#it's so frustrating. im proud to be creating but i end up having so much shit.
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why does being an artist so often mean accumulating stuff 🙃
#rei rambles#i wanna keep a record of everything ive created but there's SO MUCH STUFF#and this is just the DIGITAL stuff omg#i find myself wanting to keep the dumb videos i made in my gr11 commtech class cuz it's part of my repertoire#but also like. it takes up space man. T.T#and this is on me but it's hell to organize#i have canvases im not even sure im ever actually gonna paint on since my bfa ended............#it's so frustrating. im proud to be creating but i end up having so much shit.#even artists who use nature to make stuff and then let their pieces deteriorate need to keep documentation photos#sometimes i feel like being an artist is just leaving a trail of crap behind me as i walk forward in life#u just see the pages of fanart doodles on the backs of notes and discarded dollarama canvases and ur like 'ah rei's been here'#the flip side to having something that says 'ive been here and i made this' is the inevitable trail of proof that youve visited#im so tired of figuring out my hard drives#i have 4gb worth of files i need to wade through in order to find stuff i can maybe put in a portfolio#how do archivists do it. someone tell me their secrets.
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ok but that alt timeline Ghetsis Wins idea is kind of growing on me already. i think it would be extremely funny And extremely sad. ok im putting the following under a readmore cuz it ended up being longer than i had intended
im picturing N looking dejected while sitting at whatever serene place he likes to spend his time nowadays--maybe chargestone cave now that it’s a perfect place without humans, maybe some quiet forest clearing. powerless arceus and the creation trio are with him, small and plain-looking, but still alive and well. he is lost in thought, and he is feeling glum.
indeed, having experienced some human interactions, some connections (though feeble), and having begun to crave a worthy opponent to his convictions, he has now ultimately gone back to square one. it looks like he really did not belong among humans who are, for all their complexities, just as cruel and thoughtless as he was led to believe. not even others from team plasma are exempt from that; now that their part is done, they are all simply part of the kneeling, groveling masses put in their rightful place.
but what makes him different? and what makes ghetsis different? their dreams aligned in their outcome, as humans lost their hegemony and pokemon are now all free and perfect beings, but the meaning behind those dreams diverged significantly. many pokemon had to be hurt in order to achieve this. the ones that worked hard among team plasma, the ones ghetsis has stolen divinity from. N’s hands are not clean.
and what is ghetsis even going to do with this power? will he create something out of nothing? will he change something small yet fundamental about this world, causing it to become unrecognizable? or is standing so far above the rest of humanity all that he ever wanted? now he is untouchable, untarnishable by scorn, and needs no pity. is he going to be an absent god, only taking any interest in the mechanisms and their inhabitants on a rare whim? arceus says that for a being separate from all other things such attitude is inevitable. well, then--N once again finds himself stuck, as ghetsis is no such thing in his eyes. maybe back when N was very little and understood very little, and futilely looked up to his father in unquestioning adoration. oh, of course, N loves him, that has not changed and can’t ever change, but ascending to godhood has only made ghetsis seem all the more fallible and corporeal and ordinary. more human than ever before. gods are supposed to be beyond one’s understanding, and N feels like he sees and understands the man more clearly now than ever before. all the greed and uncertainty and overjoyed erratic rambling. far too human.
arceus also says that to be in control of all things is to be in control of nothing. now that arceus is but a simple moving part of this chaotic and fragile world, it feels proud of the little control that it has, the space it takes up, the ownership it has over its very own cosmologically tiny and insignificant body. but that is easy for arceus to say--N is keenly aware of the fact that ghetsis never felt safe or in control within his own body, with all the ways it could fail him.
so what is N meant to do now? enjoy all the things that finally are as they should be, he supposes. he, however, is as lonely, as powerless, as frustrated by the limitations of his own mind as he was before. as an individual, he has gained nothing, if making new pokemon friends is to be excluded here. he feels very unloved, and it stings particularly badly to feel very specifically and pointedly unloved by god. although, yes, N sees the undeniable humor in this. “god can’t even decide if he’s my real dad. god didn’t feel like spending too much time around me, so he had my sisters look after me, and i can’t blame them if they resent me for it. god used to give me so many gifts, so many toys and books and art supplies and whatever else i desired, so long as it would fit inside the room i was confined to. god seems weirdly threatened by me sometimes, and it makes me wonder what i could’ve possibly done to him. god likes it when we have some interests in common, but only when he’s better and more knowledgeable at them. god used to like playing chess with me because he always won. god is very scared and alone, and so am i, but i don’t know if we could ever relate to each other. god is educated and clever, but he is also really, really, really stupid sometimes, so stupid that it startles me. god is never going to therapy at this rate, is he”, and so on.
N doesn’t think anyone, any creature, should reign over another. giratina says that all beings and ideas have their equivalent opposite, and all reactions have a response, and so, ironically, someone has to rule over all else to ensure there are no rulers and subjects. palkia concurs--when left to its own devices, all matter succumbs to forces of gravity and clumps together, and nothing is left evenly distributed. dialga adds that all repeating cycles are an act of mercy.
arceus doesn’t say anything. N wonders if it’s embarrassed that its children seem to know more than it does.
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Do you ever feel bad about your art? I've tried drawing before, but it never looked good so I just quit
OUGH SOMETIMES TBH....... though id kinda say thats part of the drawing process 💔💔
for me theres two types of "feeling bad" abt my art; the first being more imposter syndrome-y where i just kinda feel guilty over the amount of recognition i get when theres so many artists that i think are better and deserve it more than i do and other things along that line
the second one (and probably more universal) is, ofc, the feeling that ur art kinda sucks sometimes. honestly its very rare for a drawing to turn out the way i had originally envisioned because i simply do not have the skills to pull it off, which sucks!! and honestly, alot of the time i just try pushing through despite me hating the way the drawing looks. usually ill still post it even if i hate it, because in a way i think its kinda important to let myself be bad at art, and my blog was never meant to be used as a portfolio anyway, so why not post the things im less proud of aswell? especially since the communities im part of are rather niche, and i feel as though even if the quality is bad, someone might still be happy to see it!
so i let myself not be perfect with my art, as i feel being stuck on the same piece is only going to stagnate my growth and make me frustrated. not to mention the drawing usually only ends up looking Worse the more i try to fix it, and me posting a drawing is basically me putting a full stop to working on the drawing, forcing me to move on to something else and try again
art doesnt always look good!! and it most DEFINITELY is never perfect, but i also kinda find beauty in that yknow?? especially when uve been drawing for a while, its always fun to look back and see ur progress! its fun to see ur missteps and how u managed to improve!
ive mentioned it before, but the sole reason i even created this account was so that i Would improve my art. i didnt really have much going on so i thought id genuinely try my hands at art again, which i had grown less passionate about the years prior. this blog is me sharing what ive created, no matter how amateurish it is, no matter my ups and downs, because i believe that will help me grow in the end! ive posted numerous attempts at various styles (moreso rendering styles) to see what i think suits me and what i find most pleasure in, aswell as my art style in general being rather stylized (the simplistic faces for example), figuring out what ways of drawing made me happy and what didnt through trial and error!
the first step is always the hardest, but its better than no step at all! so if you wanna draw, just go for it! its ok for it to look bad! keep trying various styles and methods until you find one that makes you happy!! its ok to be inconsistent!!
#having ur art journey documented online is all fun and games until u remember ur old ugly as fuck art is still available for everyone to see#But u dont have the heart to delete them because that would ruin the purpose of why i started doing this to begin with#so i just gotta SUCK IT UP.#ITS OK TO BE BAD!!!!! WE ALL SUCK SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!! ITS OK!!!!!!!!!!#ask#no matter the quality all art is valuable............. this is what i believe
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i lied actually. just realized i still had micron pens from literally like five years ago. i am fucking shocked they still work, wtf are these things made of? they've just been sitting on my desk for five years rotting away. well, whatever. finished mikoto.
it is odd, going back to art after not touching the subject for a long period of time. it feels like everything you do is worse, that you've missed your prime and the knowledge of how to draw slips through the cracks in your fingers the more you try to hang onto it.
i never learned how to draw characters. my art teachers were strictly against it, thus i only ever really learned realism. could shade a cube or any geometric shape in my sleep at this point, but thats not really helping me draw anime characters much, now is it?
and its especially frustrating having grown up with solely traditional art because it feels like it could never compare to what people post digitally now. well, art isn't a competition in the end, so i suppose it's useless to compare it so much, but you get what im saying, don't you? it's rare to look at a pencil piece of a character and have that same wow factor you get from digital art. not that people don't do it, of course, there are many many many talented artists out there that could draw with things that aren't even meant for art and create a masterpiece.
in the end, this is merely another drop in the bucket. an art piece everyone forgets about, myself included. i am glad i took the time out my day to do something like this, though, and i am unbelievably proud of myself for being able to post something like this publically. it is something i could have never dreamed of doing two years ago. now, im past the point of worrying-- who cares anymore? i like what i like, so i post what i like.
it is average -- maybe even below it -- but it is mine.
#sorry for fucking ranting on a milgram fanart post#just look at the little guy and move on ig#milgram#milgram fanart#milgram mikoto#mikoto kayano
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Hey mods, I'm kinda new to this. Do you think you could fill me in on what the AU is about if it's not much trouble? The pinned link isn't really working
(( just one mod here! the link isnt working?? is it a mobile app thing bc it works when i do it on my laptop. maybe try the browser? regardless, I'll try again [here] ( you can also just go straight to my blog and click on "About the AU" ) but if it still doesnt work for you, i've put a summary of the au below anyway:
in the 1940's, joey drew uses ink machine to create the perfect bendy from the cartoons but they all come out imperfect. the failed rejects are shoved into the basement of the studio out of sight during his attempts. our bendy is the eighth clone. he takes out his frustrations on the flawed clones in various ways. he tries again and again until he gets the perfect one, which is the 66th attempt. joey drew is proud of his perfect creation, but 66 while looking pure and perfect on the outside is quite fucked up on the inside, which he hides from joey drew and everyone. he doesnt hide it from the other bendys which he constantly terrorizes when he's alone with them.
one day, 66 out of boredom or some other reason, decides to start some chaos. he was sick of joey drew the most so he killed him first to start it off, then he turned his attention to the other bendys, which he managed to consume a few of. the bendys are made of a special ink that makes 66 stronger. 66 is the only bendy to have ink demon and ink manipulation powers, consuming the other bendys makes these powers greater and changed his appearance. using his new and stronger powers, he trapped everyone inside the studio and corrupted everything with ink, making a new dimension separate from their world. this large ink monster swollen with ink was called the ink amalgamation, 66's new form. survivors paired up, split up, got into groups, stuff like that. the bendys were hunted down by the ink amalgamation and sammy, who decided to team up with him ig, until one remained, our bendy.
stuff happened, this bendy was captured and swallowed up, but he managed to force out all the ink from the other bendys from the ink amalgamation, which made it angry. all 63 of the previous bendy clones were now just a large puddle of ink. the ink amalgamation, now with lesser powers and back to his 66 form, tried to swallow up our bendy himself, but instead was the one that got absorbed into our bendy, which gave him the new ink powers. with the studio no longer corrupted, everyone was free to go. while 5 years were spent inside the studio, over 40+ years passed in the outside world, which would be about 2002 or something idk. a few years later, the old studio was mysteriously burnt down and the new studio was built on top of it. the ink vomit puddle, which bendy calls it, containing all 63 other bendys, resides in the basement of the new studio and is watched over. the puddle remains inactive but shows some signs of moment every now and then. im unsure of the year this blog takes place, but idk maybe i'll just make it 2023 bc the year really doesnt matter.
( theres a lot of details and events i'm leaving out in this summary but is included in the actual page for it. )
yeah, ik this au is a mess, stuff doesnt make sense, has lots of unanswered questions, and it sounds stupid to me just typing it out rn but.... it's still a wip so maybe in the end i'd end up changing the au entirely. i definitely wanna change it but i can't think of anything... in the end all i want is to just have bendy do whatever he wants in a big city ))
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it’s late and i’m awake so it’s thought-having time
i will say as fun as iswm is, i am really disappointed with mark’s attitude toward storytelling. this isn’t just me being butthurt about no real lore expansion or anything, but as a writer, it’s frustrating to see how he approached dropping hints when he clearly had no intention to follow through
(sorry for no cut im on mobile 💙)
like leaving clues and leads and references to a much larger narrative throughout the whole first part only to basically throw them in the garbage in the second is just poor storytelling. also his attitude of legitimately pointing and laughing at us for thinking there would be something more when HE HIMSELF made it clear in the story that THAT was where he was going?
that’s not a plot twist, that’s just... pointless. and it’s even kind of mean, if i am completely honest - it makes the audience feel stupid for picking up on the very clues that you laid out, sir. what is the point of making the references if you didn’t wanna do anything with them? just to bait and switch us? cause it’s… funny???? what about just WRITING A STORY that you’re proud of!!
now this isn’t me saying that everything mark does needs to be about THE LOOOOORE - first of all, wkm and the plot/characters/references are HIS he can do as much or as little as he wants with them!
he should ALSO be allowed to do entirely different projects without everyone roping them into a grander narrative, too. i cannot imagine the kind of pressure or expectation i’d feel if everyone was only paying attention to what i made if it was in one specific little universe or storyline - mark deserves to create as he chooses without us demanding it be a certain way.
that being said. a basic tenant of writing is following through. if you’re gonna reference a bigger frame narrative, you gotta DO something with that! what, you just lied about what was apparently a major guiding plot point??
it’s just kinda disappointing and doesn’t totally make sense why references are there in the first place. in fact, they kinda detract from the story of space itself, if they go nowhere. sure, he explains that these are all echoes of that story reoccurring in this universe because everything’s gone pear-shaped — but why is it echoing in the first place? why does that story echo so much LOUDER than any other, that it bleeds through so strongly? not making these references (if he wasn’t going to explain them in-story) would have left wayyyyyy more room for the plot of space to breathe, to more clearly reveal the paradox as it unfolded, and to give the payoff at the end that resolving it deserved. i mean, hell, if anyone noticed that our cryopod screen at the very end said INVINCIBLE and not INVINCIBLE II, i will eat my hat. there’s not even a frame-perfect look at the screen! there’s no room for the fact we ACTUALLY FIXED the paradox we weren’t truly aware of until the very end to really land!
anyway. i think i just mostly feel like that space was super ambitious, and really impressive in what it tried to weave together. mark tried to balance lore references to feed the audience he’s cultivated while ALSO trying to do something much larger and grander. unfortunately, he ended up kind of hamstringing telling a new story by focusing too much on the old. which ends up making both, ultimately, kind of unsatisfying. i’m just gonna say… you shouldn’t have to do a massive explainer video for the plot of your movie a week after it airs - people should largely understand the story watching it the first or second time through. it can still be convoluted and as complicated as the bootstrap paradox is, but it won’t ultimately hit home as hard as it could if you don’t set it up and pay it off pretty carefully
and one last time - this isn’t to say mark SHOULDN’T have tried to rope the lore in. hell, it has super fun implications for the grand scheme of things (WHY is this story echoing so massively through the multiverse that randos end up repeating its hallmarks?). it ALSO isn’t to say that anyone who enjoyed it is wrong or dumb or anything like that. i loved it a lot!!
but, personally, the way it ended up was unsatisfying, and personally, laughing at your audience for thinking you were going to do the very thing you really obviously set up to do is just weak storytelling at best and insulting to your audience’s intelligence at worst
tldr love space a lot, its own story is SUPER COOL but because of the lore going nowhere, it’s got some hella weak spots and mark’s attitude toward them rubs me the wrong way
#do i dare to tag this#yeah I’m gonna do it fuck it#markiplier#in space with markiplier#in space with markiplier part 2#iswm#iswm 2#pls fandom don’t let me regret this#ramblings
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Art ask for 2, 24, and 21? :)
Also I hate to sound like a broken record player, but again happy birthday yo! Get your favorite food and vibe if possible :)
Thanks for the birthday wishes!! At the end of my day I received some homemade sesame candies so that made me very happy! (o:
2. 5 favorites of your own work?
These have to top 5 from this year! All of these pieces are close to my heart for different reasons
The cosmic clown felt so therapeutic to draw, and animate. Was possessed and did it all in one sitting... while rewatching the Lost series which feels like a fever dream but makes me proud nonetheless !
My alien guy Lamoske is a loooong time oc that deserves more love, but his design is complex and tough to draw :'D But I managed to accurately get his side profile down so that's a victory!!
The paint demon and connie have quickly become two dear characters, and this piece of them brings me a calm feeling. Also makes me wish I had cool colored tiles in my shower too damn
Khal's color scheme is like pure indulgence. He was made quickly and without much thought but for some reason grew on me like a parasite LOL but I love him.
Now the piece in the bottom right that I haven't posted yet technically as its part of a comic I'm planning on releasing all together once it's finished! It took forever because its pixels. Like it might be torture, but tiny pixel details bring fourth some sorta passion from me
21. Weirdest thing you've ever drawn?
oh god well Im not sure any of those drawings are fit for anyone eyes but I do have some pieces that I've made to make friends or family laugh that ended up looking like abomations. I made a comic awhile back based off the game Valhiem. But yeah I was prompted to make it after playing it with my brother enough times to despise the blue orges that are basically giant versions of certain cheeto man we shall not name
24. How do you deal with artblock?
Well first I open the door to the void and politely ask the endless space-time continuum to fix my artblock and free me lol. But in all seriousness I try my best to shake it off but sometimes its more complicated and challenging. Something that helps is stepping away from any works in progress pieces that are frustrating me. Usually what follows is me creating a new piece of art that is letting those emotions of frustration out, freely and without expectation or premeditated design. I usually don't post them but the first Shades of Muse piece is actually one of those I ended up liking enough to post. But yeah I have a whole folder of them, I call them ladder pieces because they help me move upward again <3 !
#did my best to vibe today#thanks again for the good wishes !!#your ask was fun to answer#had to dig deep for that horrid drawing though#Hope you had a good day today too!#*honk honk*#answered ask
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hii its tattoo anon again <3 i just wanted to update you i loved cheols part of uts and cheol is one of my biases and i am so in love with his part!! i found this series almost a year ago and its bittersweet now that it has ended. i am so excited to see what comes next for the poly fic and your new works in general. i also hope that u saw my last message!! also i wanted to ask because idk if i didnt realize it or missed it but did you ever reveal who gave mouse the little stuffed mouse? if im not mistaken was it jeonghan? i have been wanting to figure out who it was but idk if i got it wrong lol. have a good day!
omg hi lovely!! i 100% saw ur last message and meant to respond and then. either forgot or got busy w school stuff, im blanking on which is it which probably just means it slipped my mind :( sorry!!
im literally gonna copy it over here and answer both this ask + the previous one to make it easier so uhh long response under the readmore !! i hope that's okay :(
okie dokie ill address this ask first
hi!!! you've been following the series since like... very close to the beginning then haha which is v v sweet and ill sob rn!!
i think i mentioned jeonghan working on the lil plush mouse during cheol UtS but didn't address it further, but yes! it was going to come up during poly fic at some point where he made all of the plushies for each person as a way of like. giving ppl comfort, esp when they show up & don't join the group at first (so that they have Something there w them, im the kind of person who needs something in my arms in order to sleep haha so that's where it's mainly coming from).
and for ur last ask:
hi its me again the tattoo anon LOL. i just wanted to reply to what you said and im so glad that i made you happy with what i said and i genuinely mean it. this is a little vulnerable but ever since i started liking svt i think a major reason why i love them so much is because they are a big group of friends and i have friends, but not that many so stanning svt in general is so comforting because of the closeness of all of them but finding this fic was like. a fucking dream for me because them being such a big close knit group and it being like the found family trope is perfect and the way you write and portray them is so comforting. genuinely i meant it when i said its one of my favorite things i have stumbled upon in my life, i have shared this story with my friends and they love it too and when we watch some edits of seventeen or see something in general that reminds us of this fic we say “this is so under the sun coded” and its like an inside joke with me and my friends. you literally changed the trajectory of my life with this fic lol. when im having a hard time in my personal life i come back to this little world u created by either just thinking about it before i fall asleep or rereading it and i want to thank you for being a writer. i hope you enjoy writing what you write bc i know that i certainly enjoy it and i hope you are proud of urself. anyway i think selling subtle stickers would be so awesome and i will definitely buy them. also since i submitted my last ask i have thought about little ideas for a tattoo maybe?? like what about like a small drawing of a church and like 13 little people around it with a little sun?!? or flowers like you said OR getting little drawings of the animals each person has? i think that would be so cute. or like maybe a little sash blindfold?? anyway ur awesome i love u thank u
the first time i tried to answer this ask, my long response ended up deleted bc i switched tabs for a second to check something and then tumblr just... deleted it??? which was v frustrating, kind of makes me hate the new post editor a Lot!
but to be vulnerable as well, i think i started writing UtS at like... a difficult point in my life? not difficult as in the painful way, but difficult as in 'there's a lot going on right now and i've never felt more alone than i do now' i guess? it's like... i started writing it right before my final semester of college, and i'm an online student, so i don't get to go out and be in a classroom with other people. sometimes i call myself an introvert when i think the term 'ambivert' has always fit more--i don't detest being social, i do tend to enjoy it! but i still need alone time to make up for it since it's draining. and idk, i was lost for a while on who i am and what i want to do with my life?
and i feel like writing UtS has put me in a vulnerable position to like... question a lot more about myself as a person. i have friends, sure, but no one i go out to see in person since i'm not exactly like... in a good place for that kind of interaction (deep south bible belt, haha... makes not being straight something i struggle with sometimes). i think the important part of UtS is the acceptance they all have for one another, and it's something i personally wish to have a lot more of in my offline life. i think even if i had the idea without darl+ing, it would have ended up being a svt fic due to how close they are and how much they care for one another.
also tbh i just love the found family trope. i love the idea and process of choosing your own family in a sense and saying 'these are MY people and i love them' ig.
also u showing the fic to ur friends + the comment abt being like 'this is UtS coded' ill SOB!!! i will!!! thats literally so cute and sweet of u!!! (pls feel free to send me any of ur 'this is UtS coded' thoughts i would always love to hear them haha)
but like. this is why i write. i like being able to impact people and help them escape life and be happy for a while. its why it always means a lot to me when i get feedback on my work and see people be happy with what i write (... even if sometimes its angsty haha--moving people to feel is a huge compliment by itself!). im glad you have UtS. im glad i have it now, too.
i do enjoy writing, btw, and i loved writing uts. even with the frustration periods where i didn't touch it for a while, i genuinely enjoyed writing uts a lot. i think i owe a lot of that to people like you, who read it and show support for the series! its always easier to read something when i know there's someone who will enjoy it. i remember smiling hard when i rewrote the ending to cheol uts bc of how fucking stoked i was to share it tbh!!! also bc i messaged savv 'lol this is gonna be devastating (/pos)' at one point i think sdkfhsdf but i was genuinely excited to finish it and get it out to u guys!! i dont know who i would be if i didn't write, and despite like... all of the bad shit that's happened in my life that i've turned to writing to pull myself out of it, i don't think i'd ever give it up. i think it's too deeply a part of me to ever give up. maybe one day i'll get published lol
ill definitely put more thought into subtle stickers for UtS (and maybe some other series haha cant remember if i mentioned that last time but UtS felt like the bigger one)! might have to ask around my friend circle for tips on designing them >:3
ohh i like ur tattoo ideas :0 im not sure what would look good so i hope u consult a tattoo artist with ur ideas eventually!! the idea of the lil church w a sun + 13 ppl is rly cute? if u do the sash-blindfold thing, u could always have a lyric inside of it or something if u wanna play w that :3c pls feel free to keep me updated further!!
sorry i didnt get to this ask until now but i hope u are doing well mwah mwah have a good day ur awesome ily
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rosieeee <3
i'm so glad to hear that your emulator is working!! hopefully your app will be able to fix itself or a patch is released because that sounds so awful and frustrating :(
i've tried to play it on my phone but it wouldn't load the game following the introductory battle JHXJSDCHSJ i remembering choosing the diasomnia house bc of pretty boy malleus lol they're all safe from my simping...for now >:)
aside from the game (how dare it do that to my moot?! about to throw some hands!!!), how have you been? anything new or exciting happen lately?
i've finally made it close to the end of my claude fic and i'm very excited to share it soon! i always have a hard time with dialogue, especially comforting dialogue bc im horrible with my words fvhsdch but i am very proud of how it's turning out!
take care rosie and hope to talk to you again soon!
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Eveee! Hi, hi <3
Emulators have come to the rescue once again XD I find myself using them when I can't play the games I really want, like if I don't have enough space on my phone or don't have the console to play.
I had that same problem when I started, although it was a bit into the prologue, where it wouldn't open anymore </3 I had to create a new account, but it wasn't much of a loss since I just started. I found out it was due to downloading in the background! I was able to get past it on my new account by sitting through the downloading screens, I'm not sure if they ever fixed it though fjdbdk on my first account I chose Malleus too LMAO(I like Maleficant a lot so that played into my choosing but- he's just so,,, so pretty,, it's not fair skskbfsk) on my current one I chose Azul from Octavinelle, HE'S ALSO SO PRETTY??? Tbh all of them are fkdbsjsoq despite choosing Mal and Azul, my favorite is Rook,,
(Also, how dare the game not allow you to experience the wonderful chaotic shenanigans of Twisted Wonderland!? Now that is something I just won't have 😡)
I've been doing well! Although I have also been really tired recently(despite that I found myself writing until 3 am just a night ago), I hope I can actually fix myself KFBSK There's not really anything new or exciting, but I do have a few things coming up! Got a picnic with my family on Sunday, a little nervous about it though, and I've been working on some requests and the next chapter for my aot AU! How have you been though, Eve? Do you have anything coming up or something you're looking forward to?
Sodsowl I'm so excited to read your Claude fic!! I, also, understand the pain of dialogue.. words in general are difficult XD it's hard finding what is right or is the best for the moment. I'm happy you're confident about this fic though!! I shall be on the look out for it <33
Take care as well, Eve!! I hope you have a great day ♡
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— felix as ur bf (random headcanons)
pairing: felix x gn!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none other than maybe some slip ups and just poorly written fluff, not proofread, lower case intended!!!
a/n: i'm just bored and need to post so i decided to make this at like 3AM 😩🤝🏻 genuinely dont knownwhat i was writing here but i went with the flow so 😞
ok lets completely disregard the fact that felix is my ult and i am absolutely whipped for him.
he doesn't sleep early at night especially if he had a bad day at practice or made a lot of mistakes while trying to memorize the choreography to one of their new songs,
so he usually stays up for a little while playing video games on his PC while you sleep over at the dorms.
you're most likely there sitting on his lap, sleeping peacefully while your boyfriend tries to restrain himself from raging and absolutely destroying his expensive keyboard </3
(p.s he has a keyboard that lights up. most likely rainbow cuz idk HE GIVES OFF THOSE VIBES.)
the first time you sat on his lap while he was playing games he just fell in love with that idea
the feeling of your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rest your head in the crook of his neck is just :(( y/n ure making him feel so loved :((
he's just rlly comfortable and feels at peace.
also when he feels a bit too overwhelmed or just frustrated he stops the game for a little while and wraps his arms around you tightly while inhaling your scent :((
he feels better right away <33
but you dont know that bcuz ure ✨asleep✨
but if he's feeling particularly tired he just plays on his phone
while you're both in bed, cuddling <33
PLUSHIES !! you guys collect a bunch of plushies <3
he likes plushies a lot so if u like plushies too you guys are just a perfect duo. you two are always on a look out for stuffed animals,
felix keeps a bunch of cents in his pockets just in case u find something.
if one of u spots a claw machine outside while you're going out or during an arcade date you're going to drop whatever you were doing before and literally run, leap, fly towards its direction.
"Y/N A CLAW MACHINE !!!!" "OH MY GOD GOGOOGOGO RUN FELIX GO DONT LET THE KID GET THERE BEFORE WE DO"
you two are competitive as hell when it comes to winning a stuffed animal & believe me felix doesnt go easy on you
especially if youre a sour loser cuz he teases you a lot.
it starts off with u two being competitive but ends with the both of you basically throwing all of your money away just to get a single plushie.
one time u hogged the claw machine for a little too long and you didnt even notice the line of kids waiting for the two of u to finally leave for good.
yeah... ure banned from using the claw machine at one of the arcades ... 😬✋🏻
he also lays his head on your lap... a lot.
he just loves feeling close to you so if he's sleepy and wants cuddles he usually just lays his head on your thighs (no matter the shape or size cuz we love all kinds of thighs here, love <3) , grabs your hand and plays with ur fingers.
you already get the message so you're quick to get up and move to the bedroom to cuddle
but if you don't get the message then he starts pouting and sighing dramatically, waiting for u to take the hint
but if ure still not budging then he just lifts you up and quite literally throws you onto the bed so you two can cuddle
(one time u bounced off the bed and hurt your arm... felix almost cried...)
he grumbles a bunch of incoherent words while getting under the covers
squeezes the living soul out of you the second he's under the covers. like ure literally left soulless.
HE'S LITERALLY A HUMAN HEATER SO BEWARE WHEN U CUDDLE IN THE SUMMER !!!
felix doesnt rlly have a favorite position to cuddle in, he likes any and every.
he loves being the big spoon, he loves being the small spoon
but he also rlly loves cuddling face-to-face <33 or maybe ur head buried in his chest :((
loves placing kithes all over your face or pecking your lips during cuddle sessions.
yeah... he's a sucker for physical contact 😚😚
he's also SO whipped for you you don't even understand.
everyone around him can tell that he absolutely adores you and everything you do
one time jeongin mentioned how utterly in love he was and how "disgusting & painful" it was to watch you two interact 😔
and felix was low-key like HELL YEAH IM WHIPPED AND IM PROUD !!!
doesnt care if anyone points out how much he loves u & doesn't deny it either bcuz YEAH!! HE DOES INDEED LOVE U VERY MUCH!!! WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!!
he also gives the best presents !
he just always knows what to buy anyone he's very close with and the list ofc includes you :D bcuz youre his lover mwuah <3
buys you the best birthday presents, anniversary presents, holiday presents.
it's because he's observant !!
especially when it comes to you. if you eye an expensive outfit that you can't really afford at the moment or there's a fancy restaurant you want to go to, he will keep it in the back of his mind and will take it into consideration ;))
there doesn't have to be a special occurance for felix to surprise you with a present !!
even if the present he's getting you is pretty expensive its still for u and he wants to make u feel as appreciated and as loved as he can. so wasting money on you is never a problem as long as you're happy :((
the fact that he is observant also comes in handy a lot, because he can tell when you're uncomfortable by the small changes in the way you act like the furrowing of your eyebrows or you shift even closer to him, etc.
if it's a public space or an event where you have to socialize and interact with others and he notices you feeling uncomfortable he will take you to a less crowded place to give u a bunch of kisses and reassure you that everything will be just fine <3
he also knows what you like and dislike very well, so it's easier to avoid any arguments in your relationship.
virtual dates !!
he takes you on a bunch of dates on minecraft, roblox, animal crossing etc.
the dates usually happen while he's away on a tour and you two really miss each other </3
the first time he went on a tour he just really really really missed you and your voice
so he called you on discord and suggested that you play minecraft together. you created a new world and just started everything from the scratch.
so every time felix goes on tour you guys call on discord, get on minecraft and add new things to your world <33
your world includes but is not limited to: a huge pink mansion with a pretty backyard filled with flowers, a dog named "seungmo" and a cat named "lino" (as felix suggested you named them ✋🏻)
he once told you that one day you two are gonna get married (if you're willing to ofc) and live a perfect life just like in your minecraft world :((
even tho it was over the top to assume that you two would live in a gigantic pink mansion, it was still endearing and it made your heart melt <3
he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he knows you're the one :(
#felix x reader#lee felix#felix#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#felix x gn!reader#lee felix x reader#skz imagines#skz reactions#stray kids headcanons#skz headcanons#felix as your boyfriend#lee felix x reader fluff#felix x reader fluff#skz fluff#stray kids fluff
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Superman's Dishcloth
A small cute headcannon thats been sitting on my tablet?
Summary: some people use pick up lines to get a womans number, henry uses a crochet lesson.
Warnings: Fluff?
Your fingers twisted the yarn around the hook automatically looping and pulling untill you made another double crochet stitch that the pattern required.
To be honest you wasnt paying that much attention as you worked your project, which was stupid really because you were making a new pattern, a bobble popcorn style head band.
You couldnt concentrate for two reasons
One. You were on a goddamned plane soaring across the Atlantic ocean. And if things went tits up you cant swim.
And two? You were seated next to none oher then mr henry cavill himself.
Not that you made a thing about it or even dared to look at him.
He he was watching you, eyes frowning as your fingers twisted the yarn into an intricate looking yet fairly simple pattern.
Youhad to stifle a laugh as his fingers twitched tryig to follow the moves and figure out what you were doing.
You growled missing count again. One, two, three three, skip three. A crochet, half double crochet, two double crochet in one stitch then skip three stitches and repeat untill the end.
Normally youd have no problems but your audience was putting you off.
You dropped the project in your lap as you miscounted again and realised you had to undo the last twelve stitches otherwise you'd be a set out on the end.
You closed your eyes grunting before slipping the hook out and began to tug the working yarn slowly before pinching it and slipping the hook into the loop catching it before it all unraveled.
"Why'd you undo it?" You jumped a little as the huge man beside you spoke up after watching you quietly since take off.
"Huh?... oh i misscounted i skipped four instead of three so it'd be out of line on the end and curl round..."
"How'd you know?" He frowned now leaning over even more curious then before.
You chewed your lip trying not to freak out as he peered over your little project.
"Err well i just counted the stiches i had left on the row, see i was up to here and there was five left not six, so i pulled it taught to spot the odd one out" you explained pulling more yarn through so you could point out the stitches to him with the hook.
"It looks complicated, you twist it so many times?" He said as your fingers began moving once more creating the repetitive pattern.
"Yeah... its not too difficult, Im doing a few different stitches is all, once you know a single crochet stitch and a chain stitch your good to go" You muttered with a smile.
"I doubt its that simple" he replied trying to keep up with watching your fingers guiding the hook jthought the piece making the fabric grow.
"It really is, here you see the little v on top?" You said slowing deciding to show him just how simple it was.
"Yeah?" He hummed quietly watching keenly.
"Thats the row before, so you slip your hook under both strands like this and loop your yarn over then pull through under that v so you have one loop on your hook" you said moving slowly and loosened the stitch with a light wiggle so he could see properly.
"Then loop the yarn over again so you have two loops, and pull the second one through the first... and thats a single crochet stitch" You explained showing him slowly.
"So you make lots of tiny loops and pull them through one another and it some how becomes fabric?" He asked fascinated by it, watching as you began to work on the next stitch.
"Yeah pretty much"
"But that one you pulled the wool over before you did anything at all?" You paused impressed he had noticed the slight difference... he had been watchkn that closely?
"So that was a half double, when you do a half double or double you yarn over first, then you just keep yarning over and pulling through until your left with one loop on the hook" you tried explaining as simply as you could.
"... it still sounds hard" he uttered still focusing on your hands that had been creating stitches.
"Honestly its not, i taught myself in about an hour and a half? Here try it? I've got extra yarn in my carry on if you want to give it a go?" You offered and instantly flushed you did not just offer to teach superman how to crochet like a fucking granny!
Before you could take it back and apologise he beamed.
"Really? That would be fun, i've never tried anything like this before" he said eagerly.
"Err yeah sure lemme just get you started, i'll give you a 5 hook... here" you said surprized digging about pulling the small ergonomic crochet hook out and some mustard yellow yarn.
"So you start with a slipknot... and then a few chain stitches" you began guiding him through it slowly teaching him the steps.
"So do you always crochet on long flights?" He asked pokeing his tongue out as he tried concentrating on the stitches he was doing.
"Yeah, im not good with confined spaces... especially confide spaces that are a good few miles in the air over the open ocean" you chuckled nervously chaining a stitch then turning begining your next row.
"Honestly im not either, usually i have kal- my dog but... not this time... this is good though, its helping take my mind off it thank you" he said sincerly.
"Dont mention it"
"Oh... i think ive done it wrong?" He said andnheld it out to you, you prodded it and to be honest you were impressed, it was neat, not a dropped stitch in sight... just a few loose stitches here and there, but he was finding a good tension.
"No, thats not wrong... just your tension thats all it comes with practice" you said handing it back to him.
"Tension?" He said making you pause. Oh yeah, he wouldnt knpw what that is yet.
"Yeah, how tight you hold the yarn and hook determies how tight your stitches are... mines pretty bad, i have to always use a size bigger hook" you expalined simply
"Really?"
"Yep, i do it too tight- even snapped a metal hook in my hand before" you chuckled remebering the way the hook had just... snapped mid project.
"Wow that sounds painfull?" He huffed eeingnyour hand curiously as if expecting you to snap a hook then and there.
"Yeah, i will admit i was frustrated with the project so it probably didnt help" you chuckled sheepishly.
"Frustrated? Was it complicated like that one?" He asked nodding to your growing head band.
"No, i kept loosing count on a pattern of 78 stitches" you said trying to wave it off but in actual fact that project had been murder.
"So what are you making?" He finally asked eyeingnyour work that had grown wider.
"A little headband, and hopefully i will widen it at the ears to keep em warm" you giggled wrapping it around pinchingnthe ends together proudly presenting it to him.
He grinned and looked down at his little square fiddling with it.
"And im making a... mess?" He laughed holding up the uneven square cheeks tinted pink when you giggled again.
"... Dishcloth?" You offered prodding it gently.
"Perfect, im making a dishcloth!" He bellowed nodding proud of his new diy dish cloth.
"I'm henry by the way. But from the way you were shaking in your seat im guessing you knew?" He finally introduced himself holding out a hand.
You smiled shyly and took it shakingnhands trying not to fawn over how huge hot and soft the palm was.
"Yeah... sorry i was nervous and you probably dont want to be bugged. Im y/n" you tried explaining nervously but he chuckled.
"I wouldnt mind being bugged by such a cutie~" he uttered quietly smirking at you tipping his head down a little too make sure you heard him despite his voice being quiet.
"Oh stop it" you flushed quickly looking down at your headband noticing your stitches werent as even as they could have been, but it couldnt be helped you had handsome distraction.
A very distracting handsome distraction.
"Its true. Besides i think it was me bugging you... and i have managed to plunder through your wool" he grinned sheepishly holding up his little dishcloth.
"Its fine, it not expensive, this is left over yarn from other projects" you waved him off. It was true ou had lots of odd ends and half skeins of woll from other projects.
"Well still i appreciate it, i hate flying" he said sincerly.
"Well now you have something to practice. Youll leave the plane with a new skill to stick on your cv" you added with a grin nudging him playfully.
"Indeed... And perhaps i can leave the p,ane with err...maybe your number to? You know to replace the wool and erm swap err instructions?" He said nervously jumbling his words.
You paused and looked at him shocked blinking. Did he just?
You blinked again watching as his face grew red and he chuckled nerously plucking at the woll on his dishcloth.
"Well i suppose every student needs to be able to contact theor teacher~ and these instructions are called patterns" you smiled to him nodding slowly.
"Right right i knew that of course they're patterns" he chuckled grinning ear to ear relived you hadnt turned him down.
"Well we have a good few hours, perhaps a few more lessons for my little student?" You teased picking up the pattern to show him some of the abbreviations. Mostly to try and concentrate on somthing other then the fact superman had just asked for your number... and was taking crochet lessons.
"Of course" he said excited eyes glittering with glee whilst looking at the small page.
#henry cavill#oh for fic sake headcannon#fluff#my ovaries demand fluff#henry cavill x reader#henry cavill headcannon
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Revolutions Always Fall
You should've learned from L'Manburg. The Butcher Gang was a mistake.
- REQUESTED!
- I tried to put 2 requests in one here.
- its really long 🤧🤞🏽
Prompts!
13) "You made me lose all my faith and trust in you"
38) "They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”
47)“Are you satisfied now...?”
⚠︎ memtions of blood, voilence, fighting, swearing, Technoblade's execution episode. Angst.
Masterlist!
Dear Technoblade,
I wont make the same mistakes again
- an old friend. ♤
Technoblade was always a threat, and you learned that from L'Manburg. You had befriended him when he joined Pogtopia and very quickly you two seemed to click. He saw the world through different eyes and that intrigued you. You wanted to be him, live life the way he does it for just a day.
He was a killing machine, he was smart tactical, but still had the thirst for blood that made him be so smart and tacitcal with how he kills.
You on the other hand were not a big fan of killing, but this war was an exception. This war made you practice, it made you angry, it lit a fire underneath you that you didnt know you had. Along with the other members of Pogtopia, Technoblade helped you fight, how to wield a sword, knife, gun, anything that you can get your hands on you turned it into a weapon, you Soon enough you had mastered weapons and you werent so passive.
You questioned yourself if this was living through Technoblade, the need to fight, hunt, to protect. You felt poweful. As you hold your own crafted swords in your hand you know what you can do. You could do so much damage with this sword, he gave you that sword. It wasn't special at all but you made it special, because in your eyes it was.
"You can do so much with a sword, people just don't know how to use it to its fullest potential. They dont know their full potential either. But now you do."
Thats what he said to you in between those stone walls called Pogtopia.
After what he said to you had done so. Used the sword to your full potential, used anything to your full potential. You wanted to be more and more you became.
"You ready?" Technoblade smirked.
"Hell yeah Im ready to kill that bastard." You smiled
"Woah-oh! You weren't saying this a couple months ago."
"Schlatt deserves it. That's not L'Manburg. This is L'Manburg." You stretched out your arms to the others who were gathering armor and polishing their weapons for the battle yet to come.
You smiled knowing this will all end soon, you wouldn't be in a cave anymore, you wouldn't have to hide the fact that you knew where Wilbur was and that he was planning the attack, Pogtopia will be no more and L'Manburg would be back.
"L'Manburg will be back." You said while taking a sword out of a chest.
"Sure." You heard him scoff beside you.
"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked slightly offended. Wasn't he fighting for the same thing?
"I dont know. Revolutions always fall." He turned his back to you and walked away leaving you to your own thoughts.
You hated it. He was right, he was always right and you hated it. And everyone else did too, they knew he was right. It wasnt what the majority wanted, we wanted L'Manburg while he didn't want to be held by government in the first place. That's what he meant that day in Pogtopia.
L'Manburg, one defeated, was now growing once more. After the "end" of L'Manburg you couldn't forgive him. Your anger and the feeling of betrayal kept growing and growing everyday, every time you picked up that damned sword he gave you. It was the best sword you had, you had enchanted it multiple times. You had to use it, but the only thing was the memories that came with it.
Your anger only worsened as time went on, having to hear about Technoblade and how he was such a threat to L'Manburg only made you want to destroy him and the past you two had created. That would be the closure you needed, but someone was already three steps a head of you.
In spite of your anger you and Quackity had the most magnificent idea to make a gang to finally kill Technoblade for the sake of L'Manburg. The idea was to go confront him at his house and take him back to L'Manburg for an execution. You were on board with the idea 100%. This was better for L'Manburg and better for yourself, finally someone who got you.
Quackity and you planned tirelessly to try and get Technoblade's location and bring him back. The Butcher Gang was made from the cabinet of L'Manburg. During these long days you two grew closer, you two were so different in ways of thinking, but you two shared the same end goal which worked out in your favor. You two went through hell and back just to find out that the easiest way to get to Technoblade was sitting in L'Manburg right at that moment. Philza, some may say Technoblade's only friend at the moment. He was loyal to Technoblade and you dont blame him at all, but you needed to find out where his companion was.
It was all going well, the Butcher Gang had put Phil on house arrest and Tubbo had found a compass that led them straight to Technoblade's location. Everything was going well and according to plan, you didnt want to show it on your face as you saw Technoblade's house from the spot in the woods the Butcher Gang was hiding in, but you wanted this so badly. You didnt where he was going to be, he could've came and bestowed more destruction. It was like knowing he was there, but not knowing when he was going to strike.
The anxiety that came with not knowing where Technoblade was always with you, but now it wont be.
The Butcher Gang ended up taking Technoblade by force back into the city. You were proud that you were all able to get the blood hungry pig-man to come back with you all. He was behind bars with an anvil hanging high over his head. As Tubbo gave his speech your short lived happiness soon faded as a man appeared and smoke filled the area. You started to get attacked by what seemed like Dream and Punz while Tubbo continued to yell for Quackity to pull the lever to finally kill Technoblade.
"Pull the lever Big Q!"
"Kill him Quackity!" You yelled with him.
He did it. The anvil fell fast towards Technoblade's body, but as fast as the anvil landed on him his skin, bones, and blood regenerate and return to its normal state. Your eyes widened as the totem in his hand began to disintegrate into gold dust.
"DAMMIT!" You yelled in agony while Ranboo and Fundy continued to fend off Dream and Punz until they retreated.
Once they did you realized Technoblade was gone, you saw him in the distance running away from the scene, but you couldn't let this happen. You couldn't let the fear of Technoblade being out there doing God knows what forever. The fear of him boiled in your heart as you broke out into a sprint towards Technoblade.
As you ran into a more secluded area you heard footsteps behind you. You glances back to see Quackity following your lead with an axe in his hand. Slowing down a bit you both ran side by side.
"Let's get this son of a bitch!" Quackity huffed as you both came across a cave.
You both knew Technoblade was in there so you both prepared for the mental and physical pain you would both endure. This wasn't like the Butcher Gang where it was 5 against 1, it was 2 against 1 and you've seen Technoblade fight this fight before.
"You ready to kill this bastard?" He calmed his breathing down.
"Of course I am." You kept your eyes foward.
You walked deep into tha cave to see 6 chests and a sign that said "final control room", that bastard. Wanting to be quiet you tried to sneak up on Technoblade, but Quackity's anger got the best of him.
"What the fuck is this Technoblade?! What the hell are you doing here?" He asked gripping his sword too tight.
"It not what it looks like." Technoblade airly laughed. He had an enchanted pickaxe in his hand and an open chest with netherite armor.
"How the hell did that anvil not kill you?!" Quackity yelled.
Technoblade started laughing, he was laughing, he was taunting us. "Do you really think that death can stop me? That you could kill me that easily."
Your emotions tried to get the best of you as you tried not to let frustrated tears fall onto your cheeks.
"How did you do it? What... How did you even do that?"
"You think that can stop me Quackity?" Technoblade asked again.
"Just answer the fucking question!" You yelled before either of them could speak. It was silent for a while before Technoblade slowly spoke up.
"A totem. I used a totem of undying. I always have it on me." He smugly said.
He continued on. "You know what?! You know what? Ive got a lot to say, I was gonna say it at the trial, but we got a little bit interrupted. You know I tried convincing you guys that government was not the answer, the government was actually the cause of all your problems!"
You rolled your eyes as he continued his infamous speech.
"I tried to convince you guys by fighting alongside you as brothers and you cast me aside, you used me. I tried to use force, but you still formed a government! And when I went into hiding, when I retired, when I swore off violence, you hunted me down, you hurt my friends." Technoblade finished.
"Techno you dont understand what we're fighting for!" You started finally finding your voice. "I thought you were for us! You were always against us!"
"I was always for you! I needed you guys to understand!"
"We needed YOU to under-"
Technoblade interrupted you. "You dont understand me! You never did!"
"At least I fucking tried and you gave me so much shit for it! I wanted to be you Technoblade. I wanted to see life through your eyes, I was fascinated by how you walk, fight, your mind."
Your anger began to subside as you continued to speak. "But, you made me lose all my faith and trust in you."
Technoblade laughed again. "Same here! You guys left me! Betrayed me so-"
"So the feeling is mutual." You growled.
It was quite for a minute, but you could feel Quackity's sympathetic stare as you poured your feelings out to a man who dosen't even matter to you.
"They warned me about this." Your arms gestured to the area the three of you were in.
"About what?" Technoblade scoffed.
"About you." You stared at Technoblade. It wasn't a glare, it was more calm.
"Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy...Even Ranboo." You airly chuckled.
You had stopped talking trying to get yourself back together. Quackity caught that you weren't talking anymore so he spoke up.
"What we have up there is a country and what we need here is organization and power. And I dont care how long it fucking takes me or what I have to do to get you Techno. Im going to fucking kill you. Im going to kill you Technoblade." Quackity gripped his axe in his hand.
"I just have one question Quackity." Techno smirked.
"What do you have?" Quackity responded and you took the sword out of the sheath hanging on your hip.
"Do you think you two are enough to kill me? Even unarmed with iron armor?" Technoblade closed the chest that held netherite armor signaling he didn't need that. "Do you think you both could take me?"
"Oh we do." You spoke up. "We need this, Technoblade."
"You know what?" Quackity rose his axe and you followed suit. "Lets find out you son of a bitch!" He charged towards Technoblade and you followed close behind.
Technoblade started running out of the long cave, but you two followed. He threw potions on the ground as he turned around and fought us head on. You were able to get a couple of cuts and hits on him, but he was cutting you more with his pickaxe.
The thing about Quackity was that he thought he was invincible. He kept going full force towards Technoblade, hopefully he would focus on him so you could finally get a critical hit on him. Your heart rate kicked up as your face came too close to his pickaxe. And it kept going, each swing he took towards you became closer and closer until Quackity slashed his arm with his axe.
Technoblade whipped his head his way. "I have a pickaxe and I'll put it right through your teeth!"
Technoblade swung his axe and slashed Quackity's face, including his eye. He then turned his pickaxe to the flat side and swung it, hitting the side of his head. The blow to his head sent him flying against one of the walls of the cave, knocking him out.
He then turned to you and in a flash you could tatse the metal of his pickaxe as it swiped across your face blinding one of your eyes as well as Quackity's. He had hit you on the side of the head like he did with Quackity. Your body was aching as you fell to the ground, your mind slowly shutting down. You were loosing a lot of blood quickly, and so was Quackity. You two knew you were going to find the strength to get out of this cave and follow Technoblade's path out.
You laid on the cave's cold floor realizing that this was a mistake. You were too loyal, easily swayed, you were a follower. You never knew when to stop, from L'Manburg to Pogtopia to The Butcher Gang you seeked things you couldn't have. You couldn't have L'Manburg, neither Pogtopia, you couldn't kill Technoblade and ease your fears snd anxieties. You need to seek that some where else.
Your mind began to slip, and you fell into unconsciousness.
You should've learned. He was right. Revolutions always fall.
The Butcher Gang was a mistake.
Dear Technoblade,
I remembered the day. It still pains me. The day you spawned those wither. I thought you were the traitor, but turns out I was wrong at the time. Im sorry for that.
I also remember when you left me for dead. But I made it out as you see.
But now I am resigning from L'Manburg. Im going my own way, my own path, and I don't want you on my path.
Think of this as closure, something I never got. As I am writing this I dont know why I am giving you closure, lifting a weight off of your shoulders, you dont deserve it.
I know people say that to you alot.
You really made a dent in this damned place.
I hate what you're doing. You get to live in solitude while we get to live in the debris you left here. I wanted to be like you.
I hate to say it, but I learned a lot from you. I hated what I learned, about myself, about you, about the current state of this horrible place.
I wont make the same mistakes again
Are you satisfied now?
- an old friend ♤
#mcyt blurb#mcyt angst#mcyt fluff#mcyt x reader#mcyt headcanons#technowoah!#quackity x reader#techno x y/n#technoblade x reader#techno x reader#techno mcyt#technoblade platonic#mcyt platonic#platonic mcyt x reader#mcyt x platonic reader#technoblade imagine#techno imagine
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LOVE AGAIN ─✎ 송.민기
❖❳；Pairing; Song Mingi x Fem!Reader (ft. P1h's keeho, itzy's ryujin, and wooyoung)
❖❳；Genre; Greek mythology au, angst, reincarnation au.
❖❳；Words ; 6.2k
❖❳；Warnings; Mentions of death.
❖❳；Synopsis; A mission to find your lover who was reborn in the mortal world became a mission for heartbreak as you watched him fall in love with someone else.
❖❳；A/n; I honestly don't know what happened near the end, very disappointing but oh well. Not very proud of this so im sorry and don't get your hopes up.
❖❳； Note; My entry for @/sleepylixie and @/delicatewerewolfsoul 's hamartia collab. This might contain inaccurate representations of greek gods but for the sake of the story, just go with it. Slightly modernized as well.
The sun rises on the horizon, casting light all over Olympus, waking the gods in slumber, reminding them of the work they need to do. However, you wanted to fight the sun for rising so early. The rays piercing through the depths of the ocean, just enough to peek through the windows of your room.
You stir under the covers, not wanting to get up. The light blinding your closed eyes, preventing you from going back to sleep. You were honestly hoping you won't wake up the next day. You didn't want to wake up in agony knowing there's nothing to wake up to. You still picture his crescent eyes when he smiles, his laugh that echoes in your ears as if he is there with you. His hands that felt soft and warm left a mark on your skin, reminding you of how he held you in his arms.
Every night you see him in your dreams— for a while at least. Your heart was hurt, it wanted to remind you of all the things you could've done, but it knew that if you kept dreaming about him, you would have died grieving years ago.
A loud knock on your door suddenly erupted, a groan escaped your lips. You rolled to the other side trying to bury your head under the covers to drown out the sound. Then, your door busted open, making you sit up in surprise.
"What the fuck," you furrowed your brows, watching your father fix the dislocated door hinge.
"Don't use such language on me, young lady," he leans his trident beside the door. "You have a very important schedule to meet your suitors today."
Your eyes widen, "Suitors?!" You shrieked, your father's face contorts.
“Father, I think this has gone long enough for you to know that I am not interested.” he let out a sigh. He’s well aware of that.
"Look, I understand, but I will not have you sulk for the rest of your life just because that good-for-nothing son of Athena died," your blood boiled at his words.
"No father, I don’t think you do understand," You said with resentment.
You tried to bury the tears back down, not wanting to cry in front of your father. The pent up anger made you want to lash out like what he said was the last straw but your pride was much stronger.
"It's rude to keep them in line, they've travelled far just to get here, so I suggest you make yourself presentable and be there as soon as possible," his last words before shutting your door closed behind him.
The knick-knacks on your shelf shook as your father slammed the door shut. He wasn't mad, he was just….strict, as your father and god of the sea, you are under his territory thus, giving you no choice but to follow him.
You laid back on your bed, pulling the covers, letting out a muffled scream into the blanket. Only kids get treated like this, he acts like you aren't already a hundred years old.
You didn't want to meet another batch of mermen with plastic smiles and fake personalities. They were only after you because of your title, daughter of Poseidon, god of the sea, with a legacy that soon passes unto you. You had sisters and brothers, you didn't understand why it had to be you, but Poseidon himself already had it all planned.
You swam near the big stadium-like structure, with large pillars that were carved so intricately in quartz. The end of the stadium planted Poseidon's throne where he sat so elegantly. You hid behind the pillars, spotting the men that were seated to the side, waiting for your arrival, but you already decided you weren't going to attend. Not this time.
You took the longest route to Olympus, making sure no one spots you, escaping the suffocating vast seas that used to be called home.
=
"You know one day I could get killed by your dad," Wooyoung set the teacups filled with hot liquid on the dining table where you sat.
It's been a while since you set foot on land, you didn't miss it, the painful after-effects of walking for too long did make you wonder how land dwellers live.
"He won't since I made him promise it," your cheeky smile made him roll his eyes.
"But won't he easily find you here?"
"He will but he couldn't be bothered to travel all the way here," you took a sip from the cup, hot liquid running down your throat.
"I'll be home by sundown, can't have him wash Olympus just to find me," you force out a laugh, wooyoung giving you a sympathetic look.
He knows you are still mourning. Deep inside you are still in pain, but you try to keep it hidden.
"You know, it's been years and he is still bringing me these men I barely even know and he wants me to pick one to marry?" You planted your forehead on the table, hiding your face in frustration. "It's getting annoying." After those annoying years of having to pretend you are ok and just sitting pretty in front of dozens of merpeople, making yourself look like a prize in a glass box waiting for a winner to take you home.
But of course, it's still your choice and you chose to be with none of them.
"Were any of them attractive at least?" You hear the familiar charming voice. You look up to see Wooyoung's mother— aphrodite— adorned in her usual attire, laced with gold sequences, a headpiece in gold, and jewellery that complimented her skin.
You shook your head as you gave her a soft smile, "They always have this forced appearance to look strong and the wide creepy smiles that they think will help attract me to them," she listens to your rant, pouting slightly, "What a shame, you know your father's taste was never that good," she winked. You knew she was talking about your mother, whom you didn't know that well since she is always focusing on your brothers.
"I thought you went out early," Wooyoung questioned. Aphrodite cupped her son's cheeks, kissing the top of his nose.
"I just forgot something dear," you giggled at her ways of babying her son. Fixing his hair and touching up the light makeup he puts on every day. You can't deny how attractive Wooyoung is, you could see the features that he inherited from his mother.
"Poseidon won't stop what he is doing though, I suggest you do as his wishes y/n, or you'll face his consequences," strips of memory to that day cross your mind again. It was truly painful to recall, it made your heart clenched and you wanted to scream your head off.
"Look, whatever it is you want to do, just make sure it isn't something stupid," Wooyoung held your hand in his, rubbing your skin with his thumb. You remembered the last stupid thing you did.
You were grateful to have met someone like Wooyoung, he has always been there for you. Even though your father had been skeptical of him for so long, he still let you be around him.
But you can't promise him this time because another stupid idea just popped up in your head.
=
"Are you kidding y/n? Didn't we just talk about this?" Wooyoung follows you from behind as you walk through the forest. The last time you were here was the day your world fell apart.
You swore to not cross paths where it reminded you of him but right now, it is important.
"Look, demigods are bound to be reincarnated, there's a chance I could see him again," you explained, stepping on sticks and pebbles, slashing through vines and large leaves with your bronze dagger. Mingi wasn't like you or wooyoung who had both parents that are gods. Like Athena, he was created by her from her mind. He wasn't born….normal.
"And then what? What will you do if you see him?"
In all honesty, you didn't plan that far, all you thought of was to meet mingi in the mortal world. Wooyoung's concern for you just became worse when the silence answers his question. You have no plan, you just wanted to see mingi again.
You ignored Wooyoung's continuous nagging until you reached your destination. The tree that grew sweet magical berries that can only be found deep in the forests of Olympus. The berry that could help the gods enter the mortal realm.
"Y/n…." Worry settles in, Wooyoung knows the side effects of these berries. You weren't as powerful as your parents who were able to visit the mortal realm on your own, you needed help and you were certainly not gonna ask your father.
"I'll be fine," you picked a few handfuls of berries and stuffed them in your bag, "Atlantis won't be that far, If I need to, I’ll just come back." You smiled at Wooyoung.
"I leave tomorrow."
"What about your dad? Won't he get mad?" You two made your way back out of the forest, taking the path of where you came from.
"I just told him I'm sleeping at your place for a while," Wooyoung freezes in place. As expected of his role as your best friend, he's responsible for covering you up.
"You owe me big time."
=
Arriving at the mortal realm, alone and slightly scared. But the sight of what seemed to be the city made you giddy all of the sudden.
You walked around exploring the beautiful structures of the city. Tall buildings surrounding the area, billboards, and giant screens with lights and flashing colours. You were overwhelmed at first but it was quite interesting. It was nothing like you have seen before.
There were tons of people who wore casual attire, some wore suits as they travelled to work. Big buses and cars drove by in the streets— you almost got run over by one, not knowing the purpose of the blinking traffic light; the horrendous sound of the car horn almost did make your ears bleed.
Settling down on one of the park benches, you took a break from walking. The sandals you brought weren't doing any justice for your feet.
Your surroundings were peaceful, pink flowers scattered across the concrete, different coloured leaves decorating the trees, getting ready for the fall season. Suddenly, you felt a gust of wind. The eerie grey smoke rising in front of you. Chills running up your spine, your mind having a clear idea of where it's coming from.
A cold mischievous laugh emitted from within, your initial reaction was to pull out the dagger from your side, clutching the handle tight until your knuckles turned white.
"Relax, it's me," the same annoying voice you dreaded hearing.
"Ryujin, what are you doing here?" You scowled. She was bad news— the spirit of mischief lives within her, wherever she goes, chaos follows.
"Hmm, are you not happy to see me?" Her Cheshire cat-like smile plastered onto her face as she took a seat beside you, crossing her leg on top of the other. Her hair was shorter than the last time you saw her, eyes still full of mischief.
"I was hoping to not see you again after the incident 20 years ago," you spat, hatred lacing your words.
"Right, the poor boy, died so soon," her face turned into a sad look before smiling once again.
Ryujin was the main cause of his death. Your father just made it happen. Leading Mingi to that place in the forest where she knew your father was there, he hated Athena's children, he wouldn't hesitate to kill one in sight.
You wished there was a way to go back in time to stop Ryujin from leading Mingi to his inevitable death. But as expected, she felt no shame or guilt whatsoever.
"What is it that you plan anyway, there is a reason for you to come here, right?"
You kept your mouth closed, not wanting to possibly give your plan away for the spirit of mischief to take its course. And so, you kept quiet. Ryujin clicked her tongue in annoyance. She wished she could read minds, but that's her brother's power.
"Fine, keep it to yourself," she stood up, grumbling something under her breath, "Just so you know, I am not leaving without having a bit of fun," another gust of wind blowing in your direction leaves swirling in a circle on the concrete just below her feet, the puff of smoke covering her figure as she disappeared.
Your mind was in shambles. Usually, she would try and pressure you into answering but she brushed it off so soon.
You let out the breath you didn't know you were holding, the weight suddenly leaving your chest. Sometimes the presence of Ryujin gives you this uneasy feeling, but it was better than getting a visit from her brother. He is ten times worse.
=
You finally adapted to the mortal world, got a place to stay all by yourself. There were obstacles on the way but you got over them easily.
You lay quietly on the bed, and to be honest, it was a bit uncomfortable. The covers are placed over you up to your neck. You stared at the ceiling, counting rams in hopes of helping you fall asleep. And on your 1117th ram, your eyes finally grew heavy.
But to your dismay, your throat decides that it was parched. You sat up from your bed, wearing your slippers, and made your way to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass and filling it up with water, but before you could take a sip, you saw a figure on your couch.
You dropped the glass, shattering across the floor. The figure whipped his head around and you couldn't believe your eyes. Is this a dream? You must be dreaming… You might have even gone mad.
"Mingi?" You stuttered. You haven't called out that name in so long.
"Y/n, be careful you'll hurt yourself," he stood from the couch, making his way to you. You took a few steps back. Mingi's face shows a look of confusion.
He stepped on the glass unfazed by it. Did he not feel that? Of course, this is a dream, he's not real.
"What's wrong?" His arms out to reach for you.
"N-no, I'm dreaming, this can't be—" you shook your head, tears pricking your eyes. You felt warm hands cup your face, it was so real, your knees so close to giving out.
"What do you mean?" His eyes were the same shade of brown. His hair is styled the same way he always has it in.
"You're real?" Your voice croaked, mingi chuckled. The same smile you saw years ago, but as expected, his face started to fade. This is definitely a dream. It was impossible to have mingi physically there, you saw him….die, right in front of your eyes.
"Of course I'm real," his voice was soft, comforting even. You were really hearing his voice, this is his voice. He pressed his forehead against you, kissing the top of your nose promptly.
At this point, you couldn't stop the tears from falling. You sobbed making mingi pull away and look at you with worry in his eyes.
"Please don't leave me again," you pleaded. You wished it was real, your chest grew even tighter. What kind of cruel punishment is this?
"Why would I leave?" He wiped the tear on your cheek. "I'll always be here," he said in reassurance as he pulled you in his embrace. You missed it so much—you missed him so much. The same warmth was still there, but it eventually started to feel cold. Like Hades was paying a visit to take him back to the underworld.
You finally got to see him again, even if it was only a dream, it really felt like he was there, body and soul present. You didn't want to let him go, there's no way you are losing him again.
His image starts to fade, you start to feel the emptiness again. His hold on your body began to feel like nothing, it was cold like ice. You tried to grip his shirt, keeping him from disappearing. You spewed out pleas, begging him to stay. At Least for a little longer.
But then you woke up, hot liquid running down your face.
You were crying, something you haven't done in a long while. Slapping your cheeks, making sure you were really awake.
"Come one y/n, it was just a dream," you said to yourself out loud.
20 years and you thought you were over him. But those agonizing years were torturous. Everything seemed to remind you of him. Wooyoung almost didn't see you for 18 years until you finally decided to visit him. You wouldn't know what to do if wooyoung was never in your life, you might as well have been asleep for the rest of your life.
=
The clamshell that sat on your bedside table glowed. It was a magic shell that sends messages back and forth in writing. You gave one to Wooyoung so you could communicate from a distance.
"Did you find him?" The letters glowed as they appeared.
"Not yet." you wrote back, watching the writings disappear indicating that he is reading it.
"Time is ticking y/n." Anxiety washes over you again. Soon the berries won't be enough to hold you there and you'll be needing to come back home.
"Y/n, you there?" A voice startled you, making you almost drop the shell. It would be bad if you did, it was a fragile thing, you could risk shattering it and won't have anything else to communicate with.
"In here!" You called out, quickly hiding the shell in the dresser.
"I brought lunch," mina smiled, holding up a paper bag filled with takeout.
The day you moved in, still exploring the apartment that you rented, you heard a knock on your door.
You peeked through the peephole. A woman stood in front of the door patiently, short brown hair— half of it tied into a ponytail— dressed in a leather jacket and denim pants. She looked about 20, maybe 21 but she doesn't look older than 25.
You almost pulled out your dagger but resisted, remembering that they are mortals and you could get in trouble. You slowly twisted the doorknob open, opening it slightly so your body is visible but not the room.
"Hi, I'm mina!" She said in a bubbly tone. Her energy made you slightly overwhelmed. "I'm your neighbour, just next door." She pointed to the apartment beside yours.
You nodded, not knowing what to reply. "Have you finished unpacking?" You tilted your head in confusion. "Do you need help with boxes or anything?"
You looked back in your apartment, body moving aside just enough for Mina to have a clear view.
"Did you not bring any stuff?" You shook your head.
"I only brought a satchel," you gripped the strap that hung across your body. She gazes at the small bag attached to your body.
"Well, it looks like you need help settling in, why don't I cook dinner for you? You don't seem to have any pots or pans or food either." Your stomach grumbled at the mere mention of food.
Mina giggled, making you heat up in embarrassment. "I'll take that as a yes."
Since then Mina has been your source of food and company. She's been a great companion for the past few days. You told Wooyoung all about her and he just replied coldly. The thought of your best friend getting jealous of your new mortal friend made you laugh.
"So, I just started my 3rd year of college, and honestly, I am tired of it— I've been thinking of dropping out but then my mom might whoop my ass…" Mina rants while you sit there, zoned out watching the floor like it's the most interesting thing in the world.
"Earth to y/n," mina waves her hand in front of you, snapping you out of your daze.
"Oh sorry, What were you saying?" The girl pouts, eventually brushing it off to discuss other things.
"Oh right, so I met this guy on campus and he is like, really cute. He is super tall and like, maybe a bit built..." You listened to her attentively but still in the back of your mind you couldn't help but discuss your plans on how to find mingi to yourself.
"Should I ask him out?" You blinked— you weren't paying attention again.
"I'm sorry?"
"The guy I met on campus on my first day, should I ask for his number?"
"Oh totally, you should," you said plainly, you feel really bad for not paying attention but you couldn’t help it when your mind is being occupied with something else. Mina just brushed it off, not noticing your spaced-out expression. She continued rambling while your mind wandered.
Time was running out, you needed a plan.
=
"Remind me why I am on your college campus again?" You said, mina dragging you by the arm. She woke you up at an ungodly hour just to travel early to her college campus. Few students were walking around campus, on their way to their scheduled class.
"Look, I barely have friends, also do you go to college? You look to be around my age," your eyes widen. Atlantis doesn't have schools, you had to travel to Olympus just to make it to class, but you only had to go until you turned 18. And you are immortal, you haven't been to school for a hundred years.
"I graduated," you just said. Hoping she won't ask further questions.
"Oh so you're older than me then," you nodded. She stopped to sit by a tree in the campus garden, patting the grass beside you. You sat beside her, leaning on the tree.
"I don't have class 'till after lunch, we can grab something to eat before you can go back to your apartment," she took out her textbook and paper to finish what she didn't the day before.
"Sorry for dragging you, You are always locked up in your apartment so I thought why not take you here with me," you were planning on exploring more of the city, just to take note of the possible routes to get around.
"Won't I get in trouble? I don't go here."
"You are fine, besides, it's an open college, anyone can visit here," she explains as she gets back to her work.
Your eyes wandered off somewhere else, spotting the students who were early, sitting on the grass as they got some sleep under the trees. Some were reading books and some were having their breakfast.
It makes you sleepy after a while, deciding to lean your head against the tree, closing your eyes for a brief moment.
A pair of shoes tapping against the grass, crunching the leaves on the way. You didn't bother to open your eyes so you just stayed and listened. Must be one of mina's friends as you hear her voice ushering for them to sit.
They sat on the other side of the tree beside mina, talking about classes and homework but something about that voice tingles your brain. The familiar deep husky voice made your heart ache. You were confused as to why you were reacting that way.
Soon the person left and you were forced to open your eyes when mina shook your shoulder abruptly.
"Guess who just gave me their number," she said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Who?"
"The hot campus boy," she squealed, waving the paper in her hand. "His name is mingi and it's kinda cute and his voice was deep, not that deep, but like...deep."
Your eyes widen, "mingi?" She nodded. You felt like your world stopped spinning. Your mind is in shambles, processing the information. Your ears deafened the sounds around you, muffling mina's continuous babblings.
You thanked the gods that he's here, but then reality hit. He doesn't know you for he is only a reincarnation of the mingi you knew. He is no longer the son of Athena, he is just human.
=
"Are you sure it's the mingi?" Wooyoung's message appears from the clamshell. You lay on your bed, a book on your lap as you were reading just a while ago.
"Yes, Mina's description fits so perfectly," you bit your lip, anxiously fidgeting with your necklace. What if it wasn't him? You can't confirm that it really is him, he has no memory of his past life.
"Ok, so what are you gonna do now? You found him, what's the next step?" You mentally slapped yourself for being unprepared. You wanted to see him again, that was your main goal, and now that you know he's here, you have no reason to stay.
You want to be with him but it's impossible, you are immortal, he'll age while you stay young. Well, nothing much was changed when he was a demigod, but he had the opportunity to become immortal. It's not like there is some way a mortal can become immortal.
…..or is there.
"I'm coming back," the writing disappeared letter by letter as wooyoung's message appeared right after.
"Really? So that's it?"
You shook your head as if he could see you. "I have a plan"
"Oh no," wooyoung thought. Letting out a deep sigh. "She's gonna get into more trouble isn't she?" Wooyoung wished that somehow something would knock some sense into you.
=
"Y/n!"
"Mina, hey," she threw herself at you, engulfing you in a tight hug.
"I'm gonna miss you," she squeezed around your neck, restricting your airflow.
"Mina," you patted her back, making her apologize with a sheepish grin, "I'll be back soon though, you don't have to miss me too much."
"I know— wait, are you free right now? I was wondering if you wanna go eat before you leave," you thought for a second. Though it isn't difficult to travel back to Olympus, you're unfortunately on your last berry.
"Sure," you hoped it'll last you for another few hours.
Arriving at a restaurant with mina, ordering food as soon as you sat down. Your eyes wandered around. The restaurant was busy, waiters quickly passing around, trying to get to the customer's table as soon as possible.
"Finally," Mina says, standing up on her seat. You turned your head to the person she was referring to.
"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck in traffic."
"I invited mingi, I hope you don't mind y/n," Mina says with a sorry smile.
"I don't mind at all." That unsettling feeling soon washes over you, seeing mingi stand in front of you, face to face. You find it weird to see him like this like he didn't die. He looks like the same mingi years ago, it just felt….different.
You took your seats again, Mina helping mingi order his food. The three of you waited for your orders, chatting about anything that comes to mind. Mina talking about classes and homework that is due and mingi asking if any of you were free to a party this weekend.
Of course, you can't go.
"So, Where are you from y/n?" He asks you. His voice sounded so natural to you but at the same time, it felt foreign, like you just heard of it now. Technically you did but, the way demigod reincarnations work is they get reborn the same. Meaning they'll look the same, speak the same, and their personalities are most likely the same. Nothing will change once they get reborn— except, they won't remember anything from their past life.
"Atlantis," you blurted out, panic rushing through you. You can see the confusion in their faces.
"Like, the lost city of Atlantis?" Mortals, what are they teaching them?
"I mean Atlanta," you corrected yourself, body stiff as stone.
"America? That's far, do you have a flight?" Mina intervened. You didn't even know where that was, you just so happened to remember that book you read before coming here and the main character lived in a place called Atlanta.
"Uh yeah, sure," you felt cold sweat trickling down the back of your neck. You just hope they won't ask any more questions.
You let out a sigh of relief as the two of them get back to chatting with each other.
Finally, the food arrived and the sooner you finished the sooner you got to go home. And with your last berry, you popped it in your mouth after the meal.
Leaving the restaurant with mina and mingi you were finally able to go back to Olympus.
As you are ready to part ways, Mina engulfs you in a tight hug, cutting off your airflow. "Mina, you're squishing me," you said in a choked out voice. "Be quick ok," she gives you a final hug before walking in the other direction.
You waited until the coast was clear and hid somewhere secluded.
=
You arrived safely and with just a minute to spare. You were gonna go to wooyoung's place first before going back to Atlantis when you saw a lightning strike. A gust of moist air blows your way, a growling thunder piercing through your ears. Your mind immediately assumed that it was Zeus but when the clouds cleared you saw your father, sitting on a cloud with his trident on his lap.
"Father," you said, greeting him with a bow. Though he didn't look pleased with seeing you at the gates of Olympus, he still gave your hair a ruffle.
"You have me worried sick y/n, where were you?"
You expected yelling, hearing these words and this kind of tone shocked you. Especially even after telling him that you were staying at wooyoung's but still found you at the gates
"Look, I know I may have gone too far— with...you know, the marriage," he admits. Avoiding eye contact with you as much as possible. Not that it wasn't sincere, he just wasn't used to admitting he was wrong. But he loves you dearly and he'd do anything for you.
"It's ok, I actually forgot those happened." there was an awkward silence. Then, Poseidon left, after informing you of what time dinner was gonna be.
You finally arrived at your best friend's house and instead of a worried wooyoung, you were met with a furious wooyoung.
"I knew this was a bad idea, your father almost killed me!" He said. You rolled your eyes at the exaggeration.
"Relax wooyoung, nothing happened," you placed your bag onto his bed, taking out the souvenirs you got.
"Did he say anything to you? You are still alive so I'm guessing you haven't met yet?"
"I met him at the gates and he said he was worried." Thinking back to that moment made you shiver, it's like someone replaced your dad with someone completely different.
"Huh, well ok then— Ooh what are these," he was quick to change the topic as his curiosity fills in. Wooyoung takes the bag of candies you brought, ripping it open to take one of the wrappers with the sugary treats inside. You chuckled, watching wooyoung chew on the candy.
He notices your gaze stuck on the floor while you get lost in your own thoughts.
"Hey, did something else happen there?"
You snap back into reality, taking a while to process what wooyoung just said. You shook your head in response.
"Actually, is there a way to stay there without the berries?"
He stares at you for a moment, he honestly thought you were done and you weren't going back there. It's dangerous for you since you are not as strong as your father. Even with something more efficient than a magical fruit, you are bound to get in trouble.
"My mom has a necklace," wooyoung says, he didn't want to say it but he knew how important this is to you. Eventually you'll stop, knowing mortals and gods cannot stay together forever.
"She used to make me wear it when she let me go to the mortal world with her."
"Can I borrow it?"
=
"Y/n!" Mina ran to you with open arms, "I missed you so much," you giggled at your friend.
"I've only been gone for a week."
"A week too long," she pouted.
She takes your hand in hers, pulling you to whatever direction. You arrived at the airport, making it look like you got here by plane. Passing security check out and exiting the building.
"You still remember mingi right?" She asks.
"Of course, I left for a week, it doesn't mean I forgot anything that's here," she grinned.
"Why, what happened?" You asked, hiding the hint of fear in your voice.
"Oh nothing," she sing-song, trying to stop her lips from smiling too much.
You both stopped at the front of the main entrance, waiting for you-don't-know-who. Until a car stops in front of you. Mingi came to pick you two up, giving you a ride to your apartment.
"So, what's it like in your hometown," she asks, taking a bite of her food.
"Uh, It's….you know —uh…. there's trees and buildings."
Mina nodded slowly as she continued eating her food.
After you two finished eating, Mina left to finish her college work— probably with mingi.
You didn't want to think the worst but considering mina's behavior around mingi, you couldn't stop the thoughts running around your mind.
You gripped the pendant that was tied around your neck. It's pearly white color glowing due to the light reflecting on it. Its sharp edges indicate that it was shattered into parts.
The other half is with mingi.
Atleast, when he was still with you. It symbolizes your promise to always be together and be there for each other.
But fate just wasn't on your side. And it still isn't.
As you walked out of your apartment to get some fresh air, you spotted the two by the parking lot. Their faces are inches away from each other.
You didn't know why but you felt your heart sink. Tears welling in your eyes. You reminded yourself that this mingi isn't the same mingi that promised to be with you. He wasn't the same mingi that helped you run away from home whenever your parents were arguing again.
That gave you a reality check, you can't be with him anymore. You have to let him go.
Your gaze still stuck on the two, not noticing the sudden appearance of another spirit.
This time, it made you feel chills.
"Keeho," you said in a whisper. You didn't bother to look in his direction.
"Oh, I'm glad you recognize me," he said, a mischievous smile growing on his lips.
"Ryujin would have loved to see this, after all, this was her plan." You curled your fist into a ball, tight enough until your nails dug into your skin.
"Why?" You managed to let out. You didn't want this to affect you but it does. After everything you did, it all didn't matter in the end.
"I don't know, ask ryujin. I'm just here to relay a message."
Keeho pushed himself off the wall that he was leaning on and came over to you.
"Don't try to bring back something that was meant to be taken away, it'll come back to bite you in the ass," he whispered against your ear, sending chills down your spine.
Then he left, disappearing into the mist again.
Even though you just came back, you were already itching to leave. Packing your bag and locking the apartment. Giving the keys to the landlord.
Mina notices you in a hurry to leave, running after you to catch you.
"Y/n! Where are you going?" She grabs your wrist making you stop. You didn't turn around, you stayed rooted to the ground. Swallowing the thick lump in your throat before speaking.
"I'm sorry Mina," you pulled your wrist away from her and left. You felt guilty, she was your only friend and she felt betrayed. You left without an explanation.
=
"Y/n? You're here, did something happen?" Wooyoung read your expression.
You shook your head, clearing your thoughts as you replaced the sad look with a small smile.
"I'm great, I just didn't like the whole vibe there," you lied.
You removed the ruby crystal around your neck giving it to wooyoung, muttering a thanks. Alongside you removed the pendant that was tucked under your shirt. Wooyoung was shocked as you never took it off and you swore you never would.
You tucked the necklace into your pocket, taking a mental note to put it away when you get home.
Although you didn't accomplish your original mission, you did realize that it's always good to let go of something. Never let anything or anyone tie you down. You are still heartbroken, but you are sure you could get over it soon.
Of course, the siblings that stared at you through the window, mischievous smiles on their faces, will not let you live just yet.
#8makes1teamnet#ficscafe#destinyversenet#fkp-net#knet-bakery#: ̗̀🌺; collab fic entry#❪ 🐿️ ❫ ─ oneshots#ateez#ateez mingi#song mingi#ateez angst#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#mingi scenarios#mingi imagines
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End of a day
pairing: Na Jaemin x reader
Genre: fluff, angst (?)
🎶: End of a day by Kim Jonghyun
Word count: 2.3k words (more than i planned jgsjjf)
Warnings: umm lots of fluff?? And sad jaemin :((
Network/s: @neoturtles
A/n: JFNSJFBJWBF UGHHHHH TUMBLR 😩😩😩😩 STOP BEING A BITCH PLS 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS HE SECOND TIME IM POSTING THIS 😃 enjoy it tho :)) it’s better than all my other works tbh so dint be too disappointed if you check the others :’)
Thousands of people work every day, tired and upset, and yet they get up the next day to do the exact same thing. That’s how life is. It seems like nobody has a problem with that, maybe it’s because they’ve become so accustomed to it, or maybe they don’t want to come out pathetic and weaker to others, but they just keep going. It’s amazing, really, the way the mind works. Some people want to come off as strong and hard to read, and others just want to make friends and have fun.
Perhaps you were both, but today, you were none. All you felt was tiredness and stress. All you wanted to do was rip off these painfully uncomfortable clothes and curl into bed next to Jaemin.
At last, you reach your home you share with Jaemin, opening the door as he texted you he would leave it unlocked for you. Sluggishly and with no care in the world, you fling your shoes somewhere around the shoe rack, launching your bag to the couch, “I’m home!” no reply. With a huff, you make a beeline towards your shared room, emotions getting worse with every step you take. You twist the knob to your room, pushing it open, “Jaemin, you in he-”
Reach out and cover my neck
Please massage my shoulder a little further down
All your moodiness fades away when you spot your tired boyfriend quietly sniffling into his palms, seating looking too uncomfortable, even the sight of it throws your clothes into despair. “Jaemin...” you slowly inch towards him, heart shattering when he lets out a sob. He’s still in his work suit, something you loved on him, but now it just looked like it was suffering him. “Jaemin, baby,” you gently place your hand on his messy hair, cooing and running your fingers through his delicate strands when he leans into your touch.
“Come on, let’s go change. You feel uncomfortable, don’t you?” You beckon him softly, picking his face up and swiping a thumb over his wet cheek. He gives you a tight nod, squeezing the last few tears out before standing up, enveloping your hand around his. This is what he came home for. Your comfort and reassurance.
Even if the sun has already risen at the end of a tiring day
Now that I close my eyes
Just when you unbutton the last button of his jacket and throw it somewhere behind you, Jaemin can’t help but lean down to place his lips softly onto yours with care. His lips are salty from his tears, but you really don’t mind when his kisses are so soft, unlike all the other teasing and a bit rough ones he gives in the day. You pull away slowly, grinning up at him. He finally feels what he’s been longing the whole day, relaxation and tranquility. It feels so perfect and so… you.
Within 5 minutes, all uncomfortable work clothes are long forgotten, only soft big tees that envelop you and lul you slowly to sleep. That’s what you plan to do, right after Jaemin’s done in the bathroom and is next to you.
By the time your eyes are drooping close, the bathroom door is open, and you spot Jaemin shaking his hands dry and wiping them on his shirt. He instantly climbs in next to you, rushing into burying his face into your neck snugly.
On my day when I close the door later than others
Playfully tickling the earlobe
Even if we've been in a different world all day
Because we are always together at the end of the day
“Hard day?” You mumble into his forehead, chuckling lightly when he nods his head aggressively. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin sighs, “Not really. It’s just the usual, given more work than the others. It’s just frustrating me,” You let out a thoughtful hum, nodding and threading your fingers into his messy hair, “So it all finally got to you?” He nods once again, this time a bit softer as he pulls you closer to his body.
“That’s good to hear, that you didn’t suppress your feelings, I mean. It’s been so long since you’ve actually relaxed.” Jaemin grins, you can read him so well, it’s amazing how you can determine how he’s feeling just by how he eats his breakfast or how affectionate he’s been.
Your little shoulders, your two little hands
At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket
Good job, you worked really hard
It makes him guilty, how you know every single part of him, and yet he doesn’t even try to know your small habits and actions you do. But then, he knows about your slow steps in the evening when you come back home, and the way your frown turns up quickly, almost too quickly, too fake. ‘Oh my god, you haven’t been good either,’ he thinks, as he squeezes you to him, as if trying to get rid of all the guilt he felt.
“Have you been okay?”
You are alarmed at the sudden question, tilting your head down to give him a confused look, “What?” Jaemin places his hand on your face, this time it’s him who’s stroking your tear away. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the moisture spreading on your cheek.
“You’re not having such a good day either, huh?” Quickly, you try to scoot away from your boyfriend and wipe harshly at your tears, but the second you wipe one aggressively, Jaemin stops you, instead sitting up and wiping them himself, “You’re suppressing it too much.”
A scoff falls from your lips, before you playfully shove him away, “Don’t copy me!” There is a moment of laughter, before the atmosphere falls quiet. Not even a few seconds later, Jaemin is scooping you up to his side, enveloping you into his chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Instead of replying, you soften to his embrace, letting the last few tears finally release.
To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders
I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day
I want to breathe with you naturally
Now you feel it, what Jaemin was yearning for when he came home, serene and pure ease. One of Jaemin’s hands tangles into your hair, fingers prodding soothingly on your scalp, his other hand venturing underneath your shirt to caress your bare skin with care. He was wrong. He did know every part of you, he knew perfectly what you wanted and when to give it. You inch closer to Jaemin, craving more of his warmth and touch.
He only coos at your eagerness, happily letting you cling onto him and bury your form into his hold. He places a tender kiss on your forehead, as if a silent reminder that he loves you. You shift in his hold, “Thank you,” your whisper felt soft, almost soothing against Jaemin’s skin, and he continues pressing quick, loving pecks all over your face, just as much until you giggle out at the lingering sensation when he finally stops.
You finally have the strength to look back up into Jaemin’s eyes, and you find nothing but clarified love and affection, no doubt you have those as well in your own.
Like the water in the bathtub that tightly embraces you
Warmly and completely
At the end of my embarrassing day full of clumsy mistakes
Are you waiting for me to be proud of you
The ambiance is everything soft, it feels comforting and like home, it feels like Christmas night, the ones where you just finally calm down from the buzzing day from before. For a second there, you almost forget about the hectic day you had previously, but honestly, all you want to do is thank it, without it you wouldn’t be here, you would most likely be still working.
Work is a bitch, you conclude, because even when you’re done with it for the day and want to take a break from it, you can’t, you can’t help but worry and think about the next time you encounter it, you want to finish it, but where is the end of it? Work will always be there to bring you back to the reality that you can’t slack off, you’ll get off track.
Now your thoughts were just getting out of hand, and you really hate work now.
“Baby, you’re overthinking, I can tell.” you shake your head, getting rid of the thoughts, “Sorry,” Jaemin chuckles lightly, caressing your cheek dearly, “No, I kind of am too.”
The conversation ends there, it’s like you don’t want to ruin the peaceful little aura you’ve created, opting to keep it as long as you can. Jaemin decides to revive the conversation, sliding down to relax and lay down on the bed, bringing you with him, “Tell me,” His eyes catch yours, almost pleading you to tell him, “Tell me what you were thinking about,”
“Well,” You start, “Work is just so inevitable, and honestly? It’s full of shit.” Jaemin chortles slightly at your choice of words, “Tell me about it.” You give him a mischievous look, “Like, no matter how much you hate it and don’t want it, you’re still gonna have to do it anyway, you basically can’t live without work.”
The small sigh doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, as he pats your back comfortingly. “And whenever you want to just get over with it, you can’t. It’s still gonna be there again the next day or two. I don’t like it at all. Not one bit.”
Your boyfriend almost agrees, but stops. He should encourage you instead, he thinks.
“But hey, a the end if you work hard there will be a present waiting at home for you.” You roll your eyes, thinking it one of his corny jokes, but he continues, “At least that’s what I tell myself to get throughout the day, I get to see you again, that’s practically magical. Coming back home and tumbling into your hugs and kisses are literally soo perfect, it’s surreal, almost.”
Your little shoulders, your two little hands
At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket
Good job, you worked really hard
A big smile spreads across your lips, and you turn your head to look at Jaemin. He smiles at you, affirming his words, softly running his hands through your hair, “I know it’s really cheesy, but it works for me.”
Your perspective might change completely because of that, imagine just a hard ass day of work kicking your ass, tiring, and most likely emotional and full of breakdowns, and in return for dealing with all the shit, you get to relax and spend some time with Jaemin without any work interrupting you two, you might just want that every day.
You give him a bigger, more satisfied smile, “Okay, I’ll do that.”
To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders
I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day
I want to breathe with you naturally
Jaemin is another breed, because who on earth would come up with that idea? Na Jaemin did. While others, and most likely you, think of all the bad things that happened throughout the day, Jaemin thought of the future, what’s happened has happened, if it was shit then so be it. But time with you could never be shit for him, he can’t find a single bit of it boring.
Despite being with him for so long, you can’t help but always be so mesmerized by him, he’s absolutely fascinating. The way he sees life is honestly on another level, a level that you want to reach and a level he will happily help you reach.
From now on, you decide, you will find the goods at the end of the day, you will work hard, maybe even extra hard, just to be happy at the end of the day when you meet Jaemin once again.
I can't cry as much as I want and I can't laugh as much as I want
At the end of a tiring day, if it’s next to you
You scream like a child and laugh like you pass your breath
I meet myself, who has become awkward too
So when the next day arrives, you work super duper hard, staying an extra hour to help Mark with his own work he struggles with (he’s not that good with technology) and even doing extra small tasks your coworkers ask you to do, which they found funny because usually, you reply with an excuse or simply turning it down, this was definitely a good thing.
And when you go back home, this time you’re about 3 times more exhausted, and 10 times more excited to finally meet Jaemin after a long day.
You bust the door open harshly, throwing your shoes messily at the shoe rack with a bright smile on your face.
“I’m home!”
Jaemin’s soft mop of hair peeks out from the kitchen, “Oh? Baby? How was-”
Suddenly, the air in his lungs gets knocked out from force, the force of you rushing into his arms. You feel it. The happiness. Jaemin was right, this feels victorious. You feel like you’ve won in life, you feel so accomplished.
Jaemin sighs, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his forehead on the top of your head, “I’m so proud of you.”
Good job, you worked really ahrd
You are my pride
#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin#na jaemin imagines#na jaemin fluff#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream x reader#nct fluff#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct 127#nct 127 imagines#nct u imagines#nct u#nct u x reader#nct u fluff#nct dream fluff#neoturtles
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january: an art retrospective
i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)
so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.
at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.
january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.
january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:
on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests
the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th
this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.
january 11th. applied sketch
january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i
bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes
i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.
sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start
january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit
more applied studies
on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real
january 19th. i’m working on it.
january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.
january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud
january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned
26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies
january 1st. january 31st
The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)
ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings
FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????
here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.
the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)
take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.
or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?
so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.
this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.
here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages
and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.
this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.
this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.
thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end
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a-z fluff alphabet for connie springer
requested by @squidonmywall !! i hope you enjoy <3
warnings: some swearing
word count: 1871
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Your sense of humor! Connie is a really funny guy, so it means a lot to him that you can match his energy at all times. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe…
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Your cheeks! Connie LOVES to pinch them, caress them, kiss them, and so on. He makes it his life mission to make you blush, as seeing the red tint on your cheeks makes pride swell up in him over the fact that he made you have that reaction. He also loves when- jk, we’re keeping this PG here. I’ll expand more on this when I do his NSFW alphabet.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Under lots of blankets and on top of lots of pillows. But he will cuddle with you anywhere and everywhere; Connie is not shy about PDA with you.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
I get extremely romantic vibes from Connie, so probably some sort of mountain getaway, during which you spend time in a sauna, go skiing, and have a candlelit dinner with the breathtaking view of the snow-tipped mountains in the background. I can assure you he will do everything in his power to make you swoon, and (more likely than not) CRINGE at some of his cheesy attempts at flirting. He may be a romantic, but I never said anything about being smooth. That is a whole other story.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Connie is pretty open about his emotions with everyone, but even more so with you. You just make him feel so comfortable, he knows that no matter what he’s feeling you won’t judge him; you’ll try your hardest to sympathize and help him work through it. That’s another thing he loves about you, your empathy.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
CONNIE WANTS LIKE FIVE KIDS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. In any case, he only wants them if you want them of course. He isn’t going to force you into something you don’t want. However, I would say that it could be a deal breaker for him…but it just depends. If you do want to have kids as well, I’d say he wants to start having them around 24/25.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. I don’t think he has a lot of money so they probably aren’t expensive ones, but expect a bunch of small things randomly. He doesn’t need a holiday to buy you a gift, he just does it whenever he feels like it (which is almost always LMFAO he’s such a sweetie I am in love).
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
All the time. Everywhere. Everyday. He holds onto your hand like it’s his fucking LIFELINE. (please I simp for this man so much he is so precious help)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Simply put, he would cry. Similar to Eren, he would most likely shut down, overwhelmed by the panic and regret that washes over him when someone informs him of your injury. He would be so patient and loving during your recovery period, though. If you were staying in a hospital room he would give you his pudding cups during dinnertime.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Obviously Connie likes to joke, he’s one of the funniest characters in AOT. However, pranks? Nah. Not alone, at least. Teamed up with Sasha is a whole other story. But I don’t think they’d be anything serious. If he did prank you, it would be like…hiding a whoopie cushion on the couch where you normally sit, not a breakup prank or a cheating prank. He thinks those are too cruel and he would feel wayyyy too bad about it.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Lowkey…I feel like he gives wet and sloppy kisses. But the type that make you feel warm inside. Kissing him brightens your whole day, they’re so infused with love that you could faint.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
Words, gifts, kisses, random hugs, cuddles, you name it. He makes it VERY KNOWN in every way possible that he loves you. He is not embarrassed about it at all, and he makes sure you don’t forget it.
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
Your first date. He stuttered so bad and yet you didn’t make fun of him. That’s when he knew that he had it BAD for you. He went home and literally couldn’t sleep he was so overwhelmed with affection for you.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
He’s afraid that his forwardness will eventually scare you away. He’s so open about everything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are, so he’s afraid that one day he will overstep his boundaries and drive you away permanently.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
French kissing is a no-no. Even though his kisses are wet and sloppy, I really think that the thought of your tongues in each other’s mouths gross him out. I think the same goes for Levi, too, if I’m being honest.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Angel, my love, my dearest. THIS BOY IS SO CHEESY BUT IT MELTS YOU
“You’re so pretty, angel. How the hell did I manage to get a girlfriend as heavenly as you?”
(And then you probably made fun of him and you two double over in the type of laughter that makes your stomach cramp. Oh, to be loved by Connie.)
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
A lot, quality time is his love language, second to gift giving. If he had it his way, the only time he would be away from you is when he was at work, at school, or going to the bathroom. Otherwise, he wants to be all up in your business. But, he respects your space so he tries to refrain from asking you to hang out every day. Key word: tries.
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
“Two” by Sleeping At Last. No explanation needed.
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He tells you everything, even things you think ‘god, why did he tell me that?’ afterwards. SO, he tells you everything. He keeps nothing from you, which makes surprising you SUPER hard for him LMAO. He just wants to tell you as soon as he possibly can.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
Not very long. 3 months at most. This boy can’t wait LOL he has 0 patience. He knew he wanted to make you his even before you had your first date, but he waited to give you time to think about what you wanted. (Although how could you not want him??? FR)
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
Super supportive. He will be whatever you need him to be. If you need to scream at him to let out all of your frustration? He’ll let you. If you need him to hold a pillow for you to punch while you’re angry? Consider him your new punching bag. If you need him to just hold you and stroke your hair while you cry? He’ll do it. Anything for you.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
He’s honestly just so happy that you love him. He loves to show you off; he tells anyone who will listen how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, how he’s convinced that if soulmates did exist, you’d be his.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
Like Eren, Connie would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He gets a little scared when he thinks about you fighting, but he knows that you’d be fine, so he never really voices that fear.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
Pretty damn well. He’s not dumb, he can tell when you’re actually mad and when you’re just crabby because you haven’t eaten. He’s memorized all of the indicators that point towards how you’re feeling, and he’s always prepared to deal with it.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
SOOOOO ROMANTICALLY PLS IM GONNA SOB THINKING ABOUT IT.
This is the only secret that I feel he would successfully keep from you; he wants to make it as special as possible (which is quite the opposite of Eren LOL). He would take you on a walk near sunset, and would time it so perfectly that you would end up at the place you first met right when the sun starts to set.
The sky is filled with picturesque shades of pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges, and you stop for a moment to gape in astonishment at its beauty. He admires you as you stare at the sky, your hand held to your forehead to shield your eyes from the brunt of the sun’s mighty rays, your eyes filled with such bewilderment that it warms him from the inside out. He takes this moment to kneel down onto one knee, reaching back to fish out the black ring box he had put in his pockets a few hours before.
“Y/N…” he says softly, trying to get your attention. You turn around, expecting him to make fun of you for being so infatuated with the colors of the sky, but instead let out a strangled gasp.
“Holy shit, are you-“
“Yes,” he smiles up at you and reaches out with his left hand to grasp your right. He gives your hand a loving squeeze, sucks in a breath, then continues, “I knew from the moment we met here all of those years ago that I was going to marry you. You know how I knew?” You shake your head no. “The moment our eyes met, I was filled with such a sense of completion that there was no other way to explain it. I’ve told you many times that I don’t believe in soulmates, that I think it’s just a shanty created by the romance genre to create unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. But…I’m now thoroughly convinced that you are mine.”
“Connie, I-“
“Marry me.”
“Yes.”
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
Taking a nap with you under a thick blanket. He loves to be held by you, so preferably with him on top of you, your arms wrapped tightly around him and him using your stomach as a pillow. Prime sleeping position for Connie Springer.
#aot headcanons#aot#attack on titan x reader#connie springer x reader#connie springer#connie springer fluff alphabet#snk#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan
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