#it’s a character yall. it’s sad but JESUS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lemon-towne · 3 months

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HOLDEN PREVIEW TIMEEEEUHHH

Okay so I’ve realized that I’ve never given yall anything else abt the Michael book (book? Idk maybe an online fic or smthn) other than the potential covers for it

Needles to say I felt bad and so to make it up to yall I’ll post a small snippet of a part in the actual story so here yall go <3333

(Be nice bookie this is a draft, a really rough one so don’t expect a whole lot.)

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“It seems as if you take the things I do for you, MY SON, for granted. Michael I just don’t understand, you’re right; I don’t. But you blatantly refuse to talk to me when you have a problem so how am I supposed to know if something is bothering you?”

She looks at me with a blank expression after that. . .expecting me to answer wrongly. As if I don’t know what I’m talking about.

As if I don’t know how I feel.

“Because you never bother to ask.”

I pause.

“I don’t tell you things because you never even bother to ask. When I do open up to you, you feel the need to tell me I have nothing to be upset over.”

I remain in the same place, just standing there. . .looking down at my mother.

“When I come to you, you lash out on me. You tell me to ‘Just be happy’ to ‘look on the bright side’ or better yet ‘I’ve been on this earth longer than you have, what do you know about the world? You’re still pretty young!’ Well I’m fucking sick of it. .”

The words come out like a flood, it feels like I can’t stop! I want to stop but I can’t, they just keep pouring out of me like river.

Like a damn that was finally broken. First a few drops. . .then a small stream. . .then the rest of the flood.

“You can’t keep telling me to cheer up when there isn’t anything to be happy over anymore ! Fuck man- when was the last time you have asked me ‘How was school today’ ?”

“Don’t you dare get smart with me! Don’t you think I try my best, Michael!?”

She’s screaming now.

“I try my best as a mother to provide you with a home, a bed, clothes to wear, food to eat ! I don’t get a fucking ‘thank you for any of it !”

“Yeah! Mum I think you blatantly forget, that is the bare fucking minimum that you are supposed to do for your child !”

. . . I scream back.

“Thank you for providing the things that I needed as a child ! The shit that I NEEDED, yes ! You could’ve been utterly fucking neglectful but Jesus for you to be emotionally unavailable is just as terrible !”

This was the first time, in a long time that I have seen my mother display such raw emotion. Her face. .i can’t even recognize her face now. It’s all scrunched up and red with anger. It looks as if steam is about to start shooting out of her ears as if she’s some sort of cartoon character.

“All of the sacrifices, all of the time, pain, energy- whatever! I gave up my entire LIFE to raise you as best as I can, your father and I working for hours ! Hardly being home to make sure YOU have a place to rest your head at night ! And you’re right! What the hell do you know about living ? Normally when teenagers complain about wanted to be treated like adults it’s because they ARE being treated as such ! You’re sad ! Okay ! I get it Michael but for fuck sake stop making it everyone else’s problem !”

I had already emotionally disconnected from this conversation. .i start to walk towards the front door, not even looking at Jane anymore.

“Oh where are you going now.”

She says, her voice starting to become quiet

“Out.”

“With whom ?”

“. . .”

“Michael Alex Holden. I know you hear me speaking to you.”

I do. But I don’t say a word. .i don’t say a word as I open the door and I remain silent as I leave the house.

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womp womp hope u like it or wtv

#michael holden #osemanverse

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brewingbi · 6 months

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Y'all the Instagram kdrama fans are so insane and so are some of you on here cuz like wdym Namsoon is worse than Ryu Si-o. I GET IT YALL LOVE A HOT VILLAIN YOU THINK HE HAD A SAD PAST YOU THINK HE SHOULDVE BEEN WITH NAM SOON. But be so fr. He's hurt her brother, her mother, her friends and lots of people both directly or indirectly. Innocent people. He does this with pleasure. Why would she like him no matter how well he treats her? That's literally everything she goes against as a person. What do you mean Namsoon now deserves to die or lose cuz she's a bad person😭😭😭. She knew he was bad and that he needed to be stopped. That's all there is to it. The actor plays this character well if he's likable to you but yall have zero character analysis skills or anything beyond a one dimensional surface level understanding of what a person should be if your justification for the big bad guy to win is "He's hot and he had genuine feelings for her." How will a tumblr person ever eat the rich and powerful when the tumblr person folds the second the rich and powerful are attractive😭😭😭. Keep your "I can fix him" a little more wrapped up babe cuz some of you are a little too serious about it.

Don't even get me started on how yall treat the actor playing the male lead. You don't have to like him, or the main couple but Jesus the way some of you treat him😭😭😭. Also like "Ryu Si-O should date Namsoon instead of Gang Hee-Sik" LET THE GIRLY DECIDE HER TYPE THAT BOY WITH THE SOFT SMILE AND ACTUALLY GOOD HEART IS HER TYPE.

#strong girl nam soon #nam soon #ryu si oh #kdrama #byeon woo seok #lee yoo mi

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flyingtacoturtle11 · 2 months

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Hi yall. So I have finally calmed down from my sobbing crying. Yes I’m a dramatic person. No I’m not being dramatic when I say I sobbed. Art heist baby was an experience and I will never be the same. So if you know me (talking to you @kiwibirb1 ) and I start tearing up because I saw or ate and orange muffin, looked at my picture of the gathering storm painting, am normally drinking tea, or looking at shudders. I have my reasons.

That’s was to much but it was amazing and some really really amazing writing. I will always feel so much emotion towards fictional characters and knowing that I can’t show them that breaks my heart.

Remus lupin i love you (and happy bday ml) James potter I love you (I love you) Marlene McKinnon I love you ( you have my heart and I won’t look at an Eletric guitar th same eve) Sirius black I love you (hang in there) lily Evan’s I love you (a little piece of my heart will always belong to you. and everyone else) Dorcas meadows I love you (girl you are amazing never forget it <3) Barty crouch junior i love you (you motherfuckign bastard I love you more than words can say) Evan rosier I love you (you pretty boy, part of my soul belongs to you and part of it belongs to rosekiller mwah) and to Regulus Black I love you (you morally grey depressed little fancy twink I live for you and your sunshine boyfriend <3 )

A little piece of my heart now belongs in Brazil. So if I book a plane to Brazil and start crying with a sad little smile on my face, know that I’ll look for green and red shudders. It may not be here in the universe I live in but somewhere out there there was an old man who made orange muffins and lived in the house with the odd Christmas shudders.

Oml now I’m crying again Jesus Christ. God I didn’t think it could get worse than the artful dodger but here I am. Damn bitch. Whew

#art heist baby #regulus arcturus black #james fleamont potter #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #maurader brainrot is real #mauraders era #mauraders #the marauders era

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theuncoupleddiningcar · 11 months

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Sometimes I think about my Starlight Express song opinions so here they are:

(PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM AMERICAN SO I CAN ONLY WORK WITH SO MUCH)

Rolling Stock makes me feel manly- something about it makes me wanna pump some fucking iron

Call Me Rusty is adorable and is a better introduction to Rusty than Crazy. Call Me Rusty points out his stubbornness and willpower to win, while also showing that the coaches show genuine concern to his condition and don't just go "man this kid is fuckin insane"

If you think I Got Me is "too empowering," You're weird. I understand thinking it's a little odd for setting up Dinah's character, but there's a difference between that and "oh the women are too independent." I think my biggest problem with I Got Me is that there are not coach intros.

I like Lotta Locomotion for what its worth. It's just a cute lil intro song

Whole Lotta Locomotion- wheeeew- it's certainly... a song! It tries so hard to be girlboss-y but fails lyricwise and makes them even more dependent on men- but Im not gonna lie and say I hate it because Jesus it's catchy-

FREIGHT IS GOOD, YALL ARE JUST MEAN- I specifically like the one version from London 1992 where the coaches ARE BRUTAL FOR NO REASON- Also, versions without CB suck ass

AC/DC is at its best when Electra is an over-the-top diva and the components MUST eat it up.

Pumping Iron makes me feel so ungodly feminine (I wonder which part I sing) AND I LOVE IT. I LOVE FEELING FEMININE. I especially love when Greaseball is super snarky and flirtatious.

He'll Whistle At Me puts me to sleep. Make Up My Heart is beautiful. He Whistled At Me is terrible narrative-wise but MAN OH MAN DOES IT MAKE ME FEEL GIRLY

Coda of Freight is REALLY REALLY GOOD????

There's Me is adorbs and I. MISS. IT.

Poppa's Blues is a banger, yall are just haters. Also, hot take, but Poppa should NEVER be white.

Belle may not have much of a purpose in terms of the story, but jeez, her voice is beautiful. I love Belle so much.

I am a Rap enthusiast, so I have to give you my opinions on all of them. Hey You is a classic and it was my first Rap. It sounds so silly and Electra makes me giggle every time. Check It Out is so stupid but WOW IS ELECTRA GAY- I love the beat too. What Time Is It is so extremely CAMPY but I have a soft spot for it- The only version of Own It, Nail it that I have is the 2017 London workshop, and that one was almost a carbon copy of Check It Out. BORING.

UNCOUPLED is always such a sweet song. I HAVE A GRIPE WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE DINAH SO MF SOUTHERN. Like, I get it, but don't give her a HUGE accent. See Jane Krakowski.

Girls Rolling Stock makes me feel so girlboss.

CB (or Wide Smile) is a mf bop and a masterpiece

Right Place, Right Time makes me jam out hard

The beginning of He Whistled At Me Reprise makes me so sad- DUSTIN QUIT CRYIN BOY!

Dinahs Disco is so slay and Electra is such a prissy princess-

"CB! CB! YOU GOTTA HELP ME IN THE FINAL SEEECTIOOOON"

One Rock N Roll Too Many makes me lowkey sad- but my god is it funny-

Only He is a masterpiece. BUT... NEXT TIME YOU FALL IN LOOOOOOOVE IT BETTER BE WITH ME THE WAY IT USED TO BE BACK THEN WAS WHEN WE TOUCHED THE STARLIIIIGHT-

Next Time You Fall In Love makes no sense to me lyric-wise but the song slaps

"I love it when romance occurs on the railroad"

The Megamix my beloved

So, tell me what you think! Do you agree? Disagree?

#ilovetazstarship #starlight express

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kittenninja14 · 7 months

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About KittenNinja14 (aka me)

Hello fellow humans!!

(picture was animated/created by MochiOkanii)

My name is KittenNinja but y'all can call me KN!

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I have a second blog called @knwatchesninjago where I post my reactions to rewatching Ninjago.

I also am Lord Garmadon's henchman. This is his blog: @garmadaddylikey

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Few things about me are that I'm a huge stan of Zane (Ninjago), LadyNoir (ship from Miraculous), and Froggy(Prince Charlie) from The Land of Stories (book). I am also a HUGE stan of My Adventures with Superman and the new PJO TV Show. I am also a Christian girl.

I love, love, LOVE Ninjago!! Both the Movie and the Show!! In fact, the Movie was the main thing that reintroduced me to this beloved show. I used to watch it when I was younger but then I lost interest. I found the movie in June 2023 and have been a fan of both the show/movie ever since! I'm not entirely sure about DR... i like the concept and have seen all the spoilers but i prefer the OG series vibe wayyy more... prob just me lol.

I used to be a fan of Miraculous, but Season 5 made me lose interest. After LadyNoir became friend-zoned, the show went on a sad decline (at least in my perspective). But I LOVE the Movie!! And I also think that the Paris special (Shadybug and Claw Noir) is amazing!

Last but not least is Froggy. He's my favorite character from a book series called The Land of Stories. This series was the main spark that kindled my love for writing as well as reading! If y'all are looking for a series to read, I recommend that y'all check it out!

Lastly, I am also a born-again, spirit-filled Christian girl. If y'all have any questions regarding the bible or Jesus, feel free to ask me! I'll do my best to answer your question!!

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Anyways, I am a writer, as well as an artist. On this platform, I'm planning to post some of my sketches and doodles, as well as some story updates. I'll post my completed art on DeviantArt, tho.

Y'all can find me on Wattpad, AO3, Fanfiction.net, Pinterest, and DevaintArt.

wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/KittenNinja14

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenNinja14

ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/15808840/KittenNinja14

DA: https://www.deviantart.com/kittenninja14

That's all I have for now! Have a great day, y'all!!

https://www.tumblr.com/kittenninja14/731916269075480576/hey-yall-i-just-found-this-incredible-video-and

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My tags:

Art tag: #KN14 draws

Memes/Laughter Posts: #Proverbs 17:22

Bible/Christianity: #word of God

Responses to questions: #KN14 answers

Wanna hear me rant? #KN14 rambles

Updated on April 5, 2024

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capeline-cutemeister · 3 months

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OPINIOMS ON GRANBY…..?????

Jesus Christ three of yall messaged me about Granby why does everyone want opinions on him specifically First impression: It feels so long ago but i started the first book like less than a month ago bwahhhhhhh. At first I had mixed opinions on him. I thought he was going to be like Dayes (so cringe), and my opinion of him really didn't change that much until like, he obviously started not being a dick lol lmao. I honestly really like his character arc in the first book specifically because like. Mans got the courage to be like "Fuck im sorry for being rude and uncouth but I *cannot* let things continue this way" and honestly thats a really cool and chill moment. Like i love long and drawn out sentences (i love Jane Austen i love Jane Austen) but also i really like it when a character is real blunt and just doesn't drag it out. That also especially took guts because the last time that he did something like that Laurence threatened to get him in trouble for insubordination (very smooth Laurence)

Second Impression: Thats right baby Granby gets three impressions because hes that cool. This is Granby precisely from the beginning of Throne of Jade to *right* before he gets Iskierka. Just absolutely most badass guy imo. Super reliable. Best friends with Laurence, super competent. This is Granby at his best and treated with the most respect, and I think Novik had to give him Iskierka to nerf him.

Impression now: I feel so fucking bad for Granby. My severe dislike for Iskierka is not really hidden but she has dragged my poor Glorbo through the mud. When I think of Granby now i just think of that cat that had its face in milk and looks miserable and sad. Like goddamn what did they do to you. Hes still a really strong and awesome character, and it was AWESOME seeing him storm up to Poole in LoD; but he gets so much horrible stuff just tossed on him because Iskierka is a petulant child. Genuine princess behavior, hes a tired king.

Favorite moment: Its a tie between him telling Iskierka to fuck off and listen to him for once, and him in a blistering rage and storming up to Poole. Like you cannot understand how much i love those moments. Just Granby finally putting his foot down and going "No. I will not deal with this bullshit any longer, there are going to be consequences now." Of course that doesn't really go anywhere in LoD because Laurence is also a fucking badass, but meh. The heart was there, man was about to commit civil war in the Aviator Corp just for his friend. I really appreciate that <3 But also on the other hand I REALLY like him standing up to Iskierka in Crucible of Gold because HOLY SHIT she was so insanely disrespectful to him. Like I don't *care* that she is 'his dragon', it was like borderline homophobia in my eyes and the fact that it came from someone so close to him and the entire point of his service in the corp just broke my heart. So i'm glad that he put his foot down for once and made her listen to him. Setting boundaries is really important, and I think that he set them quite well.

Idea for a story: Any of them where he gets a better dragon than Iskierka. JKJKJKKJKJKJKJK Nah but fr i think my only real story idea with Granby would be to explore all of the things that he was doing when he wasn't with Laurence. His constant Struggles with Iskierka and having to deal with being friends with someone that committed treason for a cause he believed in. Most importantly how he developed and maintained any sort of relationship with Little. I dont have anything super unique unfortunately, its hard for me to do something that would be in character without getting rid of the things that make his character, if that makes sense?

Unpopular opinion: Hmmmmmmm well I haven't been around the fandom long enough to really see what is and isn't popular opinion with the blorbo, but i think that my most controversial statement about Granby is that I don't find him that amusing. I love and adore him and i think hes great but he is very sincere in my eyes and that leaves very little in the way of him actually being funny. I think there are only a couple of moments where I think hes funny/in a funny situation. But oh well.

Favorite relationship: Finding any non platonic relationship in Temeraire is so hard for me. I want to say my favorite relationship is him and little, but also i dont care about little that much. I think hes cute! But i was given very little to work with in the books in the way of *their* relationship other than that they have fucked. And like, idk. I think my favorite relationship in general though, is probably him with Iskierka, funnily enough. I think it shows the best of both characters whenever its done right, and I think it really let Granby Be His Own Character. Like everyone in the Corp wants a dragon. Duh. But when Granby gets his, she's a nightmare! He has to go through this long and twisting road where he is afraid to take too wrong of a step because Iskierka, and because hes friends with Laurence(traitor adjacent), and because hes always wanted dragon and hes afraid to fuck it up and etc etc etc. And he kinda has to learn to stand up for himself and others in a way that he probably hasn't had to before. Its not really a path that the other Aviators get to take, they just become background characters after they get their dragon. I mean even Ferris just drops off the face of the earth when he gets his Prussian.

And Iskierka is great because despite how horrible she acts she really does care for him, im not blind to that. But her path in their relationship is that she has to learn to stop being so overbearing, so crazy, so difficult to work with. She has to understand that she is not infallible, and that the things that hurt her are not the same as the things that hurt other dragons, and that realization comes at a pretty horrible time in her life. She has to grow up, which while we see other dragons grow up in this series (like mentally i mean), i dont think that theres ever so stark a comparison as with her.

Idk if that makes sense, but I like their relationship the most out of Granby's relationships because its the most unique for both characters, imo.

#temeraire #john granby #iskierka #character ask meme #ask game

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ao3feed-nanago · 8 months

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Quiet Room

by Luna_Moon22 “Suguru,” He hisses out again. He wants to shout at the top of his lungs. Scream and cry and throw that onyx black ring right at Suguru’s stupid fucking face. Because no matter what Suguru has done, he promised Satoru forever and breaking that promise is the worst crime this bastard could have ever committed. And, goddammit, Satoru deserves a fucking explanation. He opens his mouth to start his barrage of questions. Suguru turns around. Satoru’s voice dies in his throat, the moment he lays eyes on Suguru’s face. He looks exactly the same. Just how he did, before he left for that mission. Satoru stares at him with wide eyes. Those eyes. They tell him that the person standing before him is, indeed, Getou Suguru. The six eyes see Getou Suguru. Gojou Satoru does not. Words: 5658, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, M/M, Multi Characters: Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru, Fushiguro Megumi, Sukuna | Ryoumen Sukuna, Ieiri Shoko, Nanami Kento, Yaga Masamichi, Itadori Yuuji, Okkotsu Yuuta, Inumaki Toge, Zenin Maki, Panda (Jujutsu Kaisen), Haibara Yu (Jujutsu Kaisen) Relationships: Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru/Nanami Kento, Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji, Inumaki Toge/Okkotsu Yuuta, Kugisaki Nobara/Zenin Maki, Fushiguro Megumi & Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru & Gojo Satoru & Ieiri Shoko, Gojo Satoru & Ieiri Shoko, Ieiri Shoko & Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru & Ieiri Shoko & Nanami Kento, Itadori Yuuji & Nanami Kento, Haibara Yu/Nanami Kento Additional Tags: Oh Lord Jesus The Suffering Has Begun, Angst, Whump, Gojo Satoru Needs a Hug, Protective Gojo Satoru, Parental Gojo Satoru, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Physical Abuse, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, As with all my fics there's absolutely no explicit sexual content in this fic, Just lots of torture, it's fun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt Gojo Satoru, We're hurting Gojo tonight yall, Trans Gojo Satoru, Fushiguro Megumi Needs a Hug, Protective Fushiguro Megumi, Sad Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuuji is Not Sukuna | Ryoumen Sukuna's Vessel, Sukuna | Ryoumen Sukuna is His Own Warning, Enjoy the suffering yall via https://ift.tt/zLJTEiD

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #nanago #gojo satoru #nanami kento #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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regalbois · 2 years

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Your tags on the feet post reminded me of how I've seen people claim that shipping Burnsmithers is inherently fetishistic, and uh I don't understand but I guess it's the old people fetish thing? But like jesus crust almighty, it's so stupid, like you can't like a ship with old people in it without fetishizing just because someone else thinks it's gross so that makes it a fetish. Smfh.

And I really don't get it. People seem to have such a deep-seated disgust for old people. Whether it's the generational gap, their bodies, whatever. It's like, disregarding any unforseen shortening of a human life, yall realize we're all going to grow old, right? And our natural life span is so short in the grand scheme, aging happens rather rapidly. We have this warped and terrible idea that our lives have to be settled and perfect before 40, or even sooner, and that afterward we're off the table if we don't find anyone. It's honestly a very sad mentality and hearing my old friends talk about their romantic lives breaks my heart. We're all people. And I'm not attempting to disregard the fact that power imbalances exist, but that is an entirely different cake to cut. And personally, me liking and appreciating older people is not a fetish. It's me liking another person, someone I see as having years on me but still worthy of love. They're human, and eventually I will be like them. I suppose saying something like that would prove to these chronically online goobs that I'm a fetishest but they'll believe whatever suits their hate boner 🤣 I'll just be out here loving whom I love and blocking the goons.

This post is ghost-written by Waylon Smithers.

ANYWAY, yeah I even went out of my way in the BtS fic to be like "iss not a fetish, yall just never spoken to an old person" because I haven't even seen many Burnsmithers haters thank CHRIST, my tumblr is a comfort space, but because of my Burns love and my original characters I get weird comments from people elsewhere acting like 1. my only personality trait is liking old people and 2. it's a fetish.

Here's the part in case anyone forgot or just wants to cleanse their pallette real quick, because it was in Chapter 5 (?) which was essentially a billion years ago:

"How could anyone find something that inevitably happened to everyone to be repulsive? Smithers had never understood. It wasn't as if he only loved old people - this wasn't some sort of fetish - he simply could appreciate the beauty in a well-lived body."

#ask #Burns To Smithereens

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msookyspooky · 2 years

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Hi !! So I decided to start with RZ’s Halloween and when you said grittier you really meant like fucking girttier jESUS

i think im about halfway through the first movie and wow that beginning was fucking depressing as hell, i mean i just watched Juni Cortez (Spy Kids) get beat to death with a stick 🤡 i do enjoy an actual background to his character that’s more than just “he’s pure evil ooohh”

The remake scenes are really fun to watch, even tho the characters in this one seem to all be so fucking unlikable sksksk like on purpose. Also WHY DO PPL KEEP TAUNTING MICHAEL ??? sure they dont know who he is but he is HUGE why would you even try to fight him ???? WHY ARE THEY GOING INTO THE MURDER HOUSE ???? HELLOOOO ???

You're asking the real questions lmfao why are yall trying to start shit with a guy that's 7 ft tall and could rip ur head off ur shoulders with his bare hands??? Are you dumb???

Are you horny and want him to hurt you as a kink???? (If so, same oops-)

WHY

And yeah definitely one of my only true complaints with RZ movies is how he makes the protagonist such unlikeable assholes sometimes with the exception of one character that's usually the final girl (When in doubt, if she's the only normal one in her friend group, that's the RZ final girl) I seriously think he does it on purpose so we aren't that fazed by their deaths idk

Yeah for me the caretaker for Michael being killed by him was sad (Danny Trejo)...Why Mikey? He was nice to you! Him surrounded by ppl like that tho his whole life no wonder Michael developed problems! Like, holy shit. Leave the baby alone wtf is wrong with everyone

I like it and the og bc they're both so different but the same basic plot but I do like the og slightly better just for Jamie as Laurie.

I'm glad you gave it a watch! 🖤🖤🖤 Let me know about others you decide to take a chance on! 😙🤩

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endlessmidnightparade · 1 year

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I posted 3,581 times in 2022

That's 1,389 more posts than 2021!

94 posts created (3%)

3,487 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ursuladeville

@uniquevocashark

@longlivespashley

@bigmammallama5

@bisexualswagbootyloverpunk

I tagged 490 of my posts in 2022

#ref - 23 posts

#for later - 13 posts

#reference - 10 posts

#cool - 7 posts

#noice - 5 posts

#my art - 5 posts

#writing - 4 posts

#fallout 4 - 4 posts

#destiny 2 - 3 posts

#also - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#i think jesus would think this is pretty neat. he’d see this and be like hehe i remember praying to my father for a cigarette and beer

My Top Posts in 2022:

Not to be emo or anything, but I’m feeling good this new year. This is the second new year in a row where I don’t feel completely lonely and alienated from my peers. Previously I used to feel sad and empty on new years, even when I was surrounded by loved ones. But now... I’m gucci. Guess cus I’m more mature now or whatever

8 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

God there’s just so much content everywhere. A new show every month, new music, new games, new company, new product. It’s overwhelming. If we all just didn’t release something for 6 months out the year, we’d all be better for it. Slow down!

9 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

Shoutout to fic writers for your wips and finished works. Some of yall out here writing epics 2x as long as Lord of the Rings and you bless us with ur words and stories and journyes FOR. FREE.

9 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

I love seeing people’s kids on social cus duh, cute kids are cute. But I also LOATHE seeing people’s kids online cus of the blatant disregard for their privacy.

They’re tiny people, please respect them.

9 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wanna make a gaming channel that’s just me playing old games. But not retro. Just like “Here’s a vid of my 5th playthrough of Dragons Dogma” “Speedrunning SSX 3 for the 37th time”

10 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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asymmetricboys · 5 years

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(this is what I wrote first, the night of:

so it’s 5:30 a.m.

the Man put on “Carol” on Netflix at 1 a.m. because I’d never seen it. He fell in and out of sleep while I watched, waking mostly when I made a sound of despair, or happiness that sounded like despair, in order to squeeze my hand or tuck his arm around me

he was fully asleep by the time it ended, leaving me alone in this swell of emotion. his computer died just as it cut to the credits, and I sat up and cried in the darkness of his room.

I was just formulating the plan to shake him, say his name, tell him “wake up. I need you,” when he woke up on his own

I cried on him some more. I can’t explain how the movie touched me. I will return to this post later and expand on it because I need to remember it

but I ended up telling him that I was falling in love with him, even though I didn’t know how that was possible. he kissed me hard and said he was falling too

it’s only been seventeen days since we first kissed

I don’t know what the hell im doing

(this is the extra details of what happened, written a couple days after. spoilers for “carol”:

it was the night of our first “date”--meaning the first time we’d gone out as human beings instead of hanging out at his house after school, or before school. we went to get dinner at a vegan cafe he’d found, instead of just him making me food after a hookup while I lounged in his bed, or in his kitchen, or in his sunroom, reading books and bothering him and singing “teenage dirtbag” with him and kissing the back of his neck while his head was bent over a cutting board.

yes. it was strange at first. to go from such an easy domesticity to the awkwardness of a first date.

we talked about our individual writing projects over food and settled into each other’s company again. afterwards, he took me to a bar he’d been to a couple weeks earlier. he was visibly disappointed when it was crowded--he hadn’t told me what we were doing that night, because he’d wanted to surprise me. the care taken was appreciated.

he offered for us to go, but he clearly was set on this place, so I said we could stay. we managed to get seats eventually and have some very good cocktails. I paid for drinks because he paid for dinner, and he winced at the bill at the bar and said he’d buy me coffee in the morning.

he makes a reference to “carol” at the bar, and when I say I've never seen it, he’s incredulous. he’s seen it multiple times. after he saw it for the first time, he sat there in the theatre, absolutely frozen through the credits, unable to move.

“let’s watch carol later.”

“okay.”

and we go to his house. we fool around--I'm still not letting him do anything penetrative right now, and I don’t need to get into it because this post is about emotions and to me, being naked with him that night was just dumb fun, no drama. it was nice though.

it’s 1 a.m. and he pulls up Netflix, sets his computer beside the bed and turns on “carol”. I thought he’d forgotten. he warns me that he might fall asleep, and that if I need to sleep, I can turn it off. we cuddle and start watching.

he fell in and out of sleep while I watched, waking mostly when I made a sound of despair, or happiness that sounded like despair, in order to squeeze my hand or tuck his arm back around me. the movie is beautiful and riveting and plays so strongly on the instant emotional connection between the women. the kind of connection translated between a look. a few words.

“do you see something in Therese?” he asks me at one point. Rooney mara’s character has just agreed to go on a road trip with this woman she barely knows.

“I see something in why she’s mad into cate blanchett.”

“no, that’s not what I meant.”

“what did you mean?”

“well,” he says. soft, halting voice. “she’s young and this is all new and she’s--

“lost?”

“she doesn’t know what’s happening.”

with us? I think. is that what you mean? because you are seven years older than me and what we are to each other is constantly shifting hour to hour?

“I don’t know.”

I cry multiple times while watching the movie. I cry even at happy moments--maybe especially at them. when carol says “you don’t have to sleep over there,” and Therese climbs back into her arms the night after everything goes wrong for them, tears are practically forced out of my eyes like a fist is wringing out the very last of an almost exhausted sponge. he’s awake still, confused and a little fondly amused at my emotion.

“but see, it’s not over,” he says. “what happened didn’t ruin everything between them.”

“it’s going to get ruined eventually,” I choke out.

he kissed my hair. (actually, I don’t remember that, but it feels right to put it here. he did that a lot throughout--kissing my cheek or shoulder or forehead in silent response to my distress)

he fell asleep for the last twenty minutes of the movie. a “low battery” box popped up on his laptop in the corner, warning that if the laptop was not plugged in, the computer would start shutting down. I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the flow of the movie to plug in the laptop, so I sat there in the intense anxiety of both the story unfolding itself and the fear that the laptop would die and I would be denied the ending of the story. all the while, the Man breathed very loud and steady beside me

the story ends with a look. a slow beginning of a smile. there is no certainty that the two women will be happy, but there is the certainty that Therese followed her feelings out of the party she’d left carol alone for. there is the certainty that it was carol’s “I love you” that drove her into that restaurant. they’re in love and its undeniable and certain, even if everything else in the world--including whether they will be together or not--is up in the air.

I cry through it, obviously. the laptop gets thirty seconds into the credit music, and then it dies, plunging the room and I into absolute darkness. my emotions rush out into the space the darkness creates, and I'm drowning in it.

it’s the love, see. it’s the certainty, see. it’s the familiarity.

I sit up fully, hunching in over my stomach and my knees. i think of my ex-girlfriend briefly, but she’s gone from my head as soon as she pops up, connected to this moment only by the association of two women together. the feeling I'm feeling would’ve never happened if I had watched this in her room.

I will wake him up, I think. I'm planning it. I will say his name when I touch him and then say “wake up. I need you.”

but then he jolts himself awake. he apologizes for the computer dying and when I say, “it’s okay, it let me get to the end,” my tears are too evident in my voice. he sits up and holds me.

the tears won’t stop coming, surging up again every time I replay the stark beauty of that final moment of eye contact and understanding between the women. he is baffled. he is trying to make me laugh, trying to understand the mood that will not allow me to banter and play with him the way we normally do, even when we’re talking about serious things.

I remember things we said, but not quite the order.

“You don’t need to cry,” he says. “they came back to each other at the end. it’s okay. They’re in love.”

“And that’s not something to cry about?”

we tip back over from sitting up to lying down. I want to say something. I can’t work my way around to it.

“Have you ever been in love?”

He softly says he has. Twice.

“What does it feel like?”

He laughs.

“No,” and my voice is less voice and more breath, barely there, “I mean it, don’t laugh at me right now.”

he goes serious and tells me about the feeling. but he’s using general terms. he doesn’t know why I'm asking the question and what I want from him. this is a man who is always dropping accidental bombs of feeling and then tripping himself to walk them back, so afraid of “over-stepping” with me.

“You haven’t answered my question. What does it feel like?”

he says something about when all your concerns—physical, safety, hunger, thirst—become extended to another person as well.

“So you become two?” I say. but that’s not right. “Consciousness expands? The world expands?”

“Maybe consciousness expands, yeah.”

it’s about caring about someone on the same level as yourself, he says.

“but where do you feel it? Where does it sit in your body?”

I can’t remember his explanation, which frustrates me, because he was quiet for so long that I thought he’d fallen back asleep, and then he said love sits in the lymph nodes, which is so specific and peculiar a response that I wish I remembered his reasoning.

(I told him the next day that it struck me because when I was dumped by blue, my partner of a couple years ago, I ended up in the hospital with an unexplainable issue that was causing me to continuously vomit for hours. the doctors eventually found that I had swollen lymph nodes in my gut, but that they didn’t know why. they had no idea what could be wrong with me. “you had your heart broken,” I was told years later by an old man. now I think that man may not have been wrong)

I sit up again. I can’t look at him, so I look towards the windows, where the curtains are a glowing blue from moonlight. I know what I want to say, but it’s so hard to get out that I can see he’s getting worried about me. it’s clear.

“Is there a word--”

I falter. he shakes my knee with a hand, makes a joke. “shut up,” I tell him, soft enough that he knows I'm not mad, just real enough that he knows I'm trying to be serious here, and he needs to let me talk.

“Is there a word,” I say, “for falling in love when you’re a pragmatic person who doesn’t believe that you can love someone before you’ve known them for a long time?”

and see I thought he would get it instantly. that he would know I was talking about him, about me, about us. but he doesn’t. he thinks about it. starts going through words.

“Well, there’s smitten,” he says.

“You used smitten before.” with me, with me, you told me you were smitten with me, and that was days and days ago, I don’t say.

“yeah.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Yeah.”

that’s not enough for me though. I still don’t know if we’re on the same page. I am stuck in the beauty and certainty and simplicity and complexity of carol and therese and I need to talk.

I pull away from him--because we’d ended up curled up together again, lying on our sides--and I sit up for the final time, looking down at him.

“Do you remember,” I say, “when I told you that my first partner said to me, at six months, that they loved me, and I felt nothing but panic? I cannot say things like this lightly.” my voice is shaking. “And I just told you that I am falling in love with you, and I’m looking for something plain in response, and if you’re not there, that’s okay.”

His face changes in the blue light, all at once. He reaches for me, draws me down and kisses me deeply.

“I meant it when I said smitten,” he says when he pulls back. he’s so close I can’t see his expression.

“Smitten is too cutesy. Say what you mean.”

And he rolls me over suddenly and tucks his face in against mine and when he talks again, his voice is rougher than before, like i’ve made him dig down inside himself and come up for air again, scraped raw with dirt and struggle and effort

“Yes,” he says “yes, you know I’m falling in love with you.”

I didn’t feel panicked.

at all.

and we stay up longer, kissing and talking and expressing our astonishment at how fast this is, at the rarity of feeling the same at this intensity at so early a stage. he keeps asking me, like he’s making sure he hasn’t misunderstood, “so we’re both plummeting?” “yes.”

at one point, I’m stroking the side of his face, knuckles skimming a path from under his right eye down to the prickly edge of his beard. He’s looking at me. It’s an expression he’s had a lot recently—one that wasn’t there the very first night, but has grown. I’m looking right back.

“Oh,” he says suddenly, a tiny revelation. “You can see everything now, can’t you.”

I don’t need to speak for him to know that yes, I can.

“Yeah, that’s what this look means,” he says before he kisses me.

we kiss very different now than that first hook-up. we kiss slow, like wine-tasters instead of people trying to get drunk. it’s wonderful.

“If this feels crazy and fast to you, the idealist, think about how it feels for me, the cynic,” he says at some point.

(the next day, he’ll tell me on the subway that he hasn’t fell like this since 2009. That he feels this glow around me, this optimism that he hasn’t in years. That it scares him, because it could do a lot of damage. I feel flattered. happy. a distant guilt that does not have to be dealt with yet. he has mis-characterized me as an idealist. I'm not a cynic, but I’m more pessimist than not. I know this is a train wreck of too much too fast, particularly for him. he has more to lose. he is seven years ahead of me in time, in life, in disappointed relationships)

“This is not what I thought would happen after I showed you that movie,” he says.

“What did you think would happen?”

“Well, my pessimistic thought was that you’d feel…a type of dysphoria. That you’d feel like you were here with the wrong person and wish I was a woman.”

“no.”

“More realistic thought was that you’d just love the story and be emotional about it. But not to this degree.”

he is the one who mentions that it’s only been seventeen days since we first kissed. I liked that he said it like that: “first kissed” instead of “first hooked up” because it betrays that he was always hoping we’d be here--that we’d be more than casual.

anyway, I meant to add some details of things I remember us saying, so that in years to come after this smashes and burns, I can look back fondly, but I ended up going WAY TOO DETAILED lol

I'm feeling.....good about things though. I should be way more scared than I am, but it’s like....it’s like I'm working through things as they become an issue in my head, instead of letting things fester. it’s like I'm....almost tackling this in an emotionally healthy way? except for the not having enough balance of not seeing each other versus seeing each other. we do need more space

and there is the distant fear: we still haven’t had penetrative sex again. I might make a post specifically about how my current sexual encounters with him are (and importantly, AREN’T) challenging my own understanding of where I am on the ace spectrum, but that would be a lot of writing and weird personal detail so we’ll see lol

I'm just rolling with it! I'm falling in love for the first time! I have NEVER felt that. I don’t want to be sad while it’s good, the way I was during carol! I want to enjoy the feeling and enjoy feeling so close to another person!!!!! it’s all good babes!!!!

#ace babbles #im in his bathroom i gotta go back and be normal #jesus what is happening to me #those were my original tags so now the following ones are my edit tags #this is OBSCENELY LONG #I need to make a tag just for this running story #because that's essentially what it is #a love story of an asexual trying to have sex #and the mess that followed #ace talks falling in love #the fact that I'm writing about this in such detail betrays the fact that I anticipate it not lasting tbh LOL #but like....in a beautiful way not a sad way #I hope one day when he writes about me he is kind #in how he portrays me #because I have been confusing and demanding to him #deeply affectionate while insisting on casual and then suddenly springing stuff like this on him #I will be a very strange character in a story of his one day #I know this for sure #he writes from his life and he's told me this #don't date writers yall they will turn you into a story #as I am turning him into one

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suffering-frombrain-rot · 2 years

Text

So me and my friends have a document of quotes that we have said or heard and I felt the need to assign quotes to the members of buccigang, maybe ill do la squadra next?

Anyways we are stupid and say stupid things there are more for certain characters because they fit, Bruno and Fugo don't have as many and none that I could find sounded like Trish but anyways here we are

Mista: Get fucked! ......Nevermind I'm getting fucked

"You can like women I guess but you're gonna be hella fruity at the same time" - god creating Mista probably

Mista: If you put your funds to buying guns you'll have less butter proportions

Mista: Sometimes the best medicine is a bullet in the brain

Mista: I'm very miscellaneous

Mista: you don't understand. They want to steal my cheezits

Mista: I'm sure Mr. Whisper played many a round of hopscotch in his youth

Mista: Mustard on a hot dog is just piss on your dick

Mista: Whatever you're going through is not more important than beans

Bruno: I will gladly take care of any crotch goblins you have, I love kids!

Bruno: I only know it was a bone cuz I licked it

Bruno: Astral projected my ass directly to 9 years ago for about 3 seconds

Bruno: Welcome to the mafia, if the depression doesn't get you, the others will

Bruno: I'm not sad I'm just concerned

Bruno: Sorry I can't hear you over the sound over me PAYING

Bruno: Which one of you piddled on the table

Bruno: If I cant have a cool dad!!! ILL BE THE COOL DAD!!!! *honk honk*

Bruno, upon meeting Abbachio: You're an alcoholic? That's pretty poggers

Abbachio: Giorno, I've only known you for a short amount of time and I am going to punt you directly into the sun

Abbachio: I am not above hate criming a child

Abbachio, about Bruno: he's just out here getting attached to other men

Abbachio: You're 70% water go drown in your bodily fluids

Abbachio: You wanna see jesus?

Abbachio, to Fugo: Can you not give me a virus

Abbachio: *incoherent mumbling for 12 minutes accompanied by loud ass music* I can't deal with this *mumbling continues for like 30 minutes*

Abbachio: Shut up grandma I'm gonna put you in the gadamn nursing home!

Abbachio: Ahhh it be the cockroaches up in this peace! Is he trying to kill me

Abbachio: I just came back from WhatTheFuckVille, population huh?? To hear yall talking about bug fuck

Fugo: I'm like a plague but I don't spread, I linger

Fugo: I want to charge into people and gore them

Fugo: you are 15 pounds of nothing

Fugo: Classy men don't eat doors

Fugo: I identify as a threat

Fugo: I was gonna beat you over pickles that weren't mine I hope you know that

Fugo: You and your 3 inch lightsaber are disappointing

Fugo: Im going to staple you to the ceiling fan

Giorno: I've harassed my therapist with moths

Giorno: why do you insist on assaulting me with fake fruit

Giorno: We're going to exploit capitalism and pay for the couples ticket when we're single

Giornio: maybe illegal activity is the way to go

Giorno: honestly i can tolerate capitalism when theres dragons and ritualistic sacrifice involved . but ONLY when dragons and ritualistic sacrifice are involved

Giorno: Date idea: plot to overthrow the government

Giorno: Sky daddy really fucked me in the parent department

Giorno: The boss smells like a sussy baka

Giorno: I’m a minor, I have a giant eagle advantage card

Giorno: Ice cream grew bones the day I did this

Narancia: I'm dumb and queer Bucciarati, all i need is caffeine and i'll be fine i'll be ready and willing and able to fistfight god and fuck the devil

Narancia: fuck Pythagoras, me and my homies hate Pythagoras

Narancia: I was fully ready to drop everything and believe Bucky Barnes was a sexy demon butler

Narancia: DO YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF

Narancia: I share a lot of common interests with neurodivergent lesbians

Narancia: Oh, that’s oxygen?

Narancia: Mr. Whisper and the proclaimers played hopscotch together

Narancia: There’s a Snoop Dogg lego set?

Narancia: I'm about to break all known laws of aviation

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