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richiekirschs · 11 months

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SHE’S MY BABY — Spider-Man!Lottie Matthews

spider-boy, king of thieves…

warnings— no use of y/n, fem implied reader (referred to as “unsuspecting girl”), lottie is vaguely hurt

[part 2]

The Yellowjackets had been spreading their theories about Spider-Man since he was first spotted in New York, just across the river.

It was surprisingly Misty who came up with the theory that he was actually from Jersey City, after how many times he’d been spotted on the ferry that takes you across the Hudson from Midtown. Nat had disagreed, stating that he was probably in Jersey City so often because of the amount of freaks patrolling the streets.

Most of your teammates think it’s stupid—with Jackie saying it’s just some asshole trying to get on Subway Creatures, and Tai saying the guy in the suit just wants to piss off J. Jonah Jameson. Laura Lee thinks he’s devilish. Nat indulges in the fantasies after having witnessed one of Spider-Man’s fights firsthand (and also because she likes to piss off Jackie.)

The girls are all over at your apartment tonight for the regularly scheduled movie night. Everyone takes turns— last time it was Tai, and now it was you.

You’re in the bathroom washing your hands when there’s a THUD! from the fire escape outside the bathroom window.

You frown, wondering if you should check. Is it your neighbors, smoking a blunt? Or is there maybe a cat that needs help?

You yank up the blinds to check, deciding it’s better to know than risk it distracting you the rest of the night.

It’s not your neighbors, and it’s definitely not a stray cat.

It’s Spider-Man.

You can’t do much but freeze and mumble, “You’re shitting me.”

He stares back at you with comically wide, unblinking eyes. He points at the windowsill and mimes pushing it up before silently pleading with his hands.

You sigh. Of course this would happen. All you can do as you unlock the window is pray that it’s actually Spider-Man, and not some douche in a costume looking to take advantage of an unsuspecting girl.

You push the window up and he tumbles to the ground of the bathroom, somehow remaining inhumanly quiet.

In the process, though, he aggressively knocks a (glass) bottle of perfume off of the counter.

“Shit!” you hiss.

“Are you okay?” someone calls. Maybe Nat? It definitely could’ve been Van.

“Yeah!” you call before turning back to the masked vigilante. “You have 30 seconds to explain yourself.”

Spider-Man holds up a finger, chest heaving, before reaching up under his mask and yanking it off.

It’s not a man at all. It’s Lottie, your best friend who was conveniently missing from tonight’s get-together.

Your jaw drops. “What the f—?”

You don’t get the chance to finish your exclamation as she bolts up to clamp a hand over your mouth. “Shh!”

You frown back at her, trying to convey your emotion with your eyes.

“I’ll explain, I promise,” she assures you. “But I’m hurt. I just got my ass kicked. I need you to help me, but you can’t tell the others.”

You don’t respond. Her hand is still over your mouth.

“Promise me!” she hisses, begging.

You nod frantically, and she slowly removes her hand. “I can’t believe you’re a girl. I was betting major money with Nat that Spider-Man was Jeff Sadecki.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “Jesus Christ. Are you going to help me or not?”

“I can’t do that if you don’t tell me where you’re hurt!”

She swallows, unable to meet your eyes. “Under my suit.”

You sigh at her. “Can you stand?”

“I think so.” She manages to stumble to her feet, and you help her unzip the suit, both of you flushed bright red.

“Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, Lot,” you tease as she collapses onto the closed toilet. “We’ve changed in front of each other a billion times.”

“These aren’t ideal circumstances,” she groans.

Her wound isn’t too bad, but it probably hurts like a bitch. Sliced across her leg, the cut slowly oozes blood. Her knuckles are scraped up, too. There’s already green-yellow bruises forming around both wounds.

“It’s not awful,” you assure her. “They just need to be cleaned and get bandaged.”

You dig out isopropyl alcohol and a rag before a apologizing for the pain you’re about to cause her.

She whimpers as you clean the gash on her leg and wrap gauze around it, and you have to pray that she doesn’t see the way your face burns.

Someone rattles the door handle. “Are you still in there?”

Laura Lee. With a start, you realize you didn’t lock the door.

You and Lottie lock wide eyes with each other before you’re yanking her up and shoving her into the shower. She shoots a web to seal the curtain to the wall, tucking herself behind it.

The door swings open, and Laura Lee peers around from behind it. “Hey, we were thinking about ordering pizza—is that your blood?”

You look down at your hands, but it’s not yours. It’s Lottie’s, from where you had wiped it from her leg. You need to think of a lie, and quick.

“Oh,” you shrug in a hopefully nonchalant manner. “My nose started bleeding, and I put my hand over it while I got the rag.”

Laura Lee, of course, steps in to investigate. “Did it stop? We should say a prayer.”

You gently swat her prodding hands away. “Yeah, I’m fine. It stopped. I just didn’t get the chance to wash my hands.”

“Really,” Laura Lee insists. “We should say a prayer. This could be a sign of something.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, “of a ruptured blood vessel.”

You indulge in Laura Lee’s plead anyway, and pray that Lottie can resist her urges to laugh during Laura Lee’s prayer like she always does.

Lottie knows she doesn’t have much time.

She carefully slides the suit back on before slipping out of the very window she’d come through. From there, she makes a Pink Panther-esque getaway a few feet away from that window to the one that leads to your bedroom.

She carefully slides the bedroom window shut before flinging open a dresser drawer in hopes for some clean clothes. She digs out a Kean University pullover and plaid pajama pants. It’ll have to do.

She stashes the suit in the spot that she’d swiped the clothes from, and just as she shuts the drawer, she freezes. Someone’s coming.

There’s nowhere to hide. Your bed sits atop a wooden bed frame, meaning she won’t—can’t—fit underneath. Your closet isn’t big enough either. That only leaves…

When Nat swings the door open, she completely expects to find someone in a striped shirt with a sack of money over their shoulder. Something is being very noisy in your room, and she’s intrigued to know what could possibly be causing such a ruckus.

Instead, she finds… nothing.

She checks under your bed, even though nobody besides a small child could fit between the planks of your bed frame. She checks your closet. Hell, she checks the fire escape.

Nothing.

“Hm,” she decides, but there’s something… not right. There’s an itch under her skin that won’t go away.

When Nat leaves, Lottie can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

She carefully lets herself down from the ceiling with a breath of, “Holy shit,” and a hand pressed to her chest.

There’s still work left to be done, though.

Quietly this time, she swings back out onto the fire escape.

There’s a knock on your front door, and you frown. Everybody’s here, and Misty didn’t say that they had already ordered the pizza, just that they were thinking about it.

You quickly rinse your hands of Lottie’s red blood before following Misty to the door.

Low and behold, the new guest is Lottie fucking Matthews.

You feign surprise at the sight of her. “Hey, I thought you weren’t coming!”

She walks over to you, arms open wide, limping ever so slightly as she engulfs you in a hug. “It’s a long story.”

Through a faux grin, you growl, “Tomorrow, we’re going to get coffee, and you’re going to explain everything.”

“Deal.”

KITTY MEOWS! I kept seeing Spider!Lottie edits on TikTok and there was an itch in my bones that could only be satisfied by writing this…

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flowerbxuquet · 9 months

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Unspoken promises

Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

A/N: AHHH guys lottie’s just my scared pookie stop ALSO THIS IS NOT SHAUNA SLANDER. I haven’t rewatched the show in a while so some info could be inaccurate

WARNINGS: reference to miscarriages, blood, bruises, cuts, just mentions of violence but no actual writing about it. (I didn’t proof read this)

Lottie Matthews eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the blurry haze in her vision, smelling the familiar wood and fire of the cabin, she could feel her painful swollen face and the feeling of the sleeping bag she was on.

Lottie went to go sit up, wincing in pain and gasping out in shock, pain shooting up her body as a reminder of the earlier confrontation from Shauna. A soft voice quickly fills her ears and a pair of arms support her so she doesn’t fall and hurt herself.

“Y/n.” Lottie’s gravelly voice comes out as her gaze is still blurry but she can barely make out the colors and your face shape in her line of sight, her hand shakily reaching out to cup your soft cheek.

You were her rock in this whole situation, Lottie had been a bit distant lately, even before the Shauna situation. The cannibalism and the death of her former love, Laura Lee, was quickly ripped away from her when she acknowledged her feelings and she was scared the same would occur with you, but even though you were still so kind to her.

You showed genuine care that no one besides Laura ever really did, her heart would clench at every kind gesture, she wasn’t used to affection. Lottie’s parents made sure to give her everything but that growing up and she was so starved of any sort of love.

You take a deep breathe, taking Lottie’s hand that’s on your face and holding it tightly, you were so scared Lottie was going to die and you’ve just now realized how deeply you cared for the girl, a sense of love in your heart.

“I was so worried about you. Why did you do that?” You whisper softly to her, holding her hand tightly but not tight enough to hurt the wounds on her hand.

Lottie take a deep breathe, she knows exactly why she did it, Lottie knows the pain that Shauna had, losing not only one person but two that were so deeply important to her. Lottie remembers when she just wanted to kill and scream at someone after the plane exploded when Laura Lee died.

Lottie only wished the best for everyone, she wanted to give Shauna the experience she wished she had.

“Shauna needed it and we all know that.” Is all that Lottie says, her voice is sore from being asleep for so long and you remember that you have a cup of water with you and you gently lift it to her lips, letting the water fall between her cracked and bruised lips.

You roll your eyes at that, taking the cup and setting it down once she’s done with the water, “I know Shauna’s going through a lot but that doesn’t make up for the fact that you could’ve died.”

Lottie frowns, maybe that’s true, maybe Lottie just doesn’t care enough about her own well-being to think like that, but she knows if it was you in her situation Lottie probably would have thought the same.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” Your voice fills her ears again, this time it’s sad and your voice is shaky, “Seeing you lying on the floor, i-in your own blood, made me realize how much I truly do care about you.”

Lottie felt her heart beat faster and clench, a warmth filling her body even though it was so cold in the cabin.

“You mean a lot to me too.” Lottie whispers softly, her voice sounding a bit better after the water but still low and gravely, “More then I ever thought possible.”

You stared at her and your hand goes to run through her hair, making her almost purr like a cat as she leaned into your touch, she was so damn touch starved and she enjoyed the affection.

You smile softly and continue to run your fingers through her long hair, her head eventually finds its way to your shoulder and Lottie’s curled up against you, a blanket draped over the both of you.

“You..stayed with me all this time?” Lottie asks softly after a couple minutes of comfortable silence and she can feel your head nodding against her as you continue to hold her close to you.

Lottie feels so touched, that you cared, not like how the others cared, because she was their “leader” but because you genuinely saw her as your friend, a loyal companion, and she appreciated that.

Lottie felt like everyone had been treating her as some sort of god and she hated it, she hated that everyone looked up to her for everything and the pressure was on her.

“I couldn’t leave your side, no matter how many times the others told me to give you distance just in case. You mean so much to me, Lott.” You smile and snuggle a bit closer to her for warmth.

A vulnerable silence fell upon the room as Lottie’s heart pounded in her chest at your words, should she tell you her feelings? Lottie felt so comfortable but she didn’t want to ruin this. The two girls unspoken feelings hanging in the air as Lottie’s heart pounds so loud that she’s worried you may hear it.

“I…I’ve always felt something for you, but, I was so scared of losing you..” Lottie whispers so silently that if it wasn’t so quiet in the cabin you probably wouldn’t have heard it. Your heart stops for a moment, was she saying what you think she was saying?

“Lottie..I’ve always felt something strong for you too, you’re never going to lose me.” You reassure her, your voice full of tenderness as you fall back into a silence, the harsh wind blowing against the window in the attic.

Lottie’s sore body slowly sits up until she’s facing you, she can see a bit better now and Lottie blinks a few times before her hand reaches out and cups your cheek.

Lottie leaned in slowly but hesitated, looking at you and silently asking for permission and you nodded slowly, your gaze flickering to her lips. Slowly you two leaned in and met in a tender, cautious kiss.

Lottie’s lips stung with the bruises and cuts on her lips but the pleasurable pain filled her with bliss as she finally got to touch your lips with her own and it felt like pure heaven, pure ecstasy, the two of you curled up into each other and kissed for as long as your breathes would let you, and so. In the quiet solitude of the attic, you two exchanged soft words and kisses, a promise for a new start of life in your chaos filled experience in the wilderness.

#courtney eaton #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets one shot #lottie matthews imagine

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daeguzen · 10 months

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Lee Haechan Keeps Breaking Up With Me

PAIRING | l.dh x f. reader, ft. n.jm

GENRE | angst, slight fluff

WORD COUNT | 7.6k

NOTE | i just wrote all of this, it's not proofread lol. this is the start of the started with a book series. first book is called laura dean keeps breaking up with me. it's an lgbtq+ comic styled book. the art style is very pretty and the story itself, i find, is good. a coming to age story about friends, neglect, and toxic relationships. i followed the basic plot for the most part but all scenes, characters, and personal story lines are not 100% true to the original book. credits to the author of course for what i did relate to.

WARNING | reader has negative views of themselves, mentions of infidelity, manipulative characteristics, toxic relationships

SONG | i don't know you - the marias

SUMMARY | becoming lee haechan's girlfriend was the best day of your life. he was everything you dreamed of. the most breathtaking, and beautiful lee haechan was someone you were lucky enough to call yours. it goes unnoticed how he easily manipulated you into doing all he wanted, believing the pretty lies that left his lips. the love you had for him was enough to blind you to how mean he could be and how often he broke up with you just to get back together again. no one understood why you kept running back into the embrace of the boy who paid no mind to your pain. when you seek advice from the don't need that love online forum, your forced to face the truth. your heart is breaking slowly, your friendship is falling apart, and you can't seem to do anything right. and what would it take for him to stop breaking up with you?

Wiping down the cafe table, you find yourself lost in the repetitive motions of your work. You move your arm around, rag in hand, watching as the little crumbs fall on the floor. Placing the napkin dispenser and other items neatly in their respective places. Backing away from the now clean area, you take the used dishes to the kitchen. You hear the faint chimes that sound every time people walk in and out. It’s not as busy, that being the situation every Wednesday afternoon. When you come out back to the front you’re greeted with a small cappuccino made by your co-worker Na Jaemin.

“You look like you need an energizer. Don’t worry, the boss won’t mind.” Glancing at him and back at the drink in his hand you break out in a small but grateful smile.

“Thank you Jaem, what would I do without your kind gestures?”

“Crash and burn.” At that you let out a laugh that makes Jaemin’s eyes sparkle. Something you never noticed, eyes always wondering elsewhere.

“Honestly, I can say you read me better than my own boyfriend.” You also miss the twitch in Jaemin’s smile, lips almost frowning. But he reverts back to his friendly self knowing that the place next to yours wasn’t for him.

“Well I believe that your boyfriend is a little bitch.” You almost choke on your coffee at the sudden selection of words.

“Jaemin!”

“Just saying what I believe. An opinion tis all. Now finish up young lady, back to work before manager Suh comes in and sees you downing his precious coffee.”

“I thought you said he wouldn’t mind.”

“Hmm did I?” You stifle a giggle as you finish up your tasty cappuccino. Although he had been partially messing with you when he called your boyfriend a little bitch, you couldn’t help but wonder if Haechan wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world. You could’ve gone without the name calling. Visibly, you sigh as you throw your coffee cup away, thoughts of Haechan lingering in your mind. Most of the time, the emotions you felt when remembering him were sad and lonely ones. You oftenly had to wonder where he was or if he’d call you. Maybe he’d forgotten about you completely at times. You weren’t sure but you hoped it wasn’t so.

When the chimes ring again, you look up ready to greet the incoming customer when you realize it’s your bestfriend Mark. Your smile diminishes as you watch the evident frown and glaring eyes. When he stops at the counter you don’t even get one word out before he speaks up.

“What happened to showing up to my show at 4 pm sharp?” Your eyes widen. Shit.

“M-Mark, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to miss it, Johnny called me in to work yesterday and I forgot to follow up with you. Please I’m sorry, I-I can make it up to you.”

“You can’t because you always do this.”

“What do you mean?” You feel yourself try to hide, curl into yourself as Mark’s words leave painful imprints on your chest. You couldn’t blame him though, it was your fault. Only you were to blame for being a fuck up of a girlfriend and best friend.

“You always come to me when you need something or when you’re down. Mostly when your jerk of a boyfriend doesn’t give you any attention. But when I want to go to you you’re never there. When I tell you I have a show that I really care about that I would love for my best friend to show up to, you forget. It’s not fair.” Mark looks near tears as he speaks to you in a tone that always felt alien to you. He starts to turn away, opting to just leave at that point.

“Markie, wait, don’t go I really am sorry!”

“Fuck off Y/N.” There’s the sound of a choked off sob, tears tricking with a heavy heart in hand. You jump slightly when Jaemin’s hand comes to soothingly rub your back, arms bringing you into a hug.

“It’s okay Y/N, it’ll be okay. If you want, go home and rest up a bit, it’s not a busy day and I can talk to manager Suh.”

You want to shake your head and say no, that you’re fine and that you can do your job but Jaemin doesn’t let you. And even if his intentions were good, it only made you feel worse. Not only were you a careless best friend and boring girlfriend, but now you were a useless co-worker. Walking out of the cafe, your eyes were trained on the sidewalk, the tears still streaming down your face. They didn’t stop even when you reached your house. Not until you fell asleep with only a pillow to hold.

You spent the entirety of the following week trying to make up for your mistake. You kept apologizing, telling him that you appreciated him a lot and supporting him during his recordings. He accepted it, also apologizing for telling you to fuck off but you told him there was no need. He was right to be upset with you and you promised that this time, you’d work on being a better and attentive friend. Knowing that the only thing Mark was forgetful about was eating properly, you oftenly brought him lunch boxes and coffee from your workplace.

You were aware that Mark wasn’t a big fan of your boyfriend. And it frustrated him to see the frequency of your visits with lunch boxes in hand not because he wasn’t grateful but because he knew Haechan never saw any of this. Your boyfriend was as good as a ghost, even dead. He hoped that one day, you’d have the courage to leave him and be happy. You were his childhood friend and seeing how those eyes of yours morphed into something sad and empty would always be a sadness of his own.

It was Tuesday morning when you walked out of the recording studio, bidding farewell to Mark. You made your way towards the Art Building, where your Intro to Art and Visual Culture class was scheduled in about thirty minutes. You sat on one of the seats in the hallway to wait for your class to begin. Scrolling through your phone, you couldn’t help but see what Haechan had been posting. He told you he was busy, it was why you hadn’t seen him in over three weeks. If hanging out with friends at a bar could be considered busy. You never complained or called him out for anything. You weren’t that type of girlfriend and Haechan would probably be annoyed if you were.

Still, you couldn’t help but wish that those pretty eyes would look at you. You could almost imagine him walking up to you, wearing nothing but jeans and an oversized hoodie. You’d look to your left, seeing him sit down next to you, getting lost in those sparkling and mischievous eyes. The pretty marks that dotted his face, creating the Ursa Minor constellation. You would adoringly call him your little bear because of it. His hair had always looked soft, grown out and messy but it was your favorite out of all the ones he’d worn before. You liked how it almost came around his eyes and down to the back of his neck. When you blink again, his image is gone and you’re left with an empty seat, just a picture of him on your phone case.

Your head falls back gently onto the wall behind you, eyes closing. What would it take for Haechan to just see you? To love you like you did him? He had to at least somewhat love you. He wouldn’t keep coming back if he didn’t, right? It felt more like something you tried to tell yourself to believe instead of what could be the actual truth. Maybe Haechan didn’t love you. Or maybe you were asking for too much when you were not enough. Still, Haechan was yours. At least a piece of him had to be yours, even if your entirety belonged only to him. When your eyes open, moving to the side, you see his smiling face.

“I wish you were real.”

“If I weren’t then what would I be? A ghost?” You blink once and then again. By the third time, he’s still sitting there. That dazzling smirk spreads across his face as it always did. Suddenly, he brings himself closer, head tilting and lips aiming straight for yours. You felt that emptiness fill again, forgetting all the bad thoughts that clouded your mind. Before he could pull away, you surprisingly let your fingers slip into his hair and hold him there for a bit. He lets a muffled sound of what seems surprise as he lets you get lost within him.

For you it was everything but for Haechan, he just relished in the way he held your delicate heart in his hands. Always at his beckoning call even when he discarded you. He could always present himself in front of you and you’d be like a puppy waiting for their master.

He pulls away from you, eyes hooded when he sees you chase a bit after him. You miss the bad glimmer in his eyes, when he takes a good look at your closed eyes, lips colored red and swollen. You feel his hand come up to caress at your cheek softly, a great contrast from the manipulative feelings burning within him.

“Darling, you look so cute like this. Maybe I should keep you waiting for my kisses more frequently.” He clearly knows what he’s doing and saying when he watches the sad frown grace your lips.

“I missed you so much. I haven’t seen you in three weeks now. Where have you been?”

“I told you I was busy doing stuff. My friends needed me. But I remembered about your class today and since I didn’t have anything to do I thought maybe we could go somewhere.” Another frown, another internal flare of manipulative words. A never ending dance doomed for tragedy.

“Hyuckie, I have class in twenty minutes.”

“The same class you attend every Tuesday for five months. Missing one class isn’t going to affect you. Besides, don’t you want to spend time with me? You said you missed me.” Haechan’s hand retracts, his thumb lightly grazing now at your neck.

“But I like this class a lot.” This time it’s Haechan who frowns, observing how you’ve become a little resistant to him.

“What, so you like your class more than me? I thought I meant more, that I was important to you above all else.” When you see him pout he knows he’s roped you in. He likes the desperate look to please him and wonders what he did in life to find such a willing girl that wants to see him happy and sets her heart right out in front of him. He could almost laugh.

“Fine, fine. But only this one time. I can’t keep skipping classes.”

“Don’t worry love, no one will notice you’re missing and we can have fun.” No one would ever notice you the way I do. See you the way I do. Your heart, it’s all for me to play with and do as I please. And you could never dream of saying no to me my love.

Haechan grasps at your hand now, excitedly dragging you away. To you, not much else mattered more than keeping him happy. Even if it was at the expense of your responsibilities and well being. As long as he could smile with those dazzling eyes into yours, you thought that was enough.

“Where are we going Haechannie?”

“Anywhere we want.” Anywhere I want.

“Can we get coffee together?”

“Should we?” No.

“Unless you don’t want to, we could go get ice cream if you’d like, I know you like that one place by the bookstore.”

“Hmm, I guess we’ll get ice cream then!” Of course we are.

“Haechannie?”

“Yes?” What?

“I love you.”

“Me too.” Of course you do, who wouldn’t?

And eventually when you do get your ice cream and he pays for you, you get a piece of him. You enjoy it to the fullest. But as you're finishing your treat, he does what he always does. When his eyes find his friends he lets those words roll smoothly out of his mouth. I’ll be back so wait for me here.

You tell yourself he’ll come back. But you always knew what those eight words meant. Even if you denied it as hard as you could, the rising moon could not deny it for you.

Haechan left you in the dark again.

Dear DNYL,

My name is Y/N and I’m a third year college student at Dream University of the Arts. I’m currently in a relationship with my sweet boyfriend Hyuck. I love him dearly. He’s a great guy deep down. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, I was sitting on a singswet and he was kneeling in front of me. He looked at me, I know he took a really good look at me. He was so sweet, his hand held mine, and he told me that he had never met another girl like me. He said he wanted to keep me all for himself.

But I think that things aren’t going very well. I just can’t figure out why. I love him and he loves me. I know he does. He buys me ice cream. Even pretty flowers because he knows I like them. He lets me join in on his streams. He’s a gamer. He’s pretty good at it too. I’m not as good so he doesn’t let me embarrass myself in front of his friends. I know he’s taking care of me by doing this.

I just can't seem to understand something. Even with all this love, Hyuck sometimes feels upset. And I don’t know how to fix it. I know it’s my fault, I should pay more attention to him because I’m his girlfriend. I care for him a lot. But I don’t know how to fix it because truthfully, my boyfriend Hyuck keeps breaking up with me and I don’t know what to do. Please reply soon.

Lots of love,

Y/N

It was a mistake. Your balance had failed and the other boy had been too close. You were slightly tipsy, waiting on the couch for your boyfriend. He invited you to the bar he frequented with his friends. You were okay enough to know that you were going to have to apologize again. Not only to Haechan but to Jaemin too. Your boyfriend was so caught up in talking to some other person that he forgot about his promise to take you home half an hour ago. You decided to take matters into your own hands, not being able to take the sight in front of you.

Jaemin hadn’t taken very long to find you. He came over to you asking if you were okay, you only replied with a small yes as you took his hand into yours. But the world was spinning so when you fell back, Jaemin tripped over you, lips brushing against yours. It was straight out of a dramatic story. But he didn’t stay more than a second like that when he was getting up, ears red, and stuttering apologies. You laughed, waving it off, and telling him that you’d really like to go home.

Jaemin held you close to his side, when his eyes came up, he noticed the silhouette of the person he could honestly say he hated. He watched as Haechan’s arm retracted from the girl next to him, eyes engaging him in a furious glare. Before anything else could happen, Jaemin pulls away first, his top priority being you.

“Let’s take you home okay?” You nod, letting him guide you to his car. You don’t notice the familiar steps that hurriedly hit the payment. It’s only when he’s blocking you from Jaemin’s car that you realize Haechan followed you out. He looks towards you, extending his hand out for you to take.

“Y/N, I’ll take you home.”

“If you haven’t noticed I’m taking her home.”

“I wasn’t talking to you. Y/N, let’s go now.” He moves forward to take almost by force but stops when he watches with shock at how you sink deeper into Jaemin’s arms. You most certainly did not just reject Haechan in preference of Jaemin. You couldn’t have done that.

“Y/N?” He tries to soften his voice, masking the edge and frustration he’s feeling. To him, there was definitely something wrong with you. You’ve been resisting him recently and he wasn’t a fan of it.

“You didn’t take me home. Jaemin…will do it. He listens.” Jaemin moves around Haechan, still holding onto you as he places you in the passenger's seat. He was sure to properly accommodate you. And when you saw that, your hands came up to try and wipe away your tears. Your sobs may have been hushed but Haechan heard them loud and clear. He turned to watch as you completely fell apart, telling Jaemin so openly that your chest was hurting. That you wanted it to stop. And then before Jaemin closed the door, you uttered words neither boys would’ve ever thought you’d say.

“I wish you were my boyfriend instead. You’re not reckless. You make me feel safe Nana.” It was funny, how they both stilled, eyes wide with shock but for completely different reasons. Haechan felt humiliated. He was hurt but his brain processed all the wrong reasons. Thinking that he was losing his control over you was what he thought bothered him. Jealousy? Of course it was, you were after all his. Jaemin on the other hand, felt sad that he wished it would be the same. But he knew that the moment you’d sober up, you’d forget all of this. And you’d go back to the very arms you were running from tonight.

When you arrived at your house, Jaemin had to carry you. You were at the same low you found yourself in whenever Haechan was around. Jaemin was seeing it all and you couldn’t help the embarrassment in you. But Jaemin didn’t care about any of that. What he cared about was your wellbeing. He loved you more than his words could convey. It ripped him apart to watch Haechan bring you down and toy with you as if you were nothing. But he could never force something that was not meant to be. All he could was be a good friend, it was all he could be even if he craved for more.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Making you…drive me home. Bothering…”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m here when you need me.”

“Sorry about the kiss. Lost my balance.” For all the self control Jaemin had, he didn’t want to stop his next words. He wouldn’t regret them, he’d just regret the feeling of your inevitable rejection.

“I kinda liked it.”

“Hmm.” Jaemin sighs at your response.

“Of all times you decide to fall asleep on me, it’s the moment I bare a piece of my soul. Sleep well Y/N.” He leaves the door to your room ajar and walks towards the sofa bed in your living room. He doesn’t want to leave you alone in this state, well aware you’d need someone to take care of you in the morning. If only he could hold you, brush his fingers through your hair, and kiss you again. Even if it was selfish, he wanted to be in his place. He’d always want it to be him instead.

Dear Y/N,

Thank you for reaching out to us! I’m Renjun, one of the consultants from Don’t Need That Love. I just want you to know that I’m proud of you for sending us your letter. I want you to take a moment. Just take a moment to breathe. Focus on yourself as you read this and put away all other thoughts. I want you to know that as a consultant here, I am very honest with my words from what I collect from these letters. Although, it may not be what you wish to here, we do this to give perspective on what may be happening in your love life. At the end of the day, I am here to help.

The relationship you are in is not very healthy. Significant others are meant to be there for you, cherish you, and make you happy. But I think you’ve convinced yourself that your boyfriend doing all these things for you is his way of showing his love. I think he tries to manipulate you with his words, to make himself seem like he’s upset and guilt you into giving in. You don’t need someone else to validate you as a good person. You work on accepting yourself as you are. And if there’s someone in your life who truly cares about you, they will be the ones to talk about healthy changes you need to consider.

Not allowing you to play games and to just watch his streams because his friends are there, is not an excuse. If anything he’s supposed to stick up for you. He has probably tried to mold you into someone who is dependent on him. To have you any time he calls out.

Let me ask you sincerely, do you think Hyuck truly sees you for the person you are? Does he know all the things you enjoy? Does he respect you and your friends? Does he agree and accept your words even if it’s a simple opinion or request? Ask yourself, how do his actions reflect the love he says he has for you. Write it out if you’d like, think upon it and then if you want you can write to me again. I hope to hear from you soon.

Lovingly,

Renjun

“We need to talk.” It was the first time Haechan wasn’t so kind to you. Before, it was an exchange of a few words and then him abruptly walking away. But now, he dragged you by your arm, fingers painfully digging into your skin. He led you into the alleyway next to the cafe you worked at. Letting you go, he let his arms fall at his sides. He ignored the way you rubbed your arm to soothe the pain.

“Were you trying to hurt me last night?” You winced.

“N-no, I didn’t mean to-”

“So what, you were just caught up in the moment. For fucksake he was on top of you and you let him!”

“I didn’t mean to do it! It was an accident!”

“So if I were to just kiss any other girl I’d be able to call it an accident? Is that how much my love means to you?” It hurt that he’d accuse you but it didn’t outweigh the guilt you felt for hurting him too.

“No, of course not. Your love means so much to me I-”

“Do you remember what you said to Jaemin?” For some reason, Haechan looked more hurt than you’ve ever seen. His eyes were slightly red as if he had cried.

“W-what are you talking about?”

“You called him to pick you up. Because I didn’t do it as soon as you wanted to. You told him he listens to you. Do you think that I don’t? You think I’m an inadequate boyfriend.”

“Hyuckie no-”

“You told him you wished he were your boyfriend instead!” His statement shuts you up immediately. Hands shaking nervously from the onslaught of accusations. You were drunk but you knew what you had said. And although you avoided that conversation with Jaemin, you knew it was inevitable with Haechan.

“Should we just break up?” At this you panic and Haechan laughs, relishing in how immediately you reached out to him. You’re still mine. You belong to me and no one else.

“Darling, every time we break up we always find our way back. You understand me and I’m the only one who understands you. What we have is more important than a meaningless kiss you shared with that bastard,” he watches your lips slightly frown, “unless you think he’s more important to you than I am.” You shake your head, giving the answer he wanted.

“I want to hear you say it, love. Say I’m more important to you than him.”

“You’re more important to me than him.”

“So we’re good now. Okay lovely?”

“Yes Haechan.”

“Good,” Haechan moves in to kiss you and you know he never does little pecks. He brings you closer, kissing you in a way you don’t recognize. Because this time, it’s you who tries to pull away gently and he who lets out a sound of disapproval, reaching to kiss you again.

“I know you have to get back to work but after you get off let's go on a date. We’ll do anything you want.” You blink up at him, eyes almost innocent and he feels something strange spread in his chest.

“Anything?” He nods.

“Can we go to the music shop? I want us to listen to music together.” Haechan, who is usually so composed, feels a haze in his mind as he gives in to you. He tells you that he would love to. And he tries to understand why he’s feeling this way but as it always happened, he recognized all the wrong reasons. This time, he thought it was simply because he almost lost his little toy. But you came back into his arms, you always would.

“Mark, I’m sorry. Please believe me I-”

“You know every fucking time I see you, your always apologizing. And it’s getting very tiring Y/N. I thought we were fine, thought you were doing better.”

“I don’t mean to-”

“What? You don’t mean to be a shitty friend? Goddammit, I feel like we’re going in circles. Why can’t you see your boyfriend is a complete asshole? He doesn’t love you!” Mark’s words were meant to hurt you. You knew that much. But hearing him openly express them made you want to cry. And it seemed that it was all you ever did. You were happy one moment crying the next. And it never seemed to stop.

Currently, you stood in Mark’s room, it changed a lot from how he had it as a kid. Now, you could say it was a perfect depiction of who he was. He loved music, he would say he wouldn’t know what to do with his life if it wasn’t for his passion. It looked lively with all the album covers on his walls, music sheets thrown about and instruments on one side.

But looking at him now, he didn’t have the brightness about him. He looked drained and it scared you of how much he seemed to resemble you.

“H-he does love me.”

“Of course he does. Little Mr. Perfect with the dazzling eyes could never hurt you. Oh no, he loves you so dearly that’s why he goes around fucking other girls behind your back.”

“What?” Mark looks to you clearly now, the color draining from both your faces.

“Mark, what are you talking about?”

“You can’t tell me you didn’t know? How could you not know?” An unfortunate turn of events but maybe this was what served as the eye opener you needed.

“Mark?” He looks towards you, frustration in his shoulders but tears rolling down nonetheless.

“I guess that makes two of us. How pathetic. Not only are we best friends who share birthdays but now we can both say we got cheated on.”

You took a moment to process what he was saying. You knew you were a lot of things. Stupid. Ignorant. Foolish. But you weren’t entirely heartless. And only others knew that you were more selfless than selfish. You walked towards Mark, without saying a word you pulled him into an embrace. That was all it took for him to break down.

Mark was a good kid. He did his work diligently and he was one of the most talented musicians at the university. He had a growing following on his platforms. He was always a good son and tried to be a good friend. He thought he had to meet everyone’s expectations and beyond. You often had to bring him down from that cloud and back to earth. Mark didn’t have to try and be perfect because he already was. He just had to be the best he could be. Your hands came to touch his face, knuckles brushing away gently at his tears. You should have been there for him. You should have been a better friend. But you failed him and this was something you’d never forgive yourself for.

“I think there’s a lot we have to discuss about Markie. I’m sorry for not being there. But I’m here now. And I won’t go away anymore.”

And so with that, Mark explained to you that his girlfriend of three years had cheated on him with one of the boys in his piano class. He told you about how he found them, how upset he was, and how badly she tried apologizing for her mistakes. But he realized that he couldn’t take it. That the only person who he couldn’t push away no matter how many times she apologized was you. He could learn to live without her but he couldn’t do that with you. And after talking for hours about him, the topic you dreaded finally came up. And after everything you heard, you realized a lot of things about yourself. Things you finally had the courage to change.

Haechan came around to your coffee shop, smirking at the obvious glare Jaemin sent his way.

“Y/N, you’re gonna go to my birthday party tomorrow right?” Looking up from behind the cash register, you watch Haechan leaning on the counter.

“I thought your birthday was next week?”

“It is but I’m celebrating it tomorrow. I’m inviting all of my friends too. Don’t worry I can pick you up.”

“Haechan, I appreciate it but I have something really important to do.” Haechan frowns. Did you…just say no without apologizing? He straightens up to look at you more clearly.

“What’s so important that you have to miss my birthday party?”

“It’s personal.”

“So now we’re keeping secrets?”

“You’d know a lot about keeping secrets.” Haechan has the audacity to scoff. The shock he felt wasn’t enough to even begin describing the list of emotions he was going through.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused. Now leave, there's a customer behind you.” He looks at you, mouth gaping open. When he looks back to where your coworker stands with amusement written on his face, he turns angrily.

“No way did you just reject your boyfriend's invitation.”

“I did,” you let out a sigh of relief.

“It’s just…I’m not used to you denying him anything. Not to sound nosy or whatever but your man is-” before he could say more you add, “a little bitch.” If Jaemin had taken a sip of coffee he would’ve spit it out. But he settled with his jaw dropping to the floor.

“Who are you?” You turn to look at him and for the first time in years, he watches a genuine smile grace your face all the way to your eyes.

“Y/N L/N, third year college student at Dream University of the Arts. The best friend to none other than Mark Lee and Na Jaemin. The soon to be ex-girlfriend of one Lee Haechan."

Dear Renjun,

Thank you for writing back. It means a lot to me. It did hurt a lot, the words you wrote. I’m embarrassed to say that I spent a few weeks agonizing over it but I’ve finally gathered my courage. One that I think took too long to find. I guess I’ll just start with everything that’s been on my mind.

I hate going to the ice cream place all the time. I only did it because Hyuck doesn’t like coffee too much. I would always offer coffee, he’d say should we, and I knew it was his way of saying no. He never gets me the flowers I like. Blue and white hydrangeas are my favorite. But he gets me roses because he says they are the most romantic. I’ve always found them to be basic. He’s never told me loved me directly. I would always say it first. He also always leaves me alone. Whether in the rain, sun, dark clouds, or on a park bench. He made me skip classes because he made me feel as though I wasn’t loving him enough. He never talks kindly about my friends. He doesn’t listen to me when I’m agonizing. He forgets me.

You’re right, he doesn’t see me. I called it love because I wanted to believe it. But it wasn’t. It never was to begin with. I was a toy to him, a puppet. One that he could pull the strings back towards him. But these past few weeks have made me realize and see things for what they truly were. My friend confessed something to me. He went through something sad in his relationship just like I did with mine. I see now how badly I’ve neglected him. Just like Hyuck does to me.

I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want to be with him. I want him to let me go. I know it’ll hurt but I know I’ll be happy when we set each other free. My boyfriend Huck keeps breaking up with me because he doesn’t need my love. He doesn’t fear losing it. And even if I do want to cry and scream…I can’t. Why do I feel so free?

Thank you Renjun. For listening to me and for providing me with your words of encouragement. It’s one of the many things that I needed to grow out of this. I hope wherever you are that you’re doing well. And that you have people who cherish you deeply.

Lots of love,

Y/N

Taking a deep breath as you bring your hand up to ring the doorbell, you hear the faint sound of it ringing in Haechan’s apartment. When the door opens you’re met with the smiling face of a boy you’ve never met. He looks like he’s gone through hell and back. Wincing at the sudden daylight he gives you another small and quirky smile.

“Hello! You here for the after party?”

“After party?”

“Yeah, Haechan is having a weekend birthday party so we’re on dia numero dos. Come in!” You walk in a little weary at all the excitement that exudes from the boy. When you step into the living room you see a few boys, with what seems to be their girlfriends, and Haechan sitting in the middle laughing away with a bottle of Bacardi. When he turns he sees you and you can see his gears turning in his head. The ones that used to manipulate you.

“Y/N, you’re here.”

“I didn’t know you were having another party.”

“Yeah well I was sad that my girl couldn’t show up for some reason so the guys are here to cheer me up. We’re going to be partying all week!”

“Yeah, uhm can I speak to you in private?” Haechan’s eyebrows furrow. There’s a little bite to his tone when he answers you.

“Why can’t you say what you need to say here?”

“Because it’s a little personal.”

“Just like yesterday? Why are you being so secretive Y/N? It’s getting really annoying.” His friends just look at the two of you, some giggle, others ignore the situation, and a few look disappointed in him. One of them you recognize as Jeno, Jaemin’s best friend. You knew he was a good guy. You wondered if Haechan had somehow manipulated him too.

“I don’t want to say it in front of your friends.” He scoffs.

“Just spit it out Y/N, I’m trying to cheer up after you left me hanging.” You could visibly hear the snipping of the threads that kept you tied to him. Miraculously, with all the confidence you could muster you let out the same words he would whisper in your ear.

“I’m breaking up with you Lee Donghyuck.” No one laughed at that. No one dared to as they watched the show unfold in front of them. You can feel Jeno’s eyes on yours but ignore it as yours don’t leave Haechan. He blinks, confusion spreading across his features. He then sits up straight, as if your words were registering late.

“I’m sorry what?” he laughs.

“I’m breaking up with you. You’re a piece of shit of a boyfriend. You only care about yourself. You manipulate people around you to make them feel bad and yourself better just to feed that insanely inflated ego of yours. You don’t bother listening to me or going out with me. You barely even know me after years of dating. I’ve had enough.”

“Fucking unbelievable.” Haechan’s eyes watered but you knew they were fake. He still had to play victim after all.

“You came to break up with me on my fucking birthday!?”

“To be fair, your birthday is Tuesday.” Haechan lets the bottle fall onto the carpeted floor as he gets up in a haste of anger and disbelief.

“You can’t be-”

“Since you always interrupt me, let me do the same. You made me into a shitty person and friend. I willingly let you do that to me. But you know what? I realized that you’re not worth it Donghyuck,” and if using his real name was anything to go by, he immediately knew you were being serious, “You’re not worth being loved by me. I have so much love to give and you always take it for granted. I hope we never have to see each other again after this. I already left all of your things outside your door. I don’t have anything to ask from you because you never care to have me over as much as you do your friends and the girls you sleep with behind my back.” You don’t miss how the color from his face drains, leaving him in a state that you never had the pleasure of seeing him in. You turned and left and as soon as you reached the sidewalk you heard the slamming of a door and Haechan’s loud voice rang through.

“Fuck you! Go fuck yourself! I don’t even need you! I never even fucking loved you! You weren’t special, you were nothing! You are nothing! You’re wrong. You’re the one who doesn’t deserve my love because my love is one of a kind and anyone in the world would be lucky to have it! Now you can say you were the one that lost it.” But you don’t turn around and you let Haechan have the last words. You don’t know what they are as you walk away from him.

Dear Y/N,

I’m happy to have received your last letter. I see that you’ve done a lot of self reflection. I know it must’ve hurt but I can see that you’re ready to move on. Know that you did all of this on your own. I may have provided words of encouragement but you took all the necessary steps towards your happiness. I’m proud of you.

I hope that all goes well for you too. And don’t hesitate to reach out again. Just because you’ve moved on from the relationship you were in doesn’t mean I wouldn’t mind hearing from you again. Perhaps, if you find someone who does see you, you can let me know all about them. I’d be willing to hear from you again.

Lovingly,

Huang Renjun

Moving on from Haechan wasn’t so hard when you realized just how much more happy you felt. Even though you grieved the boy you left, you didn’t grieve the relationship. It would’ve been pointless to do so. Eventually, the light returned to your eyes. You didn’t look as tired as you used to. Jaemin would frequently tell you about how much you’ve changed for the better. Sometimes he’d think he’d say too much but you just observed how well he knew you. He even brought you your favorite flowers with a cup of coffee.

Instead of being alone at all the places you liked to frequent, Jaemin was there with you. Sometimes so was Mark. The arcade and music shop became your special places with Jaemin. You also made sure to never miss any Mark’s shows which he appreciated. It brought him near tears when you attended his fifth show in a row, watching how his best friend made every effort to be there.

And when Jaemin asked you to be his girlfriend, you couldn’t help the feelings that spread in your chest. Jaemin loved you so much and he showed it to you. He listened and was always there when you needed him. He never left you behind, you were always next to him. All that mattered was already in your life, you just had to let go of those who didn’t.

This is Y/N please leave a message.

Hey baby, it’s me, we need to talk...please call me back.

Love, can you answer your phone? I need to talk to you please. Please just call back ok?

Why are you hurting me like this? You broke up with me on birth- at my birthday party and now you’re ignoring all of my calls? Could you just please fucking answer? I know you still get my messages. I know you do.

Hey it’s me again, Haechannie, the love of your life. Remember you would call me your love? I do. Listen, I’m sorry for being angry in my last voicemail. It was mean of me to talk like that and I’m really sorry but I was just feeling frustrated that you won’t answer. I just need you to pick up the phone once love, so we can talk. Please, I’m sad that the only way I hear your voice is through your voicemail message. And I can’t seem to find you on campus please just call. I tried looking for you at work but you’re never there and I- you have reached the time limit for this voicemail.

H-hey, b-baby please p-please. I-im sorry. I know, I know I hurt you and I know you’re upset with m-me but please! I have to t-talk to you. I miss you so fucking much please please please call me baby please! F-fucking call me back!

Y-Y/N why won’t you call me back? I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating. I can’t smile. I can’t do shit. I miss you so so so much. I miss kissing you. I want to kiss you. I want you. I need you. I need our cuddle sessions back. And I want us to go for ice cream again. Love, please just pick up your phone.

I heard you’re d-dating Jaemiiin! That’s sooo f-fucking funny. I actshually for uh s-second thought that you..that you started d-dating that b-bastard. D-does he know? Does he know m-my love, that I, Lee Haechan! Was your first in everyyything? That I kissed you first? That I made love to you first? Held you first…I held you first. You fooled me love…huh fooled me goood.

Y/N f-for fucksakes! I love you I-I love you! I love you! Love me back baby please! Love me I need you to love me! L-love me. Love me because it hurts. It hurts so much. I’m a fucking mess. I’m fucking c-crying right now and I sound so pathetic. Is this what you want to hear? T-that I cry myself to s-sleep every night wishing you were next to me? And that I, I’ve been drinking too much. S-sometimes I feel like…I feel like I can see you. Like I could just…reach out and t-touch you. And then I reach out and you’re not there! Baby please- you have reached the time limit for this voicemail.

Fucking automated piece of shit! I hate hearing it! I want to hear you! Please love me! Use me. Do anything you want with me baby but please don’t leave me. B-baby please pretty please! Play with my heart. I-I deserve it right? For hurting you, I deserve it and i-if you come back then I’ll let you do whatever you want with me. How does that sound, hmm? Sounds good right love? Please, don’t leave me. I’ll give you my love. You have it all. Your love is one of a kind, your love is the one not worth losing. Come back and love me, I need you to love me, love me so it won’t hurt anymore.

The phone number you are calling is no longer in service.

The phone-

#nct dream #haechan #lee haechan #haechan scenarios #haechan angst #donghyuck angst

103 notes · View notes

bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

Text

➪the one where nick has to deal with the aftermath of what he did.

Part 1

Warnings: mentions of physical harm, post transformation nick, ending where nick is still a werewolf, ptsd, trauma, swearing, fun things

Word Count: 4.6k

Time couldn’t move any slower and this night couldn’t end any faster.

At one point, you were sure you would spend the rest of it crying, but as it went on, your tears slowed until you had nothing left to shed. Your body had seemed to have run out and it left you with aching eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Kaitlyn wrapped a long bandage around your arm and upper body that prevented you from being able to move your right arm from the elbow up. It was to ensure that your shoulder wouldn’t be further injured as the night progressed. It was annoying to have to only use your left hand, but it was also the last thing on your mind.

There was one thing that had your full attention. Well, there was one person.

Nick.

Where was he? Was he dead? Did he literally rip himself to shreds and will remain as that thing for the rest of his life?

The last question was answered by Laura, one of the missing counselors. She told you that his skin will grow back and he will be back to his normal self the following day, if he survives the night, that is.

You weren’t fond on the way she worded that last part, but she did know the most out of all of you, her own boyfriend had been through the same thing that yours was currently going through.

Morning comes with no sign of Nick. You heard he was safe and had been locked in a cage next to Jacob for most of the night after he fled from the pool shed. That in itself had put your worried and terrified thoughts at ease and allowed you to spend the rest of the night somewhat peacefully.

When you, Emma and Abi stepped out of Chris’ surveillance room the following morning, you could’ve cried at the fact that you and everyone you had grown to care so much about had survived, if your tears ever began flowing again.

The sun on your skin felt like you were finally awake from an endless nightmare, finally safe until it inevitably went away and you were left in the dark once again.

When you left the building, Kaitlyn immediately found you and checked on your injuries. Your lip was split open on the left side and your right cheekbone wore a sizable bruise that looked even worse in the sunlight.

When she declared you to be in decent shape, she moved to the side and that was when your eyes met a pair of brown ones. They looked sad and broken beyond belief, most likely matching yours. His entire persona lacked its usual light and friendly energy, and all that was replaced was the shell of a man, completely drained and shattered from the events that occurred the prior night.

He looked so different from the last time you saw him. His hair was dry, not wet from the pool, his clothes were in one piece, not like the ones shredded all over the pool house, his eyes were sad and guilty, not excited and dark.

Standing there, clad in his varsity jacket and beige pants, was Nick.

He looked at you as if you were the most fragile thing he had ever seen, and right then you felt like it.

Ryan and Dylan watched you with worried eyes as you slowly stepped forward and towards your boyfriend. You felt nervous, something you thought you’d never feel when you were around Nick, but at this point, none of your feelings towards him were positive, with the exception of relief at the fact that he was alive and okay.

When you walked up to him, you made sure to keep a few feet of distance between you. “Y/n,” he says quietly, his arms aching to reach out and hold you. He had a faint memory of what happened, and with you standing in front of him, wearing the injuries and pain he inflicted on you, it did a pretty good job at clearing up the fuzzy parts.

“Hi,” you say quickly, not knowing what else to say.

“Hi,” he says just as fast, his eyes looking all over your face, lingering on the bruise for a few seconds before he steps forward. “I’m so sorry, I-”

You close your eyes tightly at the quick step back you took, not wanting him to feel even more guilty, but you couldn’t help it. The second he moved towards you had you stepping away without meaning to, flashbacks of his tight and unrelenting grip on you from last night filling your head.

The look he gave you broke any remaining piece of your heart. He looked defeated and tired and frustrated all at once.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter and look away.

“No, no, I’m sor-” he cut himself off when he realised you couldn’t even look at him. He sighs in defeat and lets his shoulders visibly fall. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m-” you try to lighten the mood that was darkening by the second. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried.”

“Are…” He trailed off. “Are you okay?”

You sighed heavily. “I will be,” you say, your shaky voice adding to your words. “I just need time.”

Nick sighed, relieved that you were at least somewhat okay, and reached out to you.

“Away from you,” you add, stepping away from him again and watching as his face contorts to a pained expression. “I-I’m sorry, Nick. I know it wasn’t you who hurt me last night, but it looked like you. It’s going to take me some time to trust you and be comfortable around you again. I’m so sorry.”

Nick swallows hard and looks down at the ground. He felt as if his heart had been physically ripped out and thrown onto the dirt beneath him. How had you gone from being so in love to you being completely terrified of him in one night?

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this empty, heartbroken and scared all at once. He could feel you slipping away from him despite you standing a mere two feet away. You and him had always had a connection that ran deeper than either of you probably even realised, and the fact that he was the reason that connection was being severed made him want to drive his fist through the nearest wall. Maybe then he’d feel even a sliver of the pain he caused you and maybe then the guilt would be more bearable.

“I understand,” he says, the words hurting him more than you could possibly know. Truly, he did. He remembered everything now and he knew he would never forgive himself, so why would you forgive him? He should’ve fought harder to stay in control. He should’ve protected you. “I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t you. I know that,” you say quietly. You could feel your heart breaking with every passing second, but you continued. “I want you to know that. It wasn’t you.”

It was true. Nick had proven on more than one occasion that he would never hurt you and would do everything he could to make sure you were safe. The whole reason he got bit was so you wouldn’t.

“I love you,” Nick felt his heart skip a beat at your words. You still loved him, even after everything that happened. You loved him, but didn’t trust him. “You know that.”

“I love you, too,” he replied instantly, feeling the sting of tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He looked at your bruised skin and the dried blood on your shirt and lip, his heart deflating at the sight. “I love you more than anything. I’m sorry.”

Nick wasn’t cured. He knew that. As long as he carried this curse, you wouldn’t be safe with him.

And he’d die before he let himself hurt you again.

As you stand outside Jacob’s new apartment, you bring your hand up to knock on the door for the third time. You knew he was home as he had told you a few days ago that he would be available to hang out with you.

That didn’t seem to be the case, though, as it’s now your fourth time knocking on the door and being met with complete silence.

You were about to turn around and come back later when you heard the familiar voice that only belonged to Jacob. “I’m coming, fucks sake,”

The door swung open to reveal Jacob in nothing but dark grey boxers. He had one hand on the door knob and the other on his head, scratching at his scalp and making his hair even more messy.

“Y/n,” he greeted you, smiling at you that only lasted a second.

“Hi,” you say back quickly, tightening your hold on your duffle bag. “Are you just getting up now?”

Jacob turns his head to the right and looks at the bright green numbers on his stove that read 12:56. “No,” it was an obvious lie but it had your brows raising and lips turning upwards. “What’s up?”

“Are you still looking for a roommate?” You ask and play with your fingers, a hopeful look on your face. “I know having a girl as a roommate is probably the lamest thing ever, but I swear, if I have to see my parent’s looks of pity one more time I will stab my eyes out with a fork.”

Jacob laughed, his hand dropping to his side as he shook his head. “It’s that bad, huh?”

“You have no idea,”

He nodded, his eyes squinting at the harsh sunlight that was flooding his vision. “Maybe not,”

“If it’s too much trouble or anything like that, Kaitlyn said I could crash at her house until I find a place of my own,” you trail off. “But, if you let me stay, I could help you pay rent and cook dinners. Nick taught me a lot at summer camp.”

Jacob looked surprised for a second before he tried and failed to cover up his shocked expression with a nonchalant nod.

But you saw right through him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. “You mentioned Nick, is all.”

At this, your own face contorted into a surprised expression. “Oh,” you say quietly. “Yeah, I did.”

You hadn’t meant to say his name, let alone allow the thoughts of him to take over your mind like they were now doing. The truth was, you missed Nick more than anything. He was your rock for nearly a year and to go from seeing him everyday to avoiding him like the plague was hard.

You weren’t fully healed from his wounds yet. Physically, you recovered, but you still saw his glowing yellow eyes and his dark, wicked grin every time you fell asleep. It was like a never ending nightmare where you were scared of him, but at the same time all you wanted was to feel safe with him again.

Silence falls over the two of you, both of you looking at the ground before Jacob gives you a genuine look of concern. “Have you talked to him lately?”

“No,” you answer almost immediately. “Have you?”

“When he actually answers the phone,” Jacob muttered, shaking his head. “Yeah.”

The silence returns and you start to fiddle with the strap of your bag. “Um, I can find somewhere else to stay,” you break the quietness with your equally quiet voice. “I don’t want to impose.”

Jacob stands up straight. “No,” he says. “It’s fine. I’d rather have you living with me than some random guy.” He took your bag from you, slinging it over his own shoulders.

“Really?”

“Of course,” he smiles at you. “Is this all you have?”

You nod. “Yeah. I kinda threw a bunch of stuff out when I got home from camp,” you mumble. “Bad memories.”

“I get it,” he stepped back, extending his arm out to you. “Well, until you get settled, everything that’s mine is yours.”

You take his hand and allow him to tug you into his apartment. “Thanks, Jacob. Seriously,” you squeeze his hand. “I’d hug you but it might be awkward considering you’re almost naked.”

“Right,” he trailed off. “I’m going to put your bag in your room and quickly get dressed. We’ll go out and spend the rest of the day together to celebrate you moving in.”

“Sounds perfect,” you say and he grins at you, walking in the direction of the bedrooms and disappearing into his room.

As you looked around the boyish apartment, you couldn’t help but feel bittersweet. Sweet, because you weren’t alone anymore and were now living with a close friend, and bitter because you always thought that you’d be living with Nick once you moved out of your parents house.

You and Nick had talked many times about it, both of you agreeing that you should try and find a place together once you returned home from camp. Since the moment you met him, you always imagined that it would be Nick who would be your first roommate, while also being your boyfriend.

Now, it was clear that he would not be your first roommate, and if you were being honest, you weren’t sure if you were even still together at this point. For all you knew, you were on an unofficial break.

It had been just over a month since you last spoke to him at camp. You saw him around town many times, each time you felt your heart pulling further and further away from your body and closer to the brown haired boy who was far too amazing to be so broken.

You missed him, but you weren’t ready to face him.

“You’re going to have to sleep on the couch until your bed arrives,” Jacob says as he holds the door to the furniture store open for you. “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” you say and walk next to him down the busy sidewalk. “I’m just glad I have somewhere to stay.”

“You have somewhere to call home, Y/n,” Jacob says, smiling at you as you stop walking. “I just have to tell the landlord that I found a roommate and we’ll be good to go.”

He looks to the side and you notice the sudden change in his expression almost immediately. He was looking at something, or someone, with the same look Nick used to give you.

You quickly rid the thoughts of him and look at whatever caught Jacob’s attention and see a blonde girl with hazel eyes looking at him. She brings her hand up in a shy wave, her cheeks turning a light pink when he returns it.

“Who’s that?” You tease, nudging his side with your elbow.

“Huh?” He quickly turns to look at you. “Oh her? Um, that’s Mikaela. I’ve seen her around a few times now.”

“You’re into her,” you say and watch as his face turns red, shaking his head when you nod. “You so are.”

“I might be into her,” he says nonchalantly.

“So go talk to her,”

“What?”

You laugh at how quickly he said it, putting your hand on his arm and gently pushing him in her direction. “Go talk to her. Ask her to hang out for a bit,”

“But I’m hanging out with you,” he looked conflicted but you made the decision for him as you backed away.

“We live together now, we can hang out literally everyday,” you point out as he looks at you, then Mikaela, then back at you. “Go, Jacob, it’s fine. I’m just going to buy a couple personal things, anyway. I really don’t think you want to be there for that.”

“That I probably don’t,” he trailed off. “Okay. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Okay,” he grabs your wrist before you could fully turn around.

“Thanks, Y/n,”

“Don’t thank me yet,” you answer, giving him a teasing smile. “You don’t know how you two get along yet. Thank me later.”

“Okay,” he says and nods, turning around and making his way to the blonde girl. “I’ll see you at home.”

Home.

Your heart fluttered at the sound of that word. You still couldn’t believe he actually wanted you to move in with him. Jacob had been your friend for a few months prior to you being a counselor with him at Hackett’s Quarry, but it was during camp that you and him really bonded.

He and Nick were like your two bodyguards the entire time, constantly helping you out, even with the easiest of tasks, but you were grateful nonetheless.

“Okay,” your voice was quiet and you were sure he didn’t hear you as he walked up to Mikaela and almost immediately started a conversation with her.

You watched as she laughed at whatever he said, her hand coming up to rest on his arm.

Without meaning to, your mind thinks back to all the times your own hand was placed on Nick’s arm as he joked with you. His jokes were rarely funny, but it was the way he said them that made you laugh every single time.

You missed him.

You tear your eyes away from Jacob and turn around. Almost instantly you collide with someone and you would’ve lost your balance had their hands not reached out and held onto your arms.

“I’m sorry,” the all too familiar Australian accent you adored was all you heard before you quickly looked up. Your eyes widened at the sight of Nick, your heart skipping a beat when his eyes meet yours. “Y/n.”

“Nick,” you say back. Silence falls upon the two of you as his eyes stay locked on you while yours look down at his hands.

They were still holding your arms, the first physical touch you and him have had since the night he threw you against the wall of the pool shed.

He noticed your stare and immediately dropped his hands, taking a step away from you. “I’m sorry,”

You shake your head at his panicked tone. “It’s okay,” you answer honestly. “How have you been?”

Nick looked surprised that you had started a conversation but he also wasn’t about to miss the opportunity to talk to you again. “I’m okay,” he said. “I’ve been missing my girlfriend.”

His words hurt your heart more than he probably knew and you look down, nodding once. “Yeah,” at least this was confirmation that you were still together, just not together. “I miss you too.”

“Then come back to me,” he said almost desperately.

“It’s not that simple,”

“Why not?” He sighed, frustration getting the better of him. “Why can’t we just go back to being us? Fuck, it kills me to not see you everyday. I miss talking to you and being with you, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Nick,” you mumble. “It’s just t- this is too much for me right now. I’m sorry.”

You walk around him and quickly make your way down the sidewalk. Nick refrained from reaching out to you to continue talking about it. He knew that if he were to grab you without warning, your mind would no doubt go back to that night. So, he just turned and watched as you walked away from him, taking his heart with you as you disappeared from his sight.

It had been two weeks since you last spoke to Nick, and two weeks since you moved in with Jacob. It was different than what you expected it to be. Jacob was a lot messier than you thought, though he tried to keep his messes out of the communal areas of the apartment and more in his room and the bathroom.

You didn’t mind much, he was a boy and it wasn’t unusual for them to be messy. You couldn’t remember how many times Nick invited you over and you spent most of your time tidying his room than actually hanging out with him.

Nick enters your mind once more and you’re beginning to become annoyed at the fact that everything in your life seemed to remind you of him.

It was Friday evening and you had been home alone for the majority of the day. Jacob greeted you in the morning before he left for work and once he returned home later in the day, he was in the shower and out the door again. He had been so excited all week about tonight. It was the night he and Mikaela would be going on their first official date and he would not shut up about it.

It warmed your heart to see your close friend be so happy about a potential lover. But, like everything in your life, it came with a price.

While Jacob was rarely home and spending time with his soon to be girlfriend, you were left alone with your cruel thoughts. You had hoped that you’d feel less miserable when you moved in. Jacob was the funniest guy you knew and he made you laugh countless times over the summer, and you did laugh now, but not as much as you thought you would.

The sound of thunder broke you from your thoughts and you were brought back to reality. It was pouring outside and it made the already dark sky even darker.

You refused to spend another Friday night sad, so you reached over and grabbed your phone, planning on ordering a pizza. Just as another round of thunder struck, the sound of rapid knocks filled the empty apartment. You jumped and accidentally dropped your phone. You sighed as you watched it fall in between the cushions and onto the floor under the couch.

Deciding to worry about it later, you make your way to the door when you hear the knocking continue. Without looking to see who it was, you swing open the door. “Back already, huh-” you immediately cut yourself off when you see an all too familiar person staring back at you. “Nick.”

Standing there, completely soaked was Nick.

Your mind goes back to the last time you saw him like this.

It was time to forget about that night. It wasn’t him.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, stepping away from the doorframe once you feel the raindrops fall onto your sock-covered feet. “Did you run all the way here?”

“I walked,” he said, his arms wrapping around himself. “But yes.”

“Oh my God,” you muttered, your hand reaching out and twisting in his grey shirt, pulling him into the apartment before you could even realise what you were doing. He closed the door and leaned against it while you stood there, playing with your fingers. “Are you cold?”

Nick shook his head and you were left to stand in silence.

Attempting to break the awkward tension, you spoke up as you turned to face the hallway. “I’ll get you a towel-”

“Y/n,” his voice stopped you in your tracks. He sounded so broken and completely worn out. And if you were being honest, he didn’t look much better.

He was slimmer now, as if he had hardly been eating, his eyes were tired and red, purple marks prominent underneath them due to lack of sleep. He looked how you felt.

“What,” you say but it wasn’t a question. Nick just looked at you, making no move to approach you and you felt the tension coming back. “Why did you come here, Nick?”

His response was instant. “I needed to see you,”

“Why?”

“Because I love you,”

You closed your eyes at the three words that held so much emotion, biting the inside of your cheek to keep calm. “Two weeks ago,” you started, keeping your eyes anywhere but on him. “When you touched me…I was brought back to that night. That was the last memory I had of you touching me.”

Nick’s heart dropped at the realisation that you had been dealing with a lot more things than he had, and he dropped his head to stare at the floor. Not only did he put his hands on you in a way that caused you physical pain, but he gave you trauma because of it. He felt sick and beyond angry at himself.

“But two weeks ago, I wasn’t scared like I was that night,” you continue, making Nick’s head snap up, his eyes on you. “And I’m not scared now.”

Nick felt his heart inflate with a sliver of hope.

“I should be, but I’m not,”

“I love you,” Nick said, not knowing what else to say as you were finally beginning to let him in again.

“I love you, too,”

Nick’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He remembers in vivid detail the last time you told him that, the morning after he scarred you. You said it with such a distant expression, and back then he knew where it was leading to. But now, you look so much different.

He wasn’t sure where it was heading this time, but his hopeful heart was burning with a desperate need for you to be in his life again. That much he knew.

“I swear to you,” he said, standing up straight but not moving towards you. He’d be damned if he moved too fast in such a fragile environment. “I will never, ever hurt you again. It’s been complete hell since you….said you needed time away from me. I’ve never felt this miserable in my entire life. Fuck, we were so happy, and I hate the fact that I’m the reason we’re not anymore.”

You shook your head, opening your mouth to speak but Nick cut you off.

“No, it’s all my fault. I hurt you in more ways than one, and I will never forgive myself for it,” Nick mumbled, watching as the water drops from his hair hit the mat below him. “I don’t blame you if you can’t either. It’s unforgivable.”

“Nick,” you say quietly. “I forgive you.”

It felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders at your words, his brow twitching as he held himself back from going over to you.

“I’m sorry, too,” was all you said before you began to walk towards him. Nick couldn’t help himself as he met you halfway, his hands lifting upwards to ghost over the sides of your face. He wouldn’t let himself touch you until you let him know that it was okay. Your hands gripped his wrists as you allowed him to caress either side of your face. “I’m sorry for not saying this sooner.”

Nick shook his head quickly, his cold hands making goosebumps appear on your skin. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he mumbled, pressing his forehead against yours. “Ever. You hear me?”

You nod, closing your eyes and inching your mouth towards his. “I love you,” you murmur, closing the remaining space between the two of you. Your lips against his felt like coming home again after so long. It felt right and you wondered how you went so long without it.

“I love you so much,” he said against your mouth, kissing you again as his hands moved down to hold onto your waist, his grip on you desperate. He couldn’t believe he was kissing you again after so long. It felt as if everything was finally where it should be. “I’m so sorry.”

You pulled away and held onto his shoulders, bringing him down so your head could rest in the crook of his neck. “It’s okay,”

You stayed like that for what felt like forever, holding onto one another with everything you had in you. Nick had successfully made your clothing as wet as his, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You were back together and were left wondering how you spent so long without each other when it was so painstakingly obvious that you belonged together.

There was a question that neither of you had the answer to, however.

What would happen on the next full moon?

#nick furcillo imagine #Nick Furcillo smut #nick furcillo fluff #nick furcillo x reader #nick furcillo #evan evagora #evan evagora imagines #evan evagora x reader #the quarry smut #the quarry x reader #the quarry game #The Quarry #the quarry imagines #angst #fluff

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christinesficrecs · 1 year

Note

I'm looking for stiles and Peter being sassy friends can you help? I love all your recommendations

Maybe these ones. Also, you can check the time travel fics.

Trust Fall by Stoney | 144.2K | Explicit

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.

Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack | 26K | Mature

"Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained.

Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time.

The Awkward Love Life Of A Sheltered College Werewolf by AllTheseSquaresMakeACircle | 30.1K | Explicit

Derek had been used to being home schooled. Being used to be surrounded by pack, and nothing but pack. When he decides he's going to attend college, like a normal person, his family has a fit. Derek goes anyway. It's scary and new and exciting. Then he meets Stiles. Then...Things get even more exciting.

Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 68.3K

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

A Wolf's Ribbon by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 36K | Explicit

Derek had been coached on how to approach the child heir apparent while hundreds of eyes watched him. He kept his eyes focused on the cradle, leaning over the edge as best he could to see the baby everyone had been talking about.

Stiles smiled when he saw Derek, kicking his legs out as he reached a hand up for him. He cooed at Derek, his fingers grabbing at the older boy in an attempt to touch him, all to no avail. He gurgled out a laugh when Derek reached a hand down into the cradle, snatching hold of his fingers as best he could.

Derek offered a small smile in response, allowing Stiles to playfully tug on his hand.

The two children made an adorable sight before the Court and their parents. That was the moment Queen Talia and King John decided to arrange their marriage. Every second was planned out without the voiced concern of the children.

Not Quite a Séance by ash_mcj | 5.4K

“We’re in the future,” Laura realized. “Like… literally, the future.”

“There’s still no flying cars,” Stiles told her solemnly. “We do have pretty cool cell phones, though.”

“What do you mean we should be dead?” Talia asked.

“Would you like a dictionary?” Peter offered. “I’m sure we have one around here somewhere.”

Divided We Stand by KouriArashi | 156.7K | Mature | Series

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

Of Eclipses, Ley Lines, and Full Shift Werewolves by tabbytabbytabby | 26.9K

Derek has been noticing his control slipping in the days leading up to the Solar Eclipse. When he goes to look over the Hale land with Peter something happens, forcing both him and Peter to shift into full wolves. Stiles finds them, discovering that Derek has been changed into a wolf pup with none of his memories, only able to recognize people by their scent. After a talk with Deaton Stiles discovers there are ley lines in Beacon Hills, specifically on the Hale property, which caused Derek and Peter to shift. Unfortunately for them there's nothing they can do to reverse it except sit and wait. Which is easier said than done when none of the pack can understand why Derek only wants to be around Stiles.

A Clerical Mix-Up by DiscontentedWinter

Imagine all the irritation when peter/sheriff and stiles/derek having a double wedding. "Would you mister stilinski marry mister hale?" // Imagine they send the wrong Hale to the sighning because they're late.

#asks #sterek fics #ficrecs #itsangelofdarkness #good peter hale #stiles and peter brotp

157 notes · View notes

buckybarnesss · 4 months

Text

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 17-19 and final thoughts previous chapter

it is done. the final installment of on fire is here and i am finally free.

thank you @dear-massacre for listening to me rant about this book and encouraging me to finish it.

and a thank you to @give-emhalekid for inspiring this re-read of on fire to begin with. i can finally answer your asks appropriately!

in addition to my notes and final thoughts on this novel i did make contact with the author nancy holder and have been sitting on that email for over a month now. so i'll be talking about that too.

anyway.

We start this chapter in Kate’s narration in yet another flashback to six years prior. This is when she gets information out of Mr. Harris.

The bar is called Randy Andy’s by the way. Which, and it may just be me, makes me fully believe this bar is playing Brooks and Dunn's 1991 hit Boot Scootin' Boogie on repeat.

She mentions that Harris hadn’t seen her around the school but she had pinpointed him quickly as someone weak and that she could use. This tracks.

She gets what she wants out of Harris and as she leaves the bar (which is handily across from her apartment) she sees Derek leaving with his school bag. She freaks out worried he’s onto her or found something in her apartment.

She follows him home just to be sure she’s in the clear. Like a freak.

When she returns she finds a note Derek left her explaining what happened.

However, feeling as though she could’ve been exposed, Kate decides to up the timetable of setting the fire.

Because we cannot have nice things.

We then get a small scene where she’s filling the gas cans and apparently Alt Version of Mr. McCall is the gas station attendant but he’s on the phone arguing with Melissa over money and blaming her for things. He's actually worse than canon Mr. McCall which I didn't think was possible.

Kate goes on to have her inner celebration and reminisce over her seduction of Derek. You know, just girlie things.

Once again the timeline is throwing me off. Holder places the Hale fire near Wolf Moon which makes the show starting around the same time a nice call forward but she also has homecoming around the same time. Derek muses about Kate being a chaperone for the dance and Laura is at school that morning to attend a committee meeting for the dance. For me, Homecoming was always during the Football season in September. Not that I ever went but this in January if it’s the Wolf Moon. Football season is over. This doesn't make any sense to me.

We finally return to both the present day and to Derek and Stiles. It’s been 84 years. I've aged lifetimes.

Derek tells Stiles that you can’t trust human women and leaves him once more as Derek has caught the Alpha’s scent. This is Bizzaro Derek.

Holder has given us two different wolf references mere pages from each other. She has Derek listen to Wolfgang Gartner and Stiles apparently playing Wolfenstein on his phone (this may be Wolfenstien RPG which apparently came out on mobile in 2008).

I looked up Wolfgang Gartner -- because this is what I do -- and according to Wikipedia the earliest single he released under this particular name was in 2007 which would be after the fire. He does however have a single called Hot for Teacher. I am going to fight the author.

We’re back in Scott’s narration now. He’s not having a good time. There’s smoke making everything hazy and he senses the werewolf that bit him. He calls it his “waking, walking nightmare.” and the wolf side of him is conflicted by the threat but also by the sense of pack.

Through the haze Scott does see the Alpha and they make eye contact. Once again Scott refuses to kill like in Pack Mentality. He references the incident by name.

A burning tree falls down because of course it does. Some of the sparks get on Scott so he has to remove his jacket and shirt. This is Teen Wolf after all.

Scott fights the shift trying to figure out how to save himself and Allison from the blaze.

Allison begins to become overwhelmed by the smoke and goes into a coughing fit.’ Which, heh, kinda fits with Scott having asthma previously before the bite.

Next chapter opens back on Jackson who is still having a very bad time. His vision is doubled and tripled as he passes out.

Scott remembers that Allison once did gymnastics and suggests that she use those skills to get out so he lifts her up and she somersaults out I suppose. Like a goddamned Power Ranger.

I swear Stiles is the author’s least favorite. Stiles hears a howl and begins looking for Scott and or Derek. He’s yelling for them both as he attempts to track Scott’s phone. Derek shows up with a “Yeah.”

Though I’ll admit this exchange made me laugh:

“Yeah,” Derek said, bursting from the trees. He was wolfed out, and Stiles let fly with a high-pitched, girly scream. “Was that you?” Stiles yelled. “No, that was you,” Derek said in disgust. “I mean the howl.”

Derek tries to assure Stiles the Alpha needs Scott but Stiles reminds him that he doesn’t need Allison. Derek says he also doesn’t need Allison which is a sentiment that Stiles disagrees with. Canon Derek would never.

They talk about mountain ash because Derek recognizes it from the pictures Scott was able to send. The explanation holds up fairly well to what we’re told in the show.

They find Scott and Stiles tries to instruct him but he’s in a state of panic. Derek points out that he cannot make sense of what Stiles is trying to tell him due to the panic.

E x c u s e M e. What the fuck did I just read?

Stiles wants to call 911 so a fire truck can gain access but Derek warns against it due to Scott being shifted. Derek then takes a swing at Stiles, Stiles shoves him and Derek falls off the cliff.

I am so tired.

This is a Stiles accurate line at least: “So many times, Stiles had wished for Derek to up and die. But he hadn’t meant for him to really die. Except that maybe had meant for him to really die. Just maybe not in pain, and not in front of Stiles.”

Scott pounces on Derek and they tussle. Stiles is conflicted on who he’s cheering for.

Scott doesn’t have a shirt on.

And a moment later --

“A wind washed through the tops of the bushes and showered Derek with fiery debris, setting his jacket on fire.”

Derek rips off his jacket (RIP jacket) and his shirt now leaving him also shirtless.

I see you Teen Wolf. The Weather Girls It's Raining Men is the unofficial anthem.

Stiles calls 911 because he clearly is the one holding the brain cell.

We’re back to Allison. She’s running through the woods calling for help when she spots what could only be the Alpha as she calls it an evil animal. It stalks closer to her but it moves away and she sees the wolf that she and Scott had seen earlier.

The “good” wolf’s presence seems to scare off the Alpha. It then guides Allison to safety. This wolf is never explained but it gives me Expecto Patronum vibes.

Except her safety is Kate.

Allison is now lying her ass off about why she was at the Preserve rather than with Lydia and Kate’s questioning her hard.

I had forgotten about Jackson. The van exploded by the way as the police came into the parking lot. He feels momentarily guilty about Cassie then he promptly passes out, which honestly I don’t blame him for. He’s had a shitty day.

Meanwhile back at Werewolf Rumble Derek is able to bring Scott back to himself and just as they begin to try to escape they accidentally do the memory ritual via Derek’s claws accidentally slicing Scott’s wrist and you know what? I don’t care anymore.

We get one last flashback to Derek and Laura post fire. They’re at their burned home and insane with grief. In the remains Derek finds that stupid ring he gave Kate because she’s so evil and terrible. Like. Fucking hell.

We cut to Jackson being taken to the hospital and Lydia ignoring the paramedics to ride with him. He feels guilty about Cassie’s death and tries to convince himself there was nothing he could do. In truth, there probably wasn’t. He ends up wondering if Bailey had really known about his biological father.

Allison at this point does in fact find it sus that Kate just happened to be out driving to the fire but she doesn’t examine anything too closely yet as she finds Scott and Stiles. She’s relieved that Scott's okay.

The book ends with Derek watching the scene from afar. Kate catches his eye and taunts him one last time because of course Kate does. Derek doesn’t respond.

The final line is kind of baller though. “There are more of us, bent on payback. And domination. And death. And we are coming.”

Some parting thoughts:

I remember mostly enjoying this book back when I first read it upon it's release in 2012. I think it's because I was so thirsty for more backstory on the characters and more adventures in the world.

There's a post somewhere on my blog about the book somewhere but re-reading ten years later I was definitely more critical of it and found it to be a frustrating endeavor. Maybe it's because I'm older or maybe it's because the show is over.

Largely I think it's because the book itself had no real resolution. It couldn't but I'll explain that later.

Even if there's reason for the open-ended nature of the novel it's still genuinely frustrating especially because this is a stand alone novel with no follow up.

I thought there were too many flashbacks and not enough time spent on the actual plot. Jackson is the entire plot yet we spend very little time with him in the book and he never actually interacts with the main cast except with Lydia through a text. Fucking wild. Some of Jackson's best character stuff is when he's bouncing off the other characters so it was a real shame he didn't interact with them.

The biggest issue I have though is with Derek's characterization. It just doesn't even seem like Derek to me even early season 1 Derek. The whole human slander isn't ever a thing with him.

I loathed how Laura was handled. The information we have on Laura doesn't even fill a thimble but I'd rather not know a damn thing than this version where she said the word "mateable" and isn't all that bothered by her sixteen year old brother being involved with not only an older woman but a teacher that has authority over him. Her reaction shuts Derek down so he no longer expresses his misgivings. I couldn't tell if this was on purpose or not.

I also didn't like how Stiles felt like the unfavorite here. Holder, I think had a decent grasp of his voice, but not how others reacted to him.

I also have mixed feelings about the world building Holder did via the werewolves. There were aspects I did like but overall I found it too heavy handed and too patriarchal. I think the direction the show took it was better. Talia Hale is a much better and more interesting choice.

I still do not understand why this book was commissioned at all. It isn't canon and it doesn't even follow the plot of season 1. Basically this was a promotional tool that fell short in my opinion. A waste of Holder's talent and the reader's interest.

However, there are reasons for some of this though like I said.

Back in November when I was in the middle of the book I did some research because I was insanely curious as to why this book was written the way it was. I found Nancy Holder's website which had a contact form.

I screwed up my courage and sent her a brief message asking about why the novel only referred to the first 5 episodes while largely being it's own plot. It's very unusual for a tie in novel

She answered really quickly and while her explanation didn't surprise me it still sort of did.

Essentially she was given a lot of freedom in developing her own plot as she was instructed to not give away any spoilers for the second half of the season. Which is why there's hardly anything to do with the Alpha plot line and Peter is largely left alone.

According to Holder, she is the one who asked Jeff if she would be able to fill in Derek and Kate's backstory so that whole plot is her own creation and he told to "go for it".

I think a lot of fanon seems to possibly originate with her due to this freedom which is interesting.

She's a huge fan of Teen Wolf and I found it super endearing even if I didn't like all her writing choices.

In conclusion:

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #on fire: a teen wolf novel #heather reads #[casts this book into the fire]#look mom i completed it before the end of the year!

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son-of-a-binkibonky · 5 days

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ok hear me out.

chapter 7…

is important, and i like that we’re given the information through laura telling the others what happened.

‘time passes’ is one of my favorite tracks from the ost.

it is however, very long. replaying the game multiple times, it sort of just feels like a hurdle to overcome.

i think it could be because a lot of the events has to happen each time. it’s a re-telling of the past, the only thing i’ve found that can impact the game later on is laura’s relationship with travis. none of them stand a chance of dying or anything.

it also takes place just as things are ramping up. nick just exploded, but lest reminisce some. i’m not sure what they could’ve cut, but i really do feel like it could’ve been shorter. or at least more eventful?

maybe it would’ve fit better at a different point in the game, but as it stands, it feels a little off to me

#the quarry #supermassive games #hacketts quarry #ted raimi #laura kearney #max brinly #travis hackett #ryan erzahler #jacob custos #dylan lenivy #nick furcillo #kaitlyn ka #abigail blyg #emma mountebank

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dragonflame36 · 11 months

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Man I disappeared from tumblr for a while and came back and Liam O’Brian Stan’s still have massive victim complexes. I’ve genuinely never seen a group of people complain and whine more, legitimately EVERYTHING is an attack on his characters and him.

Also love they still shit on other characters to lift his up somethings that’s been happening since early C2. In all honestly if Liam’s character can’t have a romantic relationship with you the tolerance level drops massively. Their love for Jester is completely dependent on if it’s romantic or not, if not she’s a selfish awful person, if it is a nuanced character who needs someone like Caleb.

This is like the 1st campaign where his character isn’t massively front and center and y’all can’t take it. Laura, Marisha and others get just a tad bit more to do and y’all cry. Caleb last campaign all the way up until the last episode could’ve fucked over all his friends and you guys were fine with it. Imogen having complex feelings about her mother and why she left, completely irredeemable and the fandom is making excuses for her, no it’s just a nuanced character.

Just to preface love Liam, Orym is my 2nd favorite character and Vax was my 1st but man tumblr makes it so much harder to like his characters.

#laudna #critical role #cr discourse #cr spoilers

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door-insurance · 5 months

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God I hated life is strange before the storm

They ruined Rachel

Did she need this stupid convoluted ass backstory? What’s the point of reuniting her with her real mom? It never comes up in the first game, it’s irrelevant

Laura palmers convoluted backstory was relevant to the main narrative of twin peaks

Also Elliot

Why? Chloe got enough problems dealing with Rachel, frank, that drug dealer, grief, school and they only got 3 episodes to unpack that shit

Step is pretty cool im always down for lesbians of color

Sorry if I’m being negative but ugh I hate bts, could’ve just been a 3 episode dlc to the original life is strange

#life is strange #lis #life is strange before the storm #lis bts #chloe price #rachel amber #steph gingrich #lis Elliot

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misty-caligula · 1 year

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To preface this, I’m going to be talking about growing up in a really generalised way, it’s not meant to be read as a critique of people or as prescriptivist. It’s just an overall framework, from my own point of view.

I think that growing up, graduating from childhood into adulthood, has less to do with age and more to do with personal experience. Because when it comes down to it I think that what’s most critical in the difference between an adult and an adolescent is that adults tend to put a lot more thought into our decision making process.

That’s NOT to say “Oh dumb teenagers don’t think about stuff.” Instead, I mean that those of us with more life experience have more experience of failure. Tend to be more aware of what failure means, in practical, real world terms. We’ve seen and felt and had to find solutions to the consequences of our actions, and through doing so we’ve learned not only how to mitigate those consequences, but also ... which decisions we absolutely do not want to repeat. We more appreciate and value the experience of peace and calm and stability because we’ve had our fill of chaos and the discomfort and pain that comes with it. And so when we make any kind of life choice we’re more likely to really think it through based on what consequences we can REALLY tollerate dealing with, what risks we can REALLY accept. And we learned that by ... fucking around and finding out.

The yellowjacket teens are really showing that process in full swing, and I think it’s such a big part of what I love about it.

Shauna, pre-crash, had unprotected sex with Jeff. She knew, logically, that there was a chance that this could lead to pregnancy. But it was a very ... theoretical, vague kind of knowledge. In the same way that you know, in theory, that if you don’t wear a seatbelt you might die in a crash. It was a bad decision on her part (no judgement but it was) which could’ve been easily mitigated, if only the reality of the consequences were more clear to her. Post-stillbirth Shauna is going to be radically different. To her the consequences are VERY clear, very real, very personal. If she were transported back to that night with Jeff she’d not have done it, even if she didn’t know for SURE what was going to happen, where they’d end up. She’d just have a deeper conception of what consequences REALLY look like, in practice. What a choice that you cannot take back really feels like.

Misty smashed the flight recorder, potentially dooming the entire team. Whether or not that’s why they’re not being rescued is irrelevant, it’s what she believes. She did it on the first day, in a very emotionally fragile and intense situation. This was a TERRIBLE fucking choice, but ... she didn’t think it through. She couldn’t have, fundamentally, understood what she was doing. Because the consequences again were so theoretical, so vague. And because she was running on a high of perceived competency, she was sure that she’d help them all out, be a hero. She might well have thought that she was just delaying rescue, that at some point they’d work it out and she’d just be a big hero. The true consequences of her action only begin to really hit months afterwards. When Laura Lee died, when Jackie did too, then Crystal and now the baby... Misty knows it’s all her fault. And the blood is literally on her hands. Things are only going to get worse from here, and this Misty, this 9 months older version, covered in blood and full of guilt, wouldn’t have smashed the box. Given the choice she’d have gone back and undone it. But she can’t. Sometimes we make choices that have HORRIFIC consequences, and then all we can do is survive them, and hopefully learn from them. That’s what growth IS. We learn from mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that those mistakes are any less disastrous.

I think this is fundamentally what the yellowjacket adults are missing. Their refusal to acknowledge and process their past - and the decisions they made and the consequences that came of them - robs them of the capacity to learn from those choices. They’re stunted in their growth, frozen in place. For all their extra years in so many ways they still haven’t grown up. Instead they’ve all built coping mechanisms to hold their trauma and pain so they can pretend to function as well as possible and hide the fact that they’re all so ... stuck.

And a large part of that really comes down, I feel, to guilt. They’re making a fundamental mistake where they’re judging the actions of their younger selves by their current realities. Shauna cannot realistically relate to pre-crash Shauna anymore, and cannot understand - or forgive - herself for her irresponsibility. Misty is so full of self-hatred and guilt, blames herself for everything, she can’t possibly look at that tiny version of herself with compassion and understanding and say “You fucked up so bad, but I won’t because you did.” They’re putting the consequences of their choices before the decision making which is a really common error people have when they regret things. They make a choice that goes badly, then they regret the choice because of what happened afterwards. But if it had worked out - even if it was STILL a bad choice - they wouldn’t regret it. And they can’t acknowledge or appreciate that error because they’re not processing or analyzing their choices properly, which is keeping them stranded in time.

As an adult it is SO hard to look back at a younger you with compassion and care, to say “Oh, look at you screwing up, don’t worry you’ll learn not to be so hurt. You’ll learn how to find your stride.” And I say that having NOT actually gotten lots of people killed or eaten my friends in the wilderness. I’m not exactly proud of many of the choices I made, but I can only imagine how much harder it’d be with their level of guilt and trauma, to say “It’s okay, I was a kid, what’s done is done and all I can do is do better.”

#yellowjackets #spoilers

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triskhellion · 6 months

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15 Shades of Red

Rated: Explicit (3.5k | WIP 1/18)

Relationships: Derek/Stiles, Stiles & Isaac, Derek & Malia, Derek & Isaac, The Family, background Boyd/Erica, Lydia/Jackson/Danny, Heather/Kira

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Malia Tate, Talia Hale, Peter Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd, Kira Yukimura, Heather, Cora Hale, Laura Hale, Matt Daehler, Braeden, etc.

Tags: POV Stiles, POV Derek, Graphic Violence, Mob AU, Spark Stiles, Omega Derek, Mob Boss Stiles, Mob Boss/Pack Alpha Talia, Creeper Stiles, Power Imbalance, Sharing a Bed, Touch-Starved Derek, Getting Together, Angst & Fluff & Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Blood, Kidnapping, Torture, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Minor Character Deaths, Explicit Sexual Content, (Mostly) Bottom Derek/Top Stiles, Virgin Derek, Light BDSM, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Knotting, First Time Bottoming, Murder Husbands, Mpreg (in epilogue,) Happy Ending.

Summary: Derek is the 23 year old omega son of Alpha Boss Talia Hale, the only non-alpha born to the Hales in at least four generations. Restricted by his overprotective mother after a past kidnapping and misunderstood by the alphas and betas of the Pack, he longs for more than the boring life he's been consigned to and the suitors only interested in him for his name or body.

Stiles became the head of the Stilinski branch of the Gajoš Family at 19 after both of his parents were gunned down six years apart. With the help of a talented group of friends, the secret Spark with a newly powerful and disturbing Gift took down a slew of rivals to keep control of his territory in Beacon City. Now 21, the infamous Boss with a love for the color red is suddenly given an opportunity to bring the object of his affection, a completely oblivious Derek, into his Family as restitution for an unintended, but significant offense by the Hale Pack. He takes it.

Equiknots: Harvest & Hunter's Moon prompts: 18, Between, Corn Equal, Hunter, Knot, Sanguine, Spice, Super & Travel

Stiles

His cool, calm, and collected demeanor was at odds with the anxiety and anticipation roiling inside. Stiles learned years ago to school his facial expressions, to quiet the fingers that itched to drum on any surface, the feet to tap, or a leg to bounce. At least in public. There were the odd lapses, yes, but he couldn’t afford that today. He had to be the Boss, play the unbothered Blade of infamy.

Of course, the facade alone wouldn’t be worth a damn while in the company of werewolves, but he had other tricks up his sleeve. Or more accurately, hanging from a simple black cord around his neck; the thin, metallic, rune-marked disc the size of an old silver dollar resting flush against his sternum and tucked beneath layers of clothing. A white sleeveless v-neck under a long-sleeved red dress shirt, the shade of which he often used to signal his mood or the tone of the day’s business. (But not always, it wouldn’t do to be completely predictable, not to mention that circumstances often turned on a dime.)

Today he wore a vibrant scarlet, including a matching tie, with his signature charcoal gray 3-piece suit. Bold and triumphant for this was a momentous occasion. Stiles doubted he could’ve engineered a better opportunity himself than the one poised to fall into his lap. Hopefully literally in the not-too-distant future if he played his cards right.

And to think this had all been set into motion by sheer happenstance after more time than he cared to admit spent daydreaming trying to scheme up some kind of proper introduction over the past few years. But there was always some reason why it wasn’t a good time or likely to backfire if not cause a capital I Incident. There was also the part of him that would rather be able to keep his fantasy alive than risk the possibility of being shot down (and not only figuratively.)

But then eleven days ago his childhood best friend, Scott McCall, had been Bitten by Peter Hale.

The werewolf had been out of his mind at the time, drugged by a pretty face working for a rogue Calavera with some specialized strain of wolfsbane and made to go temporarily feral. An excuse for Hunters to “justifiably” attack the powerful Pack no doubt. Without his human side in charge to temper his ambitions — he was strong enough to become a Pack Alpha himself if he’d wanted to — the Left Hand of the Hales went looking for someone to Bite. His first Beta.

For some baffling reason he’d ended up going for Scott when he came across the veterinary student, who was entirely unsuitable for “the life,” walking with a date in the park. The terrified 21 year old managed to call Stiles just before he was actually attacked and when he was found by Isaac in some bushes soon after, bloody but healing, the Boss and Enforcer both knew exactly what was happening.

Isaac had been turned without consent himself several months before, but that Alpha had meant it as punishment for some slight, thinking either Stiles would turn on the new wolf or be killed by him. Instead he restrained Isaac with his power, threw him in a basement room, and slapped a silence rune on it. Then he made a concealment token to keep the change in status under wraps. They quietly figured it out with help from Alpha Satomi Ito, an old friend of Stiles’ mother, and once the blue-eyed wolf had learned enough control they took care of that asshole themselves.

It didn’t escape his notice that despite all of Scott’s issues with him following in his parents footsteps that it had been Stiles that he had called when his life was on the line. So it goes. They’d started growing apart after his mother was killed and the rift between them widened as they continued going through very different experiences. No matter how many times he tried to explain the concept of a power vacuum — that even if he, or previously his father, had wanted to run away from it all that more people would actually be hurt if they did so — Scott just couldn’t understand.

And so Stiles never even considered trying to bring him into to fold or tell him about Isaac being a wolf too. That he could find a pack here or that there were even ways to stick around without one. He called up Satomi and she had him on the way to some sleepy college town in Virginia within a handful of days.

Honestly, the whole situation was for the best for both of them. Scott could go be uncomplicated and enjoy his new lack of asthma with a laid back pack on the other side of the country and Stiles wouldn’t have to worry about him not being part of the Family, but possibly being targeted as an associate. There’d be no more sending anyone to babysit him from afar as he ambled about sketchy parts of Beacon City blissfully unaware of not being mugged either.

And so here he was. The Hales had contacted him apologetically once they realized what had happened and to whom and he’d let them stew for a few days before responding.

The barest smirk tugged at his lips as he observed the Alpha Heir, Laura Hale, attempt to discreetly scent his emotions, her nostrils flaring slightly as she feigned engrossment with the large painting taking up much of the wall behind his side of the table. The imagery of the Crooked Forest in Nowe Czarnowo on a misty morning was both deeply meaningful for him and an interesting conversation piece for the relatively few guests allowed within these walls. It would likely be quite some time before those gathered here returned again, if ever.

His amusement increased at the wrinkle deepening between her brows when she picked up nothing at all, huffing and turning to side-eye the short red-headed woman speaking with her younger sister, Cora, at the other end of the room. As far as those outside the Inner Circle of the Family knew (or Great Eight as Erica insisted,) Lydia Martin was the Stilinski emissary and responsible for any of their mage craft.

Dearest Lydia was indeed their emissary, his representative in matters both supernatural and mundane. She did also possess magic, though the exact nature of her abilities — that she was a banshee — was yet another closely guarded secret. But it was Stiles himself that created their magical implements, set their wards and, when need be, used his significant abilities to eliminate their threats.

The only people who’d witnessed him in action, enraged and eyes shining the rich burgundy of venous blood, were his most trusted Family and the soon to be dispatched recipients of said power. (The occasional innocent bystander didn’t count because their memories of the event would be wiped clean. He wasn’t entirely amonster.)

Aware of how requesting attendance by the entire Hale family, lowercase f, would seem an insultingly blatant trap he had sent a blood-spelled letter witnessed and effected by a Notary Mage. He, Isaac, and Lydia — the Head, the Hand, and the Voice of the Stilinski Family — had pricked their thumbs with the small ceremonial dagger and bled beside their signatures on the thick parchment, swearing that there'd be no violence against the Hales by them or those in their service, or with their foreknowledge, on pain of death.

For a span of 7 hours, equally before and after the meeting’s start time of noon, they could not strike. Unless the Hales attacked first, of course. They weren’t idiots.

Stiles still hadn’t been sure that they would come though, perhaps insisting on meeting in neutral territory instead. He would’ve agreed to that if he had to, but this made things so much simpler. More contained and less prone to erupt in violence or involve outside parties.

The Stilinskis and Hales weren’t formal allies, but they weren’t enemies either. Some minor altercations between underlings aside they had no quarrel with each other, even cooperating when their interests aligned from time to time or giving a heads up about some mutual rival.

The officiated blood-spell must’ve been enough for the Hale’s own emissary, Druid Alan Deaton to proclaim them safe enough even within another organization’s stronghold. The placid Black man in a forest green suit was currently observing everything from the sidelines and also keeping tabs on Lydia in particular. If he only knew.

In addition, they were allowed to bring a dozen soldiers with then; three were currently posted inside the room, two outside the door, and the other seven were split between the front and back entrances and on standby with their vehicles. He also knew, courtesy of his tech wizard, Danny, and head of security, Boyd, that the Steiner twins (jokingly referred to as Arts & Entertainment) were waiting with a small arsenal just beyond the property line about half a mile away in case things went south.

The heirloom oak and bronze grandfather clock chimed out the hour and the gathered werewolves turned to him expectingly, but he only looked toward the door and went back to reading the papers spread before him. With every minute after noon the tension grew and at 12:07pm Peter Hale finally broke the silence.

“Apologies,” he said, tone making clear that he wasn’t the one who should offer them. “But if we could start…”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “Everyone hasn’t arrived yet.”

The four Hales looked at each other with surprise and discomfort. The druid’s gaze sharpened.

“You mean Derek and Malia? But wh—“ Peter began.

“Was the invitation not clear?”

“Yes, but they’re not really involved in this level of business,” said Laura, looking towards her mother as the Hale Alpha merely stared at him in silence.

Oh, I’m aware he thought disapprovingly, eyes intentionally flickering to the not-yet-18 year old Cora.

“Nevertheless, this matter affects them as well,” Stiles said, wearing what he hoped was a small, pleasant smile. “So if you could have them come per our agreement—”

“We would greatly appreciate it,” added Lydia, trying to soften the sharpness of his tone and keep things from devolving already.

The dark haired sisters shared an annoyed look as Peter sat tight-lipped in his seat. After several moments Talia broke eye contact and nodded to Laura. The Heir pulled out her phone and sent a few texts, snorting a minute later at the response.

“They said they could get here in about 25 minutes, but only by coming straight from the gym.”

Isaac looked over to him and chuckled.

“We promise not to take offense,” Stiles said, quickly banishing the thought of a flexing, sweat drenched Derek before it could fully form. “Refreshments will be served shortly in the meantime.”

He stood and nodded to Liam who’d been waiting near the entrance for any requests and the young soldier hurried to the kitchen.

“Excuse me while I attend to a few things in my office. Feel free to explore the library in the drawing room,” he said, gesturing to go through the archway on the right side and across the hall.

He walked over to Isaac on his way out. “Come get me when they arrive.”

Derek

He was at the power rack about to attempt a new single max low back squat when his and Malia’s phones chimed simultaneously. Always a good sign, Derek thought sarcastically as he let out a long sigh. What now?

His cousin, who had been racing on an elliptical nearby like an angry T1000 with John Connor in its sights, hopped off and grabbed her phone and water bottle as he continued to fume about the interruption, sure that his workout would be cut short.

Coming to the gym, like running beta shifted or blasting his music, was how he took the edge off the unmet needs and burned through the negative emotions that he lived with as a matter of course. The regular focus, control, and clearing of his mind also made it that much easier to mute the “outgoing” of his bonds and hide his interior world from the Pack’s scrutiny. Their well meaning, but frequently misapplied concern, especially his mother’s.

“They need us at the Stilinski meeting as soon as possible,” she said after reading the message.

Derek groaned and made a point of completing his lift, though his form was shaky in his annoyance. He’d heard of the letter “requesting” they all attend, but last night when he asked what time he should be ready to go he’d been assured that their presence wasn’t necessary. His presence, really. If she weren’t his usual bodyguard he bet they’d have taken Malia along. It wasn’t that he particularly wanted to go, but he resented being summarily excluded. Again.

Growing up, Derek had never felt like a stereotypical alpha and being months past his 16th birthday he’d been worried about presenting as a beta, who tended to take longer to reveal their secondary sex than alphas did. Not because he thought there was anything was wrong with betas, but because he knew what it would mean in his family. He didn’t want to be different. Othered.

Not once though did he imagine that he could be an omega. Between Hale genetics being what they were and the rarity of omegas in general (and male ones in particular) it was so beyond the realm of possibility that that particular fear hadn’t even crossed his mind. Then came that first humiliating heat.

Derek had been playing video games in the den downstairs when it started, not recognizing the first symptoms. Feeling just a bit off he’d taken a nap on the couch only to wake up a few hours later confused and burning up. Simultaneously very uncomfortable and extremely horny, not to mention damp where he’d never been before. It was frightening.

Ten year old Cora had wandered in to play with her action figures and been alarmed to see him sweaty and groaning and yelled that he looked really sick. Peter had been the first to investigate and after several moments of shock had started laughing and offered to find him a “knotty boy” in front of his now present and scandalized mother.

He’d ended up locked inside an interrogation room with an inflatable mattress and some sheets and a blanket. Laura ran out to hastily purchase some random toys for him and then put them inside with snacks and water, but no one came around to make sure he ate or drank for longer than was healthy. They hadn’t known better.

Every wolf born in the past four generations of the main Hale family, all 30 of the 37 descendants of his great-grandfather Desmond Hale who had presented before him, had been alphas. (So had the three since.) The only non-alphas in their bloodline had been the mates of those born Hales, mostly betas and a handful of alpha-alpha pairs. There were just two omegas over that time frame: the wife of one of his second cousins and a deceased great uncle-in-law.

His beta father, Aaron, had been “blamed” for the anomaly having had an omega grandfather as well as a baby brother and two female cousins in his family. He’d died from smoke inhalation saving a handful of strangers from a house fire several years before Derek presented and had been cut off from his family when he mated the infamous Talia Hale, so they’d had no close and trusted source of advice and firsthand information. Oh, they’d read articles and browsed web forums and asked Deaton (who was not at all well versed in the subject) about it, but his family simply hadn’t really known what to do with any omega, much less a male one.

They’d muddled through, but not without plenty of scars to show for it, mostly on Derek’s end. All of the times when they treated him differently and shouldn’t have, especially after he was kidnapped at 17 by a gang led by a supernatural-hating fanatic.

His mother had been overprotective before then, but when they got him back — bruised and traumatized, but before the worst had happened — he could barely take a piss without someone hovering nearby.

Derek was steered away from or outright denied any position that might put him “at special risk” as an omega, which was practicality everything of rank or actually interesting. He would not be trained to be Laura’s Second as was customary for the next born nor sent on missions or even errands. If he were more technologically inclined he could’ve worked his way up in Intelligence, but torrenting foreign tv shows and troubleshooting the wifi were about the extent of his abilities. Anything related to their less-than-legal operations were off-limits as well. Unsafe.

No, Derek’s contribution to the Pack was in “Procurement and Supply Management,” i.e. making sure that the Manor and their other private or commercial properties never ran out of pasta or printer ink or toilet paper and that the lights stayed on. He also sometimes floated around filling in for members in Document Control or Internal Mail or did grunt work for the accountants. Sterile and boring.

Conversely, the one area where they should’ve taken his omega status into account they regularly failed to do so. Acted as if the same level of physical bonding and affection they normally engaged in would be enough for him. At least some of the pack had learned that omegas required more, knew that intellectually, but habits being as they were it generally hadn’t been the case in practice.

After getting met with annoyed glances or told that someone would come by later and have them never show he simply stopped asking after a while. Cuddling with his sisters once or twice a week while watching movies or tv shows and the occasional touches from his mother had kept him going, but he’d been low to mid-level touch starved much of the time and occasionally worse.

Since presenting Derek always felt at least somewhat apart from the pack as whole. He’d been teased by Peter and the beta soldiers, Aidan and Ethan, who often accompanied him before Malia was of age. He’d overheard certain comments from several others and withdrew even further inside himself, becoming more and more skilled at locking himself away.

What was the point of letting on exactly how dissatisfied and disconnected he felt? Things wouldn’t actually change, there’d just be some grumbling and there-theres and attempts to fix him instead of the situation.

Things had definitely improved when Malia arrived and had been amenable to random cuddling, but he still held himself back from doing it as often as he wanted to in fear of being a burden.

No one had been more surprised that Peter had a child than the playboy wolf himself, an alpha coyote-wolf hybrid that had long since been abandoned by her mother. She’d been a hellion of a street kid, causing all sorts of mischief and lashing out while trying to survive, until one day she’d ended up hauled in before the crew leader in charge of protection.

There was something about her, perhaps certain notes in her scent or something vaguely familiar in her appearance or manner, that gave Finstock pause before delivering the standard beating — non-life threatening or severely damaging — for a shifter her age. The wild-haired Bitten wolf was eccentric and prone to randomly bringing up his lost testicle, but had an uncanny sense about things and kept order in the streets, neither too soft nor overly cruel. Inquires were made, fingerprints and DNA ran, and surprise, congratulations, it was a bouncing baby snarling 16 year old Hale!

It didn’t take long for her and the then 19 year old Derek to gravitate towards each other, coming from two very different upbringings, but both outsiders in their own way. Malia was trained up and when she turned 18 became his primary bodyguard and the rest was history.

“C’mon, lets’s bounce,” she said, poking him in the shoulder. “ASAP means ASAP.”

“ASAP also means no shower or change of clothes,” Derek growled, lamenting that Hale Manor was in the opposite direction. He could’ve been there as presentable and on time as everyone else, but nooo. The most he could do was towel off some and slather on the deodorant he had in his bag.

“They’ll just have to deal,” she replied, shrugging. Her lack of concern for propriety was one of the many things he loved about her, but the rules were different for him. Oh well, the only wolves there would be family so perhaps he wouldn’t get that kind of shit for it. Hopefully the Stilinskis had been informed in advance and wouldn’t take their appearance as a slight.

“I guess so,” he muttered, wiping the barbell down quickly before tossing the towel in the used bin. They headed outside and he unlocked the black Camaro in the spot upfront reserved for him. Sliding behind the wheel, he strapped in and started it up as Malia pulled up the directions on her phone. Here we go.

#sterek #sterek fanfic #equiknots #trisk #equiknots trisk

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