#it’s okay to admit that im not okay
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𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭
𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵e𝘭𝘭
Levi let out a sigh of relief the moment your silhouette appeared through the shadows, tensed shoulders relaxing. He turned his head, all focus shifting instantly to you.
“You.” He exhaled, a hint of exasperation in his tone, indicating that the little time spent without your absence had not been very fun. “Where have you been?”
“Hi. Went to scout.” You answered, reaching the little campfire to stand beside Levi. All your friends sat circling it. Levi’s subtle, not very subtle eagerness at your arrival seemed to have triggered something, making the already guffawing crowd of people laugh even harder. Concluded with Levi’s sour face, it wasn’t very hard to guess what the subject of amusement must have been.
“Oh, are we bullying Levi again?” You beamed, nudging Levi’s leg with your foot, signaling him to give you space. “Scoot over. I want to join too.”
Levi shot a glare, but shifted to let you sit beside him. As another wave of laugher sparked through your friends, you plopped down on the grass, folding your legs. It was a chilly night, and everyone wanted to stay near the fire, therefore, the circle was so tightly formed around the fire, you could barely squeeze yourself between Levi and Nifa.
“Sit on my lap, why don’t you?” Levi grumbled, scowling and squirming a little at the close contact.
“What? It’s cold. And you’re warm.” You said as you sat down. “What are you so pissy for anyways?” You pressed yourself tighter, curling yourself up against him, uncaring of the poisonous gaze. You’ve learnt a long ago, half of Levi's words didn’t mean shit, that if he actually was uncomfortable, you wouldn’t even be here right now, he would’ve broken a bone or two. Levi’s personal space wasn’t something he let anyone come through, but you’ve been an exception for that for a long time.
And he was warm. A warmth that surprisingly only the cold, cold man was capable of.
And as always, the low protest died soon and he adjusted to let you lean against him.
“Hange.” He muttered, answering your previous question. “They’re trying to convince people to marry me.”
“Wonderful.” You grinned, “I volunteer.”
“I hate you.”
Cue for a very drunk Hange cracking up again, leading the others to join in. Even Erwin, ever regal and solemn, couldn’t seem to be able to hold the small smile from forming. With Hange’s contagious laughter and Levi’s scowl, it was impossible to.
“Oh why’d you let Hange drink again?” You laughed, watching them as Moblit struggled, trying to pry the bottle out of the section commander's grasp. “They're gonna be terrible to deal with tomorrow.”
“They insisted it was one sip.” Erwin said solemnly.
“Well, that sure seems like one sip.”
“But seriously though,” Nanaba piped in, shoulders still shaking with the waves of laughter. “Levi’s got all that spunk, but no bitches.”
“Stubborn shortie-” Hange's voice was cut of as they hiccupped
“Shut up. All of you. Please.” Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “
“Point stands. In your mid-thirties, Levi. How long are you going to wait?”
“Why,” He huffed. “Are you people so insistent on analyzing my personal life every damn time? Do you not have anything better to do?”
“Only well wishers.” She gave him a smug smile. “That’s what friends do, they care for each other.”
“No. You just want to give me shit.”
“Well, that too.” She shrugged.
“Iffff—if anything,” Hange stumbled in, rubbing their eyes. She glanced at you pointedly. “You could at least date her. That’d be nice.”
“So I keep telling him.” You feigned a disappointed sigh.
“Don’t fucking egg them on.” He hissed, face heating up at the suggestion. How could they even think it’d work out? He thinks, against the thoughts tugging. Ridiculous. They were ridiculous. You were just as ridiculous. So what does he do with this ridiculous fucking feelin–
“Oh but look,” Hange leaned forward, squinting to watch the two of you, their glasses reflecting off the fire and casting shadows on their face. “ Do mine eyes deceive me or is Ackerman over there blushing?”
“No.” The denial was quick. A little too quick.
“I confirm.” Nanaba smirked. Miche grunted.
“No.”
“Oh, Levi.” Erwin’s eyes glimmered amusement.
“I will hit you. Don’t even go there.”
The roar of laughter only grew louder.
And the night rolled on, the nonsense bickerings and banters continued. Friendly faces and friendly voices, joking and teasing and laughing without a care in the world. Bottles clinked, the firelight glinting on them. At one point, you and Hange started singing some stupid song you’ve heard in the fair, rocking back and forth with the music. And you weren’t certain, but you could swear there was a hint of melody even in the wind blowing by. And it was cold, but with Levi beside you, you were okay. But that was okay, it was okay. More than okay, really. The happiness was overwhelming.
.
“You know,” Hange called out suddenly. They had taken to fully sprawl out on the grass. They’d been quiet a while, and you had thought they must’ve passed out, but appears not.
Everyone turned to look at them.
“This is nice isn’t it?” They mumbled, blinking up to the sky. “I mean, sure, we might die tomorrow, but this is nice. I wouldn’t really mind dying.”
“You know, what would’ve been nice, Hange?” Nanaba said, watching Hange. And despite the words itself, she was smiling. “To not mention death.”
“I know but,” Hange sat up, grinning. “This is not too bad as a last night of your life right? I wouldn’t mind.”
And for a second, no one spoke. Perhaps, it was because all were drunk more or less but that hit harder in that moment. Unsaid words were spoken in silence, the wind carrying the oaths away. And even Levi’s eyes had softened.
Only Hange could say words like that with that face, you thought. You weren’t sad, not really. Because Hange was right. Being a scout meant learning to appreciate every breath you can take, and nights like this were as good as they’d come.
“Aww Hange.” You sighed, grinning back. “Cheesy much? You’re making Levi all squirmy.”
“No, I am not—” Levi’s protests were buried as the group jumped in yet again another session of Levi leg-pulling.
But despite it all, Levi thought.
Pissheads, all of them were. But nevertheless.
He watched you with the corner of his eyes, watching you as you laughed your head off to something Eld said, shoulders shaking, the firelight making your eyes glitter. And you were so close, so close, he could hardly breathe. And the urge to wrap an arm around you, to pull you closer. To feel you against him.Would that be so wrong of him? If he leaned close, would you pull away? But it’s okay, he thinks.
Hange was right.
It’s okay if he dies tomorrow. He wouldn’t really mind.
He didn’t really mind right now either.
He finds it strange that he didn’t really mind it. Any of it.
He didn’t mind Hange or Nanaba or any of them.
He didn’t mind your stupid little jokes, clearly made with the intention to piss him off. He didn’t really mind that you were so close. He didn’t mind that your head on his shoulder. He didn’t mind a lot of things that he thinks he would’ve minded if it was anyone else but you.
He doesn’t really know how it works. He doesn’t like thinking about the strange little feelings in his heart that tugged everytime you smiled, or the way his stomach tightened whenever you flirted with him so casually.
And maybe one day he’ll tell you. Maybe he won’t
Does it matter? Is it not enough to only have you alive and close?
He’s here now. With everyone and with you.
He’s home.
#IM SAD OKAY#ik its kinda bad im just really really busy :c#I miss aot#and i miss levi#and i miss my friends#watching levi miss his friends made me sadder#also i believe their fav hobby was to bully levi#i also believe that levi would rather die than admit he's in love with you#stubborn little shit#ilhsm#levi ackerman#levi#aot#captain levi#levi heichou#aot fandom#snk#levi x reader#aot fanfiction#snk fanfiction#levi x yn#aot levi x reader#levi x y/n#levi x reader imagine#levi x reader imagines#levi fluff#levi thoughts#levi x you#erurihan#Spotify
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Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?
#are you guys all okay? i definitely am not okay#this is not the type of media that i usually go for yet it is EXACTLY the type of media that i would like#so many gaps so many stories WAY TOO MUCH READING I DONT HAVE THE TIME#i know i missed a lot because ive only watched the anime and read the main music story up to ch 4 of the second part#and i have read some events stories that were free#and maybe one or two outside from translations#but like thats it#this is like reading orv and getting hit with its deep metas on human life and the importance of stories#but instead im being clobbered by the most deranged storylines known to man (and again. i read ORV and am a bsd fan)#this isnt fantasy but there is nothing realistic about enstars and i unfortunately am attached#every day i spiral into east asian media that gives me an aneurysm#bsd -> orv -> link click -> enstars....i wanna say they keep getting more unhinged but theyre all unhinged in different ways#anyway please help me....#enstars#ensemble stars#fandom spamdom#stuff i say#i will admit i am mostly into the game for the stories#a consistent gamer i am not#but to unlock the stories ill push back the animes i have to catch up on etc etc#again. please help me....#edit: updated to remove queerbaiting because apparently i dont know whats going on
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honestly the way and speed at which I went from "wait, who's Tommy? oh he's been on the show before? wait, who?" to "omg why are people obsessing over this guy already" to "I still don't really see it" in 7x03 to "oh no I love this but I don't like him calling buck evan" to "Tommy calling Buck evan is the greatest thing and I adore this so much" and to just being so fucking obsessed with him and bucktommy is so fucking insane lmao
it happened so quickly and so intensely, he won me over before he even kissed Buck istg, and then bucktommy just took up permanent residence in my brain lol
lou ferrigno jr I'm obsessed with you, sorry I ever doubted the tommy storyline lol
#tommy kinard#bucktommy#i can admit when im wrong okay 🤣#and i was very very very wrong 🤣#also istg i could not remember him even after googling but tbf i watched all of 911 in like a week so its all a blur 🤣#but now im obsessed
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me: i don't suck dick
eddie munson acting silly and cutie patootie in the forest drug deal scene: here comes the airplane
me: 😲😲😲😲😲😲
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me wheb cccc cover art *explodes*
#im gonna admit i dont really like how this came out but im okay w it#couldve gone a lot worse#starsfanarts#starsfanarts: chonny jash#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#cccc soul#cj soul#cccc whole#cj whole#tw stitches#tw blood
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That s7 episode where House is fangirling over that children author. you know which one i mean. „unwritten”. This one
Objectively hilarious premise, especially when we find out:
There are two love interests for a girl character and while Sam Carr,
(who is also a fangirl. Wilson has to put up with Two dearest to him people infodumping about their favorite kids book. autism real)
supports one of them, House says something along the lines of „Why can’t she have both?”, implying a polyamorous relationship between a girl and two guys.
Anyway, in this essay I will prove how the House/Wilson/Cuddy agenda is basically canon-
#house md#in da house#okay ill admit i havent watch the ep in a while but like i’m 80 percent sure#also the screencaps are from yt im sorry#this was the only way#gregory house#greg house#james wilson#hilson#huddy#lisa cuddy#hudson#as proposed by someone#meta#not really#sam carr#unwritten#s7#season 7
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I think another thing I like about starscream, yet hate that the fandom fails to acknowledge about starscream is that, a lot of his rotten personality and his nastiness comes from way before he meets megatron and way before he was a deception.
That’s not to say that a lot of the ways he acts doesn't mirror megatron and the mistreatment he went through. and that impacts how starscream heals, makes friends, etc., idw - like what megatron did still badly affects him and that's not something to be ignored, and it's still not fair that he doesn't get the same happiness megatron did.
But, I think that people do tend to act as if Starscream was perfect and uncorrupt before Megatron.
That's not true...starscream was also a rotten, manipulative and bad person before that. and a lot of that was in response to how he was treated and hating his own body/existence, and the caste system, etc. We see how a lot of people in transformers react to oppression and I think starscream is such an interesting case of someone who is so angry and furious at the system he was created in that he takes it out on others yet still fights for himself and only himself. It is sad, and it’s awful to see how his own existence and the caste system does destroy him, but I think its important to note and to understand to just see how oppressed people still have to fight through their own oppression and sometimes, because of that, because of the trauma they go through, turn rotten. And Starscream did terrible, sneaky, and awful things. He did shitty things to climb to the top and he hurt those around him, he hurt people he trusted him, and he was happy to be that way. No one made him evil, manipulative, or untrustworthy, he did that on his own.
I don’t like that a lot of the fandom tends to tie Starsream’s negative and problematic behavior and personality to megatron because it also takes away from a lot of growth, agency and discussion about starscream’s personality and why he is the way he is.
He wasn’t a perfect, innocent and shy person before he met megatron, or before he became a deception. He still did awful things and while becoming a deception was a way he could grow past the system that created him, he still did very much do so for power. Starscream was an ambitious yet a morally ambiguous person before megatron and he had to be to survive in his own mind. His life wasn’t perfect and happy before megatron, he was still fighting and he was still scheming to survive.
I really don’t like how people kind of take that away from him, and act like everything he does and every shitty way he acts is *because* of megatron. I know it’s not fun to have to admit that he wasn’t a good person before megatron met him, but I think it’s necessary to understand his character, and not a lot of people do. And when you don’t do that, you have people misinterpreting his character and being genuinely shocked when he does villainous things. Like for instance, sky bound starscream’s actions shock a lot of people because they don’t think that he is a villain - I remember a lot of ES critique is that earthspark starscream doesn’t need a redemption act- he just needs people to love and accept him. And I think you guys forgot that he was also a space fascist and enjoyed killing people on his own accord. And while megatron himself does impact how starscream acts and treats others - starscream still was an extremely problematic person eons before he met megatron.
I don’t think this negates just how badly Megatron’s treatment fucked him up, and made it so that it was difficult for him to form relationships even after, or find happiness. And I think that’s just something that cannot be ignored. But I also think starscream is more interesting as a character if the fandom acknowledged that he was this way before, that he wasn’t perfect or innocent, and that he reacted that way because he was unhappy with is life, his station, his caste, etc.
this also isn't a chance to come and try to excuse how megatron treated him, so pls don't do that on here.
#i remember looking at an earthspark video and it's like 'starscream does bad things but none of it is his fault because of meg-'#and im like 'nooooo'#it's okay for people to acknolwedge that he was 'bad' to begin with#i don't know how we as a fandom got to the point where they convinced themselves he wasn't a villain#and when you tie EVERYTHING he does to his time with megs#then you invalidate him#he is more than than his relationship with megs (also not saying his name bcos i don't want it to end up in his tag)#like it makes me so upset when fans tie everything he does to him#and it's like they are afraid to admit that he is evil and highly problematic#and in many ways just like megs BEFORE he met him#because you guys again - think a victim can only be one way#it's insulting#starscream#transformers#also sorry for the slurry of unpopular starscream opinions#i just hate how i feel that his character is only allowed to be seen s *one* way
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What if I were mentally ill and void of the light's presence and hung out with Alleria Windrunner wouldn't that be really cool
#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#alleria windrunner#The War Within#Im gonna manifest shadowreaper into WoW even if I have to sell my soul to the devil#some form of that voidy ass bitch WILL appear in WoW i swear to god#Hearthstone made the coolest fucking version of Anduin and never touched him again#Okay but seriously Anduin does have some small history with void and it would make me so happy#if we got to see some portion of his story arc revolve around it and using it#and I dont mean in a 'lets have a second villain arc' i mean more like#bro is a priest lets explore how shadow can be harnessed for good#as it clearly can be like using void doesnt automatically make him evil#ive seen some ppl assume i want a second evil arc and thats not really what this is#I will admit...I did make him look kinda evil inthis drawing tho.
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Don't Forget Me // I Won't Forget You
#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 vertin#reverse 1999 schneider#verneider#vertin x schneider#reverse 1999 sonetto#reverse 1999 sotheby#reverse 1999 tennant#reverse 1999 necrologist#art tag#writing tag#the doomed yuri got to me boys lmfao#also#i had to look up a background okay!! im admitting that bc i cant do backgrounds for shit
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regular egghead luffy (because i adore his dress) versus if oda robin and nami-ified the guys outfits too
#this was an excuse to draw luffy in a crop top#im okay with admitting that#luffy#anime#manga#art#drawing#one piece#op#one piece art#op art#fanart#monkey d luffy#egghead luffy#egghead#luffy week#no particular prompt#just him
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i dont think its a crime to make music (or art in general) that might be considered bad but if im going to have to hear about taylor swift all the time because people keep hyping her up as the most talented lyricist of our generation when the lyrics in question are Like This i AM going to be a little hater. because what the hell is this
#sorry i had to look up the stuff in that post to make sure it was real. Its real .#every time i see someone say taylor swift is the best songwriter ever or something i feel like im being lied to because what .#like i get that its a matter of opinion just because something doesnt appeal to me doesnt mean it cant appeal to others#but . bad lyrics aside . even the tswift songs i can admit are decentish dont feel like anything special i dont Get it .#maybe thats why shes so popular actually. she makes it generic and boring on purpose to appeal to as many people as possible#okay bye now i have to find shelter before the swiftie army comes after me
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If you’ve read the Song of Achilles, what’s your opinion on it? Should I read it? What’s the age range?
#im bored#evan rosier#Barty hasn’t responded#Evan is still not okay#he has been in the dorm#blasting music in his earbuds#mostly loud things#like clipping.#also things like Taylor Swift#but he’d never admit to liking her music#music#the song of achilles#achilles#achilles and patroclus#patroclus#patrochilles#patroclus and achilles
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tshirt that says i enjoy overdramatic and slightly silly science fiction but sincerity is a must at all times.
#usa president says NO i admit it i am racist.... because im scared.... i try not to be but i am.. youre just so different to me......#but ... i want to try.... and stop... 🫶🏻 and he disarms.the nukes#and then when the nukes are didabled world peace is enacted and allof a sudden all men can understand eachothers language . ohhhh i get it!#when fear stops dividing us we will realize our oneness ! .okay good job sci fi writer i can tell you were doodling little rainbows and#smiley faces on the edge of the screenplay
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#.................... i've got no defence for this one#started reading the novelisation of revenge of the sith and my love for anakin has come back full force#THE original problematic fave okay#0 note post incoming but i dont care this is for me and me only#im thinking about the fact he told himself he did everything he did for the sake of love#for the sake of a world where injustice would no longer be able to run rampant under the apathetic bureaucracy of the republic#only for him to get to the end of it all and realise he'd been manipulated right from the start#and in his arrogance and blindness. he'd allowed himself to lose everything he told himself he was fighting for#but he can't admit that to himself. can't admit he'd forsaken himself in such a way#he can't go back to being anakin because that means admitting what he'd done and facing his own internal consequences#so he fully submerses himself into the identity of vader instead. allows the anger and hate to fester#star wars#anakin skywalker#darth vader#quotes#literature#web weave#hayden christensen
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on the first day of school one time one of my teachers was asking the class to share all their opinions as like a get to know each other thing and one was 'is cheating okay' and apparently my opinion on this. did not align with almost anyone else (that couldve just been because they didnt want to admit it in class) so i am asking the people. to be clear when i say grade school i mean from grades 1-12. This is NOT about anything past that.
#personally! yes i do think it is okay to cheat!!!!#im fine with admitting ive cheated before#i think everyone has at some point#dont get me wrong i think school is important#obviously learn the material know what youre doing etc etc#but i think the actual class is way more important than test grades#i think my latin teacher has the right idea honestly#he completely cut out test grades from his class. he doesnt give tests he doesnt really give homework#your grade depends entirely on the amount of effort you put in#its learning for the sake of learning instead of memorizing things for a test#and i have learned just about as much latin from 2 months of classes with that teacher as i did in the couple years of spanish i took#i think the way tests in schools work is fundamentally flawed honestly. it works in theory but thats about it#okay im gonna stop now but. im curious!!
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I definitely don't see this take AS much as I used to anymore but I do think us Astarion fans need to remember that not EVERY single instance of him being cruel or uncaring is a direct result of his trauma.
Like no offense but I don't think he approves of you flinging Barcus Wroot from the heights like a discus because he was in his trauma or whatever I think he just genuinely found that shit hilarious.
#bg3#astarion#i think most people here understand this#but every once in a while i'll see a take on him that's like#ALL of his bad qualities can blamed directly on his trauma and or cazador's influence and im just like 🤨#bb are you sure abt that?#like it's okay to admit he's a little shit#you can still like him i promise it's fine
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