Last year in August I had my first ever live drag gig as a solo act. It was at Alan Cumming’s cabaret venu here in NYC, Club Cumming and I was so nervous. I rehearsed three or four times a day for a whole month leading up to it (I still remember it was on August 1st, that date is burned into my brain). I did my reanimator act in the open set, just for tips and no booking fee.

If you told me that just under a year later I’d be helping to produce and soon be running and hosting that show I’d never have believed you.

In other news- because tbh this other au holds more meaning in my heart (just cuz of how I relate to Donnie the most out of all of the aus), I genuinely am craving for angst with hurt/comfort for Leo Jr au.

sooo time for THOUGHTS I really am longing for moments with Leo Jr and Donnie, because...hnk- Donnie actually receiving comfort, care, patient understanding and acceptance instead of being told to suck it up or being ridiculed/treated like a ticking time bomb???? Means the world to me????? Idk- I guess my soul just aches for this version of Donnie who didn't get that safe space Leonardo's Donnie did. (i get the au is mainly Leo-centric, but for some reason this version of Don-tron ya created has somehow wormed his way into my heart and he is truly my favorite iteration in terms of aus???)

When I tell you that I felt my heart break over the silly comic where Leonardo says that Leo Jr and Casey Jr are twins, solely due to what that implies to the overall story. In a sense, Leo Jr gets to have variations of the life he would have if he hadn't been kidnapped (by all technicalities Leo Jr IS a victim of kidnapping no matter how wholesome it turned out to be). He gets to know the joys of having a twin, of being able to goof around and laugh, being understood/accepted, being able to make friends and be a kid! Meanwhile...Donnie (the one who was MEANT to have Leo as his twin) didn't get any of that. It hit hard that, even if it wasn't intentional by any means, Don was "easily replaced." (which idk if it's intentional or not, but that seems to be a reoccurring theme for the spiny softshell in this au). He'll never really have that close knit bond, not know what it's like, even if Leo Jr and him do grow close during their teenage years. Because in this reality, the "Disaster Twins" exist, Donnie's just not apart of it. Which is just another way that shows how much of a stranger the kid is to everyone who is supposed to be his family; his father, two brothers, and even the one who was at one point meant to be his twin.

That thought is sorta what led me down the rabbit hole of Leo Jr AU! Don brainrot. The kid's reality is one of neglect, extreme isolation, fear and...probably a deep well of self-hatred, loneliness, non existent self-worth, etc. (we saw how he struggled with in Rise Canon, so i can only imagine it is so much worse in this au). I can only imagine that this also impacts his ninpo and mystics later on, which probably is going to make his self-esteem take a nosedive.

Ngl if Leonardo's twin (who I'm gonna call Tello) is actually watching over his past self, it makes me wonder what he's thinking. His pov would be intriguing consider he'd be witnessing how much pain his twin's actions caused. Idk- I just- when I look at everything from this particular au, it makes me hope that Donnie is allowed to feel his big feelings without people trying to rush him. He should be allowed to be terrified, hurt, angry, etc towards Splinter and Leonardo. Neither of them deserve his forgiveness, because shit- both of them fucked up big time. They both caused complex trauma...and like- really need to face consequences. (apart of me sorta hopes Donnie DOESN'T forgive them) dakjsfsadfas sorry for rambling, not sure if any of that made sense, but I just- I have so many feelings about Donnie in the Leo Jr au, and really want to see more of him!

The sewers were a gross place to live if you asked Junior but Splinter refused to move to the hidden city. Luckily he had his portals meaning he could step into the already cleaned portion they called a home.

“Leo!” Mikey was the first to notice him. Dropping the plates on the table he was setting them vaulting over it, “You came!”

“It’s still Junior,” He reminded for the umpteenth time, “And yeah I said I would,”

Mikey collided into him for a hug. Junior gave a small wave to Raph- or Red, probably Red as the snapper wasn’t meeting his eyes while trying to hide his scowl. Splinter was setting the table in Mikeys stead, making wayyy too much eye contact as he kept staring at Junior. He was placing the plates down carelessly. The one in front of Donnie was placed down with a crack, only Junior caught his flinch.

“Great, he’s here, I saw him,” Donnie pushed away from the table in a frenzied movement, “Can I please leave now,”

“Purple your brother is here, that is more important than some computer,” Splinter snapped. No one took note of the way both Donnie and Junior cringed. 

“Nah he’s just tryna get out of showing me his lab since he promised last time,” Junior stepped forward and away from Mikey.

“I did no such thing,” Donnie scowled at him as Junior came around to his side,

“No use backing out now Dee,” Junior grinned, shuffling towards Donnie so the softshell backed away. Kind of like herding a very liable to bite sheep, “I’m expecting the grand tour, don't wait up everyone! “

But dinner…” Junior pretended he didn’t hear Mikey as he walked Donnie towards his room office lab space.

It was empty, with sections obviously organized out to put things there but with not enough actual stuff to do it. Donnie held himself like a tightly drawn string as they walked in. Not looking at Junior as the red slider circled around to the other's bed.

“What did you want to see?” Donnie asked tiredly as Junior came up behind him, “Most of my stuff is at the old place, or the other old place, or-”

Donnie was cut off by the blanket being draped over his head like a tablecloth.

“Nothing much,” Junior shrugged stepping away as Donnie went very still under the blanket, “Just had to get out of there, think I might sit quietly against a wall for the next half hour, not say anything, not do anything, you know how it is,”

Junior slid down the wall. He would have to go back eventually, or the others would break down the door and pull them both back to dinner. He estimated he had about thirty six minutes before that happened and that he could convince them to leave Donnie be. He’d say he asked if the softshell could make something for him. Something big so Donnie would have an excuse to disappear for the next week or so. They tended not to bother the other turtle as much if they thought he was doing stuff for the yokai.

The blanket shuffled, bunching up on the ground as Donnie sat near him. Only just within arms reach. He was covered head to toe, curled up and completely silent. Junior occupied himself trying to come up with a believable project. Maybe a new mask? That way he could wear his old one and the others would never know, it’s not like Splinter ever let them follow Junior to the battle nexus.

The blanket shifted but Donnie didn’t emerge. A hand poked out the bottom, listing up the cloth and bunching it up while still keeping the soft shell hidden. Junior reached his hand out halfway. Donnie couldn't see it but paused when his searching hand brushed up against it. Junior kept still, waiting, not minding one way or the other.

Donnie held his fingers, squeezing lightly. Junior squeezed back, not taking Donnie’s whole hand but meeting him where he was. It was pleasant, it was quiet. The noise from the others blocked off. A little bubble away from everything where they could just be. 

Junior thought growing up in the sewers may have not been all bad… if he got to do it with Donnie.

Full Thoughts on TDP Season 5

Under the cut, because there are many of them!

Starting off with things I liked:

Rayllum! It was so good to see them on the same page again, and they have a perfect balance between deep, romantic devotion and the shared laughter and gestures of best friends. Their dynamic this season was my favorite iteration of them so far

Janai and Amaya were wonderful as well. I was really bracing for Amaya to leave for Lux Area without telling Janai and a whole bunch of drama to ensue, but no! They communicate! They trust each other! It's so refreshing!

Side note: Lux Area was gorgeous the detail in every shot of the city and Bookery was so good. I want to live there. I will take on the night creatures if need be

I hoped we'd get an apology from Amaya for Rayla, and I'm really glad they took the time to put it in the show instead of a short story or anything like that. It was also cool to see Amaya recognizing the similarities she and Rayla share and acting as more of a mentor to her, I hope we see more of them together later on

The reoccurring message that oftentimes the best way to be strong is by going to other people for help- first Amaya's story, then Rayla trusting Callum, then Zubeia's talk with Avizandum. It's a very good moral

That whole thing with Soren and Elmer! Breaking the cycle of cruelty! I love Soren so much

Callum using dark magic again. I thought I would hate it if that happened, since we've seen a corruption plotline with him and with Claudia already, but the way it was done sort of added a good sense of realism. I like that Callum isn't a Perfectly Moral Mage just because he can do primal magic; it feels deeper and more complicated if he has to recognize that the easier, darker choice is always there, and sometimes he won't be able to resist it, but he has to try each time anyway

So many little moments that I'll probably be going into in separate posts because the dynamic between the characters was on fire. It was so good to see the team really working together, their chemistry was so good

Things I wasn't as much of a fan of:

The problem with the show really relying on people to read all the supplementary material is still present. I was pretty confused about who Kpp'Ar was until I looked him up on the wiki, and again, people who didn't know about Soren getting sick as a kid from the Book 2 novelization really wouldn't have gotten his part of the dream sequence. It doesn't ruin the show or anything but it does make it a little confusing at times

The plotline with the coins is starting to feel a little drawn-out. Runaan's presence would bring up enough complications between Rayla and the rest of the group that he needs enough time out of the coin to give that the weight it deserves, and I'm really hoping he gets out next season so we can have at least season 7 to go into that. Also, Ethari needs his husband back

As good as it was to see rayllum back together, I do still think we needed a scene of them actually talking things through. I'm sure it'll appear in a Reflections story at some point, but again, you don't want your show to lean that heavily on the bonus material

This is more of a nitpick than anything else, but the characters' faces in the early episodes felt really stiff. They'd be having a monologue where you could really hear the emotion in their voices, but their faces just... didn't really move

And finally: too many crabs. This is not a flaw with the season this is just because I personally am freaked out by crabs and I've never been so horrified in all my life as when the true nature of Finnegrin's ship was revealed. It'll haunt me forever

Overall I liked it a lot, and I'm really excited to see where it goes next! Claudia feels like she's on the very edge of the point of no return, if she hasn't already crossed it, and it'll be very interesting to see how she reacts to the loss of her leg and (most likely) the loss of her father next season. I'm also very excited for the nova blade, that sounds like a gorgeous piece of weaponry and seeing whoever wields it (my money's on Rayla) fighting Aaravos is going to be epic. This season has definitely ratcheted up my investment in the show, which I'm very excited about

I did this again!! I drew Eight in a bunch of TMNT styles a little while ago and Eight and Okami's stories are very closely connected so I've had her story kind of sitting in my head for weeks and I couldn't resist any longer!

I posted this template here and the version with Eight is here!

Lore dump beneath the cut!

Usual Appearance/TMNT-ified (my style)

This is Okami's usual appearance throughout Fallen Renegades! She's a mutant wolf/bat hybrid that was used in a dog fighting ring for several years before she escaped, eventually meeting Eight and stepping up as a parental figure for him. Her story wouldn't change much when TMNT-ified other than the fact that she would inevitably run into the turtles!

1987

I hate how this version looks, I don't know what's happening here. Okami would probably be a minor character in like one episode of the show, probably just some random street thug that gets mutated into a wolf with bat wings because of something Krang did to try and make SUPER MUTANTS or something. Idk lol

2003

In 2003, Okami would probably be a reoccurring character. She'd appear some time in season one, probably as an antagonist for the turtles. She was created by some shady government agency as a mutant attack dog and used for years as a weapon, but managed to escape just a short time before meeting the turtles. At first she attacks them, as she's become used to essentially attacking anything that moves for most of her existence, but after she and the turtles have to work together to take down some mutual threat they establish an unsteady alliance. Over time the government agency that created her (maybe Bishop?) pops back up occasionally, and once and a while Okami is driven back to her original state and fights against the turtles. She is usually a helpful ally for them though. Like I mentioned in Eight's version he and Okami would be introduced separately in this version of the show and make their own independent appearances throughout season one, but then they would meet at some point in season two and all of their appearances after would be together!

Bayverse

Like last time I don't have a ton of lore for the Bayverse version of these characters. They were probably created together by Baxter Stockman and then Okami broke both her and Eight out and they kind of chill around the city until they help the turtles with something. I think this is actually my favorite drawing out of this set I'm kind of mad I don't have more story for it.

2012

2012 Okami was mutated by the Kraang in an experiment to add useful secondary mutations to their creations. Eight was another part of this experiment, and he and Okami ended up in neighboring containment cells. Okami's experiments focused more on the physical aspects of mutation while Eight's focused more on the internal, and when his pyrotechnic abilities kicked in it was extremely destructive. Okami was able to use the destruction to break them both out, and they were able to catch a portal to Earth. The two of them spend most of their time in the show in Kraang-related conflicts, often aiding the turtles when needed because Eight made friends with Mikey.

Rise

In Rise, Hamato Tala is a world-renowned professional boxer who fights under the name "Okami". She was a part of the Hamato clan and is a cousin to Hamato Yoshi, but her family was a bit more distant and disconnected from the usual Hamato duty since her father had also tried to defect from the clan. Like Yoshi she ended up turning her back on most tradition to seek fame and glory, though she pursued hers in the boxing ring. She found her fame, but she also found loneliness... until this little alley cat began following her around after her New York matches. She found the scrappy little guy endearing and somewhat took care of him, until one night an oozesquito bit her. She was mutated into a timber wolf/vampire bat hybrid, and (after eating the oozesquito) Eight became more humanoid and also had some of Okami's DNA. Okami basically said "well I guess this child is my responsibility now" and illegally adopted him, though the legality of the situation doesn't really matter because when she tries to go back to her human life it turns out no one recognizes her and if she tries to explain herself most people freak out. So she stops wrestling in the pro rings and instead starts taking jobs at smaller rings that are a whole lot less legal but at least make her money... and let her use her new, animalistic strength. Then of course eventually she and her adopted son run into the turtles and she finds out that, in gaining some of her DNA, Eight now has Hamato ninpo... in a very, very unstable way. Basically now this kid that she picked up on the street hears ghosts and explodes occasionally and this is something Okami is just cursed to deal with now.

Rise Movie (the future version that's not super clear on the template)

Okami dies a year or two after the Krang take over, and with her final breath she transfers the rest of her ninpo over to Eight. This stabilizes Eight's abilities and maybe it would mean that Okami doesn't get a ghost form but I don't really care, I wanted to draw her human form and also let me have some happiness imagining Four (the bas future version of Eight) talking to his ghost mom. Anyway I made a comic about this timeline and Eight's name changing to Four and it shows Okami's death lol

Mutant Mayhem

Okami was raised in a dog fighting ring before she was mutated. In fact, TCRI bought her out of the ring in order to have more test subjects as they were working to recreate Baxter Stockman's mutagen. They ran tests on her right alongside a certain burmese kitten, and for a wile both animals were deemed as failures. Of course, inevitably Eight gained his fire abilities. It was in the midst of the lab fire that Eight sparked that more of TCRI's mutagen prototypes were spilt, and the heat of Eight's flames made them a bit more effective. Okami grabbed him and dragged him out of the lab, and in the process both animals got a second dousing of mutagen that was much more effective than the first. After this Okami ended up raising Eight and took on a very similar mindset to both Splinter and Superfly; everyone is evil, stay safe and hidden. Okami is extremely protective in this version and genuinely believes everyone is out to get them, and she takes on a bit of an antagonistic role until she finally learns to chill out.

Fun fact: Okami was actually originally a TMNT OC long before Fallen Renegades existed, so it was kinda nostalgic designing these <3 she's come a LONG way since I first made her

In honor of Black History Month…

Kellita Smith ✨

With over 25 years in the game, Kellita Smith has graced our screens with her charming performances and captivating beauty.

Most remember her from The Bernie Mac Show and Z Nation. However, Kellita Smith’s career spans all the way back to the early 90’s.

From her first appearance in the hit TV show, In Living Color to her reoccurring roles on Martin, The Jamie Foxx Show and many more. She has shown her versatility in acting whether it’s comedy or drama.

Raised in the inner city of East Oakland, California; Kellita Smith grew up as a Black Panther’s cub attending Oakland Community Learning Center.

Here is where she would learn the importance of character development, what it meant to be an impact in her community and moving her culture forward. These are values that she would take with her into adulthood and also use to help cultivate her craft as an artist.

More than just an actor, Kellita Smith is also a philanthropist and speaks to many disadvantaged women outside of the spotlight.

Kellita Smith being one of my favorite actresses and top women I admire, I wanted to make this post in dedication to the influential figures we celebrate in Black History and their impact.

As just one of her many supporters, I celebrate Kellita Smith and her contribution to Black Television, the acting world and her community. ✨

“…I really think what it is to be uniquely different or to be uniquely impactful is to be black… It’s unique!” - Kellita Smith

Writer: Cemecia M.

(Ref: IMDb) (Ref: YouTube: Nate Jackson Radio Show - Kellita Smith Interview - February 2020) (Ref: Touré Show - Kellita Smith Interview - November 2020)

ok i need to get this off my chest abt totk's dungeon soundtracks this isnt necessarily a criticism but just a... idk man its confusing hang on

ok. totk's dungeon themes. theyre good im not going to lie they arent my favorite of the series but totk did deliver some good dungeon themes. what i'm confused about is the choice to use the champion's and divine beast's leitmotifs in the dungeons, like using daruks theme and bits of rudania's theme for the fire temple. that's the first that comes to mind cuz thats the one i like best but i think it was especially noticeable to me for the wind temple, the water temple's theme has some similar instrumentation and some very similar sounding phrases and when i see comments or people talking abt the dungeon themes it is very common to see people talk about the champion and divine beast leitmotifs being used.

and like. fine it sounds nice there is an emotional connection there if you have played botw but like. why are their fucking leitmotifs in totk's dungeon themes???

if you give a character or something a leitmotif, then that little string of notes represents that character or location or concept. usage of that leitmotif is therefore intrinsically tied to that character or whatever. this worked out with zelda's theme throughout the series, esp in totk when it's given the instrumentation of the dragon's themes, so that musical phrase at that moment basically says 'zelda, but a dragon' and like. yknow. leitmotif that literally represents something.

i believe the wind temple's theme incorporates some of rito villages theme, and in turn rito village having the same melody as dragon roost island makes sense, that's effectively a motif meant to represent the rito, like the reoccurring zora's domain and goron city motifs throughout the series, or hyrule castle. when characters have themes in past zelda games that play at different times, it means something about the character being referenced. midna's lament using midna's theme to show that this scene is about midna, she is in danger. fi's different themes playing when she is the center of attention or her leitmotif referenced in botw/totk when she literally makes subtle cameos. linebeck's theme only every plays in scenes where he has some sort of big moment or in the final boss theme because it's only fair that the final boss theme include the motif that represents him because he is the final boss. groose's theme shows up various times in his little scenes (and i believe there might be hints of it in later imprisoned themes?? i'd have to check but it would make sense since he's helping)

so... if you reuse a leitmotif that is tied to something, then reasonably that means that the context in which it's being reused is somehow related to or concerning what that leitmotif represents.

but... daruk's theme and some bits reminiscent of rudania's theme play in the fire temple's theme. reasonably, i would hear this and be like, ah, so this has something to do with daruk, or the divine beast? the usage of his character leitmotif suggests that he is related to this somehow. thats... usually the point of using a character leitmotif like was done in the fire temple's theme!

and yet the champions and divine beasts are not so much as referenced in totk's stories, and you can't even try to the point of their themes being used due to the new sages being relatives, because tulin is not related to revali- he doesn't even get the great eagle bow until after the dungeon, and still no reference to revali is made when he gets it.

so then... why are we referencing botw's champions if they do not matter? why not use the sage's leitmotifs in the dungeon themes instead? the dungeons are much more related to the new sages, and it would allow players to become more familiar to that leitmotif, and would further tie the experience to that dungeon with its related sage, instead of tying it to dead characters that mean jack shit to the story of totk.

it's just really weird that they use motifs from the champions and divine beasts, since that won't click for people who didn't play botw, and it just calls back to stuff not important to totk anyways. the divine beasts have literally no relation to the dungeons, the champions are barely even relevant to the world in totk. i get that the leitmotifs were used as like... maybe some sort of extra pre-existing racial connection motifs, but... use the sage's themes? don't use leitmotifs that have absolutely nothing to do with this game or it's story? sure it sounds nice but the meaning behind those leitmotifs make no actual sense in this new context, unless you're trying to suggest that they actually have a different meaning than being the motifs of the characters and locations that were originally what they were used for.

Episode 4 (CLOTH GANG!!!)

So here we have Sly changing in to his Modern Form. That happens with a lot of reoccurring characters, like they'll have a proto form and then the second time they show up they're The Guy They'll Be The Rest Of The Time, because both me and the voice actor will have a little more time to think about the dude and what we want them to be. And that's always fun But now let's talk about The Bottom So I had already started thinking about the outward world building, I'd gotten started on that on the last episode. I also started on how our little guy was going to change, how he'd go through phases. Like The Murderer, The Warrior, The Gardener etc. And I'd mapped all that out and where it would end. (and that stuff hasn't changed that's still where were going)

But after that episode I started thinking about Where The Story Would Go From Here. And of course, at this point, just following Hollow Knights story was more than enough! Our little guy needed to descend farther down into the Abyss for some unknown reason, so here he goes! I started a rudimentary plan for what he would find down there, and how I would handle that, and then I beefed it up as I went.

But, I came up with a lot of it in the middle of editing this episode. That's why it's the first time our little guy mentions "Getting to the bottom" And That was something I added, like, in post. Those lines with sly I went to dalsson a few days before it released, and the scene where our little guy talks to himself on the elevator about his motivations for doing anything I recorded the day before it released.

So all that stuff was a super last minute addition that lead to the rest of the story! You know how it is! But some stuff I did have solidified when I started work on the episode is how the Myla stuff was going to go down. This was also the first real glimpse into how I was going to expand on Pre-Infection Hallownest and it's collapse. This was also where I added, I think my first clue to anything that would happen in the last episode. At this point I had essentially one major twist planned for it, that major twist is essentially a minor twist at this point that is a piece of the major twist. I keep hyping up the last episode, and a lot of that is me jsut being really excited to get to it! It's gonna be a hell of a lot of fun! Frezon's performance as The Hunter is probably my favorite out of all the ones he's done. I told him "Just voice him like he's Einhar from Path of Exile" and boy howdy did he give me just that!

Millebelle being like that Is just because I thought the idea of a character who who attempts to explain the reason she's wearing a bank robber suit and is carrying a giant sack that says $$$ is due to macroeconomic necessity, is really funny. I need everyone to understand 50%-75% of all the jokes I write are for me but you can laugh to if you want.

For Instance, Cornifer refers to the mantises as a "Proud warrior race with an interesting culture" who "relegated themselves down here when the city of tears expanded" Because I wrote conifer to be a guy who kinda gets stuck in his biases. Not because he's a jingoist or anything, more that he hears the school yard version of Other Cultures and kinda just assumes that's how it is for the rest of his life. Mostly because Cornifer looks a hell of a lot like a dude I knew in High School who was like that. The paragraph I wrote about conifer in The Lore bible was Sympathy For The Unimpressive White Guy or something like that. He's coming to the end of his arc soon. Big things coming for him!

So the Cloth recording session was a lot of fun. Me, Dergo, and Dalsson were all in the call while we were doing those lines, and those lines included the argument with Hornet about the fighters she liked that we're of course also directors. Pidwess = Paul W.S. Anderson, Zide = Zach Snyder, and May = Micheal Bay. And, of course, Hornet argues that these guys suck ass, and refers to them as The Vulgar Artists because I have heard those guys refereed to as the Vulgar Auteurs, and that's the most pretentious possible way to refer to these guys and I think it's really funny.

And so we're recording this argument Dergo who voices Cloth goes "Cloth is totally in the right here Hornet is a dumb nerd! Cloth Gang!" Dalsson responds "FUCK YEAH CLOTH GANG!!!" And the rest of the conversation went Me: "Well you see hornet is trying to point out that-" Dergo: "SHUDDUP THEL CLOTH GANG!" Dalsson: "WHOOO CLOTH GANG! YEAH!" Me: "But you see-" Dergo: "CLOTH GANG! CLOTH GANG!" Dalsson: CLOTH GANG! CLOTH GANG!" Me: "h-hornet gang-" Dergo: "CLOTH GANG! CLOTH GANG!" Dalsson: "CLOTH GANG! CLOTH GANG!"

And it was extraordinarily funny. That's why we have an Emote in the discord (which is here btw and anyone can join! https://discord.gg/vT9brYHgu7) just called Cloth Gang And also why it's in the description! also, a thing I am surprised no one has pointed out. Cloth is the first person who mentions the Iridescents! And we'll talk about that more when the grim video comes around!

6. Favorite character

honestly it's Mokuba LOL

his progression from "lmfao insane murder child this guy is SO fucking funny" to "oh my god this poor kid he deserved so much better" is just such a wild ride. I think that being an important, reoccuring, BUT also very side character made his development occur more naturally somehow??? idk. he doesn't flip a switch and turn into a good guy. the trust he shows in Yugi grows GRADUALLY, and you see a lot of resistance and uncertainty to it.

but you also see him stand up to Seto and say, Yugi's friendship speeches are annoying, but he looks happy!!!!!!!

you see him give up his desire to hold onto the past in real time to help his brother. and it doesn't feel forced, it feels very much like a child who was forced to grow up too fast and just wants to do whatever he can to keep his brother smiling the way he remembers for as long as possible, without knowing enough to consider the long term consequences.

the anime does him a disservice bc it really takes away his fangs, even in Japanese. you never see him make the change from laughing at Joey writhing and dying in front of him after lying to his face about his food being poisoned, to the later realization that he doesn't want to see anyone die when Marik stops Joey's heart in Battle City. he's not a sweet, innocent little kid. he's loud and foul-mouthed and violent and vengeful, and he makes the conscious decision to try and be better.

and then he gets nothing but betrayed by the narrative because, at the end of the day, he's just a side character. a foil to his brother's main character syndrome.

60 Years of Doctor Who Anniversary Marathon - T. Baker 3rd Review

The Mind Runners / The Demon Rises - Full Audio

Let’s get one thing out of the way right now. The Mind Runners and The Demon Rises are not two separate stories connected by a story arc. They are the same damn story!

I don’t know why Big Finish tries to sell them separately (other then to gouge more money out of customers), but they are clearly a four part story that’s been split into two for no good reason, and that makes me mad! 

It’s dishonest.

I might have grumbled a bit at shelling out $22 for one story, but it would have been less offensive then selling half a story for $11, under the pretense of it being a single story in a larger story arc, and basically forcing me to pay other $11 if I want to get the conclusion. All in the hopes I’ll buy the entire season at a minimal discount; even though I don’t want extra stories, I just want the one!

It’s a poor business model that turns me right off the entire range, no matter how good the stories therein may be.

But then how good was this story?

Pretty dang good, actually.

One of the reasons why the Fourth Doctor is my least favorite Doctor is because he’s too much of a jackass in the show. An aloof asshole who thinks he’s always right, and tries to pass off his unemphatic air as being ‘alien’. I’m sorry, but his Bugs Bunny in space routine does nothing for me, and his dead eyed stare leaves me cold. Not helped by the fact that he’s one of the few Doctors without a character arc of any sort.

In short, while I think the Fourth Doctor has interesting stories, I personally find the Fourth Doctor himself to be a very uninteresting character the majority of the time.

But not here.

This story fixes that. By basically being written like a New Who episode. This is the Tenth Doctor being played by Tom Baker essentially; not the Fourth Doctor of the original series.

He’s kinder. He’s more considerate. He still has an ego, but can be humbled here. He isn’t just ordering people about, but providing explanations and encouraging people. He asks permission and says ‘I’m sorry’. He actually seems to give a damn about people dying, for once!

No this isn’t the Fourth Doctor at all, and that’s why I love it.

But there’s other things to recommend here as well. Both K-9 and Leela are utilized well. The story has good pacing, with plenty of plot twists that just keep piling on, until the wild climax. And it introduces an interesting new villain in Mr. Shift. A very comic book type character who has the potential to become a reoccurring foe. 

If there’s anything to criticize here, besides how its sold, is the fact that there’s arguably too many sci-fi concepts and not enough breathing room for all of them. We got inception style mind invasions, a cult of cyborgs, a mad scientist with polymorphic superpowers, a dying futuristic city running out of resources, a rocket made from human flesh, and a living planet that consumes people. That’s a lot, and not all of it comes together neatly.

Still, it’s at least interesting. You’ll never get bored of the tropes since nothing outstays its welcome. So if you don’t mind paying twice, this might be something worth checking out if you’re a Who fan.

hello hello.. 1, 25, 8? :>

hihi haiii wave waves!! ^w^/

1-what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? okok last time i answered w stuff for when iwas rly little but ive got a couple more that r less Teenytinymode(tm) -h/mestuck. (<- iam not letting myself show up in tagsearch ill explode.) my feelings towards it are Complicated but when i was 15 itwas there for me when no one else was in a way no one else would be. now its mostly smthn i use to bring up for jokes and other related bits to Use My Knowledge For Evil, but there are still some aspects i would fight for at the drop of a hat. made some really good friends also. i respect it from a respectable distance now. -taz balance. thissssss Fuckign podcast. everything 2 me and more. altered my brain chemistry deeply. Also made some irreplaceable friends thru this one. (ger if ur reading this. blows a litle kissie.) like yes heehoo funysilly goofy podcast but also having a fixation centered around kindness and hope against unrelenting despair was kind of lifechanging for ~16 year old me. a lot of me rooted here and never left, much like an anchor. also got me rly big into storytelling Actively, it was very kind 2 me :] -flipnote studio. (ttechnically teenytiny mode but its longstanding so...) probably my first intro to 'internet culture' if ihad t describe it :] made me start fixating hard on animation, defined a lot of my knowledge and music taste, it... it was really refreshing as a Weird Kid t see other people who Got It, yknow? never had anyone like me growing up, yknow. its nice t know youre not alone sometimes.

25- fave season and why? i always answer fall for these usually, im a big halloween kid n all. but lately ive been really really fond of summer. its just one of those times when things just start feeling Okay. i can be outside, i can hear birds, rustling trees, i can feel my body like it is a body and not an object. mmmmmmilkshakes....

8- any reacquiring dreams? oh, iwas actually just thinking about this the other day! i get reoccurring themes and stuff, but i do know that for a while, the same city has shown up over and over and over again, in different places, in such a way that i can patchwork together a map if i try hard enough. what always sticks out most to me though, is that theres always a school (''> >...) with the same stairs, with the same lawn, that always leads out into the city. theres an indoor hallway type dealie hosting storefronts people think is abandoned and closed off, but if you walk down it theres actually a restaurant in there! was a restaurant in there. for some reason it closed down, and my dreamself was very upset about it bc they had very nice food... it was my favorite spot and everything. (the people there were very kind to me.) when ur dealing w dream stress, having a place to just sit and feel safe was nice. now its just the hallway. its enough, i guess... > >

Shinigami / Death Mark II

Hiii so I wanted to write out my thoughts after playing last weekend! I’ll be giving an overview of the game / discussing certain aspects in detail, so please be wary if you’re trying to avoid any information on what happens. I tried to avoid any overt spoilers, though. Conversely, if there’s something you’re curious about that I don’t discuss here, feel free to ask!

General Summary and Thoughts on the Premise

Ig just to start I should briefly summarize the game. Shinigami takes place 4 months after the end of Death Mark at a school in H City called Konoehara Gakuen. Yashiki has been hired by the principal to investigate the rumors surrounding the school and the mysterious messages left by an unknown entity known as “Shibito.” As the game progresses, Yashiki must figure out who the target of each new message is, what spirit is targeting them, and the identity of Shibito / their motivation for leaving these messages.

I liked this premise overall! It was interesting to see Yashiki and the Mark Bearers so soon after the events of the first game. IIRC the writer stated this game was showing the beginning of his transition from the person he was at the end of DM to the person we see briefly in NG; that is, someone who fully embraces his role as a “spirit specialist.” I also think having the school as the main location was a smart choice, since it allowed for a more cohesive and connected story. While the spirit cases weren’t related to each other, having the school and Shibito’s messages be the unifying factor made it feel slightly more streamlined than the other games.

The Cases Themselves + The Spirits

While the game has a total of 7 chapters, there are only 3 “boss” spirits and a final boss that also pops up throughout the story (Shibito, if it wasn’t obvious). So as to not give too much away, I’ll just refer to the other spirits by their chapters. Out of all the cases, I think Chapter 2′s was the best written and most interesting. The plot points hit certain weak spots for me, and I thought the reveal of the grudge and the resolution were really heart wrenching. This also made the initial reveal of what happens after a successful purification even more shocking. If I had any complaints, it’d be that the spirit design just didn’t really do anything for me.

Chapter 3 had really great sound design and I liked the design of the spirit, but the story wasn’t as interesting to me as the other two. It does have some of my favorite CGs from the game though, so I have to give it points. Chapter 5 had maybe my favorite spirit design from any of the games and an interesting story, but I was disappointed by the final confrontation tbqh. I can forgive that though, since there was a longer confrontation sequence beforehand. I also really liked most of the character interactions in this chapter, both with returning and new characters, so I think overall it was my favorite from the game.

Shinigami also incorporates several minor spirits that you confront throughout the game besides the boss spirits. I thought this inclusion was nice, and most of these encounters are simple enough that they’re not tedious. Their designs were good, but nothing standout.

Having another reoccurring “villain” like in NG was a fun plot device, and it was fun seeing the way Shibito’s appearance morphed and changed throughout the game as we learned more about them. I will say that I wasn’t particularly blown away by any of the designs, even in their final form, though. I still think Kakuya’s final form was the best out of the 3 games. Still, Shibito’s presence throughout the game was a fun way to keep the tension high. I also think the story behind Shibito’s grudge was really great; it was the perfect amount of sad, yucky, and scary, and I like how it incorporated lore explored in the other two games. I will say I was a little disappointed that the Hyakki Yagyo concept wasn’t really touched on, since my expectation coming into the game was that it’d play a larger role.

I also liked that one of the key aspects of the game was to determine the true identity of Shibito, even if I think I figured it out more quickly than the game anticipated. If you also figure it out quickly, it can make some “deduction” sections feel like a little bit of a slog. The game throws in a few red herrings and curveballs that complicate the mystery though, so I think it’ll still keep people on their toes for the most part.

The Characters

I enjoyed the way they portrayed Yashiki in this game for the most part and love him so much as a protagonist in general. I’ve seen some people complain that he seems a little weak-willed or overly hesitant, but I agree with that characterization, especially at this point in his development. I also have seen some people say that he seems ungrateful towards the former Mark Bearers that return to help him out, but to be honest like, I wouldn’t want these normal people getting involved in dangerous situations either, so I understand why he wouldn’t be over the moon about it LOL. I really loved being able to compare his character here to how he was in DM and see how he changed in the 4 month interval, and also how he changes throughout the game itself.

I won’t say I thought he was a great character throughout the game, though. Again, without trying to spoil too much, a big part of the story involves some of the new characters crushing on Yashiki / being attracted to him. I anticipated this tbh, but it was still slightly uncomfortable having underage girls express romantic interest towards him and him not immediately shutting it down. I get that he lived a reclusive life up until now, but he seems a little naïve and it can be frustrating at times. However, it’s established that Yashiki is someone who is easily affected by the feelings of others (both human and spirit) and one of his major flaws is that he has trouble denying these feelings even for his own sake, so it’s not as if this is something completely out of character. Even so, I didn’t particularly enjoy this aspect of the game and it’s part of the reason why I ended up preferring one ending over the other.

The returning characters are all good to see! I liked that some characters still played an important role even if they no longer function as partners, and I really really liked that the game offered some more insight into their interpersonal relationships with each other and not just with Yashiki. It was satisfying hearing some information that confirmed things for me. I also liked that they kept the mechanic where you have to have a certain partner in order to complete certain actions and progress the story, even if switching them out could be a bit annoying if the place you needed to go to was far away from the infirmary (which is like the home base like the mansion was in DM).

I... don’t want to sound too crazy and go off about the Mashita and Yashiki interactions, but I’ll just say that I was incredibly satisfied and have enough material to ponder to last me for a long time. I’ll leave it at that, for all of us.

I was a little worried since there were so many new characters, but I ended up liking most of them! I think my standout favorites are Sakamoto-sensei, Horikoshi, and Saki. I wish Saki and Abe had more screen time, since I enjoyed their scenes quite a lot. I like the principal and thought he was written well, though being written well made him (and Sakamoto) hard to handle in some instances lol. Sadly I didn’t particularly care for Himeko and Michiho, which could get a bit frustrating at times since they really ended up being front and center for a lot of the game.

The CGs + Art

Though you have a choice between two partners for the chapters with spirit cases, the partner who dies if the spirit isn’t fully purified is always fixed. That means there were only a total of 3 partner death CGs total. I was personally a little disappointed by this, since there were certain characters I really wanted to see, but for the narrative direction this game took it makes sense that only a few characters would be able to die (being that you can still technically get the “Good End” even if your partners die, and some partners are confirmed to still be alive in NG). I wasn’t too impressed by the Chapter 2 and 3 death CGs, but I liked the one from Chapter 5 a lot.

The “Bad End” CG, however, was one of my favorites in the game!! I think it makes sense that Yashiki gets the best CGs in the game, but I thought almost all of his were really really great. A few of the new characters also get some really great CGs. There are a few ones that just seem like pointless fanservice without actually being scary, but overall I liked the stills from this game.

I did feel some of the CGs and still images didn’t match up to the character sprites well, specifically the CGs of a certain character in Chapter 2. I think this is just due to the fact that these CGs were done by a different artist than the sprite artist, but it still bothers me slightly.

Speaking of the sprites, I personally prefer the ones from the first game. I felt like they got rid of a lot of Yashiki’s crustiness, which was what I like the most about his design LOL. He still retains a little bit of crustiness in some of the CGs, so at least that’s a win if you’re like me and miss it too. The new sprites ended up growing on me though. Everyone gets more facial expressions too, which is something I wish DM had. Overall, I think the art in this game was good and retains the feel from the other games.

The Endings

There are 3 possible endings; a Bad End, a Good End, and a True End. Unlike previous games, the Bad End doesn’t happen if you fail to save your partners, but rather if you fail to correctly deduce who Shibito is. It’s a short ending, but the CG you get is soooo worth it imho. The Good End happens if you correctly guess Shibito’s identity and survive the final encounter, but you fail to save all of the characters you could possibly have saved. The True End happens if you save all these characters, survive, and make a certain choice after the end of the final confrontation (if you saved all of the characters, but do not make this choice, you get the Good End instead). The True End is also only available after getting either the Bad End or the Good End first.

Between the Good and True Ends, I definitely liked the Good End more. I don’t think I can get into why I feel this way without outright talking about the endings, but I liked the way the Good End concluded the story and set up what was in store for Yashiki in the future. That being said, I didn’t totally dislike the True End. I think it’s definitely a much happier end, but I think some people might not like it and I completely understand why. Either way, I think both were satisfying in their own way, but the Good End felt more appropriate to me.

New Mechanics + Other Notes

I really love the new side-scrolling / movement function. I actually spent so much time just making them run around LOL, it was so entertaining. Everyone gets idle animations as well, which were really fun! Sometimes the selection sensitivity for investigation points can be annoying, but otherwise I don’t have any complaints. There’s also a fast travel feature that takes you back to the infirmary, which was a really nice feature. Returning to the infirmary also restores any HP lost during encounters. My only complaint is this movement system doesn’t particularly help build any tension or enhance the horror of the game, which can be a bit of a detriment to a “horror” game.

The Live or Die mechanic has now been replaced by something called Suspensive Act. To briefly explain: you expend HP to execute certain actions, which have a non-fixed success rate. You can either execute these acts as Yashiki, make your partner do it, or execute them together in tandem. My opinions on this are mostly mixed. For some reason I always have the worst luck with % based success rolls, so I had to redo some events multiple times, not because I was choosing the wrong options, but because I just kept failing rolls more than once. I’m glad they still allow you to start over from just before though, so it could be worse. I think once you know which answers are the correct ones you can end up brute forcing your way through these / the success rate stops being as important. I think it could have been refined a little better, but overall it works for what it is.

That being said, I like the introduction of more RPG elements and different characters having more success doing certain actions. While I don’t think it made much of a difference strategy-wise, since all partners can complete all actions and your success rate will always increase after you fail, it added more color to the world / helped strengthen their characterization imho. I also liked that for final encounters you could bring anyone along with you.

I also like the new leveling up / stats system. To summarize briefly, you collect items around the school while you’re investigating that can be traded for stat boosting items, which will then help you during Suspensive Acts. Collecting enough of these items can also allow you to level up, which increases your HP. I enjoyed having a reason to investigate lots of different things, and I think it was a good introduction to the mechanics of investigating and using tool combos for newer players. Finding all of the items in a chapter also unlocks character profiles, so there’s an incentive to hunting for them.

The soundtrack is good as always! There are some really great new songs, some pretty good remasters of older songs, and some returning classics. They tend to play the same few songs all the time, which I know is exactly how it was in the first game, but I think with a larger soundtrack available the overuse kind of bugged me. The sound design is really good aside from one or two instances where it felt kind of off, and the UI is insanely good imho. I loved the different menus and designs and I hope they retain some of the stylistic choices in the English version.

There’s so much more voice acting in Shinigami too, which was sooooo fun. Again, I felt like it really helped flesh out the characters and made it a more immersive experience.

What to Expect for Death Mark II

I do not envy Aksys one bit LOLLLL. This is their comeuppance for changing that one Mashita line in DM; a game full of puns and word play that will make no sense translated directly into English, along with more Japanese religious / cultural aspects that won’t be obvious to overseas players. I honestly don’t know how they’re going to tackle certain things, but that’s why it’s their job and not mine, so good luck to them!!

Additionally, I’d say the CGs for this game are a lot more grotesque and explicit than the other two games. I don’t really see how they’d censor some of the CGs too, so I don’t think they can take a Red Riding Hood approach either. I assume it’ll probably get the standard M rating, but I think it’s important to note the CGs are a bit more graphic here.

I am interested in seeing how they’ll tackle certain things though, and I’m looking forward to comparing my experience playing in Japanese and playing in English.

Final Thoughts

After I finished my initial playthrough, I walked away thinking this was a game about love. I don’t really know how to put my thoughts into words without giving away major parts of the game, but I think love is the most important element in every aspect: both the positive and negative effects that love, or the desire for love, can have on people; what happens when that love isn’t returned, that love is betrayed, or that love is stolen away; and how such a strong emotion continues to have an effect even after death. And I think all good horror always has a little bit of love in it.

I’m don’t think I prefer this game over DM in the end, but I don’t really want to compare the two. Even though they’re in the same series, they felt like very different games trying to tell different stories. Both games have strengths and weaknesses narrative-wise, but I guess it depends on what type of story you prefer. I think though, if I had to compare them in simple terms, it would be that Death Mark is a game about Yashiki figuring out who he is, while Shinigami is a game about him defining who he is. Whether that person is someone we end up liking or not will depend on the player I think.

That being said, I think Shinigami is an improvement in many ways. It feels much sleeker, has less overly confusing puzzles, has more CGs and location art, more in-depth characterization of its returning cast, and incorporates a lot of fun new gameplay elements. Though it simplifies things, sometimes overly so, it at times is also more confusing than it needs to be. But once you figure out the system it becomes relatively easier! I finished my first run through in about 22 hours, but I think there’s more replay value for completion runs and collecting all the items.

Overall, I had fun playing it and it met my expectations for the most part. I’m looking forward to future playthroughs and I’ll continue to think about the game for a while. I hope everyone who’s looking forward to it will be satisfied too!!

what are your favorite episodes of big city greens? any episodes in particular you recommend for people trying to get into it?

i think my top five in no particular order would probably have to be:

people watching (s1e24b)

okay karaoke (s2e24b)

garage tales (s2e10a)

greens' acres (s2e15a)

trailer trouble (s1e27a)

i also think the halloween specials are really fun, especially the season 2 one !

overall so far season 2 has been my favorite, but if you wanna get into it i would definitely start at the beginning of season one, i feel like the first 8 episodes do a really good job setting the overall tone of the show and helping the viewer get to know the characters ! and then episodes like "supermarket scandal", "feud fight" , "coffee quest", "phoenix rises" and "uncaged" kind of more or less get you up to par with more of the reoccurring/overarching events/characters/dynamics etc that the show has even though its mostly pretty episodic !

Witch Baby by Francesca Lia Block

Block, Francesca Lia. Dangerous Angels: The Weetzie Bat Books. HarperTeen, 2010.

Summary-

Witch Baby is the second book in The Weetzie Bat Books series, Dangerous Angels written by Francesca Lia Block. This book primarily focuses on Witch Baby, a child who was left on Weetzie’s family’s doorstep and has been raised alongside Weetzie’s biological daughter Cherokee. Witch Baby is known for causing trouble in her family by stealing cookies, name-calling, and throwing things, as well as always focusing on the negatives in every situation (all of which turn out to be cries for attention). Her family does not understand her morbid fascinations and often expresses to each other that someone her age shouldn’t be obsessed with such dark things. Witch Baby’s family is constantly promoting love and light, and ignoring the dark parts of the world in order to remain happy. I think Witch Baby embraces these dark parts of the world because she relates to them intrinsically. When she falls in love with a boy named Angel Juan who sees her pain and loves it as just another part of her rather than pushing it away, she realizes what family should be like. Unfortunately, when Angel and his family are deported, Witch Baby is left to figure out her place in the world on her own. Witch Baby decides to run away from home to find her birth mother and on this journey, she witnesses some of the darkest sides of the city the rest of her family adores, Las Angeles (or as Witch Baby refers to it Los Diablos). When she finds her birth mother, who is cold and unloving, she realizes who gave birth to her doesn’t matter as much as who takes care of her. While she is away her family experiences a wake-up call of sorts and realizes how they have been treating Witch Baby, and how she must have been feeling. When they are all finally reunited, they apologize to Witch Baby for the way they’d been treating her because she was so different. They then go on to reassure her that they love her and that she makes their family even better by being a part of it, she shows them how to face the dark parts of the world that they are afraid of.

Personal Response-

I decided to read Witch Baby because of how much I enjoyed the previous book in the series, Weetzie Bat. When I first started the book, I was unsure how to feel about Witch Baby as a character, it wasn’t until I started picking up on the reoccurring symbolism within the book that I began to understand Witch Baby and her motivations. One of my favorite examples of this is her obsession with photography. Her obsession with photography is used as a device throughout the story to give readers a lens into what Witch Baby is truly feeling about the world and how her perspective changes throughout the story. After being bullied by her sister Cherokee, Witch Baby begins taking pictures of her family in the worst possible positions such as Duck and Dirk fighting or Brandy- Lynn crying into her martini. One of the most prominent themes regarding photographs in the books is that no one ever takes photos of Witch Baby, good or bad. She is constantly taking photos of her family and the world as she experiences it, pasting them all over her clock and her walls, yet in all the pictures she is nowhere to be found. I think this is a beautiful way to represent not only Witch Baby’s feelings of not belonging with her family, but also with the rest of the world in general. This metaphor comes full circle at the end of the book when Witch Baby is reunited with her family after running away, as they all take a group photo, making sure Witch Baby is included and surrounded by her family right where she ‘belongs’. Much like its predecessor this book discusses and sheds light on important issues such as Homophobia, Racism, Immigration, Homelessness, poverty, and more. Although this is a long list, Block depicts all of these subjects in a realistic way, opting to show them and their effects in Witch Baby’s life as she goes through the book, rather than going on long dissections of each one. She manages to bring awareness to them without skewing the entire book to focus on them, which makes the issues more digestible in mass, especially for a younger target audience.

Connections-

Although Witch Baby’s age is never explicitly stated in the book, the struggles she experiences are ones that almost everyone can relate to, especially young adults. Witch Baby is less of a coming-of-age story and more of a coming into one’s self story. Throughout most of the book Witch Baby not only struggles with finding out who she is, or where she belongs, but also what the real world is like and what that means for her. All these themes are common within the YA genre and classify it as such in spite of the lack of Witch Baby’s exact age. I would absolutely love to teach this book in my class, not only because of its approachable easy to understand language and length, but also for its beautiful symbolism, figurative language, and discussion of important world issues.  

tell me about a dream you remember having. if you don't remember your dreams, show off your favorite animal photo.

i suppose its almost a nightmare, but my entire childhood i had reoccurring dreams that would go the exact same way every single night for months, sometimes years.

in my teens i started to get one where i would be walking down a street that was supposed to be my city and every single person i would pass was someone i knew, either from school or my family or whatever and very distinctly i remember i was being chased but it wasnt something i was.. scared of? i was just aware of it. i would just keep walking and every night id take the same path-i would walk down the main straight, turn off into an alley way next to a black house with a stoop that had a gothic railing, and go through a metal door that would enter an orange and blue themed highschool gym, and every night there'd be new people there doing Whatever but the same constant was that sitting on the bleachers waiting for me was one of my friends from around that time and every time i sat down next to him i would wake up. No clue what it means

Joaning & My Current State of Affairs a Short Story The Vultures always came in Fall. I would sit in the garden and stare up at the blue cloud sky as they hovered spinning in a circle towards the sun, 20 or 30 at a time. I loved how free they look. My whole aim in life was to fly and be as free as them. Vultures aren’t beautiful up close, they have feathers everywhere except their heads. I’m assuming Jehovah designed them that way so they don’t get blood and guts in their feathers when they devour their carcasses,but I’m not sure, all I know is as soon as I got the chance to fly like them, I took it. First, I flew to Montreal, where people spoke french and I saw snow glitter under the street lamps at night and then flew back to St.Petersburg and then I flew to New York City and ate pizza in Times Square and saw my cousins in Brooklyn and then flew back to St.Petersburg. Then I flew to New York City again in the summer and saw my name on a wall at an art show. I flew to New York City again and again and again. I don’t believe I could ever reside in New York City but I certainly enjoy my time when I’m there. There’s always a tinge of excitement when you see the Empire State Building from the airplane window. I stayed at The Plaza and saw Lust for Youth play in Brooklyn and stayed at the St.Regis and sung along to a man on a piano playing jazz standards and drank blush wine at Bemmelman’s Bar in The Carlyle Hotel. I walked down Madison Avenue and got lost and followed. I explored the Lower East Side and danced in dark concert halls with my favorite Indie bands in Williamsburg and rode in Town Cars down Park Avenue, without a boy. I went back to St.Petersburg and reminisced on my time there when I went to warehouse shows and punk shows at the VFW and watched bands at the State Theater and Jannus and Local 662 and Ramblin Rose and Venture Compound and laughed and didn’t drink alcohol because I didn’t need it to feel good with my reoccuring acquaintances from all corners of the globe that I took surprise photos of and then one day I flew to San Diego to see John Maus and ended up hanging out with my favorite pro surfers in Costa Mesa instead and met the characters behind my favorite surf magazine in Newport Beach and went to Los Angeles the next day and bought a Gucci bag on Rodeo Drive and had dinner at Wolfgang Puck via dark winding roads in Bel-Air and sat by their fireplace after and admired the swans in the lagoon and took a Mercedes-Benz to LAX and flew back to St.Petersburg. Then shortly after I flew back to New York City and hung out with the boys from Newport Beach in the warmest bar filled to the brim with young and beautiful people on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, where our time together was too short and shortly after partied with surfers again close to home and flew to San Francisco the next morning and finally got to see John Maus and ate some delicious Thai food at a suggested restaurant both days and shivered to death near the Golden Gate Bridge and got into an argument with a few passengers on the flight home and finally made peace with the drama of 2018 and the year before that I interviewed Panda Bear & Ernest from Washed Out and forgot to press the record button and lost the footage but I keep the regret buried deep enough to forget it and the memory tucked away for later and I also recall hanging out with cute guys in post punk bands and freezing to death under strings of cotton candy skies on long stretches of beach at dusk in California. I love the air in California its cool and dry as opposed to the heavy wet air in St.Petersburg. I had always thought the air was the same everywhere in the world but I was mistaken and before California and before my grandma rested from her time on earth, I finally flew to Paris, land of my dreams, where I went to the most expensive hotels to eat and drink Champagne and had dinner on top of the Eiffel Tower with a nice family of fellow Americans and danced in dark venues and caught a cold the morning I went to London to eat cheesecake from Harrods near a man playing a bagpipe near Big Ben and interviewed the lead singer of the Mystery Jets at a french cafe on the corner down the road from the venue and ran into a Dior model named Camille who was there for fashion week and she complimented my beret at Cafe de Flore and I strolled through the Jardin d’Acclimatation in the Bois de Boulogne and felt the breeze on top of the Louis Vuitton Fondation and had a $200 dollar lunch for one next to some fashion writers in Paris who left me their card and dressed in my finest sequin dresses and fur capes and bought perfume at Chanel and a wallet from Dior and after these things I rested. I slept and slept and slept and reminisced and got sad that I all the fun had stopped for a little while and looked forward to it all starting again and one day it did. One day I flew to LA again and saw that boy I couldn’t get out of my head again and he invited me to a bar but he had another woman and I waved at him again on the busy road and talked to other surfers at 54th street and enjoyed my time till sunset with a single firework in the distance then I flew to New York City at the suggestion of my driver and reminisced under the full moon and the glittering lights of manhattan and park avenue and the east river and may or may not have seen Helen Mirren in front of NBC Studios talking on her iphone on a Monday night and then flew to LA where I toured Warner Brothers Studios where so many of my favorite movies have been made and drank Martinis overlooking the Hollywood Hills at the Pendry Hotel and had Fried Chicken and the last Chocolate Souffle at The Beverly Hills Hotel in a green banquet with a section all to myself and sat in the warm California sun by a pool in West Hollywood and took the last flight out at 11:10pm back to the East Coast then flew to New York City again and stayed at the TWA hotel and had another wonderful night strolling the LES and someone in a group of strangers passed by me told me I was beautiful and how I took the subway the next day on purpose and got off at the first place the train stopped unaware of where I was and got dropped off in front of Madison Square Garden where I walked down the crowded streets and got pleasantly lost then got tired of being lost and hailed a taxi to the Vanderbilt Gates and walked through the manicured gardens behind it and took the last flight home again and shortly after that met my favorite skateboarder on a layover at PHX and hugged my favorite lead singer twice shortly after and after those things I sat in the garden my grandma worked so hard to leave me where I would dance with the trees as they wriggled in the wind and comforted the blue jays and the stray orange cat and the raccoons and watched how the sun rays strayed through their branches and made them more beautiful than I was expecting and I cried my heart out because I cry after all endings, especially the ends of long strings of fun times. I mourn for the end of this system, I mourn for lives of the people I love that do not serve God because if they choose not to change certain death is waiting for them, whether they accept my pleadings means their lives and I just wonder if I say enough or if I could do more, I hate to be a pusher but we’re running out of time. If I could say one thing it would be that the end of this current way of life will come with God’s vengeance that leads to a new beginning we all need. I listened to the dirge of the Grey Pigeons on the electric wires and I watched french films under the sparkling appearance of the Big Dipper and the full Moon and fought with my aunts and had a mental breakdown and observed the bright green Parakeets and fighter jets that would fly above my head at rapid speeds making the most obnoxious noises and how I’d sit for hours and think about all the things I’ve done so far & still hoped to do. Like tomorrow morning's sunrise, the future is coming for all of us...again.

I'm quite (read: very) curious about The Magician and BGCD. Can I have some fun facts about those WIPs lol—

Oh howdy! I haven't actually spoken about my wips on here in a hot minute, so it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them. Thank you!

The Magician is currently my main wip! I built it around my superhero special interest, so it's the easiest one to get my brain to engage with consistently. I really need to redo the intro I have up for it because it's kind of outdated at this point, but I can still hit you with some fun facts!

This wip is kind of an homage to some classic superhero media like the 60s era Batman show or the old Superfriends cartoon. I just think modern superheroes tend to take themselves way too seriously. (And you can't tell me that this isn't peak supervillain behavior.)

It was originally going to be a more traditional superhero story with Ms. Psychic as the protagonist, but I wrote a couple scenes from April's pov to try to get to know her better, and she just totally stole the show.

I was apparently projecting some of my autistic traits onto April a couple of years before I even knew I that I'm autistic, which I think is pretty cool to be able to look back and see. April's autism diagnosis is technically a spoiler, but whatever. It actually plays a pretty big role in her character arc later on.

It's going to be a trilogy! Incredibly vague spoilers, but book one is about April trying to make it as a big name supervillain through a bunch of wacky antics, and books two and three are going to be all about her redemption arc after some things happen that make her realize that maybe becoming a supervillain wasn't such a great idea.

One of my favorite reoccurring jokes is that most of April's friends turn out to be some flavor of asexual. She's just like, "Yeah, I'm the Magician! Of course I'm great at finding aces!"

This wip has a huge cast and only like two cishets lmao.

April is just such a dramatic little shit, and I love her so much. This bitch really decided that the only real superhero in the whole city is Her Nemesis and spends like half of book one being mad at her for fighting other supervillains.

April is definitely a Dumbass Gay™. This causes So Many Problems while she's trying to hide her secret identity from her girlfriend because she's just so afraid that Claire wouldn't actually like her if she knew the truth. This spirals so far out of control (RIP).

BGDC has actually been on hiatus for a while because I was having major issues with some plot stuff, and it was stressing me out way too much. I think I have a solution to those issues, so I'll probably be working on it again as soon as ADHD brain is cooperative enough to let me fix my outline. If all goes well, it might be my wip for NaNoWriMo!

Anyways, I've got a few fun facts for you!

BGDC actually stands for Be Gay Do Crime because I've been too lazy to come up with a proper title for this wip. (The Magician technically isn't a proper title either rip)

This wip has a way smaller cast than a lot of my other stories. It's been a bit of a struggle for me, ngl, but I guess that's just something that happens with road trip stories.

Juliet's bastardization arc is a very Fun Time. She starts off as a relatively normal person who was just put in a very bad situation, but things just keep spiraling from there, especially as she gets closer to Irene, who is a Very Bad Influence™.

Irene has a metric fuckton of Backstory Trauma™. A lot of it kind of boils down to the fact that she grew up in a tiny religious farm town in Texas in the 70s, which was not a great time or place to be a queer woman.

Irene tries to keep up the gruff serial killer type persona she's got going on, but honestly she softens up a ton when Juliet's around. She's just,,,, Very Gay.

I've got some fun Crimes planned for this wip! There's some murder, some bank robbery, some good old fashioned running from the police, but I think my favorite would have to be that super gay jewelry store heist where steal engagement rings for each other. It's a weirdly sweet moment.