i’m not sure if someone already asked you this, but now that you posted flawless, you’ll finish atws? or you’ll start posting the editor au? so sorry if you answered this question before

yea i wanna focus on atws next because its been sitting there for too long. editor au is still in progress, much longer to go than flawless, and i might not even write it privately until i have the next chapter of atws done

but fuuuuck man, just to vent for a minute

i’m trying so hard and nothing is killing my motivation more than this fic. i can only ever write like 50 words at a time, and it’s pulling teeth for every letter. flow doesn’t exist. even after editing down this scene, or trying to skip past it and write the funner bits that come later. i think my inspiration is just dead for this world and it’s gonna take a playlist or multiple rereads or some other kind of external trigger to get me in the mood for it again.

i’m upset that i’m struggling with this world, but it’s also frustrating that of course it’s the one that’s everyone else’s favourite 🫠

i don’t think it’s demand avoidance because i’ve had so many days where i think about it and get myself amped up like yEAHH gonna write streamers today!! and then i open my doc, fully medicated and all, and everything dies on my fingers.

Today's my birthday!!!! ✨✨

Some vent below

The past few months have been a complet mess for me. First on march, my great aunt who has been diagnosed with cancer for two years sadly passed away, this was no surprise for any of us so I was not as sad about it if I'm honest. A week before this my dad had an accident and broke his talon and had to have surgery, this was the same day my aunt passed. My dad is fine and has healed all good. Now recently, a month ago I think, my cousin, who's I have grown with, same age as me, went to same school and everything, was diagnosed with a tumor on her brain. Was about 8 cm long and was causing her really strong headaches, it needed to be extracted as soon as possible, but the operation was very expensive so our family need to collect money first. We finally met a doctor willing to do the surgery and she was operated the Thursday, I saw her yesterday and she's thankfully doing fine. While we were on this, I felt incredible sick one day while I was on college, to the point I couldn't talk anymore. I went to the neurologist and he told me to get some exams, he diagnosed with athipics migraines and since that day I've been feeling sick and sad, that was on the fifteen. I was really hoping to feel good on my birthday, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm writing this on the 27 so I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow on my birthday. Regardless I would still like to thank everyone who welcome me on this place, I really have enjoyed it. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to post anything in a while but with the family, health, college and commission matters it has been really hard.

I hope everyone is having a good day :)

How I almost went on stage with Gene Simmons (and also a heavy vent)

Today was the first day of Summer Breeze here in Brasil and Gene’s on the headline. I traveled 8 hours just to see him and Sebastian Bach play. I was so excited to see them and my mind was set on giving Gene a poster and a letter. I really wanted to give him a piece of my work and say how much KISS changed my life.

There was going to be a signing session at 3pm and when arrived there at 11am there was already a line. No problem for me, honestly, I could wait. But then somebody from the staff told us that the time changed for 7pm. I didn’t want the whole day of festival + Sebastian’s show, so I gave up on that.

Sebastian Bach’s show was amazing (I even got an autograph!). It was kinda short but I still had a lot of fun. Next would be Mr. Big (that I didn’t bother to watch) and then, finally, Gene’s band.

God, I was right in front of him. LITERALLY. This was my view the whole show:

I was SO close from the stage, already at the barrier (is that the right name in english?) It was actually funny, because the first thing he did when he finished the first song was to point at me and say with eyes wide opened: sua bunda é linda! That’s a silly thing he says every time he’s in Brasil. (There’s a video of him saying it on a tv show just for reference). I also had some silly interactions with him, like me motion grabbing his tits and him looking shocked. Honestly, if the show ended like that it would be just fine. I’ve never been this close to someone who’s so important to me, much less recognizing my presence and being silly with me. Hell, I didn’t even care about my letter anymore. It was a kick ass show.

But in the last song (that was obviously Rock n Roll All Night), he started calling a lot of girls on stage. There were some in front of me, between the tiny gap separating the stage from the fans. I guess they were sponsors, photographers or idk, more than VIP. But then he pointed at me and called me!!! What ??!????? It sounds just like a fanfic, unbelievable. And I swear on all my family that I ain’t lying. I crossed that barrier with the help of other people and ran backstage.

To have Gene pointing at YOU and calling YOU to be on stage with him is once in a lifetime. To be ON STAGE, my literal dream and goal in life. What I’ve been working for the past couple of years. To have the chance to give my letter to him and even sing by his side. With Gene fucking Simmons from KISS, my favorite band.

But when I got backstage, they told me that I couldn’t go. “There’s too many girls there.” I was the last one he picked and the only one who didn’t make it. I begged that guy, not from Gene’s production but from the event. I even cried. The securities around me were sorry but if I didn’t leave, their jobs would be on the line. I couldn’t even see the man leave the stage. I couldn’t even see the show end.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from now on. There’s nothing to say, no consolation prize, nothing. “But there will be other shows, other opportunities”, that’s the kind of bullshit that I had to hear. No, there won’t be another Gene Simmons in Brasil calling me to be on stage. My life could have been changed forever.

I was never lucky, never won any raffles or had accomplished great achievements in life. In my letter, the first thing I wrote (as cheesy as it is) “If you’re reading this, everything is possible”. I also wrote how KISS literally changed my life when I went on their last tour here in Brasil, how they took me out of a really bad place and made me run after my dreams. It seems silly, part of me feels like an idiot to be that sad. But I just can’t get over this, can’t have any consolation on that. To be always “almost there” but never actually “there”.

Also, this is the poster I wanted to give him:

The quality is crap and I definitely could do better if I had more time. But I gave my all making it.

Sorry for the long post and the crappy sob story. This just happened like 2 hours ago and everything is still fresh. I decided to write this post because I wanted to share my frustration with people who understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Fun fact his pants were tearing up but nobody told him)

Day six

United two friends who never spoke to each other (or did they??) in one day

Fun, talking, lots of walking

A bit more tired bc I barely slept at night and when I fell asleep finally it was like, after 6am and I had to wake up at 10am. And first 2 hours of this short sleep were some crazy nightmare. Welp, surprised I felt quite fine through the day.

In the evening I made it to my parents house (dacha) that's out of city. Everything is fine so far, no negativity or anything at all (thanks god hope it stays this way I want peace)

Red cat who decided our home is also it's home (and befriended parents' cat) stood here at night. It makes funny pigeon noises.

Dad also said their cat disappeared for a few weeks ago... let's say it's not that breed that just walks on it's own, it kinda has an understanding of some family relationship. So, probably something sad happened... Red cat is looking sad too, they said. They liked to play together.

meant to post these sketches a few days ago? a week? but, well, life.

my opinion about the watcher news basically boils down to this:

watcher is screwing over a huge portion of its fanbase with this move considering how many people within it are teenagers who may not have access to streaming services, low-income adults who can't afford yet another streaming service (if any), and international fans who couldn't sign up for a US based streaming service even if they wanted to. it's okay to be angry about this, especially if you're one of those people who now can't support shows you loved or will be unable to see any of those shows going forward because of it.

and

youtube's payout to creators has dwindled in recent years to the point that it is impossible to fund the kind of productions watcher makes purely through it, and in order to sustain a company of 40+ people they need a more stable source of income not reliant on ads from outside companies and patreon, which, in this case, means a pivot to streaming. it's okay to be upset that creators you like have to turn to such methods to continue funding their work, whether you have the means to support them through these avenues or not.

and

if the early reactions to this move are any indication, watcher will probably not get the fan buy-in they anticipated and in all likelihood the new streaming site will either fail within a year or two because it isn't making enough money and take the company with it or they'll be bought out by a larger company and have their shows archived or deleted for tax purposes like what's happened to roosterteeth. it is okay to be scared by that potential future and seek to preserve as much content as you can before that happens.

are all statements that can and should coexist

Uhhhhg WIP? Sketch? Who knows.

((I am, in fact, going to take a quick moment to say: you are actively skewing the votes for no reason if you're treating "Could not, would die" as a default response for "I don't know this character". Like, as this blog goes on, it's almost inevitable that the characters are going to get more and more obscure, and you just can't know EVERY character. That's not how anything works. I don't know 80% of the characters on the blog RIGHT NOW because I don't intake most media, but I sure as hell do at least ten minutes of skimming a wiki page. If you don't have the time for that, then just vote based off of vibes. But, and I will repeat this, I am NOT going to make a "Show answers" option because I think that's a waste of time, so stop using "would beef it entirely" as the option for that and be just even the slightest bit cerebral.

In other words, I can only say someone with literal anti-death magic or whatever but has no fandom on this website is going to die miserably so many times before I just think it isn't fun anymore.))

im gonna post only these two next week but im gonna be back to my alien bullshit after that

just letting u know also cut my hair + diyed them im informing everyone i know bout that :) i love my new hair (its brown and blonde, same as my pfp)

No i dont think its a good thing to make hating children your entire personality but can i please just say that i dont like them and dont want to deal with screaming temper tantrums and meltdowns from other peoples kids (especially, ESPECIALLY when the parents are absolutely useless in dealing with them) without 30,000 people crawling out of the woodwork to assume that i think all kids should die

what type of op sibling issues do you have?

the: "depressed older sibling who still manages to look after the younger one despite thinking of themselves as unlovable and is thankful for their sibling's love because they were each other's only support for a long time / younger sibling that feels guilty for all the burden the other had to carry and blames themselves for everything and ended up being too mature at a young age" ace and luffy type?

or the: "caring but emotionless distant older sibling under an abusive household that did what they could do to protect the younger one but it was never enough out of fear of being targeted too / younger sibling that holds grudges against family and understands that the other tried their best but it was never enough and chose to only save them whenever it was safe for them and wants to run away from the family line" reiju and sanji type?

I just really wanted to draw dirty, unkempt Sal while simultaneously trying to make me laugh because of this post I saw.

whhhhyyyyyyyyy is everything sooooo motherfucking expensive????? don’t they know I can’t afford all this shit???

my brain is like “we can’t possibly go to sleep we haven’t made nearly enough progress on this comic yet” and I’m like. hey bestie I’m just saying? we already posted a new comic today. and yesterday. and two days before that. and two days before that. and the day before that, too, so like. i think we’re ok actually.

me signing on after 48 hrs of radio silence  :  does anyone.......  remember me  ?!  hEWWO....... ?!?1  🤧

i dont really know how to explain this, but it's incredibly frustrating to be a he/she pronoun user. every single time i go to a pride event, convention, even my queer-focused doctor, no one ever has she/he pronoun pins/buttons/stickers/etc. it's a little disheartening in a way i can't fully explain - when i went to that doctor, they had separate stickers for she/they and they/she, but none for he/she. the doctor had to clarify that i used both he/him and she/her, as if i'd written it wrong. like. are they too "opposite" to think about including? are they too "different" that no one would use them that way?

it just... i don't know, man. sucks.