threw some things together for dinner and fuck is it SO good

I feel like i need more emphasis on Miguel's level of nasty because he is just messy. point blank period. imagine he's got you on all fours, your face is stuffed into the sheets of your shared bed, he has your arse in the air all the while his face is stuffed right in your pussy. he's sucking and slurping on your cunt from the back because he knows you like it. maybe too much. one hand is laying comfortably on your bum cheek while the other holds your hands in place on the small of your back to diminish any attempts you have to run away. not that you would anyways. his face moves up and down your slick slit, his tongue prodding at your tight hole. he groans in satisfaction as you push your hips into his face and cry out a silly version of his name. his hand squeezes your cheek in affirmation "that's it, bonita," he praises. his words go straight to your sticky cunny as he slurps loud enough for the neighbours and their mothers to hear. he lifted his head momentarily just to spit on your puckered hole: watching as the fat glob slides down the globe of your arse, not before catching it with a finger and sliding it in. he feels you tight hole squeeze as he stares in awe. he lowers his head back onto your throbbing clit and starts suckling on it, drinking up your sweet juices in tandem. he shakes his head from side to side receiving a high pitched sob from you in return. he brings down his heavy hand to slap your soft bum, hard. he rubs the sore spot as his finger continues to work on your ass. he's moaning and groaning, whining and whimpering into your cunt that he loves too much. "Miguel...you have to stop, i need a break PLEASE!" you plead no avail. infact, he pushes another finger into your tight hole. you silently plead he's not hoping to stuff his hefty cock into your puckered hole. it's already too overwhelming for you. he's still playing with your hot pussy while still at it with your rim. he removes his fingers from your asshole and watches it clench and unclench uncontrollably as your orgasm hits like a truck. he lewdly spreads your cheeks apart, mouth agape, watching your tight holes squeeze around empty air, waiting so patiently to be filled by his pretty, long, thick, heavy, pleasurable, delicious, tasty, mouth watering, eye rolling, name yelling, soul snatching, creaming and screaming, sobbing and rolling around the floor, toe curling, earth shattering, squirting fountains, mood lifting, dopamine giving, life changing, powerful thrust, pretty, dark brown tipped - remember nips match tips - veiny all over, a proper 8-9 inches, he's definitely a grower, he grows while he's inside of you so its the most delicious stretch everr, undeniably good, leg shaking, heart wrenching, name forgetting, drooling, mind dumbing, mind breaking, back arching COCK.

i'll glad be on my knees for THIS man. 🥴like im not even joking brooo ill do jumping jacks on the d just for him he can dump ALL the cum he wants in ME, i'll gladly be the mother of his children. i swear, ill be the perfect little wife for him. he wakes up in the morning to freshly made breakfast and coffee. his clothes are washed, dried and ironed to perfection. his shoes are clean and polished, his shower is already running at the perfect temp. he comes home from work? i'll great him with a fat kiss and a home cooked meal. the recliner is out the tv is on his favourite show, when he's getting ready for bed, its ready made, his clothes for tommorrow are out and im waiting for him in bed. i need him so bad he doesn't understand i'm so upset why isn't he real. like...who am i ever going to find thats gonna compare? will i ever find someone that compares, omg imagine if i don't...☠️☠️☠️☠️ see lemme not God forbid🙏🏾

🫨 (ignore that i just wanted to use the emoji ibr)

I'm so jealous of Daniil. Having only played the Haruspex route so far in both game, each time I'm invited to the Bachelor's place I turn green with envy at how he resides at an actual proper house with a real room and a real bed.

A real bed with a whole bedframe. A pillow with an actual pillowcase!! His bed even has sheets!

He has WINDOWS. His house is in a nice neighbourhood, and his roommate is a very attractive woman. There is actual furniture in his room. Not one hint of fungus growing on the walls or rust!

Can you imagine living there as your lair? Spending the whole game knowing you have a real house with a real bed to go back to at the end of each night? Seeing Eva's face every day before leaving to do quests?

Meanwhile, Artemy is stuck in this dumpster room of an abandoned factory. Cuddling with rats on his makeshift bed, held by nothing but a wooden panel, some boxes and a dream.

A pillow so yellow it has its own ecosystem where bugs established real estate. Is that even a pillow or is it some random rock Artemy found and chucked in there? Is it a stale loaf of bread?? Why is it hard looking?

But no, you don't even get to keep the rock roach pillow because in P2, they take it away.

Fuck you Artemy, you had it good for too long. No pillow now because what are you gonna do about it?. Fold your mattress instead to have a resemblance of a faux sense of protection under your most vital organ during the long hours of death rehearsal that you call sleep.

Somehow, they made the bed even more unstable looking. As if that thin panel in the middle could hold Artemy's weight without caving in. Oh, and apparently, I ran out of boxes to use for furniture because the bed and the table have to share custody of the same box.

We have downgraded into barrels now, as you can see :) No, I don't know what they used to contain inside.

Waking up every day to Sticky's snotty face telling me not to spit in the wind and nagging me about cleaning up the week-old human organs thrown around that are stinking up the place.

THERE IS MOLD GROWING ON MY WALLS. RUST FLAKES FALL FROM THE EXPOSED METAL PIPES DOWN INTO MY CEREAL EACH BREAKFAST.

This single wall holds so much mold and fungus that they started crossbreeding and evolved into new, never seen before types of bacteria. Satan's asscrack is more hygienic than whatever biohazard plagues of Egypt this slab of concrete contains.

I live in the gutters. My only neighbours are an illegal gang of minors with a hatred for furries and another illegal gang but of adults this time who sell me bullets way above the market price. A dangerous neighbourhood where you can't have shit because SOMEONE STOLE MY BULL.

The basement I reside in has no windows, the smell is pungent and fucking vile down here. There isn't even a space for a bathroom.

This is my kitchenette/bathroomette/showerette/cupboardette/surgery tools disinfection stationette/sinkette/watercoolerette/toilette/fridge.

also my buckets yk.

One bucket for the makeshift bathroom, another for holding important organs and loose guts during surgery, a third one as a cooking pot for making tasty meat grub soup and the final one for murky water after sweeping the floor.

What do I use to tell them apart? Oh nothing :) I just mix em up every now and then, oppsie daisy.

Oh and the floors are CONSTANTLY wet for some reason. Yeah sticky slipped and almost broke his neck the other day so watch your steps.

There is also this eerie room with literal garbage and broken furniture right next to the entrance. Don't worry about it, sometimes I hear someone crying and screaming for help when I'm trying to go to sleep but it's just the factory being silly lol.

Now this? This is where the M A G I C happens. This is where Artemy the Menkhu makes his famous herbal remedies and natural mixtures. This is where the Panacea for the infamous sand plague gets made!

In a rusty empty food can.

Falling into a bucket with shit stains.

MEDICINE BABBYYY. GET YOUR WEAK SOFT BONED ASS BACK TO THE CAPITAL BITCH, THIS IS HOW REAL MEN MAKE REAALLL MEDICINE!! RAWRRRRR🦅🦅💥💥

Meanwhile, dickovsky has the view of the cathedral and polyhedron just around the corner from where he resides. He has a backyard with a lake, and all I have is a swamp behind my basement. I trudge through the mud each night, collecting weeds and herbs to mix and trade so I and the two orphans who adopted themselves into my life don't go starving.

Not to mention the gaggles of herb brides loitering outside and giving me a false bad reputation.

That dandy douchbag has a pharmacy, a grocery, and a tailor right next door. The closest establishment to my shrekcore place of resident is a dingy basement bar with shady drinks and no bouncer to check for ID, I saw two kids in there once.

Pov: a qt3.14 surgeon says his dad isn't home and invites you over.

The Unskinny Bop (Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: You're a really good cook and that's most of the problem. The rest of it is that he's too weak-willed to resist a treat right in front of him. Pairing: Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: 🌶 Explicit 🌶 Word Count: ~6.1k Warnings: Body insecurity (male and female), cunnilingus, masturbation, PiV sex A/N: Dad Bod Buggy my beloved

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She's playing all night And the music's all right Mama's got a squeeze box And Daddy never sleeps at night

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It's his own damn fault, really.

He's the one who charmed the pretty diner cook — that’d be you — into joining his crew. It was an easy sell. You get off of the little podunk island you’re stuck on and he gets those delicious little puffy pastry things every morning.

What he didn’t expect was how well you made everything else. He's had to let his pants out three times in two months because of it.

Fluffy pancakes, perfectly slung hash, and a pie-looking thing with eggs and vegetables and cheese you called a “keesh” for breakfast. Sandwiches stuffed with veggies and meat, piles of pasta tossed in rich sauce, and thick slabs of juicy steak for dinner. Not to mention the mountains of snacks and treats in between.

He came to realize that food is a key aspect of your personality. It's just what you do. A dog chases its tail, Richie pushes things off of tables, and you flit around the deck like a pastry pixie, abducting people into the galley for taste-testing. 

Like right now.

His only warning that you're coming is a chirped “Captain!” before he's yanked through the door. He doesn't even have time to react before you've shoved a spoonful of something into his mouth.

He's not surprised. You do it to everyone who walks in. Food is how you show affection.

“Whaddya think?” you ask.

He swallows it too quickly to make a judgment, but it's sweet and that's all he needs to know. “Tasty.”

Every time you smile, he swears a flashbulb goes off somewhere. “Good,” you say. “It'll be even better tomorrow.”

He doesn't even bother to hide the whine. “What?”

“They're icebox pies, silly goose,” you say. “You gotta let ‘em chill.”

Another thing about you is that you're a tease. Form-fitting blouses done up just a button too short and your hair pulled back to show off your soft shoulders. A sweet little wink and a touch of the shoulder as you place a plate in front of him. And now feeding him something delicious only to tell him he has to wait until tomorrow to have more.

Your fingers snapping in front of his face jolt him back to the present. “Huh?”

“I asked if you wanted to lick the spoon,” you say.

Does he wanna lick the spoon? What kind of question is that? He plucks it from your hands. “Is the sky blue? Do bears shit in the woods? Am I the captain?”

You roll your eyes, but you smile. “Gonna stick these in the big cooler and I'll be right back for the other,” you say.

Carefully, you pick up two of the three foil-covered pie tins resting on the counter and turn on your heel.

He watches you closely as you round the corner and out of sight. Such a nice soft ass you've got. He desperately wants to grab it, but the one time you got goosed, you slugged the guy so hard he was out cold for the rest of the day.

Something pink, creamy, and flecked with seeds coats the wooden spoon. He drags his tongue along the back of it and--

Oh. Oh, that is good.

His taste buds scream in ecstasy. The slightest little moan escapes his lips. For the briefest of moments, he thinks it's better than sex and his cock twitches, but he regains his sense of self before going completely mad.

He licks and licks and licks until every little drop of pink, sweet, creamy filling is gone.

Frustration bubbles in his chest. Waiting all night for this is gonna suck. Especially since you probably won't be whipping it out for breakfast.

He is captain, though. He could order you to give it to him. But you'd almost certainly laugh in his face and he really, really doesn't want that.

The shimmer of foil catches his eye. The third pie sits on the counter. Untouched. Uneaten. Mocking him in its creamy deliciousness.

He looks around. You're nowhere to be seen.

...maybe just a little bit.

He scrapes barely half a spoonful from the top. Not enough to be noticeable, just enough to satisfy his sweet tooth.

Mmm. Smooth. Thick. Sweet. Fruity. Delicious.

...a little bit more can't hurt. Then he can wait until tomorrow.

He gets a piece of the fruit itself this time and the squirt of juice on his tongue is enough to make him spoon up another dollop. And then another. And then another.

This is why your pants are so tight, his inner monologue chides. This is why you need a new belt. This is why you wear that thing around your waist. Goddamn hedonist.

They're not that tight, he retorts. And they wouldn't be at all if you weren't such a damn good cook. It's all your fault for putting delicious food in front of him and looking so pretty while doing it.

He turns to lean against the counter, only to stop dead.

You're standing there, eyes wide and brows raised. You point at him, then at the pie tin, then back at him. “Are you... Eating the...?”

“No,” he says quickly. He realizes he's holding the pie tin. “No.”

Something odd glints in your eyes as you approach him. Gingerly, you take the pie and the spoon from his hands. He lets you. You step even closer.

You're so close to him, close enough for him to feel the rise and fall of your breasts. Hell, you're so short compared to him that he can see straight down your shirt.

His heart races. What are you going to do? Throw it out? Throw him out? Punch his lights out? Never speak of this again? 

To his amazement, you do none of those things. Instead, you spoon up a bit more of the pie filling and raise it to his lips. You blink up at him with big doe eyes.

He looks between you and the spoon a few times. This can't be right. You should be furious. He opens his mouth to say something, but it's forgotten as you shove the spoon in his mouth.

Why are strawberries so delicious? Why is he so weak? Why are your breasts so warm and squishy against him?

He swallows it and, as he opens his mouth to breath, you shove another spoonful in. It's just as good the twentieth time.

You offer him another. And another. And another. He accepts them all.

Until he goes to take another and you pull it away. He frowns at you. You pull it back farther and farther. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand closer. You resist, but he's spent every day of his life trimming sails and hauling cargo.

He gets the spoon into his mouth and claims his prize with a smirk.

That glint in your eyes turns into a blaze. You drop the pie tin and spoon and they hit the floor with a clatter. Pulling your wrist from his grip, you grab him by the cheeks and yank him into a kiss.

He yelps against your lips and you take the opportunity to shove your tongue between them. Licking, lapping, pressing your soft, warm body right up against his.

Only a eunuch could resist this.

He kisses you back with the same fervor, grabbing your ass to lift you up a bit and it's so soft and pliant and perfect that he can't help but dig his fingers in.

Oh, it's everything he dreamed it would be. Your warm lips moving against his, your slick tongue dancing in his mouth, your soft palms gripping his jaw.

You've lapped up all the lingering sweetness in his mouth by the time he runs out of breath. He pushes you away and you whimper, your eyes wide and your shoulders heaving up and down.

Deprived of oxygen, he says something completely, absolutely, utterly brain dead. “Can I touch your tits?”

Instead of slapping him, you nod so hard your updo shakes loose. Curly strands fall in your face.

He blinks. “Wait, really?” You nod harder. “You sure?”

Something in you snaps. He can see it in your eyes. You grab him by the hand and damn near drag him out the door.

A quick trip up the stairs and across the main deck and he's pushing open the door to his quarters. You bustle past him and, once the click of the lock sounds, you grab him by the collar and yank him into another kiss, just as wet and desperate as the last.

He barely has enough time to shuck his coat about you throw him onto the bed, clambering atop him. You're a bit heavier than he expects. Not that he says that to your face, but you’re so light on your feet that he was starting to think you were filled with cotton candy. You're certainly sweet enough.

You yank his hat from his head and toss it aside. His bandana follows and his hair falls around his shoulders.

You suck in a breath. “So pretty.”

He shrugs. “Thanks-- mmph.”

He’s silenced by you standing on your knees to pull his hair out of its pigtails. This requires you to stick your tits in his face and oh my god they're like big marshmallows you smell like cinnamon.

He can't help himself. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in closer, breathing deeply. So warm, so soft.

You giggle and the vibration makes his face tingle. You pull away to fiddle with your blouse buttons. “Wanna know a secret?” you whisper.

“Is the secret boobs?” Wow, what the hell was that? He needs to stop talking.

Lucky for him, you grin. You open your blouse and a whole lot more than he was expecting spills out. You toss the blouse to the side and plant your hands on your hips. “Va-va-voom.”

He's speechless. Shaken. Struck utterly dumb by the sight before him. All he can do is pull off his gloves and take them in his hands, pushing them, weighing them, squeezing them. There’s just… so much. Round, squishy, bouncy, threatening to surge right out of your lacy bra.

“I am but one man,” he mumbles.

That makes you giggle and that makes them jiggle. Like two sacks of...like a pair of...

...he can't think of a metaphor that isn't unpleasant, so he just sticks his face in there again before something else stupid comes out of his mouth. You laugh even more and it vibrates against his cheeks and his -- that... -- and if God struck him down at this very second he would die a happy man.

You let him linger a moment before throwing your weight forward to push him onto the bed. He whimpers like a kicked puppy as you pull away.

You nibble your lip and knit your brow up as you fumble with his belt. “I showed you mine, now you show me yours.”

He's flattered, but it's the only thing keeping his stomach in check. That can't come off yet.

He takes your hands in his own. “What's the rush, beautiful?” he says. He brings them to his lips, first one, then the other. He gently kisses your knuckles, your palms, your wrists. “This is your show. We got all night.”

You're cute when you huff. You're even cuter when your face screws up into a pout. You yank your hands away and plant them on your soft hips. “Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this?” you whine.

That throws him for a loop and a half. You've wanted him too? Someone as clever and cute and talented as you wanted... him? He's not used to that. Not used to that at all.

He's stunned just long enough for you to get his belt open. You move on to his vest straps next, making quick work of those. He sucks his stomach in just as you pull it open.

Your eyes widen, and you break into a grin as they sweep up and down his torso. “Oh, hell-o,” you say, voice breathless.

He's bright red, he just knows it. “Hi,” he replies dumbly. He hopes the strain in his voice isn't too obvious.

You grin even wider. Your fingers ghost up his sides -- thank God it's his feet that are ticklish -- right up to his pecs. You give them a squeeze, not unlike how he palmed your breasts a few moments ago. The slightest of squeaks escapes him.

“I knew you were hiding something good,” you say. You give his nipples a tweak -- he squeaks louder -- and trail your fingers down to his waistband. “Let's see what else you've been keeping from me.”

He knows you're talking about his dick. He panics all the same.

He shoots a hand out to kill the light -- that should buy him some time -- and throws his weight into flipping you over. You squeal as he pins you to the bed and yanks your pants off.

And then he realizes. Your breasts? They're proportional.

Beneath him is the most lovely expanse of body he's ever seen. Soft and warm and squishy and made of convex curves that flow from gentle arms and smooth shoulders right into a pair of plump hips and shapely thighs.

He can't form words. He can't form thoughts. All he can do is stare with his mouth dropped open. What else can you do when you're in the presence of the divine?

And then he sees your face. Your eyes wide and unsure as they dart around the room. Your lips pressed together into a terse line. 

“What?” he asks.

The line scrunches to the side. “I'm bigger than I ought to be, I know,” you say. You sound as if you've said it a thousand times.

He gets mad. He can't help it. It's what he does. “Are you shitting me?”

You flinch a little, though more out of surprise than fear. “N-No, I don't--”

He wants to say so many things. About how this is perfection. About how you are the most gorgeous human being he's ever laid eyes on. About how this is everything he's ever wanted in life. How you're everything and you shouldn't be so damn sheepish.

But he can't get it out. All that comes out is a raspy, rude, “Shut the fuck up.”

You stare at him in shock. And not the fun shock. It's the kind where you're not sure if you've stepped on eggshells or not.

Fuck it. No time for words. He grabs your thighs and pulls you forward, yanking your panties off and sweet holy shit you don't shave down there how could you possibly be any more perfect?

His mouth waters. His cock throbs. He dives in. He drags his tongue up your inner thighs, soft and smooth and sweet as that pie.

“Captain--!” A nip to the tender flesh turns the exclamation into a squeak.

“I said shut up,” he says between kisses.

Finally, you stop talking. You only pant and moan as he shoves his face into your pussy, lapping at your already sopping cunt. Did he do this? Are you this wet because of him?

He can't help it. He stuffs his hand down the front of his pants to fondle himself. Like the desperate bastard he is, his cock’s hard and leaking already.

He grinds against his palm as he gorges himself on you. Licking, sucking, swirling, punctuating with a few nips for good measure. It's all harmonized by the most beautiful sounds he's ever heard flowing from your lips, high-pitched and whiny.

He's not sure how long has passed when you grab his head and push him away. Time flows strangely between your thighs.

You've got a crazed look in your eyes again. “I want you inside me.”

He wants to say something clever, something cool and on brand for him, like it's not time for the finale yet or but my leading lady isn't satisfied.

But that would delay being inside you and he's too addled to think of anything. He jumps to his feet and wriggles out of his trousers and shorts. If he were more aware of himself, he'd be humiliated by just how much he has to shimmy and dance around to get them off his hips, but there's not enough blood in his brain to be self-conscious.

He kicks them away in whatever direction. Something crashes to the floor and he doesn't care. He looks back to your beautiful face--

You're wide-eyed as you look at him. He follows your gaze, right down to his--

In all the excitement, he's not sucking it in anymore.

Now it's his turn to be sheepish. He sucks it in again. But he can't hold it. Too much blood in his cock. He tries again with the same result.

Unfortunately for him, it's drawn your attention even more. Off comes your bra, and you don't take your eyes off his stomach the whole time.

Now he really can't think anymore. They're just so pretty and perfect. You're so pretty and perfect. He doesn't deserve this. This is a hell of a mismatch if ever there was one. You, divinity in the flesh. Him, a fat, dirty old clown.

This is a joke. It has to be. Someone put you up to this and now you're gonna back out and he's gonna let you because you deserve better so he better just rip the bandage off now and--

“Out,” he spits. “Get out.”

You blink at him in shock, then your face hardens. You speak with the firmness of a queen who's sick of her courtiers’ bullshit. “Get over here and get on top of me.”

You're mocking him. You gotta be. There’s no other explanation. “I said--”

You look him in the eyes. Something dangerous glitters there. “Buggy, get the fuck on top of me.”

It comes out at a hoarse yell. “Stop mocking me!”

You spring upwards and, with that wild strength that surprises him every time, you throw him on the bed. It squeaks as he bounces -- actually, that might have come from him.

You've got a look on your face he can only describe as murderous. “I did not wait two months for you to chicken out,” you say. You clamber onto him. “I did not wait two fucking months for you to finally man up and say something only for you to get self-conscious!”

Fear, anger, and arousal battle for control of his body. Arousal wins. You are hot as a griddle when you're mad.

You sit yourself on his belly, just above his cock. It twitches against your ass and he's sure it's made of clouds and he groans.

“Look at me,” you say.

He doesn't. He can't. He doesn't want to see the scorn that's surely in your eyes.

You learn forward and grab his chin, squeezing his cheeks and forcing him to look. Even in the dim light, he can see the sheen of sweat on your face and the rise and fall of your chest as you pant.

“If you want me to leave, I will,” you say, “but you will never get this chance again.”

No. No no no no. He wants you. He wants you so bad. He's never had perfection this close and it's never wanted him as much as you seem to.

“Do you want me to leave?” you ask firmly.

He shakes his head so hard it hurts.

You don't grin. You simply release his chin and lift yourself up. You lower yourself on his cock and, as he watches it disappear, inch by slick inch into your hot, wet pussy, the battle is over.

He doesn't care if this is a trick anymore. He's going to get his.

He grabs your thighs and pulls you down onto him, fingers sinking into the smooth flesh. You gasp as he bottoms out, gripping the swell of his hips. He doesn't care. They're called love handles for a reason.

And then you start to bounce.

It starts in your legs. Pumping your thighs to lift yourself up and drop down onto his cock. The jolt ripples through your whole body, from your thighs to your belly to your breasts.

He's transfixed. So transfixed that he doesn't even notice you grabbing his pecs, squishing and squashing them between your gentle fingers. You tweak his nipples and he damn near howls.

He can't let you have all the fun. He pops his hand off to swirl his fingers around your clit.

But you don't cry out or moan. You start babbling. Something about eating and how hot he is and how much you love that he loves your cooking and it's all interspersed with pleasant-sounding gibberish. But he doesn't hear a word of it. You're too warm and slick and it goes in one ear and it the other.

But the sounds. God, the sounds of him sliding in and out of you. Wet and disgusting and it makes his mouth water and his cock leak and that just makes it wetter--

The slap of skin on skin and wet on wet and his moans and your chattering all mingle into a delicious symphony. 

But it stops all too soon. Your breath hitches and you bend at the waist, singing his name like a songbird, the same little melody over and over. “Buggy, Buggy, Buggy...!”

His name dissolves into little yips and gasps as your cunt flutters around his cock. It's so good. Better than treasure. Better than adrenaline. Better than a full belly after a hard day's work--

He realizes he's not wearing a condom. Fuck. “Where ya want it?” he grunts.

You don't hesitate. “In me,” you say between gasps.

In you? Inside you? Spilling his hot, wet cum into your hot, wet cunt? Your cunt? Soaking it? Seeding it? Making it even messier and sloppier and filling you up so much that--

He almost pops right then and there, but he bites his lip. “Nuh-uh. Where?”

“In me!” you spit.

He whines the most unmanly of whines. He will. He won't. He wants to. He can't. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Captain,” you whimper, “Buggy, please...”

He looks up at you. Your hands on his chest, your breasts heaving with each breath, your little belly rising and falling, your luscious thighs on either side of his hips, your lips dropped open as you pant, your bush surrounding his fingers--

God damn it.

He throws you to the side as he pops like a champagne cork. A few drops end up on you, but most of it splatters onto the underside of his belly, where it's started obeying gravity.

One hand grips the sheets and the other grips something warm and his hips buck and his head swims and his mouth makes utterly pathetic noises. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

He crashes back to earth like a meteor strike. All he can see is white as he flops back onto the mattress, gasping for breath.

He has no idea how long it takes for him to recover. But something soft tickles the knuckles of his detached hand. A shudder racks him as he turns his head towards you.

Post-orgasm haze still clouds your eyes, but they're big and round as a doe’s as you cradle his hand close to his face. You press your lips to his knuckles.

He gives a weak smile. “Hi.”

You giggle. God, he loves that giggle. He wishes he could hear it every day. He'd put it in a sea shell if he could, carry it around in his pocket and press it to his ear whenever he feels lonely. Or spin it into cotton candy. It's certainly light and sweet enough. Or whip it up onto a foam and fold it into batter like he watched you do that one time for cake...

His stomach growls. He needs to stop thinking about food.

You kiss his knuckles again, still smiling so very sweetly. “Are you alright?”

“Fuckin’ amazing,” he mumbles. It's the truth.

Detaching his other hand, he feels around on the floor. There's a towel here somewhere... Unless he threw it on the chair... Or over the folding screen...

He finds it slung over the door of his wardrobe. He offers it to you, but you shake your head. “After you.”

Suit yourself. He mops his belly up as you watch. Shit, this was a big one.

Satisfied, he tosses the towel away. He rolls over to take you in his arms, but he finds nothing. You're standing up, pulling his coat on and closing it around your front.

“Get over here,” he says. “That's an order.”

“I gotta clean up,” you say.

He panics. He can't help it. His voice quivers like a child's. “Don’t leave. Please.”

You give him a kind look that almost makes him cry. “I’ll be right back,” you coo. “I promise.”

He doesn't want to be alone. Not now. Tears prick at his eyes and his lip quivers. But you're out the door before he can stop you.

You're not coming back. He knows it. He disappointed you. How could he not? You're beautiful. You're divine. You're perfect.

And what is he? A fat old clown.

He lays there, shivering in the cold air, too afraid to move. Too aware of his shortcomings. Too aware of every flaw, every defect, every deficiency. His temper. His teeth. His nose. His appetite. His everything.

The door opens. The moonlight frames your silhouette for a moment before you close the door behind you.

He nearly sobs with relief. You don't notice, thankfully, as you shuck his coat.

He launches his arms at you as he sits upright, pulling you into an embrace as he falls back down. He lays you to the side, slipping under your arm and tucking his head in the crook between your chin and chest.

You thread your fingers through his hair. “Don't tell me you thought I wasn't coming back.”

He murmurs something he forgets as soon as it leaves his lips. You're so soft. So warm. So comfortable. And he's so exhausted.

You giggle. You kiss his forehead and slide your fingers through his hair. “Bonwee, sha.”

He has no idea what that means, but you say it with such warmth that it must be something good. He snuggles up close to you.

Rocked by the sea and calmed by your heartbeat, he drifts off.

---

He sleeps well, but he stirs a few times.

The first is when you shift out from under him, mumbling something in a language he can't place. You roll onto your side, your back to him. He doesn't like that at all and pulls you in to be the little spoon. You squeak. It's cute. He doesn't care that his belly presses against your back. 

He stirs again when his arm falls asleep and he rolls onto his side. You follow him this time. You press yourself right up against his back, breasts and belly and thighs squishing against him. You're so warm.

The final time is as the gray light of dawn slips through the windows. He's shaken from a dream and he grumbles.

“I gotta go get started on breakfast,” you whisper. “Just wanted to let you know I wasn't lovin’ and leavin’.”

That's so sweet of you. “You're so sweet,” he mumbles sweetly.

You giggle. “See you in a few hours.”

You kiss the tip of his nose and he's not even upset.

===

You had a lovely night, but you're walking a bit funny and it's making your usual bustling around the galley just difficult enough to be annoying. And the visions of your stark naked captain filling your head are making it even harder.

You're a very simple woman, like your mother before you. You like men. You like food. You like men who like food. You especially like men who like your food.

Captain Buggy's a man. Captain Buggy likes food. And he loves your food, if his constant hovering in the galley is anything to go on. And he loves it a lot and it's showing.

The memory of him lying beneath you, his warm hips against your thighs, his belly wobbling as you bounce atop him, his head thrown back in bliss, surprises you just as you're tossing a flapjack. It slams into the ceiling and stays there.

Your fellow cook, a swarthy fellow going by Bloomer, casts the new ceiling decor an odd look. He turns it on you. “You alright, girl?”

You know what? Screw this. Everyone else can handle breakfast. “I'm gonna go wake up the captain,” you say. “How's he like his coffee?”

Milk and two cubes of sugar, he tells you. You put in cream and three cubes. Man's gotta get his strength back from last night, you tell yourself as you set off across the deck. 

You knock three times on the door. No answer. You knock harder. Still nothing. You take that as a sign he may be dead and enter just in case.

Captain Buggy is, in fact, quite alive, if not also naked. He's in front of the mirror... or his face is, anyways. His body is turned completely around as he examines the reflection of his rear. He grabs a handful, thick fingers sinking into the squish. He gives it a jiggle and it wobbles.

You don't blame him. It's a great ass. Perfect for grabbing and digging your nails into. Next time, you're making him get on top so you can do just that. 

But you prefer his front. That's where all the good shit is. Soft, muscular pecs, perfect for grabbing and groping, covered in a dusting of hair that trails down to his soft belly.

His hands go there next, pinching his sides. He gives them a shake and his belly bounces. 

That little zing shoots up your gut and into your throat, that one you always get around men like him. That same one as when you first saw him from across the diner, draining a pitcher of beer. The same one you had last night when you walked in on him eating pie filling. And now, watching him preening after a wild romp.

...or you thought he was preening. He turns his body around and as his hands go to his face -- he's got a stronger jawline than you'd expected when he's barefaced -- you notice his laugh lines deepen. He lets out a grunt of disgust as his lips curl.

You frown. He's saying ugh as if you couldn't keep your hands off of him last night. Coaxing him in closer with pie filling just so you could feel his body molding against yours. Grabbing his cheeks and yanking him in for a kiss you'd been craving for months. Dragging him to his cabin and fucking yourself on him while you dug your nails into whatever soft flesh you could grab.

You close the door with a firm check of the hips. The slam startles him, but he calms as he sees you. Somewhat. There's still an uneasy look in his eye.

“G’morning,” he says. A little blush blooms across his cheeks. He avoids eye contact.

He'd be cute if he wasn't pathetic. You set the coffee down on the nearest surface and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your hands on the swell just above his hips and resting your cheek between his shoulder blades.

“Thank you for finally taking the hint,” you say into his skin.

He chuckles, a low, vibrating thrum. “I never miss a cue, baby.”

Lies. You've been trying everything. Flirting. Making his favorite food. You even went braless one day on a supply run with him and he didn't even blink. Idiot.

“Then why'd it take you so damn long?”

He scoffs. “Had to make sure I wasn't seeing things,” he mumbles.

He's so pathetic. Like a wet cat. You can't help but squeeze his sides--

He jumps away from you like you gave him an electric shock. “Stop it!” he spits.

You blink. “Stop what?”

“Stop-- Stop mocking me!”

You blink a few more times. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

The flush deepens along with his scowl. “Quit touching me like that.”

Not what he was saying last night. “Like what?”

“Stop grabbing my--” He huffs. “I know I’m fat. Quit rubbing it in.”

Pardon? Did you hear that correctly? Does he know who he's talking to? You try to keep your tone even, but you were never good at that. “Permission to speak freely, Captain?”

He blanches. “...No.”

Too bad. You grab him by the waist and throw him onto the bed. He yelps as he bounces, then once again as you straddle his waist.

“Buggy. Darling. Cher,” you say. “Do you really think I would have fucked you if I didn't think you were hot shit?”

He simmers like a boiling pot with the lid still on. “Maybe!”

Pour l’amour de Dieu, c’est un contraieuse et un tête de cabri et pourquoi ce clown so fucking stupid?

You scoot backwards, kissing your way down his chest. Each one gets a tiny grunt from him until you get to his belly. He growls and tries to roll away, but you hold fast. You gently kiss just above his navel, then the tuft of blue hair right below it.

You peer up at him. He peers back, brow knit up, questioning you.

You press your face into his navel and blow a raspberry against his skin.

Buggy squeal-laughs. You've never heard him make that noise before and it's very cute. You do it again and he devolves into laughter.

“Sto-o-op!” he cackles.

You do not. You do it again and again until he's wheezing and not scowling any more. You stare up at him, fingering the tuft of hair below his navel.

He comes down slowly, cackles turning to giggles to breathless gasps. He finally sees you staring. “What?”

“Feeling better?” you ask. He huffs, but he does nod. “Good. Now stop being mean to my favorite captain.”

He frowns a bit at that. “Who’s that? Alvida? When'd she come up?” You keep staring at him. He blinks. “Wait, you mean--?”

Gros couillion. “No, the other guy I fucked last night,” you say. He bristles. Fuck’s sake. “Yes, you!”

He blinks again. The flush returns. “You mean that?”

“I wouldn't be on top of your naked-ass body if I didn't.” You place lean in close, the tip of your nose bumping his. “And you have a very nice body, Captain.”

Just for emphasis, you grab his side, right at the fleshiest part, and give a hard squeeze. He jumps, but nods.

He tries to dive in for a kiss, but you pull away. If you do that, you'll be here all morning. You stand up, offering him your hands. “C’mon, breakfast is ready,” you say.

“I'm not hungry.” His stomach growls. He glares at it. “Shut up.”

Trump card time. “Guess I'll just have to feed all those beignets to Richie, then.”

His eyes go wide. “...you made bin-yays?”

He still can't pronounce it right, but he's getting there. “Sure did,” you say coolly. You examine your nails. “Won't be good for much longer.”

His stomach growls again. “And that pie?” 

“Should be good to go, but you better be quick. They'll go fast.”

He jumps to his feet and licks his lips. “Well, keep some for me! Lemme-- Lemme get dressed and I'll be right down.”

“Don't take too long,” you say.

You turn to leave, but he grabs your hand. With a yank and a twirl, he pulls you flush against him and into a kiss.

You melt right into it. Rough lips move against yours, his warm body molds against you, strong arms holding you tight, belly pressing against yours... his nose squishing into your cheek. Wonderful, all of it.

You separate with a pop. He grins at you and wipes his wrist along his lips. “Didn’t think I was gonna let you leave without that?”

You blush. Now he decides to be slick. “Just get dressed.”

You twirl him around and, with a flat hand, you swat his ass. Just to see it quiver. The slap echoes in the small room and he jumps, but you can't stick around to see the look on his face.

You've got work to do.

---

Special thanks to my bf, Meg, and Ollie for beta-ing!

To the Mastahpost | To the Tip Jar

HOW THEY COOK YOU BREAKFAST ♡

ft. Gojo, Toji x fem reader

warnings : smut, mentions of sex, food play, oral (f receiving), squirting

+ Dividers | not proof read!

GOJO loved cooking you breakfast. It wasn’t the joy on your face seeing that he beat you to it- no, it was the flustered expression of you fresh out of the bed in the morning, staring at him in the baby pink apron with the word Daddy written in a deep red. That’s not what got you, though, it’s what was underneath. Nothing, absolutely nothing.

“Rise and shine!” He had said excitedly. The smell of your favorite waking you up. You barely peeled your eyes away from the outline of his cock poking through the thick material over to the french toast that had your stomach growling. “I hope someone brushed their teeth this morning.” He turned away from you. It made you cough out a small giggle. You watch his perfect little ass move.

“Sato..what are you doing babe?” You giggle some more watching him wiggle his butt. “What are you laughing at~ Is it as tasty as it looks babydoll?” He coos. Gojo turns back to you, that shitty smirk on his lips as he watches you dip your finger in the syrup and suck it. “It’s delicious baby.” He hums and leans over the counter.

“I spent a good while making it~” He leans in to capture you in a kiss, the syrupy taste dancing around your mouths. You could tell he’s been tasting it, too. “S’perfect..” you mumble into the kiss. You lean up at the feel of his hand creeping up your neck. You didn’t hesitate to grab his bare ass, earning a chuckle from him. “Why you slutting around, huh?” You grumble.

“Wellll let me tell you a little story.” Gojo’s lips move down to your chin. “I woke up this morning to the most beautiful view. I couldn’t help myself! That beautiful little pussy of yours on full display with Daddy’s seed spilling out from last night~”

You moan, feeling his teeth graze against your neck. “I couldn’t help myself. And since you were sleeping, Daddy had to spill his seed elsewhere..” Gojo dips his finger in the syrup again. You open your mouth wide, tongue out. “Eat up babydoll~”

TOJI gives you breakfast in bed. It’s an off day for the both of you, and to make things better, it’s raining. You loved nothing more than a rainy morning in your apartment with your boyfriend. Especially when he made you breakfast, literally.

“S’fuckin good mama.” He groans into the heat of your folds. You whimper softly, hand in his hair while you chewed on the homemade waffle. You may back into the softness of your shared bed, large pillows supporting your back, cover wrapped up with your legs. And between them was Toji’s face lapping at your sensitive clit. “That’s my girl..” He growls, his face sinking deeper into your heat. “s’wet mama.”

Your eyes flutter shut, hips rolling as Toji’s hand came up to grip your hip. His shirt that you wore rolled up to your stomach. “M’gonna cum Toji...” You whine. Your hips rocked against his tongue. You drop the waffle on the floor as you moaned loudly, eyes squeezing and toes curling. Your body froze up as he continued to eat you through your orgasm.

“Ahh- ah fuck- I can’t..shit s..top.” your legs tremble, gasping at the wash over your body. You gush over Toji’s tongue, earning a satisfied hum from him. He lifts his head, smirking down at your body. Reaching for the tray on the bedside table, he grabs one of your waffles, biting into it.

“You gonna let these go to waste?”

Their Perfect Date [Human Edition]

Rating: General

Angel Edition | Demon Edition

Please remember: good days are ahead of you.

Adam

Brings you a small bouquet of flowers.

He’s paying for the date (at least the first date), it's just how his mom raised him.

Defo the movie and a meal type.

Some kind of historical drama or action comedy.

Slushy with 2 straws, and the classic yawn and stretch into putting his arm around you.

If all else goes to crap, you can at least talk about the movie during dinner.

Dinner being pizza/burgers from the closest table service fast food place.

Charlie

No gift, actually, it's your job to bring a selection of snacks. (She will also be providing a selection of her own favourite goodies.)

Chips/crisps, candy, pizza.

Bring caffeine too because it's gonna be an all-nighter.

It’s a gaming sleepover – think RE6, overcooked, Mario Kart, Wolfenstein ET, or whatever multiplayer games you’re into.

All on her couch in your hand-made blanket fort, until you both crash, or find another, more intimate activity.

Dean

Won't bring you a gift but will pay for at least the first round of drinks.

Gotta be some unknown dive bar with 50 beers on tap, barrels for tables, greasy food, and a classic rock tribute band that goes hard.

Tasty food, good music, stunning company, what more could a man want.

Also, a pool/foos/hockey tables are a must.

Spend the night drinking, dancing, and kicking his ass at your game of choice.

Bonus points if cook him breakfast in the morning.

Ketch

Would gift you wine(/some kind of alcohol), the fancy kind that’s hard to pronounce. Or if you’re not a drinker, probably a box of chocolate (Fortnum & Mason or a similarly high-end brand).

The date itself, something active but competitive.

Axe throwing, paintball, maybe even go-karting or dirt biking.

Wants to show off for you.

If you struggle to keep up, he’ll give you pointers, help you improve, but won’t pretend to be bad/let you win.

If you’re genuinely good, even good enough to beat him… *heart-eyes*

Sam

I actually think he would really enjoy going to a museum or gallery.

He’s a smart guy, and he loves to learn, but so often it's under s time constraint, or it's specific. 

But on a date, he gets to not only spend time with the person he loves

But he’s able to slowly, casually explore the museum, observing, and learning about each piece without it being for a case.

If you’re the kinda person that always carries a bag, he’d hold it for you all the way through, and hold your hand.

You’re gonna stop and look at everything he wants to look at, and he’s gonna do the same for you.

Heart eyes when you start dragging his mammoth height through the crowds when you get excited to see something.

Debrief and refresh afterwards at the closest café, where you can both gush about your favourite parts.

A/N: YALL IM BACK IM ALIVE. sorry for the long pause! was busy with school (and star rail....) please enjoy this rather short fic! (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡

"dan, dan heng!"

"ugh! wait for a bit- ah!"

you were bouncing hastily on dan heng's cock for nearly an hour already. poor guy's close to passing out due to cumming three times in a row.

"w-wait! i can't anymore, ah~ ah!"

dan heng bit his lips and blinked rapidly to regain some consciousness from the overwhelming pleasure on his dick.

"can you at least remove the dildo- ugh, agh! ah!♡"

he let out his whorish moans, though he stopped trying to hide them a long time ago, and gripped your waist tight.

"no can do baby, you told me it's my turn today. i'm gonna do what i want and no Aeon will stop me from riding your dick dry!♡"

you moaned shamelessly, feeling the overstimulation too but when you peer down at the charming face beneath you, you feel more energy coursing through your body until everyone in the express heard your coupling.

"b-baby, can we at least take a break then? i, i need to go to the washroom," dan heng pleaded, fondling your sensitive nipples.

"ugh! you-"

as revenge, you clamped down on his raging cock that spurted out some... liquids.

"wait, don't! i might-"

someone whistled behind you, making you accidentally squeeze dan heng and he, in turn, fire his releases. cum and piss.

"ngh! mh- ahh!" you cried out and orgasmed too, shocked by the torrential, hot explosion inside your walls.

"n-nooo! ah, mrgh, agh~" dan heng shot up and put his arms around you so he can have some of his bearings back by biting your neck, not knowing that it'll make your grip tighter and cause his dick to spurt out more cum.

"yooo~ was just passing by when i heard such lovely sounds. room for more?"

"c-caelus! shut the door!" you whipped your head to the guy (after dan heng removed his teeth and was licking his teeth marks) who was now climbing your bed.

"doncha worry, princess. it's already closed. wouldn't want to share this tasty piece before taking a bite first, hm?"

you felt more hands caressing your body, making you shiver and moan alongside dan heng who is still inside you.

"say, if i lift you right now. what will come out first? dan heng's cum or piss?" caelus gripped your waist, putting his palms over dan heng's.

you and dan heng just breathed heavily and waited for the newcomer's next actions.

"let's find out!" without any warning, caelus raised you from dan heng's cock which made him sensitive, thus coming once more. you weren't faring any better, having a mini release when you felt all kinds of liquid come out from your pussy.

"caelus! i was sensitive!" you hit him who is now hugging you and rubbing his clothed dick on your ass.

"aw babe, that hurt! both on my frail body and..." he suddenly leaned close to your ears and whispered, "my miserable dick♡"

you were no stranger to caelus' body, both from him and you saving each other through missions, and in bed where he'll cause you severe body aches the next day after.

("sorry princess, didn't mean to get so rough on you yesterday. you were just so, so cute with that lingerie!♡"

"oh, shut up. get me some breakfast and say to himeko and the others that i feel under the weather."

"since you were under my-"

"caelus i swear to every Aeon out there that i will push you out the express when pom-pom's not watching.")

"princess, do i need to push you down and fuck you on dan heng so you'll just think of us?"

without waiting for your reply, he went with his words and pushed you down on the vulnerable boy.

with the abrupt action, your hole and clit grazed dan heng's wet, and still hard, dick which made the both of you moan and grasp each other.

"the two of you are cute and all, so sensitive, but i'm gonna feel lonely~"

caelus gripped your waist with one hand, and the other pushed two fingers into your asshole.

"you didn't deny me a while ago when i asked you if there's room for more, right? so i'll be taking my fill!"

"ah! caelus, s-slow down! ah, ah!"

the man's fast movements move your body, making you essentially grind on dan heng's dick.

"mgh, mmh, ugh!" dan heng was back to biting his lip to not let caelus hear him. then as for you, you're far too gone so your voice accompanies the sticky, loud sounds coming from caelus' hand and your ass.

"dan heng, sweetie, it's not like i didn't fuck you before. why devoid me of the pleasure in hearing your whimpers?"

your head shot up and looked at the blushing man, "woah, that's true? wait, why did i still ask? my baby is so slutty so it is expected!"

you grinned cheekily when you unexpectedly felt dan heng grip your waist too.

"caelus."

"hm?~"

"drive her to madness with her asshole, then fuck her pussy after next to my dick."

you struggled when you heard dan heng's words but his hands pin you to their heated bodies.

"oh~ such a tempting invitation! of course~"

caelus' fingers suddenly went out your ass, but then you felt a much larger, heavy mass resting on your asscheeks.

"but, why just her pussy? i'm sure you can fit in her ass too, dan heng," caelus slides his dick up and down while smiling down at the presently smirking man.

"oh~" he copied caelus' exclamation, making you shudder when you heard his husky voice, "i think that's a great idea. if my baby says i'm slutty, then she's the same too, right?" he licked your nipple and bit down on it while positioning his dick on your currently, but not for long, close hole.

"it's gonna get crowded in this cute hole!~"

oh shit, no walking for a week then.

sk3lly’s diary entry [[ 4/26/2024 ]]

[[ btw this was saved in my drafts and edited throughout the day ]]

hii everyone !!

so with the diet i’m on rn, my limit for today is 500 cals (which atp really seems like a lot…)

i took a shower yesterday and today my hair is super fluffy <33 i think i kinda look like a lamb… or maybe an alpaca cuz my hair covers my eyes lol (2020 fluffy alt hair ftw!!)

today’s outfit: ptv collide with the sky tee, black zip-up hoodie, black fingerless arm warmers with white crosses on each, silver studded belt, low-waisted denim shorts, baggy black leg warmers with white stars and a skull and crossbones, and beige furry platform ankle boots

i decided to treat myself with getting a thigh gap yesterday by showing it off and wearing something cute today ^_^

breakfast:

Monster Energy (Ultra Watermelon) (i don’t really like this flavor but it’s the only one we had :’3) (10)

Fiber One chocolate chip soft-baked bar (70)

i eat breakfast during homeroom since i don’t eat until 7am, which is when my bus comes.

ugh i feel kinda bloated rn but i don’t have any water around ㅠㅠ

my tongue still feels burnt from yesterday when i accidentally took a sip of my tea without letting it cool down first >~< AAAAH WHOOPS IT SMELLED TOO GOOD I COULDNT RESIST

lunch: the remainder of my monster from this morning and 2 sticks of gum

i usually skip lunch; maybe just a piece of gum or two. it’s easier to not eat during school since my mom isn’t trying to force food down my throat.

actually, yesterday my friend had a big ass waffle with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and strawberries and a sausage patty for lunch. right next to me. was it tempting? yes, of course. did i eat it? no. was it worth not eating it? absolutely <3

goddammit i can smell peanut butter near me and it smells so good it’s making me hungry >:(

gonna stay strong tho !!

ooo and on fridays the cafeteria plays music and rn they’re playing dive in by ptv <33 makes it easier to ☆ve hehe

my friend made chocolate chip pancakes in her baking class but i said no ty :3 they smelled good tho heh

my other friend who i’m planning on hanging out with on sunday said she had two boba teas and she’d give me one and i’m PRAYING TO ALL THAT IS HOLY that it’s either safe or it tastes bad (>人<;)

HUH?? we’re doing an assignment that involves food in english class?? all this food talk in the span of like 10 mins 😭

ugh my friend really said “you don’t need any more calories” when she hasn’t seen me eat at school in like forever 😭 she’ll start noticing soon tho…

after-school snack:

10 red grapes (31.9)

10 green grapes (30.1)

rice cake (40)

i love grapes they’re so good and low-cal >.<

i’m feeling super good today so i’ll probably do my workout soon, after i finish my snack and tell my mom to get the shirataki noodles out (so they’re ready by 5pm which is when i eat dinner)

i’m actually super excited cuz i might go shopping with my family tmr and we’ll be getting a restock of safe foods ^_^

welp best mistake of my life just happened: i was doing my leg lifts and got so enthralled in them that i accidentally did 30 on my right side instead of my usual 25 o_O BUT I DID MORE THAN USUAL AND DIDNT REALIZE IT OMG

finished my workout; stretching now :3

dinner:

my dad is away for a business trip so i had to really convince my mom i’m not starving myself lol

Nasoya shirataki noodles with soy sauce and hot sauce (65)

wasabi-flavored roasted seaweed (25)

this is like the most 4n4 meal ever lmao. shirataki noodles are low cal and need to be chewed well, hot sauce boosts metabolism and makes you drink water between bites, and wasabi does the same thing as the hot sauce. and it’s all tasty xP

dessert:

Enlightened brownies and cookie dough ice cream (150)

lavender black tea with almond milk and stevia (10)

i didn’t listen to the ice cream container when it said “allow to defrost before digging in” and i tried scooping it right away 😵‍💫 it was super good tho !!

the tea felt especially refreshing; i missed milk tea (specifically boba ㅠㅠ) and it tasted like it (only minus the tapioca pearls… *sigh*…)

todays total…

432

[[ possibly 433 cuz of my gum and vitamins ]]

i’m hella proud of myself for not even meeting my limit, let alone going over it. not sure if this is just the honeymoon phase talking but i’m pumped !! tmr i get back to 200 cals tho; hope i can withstand it

Sword for Hire Chapter 6

Bronn x reader

Word Count: 872

Summary: The pair of you make a decision about the way you’re gonna travel

Note: This isn’t exactly a popular work, but I’ll say it anyway. I might cut this one here instead of doing the full 10 chapters of it because I really ran outta steam.

The day started delightfully. Genuinely good without any hint of sarcasm. Bronn woke you with his head between your legs, the pair of you managed to catch a stag for breakfast (and later, lunch), and you even managed to reach your destination a full day ahead of schedule. Then it was simply a matter of delivering the package carried from King’s Landing (the entire reason you’d traveled to this particular flavor of Nowhere) and getting paid.

“Now that was my kind of job,” Bronn was happily proclaiming as the tavern’s server deposited two large bowls of stew and cups of ale on your table.

You scoffed disbelievingly before taking a drink.

Immediately, his eyebrows crawled up his forehead. “Are you arguing with me, sweetheart?”

“After all of the times I’ve been subjected to your sermons about the delights of fighting and fucking. You bet your ass I’m arguing with you, sweetheart.”

At the sight of his roguish smile, you couldn’t help but be almost overwhelmed with how much you loved this man. “Maybe I just said it for your benefit. You ever think about that?”

“Oh, is that it?” you laughed.

“Certainly! Always thinking about my lovely wife, I am.”

“Now that I’ll believe.”

A few quiet minutes passed where the pair of you slurped down the (surprisingly tasty) stew. One of your feet was hooked around his ankle the entire time, because somehow after all this time together, you still hadn’t gotten used to the little flutter in your chest that made itself known every time your eyes met. Similarly, he made a point of brushing his fingers against yours every time the stew’s accompanying loaf of bread was passed between you.

“So,” you spoke up once your bowl consisted of only the dregs of your meal, “what’s next?”

He raised a single eyebrow. “You only ask that when you’ve got something specific in mind. Which means you want to take that job from that Lannister cunt that tried to hire us back at Casterly Rock.”

You pointed your spoon at him. “It’ll pay well and you know it.”

“It’s another fucking messenger job!”

“You were just singing praises for messenger jobs! What’s so wrong with taking another?”

“We’re godsdamned sellswords, that’s what’s wrong with it. It’s been weeks since we’ve had a real fight, and a man needs to get his blood up sometimes.”

You sighed. As proven by the earlier conversation, you knew full well how much he loved his fighting. Not that you could blame him. Not really. It was only fair since he was so good at it. Still . . . you simply weren’t in the mood to fight for your life. You’d been enjoying the simple escort and delivery jobs the pair of you had been on lately.

Then a thought occurred to you. “What if we split up for a bit?”

“What? One fucking fight and you’re ready to give up?”

“No!” you exclaimed, hating even the idea of it. “Think about it, Bronn. I want a break, and you don’t. We could make twice the money working separate jobs. As long as we don’t get killed in the interim, why not? We can just meet up in a few months at, say, Riverrun.”

He sat silently for a moment, only squinting at you as he thought. “Are you suggesting either of us would be able to stay celibate that long? Because I know us too well to think we’ll not run into problems by next week.”

You only shrugged. You’d been mulling this idea over for a while, worrying about the possibility of him getting tired of you or vice versa. “Don’t fall in love with anyone else while we’re apart, and I won’t give a damn who you fuck. Can you say the same?”

After thinking on it for a second, he shrugged. “Can’t say I’ve ever been the jealous sort.”

As if sent by the gods for some strange joke, a soldier chose that moment to sidle up and ask, “Did I just hear that this lovely lady is going to be suffering of a cold bed?”

“Fuck off, lad,” Bronn muttered. “Just because I’m not the jealous type, doesn’t mean I won’t gut her for propositioning her in front of me.”

“Now, now. From what I was hearing, you’re the one that’s leaving her lonely.”

“Then maybe you’ll listen when I say it.” You pulled a dagger from your belt to slam it into the table. “Fuck off, lad.”

“Unbelievable,” he muttered uselessly as he slunk back to the corner of the tavern from whence he came. 

After a moment, your eyes met Bronn’s, and it was only seconds before both of you broke down into not-so-quiet snickers.

“Come here,” he instructed, grinning with a little wave of his hand. 

The pair of you stood simultaneously, sharing a smiling kiss over the table top.

“Are we really going to do this?” you asked when you parted, still leaning with both palms on the table.

“We travelled alone before,” he pointed out.

“True.”

“That reunion’s gonna be a  thing of fuckin’ beauty.”

You yanked him in for another kiss. “Why don’t you give me a taste now?”

His grin turned wicked. “Fuck, I love you.”

We cool with stuff taking place on phones/through texts too? Cuz i have a surplus of that as well...

I have a ton of shit where it's formatted as text convos and shit between the derpos becauseeeeeeeeeee yes lol. (Legit tho, it is fun and it's a good way to also flesh out characters, like what kinda shiz would they talk about through text convos? I recommend doing that if you're looking for more ways to write stuff lol) ------- Here's a Sharksty one Kristy: Hey, did you eat any breakfast? :3 💗

Sharky: ……..

Kristy: Well?

Sharky: Does a star cola count as breakfast? I mean it's like 140 calories a can, that's sustainable right?

Kristy: Nope and nope! Alrighty, gotchas, that's all i needed to know.

Sharky: …..? Huh?

Kristy: Lol, i'm gonna make some breakfast for us both! :3 I wanna try and make some sausage egg biscuits sandwich things! (Idk what they're called lmao…But they seem simple and easy and quick and tasty!!! So…😋)

Sharky: …..Can i maybe know the calorie contents or?

Kristy: …You were literally just asking me if a soda counted as breakfast so i have a feeling if i tell you the answer to that (even if i did math it out while making it)That you'd just use that answer as an excuse to skip out on food whenever you need it…Mmmm, so no lmao.

Sharky: …Please?

Kristy: Nope! 💗They're little breakfast sandwiches with egg and cheese and sausage on them, i promise you you'll be ok ya derp.

Kristy:(sends pictures of the sandwiches)Also look how tasty they look!!! You really wanna miss out on this??? And me making it too????

Sharky: …Ok, ok, you're right, those do look really good heh…That cheese is making me hungry just looking at it…

Sharky: Does Amber have any bacon prepped downstairs?

Kristy: No, why? You want some?

Sharky: Hehhhhh, yeah, maybe…

Sharky: Here, guess i'll come downstairs, i can help ya. Maybe i can help make something and contribute a little bit ey? Might have some pancakr mix down there…

Kristy: MAKING BREAKFAST AS A COUPLE, HELL YEAH!!!!! 💗💗💗 ----------- Here's one with Max and Kristy both getting on Sharky's ass about his self neglect issues. Also cuz text, Max's text is purposefully shitty (cuz i imagine Max gives 0 shits about spellcheck during casual convo and whatnot lol...His friends know what he's going off about soooooooo) --- Kristy: Ey, I'm hungry, you guys want pizza? I wanna get pizza

Max: Fuk yesssssssssssssssssss, god, plz, im starving, fuckin garbo day, plz, i wanttttttttttt

Sharky: ………Eh…

Kristy: What kind you guys want? :3 Thinkin bout a half hamburger and half peperoni with extra cheese for me…

Max: ?

(few seconds pass)

Max: Sharky you fuck, what's "Eh" mean?

Sharky: It means eh, means i'm good. You guys enjoy though…

Kristy: Yknow, i don't think i've seen you eat today… :/

Max: He hasn't

Max: Dumbass, what pizza you want?

Sharky: None, i'm fine 👌

Kristy: Dude, cmon…

Max: finna beat yo ass, what pizza do you want?

Max: This is not me asking, this is a threat, this is a promise.

Max: I will physically come over there, back to the fucking hotel room, i will grab a pillow and i will beat your fucking ass, fuckin, tired of you doing this stupid shit to yourself every few days.

Sharky: Damn, nice…Sounds good to me.

Kristy: Dude, seriously, please… :c I don't want you being hungry all night, you have to be at this point with all the crap we've been doing today…

Sharky: …………I mean……….Eh, who cares? Why does it matter? Like…It doesn't…Just lemme chill, i'm good…

Max: Im so tired of this bullshit…

Max: WHAT

Max: PIZZA

Max: DO

Max: YOU

Max: WANT?

Sharky: I fucking told you, i don't, what's so fucking hard to get here? Why aren't you listening?

Kristy: …………Wait, do you mean you want something else to eat? I can google other places if your tired of pizza, i don't want you feeling forced to eat something you don't want to… :c

Sharky: No, enjoy your pizza, idc, i just don't want any.

Sharky: I don't want any other food either, i'm good. I just wanna chill and sleep in a bit… Max: I swear to fuck

Max: Just order him some hamburger or cheese or something, fuckin, i'm tired, im not let him keep doin this crap…

Sharky: Why tf you being so aggressive?

Max: CUZ I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU AND I DON'T LIKE SEEING YOU DO THIS SHIT, YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED DOING THIS, DEMONS ARE NOT GOING TO CARE IF YOU ARE TIRED, THEY WILL SLAUGHTER YOU AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN TO MY FUCKING BROTHER YOU FUCK

Kristy: What kind do you want Max? :3 I'm writing all this down rq…

Sharky: I said i don't fucking want one!!!!

Max: Cry about it bitch, you're getting free food and you're gonna fucking enjoy it

Max: Uhhhhhhh, idk actually, depends, where you getting it from?

Kristy: (gives link) found a local place, looks really good…I'm gonna get cheese garlic bread too :3

Max: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…Ehhhh, i dunno, fuck it, surprise me lol

Sharky has left the group

Max has added Sharky to the group

Max: Not so fast bitch

Sharky: I DON'T FUCKING WANT ANY, GOD, CAN YOU JUST LISTEN??? FOR ONCE???

Max: No 💜

Sharky: I fucking…God, i hate this stupid ass shit, fucking, i don't want it, don't waste your cash, don't waste your time, i don't want to eat

Kristy: You need to tho dude, seriously…

Max: Fuck you, you're gonna enjoy this goddamn pizza you shithead 💜

Sharky: ……………I'm so tired of this…

Max: Imagine how tired we are having to fucking worry about you doing this dumb shit every 3 or 4 days…

Kristy: Dude, seriously, this pizza looks really delicious, you should try some! It's a little family owned shop, means it's gotta be good…

Sharky: No

Kristy: (sends link again) Plz at least look at the pics, it all looks so hot and cheesy and fresh ~(^*^)~ I bet you'd love it if you tried it!!!

Sharky: ……………………………………Please stop…Fuck, please, you both are making me feel bad…

Max: Do not stop Kris, keep going, we're breaking him >:) Kristy: Uhmmmm, ik you like cheese bread Sharky, i bet you'd REALLY like garlic cheese bread :3

Sharky: Please stop, please…

Max: Whats wrong? Starting to want it?

Kristy: Oooooo! They have dipping sauces too! I'm gonna get extra marinara! :3

Sharky: god

Max: Heyyyyy, ooooo, cheesesticks, think we can get those Kris?

Kristy: Hell yes!!! Ahhhh, that really sounds good

Sharky: ………………..

Max: Gonna get some ranch dipping sauce cuz fuck it lol

Max: Can we get drinks too? Ain't shit up there in the hotel room…

Kristy: Yee! What do you want to drink? :3

Max: Defs a liter soda….or………..3 lol

Kristy: ………For just you or?

Max: lmao yes ofc

Sharky: ………………………………….

Kristy: Do you want something to drink Sharky? :3

Max: Well Sharky we're waiting…

Sharky: …..canihavegarliccheesebreadtoo?

Max: WE FUCKIGN GOT HIM!!!!!

Kristy: Wait, you serious?! :0

Sharky: ……….Yeah…ig…

Kristy: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Dude, i'm so happy!!!!!

Max: You're gonna have tasty food and your gonna like it

Sharky: ………….imgonnafeelsoshittyafterthis, ialreadyfeelsofatrightnowandihateit……

Kristy: Dude, you don't have to feel bad like that… :/

Max: Who fuckin cares if your fat? I want you to fucking survive, literally doesn't matter

Max: is a diff body type and literally everything in media that is designed to make you feel bad about being fat is cuz they wanna make cash off your suffering so fuck em, eat, be fat, be happy, stay alive, fuck the media

Sharky: Neither of you get it, ugh…

Kristy: Sharky, what else do you want? :3

Sharky: ………………I dunno, head hurts…

Kristy: Do you need me to get you meds? :c

Sharky: ……………No, just…Ig i do need to eat…Guess i am starving…

Sharky: Ig…Yeah, hamburger pizza sounds good, with cheese bread, maybe ig a bottled drink or 2 for me but no liter crap… -------- Solo Max and Sharky one cuz yeah, sure lol --- Max: So do you gott he stuff?

Sharky: uhhhh, yeah, i do…

Max: mighf i seeeeeeee?uwu?

Sharky: ehhhhh

Sharky: That's require me like…Taking a picture of myself and like…I'd rather spare you that, ehhhh…

Max: bruh lmao

Max: doooooooo it cmon lol

Sharky: I don't want to, i hate how i look right now ok?

Max: wut is it you hate?

Sharky: You know what…

Max: you mean your body and stomach that are perfectyl fine? Is that it?

Sharky: Can we just…Leave it or???

Max: bruh, lol, you look fineeeee!!!!!

Max: You are valid

Max: Dare i say beautiful even?

Max: just as yourself, i promise ya…

Sharky: ……..

Max: Cmon, seriously, i promise you look fine…

Sharky: …….I…I dunno, i just…

Sharky: Goddamnit, fine…

Sharky:(posts a pic of him with the supplies and shit, him obviously hesitant in photo to actually take the photo)….Here, ffs…

Max: damn, dude, you look really nice, you seriously insecure when you look like that???

Sharky: Considering my fucking ugly body and gut and face, yes. Mmhmmm, you nailed it.

Max: lol, bruh, you look fuckin fine, i promise

Max: king, hey king, you dropped this👑

Max: Valid qs fuck and always will be and i will fight you every fuckin time

Sharky: Max, seriously, how can you think i look fine like this????

Max: Because i know why you think the things you do and those reasons are bs

Max: You legit hurt yourselc over how you look, i hate seeing that

Max: I'd much rather see you embrace yourself as ya are cuz you look perfectly fune and great and i wouldn't fuckin lie to you lmaooooo ------------------------------- Yeah, Max is one of those friends who's agressive with how much they care about you...Like...Max just is like that lololol Like these are the 2 energy's lol Kristy:

And then Max lololol, like this is it right here Just like...I do not want Max to come off as mean cuz he's being like "you need to eat dumbass, ima hit you with this pillow!!!" Cuz...That's just like Max being Max lol (If you get what i mean, like that's how Sharky and Max's friendship/brotherhood kinda is with each other) Also yeah, Sharky and Max are best friends but they also see each other as brothers lol, like adoptive brothers.

Abbott Rewatch (1.02 — Light Bulb)

a little late, but here are some thoughts! @abbottrewatch

barb fawning over the news anchor lol “i saw him at the chipotle”

okay new hair @ ava and barb

melissa’s cheetah top i’m sorry i don’t like it

janine encouraging tariq’s awful raps is so janine of her

will never get over janine giving tariq her breakfast sandwich. sir, get your own.

mr. johnson going fishing and no one saying a word or wondering where he is

THE BRANZINO

“I’m gonna look cuter than her too” so real

barb criticizing janine’s outfits will never get old

“she loves the shining” “it’s a classic”

every ep ever — ava: flirts / gregory: 👀

barb catching gregory staring at janine 😭

gregory sitting in that little ass chair 💀 sir you could have literally sat on top of the desk

“your little nissan sandwich” barb is so funny I CAN’T

janie “young and spritley” teagues; she’s so cute but please ma’am spare us

THE END TIMES 😭 ava PLEASE

ava shaking the ladder as if janine isn’t literally shaking in her boots

barb doing ava’s job for basically the entire ep

“OH JESUS MY BRANZINO”

janine: am i doing it??? *does not take a single step*

tariq is really a man child

“ladders seem very tricky for you” too soon gregory, too soon

“the lunch ladies don’t even like you” melissa give janine a break she already feels bad enough

gregory is so awkward i love him

barb “suddenly” remembering that amber gets her nails done every two weeks like her

jacob and janine knowing absolutely nothing about electrical work

barb is such a good wingwoman

gregory is so non confrontational but we already knew that

$50 extra for rhinestones?!!

janine why are you even trying to fix this?!!! please relax

jacob “it was a chance to help a strong black woman” hill

melissa’s first words to janine being “did you eat” is so wholesome idc

“do i have your consent to slap you?!!”

“let me back my tasty ass up” HA

“MY BRANZINO” y’all i’m cracking up this lady is not playing about her damn fish

her knocking barb into the wall is so funny cause ma’am it’s not that serious

the kids having the time of their life at the makeshift water park

“as melissa would say, snitches get stitches”

barb getting melissa to back down with just one look?? they’re married your honor

PANERA’S BOX; now melissa…

yes janine tell that man to get his ass in gear!!!

janine and gregory’s interactions are my fav they’re so funny and sweet and awkward

“people at at normal times… like 4” lol yes, yes they do

gregory fixing the picture… love that

the christening of the after school crew how cute

mr. johnson and his boyz II men lighting system

lol the singing and ava mocking amber at the end

+*doing this all at once bc I can't sleep*+

Just gonna complete this here and now because I've got fuck all better to do

I don't really know what constitutes 'stats' because there's a lot of crossovers with the other questions by my definition, but anyways. I'm 125lbs at the moment, my highest I weighed was around 140lbs and the lowest weight I've ever been was 118lbs back in March.

I'm 5"4 which is 163cm. I don't really like my height, it doesn't suit me, I feel like I should either be super tall or super short.

Don't really have a favourite thinspo, I just mindlessly browse.

I don't really have any fears about weight loss. I used to worry about the infertility that could come with it but I've grown to despise children.

I want to lose weight because I'm ugly as fuck and may as well be skinny.

I go through phases, typically over the span of about a month, though I haven't really properly relapsed with the restriction recently; I lose my appetite for about a week so I eat a lot less, I have a normal appetite for about 2 weeks, then I binge for about a week. Idk why I binge.

My mother knows that I restrict because my school councillor told her, but I think she thinks its just another method of self harm for me. She hates when I try to lose weight, because the rest of my family are very obese so they think I'm already very thin.

Don't have a workout routine, if I'm looking to burn some easy calories I either do bed workouts, apartment friendly HIIT workouts or I skip; it literally burns like 200 calories if you skip at a decent rate for 15 minutes it's insane.

Shockingly not, I've only ever had positive comments about my body, because my weight is distributed mainly to my ass and boobs, but I still hate it.

The hardest thing I'm giving up is definitely yoghurt and granola.

Don't have one.

I used to go flat out starvation to lose weight, but right now I'm eating around 1000 calories and exercising, mainly because I have to eat breakfast and dinner or else my mother will catch onto my relapse.

It's not very healthy but it's not too extreme, I high res usually because people don't tend to notice.

I use l o s e r t o w n to calculate how long my weight loss should take on average. My UGW at the moment is 108lbs, and so I should reach that in around 2 months, give or take.

I was vegetarian for about a year when I was 13/14, and my weight absolutely skyrocketed, so I completely refuse to go vegetarian or vegan again.

When I was 11 and found out that 'if you have an eating disorder, you become skinny', and so I was determined to give myself an eating disorder, so I would be super skinny and everyone would like me. Halfway there, 11 year old me.

I strongly believe that eating disorders are one of the only psychiatric disorders that can be accurately self diagnosed. CAMHS has been literally no help to me at all, have given me no support or evaluation besides a single phone call 6 months ago, so I'm taking it into my own hands, as it gets to a certain point where I'm doing everything in the book to try and lose weight, there's something wrong.

Scotch eggs. Such a random food but they trigger binges every single time I eat them, but they're so incredibly tasty.

10th August, my birthday. Before then, the last time I ate fast food was a year before on my birthday.

I don't follow diets often currently, but previously my go-to diet was the OMAD diet. I was doing it unintentionally periodically for about a year before I found out it was an actual thing.

UK sizing now, my jeans are a size 10/12, I don't know my shirt sizing because I wear baggy jumpers usually but I think I'm an S/XS in shirts?

Lowest weight was 118lbs, I gained it back because I was absolutely ravenous and couldn't be fucked continuing with the E.D shit because I had to prep for my GCSE's. Education isn't compulsory for me anymore at A-level though so I'm not really bothered if my eating affects my grades, as I can just drop out and start again next year or learn a trade.

Yes, it influences most people with e.d's I think even subconciously, hence the prevalence of eating disorders has risen insanely as the media expands.

Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia honestly get a bad rep; it's mainly just people who are pro-ana/mia for themselves, as a solid 99% of people I see aren't encouraging people who want to recover, or don't actively already have e.d's.

Yes, it was awful. I can purge decently well now but I almost always avoid it and just overexercise and restrict because it absolutely murders my throat

Just being skinnier. Not even people noticing, just feeling a bit more confident in my own skin.

I don't. If I'm fasting, I avoid food at all costs. If I have to eat, I will eat, and then exercise like fuck later on.

Kinda; I don't really want toothpick legs, but I hate the amount of fat that I hold on my thighs.

It sounds mad considering I have an eating disorder, but I really struggle to categorise people by their attractiveness. Even romantically, I used to date people who I found funny and interesting as opposed someone who was super conventionally attractive. My definition of beauty is literally everyone other than me.

10 facts about me:

I study law, criminology, psychology and english literature

I love reading a lot

I overthink and overanalyse things

I clean a lot when I get stressed, as it keeps me occupied.

I can play guitar pretty ok, I'm decently musically talented

I enjoy watching south park, the walking dead and documentaries.

I own far too many blankets; the cost of living crisis will not affect my warmth.

The concept of becoming an adult and needing to do adult things like filling out forms or speaking to people makes me extremely anxious, even more so now as I'm nearing adulthood.

I have 5 pet cats :)

I have been told that I'm extremely boring, and have the personality of an old person. They're not lying though, I love knitting, baking, doing sudoku's, watching documentaries and sitting indoors.

You're welcome, I'm sure that reading through this entire post was absolutely riveting, enthralling, a life changing experience.

c.AU 16

ech

-Tuesday, November 16th- Arsé-kun: *It's the next morning! Good morning to everyone! Bedrawt is already playing music.* Sheepy: *Corneus is sleeping at a nearby table with paperwork scattered in front of him. He's sleeping through the music* Sheepy: Aru: Good morning... ummm... Arsé-kun: Bedr: Good morning!! Sheepy: Aru: Is something special happening? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Nope! I just like to get practice in early! Sheepy: Aru: You're a musician? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Bedr: If you ever have a request, don't hesitate! Hesitating leads to forgetting! Arsé-kun: *Very brief accusatory glance towards Corneus.* Sheepy: Aru: Request....? But won't that wake him? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Oh, don't worry about him! I could blare a tuba right next to him and he wouldn't move! Sheepy: Aru: Scary... Arsé-kun: Bedr: Kay's already up, so feel free to bug him for breakfast. I'm sure he won't mind! Sheepy: Aru: Isn't that a lot to leave on just Kay? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Oh, everyone else can cook too, Kay's just the only one I saw so far. Arsé-kun: Bedr: Well. Except Griflet, I'm pretty sure. Sheepy: Aru: He can't cook. Arsé-kun: Bedr: At least he's grown past "Eat hot rock and bite". Sheepy: Grif:....Rocks are tasty. Arsé-kun: *Bedr slightly pulls his hands closer to himself on seeing Grif* Arsé-kun: Bedr: .... Did you at least outgrow the biting? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Sheepy: Grif: I have not bitten anyone in a while. Arsé-kun: Bedr: *phewwww* Sheepy: Grif:??? Sheepy: Grif: Are you afraid of teeth? Arsé-kun: Bedr: I'm afraid of you biting me again! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: Humans are very cowardly... Arsé-kun: *Bedr just goes back to playing music. Nope. Not having this conversation. (Requires a higher bond level!)* Sheepy: Grif: Or maybe it's just you...? The other one does not seem afraid of me... Arsé-kun: *What part of "Requires a higher bond level!" did you not understand, buddy?* Sheepy: *Corneus finally stirs. He's waking up!* Arsé-kun: Bedr: Good morning, hun! It's a bit early for you, hmm? Sheepy: Corneus: *mumbling* Arsé-kun: Bedr: You can't be doing this. You have work tomorrow. Sheepy: Corneus:....Ugh. My back... Arsé-kun: Bedr: That, too! I don't mind you sleeping in here, but we have a perfectly good sofa! Sheepy: Corneus:......? *still adjusting to being awake* Sheepy: Corneus:.......Isn't it late for you? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Hun, it's ten am. Sheepy: Corneus: ....Ten? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Ten! Sheepy: Corneus: I don't remember falling asleep... Arsé-kun: Bedr: Do you ever? Sheepy: Corneus: Of course. Arsé-kun: Bedr: No you don't, liar! Sheepy: Corneus: *He looks embarrassed* .......I usually remember making the decision to sleep. Arsé-kun: Bedr: I'm gonna start taking you to bed with me!! Sheepy: Corneus: That seems better than waking up with back pain... Sheepy: Corneus: Have you had breakfast already? Arsé-kun: Bedr: I have! Sheepy: Corneus: I was hoping to wake up early enough to make you some.. Arsé-kun: Bedr: We always have tomorrow! Sheepy: Corneus: I go back to work tomorrow, I think... ... I should be awake in time for breakfast tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Bedr: I'm holding you to that! Sheepy: Corneus: I'll try. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he leans out of the kitchen. He found an apron! Good for him!* Sheepy: Corneus: Ah, good morning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, you're alive? What a first. Arsé-kun: Kay: If one of you shitters don't give me a damn suggestion, I'm leaving y'all to do it. Sheepy: Corneus:....... Sheepy: Grif: Pancakes........ Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure. Get your ass in here. You got hands, you can help. Sheepy: Grif: I'll do my best. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shit, didn't see you there, Aru. You too! You're not spared from kitchen duty! Sheepy: Aru: Don't worry, I'll help! Arsé-kun: Kay: The secondary mission is hard banning Lucan from working! Not letting his stupid sick ass touch anything! He'll goddamn explode. Sheepy: Aru: He's sick again? Arsé-kun: Kay: Easier to assume he is than isn't! Arsé-kun: Kay: Schrodinger's stupid sick idiot. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes back in and starts scrounging around for ingredients* Sheepy: Grif: What are you looking for? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ingredient Sheepy: Grif: What ingredients? Arsé-kun: Kay: These ones. *the ones he dumped on the counter* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: *Kay starts making pancake! He delegates mixing to Grif and his big fucking muscles. Here, you can do this, can't you?* Sheepy: *Grif does his best!* Arsé-kun: Kay: And if you eat out of the damn bowl, you're not getting any when they're done! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm trusting you here! Sheepy: Grif:....So sad. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you wait, you'll get pancakes. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Kay turns to start the stove up. The burner proceeds to do the "rapid clicking but not turn on" thing. Kay stares at it.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Arsé-kun: *Kay lights his palm and reaches on to manually light the stupid thing. This works! Kay pulls back quickly and doesn't burn himself.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is proud of himself!* Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: I did. Sheepy: Grif: Do you feel pain? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you're improving... but don't overexert yourself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I learned that lesson. But how can I know when I'm low so I don't hurt myself? Sheepy: Grif: That's true... Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, a second use shouldn't bottom me out. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... but be careful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Aru, Aru, I figured out a thing! Sheepy: Aru: Congratulations, Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, did you see it? Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Your fire, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah! It isn't anything else, but it's something! Sheepy: Aru: Yeah! Arsé-kun: *Kay remembers he was DOING SOMETHING, and starts some pancakes* Sheepy: *Lucan enters. He must help! He's bored* Arsé-kun: *Kay turns and scrutinizes him* Sheepy: Lucan: Good morning. *There's some blood om his facemask. It's one of those days* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You ain't doin' shit. Sit your ass down. Sheepy: Lucan: Ahaha, I just want to help. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not goddamn blind. If you wanna help, set up the silverware. That's all I'm letting you do. Sheepy: Lucan: How cruel! Arsé-kun: Kay: I can SEE blood on your mask, idiot! Sheepy: Lucan: Ahh... Too bad. Arsé-kun: *How does Lucan blood not bother Kay? Easy! It's inherent to Lucan! Lucan mouth blood is exempt.* Sheepy: *Lucan does set up the silverware, though.* Arsé-kun: *Kay starts serving pancakes. Come get ya food, shitters* Sheepy: *Arturia is already there to eat.* Arsé-kun: Kay: When did you show up? Did you fucking Bethesda through the floor? Sheepy: Arturia: While you were cooking. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't believe my sister can hack. What a hack. Sheepy: Arturia: I didn't do that! Arsé-kun: Kay: *grinning* How can I be sure? I didn't see you. Sheepy: Arturia: Maybe you should be more aware of your surroundings. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let me just be able to see the hallway while I'm facing the stove. Arsé-kun: *Kay turns and gives Arturia a flat look* Sheepy: Arturia: Hmmm... So you didn't look, yet you doubt me entering by normal means.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, I can't call you a hack otherwise, can I? Sheepy: Lucan: Ahaha... I never saw her enter either. Sheepy: Arturia:...You were looking right at me. Arsé-kun: *Fou arrives. This is unfortunate.* Sheepy: Lucan: The Fou wrangler is yet to arrive..!! Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't believe Bedivere is fucking dead. He must be trapped under dead weight. Sheepy: Lucan: When is that man going to wake up? Arsé-kun: Kay: If it ain't noon, he ain't getting up. Sheepy: Lucan: And Bedi is such an early riser... Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou fou fo! Fou! Sheepy: Lucan: If you eat our food, Kay will use you in a stew. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll fuckin' do it, too. Arsé-kun: *Artair drags himself in, rubbing his eyes and nearly crashing into the doorframe/wall/what do I call this. If those dark circles were any bigger he'd be charged for extra luggage.* Arsé-kun: *Kay... Does not make fun of him. For once. Shocking, I know* Arsé-kun: *kay didn't bully this time, but i sure do* Sheepy: Arturia: Did you not sleep last night, Artair? Arsé-kun: Artair: Maybe an hour or two at most. Sheepy: Arturia: That's unlike you... Sheepy: Bedi: *He appears behind Artair. Five Nights at Bedi's* Good morning, everyone. ...Although it is a struggle to call it that. Arsé-kun: *Artair jumps* Sheepy: Bedi: What is it? A bug? Arsé-kun: Artair: Don't do that, please... Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... Arsé-kun: Kay: Because Merlin nearly crushed you again? Sheepy: Bedi:....So much of the day has been lost. Four hours of it, to be precise. Sheepy: Bedi: I wonder if Dad experiences the same thing...? Arsé-kun: Kay: I heard him chewing out Pops about sleeping in earlier. Sheepy: Corneus: ...He doesn't. Arsé-kun: *A mop enters scene. Merlin is ALIVE, apparently!* Sheepy: Bedi: Good morning, Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mmmornin'. Who cooked? Sheepy: Lucan: Kay, because I have been banned from doimg so. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck yeah you were, bloodmask lookin' shit. Sheepy: Lucan: A culinary student, banned from cooking... Arsé-kun: Kay: And a law student who disobeys the law of "STOP OVERWORKING YOURSELF IDIOT". Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahaha! Of course! Arsé-kun: Kay: Can I get a goddamn mirror installed so I can see you fuckers enter the room when I'm at the stove?? I don't wanna get five nights at freddied while I'm cooking. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... Arsé-kun: Kay: Not you. You'll find a way to give me a stroke anyway. Sheepy: Lucan: Bedi's so quiet usually, and je always approaches from behind... Arsé-kun: Bedr: *five nights at fr* It's very startling! Arsé-kun: Kay: JESUS CHRIST. Sheepy: Bedi: Good morning, Dad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Two fucking mirrors! Arsé-kun: Bedr: Good morning, kids! Everyone's here, hm? That's rare! Sheepy: Bedi: Although, I have been awake for four hours... Arsé-kun: *Guilty Merlin Expression.png* Sheepy: Bedi: No need to feel guilty! You can't control your sleeping habits easily. Sheepy: Bedi: Dad probably deals with the same thing, so it's normal. Sheepy: Corneus: Like I said, he doesn't... Arsé-kun: *Bedrawt just smiles but doesn't say anything about it* Sheepy: Aru: Kay made pancakes for us! Sheepy: Corneus:...Thank you, Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Finally, someone decent in here! You're welcome! Sheepy: Aru: I'm not decent...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Other than you!! Sheepy: Aru: I'm glad I'm decent! Arsé-kun: Kay: I could breathe and you'd probably thank me for it. Sheepy: Corneus: It is important to strive for being more than just decent. Sheepy: Aru: Of course I would! Sheepy: Aru: I would thank Arturia and Artair for the same thing, too. Sheepy: Aru: But you're the one who makes me worry the most. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... We're not discussing this first thing in the morning. Sheepy: *Grif is not listening to any of this. He's eating.* Arsé-kun: *That explains the lack of comments from his direction* Sheepy: Lucan: It looks like you've improved, Kay! Arsé-kun: *Kay appreciates the approval!* Sheepy: Lucan: Now, if only it tasted good... I expect you to work on that area... Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey! Only you seem to have that problem! Sheepy: Lucan:....Ahahahaha, just kidding. I can't taste it... Sheepy: Arturia: Maybe he has no sense of taste? It's good. Sheepy: Lucan: Tastes like a penny! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's him. Ignore him. Sheepy: Lucan: How cruel... I was kidding, you know. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cruel? No, cruel is telling our parents you got a girlfriend and then not explaining shit. Sheepy: Lucan: What's there to explain? Arsé-kun: Bedr: You did? That's great to hear! When do we get to meet her? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Wait, you told me this already! The question still stands! Sheepy: Lucan: I can ask her! Sheepy: Lucan: Should I? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Only if you want us in the same house. I'll kick her ass. I'll kick my own ass! Sheepy: Lucan: How else is she supposed to meet them, then? Sheepy: Lucan: I'd rather not go out right now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: By kicking my ass, clearly. Sheepy: Lucan: I can't do that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure you can. Just let me blow myself up a couple times first. Arsé-kun: *For all intents and purposes, Merlin is joking* Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahaha! Go ahead! But clean up after yourself! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, let me clean up after myself when I'm dead on the floor, family guy style. Sheepy: Lucan: Well... you have magic. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh yeah! How could I forget! Sheepy: Lucan: Anyway, I met her at the hospital. Arsé-kun: Kay: *teasing* 'Cause he didn't get out much. Sheepy: Lucan: And? When will you introduce them to your boyfriend, Kay? Ah, wait... You already have! Ahahaha-- *He covers his mouth with his arm and coughs a few times.* Arsé-kun: *Kay turns 5 shades redder* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey!! You prick! You told them about Marin already, I wasn't gonna bring that up yet!!!! Arsé-kun: *Bedr's head swivels from Lucan to Kay. Explain? Explain?* Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahahahaha! Sheepy: Corneus:...You can wait until you're ready. I won't push you. Arsé-kun: *Kay puts his face in his hands. Flustered* Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: *Merlin points from Kay to Grif and back a few times, raising an eyebrow and looking at Corneus and Bedrawt. Are you picking up what he is putting down?* Sheepy: Grif: Why are you pointing at me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you not? Arsé-kun: Kay: *slightly muffled by his own hands* dating. Sheepy: Grif: Everyone is dating... every second. Every minute... Arsé-kun: *Kay picks his head up slightly to give Grif a Look* Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Romantic dating, Griffy. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Sheepy: Grif:.....*He covers his face with his hands* ........... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Bedr: Ah, I see where he got that from now! Sheepy: Grif:.....It's true. Arsé-kun: Bedr: Congrats! Sheepy: Grif: ...? Hmmm... I wasn't expecting that... Sheepy: Grif: I was under the assumption you disliked me... Hmm... Arsé-kun: Bedr: If Kay trusts you, then that's enough for me. Arsé-kun: *In the background, Kay has stuck the spare pancakes into the microwave. Waits a few moments. Pulls out the now empty plate. Offering recieved* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Is that so... I will work hard to become on better terms with you. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you'd said "Better terms with Me" I would have smacked you with the dish towel. Sheepy: Grif: I almost did. Arsé-kun: Kay: You almost got smacked. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... I don't want to be smacked... Arsé-kun: *Kay very lightly hits him with the towel. 0 damage* Sheepy: Grif: Zero... Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19 Arsé-kun: *Artair wants to speak up but he's too polite to just interrupt,* Sheepy: Arturia: Artair? Do you have input? Arsé-kun: Artair: I do... Griflet, did that actually happen last night? Sheepy: Grif: It did. Arsé-kun: Artair: ....... Sheepy: Grif: *stare* Arsé-kun: Artair: ...... *artair shys away because he's being stared at too much* Sheepy: Grif: I will find a solution. Worry not. Arsé-kun: Bedr: Do I want to ask? Sheepy: Grif: It is up to you to decide that. Arsé-kun: Artair: I'd like the extra help with it..... But I don't want everyone else to worry too much about it... Sheepy: Grif: It is worrying because we care. Arsé-kun: Artair: Would it endanger anyone else..? Arsé-kun: Artair: If they also knew? Sheepy: Grif: It already does. I think. Arsé-kun: Artair: *fear* Sheepy: Grif: So it makes no difference. Probably. Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually, yeah, that does make it worse! Sheepy: Grif: Does it? Arsé-kun: Kay: That means if we aren't really fast, literally everyone's fucked. Doesn't that seem like a problem to you? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... That's a good point. Arsé-kun: Bedr: :> ??? Sheepy: Grif: Are you afraid of squid? Arsé-kun: Artair: I'm going to be at this rate... Sheepy: Grif: We'll fix it. Worry not. Arsé-kun: Artair: Please do. Sheepy: Grif:...Somehow. I don't know how to yet. Sheepy: Grif: That's the next step. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hate to suggest this, but again--- We go buy an offering for yellow bastard. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... at Luvmart. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's the best we've got and completely mundane. Sheepy: Grif: Let's buy a minion. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe two. Sheepy: Grif: Two? I can afford that if one is under $100. Arsé-kun: Bedr: Are you three going to explain yourselves at all? Arsé-kun: Artair: um. Sheepy: Grif: He's been marked by Cthulhu. Sheepy: Corneus: ? Arsé-kun: Bedr: ...... Sheepy: Corneus: *He looks to Bedrawt* Arsé-kun: Bedr: Bad. Really bad. Sheepy: Corneus: It's a squid...? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Essentially. Sheepy: Corneus: Then where is the risk? Arsé-kun: Bedr: ... I'll explain. Let me go get my laptop. Sheepy: Corneus: Alright... Arsé-kun: *Bedr looks towards Kay and Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Bedr: There won't be much I can do about this, but if I can help in any way, don't be afraid to ask. Arsé-kun: Bedr: You too, Artair. Sheepy: Grif: ? Help? Arsé-kun: Bedr: Just trying to sound supportive. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Artair has dozed off in his seat. His lack of sleep caught up to him, apparently* Sheepy: Bedi: Should we return hom to his room? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, probably. Let's stick by him in case anythin' happens. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to get his stuff* Sheepy: *Grif prepares himself.* Arsé-kun: *The Boys finish preparing for a Shopping Trip* Sheepy: Grif: Let's go. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. Dads, I'm taking the car again. Sheepy: Corneus: Drive safely. Arsé-kun: Kay: Of course. Sheepy: Corneus: And don't forget to check around it, first. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yup. C'mon, Grif, I'll drive slower for you this time. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you... Arsé-kun: *Okay, to the van! Since it's only Kay and Grif this time, Kay plugs his phone in and puts music on!* Sheepy: *They arrive at Luvmart! Grif is less carsick than before but stlll miserable* Sheepy: Grif: Ugh....... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry... Maybe don't look down so much? I don't know. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like vans... I would rather just go on foot... Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't make that trip. It's way too far. Sheepy: Grif: Ughhhh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh... You wanna stay at the van? Sheepy: Grif: No. I want to be the one to buy the gift for Uncle. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're gonna be that stubborn? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine. Arsé-kun: *Kay sits down and wonders if motion sickness meds will work on Grif* Arsé-kun: *Today, Kay's search history contains things such as "can dragons use human medication". The answer was a hard maybe.* Sheepy: Grif: I can go. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, okay, I was looking things up. I'll have to ask your dad later. Arsé-kun: *Kay waits a moment for orb input. No orb input.* Sheepy: *Grif quickly gets lost* Arsé-kun: *Kay is also lost, but he at least kind of knows what they're looking for.* Sheepy: Grif: Where can I find Minions...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Bud, if I knew, I'd tell you. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: *It takes them about twelve extra minutes to actually find the plushie aisle. One of them* Sheepy: Grif: *He looks for Minions* Arsé-kun: *There's one Fucking Big One left!* Sheepy: *Grif picks up the big Minion* Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at it. God. Why.* Sheepy: Grif: It's the perfect gift for Uncle. Sheepy: Grif: Do you fear its gaze? Arsé-kun: Kay: I fear paying for it. Sheepy: Grif: I have the money. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you insist! Sheepy: Grif: It's a bribe. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where should we even summon the bastard? Not at the damn house, that's for sure. Sheepy: Grif: Uhhhh....... Arsé-kun: Kay: The parking lot isn't an option. Sheepy: Grif: The park. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hmmm. Maybe? Sheepy: Grif: Art museum? Arsé-kun: Kay: Always a good one, but that's pretty far now. Sheepy: Grif: True... Arsé-kun: Kay: And I'm not gonna drive Pops' van off path. That's how I wreck the van. Sheepy: Grif: Backyard? Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't want that yellow fuck having our address. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm...... Sheepy: Grif: We can figure this out later. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd rather have an idea before I start driving. Sheepy: Grif: Uhhh.... Sheepy: Grif:.......... Sheepy: Jauf: Why not do it at the home of someone you hate? Arsé-kun: *Kay jumps* Arsé-kun: Kay: Could you warn a guy before you come out of nowhere?? Sheepy: Jauf: I didn't come out of nowhere. I've been here. And anyway... Sheepy: Jauf: It's like knowing that someone is after your head so you ask someone to trade rooms with you for the night. Sheepy: Jauf: Cai did something pretty similar with Sir Lancelot... Or perhaps Sir Lancelot did it with him? Anyway, Sir Lancelot stole poor Cai's armor and left Cai with his own. Sir Lancelot had to fight off many of Cai's enemies on the way back to Camelot, while Cai rode home unbothered due to the respect people held for Sir Lancelot. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds like they had fun. Sheepy: Jauf:....But can you imagine how ridiculous Cai must've looked?! The two were entirely different heights, and Sir Lancelot's armor was a work of art in comparison to Cai's! Imagine that! I can't think of anything that would fit him less! Ahahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Kay: If people fell for it, who cares? Sheepy: Jauf: Oh, yes, some people fell for it. But if I were there... Sheepy: Jauf:...I'd recognize Cai no matter whose armor he was wearing. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... What if we do it in front of Merlin's parent's house? Sheepy: Jauf: I suppose it could work. Sheepy: Jauf: He'd probably know it wasn't your home, but... Sheepy: Jauf: Does that matter? Arsé-kun: Kay: Pffff, no. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck them. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I can check out if we can find our way there. Sheepy: Grif: But I am lost.. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's at the front. We're not too far. Sheepy: Grif: I will follow your lead. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm just glad they finally installed a self-checkout so now I don't need to make awkward eye contact with a fuckin cashier as they ring up mega fucking minion ass. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't think I'd be prepared for that kind of judgment. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: I think I'd shrivel up and die. Sheepy: Grif: I usually face judgement in my day to day life. Arsé-kun: Kay: Most people don't eat rocks in public, my guy. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm.. Sheepy: Grif: I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, could be worse. You eating a rock would be the fourth weirdest thing in this damn store. Sheepy: Jauf: What are the other three? I must know. Arsé-kun: Kay: People just being fucking weird in public. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha... Sheepy: Jauf: I would say... Sheepy: Jauf: You're #3! Arsé-kun: Kay: ....? Arsé-kun: Kay: I was gonna bring up the store near campus had the dude who would dress like a vampire and stand around by the goddamn tomatoes, but okay. Sure. Sheepy: Jauf: Oh? Him? Sheepy: Jauf: I don't have any idea who he is! Arsé-kun: Kay: And I don't care to. Sheepy: Jauf: You're #3 for shopping with us. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll accept that. Sheepy: Grif: You never were invited... Arsé-kun: Kay: And ghosts can't get motion sickness medication, so the return rides gonna suck ass for him. Sheepy: Jauf: Is that so... Arsé-kun: Kay: Unless you figured out how to not goddamn be an idiot in the van? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, looking out the window is a start. Arsé-kun: Kay: You figured it out! Good job! *he claps semi-sarcastically* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmhmhm... Sheepy: Jauf: You enjoy insulting people, just like Cai... Arsé-kun: Kay: I may as well be related to the guy. I may as goddamn well be. Arsé-kun: *Kay enjoys putting a plastic bag over the minions head a little too much. He no longer needs to look at it's face. What a relief* Sheepy: Jauf: *stare* Arsé-kun: Kay: What the hell are you looking at? Sheepy: Jauf:.........*thinking* Sheepy: Jauf: I can see a resemblance! Arsé-kun: Kay: Terrible, awful, no good. Sheepy: Jauf: You both.... Sheepy: Jauf:......? ..... Arsé-kun: Kay: There's literally no way it's just coincidence. It's- Grif, give me the fuckin' cash- not, no way. Sheepy: *Grif gives him money* Sheepy: Jauf: You both... Hm... Arsé-kun: *Kay pays the machine and gives Grif back the change* Sheepy: Jauf:.....Now what did he look like, exactly...? Arsé-kun: Kay: A piece of shit drunkard, probably. Sheepy: Jauf:....Well, you probably both had facial hair! It was a popular look for the time, although a few of us never adopted the look. I can't imagine Sir Lancelot with facial hair. Arsé-kun: Kay: "Probably"? I didn't suddenly lose mine, did I? Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha, of course not. Sheepy: Jauf: I don't remember if he had it or not. He probably looked scruffy like you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bet Arthur knows. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... would he? It's been the same amount of time for both of us... Arsé-kun: Kay: Hm... No idea then. Arsé-kun: *They go back to the van. Kay puts the kart back because he isn't a goddamn animal.* Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm liking the idea of letting dickhead's parents deal with the fallout. Lets do it there. Fuck them. Sheepy: *Grif gets in the van!* Arsé-kun: *Kay waits for Jauf to fuckin do something* Sheepy: *Jauf gets in the van* Arsé-kun: *Kay drives to merlin's parents house. They ain't there. Thank fuck.* Sheepy: Jauf: Let's get staryed! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif. How long do you think it'll take for Hastur to show up? Sheepy: *Grif gets out of the van and holds up Stuart the Minion* Sheepy: Grif: Hastur. I have an offering for you. Arsé-kun: *Kay comes into the back and opens the door, so he can sit there* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hastur, you yellow bitch, we got a bribe for your ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Hastur: I should end this play right where it is. Keep my name out of your mouths. *there he is, across the yard.* Sheepy: Grif: Uncle. We need your help. Arsé-kun: Hastur: And annoying me will get that help, you believe? Sheepy: Grif: Cthulhu has marked one of my companions as his own. Arsé-kun: Hastur: .... Arsé-kun: Hastur: And this bribe is to make me play a part? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, his father figures are both artist types. Sheepy: Grif: It's a minion. Arsé-kun: Hastur: ..... Let me see this. Sheepy: *Grif hands him the minion* Arsé-kun: *At no point was Hastur described as crossing the yard. Hastur simply. Did. Anyway* Sheepy: Grif: I picked it out for you. Arsé-kun: Hastur: ....... Sheepy: Grif: .....? Arsé-kun: Hastur: ... I will break character and accept this once. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like it? Arsé-kun: Hastur: I do. I'll allow this. Have your father send me the information. I'll break this connection and nothing more. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you, Uncle. I'll ask him. Arsé-kun: Yog: Sending. I've had a fractal watching that button for hours. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Jauf: You really think ahead, my friend! Arsé-kun: Yog: I wouldn't be able to operate if I couldn't. Sheepy: Jauf: That's true! Most of the knights I knew needed to learn that skill! Arsé-kun: Kay: Most anything needs that skill. Sheepy: Jauf: True..... Arsé-kun: *Hastur has vanished, off to live a life of crime in Cthulhu's direction* Sheepy: Grif: I hope it works out. Arsé-kun: Yog: I hope he does not proceed to be dramatic about it. Sheepy: Grif: It's in his nature to be dramatic. Arsé-kun: Yog: Which means he will be slow about it. Sheepy: Grif:....Right. And wait until the last minute. Arsé-kun: Kay: He said he'd break character. He better and goddamn fast. Sheepy: Grif: True... Arsé-kun: Kay: All in all, we only had our lives threatened once. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe we should go check on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Check on everyone else, too. Sheepy: *Grif and Jauf get in the van* Arsé-kun: *They go home! Hooray!* Sheepy: Jauf: I have to find my king... It's bothering me now... Sheepy: Jauf: What did Cai look like...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: *mid-trying to lift a tv remote* Similar to Kay. Bigger build. Much less clean looking. Why? Sheepy: Jauf: Kay asked me today. Arsé-kun: Kay: This sucks. Sheepy: Jauf: Yet Cai wasn't biologically related to you... Sheepy: Jauf: Hey, by the way, don't you think it's strage that all of these generations later, your descendents bear some resemblance to you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Coincidences aren't real and shit sucks. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Is that strange? Sheepy: Jauf: So, you think this intentional? Or that something caused this? Arsé-kun: Kay: At this point? Yes. Absolutely to both. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, genes dictate almost everything about us. Sheepy: Jauf: So, at this point... Sheepy: Jauf:...They share almost as much genetic material with you as I do, I bet! Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I have none, but you understand. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Allow me to use Merlin as an example. All of his children seen thus far are also recognizable as his. Arsé-kun: *He means Primo, of course.* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: It's every two generations, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, so if I understand properly, they have no right to be as similar as they are. Sheepy: Jauf: So maybe it's a blessing of some kind? Or a curse, depending on how you look at it. Sheepy: Jauf: But that's not the case with most families. Sheepy: Jauf: I bet I wouldn't recognize my descendents at all! Sheepy: Jauf: So I think that's strange... I do think something unnatural could be causing it. Arsé-kun: Yog: Shockingly, this wasn't me. I'll admit that outright. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmmm? Sheepy: Jauf: Interesting? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, maybe it's the sword? Although, the twins didn't end up qualifying for it, did they? Aru shares the closest resemblance to Arthur, and she ended up qualifying for the sword... Sheepy: Jauf:....But Merlin can see the future, so wouldn't he be able to tell if the twins would qualify for the sword to begin with? Hmmmm... Sheepy: Jauf:......Well, I think it's strange, anyway! But good news for you is that your Bedivere and Lucan look nothing like Bedwyr. Sheepy: Jauf: So that just seems to be a coincidence of names. Sheepy: Jauf:......Well, I think it's strange, anyway! But good news for you is that your Bedivere and Lucan look nothing like Bedwyr. Sheepy: Jauf: So that just seems to be a coincidence of names. Arsé-kun: Arthur: The Lancelots barely had a passing similarity to our Lancelot. Only his name. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Being blond is not enough to say one is connected, so we can presume the current Gawain is the same. Sheepy: Jauf: And Tristan didn't act anything like our Tristram... Other than the love of music. Sheepy: Jauf: Right... Sheepy: Jauf: But there's definitely a strong resemblance here... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I personally believe the modern era versions simply gravitated towards each other due to their names. That, however... Sheepy: Jauf: I agree with that! It's just a coincidence! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is it too much to entertain if I dare to suggest my genes are just that powerful? Sheepy: Jauf: Then what about Cai? Sheepy: Jauf:...Well, Kay. Sheepy: Jauf: He looks nothing like you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... ..... I can hear Cai's voice already, announcing that he'd be stronger because it was a Tuesday or some utter rubbish. Sheepy: Jauf: Yet you share no genes with him that I know of! Sheepy: Jauf: Unless one of his descendents coincidentally ended up with one of yours? Even then, I don't get it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: All it'd take is exactly that! We talking science? I want in! Sheepy: Jauf: We are! Sheepy: Jauf: But don't you think it's strange just how similar they look? How lucky would you need to get 4 times for that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Extremely! Extraordinarily! And not to mention red hair definitely not being a dominant gene! Sheepy: Jauf: I see! I see! So it's from something else entirely, maybe! Sheepy: Jauf: My king is not a very lucky man... so I can't imagine him having enough luck for such a thing to happen. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I died. I can't really be that lucky. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha, exactly! Arsé-kun: *Yog is implied to be looking at the camera like in the office. He cannot mention the fourth wall. He cannot. He simply cannot* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Right! There's a bunch of wet paint on Artair's wall now! Did that have to do with you guys? Sheepy: Grif: What color? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Piss yellow. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Uncle did that upon our request. Arsé-kun: Kay: So he didn't take his sweet ass time. Sheepy: Grif: It's a surprise. But he must have freed Artair from Cthulhu. Sheepy: Jauf: Is it ever that easy...? Arsé-kun: Kay: He did say he'd do it "Just this once" so maybe it was. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: I trust him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I've made some progress. Sheepy: Jauf: Good, good! Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe soon you'll be able to grip a sword and take back your castle! I kept it in good condition! The tourists that came to see me probably contributed as well... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I've been thinking about that. I'm not quite sure I want to take it back. Sheepy: Jauf:...? Sheepy: Jauf: Why? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Would modern times even accept me, with how often I had poor judgement? Sheepy: Jauf: Doesn't everyone? Arsé-kun: Arthur: If everyone did, then Camlainn would not have happened. Sheepy: Jauf: No, I mean... Sheepy: Jauf: There will always be someone who doesn't accept you. Sheepy: Jauf: But everyone makes bad choices at some point. Sheepy: Jauf: For example, I won't deny one of your early choices got me killed... But that's life! Arsé-kun: Arthur: That doesn't help, Sir Jaufre. Sheepy: Jauf: Do you not accept me for my moments of bad judgement? Arsé-kun: Arthur: In comparison to mine, yours were nothing. Sheepy: Jauf: Find one flawless king. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I suppose.... Sheepy: Jauf: A king's bad judgements are magnified because they represent their kingdom and their people. Also, everyone's watching them closely. Yet it's human to make mistakes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That makes sense. Thank you. Sheepy: Jauf: It's your castle! You can do with it as you please. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can't live in it. Sheepy: Jauf: Because you're bound to the sword? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That too, but mostly because I'm deceased. Sheepy: Jauf: I see! Sheepy: Jauf: I can't fix that. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am aware. Sheepy: Jauf: King Pellinore could at the time... Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Hey, you know... Sheepy: Jauf: Now that I think of it... Sheepy: Jauf: On the previous topic, Aru reminds me of someone I know. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do not want to continue that conversation. Sheepy: Jauf: Eh?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I know exactly who it's from. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's from Mordred. We are now moving on. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmm... Sheepy: Jauf: Well, if you say so. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is not! Going! To panic! In front! Of Jaufre! Absolutely not!* Sheepy: Jauf: You know, maybe the Lancelot twins don't look like Sir Lancelot because he has no descendents. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Right. Galahad never had children. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Lionel didn't have any that I'm aware of, Sir Bors had... One? Maybe? Sheepy: Jauf: And I haven't heard anything about his other family members' situations. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Hector. Did Sir Hector ever manage to have children? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: He had a lover... I heard he had a lover on the side, too. Sheepy: Jauf: That whole family was cursed to love married women it feels like... Sheepy: Jauf: Other than Sir Bors and Sir Lionel. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So the only link they could possibly have is through Sir Hector, and even then it wouldn't be entirely direct. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes... Sheepy: Jauf: I don't think Sir Tristram had children either. He's an only child, too. Sheepy: Jauf: But Cai could have descendents! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I doubt it, but it is possible. Sheepy: Aru: The stories note him as having a son and a daughter, like Beddy! It wouldn't be a huge surprise if he had descendents! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... ... How. How did that man manage to have children. Sheepy: Aru: Well... Sheepy: Aru: It could be fake. It's just what I read. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We will have to consult Merlin on the matter. That will bother me now. Sheepy: Aru: I think Cai could be viewed as dependable. Also, he made off with a lot of your money, right? So that's another angle. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is that what happened to it? Sheepy: Jauf: Remember? When he ran off after you insulted him? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I didn't think he'd rob us, too. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahahahahaha! Typical Cai! Sheepy: Jauf: What a guy! I wonder what he's up to now? Sheepy: Jauf: If his spirit is out there now... He's probably making a quick buck! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cursing someone out, no doubts. Sheepy: Jauf: That sounds just like him! Arsé-kun: Arthur: *in the raspiest voice he can muster and trying not to smile* Aye, you twat! What're you standing around for? You daft? Sheepy: Jauf: That's a perfect impression! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Oh, but I don't want to swear, so I cannot be that accurate. Sheepy: Jauf: Didn't you just curse? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No? Sheepy: Jauf: *thinking* Arsé-kun: *Kay just smugs in the background. He ain't telling* Sheepy: Jauf: My king uses profanity without realizing it.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is it??? Sheepy: Jauf: Yes... I believe so. Arsé-kun: Arthur: My apologies. Sheepy: Jauf: For you, my king... Sheepy: Jauf: I will not tell Merlin. Arsé-kun: *primo, whose hobby is eavesdropping,* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. He wouldn't let me hear the end of it. Sheepy: Aru: It's possible he's already heard it... Arsé-kun: *Extraordinarily brief cut to Primo, sitting on a sofa, kicking his feet and chuckling while pondering an orb and watching this go down. He has work to be doing, and yet,* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm doomed. Sheepy: Jauf: I will defend you! Arsé-kun: *Aru gets a single text. you already know who it is* Sheepy: *Aru checks it* Arsé-kun: Primo: [text: to Aru] I was actually watching because I was concerned for Artair when the Yellow King physically manifested inside his room, but tell King Arthur I'm disappointed. ;) ;) ;) Ask Kay and Griflet about the former statement. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Primo] Okay, Teacher! Arsé-kun: Arthur: *looking over her shoulder* :< Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, Teacher's disappointed in you! Sheepy: Jauf: At least Beddy doesn't know! He'd make you rinse yoir mouth out with soap. Arsé-kun: Arthur: He'd make me want to do that myself. Sheepy: Aru: His disappointed stare... Sheepy: Aru: You may finally get a glimpse at his face... just so he can make you feel bad. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Or so you can keel over! He's real good at that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But I did see his face! He's pretty! Arsé-kun: *Fou is sitting on the table. Fou doesn't belong here* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Fou! Did you want to join in, too? Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrow! Arsé-kun: *Fou stares, and then starts licking his leg* Sheepy: Aru: Ohh... You just want a higher perch, I guess? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He wants to be included. Sheepy: Aru: I understand that feeling. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you wanna sit on the table too? Sheepy: Aru:? No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, okay. *he proceeds to sit on the table* Sheepy: Aru: I just think being a cat must be difficult sometimes! Sheepy: Jauf: Being anything is difficult sometimes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Being is difficult. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, we're all here. What kinda magic should we practice today, lads and Aru? Sheepy: Aru: Ah! You're leaving that up to us? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kay won't be able to keep up with what I'm considering, so yes! Sheepy: Jauf: So, you know how people's blood counts as a liquid... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not killing anyone and we don't have blood samples! Sheepy: Jauf: *sigh*.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: That, and I don't know any blood magic. Kay would hit me with a roll of paper towels if we even tried that. Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll do that for free. Sheepy: Aru: Is Lucan's blood fake? Arsé-kun: Kay: I wish it was. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Huh. An actual use for all that orphaned blood! Sheepy: Aru: Poor Lucan... Sheepy: Aru: So, um... Sheepy: Aru: He was in the hospital for a reason, right? And he only left because of the school falling off path... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Oh, he's fucked. Sheepy: Aru: Should we be doing something about that? Arsé-kun: Yog: Jaufre, could I bother and make you do something about that? Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, of course! What can I do? Arsé-kun: Yog: It's your turn for fetch quests. Maybe combat if you're lucky. Sheepy: Jauf: My king, let's go on a quest! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would love to, but I can't leave a radius of the sword. The only time I did was, well, outside of my abilities. Sheepy: Jauf: Let me see the sword. Sheepy: Aru:...? But it'll shock you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Would it? He is already deceased. Sheepy: *Jauf yoinks it. No issue!* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahaha... it never shocked me in life, either! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Please at least take the rest of it with you. Sheepy: Jauf: Rest? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ......... ...... Disregard that. Sheepy: Jauf: Now then, let's go! Where am I going? Arsé-kun: *Yog presents Jauf with his own quest pop-up and an option to fast-travel.* Sheepy: *Jauf takes it!* Arsé-kun: *They get fast-travelled to just outside campus!* Sheepy: Jauf: I remember this place. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I did not enjoy that. Not one bit. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is this how you felt when you were carsick..? Bad? Sheepy: Jauf: Exactly! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Next time we do that, I'm going back into the sword. Ugh. Sheepy: Jauf: You can do that? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes. It's where I was sleeping prior to Aru waking me. It's easy for me to go in and out. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... No one else is here. Arsé-kun: *Arthur finally lets himself emote, and it's a frown* Sheepy: Jauf: Well, we're presumably looking for medicine... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I hope you can handle the carrying. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course! Sheepy: Jauf: What medicine do we need, anyway? Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Jauf's orb, Andromalius* I will spare you the full names because I intend to make the bottles glow for easier collection. I wouldn't make you both sit there and read through hundreds of bottles. That would be cruel and unusual. Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you! Arsé-kun: Yog: That, or I'll send fractals. Same result in the end. Arsé-kun: Yog: Most creatures have no reason to give attention to the deceased, but that's not a guarantee. Be careful. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course! Let's head to the hospital, my king! Arsé-kun: Arthur: You take point. Arsé-kun: *Arthur jumps into Caliburn, so it looks like the typical jrpg sprite animation where all the party members descend into the leader. Like that, but it's intentional* Sheepy: *Jaufre rushes to the hospital!* Arsé-kun: *He's not stopped by anything, and if anything was going to try, he was too fast.* Sheepy: Jauf: Now we just need to look for glowing objects. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have an optional quest for you if you'd like to take that as well. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes? Sheepy: Jauf: What is the optional quest? *He's picking up a glowing object* Arsé-kun: Yog: My favorite mad scientist has gone full mad scientist. Please slay all of the zombies he raised. This is less a quest and more a concern for his well-being. Arsé-kun: Yog: He is also required for giving you physical form, so that's the reward. His survival and participation. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahahaha! You know me! Worry not, my friend! After all... *toothy grin* I'll tear them to shreds! Arsé-kun: Yog: He is close by. I'm sure you won't need my assistance finding him. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! Of course! Sheepy: *Jaufre heads in Herb's direction, picking up glowing objects as he goes* Arsé-kun: *Arthur comes back out, wanting to help but unsure if he can* Sheepy: Jauf: My king... do you see anything? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not yet. I do hear a lot of sounds, though. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe it's our friend. Arsé-kun: *There IS faint, nervous laughter and a lot of assorted undead noises* Sheepy: *Jaufre follows the noises, unsheathing his sword* Arsé-kun: *Arthur takes Caliburn as well, following Jauf* Arsé-kun: *They eventually find the morgue! That is... That is a lot of undead, and all their eyes (if they have any) have turned to glare at Jaufre. There is a single human here, too, sitting W-legged on the floor and uncomfortably laughing* Sheepy: Jauf: Sheesh... this is a mess. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's quite a lot of people... Sheepy: Jauf: They're all dead. Arsé-kun: *Arthur looks startled* Arsé-kun: Arthur: What...? All of them? Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, except the guy in the middle, maybe. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So we need to take the dead back down.. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course! Sheepy: *Jaufre lunges at them, aiming fof their necks!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 9 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *The first two he aims for are easily slain, with their heads cut clean off! .... But they're already dead. This doesn't actually stop them.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: *in horror* May God have mercy on their and our souls, what on Earth is this? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? That's not what I was expecting at all! *He backs off* Where is the weak point? Arsé-kun: Yog: The heart. Sheepy: Jauf: Heart, hm... Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Arthur takes a fighting stance, and easily pierces the heart of the nearest undead* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! Good job, my king! But I won't let you beat me! *He goes for another undead, aiming for the heart!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: They're unarmored, untrained, and unliving. This can't be difficult! *he follows suit, making this into a competition* Sheepy: *Jaufre is having an absolute blast re-killing undeads with his king!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is also having an inappropriate amount of fun with the undead-slaying! It's like slaying people, but with no consequences!* Sheepy: Jauf: You're doing a great job, my king! Arsé-kun: Arthur: As are you, Sir Jaufre! Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you, my king...! Your praise makes me more determined to win! Arsé-kun: *And win Jaufre does!* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhh... they're all dead again. That's too bad... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I got eleven of them! How many did you fell, Jaufre? Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you, my king...! *He's beaming!* Arsé-kun: Herb: *wh at.* Sheepy: Jauf:....Ah? You were relevant somehow... Arsé-kun: Arthur: You need him alive, yes? Arsé-kun: *Herbert is wondering if he's actually, finally snapped for good. There are ghosts with swords. .... No. This is not the weirdest thing he's ever seen, so no.* Sheepy: Jauf: I do... to get my body back. Arsé-kun: Herb: *hw a t* Sheepy: Jauf: My companion was looking for you. *he's finally addressing Herb* Arsé-kun: Herb: That being...?? Sheepy: Jauf: Yog-Sothoth. Sheepy: Jauf: He was concerned about you. Arsé-kun: Herb: Oh, that bastard! Do inform him that I'm getting tired of my funds being drained, please! Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Sheepy: Jauf: Funds? Drained? Sheepy: Jauf: Would he really rob people that he likes...? Arsé-kun: Herb: I already pay him for my supplies! But then I get a single text at three in the morning that's just a cat face and I KNOW! I can't even change my credit card info, because he can just see it! Sheepy: Jauf:...... Sheepy: Jauf: If I get a physical body... Sheepy: Jauf: Will he treat me like a wallet on legs as well? Arsé-kun: Yog: No. Sheepy: Jauf: How kind of you, my friend! Arsé-kun: Yog: Speaking of wh- Arsé-kun: Herb: NO! Sheepy: Jauf: You'll be the second person to try my cooking! Arsé-kun: Herb: Please don't make me pay for it. Sheepy: Jauf: Hm? Sheepy: Jauf: Why would you be paying for it? Arsé-kun: Herb: Because Yog loves to extort me in any way he can. Why me? Arsé-kun: Yog: (Because it's funny) Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhhh... I see... Sheepy: Jauf: You want some of my cooking, too... Sheepy: Jauf:...I'll make you something for free once I have my body back, as thanks. Arsé-kun: Herb: It's a deal. Sheepy: Jauf: Wonderful, wonderful! What a good man you are! Sheepy: Jauf: I have to come up with something my king will enjoy... Sheepy: Jauf: Oh, yes. On the way here, I collected all of the quest objects. Arsé-kun: Yog: I see this. Good work. Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you... Sheepy: Jauf: Are there any other side quests? Arsé-kun: Yog: They certainly exist, but some of them were not designed for you specifically. Sheepy: Jauf: Ones for me? Arsé-kun: Yog: Hmmm. For Grif, for Grif, definitely for Grif, maybe?, maybe this one too. Arsé-kun: Yog: If you want to make sure other people are alive, you're welcome to. And I suppose my uncle as well, while you're there. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course! Arsé-kun: *In the meantime, Arthur made the mistake of asking Herb a question and is getting a three hour lesson in response. Today Arthur learned the word "Lobotomy"* Sheepy: Jauf: Do people do lobotomies in modern day? Arsé-kun: Herb: On the living? Not since 1967. Sheepy: Jauf: 1967.... Arsé-kun: Herb: For comparison, it is 2021. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha, I know. Sheepy: Jauf: I've been conscious all these years. Arsé-kun: *Arthur pauses to parse that information again* Sheepy: Jauf: It's gruesome, really! Why not just use leeches? Leeches solve almost everything... Arsé-kun: *Herb changes topics very abruptly and will now discuss what leeches can and cannot actually do.* Arsé-kun: Herb: --And since they prevent blood clots and congestion, they're not used outside of very small surgeries and some other things. They also stop re-attached parts from overfilling with blood too quickly, like a finger. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! What talented little bugs they are! They are a bug, aren't they? Perhaps not? Sheepy: Jauf: Ahh...? Parts can be reattached? Maybe our lack of medical knowledge did Sir Bedwyr a huge disservice... Sheepy: Jauf: Although, it was his whole lower arm rather than just a finger. Then, he apparently kept feeling sensations in his lower arm... supposedly it was pretty painful, too. So we... well, our doctors, amputated a little more of his arm to try to fix it, and he ended up with the sensation in both his lower arm and the bit that was amputated. Sheepy: Jauf: All knights are in the service of doing medically unnecessary amputations, you know. But none of my family had ever had that happen before. Seeing it made me reconsider some things... my fighting style, mainly, and what I was doing to my foes... Arsé-kun: Herb: Limbs can be reattached sometimes, but it takes quite a bit of work. And the answer to phantom limb is never to remove more of the limb! That only makes it significantly worse! Sheepy: Jauf: !?! Arsé-kun: Herb: That is a psychological issue with the brain believing a limb is still attached when it is not. Sheepy: Jauf: ....................Eh? Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha, well, we really messed up! Sheepy: Jauf: Who knew! Arsé-kun: Herb: Nobody, reasonably. It wasn't known about back then. Sheepy: Jauf: To think medicine has improved so much... Sheepy: Jauf: And I believed my potion crafting was high tech. Arsé-kun: Herb: Potions being able to do what they do without any outside assistance is very technical, and always worth studying. Sheepy: Jauf: You're interested in studying my potions? Arsé-kun: Herb: Very! Chemistry is my second-favorite science to study! Arsé-kun: Herb: I most certainly can and will! Sheepy: Jauf: Wonderful, wonderful! It's a deal, then! Arsé-kun: *SOCIAL LINK MADE* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is cleaning off Caliburn, meanwhile- He can't just hand it to Aru while it's covered in gore!* Sheepy: *What a good king!* Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, we should bring this medicine back to Lucan before things get worse... Arsé-kun: Arthur: That would be a wise plan. Sheepy: *Jauf and Arthur return home!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 6 Arsé-kun: *Kay sees them and IMMEDIATELY bails. Good-FUCKING-bye.* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmm? What frightened him? Sheepy: Aru: *She's gone pale. There's so much blood and gore!!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Us. We're filthy. Sheepy: *Aru's... started crying! Look at what you've done, Jauf. You've taken a perfectly happy Aru and given her tears* Sheepy: Jauf:...Hmm? No need to cry. This blood isn't my own. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Jaufre... Sheepy: Jauf:? Arsé-kun: Arthur: How do I clean up? Sheepy: Jauf: ??? Sheepy: Jauf:....I don't know. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *distressed* What do you mean you don't know? Sir? Sheepy: Jauf: Well... Sheepy: Jauf: I've only just learned recently that I'm a ghost. Sheepy: Jauf: So you and I function differently. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I also only recently learned that I'm a ghost!! I do not think we function all that differently! Sheepy: Jauf: A shower? A bath? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm willing to try anything if it means not terrifying Aru and Kay. Sheepy: Jauf: Anything? Arsé-kun: *Arthur "I changed clothes Once and I do not remember how" Pendragon, everyone* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Figurative! Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Where's the bath? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Um. Sheepy: Jauf:....Hmm. Sheepy: Jauf: What a pickle! Arsé-kun: Artair: *helpfully, from the sidelines* Upstairs, on the left. I didn't know ghosts could be dirtied. Sheepy: Jauf: Nor did I. Arsé-kun: Arthur: The more we know, the better off we are, I suppose... Sheepy: Jauf: That's true! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... If we go through the ceiling, would we leave bloodstains? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: Let's go the normal way. Arsé-kun: *Arthur opts to float up the stairs like a civilized human being* Sheepy: *Jauf follows* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is now staring at modern appliances. He has not been inside of this room before. Um.* Sheepy: Jauf: It's a bathroom! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't know how to operate any of this. Sheepy: *Jauf looks at the bath for a few moments before putting the plug into the hole and turning it on* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Ah. Sheepy: Jauf: Borrow some clothes from Grif? Arsé-kun: Arthur: You probably could. Sheepy: *Jauf starts washimg his face in the sink* Arsé-kun: *Arthur takes off his cape and neatly folds it and puts it over there. Considers his clothes. Starts taking his shirt off. Man.* Sheepy: *Jauf leaves briefly and returns with some of Grif's clothes* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I should have thought about that. Will he mind you doing this? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, the only other option is scaring Kay. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I suppose you have a point. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Do you think the temperature matters? Since we're already dead? Sheepy: Jauf: Probably not, although... Sheepy: Jauf: *He starts cleaning his clothes in the sink* Sheepy: Jauf: Hot water sets bloodstains, but you should be fine. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Does it? I didn't know that. Arsé-kun: *Arthur opts to just get in the tub as is. Pants and all. Fuck it. Fuck it! He'll figure out the rest later!* Sheepy: Jauf: My king, have you never done your own laundry? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Maybe when I was a lad, but I don't really recall. As king? No, certainly not. Sheepy: Jauf: Being a king really has its benefits... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It does! But it means I did not know crucial information, so was it really.. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe not. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... You know, I'm beginning to regret my decisions. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Why? Did blood set into your pants? You can just borrow some from someone. Sheepy: Jauf: Like Grif. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Wet pants. Sheepy: Jauf: That's the worst feeling... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Or when your foot is wet inside of your shoe... Sheepy: Jauf: It's a horrible feeling... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Awful, terrible. Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder what this is supposed to be, anyway. Sheepy: Jauf: Why is the dragon so cube-like? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't know. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: I'll just have to ask him when I see him. Sheepy: Jauf: I'll go hunt for clothes for you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm not quite sure I'd be able to use normal clothes.. I can barely handle a single small item. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... Sheepy: Jauf: How will you put on dry clothes, then... Hmm... Sheepy: Jauf: Did you want me to clean your shirt? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, please. Sheepy: *Jauf picks up Arthur's shirt and starts washing out the bloodstains* Arsé-kun: *Today's lesson! Ghost + extended contact with water = cold water! Who knew??? Not Arthur!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Aru is a child, and I cannot speak for Kay. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe some of the Round Table feared it but never said anything... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Perhaps due to the fact that most people in the current age are not usually in fear for their lives? Sheepy: Jauf: That's true. Sheepy: Jauf: That must be nice. Sheepy: Jauf: The concept of me dying didn't frighten me any, but you... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Outside of the whole path thing... ... I did not like the concept. Sheepy: Jauf: It worried me a lot! Now it doesn't because you're already dead. Can ghosts die? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't know. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: Let's not try to figure that out. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Merlin... 12, was it? Mentioned we could change, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Maybe you just need to think really hard and imagine yourself in a changed state... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm not going to attempt that in the water. Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, I got the blood out. SSheepy: Jauf: Then you'd just get your new clothing wet. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, exactly. Sheepy: Jauf: A warm bath must be nice in a physical body. Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder if we'll get bodies soon... Sheepy: Jauf: I trust my companion to come through for me, but you... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I think I'm fine where I am for now. Sheepy: Jauf: You don't yearn for a physical body? Sheepy: Jauf: To taste food? To live? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Please do not tempt me. Sheepy: Jauf: My king really is something! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... In actuality, I'm painfully jealous of you getting that opportunity. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe we could ask Merlin about you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So get cryptic advice that tells us nothing? Sheepy: Jauf:....... Sheepy: Jauf: We'll ask Sir Bedwyr to translate. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... .... Sir Jaufre? Sheepy: Jauf: Yes? Arsé-kun: Arthur: You, you did deliver the goods you were sent to fetch, yes? Sheepy: Jauf:........ Sheepy: Jauf:................... Sheepy: Jauf: Ah. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Please go do that as soon as you're changed. Sheepy: Jauf: I am changed. Arsé-kun: *Arthur sits up to look at Jauf* Arsé-kun: Arthur: So you have. Sheepy: *Jauf is wearing an Enderdragon shirt and black pants.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's odd seeing you without armor. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! I agree. I like the feeling of armor. It makes me feel protected! Sheepy: Jauf: *He takes out the bottles of medicine and heads downstairs* Arsé-kun: *Kay's sitting on the floor, his face in his hands and not out of grif-style embarrassment. It's just normal embarrassment this time.* Arsé-kun: Kay: We're the woooorst... A real fight could break out and we're not gonna be able to do shit... Sheepy: Jauf: Hello, Kay! Have you seen Lucan? I forgot to deliver this medicine... Arsé-kun: *Kay points down the hall without moving otherwise* Sheepy: Aru: *She's doing her best to comfort Kay* It's okay...!! We... we just have to work harder! Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you! *He exits to deliver the medicine and then returns* Arsé-kun: Kay: We really do... We can't just burst into tears every time this happens. We can't wield a sword and also cry! Sheepy: Aru: Exactly!! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Or throw up, or collapse, or any of those other things, all of them are detrimental to hitting creatures with a sword! Sheepy: Jauf: Well, you know... Sheepy: Jauf: Isn't it a good thing you two haven't been desensitized to blood? Arsé-kun: Kay: No! It gets in the way constantly. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's called 🔥Trauma🔥! Arsé-kun: Kay: At least for me. So it's actually worse! Sheepy: Jauf: I've heard of trauma. Sir Bedwyr suffers from it. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, there's no need to feel down in the dumps about being afraid of blood. Sheepy: Jauf: Lucan's doesn't seem to bother you. Sheepy: Jauf: So it's a certain amount of blood, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know. Lucan's is just... It's just kinda always there. Sheepy: Jauf: So if you get a papercut, does the blood bother you? Sheepy: Jauf: I don't really think your goal should be to become desensitized. I think having a fear of blood to an extent is healthy. Did you know that blood can carry disease? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes to both. Sheepy: Jauf: I see! Sheepy: Jauf: ............. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I don't know how to solve your problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: That makes three of us. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: But here's a bright idea. What if we stopped talking about this?? Sheepy: Jauf: If you say so! I'll leave you to mope. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wait, I have a question Arsé-kun: Kay: So how did ghost laundry go? Sheepy: Jauf: I cleaned it, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: How? Wouldn't water go straight through? Sheepy: Jauf: My clothing is wet, so I'm borrowing some from Grif. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe the rules don't apply to me? Or it's a mental thing. My king is taking a bath. Arsé-kun: *Merlin slowly slides into frame in the hallway to listen to this part of the conversation exclusively* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... What, can you guys pick what goes through and what doesn't? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I'm more physical than not, I think. Sheepy: Jauf: But ghosts can hold things, and that requires it not to go through them... Arsé-kun: *Arthur enters through the floor, post-figuring out how to change clothes as a ghost. Return of the nice white suit! Hair still wet though.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fantastic news, Sir Jaufre, I have figured it out! Sheepy: Jauf: My king! You look great! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. Sheepy: Jauf: And you've figuerd out such a useful skill... Sheepy: Jauf: It seems you've figured out how to be physical, too. Somewhat. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Somewhat. Arsé-kun: Arthur: The cons to our discoveries are as follows: I am cold. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Jauf: So we need something to warm you up... Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Did I leave my cape upstairs..? Sheepy: Jauf:...Oh. I didn't clean it... Sheepy: Lucan: *He walks in holding Arthur's cape. It's clean!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, Sir Lucan, you found it, thank you! Sheepy: Lucan: It's yours? I was wondering whose it was. *He hands it to Arthur* Arsé-kun: *Arthur gratefully takes it and puts it on* Arsé-kun: Arthur: You cleaned it as well? This swiftly? Sheepy: Lucan: Of course. I'm always getting blood in my clothing, after all. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Even though my clothing isn't entirely physical? Sheepy: Lucan:....? Sheepy: Lucan: ....It's not? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is it?? Arsé-kun: *To solve this issue, Kay reaches up and swats his hand straight through the cape.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure fuckin' ain't. Sheepy: Lucan: I had no issue touching it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's it with you and weird stuff lately? Succubus gf, now touching ghost stuff? You feel good, Lucan? Sheepy: Lucan: Feeling good...? Sheepy: Lucan: Not exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mmmmaybe that was the wrong question! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But I don't think bein' able to handle that is normal? So like. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Either you're hyperfucked, or death ex machina blessed your ass. Sheepy: Lucan:.......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But you're here speaking to us! So! Sheepy: Lucan: That's true... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe grampa would know... Arsé-kun: *frantic Merlin texting.gif* Sheepy: Jauf: Why do you seem so worried? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Being able to handle ghost stuff barehanded is not a normal thing! The only cases I know about are people who specialize in it, one freak accident, someone who was close to dying, and I guess reapers too. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: Considering the git lives on the "close to dying" line terminally, it probably ain't a big deal. Arsé-kun: *Kay turns his head to look at Lucan* Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucan, you prick, stop goddamn working. Sheepy: Lucan: It was going to stain. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sit your ass down or so help me! Sheepy: Jauf: My king, have you warmed up? Arsé-kun: *Camera zooms out so we can see Arthur in frame again. He's completely wrapped in his cape like a cat loaf in a blanket. You understand.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not quite, no. This will take a while. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... Sheepy: Lucan: By the way, why's this medieval ghost wearing a Minecraft shirt? Does anyone else think that's jarring? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's borrowing it from Grif, however that works. Sheepy: Lucan: From Grif...?? Arsé-kun: Kay: Same size, I guess. Sheepy: Lucan: I didn't expect them to wear the same size... Sheepy: Jauf: Ah? No, no, it's a little small on me, but it's the best I can get until my usual outfit dries. By the way, what's a Minecraft? Arsé-kun: Kay: Building and fighting game. Let Merlin show you, he ain't doin' anything important. Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at him. Kay doesn't see it.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahahaha! I see, I see! Sheepy: Jauf: Like sparring, but with bonus building! Arsé-kun: Kay: And everything is cubes, except when they aren't. Sheepy: Jauf: Cubes.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grampa Morne says it's probably because it's how Lucan is, if anybody still cares about that. Sheepy: Lucan: How I am? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How many times have we heard that you were dying before? Like fifty? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But despite everything, you're still here. Sheepy: Lucan: I can't be killed off so easily~ Sheepy: Lucan: You don't have to worry about that. Sheepy: Lucan: It could just be a fluke, anyway. Arsé-kun: Kay: motherfucker I could breathe on you wrong and you'll be fucked for weeks Sheepy: Lucan: So you say! Sheepy: Jauf: Have you tried leeches? Sheepy: Lucan: How would leeches fix anything...? Sheepy: Jauf: They wouldn't, but it might induce a placebo effect. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Well, now they wouldn't, since you told him. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: How do I make him unhear that? Sheepy: Lucan: I don't want to try leeches. Sheepy: Jauf: Your loss! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And sir, you might be cold because you're in midair and not against anything that gives off heat. Just saying! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hm. That sounds wise enough to be correct. Sheepy: Jauf: There was a fireplace running when we first got here. Maybe it's running again? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I hope so. Sheepy: Jauf: Let's go find out! Arsé-kun: *It is not. What a pity* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... How can we light it... Sheepy: Jauf: Would that be overstaying our welcome? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do think it would be. Sheepy: Jauf: So let's light it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Well, if you insist. Sheepy: *Jauf lights the fireplace* Arsé-kun: *Arthur sits down right next to it. warm* Sheepy: Jauf: It's weirdly nostalgic. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of us all huddled around a fire after a hunt... Or Dove accidentally lighting another fire. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Or Dove intentionally lighting another fire. Sheepy: Jauf: When I'd be looking at maps and trying to strategize... and then I'd start smelling smoke because I wasn't paying enough attention to him. Sheepy: Jauf: Or when he'd sprawl out on the map because I wasn't paying enough attention to him... Arsé-kun: Arthur: He's grown large enough to give vehicles problems, apparently. Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder what he's up to. Sheepy: Jauf: So he sprawls out to block traffic? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's what I was told. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... He's barely changed. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why would he? Dragons expect the world to change around them. Arsé-kun: *Says Arthur "Red Dragon" Pendragon.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! It's true! Sheepy: Jauf: It becomes an issue when they grow to be as big as a house... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I want to presume he may be bigger than that. Sheepy: Jauf: Frightening thought... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... But I am unsure. Arsé-kun: *background noise. An Event is Happening that doesn't concern you.* Sheepy: Jauf: How long do dragons live? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is a good question. Apparently very long. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I've also heard he still chases skirts despite having gotten married. What a disaster. Merlin hasn't been watching him. Sheepy: Jauf: We've all been such bad influences on him... Arsé-kun: Arthur: We have.... Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder if Merlin knows? Arsé-kun: Arthur: What doesn't he know, with his tendency to eavesdrop? Sheepy: Jauf: Isn't that somewhat creepy? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Very. He needs a real hobby. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes... Arsé-kun: Primo: *JUMPSCARE* Do you mind?! Sheepy: Jauf: Aahhh?! When did you get here?! Arsé-kun: Primo: I might only be here for research purposes, but only a couple of minutes ago! Sheepy: Jauf: Research? Arsé-kun: *Primo simply doesn't answer, bending down to hug Arthur.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahh... I see......... Arsé-kun: Primo: Coincidentally, I'm not the only one here today. Sheepy: Jauf: What? Really? Arsé-kun: Primo: *looking offscreen* No, Dovefydd, you canNOT eat anything in the fireplace, don't look at me that way! Sheepy: *Dove finally enters and approaches the fireplace anyway. rebellion* Arsé-kun: *That's a funny looking dragon.* Sheepy: *He looks like a pretty tall human!* Sheepy: Jauf:..........? Arsé-kun: Primo: Dovelas..! Sheepy: Dove: *He picks up the fire poker* This isn't in the fireplace! *...and starts chewing on it.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is lurking, starry eyed because grandpa AND dragon are here! wow! wow! wow! wow!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Dove?! That's you?! Sheepy: Dove:....Mmm? *He stops chewing on the poker and gives Arthur a blank look* ......... *headtilt* Arsé-kun: *Arthur Unloafs and leans around Primo* Sheepy: Dove: Ohh....! *He gives Arthur a bright smile* It's you! The nice one! Sheepy: Dove: I flew out here to see all of my friends! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm relieved you still remember me. Have you really grown larger than a house? Sheepy: Dove:....Huh? Arsé-kun: Primo: Depends on the house in question~~ Sheepy: Dove: A house can be anything! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Nothing really has changed! Sheepy: Dove: I'm much taller than a dog house! Sheepy: Dove: I bet you are too! Sheepy: Dove: Dad is, too~ Sheepy: Dove: Do you remember him? *He points to Primo* That's my dad. The pretty one didn't remember him... But he seemed more interested in chasing down his brother. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Pretty one? Dove, that doesn't narrow it down at all. Sheepy: Dove:....? Sheepy: Dove:............. Sheepy: Dove: His name was... Sheepy: Dove:.....Blio! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Blio.... So Sir Lionel. Sheepy: Dove: Where does the b come from? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Bors probably added it. Sheepy: Dove: Bors... Sheepy: Dove: No, he only had one... Sheepy: Dove: But what is a baby one called? Sheepy: Dove: There were some of those. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *what.* Sheepy: Dove: Hmmm? You don't know either? Arsé-kun: Primo: Boarlets. He means Sir Bors, with the cow looking hair, Dovey. Sheepy: Dove: There was... Sheepy: Dove: Ohhhh! I recognize the one with you! Sheepy: Dove: He'd feed me gross things! Sheepy: Jauf: Not once did I do that! You ate out of my trash! Sheepy: Jauf: Sure, I experimented on you a little, but it was for the good of everyone... You seemed to like what I gave you... Sheepy: Dove: The redhead thinks that Arthur needs to listen better to the advice he's given and not act on a whim so much. By the way, why did he wander around without a top back then? Doesn't he get cold? I tried it once. People stared. Turns out that it's a public deterrence. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is thinking* Arsé-kun: *Primo just smirks and does not correct or explain a single part of this.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhhh... Sir Gawain's around, hm. Well, he is dead. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Him or Cai. That description fits them both to a T. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, there's one easy way to solve this one. Sheepy: Jauf: Hey, is the redhead you met a drunk? Sheepy: Dove: Huh? No. Sheepy: Jauf: It's Sir Gawain, then. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Would Sir Gawain have a reason to survive this long...? I recall him being a ghost the last time I spoke to him. Sheepy: Jauf: Being mad at you not listening? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Being mad in general. Sheepy: Jauf: I don't know the context.... Sheepy: Jauf: But that sounds like him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But there's no reason for him nor Cai to survive this long... Sheepy: Jauf: Well, you could say the same about me without knowing me. Arsé-kun: *Primo continues to smug.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: You're a stubborn git. Sheepy: Dove: You've lived all this time to feed as many people disgusting food as possible. Sheepy: Dove: You exist to undo all good Gordon Ramsey has done for the world. Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, but you know that name perfectly fine?! Sheepy: Dove: Well... Sheepy: Dove: I met this man who said that recently. Sheepy: Dove: well, I've known him for quite some time... Arsé-kun: Primo: But you remembered it and didn't get it wrong. I'm impressed! Sheepy: Dove: You're impressed with me? Really?! *He's hyped!* Arsé-kun: *Primo just gives Dove a thumbs up, meanwhile* Sheepy: Dove: Ask away! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Did he sound *ahem, ahem* Like this sorta bastard, Dumblas? Like an absolute git? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Pardon the name use. Sheepy: Dove: ? Sheepy: Dove: *thinking* Sheepy: Dove: I don't think you do very good impressions, nice guy. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I understand that. Sheepy: Dove: But he did call me Dumblas! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cai....... Sheepy: Jauf:.....Cai is around? Arsé-kun: *Primo has never stopped smugging, and is now considering an orb* Sheepy: Dove: I was on vacation and I saw a guy selling tasty looking food... He called me Dumblas... Arsé-kun: Primo: Dove that was not food. Sheepy: Dove: That's what he said... Sheepy: Dove: But I liked it. Sheepy: Dove: It was well worth the money! Sheepy: Dove: Hey, by the way, doesn't the gross guy look familiar? Sheepy: Jauf: *stare* Arsé-kun: Primo: Dovey, your son was based on Jaufre. heepy: Dove: .....? Sheepy: Dove: Griflet's based on Jaufre? Sheepy: Dove: Not someone else? Sheepy: Dove: So Yog chose gross guy... Sheepy: Jauf: *staaaaaaare* Arsé-kun: *exasperated sigh from Seir. Thanks yog for the great input* Sheepy: Dove: By the way, where did you go? Sheepy: Dove: Nice guy? Sheepy: Dove: You disappeared. I missed you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I've been inside of a sword for the past..... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ........ Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... However long it's been. Apparently I missed seeing you by just a couple of hours. Sheepy: Dove: Yes! I was visiting my son! Sheepy: Dove: He looks like gross guy! Sheepy: Dove: Have you met him? Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Seir* Yes. That was intentional. I have told you this. Sheepy: Dove: Well, I know... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I have. I would like to spar with him. Sheepy: Dove: Why did you pick Jaufre? It's a good choice! He's a kind man! Arsé-kun: Yog: I respected his drive and using his appearance directly lead to a good timeline. Sheepy: Dove: I see! Arsé-kun: Yog: Among other things. Sheepy: Dove: It's a good choice! Heroes can't be too attached to their items! You might think you're not within crit range, but you're always within crit range! Arsé-kun: Yog: There is always a chance you are in crit range. It is never 0%. Sheepy: Dove: It's scary... these heroes coming into my home and fighting me... I just want to sleep... Arsé-kun: Yog: I still think we should put a "do not fight, take some loot for free" sign. Arsé-kun: Yog: It'll be multiplied by the next day anyway. Sheepy: Dove: But it's my loot! I worked really hard to collect it all! Sheepy: Dove: And then they'll come back and double and triple dip... Arsé-kun: Yog: Then I punt them into orbit. Sheepy: Dove: You make me feel very safe! Arsé-kun: Yog: ♥ ♥ Sheepy: Dove: By the way, I saw another one! Sheepy: Dove: His name is Bunny! He's a tin can! But don't chew on him. It hurts him if you do that. Arsé-kun: Primo: Please don't chew on Beddy, Dovey. Sheepy: Dove: I don't chew on him anymore. I used to... until I learned that it hurt him. Arsé-kun: Primo: Chewing on them hurts most people. Sheepy: Dove: He told me that there wasn't anything inside the tin can worth seeing. I agree! The best part of the tin can is the tin can itself! Sheepy: Dove: Really? It hurts most people? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That would reasonably hurt anyone... Sheepy: Dove: Hmmm... It did hurt when Grif would chew on me, but... I guess that's normal! Sheepy: *Aru enters because she hears Primo! ...and immediately rushes over to hug him!* Arsé-kun: Primo: There you are! Yes, hello! Sheepy: Aru: I missed you! Arsé-kun: Primo: Huh, you must be missing by a mile, because I haven't seen any projectiles~ Sheepy: Aru: I see your sense of humor hasn't improved since I left! Arsé-kun: Primo: Why would it? ;) Arsé-kun: *Arthur has been caught between them and he's decided not to speak up about this. warm* Sheepy: Dove: Ah! I know her! She's the fun one who was always causing problems! Arsé-kun: Primo: No. This is Aru, she's one of my students. Arsé-kun: Primo: We've been over this, Dovelas. Sheepy: Dove:....? Sheepy: Aru: He's Griflet's dad, isn't he? Arsé-kun: Primo: He is. Sheepy: Dove: *thinking* Sheepy: Dove: Do I know her? Sheepy: Dove: She looks really familiar... Arsé-kun: Primo: Yes, but not who you're thinking! Sheepy: Dove: Is she related to the blond one, too? Arsé-kun: Primo: Uhhuh. Sheepy: Dove: Is the nice guy related to the blond guy? Arsé-kun: Primo: Yep. Sheepy: Dove: I wonder where he went... Well, I'll let you know if I see him during my travels! Arsé-kun: Arthur: *muttering* please do not. Sheepy: Dove:? Sheepy: Dove: Well, okay... Sheepy: Aru: Teacher, both Beddy and you have been eating and sleeping right, haven't you? You've been taking breaks? Arsé-kun: Primo: Of course he has! You know he has to take his koala holding breaks! Sheepy: Aru: But have you? Arsé-kun: Primo: :) Sheepy: Aru: *staaaare* Arsé-kun: Arthur: *staaaaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Primo: You two don't want to know what my schedule looks like! Sheepy: Aru: If you don't take care of yourself, I'll never forgive you! Arsé-kun: Primo: I am, I am! I'm just busier than usual at the moment! Sheepy: Aru: Well.... okay. Arsé-kun: Primo: *in Welsh* And none of you are getting involved in that so don't ask. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhh? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Merlin.. Sheepy: Dove: I want to get involved. Arsé-kun: Primo: You, maybe. But not them. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Primo: I could tell you! I could! But I'm simply not going to do that. Sheepy: Jauf: No, it's just.... Sheepy: Jauf:..... Sheepy: Jauf: Don't you think it's ridiculous to walk into a place full of people you know care about you, loudly announce that you have problems in a way only they understand, and then act like they're being... hmm... nosy, I suppose, when they react? Arsé-kun: Primo: It is! But consider the following: I enjoy being difficult. Sheepy: Jauf: Brave words for a man in Grifball range. Arsé-kun: Primo: We are not doing that near Aru. You could kill her easily. Sheepy: Aru: Why is it called Grifball? Arsé-kun: Primo: Yeah, Jaufre, why is it called Grifball? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Jauf: Ah.... Sheepy: Jauf: I don't remember... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Wasn't it because Jaufball was Cai throwing you at enemy units? Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, exactly! Arsé-kun: Arthur: We're getting sidetracked. Merlin cannot just say "You are not getting involved" to our faces. I'm not allowing it. Sheepy: Jauf: Aren't we doing exactly what he wants us to do? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Explain. Sheepy: Jauf: He's baiting us into asking for more details to get the satisfaction of making us beg for crumbs. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is possible, as is him genuinely not wanting us involved. Sheepy: Jauf: So either way... Sheepy: Jauf: Not asking him will drive him nuts. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Primo does Nothing. Total poker face outside of his usual smug.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: No matter what we do, we could be playing straight into his hands. Sheepy: Aru:? Sheepy: Aru: Isn't this just Teacher being Teacher? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, and I firmly dislike it. Sheepy: Jauf: What a pain... Sheepy: *Dove is chewing on the fire poker again* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, so... Grampa, are you doing the same thing you told grampa Misyr not to do? Arsé-kun: Primo: .. No. Sheepy: Dove: He's more open than Alex is... Sheepy: Dove: The naming theme is names that all start witb the letter m, isn't it? Sheepy: Dove: So how does Alex get away with just being Alex? Arsé-kun: Primo: That's not his name, Dove. Sheepy: Dove: What? He told me he was Alex, the miser... Arsé-kun: Primo: Misyr Rex, Dove. Sheepy: Dove: So his name is Rex? Arsé-kun: Primo: It's Misyr. Sheepy: Dove: Misyr..... Arsé-kun: Merlin: New question! Was that big ship yours?? Arsé-kun: Primo: That belongs to Magnus. Sheepy: Dove: I like Magnus! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I haven't gotten to meet him yet.. Sheepy: Dove: You will one day! Arsé-kun: Primo: Seconded. You'll get your chance soon enough. Sheepy: Dove: Dad will find him soon. I'm working hard to do what I can, too. Arsé-kun: Primo: Dovefydd. Sheepy: Dove:....? Arsé-kun: Primo: I wasn't going to share that information. Sheepy: Dove:...........? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Now you are. Explain further. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun: Primo: ................. Arsé-kun: *Primo stops being smug for once.* Sheepy: Dove: ............??? Arsé-kun: Primo: I did not want any of you involved in looking for Magnus for a single, very specific reason. It's too dangerous. Yes, even for you, Jaufre. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I can already hazard a guess! Arsé-kun: Primo: Aru, this is the reason I sent you away. I didn't want you nearby if there was any backlash. Arsé-kun: Primo: I didn't want you worrying about it, either. Sheepy: Jauf: He's been captured by Cthulhu. Sheepy: Aru:....Huh? I thought it was to help 14... Arsé-kun: Primo: It was not. We were already there before he got ricocheted. Sheepy: Aru: No, no, I mean... why you sent me here. Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, that was also a reason. Just a little less. Sheepy: Jauf: You know, by the way.. Sheepy: Jauf: Her brother was marked by Cthulhu. I wonder if it's a threat to tell you to stop looking for Magnus? Sheepy: Jauf: Or perhaps it's a coincidence. Sheepy: Jauf: Thankfully, another entity came and broke the connection... Arsé-kun: Primo: And that is why I am here today. I would rather not summon anyone if I can help it, but a vague understanding of how the connection works would be stellar. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: Supposedly, there's paint on his wall now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: H-He likes artists-- The entity, I mean! Using his name's a no-no, apparently! Sheepy: Jauf: He also likes Stuart the Minion. Sheepy: Jauf: That thing works well for bribes! Arsé-kun: Merlin: The... The giant minion Kay and Grif bought? They already gave that to him. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, I was there. I know. Sheepy: Jauf: Can we not just offer him a new one? Yes? No? Arsé-kun: Kay: He said he wouldn't do that again. We used that chance already. The fuck are we doing in here? Sheepy: Dove: Ah! It's Jake! Sheepy: Aru: Teacher came to visit! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hold up, what the fuck did you call me? Sheepy: Dove: Your name. Arsé-kun: Kay: No the hell you didn't, you bigass himbo. Sheepy: Dove: Jake! Arsé-kun: Kay: No! Sheepy: Dove: Ah, no, no! My name isn't Himbo! It's Dove! Like the flower! Arsé-kun: Kay: It fuckin' is now, old man! Sheepy: Dove: I'm one of the youngest people in this room... Arsé-kun: Kay: You're all old as fuck. Sheepy: Dove: Wouldn't a child say the same about you, Jake? Arsé-kun: *Primo has never been so glad for a sidetrack in his life. Okay, at least this year of his life* Arsé-kun: Arthur: We've gotten off topic. Sheepy: Dove: You're right, you're right! What was your name again, Jake? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's Kay! Sheepy: Dove: I see! If it's okay as you say, I'll keep calling you Jake then! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'M GOING TO THROW A BRICK OUT A FUCKING WINDOW. Arsé-kun: *he's so upset* Arsé-kun: Kay: So what the hell were you talking about before dumbass started dumbing all over me? Sheepy: Jauf: We were talking ab- Sheepy: Dove: I don't remember! Arsé-kun: Primo: Seconded! Arsé-kun: Arthur: This is a disaster. Sheepy: Jauf: -about Merlin looking for his son. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. That is exactly what we were talking about, as much as Merlin despises us discussing it. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks at Merlin. Merlin shakes his head. Not him!* Sheepy: Dove: Huh? This is where people usually say... Sheepy: Dove: "Can't you take a hint?" ... I wonder what that means? Sheepy: Jauf: Anyway, we're trying to figure out how to free him from Cthulhu. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh. *didn't actually expect an answer and doesn't know what to say* Arsé-kun: Primo: Fighting is entirely off the table. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course. I'm not that reckless. Arsé-kun: Primo: But Griflet is. Arsé-kun: Primo: The less people involved, the less targets Big Green has. Sheepy: Jauf: Right... So don't let him find out. Sheepy: Grif: *He's looming nearby, chewing on something. He found out.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Too late. Arsé-kun: Kay: How bad of suggestions are we taking here? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, it's up to Merlin, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Primo: Give me the terrible ideas. Arsé-kun: Kay: Make a deal with the janitor. That's my bad idea of the evening. Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: *chew, chew* Sheepy: Jauf: Janitor? Arsé-kun: *primo considers it for a metric fucksecond and then discards that idea* Arsé-kun: Yog: My dear uncle. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhhhh... him... Arsé-kun: Yog: I will not be making suggestions, to avoid altering the timeline. Please understand. Sheepy: Jauf: That's too bad! Arsé-kun: Yog: I will say that the current subject does enjoy his name being used, so maybe limit that. Sheepy: Jauf: What a guy... Arsé-kun: Yog: Egotistical bastard. Arsé-kun: Yog: I understand it completely, still a bastard. Sheepy: Grif: He's underwater, isn't he? The man we're looking to rescue. Arsé-kun: Primo: Questionably. R'yleh tends to rise and sink with the tides. Sheepy: Grif: We just exploit a glitch that the fishing rod mechanic has and fish him up that way. Using the backwards spin glitch, there's about a 1/356252 chance for the fishing rod to continuously extend until finally hitting a target. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Grif, you're just saying words at this point. You may as well be speaking Rylehian. What? Sheepy: Grif: But water is required for using a fishing rod. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bad idea three. Ain't Sir Cai the dude who doesn't need to breathe underwater? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Wait Arsé-kun: Kay: You know what I mean. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not correcting that because I don't know the word for it. Fuck off. Sheepy: Grif: However. Jaufre's existence seems to frequently induce glitches that would normally have a miniscule chance of happening. So he could potentially make the fishing rod glitch happen at a much higher rate than if I were to do it. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, Cai was talented at that! Sheepy: Jauf: This is a very stupid idea... but... Sheepy: Jauf: What if we just picked up the ocean and moved it? Sheepy: Jauf: Where is Elyan, anyway? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....... I think I'm getting stupider. Sheepy: Jauf: No, no, my king... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif? Where's your goddamn water? Sheepy: Jauf: You remember that bird who would accompany me everywhere? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That was not the part I was talking about. I know Elyan. Sheepy: Jauf: He's just sentient water, so presumably he could just become the ocean and move out of the way. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Would that even work? Accounting for gravity and all that? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, originally he was an ocean, I think. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, let's see if Elyan's here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *ahem* Arsé-kun: Merlin: HEWWO?? Sheepy: Grif:....? Hewwwooooo... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Guess not. We'd hear him if he was. Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe he got lost on the way home...? Arsé-kun: Yog: Cthaat is currently in the Atlantic, harassing deep-sea divers by honking at them. Sheepy: Jauf: He's become smarter since when I first met him, but there seemed to be very little processing power there originally. Sheepy: Jauf: How can we call upon him? Arsé-kun: Yog: You don't. He does as he pleases. Sheepy: Jauf: When we need him most, he's messing around somewhere. Sheepy: Jauf: Typical Elyan! Arsé-kun: Yog: I've found something through my searches. There is a way to contact him, but this is the long version. We don't exactly require that. Sheepy: Jauf: Right, because he knows us! Sheepy: Grif: Elyan........ I miss Elyan....... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe he would like this... Sheepy: Grif: Elyan.... Sheepy: Grif: Why did he leave? Arsé-kun: Yog: On a whim, or he got lost. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Can I finish what I was saying? Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, go ahead. Arsé-kun: Kay: If Sir Cai can stay underwater, he could always check things out. It's not like he can drown. Sheepy: Jauf: That requires knowing where he is. Arsé-kun: Kay: Orb? Arsé-kun: Yog: Denied. Sheepy: Jauf: Stalking him like that would feel wrong. Arsé-kun: Yog: That's also placing a humanoid with no resistance near Ryleh. Denied on principle. Sheepy: Jauf: At the end of the day, he left because he felt that enough was enough. All of us contributed to it. A little poem isn't enough to maks him act like that. Trying to get a service out of him after finally locating him would be terrible. Arsé-kun: Primo: That's also true. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey so I got this Sheepy: *Elyan is sitting on Merlin's head* Sheepy: Jauf: When did he get here...? Sheepy: Grif: Elyan... he's finally back. I missed him... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hewwwo. Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky Merlin imitation* Hewwwooooo! Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) Sheepy: Grif: Wow... He sounds just like the Elyan I remember. Arsé-kun: Merlin: H-hewwo, Eywyan! Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo! Sheepy: Jauf: What were you up to, hmm? You weren't bothering anyone, were you? Sheepy: Elyan: ......................................................... Sheepy: Elyan: *Crow voice* Aaaaaauughhh! Give me back my hotdog, you dumb pigeon! YOU AREN'T EVEN EATING IT! Arsé-kun: Kay: What a bully. I'm gonna throw the bird into the freezer for crime. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't you talk back to me! Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky Kay imitation* ... to me! Arsé-kun: Arthur: We've gotten off topic again. Sheepy: Jauf: Elyan, can you help us rescue Merlin's son? Sheepy: *Elyan has started pecking at the zipper on Merlin's shirt instead of responding.* Arsé-kun: Yog: I can speak to Cthaat at a later time. Consider him on board for this. Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you! Arsé-kun: Yog: It just needs to be explained a specific way. Again, consider him on board. Resume with this in mind. Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, I know that he isn't tryjng to be rude. Arsé-kun: Merlin: stop trying to eat my shirt Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky Merlin voice* Shirt! *peck, peck* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ow! Cut that out..! Sheepy: Elyan:? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Can we please focus before Merlin finds an excuse to leave? Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, that's a great idea. What kind of excuse would you like? Sheepy: Jauf: He won't leave. Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh? Are you sure about that? Sheepy: Jauf: It's a promise. Arsé-kun: Primo: Are you imprisoning me? Ooh, how naughty of you. I have a family to attend to, you know! Sheepy: Jauf: You do, and one's stuck at the bottom of the ocean relying on a guy who thinks his efforts alone are going to be enough. Don't want to endanger us? Someone else who's close to you has already been targeted. Like it or not, we're involved. Not because you nor I decided it, but because he's decided it. Arsé-kun: Primo: I know that! But I'm not bringing the kids along for it! You and the King are fine. Dovelas can take it. But not them. Sheepy: Jauf:.......... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Er. Sheepy: Jauf: Really... is my king fine? Arsé-kun: Primo: Big Green doesn't deal with the dead. It should be fine. Arsé-kun: Primo: I do recommend you work on it a bit, my king, you really were caught lacking~~ Arsé-kun: Arthur: oh, yes. let me practice that so casually. *stare.* thank you for your wisdom, court mage. Sheepy: Jauf: I could never be embarrassed by you, my king. Don't give me a reason to be. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't think I can embarrass you as well as others can. Sheepy: Jauf: It's true! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Also, that was the first time I have ever fallen to something like that. Give me SOME credit. Sheepy: Jauf: It's the first time you had the opportunity to, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: As a spirit, yes. Sheepy: Aru: I think you did a good job, Arthur! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Now. Does anyone have a map so we could work out a plan even somewhat? Sheepy: Aru: But even so... the whole thing really scared me, so please don't end up in a situation like that again if you can help it... Sheepy: Jauf: My companion might. Arsé-kun: *Arthur just pats Aru's shoulder. he sorry* Arsé-kun: Yog: Just for this occasion. *he brings up a large pop-up with an overhead view of Rlyeh. It can even be rotated to show depth!* Arsé-kun: Yog: This is how it will look when you all inevitably make the attack. I was very thorough in getting details correct. Arsé-kun: *Arthur had meant a paper map and doesn't know what the hell to do with this* Sheepy: Jauf: I see, I see! Sheepy: Jauf: This is very useful. Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes. Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you! Arsé-kun: Yog: That's what I was waiting for. You're welcome. I'll unlock the drawing tools so you can all mark the map. Arsé-kun: *Merlin considers drawing a peen on it first thing, but Aru is right there! He can't be that rude!* Sheepy: Grif:..........*He's staring at the map* Arsé-kun: *Primo is also studying the map* Arsé-kun: *Kay draws a little angry face in the top corner. Natural human instinct to draw on thing* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! Cai would do the same thing! Arsé-kun: Primo: The furthest I ever got in Rlyeh was about here. *he circles some upside-down spires* Never quite made it inside. Sheepy: Jauf: Why? Were you caught? Arsé-kun: Primo: We got dangerously close! Arsé-kun: Primo: That, and I don't think Beddy liked it very much. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: *Grif is wordlessly just drawing some circles accompanied with arrows on the map.* Arsé-kun: Yog: There are inside views as well, if you need them. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, what is this? Sheepy: Grif: Fishing spots. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... We're definitely gonna end up using that now, aren't we? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Well... Arsé-kun: Primo: What did I just say about that?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut up, old man, Grif can't permadie and I don't give a shit. Sheepy: Grif: Beddy didn't like it? Arsé-kun: Primo: I brought Bedwyr with me the last time I breached the surface. He didn't like it much. Sheepy: Grif: Most people don't. Arsé-kun: Yog: Most things don't. No one that lives there wants to live there, either. Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwwooooo! Arsé-kun: Yog: I agree, Cthaat. If a certain interloper would like to insert himself into the script, now would be the time. Arsé-kun: *Everyone's favorite Yellow⭐️Hoodie⭐️Myumon⭐️Eldritch⭐️Horror is here, and drawing on the map! He's drawing.... a self-portrait. Thank you so Fucking Much for your contribution.* Sheepy: Jauf: What IS that? Arsé-kun: Kay: ........ Gross. Arsé-kun: Yog: One of my cousins. He's the one responsible for breaking Artair's connection, as well as several fits of berserk madness back on campus.. Among other things. Sheepy: Jauf: I missed that plotline. Sheepy: Jauf: But I'm used to witnessing sudden bouts of madness. After all, I'm good friends with Sir Lancelot. Arsé-kun: Hastur: Disregard my presence. I merely wish to be here while the script is being writ so I can compare it to the finalized show. Sheepy: Jauf: I understand! It's no problem at all! Arsé-kun: Kay: Joke about the name of one of my buds who got affected here. Arsé-kun: *Indistinct milkshake slurping sound from one of the many orbs in this location currently. Thank you so much Yog for YOUR great input.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: So all we have so far is a quarter of a plan from Sir Griflet, a half-explored region, no idea where we're actually going.... And art. Sheepy: Jauf: And our shining star... Sheepy: Jauf: You, my king!!! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...?! Sheepy: Jauf: I don't have a role for you quite yet. I just thought you should be included in that list! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Do not assign people without a task. It'll make things messier, tactician. Sheepy: Jauf: I'm not assigning you. I just see you as an asset! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... While I appreciate it, save it for when we're done. Sheepy: Jauf: Fine, fine! Arsé-kun: Arthur: What I'm seeing is that most of us do not actually know what we're doing. Sheepy: Jauf: Fine, fine! Sheepy: Jauf: Well, what do we know? Sheepy: Jauf: We know that he's been kidnapped by a squid, but not his location. Sheepy: Jauf: We know how Rlyeh will look when we strike. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But not where he is. I would rather not make a blind charge. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmm... Sheepy: Jauf: How do we find out his location? Sheepy: Aru: 3's visions are through the eyes of any Merlin, he told me. Maybe he can pick a target? Arsé-kun: Primo: He can't pick, but there's always the chance. I'll ask him right quick. Sheepy: Aru: But can he force visions to happen? Arsé-kun: Primo: Actually.... First? Let's see what 14 is up to. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 15 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 17 Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Arsé-kun: *Merlin's been silently drawing on the map for the past.... However long he hasn't been speaking.* Sheepy: Aru: What is he drawing? Arsé-kun: *Hastur reaches up and starts futzing with the map, bringing up the internal display and fucking around at mach 7. Annoyed slurping noise from Yog in response. Hastur has changed size three times over the course of these sentences.* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Maybe it's useful? Arsé-kun: Hastur: This is far too slow of a planning scene, so I will offer some assistance. That which he's drawn is certainly inside of Rlyeh. Sheepy: Jauf: Including the location of Merlin's son? Sheepy: Jauf: That's an important detail we're missing. Arsé-kun: Hastur: I do not deal with time or space. I wouldn't know that. Someone here could easily share that information, but they're so stingy with spoilers. Arsé-kun: Hastur: What a waste of time this is. Sheepy: Jauf: It is! Arsé-kun: Yog: The more I help directly, the more I am expected to do so. I will not have mortals relying on me entirely. I refuse. Sheepy: Jauf: Would one consider Merlin a mortal? Arsé-kun: Primo: Questionable! Sheepy: Jauf: So then, it's fine if he looks to you for help, my friend! Sheepy: Jauf: No? Yes? Maybe we'll be forced to look for him when we're there? Arsé-kun: Yog: I would highly prefer that I'm not depended on for this. Everyone here is capable of achieving the conclusion they want without my stepping in. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Hastur: I found the cavern. I will step down here. Sheepy: Jauf: Well! Who's coming along? Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif's got a plan of some sort, so he kinda has to. Sheepy: Jauf: I'm coming along! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I believe I may be of some use, so please permit me to come along. Sheepy: Jauf: Merlin is coming along, I'm sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Sheepy: Jauf: No, no, not you. I never mean you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then be more specific!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, uh... I made this? Sheepy: Jauf: Now who would a Round Table member mean when they say the name Merlin other than the great troublemaker- I mean, mage himself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wasn't paying attention...! Sheepy: Jauf: Well, you did a good job for a man who isn't paying attention! Sheepy: Jauf: Your services will be of great use! Now we have a map of the inside of the dungeon. Good job! Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks a bit confused, but proud of himself! He helped!* Sheepy: *A mysterious man is nudging a face down Dove with a protein bar in the background... Oh, no, that's just Beddy.* Arsé-kun: Primo: Beddy! You're finally joining us? Sheepy: Beddy: *He's dressed in a hoodie, a facemask, and sunglasses. No face for you* Oh, um... I just felt rude not talking to the others first... Sheepy: Beddy:..Considering that they're the hosts. Sheepy: Aru: Beddy!! *She rushes over to him and hugs him! Beddy's here!* I missed you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Bedwyr, how great of you to join us! :D Sheepy: Beddy: *He returns Aru's hug* M-my king?! You're here?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am. We can catch up as soon as this meeting ends. Sheepy: Beddy: If I had known... I would've worn my armor...! Ah, this feels so disrespectful... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't mind. This meeting was not planned at all. Sheepy: Beddy: I see... Well, I want to help, too. Please bring me. Arsé-kun: Primo: You're always allowed! Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you.... Sheepy: Beddy: I pride myself in my speed and good sense of direction. Please use me however you see fit. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Since I presumably cannot die a second time, I think it would be best if you came with me. Sheepy: Beddy: Of course! I'll follow you to the figurative ends of the Earth, my king! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Figurative? Does it.... No, irrelevant. Thank you for agreeing. Sheepy: Beddy: Hmm.....? Well, of course there's no end to the Earth. If you keep walking and walking in one direction, ignoring the existence of water, you'll eventually just return to your starting point. Sheepy: Beddy: Because, you know, the Earth's round.................... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I know it's round, at least. Sheepy: Beddy: By the way, taking into account that the average walking speed of a human being is 2.5-4 mph and the Earth is 7917.5 miles in diameter, if one were to continue to walk in one direction without ever deviating from the average walking speed of a human being, never taking a break, and never encountering an obstacle such as water, it would take them between 132 and 82.5 days to return back to their starting position, rounding up. By then, anyone would've died from not fulfilling their needs, so don't try to accomplish this. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....... Sir Bedwyr, what have you done to know this? Sheepy: Beddy: .............. Sheepy: Beddy: Just don't try it, okay? My king? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm dead and can't leave the sword. How would I??? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck did you avoid the ocean on a horse? Sheepy: Beddy: So on horseback, it'd be a much shorter distance........ Sheepy: Beddy: Ah......no, I didn't put Butter through that. Arsé-kun: Primo: The way we went, there was way less ocean~~ Sheepy: Beddy: It was an enjoyable trip. Arsé-kun: Primo: Cold, though! Sheepy: Beddy: But the penguins were a treat to see! They're much different than the ones down under, mate! They carry their eggs on their feet. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...? Not to support a subject change, but what exactly is a penguin? Sheepy: Beddy: A flightless bird that swims in the water to hunt fish and outrun predators. Arsé-kun: *Arthur appears slightly puzzled, but shakes his head and opts to worry about it later* Sheepy: Beddy: Other than one species, they naturally only live in the Southern Hemisphere. Sheepy: Beddy: So there aren't any in Britain... Sheepy: Beddy: ...Naturally, anyway. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Show me later. We're in the middle of an attack plan. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah, sorry... After all this, we can go to a zoo and see them in person! Sheepy: Jauf: So what? Are we going to stealthily go in and take him without the squid seeing us? Sheepy: Jauf: Can we do that? Are we capable of that? Arsé-kun: Primo: Unlikely. We can't completely stifle our presence in his own domain. We can definitely be a distraction, though. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... For him to run? I doubt he's in the state to run. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It shouldn't have a reason to pay attention to a single man and a ghost when a very angry wizard is banging on it's door. Sheepy: Jauf: That's true... Arsé-kun: Hastur: Especially with a boat right there! He hates boats! Sheepy: Jauf: Really? Arsé-kun: Hastur: It's so funny, it's almost pathetic. Sheepy: Jauf: Amazing! Arsé-kun: Hastur: And Orbs here really h-- Arsé-kun: Yog: It sounds like someone wants their weaknesses exposed!! Sheepy: Jauf: Ehh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Presidential alert! The girls are fighting! Arsé-kun: Primo: Now, now, you two can share each others' weaknesses as soon as we're done here. I'm sure the king would love that sort of information. Sheepy: Jauf: My companion has no weaknesses that humans can exploit! Arsé-kun: Hastur: Humans, he says. Sheepy: Jauf: Which most of us are. Arsé-kun: Primo: I'm half.... Sheepy: Jauf:..... Sheepy: Jauf: One of us. Arsé-kun: Yog: No comment. Sheepy: Jauf: And he's napping right now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *hand raise* Does being a ghost count as human? Sheepy: Jauf: I'd say yes! Sheepy: Jauf: It doesn't make you non human... because... Sheepy: Jauf: Well, it doesn't. Arsé-kun: Yog: Agreed. You are still human. Sheepy: Beddy:...Ah, it's two. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. You forgot about me. Sheepy: Beddy:...? Arsé-kun: Yog: He's not human in the slightest, despite his appearance and ability to blend in with them. Sheepy: Beddy: I see... Sheepy: Beddy: So it's three, then. The entity you were speaking with isn't human either, of course. Sheepy: Beddy: But everyone knew that. Arsé-kun: Yog: *deadpan* Breaking news, the eldritch orb you've been speaking with isn't human. What a wild concept. Arsé-kun: *Kay is doing math in the background* Sheepy: Beddy: Well, I didn't mean you. Sheepy: Jauf: So! Merlin is bait, my king and Bedwyr are the frontlines, and Griflet and I are the backlines! Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, but who will carry the sword... Arsé-kun: Primo: We need more on the backlines. We can't leave the ship completely unmanned. Sheepy: Beddy:...? If you mean the Excalibur, if our king is incapable of holding it, I can carry it myself.. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can confirm this. He has express permission to do so. Sheepy: Jauf: I see! How convenient! Sheepy: Jauf: So who else do we bring for the backlines? Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe Kay's good at not drowning just like Cai? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not gonna test that! Sheepy: Aru: Speaking of testing, how did Cai know that his limit was a week? Arsé-kun: *Kay refuses to admit that he wants to come along. It's very obvious anyway* Sheepy: Jauf: Kay, you come along to be moral support. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can maybe do that. Sheepy: Jauf: Excellent! Sheepy: Aru: Um... Arsé-kun: Primo: To answer your question, Aru, because he came up and bitched about it. Sheepy: Aru: He must be a smart man to know his limits so well! Arsé-kun: Arthur: And then took a week recovering because he nearly drowned despite everything. No he was not at that age. Sheepy: Aru: Oh... Sheepy: Beddy: I wonder where Sir Cai is... Sheepy: Beddy: Meetings feel so unnatural without him. Sheepy: Beddy:...And everyone else... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I agree entirely. Arsé-kun: Primo: Sir Marrok was very important! Sheepy: Beddy: Seeing his fluffiness motivated me even more to protect the kingdom! Sheepy: Jauf: I once watched him bite another member while in human form. Sheepy: Beddy:...He probably had a good reason. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Brave Sir Marrok.. Sheepy: Beddy: He had much love and fur to spread around! Sheepy: Jauf: Especially for our king. Sheepy: Jauf: Even when he ripped that woman's nose clean off her face... "He's always been good to me, so it must be that there's something wrong with her." Arsé-kun: Arthur: It was so out of character for him up to that point, so it was very clear that she'd wronged him. Sheepy: Jauf: Well...... Sheepy: Jauf: In this situation, she waas bad.......... Sheepy: Jauf: But in most situations, I doubt that'd be the right play. Arsé-kun: *the knights derail by wondering how Sir Marrok as a werewolf technically worked.* Sheepy: Jauf: You know, he bit Sir Galehaut a few times on bad nights and Sir Galehaut never became a werewolf... Was Sir Marrok even a werewolf? Arsé-kun: Primo: It doesn't always spread! Sheepy: Jauf: But could it have? Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe because he was born that way, he couldn't spread it. Arsé-kun: Primo: Ex-act-ly! Sheepy: Jauf: How convenient! Sheepy: Jauf: Did I mention that he bit Sir Hector once while in human form? Arsé-kun: Arthur: He probably deserved it. Sheepy: Jauf: It was because he trapped Sir Marrok with one of his long, pointless stories. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Marrok has never done anything intentionally malicious in his life. Sheepy: Jauf: Kinda like when Cai learned juicy details about some drama and dumps them on you unprompted and not asked for. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You didn't like hearing that? Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I love listening to Cai. Sheepy: Jauf: Also... I can't argue that. I feel like he's the only one of us who could truly utilize that pouch Merlin made. Sheepy: Jauf: Hey, by the way, where did that money come from? Money doesn't appear from nothing. Arsé-kun: Primo: Wouldn't you like to know? Sheepy: Jauf: ...... Sheepy: Jauf: It... wasn't our treasury, was it? Arsé-kun: Primo: No, Cai would have had me by the throat if it were. Sheepy: Jauf: Does that wallet still exist? Arsé-kun: Primo: I know one of my grandkids has it... Sheepy: Beddy: Oh, um... Right, the one who has it is Misyr. It seems to work out well for him, but he was pretty rude the last time we met... Arsé-kun: Primo: He's under a lot of stress. All the time. Sheepy: Beddy: I suppose so... Sheepy: Beddy: But I think it's better not to punish others for it. Arsé-kun: Primo: Comment regarding your personal traits here! Sheepy: Beddy: Do I really punish others for how I feel? I need to work on that... Arsé-kun: Primo: That's not what I said. Arsé-kun: Primo: You know what I'm talking about, you cute little furball. ;) *non flirty* Sheepy: Beddy:?! Sheepy: Beddy: Y-yes... I do... Arsé-kun: Kay: What are you two Fucking talking about Sheepy: Beddy: Have you heard of koalas before? Arsé-kun: Kay: I know what a fucking koala is! Sheepy: Beddy: Well, they're nice and warm. If you're feeling down, you'll feel much better after giving one a hug. Arsé-kun: Primo: He's not wrong! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...... Recess over. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm.... What else is there to decide? Arsé-kun: Arthur: How will we be landing on the island? From what direction? Sheepy: Jauf: By boat. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ................. Sheepy: Jauf:......... Sheepy: Jauf: ................ Arsé-kun: Arthur: I figured that was a given, Sir Jaufre. Arsé-kun: *Kay stifling laughter.mp4* Sheepy: Jauf:..........Don't we need to know the weather for that? Arsé-kun: Arthur: One of you Merlins, can you get that much? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's gonna rain tonight I think. Arsé-kun: Primo: Maybe, if I knew what date to match it up to. Sheepy: Aru: Are you going tonight...? Sheepy: Aru: That's too soon. Arsé-kun: Yog: That would be far too soon. Sheepy: Beddy: I need to know as well, so I can mentally prepare... Arsé-kun: Primo: I would really like this done as soon as possible. Arsé-kun: Yog: I would say "Give it a few days for the humans to prepare", but humans tend to ready up remarkably fast. Sheepy: Jauf: Tomorrow, then! Sheepy: Grif: Tomorrow... Yes. I can do it. Sheepy: Beddy: It's so sudden... but I want to do everything I can to help Merlin. Arsé-kun: Yog: Tomorrow's forecast is! Stupidly cold. Rlyeh is near the Antarctic, after all. Arsé-kun: Yog: It is not yet December, so I am unable to give physical assistance. Not that I will have time to. Sheepy: Grif: I see... So get warm jackets. Sheepy: Jauf: On cold days, I'd always use Cai to warm up. Sheepy: Beddy: As would I... what a kind man he was. Sheepy: Grif:.....Or get Cai. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We are not finding Cai for something so frivolous. *as much as he'd like to as well* Sheepy: Jauf: So sad.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: He wouldn't help me, anyway. Sheepy: Beddy: My king.... Sheepy: Beddy: Please apologize the next time you see him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That first requires seeing him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I doubt he wants to see me. Sheepy: Beddy: Please don't give up on him so easily... Sheepy: Beddy: Cai is a good person. Just because he was angry at you for a while doesn't mean he'll stay that way. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, that's not giving up on him. Arsé-kun: *Primo finally does Actual Work on Planning in the bg. We'll come in from this way, land here...* Sheepy: Beddy: Isn't it? Deciding that he never wants to see you again simply because he stormed off? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I never blamed him for it. Sheepy: Beddy: ........ Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Arsé-kun: Arthur: So I am beginning to realize my self-esteem seems to have taken a hit as well. I need to work on that. Sheepy: Beddy: Yes, before Cai bullies you for it! Sheepy: Beddy: And he will! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I swear, Cai can sense weakness, like a snake or a very angry boar. Sheepy: Beddy: It's very scary... Just how does he do it? Mind reading? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Using his understanding of people for evil. Sheepy: Beddy: What a man... Arsé-kun: Primo: It's no surprise only one woman and one other person were able to tolerate...... Right, hi, Aru, I forgot you were there! You've been so quiet! Sheepy: Aru: .......? Sheepy: Aru: Well, I didn't think I should say anything... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Any input is appreciated. Staying on task seems to be a fool's errand. Sheepy: Aru: Um... I didn't really have any helpful input... Sorry. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Merlin has brought up something I definitely want to hear the end of. At this point, it's anything goes. Sheepy: Aru: Oh.... I see... Sheepy: Aru: I think you should make a gift for him! It'd show you care and feel sorry for what you did! Sheepy: Beddy: Would it really...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: *flatly* yes, let me make something when I am struggling to hold a cup. Sheepy: Aru:....... Sheepy: Aru: Well... um... Sheepy: Aru: I thought it was a good idea. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... No, I was just thinking... the last time my king tried making something, Cai got angry and left. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not something physical, though. Sheepy: Beddy: That's true... Sheepy: Beddy:....Maybe he will like getting a gift. Sheepy: Beddy:....Let's think about that after we save Merlin's son. Sheepy: Jauf: Do you enjoy waving death flags around? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We're already dead, and I highly doubt Merlin would allow Bedwyr to die. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, yes... Sheepy: Jauf:..... Arsé-kun: Merlin: How about we don't fly any death flags at all? Sheepy: Beddy:....? Sheepy: Beddy: It takes a lot more than that to kill me off... Sheepy: Jauf:....There's another one. Sheepy: Jauf: You're a man covered in death flags! Sheepy: Beddy: Actually, I'm covered in clothes. Arsé-kun: Primo: You keep saying things that the plucky sidekick of a fun hero movie would say, and then they'd die horribly. Sheepy: Beddy: But, well... Sheepy: Beddy: That's fiction. Arsé-kun: Hastur: You wish that's how it worked. Arsé-kun: *Hastur looks into the camera like in the office for a moment* Sheepy: Beddy: I think as long as we're careful and stick to the plan, it'll all turn out alright. Sheepy: Beddy: The plan being... Arsé-kun: Primo: Just goddamn gun it. Sheepy: Beddy: Yes. I'm fast! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Don't go too fast. I'm not sure of how fast I can go. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah? Alright... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Unless you drag me along, I suppose. Sheepy: Beddy: I'll drag you along, then! Sheepy: Jauf: Grif, Kay, and I will hang out in the boat. Arsé-kun: Kay: *who came back from an unsuccessful booze hunt* You'd better find one hell of a fishing rod. Sheepy: Grif: No need. It will extend torever until it hits the target. Arsé-kun: Kay: You trust a flimsy ass string with this? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh, whatever, whatever happens happens. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: We will see. Sheepy: Grif: Anything can be a fishing rod. Arsé-kun: Primo: Not to interrupt this thrilling conversation, but do you men think you could walk to the park tomorrow so I can pick you up easily? Sheepy: Jauf: Park? Which park? Arsé-kun: Kay: Probably the one a few blocks away. Me and Grif considered summoning this thing *he gestures to Hastur* there, but we had better ideas. Sheepy: Jauf: I see... Sheepy: Jauf: I will follow you there, then. Arsé-kun: Primo: Good, great. There WILL be a large-scale teleport, so if you're not good with those, good luck~ Sheepy: Jauf: Good luck, my king! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I will make sure to stay inside of Caliburn for that. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! Sheepy: Jauf: Good luck, my king! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Good luck to you as well. Sheepy: Jauf: Now why would I have issues? Arsé-kun: Arthur: If you were unable to deal with a moving vehicle, then a ship may be worse for you. Sheepy: Jauf:....... Arsé-kun: Kay: Big talk for the other guy who couldn't handle a car ride. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hey, Grif? Arsé-kun: Kay: I forgot the fuckin' meds earlier. You're fucked. Sheepy: Grif: Ugh..... Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll go digging around, but no guarantees unless Orbus wants to be of use. Sheepy: Grif: I hate water. Sheepy: Grif: What is our plan if the boat sinks? Sheepy: Grif: ....... Sheepy: Grif: How? Arsé-kun: Primo: The same way we're getting there. Sheepy: Grif: I see... teleportation... Arsé-kun: *Primo does NOT mention that he means "send everyone else away and complete the mission himself". No need for that.* Sheepy: Grif: What if.... Sheepy: Grif: What if someone is knocked off the boat? Arsé-kun: Primo: Lifevests and then it's a good thing I'm staying on board, huh? Sheepy: Grif: Hm.... Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: What if I close my eyes the whole time? Arsé-kun: Primo: I don't advise that. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Just stay under the deck until we reach the destination. That way, you cannot actually fall off. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: Beddy: Boat rides are fun! Arsé-kun: Arthur: They can be, yes. Sheepy: Beddy: Especially with your friends. Sheepy: Beddy:......... Sheepy: Beddy: I wonder if Sir Agravain has ever had a fun boat ride before. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I wonder if Sir Agravain has ever had fun. Sheepy: Jauf: I doubt he knew the word existed. Sheepy: Beddy: Yet, I think he did have fun sometimes. Sheepy: Beddy: When torturing people. Arsé-kun: Kay: So just like our Aggy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yep. He's a git. Sheepy: Beddy: I see! You know, though... Sheepy: Beddy: Sir Agravain was not a bad man. Sheepy: Beddy: He was incredibly loyal to our king, and very hard working. Arsé-kun: Arthur: And that made things infinitely worse. Sheepy: Beddy: Poor Sir Agravain... Sheepy: Beddy: In the end, he was used, wasn't he? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Can we change the subject? We're getting dangerously close to subjects I'd rather avoid. Sheepy: Beddy: Of course. Sheepy: Beddy: By the way... Sheepy: Beddy: How well can you swim? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm okay. Sheepy: Beddy: Really...? Just okay...? You can't stay underwater for nine days and nine nights? *He sounds very disappointed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: I wish I could do that. Sheepy: Beddy: Can you stay awake for nine days without needing sleep? Arsé-kun: Kay: That'd be so goddamn useful. Sheepy: Beddy: I see........ Arsé-kun: Kay: Another great day of being a human disappointment. Sheepy: Beddy: So you're just similar personality wise. Arsé-kun: Kay: Apparently. Sheepy: Beddy: But, comparatively... Sheepy: Beddy:............You're short! Sheepy: Beddy: It's good to be your own person, though! Arsé-kun: Kay: I better fuckin' be my own person. If I turn out to be a goddamn carbon copy of some old ass bitch, I'm gonna throw a fit. Sheepy: Beddy: Old...? Arsé-kun: Kay: You guys are old as shit. Sheepy: Beddy: Well, there's only one Cai. But there's only one Kay, too. I think it's good that you try hard not to just copy others. Sheepy: Beddy: However... Sheepy: Beddy:....I just thought it would be neat if someone out there had similar capabilities to Cai. People would make fun of it and call it weird, on occasion. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I miraculously develop the ability to do weird shit, you'll be first to know. Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you. And if people make fun of you for it, here is what you do... Arsé-kun: Kay: Tear them to shreds? Sheepy: Beddy: You throw rocks at them as hard as you can! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sic Griflet on them. Sheepy: Beddy: Exactly! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Bedwyr says if anyone's mean to me, I'm allowed to use you as an intimidation factor. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I'll do my best. Sheepy: Grif: I'll bite them. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe don't go that far. Sheepy: Grif:.......Hm.... Arsé-kun: Kay: Punch them in the face. Sheepy: Grif: How hard? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... On second thought that's a bad idea. Sheepy: Grif: Too bad... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't want you zombie exploding a normal person. Sheepy: Grif: Of course not. That would be bloody. Arsé-kun: Kay: So just hard enough to knock a bitch over. Sheepy: Grif: So slap them. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that works. Sheepy: Grif: Slap, slap, slap... Sheepy: Beddy: People will never make fun of you to your face again. Sheepy: Beddy: And one last thing.... Sheepy: Beddy: It's good to face the consequences of your actions head on... but it's better not to create those consequences at all. Sheepy: Beddy: Please don't taunt people who are twice your strength and can kill you with ease if they so desired. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what's the goddamn point? Sheepy: Beddy: Well... Arsé-kun: Primo: I came here to have a time and I'm feeling so attacked right now. Sheepy: Beddy: Both you and Cai are horrible about that. Sheepy: Beddy: You both just leave the problems you have to get worse and worse... Arsé-kun: Primo: There are a couple billion people. They can handle it. Sheepy: Beddy: And I am one of them... Arsé-kun: Primo: Yes, so thank you! Sheepy: Beddy:....and I am one of them! So please do not do that! Arsé-kun: Primo: Hey, I've gotten so much better! Arsé-kun: *Primo glances at Beddy. Doesn't say anything* Sheepy: Beddy:....? Arsé-kun: Primo: Don't worry about it! If I say it, that'll have consequences! Sheepy: Beddy: I see... I will worry about it... Arsé-kun: Primo: Worry harder, fuzzbucket. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah...! I will, I will! Arsé-kun: *Primo gestures towards the map that he's finished marking* Arsé-kun: Primo: The completed plans, everybody! Sheepy: *Beddy quickly exits while they're distracted by the map* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 8 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 5 Arsé-kun: *Arthur does not address anything that he'd just seen.* Sheepy: *Beddy returns and takes his seat again.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Do you count as someone twice my strength and could definitely kill me? Sheepy: Beddy: I do! But I would never kill you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hm. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well. Ain't my business. Sheepy: Beddy: .......? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... After. Sheepy: Aru: Beddy is kind! He would never harm anyone outside of combat. Arsé-kun: Kay: He could absolutely kick my ass, though. Sheepy: Aru: Most people could! Arsé-kun: Kay: ............... Arsé-kun: *Anime depression squiggly line effect over Kay.gif* Arsé-kun: Kay: thank you so fucking much Sheepy: Aru: ....I'm not so sure about 14, though. Sheepy: Aru: I think if you took him by surprise, you could win! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh? What? Sheepy: Aru: By tbe way, just so you know, I'm only including people that I know within "people"! So don't look so bummed out. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's still a lot... Sheepy: Aru: You're guaranteed to lose against every Merlin other than 14. Beddy and Bors could both mow you down. Griflet and Jauf could both defeat you with ease. But... Sheepy: Aru: 14, Bedi, Lucan, Artair, and Arturia would probably lose! Arsé-kun: *Kay thinks about how Grif nearly killed him that one time and shudders* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Crow could definitely win too, but you just need to aim for his weak point. His ego! You're good at that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hold on, Arty and Arty know what they're doing. Kick his ass. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I'm sorry, Kay... Sheepy: Aru:......I think Lucan is the only guaranteed one. Sheepy: Aru: But that's still someone! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... That ain't shit. Sheepy: Aru: But I'd cheer you on no matter how much of a disadvantage you're at. Arsé-kun: Kay: That really doesn't help. Sheepy: Aru: And you're only at this point now! You've improved tremendously since when I first came to your dorm. A year from now? I think you'll be so much stronger than you would possibly expect! Arsé-kun: Kay: You think I'm gonna last that long? Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Arsé-kun: *Kay did not mean to say that out loud* Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yeah, okay. Sheepy: Aru: I think you can do anything! Maybe you can't now, but one day you'll be able to! Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe. Sheepy: Aru: I'm not just here to cheer you on, though! I'm here to support you, too! Arsé-kun: *Kay has started to doubt if he should even be going on this mission. Won't he just get in the way...?* Sheepy: Aru:.....Sorry, did I insult you? Arsé-kun: Kay: A lot. Sheepy: Aru: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Arsé-kun: Kay: I know that. That's why it hurt so much. Sheepy: Aru: Oh..... Sheepy: Aru: I just think it's cool that despite the fact you'll probably lose, you work hard anyway... Sheepy: Grif: Should I slap her? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, Grif, it wasn't on purpose. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Aru: I mean, if you only fight battles you know you'll win, you won't learn very much... Arsé-kun: Kay: I have never picked a fight I could win in my goddamn life. Sheepy: Aru: But you seem to win often. Arsé-kun: Kay: Name one time. Sheepy: Aru: Well....... Arsé-kun: *Kay decides to invade Grif's personal space and throws his arms around Grif's shoulders, puts his head on Grif's shoulder, and Sulks. Mopes. Misery.* Sheepy: Aru: You fight your fears often, don't you? And you win out against them. Arsé-kun: Kay: I absolutely do not. Sheepy: Aru: I think you do! Arsé-kun: Kay: The one time I might've won, I fuckin'... ... Yeah, that wasn't a win at all. Sheepy: Grif: *He's flustered* Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure, I goddamn try, but it ends the same every time. Sheepy: Aru: Trying is the first step to success. Arsé-kun: Kay: Catch me fuckin' dissociating while stuck on that step. The next one's a mile up. Sheepy: Aru: And when you get to that next step, you'll be able to look a mile down and see how much you've improved! Sheepy: Jauf: Have you considered just fighting low level enemies to grow stronger? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd love to but where the fuck. Sheepy: Jauf: Most don't even have blood. Slimes. Skeletons. Things like that. Sheepy: Jauf: You were restricted to a tiny area with little in the way of enemy variety. Sheepy: Jauf: But there's all sorts of baby level dungeons all over the world. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do I look like I'm equipped for world travels. Sheepy: Jauf: You don't need to be! Sheepy: Jauf: I'll have you know... Sheepy: Jauf: Portable Death Towers! Just $100 and you can summon a dungeon directly to your front lawn! Loot included. You can pick low level dungeons with enemies from levels 1-5! There's ones with much stronger enemies, too. What a deal! When asked how he got a hold of Sir Bleoberis's blueprints, the man selling them responded... "No comment". Arsé-kun: Arthur: I understood none of that, except the part where you mentioned Sir Bleoberis. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Well, let me make it clearer... Sheepy: Jauf: You can put a baby dungeon anywhere, so long as you have money. Sheepy: Jauf: You are not limited by your inability to travel the world. Arsé-kun: Kay: As a college student, I... Really do not. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmhmhm... Sheepy: Grif: I have money. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe lets do one if we survive tomorrow. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Yog schedules this for Grif. Thanks for your input* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Sheepy: Jauf: The loot can actually be sold for more than the price you paid... Sheepy: Jauf:.....But that makes me wonder what they're getting out of it. Sheepy: Jauf: Although, knowing him... Sheepy: Jauf: He acts dumb, but he's really not. He's one of the best strategists I know. So something's up. Maybe that's a mystery you can solve on the way? Sheepy: Jauf: Or not. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Sir Jaufre? Who exactly are we referring to? Sheepy: Jauf: Oh, you know.... Sheepy: Jauf: *high pitched voice* Wowow~ You're the best, Bors! Sheepy: Jauf: I can't believe that guy ended up the king of France... Sheepy: Jauf: But I guess his job gives him easy access to poor old Sir Bleoberis and his blueprints. Maybe as a ghost, he just scribbles away all day, making blueprint after blueprint... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Lionel ended up the king of France?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Ah. Pardon my outburst, but it bears repeating: Sir Lionel ended up the king of France..?? Arsé-kun: Arthur: How?? Sheepy: Jauf: You know how Sir Lancelot was royalty? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Sir Lancelot.. Sheepy: Jauf: And Sir Lionel was also royalty, along with his brother. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That explains more than enough, actually. Sheepy: Jauf: Anyway, Sir Lancelot split up all their land among them and Sir Lionel ended up with the entirety of France. Sheepy: Jauf: I mean, me? I would've given him the tiniest bit of land, good strategist or not. Sir Lionel looks and acts like an easy mark, and the king is the face of his people. Yet, apparently he was a pretty successful king... Sheepy: Jauf: I'm sure Sir Lancelot knew what he was doing. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I doubt it. Sheepy: Jauf: He always had a competent vibe about him. Sheepy: Jauf: Although...... Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Right, I'm speaking with Lancelot fan number one. Sheepy: Jauf: ........... Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha! Number two, my king! I cannot compete with Sir Lionel! Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is fair, I suppose. Sheepy: Jauf: However... worry not! There is no man who I love more than I love you! Sheepy: Jauf: I was just going to mention that it was foolish of him to carry his diary on his person. Sheepy: Jauf: He dropped it once, and I, unaware of its nature, read it... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...... Sheepy: Jauf:............. Arsé-kun: Arthur: What was in it? Sheepy: Jauf: It was full of his feelings, of course. Some of which he put into poem form. Arsé-kun: Arthur: He wrote poetry..... ...... Was it any good? Sheepy: Jauf: I'm biased, but I believe so! Sheepy: Jauf: It was mainly love poems about Sir Galehaut and the queen. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... ..... Sheepy: Jauf: He discovered me flipping through the pages... and his face was a bright red. Sheepy: Jauf: "Sir Jaufre... please do not utter what you have read to anyone for as long as you live." Arsé-kun: Arthur: Good thing we're deceased. Sheepy: Jauf: I promised I would not... and I did not. Now, as you say, we're dead, so it's fine! Sheepy: Jauf: Some other entries of note... "Sir Gawain challenged me to Grifball today. He lost." A few days later... "Sir Gawain demanded a rematch today. He lost." ... "Sir Gawain said that he was training for a month for this rematch this time, and there is no way he will lose. He lost. By the way, Sir Bedwyr requested I try his cooking today. I could not remember what happened after that, but apparently I passed out..." Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... *failing to repress a smirk* Sheepy: Jauf: Poor Sir Lancelot! To be subjected to Bedwyr's cooking... Sheepy: Beddy: I never left... Arsé-kun: Primo: Well, you've improved since then! Sheepy: Beddy: Sir Lancelot fainted or looked pale every time he tried my cooking... Arsé-kun: Primo: That checks out. Your cooking way back then was.... Sheepy: Beddy: But every time, he looked me straight in the eye and said... "You're improving, my friend". Arsé-kun: Primo: ... There's no way around this, pal, it was bad. Sheepy: Beddy: I worked very hard to improve! I always put my all into everything I cooked! Arsé-kun: Primo: And all of the poisons in the cabinets. Sheepy: Beddy: Well... Sheepy: Beddy: After I saw the way it knocked Sir Lancelot out... Sheepy: Beddy: It made me realize just how effective it could be against a normal person. Sheepy: Beddy: Anyway, Sir Agravain enjoyed my cooking. Arsé-kun: Primo: I wonder why!!!!! Sheepy: Beddy: Before torture sessions, he would often request it. Sheepy: Beddy: I never saw him eat it. Arsé-kun: Primo: I WONDER WHY!!! Arsé-kun: *Arthur slowly placing his head in his hands,* Sheepy: Beddy:........ Sheepy: Beddy: Maybe he was shy? Arsé-kun: Primo: You didn't know? He used that for torture, in his torture chamber Sheepy: Beddy: Wh-what?! Arsé-kun: Primo: *very flat toned* Welcome to my torture chamber, I hate women Sheepy: Beddy: So he did feed his victims after all! What a kind man! Arsé-kun: Primo: Feeding them with something that was able to destroy Sir Lancelot! Sheepy: Beddy:........ Arsé-kun: *Arthur starts hysterically laughing into his hands. He held back as long as he physically could. Sorry, Beddy.* Sheepy: Beddy: E-eh?! Arsé-kun: *Primo looks proud of himself* Sheepy: Jauf: My king is dying a second time! Arsé-kun: Primo: The holy grail of round table meetings! Our King, emoting! Woah. Sheepy: Aru: Arthur can laugh?! Arsé-kun: Primo: Sure can! Haven't you noticed he always tries to keep that poker face? Sometimes he fails. Sheepy: Jauf: We have to rub this in Cai's face the next time we see him! Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, we absolutely do! He was laughing internally as soon as you started talking about Gawain and Beddy, so we can even timestamp it. Sheepy: Aru: I just thought he was awkward. Sheepy: Jauf: Of course, of course! Arsé-kun: Primo: King Awkward Pendragon~ Sheepy: Aru: That's his middle name! Arsé-kun: Primo: Shoot, is it? :) Sheepy: Aru: It is now! Sheepy: Aru: Arthur Awkward Pendragon....... Arsé-kun: Arthur: *still covering his face* No!! Sheepy: Beddy: Is that truly his middle name?! *...Beddy is completely genuine.* Sheepy: Beddy: I was unaware he even had one! Arsé-kun: Arthur: No! No it isn't!! Quit telling him lies! Sheepy: Aru: It's no lie! It's just a joke! Sheepy: Beddy: It sounded like it could be true... Arsé-kun: Primo: It could be if we convince enough people it is. Sheepy: Beddy: So it's the truth if enough people believe it... Sheepy: Beddy:.....Just like the information on the internet! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not how that works at all! Sheepy: Beddy: Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Really! Sheepy: Beddy: So many people have headcanons about me. I am unsure what a headcanon is, but they push that it is reality... Arsé-kun: Merlin: oh gods. How do I explain this. Arsé-kun: *Merlin the 14th now has to explain what a headcanon is to a medieval knight* Sheepy: Beddy: So simply... people come up with ideas that they feel are reality or should be reality? It is a personal interpretation that many may share? Sheepy: Beddy: I see, I see... Sheepy: Beddy: Please explain to me something I experience on occasion. Sheepy: Beddy: Do you know what "shipping" is? Arsé-kun: Merlin: oh no. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, I do. Sheepy: Beddy: Please explain to me what people mean when they say that they "ship" me with Memrys and we are an OTP. Where are we going to? Why are they so fascinated with postal services? Arsé-kun: *MERLIN NOW HAS TO EXPLAIN TO A MEDIEVAL KNIGHT WHAT SHIPPING IS. HELP HIM.* Sheepy: Beddy: Hm...? Sheepy: Beddy: But I feel no romantic affinity for him... he is just a friend of mine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: People are weird. You're not supposed to do that with real people. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unless you know them, I guess. I guess? Sheepy: Beddy: Hmm.... Well, it may not really be me... Sheepy: Beddy: Have you heard of vtubers? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I watch a few of those! Sheepy: Beddy: Ah? Do you? Sheepy: Beddy: Maybe you even watch me? Ahahaha. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wouldn't be surprised. I was already following grampa Myrrdin on twidder. Sheepy: Beddy: I see, I see! I don't use twitter at all! Sheepy: Beddy: What is it, anyway? A site to post birds? Arsé-kun: Primo: A hellsite. Don't bother. Sheepy: Beddy: You post Tweets on it, don't you? You know, the bird chased by the cat? Sheepy: Beddy: Could you really devote a whole site to that ugly thing? Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... Perhaps that's rude for me to say. I'm sorry for calling Tweets ugly... even if it is true... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, no, ugly ass bird. Sheepy: Beddy: I stream on occasion under the guise of... Polaris, the heavenly knight! Occasionally, I play games with Memrys, so I suppose that's why they would associate me with him. Arsé-kun: Primo: Memrys jokingly named me the Great Horror Prime when I complained while he was streaming and it's lore for the channel now. Sheepy: Beddy: I wonder what it means... Arsé-kun: Primo: Wouldn't you like to know Sheepy: Beddy: I would! Arsé-kun: Primo: Then ask him yourself. Sheepy: Beddy: I will... after everything is cleared up. Arsé-kun: Primo: Let's give these children some time to themselves. We've got preparations to make as well. Sheepy: Beddy: Of course! Arsé-kun: Primo: Once all this is over, Polaris and Memry Sideshow can stream a call of cth game. That'd be fitting, I think. Sheepy: Beddy: You're right. That would be fitting! Sheepy: Beddy: If you'd like, 14, you can watch! Sheepy: *Jauf has been lost this entire time. What is a Vtuber. What is a Memrys* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd love to watch you and grampa Memrys! Sheepy: Beddy: Wonderful! Arsé-kun: Primo: We'd best be going. I'm not gonna say it a third time! Sheepy: Beddy: Of course! *He joins Primo* See you tomorrow! Arsé-kun: *Primo grabs Dove by the collar before warping them all out. Hasta la bye bye!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin realizes a little too late that he's not actually on the plan at all. Oops* Sheepy: Aru: Tomorrow will be very scary... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It will be, but you are not going. Sheepy: Aru: But I will be worrying about those who do go. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm sure it'll go fine. Sheepy: Aru: I'm not. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It won't go perfectly. It may not even go well. But we'll succeed. Sheepy: Aru:...Okay. Stay safe, everyone. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We will do our best. Sheepy: Jauf: Two of us are dead anyway! Arsé-kun: Yog: Griflet cannot permadie excluding very specific situations. Sheepy: Grif: Kay will not die. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll fuckin' haunt you to death if I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd better fuckin' not, though. I ain't doin' that again. Sheepy: Grif: Of course. I will protect you. Sheepy: Grif: But if you fall in the water, I will not go in to help you. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can swim. You gotta work on that. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Water... I don't like it... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's rude to your pet water. Sheepy: Grif: Sorry, Elyan. Sheepy: Elyan: *he's ignoring all of this* Sheepy: Grif: Wow... He must be very upset... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hewwo.. Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *pat pat* Hewwo, Miwstah Ewwan Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwo!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who's a good bird? Is it you? Sheepy: Elyan:.......? ............! Sheepy: Elyan:..........you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! Thank you!! Sheepy: Elyan: .......!! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Elyan is a nice water... Sheepy: Grif: So sorry, Elyan. Sheepy: Jauf: I still can't beliege you taught him to shout "hewwo"... I doubt Cai could ever take him seriously now... Sheepy: Elyan:....! Hewwooooo! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't! I just said it and he copied me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not apologizing for it! Arsé-kun: *Arthur has retaken his loaf stance and plopped down next to Aru. how graceful, my king.* Arsé-kun: -Wednesday, November 17th- Sheepy: Jauf: Good morning, everyone! Are you ready to go yet? Arsé-kun: *Kay pauses eating to glare in Jauf's direction. Drowsy.* Arsé-kun: Kay: no. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, it's time to go soon, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Kay: He never gave us a goddamn time. Sheepy: Jauf: What? Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: At least let me finish eating before you rush me. Sheepy: Jauf: Fine, fine! Sheepy: Grif: *he's also eating breakfast. a rock free breakfast* Arsé-kun: *Good for him!!!* Arsé-kun: *arthur, jealous across the room,* Sheepy: Jauf: I can't remember the last time I needed to eat! Sheepy: Jauf: It's been so long... Sheepy: Grif: Wow....... I remember the last time I needed to eat. It was today. Arsé-kun: Arthur: "Needed to", Sir Jaufre? Are you still able to? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Of course I am, my king. Of course, my sense of taste is not as sharp as it was in life... Arsé-kun: *Arthur's jealousy burns within* Sheepy: Jauf:....? Can you not eat? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can barely hold physical objects. I doubt it. Sheepy: Jauf: I see..... Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder... will you ever get a physical body...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why would I? Sheepy: Jauf: You are destined to return as the king. Aren't you? How can you rule without a physical body? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...... Am I? Sheepy: Jauf:...Eh, well. Sheepy: Jauf: It's what I've heard. Sheepy: Jauf: You're the once and future king, after all. So they say. Sheepy: Jauf: So you should have a physical body... Sheepy: Aru: According to the stories... Arsé-kun: *Arthur looks to Aru* Sheepy: Aru: He was put on a boat and brought to Avalon, where his wounds were tended to. Depending on the version, Morgan le Fay is the one who brings him there. Sometimes, the Lady of the Lake accompanies her. Sheepy: Aru: If the stories are true, your body is in Avalon. Your spirit was supposed to be there as well, but it seems like you ended up bound to the sword instead. Sheepy: Aru:...I wonder if the Lady of the Lake is responsible for that? Sheepy: Jauf: Great, great! So after we rescue Merlin's son, we just need to go to Avalon and retrieve my king's body from my good friend! Sheepy: Jauf: Now, now! Tell us where this "Avalon" is! Sheepy: Aru:....Um, that's not... Researchers have been trying to locate it for forever! They don't know! I just know that it's good for agriculture. Especially apples. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Apples... I want to go to Avalon to eat lots of apples... Arsé-kun: Kay: *doing research on his phone* More shit to ask Old Coot Merlin about, apparently. Sheepy: Aru: I know there's technically a way to contact her. Sheepy: Aru:.....3! Arsé-kun: Arthur: The Lady is still around... Sheepy: Aru: She's married to the third Merlin. Sheepy: Aru: We could also ask their son, Angra... There's no risk of us asking the wrong Myrrdin... Sheepy: Aru: The austere one can be really mean. Plus, he'll get flustered if Vivian gets too close to him and basically die. So he's not helpful in this situation... Arsé-kun: Kay: He's useful at all? Sheepy: Aru: Well, of course. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why not ask the fuckin', uh, glasses one from the other day? Sheepy: Aru: Mint? I guess he does know just about everything... Sheepy: Aru:.....Maybe he'll answer without asking tons of questions in response. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You and Sir Merlin the 14th can do that while we're gone, yes? Sheepy: Aru: Of course! But come back alive so you can retrieve your body, okay? Sheepy: Aru: You too, Kay, Grif! I won't forgive you if you die! Sheepy: Grif: I am not looking for forgiveness. I am looking for apples. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Come back alive, she says. Sheepy: Aru: Well... Ghosts can die permanently, can't they? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Possibly? But I am not alive to begin with. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But if I come back alive, then there are more things to be concerned about. Sheepy: Aru: You think and act just like a living person... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I was one of those once. It feels like only a couple of weeks ago. Sheepy: Jauf: It was very many years ago... Sheepy: Jauf: I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting... Sheepy: Jauf: Yet now I wonder... Sheepy: Jauf:....After your death, you were in the sword all along, weren't you? Sheepy: Jauf: So why did you finally awake? Maybe it really is your time to rule once more! Sheepy: Aru: I don't know why it happened either. Sheepy: Aru: I'm just happy you did wake up! Arsé-kun: Arthur: As am I. Any longer and I doubt I'd be as stable as I am. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... You're probably right... Sheepy: Jauf: It's typical of my king to take a nap and oversleep! Sheepy: Jauf: If Cai were here, I'm sure he'd agree and complain about it! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would rather hear that than how I didn't at all. Sheepy: Jauf: Didn't what? Sheepy: Jauf: Did you undersleep? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is off topic. Sheepy: Jauf: Is it? Is it really? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Anyway, did Merlin really not give any of you a time? Sheepy: Jauf: You know, I never struggle with getting to sleep. Sheepy: Jauf: Here is the way to guarantee you get to sleep quickly and have good dreams... Sheepy: Jauf: Think about the things you love! Like weapons! And your wife! I think about how I have to get to sleep quickly to be fresh to serve my wife and my king... And then I awake in the morning, feeling fresh. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... My What. Sheepy: Jauf: Your wife. Guinevere! Ahahaha, what a lady! The moment I saw her, I knew I had to devote my everything to serving her! Don't worry, my king, you're on equal footing for her. I would starve for you just as much as I would starve for her! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ............. *he sighs* Arsé-kun: Arthur: That wasn't.. Arsé-kun: Kay: "Fresh to serve my wife", Jaufre? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmmm? Sheepy: Jauf: You'd like to know more about her? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm questioning why you worded it that way. Sheepy: Jauf: The moment she sent her men to kill me for scaring off her birds... Sheepy: Jauf:......I knew it was love! I was absolute infatuated! Sheepy: Jauf: I would cross every ocean for her! Just as I would for my king! Sheepy: Jauf: I love her just as much as I love my king! Sheepy: Jauf: She gave me a room to stay in, and during the night, her men snuck in and beat me. Sheepy: Jauf:....But my mind was too full of her to care! Yes, that is the one night I remember where I couldn't sleep at all! Sheepy: Jauf: By the way, when sleeping at a stranger's home, make sure to wear armor! Arsé-kun: Arthur: And be wary, they most certainly are talking about you behind your back. Sheepy: Jauf: And if you suspect they're after your life... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Killing them is no longer a socially viable answer, is it? Sheepy: Jauf: If you're capable of it, fleeing is perfectly acceptable! Arsé-kun: *Merlin stops shoveling cereal into his mouth in the bg to stare* Sheepy: Jauf: My king... Killing your host breaks the rules of hospitality. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So does killing your guest. Sheepy: Jauf: Well, that's their problem. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Being dead as a result would absolutely be your problem. Arsé-kun: Kay: If you two keep talking about murder, I'm gonna throw salt at you fuckers. Sheepy: Jauf: Salt? Sheepy: Jauf: My king... Have you been getting enough salt in your diet? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I haven't eaten. We've been over this, Sir Jaufre. Sheepy: Jauf: Well then. Sheepy: Jauf: Fire away, Kay! Arsé-kun: *Kay puts a little bit of tablesalt in his hand and throws it at them* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm? Hmmmmm? Arsé-kun: *Arthur tries to block it with his cape. This does nothing and Ouch. Ouch, I have been Attacked. -1hp* Sheepy: Jauf:.... Sheepy: Jauf: That's it? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's fucking table salt. What did you think would happen? Sheepy: Jauf: Well... Sheepy: Jauf: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I cannot believe you would call for such an attack on my person. *he's joking. again.* You, of all people. Sheepy: Jauf: Ah? I would never!! Sheepy: Jauf: What a terrible misunderstanding.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I was joking. Sheepy: Jauf:.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I'm going to go lie down. Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Sheepy: Jauf: My king believes I would betray him... Sheepy: Jauf: Perhaps I do not work hard enough to make my loyalty apparent.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It was. A. Joke. Sheepy: Jauf: My king... makes jokes? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am capable when not working. Don't expect it often. Sheepy: Jauf: Ah.... Sheepy: Jauf: It's too bad. Arsé-kun: *Arthur exits scene to go lay down and maybe get more than ten minutes of sleep, if he's lucky* Sheepy: Jauf: I wonder if he can't sleep because he doesn't get enough help... Sheepy: Jauf: I have to work harder to support him... Arsé-kun: Kay: With what? He ain't doing anything. Sheepy: Jauf: He's working hard to be able to hold things again. Sheepy: Jauf: There's a lot he can't do in his current state... It must be demoralizing. I want to help him be able to do the things he used to again. Sheepy: Aru: I'll talk to everyone who can help and see if Arthur can get his body back somehow... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We running a side-mission? Who we bullying for magic today? Sheepy: Aru: Oh, it's not really magic... Sheepy: Aru: Merlin, have you heard of Avalon? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Have I? Sure, of course. ... It's also the name of a card game I'm really bad at. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, well, it's where Arthur's body was brought when he was dying from his wounds from the Battle of Camlann. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see, I see, so where is it? Sheepy: Aru: He was supposed to be cured of his wounds and return to rule again. Sheepy: Aru: His body must still be in Avalon. However, nobody knows where Avalon is except for a select few. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Better ask Mint about it. Sheepy: Aru: Mint may know, of course... Arsé-kun: Merlin: So we can ask grampa Mint while everyone's busy! Sheepy: Aru: And Angra so we can speak to his mom. Sheepy: Aru: Or Myrrdin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Any of them. Sheepy: Aru: All of them! The more info, the better! Arsé-kun: Kay: You guys do that. Don't do anything stupid while we're gone. Sheepy: Aru: Well, all we'll be doing is texting people... Arsé-kun: Kay: I trust you. I don't trust Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) Sheepy: Aru: What can Merlin do to cause problems...? Invite people over? Myrrdin probably wouldn't come... Arsé-kun: Kay: Blow himself up. Sheepy: Aru: With a phone? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, I could if I wanted to. So could you. Sheepy: Aru: I just would not do that. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's why I haven't tried to move my phone with magic, obviously. Arsé-kun: *Kay leaves to get the rest of his stuff together* Sheepy: *Grif also goes to prepare* Arsé-kun: *Kay comes back 95% ready, goes to grab his coat.... Arthur is laying on top of it. Heck.* Sheepy: Grif: Hm.... This is a situation. Sheepy: Grif: Do you know that one trick? With the glasses? Fwoosh~ Sheepy: Grif: We just need to do that. Arsé-kun: Kay: What? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... It's when you pull on a tablecloth, and all the cups stay in place... Woosh. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's not gonna work with a whole person. Sheepy: Grif: A ghost. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, you can try if you want. Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 17 Sheepy: *Grif attempts the tablecloth trick with Kay's coat and succeeds! It comes out unscathed!* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 18 Sheepy: *Arthur, impressively, isn't dragged off the sofa!* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Okay, that was actually pretty cool. Sheepy: Grif: Wow...thanks. Sheepy: Grif: I'd never tried it before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't try it with an actual tablecloth. Lucan will come out of lurking to clean up whatever happens. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I haven't seen him much. Maybe I should do that. Sheepy: Grif: To lure him out of hiding. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... So sad... Sheepy: Grif: Well. He should feel better soon. Because Jaufre brought him that stuff. Sheepy: Grif: For now, we just have to focus on preparing to rescue that guy. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't actually catch his name. Maybe he doesn't have one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Merlin the second. Merlin 2. Merlin the sequel. Sheepy: Grif: Yes.... Sheepy: Grif: Merlin two.... Sheepy: Grif: Merlin two... Merlin two... Mertwo. Mewtwo. That's it. His name is Mewtwo. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... *rolling over to look at them* Sir Magnus, you mean..? Sheepy: Grif: No. I mean Mewtwo. Sheepy: Grif: I do not know any Magnuses. Sheepy: Grif: When will you be ready to rescue him? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am waiting for everyone to be ready. Sheepy: Grif: I am ready. You were sleeping. Sheepy: Grif: I do not know where Jaufre is. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Let us find out, then. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *raising his voice* Sir Jaufre, your presence is required! Sheepy: *Jauf comes in at record speed, holding a plate with food on it!* Sheepy: Jauf: My king! I'm here! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... He was eating breakfast...? Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, no, no, I was trying to get Lucan to eat. He kept insisting he wasn't hungry, but it's important to keep your strength up when you're ill! It seems leeches do not work for this problem, according to the kind doctor I met. Sheepy: Jauf: Anyway, what did you need me for? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We are going to be leaving soon. Please finish up what you were doing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell him if he eats, I'll let him help me with the inevitable laundry when we get back. Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhh... I couldn't get anywhere with him, but I'll just let him know that and leave the food with him. Sheepy: Jauf: *He leaves briefly before returning without the plate* Sheepy: Jauf: I'm ready! He seemed disinterested, but he may become more interested without me hovering over him... We're going now? Wonderful! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sirs? Are you both ready as well? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Let's go. Sheepy: Grif: We're going to the park. Arsé-kun: *Kay throws his coat over his shoulder like he's cool or some shit.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Then let's get going. It's only a fifteen minute walk. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, let's go. I've never been to a park before. Sheepy: Grif: I expect many cars. Arsé-kun: Kay: Only in the parking lot. Sheepy: Grif: That's what park is short for...... yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... No. Sheepy: Grif:.....? Sheepy: Grif: I want to see.... Arsé-kun: *They get the going* Arsé-kun: *They get to the park!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: *pointing to the playground* What is this for? Sheepy: Jauf: A training ground... for children? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean... Sort of? Sheepy: Jauf: I see! Arsé-kun: Kay: Playgrounds do let kids get exercise in..... So sure, yeah. Arsé-kun: *theres a smallish? manmade lake, a few benches, and the playground fence as well. Where all this is in relation to the party is... Who fucking cares. Lakes to the left. shut* Sheepy: Jauf: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: *Kay easily makes his way to the rooftop of the man plaything and sits there. He has clearly done this before* Arsé-kun: Kay: How long you guys think we'll be waiting? Arsé-kun: Kay: I bet either twenty seconds or three hours. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is investigating. What is this. What is This. Can he sit on thWHY DOES IT MOVE* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhh?! It moves?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I didn't expect it to move.... Arsé-kun: *Arthur warily moves to sit on a swing instead.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ah.... a suspended seat? Arsé-kun: Arthur: It seems so? Sheepy: Jauf: Hmm... Perfect for a man like you! Sheepy: *Grif is watching them while chewing on something* Arsé-kun: *Kay sends Aru a picture of Arthur on the swing* Sheepy: Aru: [text] He seems to be having fun! Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Aru] The horse moving when he sat on it startled him Sheepy: Aru: [text] Oh... Poor Arthur... Arsé-kun: Kay: [text] Could you ask Old Coot Merlin when he's showing up? Sheepy: Aru: [text] I think now! Arsé-kun: *Did anyone ask for AN ENTIRE PIRATE SHIP APPEARING FROM FUCK NOWHERE IN THE LAKE? BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN' GOT IT, KIDS!* Sheepy: Grif: Wow... It is a parking lot. Arsé-kun: *Kay takes picture of this after staring for a few seconds and also sends it* Sheepy: Aru: [text] I was right!!!! Sheepy: Jauf: A ship? Here? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the old coot, apparently. Sheepy: Jauf: Huh! Arsé-kun: *Head over? Y/N* Sheepy: *Yes. They head over* Arsé-kun: Primo: *from the deck* How do you do, fellow kids? Sheepy: Jauf: Ah! You finally arrived! Arsé-kun: Primo: Finally? You weren't there very long! Sheepy: Jauf: One minute lost is a minute you'll never get back! Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, but my king discovered a wobble horse! Arsé-kun: *Primo brings out a walkway! Come on up everybody! Don't ask where it came from* Sheepy: *Grif and Jauf enter the ship* Arsé-kun: *Kay and Arthur also get on* Arsé-kun: Primo: Welcome aboard! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Where is the board I must welcome? Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif. Sheepy: Grif: Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: Hm.... Arsé-kun: Primo: Below deck is this way! You probably don't wanna be up here when we move! Sheepy: Grif: No. I don't want to see water. Arsé-kun: *Arthur hops into Caliburn. Okay, he's ready* Sheepy: *Jauf joins Grif below deck* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows them.* Arsé-kun: Primo: Launching in twenty! It's about to get real uncomfortable! And cold! Arsé-kun: *The entire ship is teleported! EVERYONE feels that one. It's a massive shift* Sheepy: Grif: Ggghhh...! Arsé-kun: *Arthur falls out of Caliburn, clutching his stomach. hurghh.* Sheepy: Jauf: Couldn't we have avoided that...?! Arsé-kun: Primo: Nope! That's how this ship moves from body to body of water! I didn't design that! Sheepy: Jauf: But why?! Arsé-kun: Primo: Teleports are teleports! There's not much you can do about that. I've tried. Sheepy: Jauf: Ugh... Arsé-kun: *Kay also looks sick. No one got out of that one unscathed* Sheepy: *Except Beddy.* Arsé-kun: *Hi, Beddy!* Sheepy: Beddy: *He's in full armor, making his speech muffled and basically incoherent...* Sheepy: *Alongside his muffled speech, he's making incomprehensible hand motions* Arsé-kun: Kay: English, motherfucker. Sheepy: Jauf:.......Eh? .... He's asking... ah... ... Sheepy: Jauf: "Are you all feeling alright?" Arsé-kun: Kay: No. I wanna vomit. How's the rest of you holding up..? Sheepy: Grif: Sick... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ugh... Sheepy: Jauf:..."I'm feeling fine!" ... is what he says. Sheepy: Jauf: I feel horrible. Arsé-kun: Kay: How are we supposed to do anything like this..? Sheepy: Jauf: I just don't know... Sheepy: Beddy:....! ....!! Sheepy: Jauf: "You three will be staying in the boat as backup. I will be going in with my king. So, we are mainly waiting for my king to recover enough to be able to function." Sheepy: Grif: How... How can we be backup... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Give me a few minutes... Can ghosts vomit? Arsé-kun: *Everyone is Dead* Sheepy: Jauf: How can they if they haven't eaten anything? Arsé-kun: Kay: You can throw up without having eaten anything... Arsé-kun: *several 10+ dice rolls by md later* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... That the ship, or somethin' else? Sheepy: Grif:.......What is that? Sheepy: Jauf: My king's stomach is growling? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....... No, that's not me. Sheepy: Jauf: Ah? Well, I'm nor hungry, and these two have eaten breakfast. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ........... We may have a stowaway. Sheepy: Jauf: What? Sheepy: Beddy:.........? Arsé-kun: *Arthur reaches back into his cape fluff and out pops Fou, purring! iT'S HIM! A Naughty crime boy!* Sheepy: Beddy:....! ....!! Sheepy: Jauf: "Ah! It's Cath Palug!!" Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Really? This, Cath Palug..? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cath Palug was as black as the night sky and quite large... Sheepy: Beddy:....! Sheepy: Jauf: "It's a descendent of his, then!" Arsé-kun: Kay: Mystery solved... Sheepy: Grif: What is it? Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrpp! Sheepy: Grif: What is Cath Palug? Sheepy: *Elyan is stomping around in the background with his wings out. He's having fun.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: A monstrous feline that was able to kill men. Arsé-kun: *plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap plap ~elyan* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: But that's Bedivere's pet dog. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cai was supposed to slay it so I did not have to.... That is not a canine. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Sheepy: Jauf: Maybe he didn't slay it after all. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, he didn't. Arsé-kun: Arthur: He smuggled it back with him into Camelot. Sheepy: Jauf: What? Why? Arsé-kun: Arthur: "Wart, look at this big cat. Look at him" Sheepy: Jauf: Yeah, that sounds like him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: He was able to hold it like we would a normal cat when he was tree sized. Sheepy: Beddy:.... *He finally tilts his helmet up some, covering his face wifh his hand* Cath Palug... was very soft. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You stop that. Let me see you. Sheepy: Beddy: My king... I cannot. I am very unattractive. I would not want to inflict my face on you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Aru already showed me a picture. You won't be inflicting anything. Sheepy: Beddy: I didn't... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Let me see you. I won't judge. Promise. Sheepy: Beddy: She wouldn't do that... would she...? Sheepy: Beddy: Are you really so desperate to see my face to spread untruths about her...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... All right, that was half true. She really did show me pictures, but your face was covered. I never said it wasn't covered. Sheepy: Beddy: But you would. And especially before something like this, I cannot let you see it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fine. Afterwards. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... no... Sheepy: Beddy: I was hoping to never show you... Arsé-kun: Arthur: You make it sound like I never saw you before at all. Sheepy: Jauf: Man, you're willing to show it to Cai of all people... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's been so long and those comments are still with you... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Jaufre? I don't think we were violent enough to the cause. Sheepy: Jauf: It's true! We should've been a little harsher! Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... Arsé-kun: Primo: Are we talking about Beddy? He looks so much better now, thanks for asking! Sheepy: Jauf: That's great! Arsé-kun: Primo: We're almost there, so get off the floor please! Sheepy: Jauf: With how Cai chased him around with a hairbrush, I was worried he'd never start taking care of himself. Arsé-kun: Primo: ... And how did this get on board? *he bends down to see Fou. Fou bites his hand. 0 dmg* Sheepy: Grif: It hid in that guy's cape. Sheepy: Grif: Archer. Sheepy: Jauf: Arthur. Sheepy: Grif: Hm.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: That guy. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. It's you. That guy. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would assume so. I don't see any other furry capes. Arsé-kun: *Fou has joined Elyan in plapping up and down the halls. trot trot trot* Sheepy: *Elyan is happy that his friend has arrived and joined him!* Arsé-kun: Kay: You didn't notice we had a hitchhiker, old coot? Arsé-kun: Primo: *ignoring this* Jauf, hand Beddy the sword. I gotta show all of you where you'll be stationed. Sheepy: *Jauf gives Beddy Caliburn* Sheepy: Jauf: Well, I'll follow you! Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... i will take good care of it, my king. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of course you will. I trusted you with my weapons plenty of times. Arsé-kun: Primo: I'm at the steering wheel~ Come meet me there! Sheepy: Jauf: Ahhh.... To be my king's most trusted knight... How must it feel? Sheepy: Grif: *He heads to the steering wheel* Arsé-kun: *everyone get up there* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. When will we arrive at our destination? Arsé-kun: Primo: We're getting close! That's why I'd like to go over where everyone will be stationed and what to expect. Arsé-kun: Primo: I'd love to just throw you guys into it but we need to succeed, so I gotta suck it up. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Go on. Arsé-kun: Primo: You, Kay, and Jaufre are going to be ok the starboard side, by the reinforced railing. There's nets and stuff over there too if you need it. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: Primo: It sure is the right. Arsé-kun: Primo: Bedwyr, you and our King will be jumping off as soon as the port side gets close to land. Arsé-kun: Primo: You can absolutely see the cavern we planned to use. Sheepy: Beddy: I'll do my best! Arsé-kun: Primo: While you two are down there, I'll turn the ship around so you can board starboard, and so the fishing line will be closer. Sheepy: Beddy: Good idea. Arsé-kun: Primo: And remember; Big Green has a lot of squid children, and the ability to directly mess with your mind. If you feel anything wrong, report it to your teammate Immediately. Arsé-kun: *R'lyeh is coming into view! It's mostly rocks and weirdly angled pillars above water. It should have been eroded beyond hell, and yet.* Sheepy: Beddy: Ah.... So our king! Arsé-kun: Primo: For you, yes. Arsé-kun: Primo: Hmmm.... Actually, hold onto this too. Just in case. Arsé-kun: *Beddy is handed Seir. Yog makes a dissatisfied noise but otherwise doesn't comment* Arsé-kun: Primo: Grif has Paimon, so you can hold Seir for now. Just in case. Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you! Sheepy: Beddy: I'll take good care of it! Sheepy: Beddy: Are you ready, my king? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am. I'll take point, I believe I have the dungeon memorized. Sheepy: Beddy: Wonderful! Sheepy: *Beddy waits to be able to jump off* Arsé-kun: *Arthur waits with him, lining himself up with Beddy* Arsé-kun: *There's the cavern opening!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur doesn't wait for Beddy, jumping in as soon as he's able! Goodbye, king!* Sheepy: *...Beddy slips on the slick surface he landed on and lands on his butt! What a cool guy!* Arsé-kun: *Had Arthur not been a ghost, he would have hit the wall long before he ever hit the floor. How graceful* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... We are not going to discuss that. Sheepy: Beddy: It's good Cai didn't see this... Arsé-kun: Arthur: We would never hear the end of it. Sheepy: Beddy: Exacfly... Arsé-kun: Arthur: But we made it inside. *he looks around, and points* This way. Sheepy: Beddy: *He starts walking in thd direction Arthur pointed to* Arsé-kun: *Arthur quickly catches up and goes with him. They enter the next room... And they're on the wall of it. Not that they'd know this.* Sheepy: Beddy: Do we actually know his location...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We do, but this is... *he looks around, and then down at the door they're supposed to go to next* Sheepy: Beddy: .....?! Sheepy: Beddy: What...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: .. I think? Sheepy: Beddy: How concerning...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: The right way is the right way, no matter what. *he "rights" himself* Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... No, wait. .. This is confusing. Sheepy: Beddy:.....How do I... Arsé-kun: *Arthur shoves Beddy downwards. This corrects things somehow? The door is on the floor. Um.* Sheepy: *Beddy follows awkwardly* Arsé-kun: *The door they just left is now on the floor. The place they need to go next is where it's reasonably supposed to be.* Sheepy: Beddy: Is that the next dooor? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Definitely. Then stairs. Sheepy: Beddy: It's wonderful that you remembered all this... *He heads through the doorway* Arsé-kun: *Stairs! Stairs down a thin tower! Like spiral castle stairs. Without the castle, or the rails* Sheepy: *Bedddy starts descending the stairs carefully* Sheepy: Beddy: I wonder what's at the bottom of this staircase... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hopefully, the path forward. Sheepy: Beddy: Yes... Or a clue as to his whereabouts... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I know where is is, approximately. Sheepy: Beddy: That's fortunate... Arsé-kun: *For a moment, they both feel like they are being watched, but it goes away quickly.* Sheepy: Beddy:.....? *He glances around* Sheepy: Beddy: My king, did you feel that...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I did. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We'd best hurry up. Sheepy: Beddy: Right, of course! *He hurries down the steps* Sheepy: Beddy: Wh... what is this...?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Nonsense. It didn't shift around on the map.. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But the exit we need will be over there *he points*.... Eventually. It better come soon or I'll get motion sick looking at this. Sheepy: Beddy: I'm starting to feel sick myself... Sheepy: Beddy: *He moves to the wall and starts walking opposite to the direction of the movement* Sheepy: Beddy: We can cut it off in its tracks to get out of here sooner... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can go through the wall. I'm more concerned with you making it through safely. Sheepy: Beddy: Don't worry about me, my king! I'll be cautious! Sheepy: Beddy: But please do not split too far off from me... We should stick together. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't intend to leave you behind, Sir Bedwyr. Sheepy: Beddy:....! Th-thank you... Arsé-kun: *The exit appears!* Sheepy: *Beddy stumbles through it!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur follows him, half through the wall.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: It is rather strange how the map didn't exactly match up with what we're seeing. Sheepy: Beddy: It did represent how this place would look after we rescued him... Arsé-kun: Yog: *disgruntled, from Seir* It was a screenshot. I never said parts wouldn't move. Sheepy: Beddy: I understand... I think you gave us a wonderful resource, even if it isn't quite matching up to what we're experiencing! Arsé-kun: Yog: You're welcome. Sheepy: Beddy: How close are we? Arsé-kun: *They feel watched again..* Sheepy: Beddy:.......? Sheepy: *Beddy glances around* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Something's wrong. Sheepy: Beddy: There's something here... that's for sure... but where? Arsé-kun: *Arthur is staring at something across the room* Sheepy: Beddy:....? *He follows Arthur's gaze* Arsé-kun: *A cthulhu statue? No. No, it's moving. That's alive!* Sheepy: Beddy: Wh...?! Is that...?! Sheepy: *Beddy prepares his lance!* Arsé-kun: Yog: Wait. That's a Cthulhi. Killing it will alert the rest, as well as the parent. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...! *he shakes his head and looks elsewhere* Let's get out of here, quickly. That's dangerous. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah... right...! I'll follow your lead! Sheepy: *Beddy follows Arthur out of the room! He doesn't notice that Arthur was affected by the Cthulhi.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Don't, don't look those things in the eye. Advice. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah...! I won't! Worry not, my king! I'm used to avoiding people's gazes! Sheepy: Beddy: How do we get past it, then..? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We don't. We don't need to go that way. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah? Really? That's lucky for us... Arsé-kun: *The way forward is blocked by another one. Arthur makes sure to look away from this one.* Sheepy: *Beddy also avoids its gaze* Arsé-kun: *That's easy for you Beddy, you have a gigantic clonky helmet* Arsé-kun: *It doesn't do anything, it's just watching them.* Sheepy: Beddy:.....*He feels uncomfortable about it watching them, but he continues to act like it doesn't exist* Arsé-kun: *Moving past this one, there's more. One tries to poke Arthur. What's This?* Sheepy: Beddy:...!!! Oh, um...! *How will he peacefully distract it from Arthur...? Ah, that's right.. He rifles through his bag some* Hello there! Did you want this? *He holds out a candy bar for it* Arsé-kun: *This is accepted. A few Cthulhi gather to investigate what they've been given.* Sheepy: Beddy: If you open the wrapper, there's food inside. Arsé-kun: *Beddy, they have no reason to understand English. Or helmet muffled welsh-aussie. I think they can figure it out* Sheepy: *He's trying to be polite!* Sheepy: *Beddy continues following Arthur* Arsé-kun: *Progress is being made!!* Sheepy: Beddy: You know... they startled me at first, but they seem to not mind us... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Perhaps they didn't know what we were? Sheepy: Beddy: Maybe... Sheepy: Beddy: How close are we...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We're getting close. Arsé-kun: *As they're walking, they hear a faint click as Beddy's heel sinks into the floor a little.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Loose flooring? Sheepy: Beddy: Wh...? Here? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Perhaps? Sheepy: Beddy: I suppose that's not so strange... They wouldn't be able to do maintenance often... I think. Arsé-kun: Arthur: How would you even fix something like this..? Sheepy: Beddy:......Super glue! Arsé-kun: *There's some dripping from above. Of course. They ARE underwater* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Pardon? Sheepy: Beddy: It's a substance that sticks two things together. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Huh. Arsé-kun: *Very brief pause as the camera moves upwards* Arsé-kun: *Can super glue do anything about the stone doors on the wall above them that just swung open, letting a massive cascade of ocean water flood in??* Sheepy: Beddy: !!! A-aaahhh!! Art-!! Arsé-kun: *The water catches him!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is quick to grab Beddy's wrist and tries to stay in place!* Sheepy: *Beddy's panicking!* Arsé-kun: *So is Arthur! His grip is definitely slipping!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hold on, Bedwyr! Whatever you do! Sheepy: Beddy: .....!! *He's having trouble hearing Arthur!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is straining to hold on!* Sheepy: *Beddy's desperately trying to hold on! He's terrified! He doesn't want to be swept away!* Arsé-kun: *Almost as quickly as it started, the flooding stops, with the doors shutting and the water draining out through various sewer grates (?). Everyone survived.* Sheepy: Beddy: A-aaahhh.... *He's whimpering and shaking.* I...is it... over? Arsé-kun: Arthur: *between heavy pants and wheezes* I.... Think, so...? Arsé-kun: *Arthur doesn't let go of Beddy's wrist still* Sheepy: Beddy: My king... are you okay...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Disregard me. Are you okay, Bedwyr..? Sheepy: Beddy:.......I think so... Arsé-kun: Arthur: That was terrible... Sheepy: Beddy: Y...your...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I said what I said. Arsé-kun: *Arthur wrings out his cape. A comedically placed starfish falls out.* Sheepy: *Beddy's unsure if he actually heard that! His feelings of being shaken up have now been replaced with being flustered! He's his king's best friend? Really?* Sheepy: Beddy: Ahaha... I'm drenched.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: As am I.... Did it get into your helmet? Sheepy: Beddy: It did... but I can handle it! It won't bother me! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Shall I look away for you? Sheepy: Beddy:.....Do you promise? Arsé-kun: *Arthur goes on a bit ahead, not looking back. That's a yes* Arsé-kun: *The camera follows Arthur. Beddy is safe another day* Sheepy: *Beddy takes off his helmet and pours the water out of it* Arsé-kun: *Arthur Does Not See It.* Sheepy: *Beddy puts his helmet back on* Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you... I'm done now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I found him. Come help me, please. Sheepy: Beddy: Of course! *He rushes to help Arthur* Arsé-kun: *There is a man here, and he's clearly been here a very long time! The chains have been completely rusted away and replaced by tentacles made of stone. Possibly more than once.* Sheepy: *Magnus is asleep with a strained look on his face. He seems to be having a nightmare... He's pale to the point of looking sickly, and his breathing seems to be irregular* Sheepy: Beddy: Ah...! We just need to get rid of these tentacles... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Immediately. This man shouldn't be alive in such a condition... Sheepy: *Beddy starts trying to remove the stone tentacles* Arsé-kun: *Under his hands, Beddy can feel a clear pulse. This isn't. This isn't stone at all.* Sheepy: Beddy:....Ah! *He pulls his hands away* M-my king...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: What's wrong? Sheepy: Beddy: Whatever it is, it's alive! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ?! Sheepy: Beddy: Wh-what do I...? Arsé-kun: Yog: I am not required here, but I can make it easier for you as a favor to Primo. Would you like the assistance? Sheepy: Beddy: Please...! Sheepy: Beddy: I'll give you the rest of the chocolate in my bag later... Arsé-kun: *Yog speaks up in Rlyehian. The Cthulhi holding Magnus lets go* Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you...! *He gently lifts Magnus* Arsé-kun: Yog: I was going to assist before you made an offering... I'm holding you to it now. Sheepy: Beddy: My king! Let's get out of here! Sheepy: Beddy: Of course! I would never go back on my word! Arsé-kun: Arthur: And quickly. No repeats. Sheepy: *Beddy begins rushing to the exit!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur follows him, of course, only taking point to show where they're going* Sheepy: *Beddy appreciates it because he doesn't remember the path he took to get there* Arsé-kun: *They're DEFINITELY being watched as they go!* Sheepy: Beddy: Oh...! I hope they aren't mad...! Arsé-kun: *It's not the Cthulhi. They're not doing anything against the party.* Arsé-kun: Yog: Hurry up. Sheepy: Beddy: *He starts running faster! There's the speed he's known for!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur starts struggling to keep up, but he's getting dragged along anyway so it's fine. He can also take shortcuts through walls* Sheepy: Beddy: How close are we to surfacing?! I don't like this! We should try to avoid combat as much as we can! Arsé-kun: Yog: Approximately four rooms remaining. Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... We have to go UP..! Sheepy: Beddy: Up...?! Sheepy: *Beddy looks up* Arsé-kun: *The door is in the right place, but the room beyond is shifting. And after that is... The weird rooms* Sheepy: Beddy: ?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: These rooms..! How are we supposed to get back through...?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't think I could carry you again! Sheepy: Beddy: I don't know! I don't think I could make that jump, either...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: *to Yog* Sir? Arsé-kun: Yog: The method is readily available. I will not say it. Sheepy: Beddy:....... Sheepy: Beddy: I... I have one plan... ... But... You have to promise me you won't judge me...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I will only judge positively. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You have my word. Sheepy: Beddy: Ghk... *He bends down slightly, readying a jump... Out spring shiny, purply-black feathered wings from his back! He takes a leap and uses his wings to propel himself through the door!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ?!?!! Arsé-kun: *Arthur is so surprised that he forgets to follow for a moment!* Arsé-kun: *And then he does anyway, with no choice in the matter. Yoink* Sheepy: Beddy: *He puts his wings away as soon as he's on the floor of the next room.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: *from a bit farther back* Why have you never told me how cool you are, Bedwyr?! Sheepy: Beddy: Th-that's...! It's not...! It's a curse...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: What a useful curse! And so beautiful as well.. Sheepy: Beddy: A-ah?! N-no, ugly and monstrous...! It's the effect of the curse thst makes you believe it's beautiful, I'm sure...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: No, I'm sure. I've decided you're a songbird. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah?! Sheepy: Beddy: If that's what you believe... I cannot stop you... Arsé-kun: Arthur: You used to say you weren't a songbird because you couldn't fly. Unless this is a new development? ... Not my business. Sheepy: Beddy:....No, it's not new... Sheepy: Beddy: But we don't have time to worry about that... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Is this why Cai would... Yes, of course. Let us finish our ascent. Arsé-kun: Arthur:.... But listen, Beddy. I allowed Merlin into the court, and he was called the Anti-Christ. I don't care What you are. You're a knight. Sheepy: Beddy:.....Thank you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of course. If anyone asks, that did not happen. Sheepy: Beddy: He and I are... very similar. Born to women who never slept with a man to birth us... I just took a little bit more after my biological father... too much. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So the helmet is... A safety precaution? Sheepy: Beddy: I am an ugly monster. Even the priests could do nothing to erase that from me... But my ugliest feature is my eyes. Sheepy: Beddy: Yes... it is. Arsé-kun: Arthur: They never seemed harmful when we were younger.. Sheepy: Beddy: W-well... Sheepy: Beddy: I would like to feel confident like him and be about to show my face to the world... but I... ...Ah? S-something's....?! *A fishing rod has hooked him!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: And there's Sir Jaufre's contribution, along with Sir Griflet. Sheepy: Beddy: Ah...! *They start reeling him up* P-please forget everything, my king! I apologize for troubling you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I will be doing no such thing, but I won't say anything. Sheepy: Beddy: Thank you...! Sheepy: *Beddy is reeled up by the fishing rod!* Arsé-kun: Kay: You fuckers actually did it..! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... We did it. Sheepy: Beddy:....!! Sheepy: Jauf: I never expected this! Seriously! I thought that plan was moronic! Arsé-kun: *Kay offers Beddy his hand to help him get over the railing, sees the problem, and grabs his arm instead* Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrow! Sheepy: *Beddy is glad to have the help. He's exhausted.* Arsé-kun: Yog: a 1/356252 chance, no. With all factors, it was closer to a 1/500. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... What a chance... Arsé-kun: *Arthur is also exhausted.* Arsé-kun: Yog: It took several tries to extend the rod's reach as well, and the plus five bonus added to it. Sheepy: Beddy: *He's shivering all over! It's cold! He's drenched! At least Magnus is safe now!* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Arsé-kun: Kay: You morons are drenched..! What'd you goddamn do?? Sheepy: Beddy:......!!! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Erm.. Sheepy: Jauf: "I set off a trap...! The water nearly swept me away!" Arsé-kun: Kay: What sorta indiana jones shit is this..? Sheepy: Jauf: What's an Indiana Jones? Arsé-kun: Kay: Movie series. It's okay, I guess. Sheepy: Beddy:..........! Sheepy: Jauf: "Merlin... We have safely returned with Magnus, but he doesn't seem to be doing well...!" Arsé-kun: *Primo approaches, very distressed* Sheepy: *Magnus hasn't woken up! However, he seems to be suffering less than he was earlier...* Arsé-kun: *... There's actually two Primos. One is lifting the anchor, the other has approached. The Myrrdin trick.* Sheepy: Beddy:.............. Sheepy: Jauf: "...I'd like to sleep, too... It's so cold..." Arsé-kun: *Primo 1 gently takes Magnus from Beddy* Arsé-kun: Primo 2: *across the way* Not in those clothes you aren't. Sheepy: Jauf:....Hey, wait, you don't want to do that! Man, if only Cai were here! He was great at warming people up! When it was cold out, we'd all crowd around him for warmth! Sheepy: Beddy:......... Sheepy: Jauf: "I don't think I brought spares........" Sheepy: Beddy:.......... Arsé-kun: Primo 2: I'm sure Magnus won't mind if you steal clothes for a day or so. Get going. Sheepy: Jauf: "I need to dry my hair, too.... My helmet was drenched as well...." Arsé-kun: Arthur: As was I. That trap was cruel. Sheepy: Jauf: Ah, but it would be nothing to Cai! What a guy! Arsé-kun: *Primo 1 leaves the deck with Magnus.* Arsé-kun: Kay: I could... Try? Sheepy: *Beddy is exhausted and doesn't want to move.* Sheepy: Jauf: Ahahaha, well... He was a super warm guy. Literally. Arsé-kun: Primo 2: Don't you lay down here. We will be teleporting again in a bit, and if you fall off the deck, it won't be my problem. Sheepy: Beddy:..... Sheepy: Jauf: "I'm exhausted..." Arsé-kun: Primo 2: I am not carrying you. I have work to do. Arsé-kun: *Primo 2 is an Austere, it seems, so 1 is the og* Sheepy: Grif: *He grabs Beddy's leg and starts dragging him across the ground to the bottom deck* Arsé-kun: *Kay grabs Beddy's upper half* Arsé-kun: *Arthur cuts through the floor and lays down on the floor. Exhausted* Arsé-kun: *Yog pops out some confetti on the way down. Hooray.* Sheepy: *Elyan is stomping around and has his tail spread out. Horray! Everyone is happy!* Arsé-kun: *Fou joins him again* Sheepy: *Elyan looks over at Beddy, but he's not smart enough to consider drying him off* Arsé-kun: *Arthur at least had the mind to change suits before passing out right there on the floor.* Sheepy: *Grif plops Beddy on the floor* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... How do we dry him off? Arsé-kun: Kay: I could start a fire? But that's not a good idea. Sheepy: *Elyan zooms past them. He's having fun. plap plap plap* Sheepy: Jauf:........ Arsé-kun: *Fou fou fou fou trot trot trot trot* Arsé-kun: Kay: Towels? Like normal fucking people? Sheepy: *Jauf grabs Elyan the next time he passes by and starts rubbing him on Beddy's clothes* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Or that? Sheepy: *Elyan is wiggling some but otherwise seemd unbothered* Sheepy: Grif: Towel... Where is a towel...? Sheepy: Grif: For his hair. Arsé-kun: Kay: I might've seen one somewhere..? Sheepy: Grif: I'll remove his helmet while you look. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's gonna kill us later. Sure. Sheepy: Grif: I will simply not die. For you. Arsé-kun: Kay: God, I'd love that. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. You too. Arsé-kun: Kay: E-eh? Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: That's how it goes... probably. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... No it is not!! Arsé-kun: *Kay understood it anyway.* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: *Kay hurries off to find a towel or ten* Sheepy: *Grif starts removing Beddy's helmet. One of his wings pop out and smacks Grif in the face before both wings wrap around Beddy. Burrito* Sheepy: *Grif removes his helmet* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... What are you doing? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.. Sheepy: Grif: So this is what ugly looks like... I understand now. Arsé-kun: Yog: It does not. He is a liar. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ?!!! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Lying is bad... Sheepy: *Beddy's already asleep...* Arsé-kun: *Arthur immediately comes over and sits down next to Beddy, and then throws his cape over him. Hidden* Arsé-kun: Arthur: He would like to not be looked at. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Then how do we dry his hair? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't understand it either... And I only mean to cover his face, as well as... Uh. That. Sheepy: Grif: ??? Sheepy: Jauf: Aw, I was wrangling Elyan and missed the reveal... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am personally forbidding you from mentioning either of these things to anyone else, Sir Griflet. Let the man have his secrets. Sheepy: Grif:????? Sheepy: Grif: Is it a shock that he has hair? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not that. Sheepy: Grif: He looks normal to me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I suppose that is fair. Sir Jaufre, no peeking. Sheepy: Jauf: I won't, I won't. Sheepy: Jauf: As curious as I am... Arsé-kun: *Kay comes back with a stack of towels* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Arsé-kun: Kay: I found them. The hell's happening here? Sheepy: Grif: Arthur is hiding him so his face can't be seen. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why's that important? Who cares? Arsé-kun: *Kay plops down the stack and pulls out a hair drier from the middle of the stack* Arsé-kun: Kay: And I found this. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Arsé-kun: Primo 2: *over a megaphone* We will be teleporting back within five minutes. Brace yourselves. Sheepy: Grif: I am braced. Sheepy: Jauf: Guess I just need to hold onto Beddy… Sheepy: *Elyan has joined Fou again* Sheepy: Grif: Is there an electrical outlet to plug that into…? Arsé-kun: Kay: uh Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: *Primo (2) Austere is not patient and teleports the ship as soon as he is able to. Fuck all yall* Arsé-kun: *... And according to the dice rolls (not shown), everyone is fine afterwards!* Sheepy: Grif: Ah...... it's not as bad this time......... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I suppose since we now know what to expect. Sheepy: Jauf: Makes sense to me. Sheepy: Grif: Now that we've returned... Hm....... Now what? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Have we? We cannot be sure of where we are until someone checks. Sheepy: *Grif heads to the top deck* Arsé-kun: *They're back at the park. It's time to heckin' go I guess.* Sheepy: Grif: *He peeks his head back down* It's the park. People ae here. Arsé-kun: Kay: A little more specific? Sheepy: Grif: Aru. Merlin. Uhhh... Sheepy: Grif: That guy. Sheepy: Grif: The one who doesn't like me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dad? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess we go, then..? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Jauf:....Wait. Sheepy: Jauf: Bedwyr has Caliburn. Sheepy: *Jauf exits to give Arthur space* Arsé-kun: *Kay puts the towel stack to the side with the hair drier and then leaves* Sheepy: *Grif returns to the top deck* Arsé-kun: *Arthur takes his cape off (leaving it on Beddy), and stops to figure out how to go about this.* Sheepy: *Beddy's sleeping through this...* Sheepy: *Beddy's keeping Caliburn safe by hugging it close to him! You have to get through him to take it!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur tries to take Caliburn from him with... Results of some sort* Sheepy: *Beddy ignores him.* Arsé-kun: *Arthur reaches straight through Beddy's wings to try and move the sword at least a little bit* Arsé-kun: Arthur: *ahem* *sternly* Sir Bedwyr, my sword. Sheepy: *Beddy groans some before suddenly smacking Arthur in the face with his wing! There goes the cape, too.* Arsé-kun: *Arthur looks away. Drat* Sheepy: *Beddy mumbles something before rolling onto his side. It's not a workday! He doesn't have to wake up early!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur accepts his fate and sits back down, facing away from Beddy. Welp.* Sheepy: *Beddy whimpers and starts mumbling again, but at least he doesn't smack Arthur this time!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ........ Arsé-kun: *Arthur decides fuck this, he will consult a wizard about this.* Arsé-kun: *After finding Primo, Arthur goes through the floor to the upper deck. He can't really go much further than that. High ceiling.* Sheepy: Aru: It's not because I'm interested in going there! I want to help Arthur! He's supposed to have his body, isn't he? That's what the stories imply...! Arsé-kun: Primo 2: Not yet. That's all I can say on the matter. Sheepy: Aru: But... Arsé-kun: Primo 2: You can't rush these kinds of things. Sheepy: Aru: Why? What would happen...? Arsé-kun: Primo 2: .... I can't think of a fun way to avoid this! Uh oh. Arsé-kun: Primo 2: There's only one way to resolve this. Arsé-kun: *Primo 2 hugs Aru and poofs himself. thanks so much......* Sheepy: Aru: Ugh...! He's such a jerk sometimes! Sheepy: Aru: He's almost as helpful as 3! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *three feet away* What gives? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Are you two still working on that? *he's trying to get over there. trying* Sheepy: Aru: He can split himself in two, like 3! And just like 3's clone, he basically dies when someone he cares about crowds him too much! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, we saw that earlier. One was steering, and the other is with Sir Magnus. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Arthur...! I'm sorry... We couldn't get into contact with Vivian, and Mint ended up grilling us for answers to his questions rather than giving us any information... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't mind. I'm more worried about Merlin getting the sword back from Bedwyr right now. Sheepy: Aru:...Beddy has your sword and won't give it back? Sheepy: Aru: Well, have you asked three times? That worked for him before... Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I am NOT doing that. Sheepy: Aru: I understand! It's a sore topic for him! Arsé-kun: *Arthur suddenly jerks forward a bit, and there's muffled swearing below deck. Ah.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Seems Merlin got it. Sheepy: Aru: Ah?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Seems Merlin got it. Sheepy: Aru: Ah?! Sheepy: Aru: Why was Beddy so keen on keeping it...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: He fell asleep holding onto it and I didn't want to be rude. Sheepy: Aru: I understand! He's near impossible to wake... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Some things never change. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Tell me. Is there something wrong with his face? Sheepy: Aru:...Huh? His face? Sheepy: Aru: No, he's the prettiest man I know. He looks like he should be a model. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I had full opportunity to look, but I refuse.... Ah. I see. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So That still bothers him, huh..... Sheepy: Aru: Ah, but don't look too deeply into his eyes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Don't tell me he can do the Merlin charisma thing. Sheepy: Aru: When he tries to convince you of things, he may lock eyes with you... and then you feel a tug at the back of your brain. Arsé-kun: Arthur: This explains a lot... Sheepy: Aru: "Maybe I do agree with him! He has a point!" Sheepy: Aru: Apparently, he knocked Merlin out with it the other day! Arsé-kun: Primo: No, that was both me and Beddy at once. Thanks so much for pulling, my king, that hurt! Sheepy: Aru: Huh? So he can't do that by himself? Arsé-kun: *Primo enters scene with a bruise on his face from a sword pommel smacking into his face at mach 7* Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, no, he could. 14 just experienced both of us at once. Sheepy: Aru: Teacher!! *She rushes to hug him. Hello!* What happened to your face? Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Primo: I got a sword pulled into my face by Someone Pulling Too Hard. Arthur. Sheepy: Aru: Arthur... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oops. Arsé-kun: *Aru is handed Caliburn after getting hugged back* Sheepy: Aru: Thank you! Arsé-kun: Primo: We have a couple of minutes before I have to get out of here. Shall I regale you two with the tale of Arthur and Bedwyr's journey? Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh! Arsé-kun: *Primo sits down right there and starts the story from the beginning. Setting up where everyone was, what everyone was doing,* Sheepy: *Aru listens to the story attentively! She's enjoying it!* Arsé-kun: *Primo does occasionally pass over details, like Beddy's wings, or the exact condition Magnus was in. He's accurate otherwise!* Sheepy: Aru: Wow... a water trap? Really? I didn't know they had those underwater... Arsé-kun: Primo: I didn't either! Sheepy: Aru: And nor did Beddy... Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Seir* Thank Gla'aki for that one. Carry on. Sheepy: Aru: Ah... Sheepy: Aru: It sounds like Beddy to give away his food, too... Make sure he eats properly, okay? Arsé-kun: *wrapper crinkling from seir. thank you for your input* Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, of course. He's definitely going to fall ill after that one. Sheepy: Aru: Poor Beddy... Arsé-kun: *Arthur snaps awake after dozing off for a moment there. Um. Uhm. Nobody saw that* Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, are you tired? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Exhausted. Pardon me. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay! Did you want to rest in the sword? Arsé-kun: Arthur: May I? Sheepy: Aru: Of course! It's your sword too! Arsé-kun: *Arthur retreats to inside Caliburn. He's done for today* Sheepy: Aru: Maybe 3's responded by now... I should check when I get home... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *checking his phone* Nope. Sheepy: Aru: That's too bad... Arsé-kun: Kay: You guys done talking? Can we go? Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Arsé-kun: Primo: No. I need to have a quick word with you and Griflet, and then you can do whatever it is you do! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Sheepy: Grif: Go on. Arsé-kun: Primo: For your help, I have to reward you, right? Yog wouldn't let me skip out on that. Sheepy: Grif: Ah? Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Primo hands both Grif and Kay $300!* Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Thanks. I can save so much now. Arsé-kun: Primo: On top of that, there is one other thing, but it'll have to wait. Just know something's been moved up on the priority list! Sheepy: Grif:....? Arsé-kun: Primo: :) Arsé-kun: Primo: Don't worry about it! Just know Yog mentioned it to me and I'm the guy who deals with that, so it'll be done soon~ Sheepy: Grif: ??????.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can you maybe speak less in vague and more in english? Arsé-kun: Primo: *ahem* I shall not waste words with thee, but merely observe thou art a churlish varlot. Sheepy: Grif: I've heard of that. Sheepy: Grif: She rides on the back of a beast with multiple heads and nine horns. Arsé-kun: *Kay shifts his eyepatch so he can give Primo a full flat look. He's not impressed* Arsé-kun: Primo: .... No, that's the Harlot. heepy: Grif: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: *merlin googling words in the background* Arsé-kun: Primo: Now shoo. I have to speak with Jaufre, and then I'll be leaving. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. *He exits* Sheepy: Jauf: Yes, me? Arsé-kun: Primo: Yes, you. heepy: Jauf: I'm all attention! Arsé-kun: Primo: *lowering his voice so no one but Jauf hears him* Let our King know I'm working on it. The kids don't need to get involved with that, I've got it covered. Arsé-kun: Primo: .... For now. Sheepy: Jauf:...Right. I'll let him know. You can count on me. Arsé-kun: Primo: If things change, you'll be the first to know. Sheepy: Jauf: Thank you! Arsé-kun: Primo: Of course. Now get off my son's ship, pip pip, I'm not waiting forever! Sheepy: Jauf: Okay, okay! See you later, Merlin. *He leaves* Arsé-kun: *As soon as everyone else is kicked off board, the ship returns to Primo's home. There is an artificial lake explicitly for the purpose of allowing Magnus' ship to appear here.* Arsé-kun: *Primo takes a few minutes to relax, and then back to work!! Lets go check on everybody!* Sheepy: *Beddy is still sleeping. He looks cozy. However... There's voices coming from Magnus's room!* rsé-kun: Primo: ...?? *he didn't feel anybody boarding! He'd better engage his favorite hobby-- Eavesdropping!!!* Sheepy: Magnus: Wh-who are you...?! Get away from me! Sheepy: ?: Haaaah? Aren't you super unfriendly? I think we should try a better intro! Okay, let's start from the top! My name is.. Hey, don't you think a different outfit would suit you better? I think a different color would make you sparkle lots and lots! Sparkle-sparkle~ Ehehehe~ Sheepy: Lio: Ah! It's you! The court mage-jester combo! Arsé-kun: Primo: My son's been through a lot. Can you please not do this right now? Sheepy: Lio: Huh? Arsé-kun: *Primo appears in the doorway but doesn't enter. He pulls Lio back like three feet* Sheepy: Lio: Ohhh! Your son! Just who I was here for! I thought I was looking for a dead guy, but he seems fine... Hey, don't you know that you're supposed to die when your time comes? Well, I guess it's okay if you're Merlin's son... Merlin's very very cool~ Mom doesn't like him, but I do! Arsé-kun: Primo: So they weren't a moment too soon... Sheesh. Sheepy: Lio: Crowd? Huh? Arsé-kun: *Primo pulls Lio another few feet back by the collar.* Sheepy: Lio: Where are we going, huh? Where are we going? Arsé-kun: Primo: We're giving Maggy space to breathe. Sheepy: Lio: Oh, you know... Sheepy: Lio: You can't breathe space... Sheepy: Lio: Isn't that a useless gift? Arsé-kun: Primo: How subliterate cur of you. Anyway, Maggy isn't dead, and if he was, we wouldn't be here right now. Sheepy: Lio: Yup, I know that now! Hey, do you have pet fish? Arsé-kun: Primo: I have a werecat as a grandson. No fish, even if I wanted to. Sheepy: *Magnus is staring really hard at Lio.* Sheepy: Lio: Not even one? Arsé-kun: *So is Primo* Sheepy: Lio: Your house is no fun, huh? Arsé-kun: Primo: You still judge places based on if they have fish or not? Sheepy: Lio: Well... Sheepy: Lio: If Lancelot is there, that's also a point for it being a good place. Arsé-kun: *Primo doesn't tell him anything about that* Sheepy: Lio: Lots and lots of places are good, huh? Sheepy: Magnus:.....Blue-haired man. Sheepy: Lio: It's natural! Sheepy: Magnus: You're not... a fake, are you? Sheepy: Lio:.....Huh? Fake? Ummm... Sheepy: Lio:....Probably not? Last I checked, I'm the only me... Arsé-kun: Primo: No, Maggy, he's not, so I can't just throw him off the ship and be done with it. Sheepy: Magnus:....That's horrible. Sheepy: Magnus: That someone like this isn't the invention of that thing's mind... Sheepy: Lio: I'm the invention of my own mind! Arsé-kun: Primo: Everyone is capable of inventing themselves! Sheepy: Lio: Hey, have you seen frogs? Sheepy: Lio: You know that there's over 5,000 known species of frogs? That's more frogs than I can hold in two hands! Arsé-kun: Primo: ....... Sheepy: *Magnus's tension has eased some. He's so distracted by Lio that he doesn't feel wary of Primo.* Arsé-kun: Primo: Oh, Lionel, do you want me to tell Jaufre that you're around? Sheepy: Lio: Huh? He already knows that. Sheepy: Lio: I sell him lots and lots of goods sometimes~ Arsé-kun: Primo: I think he's finally realized he's deceased. It took him long enough, I say. Sheepy: Lio: Really? This long? Arsé-kun: Primo: He really didn't want to believe it. Arsé-kun: Primo: Shall I tell our King you're around as well? Sheepy: Lio: He's back? Arsé-kun: Primo: As a spirit, yes. Sheepy: Lio: Wow! I can tell him all the ways Lancelot is better than Sir Gawain! Arsé-kun: Primo: Like not being deader than a doornail, technically? Sheepy: Lio: I want to visit him soon! Sheepy: Lio: Hmmm... But I miss the real Lancelot... Arsé-kun: Primo: I know you do. Sheepy: Lio: He was just a guy... I don't get why he was punished like this. Arsé-kun: Primo: He was not Just A Guy. Sheepy: Lio: Well, you usually only saw his strengths. Sheepy: Lio: But he sacrificed a lot to get so strong in those areas. Arsé-kun: Primo: Including his weaknesses. If that man was allowed to reincarnate in full, he'd have broken something worldly by now. Sheepy: Lio: It's not fair... Sheepy: Lio: Hey, you think if I bring them all together, he can come back like that one card game thingy? Sheepy: Lio: Exodus! Arsé-kun: Primo: And sacrifice innocent lives? Absolutely not. Sheepy: Lio: Huh? Sheepy: Lio: They're not really Lancelot. Just a tiny fragment is, right? Sheepy: Lio: So wouldn't they just lose a tiny fragment? Sheepy: Lio: Would it really harm them? Sheepy: Lio: They're Lancelot, so I don't want to hurt them... Arsé-kun: Primo: Souls aren't my business. Arsé-kun: Thanatos: *distantly* Lionel, are you Quite done? Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss~ Sheepy: Lio: Can I just collect the itty bitty fragments of Lancelot and bring his ghost back without hurting the people they're in? Arsé-kun: Thanny: No. Once a soul splits, it stays split until after death, and they usually do not merge back together. Sheepy: Lio:....... Sheepy: Lio: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Lio: Lancelot really was punished... Arsé-kun: Thanny: It is the soul's decision. We have no place in that. Sheepy: Lio: ......... Sheepy: Lio: Lancelot's a jerk... I hate him... Sheepy: Lio:...Oh! That guy's not so dead. Good news after all! Arsé-kun: Thanny: Yes, I hear this. He survived that experience. Good, because I was not going down there to retrieve a soul. Sheepy: Lio: Huh... Sheepy: Lio: Well, it's lucky for him, too, I guess. Arsé-kun: Thanny: Lionel, didn't you have something else to be doing today...? Sheepy: Lio: Haaah? Me? Arsé-kun: Thanny: ... Literally anything else? Sheepy: Lio:....... Sheepy: Lio: Hey, dead guy! Let's go to a movie! Sheepy: Magnus: I'm serioud about wanting you to stay away from me.. Arsé-kun: Thanny: Please do not bother the man. Sheepy: Lio: It's called Finding Dory! Well, have you found her yet? Huh? Arsé-kun: Thanny: I'm going to let the Fates have their way with you at this rate. Sheepy: Lio: Boss! Arsé-kun: Thanny: Please leave this man alone. I'm concerned for his well-being and you are not helping. Sheepy: Lio: Let's go, let's go~ Arsé-kun: Thanny: Merlin the second, I am very sorry for this thing bothering you. Sheepy: Magnus:....He's scarier than anything I could imagine, so I know he's real... Arsé-kun: Thanny: I know you will not believe me, but you truly are no longer trapped down there. If you were, I would have had to retrieve your soul. Sheepy: Lio: Let's go watch Finding Dory! Today's the 17th, isn't it? Of June? 2016? Arsé-kun: Thanny: ................ Sheepy: Magnus:........ Arsé-kun: Thanny: Lionel? Shut the hell up for a minute. Arsé-kun: Thanny: Don't confuse the man. Sheepy: Lio: .....? Sheepy: Lio: *He tilts his head slightly*........ Arsé-kun: Thanny: ... It is 2021, for clarification. Again, my deepest apologies. Sheepy: Magnus:........*He's mulling this over* Sheepy: Lio: Huh, I really let those tickets expire. Arsé-kun: Thanny: You'll figure it out. You have plenty of time to. Sheepy: Magnus:.......*He seems unsure...* Sheepy: Lio: I miss Lancelot.. Maybe I'll go visit him today... Arsé-kun: Thanny: .... You don't know us, so we couldn't have been pulled from your memory, if I understand the situation correctly. Your illusory world is dead and will stay dead. Sheepy: Magnus:....... Sheepy: Magnus: I guess so... Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss~ Let's go visit Lancelot~ Arsé-kun: Thanny: You can. I have work to do. Sheepy: Lio: Huuuh? Really? Sheepy: Lio:....Okay! Boss is a very hard worker! I'm very proud of you, Boss~ What a good guy! Arsé-kun: *Thanny finally makes a physical appearance in the doorway so he can drag Lionel away a la emmet collar drag* Sheepy: Lio: Bye, Merlin! Bye, dead guy! Arsé-kun: *Primo left the scene a LONG time ago so he could get Magnus food. He only re-enters to see this*

seeing as people are bullying you for prioritizing ukai... here are some lil headcanons of how i think he'd treat you as your boyfriend <33 [ didn't check for typos. apologies :// ]

↬ 01 ; listen, ukai might not be the richest man ever, but if he has some extra cash, he'll defs book you a day at the spa. get your nails done, massages & whatever else you want to do. whenever you get your nails done he'll also be sitting right next to you, just admiring your pretty face while feeding you a snack of your choice. he'd even hold your phone up & type your texts for you if you'd let him. anything for his pretty girl <33

↬ 02 ; also, dates w ukai ?? the sweetest !! he might not seem like the romantic type but he's absolutely whipped for you. sometimes he'll take you on a drive to the beach in his lil car & you'll go watch the stars while taking a stroll along the shore.

↬ 03 ; he also wouldn't have an issue w it if you didn't want to watch the games he coached as he knows as he knows a big, noisy & over crowded stadium isn't for everyone. but if you do come to watch, he'll be sure to have the best seat reserved for you & whoever you want to bring along. during timeouts / breaks he'll give you a lil smile & a wink -- maybe even waving <33 & in between matches when he has time, he'll run to wherever you are, getting yet another good luck kiss from you & perhaps squeezing your ass when he's sure no one's looking.

↬ 04 ; just spending time w him in general is great bc he absolutely adores you. if you're watching a movie at home or just hanging out, he needs you close to him in some type of way. either you're on his lap or right next to him (but he prefers having you on his lap). he's a menace to be w in the summer heat bc even then he wants you on his lap & wants to cuddle & hold you :// good luck w that.

↬ 05 ; also, living w him ?? a dream come true. perhaps people would think of him being a bit of a slob or somethin, but he's actually quite neat & clean. sure, perhaps sometimes you'll find an article of clothing on the floor but usually that's bc he was getting a bit... steamy w you when he took it off. idk if he can cook, but if he can he makes great breakfasts & often spoils you w yummy food. if he can't, don't worry. he'll bring some tasty food from the convenience store.

↬ 06 ; in general he's just so in love w you & perhaps a lil bit obsessed. he always puts in the effort to know more about your hobbies & likes & dislikes. i'm also certain he'll get along great w your family. he seems like the type that everyone's mother & co would just adore.

i was gonna do spicy ones too but i technically already did that before <33 ily & i support your ukai obsession <33

sami is once again feeding my unhealthy addiction and my soul. i swear every time i open you ask i have the biggest dopiest smile on my face like a lovestruck idiot

these headcanons made me feel all warm and tingly inside ☺️ i love it omgggg. and if my man isn’t obsessed with me i don’t want him!!

and i can just imagine having him scrolling on my phone for me while i get my nails done. and he even makes sure the nail tech is gentle with me (not in a mean way tho). definitely carries my purse and my shoes for me while i waddle to the car like a true gentleman.

and the part about the summer heat. i literally hate when people try to be all over you when it’s hot so i would probably get irritated but let it slide because it’s kei. and i would shower at least 2 times a day and he would try to join lol.

Part two of A Road to Somewhere

💤

You weren't sure when you fell asleep, maybe after the stop for gas. But when you woke up, the skies had mellowed into soft oranges and pinks.

Hypnos' had his shade tucked into his shirt, and his fingers tapped along the wheel in time to the music.

His face looked relaxed for the first time since the trip began. Your heart tightened with something you couldn't put a name to, even if you were upset with him, you still wanted him happy.

You sat up with a yawn, "Where are we?"

"Moo." Hypnos replied.

"Really? Fine, you are free from the bet or whatever." You waved a hand around.

"We just got into the mountain path, about an hour away from the inn my mom told me about." Hypnos chatted quickly. "And then we are only ten minutes away from the ocean. Which you will be amazed at and will thank me profusely for taking you."

You chuckled, "Did you miss being able to talk my ear off?"

Hypnos shoved your shoulder with a laugh, "Shut up. You just got lucky with that cow."

"You know I've seen pictures right? I know what the ocean looks like." You told Hypnos.

"Oh sure, the pictures are totally the same." Hypnos rolled his eyes, "I told you to trust me how many times now?"

"Okay. Okay. You're right, Hypnos." You said.

"Thank you! See now only if I can get everyone else to see that." Hypnos replied.

It was about two hours of driving on the path and no inn sight when you spoke up.

"I think we're lost." You said quietly as you studied the dark and looming woods. There was no light or signs to guide you. Even the moonlight offered little help.

"We are not lost. Mom probably just forgot how long it takes to get there." Hypnos squinted into the dark, even the high beams struggled to break through the darkness.

You pulled up your phone, and tried to get the google maps pulled up. You gave up after a few minutes and opened up the paper map.

"Told you so." Hypnos murmured.

You opted not to respond as you used your phone's flashlight to read the map.

After a few moments, you found roughly where you were. You could see where the mountain path ended. "It looks like there might be a turn up here to leave the mountains. Maybe twenty miles? Is that where inn is?"

Hypnos nodded, "Yeah, you go past the mountains, keep driving until you can hear the ocean, you should be able to see the inn."

You bit your bottom lip as you watched the dark forest blurred together. You really hoped Hypnos was right about this.

💤

It had been another hour with no end in sight. Only the dark woods remained, an unwelcome present.

Hypnos had stopped talking, his hands tight on the wheel. The air was tense and you could feel how tight your chest was. Normally you could count on Hypnos to break it but Hypnos hasn't been himself for most of the trip. The drunk call at three am, the lack of his phone use and how desperate he was for you to see the ocean; something he never seemed to care about before.

You rolled your head to look at him. He still looked good, even when he was stressed and tired. And you were far too tired to care if Hypnos caught you staring.

"Do you remember what I said I would do if we got lost in the woods?" You asked him, breaking the silence for the first time in a while. "You know, eating your bones and whatnot."

Hypnos' lips quirked up in a small grin. "Why is it that every time when something happens you threaten to eat me? You did it even when we were in the boy scouts together."

"Maybe because I know how tasty you are." You said without thinking.

Hypnos laughed, "I never thought cannibalism would be used to hit on me but here we are."

You went silent, flushed and turned away to stare out the window. "I wasn't…"

"No. No, I know. Just a joke." Hypnos said quickly.

You didn't see the glance Hypnos shot you. The air grew thick with awkwardness that you were unwilling to break.

"Y/N, look I know we haven't talked about-" Hypnos started to say but you shook your head. You weren't doing this, not now, not where there was no privacy to hide your emotions.

"Do you know how much longer?" You asked, trying not to think about what just happened or about anything.

"Not too long, I think the treeline got thinner." Hypnos replied, his voice hurt. You flinched at his tone, and hated yourself for causing it.

Just as he said that, you broke past the woodland into an open field.

And just like that the air in the car changed.

"Oh thank fuck!" Hypnos whooped and you laughed at his manic smile. "Y/N, roll down the windows. Do you hear anything?"

You obeyed him, and tried to listen over the rush of wind. "Nothing yet. No wait...I think I do hear it."

"Just wait until tomorrow. You're gonna love it." Hypnos yawned.

"Let me take over, you've been driving for the whole trip." You told him, watching Hypnos shake his head.

"Thanks but no. I got this. And also look ahead, the inn should be right around there." Hypnos pointed out and once you made it over the hill, you saw it.

Softly lit by warm lights, it looked like it belonged in a storybook. Once you arrived, checked in with the chatty front desk girl and made your way to the room, one with two beds, you sat down with a happy sigh. You kicked your shoes off, watching Hypnos stumbled to his own bed.

Hypnos flopped face down on his bed with a moan. "I love this bed." He slurred. "Best bed ever."

You looked around the room, it leaned into the nautical with soft blues walls and white shells decor. A small white and green turtle figurine stared at you from your bedside table.

"Hey Hypnos?" You asked, staring at the turtle so you didn't have to look at him. "I'm sorry. About what happened in the car."

When you got no response, you glanced at him only to see him soundly asleep. You walked over to him and lightly stoke his hair. Carefully you tugged his shoes off and flipped what blanket you could over him.

And with that you turned off the lights.

💤

"No peeking. I swear I will turn the car around if I see you even try." Hypnos' hand covered your face but you pushed his hand away.

"I've been covering my eyes since we got the car." You replied, a little grumpy at how early Hypnos woke up. The one time you would have wanted to sleep in, Hypnos was up and moving even before the inn started serving breakfast.

"Mom took me and my brothers here once, did I tell you that?" Hypnos sounded excited. "Than got stung by a jellyfish and cried for like three hours."

"You sound way too happy about that." You chuckled.

"He kicked over my sand castle, he deserved it." Hypnos muttered.

You felt the car stopped and with one more warning not to peek, Hypnos got out. Your door opened and Hypnos gilded you out.

His hands rested on your shoulders, warm and big. It took everything not to lean more into the touch.

You heard the sounds of crashing waves and a faint sound of a gull cry.

"Okay... and look!"

It was beautiful. The ocean was so much bluer than you thought possible. You stepped on to the sand and walked forward, Hypnos followed behind you.

You two were the only souls around the hidden patch of beach between the cliffs, and all you can hear is the ocean hitting the rocks.

"Dude! How did your mom find this place?" You asked as you stopped short of the ocean's reach.

"My dad brought her here when they first met." Hypnos kicked off his flip flops and stepped into the water up his knees.

You copied him, only to almost fall backwards when a big wave came but caught yourself at the last second. "Woah, I didn't expect the waves to be so strong."

Hypnos tossed an arm around your shoulders to hold you steady as the waves rolled past both of you. He laughed warmly, "So pictures are totally the same thing huh?"

You smiled, "You're right, the pictures don't do justice."

"Music to my ears, Y/N." Hypnos squeezed your shoulder, "Come on. Let's get set up."

💤

The day went by quickly, sunset had just begun with deep reds and oranges. You could feel the sunburn already on your cheeks. Hypnos' shoulders and back were already burned and you knew you would be hearing him bitch about it later.

You laid on your stomach on the beach towel, lazily watching him build the tower of a sand castle.

Hypnos' tongue was sticking out a little and it made him look boyishly charming.

You looked toward the ocean, the waves lapping away at the footprints left behind. You didn't see the small bucket Hypnos packed tightly with sand or the devious look in his eyes.

You yelped when the cold lid of the bucket touched between your shoulder blades, followed by the sand. You turned your head toward Hypnos who grinned at your offended glare.

He immediately begins adding more on you, patting it down firmly with both hands.

"Hypnos." You said carefully, "If you put any more sand on me, I will kick your ass."

Wordlessly Hypnos scooped up a huge pile of sand in his hand and met your eyes.

"I won every fight we ever had since we were kids, so don't." You warned, eyes narrowed but a grin threatened to break on your face.

With a mad laugh, Hypnos dropped the sand on your back and you promptly tackled him. You were able to push his back into the sand but half a second later, you realized you missed both his arms as they tightened around your shoulders.

Hypnos rolled, pulled you along with him and your back hit the sand. You let out a grunt as you tried to squirm out but Hypnos matched you for every move. You freed one hand only for Hypnos to grab your wrist and pinned it by your head.

He immediately took the opportunity to do the same with your other wrist as he straddled your waist with all of his weight on you.

Hypnos stared down at you, panting slightly. You could tell he looked surprised as you did.

You relaxed under him, and spread out your hands.

"You win." You told him softly. Between the sounds of the waves and how the sunset made Hypnos' eyes even more golden, you couldn't think straight. Or even about how you found yourself in this position again when you swore you wouldn't.

"I win." Hypnos agreed just as softly. He leaned down and kissed you before you could react. For a few minutes, you returned the slow and deep kiss. Hypnos hummed deep in his throat, his chest fully against yours.

Hypnos pulled away, his face flushed and looking at him was what brought you back to reality.

"Nono. No. Hypnos get off now. Please." You begged him. Immediately he moved off and sat down on the sand.

There was an awkward pause as you sat up, not able to speak. A hard wind blew against you, and you shook at how cold and alone you felt.

"Y/N…" Hypnos murmured, his hand reached out to touch you but you moved away.

"No, I'm not doing this again." You said as you curled in on yourself. "Last time almost killed me. Not again."

"What are you talking about?" Hypnos moved closer but didn't touch you, his tone gentle. "Y/N. Look at me. Please. Are… Are you talking about the first time we kissed?"

"What else could I be talking about, Hypnos?" You snapped, "You can't just keep acting like it didn't happen."

"I haven't but you certainly have!" Hypnos' tone turned hard. "I just tried to act like it wasn't a big deal when you made it clear you didn't want a relationship with me."

Hypnos laughed but it wasn't friendly. "And I was the one who brought it up in the car in case you forgot, Y/N."

"Excuse me for not wanting to be your Meg replacement." You snapped at him, not knowing what else to say. You stood to walk away but Hypnos leaped up. His hands grabbed your shoulders and turned you around to face him. His other hand squeezed your biceps.

"What are you talking about?" Hypnos said, his tone desperate.

"You're kidding me right? You've been in love with her since seventh grade when she punched you during gym and gave you a nosebleed." You cried. "I knew you were upset at finding out that your brother is dating her."

Hypnos said nothing for a few moments before he chuckled, "I haven't looked, let alone thought of her that like in years."

You stared, not quite believing what you were hearing. "But you were upset when you found out Thanatos was dating Meg and Zagreus."

"I was upset that he didn't tell me that they had been together for almost a whole year." Hypnos paused. "And that they didn't lock the door. I mean come on. At least a sock on the front door or something."

You laughed slightly, and Hypnos grinned softly. He looked at you with such fondness you had to look away from him to keep yourself from blushing.

"Do you know why I brought you here,Y/N?" He asked carefully.

You opened your mouth only to close it. After a few seconds, you mutely shook your head.

"I want my best friend back." Hypnos said brokenly.

"I had this stupid idea if I could just go somewhere new or different with you, that maybe we could forget what I did to our friendship." Hypnos talked as you stay quiet. "I knew I fucked up, I pushed too hard and too soon but god, I couldn't look away from you anymore and… And I thought you felt the same."

You swallowed, "I thought when you acted like it didn't happen you regretted what happened, regretted me."

"Never, how could I regret you? Y/N, when we weren't talking I was going crazy. I felt like I had a limp missing. Mom was showing me these photos back when we were kids, and you were in almost all of them." Hypnos swallowed. "I just want you back."

You took a deep breath, feeling like you were on a cliff and didn't know if you were to fall forward or backward. "You didn't lose me. I just didn't want to be the thing you used to get over Meg."

"Is that why you didn't want to go out with me?" Hypnos asked and squeezed your arm gently. "Y/N, I don't know if you noticed but I've been crazy about you for years."

"Oh." You blinked. "Oh."

Hypnos smiled, "Yeah. Oh."

"Is it too late? For us?" You asked, heart racing.

"Never." Hypnos cupped your face. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes, please." You met him halfway into the kiss, smiling with relief.

Days later, on your way home, Hypnos' hand rested on your thigh as you sat in peace.

It felt like home.

Could I request something for each merc trying to cook dinner, and what type of meals they would make? (As well as the disasters that are sure to come with). Thank you!💕💕

What meals would they cook and how would they somehow mess it up?

Scout

The boy just won't. He grabs nine bowls from the drawer and slaps some cereal in there. Milk and fruit loops, that's the way. Everyone's absolutely relieved he didn't make an attempt at cooking, again. The last time he did try to cook, he tried to make a simple hotdog bun. The lad tried to flip - like goddamn flip hotdogs. They all rolled off the pan and everyone had to starve that day.

Soldier

He refuses to make nor eat anything non-american, and today's the perfect day to shove pure independence in his fellow European mercenaries' mouths. Surprisingly, the man knows how to cook, how else could he have survived alone in a war nobody asked him to join? But nobody let Soldier handle any of the food because they didn't trust him enough, so out of spite he served MREs to the team, not exactly tasty, but edible, thankfully.

Pyro

They flat out slam uncooked pasta on the table and watched each and every mercenary eat their food.

Engineer

Took this from the wiki, and Engie loves barbeque! The whole team loves when it's Engie's turn to cook, because they get to sit outside and have a barbeque under some shade. Engineer prefers cooking for himself, or Pyro, but it swells his heart to hear compliments and praise from his co-workers - who rarely ever do that out on the field when he's basically being the backbone of the team - cough

Heavy

Besides Engie, everyone loves when Heavy cooks too! He personally tells everyone to shut up and exit the kitchen while he cooks, it's distracting. He cooks food he usually cooks back at home, with his family. His cooking is amazing - but everyone's a little irked by the bears, but everyone's too scared to tell him that, because Heavy watches them like a hawk. He's that mother, the 'finish-what's-on-your-damn-plate' mom.

Demoman

As much as he drinks and drowns himself in alcohol, he CAN cook. He was raised by his ma, his ma didn't raise a bitch. Usually, the lad cooks lots of meat. Lots of protein. Sausages, eggs, bacon, with a side of toast with a side of tea. Of course, he doesn't drink the tea, he just serves it because he's used to making tea along with breakfast for his ma and pa. Everyone enjoys it, but dislikes when Demo leaves them to do the dishes. No way is he gonna do extra work, get outta here man.

Medic

German cuisine, of course. Instead of full meals though, he prefers making stew. Nobody knows why, but it doesn't matter because it fills their stomachs anyways. The mercenaries admit that it is delicious, but are always skeptical with his food. They don't know why, but for some reason, they always end up waking up in their own rooms, feeling like they just came from surgery, or something.

Oh.

Sniper

Great at cooking. He lives independently, so he knows how to take care of himself, but, but. He absolutely despises having to cook for the team, so he half-asses his cooking and serves them something lazy like egg. Oh you want more? He'll give it alright! Just very half-assed. Scrambled egg, sunnyside egg, omelette, omelette without the veggies (yes), I'm running out of names here, egg. Only Scout enjoys his meals, everyone else? Edible, but not something to look forward to.

Spy

Spy is an excellent cook, but like Sniper, he dislikes cooking for the team. He feels as though he shouldn't be wasting his time and skills on this ragtag bunch of misfits. Anyways, he cooks decent enough for the team. A balanced meal, with salad for dessert. Nobody actually likes the salad, save for Sniper, Medic, Heavy and Engie, so everyone else devised a plan. First, you say no, then, ya get out of there.

Anywho, they all book it after dinner to avoid salad because they're all big children, and the real adults sit back and finish their baby team's leftover salad.