with them. Dong Kyung’s friends and family can see how hurt Dong Kyung is, but they choose to respect her decision to keep a happy face in front of them.

Aunt Soo Ja is arguably the one person who has seen Dong Kyung’s struggle the most. But what did she choose to do? She embraces Dong Kyung with warm, comforting love, pretending to not know about her struggle.

As @fierycavalier said in one of her numerous tags, when Aunt Soo Ja put not one, but THREE winter accessories which she bought in Canada on Dong Kyung, she did it in a way that you could observe that she physically put the weight of her love over the years around Dong Kyung like a warm blanket so there’s no way Dong Kyung could ignore it.

It’s like the saying, “if you don’t have anything good to say, then say nothing at all”. More often than not, when someone you love is grieving over something, the only thing you can do is just to be there for them in silence, letting them feel your warm presence — whether in person or in spirit — while giving them the space to process their feelings as they grieve.

Nevertheless, this does not mean that it is healthy for someone to keep suppressing what’s on their mind all the time. Not saying their feelings out loud caused Joo Ik, Hyun Kyu, and Ji Na to be entangled in the situation they have been in for the past nine years. As a result, they have been feeling burdened by their past, unable to move on.

We can safely conclude that Dong Kyung, her family, her colleagues, Myul Mang, Na Ji Na, Cha Joo Ik, Lee Hyun Kyu feel even more burdened than they would have theoretically feel had they chosen to be honest and talk about their feelings instead of pretending to be okay.

As they walk on eggshells around each other, cautious not to burden and hurt the other’s feelings, they paradoxically hurt and burden them anyway.

Funny how things come full circle as they try to avoid it in the first place.

Now, that itself feels burdensome.

p/s: I am so sad that my method of embedding Tumblr gifs in my post is currently not working. Otherwise, I would have embedded gifs from @belsmultifandommess which I requested the other day in this post. Do visit the gifset 1, 2, 3, 4 and have fun using your imagination to guess which exact gifs I would have embedded in and where in the post I would place them.

#doom at your service #kdrama #kdrama opinion #while most of my previous essays ended in a hopeful tone I chose a burdensome ending for this #because I can feel my heart heavy with burden as I'm writing this #interestingly I feel less burdened now that I've put this into words

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