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evita-shelby · 2 years

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Between the Shadow and the Soul

Chapter 23

tw: mentions of child sexual abuse

“You went on strike today, cost me a lot of money, love.” Tommy never gets cross with her when she pulls stunts like this. Turns him on more than her, surprising him in his London office with only her coat and stockings on.

“We need better working conditions, Mr. Shelby.” So, what if she likes to call him Mr. Shelby when they fuck in his office.

“Is that so, Mrs. Shelby.” One hand is on her knee, creeping up her skirt, the other traces her bottom lip and tilts her chin up. He reeks of smoke and the Russian tramp’s perfume, but she doesn’t care. Thomas Shelby would never be anyone else’s while she lives.

“Moss said you and Polly threatened violence, took the spotlight off Jessie Eden, whoever that is.”

“The only way I know how to get rights is taking them by force, besides, it was your aunt who threatened to burn down city hall.” She takes his hand from his tantalizing and slow trek up her thighs and takes it right to the edge of her knickers.

He moves it back down, determined to have her begging for him to fuck her.

“No more politics, Eva, can’t let them have a reason to look into you.” He commands as if she’d listen.

“They won’t find anything, you know that. Not even the Americans have proof I helped bust people out of their prisons and raided their precious King Ranch.” her fingers played with the buttons of his vest and absolutely hated the turn of the conversation.

“You already took a risk in telling Michael and giving the notebook to Tatiana---” he begins, and she interrupts, jealous.

“Oh, you’re on a first name basis with her already.” Eva was hardly jealous, but pregnancy made the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head.

“I’m not going to fuck her, and I won’t let you fuck her either.” He says irritated at her lack of trust around women chasing after him.

“Tatiana isn’t my type, she’s into very weird shit, or so Tiago has told me. But that’s not what I want to talk to you about.” She changes the topic. “The ladies want in on the Russian robbery, Arthur told Linda, Linda shared with the class.”

“So, Arthur tells Linda everything, eh?” He’s never trusted Linda and hates how much Arthur defers to her better judgment. His hand on her thigh remains there, but the one that used to be under her chin tilting her face up for a kiss that did not happen falls away and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What’s wrong with that, you tell me everything.” That’s a topic they’ve never agreed on, in the entire family only Eva likes Linda despite her annoying religious ways.

“I tell you everything because you find out either way, Arthur has a big mouth. I’m running out of people to trust, love.” The tension is back, and Eva knows whatever plans they that for tonight have disappeared into thin air. “Can’t trust the Russians or the army, can’t trust Michael not to tell his mother things and I can’t trust Esme.”

“So, Polly knows, huh. After all I did, Michael just goes and tells his mother. Fucking great!” she grumbles and leans on her head on his shoulder. “If she knows, then the Priest knows about the trap.”

If the priest knows about the trap, then her husband will need an ambulance and emergency brain surgery, or he might end up as dead as Jesus Christ on Easter.

If that happens then Aman will have to be a good shot.

---

Tommy fights her when she forces him into a hospital, and she goes in his stead to the dinner where the fucking priest expects him to grovel at his feet.

She wears rubies, red as the blood stain Tommy left on her dress before he went to Ada’s to meet with the Soviets.

“I apologize for being late, there was scheduling conflict and my husband will not be available tonight.” she greets them with her façade of woman with everything under control.

“Uncle, Aunt, let me introduce to you Mrs. Eva Shelby, Mr. Shelby’s wife.” Tatiana smirks, they will never get along, but no one said they had to be allies.

“Eva Shelby, a shame we could not meet in better circumstances, but c'est la vie.” She is sat between the priest and Tatiana’s uncle, very improper, but who cares about social etiquette when they bend over backwards for a rapist priest.

“You speak French, madam?” the MP, what’s his face asks as if he expected a savage. They always do, his type never think people can have a good education in countries like hers.

“Someone had to read a disgraced president’s letters to his French allies after stealing them from his office, besides all my cosmetics are French, all the best operas are Italian, and all the best Ballets are in Russian. I think you are the only person at the table who can’t speak anything else, but English, Mr. Jarvis.” she says with faux innocence.

“Do you drink, Mrs. Shelby?” she loathes things like him, the priest, she wants to be the one to pull the trigger, but that will be Michael’s revenge. The MP will be her treat, Eva needs Churchill to owe her something.

“No, I find alcohol brings out the revolutionary in me, last time I drank I overthrew three presidents.” she says it with humor. “But enough about that, you asked my husband here to apologize and since he cannot do that in person, I’ll do it for him.”

“You know, it was drink that caused half this trouble, brought up an absurd allegation against me that was false.”

“Did it, then perhaps you should follow my example and quit drinking, father.” she says almost mockingly. Pregnancy had the side effect of making her reckless and moody and brought up those times she railed against people who wish to humiliate her for entertainment.

“When a child in my care commits a sin, first of all, he confesses, as you just did. And then, I instruct him to perform penance in a manner of my choosing. As a child, you went to church?” he comes close, almost saying it in her ear. She feels sickened by the man.

His favorite thing was to have a child say the act of contrition as he forced himself on them. It wouldn’t take much to get the fork and drive it through his eye and then stab him repeatedly with the knife on her garter.

“Of course, everyone and their dog is Catholic in Mexico, although I do have to apologize, I only know the words to prayers in Spanish and Latin, never liked the way they sounded in English I’m afraid.” She acts like the eccentric ditzy foreigner because so far it has yet to fail her. “Shall I begin, Deus Meus---”

“Instead of “God,” say my name. Since it was me you and your husband offended with your false allegations.” He smirks and she grits her teeth.

“Sir do you want an apology we all know I don’t mean, or do you want the plan to happen as it should? I may be Catholic, but I am still a witch.” She smiles through gritted teeth.

“Is that why your enemies never caught you, Eva?” Tatiana butts in remembering their conversation.

“Yes, if you know beforehand what’s going to happen you prevent mistakes.” Eva’s dark eyes never leave Hughes and stares him down like the vermin he is. “For example, my husband and I knew you’d see through our trap, that you would ask for an unnecessary apology and that your whole double-crossing act is just that.” She explains and then adds, “Would you rather waste everyone's time and have me fluff your ego with the Acts of Contrition, or would you rather talk business?”

It will cost them something priceless, but he will never get to enjoy that will he?

“If we had known you would be this direct, perhaps we should have contacted you instead of your husband.” the Russian Grand Duke says, happy that they don’t have to go through the priest’s bullshit. Gets so tiring to have a man you see as less than human keep inflating his own self-importance.

“The job will happen at this time.” She hands the Grand Duke a piece of stationery with the date noted down to the minute. “It’s the only time I can guarantee it will happen as it should, if it does not happen at the exact hour and minute I have written down, it will fail.”

“Shall we order food?” the priest interjects wishing to turn all the attention back to him.

“You may, but I have much better things to do.” she takes her leave respectfully from the Russians and barely pays any attention to the other two men.

She can’t wait for this job to be over.

#ocappreciation #oc fanfiction #thomas shelby x oc #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction

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guessimwritingficsagain · 3 years

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To be seen, part Three (Frankie Morales x Reader)

Summary : The birthday party comes and goes. You're pining but get a grim reminder that Frankie has a daughter (and a spouse ?). You want to take a step back from that blooming relationship but things don't go according to plan. You want to surprise Jessie with a nice present.

Author’s note : I rewrote this thing like 4 times but here we are. Just so we are clear, we are NOT about to have a lot triangle between OFC, Frankie, and random new character James. I just want OFC to have some wholesome relationships and to be her own person besides her new relationship with Frankie and the boys (which, btw, a writer, a friend of mine actually, told me "sometimes you write about what you can't have" and boy didn't that hurt because I'm currently in the process of grieving a friendship that could have been so good if not for the fact that we have very different ways of seeing friendship ... so I guess that James comes from that, a little). The former version had Frankie being more forward but I do like a slooooow burn and also it felt OOC.

Anyway,

the song Sweet is by Porridge Radio.

The song Canción sin Miedo is by Vivir Quintana.

The French radio that only plays women, trans and NB people is a real thing : it's called Radio Tempête and I like it very much. Give it a try !

There had been questions. Linda had grilled you hard and actually told you to go for it. It felt nice, all of it, up until you’d asked Linda why she was here. She'd grown sheepish.

« I need a new start. A change of pace. And I- I miss you, not, you know, like that, but I miss my friend, and I figured a new start with an old friend, that could be nice. »

You’d nodded, wondering if there was something she was not telling you, but figuring she’d get to it in her own time. In the meantime, she was here. And it was nice. She got along immediately with both Jessie and Anna and could make Phil laugh like no one else. Still, there were things that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her. You two had a history, just like you had with Jessie and Anna, but not the same kind and five years was a long time not to see each other.

That’s why you waited until Linda was playing with Clara to tell Jessie, quietly :

« That fifth guy who used to hang out with the boys ? »

Jessie looked surprised. She was usually the one fishing for information. You knew why you were telling her that : to share the epiphany you had, to remind her, and yourself, that these men were real people. And maybe, just maybe, to remind her in a way that there was a real world out there.

« He’s dead. »

The air grew quiet at that. You looked at her face. She nodded, juste the once. And then, never brought the boys up the way she used to. She asked for news, once in a while, but never again in the giddy way she used to do it.

———

Right. So maybe, maybe, you’d gone a little overboard with that birthday party, but the kid had lost her father a year ago and she deserved nice things.

Right ?

They didn’t have to know the bar didn’t actually own fancy, festive plates and an army of balloons. Besides, everybody had pitched in. And Phil had made an extra nice menu. It’d been a team effort, really. Except that when Linda came in to grab a coffee after work - she was working at the local bookstore and that made your heart clench a little - she raised her eyebrows and said :

« You said seventeen, right ? Because I think you’re going for seven, here. »

So. You were a bit nervous, which, what the hell ?? They weren’t your friends. They were paying consumers. Except you were fooling yourself there because you were pretty sure that paying consumers didn’t quite cover it.

But when Santi came in with her, the girl swallowed by a huge scarf to protect her from November’s chilly air, you saw the smile on her face, you knew it’d been worth it. Santi actually came and hugged you and whispered « thank you, Starbuck » before giving Anna a high-five.

Yeah, the Starbuck thing had stuck. And you might have started calling Santiago Santi.

You were introduced to the birthday girl -Sarah- who was lovely and perhaps, you realized quickly, a tiny bit smitten with Anna, in a when-I-grow-up-I-wanna-be-her kind of way. Anna, of course, was completely oblivious. They sat down at the counter first, waiting for their friends to get here, her with a coke, him with a beer, and you were content to just let them be. It was a moment you felt was too private for your tentative relationship.

Sarah hugged Frankie as he came in and you did not let your mind wonder what it would feel like. Beers to serve. Mind out of the gutter. But he came to find you, and he looked at you with those soft eyes and he leaned in a bit and you couldn’t help but smile. And he smiled back, elbows on the counter, so close.

« You didn’t have to do all that. »

His voice was barely a whisper, and you answered the same way :

« I know. »

He was looking at you like he was seeing you and you got that warm feeling again, at the center of your belly. There was nothing, for a few seconds, except his brown eyes, until Anna cleared her throat and you were reminded you were at work. You turned back to get a beer for Frankie, but were interrupted again by a hand on your arm. Anna was looking at you and asked, as quietly as possible :

« What was that ? »

Her eyes were kind, there was no teasing in her voice but you shrugged the question off anyway. You didn’t know what that was. And it wasn’t the time nor the place.

———

The birthday party had been a success, and the night would have been perfect if not for Phil’s pragmatism. He knew you, he could tell, and your little admission a while back, when under the fire of Linda’s questioning that maybe you had a tiny little crush hadn’t fooled him.

Oh, the mortifying ordeal of being known.

He’d came up to you when you’d been cleaning the coffee machine and he’d said :

« He has a kid, you know that. »

He’d left it at that, knowing it was enough.

And that was just the thing, right : you knew. And with kids usually came a spouse. He probably had a lovely one, someone pretty and smart and funny and soft just like he was. So you’d decided to take some emotional distance, just to keep it professional. Paying costumers, after all.

Of course you were fooling yourself, you were protecting yourself from something that had the possibility to break you heart. And that, that was the worst part, the scary part, because you remembered vividly not thinking about Linda that way and then she’d said I like you, I really like you, you know, in a way that makes me want to make out with you. And you’d realized you liked her in a way that made you want to make out with her too. Back then the closet had been a thing, a hard one to get out of, even though your parents loved you unconditionally, no matter how many tattoos they disapproved of covered your body, no matter who you dated. You just hadn’t realized what you’d felt for her until she’d spelled it out for you. It’d been beautiful and simple and safe.

Here, though, you were thirsting on a man a tiny bit older than you, who had a daughter, who was probably married. And you’d been avoiding thinking about that, and he never mentioned anyone. But you knew you needed to get a grip on those spiraling feelings.

You needed to refocus, and in doing so, you realized something that filled you with shame and guilt : you’d overlooked Jessie entirely. The Christmas Holidays were coming up and you hadn’t made any plans with her. You’d been so caught up in your world that, for the first time in years, you forgot about her. The fact she worked day shifts and you night shifts now meant that you saw less of each other. And since Linda got here, and the boys were around more, and you didn’t need to babysit Clara as much, you’d seen even less of her.

But you had a plan.

———

The plan showed up on your doorstep a few days later, greeting you when you opened the door with :

« I hope you finally threw away that ugly couch and that the new one is comfortable. »

Here he stood, in all of his stupid glory : James. Their parents probably had a weird sense of humor to call their first born Jessie and their second one James. Or maybe you had a weird sense of humor for noticing it.

Here’s a bit of a backstory : James was your age, and you’d actually been friends since you were ten. Attached-to-the-hip kind of friends. I-don’t-care-about-anyone-else kind of friends. He used to be your only friend, back then, because he was just enough. Jessie, being five years older, had no real interest in you whatsoever so you only befriended her later, when her ass of an ex-husband skipped town and you got a panicked call from James one morning asking if you could help his sister to find a job because she used to be a stay-at-home mom and now she really needed the cash. James couldn’t come home to help her, so you’d had to help Jessie. Not that it’d been a problem.

And James, James was spectacular in the way he never settled for anything. He’d left home to go to Harvard and then became a bloody CIA agent because why not. Except he hadn’t liked that so he’d quit the bloody CIA and opened a restaurant in Washington. The President of the United States of America ate there, on a regular basis.

(Sometimes, when life got too hard and you got too caught up in your own mind, and you felt you weren’t enough, you wondered why a man like that bothered to skype you twice a month, and one time, drunk and alone on your birthday, you’d left him a voicemail asking him that very thing and he’d given you so much shit for that you never asked again. You were his girl, forever and always.)

So you’d called him, explained the whole Jessie thing, and the guilt that came with it.

Now there he was, ready to hide in your apartment while you got everything set to give your girl Jessie the surprise she deserved. You let Phil and Anna in on the secret that was James, just so he could come to the bar when he wanted and no one would tell Jessie about it.

That’s how you found yourself jumping slightly at the abrupt change of a song, one night at the bar, and you declared, knowing who it was :

« Costumers don’t get to change the music. »

The only answer you got was a laugh. You turned around to see James, bending over the counter to get to the computer, all crinkled eyes and white teeth.

« Don’t tell me you don’t like hearing Sweet. » He quipped.

« I like that song », you explained as you secretly rejoiced in hearing the familiar notes. « But that doesn’t mean you get to play anything you want. I know you, you get too comfortable. »

He sat down at the bar, a bit away from the boys who were joking and laughing at the counter. Benny had won his fight and got a girl’s number so it was a good night for him, the kind of night you didn’t want to intrude on. Except you wished you could, and that, that was a red flag in itself because usually, when James was around, there was nobody else in the world but you still thought about Frankie, about how you wished you were sitting on the other side of the counter, pressed against him, laughing at whatever it was that had been said. Paying consumers, right ?

You’d been serving beers left and right, only stopping a moment to get another round to the boys when you heard :

« Where the fuck is that French radio playlist ? You know, radio that only plays songs by women, trans and non-binary people ? I know you have one, can’t seem to find it. »

« James. »

You turned around. He was standing behind the counter.

« How on earth did you get there ? »

« I jumped. You were busy, didn’t see it. Anyway. That playlist ? There’s some good shit on that. Though we might want to avoid the songs too obviously sexual, right ? »

You let out the biggest sigh. Of course he'd jumped. Of course he’d find that absolutely normal. You waived him away and got to find the playlist.

« I wanna hear Canción sin Miedo. » He added, all but propped up on the counter.

« Get down. Also your accent is shit. » You hissed. You complied, though.

As the Mexican song started playing, Will gave you a look.

« That’s Jessie’s brother. » You explained, your voice still a touch exasperated.

« But that’s a secret. » James added, still very much sitting on the counter. He smiled and said : « Hi, I’m James. Like Bond. James Bond. Nobody ever saw the two of us in the same room, by the way. »

He winked and you ugly snorted.

———

The noise was overwhelming and the place reeked of beer and sweat but Anna was steering you gently through the crowd and Linda’s hand was grounding, on your shoulder. MMA fights were not your scene but Benny had asked and Anna had said yes before you could get a word in. You’d called Linda in a panic, muttering you know how I get in crowded spaces and she’d offered to come.

You still didn’t know how Anna managed to get your boss to give you both the day off for that but you were glad.

You heard Benny come in more than you saw him, and Anna guided you to the place where Santi, Frankie and Will were. Santi made a jab at Linda, who laughed it off and introduced herself at the others. She was blending in with ease, as always. You, though, felt lost, until you sensed someone right next to you. Lifting your head, you saw Frankie hand you a drink, before his hand came and gently grabbed your arm, guiding you to a sit right next to him.

« You okay ? » he asked in your ear, close enough that you could feel his breath, his hand still on your arm.

You explained right in his own ear :

« Crowed spaces. »

You felt his hand give a squeeze and, without thinking, tapped his thigh in a way you hoped would convey your thanks. Then, you held onto your drink for dear life, as Benny started beating the shit out of the other guy.

———

Benny was breaking down his fight, as the other men pitched in with a comment, once in a while. You hadn't exactly enjoyed the fight, but Frankie's presence and explanations had made the whole thing better. You drew the line, though, at debriefing, so you turned to Linda :

« So, how was your date ? »

« Nice. »

« Nice ? Just nice ? But she was bloody gorgeous. You showed me pictures ! »

You weren’t as quiet as you thought you were because next think you knew, Anna was leaning in, wiggling eyebrows, and the rest of the table grew awfully quiet. You turned to see all the eyes on you.

« Who was bloody gorgeous ? » Santi inquired.

« My date. »

Everybody was listening, now. You motioned her to go ahead.

« Well, her yoga lessons came in handy, if you know what I mean but … yeah … yoga. Pilates. Rabbit food. »

« Well, you still got her to do some yoga » you replied with a wink.

That got Anna to spit her drink.

« She was plenty good at that, but, yeah. »

She shrugged and too a sip of her beer.

« Wait, she ?»

So yeah, Santi hadn’t caught on the Linda’s a lesbian train yet. Though to be fair, he’d seen her once, twice counting tonight.

« Got a problem with that ? » Linda asked.

You felt the tension roll off of her and you couldn’t blame her. You never really knew how people were going to take your coming out, no matter how well you knew the person. And she didn’t know Santi at all.

He hurriedly shook his head.

« No, I just didn’t expect it, is all. »

He lit up, then, and you could almost see the bad idea that came to his mind.

(Maybe you were starting to know him after all.)

« I could be your wingman, and you my wingwoman. »

« No fucking way, Santiago. »

You laughed as you listened to Linda give a few more details, sweet Anna beaming in awe as the discussion went to Linda’s great adventures in dating.

« So, you’re a serial dater. » the younger woman exclaimed.

« She was never good at settling » you confirmed.

Linda turned to you and, with mock outrage, asked :

« Never good at settling ? Do those two years with you mean nothing ? »

You laughed and she laughed and Anna laughed and Benny all but shrieked :

« You two dated ??? »

That only made your belly clench even more, the laughter an unstoppable force, Linda warm by your side, Anna crying from laughter, Santi and his existential crisis because he’d hit on a lesbian and suddenly everything made sense because nobody said no to Santiago - at least that was what your were feeling he was thinking. And Benny, just confused, said :

« I didn’t know you swung that way. »

The sentence was meant for you, you knew that, but before you could calm down, another voice, one you’d recognize anywhere, anytime, answered for you :

« Oh, she swings every fucking way, right, baby ? »

You turned around sharply and there he was, again, James. Right on time. He settled right next to you, his warmth a comforting presence. You swallowed the anxiety down. Everything would be alright.

And everything was.

Because fifteen minutes later, Jessie was coming in, Clara in her arms, wondering what the emergency Phil called about was. You would forever remember the look on her face when she saw her brother sitting right there. The blinding smile, the way James took Clara in his arms and cooed.

It was going to be a good night (again).

———

« That was real nice of you », Frankie mumbled. « What you did back there, with Jessie and her bother. »

You’d stepped out to have a smoke and he’d joined you, hands in pockets, just standing there, not close enough to touch you but close enough that you could feel him.

« You two seem close », he stated after a bit.

That wasn’t jealousy. That you could tell.

« He’s my best friend, I guess. »

« He seems nice », Frankie stated. « A bit over the top but then again, I’m friends with Pope so … »

You had a flashback, then, of your first encounter with Benny, and asked :

« What’s with the nicknames anyway ? »

« We served … » Frankie started. You cut him off.

« Yeah, I know, but. What does it mean ? »

Frankie just smiled, then, took a step closer to you, shoulders brushing. You felt hot, all of a sudden.

« A callsign is trust » he explained and then quietly added :

« Starbuck »

You managed to keep it together. You kept it together because paying consumers. You kept it together because that man had a daughter and was probably married and what he’d just said was said out of friendliness.

#frankie morales x reader #Frankie morales #francisco catfish morales #francisco 'catfish' morales #francisco 'catfish' Morales x reader #triple frontier

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glassbxttless · 3 years

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So I have some girl dad thoughts based off of this little reblog here.

I have 4 girl dad characters here; Clyde, Sackler, Flip, & McTavish— technically 5, but Matt’s daughter passed early on and he wouldn’t get to have this chance.

Here’s everything I have for you!

Violet’s 16 when she gets her heart broken for the first time.

She spends the week hiding away in her bedroom, refusing to go to school, to eat dinner, to come out and shower. She’s truly hurting from the inside out and Clyde wasn’t sure what to do.

You assured him that things would be back to normal in a few weeks, that you just had to give her time. But Clyde wasn’t used to that. The boys never took their breakups like this. So he sits down and thinks long and hard about what he’s going to do.

And then he has an idea.

He buys a plain white card and write Violet a letter. About how he fell in love with her the moment he saw her, how he never wanted anything to hurt her, and how he was going to make sure she knew how much her daddy loved her, and how she could come to him with anything. He slips it under the door with a note written on a slip of pink paper telling her to put on what she feels prettiest in and be ready by eight.

And you tie Clyde’s tie for him that evening and smile, shaking your head. “You know this is a little weird, right?” You ask as you press a kiss onto his cheek. And he doesn’t care how weird it is as long as Vi feels better.

And for the first time in a week Violet comes out of her room, her hair done and in a blue sundress. Clyde feels like crying. She looks just like you did at 16.

Clyde gives her flowers and takes her out to dinner. They laugh and smile and Violet starts to feel just a little bit better. She knows her daddy will always have her best interest at heart.

When Adam finds out some fucker dumped Rose on a soccer pitch for another girl, he comes out with hands blazing.

He’s pacing your apartment— trying to calm himself down enough he doesn’t kill the kid. And then he’s banging on Rose’s bedroom door. “Get your coat and let’s go.”

You tag along to make sure neither your husband nor daughter get arrested and Adam pulls up to the supermarket and comes out of the store with three dozen eggs. And you already see the situation playing out in front of you.

Adam gets the directions from Rosalie and hands a carton to her when he parks the car. You sink down in the seat, not wanting any part of this. Adam gets down which car he’s seen pick her up and tosses an egg at the car— and Rosalie goes straight for his bedroom window.

And when he pops his head out asking what the fuck is going on, Adam hits him straight in the face with an egg and he’s hurrying Rose into the car and peeling out.

You haven’t seen her that happy in weeks and Adam loves to see that smile on her face.

Amber is Flip’s pride and joy.

And the boy that breaks her heart would have a lot of fucking hell to pay on a day that wouldn’t hurt his daughter to the core.

Amber spends her days hiding just how hurt she is right before prom. How she just wanted her first major dance to be special.

And Flip knows it’s lame to offer to be her date. And when she decides not to go, Flip’s heart breaks a little more. So he devises another plan.

He ropes you into helping him push the furniture out of the way and hookup your old iPod to the dock that Amber had stashed away and he even dresses up real nice. He almost got a tux for the occasion but thought that that idea was just a little much.

You walk into Amber’s room— after knocking— and sit to talk to her for a bit. It takes some convincing, but you offer her to try on that pretty ball gown you wore to your wedding. Sure it wasn’t a prom dress but you knew how much Amber loved it.

You zip up the dress for her and do her hair and makeup all nice, under the premise that you’re just going to take a few photos of her to show her nan. And when you walk her out to the living room, Flip is standing in the middle with a pretty white corsage.

And Amber hugs her dad as tightly as she can, tears are in her eyes and she can’t stop them when Flip offers her a dance. And the photos you take of them are better than any photos you would’ve gotten from any boy at prom. And she’d never forget how special she felt in her dads eyes that night.

When Jessa starts dating, he knows he’s in for it. With Miles, he was able to just have the wrap it up talk and send him on his way.

But now, since he knows how Jessa is, he knows he’s got a shit-storm of emotions to deal with and you try to ease his mind just a little bit with, “she’s a smart girl, she’ll figure it out.”

And when that first heartbreak happens three weeks before she leaves for college, his heart absolutely sinks. Jessa doesn’t leave the house, doesn’t change out of her pjs, and refuses anything but ice cream for a long while.

She ignores the advances of help from you and from Miles. And that’s when William decides to stop at the supermarket on his way home from work and pick up two pints of ice cream and he knocks on her bedroom door when he’s home.

Surprisingly she lets him in.

And they sit on her bed and eat their pints of ice cream, smiling through tears and talking out feelings that Jess had been holding inside. And she even cracks a smile when Will calls her Jessy.

And it feels so nice to know her dad is on her side. That he’ll go get her things from him and take his things back to him, even if they’re just clothes and a guitar. It feels nice to hug her dad as tightly as she can.

And William loves that he was the one that helped her through this pain. And now he’s just gotta get through the heartbreak of leaving his daughter in another state for an education that he’s so proud of her for.

#glassbxttless adcu #glassbxttless #girl!dads #teenage girl dads specifically #clyde logan #adam sackler #flip zimmerman #william mctavish #violet dolores logan #rosalie grace sackler #amber charlotte zimmerman #jessa renee mctavish

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houseof-harry · 4 years

Text

What Happens in Jersey | G.D.

A/N - hey guys! this is my first time posting anything I’ve written on tumblr so pls forgive me if it’s total shit. I’m super excited to hear any feedback and if you would be interested in a second part or something!!!

Word count: 5K

Warnings: smut

Summary - Y/N is in New Jersey with her college friend for the week of New Years. She takes a particular liking to Grayson Dolan, but only plans for it to be a one time thing. But things never go as planned.

It would be safe to say you were a bit of a nomad. You had grown up in a small town and decided to go to college far away from there. Once you left, your parents wanted out too. However, you never had any interest in sitting in the middle of the mountains with them while you were on breaks, so you found yourself bouncing around from place to place, never really staying with anyone for more than a couple of weeks.

That’s how you ended up in New Jersey with your best friend from school. Jessie was kind enough to let you stay with him the last few weeks of your winter break. You were excited because after spending time with your whole family, you would finally be able to just hang out with your friends again. Or Jessie’s friends, rather.

You and Jessie were seniors this year, and you had no idea where post-graduation would take you. That’s why you’re soaking up every minute with him while you can. His friends were all super welcoming of you and have made you feel like you were meant to be there with them all the time. After hanging out with them all week, you were exciting to be spending New Year’s Eve with them, too.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear for New Year’s yet?” Jessie asks, pulling you from your train of thought.

“No, I still have to go through what I brought with me. How fancy do you guys usually go?”

“It’s pretty casual. The girls wear jeans and a cute top, nothing crazy. I’m gonna wear jeans and a t-shirt.” He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. You walk over to your bag to look for the perfect top. You were hoping that one of his friends would finally make a pass at you, so you wanted to dress the part. Not just any of his friends, though. Grayson Dolan specifically.

Grayson had been particularly nice to you since you’d come to town. You hoped you weren’t reading into it too much and that he was actually interested because if you were being honest, it had been a minute since you’d had any action. That’s all you needed. No strings, not even a second night together. Just something to end the dry spell that came along with the stress of trying to graduate college.

You pulled out a gold sequined top. It showed plenty of chest without being too scandalous and always looked good paired with the black jeans you had packed. You pulled the jeans out along with a pair of heels and got Jessie’s attention.

“Do you think this’ll look good?” You ask him, looking down at the outfit and then back up at him.

“Yeah, that top always looks good on you. Who’re you trying to impress?” He jokes, already knowing the answer. Jessie is always up to date on your romantic life (or lack of one), and could tell immediately that you had taken a liking to Grayson. He seemed to think Grayson had taken a similar liking to me, which is the whole reason you have your hopes up in the first place.

“You know why.” You roll your eyes and put the clothes on top of your bag.

“He’s gonna go crazy for you in that, don’t worry.” Jessie let out a bit of a sigh before you stood up.

“I’m gonna take a shower. Movie after before we go to bed?” You ask.

“Sure.” He responds, not looking up from his phone.

You go to the bathroom, ignoring the frown that seemed to be on his face.

***

You were finishing putting on your mascara when Jessie walks into the room.

“Ready to go?” He asks you while looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his shirt.

“I guess so.” You finish and put your makeup away, standing up and twirling around. “How’s the finished look?”

He gives my body a once over, his eyes lingering on the shape of my body. “Good,” is all he says.

“Just good?”

“Y/N, you always look amazing, you know what I meant.” He rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, let’s go.” You say, choosing to ignore his gesture with his eyes. You walk down the stairs and outside, grabbing your jacket on the way. Ethan and Grayson are waiting outside in their car. When they see you approach, Ethan opens the window to greet you guys.

“There they are. Ready for a new year?” He asks as you approach.

“More than you know.” You smile at him and Jessie opens the back door. You climb in and slide over so he can get in too. You shiver and close your jacket more, holding it tight to your body. Grayson smiles at you guys through the rear-view mirror and that’s it. Maybe you had been reading too far into his kindness.

“Whose house are we going to again?” You ask.

“Drew’s. His parents are at their friend’s house in Rhode Island,” Jessie says. You nod, clearly not remembering which one Drew is. “The one who goes to Penn State,” he clarifies.

“Oh, right.” You smile at him.

The car falls quiet for a while, which is unusual for you and Jessie and you can only assume it’s even more odd for Ethan and Grayson, but you guess everyone is tired and needs a moment of silence before entering the hectic last couple of hours of this year.

“We’re almost there,” Ethan says as he turns into a residential area. It feels like he’s trying to calm the weird tension in the car, but you don’t know why it’s so awkward to start.

Before you can question it further, Ethan pulls up behind a bunch of other cars parked on the street and he turns the car off. You hop out on Grayson’s side and shut the door. You both wait for the other boys to walk around the side of the car before you head down the street.

“So, you’re not gonna drink?” You ask Grayson, who you had fallen into step next to.

“I haven’t decided yet. Ethan probably won’t, though, that’s why we offered to drive you and Jess in the first place.” He gives you a smile and you nod back.

“I can’t lie, after my New Year’s Eve record I probably should chill too.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Maybe I won’t drink much tonight, either. It would be cool to remember the beginning of this year.”

Grayson laughs while rubbing his mouth with his hand. “Do you not remember the past few New Year’s?”

“Not fully, no. I’m not even a crazy drinker, but there’s something about New Year’s that makes me want tequila like it’s water. And tequila never ends well.” You shudder, thinking about all the times it’s done you wrong.

“Yeah, maybe it’s more of a champagne year for you.” He nudges you with your shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.” You nod as you walk into the house.

***

It’s safe to say it was not just a champagne night for you. You were 5 shots in at 11 pm when you decided to cool it. Well, cool it the best you could. You weren’t trashed but you also definitely weren’t sober.

“How’s your champagne?” Grayson walks over to you while you’re sitting on the couch alone, watching everyone else interact.

“Unless champagne has started to taste like tequila, then not very good.” You laugh at your own joke, covering your mouth. He laughs as well, and you can’t tell if it’s with you or at you.

“Do you think you’ll remember tonight?” He raises his eyebrow, sipping from his own cup.

“Oh yeah, I’m about half as drunk as I was last year. I think the issue is that tequila makes me way too brave, one shot or ten” you sigh, looking at him. He looks good tonight. His long hair really suits his sharp facial features. His light facial hair makes him look a bit older than he is, but in a good way. A hot way. And his lips look pink and soft, and you could just lean up and kiss them if you really wanted to. You shake your head as if that will physically remove the thoughts from your brain.

“What?” He giggles, watching your every move.

You’re looking at him with your mouth open now. You can see the flush of his cheeks and the drowsiness of his eyes. You gasp. “Are you drunk?”

He stutters for a moment and you grab the cup from his hand, giving it a sniff.

“Is this a vodka soda?” You give it a sip, feeling the bubbles of the soda go down your throat with the bite of the vodka mixed with it. “Living on the wild side tonight, I see. Is Ethan still good?” You laugh, handing him his cup back.

“Ethan is not in the most sober state, either. And you know Jessie is already messed up. I think we might all just sleep here, if that’s okay.” His eyes scan the room before he slumps back, unable to find his brother or his friend. You lean back right next to him, your shoulders touching.

“Yeah, that’s okay. You’re gonna have to steal clothes from Drew for me to sleep in, though.” You look at his side profile, scanning his face. He really did look good tonight. You see his cheeks heat up a bit more.

“What’re you looking at?” He asks, now turning to face you, too.

“Your cheeks get really red when you’re tipsy.” You giggle, poking his cheek. His nose is almost so close you could touch it with yours.

“It’s not because of the vodka.” He says rather confidently. You raise your brow.

“Oh yeah? What is it then?”

“The pretty girl sitting next to me on the couch.” He turns to face forwards again with a bit of a smirk, sipping from his cup again. You can feel heat rushing to your face and chest. His eyes drift over to you again. “Clearly it happens to you too.” He sounds a bit victorious in his declaration, and you don’t know if it’s your brain or the tequila that tells you what to say next.

“Kiss me.” You blurt out and then quickly cover your mouth. Yeah, it was definitely the tequila who said it.

He sucks in a breath and looks at you again, his eyes dark. “It’s only 11:30, you’re gonna have to wait another half hour for that.” With that, he stands and walks back into his group of friends, leaving you shocked on the couch.

***

Everything past midnight is a blur. Not because of the extra tequila shot you took after your conversation with Grayson, but because of the kiss he gave you after the countdown. It was hot, needy, and purposeful. It didn’t take long after that for everyone to decide where they were sleeping and settle down. Most people were too drunk to even care if they slept in a bed or not. Jessie told you he would get a guest bed for you to share, but you don’t even remember where he said to go because Grayson was looking at you from across the room and everything else disappeared. You nodded at Jessie so that he’d walk away and you could finally go talk to the man whose consumed your mind all night.

“Excited for your sleepover with Jessie?” He asks sarcastically while keeping the charming smile on his face still.

You shrug. “I mean I guess. There’s a different sleepover I’d be more excited for, though.” You do your best to keep your gaze at him innocent while you bite your lip.

“Oh yeah? Which one is that?” He moves to stand next to you as if to survey the room to see who you want to be in bed with tonight.

“Oh my god you’re really gonna make me say it out loud, aren’t you?” You laugh, crossing your arms and turning to look at him again.

“Say what? I’m just an innocent man trying to help a pretty girl out.” He does his best to hide smile but fails. This is the second time he’s called you pretty tonight, and it is definitely the second time it has made you feel butterflies.

“Shut up and show me where you’re sleeping.” You nudge him with your shoulder.

“Unfortunately, I think Ethan and I are being forced to sleep on the living room couch together.” He rubs the back of his head, his confidence faltering for a second.

“Well then that’s what bathrooms are for, right?” You sound hopeful while trying not to be desperate. You don’t want to sound too needy before he’s even taken your pants off.

He smirks at you, putting his hand on the small of your back to start guiding you up the stairs. “You read my mind.” Before you know it, he’s opening the door to a large bathroom and letting you go in first.

You look at your surroundings, taking in the fancy bathroom décor that you thought was unnecessary but still nice. Grayson stood behind you, watching you look around the room. “Are we here to admire the shell soap?” He chuckles.

You turn to him. “What, you don’t think it’s cute?” You giggle, picking up one of the shells to hold between you two.

“I mean sure, but I’ve got my eye on something else in here.” He wraps one hand around your waist, turning you both to face the mirror. You can feel his bulge when you press back against him, looking into his eyes through the mirror.

“Is it the seahorse soap dispenser?” You bite your lip and put the shell pack where you grabbed it from.

“You’re really gonna make me say it out loud?” He mocks you, a humorous glint in his eyes.

You put your arms over his one on your abdomen. “I guess you didn’t make me.” You smile, turning in his grasp. You put both your hands on his shoulders while leaning back on the counter. Grayson puts his hands on your hips, taking a step closer to you. You can feel his warm breath on your face as you are forced to tilt your head up more to keep eye contact with him.

“I can still say it if you really wanna hear it.” He leans closer to you, nipping at your ear. You take in a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve got my eye on the pretty little thing that I plan to fuck on this counter until she forgets what year it is.”

This instantly makes you giggle. “It works in your favor it’s a new year, I already forgot about it.”

“Now that I’ve reminded you, let’s make you forget again.” And that’s when you knew you were fucked in the best way possible. His lips dragged along your jaw to your mouth, kissing you like you were the only girl in the world. You fully wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you as he kisses you deep and hard. His hands travel down to your ass, pulling your center as close to him as possible. After he gives you a squeeze he brings one of his hands around to start unbuttoning your jeans. You pull your mouth away from his for a moment, leaving both of you breathless.

“You’re okay with this, right? You’re not too messed up right now or anything?” He asks as he rests his forehead on yours. Your hands go down his shoulders to rub his arms. A smile manages to show up on your face.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

He laughs before looking back you. “More than good.” And with that he’s kissing you again.

Grayson does his best to finish unbuttoning your pants while still keeping your lips connected. Once he is successful, he breaks away from you to go down and take your heels off. He struggles a bit with the straps, making your giggle.

“It’s not as easy as it looks, huh?” You tease him, lifting your foot when he finally gets one off.

“That was fucking stupid,” he groans, already focusing on your other shoe. He manages to slip that one off quicker than the last, his hands now eagerly going into the loops of your jeans to pull them off as well.

Before you know it, he’s standing between your legs again and his lips are moving along your neck, his hands holding your hips in place. You tilt your head back to give him more room to work his lips, gripping his biceps. Grayson takes a second to breathe, his breath heating your skin up as you think about what he’s going to do to you. He takes this moment to remove your shirt over your head.

When he was met with your bare skin, his eyes popped out of his head. “Here’s to starting the new year off right,” he laughs, barely giving you a second to react to what he said before your nipple was in his mouth. You head falls back as you let out a quiet moan, gripping the back of his head. He moves one of his hands to roll your neglected nipple between his fingers, causing you to moan again but louder this time. “Gotta stay quiet, pretty girl,” he mumbles against your chest.

“Sorry, just feels good,” you breathe out, closing your eyes.

“Pull on my hair when it feels good,” he mumbles, slowly moving to his knees in between your legs. This makes you roll your head forward to watch as he takes in the wet spot covering your center. “How long have you been thinking about me?” He smirks at you.

“Are you gonna question it or are you gonna do something about it?” You giggle, securing your hand in the back of his hair, pushing him forward and closer to your core.

“You’re right, I’ll take what I can get,” he huffs out onto your inner thigh, leaving light kisses there. If he was being honest, he hadn’t gotten any in a while either. Grayson was just as eager as you to be with you like this. That’s why he didn’t waste any time swiping his tongue over your slit, still being able to taste you despite the layer of lace between you two. He lets out a guttural moan, loving the fact he was between your legs right now. He wasted no time in tapping your thighs to get you to lift yourself up enough for him to take your panties off. As the cold air hits you, your legs instantly try to shut. Grayson tisks, shaking his head and pushing you wide open, gripping your thighs tightly with his calloused hands.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, his eyes not leaving your pussy.

“We don’t have to do that whole thing if you don’t wanna,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up.

“What whole thing?” Grayson looks up at you, confused.

“You don’t have to compliment me and stuff,” you look away from him, starring at the wall.

“Hey, look at me,” he squeezes your leg, his eyes soft when you meet them again. “Everything I say, I mean. And I’m saying it because I want to, not because I think you wanna hear it,” he smiles up at you. You take a second to breathe, not expecting to hear that from him. No guy you had slept with had ever been so considerate before. Hell, none of them had ever been ready to eat you out.

You let out a flustered, “thanks,” before his focus was back on your core. He licks slowly up from your hole to your clit, making you grip his hair a bit harder already. He focuses on your clit, sucking and licking it like it’s his last meal. It takes everything in you not to moan loudly, but you manage to just breathe harder instead. Grayson moves one of his hands to your slit, his fingers running up and down while he continues to lap at your clit. It’s when he slides one of his fingers in when you let out a whine, gripping his hair so hard he can’t help but let out a groan of his own. He pumps his finger in and out slowly, making you go crazy. “More, faster, anything,” you breathe out, shifting your hips around.

Grayson removes his lips from you while continuing the movement of his finger. He looks up at you. “Feeling greedy, pretty girl?” He smirks as he stands up, removing finger and causing you to pout. It hits you how he is still completely dressed while you’re totally naked.

“Take your clothes off,” you bite your lip, ignoring his comment. Your own hand goes between your legs, rubbing over your clit gently.

Grayson’s eyes bug out while he watches your movement, before he snaps out of it and pulls his shirt off over his head. He quickly throws it down and begins to work at his pants as you start to squirm. All of a sudden, he stops, his pants around his knees. “Do you have a condom?”

“Me? No. You don’t?” You ask, your fingers slowing as reality begins to hit you.

“Are you on the pill?” He asks hopefully.

You look away for a moment, not really sure what to say. Of course you were, but you don’t know this kid. Raw dogging it on the first date isn’t really your style. Hell, this isn’t even a date.

“I’m clean,” he brings you back to reality, reading your thoughts. You lean back, deciding on what’s best to say next.

“I don’t know that for sure. And how do you know I’m clean?” You ask.

“Let’s make a deal. If we end up catching anything from each other, the person who caused it pays for whatever treatment the other needs,” he holds his hand out, ready to shake on it. You look at him like he’s crazy. “I know I’m not giving you anything, and as long as you’re as confident as me, you should be shaking my hand right about now.”

You hesitate before taking his hand in yours and shaking it twice before pulling him back between your legs. You push his underwear down to where his pants are, your jaw dropping when his dick finally comes out. You assumed he would be well endowed, but nothing like this. What if it didn’t fit?

He chuckles deeply, as if he can read your mind again. “Is that a good look of fear?”

“Definitely,” you giggle, looking up at him as you lick your hand before wrapping it around his base, pumping up and down a couple of times.

“Oh fuck,” he whines, gripping your thighs and closing his eyes for a minute. “No, no. Gonna fuck you,” he grips your wrist, taking your hand off him. Both of your hands move behind you as you lean back a bit, waiting for him to take charge again. Grayson wraps his hand around himself so that he can drag his tip up and down your slit. Before you can get used to the feeling he’s pushing in and you’re groaning. Loudly. So Grayson does what his instincts tell him to and he covers your mouth with his hand.

He leans in and whispers in your ear, “is this okay?” You nod as he bottoms out. Your eyes clamp shut as you take a second to adjust. His free hand moves to your thigh, rubbing It gently.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod again. He pulls out almost completely before slamming his hips back into you, making your eyes roll back into your head. He was stretching you out in the most delicious way, and Grayson felt it too. Your walls were hugging him so tightly, your juices dripping down onto the counter. He rests his forehead on yours, hand still clamped over your mouth as he does everything in his power not to moan. You just felt really good, he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

His hand moves from your thigh to your clit while he continues to move in and out at a quick pace. Sweat begins to drip down his forehead, mixing with the sweat collecting on yours. You can feel his dick nudging that special spot inside you on every thrust and it’s overwhelming. You’re whining into his hand, breathing hard out of your nose. He’s still rubbing your clit at the same pace he’s fucking you and it’s the best combination. Your breathing quickens and he moves his mouth close to your ear. “You gonna cum?” You nod profusely, your toes curling as your heels dig into his ass to make sure he goes as deep as he can.

It feels like a wave of pleasure crashing over you when you finally cum. Your legs are shaking around Grayson’s waist as groans come from deep within your throat. He can feel you clenching around him, your juices continuing to flow out of you around him. He can feel it on his balls as it drips out of you and it makes his eyes roll into the back of his head. Soon he’s pulling out of you, the hand that was once covering your mouth going to his dick as his cum covers your stomach. You both sit there unmoving, just trying to catch your breaths. You rest back on your hands as you giggle a bit, finally looking at him.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks. This makes your cheeks even more red than they already were. No one had been concerned about you after you already finished sex. It was kind of nice.

“Really good,” you sigh out. “You?” You watch as he gets some tissues and he starts wiping his cum off you.

He smiles. “Really good,” he nods along as he finishes cleaning you up. When he goes to throw the tissues out, you laugh because he has to waddle due to his pants still being half on. You’re sliding off the counter when you have to hold the edges to not fall over. He turns to look at you confused. “What?”

“You never even got your pants off.”

He looks down and chuckles, pulling his pants back up, but not buttoning them. “Guess I didn’t.”

You start to pick up your clothes when you pause. You had nothing to sleep in here, and you weren’t about to sleep in the shirt and jeans you came in. Jessie would probably be down to give you his shirt, but he was also probably asleep.

“Here,” he hands his shirt to you. You look up at him for a second before you reach for the shirt.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, putting your clothes back down and slipping the shirt over your head. It barely hit the top of your thighs, but it’s better than walking around totally naked. You slip your panties on under the shirt. Grayson stands there a bit awkwardly, watching you get dressed. You grab your shirt and hand it out to him with a smirk on your face. “Wanna sleep in this?”

Grayson laughs and shakes his head. “Something tells me that would be uncomfortable,” he eyes the sequins, shivering while imagining them against his skin.

You giggle and nod, gathering your jeans and shoes into your hands. “You’re right, it’s not.”

You bite your lip, unsure if you should just say goodbye and dip or what. Grayson interrupts these thoughts when he steps up to you, grabbing your chin and kissing you one more time before he says, “I should probably head to bed.”

You nod in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“You were…this was…I enjoyed that,” he laughs. You smile at him as he walks out. You look out the door to make sure no one is there before you start opening every door to find where Jessie is. You slide into the bed as quietly as possible and fall right asleep.

***

Ethan and Grayson had left by the time you got up. One of Jessie’s other friends drove you guys home once you were ready to leave. Life went on as normal after that.

You and Jessie went back to school. Every semester feels like a nice fresh start, even with the sadness knowing it was your last. You and your friends at school were making every minute of it. Which is why you were disappointed when you were feeling under the weather a couple of weeks into it. You woke up every morning feeling fatigued and nauseous. You assumed it was the school work getting to you. Four years and you’d think you’d be better equipped to deal with the stress.

However, when you started throwing up every morning, you panicked. You throw up once in a blue moon. You have a stomach of steel. When that lasted for an entire week, you decided to go to the clinic. They ask all the usual questions, including if you think you’re pregnant. You tell them there’s a minimal chance but they decide to test you anyway just to be sure.

When the doctor walks back in, they have a smile on their face. “Your pregnancy test came back positive.”

Suddenly you felt nauseous again, but not like all the previous mornings. How could you be pregnant? He pulled out, you’re on birth control. And that’s when you remember. You didn’t take it a for a couple days after New Year’s Eve because you had run out of your current pack and your next pack was at school. You hadn’t noticed your missed period because your birth control had made it almost non-existent to start.

The doctor continues to speak but you only hear the blood rushing through your ears as pure panic sets in. You don’t even have Grayson’s number. He’s a fucking LA YouTuber, he wasn’t even on the same coast as you. You weren’t even friends.

As soon as you get out of the doctor, you call Jessie.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?”

You’re blinking back the tears as you walk to your car. “I need to tell you something.”

***

Read part 2 here!

295 notes · View notes

guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom · 3 years

Text

It Takes Two to Tango

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warnings: Language, guns, knives, violence, self destructive behavior, mentions of mania and depression, mentions of bipolar disorder, descriptions of tattoo guns, slight slut shaming maybe, a bong, allusion to corrupt government, mentions of prostitution, mentions of parental neglect, and mentions of piercings.

Word Count: 6.5k

Songs: Drew Barrymore- SZA, No Role Modelz- J.Cole, Baby Blue- Action Bronson, Little Dark Age- MGMT, Gansta- Kehlani, Shutter Island- Jessie Reyez, Good Days-SZA, King’s Dead, Kendrick Lamar, and Saint Bernard- Lincoln.

“Which was odd because usually he talks the most on these rides. After we got over the initial awkwardness of the whole fire and Vulture thing we fell back into the way of things. Well if he was going to play this game I would too because what’s that saying? It takes two to tango.”

A/N: Hold on tight a lot goes down and it’s not looking up anytime soon.

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

I was running faster than I’d ever had before the heels I had been trying on? Not helping my case. Since this is apparently my brand now I backed myself up onto the edge of the building.

I had a gun trained on me.

“Come with us Y/N please,”

“No! Who the fuck is Y/N?”

“Don’t play dumb ma’am we’ve done extensive research on you and we see you’ve done the same with us,”

I rolled my eyes.

“Fuck you! I have no idea what you’re talking about and this is harassment,”

“You’re cornered there’s no way out,”

The man wasn’t going to shoot me. No one would’ve come all the way out here and have chased me for this long when they had a gun if they were really planning on killing me. They would’ve done it already. And if this was who I thought it was I was not going with them.

“Just come with us, we’re on your side, we’re not trying to hurt you,” That sounds exactly like someone who was going to hurt me would say.

“Yeah says the man who has a gun aimed at me,” I rolled my eyes.

“This is simply a safety precaution, just make this easier for everyone,”

I looked back at him before making my decision. I was getting the hell out of here now.

I bent backwards towards the street underneath me. Instead of free falling I put my hands behind me going into a backbend kickover grabbing onto the ledge.

Using my legs as a propeller I launched myself closer to the wall. I’d gotten lucky and the walls had protruding bricks that I could scale.

The man who I think was from SHIELD was hot on my tail. So I had to move fast. I scaled my way to the nearest balcony jumping into the pool in a leap of faith.

I’d made it in thankfully. Guess my story wasn’t over.

Then I had to run. I was running down the streets. Thankfully this was New York and no one would bat an eye at someone who was drenched head to toe running down the street. They’d just pass me off as another nut job and go about their day.

So much has happened I feel like this is an episode of shameless. You really were too busy to tune in last week you skank ass bitch? I almost died twice and I still managed to check in, whatever, just pay attention to the next clip.

“So that building exploded and that loud siren noise I think I told you about was going off in my ears and when I left the plane with Vulture and Spidey were fighting by a crashed plane and Vulture put too much power onto his wings and they were gonna blow up. And I got mad like fucking top of the anger iceberg mad. So when I was like on the verge of blacking out like fucking fire came out of my hands and disintegrated those wings. Like they turned to ash before my very eyes. Then I had a panic attack of course and that’s pretty much it,”

“Uh… I just called you here to tell you I found something about that SHIELD guy who came after but, I’m glad you’re okay,” Felicia told me.

“Sorry… I guess I got too excited,”

“What'd you find?” I moved over to her in her spinning chair.

“Look and see for yourself,” She moved out the way.

I sighed plopping down onto the small twin bed.

“I know what you’re doing,” I said, picking up a piece of popcorn.

“What are you talking about?” Carmen asked as if she was genuinely confused.

“You’re trying to trick me into eating and sleeping, which is totally not fair because if I want to wallow in self pity I should be able to,”

“I know what happens when it gets bad and I’m not letting you get there again,”

I sighed again. She is always claiming that she sees herself in me and she wants me to be the best version of myself.

She acts like since she’s one year older than me that she’s my mentor or something.

Plus she also thinks I have an undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder so who’s to say everything else she says isn’t a lie also.

We were watching a Wrinkle in Time and I knew I was going to cry when the girl’s dad came back. I always did and I didn’t want to cry today.

“Wanna go do something?”

“Sure... Where are we going?”

“Out,”

I tried on a lot of Carmens clothes and ended up wearing the most extravagant outfit I’d ever worn. I felt extremely giddy for no reason in particular. I was wearing a puffy skirt and corset. We were walking about the streets of Brooklyn with no clear destination in mind just talking.

“I just find it funny that all you have to do to be famous on Tiktok is be white and skinny like smoke a cigarette in a subway station or some shit,”

“Why don’t we get famous?”

“Now how would we get famous,” I poked.

“I’m offended that you don’t think we could,” She stopped on the side of the street.

“Gimme your phone,” She demanded in a kind way.

I plopped it into her palm.

I’d honestly forgotten where I was for a second because I’d zoned out yet again. She put the phone back in my hand and she had made a Tiktok account for the both of us.

She was only checking to see if I liked the account name because she took the phone right back afterwards.

I didn’t mind.

“I should get a tattoo right?” I asked, putting another one of the chamoy gummy worms in my mouth.

“How many do you have now?”

“I think like twelve?”

“And that’s not enough for you?”

“Noo! I like the ones I have. I just want a bigger one.”

“Then do it?”

We were actually in walking distance of a tattoo parlour I just didn’t trust them. Never cheat on your nail tech or hairstylist and it goes the same for tattoo artists.

Two subway rides later we were in Queens. I walked up to the front desk and was about to ask for my go to artist but she walked out the back room before I had the chance.

“Y/N, ‘s that you?” She asked.

“The one and only,” I twirled around in my dress.

“This dress is very different than your usual style but I can’t say I don’t love it,” She pulled at the fabric then glanced up her eyes, lighting up in recognition. She gasped “Is this Carmen?”

I nodded “My bad lemme introduce you to each other. Carmen this is Enchantress and you already know Carmen apparently,”

I’d played a Russian roulette sort of thing with my tattoo Pinterest board just clicking one with my eyes closed. Then there was the buzzing of the gun moving along my skin. Puncturing it in a way that felt extremely bittersweet.

I never understood people who said tattoos hurt. I could always barely feel them. They felt like a simple scrape over your skin. Also at this shop they still give you the wrapping for your tattoo but it’s filled with ink still so you can move it around in the bubble. I like messing with the ink sack. I think that’s why I come here so often.

I was admiring the tattoo on my lower abdomen in the mirror when I was startled.

“Wait!” Enchantress exclaimed, starling me “I just realized you got a piercing. Come here,” She beckoned.

She turned towards me

“It’s actually super straight, did you do this?”

I opened my mouth to respond when Carmen answered for me.

“No, some girl did it for her in her school bathroom,” I really gotta stop telling her everything. She’s always snitching on me.

“I want to be mad but I can’t because it actually looks super healthy,” She titled my chin up to get a better view “However if it gets infected I’m beating your ass,”

We exited the shop after I paid well, Carmen paid but I’ll pay her back. There was a pretty hefty discount too, because Enchantress loved me apparently, I loved her too. She’s an older sister figure like my role model. I mean she was when I was a few years younger. I think I’ve grown out of role models.

I felt a sharp uncomfortable sensation in my body which sort of felt like those anxiety brain zaps but located in my abdomen.

I looked behind me and there was something off about this man who was standing a few feet behind me. I accidently made eye contact with him and he bolted off.

Weird.

“Y/N are you even listening to me?”

“Huh,” I turned in Carmen’s directions “Sorry what'd you say?”

“I was saying that since you got a tattoo, I’m gonna cut and dye my hair,”

“Cool what color?”

“I don’t know yet let’s go just to CVS ‘nd decide there,”

I was sitting on the kitchen counter behind the chair Carmen was in as I applied the bleach to her hair singing along to the song playing.

Why is it so hard to accept the party is over?

You came with your new friend

And her mom jeans and her new Vans

I set the bowl of hair bleach onto the counter hopping down to get ready for my favorite part of the song.

And she's perfect and I hate it

I sang it loudly moving my hands around like I always do releasing my energy. It was almost like therapy. Who am I kidding SZA is therapy.

I used the bathroom and I couldn’t find soap. I looked under the cabinet and found the soap. I also found something else I wasn’t expecting to see. I brought it back into the kitchen with me.

“You have a hello kitty bong?”

She grabbed it from my hands examining it.

“Well actually I stole it from my sister,”

“No way, this is Dinah’s? Because she just got ten times cooler,”

“All I know was she got back in college, then she just stopped using it,”

I finished Carmen’s hair which for some reason she trusted me enough to cut curtain bangs for her honestly they didn’t look too bad. It was just very time consuming.

“Okay but are you sure, how’d you know he’s gay?” Harry questioned leaning back to look at the kid again.

“Just watch,” I raised my voice just enough for him to be able to hear me “Charlie!”

He turned around as if he were stunned that I was talking to him.

“Who me?” He asked.

“Yes you,”

“Oh,”

“So can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah sure I guess…”

“What’s your favorite Percy Jackson book?”

“The answer Lightning Thief is pretty basic but it’s my favorite or maybe the Titan’s Curse, I’m not sure,”

“Okay cool, thank you,” I turned back to face Harry “See,”

“That doesn’t prove anything but okay,”

“He knew more than one book in the Percy Jackson series that tells me all I need to know,”

“I know more than one Percy Jackson book,” He eyed me.

“Yeah and you’re gay,”

He just huffed. Got him there.

“He still wouldn’t fuck you though,” I sat tucked my legs underneath me.

“Whatever shouldn’t you be in your class? Which is it again?”

“Physics,”

“Oh…”

“Oh what? Don’t oh me,”

“You’re avoiding Peter,”

“I’m not avoiding Peter,” I totally was. Just Harry thinks I’m doing it because I like him. I didn’t tell him that but I might've let him believe it, because how do you even go about telling someone Hey I’m avoiding the person because fire came out of my body and they saw it. I’d sound insane.

As I was walking to the gym and by to, I mean away from, but that’s not the point, I could’ve sworn I saw the same man from Saturday in the window near the crowd of students.

Accompanied by the same gut feeling.

I pushed my way into the gym. To avoid him. I bumped into someone. Off instinct I got defensive but then I heard an

“Oh, sorry. Sorry!” Once they’d turned around I realized it had been Peter. Just my luck.

“You’re fine that was basically my fault anyway,”

I was going to just walk over to one of my friends but they weren’t here and Liz literally just left the school. So I had no escape.

Well there was one escape. There’s always a way out.

“Y/N!” The female gym coach called.

“Yes?” I rolled my eyes.

“Where are your gym clothes?”

“Probably in the locker room...”

“Why aren’t you wearing them?”

“I didn’t feel like it,”

“You need to change for your grade, participation is important,”

I picked up my backpack off the floor before pushing open the doors to the girls locker room. Instead of going towards my locker I headed straight for the metal doors leading into the hallway. I went to the space I always seemed to drift to when I had nowhere else to go.

The teachers bathroom.

I know that sounds weird but it’s the only one I can lock. I stole a key a while back when I went to get my phone back from one of the teachers.

I guess Carmen was a psychic or something because one of the videos she’d posted on our group account of us eating in the dresses, me getting that tattoo, and dying Carmen’s hair had blown up.

I did not see her take any of the clips but the proof was right in front of me.

The video had half a million views and I assumed that was because of all the comments helping pushing the algorithm.

Some of them were nice like

hey lol

you’re both gorgeous omg

That tattoo is cool af

I want to be you

I should pay you to do my hair lmao

I can't tell if i want to be you

The other half were like

No child should be getting a tattoo you look so young

That is the devils sign I’m praying for you.

Why please Go To God✝️✝️🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️

Im praying for you

At first I was confused as to why half of the comments were people praying. Then I realized it was because Carmen had on her pentagram necklace.

I’m definitely not complaining about the comments though because they got me that many views, likes, and follows, but the ignorance upsets me. A pentagram only represents Earth, Air, Water, and Fire it’s about balance.

I think it’s cool, kinda like the Avatar. It has nothing to do with Satan. I didn’t really want to think about Fire. I was still freaking out about Friday. It hadn’t happened again so maybe I dreamt it or something.

Somehow I spent the rest of gym and half of what should’ve been me heading to detention responding to every Christian’s comment with something dumb or witty.

I was walking towards the detention room and was startled by Peter. Again.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Um… this is gonna sound insane but,” he paused looking down fiddling with his hands.

My face twisted up in confusion as to why he still hadn’t spoken.

“Are you gonna to speak…”

“Oh. Oh!” He looked back up “Yeah you remember my internship right?”

“Yeah…” I guess he was going to act like I didn’t know about him being Spiderman again.

“So now Mr. Stark is interested in you and wants you to come with me upstate,”

“Why me?”

“I’m not sure, but if you’re coming someone is outside waiting for us,”

I’m sure this was just another attempt to lure me into some SHIELD mess. However Peter had no idea about Thorn or any of the other fucked up shit I’d done. So it would look suspicious if I didn’t go. Because what kid or any other person wouldn’t want to meet Tony Stark.

“Okay then, what are we waiting for?”

The ride there was completely silent. I spent the whole time texting Carmen as she complained about her boyfriend. I really hated him oh my God. Peter had gone into the building about 15 minutes ago.

“Okay, if he’s always getting on your nerves and trying to control you why are you still with him?” I asked in the snap meant for Carmen.

“You know why, I’m not going to say it because then you’d get mad at me,” She sent a video back.

“Thank you I do not want to hear about your boyfriends dick-,” I was interrupted by a knock on the window “Okay I can’t talk got to go,” I sent the video before sliding across the seat pushing the door open.

“What happened?” I asked as Peter sat back in the car.

“It was a test,” He said, providing no further elaboration.

The back window was rolled down and the guy who drove us here. Happy, I think. There is no way that was his real name. He stuck his face in the window.

“Hey, the boss wants to see you now,”

I turned back to Peter and whispered.

“The boss? Am I about to walk into some mafia meeting,”

He just laughed at that.

“We don’t have much time,” Happy urged.

As we began walking the halls of the giant building as I pocketed random trinkets that I could sell for a quick buck.

“So what’s your real name?” I asked Happy since this whole time he was leading me it was a silent ride.

He continued to ignore me.

So I asked again. I could tell from his body language that I was getting on his nerves.

I asked twice more and by the time the last sentence came out of my mouth we’d already reached our destination. He walked away not before mumbling a quick I hate kids.

“Y/N it’s nice to meet you,” Tony greeted as he reached out to shake my hand. I allowed it.

“You’re a lot shorter in person,” I pointed out after releasing his hand.

“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” He reached for a bowl putting something in his mouth. “Grape?” He offered.

“No thank you,” Not like they’d be poisoned or anything, no one had even gotten the chance to question me yet. Also there was the fact that he was eating them but this could be a Princess Bride situation. Not taking any chances.

“Okay,” He clapped, dusting his hands. “Let’s get to the point now,”

“So I’ve been informed that you had an instance with pyrokinesis,” He continued after I nodded. “I was hoping to research this to get to the bottom of this,”

“So you want to use me as a lab rat?”

“No of course not, the research would be used purely for your personal benefit,”

For my benefit my ass. They were going to turn me into a lab rat or a soldier.

“Okay I’ll think about it,” Thought about it. A hard hell no.

“If you do choose to do so since you are a minor I’ll need parental consent,”

“Of course,” I nodded.

There was a pamphlet that I wasn’t going to read. I wasn’t really going to ask for permission. Was I? If I wasn’t then why was I back at ”my” house.

I just missed my bed, it was messy but it was mine.

I started sobbing for no reason at all. Maybe it was the old sketchbooks on my bed, or my mom's broken jewelry box. It could’ve been the smell of incense that never left from the lack of ventilation. It was probably the pile of crystals on my dresser. Then again it could’ve been the nazar eye amulet from the broken bracelet on the ground or the hole in the wall where I used to keep my favorite knife. Maybe it was all of those things. Maybe it was so much more. Maybe it was something different entirely. Maybe it was the colors of the wind. Who knows.

My eyes stung as my eyeliner dripped down and into them. I blinked the tears away as I went through all my clothes and I mean ALL my clothes.

I found another bodycon dress. I slipped it on after stuffing a few other articles in my bag. I continued searching to the very back of my closet and I found an old purse. There were at least $50 in the back pocket and in the front pocket there were- Oh.

There was a small plastic bag with at least 500gs of Xanax. I must’ve left them there after Washington.

I wasn’t going to take them. I really wasn't; I just put them in the bra. You know for safe keeping. I heard the front door open and made a break for the balcony.

Although I’d regularly seen my sisters. I still hadn’t seen my dad since I’d left. They’d seen him a couple times though he was fine with the idea of them staying at our grandma’s for who knows how long. He doesn’t care as long as he’s still got that girlfriend of his. I can only imagine what he told her about us not staying with him.

I jumped down the stairs of the fire escape and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. As something hit my calf.

I looked down to see it was just Salem climbing up my leg. I lifted her up to my chest nuzzling the top of her head.

“Hiii baby!” I cooed in a baby voice.

I now more carefully made my way down the steps so as to not disrupt her. Now I was going to go straight to my grandma’s house to drop off the clothes, but I wanted to go shopping before it got too late.

I already had no money so I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea but there I was with a $300 charge on my credit card.

I probably looked insane walking around the mall with a cat in my backpack and black streaks underneath my eyes.

If you’ve never done this I highly recommend it. Every subway train comes with carts and the last cart is a door with railing and no other restrictions. You can just sneak into the very back.

The wind hitting your face is the most freeing thing in the world and you can scream as loud as you want and no one will hear you. That fact can be unsettling to some but to me it’s beautiful.

Releasing your true emotions to no one but you and yourself. I closed my eyes holding onto the railing with one hand and Salem in the other. I put her back into my backpack before sitting down.

Since the app is addicting, and you can’t tell me it’s not, I opened Tiktok and the first thing I saw is a guy pouring what I hoped wasn’t I thought it was into a bowl.

So naturally my first reaction was to make a video about it because who doesn’t overshare on the internet.

“Tell me why,” The track rumbled underneath me, making Salem whine, I picked her up letting her cuddle into my chest.

“Okay, I have a cat now but-” The track rumbled again “It’s so fucking loud but tell me why I opened this hellfire app and see some dude pouring cum into a bowl, I hate everyone,”

Within like six minutes of me posting it I had multiple likes and comments.

The only reason being is that Harry dueted.

I gotta say being the kid of a mayor and a multimillionaire gives you some form of clout. So he had a pretty heft following.

Harry’s similar to me in the way that we’re mean to our friends. So naturally we’re ”mean” to each other.

“You look stupid,” Harry claimed in his video “Also who’s fucking cat did you steal put it back and get in the trains properly and go wash your face,”

I hadn’t even realized I was on my new account at first.

Of course I made a response video.

“First of all this is my cat, her name is Salem and she’s adorable” I mean not really but she belongs to no one else, and I feed her. “Second, ignore my eyeliner. I actually think it looks kinda cute,” Lie, It just made me look crazy. “Also how'd you even find this account so fast? Stalker. I’d advise you shut up before I post your phone number then you’d have to ward off groupies. I’m sure you’d like that though.”

I’m pretty sure the majority of the people in our comments thought we were being serious. So in turn they commented things like I have no idea who you are but I’m on your side, is this gonna be another scandal, or here before the news is talking about it.

I’m not complaining. His history of scandals got me to 5k followers for the pure assumption that I was involved in some other secret.

My mind was moving at 100 miles per hour. It felt like I was on a whole bottle of adderall. I was going somewhere. At least I remember I was supposed to be somewhere. I’m pretty sure my grandma’s house was where I was going. Right?

“No weapon against you shall prosper mija,” My grandma squeezed my hand “You are stronger than you know,”

“I know. Thank you,”

I’d got here and we had a 30 minute conversation about my mental health without outright saying anything about mental health. It was just mostly her taking shots at my dad. With the exception of her telling me I was dressed like una furcia.

“Okay well,” I pushed up off the couch “I just came to bring some clothes and I need to get back anyway,”

“Get back to where, where are staying?” She asked.

“Oh you remember MJ right?” I lied.

“Oh yes, I like that lil’ girl,”

I went into the guest room to where my sisters were staying. I could hear rustling as I got closer to the room. I flicked on the lights. To see both of my sisters asleep. It was only 10:30 so that was highly unlikely.

“I know you’re not sleep it’s just me,”

They peeled open their eyes, sitting up.

“I come bearing gifts,” I announced kneeling down next to the bag.

I placed the bag on the floor carefully so I wouldn’t hurt Salem.

Sapphire squealed when she saw her.

“You got Salem? I missed her!”

“Well actually, I just brought clothes,” I dumped them on the bed “Aaliyah come here?” I asked.

She hopped down from the bed.

“All of Sapphire’s clothes are over there but I know we’re like the same size so pick what you want,” I told her.

She took at least half of what I had but I wasn’t complaining because at least she wasn’t going behind my back and taking them.

“Okay but like am I really allowed to hate my father like cause,” I tried to move only to immediately lose balance “Shit- but like can I even hate my dad if I do the same shit he does, like maybe, maybe it’s like some contractual blood magic shit and I’m just destined to be a shitty person,” I was sending videos to some group chat I didn’t know who was in it because I couldn’t really read the name I just know Harry was the only one responding.

“I get it being like your parents is scary but you’re not and I won’t let you be like that, now get some sleep please,” Harry reassured.

“NO! It’s like,” I struggled to get the sentence out “It’s like crazy because before I existed it like someone fucking planted this, like it- it’s a-,” I hit my forehead on each word as if I could physically knock them out. “It’s a seed in my brain and it’s only going to grow as I get older and I’m just gonna be an asshole, it’s fucking happening already and I-“ Carmen came into the living room I flipped the camera onto her “Say hi!” I slurred.

“Y/N you okay?” She said making her way over to me. I stopped the video and sent it.

“I’m fine how are you?”

“I thought you went to bed,” she ignored my question.

“I did. Then I couldn’t sleep,” I leaned back onto the couch. She crouched down next to me feeling my forehead.

“You have a fever,” She claimed.

“No I don’t! Why does everyone keep saying that?” I whined.

“Are you high?” She moved closer to my face.

“No I’m not fucking high,”

“You’re slurring your words,” She pointed out moving into the kitchen “What’d you take?”

“What?”

“I said what’d you take,” She going into one of the cabinets “I know you’re not drunk because you don’t smell like alcohol and you don't smell like weed, so I’ll ask you again,”

“I didn’t take anything, I'm not high!” I explained.

“It was Benadryl wasn’t it?” She came back into the living room and handed me a glass of water. “You know that stuff kills people,”

“Yeah I think I of all people would know that,” Truth is I wasn’t lying. I didn’t take anything. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe sleep deprivation.

“True,” She sat down on the floor next to me “You know how I said I can tell when it’s getting bad,” I nodded. “Well like I was saying before it’s getting bad for you-”

“No it’s not,” I interrupted “I’m literally the happiest I’ve ever been today,”

“I was getting there,” She held her hands up in an attempt to placate me “That’s just the calm before the storm it’s mania,”

“I’m not manic! Stop trying to psychoanalyze me I’m perfectly fine,”

I must've woken Salem up because I could hear her footsteps as she paddled over to me and sat in my lap. It’s like she knew when I was getting angry.

“That’s the thing you’re not fine, just let me know when you’re ready to admit that,” She pushed off the ground using her hands “Try to get some sleep please and thank you,”

I think it was the weight and warmth of Salem on my chest that finally lulled me to sleep like a weighted blanket.

“Sapphire!” I yelled to catch her attention “Stop running you’re gonna hurt yourself,”

She slowed down before making her way back to Aaliyah and the other kids at this birthday party.

I sat back down on the table’s bench before getting back on my phone. I saw this post one time about how people use technology to distract themselves so they can't have the chance to have a depressive thought. Then I decided to prove that theory wrong so I put my phone up and I thought.

And boy did I have a lot to think about. The biggest thing on my mind was why. Why did Tony Stark come after me? Why did the guy with the gun come after me? Why did my mom feel the need to make an “Incase I die” video? Why did she have connections to people like Kingpin? Why did she even know Wade? Wasn’t he some science experiment gone wrong?

Then that got me thinking what if I was a science experiment gone. What if that’s why Tony Stark wanted to experiment on me. What if that was under the orders of someone from SHIELD, because how would he have known about me otherwise.

Welp, there was only one way to find out.

“Okay I’m in,” I settled. “What do I have to do?”

“Uh are you sure?” Tony asked.

“Positive,” I affirmed.

“Well first we would probably do some blood tests and an MRI. Then see where that takes us.” He looked back over at me “Can you do this tomorrow?”

“Yeah tomorrow works for me,”

“Great,” He clapped his hands together “I’ll send Happy to pick you up from school,”

“No it’s fine I can get here myself.”

“It’s a different location,” He revealed.

“Okay tell me where it is and I’ll make it there myself,”

“I can’t not even I know where it is,”

“Fine, I’ll do this, but only if I can bring a friend,” I requested “You know for safety reasons?”

“Safety reasons? Do you not trust me?”

“Not really…”

“Wow okay, you can bring this friend,”

“Who doesn’t trust Iron man?'' I heard him mutter to himself as I made my way out of the building.

I always thought the apocalypse would come in colors. The sky flashing from red to pink to purple to orange. Then there would be a loud sound almost like the Big Bang. Then nothing. I had a vivid imagination when I was younger.

I guess I was wrong though because it was already here and the sky was as blue as ever. And the air was as humid as ever in this crusty ass building.

“I told you already I’m not a soldier you’re gonna have to pay me for this,” I spoke into the comms.

“Shh,” Tony hushed “Just wait for your target.”

Life hadn’t been all that bad. Just for the past two weeks I’d been training with Peter since at the end of the week that I agreed to testing, Spiderman joined in the Avengers officially. Which, good for him I guess.

Trying to get my brain back on track now. I’d been training with Peter and now we’re going on our first mission. I was not loyal to Tony at all. Nor would I ever be. I’m not calling him Mr. Stark like Peter does either, he doesn’t deserve it. I was trying to look up my mom with the information Felicia gave me and I saw she was listed as level orange in a shield file. Whatever that means.

One thing it meant was I couldn’t back out just yet now.

This would be one deep inside job.

“Peter?” I whispered into the comms

“Hello?” He asked.

“Where are you?”

“I’m guarding the entrance like I was told too?” He asked more than stated.

“Well, come here,”

“But Mr. Stark said-“

“I don’t care what Mr. Stark said come here,” I interjected without even thinking about the fact he could’ve been listening in somehow.

“Yes?” He questioned once he was standing in front of me.

“Take my role for a second,” I pulled my gun out the holster “You know how to use a gun right?”

I thought back to the last time we’d actually fought as our alter egos. Except then he didn’t know it was me and he still doesn’t. He definitely didn’t know how to use a gun then let’s just hope he did now.

“You know what, I don’t have time just take it,” I placed the gun in his palm before speeding off.

“Wait!” He called out “Aren’t you defenseless now?”

“I’ll be fine baby boy,” I called back.

I made my way into the farthest depths of the warehouse. I’d been here once before. That was before I knew Felicia and we’d gotten into a scuffle about a diamond. Let’s just say I was young and I went home bruised that day.

Apparently I was under the impression she had it and she was under the impression I had it this whole time. So maybe. Just maybe it was still there. It was somewhere in the back last time I checked.

There it was. I grabbed it and recoiled when I heard a voice accompanied by the sharp zap in my body.

“Looking for something?” They asked. I turned around only to be faced with a large burly almost Frankenstein looking man.

“Oh yeah I was looking for you actually, you just made my job a lot easier,”

As if my words were a signal for him. They probably were. He lunged forward towards me with his left side fully open. I evaded and left a sharp kick to his side.

He wailed out in pain before slinging me backward as I tried to reach for the diamond off the floor.

I skidded across the floor before hopping back to my feet.

“I found the guy,” I spoke into the comms.

“Who are you talking to?” The target teased.

“Your mom,” I taunted.

“Hey!” He cried.

“Where are you?” I heard Peter ask I didn’t get a chance to answer because the man swung at me again.

That hit made contact with my shoulder. He continued to swing and I continued to walk backwards. I realized almost too late that I was backing myself into a corner.

I’m not sure where or who I heard this from maybe Wade but sometimes the only point your opponent has his guard down is mid punch.

I scrambled for my knife, fingers dancing around the holster on my waist as my feet continued to slide along the pavement underneath me. Just as the man swung at me again I sent my knife towards his torso. Except it didn’t make contact. And I had never missed before, especially not from this close.

I was confused until I realized it was because I heard that all familiar wet sticky sound of Spider-Man’s web shooters except this time I was glad to hear it.

Peter webbed the man's arms and mouth all while my fingers went lax in shock for only a moment but one moment too long.

The knife clattered to the ground making a noise that drew Peter’s attention. I tried to swipe it away with my foot but Peter had already grabbed it.

“This is Thorns knife,” He spoke calmly and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or if it was for himself.

“And how would you have Thorns knife unless you were,” I saw his eyes light up as he made the connection. “Wait, you’re Thorn, holy shit, I’m so stupid how’d I not notice before,”

“Peter seriously you can’t tell anyone,”

He looked up as if he were just noticing I was still there.

“Don’t worry I won’t be saying anything at all,”

Yeah, this was definitely the apocalypse because I don’t know if it was just me but life was ending.

Another silent ride and I realized exactly what he’d meant when he said he wouldn’t say anything. He was giving me the silent treatment.

Which was odd because usually he talks the most on these rides. After we got over the initial awkwardness of the whole fire and Vulture thing we fell back into the way of things. Well if he was going to play this game I would too because what’s that saying? It takes two to tango.

Taglist:

@tomdiddlyumptious

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silver-wield · 4 years

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The Promise Analysis (Cloti)

Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol

So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.

As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.

Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.

In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.

Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.

So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.

Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.

Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.

GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!

If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.

We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.

Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.

Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.

Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).

Where was I?

Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.

From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol

What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.

Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.

Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down.

Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol

Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.

He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.

Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.

Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!

Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”

Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.

Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.

I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)

Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.

Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.

Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.

I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.

And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.

But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.

And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.

From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.

And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.

At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.

Conclusion

This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.

Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.

And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?

After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.

She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.

The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.

And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.

He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.

That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home.

This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #cloti #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #the promise #Cloud Strife #Tifa Lockheart

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thefledglingdm · 4 years

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so here’s another essay that maybe 0.5 people asked for? because i rewatched set it up and now someone great and in so many ways i think i arguably like someone great better???? so here is the long-winded rambly mess of me being emotional over this movie. info is below the cut, no pressure to read just bc i’m having rom com feelings this saturday night!!!!

for those of you who have never seen someone great (why are you reading this? i’m flattered but why), here’s a quick summary: when music reporter jenny gets an amazing new job opportunity, bad news comes with it: she has to move cross-country. to top it all off, her boyfriend of nine years breaks up with her because he doesn’t want to move with her. enter her best friends erin and blair, who decide to send off their best friend in style with a mind-bending 24 hours of partying and emotional catharsis.

a disclaimer: this movie also has a special place in my heart because it came out right as i was getting set to graduate from grad school. so many of my friends had moved on and moved away already, but i was about to do that, too, shucking off the safety blanket of school and entering into the “real world.” and this movie, i think, uniquely captures that feeling in a way no other film i’ve personally seen does? more on that later.

GOD where even do i start.

jenny so captures the feeling of being dumped. the anger, the ugly, loud crying, the messiness of it, the drinking, the up-and-down bevy of ping-ponging emotions. she belts lizzo’s “truth hurts” in her underwear, in her kitchen, drunk. her best friend then walks in and joins her. like yes THAT is what girls and breakups feel like.

(obvs not for everyone but i felt seen)

(the night of one of my college breakups ended with me on my best friend’s floor, wine-drunk and full of domino’s pizza, critiquing her presentation for an upcoming history conference.)

her best friends are there for her and love her and support her, taking the day off work to stay with her. but they also give her tough love when she needs it. and she does need it.

also that bond between women bc jenny is just bitching about her breakup to a random woman on the subway and she’s like, “yo fr???? he sucks”

this movie is also so hilarious???? these girls have been best friends since college and it SHOWS. they do all these goofy silly things together, they have in-jokes and references, they make fun of each other. they tease each other about their boyfriends/girlfriends. they smoke and drink and get high together. they SWEAR. they have foul mouths and my bffs and i did too.

god the LINES. like

“yo. i went to say hello to a chihuahua outside our building, and it was a fucking rat.”

“it’s... like a green juice smoothie. that’s kind of genius.” “she made me try it. it’s fucking disgusting. i am drowning out here.”

“we’ll tell them her mom died!” “oh my god????” “ugh, fine. her aunt.” “i don’t think you understand what is fucked up about this suggestion.”

“ooooh, you gave me my favorite mug, you do love me!!!” and the mug is a mini-toilet.

“blair, watching you take down all those carbs has been the highlight of my whole, entire life.”

“what happens next???? i turn thirty and then i probably die.”

*sobbing* “and like.... i really want to go to the farmer’s market with you. that sounds really nice.” “great fresh produce.”

the representation is so good??? jenny is Latina; erin is a Black lesbian; erin’s girlfriend is a South Asian designer.

no i’m gonna go into my thesis now which is that this is the only movie i’ve seen that actually serves as a “coming of age” movie that is not aimed at teens. it’s not about finding yourself in high school or college or coming to terms with your sexuality (which are all important!!! but as someone in my mid-20s, who has graduated and is comfortable in my gender and sexuality, those movies aren’t for me. and i hadn’t realized how much i needed a movie like this for me until i saw it for the first time).

this is a movie about looking around at your life and realizing that you’ve outgrown it. this is a movie about what it’s like to keep growing up, because you don’t graduate college/grad school and suddenly you’re an Adult and it’s all Figured Out. it’s not!!!!! and that’s okay!!!!!! you may think you have a Life Plan but then it goes off the rails and things change and it’s hard and it’s scary and it’s okay because we all feel it. we all grow up.

like.... people fall out of love. relationships change. people get jobs and move away. it’s scary. and the way that it’s described.... jenny’s realization that her breakup with nate was a long time coming, because they actually hadn’t been happy in a long time. when blair breaks up with her boyfriend in the single most amicable, polite breakup scene i’ve ever watched. they’re not angry or hurt, they’re relieved. and it’s so refreshing to watch an example of a breakup that is a relief, because two people are being freed from their own expectations, of their lives, of each other, of themselves.

and this also talks about the fear of really, truly falling in love for the first time. the vulnerability, the recognition that now everything in life is changing.

when jenny holds her best friends and confesses, “i don’t know life without this.” when erin screams that she is afraid of everything about growing up, because that means that she needs to change. truly everything about jenny’s goodbye letter to nate.

god i just. “i don’t know life without this” hits me in the fucking face because that’s exactly how i felt about living with my best friend and moving out to move in with my partner, about my eboard group of besties splitting and moving all over the country, about my group of friends that supported me through the worst moments of my life and encouraged me to embrace myself, my healing, and my sexuality? and there was something Terrifying about the notion of moving away, about all of us separating and growing apart. and to see a movie that showed that that fear was natural, and it was okay, and there were some friendships that last forever? and even if they don’t, that doesn’t mean they were without love and meaning? it was something that i needed at the end of my education career.

also jenny and erin joke about apparently facetiming each other on the toilet and that made me scream bc my best friend and i literally do text each other each time we shit, and also it’s usually at the same time. you know you’re besties not just when your periods sync, but when your shit cycles do, too.

yeah i feel like we’ve all gotten to know each other really well in this post.

also the soundtrack FUCKING SLAPS. the intro to lorde’s “supercut?” jenny singing along to selena’s “dreaming of you” in her bodega? jenny’s realization that things are truly over between her and nate, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, and it’s okay, to jessie reyez’s “great one?” jenny cry-singing to “truth hurts” by lizzo? the super-fun scene of the three getting ready for their hedonistic night out to lil kim’s “the jump off?” cinematic brilliance.

also the cameos??? jaboukie young-white and rupaul are in it. they’re hysterical, especially jaboukie young-white oh my GOD

tl;dr this is the coming-of-age movie to women in their mid-20s when we feel like Death Is Coming at age 30 when really life is just beginning. life is about change. sometimes we outgrow our lives, and that’s okay.

anyway please watch this movie look how ADORABLE and CUTE and BEAUTIFUL THEY ALL ARE

#someone great #jj speaks #sorry i just love this movie a lot thank u for your time

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pennylanefics · 4 years

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Till We Meet Again - Tom Blake

a/n: this is not sad, don’t worry! it’s sweet :) i just couldn’t find a better gif to use lol

warnings: mentions of wounds, blood, stitches. i tried to be discrete as possible with descriptions of it!

•••

The war had been going on for three years now, and your time as a nurse has been the same. When talks of the war began to brew, you were recruited, along with a bunch of other women, to train more deeply in the medical field. You already knew some things, but they taught you the specifics, like how to treat a gunshot wound, a stab wound, pretty much everything.

So when you were stationed in France in 1914, you were ready for anything that was thrown at you. And you sure did see a lot; too much for anyone to see on a regular basis. But you grew used to it, the blood on your hands and clothing felt like they were permanently stained.

Every night, you wished that this useless war would end, no good would ever come out of something so violent and harsh. These men, these young men, were dying every single day, and if they weren’t dead, they were either severely crippled or traumatized forever.

The years go by fast, thankfully they give breaks to nurses every now and then, to spend time away from the battlefield and all. Now, the war was three years in, and you didn’t feel like it would be coming to an end soon.

Every day, you had more and more soldiers coming to your aid post, with wounds bleeding out or head injuries from debris or whatever it was. You were growing tired of treating the same injuries all the time, but you had no choice.

On one particularly dreary April day, it was quite slow. You had heard from a fellow nurse that the Germans had advanced back, abandoning their front line and leaving territory open, meaning that no one was fighting there at the moment.

So, you took the time to relax, knowing that if anything were to happen, it would be at night. Kicking your feet up on another chair, you begin reading a book you had stored away in your things from home; it was the one thing that kept you sane during these times.

But, your relaxation was interrupted when loud, desperate yells sounded from right outside the post.

“Help me! Please help me!” The voice shouted. Looking around, you find a young soldier, a lance corporal, carrying a fellow soldier, who looked to be bleeding out on his side. You and Jessie, the other nurse, quickly run over to them, helping him carry the other lance corporal over to a bed.

“What happened?” Jessie asks. She attempts to calm him down as you begin tearing at the clothing of his friend, or fellow soldier.

“We-we, I-”

“Okay, why don’t you take a seat over here and let her do what she needs to,” she says, walking him over to the other side of the canopy. You work quickly, preparing to stitch his wound up after cleaning it and assessing the damage. You decided that he was going to survive, if you could stitch him up quickly.

You were quiet while you worked, though you could feel Jessie’s and the blonde soldier’s eyes on you as you did. The brunette soldier had passed out at this point, the pain being much for him. But you made sure to check his pulse and see if he was still alive every now and then.

After twenty minutes or so, you finished, wiping your hands on your apron.

“Is he gonna be alright?” The blonde wonders.

“Yes, he should be. It may be awhile before he wakes up, but I successfully stopped the bleeding and sewed him up.”

“I wish I could stay, but I have to deliver a message to the Second Devons, that’s where we were headed when this happened. I have to leave now.”

“Wait! What message?” Jessie wonders. “What happened to him?”

“I have orders to stop tomorrow’s attack. They are walking into a trap that the Germans have been planning for months. If not, we could lose sixteen hundred men.” Your jaw drops at the number mentioned, knowing that the aid posts at that front line were going to be overwhelmed.

“I will be back tomorrow or the next day, if I’m still alive. If he happens to wake up, tell him I am on my way to Ecoust. Goodbye.” With that, he turns and leaves, running in the direction of which he came from.

“That was odd,” you whisper. “I wonder if he’ll make it.”

“Ecoust isn’t that far, but no one has any idea what he’s walking into because that place is crawling with Germans.”

“We never got their names either.” You walk over to the soldier and check his ID bracelet.

“Lance Corporal Thomas Blake,” you murmur, going back to your seat.

“We’ll see what happens.”

As the day goes on, you continue treating the couple of soldiers that were still slowly recovering, and checking to make sure Tom was still alive, as well as treating the few more soldiers that showed up.

Night time came and Tom had yet to wake up. Every other soldier that was in the tent had been moved to recovery a few yards away. So it was just you, Jessie, and Tom.

“I wonder if that lance corporal made it to the Second Devons or not,” Jessie says.

“I hope so. He looked very determined and it seemed very urgent.” In the middle of your conversation, a groan sounded through the silent air, and you are quick to your feet, running over to the soldier.

“Wh-what happened?” Tom groans, eyes lidded with exhaustion and sleep.

“You were stabbed, it seems. Your friend couldn’t say much when you arrived, but from my experience, it’s a stab wound.” He huffs and tries to sit up, but you stop him immediately.

“You need to rest. You’re still very weak. We’ll transport you to recovery in the morning.” Tom nods and lays back down, staring up at you.

“Were you the one who saved me?” He asks, his voice gravelly and rough.

“Yes. I was the one who stitched you up. Your friend is the one who brought you here.” He suddenly becomes more alert, worrying you.

“Will...did, did he leave for the Second Devons?” He wonders, urgency filled in his voice.

“As far as I know, he left right after I was done stitching you up. He knew the way and he seemed determined to make it.” Tom relaxes at the news, reaching for your hand, which you let him do so. Usually, when the soldiers got handsy, you slapped them away. But Tom seemed different.

From the short time that he had been awake, you could tell there was a sense of innocence to him, that he was terrified of the war and all he wanted to do was go home. So, you allowed him, just this once.

“Please stay with me,” he whispers, a desperate tone in his voice. “Please, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to keep you here overnight and move you to recovery early in the morning.”

“No, I can’t. I want to stay with you.” A small smile appears on your lips, the thought of Tom wanting to be by your side warming your heart.

“I wish that was possible, Tom, but we have to keep these beds open for incoming wounded. If you start healing, we need to send you to recovery.” Tears begin to fall from his eyes, shining in the gas light lanterns that were hung around the tent.

“How about this, I’ll visit you towards the end of the day, but I have to be back by sunset,” you bargain. Tom smiles and nods, wincing as he finally feels the pain in his side.

“Get some more rest, okay? We’ll be here all night in case anything happens.” He nods and closes his eyes as you go back over to Jessie.

“Are you really going to go to recovery to comfort him?” Jessie asks in a hushed tone. You give her a side stare for a moment before looking down at your hands.

“He seems young, terrified.”

“Every soldier that comes here is most likely young and terrified. What’s different with him?” You pause for a moment, wondering what you feel differently about.

“I don’t know…” you taper off, not having a true answer for her.

—

Sure enough, when the sun broke the hillside, you and Jessie transported Tom over to recovery. You talked to him the entire time, carrying the side where his head was. He seemed a bit happier, telling you all about his friend Will, the other soldier who was with him.

When you dropped him off, he gave you one last goodbye wave.

“I’ll see you tonight Nurse…”

“(Y/N). Just (Y/N).” He smiles as you walk off with Jessie back to your station.

“Why didn’t you just ask Eden to switch posts with you for the night?” Jessie asks.

“Because I’ve been in recovery before. Every man there thinks he’s entitled to touch and harass me as a reward for surviving. It happens at night, especially.”

“Shit. Some of these men are just awful.”

“But not Tom,” you grin, thinking about his bright blue eyes that captivated you.

“You fancy him, don’t you?”

“I think he’s very cute.”

“How old is he in the first place?”

“Only a year younger than me, nineteen.”

“You two are smitten, I can tell.”

“We’ll see.”

Later that day, when the sun is finally beginning to set, you make your way over to the recovery tent where Tom is at. Thankfully, most of the soldiers that were there today have now moved, and there were only a couple left, including Tom.

“Hey,” you greet, setting your chair right next to Tom’s bed. A huge smile appears on his lips as he sits up a little, still sore from the injury.

“Hi! I missed you all day.”

“Because it was such a long time.” He chuckles and sticks his hand out for you again. You gladly take it and thread your fingers through his. Glancing down at them, he squeezes your hand and places his other on top of yours.

Tom is quick to jump into a conversation about his family back home, how his dog is having puppies and everything about his brother. Before you know it, the sun has set and the air has grown cold.

“Well, I need to get back to my post,” you mumble quietly. Tom nods and keeps ahold of your hand as you stand up, grabbing onto your chair.

“Will you come visit me tomorrow night again?” He asks.

“I will try to, Tom. See you later.” As you walk away, you finally drop his hand and he watches as you trudge back up the slight hill to your post.

*a week later*

You were tending to a wounded soldier that had been brought to your post when a figure stepped up to the tent, standing there.

“I’ll be right with you, sir,” you say, focusing on your work. When you finished, you rinsed your hands in the bowl next to the bed, wiping them on your apron after. Finally, you turn to the soldier, ready to dress his wound, when you find Tom standing there, a new uniform covering his body.

“Tom, what is it?” He smiles and steps closer to you.

“They’re sending me home. I can’t bend over anymore, even though it’s still not fully healed, it’s still tender. I can’t hunch over while walking through trenches anymore, so they’ve released me.”

“That’s great to hear, Tom. I’m happy that you finally get to see Myrtle’s puppies and your mum’s orchard.”

“Yeah, I am happy. But I am going to miss you,” he mumbles, eyes casting to the ground in a shy manner. You reach up and tuck your finger under his chin, to make him look back up at you.

“Don’t be sad. Be happy that you’re alive, and I know you’ll always remember me for saving your life,” you chuckle. Tom laughs as well, his blue eyes boring into yours.

“I promise to find you once the war is over,” he says. You are shocked by his words. With no idea of when the war was going to end, he wanted to be with you? He barely knew you, only in the short week that he’s been in your care and recovery.

“How?” Tom hands you a letter, his scribbly handwriting on the front, reading “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL THE WAR IS OVER”. You chuckle and smile at the phrase, not knowing when the war would even end.

“Who knows when this war will end? You will find someone else, someone perfect for you, Tom,” you say, handing the letter back to him.

“No,” he stops you. “Keep it. Please. I would really like to reconnect after.”

“Alright.” Tom smiles and leans forward to press a kiss to your cheek.

“Till we meet again, (Y/N).”

“See you later, Tom.” With that, he walks off, facing you as he does before eventually turning away. You watch as he trudged alongside his friend, Will, who returned after having stopped the Second Devons, which Tom was extremely happy to hear about, and that his brother was still alive.

You had only hoped the fighting would end soon so you could see Tom.

—

A year and a half goes by, and the war has finally ended. You and Jessie were sent home within days of the news, after tending to the last few soldiers that were at your post. The train ride home was the worst, all you could think about was opening the letter from Tom.

Finally, you step foot into your home, your mother, sister, and brother running to hug you instantly.

“We are so glad you’re back home and safe,” your mother sobs, running her fingers through your hair.

“I am too, mum. It’s so nice to be home and not worry about what I am going to come in contact with the next day.”

“No more talk of that, it’s all over. I’m having a bunch of people over to celebrate, so I’m going to run out for food. I’ll be back later!”

After catching up with your siblings for a little, you tell them to go out back and play while you settle back in. Once in your room, the first thing you unpack is Tom’s letter. Taking a seat on your bed, you rip it open, your heart racing at what could possibly be written inside.

Dear (Y/N),

I am guessing that the war has now ended since you are reading this. If not, fold it back up and wait! Anyways, if it has ended, please write me a letter, letting me know that you have read this. I will be waiting to hear from you!

Love, Tom.

A huge smile took over your features as you read his handwriting. As soon as you finish reading, you jump up and skip over to your desk, taking a piece of paper and grabbing your ink pen. You quickly write to Tom, stating that you are back home and that you have read his letter.

You address it with the information Tom gave you, and run it out to the post box right down the road from your house. Now, all you had to do was wait.

A few days go by and you had yet to receive anything else from Tom, but thankfully, that changed when you picked up the mail from the post office. You scan through the mass amount of letters from relatives, congratulating you on returning home, when a familiar handwriting catches your eye: a letter from Tom.

You couldn’t even wait to open it, so you ripped the envelope and unfolded the paper. Your eyes scanned over the words, a grin appearing on your face in the process. He asked you to come to his house to spend time with one another, and the day that he wanted to meet was today.

You run home as fast as you possibly can, jogging straight up to your room once you bolt through the door. Your mother called for you, wondering what all the noise was for.

Quickly changing into something more presentable and nice, you make your way back downstairs, the letter still in your hands.

“(Y/N), what on earth are you running around for?” Your mother scolds you.

“Sorry. I’m off to meet a friend I met while in France. He was one of the wounded that I helped.” A sly grin took over your mother’s features as she stopped washing the dishes for a moment.

“Possible romance?” She wonders. You roll your eyes at her words, though deep inside of you, you hoped that was the outcome of this.

“Oh shut it. I’m just meeting him to chat.”

“Sure, you say that now, but soon enough, you’ll be so infatuated with one another.”

“Okay, mum. I have to go, don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Stay out as late as you want, darling!” Chuckling, you walk out the front door and hop into the family car, taking one last look at the address to try and figure out where it was. Realizing it was just a town over, you start the car up and head over to his place.

The ride there was agonizing. You were so anxious and excited to see Tom that you hadn’t even noticed that you had arrived. Taking a deep breath, you step out of the car and go to walk up to the small farmhouse, but a figure sitting on the steps catches your eye.

“Well hello,” Tom greets you as you walk up to him, meeting you halfway.

“Hi,” you shyly respond. Tom sticks his arms out for you and within a second, you fall into them, a huge smile on your face and laughter falling from your lips. Tom spins you around the open yard, holding tightly onto your waist.

After a couple more minutes of hugging, Tom lets go of you, but grabs onto your hands immediately.

“You’re all I’ve thought about since I left,” he admits, staring deeply into your eyes.

“Really? A year and a half, and you found no one else?” Tom hums in response, shaking his head at your question.

“Only you. You saved my life and comforted me when no one else would. I knew if I had asked those nurses in recovery, they wouldn’t have done anything.”

“Yeah, the main problem is that soldiers in recovery are usually touchy and rude, thinking that because they survived something, that they’re injured or crippled, they deserve you, to touch and harass.” Tom’s eyes widen at your words, thoughts and images running through his mind.

“I would know, I worked a recovery post for a short time till I got sent over to the last aid post.”

“That’s awful, love. Why did you put up with it in the first place?” You shrugged, knowing there was nothing that could be done.

“I had to. C’est la vie.” Tom chuckles and steps a bit closer to you.

“Why did you continue to see me in recovery every day? Why not just stay at your post and get on with your day?” Your hand reaches up to cup his cheek, the innocence still hiding in his eyes.

“You were different. Sure, you weren’t the youngest soldier I dealt with, but I could tell you were terrified. You had this innocence and purity in your eyes, and I can still see it. War was not something you should have seen or been put through, and I guess I wanted to make you feel better with some comfort that I figured you needed.”

“Thank you so much,” he whispers. “For everything.”

“You know, I thought about you every day, too. I stared at the letter, wanting to so badly open it and read it already; I had no idea when I would even be able to, if I were to. When Jessie and I finally heard the news, all I could think about was you and that damn letter.” Both of you laugh for a moment before the air settles between you, silence taking over.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks in a hushed voice. Nodding a little, he leans in and places his lips on yours, gently at first, but once you reciprocate, it’s much more passionate. The kiss continues for a few seconds, both of you enjoying the taste of one another.

Finally, you pull away to catch your breath, and Tom rests his forehead on yours, his hands slowly encircling your waist.

“Will you be mine? I don’t want to be with anyone else. I want to be with the woman who saved my life?” He wonders, blue eyes shining with hope.

“Of course I will, Tom.”

•••

taglist: @gecrgemackays @anneinneverneverland @1920s-obsessed

#tom blake #thomas blake #dean charles chapman #tom blake imagines #tom blake x reader #1917 #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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bigprettygothgf · 5 years

Text

kayla bigprettygothgf’s halloween recommendation list

I know it’s a little late into October to publish this, and I had wanted to get this out at the start of the month, other things just got in the way of my time. But, I finished it anyway.

I’ve divided this into two parts - First, movies that are available on the big three streaming services - Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu. Second, movies that are not available on those services and you’ll have to get via… other means. All in all there’s over 70 films here.

Summaries are either written by me or lifted from letterboxd. Because I’m lazy.

It probably goes without saying that almost all of these come with a CW for violence. Violence will only be mentioned specifically in CWs in more extreme cases.

If I’ve missed any applicable content warnings here, please message me about it! it’s been a while since I’ve seen many of these movies and it’s likely there’s some details I’ve forgotten.

Full list under the cut.

Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

-Annihilation (2018)

A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply.

-Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Death of a lesbian character

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Apostle (2018)

Netflix original horror tends to be very hit or miss, more often than not a catastrophic miss. While not without its flaws, Apostle is fortunately one of the better releases to the service, offering a very The Wicker Man (1973)-esque story about a man who travels to a remote island in search of his sister who has been kidnapped by a cult.

-Genres: Cult horror, historical period horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-As Above, So Below (2014)

While the dialogue in the film borders on unintentional comedy at times, As Above, So Below is a surprisingly decent found footage flick about a team of explorers delving into the Paris catacombs.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2017)

Father and son coroners receive a mysterious unidentified corpse with no apparent cause of death. As they attempt to examine the young “Jane Doe,” they discover increasingly bizarre clues that hold the key to her terrifying secrets.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Blade (1998)

When Blade’s mother was bitten by a vampire during pregnancy, she did not know that she gave her son a special gift while dying—all the good vampire attributes in combination with the best human skills. Blade and his mentor battle an evil vampire rebel who plans to take over the outdated vampire council, capture Blade and resurrect a voracious blood god.

-Genres: Superhero, vampire horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-Candyman (1992)

The Candyman, a murderous soul with a hook for a hand, is accidentally summoned to reality by a skeptic grad student researching the monster’s myth.

-Genres: Psychological horror, slasher, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death, R-slur

-Available on: Netflix

-Cloverfield (2008)

Five young New Yorkers throw their friend a going-away party the night that a monster the size of a skyscraper descends upon the city. Told from the point of view of their video camera, the film is a document of their attempt to survive the most surreal, horrifying event of their lives.

-Genres: Disaster, found footage, monster, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: One of the lead characters, Hud, is played by accused sexual abuser T.J. Miller

-Available on: Hulu

-Constantine (2005)

By all accounts, Constantine is a bad adaption of its source material, taking far too many creative liberties and making many unnecessary changes from the Hellblazer comic. However, despite that, the film is a fun and decent movie in its own right, and worth a watch regardless of whether or not you’re familiar with the comic it’s based on.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Suicide

-Available on: Hulu

-Creep (2014)

Aaron answers an online ad and drives to a stranger's house to film him for the day. The man claims to want to make a movie for his unborn child, but his requests become more bizarre as the day goes along.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Creep 2 (2017)

A video artist who craves shocking stories realizes she has made a mistake when she meets a serial killer in a cabin.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-The Crow (1994)

Exactly one year after young rock guitarist Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally killed by a ruthless gang of criminals, Draven – watched over by a hypnotic crow – returns from the grave to exact revenge.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Available on: Netflix

-Event Horizon (1997)

A film that could have been great had it not been marred by interference from Paramount, Event Horizon is still a decent entry into the sci-fi horror genre, even if just for the great scenery-chewing by Sam Neill. It’s just a shame that we’ll probably never see a fully uncensored version.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Evil Dead (1981)

Bruce Campbell & friends take a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Hilarity ensues.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: The infamous tree rape scene

-Available on: Hulu

-Evil Dead II (1987)

Bruce Campbell & friend takes a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Even more hilarity ensues.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-The Exorcist III (1990)

Despite the title, The Exorcist III has very little to do with the original Exorcist film, only given connections to it due to studio imposition. Fortunately, this is a rare case where studio interference didn’t actually negatively affect the film itself much at all, and I strongly recommend it, even if you haven’t seen the original.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Ableism

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Gerald’s Game (2017)

When her husband’s sex game goes wrong, Jessie (who is handcuffed to a bed in a remote lake house) faces warped visions, dark secrets and a dire choice.

-Genres: Psychological horror

-Content warnings: CSA, graphic degloving

-Available on: Netflix

-Ginger Snaps (2000)

The story of two outcast sisters, Ginger and Brigitte, in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger’s first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger’s wounds miraculously heal but something is not quite right. Now Brigitte must save her sister and save herself.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Green Room (2015)

A punk rock band becomes trapped in a secluded venue after finding a scene of violence. For what they saw, the band themselves become targets of violence from a gang of white power skinheads, who want to eliminate all evidence of the crime.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: Nazism, racism, N-slurs

-Available on: Netflix

-Hellraiser (1987)

An unfaithful wife encounters the zombie of her dead lover while the demonic cenobites are pursuing him after he escaped their sadomasochistic underworld.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Hereditary (2018)

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry.

-Genres: Drama, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death, child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Invitation (2015)

Will and his new girlfriend Kira are invited to a dinner with old friends at the house of Will’s ex Eden and her new partner David. Although the evening appears to be relaxed, Will soon gets a creeping suspicion that their charming host David is up to something.

-Genres: Cult horror, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Lake Mungo (2010)

One of my personal favorite films in the horror genre, the underappreciated Lake Mungo - creatively presented in a faux-documentary style - is an eerie look at the difficulty of moving on from family loss.

-Genres: Found footage, pseudo-documentary, psychological horror

-Content warnings: CSA

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Mother! (2017)

I hesitated adding this one because to be frank I do not care much for it and Darren Aronofsky, while a talented filmmaker, is a bit of a self-aggrandizing prick and this film demonstrates his pretentiousness more so than any of his past work. But, even so, there’s some legitimately great material here, particularly in the third act when everything goes to shit. If you can look past the extremely heavy-handed bible metaphors and clumsy environmental message, you may get something out of it.

-Genres: Psychological horror, thriller

-Content warnings: Misogynistic violence, graphic baby death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Nightbreed (1990)

A troubled young man is drawn to a mythical place called Midian where a variety of monsters are hiding from humanity.

-Genres: Dark fantasy

-Content warnings: Eye trauma, F-slur

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Night of the Living Dead (1968)

A group of people try to survive an attack of bloodthirsty zombies while trapped in a rural Pennsylvania farmhouse.

-Genres: Zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video (Public domain, so you should have no trouble finding it elsewhere.)

-Possum (2018)

Long stretches of not much happening are made up for by some truly horrifying puppet sequences which are among the creepiest things I saw in any 2018 film.

-Genres: Drama, psychological horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Pumpkinhead (1988)

A man conjures up a gigantic vengeance demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy the teenagers who accidentally killed his son.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu*

*Audio is slightly out of sync on both streams.

-A Quiet Place (2018)

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

-Genres: Alien invasion, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Return of the Living Dead (1986)

When a bumbling pair of employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate as they go on a rampage seeking their favorite food: brains!

-Genres: Horror comedy, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Ritual (2017)

A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them.

-Genres: Cult horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Saw (2004)

Obsessed with teaching his victims the value of life, a deranged, sadistic serial killer abducts the morally wayward. Once captured, they must face impossible choices in a horrific game of survival. The victims must fight to win their lives back, or die trying.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-Saw II (2005)

When a new murder victim is discovered with all the signs of Jigsaw’s hand, Detective Eric Matthews begins a full investigation and apprehends Jigsaw with little effort. But for Jigsaw, getting caught is just another part of his plan. Eight more of his victims are already fighting for their lives and now it’s time for Matthews to join the game.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: Needles

-Available on: Hulu

-Scream (1996)

A killer known as Ghostface begins killing off teenagers, and as the body count begins to rise, one girl and her friends find themselves contemplating the ‘rules’ of horror films as they find themselves living in a real-life one.

-Genres: Slasher

-Content warnings: Rape mention

-Available on: Netflix

-Society (1989)

Containing what I consider to be the greatest special effects Screaming Mad George ever did, Society is a story about the son of a rich Beverly Hills family feeling like he doesn’t quite fit in. If you like body horror, 80s practical effects, and satire about the west coast upper class, I can not recommend this hidden gem enough. Another of my personal favorites.

-Genres: Black comedy, body horror, satire

-Content warnings: Incest and really gross body horror. In general if you’re averse to sex and nudity you may wanna steer clear.

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Suspiria (2018)

I can’t think of many films I hold such a high opinion on that I was initially ready to hate. When I found out that the Call Me by Your Name director would be behind a remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 classic Suspiria, I rolled my eyes. When official photos started to roll in indicating the film would be gory and desaturated in contrast to the original’s surreal usage of exaggerated colors, I decided I wasn’t touching it with a ten foot pole. Fast forward about a year later, and I eventually decide to give the film a chance. Low and behold, not only do I list it as a top film of 2018, I actually, genuinely like it more than the original. While there’s much to be said about the style and color palette of the original film, I find the remake’s radically different tone and style to be still, in a difficult to describe way, faithful to the 1977 original. But most importantly, the film stands on its own as a visceral, nightmarish, violent, and disturbing experience I still haven't stopped thinking about nearly a year later.

-Genres: Body horror, cult horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Suicide, very graphic gore

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Terminator (1984)

In the post-apocalyptic future, reigning tyrannical supercomputers teleport a cyborg assassin known as the “Terminator” back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor, whose unborn son is destined to lead insurgents against 21st century mechanical hegemony. Meanwhile, the human-resistance movement dispatches a lone warrior to safeguard Sarah.

-Genres: Science fiction, thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, YouTube

-They Look Like People (2016)

While held back slightly by its low budget, They Look Like People is one of the best looks at mental illness I’ve seen in a film, especially a horror film, and I’d easily recommend it to anyone tired of the demonization of mental illness in the horror genre.

-Genres: Psychological horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Train to Busan (2016)

Martial law is declared when a mysterious viral outbreak pushes Korea into a state of emergency. Those on an express train to Busan, a city that has successfully fended off the viral outbreak, must fight for their own survival.

-Genres: Thriller, zombie horror

-Content Warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

Two hillbillies are suspected of being killers by a group of paranoid college kids camping near the duo’s West Virginian cabin. As the body count climbs, so does the fear and confusion as the college kids try to seek revenge against the pair.

-Genres: Horror comedy, slasher

-Content Warnings: Rape mention

-Available on: Netflix

-The Witch (2015)

In 1630s New England, William and Katherine lead a devout Christian life with five children, homesteading on the edge of an impassable wilderness, exiled from their settlement when William defies the local church. When their newborn son vanishes and crops mysteriously fail, the family turns on one another.

-Genres: Religious horror, supernatural horror

-Content Warnings: Abuse, animal death, child death, implied CSA

-Available on: Netflix

Not Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

-Alien (1979)

During its return to the earth, commercial spaceship Nostromo intercepts a distress signal from a distant planet. When a three-member team of the crew discovers a chamber containing thousands of eggs on the planet, a creature inside one of the eggs attacks an explorer. The entire crew is unaware of the impending nightmare set to descend upon them when the alien parasite planted inside its unfortunate host is birthed.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Aliens (1986)

When Ripley’s lifepod is found by a salvage crew over 50 years later, she finds that terra-formers are on the very planet they found the alien species. When the company sends a family of colonists out to investigate her story—all contact is lost with the planet and colonists. They enlist Ripley and the colonial marines to return and search for answers.

-Genres: Sci-fi action, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Altered States (1980)

A research scientist explores the boundaries and frontiers of consciousness. Using sensory deprivation and hallucinogenic mixtures from native American shamans, he explores these altered states of consciousness and finds that memory, time, and perhaps reality itself are states of mind.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-AM1200 (2008)

A fantastic little horror short film. Officially on Vimeo.

-Genres: Eldritch horror

-Content warnings: Suicide

-Army of Darkness (1992)

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that Army of Darkness isn’t as good as Evil Dead II. They’re full of shit and this movie fucking rules.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

-Content warnings: N/A

-Basket Case (1982)

A young man carrying a big basket that contains his deformed Siamese-twin brother seeks vengeance on the doctors who separated them against their will.

-Genres: Body horror, horror comedy, slasher

-Content warnings: Attempted rape

-Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

Deep within the mysterious Arboria Institute, a disturbed girl is held captive by a doctor in search of inner peace. Her mind controlled by a sinister technology. Silently, she waits for her next session with deranged therapist Dr. Barry Nyle. If she hopes to escape, she must journey through the darkest reaches of The Institute, but Nyle wonʼt easily part with his most gifted and dangerous creation.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Blair Witch Project (1999)

In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary. A year later their footage was found.

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Five college friends spend the weekend at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

-Genres: Black comedy, eldritch horror, horror comedy, satire

-Content warnings: N/A

-Christine (1983)

Geeky student Arnie Cunningham falls for Christine, a rusty 1958 Plymouth Fury, and becomes obsessed with restoring the classic automobile to her former glory. As the car changes, so does Arnie, whose newfound confidence turns to arrogance behind the wheel of his exotic beauty. Arnie’s girlfriend Leigh and best friend Dennis reach out to him, only to be met by a Fury like no other.

-Genres: Horror thriller, supernaturally horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Donnie Darko (2001)

After narrowly escaping a bizarre accident, a troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes.

-Genres: Drama, psychological thriller

-Content warnings: References to CSA

-The Fly (1986)

When Seth Brundle makes a huge scientific and technological breakthrough in teleportation, he decides to test it on himself. Unbeknownst to him, a common housefly manages to get inside the device and the two become one.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-From Beyond (1986)

A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Get Out (2017)

Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

-Genres: Horror thriller, psychological horror, satire

-Content warnings: N/A

-Grave Encounters (2011)

I’ll admit that this found footage pseudo-reality show film isn’t all that good, but if you’re like me and you’re a slut for all those dumb Ghost Hunters-type TV shows, this should be right up your alley.

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Ableism

-Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

I’m just going to quote my best friend Lars @dracenines:

there is so much shit in this movie that makes no goddamn sense at all but it's so damn fun that i can't help but love it anyways

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The House of the Devil (2009)

In the 1980s, college student Samantha Hughes takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret.

-Genres: Cult horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

With the disappearance of hack horror writer Sutter Cane, all Hell is breaking loose…literally! Author Cane, it seems, has a knack for description that really brings his evil creepy-crawlies to life. Insurance investigator John Trent is sent to investigate Cane’s mysterious vanishing act and ends up in the sleepy little East Coast town of Hobb’s End.

-Genres: Supernatural horror, eldritch horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-It Follows (2014)

For 19-year-old Jay, fall should be about school, boys and weekends out at the lake. But a seemingly innocent physical encounter turns sour and gives her the inescapable sense that someone, or something, is following her. Faced with this burden, Jay and her teenage friends must find a way to escape the horror that seems to be only a few steps behind.

-Genres: Psychological horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Jacob’s Ladder (1990)

A traumatized Vietnam war veteran finds out that his post-war life isn’t what he believes it to be when he’s attacked by horned creatures in the subway.

-Genres: Drama, psychological horror, religious horror, thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Jennifer’s Body (2009)

A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates.

-Genres: Black comedy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Keep (1983)

A great seemingly forgotten horror film that was unfortunately never able to be fully finished due to the death of the special effects supervisor early in post-production, and much more to the film’s determent, heavy studio interference, resulting in shoddy sound design and over 100 minutes cut from the movie. Despite this, I still enjoy this film quite a bit, particularly for its fantastic atmosphere and excellent soundtrack by Tangerine Dream.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Nazis

-The Lost Boys (1987)

A mother and her two teenage sons move to a seemingly nice and quiet small coastal California town yet soon find out that it’s overrun by bike gangs and vampires. A couple of teenage friends take it upon themselves to hunt down the vampires that they suspect of a few mysterious murders and restore peace and calm to their town.

-Genres: Horror comedy, supernatural horror, vampire horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Marebito (2004)

A fear-obsessed freelance cameraman investigates an urban legend involving mysterious spirits that haunt the subways of Tokyo.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Eye trauma

-The Others (2001)

Grace is a religious woman who lives in an old house kept dark because her two children, Anne and Nicholas, have a rare sensitivity to light. When the family begins to suspect the house is haunted, Grace fights to protect her children at any cost in the face of strange events and disturbing visions.

-Genres: Drama, gothic horror, psychological horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Prince of Darkness (1987)

A research team finds a mysterious cylinder in a deserted church. If opened, it could mean the end of the world.

-Genres: Supernatural horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Resident Evil (2002)

Look, this movie is not great, it doesn’t follow the games, I know. But it’s a guilty pleasure and Milla Jovovitch awakens homosexual feelings in me. Just don’t bother with the sequels. Or do bother with them. Honestly, you could do a lot worse with your time.

-Genres: Action horror, sci-fi horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Sinister (2012)

Found footage helps a true-crime novelist realize how and why a family was murdered in his new home, though his discoveries put his entire family in the path of a supernatural entity.

-Genres: Mystery, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Spring (2014)

Sci-fi horror romance film about a shapeshifting monster girl. That’s all I need to tell you.

-Genres: Romance, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Suspiria (1977)

From the moment she arrives in Freiberg, Germany, to attend the prestigious Tanz Academy, American ballet-dancer Suzy Bannion senses that something horribly evil lurks within the walls of the age-old institution.

-Genres: Gothic horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

One of my favorite found footage films and and a great example of how much potential the genre holds when handled by a director who seems to actually give a shit. To top that off, it features a lesbian lead character who doesn’t die. It’s really that easy!

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Five friends visiting their grandfather’s house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

-Genres: Slasher

-Content warnings: Ableism

-The Thing (1982)

Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people it kills.

-Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Animal death

-Trick ’r Treat (2007)

Four interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: an everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the one guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; a bitter old recluse receives an uninvited guest.

-Genres: Anthology, black comedy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Us (2019)

Husband and wife Gabe and Adelaide Wilson take their kids to their beach house expecting to unplug and unwind with friends. But as night descends, their serenity turns to tension and chaos when some shocking visitors arrive uninvited.

-Genres: Cult horror, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-V/H/S (2012)

When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

-Genres: Anthology, found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-V/H/S/2 (2013)

While there’s less good to be found in the sequel than in the previous installment, the segment featured in V/H/S/2 titled Safe Haven is easily the best in the entire series and has quickly become one of my favorite horror short films of all time. It alone makes V/H/S/2 a worthwhile watch.

-Genres: Alien invasion, anthology, cult horror, found footage, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: References to CSA, eye trauma

-Videodrome (1983)

As the president of a trashy TV channel, Max Renn is desperate for new programming to attract viewers. When he happens upon “Videodrome,” a TV show dedicated to gratuitous torture and punishment, Max sees a potential hit and broadcasts the show on his channel. However, after his girlfriend auditions for the show and never returns, Max investigates the truth behind Videodrome and discovers that the graphic violence may not be as fake as he thought.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Void (2016)

Cloaked, cult-like figures trap a police officer, patients and staffers inside a hospital that is a gateway to evil.

-Genres: Cult horror, eldritch horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Vampire housemates try to cope with the complexities of modern life and show a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being undead.

-Genres: Horror comedy, pseudo-documentary

-Content warnings: One F-slur

#horror #halloween

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echoes-of-the-clockwork · 5 years

Text

Deacon St. John || Phantom in the Night [2/5]

A/n: I'm only focusing on the "Ripped Apart" storyline and not the other missions in between, but there will be no Lisa because I didn't work her into the storyline for a certain reason.

⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️

Also, the events are altered slightly and Deacon won't recognize Carlos as Jessie due to how and where I want this story to go. Hope you all enjoy this next part! Love you all!!! ••••••••••••••••••••

***HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD! PLEASE NOTIFY ME OF ANY ERRORS!!!***

***** Prompt: After going out on a mission with Skizzo to secure dynamite from the Lucky Lad Mine, Deacon returns to Lost Lake and discovers you have yet to return. While Skizzo and Iron Mike deal with where to locate detonator cords, he goes out and searches for you. *****

~3rd Person POV~

Once Skizzo and Deacon stashed the dynamite in the lodge, the drifter walked around the camp in search of (Y/n). He asked whoever he came across, but they all had the same answer.

No.

He rushed to the infirmary and watched as Addy changes the bandages on Boozer's stump. He walked over, asking the two the same question he'd been asking for the past five minutes. "Hey. Have either of you seen (Y/n)?"

"I'm afraid not, Deacon," Addy replied, keeping her eyes trained on Boozer's arm.

"She's not back from her supply run?" Boozer knew (Y/n) was the one under the mask and helped Deacon spread the lie about her being on a supply run and not taking on a horde under the alias "Phantom."

"No. She hadn't radioed in, either."

"Try contacting her," the doctor suggests.

Deacon presses the button on the side of his radio and tries to reach (Y/n). "Deacon to (Y/n). Where the hell are you?"

Silence.

"Deacon to (Y/n). Come in, (Y/n)."

Static cracked from the speaker as he paced around the infirmary. With no response from the woman, Deacon growled under his breath. "Dammit..."

"Now that I think about it, our special guest hasn't returned, either," Addy commented. "You might want to look for both of them, Deacon."

"Phantom will be fine, (Y/n)—I'm not so sure of. She wanders off and does whatever the hell she wants," the drifter replied, trying to keep Addy from becoming suspicious. "I'm going to head out and search for her. Radio me if she does return while I'm gone."

"Will do, brother," Boozer replies.

Deacon left the Lost Lake Camp and headed to the old sawmill. On his arrival, corpses littered the ground and seemed to create a trail of sorts. He followed the bodies of Swarmers, walking through the sawmill.

In a large room with conveyor belts, the drifter found (Y/n)'s radio. "Shit." He looked around the room, wondering where her trail went. He found her footprints leading out a metal shutter, which was half open.

Crouching under the shutter, Deacon found himself back outside. The foul odor of rotting corpses assaulted his nostrils as he followed her bloodied footprints to a derailed train. He crawled through an open door in one of the cars and discovered her trail led into a small building behind the tracks. "C'mon. Where are you, (Y/n)?"

Deacon opened the door, the rusty hinges squeaking. Inside, he found (Y/n)'s backpack. "Where are you going?" He muttered to himself as he made his way out a shattered window and further down the platform.

(Y/n)'s trail went cold when he reached the outskirts of the sawmill. "Goddammit," he snarled.

"Ever thought of looking up?" A voice asked. "You never know what you might miss if you keep your eyes glued to the ground."

Deacon's head snapped up and saw the woman he was looking for sitting on a branch in a tree. He threw out his arms in confusion. "What the hell are you doing in a tree?"

"Pack of wolves. I ran out of ammo and climbed a tree so they wouldn't maul me. They only left about a few minutes ago due to some Freaks chasing after them." (Y/n) adjusted the mask hanging around her neck to keep the edge from digging into her skin. "And I accidentally dropped my radio while taking out the horde."

"Yeah, I grabbed it for you." Deacon pulled out the radio to show her. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked away for a split second before staring back up at her. "Just glad you're okay."

"Aw, were you worried about me?" (Y/n) snickered.

"You've no idea..." He muttered to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Deacon swiftly responds. "So, you plan on coming down anytime soon?"

"I don't know. The view from up here is pretty amazing. I might be here for a little while longer."

"(Y/n)," he scoldingly calls out.

The woman exhaled through her nose and climbed down. "Fine. Let me change." She wandered to the building where she left her backpack and changed into her normal attire. Deacon patiently waited outside for her, ensuring no threat would sneak up on her while she was changing.

(Y/n) emerged from the building in her normal attire. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and closed the door behind her. Deacon walked a few feet in front of her since he knew where the bike was parked. They stepped over various Swarmer corpses during the trek back to the motorcycle. "I can't believe it. You actually took out every last one."

"Taking down hordes is easy once you learn the best strategy," (Y/n) casually responds.

"You're fucking insane. I hope you know that."

"Trust me, I know," she smirked.

<————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Back at the encampment, Deacon and (Y/n) headed to the infirmary to see Boozer. Once they checked on him, the duo were approached by Rikki. "Looks who's back," she said, directed towards the woman at the drifter's side. "What happened out there?"

"Pack of wolves. I forgot to check my ammo before I left, but a few Freaks finally chased them off," (Y/n) replied, lying to a certain extent.

"Glad to see you're safe. You wouldn't have happened to stop by the sawmill on your way back, did you?" Rikki questioned the drifter.

"Uh, yeah. We swung by and the horde was completely wiped out," Deacon responded. "Guess this "Phantom" isn't such a bad character, right?"

"Damn. She took out the entire horde by herself? I'm impressed. She's good in my book," the mechanic said. "I'll make sure to tell Iron Mike the good news."

(Y/n) spun on her heels and began heading to the cabin Rikki provided her. Deacon watched her intently as her figure grew smaller in the distance. He didn't notice Boozer until he spoke up. "You like her."

"No, Boozeman, I don't," Deacon retorts.

"Yes, you do. I lost my arm, not my eyes. You're afraid what happened to Sarah will happen to (Y/n), aren't you?" Deacon remained silent, which was all Boozer needed as an answer. He placed his hand on his shoulder and patted it. "Even though the world is fucked up, who said you couldn't find happiness again?" With another pat on the shoulder, Boozer headed back into the infirmary.

Deacon sighed once his brother was gone. He was going to pursue (Y/n), but one person intercepted him. "Hey, you got a moment?" Skizzo questioned.

"What the hell do you want, Skizzo?" Deacon scowled at him.

"I know where we can find the detonator cords for the dynamite."

"Great. Tell Iron Mike. I'm a little busy at the moment."

"I know you know who this "Phantom" chick really is under the mask. I need her help in getting this shit."

Deacon shook his head. "Not happening, Skizzo."

"What's the deal, huh? She's just some bitch in a mask. Why do you care if something happens to her?"

Deacon grabbed the front of Skizzo's jersey and glared sharply at him as he yanked him closer. "How 'bout this—I don't kick your ass right here, right now and you fuck off. How does that sound?"

Skizzo was silent as he swallowed nervously before responding. "How about this instead—you come with me instead of her."

Deacon gritted his teeth as he shoved the man away from him. "Whatever gets you to shut the hell up."

Skizzo tugged at the collar of his jersey as he cleared his throat. "It's a deal, then. We're leaving now."

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a minute." Deacon waves Skizzo off and heads to (Y/n)'s cabin. In the small building, he found her slumped over one of the counters in the kitchen. Taking a few steps closer, he saw she was staring at her mask. The floorboards squeaked under his boots, signaling his presence.

(Y/n) spun around and greeted the drifter. "Hey, Deek. Did you need something?"

"Uh, well, not really, but..."

"Oh, god. What's wrong?"

Deacon shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, I promise. Just wanted to tell you I'll be back soon."

The woman's brows furrowed in bewilderment. "Where're you going?"

"Skizzo's found—"

"Oh, hell no! There's no way you can trust that frat boy!" (Y/n) yelled.

"Wait, you think he looks like a frat boy, too?" Deacon questioned. He saw her frown and cross her arms. "Okay, that's not the point."

She ran a hand through her (h/c) hair in vexation. "You seriously can't be going on another run with Skizzo. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him... and I seriously doubt I could even lift his dumbass an inch off the ground!"

Deacon moves to stand in front of the worried woman, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring into her (e/c) eyes. "I'll be fine. Just don't go parading around as Phantom while I'm gone."

"Oh, no, no, no!" She shook her head furiously. "You're out of your goddamn mind if you think—!"

One of Deacon's hand traveled to the back of her neck, sending a chill down her spine and causing her to fall silent. She was baffled at the gentle look in his eyes as he pulled her closer. When their lips met, her entire body became petrified. The shock wore off in a few seconds and she kissed back. She placed her hands on his face, caressing her fingers across the stubble along his jaw.

The escaping of knuckles against the cabin door startled (Y/n) and she jumped away from Deacon. "Hey, Deek! Get your ass movin'!" Skizzo's voice was slightly muffled due to the door. "We don't got all day!"

The woman exhaled, placing a hand on her forehead. "I can't believe you're going with him..."

"Now you know I feel every time you walk out and go gallivanting around in that damn mask," he chuckled.

"Guess the roles have been reversed," she smiled in amusement. "Well then, I'm gonna tell you what you always tell me—be careful and come back safely. Honestly, I'd be happier if you didn't return with Skizzo."

"Yeah, well, we need to stay on Iron Mike's good side so no plots to kill of abandon Skizzo... yet."

"Damn... I already have an entire list," she muttered with a snicker.

Deacon grinned from ear to ear. "Keep it with you. I might need to borrow it soon."

"Hurry the hell up!" Skizzo yelled, banging on her door once again.

"Jesus, Skizzo... Shut the hell up!" Deacon shouted back.

(Y/n) placed a hand on his chest and pushed him lightly. "You better go before the frat boy starts waving a butter knife around."

"Yeah," Deacon exhales. "I already want this shit to be over."

"Just try to not kill him without me, 'kay?"

Skizzo banged his fist against the door and shouted for the drifter once more, earning a displeased frown from him. "No promises."

<———————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

With the detonator cords in their possession, Deacon and Skizzo leave the transportation building in Iron Butte, which currently was the land the Rippers called their own and aren't very fond of trespassers. "Let's the hell out of Ripper territory and back to Lost Lake," Deacon said as they headed in the direction they left their bikes.

Skizzo suddenly comes to a halt. "What I said in there—about trusting you—is all true."

Deacon turned around, brows furrowed as to why they were discussing this matter right now. "We don't have time for this shit, Skizzo." The younger man grabs the gun out of Deacon's grasp and aims it at him. The drifter glared fiercely at Skizzo. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry, brother, but this is the only way. Carlos wants Phantom, not you. But now that I know who she really is, you'd just get in the way."

Deacon tried to play innocent. "You're making no fucking sense as usual."

"I saw the mask in her cabin while you were making out. I know what I saw and you can't try to fool me, Deek. You can try to convince me (Y/n), but you're not gonna win this time. Once Carlos gets what he wants, he'll leave all of Lost Lake alone."

Deacon's eyes narrowed, the fire burning in them festering. "You touch her, I'll kill you."

"I'll swing by Lost Lake, grab her, and come back here. The camp will be saved. That's all I care about."

"You seriously think Iron Mike won't figure this out?"

"That old geezer doesn't know how to run a camp!"

"And you do?" Deacon scoffed.

"Better than Iron Mike. Like I said, you'd only get in the way at this point." Skizzo lifted the gun and used it to knock the drifter unconscious.

<—————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

By the time Deacon regained consciousness, he had already been apprehended by the Rippers. He was missing all his gear, including his hat, jacket, shirt, and cut. His hands were tied to wooden stakes in a dimly lit room. He struggled against the rope, trying to free himself.

The door to the small room swung open and Carlos stepped into the room with a torch in his grasp. A wicked grin spread across his face as he slowly approached the drifter. "Not who I was hoping for, but you'll do for the time being." Carlos circled around Deacon like a vulture eyeing its prey. His eyes trailed over the tattoos scattered across the drifter's body. "A few of my people spotted you working alongside Phantom a few weeks ago. That must mean you know who truly is under the mask."

"Not necessarily," Deacon sneered.

"Oh, I bet you do. That menace has killed over a hundred of my people. She must be exterminated like the roach she is."

"Last I checked, she's keeping your asses in check—stopping "your people" from murdering and torturing others."

"She will pay for what she has done to the innocent."

"Oh, fuck off, Carlos. There's no way in hell you nutcases are innocent," Deacon spat.

The leader of the Rippers raised the torch and aimed the nozzle at the tattoo on the drifter's right arm. "You will share—!"

"Phantom!" A cacophony of Rippers shouted. Gunfire rang out all across the area and the sound of painful cries accompanied the bombardment.

Carlos tossed the torch aside with a fierce glare as he stormed out of the room in search of the masked woman. Deacon tugged at his restraints again, hoping to loosen one of his wrists.

"Find her!" He heard Carlos roar at the top of his lungs. From the room, he also heard the Rippers scurry around in search of (Y/n).

Deacon slumped in defeat after trying for five minutes straight and the rope didn't budge an inch. He grumbled curses under his breath as he stared at the floor.

Suddenly, the doorknob twisted and the door was pushed open slowly with a high-pitched creak. Deacon lifted his head when hearing the obnoxious noise and watched as a familiar masked figure entered the room. (Y/n) lowers her sniper and removes her mask when she spots Deacon. "It's about damn time."

The emotions that crossed over Deacon's face were bafflement and irritability. The anger was for being careless and the shock was due to her mere presence. "How did you—?"

"I may have followed you and Skizzo when you left." (Y/n) grabbed her knife and used it to cut Deacon free. He stumbled forward slightly when his arms were free but regained his balance before he fell. "If you have anymore questions, Wait 'til we get the hell outta this place."

"Any idea where they took my gear?" He asked.

(Y/n) shook her head with a frown. "Not sure, but I did see one of the Rippers wearing your cut. I'll go get it while you find the rest of your gear." She grabbed the pistol strapped to her thigh and handed it to him. "Take this. You're gonna need it."

"What—you haven't taken out all the Rippers yet?" He smirked, taking the firearm from her.

"Only a few," she responds.

"Your definition of "a few" is different from mine."

"All you need to know is there's still plenty of this nutjobs around and they won't hesitate to shoot your ass. Just find your gear and I'll meet you at my bike. It's behind the remains of a burnt house. You can't miss it." She placed the man's back onto her face and pulled the black hood up, tucking her (h/c) hair inside.

"Alright. I'll meet you there."

<————————————<<<<<<<<<<<<

Deacon found his gear guarded by a single Ripper. He snuck up on the man and snapped his neck before reclaiming his clothes and weapons. He grabbed his hat and secured it in its normal backwards position. He gripped (Y/n)'s handgun tightly as he snuck out the back of the house and to the charred house down the street, taking out a few Rippers along the way.

The drifter found (Y/n) already on her bike, the engine roaring as she glanced at him. "Hop on. I know where you left your bike." Deacon didn't hesitate and mounted the bike behind the woman. She smirked as she gripped the handlebars. "Your turn to hold on!" They dodged gunfire as they disappeared into the night.

Arriving at Deacon's bike, said man dismounted (Y/n)'s motorcycle and hopped onto his own. He started the engine, relieved to know the bike wasn't tampered with during his absence. "Let's get the hell out of this place."

"Right behind you," (Y/n) sighed.

The two took off, heading back to Lost Lake. It was a lengthy ride full of danger thanks to Carlos and his Rippers. It seemed as if word had spread about Phantom's arrival and every single cultists was in high alert.

When they safely entered Lost Lake, they rode to the encampment only to find it being attacked by Rippers. "Shit... Seems Carlos best us here," the woman muttered. Deacon pulls his bike to a stop before crossing the rickety bridge into the camp. Confused, (Y/n) pulls her bike next to his and stops. "What's wrong?"

"Stay here and don't even think about entering the camp until I come back, alright?" Deacon's tone was low and unwavering.

"I can help, Deek. It's my fault Carlos is attacking the camp," she protests.

"No," the drifter shook his head, staring into her (e/c) eyes. "It's fucking Skizzo's fault. He was planning on handing you over to Carlos to save the camp. Just do as I say and stay here."

"Wha—Deacon!" (Y/n) shouts as he rides off, leaving her alone. She tore off her mask, watching as the drifter crossed the bridge and entered the encampment. From where she sat on her bike, she could hear the Rippers and the people of Lost Lake screaming. She stared in horror as a few cabins were set ablaze. "What have I done?"

#days gone #days gone x reader #deacon st john x reader #deacon x reader #Female reader

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ozarkkaya · 5 years

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My Pitch for a Rewrite of Pokemon: Indigo Leage (the Original Season of the Anime)

Okay so like this is going to be a bit rambley and shit but I was talking with some friends about ways the pokemon anime could be improved because god damn is it a shitty anime,, love the franchise but the anime suuuuucks. So this post is going to be really just me throwing spaghetti at the wall and talking about my personal pet peeves and how I would end the series.

There are two options that I’ve got but this post is going to be focused on the darker, more mature rewrite; as opposed to the season that I would actually pitch to Gamefreak if I was given the chance.

I’ve put the detailed version of it under the cut, because it’s a lot, but tl;dr is this: Ash/pikachu bonding arc runs a lot longer, Ash is a competent trainer, Jessie and James are competent yet keep their goofy charm, there are actual arcs in character and plot instead of just episodic information dumps.

So basically what it would focus on would be if the arc from the very first episode lasted longer. I always felt like it was dumb that pikachu went from trying to kill ash to being best buds with him just because Ash saved pikachu one time, so I figured that would be a good starting point. Ash and pikachu(from this point on to be referred to as P for simplicity’s sake) don’t become friends from the very start. Instead, they spend the entire season learning how to cooperate. They learn about each other and slowly become the best friends we know and love. It happens over the course of the entire season; going from pure hatred and uncooperativeness to Ash having a preference for going to P in battle, and then eventually they are inseperable buddies.

Speaking of battling, in this rewrite Ash is a competent trainer. None of this Pikachu vs Onix bullshit. He pays attention to types and actually knows how to utilize them properly. This Ash uses his entire team-- and he does in fact actually have a team in this. He has a proper team and spends the entire time working with them and learning who they are. He bonds with each and every member of the team over the course of multiple episodes, and every pokemon has their own character arc. I like the Charizard arc. I love pokemon character arcs. There are a lot more of them in this rewrite.

The caviat of this, however, is a loss of the secondary characters. Brock and Misty are still there, but they aren’t permanent additions to the team. Brock becomes more of a mentor figure, another person Ash can turn to for advice if Oak is being a dumbass again, but he’s busy with the gym and can’t join Ash on his adventure. Misty follows him around for a bit but soon goes off on her own-- they meet up again at different points, but it’s less of a constant friendship and more of a realistic friendship where she actually has shit she needs to do.

On the note of other characters, we have to talk about Jessie and James. In this rewrite they’re much more intimidating. Here, they’re actually competent trainers and competent members of Team Rocket. Their plans almost always come within inches of succeeding, and take more than one episode to work through. There are entire episodes dedicated to their stories and their arcs as well; not just the one episode we get for James’ backstory and the Pokemon Island episode-- multiple multiple episodes for each of them.

All of these stories and character arcs come to a close in the final arc of the rewrite. At the end of the next to last arc, Ash and his team lose. P is captured by Jessie and James, and Ash spends this entire arc trying to get his new best friend back. Tensions are running high as he goes to each of the people that he’s befriended over the course of the season, asking them each for their help. They all give what they can, even Misty, and eventually he manages to track down Jessie and James. The dynamic duo have figured out that P doesn’t have a pokeball, and so James has taken the initiative and captured him himself.

The series ends with an epic and emotional battle sequence; with Ash and his pokemon moving one in the same. All the character arcs come to a close in this battle; Ash and his team versus Team Rocket and P. And Ash loses again. He’s kicked down to the ground and P is being forced to attack him. He manages just barely to pick up a rock that’s on the ground and throw it at James’s hand; breaking the pokeball that held P captive. He’s hurt and he’s clearly nearly dying. P rushes to his side and tries to help him up; tries to do anything, but Ash just pushes him away.

Ash keeps telling P to go, go! Get out of here! Be free; get away from them! And he says it in an angry, hateful tone. The episode ends with a blurry picture of P running and then fades to black for the end credits instead of having the background it would usually have.

The last episode opens with the same fade in; not even having the opening theme. Ash blinks a few times and finds he’s in a hospital bed, surrounded by the team that remains and the friends he made on the way. But P isn’t there. The entire episode goes through a montage, with a monologue going sporadically through it. The beginning of the episode is Ash asking about P and finding out that nobody can find him, and then getting out of the bed and running out of the hospital crying, only to be brought back. The monologue explains that he only said those things to save P.

The montage covers the remainder of Ash’s life. It covers how he went through the five stages of grief along with the rest of the team, and how he went on to live a long life alongside them. There’s a house that he buys, and every once in a while the montage cuts back to it, and every time it cuts back there’s another grave there for one of his pokemon. It’s really a melancholy ending.

At the very end of the episode, it focuses in on Ash, old and gray, looking at the tombstones that cover his front yard. One of them is freshly dug: Charizard, the last one that died. In this rewrite Ash and Charizard were the closest bond after P was lost. The entire team, except for P, is there. He turns back to the woods that are across the way and enters them one last time; using a cane with every step. He’s got his iconic baseball cap on, and many pokemon come out to greet the friendly man that they know and love. He waves all of them off, claiming that he’ll be back another day perhaps, that he doesn’t have treats today for them.

And then he sees a couple pokemon that cause him to stop dead in his tracks. A couple small pichu. They notice him too, and begin speaking wildly with each other as they spot him. Throughout the entire montage up until this point, with al the walks through these woods, there has never been one of the pikacu line in them. The pichu wave and motion for Ash to follow them, and he does so, dumbstruck. They lead him back to their home.

And in their home he sees P. Old and tired and with his colors washed out and desaturated, but it’s still P. Cut back to Ash, who’s crying. The two reunite, and Ash apologizes. He asks P if he’s willing to go on one last adventure. And P agrees. They make their way out of the little home; many pikachus and pichus following them, until they get back to Ash’s home.

Ash lies down on the grass, and P lies down next to him. And they’re happy, and there’s nobody trying to take P or hurt Ash. And then P’s figure stops moving. And then Ash closes his eyes, and the monologue that’s been running over the entire episode stops. And then the credits roll.

The credits have little sort of storybook style sketchy doodles of Ash and the entire team, reuniting as they were in their youth, and the show ends with a picture of the entire team together, happy; opacity lowered and stars scattered throughout. Pan down and you see an older woman. She speaks as if she’s finishing telling a long tale. When she finishes talking, the camera cuts to a shot of her across from a group of children, and then pans around to the front of the group, where you see the young face of a child.

This child goes on to be the protagonist of the next season of the show, with a completely different starter and a completely different motivation, but constantly calling back to the Ash legend, for that is what Ash Ketchum had become: a legend.

Anyhow, that’s my really self-indulgent dark pokemon au I guess?? A friend was screaming about how they wanted pikachu to be released and I thought that was a neat idea so I wrote that in,,, apologies for the word vomit!! Again this is just me throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks hjk.

Do tell me if you’d like to hear my other pitch-- it’d be a completely differently toned version; a pitch for pokemon as it is today and not rewriting the first season for an older audience.

Have a wonderful day, and take care of yourselves!

#pokemon #pokemon rewrite #pokemon au #ash ketchum #pokemon au idea #pkmn #pikachu #jessie and james are competent #ash is a competent trainer #dark pokemon au

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myaekingheart · 5 years

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So I’ve been having really intense dreams almost nightly for the past week, and then forgetting to document them, so here’s a shit ton.

May 4th

There was something about playing video games at some random girl’s house, but the details have since grown hazy.

And then I was five years old again. There was a magic school bus that would take you to different dimensions. The first trip we took, I was with an asthmatic boy who reminded me of Mikey from The Goonies, or my childhood best guy friend, or maybe a combination of the two. The bus took us to this pink mountain range, kind of like the one time space Kaguya sends Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi during that fight arc in Shippuden. Another person joined us for the second trip, but I can’t remember where we went. The third time was the most memorable and the most haunting, though. We were on a field trip to some pavilion, and I had flashbacks to when I was a kid and we visited the Indian River Lagoon. Me and this boy and three other kids snuck off to the bus, or maybe it was four other kids so that the math I present next will add up, because when we got to the bus it turned out it had a capacity of only five. We tried to pile inside but it was like the bus knew how many kids were inside of it and the boy was automatically, magically outside somehow. Our teacher was Steve from Blue’s Clues and when he noticed what we were doing, he started to gradually lose his mind. He panicked when he saw us all on the bus, and then the bus started slowly moving through the parking lot, and then it began to shake as if revving up for interdimensional travel. By this point, he had sprinted across the parking lot and was outside screaming “OPEN THE DOOR! OH MY GOD, OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!” banging on the door and the windows and just overall losing his goddamn mind. And then one of the windows shattered and broke the bus’s magic, effectively stopping us all. I don’t remember what became of us afterward.

May 5th

My boyfriend and I were in what was supposed to be the guest bedroom at my grandmother’s house. There was a mattress on the floor and a window at the furthest end of the back wall right next to the corner, and the view outside was that of a street. My boyfriend and I were sitting on the floor hanging out when a black man on a cell phone shows up a little too close to the outside window, and he looked sketchy just by the way he was dressed and presenting himself (almost like he was homeless), and I had no idea what he was doing there so I start to panic. I tell my boyfriend to get down so he can’t see us and we do. And then outside, another man shows up, an older white man with long greasy gray hair. He’s carrying what I’m assuming is a machine gun. He starts shooting. The bullets break the glass and start coming through the window. I’m assuming he likely killed the black man. My heart is racing and I know if we stay where we are, we’re going to die so I grab my boyfriend’s hand and race to the bedroom door but it was shut (it always was). I’m standing there trying to turn the knob as the bullets rain in but I’m freaking out and my palms are probably sweaty and my anxiety is getting the best of me and I can’t fucking get it to turn so I basically have to tell myself to calm the fuck down and concentrate and I eventually do finally get the door open.

This dream then fades into something about an old dream I had once about my grandmother’s master bathroom being connected to the guest bathroom by way of a door or a closet or something like that.

And then that transitioned into a really weird dream about walking to school. It was the same school that has appeared in my dreams many times before, some strange take on my high school that I’ve never seen in real life before. But anyways, I was walking through this neighborhood with the intention of getting to campus, only to soon realize I was being followed. Behind me was this nerdy girl with mousy brown hair, long and parted down the middle, and glasses, and her nose constantly stuck in a book. She had this very plain look about her, no makeup, not necessarily pretty but not ugly either. She kind of reminded me of a girl I knew back in middle school. But anyway, her presence only made me that much more nervous about all of this seeing as I had no real grasp of where the fuck I was going. At one point, when I was in what looked like an empty town square (there was a brick office building about three or four stories tall that kind of reminds me of downtown where I live currently), we ran into another group of students who were also walking to school. They were being led by who I can only assume was my most recent French teacher. She called after the nerdy brunette following me to tell her that she was going the wrong way and had to turn down the next street, therefore passive-aggressively telling me that I, too, was basically going the wrong way. I was left with an overall overwhelming sense of panic and frustration feeling as if I was completely lost and incompetent.

May 7th

I was on this weird, giant cruise ship, the inside of which resembled this mall that I kind of recognize appeared in a different dream from a while back. There was this princess procession, mainly girls dressed like Belle first, that I of course took great interest in. As it turned out, it was part of an audition for a local party princess company. Afterward, all of the girls auditioning left this little shop that the company was based out of. I was standing outside. One of the people who leaves the shop is Cory Nation who, if you’re active on TikTok most likely, posts a lot of Disney cosplay vids on there. So he’s standing outside this little shop as all of the other girls auditioning are leaving and I guess mistakes me for one of them as he comes over to me to tell me how I had done such a good job. I feel kind of awkward about it knowing full well I was not among these girls, and feel as I don’t deserve the compliment, but I don’t say anything about it. Later on, I end up going swimming with him and some others and we’re all in the ocean in full on mermaid tails swimming alongside this sidewalk that looks like a pool deck with lots of greenery in the background. On our way back afterward, I run into my mother who I guess at this point I hadn’t seen in a while and so I start walking along with her. She asked me if I had seen my wealthy aunt at all on the trip and I said no. Then just then as we turn the corner on the pool deck, there she is sitting in a lounger. The last thing I want is to get into a conversation with her, so to avoid the confrontation, I grab my mom by the wrist and start running, dodging other people and whipping around corners just to get away from this woman. Running leads us into this weird Alice in Wonderland type maze thing—I just remember finding our way into a small room made out of ivy-laced black wrought iron fencing that had this diorama windows inside like the ones you find on Main Street in Magic Kingdom. One of them was really bizarre, displaying something like a bunch of chibi Lumieres dressed like Belle? I don’t know, it was weird as fuck.

May 9th

The first dream was brief and kind of boring but I was at a bar and ran into my elementary school crush, who started flirting with me, and it was overall just very weird.

The second dream returned me to my childhood best friend’s house for some birthday party. I remember some sort of mermaid theme. Anyways, my childhood best friend and I haven’t spoken since middle school but we follow each other on social media so I see all of her shit and everything that goes on in her life. Everything about both of our lives at this point is completely separate, and that really shone through in this dream. I was back in this house that, as a child, I had considered a second home, but I was surrounded by people I didn’t know and I just overall felt very awkward and like I didn’t belng there. It was really jarring, especially scrolling through social media the next day and seeing a lot of posts from her.

May 10th

The first dream had me back in my creative writing class at my community college, or at least a version of it. I had forgotten my book. I remember sitting there only half-listening to the teacher as I tried to devise a plan to sneak out of the room with the smaller backpack that was inside my bigger backpack so I could get my book unnoticed. I excused myself to the bathroom. I remember slightly panicking inside a cramped stall as I reorganized my clothes-- I had a hoodie that I slipped on and a button down that I tied around my waist. I forget the rest.

The second dream was the most vivid and perhaps the most unnerving/surreal. I was in what was supposed to my grandmother’s neighbor’s house. This was based on my grandmother’s real life next door neighbor, a woman we’ll call Dolly, who died a couple months ago. She loved puzzles and her house always smelled kind of musty. When I was a kid, she bought me my first Webkinz, an elephant. But besides all that, in my dream I was in what was meant to be an iteration of her house. It was one of those sweeping two story homes that you’d expect an old person to live in. It was me, my grandmother, my parents, and a few other people (all anime characters: a knight with long blue hair in a ponytail, and his daughter who had matching blue hair and a dress, and then Jessie and James from Pokemon and their two canonically non-existent children) who were there, and the house was empty. Dolly, in the dream, had just recently died and I guess we were there to help clean out her things. There was a lot of dust and cat hair (even though she doesn’t have a cat) clinging to the staircase so I took it upon myself to wipe it all down. As I was cleaning, I came across what I had thought was a clump of dust sticking out from underneath one of the stair boards, so I forced it up to pull it out only to find Dolly’s lifeless, disembodied head. So of course I start freaking out, calling for everyone to come take a look at this shit. My mom almost immediately turned back around on the verge of vomiting. My grandmother lost her shit. My dad just kind of stood there calm as he could be and was just kind of like “Well that’s intense.” And the anime gang (save for the little girl, who was not there) kind of exchanged looks and then ultimately decided they could not do this and that they needed to leave. Then the scene switched and we were all outside. The backyard was a makeshift cemetery where patches of dead grass shaped like Christian crosses indicated where the dead were buried. A weird game was ensuing where there were two teams of three people, each run by an old man coach, and the goal was to see how many points each team could rack up by having people take turns kicking golf balls across a field. I was on a team with my boyfriend, who was a soccer player in the past so I remember thinking to myself “He’s got this,” with our captain an old stout man with a plaid newsboy hat on. He was probably from the UK somewhere, I’m thinking Scotland. The other team was led by a rather crotchety old man in a suit, and I don’t remember any of the other members except for a little baby no older than two. The baby was the one I was up against. I gave a decent kick of the golf ball, and then it was the baby’s turn to go but she just kind of waddled around off in her own world, so the crotchety old man took matters into his own hands. He picked up the golf ball and launched it across the field on his own, which made the Scotsman incredibly angry. He started fuming, grabbing a shovel and threatening to dig up one of the corpses, I’m assuming Dolly. Chaos ensued. Everyone started running around and screaming “Don’t do that!” And then next thing I know, I’m on the ground staring into a hole where a corpse had been buried, and all along the dirt wall leading downward were tiny doors in dark muted colors with gold plated numbers, like apartment doors for a dollhouse. And then the next scene saw us all sitting around the staircase staring at this disembodied head, which we had quickly discovered was fake. A hyper-realistic rubber head. Someone, maybe it was myself, made a comment about “Well, you know Dolly and her dolls.” Someone else demonstrated the way you could see the cross-section of the different layers where the neck was, and how you could take the head apart to study each layer. For the last scene, I was outside of my own body watching from afar as the anime group trekked past the house at a great distance through deep snow, feeling unresolved and yet as if they did what they had needed to do. The little blue haired girl, the knight’s daughter, suspected nothing, but everyone else was relatively forlorn.

#weird dreams #ramblings

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fcklifeex · 6 years

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Badlands - Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose - 02

Part One: Here

JON

While it wasn’t a big enough of a promotion to be on the main Vegas strip, our show was in the city next to it. After two days driving, Sami and I got there the day before. Even though the motels down here were dirt cheap, we still didn’t have enough to waste on a room so like usual, we’d crash in the car.

Cleaning off at a gas station shower, we changed and decided to hit up a concert at a nearby dive bar with a few of the other guys. The place was packed. Chicks dressed like sluts. Everyone was drunk. The music was loud and the only light came from the strobe lights on stage. It was exactly why I loved Vegas.

We pushed our way through the crowd to the bar in the back grabbing a round of beers while watching the band.

“How are you up against tomorrow?”

“Gage and Egotistico. Title match.” I yelled over the noise of the crowd.

“Three way? Sickk!” Sami yelled, downing his beer.

Two girls were dancing on the pole on top of the counter, dressed in fishnets and boots, headbanging along to the music. The song ended and the band screamed something to hype up the ground. We heard the girls cheer behind us with the rest of the bar. I looked up at them, barely getting a glimpse of their faces but one of them looked familiar. She laughed and lost her footing but rather than busting her ass, she almost gracefully fell into the arms of some guy.

Where the fuck did I know her from?

“Shit!” The blonde girl still dancing yelled. “You okay?”

The girl didn’t answer, opting to make out with the lucky bastard while he held her up against the bar.

“Jessie! More shots!” The brunette yelled and it hit me instantly.

That voice.

I focused my eyes, trying to see through the smoke and lights. Her green eyes opened and locked on mine, a smirk place on her lips as she caught the guys bottom lip between her teeth tugging it as he groaned.

It was her.

The girl from the bar.

No fucking way. She wasn’t getting away from me this time.

I grabbed the guy by the collar of his shirt, throwing him to the ground off of her. I knew my boys would have my back so there was no need to pay him any mind. Instead, I placed my hands on the bar top on either side of her. Like a cornered animal, I had her.

“My name is Jon Moxley. Hi.” I said, closer to her face so she could hear me.

Unphased by the display, she rested her elbows against the bar, leaning back as she licked her lips.

“Hi Jon Moxley.” She replied, looking me up and down as hunger danced behind her eyes.

Unlike I’d imagined this going, she wasn’t a cornered animal, this is exactly where she wanted to be.

“You remember me? Last time we met – you told me if our destiny brought us together again – you’d tell me your name.”

She laughed as her eyes wandered over me. “You’re the wrestling kid with the fucked up back.”

“I ain’t no kid, babe. All man here.” I replied, running a hand over my chest. “Is that really how you remember me?”

With a nonchalant shrug, she took my beer from my hand, taking a long pull. “It was a sexy back if that makes you feel any better.”

“Kinda does.” I laughed, taking my beer back out of her hands. “I went back to the bar the next day – they said you’d be gone for weeks.”

“Nah” She shook her head. “I go where the wind blows me.”

“Oh yeah? The wind blew you to Vegas? Guess it really is destiny.” I laughed, placing a hand on her hip to pull her against me. “Now what’s your name?”

She looked down at our bodies, licking her bottom lip before returning her eyes to mine. “Name’s Levi.”

“Levi?”

“Yeah! Pops was a big fan of Don McLean.” She replied but continued when she saw the confusion in my face. “Y’know – the song that goes ‘Bye Bye Miss American Pie, took my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.’ I’m just lucky he didn’t go with Chevy.”

I laughed, finishing off my beer. “Gotcha – still weird as fuck but it fits you. When you write it down do people call you Levi like the jeans?”

“More often than I’d like to admit.” She laughed, grabbing two shot glasses from the bar and handing me one. “Cheers to destiny Jon Moxley.”

“Cheers to destiny, Levi.”

She clinked her glass against mine before downing another shot.

“You feel like getting outta here?”

“Fuck yeah -” I nodded.

“Here finish these.” She said as she handed me another shot glass.

We downed those and she reached back behind the bar, grabbing a couple of 20 dollar bills the bartender had left on the counter.

“Little something for the road.” She laughed, grabbing me by the hand, pulling me out towards the back hallway of the club, leaving through the back exit.

“I like the way you think.” I laughed, following her as she ran towards a black SUV.

She threw me a wink and we got in the car, peeling off the parking lot with the music blasting.

“The hell you doing all the way out here?” She asked, above the music, fixing her lipstick in the rearview mirror. “Last time I saw you I think I was in North Carolina? Something like that.”

I laughed, nodding my head to the music. “I got a show tomorrow. You’re going to come.”

“That so?” She asked, turning her head to face me.

Before I could reply, she turned the wheel sharply pulling into the parking lot of an liquor store.

“Come on, drinks on me.” She said, already getting out of the car to head inside.

I followed behind her and she grabbed my hand pulling me through the aisles, handing me two six packs of beer before grabbing a handful of nips.

Everything was moving so fast but I didn’t care. Something about her had me following everything she did. She seemed like she had a plan and I wasn’t going to question it. Instead, I watched as she wandered the rest of the store before we paid for everything with the stolen $60 and we were right back on the road jamming to whatever song was playing. She had me mesmerized.

“Where are we going?”

---------------

My head pounded when tapping on a window woke me up. I groaned as I opened my eyes suddenly becoming aware of my surroundings.

I was in the car from last night. The seats in the back had been laid to make one big bed. I was in boxers.

God who was knocking? Why did my head hurt so bad? How fucked up did I get last night?

“What!” I yelled, rubbing my eyes only to open them and see a cop. “Shit.”

He looked stern and I opened the door.

“Rough night?” The man asked.

I nodded, opening my mouth to speak and noticing how dry it was.

“You been drinking and driving son?” He asked, motioning towards the bottles of liquor that littered the back.

“Uh,” I looked back and shook my head. “Not driving.” I offered.

“Fuckin’ kids.” He murmured under his breath and nodded his head, “Get on outta here. It’s a no park zone.”

“Yes, sir.” I nodded, shutting the door and looking for my pants only to remember that I wasn’t alone last night. That chick – Levi – where the hell was Levi? Wasn’t this her car?

I pulled on my jeans, throwing on my boots and t-shirt only wondering why everything felt so stiff.

I moved towards the glove box to find the registration. Marleen Davids. Who the fuck was Marleen Davids?

God, this car was fucking stolen wasn’t it?

The keys left on the dash just confirmed that the car wasn’t Levi’s but at least she’d left a note.

“Till the wind blows you my way again Jon Moxley. <3 L”

What the fuck did that mean?

Again I was left with millions of unanswered questions. What did we even do last night? Why was I practically naked? Did we fuck? I think i’d remember that much. How much shit would I get into for being in a stolen car?

Why couldn’t I wait until I saw her again?

* Gifs Not Mine!

Again Sorry I took so long with this. Let me know how you like it.

#dean ambrose #jon moxley fanfic #jon moxley #jon moxley fanfiction #dean ambrose fanfic #dean ambrose fanfiction

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iammarylastar · 6 years

Photo

3. Back to the U.S.

I’m dead. After I’ve travelled more than half of the world, I’ve finally reached Washington. So much wasted time which had kept me away from Angie, more than 10 fucking months. It already took me forever to heal from my wounds and be able to walk again. Thanks to the help and good care of Mikomi.

Hope. That’s what her name meant. That’s what she gave me. That’s what helped me to stay alive, what gave me the strength to go on, along with the sweet memories of Angie’s face.

Hope is exactly what left me as I put my feet on the ground. Sacred ground of United States of America. The land that bore me. And Angie. Maybe my child if I’m lucky.

I left Mikomi and her dad, on a fishing boat heading to China. Not really, in those times of war, Japanese and Chinese were like cats and dogs. I’m already lucky I landed on that tiny island where Sensei and his people lived like in the 17th century, they even don’t have electricity. They live in their own world, far from the war.

The ship’s master kicked me out on a Chinese island in the middle of nowhere in the East China Sea, then I sailed from tiny islands to tiny islands until I reached China.

I managed to find a cargo ship heading to America. U.S.A. Read on my lips: U.S.A. My Japanese was quite decent, but my Chinese totally non-existent and I I swear when I found out I’d landed in California, I cried my eyes out. Fucking fate.

My original plan was to land somewhere on the East Coast, then ride a train, a bike or a fucking horse to Washington, where I could gather clues to find out what had happened to Angie. Or Jessie. I was even ready to face Gessepp again if he was back in the Mother land and beg him on my knees, even kiss his bloody ass to know where she lived.

I ’d rather ask the War Department which was supposed to have all the slightest information available about that damn war, all the shit about our base included.

I struggled so much to make myself understood on that Chinese pier, unable to even write U.S.A. with current letters, those damn Chinese hieroglyphs still totally unknown to me. My face lightened at the sweet and weird sound, rolling off that Asian’ s tongue:

“America? Yes, there!” OK, he didn’t really say that, but enthusiastically nodded his head, pointing at a big ship. My tired brain was so relieved and happy that it assumed the boat was heading to the East Coast. Fuck. Me.

San Francisco was beautiful though but I didn’t have time for tourism. I had to survive, find a job to have money, clothes and somewhere to sleep. I did dirty jobs, exhausting physical works; I was alternatively a beggar, a cow boy, a farm hand, a thief, whatever I could do to earn my keep. Keep going. Keep walking. Keep dreaming of Angie and my baby. I made my way across the country, heading East by foot, sometimes hitchhiking, sneaking into a freight train when I was lucky. I never rested, I never stopped, until I finally reached Washington.

Now, I’m losing my nerves at the War Dept, South East Asia sector office, biting my lips bloody as the bitch in front of me repeats her shit for the umpteenth time.

“I’m sorry, but it’s classified as…”

“ I don’t give a fuck about classified! I risked my goddamn life in Japan to save your bloody American ass, I’ve travelled the whole country by foot to be here, so just give me the fucking answer I need! Where is She?? ”

She startles as I slam violently my palm on the desk, marking each word I’m barking so I’m sure she fucking gets the point. I’m aware the whole hall turns silent and feel a thousand sets of eyes stabbing my back but I don’t care. I keep staring at her with a murderous glare, leaning half my upper body over the desk, pointing a threatening forefinger to her face.

I’ve wasted a whole week, getting sent from offices to offices, from stupid to haughty or suspicious secretaries, claiming I had no appointment, no military ID, no reason to be here.

Fuck me I have all the reasons to be here. I have one. I lost the love of my life and my survival, the only chance I get to have her back, depends on you, bitch! But all I’ve earned by now are closed doors and mouths.

Oh, I forgot, one smart ass asked me if I was a deserter, another told me that I could be stamped “fit for duty” if I couldn’t submit any evidence of a “serious injury”. I laughed so hard she almost sent me to an insane asylum.

The truth is there’s nothing to be happy about. Angelina McCarthy just doesn’t exist in their files, all that’s Colonel Gessepp related is marked secret. Mac, Louie, Phil and myself are MIA, assumés KIA, end of story.

“Sir, I’m asking you to step back and calm down or I’ll call the security guards.” The frightened bitch barely whispers, swallowing hard. Jesus I wish she would choke on her spit.

Two shadows appear behind my back and I feel defeated, I know that being thrown to jail is not the best option to get Angie back.

“OK…” I drop my head and lean my hands on the desk for a second, waiting for the weakness in my knees and the bile rising in my throat to pass.

“FUCK!” I grip and pull on my hair as I howl in frustration, kicking out the chair I was supposed to sit on.

I told you I’m dead. This is the end of the road. No hope left. I could knock at every single door across the whole country, asking for Angie, looking for her but I’m so tired. I just want to lie down on the ground, curl up like a baby and sleep for the next 50 years.

“CUP! CUUUP!” A scream. A call. A female voice. I turn around to the sound, terrified by what I’m about to face. Who I am about to face. That’s not Angie’s voice, I’m sure of it, though her voice could have changed, by dint of cries.

My sight is still blurry with tears and rage, but a woman is running towards me, calling my name out loud.

I have no choice but let the hysterical stranger jump on me, kiss my face and hug me, her face widened in shock that I was back from the dead. Which I actually am.

“Oh Jesus, Cup, is it really you?” She asks between cries, patting my cheeks and shoulders.

I know that voice. I know those hands. Stop crying on my chest so I can see your face. I gently pull the woman back to study her face. I lost some parts of my life because of the crash, but not her. Debrah.

“Step back guys. It’s OK. He’s with me.” She orders to the guards who surround us, waving her ID card that proved she works here.

“ Cup, what the fuck happened to you? We all thought you were dead.”

“Yeah, I thought it myself. But I survived. But tell me, please Deb, tell me about Angie. Is she safe? Does she live here in America?”

“Come with me. We need to talk. We need a drink. You need to know.” She states, grabbing my hand and dragging me outside.

It was a long talk. A fucking long disaster. I wish I haven’t survive just to hear this. And the dozen of cups of coffee I downed hasn’t helped me to calm my nerves.

“ We all waited for your plane to come back. Everything was ready for the wedding. Angie has been waiting for you in her wedding dress for hours. All eyes scrutinized the skies until dark. Past midnight, we lost hope. It’s been too long. You were supposed to be back around 5, and for the first hours, it was still OK. You never know how long a mission could last. The crowd started to leave but I stayed with her. And Mac and Phil’s girlfriends. Then it was done. The other pilots stated you should be lost, crashed, that at this time the plane was out of gas anyway.”

“ Two engines died, there was no chance to fly back. I don’t know what happened to the others.” I explain.

“ There must be survivors, the lifeboat was found few days later. Empty. I’m sorry Cup.”

As sad as I feel knowing that my bros were likely dead, there’s only one life I want to hear about.

“Gessepp showed up on the tarmac and dismissed everyone, yelling the party was over. He summoned Angie to go home but she didn’t budge. She has stood up there, clung to her bride’s bouquet for 3 days. She never cried.” “ She broke down the morning of the third day, dissolved in tears. Jessica came to bring her home and she has disappeared for weeks. I tried to visit her, despite my fear of the Colonel, but nobody answered at the door. Marla managed to have some news but they were so bad. As expected, she was devastated. She stopped talking, stopped eating and was just waiting to die of grief.”

As Debrah goes on speaking, I feel my chest tightening, my heart crying as bad as my eyes. Angie, my love letting herself starve, willing to die. No. Please no.

“After a month, the doc forced her to the hospital. That’s where they found out… Oh Cup, how could I tell you?” Debrah wipes her tears and grabs my hands.

“She was pregnant, wasn’t she?” I knew it from the beginning, I knew about my baby girl. Oh fuck, a month of starvation and grief should have killed them both.

“Yes, how do you know about that?” I can’t answer but try a shy smile. I felt it. I knew.

“She was so weak but the baby made it. She decided to live for that. To have your baby, so you would be alive somehow. We were just a few in the secret, she made me swear to never tell anyone.”

My face lightens at the news, but Debrah bursts into more tears and tries to speak between sobs and cries.

“ She resumed eating and gained weight back. It was hard without you but she managed to smile, laughed sometimes. She was on her second trimester when… When…”

“What? Fuck Deb, what happened?” I’m losing my mind. I know it’s bad, I know the story will end with my baby… gone but I need to hear it from her mouth.

She covers her face with her palms, leaving mines naked and cold.

“ She started to show and… Gessepp… he found out she was pregnant. He lost his shit and turned furious. It was Sunday, we were having a picnic after the office. He barged in in the meadow next to the church, totally enraged, calling her a whore and all that shit, saying you lied and fucked her before marriage. He was screaming like a damned maniac, and…” Her cries increase and she has to gasp for air before she’s able to speak again.

“He beat her up, Jesus, he couldn’t stop yelling and kicking her belly. Some guys tried to intervene and protect Angie but he threatened them to death, yelling he was a fucking Colonel and that nobody could get in his way without paying the consequences.”

Tell me about it. That’s exactly what he said to me that day he almost killed Angie at the café. And I cowardly stayed still and denied my love for her. I’m biting my lips so hard I taste my own blood.

“He even told the pastor to go fuck himself. He grasped Angie and dragged her through the meadow, leaving all the church members in shock.”

OK. I got it. Stop it there. I don’t want to hear what’s next. My jaws are clenched, my fist balled so tightly my nails are piercing my palms. But she keeps talking.

“The next day, knowing that Gessepp had a meeting with the Defense Staff, we went to his home. Jess opened the door, she’s been beaten up too. We brought them both to the Army hospital, begging the docs to keep them safe from him. But at night, he arrived, enraged like a bull, hit some nurses and tried to choke Angie. It took 3 docs to snatch Angie from his claws and finally a nurse stabbed a hypo in his thigh which knlcked him out for a while.”

Hearing that motherfucker was out comforts me just a bit. I would have given anything to be there and finish him off. But I’m still worried to death about Angie. And Jessie. And little Abi.

“What happened next nearly blow up the whole base. The case got back to the top of Gessepp’s hierarchy. The docs testified, Angie and Jess testified, we all did. Gessepp couldn’t remain unpunished for what he’s done. He got arrested and impeached for his indecent behaviour, ashamed and kicked out of the Corps of the Army. All of us who testified were held incommunicado and offered a job at home, that’s how I ended up in Washington.”

Jesus. I’ve held my breath for too long. I need a break, I need a drink, but above all I need to know more about Angie. I rub my face vigorously, then scratch my beard, giving Debrah some time to gather herself.

“And the baby?” I whisper.

“Cup, honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t know. Angie and Jess left within the week. Back to the States, but nobody knows where exactly, to keep them safe from Gessepp. All I know is that she had to stay in hospital, she suffered bad bleeding… Oh Cup don’t hate me for telling you all that.”

“The military Court suggested Jessica to ask for divorce and the full custody of Abigail, which she accepted. They provided adequate resources for her and Abi, for damages and official apologizes for letting Gessepp act with complete impunity for too long. Me and the girls at the office made false certificates so Angie could benefit widow’s pension, making sure she would be free for rant.”

Jesus all that shit makes me want to puck out.

“Think Cup, think. I’m sure she’s somewhere waiting for you. You guys are made for each other. We became close friends after you… vanished. She talked to me. She loves you Cup, she’ll never stop, baby or not.”

I shake my head no and drop it between my hands. I’m too devastated to think, too tired to keep hope.

Debrah moves to sit next to me and gently grabs my chin and lifts it up to search my gaze.

“Honey, I know what’s like to be crazy about you. I was not the one for you, but Angie is your soulmate. You know it. Promise me to find her.”

I finally look up at her, we dated for a while when she worked in the base. She was pretty disappointed when I broke up for another chick. I now realize what prick I’d been.

“I’m sorry Deb. Sorry if I hurt you.”

“Nah it’s good. I found a good guy to forget you. I got married last year.” She smiles heartily. “ You deserve to be happy. With her. You know her by heart. If you were her, where would you settle down? Did she have any family? Friends? Relatives?”

“No. Nobody. She had just Jessie and Abi. And me.”

Poor me. I’ve never felt so alone. You know, like the entire world thinks you’re dead and you’re not but you have no chance to spread the news. Debrah is basically the only human being who knows about me. And that’s freaking terrifying. My fingers are fidgeting on their own, rubbing circles on the tattoo on my wrist. Mikomi. Hope. I swore I wouldn’t give up, so think Cup, think.

“Did you plan to live somewhere? I’m pretty sure you talked about what you’d want to do when the war ends.”

I stiffen, yes we did talk about it. Our dreams, on our first date.

She wanted to be a teacher. I planned to go back home, to take over the family business. The farm where I grew up.

Fuck me. I jump out of my chair, ready to sprint my final stretch.

I’m back, Alabama.

@captstefanbrandt @kenzieam @tigpooh67 @red-diary @jaicourtneyseyes @dreamersdreamlife @narfea @nickysurfer28 @jojuarez26 @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @every-jai @smartieblue22 @@bookgirlsthing @athe-krieger-der-elemente @writingismyhappytime @lunaschild2016 @wolfie-132 @bookwarm85 @knittingmad @serride @pauwa85 @onceinamillionlifetimes @sajess98 @carlos8989 @books-and-sin @pathybo

#Jai Courtney #hope #morning cup #angelina jolie #broken #fanfiction

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noodlecupcakes · 6 years

Text

Ultraviolence - Chapter 18 (Mafia Negan AU)

Warnings: Violence, Lots of violence, Murder, Language, Smoking, Threats of violence, Threats of violence to an animal (Whilst Negan hates cats, I don't), Mentions of torture, Torture

Shout at me if you want to be added to the taglist :D

Chapter 18

Negan’s P.O.V

A group of my men had been following Ezekiel all day, whilst a much larger team of men broke into his home and took out his men. After they'd given us the all clear, Simon and I headed over to his home. It wasn't as big as mine nor as nice as mine. I spotted a cat in the living room, a big fat ginger cat. He was clearly spoiling her due to her size. Her name had been carved into her food bowl. Shiva. She would occasionally look over, her eyes narrowing as if she were glaring whilst her tail slowly moved back and forth.

Cats were fucking evil and that cat was proof. I made myself comfortable in the living room, taking it all in. The decorator must have been fucking wild because this room was like looking at some Picasso shit. Bright clashing colours throughout the room, ugly rugs across the floor. The couch didn’t even have a bag to it meaning you couldn’t get comfy. I dread to think what the rest of this place looked like. Simon came in with some coffee and snacks for whilst we waited. Of course, he’d raided the cupboards. If it wasn’t Gwen doing it then it would be Simon.

An hour into our wait we got word that a car was on its way but it wasn’t Ezekiel’s. Thankfully it was just the one car too meaning whoever was in there could be dealt with easily. My men waited inside, ready to grab whoever it was. There was the sound of struggle, this person wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Even when they knew they were going to lose. They were brought into the lounge, a gun pressed to the back of the guy’s head. He was a scruffy looking bastered even with his expensive suit. His brown hair just reached his shoulders whilst stubble covered his chin and jaw. I didn’t recognise him but Simon did.

“Hey Daryl, nice to see you,” Simon beamed, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. Daryl glared at him, glancing back at the gun to his head. He was probably considering trying to overpower the situation and escape in one piece. “I’d advise against that Daryl,” I spoke. Daryl aimed his glare at me this time before his eyes darted to the floor. He chose to remain quiet. I glanced at Simon, motioning for him to give me some context on who the fuck Daryl was. He explained that Daryl was Ricks right hand man. I grinned wolfishly. Oh well that was fucking fantastic.

“Take any weapons he has or anything that could help him escape. Tie him and put him down in the basement. We’ll have a little chat later,” I explained. Simon nodded and Daryl was escorted out of the room. Daryl would come in very handy for Ricks downfall. He shouldn’t have been stupid enough to send his right-hand man out on his own at a time like this. I took a sip of my coffee and glanced at my watch. Thankfully in a time like this I could be patient. I hope Ezekiel was enjoying his last day alive.

Nightfall came and finally his majesty showed up. Daryl had been transported back to my own house where people were keeping a close eye on him. Ezekiel was right to be cautious as he entered his home, gun drawn. The gun was wrestled from his hand at least two shots going off. Let’s just hope they’d gone into the house and not my men. I got up from my seat and met them in the hallway. “Glad you finally made it, we didn’t think you were coming home,” I spoke. “Rick will find out-“ Ezekiel started. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

Ezekiel was forced into the kitchen and tied to a chair. Perfect place for what was about to go down. “Go get his fucking cat,” I ordered. His eyes widened, “don’t touch Shiva!” Simon brought the cat in, holding her by the scruff of her neck. She hissed and attempted to wriggle free. “So, if you tell us what we want to know Shiva here goes free,” I explained. Ezekiel glanced between the cat and I. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Ricks clearly got a plan. I want to know what it is,” I continued.

Ezekiel remained tight lipped, prompting Simon to tighten his hold on the cat. She attempted to swipe at him and bite him, thankfully he was wearing gloves. “You’re going to hurt a poor defenceless animal? Your more crazy than I thought,” Ezekiel spat. “Well we were hoping by simply threatening you with the idea of hurting her would work. We’re not going to hurt her. But because that didn’t work, things are going to go much worse for you,” I explained. “You can beat me all you like.” “Good, glad we have your consent.”

I stepped back to let Simon do the honours. He dropped the cat and advanced on Ezekiel. The cat was quick to leave the house. Simon put on a knuckle buster and went to work on Ezekiel’s face. At one point I think I heard a cheekbone crack. Ezekiel wasn’t going to talk, not that it bothered me too much. With him out of the way Rick was going to be weakened. And now that we had Daryl that just made things even better. I called Simon off, looking at the damage he’d done. Ezekiel’s face was a bloody and bruised mess. The man was barely conscious. That was going to change in about five minutes. Whilst Simon had been beating the shit out of him the rest of my men had been pouring gasoline around the house.

I made sure the restraints were secure, didn’t want the fire burning through them and giving him a chance to escape. Simon and I left the house, standing just outside the front door. The house had now been completely vacated, only the occupant inside. He was still too weak to try and struggle free. Good. I pulled out a cigarette and Simon lit the end for me with a match. He dropped the match, fire instantly spreading throughout the house. I smiled and closed the door, not wanting the flames to extinguish. Simon drove us back to the house after watching as the house slowly was taken over by the flames. Had to make sure the fucker really was burning in there before leaving.

I felt relief. One less person to deal with. I owned almost all of the territories now. Just Ricks left and then everything would be mine. I would be the most powerful man in the city and nobody could touch me. I smiled to myself. It was about damn time. And I had Roxy to thank for making things move along quicker. We got back to the mansion and I headed upstairs, finding Roxy in the bedroom getting ready for bed. “Hey baby girl,” I spoke. “Everything go according to plan?” She asked. “Yeah.” She smiled, “good.”

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The next morning Roxy and I headed downstairs for breakfast. She sat down opposite me, loading her plate with fruit. “You didn’t tell me we were having a guest,” she spoke. “I would have if I had known Ricks right hand man could be so stupid.” “He still isn’t talking. Even after Gwen tore out a fingernail.” “Damn. Alright. We’ll send him back to Rick.” “All of him?” Roxy raised an eyebrow a knowing smirk on her lips. “Not all of him. Maybe just a finger or two.”

After breakfast I had Gwen remove two of Daryl’s fingers and send them off in an envelope for Rick. However, there was another unexpected guest showing up on my front doorstep. The kid was barely eighteen, brown hair that came down to his chin and blue eyes. He was wearing jeans and a shirt. He raised his hands in defence and surrender as various guns were pointed at him. What the fuck was Rick sending his kid here for? To do his dirty work? Great parenting. Carl Grimes was led into the dining room and forced into a chair. He seemed strangely calm. Roxy made a tray of tea and coffee, like she had done for when Gregory had visited. I made sure Simon and Gwen stayed in the room, just in case the little shit tried anything.

“You can relax, my dad doesn’t know I’m here,” Carl explained. I raised an eyebrow, “then why the fuck are you here?” “I wanted to speak with you before anybody else dies. I want this bullshit between you and my dad to stop. It’s pointless and too many people on both sides have died.” “Kid, your daddy made the first move-“ I began. “I know. And I apologize on his behalf for that. He’d heard things about you from the likes of Gregory and Ezekiel, bad things so he thought he’d be doing them all a favour if he took you out.” “Alright. But before you go any further, I want you to know there’s nothing you can do or say to stop me. after he threatened the woman I love he has a very slim chance of living.”

Carl sighed and took a sip of tea, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be this stubborn.” “Sorry kid. You have good intentions and I appreciate that but I’m not about to back down now.” “No negotiations?” “I’ve done shit like that before. It doesn’t last. I’d suggest getting out of town for a little while. If I see you fighting alongside your dad I’m gonna have no choice than to take you down too.” Carl nodded in understanding. I knew this must be difficult for him, torn between siding with his father or running like a coward. He’d been brave enough to come here on his own, I’m sure he would be brave again to make the right decision. I had more respect for this kid than his dad that was for sure. He’d come here knowing he could have died just to try and speak to me. That takes balls.

Carl eventually left after finishing his tea and trying one last time to get me to sit down with his father. Roxy cleared away the tea and coffee, whilst Gwen went to check on Daryl once more. There was no doubt that Rick already knew about Daryl and Ezekiel and was likely to make a move within the next few days. We’d be ready for him.

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