#it’s awful I don’t want to feel sad but I feel so sad
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Comfort
Hi guys!
It was Cata's birthday tuesday, so here is a little something for her :)
It's from a request too, I really need to sort them x)
Also please Barca, win today i need it.
Enjoy!
TW : Lost, angst.
There you are. The first lost of Barcelona for this season. It’s coming at the first moment of the year honestly, you would have preferred to lose against another Spanish team than to lose against Chelsea during the Champion’s league. You still have another game to win and go to the finale, but it would be at London and pretty hard. You already know it.
Looking around you, you saw that all of your teammates are gutted. Lucy is sitting on the ground; Ona went straight to the locker room and Alexia let another players comfort her. For your point, you just stay up where you were when the whistle whistled. Your hand on your hips, you weren’t looking at something special at first.
Until your eyes went on the silhouette of your girlfriend. Cata is sitting on the ground, a little like Lucy unless that she’s leaning against the goal post. Her knees bent against her and her arms surrounding them, she has her eyes fixed on her feet.
She seems so sad that you forget almost immediately your proper sadness. Walking slowly in her direction, you try not to ignore the other people talking to you. When you reach Cata, you kneel in front of her.
“Hey” you say quietly, putting your hand on her arm.
She looks briefly at you, before shaking her head. You know that she feels guilty about the lost, but you think that every single player of the team has that feeling. You don’t say another word, getting on your feet again before helping her to get up too. You don’t want to have to do the post-game interview, so you take another way to go to the locker room.
Of course, the general mood is awful. Nobody’s talking, nobody’s looking at each other. It’s so tense that you propose at Cata to go take a shower at your apartment to go home sooner. Cata agrees with a nod, still not talking. Knowing how much she’s bubbly, happy and smiling usually, it breaks your heart.
You say goodbye to your other teammates, grabbing Cata’s hand to take her with you. Hiding under her hood, she’s still silence. People forget sometimes that she’s only 22 years old, Cata forget sometimes too you think. She’s always way too hard with herself.
You manage to get to your car without meeting fans or journalists, you usually take time to talk with the people coming to see you, but today your girlfriend’s happiness is more important than anything else.
“You want to put some music?” you ask at your girlfriend when you are on your car.
She nods, taking your phone in her hand before looking at something you both will like. You’re not really hard to satisfy honestly, as long as you can concentrate yourself while driving. When Cata put your phone down, you take her hand in yours, squeezing it lovingly.
She looks at you and make a half-smile, which isn’t so bad. You interlink your fingers and take the way of your apartment. Cata doesn’t ask you where you are going and when she realizes that you’re going to yours, she doesn’t protest either.
“Do you want me to cook something?” you ask softly when you’re home.
Cata just shakes her head, sitting on a stool in your kitchen, where she followed you. You put a bottle of her favorite Prime in front of her and try to cross her eyes before talking again.
“Pa amb oli?” you propose.
“With white onions?”
She raises a hopeful look on you and you can’t help but smile. This meal, coming right from her natal island of Mallorca is like her comfort food. You kiss her cheek softly before turning to the fridge to prepare two plates of the dish. You like it too; the first time you try it, it was when Cata took you in Mallorca to meet her family. You loved every single thing coming from this island, maybe because it’s linked with your girlfriend, who you are really fond of.
You are deep in your thought, rubbing the tomato on the bread with an ability that would have made Alexia proud, when you feel Cata’s body against yours. Hiding her face in your neck from behind, she hugs you so tight that you have the impression that she wants to come under your skin. Literally.
You smile and keep cooking, thankfully you don’t need to move a lot around the kitchen for this dish. When you are finished, you turn around in her arms and take her face between your hands. Looking at her with attention, you try to choose wisely your words, not wanting to hurt her. Or make her feel more terrible that she’s feeling right now.
“You know that we didn’t lose because of you, right?”
She frowns, not answering. That’s exactly what you thought. Right after she sights and look away, you softly pat her cheek to drag her attention in you again.
“I’m serious. No one play good today, unless maybe Alessia. We were all too scared to lose, maybe too tired too. We have 90 minutes left. We can win and go to the finale.”
“I don’t think Jona will put me on the goal again” Cata sights, shaking her head.
“Why that?” you frown.
“I didn’t have a clean sheet. In the World Cup when Misa play bad, she went to the bench for the next matches. Vilda didn’t hesitate for a second.”
“Yeah, well first don’t compare that asshole to Jonatan please” you hiss, hating hearing that man’s name. “And if goalkeepers were benched every time, they let a ball pass the net, we won’t have a lot of them on the pitches.”
She shrugs, not really convinced by what you are saying. But you don’t insist, knowing that she needs some time to figure out all of this. You chose to give her plate and follow her wherever she wants to eat. She chose your balcony, from where you have a good view on the sea and the port.
And, when you see that Cata ate her meal in five minutes, your smirk and push your plate in her direction. The goalkeeper raises an interrogator gaze on you before smiling when you signal her that she can finish your plate.
After that, she takes the dishes in the kitchen without hearing your protests that you can help her. Then she comes back, takes you from your chair in her arm, making you squeak in the process. She laughs and you can only smile. You love hearing her laugh.
When she throws you on the sofa, you already know the end of the evening. Endless cuddles in front of TV. She puts Netflix on before laying on top of you. You let her do it, drawing smalls drawing on her skin, under her top.
“I love you” she mumbles out of the blue, several minutes after.
“I love you too” you smile, kissing her head in a weird angle.
She smiles when she sees you doing it, raising herself a little to be able to kiss you right on the lips. She strokes your face with her thumb, and you find yourself blush under her gaze. It’s quite intense but you love it.
“Thank you” she whispers, almost shyly.
“What for?” you ask with curiosity.
“For being you. And have take the time to learn with my mom how to make the perfect Pa amb oli.”
“All the best for the best” you smirk.
She rolls her eyes before kissing you again several times. Just like you were losing some interest in the film you were watching and getting maybe a little too work up, she stops and smirk before laying on you again.
“You’re the worst” you groan.
“Oh? I thought I was the best?”
You can hear her smile in her voice and you roll your eyes. You don’t answer though, but you know that she knows what you think. She’s the best and you are definitively way to in love with her to be mad at her.
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my baby congratulations on 500 followers !!! you deserve it so so much im so proud of you😽
for the event i want to request ‘heaven is a place on earth’ by belinda carlisle + lee know<3
again, im so so proud of you !!! take care, i love youuu🫶🏽
heaven is a place on earth — lee know
lee know x reader, reader is exhausted — fluff, comfort. taglist form.
a/n : aaaaah thank you so much my loveee !! i'm proud of you more than you ever know, i love you so much 💌 i hope this is to your liking !
They say,
In heaven, love comes first.
But to you, all you crave is your personal heaven— longing to be part of something greater, to be embraced in something that sees you as a single thing.
You ache with the warmth of belonging in someone’s heart— you crave to be seen.
“Everything is so tiring.”
You plop down on the couch, a long sigh escaping your lips.
“Long day?” Minho sat by your side, softly caressing your hair. You relaxed in his gesture, closing your eyes in exhaustion.
“Long week, or month, or year. I don’t know. I’m just so tired I want to sleep forever,” you feel your chest hurting after saying that.
“Ah, my baby…” he looked at you with worry. His eyes reflected a hint of sadness and empathy— one full of genuine worry.
Minho stood up, looking at you in awe.
He then offered his hand, unsure of what to do.
“Let’s do something,” he uttered.
You grasped his hand without hesitation, your body completely surrendering to him. He started to sway you in the fall of the night, with the stars watching both of you dance under the midnight sky.
“When you walk into the room…” he sang softly. He coasted you in a tranquil sway, making your body melt in his touch.
“You pull me close, we start to move…”
To be loved means to be consumed. To love means to radiate with inexhaustible light. To be loved is to fade, while to love is to persist. '
“And we’re spinning with the stars above…” he looked at you with a smile, continuing to float together in the silence of the night.
He stopped. He looked at you solemnly, and his eyes seemed to soften with the natural hues of the night. His eyes shone at you as if they were the brightest stars in the sky— but those stars belong to you, only you.
He tenderly pressed his lips against yours, a gentle caress following your delicate dance.
To you, you have already found your personal heaven; where he never made you feel alone— he waits for you and you come around— he reached for you and brought you love.
“...and you lift me up in a wave of love.”
⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023.
#ᨳ ✦ % : song of the waves#k-labels#straykidsland#lee know x reader#stray kids#lee know#skz x reader#lee minho#lee minho x reader#lee know fluff#lee know scenarios#lee know imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids comfort#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#lee know comfort#stray kids au#stray kids oneshot#skz lee know#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz comfort#skz fluff#skz fanfic#stray kids fanfic#skz#skz reactions
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I don’t know how to handle being sad
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#ive got this awful feeling i just want to scoop out#i feel stupid and sensitive#like ive hardened myself to all this shit so the fact that i’m being affected by it is also making me mad at myself#my family didn’t want me around for thanksgiving and didn’t want me there for the family christmas party and didn’t want to#spend christmas with me because my mom doesn’t want me around the extended family because of how far in my transition i am#and my gf put off asking her fam about bringing me over for christmas for a month#and barely just asked and it sounds like they don’t want me there either#and tbh i kinda knew they wouldn’t#but also i feel like my gf also didn’t actually want me there which is why she put off asking for so long#and idk#i felt like with how far along i am in emotionally and physically recovering from stuff#and then also having a partner for the holidays for the first time#i would’ve left my sad sandra bullock era. but i have not#the only person who wants me around for the holidays is my dad and ive got such a weird relationship with him#and it literally would just be me and him alone#my dads side of the family doesn’t want me there either bc of the trans thing i just feel really fuckin#disgusting#feeling very goop monster
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I’m going to reblog The Acolyte every single Wednesday until The Show™️ ends btw.
#I don’t like my own work#In fact I spend most of my days hating it more than anyone else ever could#But#that show makes me feel hollowed out#So awful and sad and it brings back such awful memories and creates new awful memories with every terrible post and take I’m forced to see#And I just#I want to think of something else on Wednesdays#And I want to remind myself that Polynesian fans like myself have a place to tell stories in this fandom#And not just Polynesian fans like me#All fans of color deserve to feel appreciated and valued and respected and loved and their ideas deserve love and respect#In this fandom and this space#That show makes me feel awful#But I don’t want to give up my place
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#not maintagging#my last reblog was like a minute before q went live#i feel sick like this whole situation is fucking awful#nobody is benefitting from anything anymore it’s so sad#i’m going to get some sleep anyway but just wanted to say i likely won’t be reblogging any posts about the stream#but i watched it so please don’t take me not reblogging as ignorance#anyway it’s been a fucking long day so i’m off for the night#look after yourself and others especially after all that’s happened lately#also i’ll be fine but remember you’re allowed to feel however you feel rn it’s valid#i appreciate you all endlessly - goodnight x
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i will say this tho… the reason why most kpop groups don’t come to europe is because in comparison to maybe the usa, the market for kpop music there is better than in europe and also since companies nowadays are obsessed with making groups international (promoting them in the us basically) they know it’s easy money over there honestly that’s what i think
#not saying that in europe there aren’t kpop fans#which there are#i would say there are a lot in france and spain and perhaps italy??#but like when they quote on quote tour europe they only go to those countries#and in hindsight the tour ends up being small and there’s not that much profit#compared to what the us brings tbh#i hate to admit it but it’s true lol#the music industry like the western one mainly happens in america#and when groups tour there’s no doubt they will go there#there’s also that guarantee#but also what i don’t get is how they don’t go to south america#when especially brazil has a lot of kpop fans???#i feel like south america has a lot of kpop stans especially in recent years#but all of this to say that yes it’s a good decision#i don’t think it is lmao#i never went to a concert bc of travel costs#when tours happen in europe is never in portugal so#the closest thing i have is spain or france#but that’s too much money for an average person like me#so i am not abt to make that awful financial decision#as much i want to see my fave groups#but it’s true that kpop is international#and is getting more and more international#and companies don’t do tours outside of the us#and i’m not talk about asia bc of they tour in asia that is a given#i mean outside of asia they only go to america#and MAYBE … very rarely… five european countries#anyways this is getting long but you get what i mean#it’s sad that a lot of people don’t get opportunities for many reasons#tris.txt
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#one of the most annoying parts of having bpd isn’t even part of the bpd itself but it's the stigma#and don’t get me wrong this shit is FUCKING HELL and very hard and embarrassing#but the way people think bpd is somehow the same thing as sociopathy or psychopathy is just like ??????????????#and the way even doctors are so sensationalist about it and it does affect your overall hope for how you're gonna be able to#idk navigate life with it. because they make it look like someone who has bpd#is just the worst most difficult and awful human being on earth#like everyone else isn't difficult everyone else doesn't struggle w emotions or relationships or abandonment#and the way they approach it truly makes you feel like you're damaged for life and you're broken and you're doomed#i could go on and on about how this is just upsetting and like sometimes when people learn that i have bpd they're surprised#because i keep a lot of things and feelings to myself because i don't want to be the stereotype#i'm venting but what i mean is that i think the stigma around bpd just makes everything harder#for instance i feel the need to be centred because otherwise i'll be perceived as a bpd stereotype#so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone#i can't fear not having someone in my life anymore i can't fear being alone and so on#i have to be manageable and cool and nonchalant and complaisant all the time#sometimes i feel like i'm not allowed to be a person BECAUSE i have bpd#but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others
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Even though I know I’m making the right choice deferring next year to try uni again later, god I do I feel fucking awful about it and I’m dreading every moment going forward
#can I keep doing deadlines? no#can I keep living alone? no#is this even going to be forever? nah like a year minimum#do I feel awful about it and like I’ve failed life? yes#I’m also really sad I won’t go back and have the same class. Bar one person I really liked everyone :(#but I am just getting worst and worst right now I need a mental health break so bad#idk I put so much of my life into uni as an escape from home life#and in the end I couldn’t handle it going from the all the shit that happened in 2021#tbh this is a pattern for me I saw it coming. But I chose to go ahead with last year knowing if I did it this year I’d be too lonely#I don’t regret going last year btw I met so many cool people and I know for a fact now that I definitely want to live full time out my town#I just regret that I can’t be there this year#/tw vent
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STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️
#purrs#also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so#FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished#their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask#for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and#annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t#matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so#many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and#imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh#delete later#(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff)#also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info#on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im#doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when#i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the#ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be#reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that#(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them#bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them#out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol)#* and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol
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tw: suicide/vent talk
I’m not depressed or anything, nor am I suicidal, but every time there’s a long weekend or an extended period of time more than a day that I don’t have anything scheduled, I always feel this existential sense of dread and guilt. No matter how much I try, I really cannot place where it’s coming from.
I start getting really stressed and overwhelmed, isolate myself, stop talking, then either start crying or stare at the wall in a dark room, wondering why there’s a pit in my throat and stomach and what I did wrong to cause that, but I don’t know what the source of the problem is, so I don’t know how to fix it.
Then I begin to ask myself if the way I’ve been living is really worth it, and if I’m even significant to the people around me, and if should just give up. Give up band, give up school, give up everything I’ve been working for, so that I can’t stress out about anything. But I can’t do that. Then I’d be worth nothing.
I just start having a whole mental crisis, and I don’t know why, but I need a schedule to distract myself from my own thoughts so this stuff doesn’t start happening. When I actually have the time and silence to listen to my own train of thought, I get so worked up. Like the feeling that you have ten essays due in an hour and you haven’t written a lick of it. Even if I don’t have work, I always feel a pang of guilt and anger, like I’m mad at myself for not doing anything productive. Even if I do, it’s never usually enough.
I’ve never been able to relax in what feels like a very, very, very long time. I’m so afraid of screwing up my own life, so much so that, in this temporary moment of despair, I want to end it all and stop living it.
I can’t do this anymore
in moments like these I wonder what he would say. He doesn’t know that this happens to me, he’s only ever seen me when my mind is occupied. Would he worry or would he tell me to quit the band
am I even worth it to him
would he even care
The realistic part of my brain is like, obviously, people care about me and I’ve had an effect on many people I’ve met, and people like me and would probably miss me if I was gone. But during these times I just can’t hold on to that thought. I get too stressed out and worry about all of the bad
and the things I could do better
I hate this
I wish I was as happy as people always say I am
I usually am positive but
this hurts
I can’t do this anymore
#personal#vent#u#obviously I won’t do anything#but the thoughts are so strong#like so strong that this feeling of sadness and guilt#actually hurts#like actually hurts so much#I want to talk to him#but I don’t know what to say#I want to throw up#I just want him to sit next to me for a while in silence#that’s it#that would make everything better right now#I’ll probably delete this#but I’ve been absolutely awful mentally for the past month and a half#not fun#I don’t know how to make it stop
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I rly should change my phone number
#my family keeps trying to contact me and . idk.#sad as it is and maybe its pathetic as fuck but i like setting fire to bridges#it just makes me feel like shit and guilty that my brothers are trying so hard to keep in touch#and i just dont want to#its not their fault its not their fault its my fucking parents#but i cant stomach meeting them anymore or talking to them its a me issue its my pride or my guilt or both in one nasty knot#this is my own making. i could take their outstretched hands.#but i cant and i dont know why and and im disturbed and upset over the concept of them trying so hard when ive never returned the favour#because im a horrible person they don’t deserve this stress#and they should leave me alone.#everyone would be happier if they forgot me within my family that is#im sorry and thanks for trying to love me but i guess i havent loved my family back in a long time and it makes me feel so fucking awful#like why? youre my family. like my brothers are cool theyre so nice and theyre understanding they accept me#and yet. im a fucking idk idk idk like. i just cant take it.#thats all#:(((#my brothers say they love me and i believe them#but I genuinely i hate that i feel this way but i dont care about them the same way they care about me#its so self centered and shit. and i dont know why i feel this way.#like theres nothing we have left#and its because of me#delete later#sorry for ranting on christmas lmfao#im feeling a lot of shit feelings that all self inflicted#im sorry but i know i dont mean it.#because i have no feelings other than resentment and an ugly bitterness
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my mom is literally yelling at me bc i “study too much” and she says that’s selfish and i shud be doing other things and spending time w my family. like. as if everytime i spend time w my family i don’t just end up hating myself more.
#to delete#like girl maybe the reason i don’t want to spend time w u is because u yell at me everytime i do#all we ever ever ever talk about is how stressed she is how everything’s so hard for her how she hates her life and i make things worse by#being a terrible child#like god im fucking trying#i’m so so so so so sorry u feel the way u do i wish the world was kinder to you#and i will always be there for my mother if she needs someone to talk to or someone to listen no matter how much it hurts me#like idk maybe she is right and i’m an awful kid#i’m sad a lot and i get angry because no one ever listens to me or treats me like a person with a heart and feelings.#but i’m so tired of being yelled at all the time#i just want to go to a place i can call home and feel safe#idk maybe i’ll have a couple cats and cool trinkets and awesome lamps and vintage clocks.#no gray walls#no fighting#no more flinching#only peace and colors and love and warmth
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i was talking to my mom about my job sucking and she kept pushing like well every job sucks. and kept pushing like girl if it all sucks the same why are you leaving urs
#personal#it’s just annoying cause like what are you arguing against. you actively want me to get a different job#also just let me complain. i’m aware every job sucks don’t remind me i will kill myself over that thought. but like extremely aware#but some have to suck less#like i imagine there’s a job where i don’t work ten hour shifts with one 15 and lunch and am expected to only spend 10 minutes per day#to piss#and i want a mom that can comfort me beyond kicking me out when i call out#i’m scared about how much i hate working and how awful it feels#i’m terrified about how i’m supposed to live the rest of my life#my room has been messy for over 9 months#i go home and just stare at my phone or nothing and suddenly it’s 2 am and i have work so soon#and my days off i spend catching up on sleep and wasting them#i’m just so tired and scared and scared of how apathetic everything but fear and sadness feels#and it’s just like this forever and i don’t have a mom that will hug me or try to make me feel better just#if you want to die you should kill urself and everything sucks everywhere it doesn’t get better#LIE to me im#off the fucking deep end
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Obsessed with the way Two-Face talks about Harvey in the Arkham games like do I like all the choices? Not at all. Is the “Harvey might feel bad about this Batman, but we'll bring him around,” line alone rotating in my head since I saw it and one of the pillars of how I see and write Two-Face? Ye baby.
#Harvey Dent#two-face#it’s got so many things going on in one line but the biggest is the presentation of Big Bad Harv as fundamentally still a protector who#sincerely believes both that he’s doing what he should be /&/ that Harvey will eventually realize this and come around like he did when they#were kids. he’s literally the Paula and Rebecca ‘I SPECIFICALLY told you not to do it! WHY would you do this!?!?!’ ‘—Because—*stuttering*#because you always do! you always say ‘no Paula! don’t Paula. I don’t want this Paula’ and then I did it anyway & you were HAPPY about it!’#literally that’s him. and it’s SO sad. because Harvey is /never/ going to be anything but more and more resentful and broken from/by Two-#Face’s actions but if they could and would just! communicate well! they’re both reasonable /enough/ they could heal. it didn’t have to be#this way. but they’re trapped in this awful endless cycle unlikely to alter unless acted upon by an insanely big outside element.#I really do this he truly thinks eventually Harvey will come around in this. like before right? because he always did it before and Harvey#always said ‘no don’t—you’ll make it worse!’ ‘dont! that’s bad!’ ‘stop!’ but then he was happy about it in the end#and by the time he slowly begins to realize internally it’s not going to happen they’re too far apart for things to fix without one of them#making a significant change and so opposed neither would unless an extreme and specific situation presented itself and I’m SO fucking#distressed about the whole damn thing. Boys…#Batman#god some of his lines with Strange are so fucked up too. it’s like…they’re actually together in a foxhole there. :’-) and trying. And the#way he clearly feels like Batman intentionally ruined Harvey’s life and he wants to hit back for that and avenge him and Harvey is listening#to both and torn and confused on it. the level of BBH/Two-Face being involved with and trying to convince Harvey of things I…
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oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰
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Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰
#I’ve actually never even been inside a court house or room (still haven’t since my friend didn’t even see a judge thankfully)#but it was interesting ngl walking in especially felt like I was at an airport lol#sorry to hear you had to deal with it twice :( I hope it all ended up ok!#also sorry that you understand the pain of not being comfy in your own home#it really really fucking sucks ngl#dude I would have been SO pissed if my parents made me throw out my pieces 😭😭😭 like 1 that’s my babies and 2 that’s fucking money!!!#lol I was caught in high school too once or twice (but I was a dumbass and smoked inside LMAO still can’t believe I did that????)#I still remember my mom walking in while I was spraying the room and I just fucking fell to the floor for some reason 😂😂#my moms friend was over and apparently told my mom ‘I’m getting high from the fumes’ and ughhhhhh I was so mad#it’s funny now cause wtf who says fumes????#show art like more of my Etsy paintings or my personal paintings?? honestly I don’t have thaaaat many personal paintings#I have one that is a tree that is probably my favorite and I have a few pour paints that I saved when I was first starting#if you’re ever comfortable and want to share a poem or two please feel free to send me them!! (lmk if you don’t want me to post it)#I’ve always been in awe of people who can write poetry or lyrics#I’ve wanted to write songs ever since I can remember tbh and I did back in high school#I had a few classes that I actually wrote songs in but it was just the instrumental - I could never figure out the lyrics#almost failed a class cause I couldn’t figure out the damn lyrics lol#trust me I totallyyyyy understand wanting to learn an instrument but it not *clicking* buuut I personally think singing is different#don’t get me on a rant about how I think it’s sad how most people don’t sing or do art because they aren’t ‘good’ at it#also singing is sooooooooo subjective (think that’s the right word lol) so I think anyone can sing if they want to#music is important to me too!! what type of music do you like to listen to?? like do you have a fav genre or even a fav artist/band rn?#2 shows??! like concert???? who are you going to see?! fuck I’m so jealous! I don’t even remember the last concert I’ve been to ☹️#I’ve never heard of silo but maybe I should check it out! I’ve been looking for a new show to watch ☺️#sorry it took me a lil bit to reply to this :(#my depression was hitting me HARD the past few days#I’m feeling a lil better now but still kinda funky#I’m dogsitting Wednesday-Sunday and I’m super duper excited for that!!! just gotta get to Wednesday ☺️#thank you for the hugs and kisses 🥺🥺🥺 they’re super appreciated 🤗#you’re amazing 🥺 I’m squeezing you and giving you the bigggggggggggest hug 🤗🤗🤗#🎤 anon
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