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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin

this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies

BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!

FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what?

BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!

FRANK: You mean caramel?

BARNABY: That’s what I said.

FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.

BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.

FRANK: We absolutely are not!

JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.

BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!

FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?

JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!

FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?

WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.

FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?

BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!

FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!

BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!

FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-

[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen]

FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!

EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time?

BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?

EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?

FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!

SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?

FRANK: AGH!

BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!

SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!

FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!

BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.

JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies!

SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.

FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny.

EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s…

[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]

EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!

[Frank makes an affronted noise]

FRANK: Poppy will see sense.

POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-

FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.

EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you.

POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?

BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!

SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!

POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -

SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy.

POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.

[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]

WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…

POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.

FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!

JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!

BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they!

POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?

[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]

JULIE: Oop, there he goes!

POPPY: Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.

BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.

WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…

POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes.

SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.

POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-

BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.

FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.

BARNABY: Talk about a bias…

[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]

FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-

[Home slowly shuts their curtains]

FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.

WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.

BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.

JULIE: They did not!

BARNABY: Looked like it to me!

SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!

JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!

FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-

JULIE: Us!

FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up.

BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.

[store bell chimes]

HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?

BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!

FRANK: We have important business.

HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical.

FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?

EDDIE: If I would what?

SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?

EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.

[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop]

HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.

BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?

[Frank mutters something inaudible]

BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!

FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere!

EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…

JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank!

[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]

HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?

BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.

HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-

[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]

FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?

BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…

SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.

EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh?

HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.

FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.

HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.

[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]

HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched!

WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.

[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]

[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]

#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic #didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine #anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me #i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways!#and for the record! im team carmul #well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul #always have always will dont know why dont know how #my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3 #its fuckin carmul to me. To Me.#i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey #if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point #yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog #oh fuck it we'll stay on theme #snippets from the bog #yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like.#checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while #and im slightly terrified to post!#its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker #and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting!#my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying #i hope this gives someone a laugh!#or at least a hearty Chortle #or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes

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cuties-in-codices · 9 months

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st. francis receiving the stigmata

in the "buch der heiligen dreifaltigkeit" ("book of the holy trinity"), alchemistic illuminated manuscript, bavaria, late 15th c.

source: Munich, Staatsbibliothek, Cgm 598, fol. 166v

#love how it looks like jesus is exuding laser beams #some interesting context about the book from wikipedia:#The treatise describes the alchemical process in terms of Christian mythology. The theme of the book is the analogy of the passion #death and resurrection of the Christ with the alchemical process leading to the lapis philosophorum.#The text is one of the most important alchemical works of late medieval Germany.#15th century #alchemy #st francis #christian iconography #stigmatization #medieval art #illuminated manuscripts #saints #wounds

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ducktracy · 7 months

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Rewatched Book Revue and can feel the fanaticism I once (and still do!) held for it dripping back into my bloodstream as I find myself mindlessly redrawing poses from the model sheet in MS Paint

#i need you guys to understand that Danny Kaye Daffy was my Duck Twacy. in a way he is why i have my current icon. a screenshot #of him was my icon and December was approaching so i wanted to make it festive but poorly drawing a Santa suit on it yielded awful results #so i drew myself an icon very synonymous to this one. then redrew it the next year. then drew this one like 5 months after that to match th #style #i was doing studies of DANNY KAYE. THE PERSON. I MADE A BOOK REVUE THEMED PIECE FOR MY ART FINAL!!!#i've always loved it but got burnt out a bit because it was like every day obsessing and now i'm reminded why i was obsessed!#lt #looney tunes #daffy duck #not bad for a guy that never took a lesson in his life!

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markantonys · 7 months

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the way people go "well, if RAND needs his friends to succeed, then how come the same doesn't apply to egwene, how come she was able to free herself?" as if it's utterly incomprehensible that two different characters might be undergoing two different arcs/learning two different lessons.

rand spent the whole season isolating himself, so he needed a climactic moment of seeing that he's stronger when his friends are supporting him.

egwene spent the whole season feeling inferior/incapable/not good enough and then being enslaved and controlled, and of having other people dictate to her how powerful she is or isn't, so she needed a climactic moment of taking back her autonomy and understanding her own power on her own terms.

this isn't to say that the book version where rand fights ishy alone and egwene is rescued by nynaeve and elayne is bad. it also isn't to say that rand and egwene didn't have many thematic parallels in their journeys this season (egwene also deals with themes of isolation, and rand with themes of power & control). but in my opinion, the Cores of their series-long arcs were different enough that there's nothing at all inconsistent or thematically wonky about them getting two different narrative treatments in the finale.

(also, as others have pointed out, TGH is a really meaty book for egwene but she has relatively little to do in TSR, whereas rand is kind of slowburning in the first 3 books but his arc kicks into high gear in TSR, so it makes total sense to give egwene the biggest moments of the s2 finale because she'll take more of a backseat in s3 while rand comes to greater prominence.)

#like sure i can understand one's gut reaction being 'but why doesn't the Power Of Friendship theme apply to egwene's escape?!'#but if you actually sit down and think about the fact that they're 2 different characters who've been on 2 different journeys this season #it does make sense that their Climactic Moments are thematically different #rand al'thor #egwene al'vere #wot #wot on prime #the wheel of time #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers #(just vague ones)

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sickly-victorian-boy · 2 years

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Last year, when looking through the offerings on the shelf of free books in my college’s library, I happened upon this gem:

I then promptly forgot about it until now, when I rediscovered it while unpacking the boxes I neglected to attend to before. yknow. the literal week before the semester starts.

Regardless, it is simultaneously so much better and so much worse than I ever could have hoped for. It contains instructions for the creation of lovely decor for any wizard tower, and while clearly intended for children, I will absolutely be making some of these myself, in part because I’m pretty sure obtaining this tome put some kind of curse on me and unleashing them upon the world is the only way to avoid getting sent to a hell dimension. Some of the treasures detailed herein include:

SOCK DRAGON FROM HELL

CHALICE OF HIGH CAMP

THE STRANGLING ORBS

and finally, my favorite, a self-proclaimed thing of beauty:

BALL STEALING DRAGON.

Are any of these items functional things that I genuinely need to use? Hell no. Are they things that could generally be considered “in good taste?” Hell no. Will my life be noticeably improved by making them? HELL YEAH. Also, I’m pretty sure that if I don’t make the sock dragon a physical form it’s going to peel itself off of the pages of the book and start haunting me.

Anyway, if anyone else has fond memories of low-quality themed children’s craft books from the early 2000s, is in dire need of some new decorations for their wizardly lair, or just generally wants to make any of this shit, let me know and I can DM you the full instructions!

#also there’s some kind of weird story trying to tie everything together which seems like it was a common theme in craft books from that era #or at least it was common in the ones I had #but I digress #wizard #wizards #wizardposting #wizardcore

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grumpyoldsnake · 5 months

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So I've been saying for years that the Discworld series (by Sir Terry Pratchett) and the Vorkosigan Saga (by Lois McMaster Bujold) share several of the same thematic bones

But I never go into specifics

So! For tonight! I will present one case among many.

The Wee Free Men and The Mountains of Mourning

It's about taking action because these people are yours and you have a duty. It's about speaking up for those with no voices of their own. It's about saying, sure, maybe your motivation is selfish, but the impact of your actions sure as hell is not going to be. It's about finding a center to which you can return, when the challenges you face nearly undermine your purpose.

It's about someone who died, and whose memory you refuse to betray.

#discworld #the vorkosigan saga #the mountains of mourning #terry pratchett #lois mcmaster bujold #the wee free men #(Disclaimer: it's been a few years since I read either of these stories ffff.)#anyway if you like the themes of one series and haven't read the other #go read the other :P #book recs

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nightswatchdisbandmentera · 10 months

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We as a fandom don’t talk enough about how Game of Thrones decided to combine Jon Snow and Young Griff into one character and how that was absolutely ridiculous on like 1000 different levels. Because how do you combine two characters who are FOILS to one another and then play it completely straight?! Then to make matters worse they gave Jon the boy’s stupid name?! Goddamnit I knew they didn’t get Jon as a character pretty early on, but why mesh his arc with the one guy you shouldn’t combine with? 😭

#top 3 greatest got crimes I fear #talk about understanding neither character #like Aegon is there to serve as a foil to Jon and inform on a lot of the tropes grrm is deconstructing with Jon’s arc #you can’t make them the same character because you completely miss the whole point #also remember when they combined jon and stannis?#like people acknowledge that and are like yeah fine what ever but like….#am I the only one who also freaking HATES that?!?#because Jon and Stannis are anti-parallels you CANT DO THAT #without completely ruining Jon’s arc #like idc if it ruins stannis’ plot line but I care about Jon because he’s one of the central/main characters!!!#you can’t combine his story line with more minor characters who are meant to serve as foils to him #but what else can I expect from the themes are for eighth grade book reports brigade #jon snow #aegon vi targaryen #young griff #asoiaf #game of thrones

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lunarharp · 5 months

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Very important conferences.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #some real serious discussions goin on in this atelier today. dont u doubt it.#agott is the only one who has ever thought about this because she is a 12 year old lesbian and UMM..FRIEND? LIKE FRIEND? IS THAT..LEGAL???#this is all i drew today because silly things like this take hours lol. at least it's practice for poses -_-#i got the pattern of the girls' dresses wrong but i couldn't be bothered to change halfway through.#don't worry if you're like what is the naakiwan downs. is that name even mentioned in the main manga #ANYWAY i KEEP thinking about what if it's actually banned for professors and watchful eyes to date like that would make a lot of sense.#like maybe it should be banned. SO??? are they just low-key Aware of what the deal is and they're just Putting their feelings aside #until graduation??? take my tassel as an unspoken reminder of how i feel?? living together trial period?? this feels like it's truly it #When we're free to be together........ Sensei loves homophobia parallels without there actually being homophobia #Let's invent reasons why men cant be together. Ummm well whatever. i'm screaming in my head but it's fine.#this will probably form the theme of my orufrey for a while. i've thought of this before but for some reason today it's big for me.#i guess the tassels might not specifically be a part of that since they exchanged them before tower of books #and qifrey made his mysterious decision to be a teacher after that and..well whatever. I need more of backstory and just..everything?#But i also don't mind when vinanna interrupts my wishes with just a chapter of just being really dreamy? I love witch hat?

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r0semultiverse · 17 days

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Was Celia drunk as fuck or is this something supernatural?? 👀

Who the fuck is Jack?? 👀

Alice is such a delight, I love her!

Oof so one or both of them have trauma involving grandparents then.

I love Samama & Alice so much. 💜 They have a great dynamic!

Oh shit, right, Gwen is probably still getting over Mr. Bonzo too. 👀

"I just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me."

Please don't take away Alice, she's one of my faves! I hope this post doesn't age poorly. Watch me have to quote this post very soon.

OH NO, is it that [ERROR] following her??? 😰

"Don’t joke about that, mate. I was dreaming about it all day." Okay, yeah, that's a creature.

Sam & Alice are both about to run into a creature... 👀

"Classifying unspeakable horrors all night for no discernible reason?" @/entities-of-posts & @/which-entity-this-post-serves is that you? :]

Hmm, now why is this episode called "marked?" I assumed Mr. Bonzo was gonna find his mark, but maybe Alice is marked by an entity/creature that was locked in the Magnus Institute?

"giving up the ghost" okay so someone saw an apparition? Honestly not sure what entity this episode is about so far.

It's giving The Corruption ✨🧟‍♀️⚰️ (maybe The Buried)

"It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been." 👀👀👀

This thing is about to jump out of the grave & run off, isn't it? 🏃‍♂️

"The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon." Peter Lukas?!?!?

Oh 100% The Buried, without a shadow of a doubt.

Lots of tattoo & carvings in walls imagery in this sequel prequel sidequel, isn't there? 👀

Hey wait, that's Ink5oul from episode 2, isn't it? 👀 Ink5oul definitely feels like a conduit or vessel for The Flesh or some other kind of entity.

Okay, there's something weird going on with this place, the salt water & waves near this cemetery are kind of seemingly enticing them to come drown in it's waters. In the very least it's messing with these guys' mental states! Pretty freakkyyyy! 👀🌊

Also the repeated emphasis on dreams is interesting this episode, wonder if that'll play a part in something later on. 👀👀

"If it’s any consolation, he’s with the sea now. The deep will care for his bones." I literally called it!!

I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊

I don't know, Gordie, I think you did it! Unless Ink5oul is collecting tattoos like an alternate universe version of the Leitner books. Wait yeah, what if the tattoos are like conduits for the entities of this world or even the original one? 🖌

Another way to look at this is asking... Is The Deep a new entity/fear or is it a servant of a fear like The Vast? I stg there was a colossal water monster at some point in The Magnus Archives!

Okay so yeah, there's already a precedent for this. Also feels like The Lonely, The Buried, The Corruption, The Vast, & maybe even The Flesh are all involved in this one though I don't know if Flesh (Ink5oul) is working with or against the other fears at this time.

Gwen, you can tell your coworkers what's wrong, oh my fucking god. Please. Celia, you have me so invested in whatever is going on with you.

Weird unexplained noise at 17:44 too as Celia enters the office. Wonder what that's all about, maybe it'll come up later on.

"He is one of our Externals." Okay; so, there's more of them & they have their own secret hitman title too!

Mr. Bonzo when he was on TV

"And they usually like it." I bet fear creatures do like it when you scream. That makes a lot of sense actually.

Also what's that weird "boowomp" noise as they're talking or is it just the OST? 👀

Is Gwen going to be turned into something not quite human at some point? Just throwing darts at a board with that speculation, but wouldn't that be wild?

Okay; so, these little digitized noises are absolutely important!

I wonder how many times & when people have lied so far throughout this season. 👁️👁️

#someone should draw those two ( sam & alice ) in the style of that show at this rate. I have more questions every week i stg #is mr. bonzo gonna find his mark or is Alice dyer marked by [ERROR] place your bets!#okay so themes of coffins; decay; & rotting things; feels like the corruption or maybe even the buried #I stg if that weirdly aged guy is Peter Lukas somehow I'm gonna scream; it's an AU; anything can happen #Love seeing Ink5oul again; it's cool that they aren't just a one off character & are getting involved in the greater story #leitner tattoos canon??? maybe?? is this the equivalent of jurgen leitner books?? perhaps #the big water monster is giving The Vast energy; a lot of these feel like fear entities collaborating in this world #now I'm curious who the other externals are... is ink5oul one of them? They seemed to delight in reactions.#is this government organization called the magnus institute or what do they call themselves now? also who is mr bonzo after?#I wonder if the black ops guys that showed up to that charity place on hilltop were a counter organization or the government?#mine #op #tmagp liveblog #tmagp 11 #tmagp spoilers #tma spoilers #tma #tmagp #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol

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