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grumpyoldsnake · 1 year

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Liveblog: Sword of Destiny by Andrzej Sapkowski

Context: I caught bits and pieces of several scattered episodes of the Netflix Witcher series while at my parent’s place, and have had my curiosity piqued! I’ve already read The Last Wish since then; you can find my thoughts here.

Further context: I don’t actually know anything about storytelling techniques. High school English classes were a long time ago, hah. But… I am currently actively trying to learn via observation. So! A lot of my comments are going to be on that topic: what I’m seeing, why I think it’s been done that way, how well I think it’s working, etc

Disclaimer: Names might be misspelled, and most quotes will be paraphrased. I’m reading via audiobook at work. That said… there should be a bit more cohesion this time, since I’ve decided to actively comment as I go rather than dump all the thoughts I’ve had after already getting 2/3rds of the way through the book, hah.

The Bounds of Reason

Getting a bit more insight into how Geralt generally expects to be treated (badly) and how he responds to a random friendly overture (positively), which is neat!

Sapkowski continues to write about women in ways that make me wince. Is it the end of the world? No. Is it rife within fiction? Yes. Do I have to appreciate it? Also no. Am I going to largely ignore it because it isn't a conversation I'm interested in carrying, and has been carried out much better by other folk? Also yes.

Oh hey! This is a storyline from an episode that I did catch snatches of. Wasn’t paying the closest attention though, not sure how well I followed the plot. The one guy is the gold dragon, and Yennefer wants her own biological baby? And everyone is very upset and argumentative at the end.

Good grief, what the hell did Geralt do to Yennefer? They seemed to be on genuinely positive terms at the end of The Last Wish, even if in the framing narrative (Voice of Reason) it was pretty clear they weren’t anymore… guess I was just expecting to see the cause of the falling out more directly than this?

Unless I genuinely did just miss it because it was a sentence or two of “and after they were very sweet and Yennefer claimed to be touched, Geralt snuck off in the night without a word,” in which case. Mm. Well. There are drawbacks to reading via audiobook while at work, and brief lapses of attention when something that major is written that briefly is one of the biggest. :’)

If that is it, then good grief their positive interactions did not last long. 😂

Anyway!

…oh okay yeah we’re still somewhat touching on the theme of Geralt’s social life and the lack thereof.

Geralt’s here like ‘yeah half of them don’t like me, but at least they interact with me normally about it, so yes, I’m sticking around’ and that’s just. Oof. :(

Let’s see… Nenneke, Jaskier, those are both positive relationships, even if Nenneke fusses and annoys Geralt. He seemed pretty friendly with the Alderman in Blaviken but, well, that went down in flames. He calls Vesemir his father. He may or may not have kept in touch with that Not!Beauty and the Beast guy. Yennefer is complicated. That’s… about all we know of, so far?

And look, having only a few friendships isn’t necessarily a bad thing when those relationships are strong.

But it is pretty rough when nearly every other interaction in your life is fraught with tension and when you don’t so much as see those friends for semi-long stretches of time. :/

And then obvs. the hostility of the world is upsetting in its own right as well

Holy fuck. Uh. Yennefer does definitely have opinions about childbearing, doesn’t she. >_>; Ma’am you are… a bit tangled up inside.

I still… hm. I still don’t always quite follow Geralt’s reasoning, I’ll be perfectly honest. And not in the ‘why do you feel like this’ way that I grumbled about with Yennefer, that’s a perfectly common experience for me, but a rather more literal ‘genuinely what the fuck is motivating this I haven’t the faintest idea.’

Not sure if it’s a reading comprehension issue on my part… maybe I’ve just gotten too used to books that are a little more inside their POV character’s head?

Or it could be a translation issue with some nuances lost.

Or it could genuinely be an issue with & shortcoming of the writing. Idk.

Anyway in this case… why in the world was Geralt gearing up to go fight the dragon?

He’s spent the entire past book and the beginning of this book insisting that he doesn’t hunt dragons. He turned Yennefer down. Even if he hadn’t, he vaguely agreed with Dandelion’s request to try not to kill the dragon, so… that’s not going to get Yennefer what she wants? What is he hoping to accomplish?

Seriously I am lost. He says it’s because there are “limits to the possibilities I will accept” (murdered that paraphrasing but listen you know what I mean) and I’m just. What the fuck is that supposed to mean in this context???

Truly if any of you have thoughts I would be happy to hear them, hah

…ah. Well. That degenerated quickly 😂

Dandelion is an ass

…baby dragon is adorable <3

…Yennefer has both decided against dragon slaughter after all, and somewhat forgiven Geralt, and I don’t know the cause for either change of heart :’D

Well okay no she did seem touched by baby dragon. That bit makes sense. Still not sure abt Geralt though.

Much friendlier parting terms than I expected! That must have been a plotline invented for the show, or at least accelerated and included earlier than it might otherwise have been.

…wow okay I’m a lot more longwinded this way. Maybe I’ll. Uh. Split this book up by arc. 😂

Next part to be posted whenever I find the time!

#these aren’t being posted in real time btw. I’ve read and taken notes pretty far in advance before ever getting around to posting ahah #the witcher #the witcher liveblog #the witcher liveblog (books)#the witcher (books)#andrzej sapkowski #sword of destiny #sword of destiny liveblog #the bounds of reason #liveblog #liveblogging #life flails #my stuff

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hajimewhore · 3 years

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Body Swap 👫 (Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader) ➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 3.2k words ➷Humor, slight angst, misunderstandings, mutual pining, shenanigans ofc, i missed oikawa ➷ Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, ✈Part 7

Hajime nearly chokes, wiping the ‘potion’ dribbling down his jawline, he presses the back of his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep the disgusting concoction from exiting his gut.

“...How was it?”

You try to pat his back sympathetically (he’s gagging now), but you’re the one that insisted he try the mystery remedy first, and you cautiously pull your hand away as he shoots you the most menacing glare he can while he’s coughing into his palm.

“It was made with weird mushrooms and fucking plants, how do you think it tastes?”

Terrible, you guess. And the effects were supposed to be instantaneous, according to a recipe dropped in one of the posts you found… not that you expected it to work.

“Ahh, and nothing happened.”

You rub your jaw semi-thoughtfully, before catching the look on Hajime’s face.

“Uh, Hajime?”

His expression is glaring, not unlike someone scheming for revenge. But that’s silly, Hajime wouldn’t blame you for the potion not working, right?

“It probably didn’t work because you didn’t try it with me.”

It seems he would, realization sets in as Hajime closes in on you, and you panic,

“I think it didn’t work because it was someone bullshitting!”

“Don’t you want to swap back? Just drink it!”

“You’re just mad, get away from me!”

You trip on your feet, stumbling into the kitchen table. It scrapes the tile as your hands clutch for purchase on anything that’ll help you get you away from the madman behind you, but the tablecloth you’ve grasped at isn’t much help seeing as you swipe it off the table entirely. You’d be impressed that all the plates and the flower-filled vase stayed perfectly set on the table from your impromptu magic trick, if it weren’t for Hajime assaulting you.

You cry out as if you’re being brutally attacked (you are, technically–just with plant juice), and Hajime takes you by the jaw and tilts a cup of the swirling cocktail to your lips, sloshing rather unappetizingly in the glass. If the thing had an aura, it’d have a thick gray cloud fuming from it.

“And why would I be mad?”

“Because I made you drink a potion I found on a weird thread even though it was totally suspicious and completely untrustworthy!”

You confess to your sins, the thread was actually some sort of troll that promised the reader would swap bodies with their favorite celebrity, and you cast it aside for the likelihood of that never happening, it was probably a scam to get some gullible teens to drink essentially dirt.

And you admit that initially you thought it would be funny to prank Hajime, jotting down the recipe and conveniently leaving out the celebrity bit, but in your excitement to scheme you forgot Hajime doesn’t take too well to pranks at his expense.

Not without retribution at least, and you find yourself grappling at his wrists, attempting to turn your head away from the glass.

He eyes you with a too eager grin,

“You should try it, really, it might work.”

It didn’t.

It was disgusting.

You have learned your lesson not to trifle with Hajime, and you're no closer to finding a solution to your problem.

You slump onto the kitchen table, feeling especially abused and violated by the plant paste you regretfully crafted.

“That’s number one on the list, what’s next?”

Hajime rests his elbow on the table, chin in palm as he scrolls on his phone.

“Bonk our heads together so hard we pass out and hopefully wake up in our own bodies?”

You suggest. Who knows, it could actually work.

“No thanks, I’d rather not wake up the same way but with a concussion.”

The second Hajime turns down your cartoonish suggestion, his phone lights up and buzzes, signifying a call.

You glance at his phone, “Tooru’s calling you?”

“Fuck. I’ll just ignore it,”

The moment he sets his phone aside, the kitchen door bursts open, presenting none other than Oikawa Tooru, entirely expected given the situation and the fact that Hajime’s parents are still at work.

“Tooru?!”

You blink in surprise, and Tooru frowns at the sight of the two of you together.

“I knew you were ignoring me!”

“What the fuck Shittykawa, who said you could come over?”

Hajime grimaces, forgetting to stay true to your personality in his surprise. Tooru’s brow ticks at the catty response to his entrance.

“I see you’ve been spending too much time with Iwa-chan, using his terrible nicknames! I didn’t think you’d ever use it on me either, but here we are!”

He folds his arms across his chest, and Hajime covers his mouth.

Shit, he let that one slip in his initial shock.

“Besides, this is Iwa-chan’s house, and I say I can come over! You two have been ignoring me all week and coming up with the shittiest excuses—”

“Oikawa—”

“No, let me finish!”

He huffs, looking more serious than you’ve seen him outside the court. Judging by his posture and the worry in his brows, you can tell he’s been stressing himself lately. You bite your cheek, knowing full well you and Hajime were the root of the cause.

“Both of you have to go to the dentist when the office is closed, really? Iwa-chan studying for a test that’s not for another week, please! Give me a break. Not to mention, every practice you play like shit Iwa-chan,”

It’s not shit, you’re just not Hajime’s usual, because you’re not fucking Hajime. You want to argue, defend yourself and Hajime, but you keep your lips sealed.

“You act like a total weirdo, you hardly talk to your own teammates and friends, and you–”

He turns to Hajime, technically you, scowl ever present.

“You always run off with him after school! And don’t even pretend like you’re not having lunch with him too, Kunimi-chan saw you eating alone together by the art building–ditching me, yeah?”

He’s fuming, and his hair is moving in every direction accompanying his wild, frantic gestures.

The guilt starts piling, and you’re starting to regret yours and Hajime’s way of handling the situation.

To avoid uncomfortable situations and messing up, you thought the best method was to steer clear from everyone entirely.

Clearly that’s backfiring, but it’s too late to erase those actions now.

“Not only have you two spent all week lying to me, you’ve been completely ignoring my calls and texts all weekend too!”

Tooru pauses, rant seemingly over, but neither you or Hajime feel inclined to speak yet, too caught off guard by the outburst, and unsure of what you can say to remedy the situation.

Tooru drops his arms at his sides, glancing away from the two of you, biting his lip. Your shoulders tense when you feel the atmosphere around him drop significantly.

“Are you guys mad at me?”

Oh.

Oh fuck.

You forgot he had feelings.

“Oikawa, it’s not that, I swear.”

You speak first, and Tooru looks to you with an expression that almost breaks your heart right there. Brown eyes glossy, lips in a thin line as if he’s trying to keep them from turning down into a frown, he looks genuinely displeased.

“Are you just sick of me? Are you tired of hanging out with me? I know I’m an asshole sometimes, but if it makes you guys that upset I can stop, I’ll be better.”

In any other context you may quip with a ‘you could stop this whole time?’, but the joke wouldn’t sit right, and Tooru looks entirely too on edge, fingers tapping at his sides restlessly.

Tooru’s always been the type to stay true to himself, unabashedly and unapologetically. He knows he’s flawed, has learned to accept his shortcomings as a person. But here he is before you and Hajime, willing to cast aside his pride for the sake of your friendship. It only serves to guilt you more, considering it’s based upon the lies you’ve built up.

“I promise we’re not sick of you, we just… had something come up that we had to deal with. It’s been really stressful, I’m sorry.”

You don’t particularly care if it’s too out of character, it’s what Tooru needs to hear.

Risking a glance at Hajime, you see he’s shaking his leg and biting his lip, a few of his nervous tics, he’s contemplating something heavily.

“And you can’t tell me? You always tell me when something is wrong.”

Tooru eyes you suspiciously, and it’s true, usually you can tell Tooru anything. But this isn’t something believable, and you and Hajime both decided it’s best kept a secret.

“We can’t, but it’s nothing you did. Don’t worry about it, we’ll start hanging out soon, like we used to, we just have to deal with this ourselves.”

And you hope you’ll be able to, it’d be nice to go back to normal. You did miss movie nights with Tooru and Hajime, and you miss having lunch together on the rooftop.

Tooru thinks for a moment, you see the gears turning in his head, eyes focused. He glances to Hajime, who hasn’t said a word the entire time, still tense on the other side of the table.

Tooru’s contemplative gaze flicks to you, as if he’s had some sort of revelation.

“Did you get her pregnant?”

WHA—THAT’S HIS REVELATION?

“You asshole, shut up!”

Hajime’s choice first words.

“What?! No, no, fuck no!”

You blush heavily at his wild accusation, and Tooru looks visibly relieved.

“Oh, thank god. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing, necessarily, and I always kind of expected it, but this is just too soon.”

He laughs airily, as if he doesn’t feel the weight of his words like you do, heavy on your heart. Does everyone have that assumption? That you and Hajime would one day be together like that?

“We’re not even dating, idiot.”

Ouch. Hajime’s adamant refusal jabs at you, and you try to ignore the ache that claws at your chest. That may have stung a bit, but you certainly won’t admit it out loud.

“Yeah, yeah. I just couldn’t think of any other reason you’d be ignoring me like that.”

“It’s ‘cause we swapped bodies.”

You whip your head to Hajime, physically ripped from your disappointment, too shocked he’d blab the truth to Tooru and expect a reasonable outcome from it.

“Hah. Hah.”

Tooru doesn’t even entertain the explanation, arms crossed and eyes disinterested, accompanying the dry laugh well.

“It��s true.”

You hope Hajime knows what he’s doing.

“Funny, and I didn’t think you’d be in on it Iwa-chan, looking so surprised like that.”

Tooru doesn’t even look skeptical, or remotely fazed, as if he doesn’t want to be tricked into falling for something so blatantly stupid.

And normally, he’d be right to, but in this case, you and Hajime were unfortunately not kidding.

“I just didn’t think Hajime would openly admit that without talking to me first.”

You shoot a glance at Hajime, as if to convey ‘I hope you know what you’re doing’, but he merely shrugs in response.

“And you’re a real prankster today too. What’s gotten into you guys? Seriously, are you mad at me?”

Tooru is starting to look a little peeved, visibly doubting your words of encouragement from earlier.

“We’re not mad. We switched places. We woke up last Sunday in each other’s bodies. That’s why we haven’t been ourselves, and that’s why we’ve been avoiding everyone.”

Hajime continues with his explanation, as if Tooru would be any closer to believing it.

Which he isn’t.

“That’s not even possible, but fine, I’ll play along. You’re Iwa-chan, supposedly. What’s something that only he would know?”

Tooru crosses his arms smugly, staring at your body, who is ‘supposedly’ Hajime, as if he’s got you two in checkmate.

This can’t be good for Tooru, but it’s definitely going to be good for you if you’re getting in on a secret.

“Alright. You swore me to secrecy for this one,” Hajime doesn’t hesitate for one second, “that time at the volleyball banquet last year you saw a girl with a ‘nice ass’ in a ‘super mega tight dress’ and wanted to hit on her, but when you tapped her shoulder, she turned around and it was actually Y/N–”

Now this is very interesting news to you.

“H-HEY, STOP TALKING–”

Hajime side steps Tooru’s attempt to cover his mouth,

“And you pre-gamed before the event so you drunkenly admitted to me that you’d still tap that but she’s practically your sister and that’s gross but her ass looked so–”

“I get it okay! How do I know you’re not just fucking with me and broke the secret pact we made?!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off and glares at you, but you’re giving him the widest, shit-eating grin.

“I knew that dress looked good.”

“Enough games already!”

“What about the time in elementary school where you and I went to a volleyball match and you had to–”

“ENOUGH, enough, I believe you, okay!”

Tooru relents, red-faced and practically sweating from his nervous panic.

“I wanna know about the time in elementary school where you and Hajime went to a volleyball match and something happened.”

You put your hand up, wanting to know the juicy details. You thought you and Tooru told each other everything, but apparently there’s some missing gaps in that ‘everything’, and you’re very eager to learn.

“We made a friendship promise and he swore me not to tell anyone but because of the circumstances, he had to—”

“I said I believed you already, stop trying to out me!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off at the best part, every time.

He taps his foot with a huff, bottom lip twitching into a frown. Hajime gives him a smug look, staring back combatively, as if Tooru will attempt to call out bullshit again (he won’t).

You’ll have to remember to ask Hajime about the middle school incident at a later date, but right now,

“I’m sorry we kept this from you, and sorry I kept ignoring your calls, Tooru. We didn’t know what to do.”

You interrupt their staring contest, wrapping your arms around Tooru in a tight hug. You’re the tallest you’ve ever been, and it’s weird to hug him when you aren’t yourself, but you missed your best friend.

“Uh…”

Tooru awkwardly pats your back,

“I was kind of lying before because I thought you guys were trying to shame and humiliate me, but this is really weird and I actually might believe you now.”

“Asshole, that’s all it took?! And stop hugging him like that, it's freaking me out!”

Hajime slaps Tooru on the back, yanking you by the back of your shirt to pull you from the hug.

He grumbles something indecipherable under his breath, contemplating whether he should even say anything,

“I’m sorry too. I guess.”

He gives Tooru an awkward, much gentler slap on the back, before slinging his arm around Tooru in some sort of half-hug gesture.

“I-Iwa-chan! It really is you in there!”

Oikawa’s fake tears spring to life as he bends down to wrap Hajime in a hug, who struggles like a cat wanting to be released.

“Get off me!”

Tooru pulls back, wiping a tear from his long lashes,

“I’m still really upset right now, I really thought you guys hated me! So if you could please shower me with adoration, that’d be lovely.”

Tooru spreads out his arms, a pathetic expression on his face that Hajime doesn’t buy for one second.

“Tooru! I love you! You’re the best Tooru, your jump serves are great! Your setting is unmatched! You’re my bestest friend!”

You cheer him on, Hajime is balking that you’d even entertain the idea of doing that in his body, let alone acting on it, but Tooru eats it up with gleaming eyes.

“Quit feeding his ego!”

It’s your turn to be scolded by Hajime, but you just stick your tongue out at him sheepishly.

“He deserves it?”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly! He didn’t do anything, and we were being bad friends.”

“I’m on your side,”

Tooru slings an arm around your shoulder and gazes down at Hajime, who’s more aggravated now than when he was drinking straight plant paste.

It hadn’t bothered him too much initially, but having to crane his neck up to glare at Tooru is sparking some caveman urge deep inside Hajime to absolutely throttle him.

“Out. Get out of my house.”

“Technically, this isn’t your house–OW, Iwa-chan, that still hurts!”

“Newsflash Asshole-kawa, girls can hit too!”

They can, and you let Hajime prove his point.

“So,”

“If it’s something about aliens, I don’t want to hear it.”

You interrupt Tooru before he can spew something definitely about aliens.

“I wasn’t going to bring up aliens–though it’s a very valid cause you definitely need to consider. I was actually going to ask if you have any idea how long you’re gonna be like this?”

You give Tooru a tired look, and Hajime just ignores him entirely, tired of glaring no doubt.

Tooru’s been lazing around, attempting to ‘help’ you and Hajime, but you doubt he’s accomplished anything aside from scrolling through the same threads you’ve looked through. You’re willing to bet he researched for a minute or two before losing interest, abandoning the task in favor of looking through Karasuno’s and Shiratorizawa’s match history.

“If we knew, we’d tell you.”

You respond, since it seems Hajime isn’t interested in replying.

“Ooh, that reminds me,” Tooru props his elbows up on the couch, pausing whatever volleyball match he was watching to drop his phone on his chest, “I saw this foreign family comedy once where the mom and her daughter swapped places, but they had to show each other selfless love and understand what the other goes through to swap back.”

Tooru gasps in additional realization before turning to Hajime, “Iwa-chan, are you her mom?”

The look Hajime gives Tooru is enough to put him in a grave and send secondhand chills down your spine.

“Sorry, sorry, don’t hit me again! Your hands are pointy and jabby now, it’s hard to get used to.”

Ignoring that,

“Hajime and I already understand each other, we have to put up with you all day.”

“True,” Tooru is completely unbothered by that comment, “I did see a romcom where the two main characters had to kiss at the end, they ended up swapping places like that.”

You don’t like that he casually suggests this with such an innocent look on his features.

“That sounds stupid, watch better movies.”

Hajime grunts out, and you’ll admit that kissing Hajime would be nice, but under normal circumstances preferably. You don’t particularly want to kiss yourself as Hajime.

“I appreciate all your knowledge in films that have body swaps in them Tooru, but this isn’t a romcom, or a movie.”

You sigh, and Tooru hums thoughtfully.

“Sure, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

He sits upright with ease, sliding off the couch and pocketing his phone,

“Anyways, I’ve got more practice to do. I’ll try not to be too hard on you tomorrow, now that I know you’ve swapped with that brute over there. Ciao!”

Tooru ducks out of the living room and out the Iwaizumi household before Hajime can assault him, and good thing, he probably would’ve had some bruises from your ‘jabby’ and ‘pointy’ hands.

With Tooru’s quick escape, you’re left contemplating whether that suggestion would actually work or not, risking glances to Hajime across the room.

A/N: not me ending a chapter on a juicy bit again afjknddm, anyways im posting this at an ungodly time but i hope everyone enjoys!

taglist: @cybergovl @babybellecheese @keijikunn @168-cm-png @sexy0android @cuddlesslut @bumbledunce

#haikyuu!!#hq!!#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi haijime x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime/reader #haikyuu reader insert #iwaizumi hajime fic #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader

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dreamerinsilico · 4 years

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Thanks to The Good Place s4 having made its way to Netflix, and me having Feelings, I’m going to take a bit to publicly chew on them now.

TL;DR: same as basically every take I’ve seen, it was a great finale that handled each of the characters in a way that made sense and also I cried through most of the last episode. But also I have vaguely cranky philosophical ruminations about it that don’t make me appreciate the show any less, but definitely want to yap about it.

(Details under the cut, because spoilers and also this may get long. Also apparently it’s going to involve some spoilers for The Old Guard. And maybe a few minor NBC Hannibal references.)

So, first I want to reiterate: the way the show ended, given everything else the show had done, made sense and was emotionally satisfying to me. I loved it.

In a bigger-picture sense, though... I’d really like to see more media that interfaces with the concept of immortality without concluding that death is the only way to give the human (or humanoid) existence meaning. Where we end up in the finale of The Good Place makes sense, in that it’s already been established that there’s an afterlife that doesn’t really have any inherent meaning beyond individual souls’ experiences of it and their relationships with one another. And it’s not hard to imagine that a lot of the small dramas and conflicts that provide variation to even very peaceful lives would be invalidated without any kind of pressure from those material needs. Given the foundations of the show, Our Heroes’ decision about how to change The Good Place for the better is... the only reasonable conclusion.

And, you know, I don’t blame the show for not being The piece of media I’m hoping for to just come out and say outright, “you know, actually fuck this whole death thing. Not a fan. Don’t need it. Let’s get rid of it.” That’s not what this show was ever even remotely trying to be about. It’s about coping with the reality of the human experience in the 20th/21st century, which includes death. (Even with my transhumanist leanings, as a bioengineer and also someone who ardently pays attention to other fields, I will not even hint at denying that this is going to be a mandatory part of our reality for quite a while yet.)

The conclusion the show draws that I very much do agree with (regardless of one’s stance on death) is that we require some form of tension to inject meaning. When I picture myself in the Final Form of the Good Place, I think most of my energy and desire would be focused on (I guess like a combo of Chidi and Tahani) asking questions of people there, and making peace with relationships that had somehow been left hanging. There’s a finite amount of each of those. I’d run out eventually. My scientific passion would have a hard time finding an outlet, because the laws of physics don’t apply and I can’t interface with living people who could still make use of my expertise and stubborn propensity to problem-solve. I’d like to think my creative leanings would still matter, but I’m not positive to what degree they would in that environment. (It’s worth a chuckle to me now that when they offhandedly noted that Shakespeare’s thousands of posthumous plays weren’t anywhere near as good as the ones he wrote on Earth, I was initially indignant. But with further thought it makes sense that the longer one is removed from that tension I referenced previously, the harder it would be to make meaningful art. Or to even have that art be appreciated by the audience, since, on the audience side, successful art plucks against the tension of the strings the audience itself carries. And when your audience is restricted to people in paradise who have already at-least-mostly self-actualized....)

Something about the finale that I’m still chewing over how I feel about was the very last scene. The implication of some form of reincarnation. (If that wasn’t supposed to be the takeaway from that... well, please tell me, but I *think* I remember some kind of rewards card reference with Eleanor and Michael from an earlier season?) The incurable romantic part of me appreciates the concept of reincarnation on principle, so that’s one thing. It’s also entirely in keeping with Chidi’s metaphor about a wave returning to the ocean - that wave is gone; it’ll never be there again, but the stuff of it is still there and ready to take form again. But the part of me that very much sympathizes with Simone and, while not being a neurologist, is very concerned with Theory of Mind... reincarnation doesn’t do much for that part. If I die, and my metaphysical essence eventually shows up in a different human who has no connection via memory to their past lives... well, that’s very aesthetically pleasing, I guess, but the point to me is, the information was still lost. When I died, my subjective experiences, memories, and capacity to act upon the world as Dae the Irascible Multi-Academic was lost, because my reincarnation doesn’t have access to that (much as I did not have access to my previous selves’s experiences).

Anyway, speaking of incurable romantics, let’s talk about The Old Guard! When I was previously starting to complain about no media that interacts with immortality as a concept avoiding the canard of “death gives life meaning,” I stopped myself. Because you know what, The Old Guard didn’t fucking go there, and I’m proud of everyone who worked on it for that. Booker thinks death is the answer because he has lost hope. But the person he appeals to, the person he thinks he’s doing a favor, is Andy. Who has lived millennia more than he has, lost the implied-love-of-her-life, and still has the will to keep going. Her questioning of that is intrinsic to the storyline, but at NO POINT does she ever indicate she wants to die. And Nile’s appearance reinvigorates her, even as she knows she now actually has an expiration date. (And the expiration date is not what invigorates her. It is Nile and the attendant situation reminding her of why they do what they do.) I ultimately really like The Old Guard’s take on immortality, because it gives us a spectrum of reactions to it. Nile, generally freaked-out and not happy about any of this but trying to do best by the people she loves. Booker, jaded and wanting to end it all. Andy, pretty jaded but when push comes to shove wants to keep fucking trying, and doesn’t just step back and abdicate responsibility when it’s clear she isn’t going to be around much longer. Joe and Nicky, not necessarily always happy with their circumstances, but taking strength from their relationships, not just with each other, but with the group as a whole. (I have a whole essay brewing, which may or may not eventually see the light, about their romantic connection being important but kind of only a part of their overall attitude about the group and how that is intensely important.)

And because apparently I’m just going to keep tacking on essay-stubs to this one post, when I thought about how to start this, I also thought about how Hannibal Lecter (in NBC Hannibal) says, “The thought that my life could end at any moment frees me to fully appreciate the beauty and art and horror of everything this world has to offer.” And I’m just kind of marinating in that (hah) for the moment because it represents a hedonism that The Good Place, in aggregate, rejects. But you can’t really compare those two stances, because of course, Hannibal Lecter is a human, subject to human standards of beauty and horror. I shouldn’t go off on a big tangent about this here, because the point of NBC Hannibal is emphatically not about immortality or mortality, but I felt it worth mentioning because a) hyperfixation and b) it’s an interesting thread in the wider discussion I’m interested in, that I like placing in context.

Anyway if you’ve bothered to read all of this, thank you profusely. I have a lot of feelings about The Good Place which mostly boil down to “I loved it,” but I can’t help but poke at the whole death thing. That’s kind of a sore spot for me in media.

#the good place #meta #tv shows #the old guard #hannibal #(last two tags minor discussion but including for archival purposes)

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dragimal · 4 years

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Longform Audio Creepypasta Recs

hey TMA fandom! as a new TMA listener but looooongtime creepypasta fan, I find it rly cool that ppl who aren’t into horror are getting into TMA! I’m hoping this will help bring fresh blood (hah) to the horror fandom, so if you’ve realized that you rather like audio horror but don’t know what else to look into, I’m here to recommend my favorite longform creepypasta narrations!

this is far from an exhaustive list of long creepypastas, but I just want to introduce some of the stories I consider to be the best of the genre. and while I’m just reccing longform in this post, there are plenty of short one-shots I could rec if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific theme/Entity or even a specific ep of TMA (there are several MAG eps that brought me straight back to a specific creepypasta or two, lmao)

also, I’ll just be linking to MrCreepyPasta’s narrations b/c I’m heavily biased so I mostly listen to him, but there are plenty of other great narrators out there like CreepsMcPasta, CreepypastaJr, etc. (most of their names are variations on a theme asdfgh). and if u just want the text version of any of these, every video I link has a link in its own description back to the original text posting of the story

THAT outta the way, here are my recs! I’ll try to remember all the trigger warnings I can, but keep in mind I tend to be p hardy to most horror content, so there may be some things that slip past simply b/c they don’t register to me. also it’s been a minute since I’ve listened to some of these, so some have updated or I may have just forgotten some aspects. I’ll also update this if ppl find it useful and I find more good long pastas~

Penpal (2.5 hrs, complete)

op recounts some of their odd experiences as a child, all of which stem from an elementary school project involving a pen pal. as he recalls these experiences, a horrifying picture of his past begins to emerge...

easily my favorite pasta of all time-- and that’s saying something, considering there are some damn good recs here. it’s one of the first I read so long ago, and few have come close to what this one made me feel. op does an incredible job of capturing the nostalgia and childhood wanderlust of youth, and the last few lines of each chunk of the story hit like a goddamned truck-- esp "Friends”, I cry like a baby every time, it just.... hits something tender in me...

TW: stalking of children, subsequent kidnapping and child abuse at the end (and while it’s not necessarily *confirmed*, heavy implications of child sexual abuse, for that last bit). implied cat death. some graphic description of the victim of a hit-and-run

Search and Rescue Woods (~5 hrs, ongoing?)

op recalls several of the strange and disturbing experiences (their own and quoted from coworkers) of working search-and-rescue for an unnamed national forest in the US

y’know that feeling u get when u see photos lawn chairs just sitting at the bottom of the ocean? even if there’s a perfectly good explanation for why they’re there, it’s still haunting b/c it feels wrong to see them there, in that context? that’s basically this entire assortment of stories-- the obvious example being the stairs, of course, but even a lot of the human elements feel so out of place and wrong. if you’re a fan of Spiral-type horror w/ a hard edge of Stranger, this is the story for u

TW: generally clinical but graphic descriptions of mutilated bodies. use of the r-slur against an nd individual (it’s during a story that the main character is quoting from a different one-off character, so it thankfully only happens the one time..). child death, in certain stories. some wild animal death

Borrasca (2.5 hrs, complete)

Sam moves to a small mountain town with his family after his father’s job relocates them. he hears some spooky legends about the town, but doesn’t think much of them... that is, until his sister disappears. as Sam and his friends dig deeper into the town’s history to find any clues to his sister’s disappearance, they begin to realize there’s something deeply deeply wrong with their quaint little home

I’ve always loved horror that’s ‘mundane’ enough to be done by regular humans, but vague enough that it could actually be supernatural, under the right circumstances-- and this is one of those mysteries that keeps u guessing until the VERY end. my mind felt like that Pepe Silvia corkboard meme the first time I listened to this, I was losin’ it. this is also prolly one of my favorite examples of MCP’s talent as a narrator, b/c he adds in his own subtle foreshadowing with his voicework, and it blows my mind every time I listen to it again

also worth mentioning there’s a (3.5 hr) sequel! since the horror/mystery is basically done after the first one, the sequel is mostly suspense/thriller and character closure. if ur just here for the horror/mystery and the gut-punch of that first ending, then the sequel isn’t necessary. but if you want more closure for our dear sweet cast who deserve so much better, then by all means!

TW: the ending involves heavy sexual abuse (involving underage girls, no less), part of which is graphic. like I know I joke abt having to take breaks after reading emotionally exhausting stories, but I genuinely had to take a couple days of recovery after this one-- and that’s from someone who’s p hardy to all kinds of graphic content. do NOT take this warning lightly if this is a sensitive topic for you

Tales From the Gas Station (10 hrs for free, otherwise ongoing)

Jack works at a gas station at the edge of a middle-of-nowhere town. Strange things happen at the gas station-- bipedal deer stopping by for a drink, dark gods leaving vague messages, fingers growing from the ground out back, sudden lawn gnome appearances-- All just a part of the daily grind, right?

so if I wanna be totally fair, this is more a rec for Night Vale fans than anything (tho the TMA/WTNV overlap seems to be p significant). the comedic, nonchalant tone taken towards everything supernatural and horrific is p much 1:1 WTNV. I’ve genuinely cried laughing at some of the fuckshit that happens, esp anything involving Jerry. not to say that GST doesn’t have its heavy-horror moments, but the frequency is more comparable to Night Vale’s approach-- dark comedy definitely takes center stage, here. tho this also varies by the POV-- the “Finding Vanessa” arcs are told from the perspective of a more serious character, so the heavy parts are far more frequent and hit a lot harder

as for the time estimate, here’s where it gets a littleee bit complicated. the first version was put out for free, and read for free by MCP (among a few other narrators). this came out in several different parts, and the one video I linked above has compiled *most* of volume 1, but not the Halloween story, featured here. HOWEVER, the author has taken a second go at v1 and beyond, which is currently ongoing and available to buy as books or audiobooks ALSO narrated by MCP!

as for deciding which version to listen to, I’ll just try to describe the differences here. the first version was written entirely via Jack’s online forum posts, which were subject to more direct reader interaction and Jack’s scatterbrain. thus, the first version leaves a LOT more details up to reader interpretation/theorizing, straight up doesn’t have or explain certain plot arcs yet, and is very disorganized in terms of timeline all due to Jack’s canon memory issues. this all, personally, made it v fun and silly to follow, but I’m aware that’s not for everyone. the second version is written from a more standard first person narrative from Jack’s perspective. while Jack’s memory issues still make him an unreliable narrator (often *upsettingly* so in this version), the actual narrative is far more organized, complete, and easy to follow. the fun thing is that the first version can still be considered canon material to the second version, as Jack references making those very forum posts within the second version narrative. so, personally, I consider the second version to be the core cohesive story, while the first version is supplemental, fun material that provides more context for a few of the strange bits that happen in the story (like Jack’s ‘secret admirer’ makes more sense if u’ve listened to the first version). either way, the second version is the only way the story is going to continue (as far as I’m aware), so if you’re ONLY going to listen to one version of the story, listen to the second version

TW: for the first version, there are some uncomfortable jokes/implications at certain points-- associating villains/assholes with fatness and/or personality disorders is unfortunately a running theme, and a few off-color jokes are made abt some of Jack’s conditions (general mental health and his brief use of crutches). there’s also a point at which it’s implied that a specific one-off arc is a ploy to rape Jack, tho nothing actually comes of it beyond awkward scheming (but just in case, that story is specifically “Death at the Gas Station” at the very end of that long compilation, if u wanna skip it). for the second version, I believe the author was made aware of these issues and either straight-up removed or fixed most of them in some way. there’s just one point where an intentionally-questionable character uses the g*psy slur, and a few points where a regular commenter on Jack’s forum posts has w*ndigo in their username

in terms of gore for either one, uhhh maybe some descriptions of injuries? body horror? this one’s a lot harder to call for me, b/c the comedy softens the blow on a lot of the horror

Accounts From a Lonely Broadcast Station (5 hrs, ongoing)

Evelyn is the new voice of a small mountain town’s local radio station. her job is to take calls, play music (ALWAYS play the music), and broadcast emergency warnings whenever the fog rolls in from the surrounding forest. pretty standard stuff. she tries to make the most of it-- if only that damn crow with human eyes would stop watching her...

this one’s similar to Gas Station Tales with its heavy reliance on dark humor, but it takes itself a bit more seriously, with a more even split b/t genuine horror and comedy. also MCP brings in wonderful extra voice talent w/ this one, I RLY love Evelyn's va ;w;

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation and body horror

My Friend Has Been Living in an Alternate Reality (4 hrs, complete)

op’s eccentric friend, Clint, turns up on op’s doorstep unannounced after several years missing. Clint vanishes again just as abruptly, leaving op with a journal detailing a horrifying, dangerous journey that’s almost too bizarre to believe, yet...

so this one’s more like an action/thriller with horror garnish, tbh-- very exciting and suspenseful! I love the weird, apocalyptic world Clint describes in his journals, and the societies that have cropped up around these hostile circumstances

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation/injury

My Name is Lily Madwhip (~8 hrs, ongoing)

Lily Madwhip sees things before they happen. they’re usually horrible things like deaths and injuries that she wishes she could prevent but often can’t. at least her best friend-- an angel possessing one of Lily’s dolls-- is around to provide advice

this one’s from the perspective of a little girl, and it leans into dark humor enough to soften at least some of the more traumatic moments. Lily’s young enough that she’s somewhat removed from the full gravity of the deaths around her, but the fact that it’s happening so frequently at all seems to be warping her perspective towards death to be more... casual? is that the right word? it’s just a rly interesting perspective to see for horror. also we’ve got another rly great guest va here for Lily~

TW: brief descriptions of injury, but they’re not graphic. frequent animal death.

The Showers (2.75 hrs, complete)

op recounts a scary story he heard from a teacher back in high school about a vague location and a terrifying encounter. he later ventures to find this location to see the truth for himself, but is it worth it?

this one’s a classic-- I think it was of the first creepypasta I listened to? not this version, but I wouldn’t be able to tell u which narrator it was at the time. I won’t say that this one’s the most unique story out there, but something abt it has always stuck with me?.... idk, I think the premise rly hooks me

TW: oh god it’s been a while, but I don’t remember anything particularly triggering? maybe body horror?

#creepypasta #creepypastas #the magnus archives #tma #shut up ashley #blease give creepypasta a chance I need more horror friends /wretched crying emoji/#also I would've recced 1999 but I JUST found out abt all the controversy over someone reposting and pasting in parts from other stories #I totally understand why op wouldn't want the story narrated anymore shit sucks

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aparticularbandit · 5 years

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Current State of Bandit Fic:

This is long, so I apologize to everyone on mobile if that read more does not work and you have to scroll through a really long thing you don’t want to read. Sorry!

Completed JTV Fics (by which I mean completed drafts not completed and posted):

Carla

The rough draft is completely finished.

There are fifteen chapters total.

Some of these chapters are really rough and need a lot of editing.

Okay maybe not a lot but definitely some editin.

I plan to post a chapter every other week hopefully on Mondays.

But honestly idk if I’ll keep track of which Mondays I’ve posted a chapter and which I haven’t unless I have something to alternate them with.

Luisa and the Fox

The second draft is completely finished.

It’s off with my betas.

I’ve mostly let it lie fallow for the past month-ish (or maybe only a couple of weeks idk how long it’s been friends), which means I should be able to come at it with new eyes, too.

There are five chapters total.

However, I do currently plan to have a second connected fic that’s half a direct follow-up and half I just want Luisa and the Fox fluff.

Stuff that didn’t really fit into the fic proper (like the freckles scene).

I plan to post a chapter every other week on also hopefully on Mondays.

The plan is to alternate these with Carla chapter updates, but right now I’m waiting on input from at least one of my betas before posting another chapter.

This may change in the future because I’ve been getting antsy for...a lot of reasons.

In-Progress Posted JTV Fics (by which I mean I don’t have a completed draft):

If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now

Now that Carla’s rough draft is finished, polls have said to focus on this one.

These chapters are harder, so hoping to do one a month.

But this really depends on how well the chapter is going - y’all probably noticed a longer wait between chapters 7 and 8 because group therapy was a barrier.

Unlike Carla and Luisa and the Fox, this fic doesn’t really have a chapter-by-chapter plan (and even Carla didn’t until those last chapters...mostly).

So I kind of know what I want to happen through the course of the fic and the order of things but sometimes more set-up is required than just jumping around (or maybe it’s not but I feel like it is).

I have no idea how many chapters are left.

At least seventeen, if my current projections are correct, and that’s dealing with stuff that I feel like needs to be in separate chapters (although I may change my mind on that later), not even necessarily including stuff that I want to sprinkle in among other things (Rose meeting with her therapist, scattered Susanna stuff, etc.), which means it might be longer, it might not be.

And like - even with those seventeen - I feel like some of them definitely warrant some cool-down time between or something like that, so guesstimates would project more than that.

Jane: The Real Story

This was second on the polls as far as things y’all wanted me to focus on.

I don’t plan to schedule updates on this one. They may just happen when they happen.

These tend to be less intensive than the IYLHYBHN chapters, and they may fill in the every other week on Mondays slot when Carla is posted, but don’t hold me to that because I would prefer these to be unscheduled.

I also have no idea how many chapters are left.

I do plan on at least getting into s2 and s3 and potentially dealing with some of the stuff happening in s5 - like the Michael has amnesia! bit because that was part of the original post - but this is subject to change.

Mainly I have plans for that Michael bit and then dealing with Susanna and why Luisa and Rose are gone for a while.

And if this turns into Jane quit telling Mateo lies! then we...need an older Mateo.

I don’t know where/when I plan to end this.

This one is super flexible and I intend to leave it being flexible because I like having it that way.

The Adventures of Rose, the Baker’s Daughter

I like writing fairy tales don’t judge me.

This may jump into the every other week on Mondays slot when Luisa and the Fox is posted, but I may just start immediately into the other Luisa and the Fox fic that I mentioned instead. Not sure on that yet.

I don’t know how many chapters are left.

There are at least seven, but just as with IYLHYBHN, that’s stuff I feel should be segmented into chapters and does not include other stuff that might happen between those chapters (like, for instance, I have a couple of general plot point chapters for later but don’t know all of the interconnected stuff). In this case, I’d expect more than seven chapters. If I finish it. Y’all don’t seem too keen on this one.

There’s a lot of uncertains on this one, too, but I think that’s okay because y’all don’t seem too excited for it.

In-Progress Unposted JTV Fics (by which I mean I don’t have a completed draft):

Everything’s Coming Up Rose’s

90s rom-com au that no one really asked for but I’m over 17k deep into writing so you’ll probably get it anyway.

I mean. Technically it was fourth on stuff y’all wanted me to focus on, actually ahead of The Adventures of Rose, sooooooooo. Y’all want it but when it comes down to only getting one option on things, you don’t.

And you certainly don’t want it more than any of the other proposed aus.

Looking at maybe twelve? chapters.

Already wrote the first two and started the third, as well as having a chunk of chapter...7?? written and a bit that maybe shows up in chapter...8?? and another bit that might show up...in one of the earlier chapters maybe but I’m not sure where to put it yet.

The first two chapters are super rough but I like them, and I like this story. A lot. Which is why it kind of hangs out and still shows up on polls.

AND LIKE. I ACTUALLY KNOW THE WHOLE PLOT. DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE THAT IS.

I don’t know when I’ll start posting this one, and since y’all’ve told me y’all want me to focus on other fics in-progress and other aus, this should be lower on my totem pole but. I like it. So it’s not.

Luisa and the Fox: Shenanigans

Continuation of Luisa and the Fox.

No set number of chapters.

This is here for me to have more with these characters because I like them and there was more I wanted to write with them (originally just the freckles scene, but there’s starting to be some other stuff that I kind of have hanging around in my head that I might do) that didn’t really fit into the original story.

Don’t plan on posting these until after Luisa and the Fox is posted for obvious reasons, and this may fall into the every other Mondays slot once Luisa and the Fox is done. I haven’t decided yet.

Brainstorming JTV Fics (by which I mean they’re primarily in the brainstorming stage but they may have a little bit written for them):

Harry Potter AU

The most requested AU on the poll.

Currently projected to have seven multi-chapter books.

Currently planned to be set concurrent with the original series.

Which means it may be more a crossover than an AU. Ish.

I’ve been rereading the original series so as to get a better idea of how things fit together (and the anti-Slytherin stuff and commentary is so big and I don’t think it stops because even if you bring up Snape it’s in context of we sorted him too soon and he should’ve been in Gryffindor so like. THOUGHTS).

This looks like it will be really long if I keep with this idea and write the whole thing.

Please don’t expect this to be finished quickly.

Please expect that I will likely take breaks to write other things.

Focus is on Clara as the viewpoint character.

I’ve made changes to birth years so that Clara and Luisa are born in the same year.

This does put Luisa a year higher in school than Clara, but since they’re in different houses anyway, this doesn’t really present a problem.

I might be overthinking this.

I’ve started outlining the first book.

I paused at chapter twelve because still figuring out the overarching series plot so the first book plot should tie into that.

I do have a general idea of character arcs for Clara/Rose and Luisa over the series and how that plays into what is discovered by the original trio over the series.

I also have a good idea of what happens in the final battle. It’s the externals that’s causing me more problems than the character-character and internals.

I’ve started the first chapter of the first book, but it’s really rough and probably will have a lot of changes.

Hallmark Holiday Special

The second most requested AU on the poll.

Currently I have a general idea of which version I want to go with.

Those of you who were around in November/December know that there were two variations I was playing with. A lot of aspects of those got retooled and put into Everything’s Coming Up Rose’s - and I mean a lot of aspects of both because I took the Rose from one and the Luisa from the other and meshed those together. However, this means I can take the one that plays the Hallmark tropes straight and not worry about the complications I’d originally planned for that because they come up somewhere else, which. lets me play it more straight.

Straight, hah.

Maybe five chapters?

Off the top of my head thinking about where the chapters would break?

Maybe?

Sounds about right?

Because they’re, like, 1.5hr shows with commercial breaks every fifteen minutes, but each commercial break is like five minutes or more, so there’s like. five segments, right? Something like that? My math on this is probably wrong but. five segments? Maybe?

I could probably jump back into writing this (I did start this somewhere in November/December) but I think I want to retool the beginning for other stuff that I think might mesh better than what I initially did. And it needed to be edited and I should rewrite the beginning anyway, so.

This is just backburner as far as writing because do you see all of the other stuff?

Also there’s -- just because I know what needs to happen in each chapter doesn’t mean I actually have concrete plot for each chapter and I kind of want to know the complication before I jump into writing so I can make sure to get that set up properly soooooooooo we’ll see.

The hope is that I have this set and ready to post in July.

Primarily because the idea of Christmas in July makes me happy.

--and you know what. There are five Mondays in July. I could just have this be what I update weekly in July if there are actually five chapters.

Tentative schedule maybe????

University AU

Tied for third most requested AU with canon-compliant soulmate AU, which is below.

Since the poll for prof/prof or student/student is deadlocked at a tie, I plan to go with prof/prof.

To counterbalance the HP AU, which is a really long extended student/student AU. With a whole bunch of other stuff.

I may do a student/student university AU later, but probably not.

My most recent ideas for the student/student university AU combines with the non-canon-compliant soulmate AU and hit some of the same points that IYLHYBHN does but in a different way with different variations. Ish. So because I still have general ideas for that, maybe, maybe not. Unsure.

This is currently being brainstormed.

I have a general idea for how to start this off.

So, like, the first two chapters, maybe? Or, like, a prologue and the first chapter?

I know how I want Rose and Luisa to meet, which would be the second chapter or...not the prologue.

I have a general idea as far as Luisa’s character.

I have less on Rose as far as concrete aspects, but I may get there.

I might jump into this one before the Hallmark Holiday Special just because it’s lingering in that place where you feel like you could be starting off on writing something and it’s there sort of thing?

Idk, it feels like less fluff than the HHS, which still needs some plot straightened out before I feel completely comfortable jumping back into it.

Canon-Compliant Soulmate AU

Tied for third most requested AU with university AU (see above).

I’m not focusing on this right now.

I know people like the one-shot and want a continuation of that, which is why this was on the poll.

I like the one-shot as a one-shot. I think it is complete as a one-shot. I don’t think expanding on that one will actually make it any better.

Which is why, if I revisited the soulmate timer idea, I’d planned on doing it differently and ended up combining it with the university student/student AU idea.

I do not plan on continuing the one-shot but instead want to deal with other soulmate AU tropes if I do another soulmate AU.

Given that I’d rather play with other soulmate AU tropes, I want to look through general ideas. Once one of those stands out to me as something that could mesh better in the long form for something canon-compliant, I can start better brainstorming.

So I guess this is less in the brainstorming stage and more in the idea collecting stage.

I hang out in the RPC, so I should be able to find one of those soulmate tropes posts at some point. And if not, you have all these other things above to look forward to that are getting more focus than this is.

This, of course, doesn’t include any one-shot ideas or the other aus I listed on that poll (I still really want to do the SG/Tick/JTV crossover because I’ve got ideas for that and how that would work), nor does it include any non-JTV fics I may or may not be writing/editing/etc.

So, basically, lots of content if I can get my butt sat down to write it. We’ll see how it goes because, honestly, looking at all of this is intimidating, and like, I’m excited for...most of these projects but. It’s a lot. It’s a lot.

But I just wanted to update y’all on current projections for these.

#musings #bandit does an update #bandit writes fic #carla stuff #luisa and the fox #iylhybhn stuff #luisa and the fox: shenanigans #jtv: the real story #roisa hp au

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sacrificialarrow · 5 years

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It’s not even Sunday and I’m revealing trade secrets up in here. ( Aka talkin’ about the nasties below the cut. )

kink meme

GENERAL

ROMANCE/AFFECTION: Mmm.... This one gets rather complicated thanks to Solas’ trust issues. Like in the past, I would’ve said it didn’t matter bc he’s more the type to have sex if and when he feels like it, and everything else tends to just be details for a later date. ( Read: lots of one night stands and the like. ) But now he can’t hardly bring himself to let people he doesn’t trust touch him, let alone get him vulnerable enough to orgasm, so. There’s almost always a correlation now. Besides which, it’s his opinion that it adds a great deal to the experience.

HANDJOB/FINGERING: As a method of teasing, sure, but on its own, not his thing. BLOWJOB: Giving one tends to be a rather enjoyable experience for Solas, getting to watch and feel and control his partner squirming -- and the more reactive his partner is the better. ( How they react isn’t necessarily important unless something about it rubs Solas wrong -- in which case you’re just fucking done, and you won’t see that tongue of his in that context again. No three strikes, you’re just out of luck, pal. ) Receiving.... Unless the person giving one gets something out of it, he can take or leave it. Like he doesn’t dislike it, particularly, but that doesn’t mean he particularly likes it either. DEEPTHROAT: Tbh... Kind of a specialty of Solas’, where his body doesn’t??? Quite always respond to things in the way a normal person’s might??? Like he doesn’t feel at all bothered by any amount of hot or cold, and he has no gag reflex. So as you can imagine, he can take it like a champ. SWALLOWING: Depends on the person and mood. EDGING: Sometimes, and sometimes only. It depends wholly on the mindset he goes into during sex; sometimes he remains a very calculating little shit hellbent on teasing his partner to almost no end, but others, he gets very primal and animalistic, so understandably, some of the finesse goes out the window in favour of raw passion. In the former, no one should be surprised to learn that he’s got no problem with dishing it out and receiving it, though in the latter, he has no patience for it. TEASING: HAH. Solas is absolutely terrible about teasing partners, and often does it intentionally at inopportune times and places. ( Barring the times that he’s focused on whatever’s happening, anyway, bc then it doesn’t come to mind to do it, and he’s p well immune to being teased. )

DOMINATION

DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?: Listen, I once saw this thing that said “I only sub for love” and that right there is p well the sum of the answer. Solas is a switch to his core, but he actually has to give enough of a shit about someone before they’re allowed that much control over him. ( It’s a trust issue thing. But make no mistake, it’s also something of a right of passage with him too; prove that you’re worthy of it, and you’ve earned it nigh irrevocably -- fuck with him in ways he doesn’t like one too many times, though, and I can’t promise you won’t have to retake the test again :/ ) DOMESTIC SERVITUDE: Absolutely tf not. Solas is actually quite adventurous, in that he’ll try most anything once to feel out if the sensation of it’s something he likes ( that’s a whole other tangent for another day though ) UNLESS his immediately the first sentence. Which this is. To him it would feel far too weird and gross to find any enjoyment in, where his mind would automatically snap to the countless number of slaves he’s liberated and trained over the centuries, and it just.... Wouldn’t feel good. PETPLAY: This kind of goes with the above, but I think would fall under the ‘how dare you belittle me; I’ve worked harder than you’ll ever know to not be treated like a dog’ category. ( Mind, you can maybe pet him while he’s a wolf, but that’s more that he understands the impulse, and it feels nice anyway so it’s w/e. ) DISCIPLINE: Solas is definitely a fucking brat, so probably. But this feels like a grey area to me, so I can only imagine it’d depend on how it’s done. Giving... Ehh. Probably not his thing. BEGGING: He himself will not, but if someone else wants to, it’s their prerogative as long as it doesn’t get excessive. Though Solas tends to prefer partners as equally headstrong and proud as himself, so it’s actually something of a mild turn-off. Easily gotten over and or overlooked insomuch as it’s not over zealous, but turn-off all the same. FORCED ORGASM: I don’t know what this is, and I don’t wanna know. ORGASM DENIAL: Not really; he’s more of a let them come as they will sort.

RESTRICTIVE

GAG: Maybe. A very soft maybe. COLLAR: No. LEASH: Get that the fuck out. BONDAGE (LIGHT): Tricky at best, this one is. If he can get out if he wants / needs to with relative ease, very slight maybe. If it’s a partner pinning him down, probably yeah. But like the other has happened in one too many deeply unpleasant situations before to where it’s more likely than not to trigger him tf out. BONDAGE (HEAVY): Definitely not. The idea’s intriguing and tempting, don’t get me wrong, but it goes with the other, except that he’d panic each and every time it happened. Which is fun for no one, so absolutely no.

TOYS

DILDOS: I’m just going to preemptively say on all of these that I kind of think Solas in general prefers a lover to an inanimate object bc being able to sense the other person’s spirit is just. I can’t think of wording here, so it just feels nicer of a sensation than something that doesn’t really have a presence. The closest he likes is magic play bc even that is still unique to the partner in how they cast, and familiar enough in being from the Fade. Solas is v particular about his stimuli, you see. PLUGS: ^^ VIBRATORS: ^^ SOUNDING: ^^ COCK RING: ^^

GROUPS

ORGY?: He’s done them a time or two and doesn’t like them at all. It’s too much on his system. And yeah, it might actually be different now that he’s older and more used to taking in a lot of sensory information at once, but the bad taste in his mouth remains all the same. THREESOME?: It’s cute that anyone thinks Solas would share ever. VOYEURISM?: Are you kidding he barely even likes being kissed in public, it’s not anyone else’s business. As for doing it himself... He’s got better things to do. He’d get bored v quickly.

PAIN

LIGHT: Depends on the type. HEAVY: Don’t fucking do it. Solas isn’t into experiencing pain in the first place, and in the second, depending on what it is, you’re more likely to get an unsavoury response out of him ( as in him kicking your ass for it ) before you get anything even approaching pleasure. NIPPLE CLAMPS: Keep that shit far, far away. WAX: Doubtful. BITING: Highly encouraged CANING: No idea what this is, and I don’t care to find out. SPANKING: Soft maybe, but probably not. SCRATCHING: He’s not going to complain if you scratch him, and him scratching others is more of a natural response when things are hot and heavy. Ofc, he’ll work on it / redirect it if his partner’s not into it, but like??? It’s instinct, so you gotta let him know. HAIR PULLING: Don’t

Tagged by: @ofrhapsodes wants to know Solas’ secrets

Tagging: If you want to tag me I guess??

#come what may I shall see this through ( headcanon. )#/nsfw

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queerofcups · 6 years

Text

giving the people what they want timestamps

my fingers slipped?

00:00 - I know some people feel like the thumbnail is a little clickbait (not queerbaity, don’t make me fight y’all about this) and I don’t necessarily disagree but goddamn did it work on me. I don’t think we’ll ever see them hug, which is fine, its not something I personally need, but it definitely makes stuff like this feel like a Big Deal. But also, less sappy, where the hell is Phil looking.

00:07 - 1. They’re fucking creepers who read every too deep post we’ve ever written about them. 2. They look, So! Fucking! Good! I enjoy Phil Lester, Adult Man with an Adult Haircut so much more than I ever realized and I just stan down for Dan and his Connor McDavid Franta cosplay. They look like real human adults who are in love and I just. Yes. Also, love seeing more of the flat.

00:28 - This post is gonna be long as fuck. I’m really fascinated with the PR work happening here to push us away from thinking of Dan and Phil as characters when they very clearly think of Dan and Phil as characters. It came through A Lot during TATINOF and if they’re trying to get away from that particular branding I think its super smart of them to address it head on (even if I feel like its bullshit personally)

1:00 - Every time they say something about giving the people what they want I think about the Janelle Monae song Given Em What They Love, which neither of them know because that’s way too cool a reference for them but its very distracting for me.

2:13 - Hey so can we talk about Dan straight up acknowledging that people were requesting they fuck and just…leaving that out there on the floor? Oh, no? We’re gonna let him have that one? Fair enough.

2:20 - This has got to be deeply uncomfortable for them.

2:36 - And now 30 full seconds of them discussing their hair, vain bitiches

3:18 - “Kissing the lion”, mhm, your face/mouth region isn’t directly next to Dan’s crotch, we’re totally paying attention to the lion kissing.

3:20 - Jesus. The fucking cuddle that launched two careers and a billion words. Precious, awkward babies.

4:13 - So the choice. To include not one but both of the cuddles in PINOF 1 in a current day video when its entirely likely that there are people who haven’t bothered to go back and watch the other PINOFs is just. Their construction of their glass closet is sort of breathtaking? Because they just put it out there! They put it right in our hands. But then they just. Talk about something else. Because what this? Oh this isn’t a big deal, but I could have hit my head!!

5:08 - Finally! A flaw in this video! Give us Dan in the ice cream shirt, goddamnit!

5:39 - I don’t…have anything to say about this, they both wear clothes very well.

6:14 - Dan, baby. One, read better fic, because these descriptions are rough. But two, that’s literally not what monochrome means.

6:27 - Dan looks like the worst fucking hipster in the ladybird/bug shirt. Like he only reads what Pitchfork has to say about rap albums bad. Like he unironically quotes reviews from The AV Club bad. He only drinks IPAs and describes himself as a “sapiosexual”.

6:36 - “Everything is improved with a bit of glitter”. Gay! So gay. I love him.

7:01 - Plz stop calling Phil’s thighs thick. Please. I’m begging you.

7:43 - Y’all know they did a DITL in Manchester so you motherfuckers wouldn’t stalk them and find their apartment right? I just want us to all acknowledge that. And yes, you should feel bad.

7:56 - Real, sincere question for anyone who hasn’t seen the V-Day Video. Were you VERY confused about them talking about this damn wheel?

8:15 - Ah yes. A Manchester macchiato. That’s totally a thing outside of one very specific context. Ahaha. Hah. Hah. Everybody just be cool for one second.

8:22 - Phil……..is hot. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.

9:16 - If you exchange “challenge” with “discourse”, you basically get my and Mandy’s chats about Fandom These Days. But also give me more of Dan and Phil being the old farts on youtube who have Seen Things Change forever.

9:55 - “I’m just going to put my ass in the air and hope for the best”, sure, sure. But also, as he gets into downward dog, yelling about dogging. Phil is fucking filthy, y’all can’t take this from me.

10:13 - Dan’s shirt is v translucent. This is also not what I meant when I requested a yoga video but I’ll accept this.

10:21 - I was uh, genuinely concerned Dan was going to pass out. Y’all know he got a condition!!

10:32 - SO LETS TALK ABOUT THIS MOMENT. Phil is lovely and glowing and giggly. But Dan? Dan is down with your shit, my shit, our shit, he is d o n e in the way that only queers are done with your heterosexual bullshit. Stop asking who the woman is, Dan’s face says. Stop worrying about our sex life/ves, Dan’s face says. That shrug says I fucked asked, are you happy now you fucking creepers. I love it. I love him.

10:42 - But also, back on my bullshit, look at those clasped hands.

11:08 - If you showed any of this footage a year ago, we would have called bullshit and photoshopping and also magic.

11:15 - [redacted]

11:17 - [wow also redacted]

11:40 - I don’t care about dogs but I’m so happy for all of you

13:25 - “filling the hole with dogs”. Ah yes, that well known kink meme prompt. Or so I’ve heard. Listen fandom used to be a Wild West.

13:38 - I’m certain this is partly scripted or at least prepared for but I’m still so charmed by both Phil and Dan’s little “talk to me, Phillip Lester”. I really do genuinely appreciate Phil talking about why he doesn’t swear.

13:51 - I’m also utterly charmed by the image of Phil just randomly coming up to Dan and being like “CUNTS”

14:41 - You know that scene in Lion King where the lady hyena is like Don’t say Mufasa, just hearing his name gives me chills, and then the other hyenas do and she’s all *shudders and groans*. Its just relatable is all I’m saying. But also? What is this jump cut.

14:55 - Can we get Phil to say cunt now. Is that the next level up? I don’t have any emotional reaction to the word but I’ve been told its worse? Or maybe that’s just in America. Maybe I just wanna hear Phil curse, some more, don’t judge me.

15:10 - They’re sponning but friends. Countrymen. We gotta figure out how we’re going to record and document the events of every show. We need to get on our shit *now*. I lived through the summer of Glee Live, this could be so good if we just make it work.

16:19 - “We’re gonna talk about funny times in our lives” “and we’ll be on the road so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of stories we’ll be desperate to tell” I am so fucking glad we decided to do two rounds of tour fic prompts over at @phandomficfests. We’re going to have so much content to play with, I’m so pumped.

#phandom

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sapphicscholar · 6 years

Link

Letter 72

March 22, 2012, 4:26pm

Morning Alex!

I know, I truly live such a hard life. Basically reenacting Dickens over here. I’m excited to tell you all about Paris! And it’s not weird: no matter how much fun it’ll be to see France for the first time and catch up with some friends who've been scattered all across Europe, I’ll miss you too.

Oh the nihilism of determinism…bringing me right on back to philosophy classes, Danvers! Interesting choice with the future because then you could fuck anything up, and it wouldn’t matter because you could come back and not do things that way. But then there are questions like, with the knowledge you have now, will you necessarily act in different ways? Not in a deterministic sense but would simply having additional information impact the way you act? Probably, right. And maybe some of those new choices would save you from pain, but they might also change good things down the line. Like, say, if kid me knew giving a card to Eliza would blow up in my face to the extent that it did, I might not have done it, but, shitty as all of that was and continues to be, would I have then tried to fight harder and change myself in unhealthy ways to appease parents who loved me only if I met certain criteria? Our experiences make us who we are, of course, so maybe it’s simply that I can’t quite imagine being where I am now without having gone through them, even if I wish I didn’t have to in some cases… I was gonna ask if you think you’d seek yourself out while traveling, or if you were of the camp that believes that seeing yourself would mess it all up. I guess if you’re the type to seek yourself out (and I kinda think I am…), that means time travel doesn’t become a thing before we die because I’ve yet to meet future me… Or maybe future me knows some shit about how bad things would be if she popped on back here. Who knows!

Yeah…I don’t know. Obviously I owe my aunt a huge debt of gratitude, and we made things work, but it was hard. She wasn’t quite old enough to suddenly be given a teenager, and it certainly wasn’t a choice she’d made so much as one that by necessity she felt compelled to accept, and now she’s getting a chance to do it right with some guy that makes her happy and a little son she’s getting to raise from the very beginning. I wasn’t in a great place when I moved in with her, and it really took a long time to open up at all, and by then, I was just about ready to move out to college. And I didn’t want to keep bothering her then, so I got jobs on campus for the summer that came with free housing, so we saw each other but…not much. I don’t know, sorry for rambling.

I get it, Alex, really, I do. But I suspect she misses her big sister. And I doubt that she’s expecting perfection from you—not that there’s anything wrong with you either! It’s okay to be figuring things out. You’re in your 20s! You don’t have to tell her everything right away if that’s not something you two do, but you don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You don’t have to shoulder the weight of those expectations for everyone else. And, speaking from personal experience, there’s never really a great time to open up…it’ll be easy enough to find an excuse or a reason for why it’s not the perfect time. But if—and big if here—you think it’d make you feel better or be a good thing for you, don’t let worries about timing be the only thing stopping you. And I’m always here to talk and listen if you think that maybe now isn’t the right time to be talking to Kara for you personally.

Now please tell me you also have photos of said punk rock phase. How punk rock are we talking?? Ah yeah, that makes sense about the phone and charger. If all my futuristic devices were for communication, it makes an equal amount of sense that your “must haves” are to support the people who matter most in your life. You shoulder a whole lot of responsibility, and I hope you’re getting all the support you need.

Oh wow…sounds like a delightful birthday! I’m so glad you have video evidence, especially if you’re still friends with any of those kids! My best birthday was definitely my 19th. I was in college, and my birthday was during finals, and also just…no one had any reason to do anything for it? I mean, we knew each other, but not for that long or anything, and they all had busy lives. But my roommate invited over all of my friends and packed our tiny-ass room to the brim—scared the shit out of me when they all jumped up when I got back, but it was great. They’d even made me a homemade cake with the absolute messiest icing decorations I’d ever seen, and it was amazing.

Not that my lucky number does anything for me, but it’s 16. I like that it’s a perfect square, as is its root. It’s neat and clean, and I love it. Also it’s even, and that’s important.

I could see you looking great with short hair! I mean, you look great now too. You get what I’m saying, right? I had bangs when I was a kid…not a good look. I don’t know who told hairdressers that all kids should get bangs, but they definitely shouldn’t. Especially not kids with thick hair.

Bahhaah no, Danvers, it’s nothing like the hanky code! Oh my god, now I’m envisioning all the possibilities that you could have conjured up based on that code… No there’s some comedy routine about it, but also like, in addition to the borrowed shoes, I know some people are very worried about the sanity of those willing to stick their fingers into germ pits and then go right back to eating nachos and act like they don’t have ebola or something.

Hope the bucket list creation is going well!! And if there are any items on it I can help with while you’re in Italy, I’m always down to help! Hah oh god! If it meant seeing you in a Lara Croft costume, though, I’d happily suit up in a dinosaur onesie. I will say, though…uh, looking at sizing, they seem to think all adults are brontosaurus-sized (what “average” adult is 5’9”-6’0”???). I may be a little closer to the 5’ end of the spectrum…

On to your questions!

1. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff with as much house pride as a Slytherin

2. What do you wish you knew more about? So many things! But I’d really love to know more about alien cultures. I think it’s fascinating because we’re so used to the way things are here (and even getting out of a U.S.-context, we still generally understand how things work elsewhere because there’s a lot of interconnection and communication between cultures), but who knows what life is like out in space! Maybe it’s really different or weirdly similar—in any case, I’d love to know

3. What are some small things that make your day better? Ooh, good question! Hmm…talking to other people? Or, not just people in general, but people I can really have a good conversation with. I think your emails qualify, and our Skype dates definitely do. Then I also like getting to talk to my students or sit down with some of the other teachers. Oh and dogs. Dogs always make a day great. Unless you can’t pet them. Then it’s a bummer.

Questions for you! Do you people watch and, if so, do you ever make up stories about the people you see going by? What’s your least favorite question to be asked/compelled to answer (icebreaker games are also acceptable here)? If I set you loose in an art museum, then came back for you, where would I find you? The last question may or may not be inspired by extensive research about all the art in Paris…

T-19 days, Maggie

#sanvers #maggie sawyer #alex danvers #letter fic #long distance relationship au #fluff #ao3feed #fanfic #supergirl #co-authored fic

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dramallamadingdang · 7 years

Text

Lotsa replies

Figured I’d better do ‘em before I get absorbed in writing up this tutorial thing...

These go back a ways because I’ve been, as usual, lazy/preoccupied. :) They’re for @esotheria-sims, @maybesomethingdunno, @nerianasims, @penig, @holleyberry, @plumbobsquareface (who has an awesome username), @immerso-sims, @eulaliasims, @lisac-h, @mustluvcatz-reloaded, @sim-boo, @acquiresimoleons, @pensblr, @didilysims, annnnnnnnd @mrningbrd...

Geez, I need to not put off doing these like this... And I should probably split this up, but...meh.

esotheria-sims replied to your post “So, um....”

Well, with an introduction like this, even if I *weren't* interested in the stuff you have to offer (spoiler alert: I am), I'd still be curious to see what it is at the very least. :) Some of those old Pandorasims sets (if those are what you were referring to here) could definitely use better textures.

Yup, some of the stuff is from Pandorasims, indeed. And from xxxsims. Slig did some nice recolors of some of the latter’s stuff, at least, but I want to high-res ‘em a bit and do some different colors for my own uses. The Pandora stuff, though? Needs serious help. I mean, I get that the textures for these items were probably not the main attraction and all, but...well, such things are important to me. :) I want my game to look nice even if no one sees this particular aspect of it but me. And I imagine storytellers would want better-looking textures, too, for pics/videos.

maybesomethingdunno replied to your post “So, um....”

Generally speaking, I feel like if you want to create something (whether it's Sims content, a story, or a goofy sketch), then create it. When it comes to Sims content, there's always someone who'll download and appreciate the content. Simmers are a diverse breed with a wild assortment of stories, hoods, and gameplay needs/desires. So on the heels of "If you want to make it, make it" is "If you want to share what you've made, share it." Kinky Sims for all! :D

*high five* Yeah, I know what you mean and that’s generally my attitude, too. This stuff, however, was going to be just for me, but then I got to thinking about how there’s a dearth of nice-looking stuff of this type and...Well, I can do something about that. I think, anyway. We’ll see, with some of the stuff. But, due to the more sensitive nature of this kind of stuff...Well, I second-guess. :)

nerianasims replied to your post “So, um....”

I'm interested and have no need to be anon about it. (Also grr 50 Shades times a million, such a horrible example and SO badly written to boot.)

OMG, don’t even get me started. I mean, OK, yeah, the whole thing sort of normalized mine and my husband’s lifestyle a little bit which on the one hand might be a good thing....but on the other hand, it didn’t do it right. Even if it was well-written (which it totally isn’t; it was a bad Twilight fanfic that was obviously written by someone who’d never had even remotely kinky sex, much less any contact with real people who practice BDSM), it portrayed an abusive relationship, not the sort of thing real people who are into this sort of thing practice. Just...ugh. Awful, awful thing. >:(

penig replied to your photo “Owen has…interesting…jammies. And, like Aaron when he was a kid, Owen...”

What pervert even made those in a kid's size?

Skell, I think. I think it’s part of her repository project. I don’t think it’s necessarily perverted, though, especially not in game context. I mean, if you go by the speech bubbles, kids regularly talk about sex with their parents/siblings at the dinner table in the game. :) But even if that wasn’t the case...Well, kids will wear or have or do inappropriate things that they don’t know are inappropriate. They just think it’s pretty or something. Like, in this case, I imagine Owen likes those jammie pants just because they have purple hearts on them. He’s purple, so he likes purple things. :) He has no idea what they mean, and his parents probably think it’s funny. Because they’re that way.

holleyberry replied to your photo “Do you think she adores him? I think she adores him. He, of course, is...”

What's a Gilsbruty to do?

Not much, apparently. *grumble* CERTAINLY NOT PROCREATE! *glares at Simon and wills him to pass on his genes, dammit!*

plumbobsquareface replied to your post “Were-Klingons! Actually, wouldn't that be a nice idea for a default...”

i'm so glad to see other simers that are also into star trek :')

Ohhhhh, I’m a big huge honking dorky Trek nerd. Even published a fanzine, back in the day, was heavily involved in Usenet newsgroups in the early days of the internet and was staff on one of the big-at-the-time forums when such things came to be. I’m not in the fandom per se anymore at all for various reasons, but I’ll always watch the shows and read fanfic and that sort of thing. (DS9 is my fave. TOS will always have a special place in my heart, of course, but most of my Trekker heart belongs to DS9. :) )

immerso-sims replied to your photo “Aaron GilsCarbo, dancing like the nerd he is.”

Dem pink sandals tho ;)

Aren’t they precious? He actually aged into the outfit all by his little self and the pink sandals just sort of define him. That and the surfer hair. :)

maybesomethingdunno replied to your photo “This is Josephine. Young, pregnant with an unknown number of babies,...”

Next she will become addicted to Sim cat nip :P

...And then she’ll be in and out of rehab for the rest of her life. Such a sad, sad tale of woe. :)

lisac-h replied to your photo “Aaron rolled up a want for that “I was abducted by aliens”...”

Mark Twain saw Worf and said, "Werewolf!"

He did, didn’t he? HAH! :D God, it’s been forever since I’ve watched TNG. It’s not my favorite of the shows, but I should give it a rewatch one of these days...

eulaliasims replied to your post “Oh, God, it’s the 10 questions meme again!”

I would add an evil laughter gif here, but Tumblr won't let me, so you'll have to imagine it. :P Yeah, it can be surprisingly hard to find historical fiction that isn't focused on romance sometimes. I don't mind some, but when it seems to take over the rest of the story... meh. That's what I read fanfic for. And now I have the Ride of the Valkyries in my head too, but at least it's not Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer again.

It’s not that I can’t deal with ANY romance in historical fiction. I can if it makes sense within the story and the real history because, hey, these were real people and they fell in love and had relationships and all that. One of my favorite books (The Sunne in Splendour, by Sharon Kay Penman) is about Richard III, and a chunk of the 1000-page plot is about the relationship between him and his eventual wife and what impact that had on him as a person which in turn affected what kind of king he was, and that’s all good. But then there are those that are set in, say, Henry VIII’s court and it’s all thinly-veiled trashy romance novel tripe. (Yes, Philippa Gregory, I’m looking at you.) If I want that, I’ll sit and watch The Tudors, for God’s sake because ooh! Really hot men, gayness, AND boobies, yay! :) I’d rather read about about how that court really was. I mean, it was intriguing enough without having to pruriently sex it up. :p

Geez, this is my “ragging on popular books” post, apparently. :) And you’re welcome for Ride of the Valkyries. *evil* It is now, thankfully out of my head.

mustluvcatz-reloaded replied to your post “Oh, God, it’s the 10 questions meme again!”

I'm half tempted to answer your questions just because they're so NOT about the sims, but I may be too lazy to right now, lol.

You should do it! I want to know what brand of TP you use! :)

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “Aaron got his wish to grow up, ‘cuz, y’know, it’s not like it’s...”

I never could work out how to make a restaurant run properly either.

The “secret” is to run them with as few employees as possible. Especially at first. Because they will suck out all the money you make and more. So, you either have to have the owner do all the functions (Host(ess), cook, waitstaff) -- which you can do at first because you won’t have a lot of customers until the place levels up to at least Level 3 -- OR you have to use slave labor family members to fill the roles.

Also, having a limited menu of items that don’t require a lot of cooking skill is necessary, unless/until your cook levels up. Otherwise customers will end up with a lot of burnt meals, which lowers loyalty and makes it harder to get stars and level-ups and all that.

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “And Owen, Arcadia’s other alien sprog, grew up, too. He looks like a...”

His face kinda scares me ��

It’s the eyes. They’re creepy. But it’s what the PT who spawned him has, so...

sim-boo replied to your photo “Simon being macho… …and, afterwards, not so macho. :) And that’s it...”

R u saying bubble baths arent macho?

Well, anything that a macho man does becomes macho, right? :) But, traditionally? Not so much, no. :)

didilysims replied to your photoset “Simon taught Suzy to roll over….and then cleaned up an ocean of dog...”

Wow, that's more pee than I'd think would fit inside that little dog!

*laugh* Well, it is two dogs’ worth of pee. :) And one of them is a big dog. They just both chose the same pee spot. Right by the front door, of course. *eye roll*

pensblr replied to your photo “Nekkid treadmilling. Saves on laundry.”

*laughs* Just imagine how unfortunate it would be if sims experienced the real life pain of falling on a treadmill...while naked.

I know! I have visions of dangly bits caught in the mechanism, and OW! :) That’s totally a bad kind of ow, too.

mrningbrd replied to your photo “Oh, Benny. Benny, Benny, Benny… Of course, it happened right after...”

tell simon i can relate. this happened the other night at 4 am. my condolences

Oh, God, you poor thing. My dogs at home in Colorado are constantly having skunk encounters lately, apparently. (I’m not there, at the moment, but the ranch hands report in regularly. :) ) It didn’t used to be so bad, but apparently there’s a skunk population explosion in the nearby area...

#esotheria-sims #maybesomethingdunno #nerianasims #penig #holleyberry #plumbobsquareface #immerso-sims #lisac-h #eulaliasims #mustluvcatz-reloaded #acquiresimoleons #sim-boo #didilysims #pensblr #mrningbrd #replies

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rpedia · 7 years

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[Ask RPedia] Anxious About My Writing: Help?

Anonymous asked: I know this is normal for writers and that there isn't a real solution but I'm gonna ask anyway: Any advice on how to stop feeling insecure about what/how I write?

Oh man, this is gonna sound like such an asshole move, but my favorite way to help myself is to write to spite everyone else. Seriously. Write like you hate everyone else in the world. Write like they mean fucking nothing to you. Write because they’re gonna get what you write, and they’re gonna like it, if they know what’s good for them. Write to make that mental editor representing the ‘them’ in your head mad as hell.

It’s always energized me to flippantly declare to myself that if people don’t like something I like, they can go fuck themselves in some fancy new way, because I’m busy writing and I don’t see them getting off their ass! They’re reading anyways ain’t they? Then they god damn don’t have anything better to do than let me shove words, and ideas, and mental pictures into their heads rapidly. Them complaining? Hah, you mean leaving impassioned responses because I hit a nerve. I CONTROL them. 𝕀 𝔸𝕄 𝔸𝕊 𝔸 𝔾𝕆𝔻.

...ahem. There’s other things to think about. I just, really like getting pumped about that concept because getting pumped makes it really awesome. Lemme uh... lemme try talking about ... other things... next. Instead of declaring my godhood, wow, that is so ‘famous last words’ material for a character to say.

So forgiving my earlier outburst, I’m going to natter about the subject! Writing confidence comes around slowly, really, you were right. This is normal for writers, and there’s not always a solution. A lot of posts have been made on Tumblr about decreasing anxiety as a whole. Everything from taking a long bath with some scented candles, to breathing and meditation exercises, to radical acceptance. This can all soothe you, making it easier to write, or at least post your writing somewhere. That’s a good start. A lot of it though really, is understanding what you’re doing from new angles instead of just ‘am I good enough’ and ‘in my head about it editor mode’.

Going back a half step, I love radical acceptance, let’s focus on that for a moment. Basically, it’s just saying ‘I am who I am. These things have happened. Now that they have happened, they are passed, and while they are real, I can now experience other things. I give myself permission for this. I have permission to move on to something else because I accept what has happened entirely and cannot change it. I can only change what reality is in the now, and I can only do that by moving forwards and altering my behavior or other people’s ideas with fresh words and actions. The past remains, real and behind me. I accept it and step forward.’ This would be great if you put it to writing. ‘I accept my writing may not be the best, there is always someone better, and I do not need to care. I am writing what is meaningful to me. It is what it is.'

Writing is also a performance art. Which means, writing is not complete until an audience, not necessarily the intended one, has read and reacted to it. It’s not whole. It hungers to be read and understood, and for the feedback on that writing works to complete the circuit. To explain what the writing did for someone else. Regularly we find that it was close to our intention, but sometimes wildly out of left field, they’ll point out something you may not have even noticed. This is secondary to knowing it is read. While they may never interact with you, it doesn’t matter. Your writing will evoke something in another person, one way or another, and that is the point at which it becomes complete. Kudos and comments and likes, and thumbs ups and everything are not a way to measure success. Sometimes someone never directly tells you how they feel at all. Page views are interactions, are chances for it to have been read. To know that someone has looked at it means it has been read. It’s finished.

The audience changes depending on the type of writing too. That audience may only be one person, it might even be yourself. A diary is like that, it forces us to complete the circuit by contemplating what is written and what it means about us, or towards us, on another day, at another time. It is a mirror of who we are, and we’ll judge the shit out of it because we’re fucking ruthless and don’t have any feelings to save when it comes to us. We’ll word it nicely to others, but to us. fuck you self, you’re not good enough. How demoralizing.

This is important to note here! We’re so used to being our main audience, so used to analyzing everything we do or say and how it effects others, we’re stuck in that eternal loop of ‘If no one likes it (or shows they like it) I did something wrong and I need to fix it.’ We blame ourselves for things that seem like they ‘broke’ it, but really we’re dealing with way more circumstances besides ‘did I do it good’.

Truth is, we can do everything right, and still not get a response. We can write brilliantly, and not have it get to the right audiences. We can get people who are oversensitive to certain topics going batshit about them, and disregarding the writing or intent. We can accidentally hit that one guy who tells his friend, who shares a link with a room of supporters, and suddenly we have a fanbase, and now everything we write is ‘good’ to them, and outsiders get attacked for being wrong if they don’t like it. We can get folks who just don’t say anything because they’re shy, and you’ve genuinely made them feel good but they can’t explain it.

Not everyone has the talent of putting their thoughts into writing, and that’s what comments are essentially. That’s why people read, to see someone who can do it, do it in front of them as a performance they can stare at in awe and pleasure. All those kudos on AO3 are made of this. This feeling of ‘not matching up’ or ‘not having the time or prowess to respond to something they love.’

You need to remember, you can’t please everyone. Think about the people you know, think about their favorite pairings. Do all of them have the same pairing? Does everyone you meet, without hesitation, name exactly the same couple in your favorite show? Not by a fuckin’ long shot unless somebody’s fucking with your Causality. If you loaned dice to any Gods, maybe take them back is all I’m saying. The point is, rambling aside, no one ships the same shit. No one even fucking agrees on pizza toppings. Why would they all agree your writing did something for them? Or means things exactly the way you intended it?

Language is imprecise, the job of a writer is to write things in the way that makes sense to their context of the world, and then let it loose to see if it works. If it doesn’t on a large scale, write something else and leave the first alone as an example. Don’t give up. They’re all tests, and somewhere, somehow, it’s gonna hit someone else just right. You might even hit a large section of the audience just right and make them all react like you intended. That’s the sign of a good writer who has also found serendipity has favored them. A good crowd, nicely warmed up and receptive instead of following an act that makes them hard and cold. Even if your writing is a couple hundred years old, you can still suddenly hit that audience one day.

It’s not always your writing that changes how people react to things either. People have lives. You’re a writer, you know that. Every character you write should have a backstory, a name, emotions, reasons for those emotions. These characters map onto real people. They had an ex that treated them like trash and called them Kitten. Well suddenly your cute little nickname for a character, which makes perfect sense to you, is a pun, feels right, and gives the feeling you want, suddenly hits a person wrong and is wrong. They don’t like what you wrote, not because you’re a bad writer, but because they have bad associations with things you cannot control.

Writing is a pot shot of hoping that what you want works with what someone else wants without ever meeting them. That’s why a lot of famous bullshit people love enmasse is kinda... blurry. It’s not precise because if you scattershot and allow the audience to make up half of it, everyone loves it for what they read into it. Look at popular fandoms, Homestuck took the world by force because everything was incomplete. This is a visual medium that managed to make characters that nobody knew what they actually looked like precisely. So some people drew the main characters are POC, and represented themselves, and loved them so much deeper for that. Some people drew them fat, or thin, or special. People expanded on their histories in ways that worked with the story, but voiced something in their own hearts.

Homestuck is a fantastic show of people getting a bunch of nonsense, that they’ve somehow turned into patterns that deeply changed their lives. That’s how a person reading it could come out on the other side either thinking, “Wow, I want to be a troll, they can be mean and classist, and they don’t fit in just like me. I’m gonna go be like my favorite character and hurt someone else by saying fuck a lot and spitting in a bucket.” just as much as we could get “Wow, this is a story about friendship, and different forms of love regardless of how different of socially ingrained it is to hate one another when we don’t understand. We can all work together and make things beautiful because the little things, like a can donation to food banks, can have a butterfly effect!” Like. Holy shit. Those are very different outcomes, but you saw both of them happen in the Fandom!

If you remember that writing, once set free, has such a huge life beyond the artist’s work? it can help the anxiety, because it’s not completely on you to do it right. It’s not your fault if no one reads it, well, not your writing’s fault anyways, go advertise for goodness sake. Self promote! Your writing doesn’t even have to be really fantastic technically to be adored and loved. Stephen King’s 11/22/63 has an example of this. No major spoilers, but a teacher reads a paper done by a student. That paper is written horribly. The grammar is shit, the wording is terrible, the spelling came out of a trash compactor, the punctuation is a masterclass in how not to do it. That story sticks with that teacher though, the whole book, it nags at him. It tickles him, because it made him feel a certain way. It gave him a motive, an imagination. It set something going in him. The writing was terrible from a technical point of view, but from an emotive empathy inducing view, holy shit. it worked. It was good.

So, that means, the value of your work changes depending on the metric you use to evaluate it. I’m sure technical specification manuals are all written wonderfully, with precise language and information by the bucketful. Hell that’s why they exist. But are they considered dry reads? Do classics lose that shiny new language feel, or connection to people via the words alone, because they can be a bit boxed in by the era’s acceptable standards of what made for good writing? Yep. 100%.

But what gets read, over and over again, every single generation? Things that make us feel because they have meaning. Things that strike a nerve. Monsters, and romances, and stories about the human condition. Sure fine grammar and spelling will get you more readers, which is important on a small-scale level like a roleplay, or a fanfic, but they aren’t the heart of good writing. Good writing makes you feel, relate, and love the characters. It brings a world to life. I can’t tell you how often I’ve ignored shitty skills and kept reading because they had me hooked on what was going to happen.

So instead engage with your project on different levels than ‘is it good’ because Jesus Christ, that is such a hard thing to measure. Ask yourself instead: Did it feel right? Do these words bring a clear mental image of what I want? Do the characters feel like people? Do I create a sense of ‘questions to be answered’ and do I answer them with enough regularity to keep people invested, while supplying more? Do I solve all the problems that come up, or suggest they can be solved easily? Do I feel engaged with this work, does it represent part of me? Is it easy to read, or does the pace stutter, is that what I want? Working on these instead of some non-solid idea of ‘good’ and instead ‘is it what I intended’ will give you fresh eyes, and help eliminate some anxiety because...

All writing is good for something.

All of it.

Somewhere, it will have an audience that needs it. Don’t stress about finding that audience, don’t stress about making it perfect for them. Make it perfect for you, and deign to allow others to read it. Your writing is your voice. It is you unique vision. Only you can write things in ways that play on your personal vision of the world. Seriously. We can’t even map minds at a level that allows us to pull stories out of it. Not even dreams can be recorded. You know what your dreams are. You know what you want on the paper. As long as you feel like it brings what you want to the table, you can write anything and it is good.

Think of yourself as a pioneer, forging new ideas into the world. No one gets it perfect the first time. You’ll throw an axle occasionally, or a horse will die, or a party member gets dysentery. But the point is you made the effort, and can change or recover. Writing is what it is. It exists waiting to be seen and translated into part of another person’s life. Try to pick a good idea of what you want to share, and then share it.

You’re golden. Don’t let one or two comments get to you. Don’t let your inner editor scream you down. Don’t engage with the ideas that you can’t write, or you aren’t good enough, or that this is easier for other people. Accept them as your personal doubts, not as your personal truths. Accept they are worries. Then let them go, they are worries, not truths. They exist, but they do not have to be what you base things on. Breathe. Think. Writers generally feel like shit, especially when they have been trying to write and finish a novel for 2 years and can’t even pick up a pencil to do it, god damn it self, get in gear can’t reach goals they set for themselves. If you disappoint yourself, that’s where anxiety sets in that you can’t live up to your ideals.

That’s actually good for one thing. If you can see flaws, you’re getting better at the job. Writing is practice. Editing is putting that practice to use. Like, seriously. If you had a piece of art, and you went back years later after a hundred more pieces of art, you could do a better sketch or version of it. Writing is very similar. You can figure out what went wrong, rewrite the sentences, the story, the flow, something you’ve learned doesn’t work. It’s not solid, I have to point that out. Writing can change, even if it felt perfect at the time. Not because it wasn’t right, because it was right for the you who wrote it, the mysterious past you who was in a certain mindset. It’s because the you now who read it, wants to say something different because they’ve seen the future. They’ve read ahead in the story. They’ve got spoilers, and you could set up for those spoilers a little better.

At a certain point though you have to say, ‘look, either I edit forever, like I’m going to do to myself as I grow and learn. Or I set it down now, call it history, and use it as a reference point in the future when I get even better.’ The second one is better, less stress. History isn’t something we can change, we can only change the perceptions of those around us with additional words and actions. It is what it is. You, and everyone around you, can accept that. Even if it means dealing with hard truths, or hiding something that got a less than stellar reputation. (Never fully delete anything, it’s painful, and makes you not want to do more. Just set it to private or something. Let your messed up creations hide in the dark places, because someday you might grow enough to want to visit them and love them as they are, when they remind you less of current immediate failure, and have a more sentimental feel.)

Remember too, your writing will not meet anyone, not finalize, can be changed and edited and fixed, all the way up and past you showing it to an audience. Read it in different fonts, in color changes, to catch it in new lights. Edit the shit out of it. Make it closer to your intent. Refine, and examine it until you feel like it’s good enough to share, and then share it. But until then, no one is judging you. No one sees it. No one is out to get you except that fucking little editor voice in your head trying to give you SHIT. Well fuck that voice, you can change it later. Get your ideas down now, and let them grow and evolve with your progress. Don’t worry about what it says, it could say anything. The important part is not the writing, but the experience of having written it.

A story is an idea, written down. You can’t change an idea, until there’s enough solid parts to interact with them. A vague idea you’re nurturing to growth is great, but you have to write it down before it becomes solid and real and you can trim the branches and shape it into something more. Don’t be intimidated. Nothing has to be perfect the first go around, it’s just a draft. You have a story inside you, a life, a creation. Something about you, a part of you that longs to be free and shared and alive. It doesn’t have to be perfect, long, or well-written. It just has to bloom on paper, and then expand and grow and seed and birth new stories. You can do it, you really can. It’s just planting that idea that scares people.

You matter. Your writing matters. Regardless of anything else, everything you write is real, and it matters. It’s one of the steps you take to get somewhere else. Every step is important, even if you never reference that step again.

Let yourself fall in love with your writing. Let yourself put it away, and come back to it with fresh eyes, and experience it for the first time as an audience. Fix what doesn’t work, but love what does and focus on it, because that’s what an audience will remember. What they loved.

Good luck. You’re fantastic, and I cannot put into words what kind of pride, and joy, and this... big budding feeling in my chest is. This bubbling need to tell you that every action you take towards becoming a writer makes me kinda tear up and have hope. Because... I need writers. I need them badly. Whether they’re roleplayers writing ephemeral stories back and forth across electrons that expire after they’re spoken, or writers who sit down and write novels that will last and last and last. All of you give me hope, all of your words touch me, and mean something to me. Ones I disagree with, ones I love, ones I hate, ones that impassioned me, or bring me closer to understanding myself.

Just write. I love it, whatever it is. Thank you.

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comicteaparty · 5 years

Text

April 18th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 18th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya by Reimena Yee; Edited by Atla Hrafney.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya by Reimena Yee; Edited by Atla Hrafney~! (https://reimenayee.com/the-carpet-merchant-of-konstantiniyya/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene is definitely the one where zeynel sneaks off in the middle of the night after eating the cat to go pray. i love this scene for how emotionally raw it is. like this is somewhat being stripped and presented at their most desperate and vulnerable, and every part of the scene shows that. while at the same time, it has a good balance of feeling sort of mystical and expressing zeynel's faith through the choice in visuals and how many of the panels are composed together.

another of my favorite scenes is the end of volume 2 where certain ppl kick the bucket. it too was a powerful scene in terms of emotion and vulnerability, and another moment where i truly felt like the character in question was being their truest selves without the layers that ppl build up to protect themselves. not to mention i appreciate the bittersweetness of how it played out and how kindness kind of won in the end.

mathtans

Heeeey there. So, I kinda screwed this one up. Because normally when I reach the navigation page, I hit "FIRST". Aaaand... yeah, that wasn't the Carpet story. There's apparently a whole lot of other stories that come first. I was very confused, and this was a busy week. I figured it out half an hour ago and am reading now.

RebelVampire

oh dear. thats a lot worse than i was assuming too cause i knew the other comic was interspersed between the first and second volume. but now im glad i was vague in that last answer XD

mathtans

I was surprised it had been running since 2013 and then I noticed the artist had said they started it in 2016 in their kickstarter and derp. So I'll just kinda thumbs up stuff as I spot it.

reimena

If it makes it easier; here are the ebook versions of Volume I and II

Vol I: https://reimenayee.itch.io/the-carpet-merchant-voli Vol II: https://reimenayee.itch.io/the-carpet-merchant-volii

mathtans

Oh, hello author. Thanks.

(And now I must go tend to the wee one.)

RebelVampire

let's see then in the meantime. i loved the first scene where we see zeynel plying his trade and selling a carpet. like the scene immediately paints a picture for the visuals and draws you in with them. and the visuals are consistently beautiful throughout the comic.

but by contrast, i also appreciate the scene later on in the second volume where Mora wtfs Zeynel just taking the insults and Zeynel explains how its part of the job etc. etc. It was interesting to see this other take on his job and that not everything about selling carpets is all that fun and even if youre a cool vampire, sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and accept customers being dumbasses.

mathtans

Back-ish. Oh yes, the visuals are amazing. Not just the carpet patterns either. Even the sheep were different.

Lots of neat cultural stuff too.

RebelVampire

what i appreciate i think is the character of the backgrounds. cause a lot of them have what im going to describe as this splash effect. and while it may not always have anything to do with whats in the main panels and is mostly there to not be white space, i feel they always add great atmosphere to each individual page.

yeah i really adored the culture stuff. this is definitely not a heavily featured culture in comics so it was super interesting to get to see it.

though i also appreciate later zeynel's ability to just kind of meld into different cultures. cause it really gives the opportunity to compare, contrast, and appreciate

one thing i also want to say in regards to culture is that i also appreciate that the comic balances having unique culture features while still telling a story that is really universal to anybody. so you dont need to have some deep specific connection to the culture in order to appreciate the story in its fullest

QUESTION 2. One of the comic’s central themes is related to stories and story-telling. Overall, what do you personally think the comic is saying about the importance of stories in our lives? Of the fables that were juxtaposed to the main narrative, which one captured your imagination the most? How did you feel it related to what we were seeing in the story? In what ways did you see stories affect the lives of the characters within the story? Additionally, what did you make of Zeynel’s explanation about each carpet having a story within it? How do you think this applies to the works we see in our own lives? In total, how has the comic changed the way you see stories and how they shape our lives?

mathtans

Okay, little one's settled back in the crib, more fully back now.

Yeah, the story seems universal (from what I've gathered so far, with the two families). So it's more a bonus, the phrases and references and things.

RebelVampire

ill tackle the second question first. my favorite fable juxtaposed to the main narrative was Karagoz and Hacivat. there were a lot of reasons this juxtaposition really worked for me. first off, its premise of being a show that zeynel was watching i think somewhat helped build a feeling of nostalgia. like because the show was in the past, it helps illustrate how far away zeynel is from that. however, i think it further helps set up the idea of culture clashing. and predictively shows that both sides kind of have a negative and specific view of the opposing culture. so when these come up in the story, they help paint a particular perspective regarding them. and kind of force us as the readers to recognize that both sides have their biases as zeynel adjusts to life in different places.

mathtans

I know the feeling of being a better listener than talking about oneself. (Just as I'm reading, not sure if that necessarily relates to the stories idea.)

RebelVampire

in terms of the importance of stories, i feel like the comic was overall trying to say that stories help us connect to the world around us. and i kind of think this is represented with young zeynel. cause he sucks at talking about himself, but tells and listens to stories to connect with others. and this is how he bonds with people, learns about the world, and somehow down the line eventually learns about himself.

reimena

I do have thoughts of the intention behind the Karagoz and Hacivat scene, but I'll wait until everyone's done typing! (unless you want it now)

RebelVampire

you may go ahead since math definitely wouldnt be close to that one. participate as you would like

mathtans

I agree with what Rebel said, both about the bonding and learning through stories, and about the do your thing and don't wait for me, I'm a slow reader in general.

reimena

Haha I'm just lurking (doing other things while keeping this discord open). Only dropping in when necessary. (I appreciate all of the discussion though! <3)

mathtans

There's some really good non-dialogue panelling as Zeynel is opening himself up to the merchant life.

reimena

With the Karagoz and Hacivat story, it was meant to act as first, a parallel to Zeynel and Mora (with Zeynel being Hacivat, and Mora being Karagoz). Second, a subversion of the Other. Since Vol II is a jab at Orientalism, I thought it would be fun to have characters who are normally seen as "Other" to call out the Western world as their "Other".

Muslims both in the past and the present have always been constructed as monstrous or barbaric in Europe. Very rarely in a visual medium's critique of Orientalism do I see the opposite. Especially in the context of the era the comic is set in.

RebelVampire

i definitely appreciate the subversion of the "Other" then if it was intentional

reimena

Which explains the European wooden puppets at the end. The costumes, the white facepaint and blush, and the 3D construction of the design. Those are European. And they look rather jarring and out of place in a book that's mostly visually Ottoman.

mathtans

I was a little worried about how Zeynel's parents would react to his independence. It felt spot-on in the end, in particular the embrace and such, I'm glad he managed it. (Then fainting, hah.)

RebelVampire

this is true, their design really is odd compared to the rest and it did make me wtf for a moment admittedly. but i also definitely thought it made sense in the context

zeynel's parents reaction surprised the heck out of me, but probably in the good way

usually when you have overbearing parents, you expect them to be stubborn and not able to be persuaded. and yet here they were not and i thought that was a nice variety.

mathtans

Yeah, I was wondering about that, but the conditional acceptance worked for me.

Oh, well, the next sequence is a kick to the heart for me.

reimena

That's because they really love Zeynel. It's more overprotectiveness than being stubborn

mathtans

Speaking as someone with infertility issues in the family, ouch. Captured well though.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Though much of the comic is about stories, there is also a lot of focus given to defining ourselves and achieving our dreams. Between Zeynel and Ayşe, which character’s struggle with their future path did you identify with most? What about it made it compelling? What do you think the comic shows and says about the way we define ourselves and pursue our dreams as it relates to others? Further, the narrative somewhat creates an identity crisis for Zeynel when he becomes a djinni/vampire. What part of his transformation did you find most compelling in his reaction towards it? What do you think we can learn from the comic in regards to moments like this where who we are changes? Is there anything else you’d like to mention in regards to identity and the comic?

i think i identified most with zeynel in regards to the future path struggle. cause ive been there with zeynel where you dont know what to do. and then you encounter ppl like Ayşe who just are 100% of what they want to do. and it can be an intimidating experience that makes you feel more lost sometimes, which i do think at first kind of happened. mostly cause zeynel really opened up and laid everything bare after some pressuring and i think its because Ayşe caused those emotions to reverberate more strongly than ever.

mathtans

Yeah, I've never really been clear on where I'm going, but I'm highly organized in the moment. Then there's those times when I know where I'm going (start a family) and reality just kicks you from behind and says you need to adapt those plans.

RebelVampire

yeah. but ultimately what i found about zeynel's struggle was how we were shown how he overcame it. in that he found something interesting that he was good at and decided to give it a try against all he was taught. but that it was something he did with those around him supporting him. and i think in a large way this is part of what the comic shows about defining ourselves. that in essence we are defined somewhat by the people around us, such as how zeynel's parents picked his career or how Ayşe herself was defined by her family's occupation. but at the same time changing how we see ourselves is made a lot easier when those around us who originally helped define us support explorations into other areas.

mathtans

Yeah, Zeynel also got a lot better at talking about himself. (I'm at the part where he heads off, runs into a guy and is suddenly telling him all about himself and carpets.)

RebelVampire

its easier to talk about yourself when youre proud of what you do

i really enjoyed how zeynel's vampire situation kind of goes through a lot of the stages of grief. though not all with zeynel either. cause i think denial hit Ayşe a lot, lot harder. but i think it played out really well because of that since his reaction felt extremely realistic.

and i love how hard they tried to make it work before hitting that acceptance stage

but all together i think the comic shows us that sometimes we do change, its sad, but we have to accept it cause no matter how hard we may try to make something work, the reality is it doesnt always

mathtans

I'm at the transformation part. That's rough. Some stuff you can just write off, but then reality hits you once again... and yeah, I agree Rebel, reality can be at odds with what we want or believe.

Interesting how the tavern guy, while being a jerk, still had an element of sympathy to him, what with his history.

RebelVampire

i felt bad for tavern guy. cause he was definitely a jerk, but at the same time all i can think of is how this poor guy will be found and no one will know who the murderer was. and maybe therell be a vague description of some out of town dude showing up. but then nothing cause this isnt modern day and its not like they have forensics or security survellaince footage.

mathtans

Yeah. Though I guess he did kinda want death, just earlier when he was with the sultan... his reality didn't work out either.

RebelVampire

it certainly did not.

i like to think tavern dude was the showcase of what happens when you choose to define yourself with anger and revenge

mathtans

Perhaps he wanted to beat someone up and figured an out-of-towner was better than someone who might have relatives nearby.

The night imagery when he goes back home is very effective

RebelVampire

that is probably true cause that scene made me marvel about how if you killed for self defense, the best course of action probably is to just run the heck away. cause like, who are you going to tell? and what is the liklihood those you tell are going to believe you that it was self defense? cause if i was like some town guard and some out-of-towner said to me "nah dude it was totally self defense" i might be like "idk man that sounds suspicious"

QUESTION 4. Much of the second volume focuses on the character of Mora and Zeynel’s affect on him. Overall, what is your opinion on Mora? Do you feel Zeynel handled the situation correctly, or would you have done it differently? Why do you think Zeynel had the affect he did on Mora? Do you feel Mora’s regrets at the end redeemed him, or do you feel that he had done too much damage by this point? Do you think Zeynel was sincere in saying that he would try and start forgiving Mora at the end? In essence, what do you think Zeynel and Mora’s story together says about good and bad people? Additionally, what is your take away in regards to the themes of redemption and forgiveness? What in the comic made you feel this way?

i love mora because he is a conflicted, murderous teddy bear who got dealt the worst hand in life.

and i think zeynel handled the situation 100% correctly. because i think that played into a large reason why he has an affect on mora. cause i think its relevant to even the scene where we first see mora. in that mora is flat out just not used to kindness. and that she be shown kindness reminds mora that not everyone are the people who were awful to him in his past.

mathtans

I don't think I'll get that far. Ayse is taking this better than I thought she would.

RebelVampire

honestly i didnt know what to expect for how Ayşe would take it. i was legit as nervous as zeynel about it. cause this is an unbelievable situation where you have to ask a person to 1) believe youre now a supernatural creature and 2) be okay with the fact that you sorta murdered someone, even if out of self defense

but i enjoyed i didnt know what to expect

cause it helped put me in zeynel's shoes

mathtans

Yeah, I kinda thought she'd let him go and try to find a cure or something. But in the story she told, I guess she still needs him as a constant in her life.

It's kind of regressed Zeynel back to the point where he's not sure who he is any more, or what he wants. Before it was his family affecting him, now it's this inner demon.

RebelVampire

since you wont be to that volume i wont dwell on it, but i do want to finish the last set of questions off by saying i do feel mora earned his redemption in a sense. not in the lets all forgiveness sort of way, but in the sense he finally took a satisfying step in the right direction since he acknowledged everything he had done to that point was wrong. but with mora and zeynel, i think the story is saying bad and good people are still people. and that bad people are often bad for reasons and that while we dont have to forgive them, theres a degree to which we should still show them some human decency. and that if said bad person is trying to redeem themselves, its good to encourage it even if to us personally they cant be redeemed.

mathtans

Definitely address your questions, they seem like good ones.

RebelVampire

i think thats a good way to look at the transformation. that hes regressed. cause its definitely an identity crisis

like even without the vampire thing i doubt zeynel would have labeled himself as someone capable of murder

so that in itself is a holy crap moment

mathtans

He never knew what he was capable of until it was thrust onto him.

Something I've noticed narratively is the use of flashback. We started with the little blurb on the boat... then to the carpet selling... then back again 25 years. (There was something similar in the very first story too, the one I started reading accidentally.)

RebelVampire

yeah and tbh i think thats kind of within the comic as well regarding identity. that as much as we can come to define ourselves, we may still be missing portions of that definition if we never test ourselves in certain ways and find out what were actually capable of in certain situation.

mathtans

I always hesitate a bit with that style, like I wonder if it's really necessary, but I thought it worked well in terms of how the 25 years got kind of "fast forwarded" through the relationship to bring us to the present rather than jumping back. That was good.

(No idea if that narrative idea happens again.)

That's a good way of putting it, Rebel. Not only missing portions from testing but if other people are needed to bring those things into focus for us.

RebelVampire

yeah the use of flashback is interesting. though i think i most appreciate the first flashback transition from the boat to zeynel's successful merchant life. cause i think the boat really set up some great expectations. so when you see zeynel all happy selling a carpet youre like "hey werent you just eating a rat on a boat how did that come about."

mathtans

I'm not sure I made the link that fast, I just thought they were related or something.

RebelVampire

well even related i still think it sets up ominous tone for future events. so eh.

mathtans

I'm reminded of a conversation earlier today with colleagues, of when someone gets old and feels like maybe it's just their time and isn't necessarily proactive about health and stuff. But others may need that person to still be around. So they make an effort for that reason.

This two-panel style between Zeynel and Ayse is pretty effective.

RebelVampire

i think thats true to whats happening in the story for sure. cause as confident as Ayşe is, i dont think she wouldve accomplished her goals without zeynel. and tbf we dont really see them have that many friends who arent family and working for them. so they probably a close knit group

one thing i want to say at that end is that this comic really made me want to learn how to make carpets so i too can have beautiful carpets on my floor

mathtans

It's like, there's so much emotion here, it needs space to breathe.

I think there was a tutorial panel somewhere in there.

(For making carpets.)

RebelVampire

there was and id be lying if i said i didnt legitimately studied it for a bit

but then i gave up

and felt Ayşe's pain

mathtans

Made it to #300. Rough stuff. Very emotional.

You'll just have to weave your stories in the meantime, Rebel.

RebelVampire

this chat was missing a pun

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Reimena Yee and Atla Hrafney, as well, for making The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Reimena Yee’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://reimenayee.com/the-carpet-merchant-of-konstantiniyya/

Pledge for a Hard Copy: https://unbound.com/books/the-carpet-merchant-voli/

Reimena’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/reimenayee

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #the carpet merchant of konstantiniyya #reimena yee #atla hrafney

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mild-lunacy · 7 years

Text

My fannish feelings (let me show you them)

Man, fandom really alienates me in 28846851 ways, as I often say. And it's funny 'cause I really admire it. I admire the transformative nature of fandom... from afar. But comparing Johnlock to transformative ships like Harry/Draco or Sherlock/anyone else (hah!) or saying we're 'free to engage however we wish' misses the point. Personally, I know I'm free, but then I always felt free. Canon always feels like home, not a prison, no matter what happens. I just don't want to 'break free', unlike Moriarty. Like, I understand that people write these things because others or they themselves are really upset and/or looking for something to cling to or believe in in a cold, hard universe or what have you. You gotta find your comfort where you can. But that's why I said fandom frequently alienates me-- conspiracies, fake-out episode theories and even fanfiction in general has never been even close to 'enough'. It just... doesn't help. It doesn't work at all, haha. I understand why people react the way they do, but sometimes I think I have an innately different idea of what fanfiction is for.

It's true that Series 4 didn't fulfill all my hopes and wishes, and obviously I was wrong about the direction of the Authorial Intent, and I still think that's a crying shame even though I understand the limitations of thinking about that in the context of textual interpretation. But like I said in that meta yesterday, issues of intent have to do with the social aspects of fandom, not fanfiction (obviously). But of course, turning to fanworks to fix or somehow escape canon (whether it's speculative meta or fanfic) is part of the fundamental nature of fandom. I just... don't do that. At all. And I've never particularly enjoyed fanworks that willfully refused to follow canon in any obvious way instead of integrating (because that tends to read as OOC to me). Just for example, I may not be crazy excited about something like Sherlock/Mycroft, which is clearly acanonical, but normally it genuinely doesn't bother me. But if I see a ship like that combined with Johnlock so that it replaces it, where Sherlock chooses Mycroft over John, then I get pissed. And it's not because I'm a shipper (or not just) but because it's so blatantly not only OOC but transformative in a way that's anti-canon. Like, you really cannot sell that after the scene in TFP where Sherlock seriously considered shooting Mycroft, and in fact, it's clear that this writer didn't want to consider it. They were disregarding canon reality and substituting their own, and that sort of thing drives me batty with fic. You can always tell when the fic is going out of its way to misread the characters and/or rebelling against canon, and it never once worked for me in all my years of reading oodles of fanfic. I was never even tempted by 'Epilogue What Epilogue' fics in HP (needless to say, breaking up Harry's marriage held even less appeal). So yeah, I definitely can't look forward to years of doing that post-S4, haha. Not that... I think I'd have to, 'cause the door to Johnlock is wide open after TFP (and unfortunately, so is the door to other ships.... And hell yeah, that's pretty unfortunate, seeing as the very existence of straight!Sherlock seems like an abomination to me, honestly).

My reasoning for why explicitly canon Johnlock was definitely important and necessary goes like this: 1) it's the natural conclusion to Sherlock's arc and the emotional resolution to unresolved developments in Series 3, beginning in TRF; 2) representation and avoiding queerbaiting. But there's definitely also 3) cutting off straight-washing of Sherlock and John in the fandom and vindicating/establishing our understanding of his characterization as canon. I don't apologize for that. I still firmly stand for that. Straight or bisexual Sherlock is not something I calmly accept in the context of his BBC incarnation, not least because it's ridiculous and OOC, and you have to do some serious mental gymnastics to justify it canonically. But I also honestly simply find it harmful in the context of fandom as well as being queerbaiting in canon.

Obviously, I mean, fandom has but a fraction of the social power and cultural resonance that the hugely popular media property of BBC Sherlock does. But heteronormativity is always problematic and it's not more present in the media than in fandom in the sense that it's present everywhere equally, by its very nature. Obviously, we fight against it more here, so there's clearly less of it here in one sense, but heteronormativity always remains something to push back against with the intent to eradicate. And in the context of the canon characterization of BBC Sherlock, even reading Sherlock as bisexual (as in, displaying actual or potential attraction to women) is quite blatantly, extremely heteronormative, and so it's pretty distasteful to me. I do think it's that obvious that he's gay, yes. And so... a future of endless fanworks at this point is definitely a very mixed blessing.

No. Nope. Uh-uh. I didn't think that, and I didn't ignore or avoid willfully. I side-stepped and tried to build on canon while trying to integrate every bit of characterization possible. And further, I only started new Harry/Draco fanfic before Harry got together with Ginny permanently. He was together with Ginny at first in some of my fics, but I made up the characterization so it would fit; when I saw that he genuinely wanted her, I just wanted him to be happy (and I guess when I did take him away from her, it wasn't a happy story). Even before, I never wrote him as gay or tried to ignore his interest in Ginny (I just kind of wrote speculative Ginny characterization sometimes that took her down alternative paths... but I didn't think it was OOC at the time). The fact that people ignored or avoided canon and embraced OOCness to write an admittedly transformative slash ship used to drive me insane with constant, neverending frustration back when I was in HP fandom. It's also something that bothers me about the way people write Kavinsky in The Raven Cycle, too. People mess with characterization and the entirety of apparent canonical intent to write the stuff canon left unexplored on purpose, which is understandable... but not necessary.

I used to write lots of meta back in the day about how, you know, you can build on canon and do anything-- certainly, you can write redemption arcs and stuff-- if you're careful about starting where the characters really are. It's not like I was ever obsessed with JKR's intent regarding Draco Malfoy, but then neither did I ignore it, see. She said stuff to the effect of him being a 'little cockroach', as Hermione might say, and she warned about young women denying or ignoring that, but I didn't deny or ignore it! I thought that was important. He was a little prick in my fics, and I tried to work with that. I did my absolute best not to romanticize him and I constantly wrote metas imploring others not to, more or less; I wanted to let him grow up and develop, not deny he needs the development. This was not because JKR told me not to, of course. At the same time, I genuinely believe that if you read the text closely enough, you'll come pretty close to the perspective of the author anyway, given it's a good author and given you're not the sort of reader that has an agenda. And as for myself... I don't have an agenda, man.

I guess that could be hard to believe, if you thought of me only as a TJLCer (not that I'm aware of anyone doing that). I mean, people have certainly had a tendency of accusing us of projecting onto the text, though the aphorism about stones and glass houses definitely applies. But anyway, obviously I've never seen canon Johnlock as wish-fulfillment, and I get pretty incensed when I think people misunderstood that, not that it wasn't a wish to be fulfilled. Not only did I wish, I still fully and firmly believe it should have happened explicitly, even if I'm starting to understand where the misconceptions we had about Mofftiss were. Anyway, it's not that I don't see myself in the story or identify with characters. I just... don't really project. That's the source of my alienation, I think. I don't see a show or read a book I like, that's remotely internally consistent, and think, 'I know these characters better and I and/or fandom could have done better', the way so many people in fandom have done after Series 4 of Sherlock or the last book in The Raven Cycle. I mean, I get disappointed, but it's really been weird seeing people's issues with The Raven King. It's more understandable with Series 4 'cause they did drop an apparent arc, in the sense that they didn't actually fulfill it except by implication. That's not really what happened in TRK; all the arcs were completed, but many people complained about the stuff that was left out or not focused on that they wished would have been. That's really weird and unnatural to me, possibly 'cause I just really believe in the importance of reigning in self-indulgence.

Basically, the whole problem with TFP was essentially self-indulgence! Calling for more of it, or even critiquing Series 4 for essentially not having more of the right kind (and even accusing TJLCers of only wanting that and nothing else!) is hard for me to relate to. Alas, as usual.

#pointless rambles #me myself and i #sherlock feels #johnlock feels #oh fandom #fandom meta #hp feels #queerlock #tjlc

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