#it's a lot of words
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Still shaking...
Had a scare yesterday. My Scrivner Rik/V fic file disappeared off my computer and OneDrive. Fortunately Scrivner has a back up feature so I could restore it but the thought of losing over 100K words of fic shook me so bad I'm still shuddering at the thought. 😅
#aurelio voltaire#rik mayall#fanfics#slash fics#it's a lot of words#i have so many slash fics#they're just too much fun together#the cosmos approves of it and i can prove it
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I hit my limit today, and I think that makes me an asshole, but mainly I feel relief.
I have a friend I have written about before here. This friend and I had been close since high school. some close to 20 years ago, though, this friend got very, very sick and suffered a serious brain injury. I won't go into all the gorey details except to explain that this friend really has the functional intellect of a 12 year old, mainly, and the emotional maturity of a toddler because of this injury. They will never get better than they are now. that means that I need to be the mature one in our relationship now.
this friend has always been a bit self-centered... but we all are to some extent. but he brain injury has really exacerbated this part of them. to the point that they will literally throw a nasty, public *fit* and scream on facebook about how inconvenienced they are because the person who helps them in the care home where they live is not available one day because that person is getting *cancer* treatment. They will call that person out by name, tagging them, and yelling at them for not being there to do their laundry or whatever else... because the person is dealing with *cancer*. screaming and calling people out on facebook is pretty common for my friend. any inconvenience, real or perceived, is a sudden public blast, and they can get pretty hateful and hurtful when they say things there.
i lost count of how many times *I* have been put on blast, usually for not having dropped everything and driven the 4 or so hours each way to see them in person. (when I have to use food banks to feed myself and I still can't make ends meet, but, sure, lemme just bend over and shit out that tank and a half of fuel to do that) but I have also been put on blast for explaining to my friend that they are saying hurtful things to people who love them. Or for trying to explain certain social issues of the day. the other big complaint i get put on blast for is that my "new friends" are "taking me away" from them. (again, usually because i don't travel to see them, because i don't travel at ALL anymore, but what the fuck is logic to an emotionally-a-toddler anyway?) i've talked about some of this here before.
i didn't feel like i could just... walk away, though. see after their brain injury, all of our closest friends just... ghosted. (I'd already been ghosted because i moved away, but this friend was still often in contact with the rest of the gang.) my friend had no one left but family. just me. i couldn't go too... especially since they threatened on *several* occasions that I was the "only thing keeping them alive", they they would "die without me". yes, I know that's manipulative as fuck, but my friend was an incredibly smart person who is now a child, and remembers just enough to know what they lost... including all of their friends. i didn't want to be like the "gang".
but the constant public tagging on facebook about how i was letting them down, or how i must hate them, or how i was being taken away, or how i was rude and mean for asking them to not do hateful things... it's stressful. and that didn't even touch on all the vague-posting about "their friend who is being taken away from them" or "their friend who yelled at them for being a bitch to their helper" or "their friend who must hate them". i did get a few NASTY messages from some of the people they started talking to online who knew nothing about me but what my friend would post. it was exhausting. and if i asked my friend to stop, it would only get *worse* for a week or two as they pouted and screamed, until they literally forgot and then it would cycle back to the beginning. i finally broke down and just unfollowed. it helped a lot, as now, i only knew about the complaints when i got tagged and put on blast *personally* (which was about half the time they posted about me). but the tagging complaints didn't stop. i might have peace for a few days, or a few weeks... but, eventually, i'd get put on blast again for... something.
enough times, and i started to wonder... maybe i *do* suck for not finding a way to see them? i knew i wasn't talking to them as often as i "should"... but it was exhausting, and it negatively affected my health, but did it really or am i just making things up to avoid discomfort? i mean... they have a brain injury. my friend really doesn't understand just what they are saying sometimes. i should be the mature one here, suck up my discomfort, and just ignore the digs and the pokes and the nastygrams. i mean, i'm the adult, and, realistically, i don't make enough time for any of my friends because dealing with people *hurts*, and i should just get the fuck over that and... and find a way.
but it was a lot better, not seeing their posts unless they tagged me. but they would still stalk *my* facebook, and anytime i posted any of my social justice stuff, they would comment. sometimes it was a simple, "eh? i don't understand", sometimes it was something so for out of touch that it was a glaring reminder that they probably weren't capable of actually understanding the issues at hand. sometimes, it was an argument against my post or meme or thoughts, because those were "new friends ideas" or because they didn't get what i was saying, or because they genuinely disagreed with the idea.
for a while, I would try to engage... either to explain, or to ask what they meant, or to have an actual discussion... but when my friend wouldn't even remember what they were thinking when they made the comment in the first place... there was limited success. so i just started... ignoring the comments and questions, unless it was a real simple, easy to explain, non-confrontational thing.
so yesterday, i posted a meme about how everyone has preferred pronouns. my friend commented, "Ehh?" i should have just walked away and ignored it like i usually did. but stupid me thought this would be a safe one to tackle. so i asked if what pronouns that they would prefer. they answered that they had always used a specific one, so probably stick with that. so i asked if they thought it would be fair for someone to make fun of them for preferring a pronoun that matched their genitals. they said "nope!" I literally replied: "That was what this post was about. That it isn't appropriate to make fun of someone's preferred pronouns, no matter what... because EVERYONE has preferred pronouns."
my friend started yelling at me for "calling them out". then they proceeded to post to their wall that they were SICK of ME "calling them out". but, see... i was "calling them out" because my friend literally forgot that they asked me yesterday to explain the meme i posted. and had no idea how to read the previous six comments between us that were immediately above where they started screaming at me... but that didn't become obvious until much, much later in the fight.
and today... i just couldn't handle it. so instead of ignoring it and moving on, i responded that 1) i *hadn't* done anything of the sort, but 2) i really didn't CARE anymore if they hated it when I "called them out" because they *did* do and say shitty things sometimes. so if they didn't want me to say anything, either stop doing and saying shitty things, or unfriend me.
the responses were reiterations about hating when i point out when they are being nasty, screaming about how my "new friends" are taking me away from them, how they are "losing me to my new friends" (and I don't even know who these "new friends" are supposed to even be? I guess anyone who isn't THAT specific friend?) and some other things, that i genuinely don't even remember anymore... and i can't look them up, because they blocked me.
and my primary emotion over that? relief. relief and a fervent hope that they don't *forget* that they were this angry at me and unblock me again in a week.
this was my friend. my friend who has a brain injury. and i am relieved to be done dealing with them. i'm sad this happened, because if i could have just been a better person... i should have just kept my mouth shut or something. right?
my friend is a child because they literally can't not be. i was a child today because i lost my temper. but i'm not sorry, and i won't apologize, because i still just feel... relieved.
so i guess... i just need to come to terms with being that kind of a person.
anyway... sorry. i just needed to get that all out.
#it's a lot of words#about real life and not being there for people#about being the bigger person#about being the adult#or rather#FAILING to be the adult#and i wish there was a better phrase than put on blast#or calling someone out#except that's exactly the right phrases#i use them a lot here#sorry
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i was thinking about that post comparing Jessica Rabbit as an asexual to Barbie and an asexual and then i thought of the Neil Gaiman post (was it a post?) about Crowley and Aziraphale being asexual sexless and then this happened.
anyways. thoughts?
sorry it took so long I meant to do this a week ago but my brain is full of rocks.
[Image ID a three sided venn diagram. the big circles show Margot Robbie's Barbie sitting in front of a mirror, Jessica and Roger Rabbit from the poster of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens standing back to back. Between Barbie and Jessica Rabbit it says "sexualised by society". Between Jessica Rabbit and Aziraphale and Crowley it says "Knows what sex is". Between Aziraphale and Crowley and Barbie it says "no reproductive system(?)". the center is the asexual flag. End ID]
Also i haven't seen the Barbie movie as of this edit so at least please tag your spoilers.
#please enjoy this i made it look so pretty#barbie#jessica rabbit#who framed roger rabbit#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#asexuel#i will do an image id later I’m sorry words dont exist right now#i’ve had a lot of the same questions i will respond eventually. maybe. we’ll see
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Minecraft Wiki is independent again!!
Yahoo!!! No more FANDOM wiki!!! Find the new minecraft wiki at minecraft.wiki!!
I thought it would be good to make a little PSA post with summarised information on why they moved from FANDOM!
Why did they move?
FANDOM is notoriously a bad wiki for both readers and editors alike. This is due to the insane amount of ads, the site layout, the lag, the fact that FANDOM can just take your wiki from you, etc has made the minecraft wiki decide to move
Because of the lack of agency the minecraft wiki has over its own wiki, they had a long discussion and vote with the community on what wiki platform to move towards. You can view both discussions here and here
By moving to a more independent wiki, they can provide a much better and friendlier service.
What's improved with the new wiki?
New site look, lacking the ugly FANDOM yellow sidebar and removing all other unnecessary bloat! This also includes a dark mode option and other custom settings.
Faster load times! I have incredibly good internet, and even I notice the STARK difference between the load times of FANDOM and the official wiki!
Less ads! At the moment they have no ads, but they do intend to have at least one. The placement of which will be discussed with the community to ensure minimal disruption to the user.
Better search functionality! FANDOM's search is notoriously bad at giving you the answers you need. Now they can have a more robust search function that more accurately brings users to what they are looking for.
No age popups- Unlike FANDOM this wiki does not need to know if you're a child or adult.
Anonymous editing has returned! Users can now once again anonymously contribute to the site!
HOWEVER. THE MINECRAFT WIKI NEEDS YOUR HELP!
FANDOM refuses to close old wiki's that have moved away, and so they will continue to show up in search domains. The old domains such as minecraft.gamepedia.com and minecraftwiki.net are also permanently attached to the FANDOM wiki.
In order to help the new wiki be successful, you can help out in the following way:
Spread the word!
Don't interact with FANDOM links. The less people interact with FANDOM, the more google knows that people are looking for the official wiki and not the FANDOM one!
Dont use the old links, again for the same reason as above!
And of course, improve the wiki :D! Since you don't need an account to make edits, see what you can contribute!
#minecraft#mc tag#mineblr#dirtcube chat#y'all think im not doing anything mc related and thats why i mquiet#but i have actually been doing a lot#anyway this makes me genuinely happy and i need everyone to know so spread the word please mayhaps
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i always forget to post my sketches from paleostreams, time to post lots of creatures!! some drawings are new, some old :)
#lucas called aigialosaurus “worm on a string”.. the most accurate description tbh. no words#anyway#enjoy the sillies. it's a lottt of sketches i just always forget to post them#especially on tumblr#and i still have a LOT of paleoart to post ahhhh#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoland#paleoart#paleostream flocking#paleostream
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the infamous 'last sighting of a barbary lion in the wild' photo taken by marcelin flandrin (1925) haunts me to my core. there's something so achingly poetic about it.
#this is so random for me but i saw this the other night and it genuinley hasnt left my brain#there's a lot of debate around this subspecies and whether they are#extinct or w/e#hence my wording BUT#this photo and that kinda ....... 'last one in the wild' fact has sTUCK with me#so small. in the space. so alone. walking away. leaving their prints behind.#it honestly nearly moves me to tears if i think about it too much#straight up put this in my drafts last night and now it makes me TOO emotional
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obvs it's just racist but the "palestinians looting U.N. warehouses" angle seems esp asinine to me. like. it's theirs. right? israelis don't need food aid, so who is it for? so it's theirs. the aid for palestinians. palestinian aid. how can they "steal" something that's meant for them
#like keeping locked stockpiles of food when people are starving nearby is inhumane regardless#and i fully support “looting” under all circumstances#but it just seems like a massive reach. you have to redefine a lot of words to call it “looting”#palestine#free palestine#gaza#mine
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what happens when you change your web standards to be only english-speaker inclusive
#twitter#elon musk#twitter x#whatever shit name it has now lmao#english#as a note#twitter aint the only page doing this#there are games even that aint letting words that have -nig- inside of them be written as part of an algorithm that checks them out#-nga- and -ngr- also#and spanish and indonesian use those words a lot inside of words and/or can mean sth different in their languages (in indonesian case)#etc etc#wait i forgot if it was thai or indo#oh fuck#oh well
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"People as things, that's where it starts."
Carpe Jugulum (Discworld #23) - Terry Pratchett
Going Postal (Discworld #32) - Terry Pratchett
#i finished Going Postal last week#and i've been thinking about this A Lot#carpe jugulum#going postal#discworld#terry pratchett#words words words
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The legacies people leave behind in you.
My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.
I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.
I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.
I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.
I learned to love books because my father loved them first.
How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.
~Edit~
Yikes guys I didn’t expect this post to blow up.
I’m grateful it did though. Looking at all the comments and tags really takes a stab at my heart because it just shows how wired we are for connection. If life has any meaning, then it’s that.
This concept really sunk its teeth into me as it reassures the notion that no one is ever truly gone. Parts of them just change into you.
That teacher I talked about inspired me to become a teacher myself. This was my first year teaching. Here’s to a new generation of curved i’s.
#love#platonic#friends#friendship#lots of love#lots of feelings#spilled heart#spilled words#loss#grief#literature#spilled poem#words typed#writblr#lost friendship#i’ll love you forever#angst#lots and lots of angst#like so much#sad vibes#i'm sad
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i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.
most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.
it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.
and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).
i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.
grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.
#warm up#writeblr.#i am not going to personally comment on the pineapple debate#some things are too big for me.#maybe we could have everything on earth choose their own names.#wouldn't that be fun#it is a creative writing exercise. okay. ily#''why only these languages?'' ..... bc i dont know every language#sorry :(#PLEASE leave me comments about what words u think are correct. i love learning them#btw! this isn't saying these are the most BEAUTIFUL words for it... just the words that are the most CORRECT#like i quite like the word ''keynote'' as mentioned. it's got a lot of fun sounds in it.#but it is not CORRECT.#''gloaming''' is interesting and fun and poetic but it is NOT correct . evening is MORE correct#but less beautiful.#does that make sense?
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I feel the need to periodically remind people that Idiocracy is a eugenics movie.
One of the things that eugenicists believe is that it is bad for society when the “wrong people” breed.
The entire premise of the movie is that “stupid people” kept having kids while “smart people” didn’t have kids, and it ruined society because stupid genes propagated while smart genes died out. This is eugenics propaganda.
I know people will read this and their response will be “actually it’s satire” but the movie isn’t satirizing eugenics. It’s satirizing anti-intellectualism, and consumerism, and it proposes eugenics as a solution.
When eugenics was first conceived, it was used as a way to justify inequality. The idea was that people who held privilege were able to do so because they were smarter and genetically superior to lazy and stupid people who don’t have privilege. Obviously this is bad and wrong, but it is also the core lesson of Idiocracy.
The movie literally ends with the main character becoming president and having “the smartest children in the world.” Because he and his wife have smarter genes than everyone else. The proposed solution for the things that Idiocracy is satirizing is for the smart people to have children that can be in charge of the world.
I know it’s fun to use this movie to dunk on anti-intellectualism and the MAGA movement, but we need to stop. When you quote and reference this movie you are spreading eugenics propaganda.
#remember yall#eugenics is bad#and anything that says a certain type of person shouldn’t have kids is probably eugenics#even if they don’t realize it#so let’s stop holding this movie up as some great prophetic work#because it’s not#also good lord they say the r word a lot in that movie#and it’s super gross#ugh I hate this movie
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You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?
I like the angry little king boy 🌹
#art#twisted wonderland#sorry epel and ortho i like you guys a lot too!#oh and grim i guess#wait how many other shorties are there in twst#anyway i have a lot of affection for episode 1 and for riddle's character arc#he is a terrible little bastard who is trying very hard to be a slightly less terrible little bastard#and i have feelings about his friendships with trey and cater and che'nya especially!#and how that relates to his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a mom and uhhhhhh you know. everything.#i don't know how to do the words about all the thoughts i have on fictional characters#me waving my hands frantically in the air: it's about LOVE and wanting to be LOVED this is what twst is ABOUT --#(i am dragged bodily offstage by my collar)
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"girl" as in girl help & good afternoon girl im in the water & #girl
"boy" as in boy you want some hotdogs & its me boy im the ps5 & autism be damned my boy can work a grill
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Upcoming Strike for Palestine 02/18-02/25
There's been a twitter thread and post going around planning and organizing the next days of strike, so I wanted to pass on the message because I didn't see posts about it yet
Link to thread here
Another thread of the same strike
As usual, please continue to boycott and strike and do what you can to spread awareness.
Boycott
Donate
Buy eSims for Gaza
Care for Gaza
Donate to UNRWA
Daily Clicks to Generate Funds for Palestine
#free palestine#palestine#ceasefire#ceasefire now#free gaza#let me know though if there is any update regarding this upcoming strike because i haven't seen a lot about it ?#but if there is an organized strike i want to be able to spread the word#free congo#free sudan#sudan#congo
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