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danvillecheese · 10 months

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the general audience versus the rest of us

this analysis is not to degrade anyone outside of or in the fandom, it’s simply to showcase how differently people remember phineas and ferb. there are a number of topics I will delve into, all of which are lovingly put into sections under the cut. so, with no further ado… enjoy!

how normal people watch it

so if you’re like me and watched pnf occasionally on tv growing up you’ll remember bits of the show. you’ll remember it’s repetitive and episodic nature, the way everything goes back to how it was at the start of the day. phineas and ferb think of something to do, candace attempts to bust them, perry fights doofenshmirtz, and doofs machine makes phineas and ferb’s invention disappear, sticking to the status quo of what linda typically sees. it’s predictable, but not in the sense that you necessarily know what’s going to happen. maybe you do, or something happens that subverts your expectations. the “typical phineas and ferb episode structure” (or TPNFES, I’m calling it that now) is how a lot of people who haven’t seen the show in a while will remember it. or maybe not. maybe they remember doof making an inator that does x. or they remember the aglet song (never forget ze aglet!). it’s typically something you’d have seen at least a couple of times during its original run.

and no, of course there’s no problem with only remembering one or two things about a show from your youth. I personally watched a lot of shows as a kid that I don’t remember a thing about. yeah I watched LazyTown when I was like four but if you asked me the plot of any episode I would NOT be able to tell you. and it’s because it wasn’t something I was really interested in. and of course, kids can be interested in shows and know a lot about them and then hit their teen years and not remember much about them later. but if they go back and absorb that content again? they see stuff they missed the first time, or stuff they definitly remember. hell, they might even sing along to A.G.L.E.T. because as everyone knows, pnf lyrics stay with you forever. (even if you haven’t heard the theme song in a decade you won’t forget the lyrics. that shit is hardwired into you from the moment you first see it.)

my point is, a casual viewer doesn’t do anything more than just… watch the show. hell, sometimes they don’t even watch it, they’ll have it on in the background while they’re on their phone or doing something else (couldn’t be me!!). watching the canon content just once gives them the satisfaction of starting and ending the show. they don’t go into detail about it. they probably won’t open an ao3 tab the moment the last episode finishes. they won’t make a tumblr sideblog dedicated to understanding the intricacies of character arcs, their goals and ideals and how they interact with others. they don’t care enough to do that bc it doesn’t make their brain go insane for more knowledge about the show. and as strange as it sounds, they don’t have it on their minds for that long. yeah, maybe theyll think about how nice the songs were in that s4 finale but after that, that’s it. they’ll move onto something else.

how I watched it

I watched phineas and ferb as a kid. I’m pretty sure I watched it when it first aired, too. perhaps not in 2007, it might have been the year after when it actually started premiering (nz airing is so far behind it’s not even funny). I watched it as it aired, and then grew out of it around the middle of s3. I got a little older, started watching different shows, and I was just generally doing other stuff. I have a vivid memory from 2012 when a kid from my class told me that pnf wasn’t worth watching bc the same thing happens every episode and my socially inept ass went “omg ur so right” and I stopped watching it. fast forward a couple of years and I hear that the show is like, actually finally ending. idk why but I remember it being in 2014, not 2015 when it actually did air (the pnf wiki doesn’t have the date for the nz airing of last day of summer so I guess we'll never know if it aired early or not) but I watched it and kinda just carried on with my other interests at the time.

around 2017, I start talking to an internet friend from the same country as me. we talked about our upbringings and stuff we used to watch on tv, and she brings up phineas and ferb. aha! I know that one! it encourages me to rewatch the show and before I know it, I’m shoulder deep. i mention facts about it to real life friends and family (“there’s a pnf episode where…”) and I go hunting for interviews and comic-con panels with the whole cast on youtube. you know how it is. I start going through the posts on tumblr and I find a sibling show of sorts – one that also has a crossover planned for 2018. I watch that show. I lurk in the shadows of the tumblr tag for a while. I start writing fic. I draw the characters on any piece of paper I can get my hands on.

it all comes to a head in october 2018, when I wrote a phinjeet fic called cappuccino, and one of my favourite artists EVER made fanart of it. and obviously, I had to put it somewhere. I’d thought about making a dwampy sideblog for ages and had no idea what to call it or anything, but this was all the encouragement I needed. I made the sideblog. I reblog the art. then I went through my likes and got some of the pnf/mml posts out. fast forward almost five years, and here we are. still just as insane, just with a new username.

in short — no, my experience watching pnf is not one of those typical of a general audience member. I mean, it would have been, if not for that fateful conversation with my internet friend that basically rebooted me and quite literally rewired my brain to be insane about this cartoon universe. I’m not by any means a casual viewer of this show. I know more than an average person would about it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adore this little community of ours. and being able to crack out of context jokes that come from the shows to older people who I know have never seen it, well, it’s a cherry on top.

both the GA and the fandom contribute to the culture staying alive

there’s certainly a way that the general audience keeps pnf alive, even if they have no idea they’re doing it. they’ll make very generic memes about it (you know the ones I’m talking about) and they’ll circulate the internet for a bit, reminding everyone about the show they watched casually as a kid. us, on the other hand, make very very niche memes about it. like hieroglyphics. and combovers. (see what I did there?) ours tend to stay in our little circulation, minus the ones that break containment. you get it in any fandom though, it’s certainly not limited to us.

as many times as you’ll see the posts that attempt to explain the ‘doof is phineas dad theory’, you’ll see just as many responses debunking it. or seeing dan and swampy debunk it, as they should. (honestly I think we need like crystal fucking clear evidence in the reboot to explain it otherwise it’s just gonna keep happening.)

the circulation of phineas and ferb itself through any means, be it memes or actual conversation that prompts a rewatch or even just a memory of the show, keeps the show relevant. I think one of the more notable ways this has happened is dan povenmire getting tiktok famous and basically reminding every older gen z kid about the show. to quote jeff swampy marsh – “plus there’s always reruns so the show will never die” – sure, disney channel itself barely exists anymore but reruns can also kinda be translated into disney+ rewatches or even just the passage of a meme on the internet.

phineas and ferb has stayed, somewhat, consistently relevant. I mean, think about it. since pnf started airing, there hasn’t been a year (except for 2021) where nothing has happened. pnf aired from 2007-2015, milo murphy’s law aired from 2016-2019 (which includes phineas and ferb characters so I count it as pnf content) and catu came out in 2020. dan’s own show hamster and gretel started airing in 2022, and based on the poster, I don’t think we’ll be missing any phineas and ferb characters at all. dan basically confirmed it. and truly, it’s what keeps the show alive, even when it’s not really there.

things in the show that the ga have very different opinions on, re:

candace and jeremy’s relationship

something the general audience haven’t caught up with yet is the way that candace and jeremy interact within the show. sure, if you haven’t watched it since you were 10 then you probably remember candace being like insane and loud about the boy she’s obsessed with. if you watch it again, you’ll see that jeremy is almost just as bad. it’s just downplayed because he’s not a main character. we don’t see his perspective NEARLY as much as we see candace’s, which might make it seem a bit more one sided or unrequited than it actually is.

in the episode “backyard aquarium” from early s2, we’re shown a montage of both candace and jeremy trying to ring each other for a whole day, until candace goes to bust her brothers and forgets about her phone for a little moment. this gives jeremy time to leave eleven messages for her. obsessed much? (it’s actually kinda sweet) and yeah, they’re teenagers. every feeling seems way more amplified than it actually is so both of them getting upset that they cant contact each other is pretty realistic, even if it is just played for laughs.

there’s a lot of really thorough characterisation when it comes to both of them. mostly with candace, obviously, she is THEE main character of the show so clearly she’s deep and very fleshed out. we don’t see it as much with jeremy but we get pretty good glimpses of it when it’s shown. he’s got the picture of her from “the bully code” in his guitar case. he likes her so much! he put her picture in the place he keeps one of his favourite things!! he’s down so bad for her! but of course, if you don’t actually pay attention or care especially about any of that stuff, you’re going to miss it and generalise about it. and it unfortunately applies to quite a few things in the show. sigh.

doof’s relationship with his parents

for real, fuck those guys. I think the ga are pretty aware of this part, and if you asked anyone to say what one of doofs backstories are they’d probably say “his parents didn’t show up for his birth!” or “he was a lawn gnome!”. both of which are specifically tied to his abhorrent relationship with his parents. but what they potentially don’t remember is how he still tries to gain their affections anyways. it’s the classic trope of not being able to cut off your abusers simply because you just can’t, morally. you still want to prove yourself to them and make them see you’re worth having around even if they never liked you in the first place. heinz tries very hard both in his youth and in the show itself to gain affection from both his mother and father. these include:

the teddy bear and trying to be good at kickball (thaddeus and thor)

the original gnome (fathers day)

even the fucking clip show episode from the end of season 3 (this is your backstory) where his mother comes back and he goes in for a hug and is instead greeted with a smack. hmm.

even just those examples are enough evidence that yes, heinz did actually really try with his parents even if they didn’t care. and again, it’s unfortunately played for laughs that heinz is constantly beaten down by almost everything around him but as we know, he gets a real family at the end of the show and things seem to work out well for him. does he get closure with both of his parents by the end of s4? maybe not his mother, but sort of with his dad. and yeah, maybe they’ll get into that in the reboot. but it’s definitely something the ga never noticed. it’s always about laughing at his tragic backstories, even if that is the point of them, not necessarily feeling bad for him and wanting to see him come full circle with everything that’s happened to him. and it does!

isabella and her one (1) personality trait

according to the ga, isabella garcia-shapiro is a one dimensional character who’s only personality trait is having tunnel vision heart eyes for the boy across the street. is your blood boiling yet? mine is! isabella is one of the most fleshed out characters in the show, with a large family and interests outside of phineas. hell, she’s the leader of her fireside girls troop which is a huge part of her personality. she’s brave and strong and gives ominous patch related threats to a man almost five times her age. but no, the general audience will only ever see isabella as the girl obsessed with phineas. I’m not discrediting this at all because yes, she’s obsessed with him. she’s a simp. definitely nothing wrong with that at all! but the ga claiming that it’s her only personality trait? get fucking REAL this girl is deep and gets upset and anxious and emotional about things that have nothing to do with the boy she’s in love with. even if it does have something to do with that, she carries on anyway because she’s strong as hell. it’s not the first time a character has been like that on disney channel — I mean, kim possible was pretty boy crazy but her crime fighting always came first, right? (really showing my age with that reference. wow) and I hate to reference act your age bc it’s vile but she doesn’t only ever spend her time moping over phineas as a teenager, she keeps herself busy and helps her mom at the restaurant and is an RA at her college and does a whole heap of other things! she’s multifaceted and it’s what makes her a really compelling character to watch. and watering her down into just the girl who likes phineas is a huge discredit to her character.

so, where am I going with this?

I’m not saying ever general audience member has to rewatch phineas and ferb a million times to understand every single character arc. hell, I’m not even saying that they have to rewatch it at all. there’s such a huge divide when it comes to it, and obviously not everyone is going to experience everything the same way. a lot of people simply don’t care enough to crack open the psyche of every phineas and ferb character to understand their motivations. that’s just the freaks (affectionate) who roam on tumblr, eager for media analysis of a childrens cartoon that ended almost a decade ago.

for a lot of us, it’s very satisfying to be able to analyse specific media. there’s writers and storyboard artists that put all that stuff in the show for a reason, right? it makes us want to see parallels and understand where a characters moral alignment sits and why exactly buford speaks latin. and for others, they’ll simply watch a show and move on. there’s no need for them for it to be on their brain 24/7.

overall, there’s a stark difference in the way people watch a show as iconic and culturally significant as phineas and ferb. the general audience watches it very differently to us, and that’s okay! it happens with any piece of media. there’s casual fans that watch something once and then the very not casual fans who have it on the brain constantly. and then there’s fans that have been very absorbed in the fandom and move on, which again, you’ll get anywhere. nothing about the dwampyverse fandom is limited to us, in terms of the way things go (not the source media itself. name one other show that has anything REMOTELY similar to pnf happen in it.) most people know the show, and most people don’t know about the insane and obscure facts about it, and I think it’s fantastic.

goodnight tri-state area. thank you.

#phineas and ferb #cj writes unecessary analysis abt a show that ended almost a decade ago. nothing new here #in my insane era (again)#dwampyverse analysis

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nightwings-robin · 1 year

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having a lot of feelings about the Young Justice cartoon in this chili's tonight since it's the ten year anniversary of when the last episode of season 2 aired back when the show was first canceled.

I know I've criticized and complained about yjtv a lot before but I do truly love the show. it's what got me into dc comics. I remember watching the very first episode when it premiered back in 2010. before that, the only dc things I had seen were bits and pieces of Schumacher's Batman and Robin and the Teen Titans Trouble in Tokyo movie (and I didn't even know that that was dc related at the time, like I didn't know Robin from TT was the same character as Batman's sidekick).

I knew nothing else about dc outside of that so watching Young Justice all those years ago is what got me hooked into dc comics, which has become such a huge part of my life. so I feel like I really owe yjtv for introducing me to dc comics.

like I said, I remember watching the first episode, I remember being blown away by Failsafe, I remember watching youtube reviews by MangoSiren and TheSirkShow. I remember the tumblr fandom for it in like 2012. I remember watching it at a friend's house and theorizing about what would happen next. I watched AMVs and read fanfiction. even drew some fanart and wrote my own fic.

I remember being devastated when it got canceled. I signed petitions and literally wrote a letter to Warner Bros begging to renew it.

and I remember watching the finale Endgame on saturday March 16, 2013. I volunteered at the animal shelter that day before watching it. It was cold. I can't describe the emotions I felt watching that "last" episode but it sure did make me feel a lot of things.

I totally understand why many people dislike or even hate the Young Justice cartoon. like I get it. if I had been more knowledgeable about dc comics prior to watching it, especially if I had read the Young Justice 98 comics, I probably wouldn't have liked the show so much (like seriously why is it even called Young Justice if it was going to be so vastly different from the comic of the same name????)

but I still love the show so much despite its flaws and I credit it with saving my life. it came out when I was a depressed high-schooler with suicide ideation but I didn't make an attempt on my life literally because I didn't want to miss a new episode.

I will always owe yjtv for that.

#young justice animated #young justice cartoon #yjtv #dc comics #suicide mention #I am once again pouring my heart out about a cartoon that actually irritates me more than anything #I know it sounds stupid that I didn't off myself because of a cartoon but remember:#there's no such thing as a dumb reason to not kill yourself

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otnesse · 1 month

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@pepsi-al Making a separate post regarding your and Mattress's exchange about Pokemon ratings, since I can't reblog the latter directly:

pepsi-al: themattress: Here are the regular ratings averages for the Pokeani shows following the OS (all you need to know about that is that it was perpetual highs in Kanto, Orange Islands and early Johto, and then the biggest rating drop in the franchise happened during the rest of Johto.) AG: 1 - 35 (Series Premiere — May’s First Contest) = 9.0 36 - 80 (Musuem Theft — May’s Fourth Contest) = 8.0 / 7.0 81 - 131 (Resumed Fillers — Hoenn League) = 6.0 132 - 192 (Battle Frontier) = 6.0 / 5.0 DP: 1 - 85 (Series Premiere — Ash vs. Crasher Wake) = 7.0 86 - 141 (Summer School arc — Meeting Palmer) = 6.0 / 5.0 142 - 152 (Evil Togepi — Team Galactic Finale) = 7.0 153 - 170 (Resumed Fillers — Meeting Bertha) = 6.0 171 - 191 (Dawn gets Togekiss — Series Finale) = 5.0 BW: 1 - 60 (Series Premiere — Milos Island) = 6.0 / 5.0 61 - 82 (Ash vs. Clay — Pokewood Studios) = 4.0 83 - 108 (Ash vs. Roxie — Unova League) = 6.0 / 5.0 109 - 122 (Episode N) = 4.0 123 - 142 (Decalore Adventures) = 3.0 XY: 1- 44 (Series Premiere — Ash vs. Korrina) = 5.0 45 - 66 (Serena Gets a Goal — Return to Lumiose City) = 4.0 67 - 122 (Ash vs. Clemont — Ash vs. Wulfric) = 3.0 123 - 141 (Kalos League — Series Finale) = 2.0 Basically, DP and BW were successful, AG and XY less so. Coincidentally (or not), Gens IV and V were more popular than Gens III and VI. Maybe Gen VII’s popularity will reflect on the ratings for the SM anime…but if it’s popular and the show still bombs, that’ll be interesting. And I saw someone on YouTube just now literally try to point this fact out about XYZ specifically. In the replies he got, there was nothing but reality denial and blind accusations of “hatred”. I just can’t with this fandom, sometimes… As I have said before and will say again, ratings doesn’t necessarily reflect quality or opinion, they reflect interest. I found a chart about it and drew lines for the baseline ratings that would be expected for each series (which is basically a million less that the previous series.) For the most part, the Original Series was well above the line, sinking under only toward the end of Johto but rising back up for the Johto League. Like I noted above, AG remained above water for around 80 episodes before sinking, only having a temporary rise to expected numbers during the Hoenn League before promptly dropping when Battle Frontier, viewed as a “filler” arc, started. DP sagged following the Summer School arc, rose back up around the time of HeartGold/SoulSilver’s release, but then fell again around the time of the Grand Festival and never recovered ‘til the end. BW did just fine for all of its 2010 and 2011 run, but then fell in 2012 until the Black 2/White 2-inspired “Season 2″ rebrand brought the numbers up again….until the Unova League, after which there was a freefall. XY held steady for its first half, then dropped like a stone in its second half. SM, as it turns out, is the most stable the anime’s ever been ratings-wise, the numbers rising to the line then back under over and over again like the tides of the ocean (appropriate!), with the main drop happening in the final year with the change in timeslot and the advent of streaming services providing an alternative way of watching the show. While the series known internationally as Journeys…..yeah, let’s just say there’s a pretty good reason we seem to be looking the end in the face right now. But like I said, ratings reflect interest, not quality. I personally found the second half of XY, especially XY&Z, to be drastically better than the first half, but that doesn’t matter since the target audience in Japan got burned out by the first half that their interest in the whole show dropped completely. That SM never had a comparable plummet speaks volumes about which style the kids preferred, so the producers embracing that style for Journeys makes sense.

Looking over those ratings, it's pretty clear that if anything, the biggest and most prolonged drop in ratings actually happened in AG, not Johto (even Johto at least tended to stay above the line even if it's undoubtedly less than Orange Islands or Kanto especially). Really acts as a bit of vindication to me that this proves the audience did NOT like Hidaka's decision to axe Misty, ultimately. Sure, AG started off strong, but it ended up tanking quickly, and not due to the fad dying out either. And it being turned into Contest hour at Ash's expense certainly didn't seem to help either, nor the rather cheap wins against Gym Leaders. DP for all its faults at least found a way to stabilize the ratings somewhat, and BW, even though I personally found Ash's character reduction to being an idiot distasteful, at least did overall well ratings wise until the league (which is obviously due to Ash losing his rank).

So, no, Johto, for all its faults, didn't nearly kill the show, and AG most certainly didn't save the show. Quite the opposite, the mishandling of AG if anything is what helped KILL the show ultimately. Sun and Moon, even though I really disagreed with the decision to go all Emperor's New School on it, at least did better by actually trying to do better quality for the most part, not to mention actually have Ash WIN an in-game league and, heck, even bring back Misty and Brock to fix one of the biggest glaring problems with the show (namely, the mishandling of gym leaders).

The AG-stans really need to look at the ratings better, because this definitely doesn't look at all like AG even saved the show at all and if anything is more likely to have driven the show's audience away in a massive number, ultimately leading to Ash being replaced after one mistake too many. You would think they'd learn their lesson after Orange Islands that replacing one of your leads would not work in the long run, but alas... Sure, maybe keeping Misty wouldn't have guaranteed that the ratings would go back to Kanto or Orange Islands level, but at least it would have had AG having its ratings be above the line rather than consistently below it, barely meeting it at best.

#Anti-Advanced Generation series

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tending-the-hearth · 1 year

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1,2,3, 10, 12, and 14 for the TMNT asks?

What's your favorite iteration/version?

2012 turtles my beloveds... my boys... my special dudes... my reason for living...

When were you first introduced and what was your first reaction/thoughts on the franchise?

so going off of the first question, the 2012 nick show is the ENTIRE reason i fell in love with TMNT. i watched it from the moment the first episode originally premiered to the end, and i immediately loved every single one of the characters. i'm open on here about my struggles with bullying, so TMNT gave me the same type of escape that Percy Jackson did, and gave me the ability to have something to look forward to!

How long have you been in the fandom?

it was 2012 that i started so it's been ten years and that's GROSS i don't want to think about that because it makes me feel so old jesus

Who's your favorite turtle? What's your favorite version of them?

my love... my life... my beloved hotheaded boy...

2012 raph is my FAVORITE version of my FAVORITE boy and if it isn't obvious by my posts about him, i can and will defend him until the day i die

and i do have a second favorite version that i MAY be in the minority about...

hehehehehehe him <3

Do you have an OC?

i do!! i have a couple, but the one i've written the most for is Isabelle Gold! she was my very first OC that i ever began developing, and she's very special to me. she's also the oldest OC i've got, because i literally started creating her when i first started watching TMNT, so she's a ten year old OC who is in DESPERATE need of an upgrade. i've actually been working on rewriting her story, because given that it's been eight years since i first started writing fanfiction, there are definitely things that i want to switch around and add!

like, i gave Isabelle a brother, and he was kind of just a last-minute add-on, but i really want to give him more character, so he's someone i'm going to be developing more!! (not just because i kind of wrote in a bit of foreshadowing that him and Leo would end up together completely on accident but looking back there's definitely a bit of subtext that i didn't realize i added in?)

Have you made any fandom friends through tmnt?

so i haven't met anyone new via the fandom, but @queen-with-the-quill and i both discovered that we both adore TMNT, which has just solidified for me that we were meant to be besties 😌

#2014 turtles my beloveds #no one can tell me anything bad abt the bayverse turtles i love them #SO much #teenage mutant ninja turtles

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kunoichi-kame · 4 years

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No talk me sad over turtles

#it's a different saddness #when other shows end I'm like wow it was so long so many memories #I'd sad because I can't be sad over that #like SU helped me with mental health #and it was the first big show I saw premiere when CN won back my trust post-CN real #Voltron...well it's the reason I got a Tumblr and generally helped me out of my first big depression period #TMNT 2012 shaped me so much even if it was flawed #I wouldn't be in this fandom without it #I think Rise was gorgeous and I'm pissed it ended early #I'm definitely attatched #I definitely fangirled when I watched it #but the hiatuses and lack of hype made it different #it was always more of a last minute surprise to see it than highly anticipate #Nick did it so dirty #tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #save rise #support rise #support rottmnt

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laporcupina · 3 years

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Any thoughts on the Loki premiere? (Assuming you’ve seen it; if not, feel free to ignore this :))

I have now finally seen the pilot! Yes, there are several more episodes to get through, but it's both the NHL playoffs and my poor Mets are playing games-per-day > 1 and so TV is something for those weird days when neither is happening because I cannot shed my father's rule about no non-sports TV before dinner despite being in my forties.

Thoughts on just the pilot:

* I love the 1960s aesthetic. I'm young Gen-X and can recognize it by sight because it was still part of my childhood. I'm sure they chose it intentionally and I could look up why, but I choose to believe it's because Marvel hit its modern stride then. I'm sure the actual reason is far more pedestrian, like someone watched Mad Men.

* I'm used to Marvel's comics universes having time watchers and omniscient bureaucrats with an inability to see trees while trying to preserve the forest. Welcome to the weirdness, MCU.

* I love the casual diversity of the TVA; Marvel TV/movies are crap on that front in general and tends to send up flares when they do something token (see: first canonically gay character in the MCU... is a no-named NPC portrayed by a Russo Brother) and in Loki it's just there. Eugene Cordero (Pillboi!!!) warmed my heart because the dude's got a niche and Wunmi Mosaku being badass and larger than sample size and Gugu Mbatha-Raw is just always a treat. I hope it continues.

* Owen Wilson's a genuine joy. I am always, always going to stan the unflappable competent character who isn't a superman. (Or, why I spent years writing SGA's Lorne and love MCU/Ultimate Clint Barton.) I look forward to what else Mobius has going on.

* I'm still ruminating on how the show navigates Loki's character. The entire premise hinges on a few facts that don't hang together well at all: (1) Loki was the most popular character to come out of the first Thor movie and thus his return for The Avengers; (2) Loki is an unrepentant villain for the latter and not any kind of anti-hero even if he's a fandom woobie; (3) the MCU tried really hard to massage Loki into an anti-hero as Phase 2 and 3 progressed; (4) the show returns us to the unrepentant asshole from 2012 and erases the massaging and 'growth' the character exhibited. We might have come to like the Loki who died by Thanos's hand, but we're stuck with the asshole who wanted to vaporize a Holocaust survivor to shut him up.

The pilot had to spend quality time addressing the fact that Loki did objectively awful things by choice. Bucky Barnes and his sense of responsibility versus what his actual responsibility is is a far, far easier topic to handle. Loki's arc is darker because he made choices on his own and while some of them were in emotional extremis, he had time to sober up and reflect and stop his bullshit. Instead, he chose to double down on those bad choices and that's always been something to reckon with with the character.

Loki's mischief is occasionally really effing malevolent and that's the case before his life is upended with the revelation of his Jotun origins. The first movie portrays him acting out of a reasonably wise place: he recognizes that his beloved brother is not ready to be heir apparent even if their parents don't see it. He loves his brother and his parents and Asgardia, but he thinks he's cleverer than everyone and he's willing to prove it even if it costs lives because it will save more lives. But he's not going to any of the funerals because he's doing this for science! And then his life and his identity and everything he believed in is blown up and he lashes out. At some point, it stops being a crime of passion and starts being murder.

Loki didn't have a redemption arc per se in the pre-variant timeline. Thor never forgot what his brother had become and Loki never pretended he hadn't done those things or wasn't likely to keep doing similar things, but it got kind of pushed to the side that he'd done those things. They team up because it's expedient and because Loki's had enough time to process events that he can have emotions beyond rage when it comes to Odin and Frigga and Asgardia. But Loki's never redeemed-redeemed. He's on a path toward it, perhaps maybe, when he gets killed. But it wasn't a sure thing.

The show's pilot has to get us from MCU Phase 1 Loki to MCU Phase 3 Loki or else none of this works. He doesn't have Bucky's lack of control -- he doesn't even have Frank Castle's TBI-induced lack of control. He hasn't had time to process his grief in 2012 -- that 'what if I am a robot?' pause is hella meaningful -- and the writers have to expedite that. I'm still not sure how much it worked. Loki seeing his own foreordained death after seeing proof of his indirect responsibility for Frigga's death and proof of his return to the bosom of Asgardia's royal family with his presence at Odin's side for his passing... it requires a lot of wish-fulfillment on the part of the viewer. A lot. Loki is fresh off mass murder and assuring us that he doesn't really enjoy hurting people (but is willing to do it anyway) and really does love his Asgardian family... we want it to work. I'm not sure it does if we're not already pre-sold on it working. Maybe this is developed in subsequent episodes. I hope so.

#loki #mcu #mcu meta #loki meta #dmz bloviates a lot

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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TMNT 2k12

I’ve had such an upsurge of my TMNT 2012 content as of late haha. I wonder why? Did interest get renewed and I just never noticed? Meh. Anyways!

my all-time ultimate fave character: April O’Neil

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Hmm… that’s a good question. Slash maybe? IDK.

a character I used to like but now don’t: I still like him, but I grew more and more frustrated with Mikey as the show went on until by the time it was over I was just done with his lack of maturity/infantilizing in and out of universe

a character I’m indifferent about: Pretty much all of Shredder’s henchmen. Some started interesting like Fishdface and Tiger Claw, then just became one-dimensional by the end. Bebop and Rocksteady wertre probably the most entertaining, but them being brought baack robbed the other Foot Clan villaina and Stockman was just utterly wasted. Karai no longe rbeing a villain really robbed the Foot Clan any remaining depth.

a character who deserved better: April due to her plotline ultimateley being left open-ended with no resolution and Splinter if you’re aware of how everything with him ultimateley ended.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Pretty much any Mikey pairing. Him with Renet was cute, but Renet only appeared like… what? Three or so times? So that wasn’t much. Shinigami… IDK what they were even trying to do and they gave up on it almost instantly. Honestly I think Mikey is too immature to have a romantic relationship so I’m not in favor of most ships with him.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Probably the only one I’m still a fan of is Yoshi/Tang-Shen.

a cute, low-key ship: Raph/Mona. The other ship I’m still a fan of. No overdone pining that takes too long or teenaged stupidity, they just go for it with them and I love it. It works well for Raph’s character as well, he can at least brag that he has the most successful love life after watching Leo and Donnie be stupid XD

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: None I can think of. Maybe Apritello? IDK if it’s still popular or not, but you eeither loved it or hated it back when the show was airing. It has it’s issues witht he execution and how it ultimateley ended unresolved. But it’s still cute and I still love their relationship espcially when Donnie became better at handeling his feelings.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Are there any that became canon that I have issues with? Hmm… none come to mind.

my favourite storyline/moment: Storyline… hmm, IDK. My favorite episode is still The Invasion because a few bits aside, they got everything right int hat episode. The build-up, the tension, the action, the emotions,t he sense of dread as everything that we knew and cared for came crumbling down… it’s still the best episode(s) in the entire series. Which I feel the seocnd half of S3 REALLY mitigated it’s impact, but I’ll rant about that when I hopefully do that Ten Year Revisit series I want to do for TMNT.

a storyline that never should have been written: The Space Arc. A lotof S4’s issues could have been soloved had they just not done the space arc at all, or focused S5 on the Foot Clan front insterad of ending it at S4 and filling S5 with dide-stories. I have a theory as to whyt hat happened, but regardless the Space Arc ruined what should have been the biggest seaosn of the show as the main story reached it;s conclusion, but mad eit feel crammed and rushed as a result. Which we’d lost a lot of good stuff like the last three episodes of S3, the Aeon Crystal subplot, and Fugitoid, but if losing them allowed for a better story then that’s worth losing.

my first thoughts on the show: When TMNT 2012 premiered, I was in a huge slump. Aside form Wild Kratts, The Penguins of Madagascar TV series, and The Legend of Korra I had lost faith in animation. CN, Nick, and Disney had mostly lost my interest (CN I was especially angry at due to the CN Real situation) though Nick had regianed some faith cause of Penguins and LoK, Disney’s films while improving hadn’t regained my faith due to the CGI switch (I hadn’t seen Tangled yet), and RL matters at the time were giving me less and less time to be invested in it. I was more interest in classical animation and was pretty much set on staying there aside from the shows I previously mentioned. I put it on TMNT 2012’s premiere because nothing else was on and at the very least I could enjoy hearing Rob Paulsen. I was blown away. The animaiton, the fights, the characters, the voice acting, it was the best thing I had seen in a looong time. It was the first time I got up to see new episode premiered in years. I was new to Tumblr by then so I was able to ge tinvolved int he fandom very quickly, which really defined my Tumblr career. It was just so cool and I loved it~!

my thoughts now: The show was great, but not without it’s issues. It’s so much easier to realize and point them out now that it’s over and the euphoria has long since worn off. I gave up on it around mid-S4. I stopped watching the premieres and just slowed down until by S5, I’d oretty much stopped all together. My interest was dead. Int he early days I couldn’t imagine life without the show. But by then I was fully into othershows/fandoms and thus I had no problems washing my hands clean of TMNT 2012. Does that mean I hate the show? No. I still have all my DVD’s and comics, as I said I’m planning a 10 year series, and regardless of how it ended TMNT 2012 both got me into Tumblr/fandom culture (for better and worst) and renewed my love for animaiton. Hell it single-handedly made me go form hating CGI that wasn’t Pixar and blaming it for animaiton’s downfall to realizing how misguided that belief was and becoming more open-minded. TMNT 2012 was a huge part of my life, and I’m grateful for that.

#ask #Anonymous

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felicia-cat-hardy · 3 years

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My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get Relationship Advice Here

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greensparty · 3 years

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Movie Reviews: Bliss / A Glitch in the Matrix

What a coincidence that I got to review two movies that open today, one narrative and one documentary, about simulation theory. After watching both of these, I think my mind needs a dumb comedy just to decompress!

Bliss

Owen Wilson is Greg, recently divorced, separated from his family and now fired from his job. He, then, meets a mysterious woman Isabel played by Salma Hayek. She is homeless and mystical. She convinces him that the world and all of the people around them are part of a simulation. He is doubtful at first, but soon comes to believes her. They soon escape into another world, one that Greg has been daydreaming about at his job for quite some time. Is this beautiful island the actual reality and Greg’s perceived reality actually a simulation? Or is it?

movie poster

I had a lot of issues with this movie. Hard to get into it without spoilers, but overall it aspired to be like Christopher Nolan’s sci-fi films or The Matrix, but failed miserably. It wasn’t as smart as it wants to think it is and at a certain point I wasn’t into the characters anymore. In a film like this, you need to be on board with the characters. The concept of someone disenchanted with the world they are living in and dreaming of a better world is very of-the-moment, but the execution was dull and uninspired. The most disappointing thing about this is that we haven’t seen Owen Wilson or Salma Hayek as often we used to and I had hoped this would be a throwback to some of their classic performances of the 90s and 00s. Better off re-watching some of Wilson and Hayek’s better films.

Bliss premieres today on Amazon Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Bliss-Salma-Hayek/dp/B08RMNMGNB

2 out of 5 stars

A Glitch in the Matrix

Rodney Ascher’s 2012 documentary Room 237 took on various interpretations and theories about Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. It was truly original in every sense of the word. Last year, I named it my #1 Documentary of the 2010s. In Ascher’s new doc, he takes on the philosophical and scientific question of “are we living in a simulation?” The framework of this doc centers around two touchstones to that question: a 1977 speech from noted sci-fi writer Philip K. Dick (the writer of a number of books including Blade Runner, Minority Report and A Scanner Darkly just to name a few) and the 1999 movie The Matrix.

movie poster

In Room 237, you hear several commentators, but you never see them. Here, we see the commentators, the majority of whom appear as their simulation avatars in keeping with the spirit of the subject matter. The filmmaking is very similar to Room 237 in that it shows clips from several popular movies to reinforce the point the commentator is making.

While Room 237 blew me away a lot more than this did, I was completely mesmerized by this Glitch. It is easy to write off the theory that our reality is actually a simulation or video game some higher power is controlling, but believe me - after you watch this movie and hear several scientists and theorists (including Elon Musk in several clips) discussing their beliefs, you might just think there is something to it. The doc takes a very dark turn when one Matrix fan takes his fandom too far, but it shows the counterpoint that in this reality we are in, there are laws and consequences and you can’t just do what you want because of a theory or interpretation. Ascher is one of the most original documentarians working today: able to take a theory and whether its true or not, leave the viewer on the edge of their seat as they hear believers connecting dots that may or may not be there at all. It also made me want to watch more movies adapted from Philip K. Dick novels too.

A Glitch in the Matrix opens today: https://www.aglitchinthematrixfilm.com/

4.5 out of 5 stars

#bliss #mike cahill #a glitch in the matrix #rodney ascher #the matrix #simulation theory #documentary #Movie Reviews #room 237 #philip k. dick #film geek

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ohnosoph · 4 years

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Slow your roll there Thomas Middleditch fans, new and old...

TW: Abuse, emotional/mental manipulation, gaslighting, body-shaming

You might wanna sit down for this. :-/

I’ve noticed that there’s been some more Silicon Valley/Jake and Amir hype happening (most likely as a result of the fabulous Middleditch and Schwartz Netflix special) and for those of you that are new here, welcome but proceed with caution.

In truth, the amount of recent fandom revolving around Thomas Middleditch has honestly left me dumbfounded. Because not to be that person but...

...he’s pretty awful.

And given how rampant cancel culture has become, I’m GENUINELY surprised how most of y’all let this fly for so long. Or even worse, let it slip past you in the first place.

And to that I say---no more.

Thomas and Andrée:

Thomas around 2010-2012 was romantically involved with a fellow comedian/actress named Andrée Vermulen.

They eventually broke things off and he started dating his now ex-wife Mollie (who I’ll get to). It wasn’t until June of 2016 when Andrée came forward about how Thomas (who she chose not to name, maybe due to the fact that he had a very popular HBO comedy on at the time and wanted to avoid any drama) pressured her into getting breast implants. He preyed on her self-image issues, saying he was a “boob guy” and instilling the idea within her that her natural breasts weren’t ‘good enough’. She got the procedure, which he’d initially offered to pay for but then demanded afterwards that she pay him back for it. The implants caused her both immense emotional and physical trauma as you can go onto read about in her original Instagram post.

(This goes without saying but please do not send any hate towards Andrée, she’s very clearly put all of this behind her and I honestly feel bad drudging all this up.)

After getting a removal surgery, she decided to keep the implants and donate them to the Museum of Broken Relationships in Los Angeles. She originally wanted to send them to Thomas but decided that it would be more cathartic to give them to a place where her story could be told over and over again and shared with others who may have needed to hear it.

God bless that woman. :,)

Thomas and Mollie:

Since many fans chose to sadly ignore the whole Andrée situation, it flew under the radar. But it was admittedly pretty hard to ignore the onslaught of websites and blogs when last year in September...this was everywhere you looked:

Now, at first glance, it seems pretty harmless. It was 2019 after all. Non-monogamous relationship dynamics such as polyamory and open relationships seemed to be pretty widely accepted and still are.

That was never the issue.

The issue was Thomas single-handedly committing one of the most preventable, egregious acts of foot-in-mouth syndrome I and many others have ever seen.

In short, Thomas waited until AFTER he and Mollie wed in 2015 to express his desires to “get non-traditional” with their relationship.

What a prick.

He goes onto describe himself as being a very sexual person which again, isn’t a bad thing. The fucked up aspect is where he basically acknowledges that Mollie is a private person and then airs out ALL of their dirty laundry in a Playboy article that I can’t help but feel is a publicity stunt.

Not in it’s legitimacy. But just as a way to get his name back in the airwaves following the bomb of a Godzilla movie that he starred in and to drum up interest in the last season of Silicon Valley that would be premiering later that year. Either way, I highly recommend reading the full article as it gives you a better idea as to how Thomas sort of dragged Mollie into all of it.

Meanwhile, there are plenty of women who have come forward online (most of these are unconfirmed however), saying that they were approached by either the couple or just Middleditch following his improv shows for group sex.

There was also the time a photographer friend of his posted on IG a photo of a scantily clad woman (I’m sorry for not including the post he was replying to, I genuinely forgot the person’s @ and will try to find it if I can) and THIS was his response:

Just...why?

It wasn’t until this past May, when he and Mollie, who had been married for 5 years, filed for divorce over “irreconcilable differences”. **insert pikachu surprised face**

Thomas has since expressed regret over his Playboy interview, saying that it was a “painful learning experience” but wasn’t it also JoJo who said “too little, too late”.

Yeah, sure seems like it.

TO CONCLUDE;

You can by all means still be a fan of Silicon Valley. I’m currently sat five feet away from my season 4 “Changing The Way Things Change” poster on my loft wall. You can by all means still like Richard. Who doesn’t miss that anxious, awkward lil bean? You can still be a fan of Jake and Amir. You can still like Doobs. And Solar Opposites and Captain Underpants and anything else he’s known for and been a part of. And hell, you can still be a fan of Middleditch and Schwartz and even...still like Thomas (why would you tho??).

But if you do choose to stand by Middleditch and actions and his future projects, please don’t at the same time feign support for abuse victims and when you are LITERALLY supporting a known abuser and manipulator.

That’s all.

Stay safe out there.

- Soph <3

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darksaiyangoku · 4 years

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Monty Oum & What RWBY Means to Me

5 years ago, the RWBY and Rooster Teeth community was stricken with the tragic news that Monty Oum had passed away at the young age of 33. He was a very talented young man with a knack for creating some of the most bizarre yet fucking awesome concepts, his fan films Haloid and Dead Fantasy, his work on Red vs Blue Seasons 8-10 are considered landmarks in the show’s history and RWBY is now one of Rooster Teeth’s top franchises.

Today, I want to honour him and show the world that they’re missing a bright star.

A Brief History of Monty Oum

Monty Oum was born in Providence, Rhode Island in 1981. A highschool dropout, he was making fan animations as early as 2002, with his most famous, Haloid, being released in 2007.

youtube

This got him noticed by many people in the gaming industry and he even managed to get a job at Midway Games and later Bandai Namco as a combat designer in 2008. However, he soon realised that the gaming industry wasn’t as appealing to him as he thought, so he left to peruse filmmaking.

In 2010 he met with Bernie Burns from Rooster Teeth and was hired as lead animator for their hit series, Red vs Blue, for their 8th season.

Now I’m not familiar with Red vs Blue, outside of a few clips that my friends showed to me back in college. But from what I’ve seen, Monty brought a level of energy for Seasons 8-10, featuring a lot of his signature stylistic fight choreography. It was during this time that he had an idea for his own series that he wanted to make. He pitched it to Bernie, who agreed to it if he could deliver Season 10 of Red vs Blue.

Once Season 10 wrapped up, featuring Elijah Wood no less, Monty teamed up with his friends and fellow Rooster Teeth employees, Kerry Shawcross and Miles Luna, and created his crown jewell; RWBY.

RWBY

Between late 2012 and mid 2013, four trailers were released promoting a new series for Rooster Teeth. These featured four girls wearing elaborate and colourful outfits, an anime styled aesthetic, kickass music and the epic fight sequences that would soon become synonymous with this series. The trailers were named after the colours associated with each of the characters; Red, White, Black and Yellow. It would later be revealed to coincide with their names; Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long.

Once the final trailer hit, it was announced that the premiere of the first episode would be held at the next RTX Event. Following the premiere, the series would be released on a weekly basis on Rooster Teeth’s YouTube channel and their own website. 7 seasons later, RWBY has proved to be a huge hit and has since become Rooster Teeth’s flagship series.

I first heard about RWBY when my friend showed it to me in college back in early 2014. Before heading to my first lesson early in the morning, he took out his phone and showed me this cool trailer of a cute girl killing demonic wolves with a scythe-gun. My jaw was on the floor and I was really impressed with it. He told me that it was part of this new anime series and that I should give it a watch. Unfortunately I never did, as I was busy with other anime and TV shows at the time.

Then 2 years later, tragedy struck. During one of our weekly sessions in our anime club, it was announced by my friend and leader of the club, that Monty Oum had unfortunately passed away. For the rest of the day, we dedicated ourselves to watching the original four trailers and some clips of Red vs Blue in his honour.

I was shocked to say the least, especially considering the fact that I wasn’t very familiar with his work at the time. But from watching glimpses of his work, I could tell that he had so much talent and passion and he was dedicated to leaving his mark on the world.

Fast forward a few years later into 2018, I was at my lowest point. I returned home to my parents and reconnected with my family again after a period of isolation. After a rough patch, which I’ll talk about another time, I was beginning to feel like myself again and it was on one faithful day that I decided to boot up YouTube and watch RWBY.

Not only did I love it, I was hooked! The characters, the storyline, the influences from fairy tales and mythology, the anime aesthetic, the fight scenes and the music. I loved it all and watching it brought back a creative spark in me that I didn’t feel in quite a long time. Throughout 2019, I was hit with new motivation to resume my own project; a novel series inspired by superheroes and mythology. Alongside that, I also delved deep into the RWBY fandom and discovered a whole host of amazing fan-content such as comics, fan art, cosplayers, fanmade music, AMVs and of course, fanfiction.

RWBY fanfiction really cemented my love for the series and it moved me how much fans looked up to Monty and his creation. Their expression of love through this medium was heartwarming, to say the least and their creative passion really shone through with their own alternate takes on RWBY lore. But at the same time, all the admiration I had was accompanied by guilt. I felt so horrible that I never looked to Monty Oum or watched RWBY much sooner and I if I could go back in time, I’d watch RWBY when it first started airing.

Even beyond the amazing fan content, I’ve also met great friends through this fandom and many of them on tumblr and Discord. We share ideas, theories and our own works because this series and the man who made it filled our hearts with joy.

So to Monty Oum, I thank you for creating such a wonderful series and inspiring me to get back into writing. Thank you for building a community where other creators can get together and share their works through you. Your legacy will live on, through us and through RWBY. My wish is to become a creator that’s just as talented, inspiring and amazing as you.

R.I.P Monty Oum. 1981-2015. We will carry on your spirit, as fans and as aspiring creators.

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#monty oum #rwby #red vs blue #haloid #rooster teeth #rwby fandom #rwby fans #rwby fans united #tribute #thank you #thank you monty #cold rwby #casey lee williams #jeff williams #monty oum tribute #rip monty oum #rest in peace

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teamjacobthot · 4 years

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1. What's the cringiest memory you have as a Twilight fan? OR the happiest memory? 2. Has Twilight influenced your fashion choices, personality, and so forth? 3. What about Leah Clearwater resonates with you? 4. What's your favorite Jacob scene in the books and movies? [You don't have to answer all of them, no pressure. Thank you!]

let me just say this is my favorite ask in the world. I cried a couple times and I honestly think it’s made me re-evaluate my life. these kinds of asks are My BrandTM and I’m legitimately honored that you’re interested! ilysm 💕

im on mobile and im about to gush abt stuff so keep mf scrolling

1. my cringiest memory is a tie between going to walmart at midnight for the dvd premieres of eclipse and breaking dawn part 1 (and maybe breaking dawn part 2 but i literally can’t remember at this point) and like........going to the seattle twilight convention in 2011. but now that I think about it, it wasn’t cringey at all! i was 13 and it was the single best day of my life. i got up early with my mom that morning and we drove the half hour it took to get to downtown seattle from our house. the girls of the hillywood show hosted and i got to meet them. i later attended panels with tyson housemann and booboo stewart and julia jones 💕💕💕 it was julia’s birthday but she didn’t mention it, humble queen. and omg she wore a tank top and threw a football around........what a woman. booboo also did a backflip in that hotel lobby lmfao. but besides seeing the cast, that slday was incredible bc i won twilight trivia against a bunch of ppl (including grown ass adults) lmao. that was so incredibly fun. best day of my life as a twihard.

wait but BITCH I forgot I went to forks w my dad in 2013!!! the town was dead as fuck but it was so fun 💕💕💕 I did a bunch of tourist shit but I’m so glad I finally went and I’m so thankful for my dad for taking me no matter how bored he was. that was amazing

2. twilight was my first Thing as an adolescent. i got into it when i was 11 years old. it has shaped so much of me, but most importantly, my opportunities to make friends, as well as my music taste bc of my friends from these websites putting me on to new music. the soundtracks ofc put me on to new music too. but anyways, some of my best friends since middle school were people I originally met on twilight fan sites or the 2012 taylor lautner fandom on twitter. twilight was also the longest book I’d read at the time, so it upped my reading habits. and I’ve also loved writing since I was little (like 8 years old) but discovering fan fiction made it that much more fun. I’ve always loved writing and fan fiction enabled my love for it, even though most of my fics were shitty. I had (and still have!) so much fun. in terms of fashion, I had a phase where I liked flannels bc of bella but I definitely dress cuter now than anybody in those movies lmaoo.

3. now Leah Clearwater......LEAH CLEARWATER. she’s always resonated with me in that shes a woman of color and NOT afraid to show others how she feels, no matter how annoyed or uncomfortable everyone else gets because of it. she was hurting and didn’t hide it (not like she could, but still). she made sure she was heard despite all those boys telling her to shut up. and also, her protectiveness over Seth reminds me of how much I care about my younger brother and wanna shield him from everything bad in the world, even when he’s being a dumbass. but overall I think of leah as a huge breath of fresh air in that she’s one of the only characters who not only criticizes the Cullens but Bella too. she also has that brand of humor that’s kinda mean but very true and I’ve definitely embodied it for at least the last 12 years of my life. I just wish she was real so I could be her friend. smeyer managed to under develop one of her most compelling characters ever.

4. my favorite jacob scene in the books was every last scene in new moon before he phased, but especially the part where he and bella talked at the movies. that was really sweet. and I don’t claim eclipse, but the little parts they hung out as friends (before it got annoying) were nice as well. oh and I LOVED when they danced together in the breaking dawn movie. she was so happy to see him! like literally delighted! the first time she looked that hapoy during the entire wedding and reception!!! but my favorite overall jacob scene is definitely at the part in the new moon movie right before I turn the whole thing off, when they’re in her truck and he’s like “sometimes I feel like I’m gonna disappear.” that really gets me. I wish it got more elaboration. jacob’s backstory is literally so rich I wish we got more of it :( and this may be an unpopular opinion but his take on everything that happened in new moon would be totally cool to have but it’s too bad smeyer made him Love Interest #2 and not like.......his own character

thanks sm for this ask!!! this has definitely been my favorite 💞💞

#anon #leah #jacob #personal

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obsessivedilettante · 4 years

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20 in 10: A Drama Retrospective

Since I’ve been all quiet on the drama front this year because of life reasons, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick out 20 of the most memorable dramas of the last decade. Maybe not necessarily the best dramas or even my favorites (although some are!), but two dramas each year that were somehow notable moments in my drama-watching timeline.

2009: Gateway Drugs

Boys over Flowers (KBS)

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good drama. It is not one I think I can ever really rewatch (although I will happily revisit the 2005 Japanese version, and I had a hellava fun time watching the latest Chinese version). But! It was the first kdrama I remember watching, and the first step on the slippery slope of eventually becoming a Drama Addict. I mostly remember it being crazy popular on places like mysoju (RIP), and so I checked it out due to curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, should I say, almost paaaaradise!

You’re Beautiful (SBS)

This one I also watched because it became crazy-popular online, and curiosity got the better of me. I really didn’t know much about k-pop prior to dramas, so I had no idea until after this drama that k-pop was more about pretty people in crazy fashion, dancing in syncopation in bizarrely lit rooms, rather than playing instruments. Because it was thanks to this drama that I got my crash-course on k-pop as a phenomenon -- both the fandom side, and the crazy things that artists have to go through to claw their way into the public’s view (nevar 4get the glorious ramen dance). Since Angel was a group that played instruments, and Hongki and Yonghwa were also from groups that played instruments, I assumed that all kpop were groups that played instruments. Oh, sweet summer child...

But it did get me started on my k-pop journey, first falling in love with FT Island and CNBLUE, before falling into the rabbit hole of the other prominent groups of the day. (SNSD! The Wonder Girls! Super Junior! DBSK! SS501! Kara! 2PM! 2AM! Shinee! BEG! Epik High! U-KISS! All the debut groups, like 2NE1, MBLAQ, B2ST, 4Minute, f(x), T-ara, After School... basically 2009 was a magical year in k-pop.)

If I had just watched Boys Over Flowers, I don’t know that I would have become a Drama Addict. But You’re Beautiful pushed me closer to the edge, with the zany humor of the Hong Sisters (and the desire for a pig-bunny of my own!). It would really be Coffee Prince that would push me over the edge, but that aired in 2007 so it doesn’t count for this list. But I had to mention it anyway, because, well, it’s Coffee Prince and where my love for Handsome Oppa began.

2010: More Than Candy

The Woman Who Wants To Marry (MBC)

A lot of the dramas I watched at first had that typical “Candy” character, the poor-but-scrappy girl who would somehow be saved by the guy and become the Cinderella she never knew she wanted to be. So it was a delight when I encountered women who were not only older than high-school-age or early twenties, but in their thirties, with rich full lives! Plus, this was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of the “noona romance” (a concept that I’ve since heartily embraced, of course). I started it primarily because Kim Bum was my favorite of the Flower Boys, but I stuck with it because I fell in love with the women (and I still have a girl-crush on Bu-ki).

Harvest Villa (tvn)

This show is insane. But in the good way, the way that the writer intended, and not in the “are a bunch of monkeys typing this script?” train-wreck way. There was basically no buzz about this show, and I feel like I somehow accidentally stumbled over it, but it was love at first sight. I’ve never forgotten the late hours binging it, being so sucked into the story that I absolutely had to finish it as soon as I could, disappointed that there wasn’t more of it to enjoy when I finally finished, bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but satisfied.

I then later gobbled down this writer’s next drama, and her next drama, and the next, until everyone else finally realized thanks to Signal that Kim Eun-hee was as amazing a writer as I kept insisting to anyone who would listen (aka no one).

2011: To Binge or Not To Binge?

White Christmas (KBS)

I did not watch White Christmas in 2011. I actually watched it in 2013. I was always a steadfast binger, preferring to wait until the buzz about a show would sway me into spending my precious free-time watching something that would be worth my while (not that my drama choices were always good, but at least I tried to avoid the duds). I still prefer to binge, since waiting weeks for new episodes is vaguely frustrating when I want to know what happens next, right now! Plus, I’m very good at forgetting that I’m watching a show in the week-long wait for new episodes, and then just... never picking it back up again.

Despite watching White Christmas a couple years after it aired, it remains one of my favorites, and one I love to rewatch, even though I’ve already experienced whodunnit cliff-hangers and psychological rollercoasters. It became a tradition of sorts here on tumblr for a bunch of us to rewatch it over the holiday season -- alas, I haven’t joined in that tradition for the past couple of years, but I hope that somewhere in this blue hell hole that there are a loyal few keeping the tradition alive.

At least we have this drama to thank for bringing us all the model-actors that were new and clueless in White Christmas, but would later go on to be leading men in their own right. Of course, some of them haven’t exactly made the best drama choices (*cough*SungJoon*cough*), but then there are others (*cough*SooHyuk*cough*) that I’m impatiently waiting for to pick up a new drama so I can see those post-army abs.

Tree With Deep Roots (SBS)

This is the first drama that I recall live-watching. I vaguely remember regretting it at the time, since it was agony waiting for new episodes, but it was also fun to have a week to speculate and ponder the show. And what a beautiful show to ponder! This was also one of the few sageuks I actually watched, being generally intimidated by anything longer than 16-20 episodes, and my historical knowledge was a little shaky (before embracing my inner nerd and diving into mundane historical stuff just so I could better understand whatever drama I was watching at the time).

I don’t think I intended to continue live-watching shows, preferring the ease of binging at my own pace and schedule. But that was when I was still a casual, innocent addict, and not someone who would eventually make dramas a huge part of her life.

2012: The Joy of Overthinking

Gaksital (KBS)

Having had a taste of live-watching, I started to live-watch enough dramas to the point where I began to make notes about the premiere weeks. It was only a couple at a time, and binging was still my preferred way to watch, but now I was delighting in being part of the fandom, sharing in speculation each week, posting my thoughts on dramas and analyzing them to my heart’s content -- even though I knew no one except me would read my ridiculous essays.

But I started to feel more comfortable sharing my opinion with the world, interacting with fandom and not merely content to be a consumer, but gradually becoming a producer as well.

Reply 1997 (tvN)

This is it. This is when I went full-on Drama Addict. This is the tipping point from casual fan who quietly kept to herself, to becoming someone who stood on the mountain top yelling about ALL THE DRAMAS ALL THE TIME. I began to interact with other fans! To swap theories and share squee-worthy moments! I even watched episodes RAW just because of how desperate I was to know what happened, and even though the Busan accent stumped me more than once, it made me realize that my casual study of Korean was something to take seriously since I understood more than I gave myself credit for.

It was also the first time any post I made got more than a handful of notes, since I’d mostly hovered in the “less than 10 notes per post” category at the time. I was so proud of myself back then!

(This drama also notably marks the start of my Hoya obsession, which continues to this day.)

2013: Tumblr Friends (and Foes)

Flower Boy Next Door (tvN)

Having made myself comfortable on tumblr as a Drama Addict, I then discovered some other dedicated fans -- many of which I still follow to this day and who are now just a permanent part of my dash, no matter what their current interests may be -- in the FBND squad.

But I also discovered Kim Seul-gi as the Webtoon Editor (who I still love and adore and continue to use as my avatar), and her adorable romance with Dong-hoon remains one of my forever OTPs. As much as I enjoyed the drama romances, I’d never fallen so deeply for one to be so obsessed by it as I was Webtoon Editor and Dong-hoon. And tbh I still am. They’re just so adorable and pragmatic and she buys him a bag. Ugh. I love her so much, you guys.

Heirs (SBS)

Ah, yes. This hot mess.

I don’t know what possessed me to live-blog each episode. But I did. With snarky commentary and terrible screencaps. And suddenly I went from maybe 200 followers to over a 1000. That was a total shock! I met a lot of people because of that (and made some friends, as well as a few enemies who didn’t appreciate my opinion of certain characters), and ensconced myself as part of the drama-blogging crew.

It was from this that someone suggested I apply to be a minion at Dramabeans. Back then, I had a lot more free time than I do now, and I was watching a lot of dramas that Dramabeans didn’t cover, and wished they did so I could read more opinions about those shows. So I thought, “Eh, why not? It can’t hurt to submit something because the worst that would happen is I’d waste their time making them read my take on episode 10 of Let’s Eat.”

I fully expected them to turn me down. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself agreeing to dive into the world of recapping.

2014: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Trot Lovers (KBS)

Recapping. It seems so easy when you’re reading the recaps. But actually creating them is a bitch. Hours out of my life were spent on this disaster of a trope-laden show with no plot. This was the third show I worked on for Dramabeans, and I hated it to the point where I seriously considered handing in my notice. (Immediately following up this show with the mediocre My Secret Hotel certainly didn’t help matters!)

However, it turns out that what I actually hated was being forced to watch a terrible rom-com and pretend to come up with insightful-or-at-least-neutral thoughts about it (since we were still new and couldn’t go full-on snark yet).

Misaeng (tvN)

This is what saved me. Being given the chance to immerse myself in such a unique, ponderous, thoughtful show restored my faith in dramas and the drama community. I loved spending hours on this show, soaking up all the little details, and then sharing that love with the world.

Misaeng made dramas magical again.

2015: Fight Me

Valid Love (tvN)

Realizing that I only seemed to enjoy rom-coms at arm-length, I discovered that my tastes often ran counter to the general drama-viewing public. Not all the drama-viewing public -- I’m not a “not like other fans” kind of fan -- but enough that I began to realize the whether a drama was popular or had good buzz was not necessarily the primary reason to watch it.

I began to have more faith in my own taste, based on past experiences with various writers and directors. Even if the premise (or first couple of episodes) seemed kind of weird and out-there, I at least wanted to give these artists the benefit of the doubt that I would enjoy their work, like I had previously.

So many people seemed to hate Valid Love, but I adored it. Still do (and still desperately wish Kim Do-woo would come out with a new drama -- it has been too long, writer-nim!). There were a lot of opinions about this show, even among people who seemed to enjoy it, but I vividly recall having to repeatedly insist that it wasn’t about the romance and argue that the knee-jerk infidelity-is-BAD opinions should make space for something more nuanced.

Ho-gu’s Love (tvN)

DramaFever was a pretty great site. It brought together so many drama fans and gave them a place where they could legally (and without fear of downloading random viruses) watch dramas to their heart’s content. Yes, there may have been some lingering resentment that they were the primary reason that so many amazing other sites were shut down (RIP mysoju and daebaeksubs), but dramas were more accessible than ever!

Eventually, DramaFever started to sub shows themselves and upload them weekly (instead of just using fansubs and uploading older dramas), and while they weren’t the best translations, they were at least better than machine translations from the Chinese subs. As I became more and more familiar with Korean, I found myself more likely to migrate to Viki since I liked the extra detailed translations. I could get the gist of a show without any help -- I wanted to instead delve into the nitty-gritty of the language.

But I never really hated DramaFever or felt they were particularly awful. Until they mistranslated something so terribly that it changed the entire meaning of a scene and ruined people’s perception of a drama, forcing me to continually defend the true translation.

That was the molehill I died on that day, and never again did I touch DramaFever. I feel bad that it eventually got unceremoniously shuttered. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for the “condom” incident.

2016: Free Solo

Dear My Friends (tvN)

For two years I’d been happily working on one episode a week, sharing a show with someone else, until I was asked if I’d like to tackle a show by myself. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it, but I had the time in my schedule so I said, “Sure, why not?”

I was originally going to recap Another Oh Hae-young, but there was a last-minute switcheroo, and I’m so incredibly glad because this is perhaps my favorite recapping experience of all time, even more so than Misaeng. There was something so special about the luxury of having an entire show to myself, especially one with such a fantastic cast of characters and thoughtful themes. I didn’t have to try and figure out if I agreed with another person’s take -- it could all be my opinion.

Is that arrogant? Perhaps. But it was also therapeutic, as it reminded me once again how incredible and amazing dramas could be, and the privilege I had to share such an exquisite and thought-provoking drama with the rest of the world.

The Good Wife (tvN)

Surprisingly, this was what I had really wanted to recap that year, and the true reason I got Dear My Friends, since it aired just prior in the same time-slot as The Good Wife. I was desperate to have this show, willing to do anything to get it because I needed to see Jeon Do-yeon back on the small screen, to see Yoo Ji-tae smolder, to know how Korea would adapt such an ambitious show.

And I wasn’t disappointed! This is, perhaps, my favorite adaption of another work of art that I’ve seen in dramaland. It remained true to Korean sensibilities, but it also properly felt like The Good Wife. The cast was phenomenal. The costumes were exquisite. I wished I could spend more time in that world.

But I was also thankful, because without The Good Wife, I would have never have had Dear My Friends.

2017: Serial-Killers Are Cool

Voice (OCN)

I can’t remember how I got assigned to this. Maybe it was a scheduling thing. I do know that I really, really wanted it, since it would be Handsome Oppa’s first drama appearance in three years.

But it started me down a road of recapping a lot of serious and serial-killer-centric shows. Except for the times when I’d beg for a break and tackle something lighter, I was generally assigned the darker mystery shows with meaty plots, since apparently I had a knack for condensing complicated shows into something that made sense. (Also literally darker, and I eventually learned to automatically brighten every screencap I posted. You’re welcome.)

Not only did I love working on something with Handsome Oppa, I also had fun recapping the start of what would eventually become OCN’s stock-in-trade -- creepy serial killers. At the time, Voice shattered OCN’s viewer ratings (which would then be shattered again and again as more people would tune in to OCN shows). But Voice really helped put OCN on the viewership map -- as well as catapult Handsome Oppa into the public eye and lead him to a path of getting to choose whatever script he wanted to work on.

(Okay, maybe I made that last bit up, but he did begin to garner a larger following and remind everyone that just because he was gone from dramaland for so long, he hadn’t lost his acting chops -- or charisma -- or cheekbones.)

Black (OCN)

Oh, this show. It was basically my whole life while it was airing (well, the non-day-job part of my life). Each episode was over an hour long and jam-packed full of details that were pertinent to the story, and I had to somehow condense that all into 3000 words or less (I was not always, ah, successful...). It felt like I was back in recapping bootcamp, but the dial had been turned up to 11.

I’m weirdly proud of what I produced (although you’ll never get me to reread my old work). It was one of the most challenging shows to work on, but in the good way, not the Trot Lovers way.

Until the ending, that is. Sigh. That ending will live in infamy. I still, to this day, will get a few comments on the finale from people who watched it on Netflix, went searching online for an explanation of the end, and then discovered that they were not alone in being confused by the utter wtf-ery of the last twenty minutes.

2018: Fighting For My Love

Misty (JTBC)

So, Dramabeans kind of disappeared for a few months. Well, the site was still live. There were a handful of recaps. But... it basically just... stopped.

Those of us on the other side know about as you do as to why that happened. Minions are kept in the dark just as much as anybody, it seems. All we knew is that we weren’t being assigned anything and we seriously wondered if the site was going under, since adsense has become worthless these days.

But Mary and I kept talking about how much we adored Misty and were sad that we couldn’t talk about it with the world (and convince them to watch it with us), so we pleaded and begged and got the go-ahead to do a kind of chatty “open thread” which has apparently been a spring-board format for other shows. We didn’t get paid for this, and we were totally fine with that. We just wanted to provide some kind of content (while swooning over Kim Nam-joo’s pantsuits!).

Let’s Eat 3 (tvN)

This was my first real assignment after the dead period, and I once again got to do full recaps (with pay!). I started watching, thinking I’d merely tolerate the show (since I loved the first season vastly more than the second season), but it turned out to be my favorite of the three. Plus it felt fortuitous that the series I had submitted my application would be a series I’d work on four years later.

Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with a character you met years ago, to see them grow, to see how they became what they became. Drama trends (and love interests) will come and go, but Goo Dae-young’s love of food (and love of explaining the proper way to eat food) will never change. It was a really comforting drama for me to spend my summer on, and I’ll remember it fondly, even if I’m forever sad that it had to suddenly wrap-up two episodes early.

2019: Ten Years Later

Item (MBC)

This was the Trot Lovers of 2019. It was a nonsensical disaster.

I also had the added chaos of my real-life job -- one very different from the one I had when I was working on Trot Lovers -- as it began to increase exponentially in responsibilities and in stress. I reached a breaking point where I began to hate opening my computer where I’d have to spend hours attempting to explain a show that I wanted nothing to do with. I was miserable and depressed and couldn’t do it anymore. I never before asked to be taken off a show because I hated it so much, but there’s a first for everything.

Her Private Life (tvN)

I actually haven’t finished this show -- I’ve yet to watch the last two episodes. But I’m including it because, well, I didn’t finish any other show in 2019 except for Item.

As some of you may know, this has been a difficult year. It started with the unexpected stress of my job, when we suddenly lost one of our directors who passed away, and another director was let go (in a complicated situation that is ongoing, but the important thing is that it was during our busiest time when we really couldn’t afford to lose anyone), and another director left for a different job and I was basically the one to pick up all the pieces she left behind. It was exhausting and we were all past the breaking point but somehow miraculously holding it together.

I was looking forward to finally getting a much-needed vacation in September, and then, well, you all know how that went: the first night, on our layover in New Zealand before what was supposed to be three weeks in Australia, my father was taken to the hospital, and then, two days later, he passed away. Life has gotten even more chaotic and stressful and bizarre since then.

So no, I haven’t finished this drama, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of the year for me, watching this fizzy rom-com with my favorite actor, where he got to be charming and handsome and charismatic and finally kiss the girl he loves and have her love him back (and not die or be dumped, as he had been in so many dramas that had gone before). Lion Oppa was everything my heart could desire, and living in his world helped me endure the insanity that I wish I’d known would seem so much more tolerable than what would eventually befall.

Her Private Life reminded me of when I first fell in love with dramas ten years ago, when I would giggle and be delighted by the charming nonsense on screen -- of beautiful people falling in love and fighting against the obstacles between them (some more ridiculous than others, perhaps, but there are always obstacles), and ending up happily ever after. Pure escapism, of the frothiest kind.

A Drama-filled Decade

So, after ten years of dramas, what is the takeaway? What have I learned?

I suppose I’ve learned to trust my instincts and put more faith in writers and directors than actors. That analyzing dramas is fun, and it’s even more fun sharing it with others, and sometimes even more fun if you get paid to do it -- but everyone eventually reaches a breaking point. That I’m too earnest and optimistic to embrace a life of snark. That I want every drama to be good but most of them aren’t, except sometimes they are. That I’m not even sure which genres are my favorite; I just know what I don’t like.

That dramas are best as escapism, and not as work.

I don’t know how many dramas I’ll watch in 2020. I haven’t paid any attention to what’s airing, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps I’m entering a new phase in my life, or perhaps I just don’t have the capacity to escape right now.

But I am pleased to have had dramas in my life, and to have eventually made them my hobby. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and made some genuine friends through a shared love of dramas (or, at times, a shared hatred). I’m honored that all of you are still here and following me, even during this period of fandom silence.

May 2020 treat us all better, and may Kim Do-woo finally write another script.

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applekitty · 4 years

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things that happened with me in the past 7 years

i feel guilty so i want to post this. it’s basically a confession post abt stuff i’ve done, stuff that’s happened to me, and general rumination on how my actions have affected people.

transparency is the thing i value most, and now that i’m comfortable to share with you guys my age, i think it’s important i share these things too.

keep in mind my memory’s a little foggy on dates so i can mostly only give approximations

content warning for MANY mentions of rape, grooming, mlp porn, and one passing mention on transphobic genderbend content. also idk if counts as it or not but just to be safe??? csa, bc it happened when i was a kid

there’s a tl;dr at the end, please at the very least read that before sending me any asks about this post

i got my iphone 4s when i was late into being 12 years old, in preparation for 7th grade. my mom thought it was time for me to get a phone so she could text me if she needed to. so, i got a way to access social media. by the time grade 7 had begun, i’d gotten this thing called ‘virtual space’. you may better know this as ‘amino’ nowadays. but back in the day, there was only one. virtual space.

virtual space (2012-2013/14?)

this was an rp media app with the ability to add posts and add pictures. i didnt know about tumblr or really anything outside of facebook at the time, so virtual space was my main social media. i only have one person who i still talk to from my times in virtual space, and i think it’s safe to say both of us do not want to remember our time there.

virtual space was a very toxic place to be, and i was one of the most toxic people on there. i was very much an elitist, a grammar nazi, and all the worst of the worst. i was very snooty and very much up my own ass. i traced art, i pretended to be a scholar.

i was nice enough to some people, but all in all, i saw myself as superior because i was ‘literate’ and others were ‘illiterate’. people who were unable to spell or write out long paragraphs like i was were seen as lesser by me, and i considered virtual space a place to assert my authority as the best writer. thanks to virtual space, i had dedicated myself to learning words, improving my writing ability, and dressing up my things with such elaborate purple prose that it’d make future me snore and die.

i did a ton of regrettable things (such as pretending i was a guy who’d gotten into a car accident purely for attention) while i was on my superiority spree.

there, on virtual space, i found out about my little pony. the first thing i ever saw from the show was the flim flam brothers song. and i loved it. so i got into mlp, starting rping in mlp things alongside the normal fandomless things.

on virtual space, people would often rip things off tumblr to put into vs. this is where i learned of tumblr. i moved off of vs and moved onto tumblr. subsequently, it’s also where i got fully into mlp.

tumblr (2013-now)

on tumblr there’s not much i can’t say that isn’t talked about in the below parts. i do want to say, though, that there was a time in my life wherein i was following and reblogging rebornica content. they reblogged some.. questionable things that i think contributed to the below stuff. just slightly, but not a bunch. btw if you do go into there you may see some of the stuff rebornica reblogged, including a thing about genderbends? know that this is my opinion on genderbends lol

mlp (2012-2015)

when i first got into mlp, it was before the season 3 premiere. during that time, i was still on vs, but i switched over to tumblr i believe after the announcements and trailers for rainbow rocks came out.

mlp ask blogs were very nice on the surface, but things like ask molestia, or ask discord whooves quickly were put into my youtube recommends. they were some of the most popular ask blogs, things that got praised; humiliation, rape, and molestation. those are the things that got you follows, those are the things that got you popular. i wanted to be popular. i was popular on vs, so i want to be here too.

if you know anything about the mlp community, there’s a reason why for that. porn is incredibly saturated in mlp, and there is a lot of rape content permeating the internet. if you need proof, just go ahead and find out what ‘fall of equestria’ is. that’s a popular au. and it’s no secret that rape is all over places like fimfiction.

~lewd mlp comic dubs~ in general were on youtube as well. they weren’t as much as a contributing factor, but their simple BEING THERE normalized the concept of ‘lewd being acceptable and beneficial for me to benefit off of’ into my mind. it was a gateway into what would further come.

mlp was my first introduction to explicit content. i was 12. it was untagged.

i opened up a multitude of ask blogs before i settled on my longest; ask shy sombra. this blog was trying to claim the fame of a inactive blog called asksissysombra. sissy sombra was an explicitly nsfw blog with rape fetishization. the blog is still up and not hidden by tumblr’s nsfw detector, nor deleted. it regularly clocked 200 notes a post.

ask shy sombra was exactly like asksissysombra, though much more tame. the rape fetishization was used in such a way where it was entirely offscreen, and fairly vague. though, with specific follower milestones, i would draw semi-lewd drawings hinting at rape, and get notes for it. thankfully, the blog didn’t get far enough into its plot (as i restarted it a total of four times) to get to the parts wherein rape was around. i made ask shy sombra when i was.. i know in eighth grade. i think a little late into eighth grade. so i’d be 14.

ask shy sombra was my most popular blog, and garnered me about 1.5k followers over a 2(?) year run. this only encouraged me to produce more content. to get more followers. naturally, this fostered in my literal child brain that this disgusting content is a good thing to make because look at all the rewards its giving me.

i would draw a lot of things purely for the edge on this ask shy sombra, and treat serious topics like things to shock people. i was surrounded by people who’d praise me and draw fanart for me. i was collecting a fanbase by making extraordinarily shitty content. wasn’t even well drawn either, lol.

i was drawing all this because i felt like i was mature and edgy for doing so, that by being dark i was better than others, that i had more substance, and that people would take me seriously.

after a while, i made myself a nsfw blog. lots of other mlp ask blogs, aka basically all of them, had nsfw blogs. so, i got myself one. i produced almost exclusively rape content, both drawings and writings. i wanted to be even more edgy, and this was a place i could do it raw, uncensored. i could unleash true horror here, on a nsfw blog. it was so shocking, so awful! isn’t that what the mlp fandom is about? being twisted and fucked up and evil on sideblogs, making awful content to go ‘ooh how edgy’ at? nothing was barred. i was 14, maybe early into 15.

i knew (aka followed, because there was a whole underground mlp nsfw community) other people, who were significantly older, for their rape content as well. and there were lots of people to choose from. one i remember (even by url) drew horrifying depictions of rape in a painterly style. there were two others i remember the style of, but not the names. these three were my introduction to guro, which thankfully i did not indulge in.

i wasn’t very active on my nsfw blog, at least. when i was, i was only there in bursts and never made anything too bad if i can remember right. most of it was just.. lewd faces or whatever. my art wasn’t good enough to get lots of reblogs in the porn sphere, thank GOD. i mass-deleted the content on that blog three times before i deleted the blog itself and never tried again. i never did like that nsfw blog.

unrelated, but i think the reason why rape as a concept in the mlp fandom is so wide spread, is because the fandom had mass produced it as a replacement for rough sex. it was just a more ‘erotic’ version of rough sex to them. a more intense version of sex, wherein tears and screams to stop were actually just lies, these creatures secretly were pleasured.

and, for people like me, it’s a good way to be the edgiest kid on the block. the more edgy you were in mlp, the more followers you were bound to get. the more attention you got. and it worked. i got so much attention.

on christmas of 2015, i stepped away from mlp for good.

in 2016, i deleted everything on ask shy sombra, (except for the follower milestones), and moved on.

psmd (2015-2017)

psmd was my new target. psmd was a lot more quiet. i hadn’t done much with psmd in comparison to mlp, as i kept most of my explicit content private. however, as some of my mutuals back in psmd would tell you, rape was not a thing i strayed from talking about here either.

leftovers from my time in mlp, sure enough, rape was in psmd as well. thankfully, it was not public, with only a select few having access to it. no one reprimanded me for it. i don’t blame them for not scolding me. what are you supposed to do to something like that? it’s nerve racking and disgusting and you just want to side-eye it and leave it alone. especially since i was most of these people’s friends.

‘private’ is a hard word to call the rape content i made for that one. because psmd’s fandom was very very, very small. there was one specific server for it with like. 15 people at most on it at one time. either way, i was making rape content for the same reason; to be the edgiest kid on the block. if you knew anything about my extraordinarily edgy psmd au, you’ll know i went all out on edge. just like with ask shy sombra, the attention-seeking for the au and the desire to get eyes on content went to the worst bottom denominator. it never went to children or whatever, though.

making rape content actually wasn’t the main thing bad i did while in that fandom, no. mostly bc it was all decently private.

i was in the pokemon ask blog community for a short while. while i was there, i was an elitist and sort of a snob. i projected my insecurity onto the bigger blogs around me, simply because i wasn’t getting the attention i thought i deserved. in mlp, it was so easy to get followers. here? not so much. i wasn’t happy about people ‘suddenly ignoring me’, so i lashed out at the community.

people who were just having fun for the sake of having fun, i didn’t like those guys! nuh uh! anyways, i sealed myself off to my small community of psmd people until i eventually decided to leave psmd for kirby in the summer of 2017. that was when i’d watched the original pilot for the kirby anime.

kirby (late 2017-now)

kirby is currently the fandom i’m in. thanks to me squishing myself into the box of ‘make this worthy of being shown on 4kids as content’, i have solidified my content. though some of it, such as my old galacta work, zero percent chill, are a little eh and show remnants of who i once was.

i’ve had a rocky transition period, however, and some individuals can attest to that, unfortunately.

i’m glad i’ve been able to try to cope with my fandom-inflicted grooming. certain events and people have gotten me to really think about morality and my actions in the past, as well as about writing and the things they may teach people.

conclusion

amino taught me that being popular and the best was the most important thing.

mlp taught me creating rape content was not only okay to produce in the most shock-factory way, but it got you popular, which is all i wanted in my 13 year old brain.

psmd taught me that people will not object to rape content— but they will pretend you and your edgy bullshit doesn’t exist. certain things are excluded from that, like one particular fic. while it’s gone now, it did exist. people knew it existed.

kirby taught me to sit down, shut the fuck up, and stop that shit. no one sat me down for it, i did it myself.

getting a few more years on me helped, lol

everyday im super duper thankful i was never groomed further past that into making incest or making pedophilic content. i’m also thankful that i got out of mlp. that my content never got truly popular in psmd. i’m thankful my grooming never got taken advantage of by any specific, older individual. i’m thankful my grooming wasn’t directly from an actual person who could’ve gotten me deeper into the mindset, wherein it’d be harder for me to get out of it.

my actions in mlp and psmd have undoubtably groomed people in the process, and for that, i’ll be eternally sorry. if you knew me during that time, with my shitty edgy-for-attention aus, sorry.

tl;dr:

when i was in the mlp fandom, i wanted to be popular and quick. i noted the most easy way to get popular, get comic dubs, get that Cool Praise, was to be edgy. and, ontop of that, one can also add in a layer of sexual assault for extra Brony Praise.

i didn’t stop to think of why things like rape or sexual assault was so massed produced in the fandom, and i don’t think i cared either. i knew rape was bad and a disgusting and terrible act and it scared me thinking about it happening to me (because im a girl lmao), so i’d write it up as a hyper-angsty thing. oohh the angst, oh how sad, look at how horrible it is, this totally isn’t stroking a huuuugeee unnecessary angstboner for a EXTRAORDINARILY delicate REAL WORLD topic at all!! totally not disrespectful to ACTUAL VICTIMS at all!!!! not that it mattered how it was written up, certain people in the fandom liked it more when things were horrible, awful, and disgustingly violent or ‘egregiously angsty’ in regards to rape. rape and its ‘angsty’ content was normalized to me when, at bare minimum, i was 13.

i ended up making rape-related extremely edgy content in the mlp fandom and i got a lot of followers. 1.5k followers. i used the shock of offscreen rape as a way to.. well, shock people. and make a horrifying story that i wanted attention towards. the praise I got for being edgy and making rape content groomed me into creating more. being groomed by no one inparticular into making this content, but by a fandom, by the sheer amount of rape content and general porn being paraded around, that really fucked me up.

when i was 15 (going on 16 in half a year), i transferred this mentality into other fandoms, trying to be the most edgy and shocking by using the actions of rape and sexual violence or even sexual trafficking as my vehicle of angst without thinking of what the writing of these subjects in such a way may say about me as a person. i didn’t care about that, i wanted to be the darkest, most edgy, most brooding. and I was, and I got mad when I didn’t get the 1.5k followers worth of attention that the mlp fandom was so willing to give me.

when i was 17, i transferred to kirby. and that’s when i realized all this edge-for-the-sake-of-edge bullshit needed to stop. i’d almost taken my extreme edge to kirby as well, but i doubled down on myself and quit that shit. thank god that i did that. i strickened myself to write g-related content with only minor, more moderate amounts of edge.

i’m now 20. i’m hypercritical of people who do the same things i did when i was younger, because hyperedge shit like the stuff i created makes me feel disgusting thinking back on it. i know i most likely groomed people into doing the exact same shit that i’d done with my presence, especially in the mlp fandom. and for everything i did, all the extremely insensitive content i made when i was younger, sorry.

i wanted to be transparent about this, and it’s important to me to be so. cards out on the table and such. if you feel uncomfortable about this new info and the things i did to get attention when i was younger, that’s completely understandable. feel free to unfollow / block me if that makes you more comfortable on this platform, even if we’re mutuals or friends.

#feels bad man #important #im probably asleep rn (this post is scheduled) so if you wanna send asks or dms about this i'll answer them in a bit lol #this is very much a confession post. i want to get all this shit off my chest #theese is. my experiences. my actions #my anxiety says i NEED to talk about this and confess all of this so thats what im doing

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