Philia 2 and 3, Storge 1 and 3 (for the Urge bc I'm curious)

7 Loves Ask game here

PHILIA

2. Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

Answered here

To add: The Urge is so terrified of making friends and has gone through the seven stages of grief when it comes to finally being in a situation where they can make friends, it’s been so long they don’t really know how to be a friend anymore, so they default to parent or counselor or therapist.

3. What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Loyalty, which for The Urge is inherently tied into his sense of love. He must feel like his friends are like family, with the same dogged loyalty of a family member. He must feel like they will always come back, that they will always, ultimately choose him. (Considering his lack of friends… well.)

STORGE

1. Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Bhaal? Absolutely not, but we know that.

The Urge’s adoptive parents? Absolutely.

His mother was a gnomish woman who was a ranger in the Underdark before moving topside, and the reason for his Gloomstalker subclass. His father was a half elf and one of the most cutting edge and controversial scientists on the Swordcoast.

The only reason The Urge retains any of his personality or sanity is because of these two. His affableness, his capacity for curiosity, his more clinical moments, the love and philosophy for The Hunt may be twisted, with Bhaal having convinced The Urge that these traits are his, not his adoptive family’s doing, but they are there none the less. The only real gifts from his life before that The Urge ever got to keep, no matter how soiled now.

Their parents memories defines everything for him, even if on an unconscious level. They teach him how to be a parent, what being a parent really means, what being a leader means. The recall of his mother teaching him how to skin a deer manifesting in the curving slits on a man’s belly as he prepares it for roasting, the patience he has with Orin when he teaches her to do the same. His father’s gentle way of bringing a baby into the world, his gentle tucking in of a corpse after autopsy in The Urge’s own tucking away of a body after he is uh, done with it, the way he carefully delivers a new generation of Bhaalists in clean comfort.

3. How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Bhaal terrifies The Urge and The Urge is very very sure that his adoptive parents would hate him so thoroughly that he all but represses their memories. So really, it’s just The Urge trying to please father while keeping ‘himself’ and his ‘real parents’ and his children afloat in the never ending eye of Father’s storm.

He doesn’t love or trust Bhaal, though you’d never know it - he says the right words and trains himself to think the right phrases. He puppets devotion. Bhaal’s approval means nothing to him in terms of self worth, but The Urge lives in constant terror of his disapproval, of his ire, so he walks that thin, thin line. He feels nothing towards what he wants, only that father desires it and so he shall pursue it.

Less child, more hunting dog.

Doorstep [Sakuma Sakuya/Reader] [NSFW]

(Also posted here on Ao3! Please enjoy my ramblings)

You’re surprised to see Sakuya on your doorstep.

Your boyfriend had been quite busy lately, juggling a part-time job as well as spending all his nights rehearsing with his troupe. If he had the energy left he’d text you a goodnight and an apology, to which you always responded that you understood perfectly well why you couldn’t see him. It left you feeling a little empty inside that it had been so long since you’d even gotten to lay eyes on him in person but there was nothing to be done about that, there was no way you were going to say that over text and make him feel bad for things outside of his control. You had been wary about not triggering any potential abandonment issues since you knew of his past, not wanting him to think you’ll up and leave him if he doesn’t bend to your will.

You were proud of him for finding a place for himself in the world, and you wanted him to retain that happiness while also having a little safe haven with you.

You were in college yourself so it’s not as though you weren’t busy, you had paper upon paper to finish, and the time you had left was good to recover what was left of your sanity. Would Sakuya being there make you feel better? Absolutely! But again, you didn’t want to push that pressure on him when he was already busy. Sakuya deserved someone who wasn’t selfish, he deserved someone who would only encourage him to keep living his life to the fullest and who would support him, stand by him, no matter what. You wanted to be that person because you loved him that much, Sakuya had been the only man to ever make you feel like you were walking on clouds, you couldn’t diminish how important he was in your life.

That’s why you just don’t get how this phone call went so sour when you were doing nothing but speaking the truth.

“Do you miss me?”

“Sakuya…” Ooh, that was a direct hit, it hurt to hear the way his voice cracked when he asked that. He couldn’t possibly imagine how badly you missed him, how much you just wanted to see him again, but for some reason those words won’t come out. You don’t want to pour your heart out to him over the phone, again worried that you would just be guilting the poor boy. You just don’t realize how unwanted you’re truly making him feel.

“You don’t miss me?”

“Of course I miss you! It’s just… It’s just okay that you’re busy, is all. We’ll see each other again. Got the rest of our lives, yeah?”

It didn’t sit right with Sakuya.

It’s not like he wanted someone to obsessively control or demand his time but to have you acting as though you didn’t care… It made his heart feel heavy in his chest. The odd amount of indifference made him feel on edge, like you weren’t being honest with him, but about what? Did you really not want to continue this relationship but you didn’t know how to break up with him? Sakuya just didn’t get it. He didn’t know how to confide his thoughts in his friends without seeming like a fool, this was his first real relationship after all and he wasn’t quite in the mood to hear that there were other fish in the sea.

“Sorry, I’m really tired tonight… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to rehearse?”

“I was going to come over for a bit before we started, is that… not okay?” Sakuya is gnawing on his bottom lip nervously, his heart sinking further, wondering what you might say next. The few seconds of silence that followed after made his heart ache, made him want to sob into his pillow, but he bit back those overwhelming emotions since he didn’t want to attract Masumi’s attention.

“It’s okay, Sakuya! I look forward to it! So just get some rest and I’ll see you then, okay?”

You’re cursing yourself after hanging up, wondering why you couldn’t just say what you wanted to. You wanted to say that you loved him, that you missed his cute face, that you couldn’t wait to shower him with kisses. You wanted to tell him he’d be lucky if he ever left your house again because you were willing to take him hostage for a day or two if it meant getting him all to yourself. So selfish of you to think like that, you couldn’t help but scold yourself over it, laying down and hoping these weird feelings disappear once you finally see your boyfriend again.

They don’t.

Sakuya doesn’t greet you with his normal cheery smile or a hug and you don’t move in, sensing his odd mood immediately. You invited him in and watched as he went right to sitting down on the couch, hesitantly closing the door; you might’ve contemplated for at least a solid two seconds about running out so you didn’t have to deal with the heavy conversation that was sure to follow.

“You don’t have to hide things from me.” Sakuya said with a pout on his face, the little frown he gives after looking out of place. “I want you to… trust in me. If you don’t care about me the same way…”

“I do trust you it’s just…” Sakuya is frozen, face growing pale as he realized you completely ignored his second statement. Did that mean…?

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me! We love each other, right? So, if we love each other, we can make it through anything!” He must’ve been reading the more romantic plays lately to spout out such an ideal without blinking an eye but it was so endearingly him, to the point where you couldn’t stop yourself from holding Sakuya’s face in your hands. Tears were beginning to gather in the corner of his eyes, likely from frustration, and you began to realize that all you had done to ‘protect’ Sakuya had only put up a wall between you.

“I do. I do love you, very much. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know how you feel!” Sakuya cried out, “You won’t tell me!”

Another direct shot but probably a well-deserved one. You hated seeing the pain you were putting him through, wondering if maybe breaking up would be the best. You clearly weren’t adept at relationships either if you managed to let things get this bad, to the point your boyfriend was in tears in front of you

“I remember the first time I ever saw you on stage… It was before the company became an actual company again. And you weren’t very good…” You swiped away a stray tear with your thumb as Sakuya nodded, “But I was invested ‘cause I thought you were so damn cute. I’m really glad that you got a chance to really act and that you’ve grown as much as you have. Getting to see you up on stage with the others makes me so happy because I know how happy you are up there.”

“…I’m happy with you, too.” His voice is soft, almost too quiet for you to hear but you’ve leaned in close at this point, your body naturally drawn towards him. “I like being able to see you in the crowd when I’m on stage. I know if I look at you too long I’ll forget my lines but just that glance is enough to make me feel confident! I want you to feel that way about me.”

“I do feel that way about you… Ugh.” You leaned forward, forehead resting against his as his big, puppy dog eyes looked into yours. “It’s not you doing anything wrong, Saku, it’s me. I just don’t want to bring you down…”

“I’m stronger than you give me credit for, you know?” Sakuya is pouting again, “I know you met me when I first joined the company but so much has changed since then. We’ve both changed since then. I just want us to grow together and not apart; I promise that I can help! Or at least support you!”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid, Sakuya. Can you forgive me?”

“I love you.” Sakuya sounded breathless, the look in his eyes changing within seconds; it was something a little different now, a look you hadn’t known your boyfriend was capable of making before you first had sex.

His lips pressed hard against yours, practically knocking you back on the couch with the intensity. You heard him mumble out some type of apology but you’re too lost in his touch to care, your entire body screaming that the emotional stress had to be worked out somehow. That whole kidnapping plan might become a reality if he kept this up, how were you ever supposed to give him up after this? You needed him here to heal your heart and you had to make sure all the damage that had been done closed up on him as well, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him plastered against you.

“Bedroom?”

“Right here, please.”

Still so polite even while having a raging hard-on after a fight, the tears completely dried from his eyes now as he gave you a look of pure lust. The mood had switched so quickly once the air had been cleared and you were grateful for that, grateful for a chance to get rid of these sad feelings and replace them with a sensation that would make you both feel better. You’re both desperately stripping clothes but you’re faster, getting the jump on him as he’s just taken his pants off. You’re thankful he wore boxers for easy access because you can’t wait another moment for him to be inside you, straddling his lap while his hands rose to touch your hips.

“You’re so beautiful.” Sakuya smiled up at you, looking as if he was meeting a Goddess for the very first time. “I love you.”

“I love you even more.”

You both let out a gasp as he slid inside you, his head thrown back, revealing his throat to you in an act of submission. You’re pleased that he’s making your job easier for you as you leaned in to pepper all the kisses you could over it, giggling as he bucked his hips up in desperate need for friction. It had been so long since you had touched yourself let alone had sex, there was no doubt that Sakuya was in the same boat. You remembered the wide-eyed look he gave you after you asked if he even masturbated since he had to share a room, basking in the way your heart fluttered at how cute a totally red-faced Sakuya looked.

He was still noisy, just how you liked him, moaning at each movement and kiss you gave him. His head was only full of thoughts of you, just like they had been the past week. But these ones were more positive, full of happier memories, full of a hope for the future of your relationship. He could feel how much you loved him each time he thrust into you, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered sweet nothings into them. He had been afraid that he’d mess up the first time you ever had sex and you had promised to keep him calm, giving him quiet encouragement while taking the lead. He discovered that, while he did want to make you feel good, he liked it better when you took the lead and allowed him to follow. He liked hearing your voice directly in his ear, he liked hearing you whimper his name and tell him how perfect he was at making you feel good.

“Aah- I don’t think I can last much longer…!” Sakuya is starting to sweat but is still making noble attempts to keep a steady rhythm, his arms wrapping around your middle to bring you close to him. “Can we come together? I want to-”

“Mmm, yeah we can, I’m really close…” You reached down to touch yourself to help you along but Sakuya beat you to it, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes and another smile; you couldn’t resist him any longer, leaning in to lock lips with him again as you both come. You feel the desperate twitching of his hips, the way his fingers are digging into the soft flesh of your hips but never enough to so much as leave a mark. He was always gentle with you even within the throes of passion and you truly loved that your body was such a naturally kind, caring soul.

“I love you.”

Again, those three little words are exchanged.

Again, you return them, meaning them now more than ever.

You’re no longer surprised to see Sakuya on your doorstep because you’ve come to one simple realization.

You are his home.

May I request some hcs of Dimitri and a caring! Reader please? like they think he's just their friend and is looking out for him? Like sending him food, asking if he's okay and all that stuff, only because he saved their life.

Sure can anon! I hope you like this

Yan!Dimitri x Caring!reader

Pre-TS

Let's just say, as a fellow Blue Lions student, he saved you during a mission.

Immediately you started to feel like you owed him a favour. Even though he said he's just looking out for his fellow student, and in a way, his citizen. So you decided to become sorta like his unofficial retainer. Kinda like Dedue but without the fighting.

You started to notice how he is tense all the time. So you started to ask everyday how is he doing. It's a simple and small gesture but he's glad that someone cares for him. Especially when that someone is you.

Whenever he had his headaches, you would fetch him some remedy from Professor Manuela and when the whole Flame Emperor thing happened you were there to listen to him.

Were it not for you, those voices in his head would've made him go insane so early. With all of the things he went through, your presence felt like a saving grace from the Goddess.

Felix, knowing how unhinged he is, warns you to not get too close to the boar prince. You brushed it off as Felix being rude as usual but that was your mistake.

You've became one of the people Dimitri care about. With everyone that he has lost, he can't even bear the thought of losing you. He wants to be with you. Or to be clearer, he's a fool in love for you.

But one day he hear Sylvain talking to you during training. He was ready to belittle Sylvain for disturbing you during time when he shouldn't but he can't help but eavesdrop a bit.

"So, (Y/N), you and your highness?"

"What? Sylvain, no! I only see him as a friend...."

"Then why are you so caring for him? Making sure he's okay and everything....Come on there has to be something."

"Because he saved my life and I intend to return the favour Sylvain! It's the least I can do."

Hearing this made him quite sad. You only saw him as a friend. A friend that saved your life. He wanted to be more than that! He wanted to be the one you love and cherish. To be the one by your side for as long as time allows it. Because you're the only one who can tame this beastful thoughts of his.

But he's not easily deterred. He will not give up until he has you. He will do whatever he can. He'll slowly spend more time with you, guilt tripping you a bit in the process. You wouldn't want to abandon him, right? Do you not feel grateful for the time he saved you?

He's even more protective of you in the battle. Dedue has been at his side but now he also has you. You try your best to help him and in turn he tries harder to protect you. Quite easy with his inhuman strength. Your kind-caring heart is no place for such a morbid atmosphere.

Your fellow Blue Lions are.....quite amused at his blatant crush. They'll try to tell you (Except Felix, he's the only correct one telling you to keep your distance) that he clearly has a thing for you but your answer remains the same, you only saw him as a friend. But soon enough, he'll change your mind.

"Thank you for staying by my side. I can't possibly imagine a life without you."

Post-TS below (Azure Moon spoilers)

Ah, this is where things gets more awry. With his sanity barely intact and the war going ablaze across Fódlan, he can't help but descend further. One of the thing that was still pounding some sense into him into staying alive was the fact you were possibly still out there. He won't believe you're dead until he saw your own rotting corpse.

But as the 5 years slowly goes by he can't help but think you're dead. Because he wasn't there for you. Too weak. Too late. Your voice haunts him. In his sleepless nights he kept muttering apologies to the ones that was dead, especially to you.

"Where were you Dimitri?"

"My path ended....because of her...

you know what you must do, don't you?"

"Avenge my death.....spill Edelgard's blood."

"Of course (Y/N), anything....for you...my beloved."

After the resurface of Professor Byleth he was hellbent on making Edelgard pay for your 'death'. Even if it's the last thing he does. But it all changed when all of his classmates reunited. He felt his dead heart twitch at the sight of you. Alive and well.

After disposing of the vermins that plagued the monastery, suffice to say he was quite scared to meet you again. He's a monster covered in blood but you were still ever the same caring person you were once was.

But you approached him anyway, worried about his well-being. He wanted to tell you to go away but he seems to be unable to say it. The words was stuck in his throat. He missed your benevolence so much.

He allowed you to continue as normal. Bringing him food, checking in on him. Honestly, Professor Byleth was grateful to have you around. The man won't budge at all from his sulkings but he seems to listen to you a bit. Even managing to drag him to the dining hall sometimes.

Back then he's afraid of showing his ruthless side but now he's basically putting it on display. His enemies crushed. Your assailants obliterated. He wanted to show you that he was capable of protecting you. Of course you were quite shocked at the display of his monstrous strength but it was war. And yet you can't help but feel sorry for the enemies who were unfortunate enough to cross his path.

But with time he slowly started to heal. After the death of Rodrigue, he becomes less bloodthirsty. Even more so with the return of Dedue (unless you didn't do the Duscur Paralogue). After finally taking down Edelgard, he can finally confess. And he won't take a no.

Courting after gruelling war isn't really the best time so he'll take it slow. Until the moment when he confessed, you will have no other choice but to accept. Even if you deny it.

You still saw him as a friend until today? What about those memories of you fighting together? The moments where you cared for him and when he protected you? Please just love him.

You better not love anyone else because they will end up dead somewhere. If you still reject, albeit with a different reason, he will still try.

Oh, it's because he's a royalty and you're a commoner? Fret not he's the King of Faerghus now, YOUR king. The people can't disobey him now.

Hm? You're from a small noble house? Then perfect! None will ask why he wants to marry you, it'll go smoothly.

Aside from that, the amount of PEER PRESSURE of people telling that you two does look good together is also one of the factor. Can't you see the king is in love with you? Surely you don't want to break his poor heart! He's been through a lot you know.

In the end, no matter what, you will end up marrying him. But he won't let you out of the castle ground at all. He's afraid that something might happen to you. At least you can still enjoy a fresh breath of air in the gardens even if there was some handpicked guards watching you.

You were his everything. You were his fuel to live on. He's not the very best with affection but he loved to hold you close to him. It gave him some reassurance that he didn't fail to save you. The Goddess gave him a second chance and he swore not to failed it.

"I'm glad you're here with me, my beloved."

HNK Chapter 82 unfiltered thoughts: The fall of ‘Phos’

Wow... so little happened in this chapter in terms of story but a lot in terms of character development, or maybe character degeneration to some of us? I wish the chapter was a bit longer but I’ll take what I can get. I apologize that this post won’t be as nicely organized as I would've wanted but ... oh well. I’ll most likely come back to edit certain parts but I just wanted to give me thoughts on this new short chapter. If anyone has any thoughts or comments of their own, I’d love to hear them!

Phos’s degeneration

Honestly, I’m not surprised that Phos’s mindset has been warped to this degree. After everything that he had done and gone through for the sake of his fellow gems, whether they be good, bad, or seriously questionable actions, it was only a matter of time for him to see them as his enemies. After the previous chapter, I don’t think anyone is surprised that he is now showing a degree of hostility towards the earth gems. But what was interesting is that this mentality isn’t just towards the earth gems, but it’s towards the Moon gems as well.

Anyone notice how during the whole chapter, Phos only spoke to Aechmea? He didn’t acknowledge or speak to Goshe, who had just rescued him, at all. In fact, he didn’t directly acknowledge the other gems, as well as Barbata and Cicada. And how during his proclamation about turning the gems into dust, his alloy arms were not only trapping the other gems but were also pointing sharp points at them? Maybe it was just me but it looked like Phos was ready destroy them right then and there.

I think it’s clear, though: Phos is so DONE WITH EVERYTHING. 

In his broken, warped mind... all of the gems are now nothing more than an obstacle that needs to be eradicated. He’s no longer thinking about their safety or happiness, which was one of his main reasons for going down this risky path in the first place. 

Part of me desperately does hope that Phos was saying all of these things was the result of a “spur of the moment” thought process or moment of hysteria like when he was forcing Adamant to pray and really REALLY hopes he doesn’t truly mean it but... after everything that has happened, who knows?

Man... look at our poor "hero.”  What has become of him?

Phos became this...because he wanted to find the truth of this world, to find a purpose for his existence and the others.. and this was what he gets. Now he’s just a shell of his former self, driven by pure, irrational emotions (kinda like Rutile in my opinion but that’s different) and needs to be brought to his senses before he really does anything he’d regret. 

Now, I’m not going to condemn anyone (except maybe Aechmea) for all of this because I believe all the characters are morally grey and no one is truly right or wrong, especially Phos. But still, what a sad fate to witness.

Our dear Phos is gone, in so many ways. But will it stay this way?

What happens next?

Too many possibilities for where this story will go... Ms. Haruka Ichikawa continues to prove how hard it is to predict her stories and it’s both nerve-wrecking and entertaining.

I’m sure that most readers are sad to see our poor broken hero get crushed once again, but maybe it’s for the best? As ‘fun’ as it is to see Phos go feral, I don’t know how the story would progress if Phos stayed in that state for too long.

Though it makes me wonder about Aechmea’s plans for Phos, since he is going to alter Phos’ memories of the past 200 years. Wouldn’t it be somewhat beneficial to have Phos retain his broken mental state since it did almost get Adamant to pray? Maybe to him, Phos was a lose cannon and would have caused more harm to his plans if he stayed feral? Or maybe he is going use this trauma to his advantage and have Phos stay feral but more controllable? I don’t know but why do I have the feeling that altering the memories won’t yield the result Aechmea wants... At least I hope so.

But if it is somehow successful, what will become of Phos afterwards? Will Phos regain some sanity after he mind is altered? Will he still have the desire to have his fellow gems destroyed? Will Phos still be ‘Phos’ after losing even more of their original body? So many ‘will’ questions that may or may not be answered for probably a good while.

Edit: In addition to this, this chapter continues to show how f*cked up Aechmea is, for it is likely that not only will he have Barbarta alter Phos’s memories, he’ll also likely alter Phos’s personality even more to be more obedient and docile and less of a problem... Kinda like Cairngorm ... OOoh I hate Aechmea so much. He’s nothing but bad news and I hope this doesn’t happen.

What about the other gems?

For the moon gems, in my eyes, they’re in an interesting position. After what they’ve just witnessed, how will they treat Phos from here on out?  Will my previous predictions regarding Cairn or the other gems telling Phos about the nature of the prayer somehow happen? Will the moon gems do ANYTHING to progress the story?? I honestly have no clue at this point. Maybe I’m putting too much faith in the moon gems but part of me still has hope for them, especially Cairn. 

(Edit: Honestly though, they might actually do nothing after Phos is brought back... Maybe poor Yellow will actually talk to Phos but the others....I don’t know. As much as I want them to be proactive, they probably won’t be. Sigh...)

Speaking of Yellow, I noticed that he wasn’t among the other moon gems in this chapter and I’m really glad he wasn’t there. I don’t think he could handle seeing Phos in his broken state nor do I think Yellow would handle the whole “turn all of the gems into dust” proclamation very well. 

Someone believes that the next chapter may focus on the earth gems and I hope this is true. No doubt that after what they witnessed, their view of Phos is still not good but now that Padparadscha is there, will they try to wake him up and get info from him? Will they talk to Adamant about what happened? How will they move forward from this point on? (And where the heck is Cinnabar??)

And will the Admirabilis play a part of this story again? It’s been a while since we’ve seen them and since it’s been over 200 years, there should be new generations of them now. Maybe they will be the ones who’ll help Phos somehow?

I don’t know how to end this post other than saying... Hopefully we’ll get more in the next chapter. Happy suffering, everyone. Until next time.

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 6 - Heaven’s Feel Route (2/2)

Day 11-16 Aww, Illya was so sweet and thoughtful to wake up early and help suppress the pain on Shirou (from Archer’s arm) while he was asleep. I found it really cute how Shirou nonchalantly asked Sakura if it was all right for Illya to stay in the house forever, and that since she’s his partner and this is her home as well, he thought he should ask her for her permission and opinion. Sakura blushing was adorable haha. I loved how awkward it was when Sakura and Rin made lunch together, but I loved how Shirou gave Sakura the courage to call Rin “nee-san”, so that now they can finally kinda chase back the times they lost as sisters. I find it hilarious how Shirou always says unexpected things to Rider and it makes her put her guard down lol, he’s like her weakness since she can never keep up her cold exterior for long when it comes to him. It’s so cute how Rider was self conscious about her height haha. Shirou is right though, Rider is so tall and beautiful, it totally suits her. I also really liked how Rider seemed to appreciate Shirou going all the way to the shed just to give her his morning greetings (even though it was afternoon lol), it was funny when he admitted that he forgot about her until now lol, because I totally did too.

I feel like Shirou and Sakura don’t get to talk about much (aside from cooking and blushing at each other lol), so I’m kinda glad they got to have a little talk about how even though she and Rin weren’t really “allowed” to interact, Rin would still greet her at school and watch her practice at the Archery club. And it’s nice to see that Sakura appreciated her doing that. Lol at Sakura being subtly ruthless about Shirou being crappy at magic🤣 She’s probably right about Shirou being the “strongest” out of them three though, I think his pure determination and will is something that cannot be matched. Not sure what Sakura was talking about, but does that mean Shirou actually only has 7 days to adjust to Archer’s arm or he’ll die? Aaaand, no I don’t feel sorry for the piece of shit Shinji lol. I can understand why he’s the way he is, and sure you can blame the grandfather and his own father for raising him to be like that, but honestly he was a shit from the beginning. He always thought he was special and great because of their family origins even though he didn’t have magic circuits, but he always treated Sakura like trash and a servant because he was happy that he “was better” than her, that he was learning magic and she wasn’t. So when he realised that he was the actual trash that wasn’t the successor, and his grandfather and father stopped pretending to be nice to him, he just outright hated Sakura even more because she’s the actual special one, and she’s apologising to him for taking his place that was never his. He hates being pitied as trash and that’s probably why he hates Sakura, but really, even if Sakura wasn’t there, that place never would have been his either way. And he’s treated Sakura so badly her whole life, I honestly don’t care about him and never will. He’s so entitled and is like the epitome of everything I hate in a person, I would never feel anything for him tbh. I’m so glad Shirou took care of her right.

Umm, I hope Shirou isn’t being controlled or whatever and is doing some of those killings at night… Or maybe he’s just losing his memories due to the effects from Sakura draining his magical energy? I feel for Sakura though, she can tell that she’s slowly losing her mind but she doesn’t want to lose Shirou to anyone and wants to be beside him as much as she can because she loves him more than anything else. It’s just heartbreaking that he’s the thing that’s giving her some sanity but at the same time, his existence is causing her to want to destroy everything in their way so that she can keep their life together. I’m starting to think that Sakura might be a yandere and kill Illya and Rin to keep Shirou to herself though, very worrying… And is she turning Shirou into a sex craving monster?? Loll. Like, just as she needs to do it for magical energy, will it in turn consume Shirou to the point that he’s going to die if he doesn’t do it with Sakura or something?? It was saddening when Illya told Shirou that it was impossible for them to live together forever, because they both don’t have long to live… It’s also pretty saddening to see how much Shirou wants to ignore the fact that everywhere the shadow lingered, it smells and reminds him of Sakura. I guess that’s understandable though. Initially, they believed that since Sakura hadn’t killed anyone yet, she could be saved and should be saved. But if he were to realise that the shadow is actually Sakura, he’ll have to accept that Sakura has killed lots of people, numerous people, and she continues to kill people as long as she exists and there’s nothing that can really stop her. Not only will he then have to accept that he must kill her to stop her, he will also have to accept that it was because of his decision to save her instead of kill her back then that has caused all these people to suffer and die. How many people can really accept such a thing? I feel like Shirou’s gonna break at this rate… On the other hand, Sakura’s already broken lol. I guess by getting hurt by Gilgamesh and then swallowing him whole she’s finally realised that these “nightmares” of a monster walking around town was really just her going on a feeding spree. Not sure if she can accept it though, since she only seems to focus on the fact that for the first time, Shirou asked to have sex with her and not the other way around, so she thinks that she has to do anything she can to preserve and protect the life she has right now. By allowing her to live this long, Shirou has only caused Sakura to become more greedy and desire him more, and that’s probably facilitating her desire to need to “eat more” and never feeling satisfied, because in the end, what she wants is Shirou, and she needs to survive as long as she can to experience this happiness as long as she can…

I was wondering when Rin being fond of Shirou due to her seeing him high jumping would be relevant, and OF COURSE it would be heard by Sakura to further agitate her and think that Rin is stealing everything from her, whether it be the “good life” she could have had or the guy she likes the most. Not to mention Rin is telling Shirou that if it comes to it, she won’t hesitate to kill Sakura and told Shirou to think about that too, so yeah… Honestly though, at this rate, I feel like Rin dying might be the only way for Shirou to “wake up” and force himself to realise that he can’t let Sakura stay like this any longer. Or I guess killing Illya would also cause the same effect. Zouken took the broken fragments of the holy grail from the last war and embedded it into Sakura??? I’m surprised there was anything left that could really be put into someone but okay… I guess that’s why the shadow exists to “collect souls”, since it’s basically the holy grail that wants to complete itself by consuming souls? I’m not sure what Zouken wants by telling Shirou to kill Sakura before she becomes even more berserk? Is it because she’s not the holy grail he wants now, so it’s best to get rid of her? But anyway, I guess it’s making more sense now as to why Sakura is losing her human functions such as not being able to move etc, since she consumed so many Servants, and the more she consumes, the more she’ll need to use her functions to maintain them rather than to maintain herself as a human. She is losing herself at a rapid rate and there’s no way to really save her… It was kinda sweet to see Shirou being happy that Illya was fine and would still be able to retain herself as Illya even if she consumed Rider and Assassin as the holy grail. Or maybe Zouken is trying to get Shirou to kill Sakura just to get her to be even more out of control lol.

Honestly, when Shirou wasn’t able to kill Sakura, rather than resolve, I felt apathy and acceptance. Apathy towards Sakura killing so many people, and acceptance of the fact that protecting Sakura means betraying all his beliefs and his whole reason for living all this time. It felt like he accepted that there was no going back after this, and I guess Sakura felt that, because she laments about how her weakness is causing Shirou to break and be in pain for every step he takes in protecting her. Although I do blame Sakura for causing Shirou to have to make such difficult decisions and break himself over it physically and mentally, I was really happy when she forced herself to stay awake and not sleep, so that the shadow couldn’t go around feeding like the “nightmares’ she always had. I was also happy when she used her last Command Spell to order Rider to protect Shirou until the end. Even though Sakura is the cause of all Shirou’s problems, I can see why Shirou is willing to sacrifice everything for her. The fact that she can remain so pure and thoughtful despite her experiences is somewhat of a blessing, and honestly the problems she causes are out of her hands most of the time and is all because of Zouken, so I can understand why Shirou would be so adamant on saving her when the world has always been so unfair to her. Well, I guess I’m not surprised that this "impurity” within the holy grail is what “created” the black shadow and it’s now practically consumed Sakura enough for them to be like “one”. But her sanity restricts it, so as long as she’s Sakura, she can still restrain it~ but that thing that will be “born” from her with the collection of all those souls the shadow is eating sounds dangerous… Hmm how interesting that in order to save Sakura, the only way is for her to completely become the holy grail, and then for Shirou to use the power of the holy grail to eliminate the crappy stuff inside her while she’s still sane for those few seconds or whatever.

I have to say, seeing Sakura desperately want to protect the secret that Shinji was raping her all this time from Shirou was pretty saddening. Saddening that it was what ended up breaking her sanity and forced her to numb herself to the fact that she had killed her brother, and that killing someone could be so easy, as long as she wanted it, she would have the power to kill them. It was saddening to see that happen. As expected, Zouken wanted Shirou to break Sakura by betraying her, and in the end although Shinji was the one who pushed her into it, her love for Shirou contributed to it. Honestly, seeing Illya sitting down on the porch thinking about whether Sakura would come first to kill her/take her as the holy grail or whether Shirou would come and take her away with him was saddening. She’s accepted her fate that she’ll die no matter what, but I’m sure she really wants to spend whatever time she can with Shirou instead. On the other hand, I’m pretty disappointed in Sakura, understandable but still disappointed, because from her talk with Rin, you can tell she’s still her, she’s just allowing her negative emotions and thoughts overtake her and it’s honestly disappointing to see, mainly because all I can think about is that Shirou sacrificed himself for “this”, he sacrificed everything he was to help her and yet the one that isn’t helping her the most is Sakura herself. Although I kinda feel that she’s doing all this so that Shirou can be thoroughly disappointed in her and “give up” on her and kill her to prevent any more innocent people from dying, but still, I’m annoyed at her always being the one to give up when Shirou never gave up. I know she thinks it’s too painful to see Shirou compromise his morals and beliefs for her, but at the same time, now that he’s already done it, I really wanted them to power through it together to find a way to save her instead of resorting to this. Nice reassurance to have Rider save Shirou from herself though~ it’s kinda funny that even though Illya is the “youngest”, she’s probably the most mature and understanding one (despite how childish she can be when she’s with Shirou lol), she knows and accepts what her role is and is not one to falter against it. Illya’s farewell to Shirou was pretty heartbreaking.

I loved their interactions when Shirou reunited with Illya at the castle. Shirou’s pure desire to save Illya from all this even if it’ll end badly was honestly touching, mainly because Illya is obviously trying her best to do all the risky stuff so Shirou doesn’t need to, but seeing Shirou come to save her from it was just sweet. Illya’s smile is definitely worth it, and if I have to be honest, I much prefer and enjoy Shirou and Illya’s relationship in this route than with Sakura lol. LOL at Illya and Kotomine thinking Shirou was insane for jumping from the third floor of the castle without magic (although he did strengthen his feet) even though he just followed them because he didn’t want to fall behind haha. Although I knew Kotomine isn’t one to really sacrifice himself, I didn’t expect that his teachings of God was something that could kill Zouken. Now that I think about it, I think one of the reasons why I like Saber, Rin and Illya more than Sakura is because I feel like despite how logical they are, they would always prioritise protecting Shirou even at the expense of themselves, and that’s something you see in Sakura at times but I feel like most of the time it’s Shirou who does that instead.

I liked Shirou’s fight with Berserker, it was pretty cool how he was able to take off the cloth on Archer’s arm and project Berserker’s own weapon and fend him off, obviously it wasn’t possible for Shirou to really win, but it was Berserker’s hesitation in hurting Illya that allowed Shirou to actually win though. I’m surprised that Kotomine actually had a wife and child in the past because he wanted to experiment whether he could love another person, and she even killed herself to try and prove to him through her death that he loved her. Honestly, even though he thinks he didn’t love her, I think in a certain sense, he actually did, not necessarily romantically, but I think through her, he was able to understand that although he enjoyed seeing them when they suffered, he stopped experiments like these after her death. Regardless of what he truly feels, I think a part of him wasn’t interested in seeing such a thing happen again, and in a way I guess that was his kindness and love after dealing with her death? Or maybe I’m just thinking too much haha. Although, I do believe so, mainly because when you watch Fate/Zero, when he saw how devoted Maiya and Irisviel were towards Kiritsugu, I think aside from his hatred of Kiritsugu having everything he wanted (emotions etc) yet discarding them for saving humanity, it also reminded him of this wife he once had that possessed the same undying devotion to him as they did for Kiritsugu. I think even though he didn’t really “feel it”, he was touched by it in his own way. White hair Sakura looks all right, but yeah honestly, Kotomine is right, this “evil personality” of Sakura’s is really just herself. She just can’t accept that she has such dark thoughts and hates everyone so she tries to make it as if all these disgusting parts of her aren’t actually a part of her, when really, they’ve been a part of her all this time. It really shows how pitiful she is and how saddening her life is though. She’s been wanting to keep herself “pure” and kind so as to be good enough for Shirou, but really, Shirou would embrace her darkness if she allowed him to.

Ohhh so the thing Sakura is “giving birth” to is the eighth class of the Holy Grail War that the Einzberns broke the rules to summon and tainted the Holy Grail… Hmmm, I knew that since the Servants just get absorbed back into the grail when they die it didn’t really matter whether the Masters fought and died or whatever, but I didn’t realise that everything about the war is actually done to achieve this immortality miracle called Heaven’s Feel, which is some sort of sorcery (something that cannot be achieved with magic) that is the ultimate goal of every magus, and I guess that’s why Tohsaka’s dad was so intent on winning the war previously. And I guess we can see why Zouken wanted to achieve this so much, since Heaven’s Feel elevates the soul to a higher dimension and allows them to still influence the physical world, so I guess basically he’ll be like some kind of god or being that won’t die, but would still be able to stay in this world as a “human”. And hmmm I see, the Great Holy Grail is the magic circle that uses the land administrated by the Tohsaka family and it is with the combination of this and the Holy Grail by the Einzberns that they can use the absorbed spirits and everything to open a hole to the land where they can get unlimited magical energy. The story of the anti-hero Angra Mainyu where he was used as a sacrifice in a small village to be viewed and tortured as the epitome of all sins and evil in this world in order to create the impression that everyone else must be good because he embodies all evil already was just ugh. Not that it’s not believable, just…bland and unnecessary imo. And this embodiment of evil is the shadow of Sakura wanting to kill all humans because that’s what his role is I guess.

Initially, when Shirou took Rin’s pendant with him to hold onto whenever he felt like he would lose consciousness, I thought it was just his way of thinking about the person who saved him and getting some motivation from that, but now that he’s talking about it with Rin without realising what it actually is anymore (due to the side effects of using projection with Archer’s arm, which leads to him being unable to retain a lot of memories), it might actually be because Shirou is being influenced by Archer’s memories and emotions as well. Archer really cherishes that pendant alongside Rin, and seeing Shirou cherish it so really made it touching. Even if Archer is gone and only his arm is here, Rin remains the most important person in his memories. I’ve been waiting for Rider to do something again, so I’m happy that she’s cooperating with Shirou because she understands that Shirou’s goal has never changed, he will be on Sakura’s side until the very end, just like she is. Honestly though, Tiger Dojo 38 was pretty cool, you get to see Saber and Shirou face off against each other and Shirou actually wins! Well, he sacrifices his life to keep Saber there and allow Rin to go save Sakura, and we don’t know what really happens, but I think it was nice to see that Shirou was able to fight so vigorously and win. I thought it was really sweet how Shirou went around the house before the last battle and was able to recall all those precious daily memories of Sakura and how important she is to him in his daily life. Even if his memories are foggy and even if he is in pain, Sakura drives him on and renews his resolve for saving her. Even if he’s forgotten everything, he won’t forget her and I think that’s really heartwarming.

Ooh so Zouken’s main body is still alive, I was wondering how anticlimactic it would be if Kotomine really killed him in the forest lol. I think it’s more fitting for Sakura to be the one to kill him, especially since he’s the one who tortured her all these years and is still doing the same thing right now. Honestly, Zouken’s end was pretty cliche, but it was pretty satisfying to see Sakura squish him like the worm he was. To think that the worm inside of her was his real body though. I’m glad he’s done though, Zouken was a pretty boring villain tbh. Tiger Dojo 40 was pretty saddening! Like, I can so imagine Shirou not being ruthless enough to kill Saber even though he has the chance, but his kindness ending up leading to Rin’s death is so real and sad. Rin deserves better!🥺 I love how in the Tiger Dojo, they tell Saber fans to give up on getting a good ending for Saber in this route because there’s none, and that if they want one, they need to go to Saber’s route hahahah. Time to do the normal ending first! I really felt the pain and grief when Shirou stabbed Saber though. It was honestly heartbreaking to see all his memories with her flash, and see how in order to save Sakura, he needed to harden his heart and sacrifice others that he could not save. He chose the path of killing others to save Sakura, and he killed someone that was once so faithful to him. I guess one of the reasons why I don’t like Sakura as a villain is because in a sense even though she’s not as disgusting as Shinji, she’s similar to him in the sense that everything she does is as if she’s throwing a tantrum. Throwing a tantrum that she’s the only one suffering, that no one cares about her and that everyone is living a good life when she has to suffer. And just like Shinji, she doesn’t really use her brain to fight, she just uses whatever powers she has accumulated through her hatred to deal pain on all the people around her until she satisfied, it’s just that she can never be satisfied.. Honestly, I feel like the way Rin is towards Sakura throughout this route has felt rather…awkward and a bit unlike her imo, but I guess maybe it’s because of how awkward her relationship with Sakura is. The only obvious thing was that at this point, even though Rin excelled against Sakura in battle experience and brain in using the gem sword against her etc (which I’m honestly surprised that Sakura’s use of magic is limited by her weakness as a mage even though she has an inexhaustible amount), with Sakura crying at how painful her life had been, and with how much Shirou had all this time shown to Rin his resolve to save Sakura, it was expected that Rin wouldn’t be able to kill her. It’s just terrible that it took Rin to die for Sakura to realise that everything she wanted was already there, she just allowed her negative feelings to take over her.

Honestly, I felt rather dissatisfied with the normal ending. Using a projection of Caster’s Noble Phantasm to break Sakura’s contact with Angra Mainyu was nice and interesting though, didn’t really think it would work that way for this too. Anyway, my dissatisfaction! Maybe it’s because it played out as expected with Shirou sacrificing his life to save Sakura, or maybe it’s because I was dissatisfied at how Sakura chose to live her life after Shirou sacrificed his for hers. I think it’s probably the latter tbh. I just keep thinking about everything that happened across the 16 days, about everything that happened between Sakura and Shirou, about how difficult it was for him to give up himself to save her, about how much he loved her and gave her his everything, and yet what happened in the end? She spent her life protecting his house and wallowing in their past memories! Like, yes it’s romantic in a sense, and it totally suits Sakura’s personality to do that, but it killed me! I feel like Sakura’s love is just so “blind” that it fails to grasp what Shirou wanted for her. He wanted her to live a life of freedom, and a life of happiness with others like her sister. But instead of achieving that, Sakura just felt estranged by something new (instead of her past, it’s now Shirou), guilt at being the one who survived and feeling like she needed to stay in his house and isolate herself. Honestly, it felt so much like a bad ending lol. I guess as Rider said, Sakura needs Shirou to be there with her in order to really live, but seriously I’m still annoyed though, because it felt like such a waste. I understand that Sakura isn’t someone that can stand up by herself or be supported by anyone aside from Shirou, but sigh, such a waste. I felt like if she at least tried to fulfill things Shirou wanted to do with his life or what he wanted to do with her after saving her etc, it would have been much nicer. Sigh.

Ooh so for the true ending, Kotomine is there trying to protect Angra Mainyu. Before this, I didn’t really understand why he wanted it to come into being, but after his talk with Shirou, it’s understandable. Kotomine has at a certain point onwards always thought that it’s because he had a defect from birth that caused him to become a person that can only live happily by seeing people in pain and in grief. But what if he’s wrong? And I think that’s what he wants to explore. What if all along he was blaming it on something outside of his control, but really it actually was within his control? And I think that’s what he wants to see from this birth. When it’s born, will it have the emotions to understand what it has done all this time (killing people) and grieve over it or laugh at it, making it “evil” because it can differentiate between good and evil. Or will it instead just continue to be what it is not knowing emotions, and thus unable to be “evil” because it doesn’t understand what evil really is and only does what it has been born to do? I mean, it’s crazy for Kotomine to give it a chance to live and kill people, but it is something to be curious about haha. Honestly Zouken still being alive was so suitable for the worm that he is, but I really didn’t care for him finally coming to terms that he had to accept the Makiri line ended with him because he was lacking rather than because the land wasn’t suitable for them, and that living was more painful than death anyway. Like, at this point, he better be dead! Lol. I’m so sad. I honestly didn’t want to see Illya have to be the one to die instead of Shirou, but I know that if Shirou died, Illya probably wouldn’t be able to have the same happiness she has now anyway, but still!😭 Oh wow, Rider in casual clothes is certainly different lol, still beautiful though. Hmmmm so even though Shirou’s body died, Illya was able to use the Third Sorcery to revive Shirou’s soul and give him a body free of wounds, so even though that body isn’t really Shirou, it is Shirou since it’s his soul, so basically he’s just in a new form but he’s who he is haha. Although the ending felt lacklustre, it was really nice to see a more mature and beautiful Sakura and Rin, they look so good!!

However, I find it difficult to describe my feelings when I think about Heaven’s Feel overall. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either, and I personally think it’s due to the lack of emotions I felt towards Sakura. In terms of the story, like others have said, it is the “darker” route, but in all honesty, I felt like that was it all it was. A lot of the route involves building up Sakura as an unconscious killer that isn’t redeemable, yet Shirou chooses to sacrifice everything for her, which is all right, because I really felt his feelings of love and resolve, but that was only in the first half. In the second half, I felt the story was lacking, and even the emotions it rode on was lacking, the only thing that wasn’t too disappointing would be the fights, but since the first half is literally just Sakura eating everyone, there aren’t that many fights to begin with, but at least they weren’t as frustrating as the fights with Caster in UBW lol. Anyway, I really wanted to relate to Shirou’s strong determination towards saving Sakura, but I couldn’t. Sakura felt so much like a two dimensional character to me that I just couldn’t relate to how much he loved her and was willing to sacrifice for her, and unfortunately since the whole route is focused on that, the ending and everything didn’t move me at all, I felt so apathetic. I honestly felt more for Illya than Sakura. I feel like Sakura’s route wanted to show something like bitter happiness with Shirou’s physical and mental sacrifice of his whole being for her, but it’s hard to relate when Sakura isn’t worth it lol. I’m sorry, Sakura. 

I also think the thing with Angra Mainyu and the Great Holy Grail etc was boring and unnecessary. But I do acknowledge that Sakura was never meant to be a great villain or last boss kinda thing since it has always shown that this was all caused by her immense suffering and negative feelings that couldn’t be controlled, she’s really just a nice girl. But that made it boring imo. I related to her desire for an ordinary happiness, but I got a bit tired of relating to her needing everyone to die or suffer for it. Heaven’s Feel just really didn’t have the same relatable pain that Saber and Rin’s routes brought out within me even though their respective routes had their own problems. But I guess that’s what stories are like, none of them are flawless, but if they affect you, then they’re usually good, and I could very assuredly tell you that the Fate and UBW routes portrayed the goals of their routes very well, but HF didn’t. I also think HF is lacking because it doesn’t build up Shirou’s thoughts and emotions as well as the other routes too. In HF, he’s constantly losing his memories due to Archer’s arm etc so all he really does is recall his past with Sakura in the first half which can be nice and emotional in itself but it’s repetitive and bland because they’re just flashbacks lacking depth imo, and since most of the second half is Sakura kinda finding a way to die with Angra Mainyu without hurting the others, you really don’t see any more development for Sakura. So yeah, sadly, HF has more cons than pros and I can’t find it in myself to like it even though technically it seems to have less problems than the other two routes haha. Oh well.

(Throwing in my main MC with another MC made by @dat-silvers-girl , Sarahi Silvers--because why not. I might as well work on MC interacting with other MCs because, well, I’ve seen others do so and thought it was an interesting concept to toy with. And I might as well work on this so I could properly throw a special occasion when it comes. So well, yeah. I’m going to stop rambling now because I have no idea what I’m writing.

I think some of the stuff will deviate from what she already has in mind, since I don’t know many MCs’ backstories, so don’t get offended!)

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I thought you wanted to stop Rakepick, too.

It bugged me. Those words just...bugged me. I couldn’t explain it, but something about Merula’s words just ticked me off to the point where I could just walk up to her and punch her in the face.

Yes, I remembered how Rakepick hurt us. I remembered the ultimate stab in the back that brought us to battle against her, wounds still wide open and gushing with blood leaving us with only so little strength to stand. I remembered her final declaration, the declaration of ultimate war, that made me wish I never put my trust in her. I remembered the promise I told my little sister--to bring him back, to protect her, and make her feel at peace at Hogwarts. Or at least as peaceful as it could be.

But I didn’t want to kill her.

Murder...it was the ultimate crime anyone can commit. Done in cold blood, performed upon impulse, executed with no mercy. There were other ways to defeat the antagonist in the story, wasn’t there? I just hoped the fairy tales wouldn’t lie.

Those thoughts ran through me as I went to the training grounds to refresh my spell-casting. I might as well, anyway, if I wanted to train to fight ‘R’ at the final Cursed Vault and claim what was mine to restore peace at Hogwarts. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be there so early in the morning--yet someone was there, and without a wand, too.

I raised an eyebrow as she began to perform an intense martial-arts routine, kicking at the air and punching the same way anyone learning taekwondo would.

Truth was, I never saw her before. She was probably another face that passed in the corridors, another soul flitting past but never making a major impression in my memory. But seeing her now, her Hufflepuff robes cast off and thrown carelessly in the grass beside her, her black hair flying into her face with every pivot, her clothes muddied and marked with scrapes, made me frown. What Hufflepuff would want to meddle with violence?

“Hai!” the girl shouted, performing a well-executed roundhouse kick that swung right at my face. Instinctively, I ducked, but not before her foot made contact with my glasses, sweeping them right off my face.

“Oi!” I cried, my hand automatically raising to my nose as I knelt down to find my glasses. I was practically blind without them--well, not blind to the point where I couldn’t see anything, but blind to the point where colours blurred and shapes became indistinct. I could see the girl kneel down to help me, but I moved aside just in case she decided to punch my nose next.

“I’m so sorry!” the girl apologized, holding my glasses up the moment she found them and slipping them onto my nose. “I didn’t think anyone else would be up this early.”

“Consider me the first.” I sighed and looked up at her. “I’ve got the words of my worst rival at school drilling me to get up and train for the ultimate final battle. I don’t do this every day.”

The girl simply nodded. “I see.”

“But what about you? I don’t suppose you’d go into a fight without a wand,” I pointed out.

The girl tilted her head in confusion at first. Then her eyes widened in realization, her mouth forming a small ‘o’.

“You mean my martial arts?” she asked. “I’ve been working on that since I was younger. I train with a professional Sensei back home, too. He understands everything I’m going through--he’s almost like a father to me, from the first day of training to now.”

“Must be for some time, then,” I remarked. “Hey, at least it’s useful. You can just march up to your opponents and kick them in the face if you don’t have your wand.”

“True. But the reason I started is...more personal than that.”

She eventually rolled up the sleeve of her black cardigan. There, on her forearms, were thin red lines, none of them parallel to each other but all of them old and scabbed, almost like a bar code or sorts.

“You...wait, why?” I asked her quietly.

“Bullies,” she murmured in response, rolling her sleeve back down. A sad glimmer eventually sparked in her brown eyes. “I had friends who were Muggles, way before I started Hogwarts. But they eventually turned their backs on me when I needed them most. Then some people took the liberty of beating me up at the park I used to play in. They made me feel ashamed. And then there’s my mom.”

“Your mom...does she not understand what you’re going through?”

The girl nodded. “She was just a bully. A tyrant. She’s probably ashamed that I was even born. Doing taekwondo is the only way I can retain my sanity.”

“I understand.” My eyes trailed from the sleeve that covered her scars to the sad eyes gleaming under the sunrise, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Rakepick might have driven the knife in my back, but this girl had suffered much worse. She had gone through hell and back way before we started Hogwarts. It wasn’t right for her to just remain still about it. How could I not have thought about those who had suffered so much more than I? Perhaps I was too selfish just thinking about Jacob and my fellow friends and allies. Perhaps I was too selfish thinking about the impact my mom got when Jacob went missing.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I wish I knew.”

The girl shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, you do now. You know why I'm out here, early in the morning. But what about you? Why are you here?”

“My brother, Jacob, went to track down our past mentor,” I explained. “And a few days ago, one of my allies in the Cursed Vaults...she got hit by the Cruciatus Curse. Since then, she had a ‘kill or be killed’ mindset. I guess her words just...bugged me.”

The girl simply nodded in understanding after a bit. Silence ensued for so long after, I thought she was going to stand up and leave me alone.

But instead, she said, “You decide.”

“What?”

“You decide what’s best for you. Everyone ended up with different outcomes from the last vault, but ultimately, you create the compromise--whether your mentor goes down, or your ally screams in vengeance. But you know what’s most important, right?”

I nodded slowly. “Yes. Getting to the Cursed Vaults first before her and the cabal.”

“Focus on that. What comes after...well, no one can control it.”

“You’re right.” I nodded again and glanced at the sun rising behind her. “Guess I never really got to practice my spell-casting after all.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll have time for that, Curse-Breaker.” The girl eventually stood up and dusted her skirt before holding a hand for me to help me up. “If you want, I can help you with any physical fight you need.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. And I truly hope your enemies would wither under your strength, too.” I smiled in thanks as I accepted her hand up. “I’m Clara, by the way.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of you. I’m sure you’ll pull through with the last Cursed Vault,” the girl reassured me. “And I’m Sarahi.”

“Sarahi...what a pretty name.” I grinned as I helped her retrieve her Hufflepuff robes, handing them to her. “Hey, race you to the Great Hall? I think breakfast is finally calling our name.”

“Oh, you’re on!”

As we tore through the corridors to breakfast, whizzing past Peeves who just blew a loud raspberry, I couldn’t help but think that Sarahi was right. Ultimately what happened in the final showdown was up to me. I couldn’t change my allies’ mindsets. I could only do what I could.

And hopefully pray that everything would turn out okay...for both of us.

🖊 + all do it coward

Yelling about my OCs // ACCEPTINGRabbit, you are a fool and so am I. I’m just gonna, like… give a headcanon per OC on this blog under the cut.

Achilles - His semblance is called Disconsolate. It makes others able fully feel what he is feeling, from absolute sorrow, blind rage, to pure joy, right down to the last ounce of pain he gets from a paper cut. It can take over other people’s rational thinking processes and make them react as he would, which is often never good (and leads to his death).

Alexus - She doesn’t have any real senses, even if she says its a simulated thing, she has none. She’s a cpu program! HOWEVER, she can still smell charred flesh from when her girlfriend shocked & burned to death. It’s burned into her mind even though her mind can no longer comprehend what a sense is.

Artharrachadh - Doesn’t actually like 7/11 or gas stations, they just give off the vibe he strives for in life. The mystery, the scandals, the robberies. It’s so out in the middle of nowhere that its perfect. Although, thanks to 7/11 he developed an addiction to slushies. Cherry/blue raspberry, for our god of liminal spaces, baby!!

Cas - Her powers have limits. Without her power retaining equipment (essentially, a choker, two bracelets, and two ankles), she would have ripped herself into shreds after a few usages of her powers. Her speed could send her cells into different dimensions, her ‘pyrokinesis’ could set herself on fire since she is not impervious to fire, and if she uses her luck too much, karma returns the favor with brain bleeds.

Cephriel - As angelic as they are, they are more monstrous and demonic than they’d like to admit. They eat sinners alive for nourishment, but it is all for the holy conquest. Plus, the more souls they consume, the stronger they get. The stronger they get, the quicker they can accomplish the holy conquest.

Dolores - She really wanted to get back in touch with her son but she could never find him. She went back to LA looking for him only to find that he’d been adopted and shipped off to Germany. She felt so, so horrible. It’s her fault that he was sent off to a totally abusive household and she lives with that guilt so, so horribly.

Dominique - Has never once acted like a true criminal, more like a robin hood type figure. He doesn’t kill, he doesn’t hurt, he doesn’t do anything like that, the worst he does is steal from the rich and give to the poor. Either through charity donations or through mysterious wads of cash showing up at people’s houses. However, since he steals from the rich and not the poor, that makes him evil for the media.

Eirian - Has never been one for conflict. Avoided school drama all throughout high school (minus his tiff with Lizzie which was created by him being an idiot). Now he’s running from town to town with an eldritch being chasing after him with so many guns in the back seat of his truck its almost fucking criminal. He’s learned, so, so much combat things that it scares him. He’s practically a weapon himself.

Erik - Has the hardest time keeping the ‘we’re all monsters or demons’ secret a secret out of all of Clearfall’s citizens, and he’s the one that made the whole thing happen. Lucky for him, Corey Booker, the human reporter, is kinda dense. Unlucky for Erik, he thinks that Corey is hot shit and would gladly sell him his soul to stay in Clearfall. But, for Corey to stay in Clearfall, he’d have to be turned into either a werewolf or a vampire but he doesn’t want to do that because Erik’s both a wimp and doesn’t wanna hurt

Eva-Marie - In Hell, everyone wears the sign of how their died. People shot have their bullet wounds, knife wounds, the blood loss makes you incredibly lethargic and cold, sickness makes you permanently sick and tired, burning makes you always feel like you’re on fire, and maybe you are! But Eva-Marie doesn’t show signs of her death, or at least, not if you’re not paying attention. She has perfect posture and never lowers her head, the thick choker on her neck is blood red, sometimes she starts choking and coughing up blood. She was killed via beheading, and she takes perfect care to make sure that her head never falls off.

Fane - Has extreme commitment and attachment issues because of how many loved ones he has lost. He couldn’t save… anyone. When one of his last surviving relatives, his great great great great hella fucking great nephew, Lucas, died, he was there. Fane was teaching him how to drive and they got in an accident because Lucas couldn’t take his fucking foot off the gas because he was scared shitless and they got whacked by a semi and Fane has never, ever forgiven himself for that. Or any other of the deaths.

Florian - Is destined to become fully evil, and will thrive in that evil. He was never meant to be a florist, to live and survive off of cuddles on couches and cheap pays for a good job well done. At the end of the day, he has a strong sadistic streak that was never fulfilled as a child. Florian is all smiles and no substance on the inside, and was going to kill himself if he ever had to live another second in that flower shop doing nothing, that’s what the explosion was, an attempt to end it. Now? He’s soft and sweet on  the outside as a cover, and on the inside, he’s ready to seduce your husband and blow up your house.

Fritz - Doesn’t need to sleep and doesn’t sleep. You see, on his home planet, people move so fast that sleeping was essentially something of a social death sentence. Entire empires would rise and fall while one of them was asleep, your wife could start another family and leave you behind because you would be out cold for another millennia. SO! To bypass that, they engineered a serum that would alter their chemical makeup so they’d be constantly producing energy to replace sleep.

Henri - Does not miss being a royal. She knows that the second she gets back, she’ll be forced into an arranged marriage with a guy who a) she will never love because she is a lesbian to every degree and b) she hates anyway, the guy’s a fuckin’ douchebag to every degree. She just wants to stay in NYC with the punk rock and the grunge and the Crownweaver gig with her punk gf, Dex, and never look back.

Jack - Used to be a Team Spectre Admin. Dated Salem for years, was there when the whole team got launched under Salem’s reign. They were really, really into the whole thing too, believed that the world would be better if they could just wipe everyone’s memory clean and start over with the same people, but have everyone listen to a group ‘concerned about their health, their sanity and their well-being’. Eventually realized that it was all bullshit, all of it, shit, bullshit, and that Salem? Asshole! Shit boyfriend, shit person, shit… just shit. Left, went legit, went good.

Julia - Knows everything about you. She has no clairvoyance or telepathy or omniscience or anything like that, but she knows everything about you. She has connections, her connections have connections, she’s met practically everyone in town and if she doesn’t know everything about you when you first meet? You can be sure that she’s going to hunt down someone who at least knows something. She’s incredibly well informed, scarily well informed, and also good at social cues.

Kennedy - Killed a man in university. It was her first kill and by far, her favorite. The rush she felt, the understanding of why people murder for fun, it made her understand. She had a knife on hand, took it out of the restaurant she was eating at just beforehand and completely forgot about it, but she was glad she had it. She gutted him, top of the chest all the way down to the lower stomach, and she hanged him from a fire escape by his own intestines. He was coming onto her and she was not about that life, rest in peace, fucker.

Klaus-Michael - Has a really hard time hiding his job from his father, aka the Spider-Gold job. Yes, his father is in Germany and Klaus-Michael himself is in NYC, however, it is a requirement between the two that they have a video call once a week. He comes home after fighting off an army of bad guys with so many bruises and so many cuts and dings and busted lips and broken bones and casts and oxygen tanks that his dad should be suspicious, especially since his dad is a genius. But, Klaus-Michael always seems to have some sort of excuse tucked up his sleeve.

Liz - Finds Atlantis. She does! With help, she arrives, and, unlike the dis.ney movie, there is no one alive. Skeletons line the streets of the drowned city, the location is crumbling, and she is horrified. The haunted location gives her the creeps the second she is in there, and for good reason, because something  is watching her. Not something living, but machinery, and once it catches up to her, it brands her on her side for the rest of her life. A marking, a warning.

Lizzie - Has slight celestial heritage. Didn’t think Arhkangelskaya was chosen as her last name for a reason? It was! While she doesn’t have archangel blood per say, she has guardian angel blood, and that’s what brings her back (her ghost back) from the dead to look after Eirian’s dumb fucking ass. The guardian angel blood comes from her great grandfather who was her great grandmother’s guardian angel, ever since then, the arhkangelskayas have returned as ghosts to the person they feel needs the most help.

Lori - Is destined to die at the age of twelve. In a way, she feels invincible because who in their right mind would kill a child? She thinks, that, because she’s so young, nobody is gonna raise a finger against her when she walks in to kill them, because she thinks that they don’t think that she’s going to kill them! And then, one day, she realizes that everyone is an assassin and assassins don’t have rules, assassins just want money. And, on that day, that is when she dies.

Lukas - Is not out for anyone but himself and his town. If you die, and it’s his fault, it’s not on his conscience. He’s not here to fix your problems, even though he fixes way too many of them anyway, he’s here to get the money and go. He’s here to get enough cash to either buy enough medicine to last him and his hometown years and years and years, essentially ridding them of their poisoning, or, he is going to use that money to entice scientists to search for a cure. He’s tired of having slag course through his veins, it hurts, more than he likes to admit.

Lux -  Is not impervious to fire. If she emits it from her body, she only does so from her hands for this reason, she’s not some hum.an tor.ch lookin’ chick, she’s completely human to every regard and her powers are created by machines. She can use her powers of vibrating molecules to a frequency on objects that she is not holding that are within close range, but she can also ‘set the air on fire’ (more like oxidation). She doesn’t realise this, but its how she makes her fireballs. The palms of her hands are incredibly scarred.

Madeleine - Killed a man in self defense and nobody will ever, ever know about it. Or, at least, she hopes so. She doesn’t want anybody to find out about it, because she knows that she’d be sent to jail. Sure, it started out as self defense when the main pulled out a gun at her at semi-close range in an alley way after a case where she sent a criminal away for life and she stabbed him through the heart with her rapier. It was when she took the gun and the sword and started going overkill with panic that it became less about self defense and more like making sure that that guy would never come back. She got an old friend with connections to clean the scene.

Marque - Isn’t trying to provide chaos to provide the world with equal opportunity to rise from the ashes and anarchy as a new, better evolved race, he’s doing it so he can control Giratina and take over the Reverse World. If he takes control of the pokemon, then he is also, by default, the master of the Reverse World. If he allows other to live within the other dimension, he will become their leader by default. And, by causing chaos in Kalos, Sinnoh and the other regions, he will have more and more people wanting to move into the Reverse, gaining more and more subjects and more and more power.

Matthew - Will not be able to survive if he ever leaves the Entity’s realms. His body is emaciated beyond what should be humanly possible (not like the hag is, more like he’s 6′4″ and 90lbs) and he’s surviving based on the Entity alone. His blood is complete and utter drugs at this point and he’s fragile. He’s skeletal, but in the same way that b.ane works, the drugs kind of give him a boost? They give him the strength to keep moving, but he will die if all of them ever get out because he was only a little better than this before he got into the realms.

Myles - Is suffering from unknown internal damage thanks to the facial scar that he is unaware of. The deal with this is, the scar pushed the outer layer of metal inward and, while it hasn’t damaged any of his inner workings yet, if anything happens to his face… welp! A good hit to the cheek, falling head first, anything like that will push the sharp metal further inward and damage his internal wiring. This could potentially be fatal depending on how hard the hit is, or how many times he gets hit. He is very stunned after a good head injury.

Ollie - Is a little hypocrite His whole episode is about the importance of not doing drugs, but in itself, the episode really leans towards how ‘some drugs are good’. Big companies will gladly sponsor a tv show into corrupting the minds of children to think that certain drugs are alright to take by hiding information about them, just like the tobacco industry in the past with cigarettes. Ollie, the pill bottle filled with prescription drugs, may say that some are bad, but he himself offers the pills he contains to the members of the show, getting them addicted, like a fucking hypocrite.

Richard - Wants to move onto news reporting on television, but is held back by Thomas. Their personalities are incredibly similar thanks to the method of their creation, but Richard’s has always been a little bit louder and more personable and much, much more suited for news reporting. He’s always taken to celebrity incidents more, so he’d be suited for something like…. eta.lk or en.tertainment toni.ght. Plus, wouldn’t it be fun to report a death on tv that you caused?

Salem - Does not understand that he is in the wrong. Like, you know how some villains understand that to do some good things, you need to break a few eggs? And they deal with that guilt?? LIke uh, shit, like Negan had guilt on cheating on his wife and all that, like they can realize that they’ve done bad shit? Salem is so insecure that he projects all guilt and anger and anything wrong onto other people. World falling apart? People losing their families to memory loss? Not his fault, all yours.

Shae - Never wanted to be the hero. She’s watched too many superhero movies to see how it all turns out. Metr.oman? From Meg.amind? Yeah, she doesn’t wanna turn out like that, but she knows that she’ll burnout from all the people saving and all the heroics and that one day she might just have to kill her best friend so as sunshine-y as she is she’s always dealing with this black cloud that hangs over her head and heart and it hurts her that the world is always so in danger and she can only do so much. She wants to have a break.

Sinclair - Has never lived for himself. He only ever helps others. When Jack disappeared, he took it upon himself to defeat the Team Spectre residing within the League. He took over so that people could still experience the League even though he didn’t actually technically become the champion. After all that happens, he leaves to go help others because he has nothing else to live for, he doesn’t know what to do but help. Even as a child, he poured himself into others rather than building himself up.

The Boys - Used to travel the world to sate their hunger before fully settling in their new home, a now dead, formerly economically booming, rural town that still sees some people coming in. When they travelled, they were not known as the boys, more as The Figure, as they did not hivemind as much. It is only thanks to their new setting where they take place in the high school like to eat teenagers that they hivemind as seven different boys (the most they can manage with having separate personalities and appearances while still being connected).

Thomas - Once tried to have a family outside out of Richard without Richard knowing to see what it was like. They aren’t connected other than their purpose, so they share no hivemind, just basic personality. He soon realised that a family would not be for someone like him, as they would always die before him, leading him to fake his death so it’d make human sense. He lost track of where his descendants are now, however, he doesn’t care because he’s dependant on Richard.

Virgil - In Agents of Mayhem, Virgil becomes M. Squelette, the title gained when becoming the leader of the Ivory Skeletons. Either way, his Saints Row verse, he still was a member of that gang, but he left the gang life there to move to Stilwater and then got rescooped into it. He has a lot of Saints ink, the fleur de lis and all that shit, one on his neck, y’know. However, he has a piece of Skeletons ink that he refuses to blot out because its… really nice. Like the tattoo artist obviously worked really hard on it and as loyal as he is to the Saints, he also has a large respect for the arts so there is no way in hell he’ll blot out something so nice looking. Besides, he can just pass it off as something he got when he was drunk considering that he never talks about his time as a Skeleton to anyone.

Woodland - Learned how to ‘speak English’ thanks to the dying screams of the people she killed and ate alive. Some people would try and bargain with her, others would just string together a stream of ‘shit’s and ‘no’s. Of course, this doesn’t help when learning English, as you only learn certain words and all their connotations are fucked and disjointed. She tries her best though. Also, she doesn’t actually have a name. Woodland is just a term.

Xander - Found out that he was a god when he didn’t die when he should have. By all means, he should have died. He was in a car accident with some sorta not really friends (all his other friends were in the other car, thank gods) and all the other ones died horrifically. Someone got flung out the windshield and into a tree, someone stepped out of the crash and got hit by a passing truck, when the car caught on fire, two people were stuck inside. Only Xander lived, but he was in a hospital with wounds that should have never healed, but they did. He then got a message from his fathers telling him about his true parentage.

Hey hey hey boys, it’s that time of year.

I’ve just published my fifth book, Victorian Tales, which is available here. 

(The kindle version, which is much cheaper and more easily accessible is not ready yet. I will create a separate post later with the kindle link, since I know kindle is much most convenient for most people). 

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a dark fantasy/ paranormal dystopian author who likes writing some weird psychological thriller shit. 

Victorian Tale is the sequel series to my previous series, Memoirs of the Mausoleum, which can be found here. 

But you actually don’t need to read Gallows Humor, Shock Values, or Roman’s Numeral to understand what’s happening in Victorian Tale. 

You’ll just catch more details, and if you were a fan of Memoirs, and hallowed be thy name if you are, you’ll be happy to know that there is, and always will be, much more to the story. 

Anyway, to you newcomers who didn’t know I write novels.

Well I write novels. 

If you do decide you’re interested and take a look at it on Amazon, great. If you decide to check out the inside, even better. And if you actually buy the book, and let me know what you think, WONDERFUL.

I put a lot of effort and heart into these books and every little bit of interest helps. 

And hell, even if you don’t want to buy it, or even just check it out, then do me a solid and reblog this anyway, that way people who might be even the tiniest bit interested in reading something I’ve spent the better part of a year writing, editing, rewriting, and proofreading nonstop, can see it. 

Pls and thx, and here’s the summary: 

When a person dies in a haunted place, he or she can be resurrected by the spirits inhabiting that physical space. They become a paranormal entity with bizarre, diverse, lethal superhuman abilities based on the nature of their death. Their soul is forced to take on the burden of a person's worst memories and most awful feelings. 

Some are strong enough to rise above the inclination to cruelty and retain their sanity, morality, and what's left of their human soul; others are not. Regardless of how they choose to live with the aftermath, the end result is that they are no longer human. 

They are a new paranormal being known as a Revenant. In this world lives fifteen-year old Victoria, who by great misfortune, finds herself in a haunted space on the day of her murder. Upon awakening, she is not immediately aware of her new state of being, but the new presence in her mind, a Revenant soul named Malek, quickly makes itself known and she is thrust into a world she never wanted to be a part of. As a consequence, she also finds herself the victim of much unwanted attention, from both humans and Revenants alike. Revenants might be dangerous, but being a Revenant, and a very unwilling one at that, is much more so.

Thanks in advance for any reblogs you could give me to help me promote my books, and special, indebted thanks to anyone who’s interested at all in the series, or the previous series. Or in my original writing in general. Gives me a reason to live. And a little money for that doggy daycare I’ve been wanting to drop out of school for. 

Whispers in the Dark [Tom Riddle x Ravenclaw! Reader - Pre-Hogwarts]

♥ PROMPT ♥    Y/N L/N has a family notorious for writing school books, and this causes her to be teased and taunted mercilessly by Hogwarts students of every color. Tom, however, regards the girl with intrigue, and this leads to a relationship both passionate and consequential. ♥ A/N ♥   I wanted a new set-up for my imagines, so here I am with a different kind. Putting that aside, [3] was the winner! Sorry to fans of [5], but fortunately, that will be the next series I begin after my other two series meet an end. I’m particularly excited to get started on this series, as I’ve always been really big trash for Tom Riddle. His backstory is so intriguing and anything to do with him enraptures me. Should I be ashamed? He’s really hot as a youngster, so I’m not very ashamed. By the way, everyone, the story is told in third-person like Not Your Girlfriend is. If you all want that changed, just message my inbox! Thank you all for requesting. It makes me so happy when I see my inbox filled with requests. It gets my creative juices a’flowing. So thank you. And also, I apologise for the long wait. And let’s begin! ♥ WARNINGS ♥ Swearing, Angst, Death, Horror, Romance ♥ WORD COUNT ♥ 2312  Y/N was desperate, her head whirling as she tore and fumbled with books of varying deterioration and length. She needed to find the book with the right answer, the book that would change everything—fix everything. Was she a fool? Did looking to books for an answer to something so big and blatant—something she merely needed to ask a professor herself to receive a solidified answer—make her the world’s biggest clod? She remembered a certain quote then, one she learned when a mere toddler home-schooled in all things literature and magic—Shakespearean, filled with meaning and metaphor. “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” Was she somewhere in-between such, caught in the middle of wisdom and dolt-plagued tomfoolery? Her parents might have denied it, but Y/N wasn’t convinced. She never believed in fairytales, nor did she believe any single compliment was sincere. It was something she got from him. “Bloody hell,” she whispered, grabbing at her left temple as it began to pound at her, like a stick against one’s drum. It was like a war inside her head, with screams and groans coming from every direction. Monsters—demons of all shapes and sizes—were tearing at her mind, ripping her sanity into shreds. The books became weights, only they weren’t on her shoulders—each page-flip required every bit of stamina Y/N had left. But she needed the answers—she needed them. She didn’t care for the pain if it meant she’d come out victorious in the end. A few bumps and bruises were nothing; they were miniscular compared to the tragedy that’d befallen her all throughout her life. One book fell to the ground, then another. This one made her pause in her quest. The second was a book her own mother had written—a research book, filled to the absolute brim with history. It explained the legacy of Grindewald, it brought to attention the achievements of several Pureblood families, and it also highlighted the atmospheric beauty of Hogwarts. Nowhere did it have answers. What was the bloody point in her mother writing a book if it answered nothing but the questions that came with the pesky curiosity of an insolent youth? It was pathetically unhelpful—it gave nothing but a headache, a certain vibration that ran from each synapse to the next, bringing with it tremors of nerves. But he needed her help. He was waiting, ever-so-patiently and ever-so-kindly. And she was desperate to please him and to bring him news of success. She wouldn’t have the heart to look him in the eye and give a sad shake of the head. What was the point in a visitation when she would only be the bearer of bad news? Finally came along a book with black and violet coloring, velvet lining, and medieval font. There were apparent crucifixes aligning the front, but for some reason, the only illustration that come form inside her head was that of a serpent. Y/N could only stare at it for a moment, her eardrums giving a faint “thump, thump, thump” as both her heart and her ears became one, drilling into her a resonant, “Open it, Y/N. Open it.” She would, but only for him. She had no need for this book, so fabrication was a necessary process. Motivation was nonexistent, so for him, she’d try. She’d give herself some, even if it tore apart her comprehension and lucidity in the process. Slowly but surely, she creaked open the book. Inside was a short introduction, then a table of contents, located on the next page. Y/N nearly skimmed past, so lost in her thoughts that she was faint of observation. When she saw the list for the fifth chapter, she smiled with delight. There in bold letters, she seen the word “Immortality.” And right below, there was the word that made her both breathless and sore, a strong feeling of befuddlement setting in her intestines. “...Horcruxes…” And like the whisper of a Parseltongue hissing at a reptilian bastard, there it came… like a song, menacing and alight with fear and foreshadowing and darkness… “First comes murder, so evanescent and divine, then comes a spell, wretchedly dissolved into brine. Salt in the wounds, a fool’s dying breath leaves, ‘To those that live; retain your mask and identity.’” They’d never take them alive. Never, never, never—        

- Y/N L/N awoke with a gasp. Air felt finite when her chest both heaved and sucked for just a single breath, enough for her to retain a chance at life. The atmosphere felt hot and sticky, just like always—it was a family trait to have a house that reeked of sweat and humiliation. Her room was the least obvious, as she always casted a spell to interchange the scent, but every morning was the same. She’d awake with her throat sore and choking, then she’d breathe in the essence of her home. The home that bore so many memories, yet gave her chills down the spine whenever she entered it.

She’d been having nightmares ever since she could remember. For her, life was Hell in itself, and even in her dreams she couldn’t find solace. Everything was a cycle; life ran and repeated, much like history did, and it was all so fucking inescapable. Maybe that should have meant something to her. She was born in this house, raised in this house, taught in this house; it was a cycle, a rinse-and-repeat process that everyone in her damn family went through from their first breaths to their last. Nightmares weren’t meant to be in the cycle, and maybe that was the first sign—the first showing that Y/N was nothing like her family. Her chest was burning. She felt like Frigg, just moments before her son Balder died in her arms from a mistletoe dart. That sensation of grief surrounding your senses, of denial festering in your bones, of heartache manifesting as a persona—that was something she emphasized with, whether she wished to admit to it or not. This nightmare—it was quite unlike the others. It hurt to think about; hell, it just plain hurt. It was nothing but a figment of Y/N’s imagination; it wouldn’t hurt her. It couldn’t. It was a bloody dream; it shouldn’t have any damn power over her. Should it? Could it? Y/N kicked off her sheets and sat up in bed. She ran a hand through her Y/H/C hair, flinching at the tangles that stung with each violent tug. She kept thinking about the dream, sweat drenching her brow and her knickers. Shivers tremored up and down her back, but she couldn’t tell if they were from fear or pleasure. It was like the nightmare both excited and unnerved her. She felt the temptation to panic, but she also wanted to calmly drink in the world around her. She wanted to know what this meant. To Y/N, it appeared to be some sort of premonition. And it scared her to death to think that that might be true. A face was something she was missing. She had a book, a mysterious object called a “Horcrux,” and an apparent desperation to please someone. But a face was missing… and that was the one way to determine if this was really a nightmare… or if it was a presage for what was to come. This thought frightened her into a sleepless stupor that lasted the rest of that night. Her only regret lay in knowing that she’d be up at nine that same day to pack and head off to Platform 9 ¾. Even then, she couldn’t help herself but shake silently in bed, head clouded in fantasies of a life where she didn’t loathe her own existence and nightmares didn’t plague her sleep. That following morning, a mere four hours after her abrupt awakening, Y/N could feel the slight dusting of crust in the corners of her eyes and the stress on her brow and cheeks that caused premature wrinkles to coat her features. She hated that feeling—that horrible feeling of sleep-deprivation and weakness—but why should that have bothered her? It was a chronic feeling; there was nothing unusual about this. Nothing—nothing at all. But then, she thought about her dream. The Parseltongue, the song—the implications, the premonitions. This time, it wasn’t just fatigue weighing down her shoulders. It was fear. “Y/N, darling, the train has no use for rocks as passengers!” It was her mother, a flamboyantly-dressed, spiky-haired woman that was known to be continually-perky and full of life. She was ignorant to the things that society said behind her back. Y/N didn’t know whether to sympathize with her or find amusement in the situation. “Get up, get up! Time to dress yourself—blimey, Y/N, you look like death!” Her mother had just opened the door, and she was staring at Y/N with wide eyes, her mouth agape. The youngest of the two just scowled hard, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. It was one thing for her peers to make her feel terrible, but it was a whole other thing when her mum uttered something regarding her appearance. It stung less, but brought more to attention. Though she felt bad for it, she honestly just wished her mother would bugger off. She told her mother so. “I’d rather not have you here when doing so,” Y/N said, throwing her mother a dark look. “Can you leave?” Her mother blanched slightly, but covered it up with a smile. “Of course, darling,” she said. “We leave twenty minutes till!” Y/N rubbed a hand over her face. Standing up, she stretched her limbs and looked to a nearby mirror. Her reflection caused her to instantly look away, a frown adorning her mouth. It was time to dress, she supposed. She definitely could see why her mother was shocked by her appearance. She threw on an old shirt of her father’s, then a pair of denim jeans. A pair of trainers were slipped on her feet, partially dirty but presentable enough that Y/N shrugged off their flaws. She went about the room, cleaning up any blatant messes and taking all the objects that she knew she’d need in her 5th year of Hogwarts. Clothes, robes, books, wand, and owl—those were the basics, the barest necessities. The thought of someone controlling her plagued her, leaving her to contemplate it for a solid hour… and then her mother and father came, telling her it was time to Apparate to the platform. An expression of embarrassment was permanently set into Y/N’s features as she arrived at the fantastical platform hidden within the walls of King’s Cross Station. She looked around, eying all of her peers with an expression of reproach. Though she hated them with every fiber of her being, she hated her parents the most. They were the ones that turned into a mockery. They made her into a puppet, controlled by the whims and jeers of people that only knew her by her last name. It made her into a hateful, spoiled little girl, and she was aware—but she couldn’t help it. She was filled with an uncontrollable bubble of rage, and it was completely a part of her. She ignored the mirth-filled stares she was getting around the station and turned to look at her parents. She felt guilty for the way she was thinking about her parents, so surprising the two, she wrapped them into a hug. “I love you,” she mumbled, making a face as she pulled back. The two parents could only watch, dumbfounded, as their only child made her way to the train. Y/N was an enigma neither parent could solve or even fathom. She wasn’t the only one filled with fear at that moment. Y/N strolled her way from corridor to corridor, face pulling into a frown every time some nasty git caught her gaze. She was hardly paying attention to where she was walking until a tall body knocked directly into her, pulling her and her bag to the floor from the impact. It bleeding well hurt, and she was meaning to give the person a comment on his lack of coordination, but then she looked up and she lost all ability to talk. Tom Marvolo Riddle. Slytherin Prefect, judging by the badge, and the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. He had eyes you could get lost in, and a frown that was permanently imbedded into his mouth. He looked like he knew his way around a wand and his way around socialization—while he looked brooding, he also looked manipulative. Dark. Malevolent. Haunted. Y/N stared at him, and Tom stared at her. Y/N was the first to realize how utterly ridiculous she was being, and she quickly frowned at him. Not a scowl, no—but somewhere in between. “I’m sorry,” she said, and she couldn’t tell why she wasn’t being standoffish. “Didn’t look where I was going.” Tom quirked an eyebrow at her. His brown eyes were full of curiosity. Such a strange feeling for someone so mysterious. “It’s alright,” he said quietly. He extended a hand, and Y/N gladly took it. She tried to ignore the sparks she felt when she touched his hand. She now stood up, glancing up to Tom with a shy expression, all of a sudden. “Thank you,” she said, just as quietly. She watched as Tom quickly headed down the corridor. She was stricken. Was it fear? Attraction? Intrigue? They all felt the same to her. Maybe it was all three. “First comes murder, so evanescent and divine, then comes a spell, wretchedly dissolved into brine. Salt in the wounds, a fool’s dying breath leaves, ‘To those that live; retain your mask and identity.’” Even then, she didn’t notice her mistake.

Number 1 with UsUk?

I just want to apologise in advance. For some reason, I didn’t notice the ‘company’ part of the prompt until I was about to start writing this and then suffered some sort of mental block? I honestly think this thing is kinda... horrible but I hope it’s okay?

I’d have liked to have set it in high school... Maybe I’ll write you a version of that next year. ^.^

KeepYour Enemies Close

Arthur hated calling the IT Department.

Their publishing company was small and so there wereonly two IT guys. They did their jobs well and, by all accounts,Arthur should get on well with them, particularly since, due tobudget restraints, he had an older model of computer. It was slow andoften developed bugs of some sort. Gilbert would turn up quickly fora good gossip, cup of tea, biscuits and to actually fix the computer.

It was Alfred which made Arthur hate picking up thephone to call down for some help.

Alfred had been a part of the company before Arthur hadbeen recruited. As a prank for the new guy, something to 'welcome'them, Alfred had thought it would be funny to programme his computerto shut down within half an hour of him working. With unsavedprogress and half-written e-mails, Arthur had been panicked, sure hewas going to be fired. When Alfred had appeared to help him andlaughed at his consternation, Arthur had been furious. Theirresulting argument had gone down in history – along with everyensuing one.

Thankfully, that was the only ugly mark on Arthur'sfledgling career as a publisher.

At least, it was the only thing he disliked untilseveral months later when Christmas arrived and he found out aboutone of the peculiar traditions of the company he had joined. It wasone of the few times he wondered whether quitting would retain hissanity...

"Right, everyone," said ElizavetaHérdéváry, hands on her hips. The publishers and assistants andcleaners and that damned IT department stopped their murmurs andturned their attention to their boss. Arthur pointedly ignored Alfredas much as he could despite sensing his stares and mockingsniggering. "Alfred!" Elizaveta cried, finally getting himto shut up. "Do I need to gag you?"

"Oh, that would be interesting," Francispiped up.

Arthur slid his gaze towards him, frowning. "Ican't quite tell what you mean by that," he muttered to hiscolleague. Francis only smirked back at him.

"Now that you're all quite finished..."Elizaveta said, voice strained as she spoke through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, Liz," echoed around the room as thechatter finally stopped.

"Right," she said again. "As you allknow Christmas is coming up. And I knowyou're all working hard so we can release some of our amazingromances on the world. So, as we do every year, we're going toorganise a Christmas party."

Murmurs broke out. Feliciano seemed rather excited,chattering into Ludwig's ear. Mei was grinning at Kiku and tugging athis arm in an attempt to get him as riled up as she was. Francis wasalready musing upon what sort of food he should make for the event.And, over it all, Alfred's harsh, annoying voice rolled overeverything, though Arthur couldn't make out his words.

Arthur himself wasn't particularly bothered by it.Christmas had never been an especially good time of the year for himand the last time he'd felt perfectly content and filled withChristmas cheer had been when he still believed in Santa Claus. Allthe magic had gone from the affair and, in its absence, cynicism hadsettled. He'd efficiently bought all his Christmas presents alreadyand had nothing to do: he was absolutely fed up with the holidayalready and they were only in November.

It looked as though he was going to have to summon someenthusiasm, though. A party would be fun, if he ignored the'Christmas' part.

Elizaveta waited till the noise had died down beforespeaking again. "Since it's a large undertaking, I'm going topick two names from a hat in order to decide which two people aregoing to be organising it for us. No protests or arguments," sheadded with a stern finger. She picked up her pink, woollen hat, theone with the large flower pinned to it, which Arthur had seen herbring in and wondered about. "So, the first person to be doingthis is..." Deftly, she plucked out a folded piece of paper.Using finger and thumb, she slid the paper open and raised aneyebrow. "Alfred."

"Oh, all right!" Alfred yelled from the backof the room. "This is gonna be the biggest, bestest, mostawesomest Christmas party in the history of Christmas parties!"

"I doubt that," Arthur muttered to Francis.His friend – to use the term loosely – rolled his eyes at hisantagonism and sighed.

"Really, darling, you need to get over thisstrange hatred you have of him," he said. "It's not goodfor you."

"And," said Elizaveta over the top of themall, brow furrowed as she glared at those who were speaking, "thenext person is..." She pulled another name from the hat, set thehat down, unfolded it – and smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Arthurfelt a shiver go down his spine and felt sorry for whoever was aboutto be landed the job- "Ah, that person is Arthur."

Everyone went silent. Not a word was said. Breaths wereheld. Nobody moved. Arthur stared at Elizaveta. Then, heart hammeringin his chest, he whipped his head around to stare, wide-eyed, at anequally shocked Alfred. They stayed like that for a few secondsbefore Alfred's expression began to change, his face falling, browfurrowing. Arthur looked back to Elizaveta and gave her a pleadinglook.

"Liz..."

"Nope!" she said, cheerfully. "You twoare doing this. Maybe, this way, you can stop your silly feud. Now,I've not got much else to discuss for this meeting. Just a littlenote about..."

Arthur tuned her out, his heart sinking as he wonderedhow on Earth he was going to be able to organise something for hiscolleagues when he had to work with his worst enemy. Turning his headslightly, he caught Alfred glaring at him. He glared right back andknew, deep in his core, that the next few weeks were going to beawful.

After the meeting, with Alfred distracted by hisfellow IT guy, Arthur managed to scurry away back to his office. Oncethere and the door was closed behind him, he relaxed significantly.He liked it in here, with the various manuscripts and first editionsof books he'd help publish or ones he just liked having on hand orprevious ones in a series so he could reference them. His desk wassurrounded by filing cabinets that he kept meticulously organised aswell as the files on his computer, one which had the largest memoryof any computer he had ever worked on, despite its slow processing.Apart from the monitor and the keyboard on the little drawer beneathit, his desk consisted of a lot of pens, a tray for organising hispost and several piles of documents. At the moment, since Elizavetahad interrupted his morning work for her meeting, it was in a stateof organised chaos.

Settling in his rolling chair, he sighed and let hisshoulders droop, tugging at his shirt collar. He felt a little onedge from the added workload from the party, despite not havingstarted doing anything yet. However, he hoped that he could calmhimself down by doing the sort of work he actually enjoyed. Planningfor the party could begin after work and, he decided, it would bebest if he came up with ideas and handed them over to Alfred for himto deal with instead of having actual, physical meetings.

Drawing a manuscript towards him, Arthur had barelyremembered where he had gotten up to when the door burst open withouta knock. He didn't need to look up to know who it was and gloweredacross the room at Alfred who was scowling back at him. "What doyou want?" Arthur demanded.

"We're meant to be working together," Alfredtold him, sternly.

"Only for the party," Arthur corrected him."I'm on the clock – and so are you. Go back to your littleroom in the basement and whatever you do down there all day."

Alfred's scowl deepened. "You know fine well we'renot in the basement-"

"I don't care. Get out of my office."

Sighing, Alfred tried again. "We need to make alist of things we need to do for this party. So I'm not leaving tillwe do this." He stalked into the room and let himself drop intothe comfortable armchair that Arthur had personally brought in forauthors and other important visitors to feel relaxed in duringmeetings.

"And I refuse to talk about the Christmas partyuntil I've at least finished work today."

With that being said,he returned his attention to the manuscript, his red pen in hand ashe circled a few paragraphs about something he felt was inane to theplot. He tried not to be too conscious of Alfred's presence in theroom but he couldn't help wondering if he was going to do somethingstupid like mess up his desk to get Arthur's attention. Nervously, heshuffled his papers around a little, trying to remember what he wastrying to work on. Glancing at his computer, he realised that hehadn't booted it up since he came back from the meeting and wouldneed to in order to check his e-mails. Just as he was about to reachout to turn it on, Alfred suddenly stood, making Arthur jolt insurprise.

"Fine," said Alfred, shortly. "I'll waitfor you after work." And he strode from the room, leaving thedoor wide open.

Arthur sighed and prayed for patience.

Whoever was watching over him didn't give himany.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Arthur's temperflared frequently enough that he couldn't remember the last time hehadn't been irritated and had been content. Their first meeting tookplace in a McDonald's since Arthur couldn't shake Alfred and theother man wanted food. Arthur had never had an argument in aMcDonald's but, when they couldn't agree on a venue, Arthur had tostorm out in lieu of being thrown out.

Whenever they discussed it, they argued about everysingle detail. The venue (Alfred wanted to have it in the officewhile Arthur thought they should take it out of the workplace); themusic (Alfred wanted loud pop music while Arthur thought it would bebetter to have gentle ballads); the decorations (Arthur thought theyshould be minimalist with white being the predominant colour whileAlfred was adamant there should be more colour); the food and drink(Alfred wanted to have a huge spread while Arthur thought thereshouldn't be too much in order to keep waste down); the possibilityof gifts (Alfred wanted to do Secret Santa but Arthur had pointed outhow long it was taking them to organise the party, let alone a SecretSanta as well); the games (which Arthur didn't want to have). Everysingle time they had a difference of opinion, there was a loudargument with shouting and slamming doors. Most of their discussionshappened in the office and their colleagues were equal parts amusedand exasperated.

The day of the party drew nearer (another thingdisagreed on) and their arguments grew worse. That was because Arthurwas getting more and more fed up with the holiday. With every fight,he felt his chest hurting. Alfred's disdain and hatred was clear andhe couldn't figure out why it had only seemed to become worse. Hebegan to dread going to the office and dread talking to anyone. Hiswork began to fall behind, his efficiency dropping as he fumed orworried or fought.

Struggling, Arthur watched the calendar, counting downthe days until he'd be free...

Finally, it was upon them.

After compromising a lot, they had decided to have itin their biggest conference room. Since Alfred had insisted on aChristmas tree and other decorations, they were set to decoratestraight after work the day before the party. Arthur really justwanted to get home as soon as possible so he made sure everythingthey needed was in the conference room by four o'clock. He alsomanaged to convince Francis, Antonio and Gilbert to help him shiftthe tables out so they'd have room to work.

So, when five o'clock hit, Arthur made sure to clockout, say goodnight to all his colleagues with a weary smile andreturned to the room. Alfred was waiting for him and he sighed uponseeing Alfred's cheerful expression. It looked a little strained atthe edges.

"Huh," said Alfred. "I washalf-expecting you to bail on me."

"Why would I do that?" Arthur said, movingover to the huge box of multi-coloured baubles and streamers and Godonly knew what else. "This is my responsibility as well. I'm notgoing to duck out of it."

"Sure," Alfred muttered, sounding peeved.

"Let's just get this over with. I'll decorate thewindow and you decorate over there." Arthur gestured towards thedoor.

There was no answer but, when Arthur glanced over hisshoulder, he saw that the bespectacled blond was working on opening along box. Thankful that they wouldn't be continuing any sort ofconversation, Arthur began to unravel the tinsel and set aside thebaubles ready for the tree. They were huge monstrosities,multi-coloured, all red and green and silver and gold and white andpink, for some reason. There were also huge decals to go on the floorto ceiling windows, all of them in colour, including Santa and anativity scene. Arthur frowned at the fact that there wouldn't be anysnowflakes to stick up, except for the paper ones which would hangfrom the ceiling and make it impossible to move around the room.

He got to work, deciding to put the decals on thewindows first. They were pretty simple so he was finished with themquickly. Passing by Alfred who was struggling to get the bottom partof the fake tree connected with the rest of it, Arthur went into thehall where a step-ladder had been left for their use. Arthurwordlessly set it up in one corner and climbed up, a large, papersnowflake in one hand. He pinned it to the ceiling before climbingback down. Three of them were hanging up before he noticed just whereAlfred had placed the tree.

"What's that doing there?"Arthur demanded, gesturing at it.

"Huh?" said Alfred, looking up from where hewas hanging the baubles on the little fake branches.

"The tree. You've put it in front the window. Howare people supposed to see that ridiculous snowman you made me putup?"

"It's not ridiculous," Alfred protested,glaring at Arthur as he descended from on high. "And I wantpeople to see it as they come in."

Arthur looked around the room. The floor to ceilingwindows took up nearly the entire wall on one side of the room.Opposite it, the door was in one corner and the tree at the far endof the room. Glancing at the free corner pointedly, Arthur said, "Youdon't think they'd see it there?"

"But there's not enough impact,"Alfred insisted. "It has to be here."

"Then what was the point in the snowman?!"Arthur exclaimed, completely done with Alfred's strange determinationon what they should have at the party. All of their decisions hadcome down to the flip of a coin and Arthur had only won on the SecretSanta and games suggestions. Everything else had to be exactly asAlfred envisioned or it would 'ruin Christmas'.

"Y'know, for added Christmas cheer!"

"No!" snapped Arthur. "Move the tree!"

Alfred frowned. "No; it's perfect here."

"Don't be so stupid! Everyone will be able to seeit in that other corner," Arthur said, pointing at it.

"Why're you trying to ruin my fun?" Alfreddemanded.

"I'm not. I just think it would be best to makesure everyone will enjoy it instead of just you."

"You're just being a Scrooge! A mean, uptight,horrid... person!" declared Alfred once he'd clearly run out ofadjectives to use against him.

"Oh, look at the pot calling the kettle black!"Arthur snapped, batting aside one of the giant snowflakes that wasgetting on his nerves.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You did that horrifying prank on me on my firstday! How did you not think that was mean?"

"It was just a joke," Alfred tried to defendhimself, though he looked uncomfortable.

"You laughed in my face!" Arthur yelled, hishands now curled into fists. "And you never bothered toapologise! I don't know what you were thinking, but you quite clearlydon't want me here."

"What? No. I-"

"Don't deny it!" Arthur interrupted him,unable to stop the words tumbling from his lips. "You hate me!It's quite obvious!"

"I don't hate you!" Alfred exclaimed,eyes wide behind his glasses. "I-"

"You definitely don't like me."

"It's not as if you made yourself likeable,"Alfred said, hands raised as if to defend himself or placate Arthur.

"Well, I'm sorry that this is a job I've workedhard for. I'm sorry I desperately want to keep this job. I'm sorrythat I don't want to be fired and I'm bloody terrified that I'll dosomething to make that happen. And you walk in, with your stupid grinand your inane comments and- and- and you made me believe I couldlose this – everything – all of this- because of-" Arthurhad to stop, panting a little, to take a deep breath and get histhoughts in order.

"That's..." Alfred tried to say but Arthurcut him off.

"I love this job," he told Alfred, angerstill thrumming through him and prompting him to speak. "But Idread coming in here because of you."

Alfred seemed to freeze at that, his eyes gettingimpossibly wider. "I..."

"You don't need to make an excuse," Arthursnarled, worked up now. He could feel the pressure in his head as hefought against the tears. "I don't want to hear it!"Turning away from Alfred, he stalked away. Noting the sheer amount ofdecorations they still had to put up, Arthur slumped. There was noway he could continue working after blowing up at Alfred. He turnedback to him but, before he could say anything, he found Alfred weaklysmiling at him.

"Okay," he said. "Look. It's Christmas.You need to just relax a bit, all right? Then, in the New Year-"

"'Relax'?" said Arthur, incredulously."'Relax'?! Don't tell me to 'relax'! Do you think this is somesort of joke!"

"No! No, no, I don't, I-"

"I've had enough!" Arthur glanced up at thesnowflake he had batted at before and whacked it as hard as he could.It ripped with a horrible tearing noise, flopping on its string. Partof it fell down in pieces so that it looked as though it was actuallysnowing.

"Hey!" cried Alfred, looking at the ruineddecoration in dismay.

"Put the rest up by yourself," Arthur toldhim as he turned away from him. "I'm going home."

"What?! Arti- Arthur, c'mon. You can't – if youdon't help me, the party'll be ruined!"

"Well, just you wait till next year and I won't be'ruining' your party."

"What?!" Alfred yelped. "What, Arthur,wait! What did that mean?" Arthur paused in the doorwayand sent him a look meant to convey the implications: he imagined helooked equal parts angry, exhausted and upset. Alfred's mouth droppedopen. "No, wait, Arthur, don't-!" But Arthur turned hishead away, shook it hurriedly and rushed off before his emotions gotthe better of him.

Arthur didn't sleep that night.

At first, his anger had fuelled him through a few hoursof housework before he retired to bed. There, he'd fumed – until itfaded. It was swiftly replaced by shame and guilt and regret. He'dleft Alfred to decorate on his own. No doubt, he wouldn't be finishedby the next night. Everyone would be disappointed that their partywas a failure. Maybe they wouldn't bother next year.

The worse part, of course, had been his rant to Alfred.It wasn't his fault that Arthur had been far too stressed. Heshouldn't have shouted at him. And he definitely shouldn't haverevealed so much to the man. His worst enemy. The only person hedidn't want to know his personal thoughts and feelings.

It made him shudder.

But, the worst guilt he felt was that Elizaveta's treatto her employees had gone up in smoke. There was no way that he couldsee for them to salvage the party. However, Arthur had a thought justbefore he dropped off to sleep. There was one thing none of them weregoing to get at the party, that none of them would expect and thatmight make it up to them.

Which was why he threw his clothes on early the nextmorning, stepped into his shoes, grabbed his coat and wallet andventured out into the horror of the high street during the Christmasrush. There were a lot of people to buy for and he had to make sureall of the gifts were perfect. Especially Alfred's – it would needto stand in as Christmas present and apology.

***Later that day, around the time people would bebeginning to reach the office for the supposed party, Arthurreturned. He was absolutely exhausted from going to and from everysort of shop imaginable. His wallet was considerably lighter and hehoped he'd be able to survive until he was paid again. Then he'd hadto rush home so he could wrap everything in boxes with plain redpaper and golden ribbons. Finally finished, he'd rushed to theoffices and quietly made his way in, careful not to be noticed as heswiped his way through the floor's secure locks.

Playing at Santa – of a sort – Arthur slipped intoeach office, leaving the appropriate present to be found wheneverthey next arrived there. For Elizaveta, who kept her office lockedwith an actual key, he pinned it to the door, close enough to hername plaque that the tiny hole would hopefully not be noticeableafterwards. Mission complete, he heaved a sigh and let the tensionseep out of him, slumping a little as he made his way back to thedoor, intent on leaving. A noise from the makeshift party roomstopped him. Was Alfred in there, still trying to get it all readyfor everyone?

Cautious, eyes darting to and fro in the hope that hewouldn't be seen, Arthur sidled up to the door. He placed his hand onthe doorknob. With a deep breath, he turned the handle and slowlypushed it open, peering through it. He froze at what he saw,confused.

When he had left the night before, the majority of thedecorations had been bright and cheerful. The tree had been large andrather imposing. Wrecked, gigantic paper monstrosities hung in onecorner of the room. Boxes had covered the floor.

Now, the floor was mostly clear. A table had beenpushed against the far wall, laden with food and a punch bowl.Beneath it, hundreds of various bottles were nestled – Arthur evenspied several packets of paper cups. The windows had been stripped ofthe giant stickers that Arthur had painstakingly and smoothly put on.Instead, the windows seemed to be dusted by light snow or frost,icicles hanging down from above. Icicles also hung from the ceiling,lit up and slowly pulsing a pretty glow. A thinner, smaller tree,sprayed with snow and covered in muted coloured baubles stood in thecorner Arthur had told Alfred to put his only 24 hours before.Standing proud atop it was a golden fairy, silver wand held high.Seats were pushed against what space was left, covered in sheets andfoil and wire to make them appear as if they had been roughly carvedout of snow. Gentle, slow music flowed from a music player somewhere.Silver tinsel was draped anywhere it could be without being in theway.

And it was full of people. Francis and Elizaveta andGilbert and... Everyone. They were all there, chatting away. No-onehad drinks. Ludwig had a rectangular box under one arm. Leaningagainst his back, Feliciano had his tongue stuck out as hepainstakingly wrote out a card. Searching around the room, Arthurquickly spotted Alfred as well. He was working with Kiku, wrestlingwith a chair and a sheet.

"Urgh, Keeks, why won't this one work?" hesaid, voice carrying across the room.

"You are rushing," Kiku answered politely.

"He'll be here soon!"

"If he even-" Francis began but he glanced atthe door as he spoke and his eyes widened. "Arthur!" hecried and Alfred immediately dropped the chair onto Kiku's foot.

"Artie!" he exclaimed, spinning around.

"'Artie'?" Arthur questioned, quite unable towrap his head around what he was seeing.

"Uh. Yeah, um. You made it! Merry Christmas!"The others echoed the sentiment.

"What... What is all this?" Arthurasked, stepping into the room and noticing the concertinaed papersnowmen curving across the wall. "I thought you wanted brightcolours and... 'happiness' or whatever it was you said."

"Uh," Alfred said again, eyes drawn to thefloor. "I... I'm sorry."

"What?" said Arthur flatly, unable to quiteunderstand what was happening.

"I've been a real jerk," Alfred admittedbefore sheepishly looking up at Arthur, hand rubbing at the back ofhis head. "I'm sorry. What I did on your first day... It wasreally stupid but... I'd only wanted to make you laugh. I didn'tthink about what it would mean to you. And laughing at you. And...everything else." He stopped to take a deep breath. Then helooked up at Arthur, closing the gap between them so he could lookArthur in the eye. "I shouldn't have..." Alfred faltered."Er, what's the word. Made you feel left out?"

"Alienated," Francis informed him.

"That's it! I shouldn't have alienated you."

"None of us should've," Gilbert piped up."Al's like one of the family and... I dunno, I suppose we justnaturally took his side in a lot of stuff."

"So this is to, like, make up for that!"Alfred declared, spreading his arms wide to show off the room. "If,y'know, it can."

"This is for you," Ludwig said, stepping upbeside them. "From all of us."

"And this, too!" Feliciano exclaimed, handingover the card he'd hastily stuffed into the envelope.

Arthur looked at all of them, perplexed. Had theyreally banded together to sort out the party and welcome himproperly? What could they possibly have gotten him? Hesitant, hereached out to take the items. He opened the box first, his curiositygetting the better of him. Inside, a wide strip of metal rested. Hepulled it out – and gasped.

A. Kirkland

Publisher

"We got it engraved today," Alfred explained."It cost a lot to get it done 'cause of short notice and howbusy they were so I hadta get everyone else to pitch in and then wordgot around and... this happened." He swept his hand around theroom.

Stunned, Arthur shook his head. "You... You didn'tneed to. I mean... I've been horrible, too. I'm so sorry Alfred. Ishouldn't have-"

"Nah, it's fine. Not your fault," said Alfreddismissively, smiling at Arthur. It was a rather soft, fond smile,Arthur thought, and it was a little disconcerting that Alfred hadthat expression for him. He ducked his head, smiling himself.His heart felt warmer, happy tears blurring his vision.

"I just... thank you," Arthur said. Heclutched the present to his chest and wondered if he should tell themall about their presents. Then he decided it could be a surprise forthem. Nobody needed to know what he'd done.

"Yeah." Alfred put a friendly hand onArthur's shoulder which made him rather embarrassed, unused to thissort of attention. "Merry Christmas, Artie. And welcome to EroCup Publishing."

I was honestly gonna have them under mistletoe at the end there and have to kiss (but a chaste one) but I thought that was a bit much...

Part 2 of dementor Yata and prisoner Fushimi au where munakata solves everything and they live happily ever after pls it was too sad

Continuation ofthis ask, I will never turn down a happy ending. So say Yata andFushimi have been together for about six months or so, Fushimi is inpoor health but is still managing to hang onto his sanity whileYata’s retained the majority of his personality and has yet to fullyturn into a dementor. They both know that it’s only a matter of timethough, Fushimi’s been having increasing difficulty keeping hisconsciousness firmly rooted in the here and now, having constantflashbacks to his shitty childhood that he ends up locked in andYata’s unable to shake him out of it. Yata meanwhile has started tochange little by little, his bright hair is fading and his skin’sgotten pale and he finds himself less and less able to focus on thefeelings of others around him. The only thing that’s keeping himanchored to himself is Fushimi – Yata knows that if he turnsinto a full dementor that will leave Fushimi alone and he’s terrifiedof what could happen without him around, like what if Fushimi triedto escape somehow and Yata himself had to give Fushimi the dementor’skiss and kill him and even if Yata wouldn’t know what he was doing bythen Fushimi still would (for his part Fushimi’s started thinking itwouldn’t be so bad to die by Yata’s kiss, it’s not like he’s gaininganything by living and if he has to go he’d rather Misaki take hissoul away than let anyone else have it).

In the middle ofthis despair Yata gets a letter from the ministry of magic tellinghim that someone will be coming to the island not as a prisoner butas a researcher. Yata’s super confused by that because what idiotcomes to Azkaban of his own free will, like the minute this personmeets Yata or any of the other dementors he’ll probably go crazy andYata will have to lock him up anyway. A couple days later a singlerowboat appears off in the distance, the dementors guarding theperimeter hang back and allow it to pass. As the boat gets closerYata can see that it’s propelling itself and the figure inside isbusy reading a book by the light of a glowing lamp. The man initiallysteps ashore and introduces himself as Munakata Reisi, a prominentscholar of magical creatures who has always wanted to studydementors. Yata doesn’t see the point of that kind of research, sinceit’s likely to get this ‘Munakata’ killed and anyway it’s not likeYata’s going to be able to talk to him much longer anyway once heturns. Munakata gives Yata a shrewd look and pulls out a sheet ofpaper, it turns out to be Yata’s confidential file from the ministry.Munakata explains that he’s not just here to study dementors he’shere to study obscurials, to see if the process that turnsthem into dementors can be reversed. And the reason he’s come hereespecially is for none other than Yata himself; Munakata hasresearched the dementor phenomenon for years and in that time he’slearned something interesting: most obscurials turn into fulldementors over the course of about four months. Yata is now the onlyknown dementor who still had even a fragment of personality left bythe end of six months, and Munakata wants to find out why.

So for the next fewweeks Munakata does the impossible and stays at Azkaban as a guestrather than a prisoner. He does visit the prison and in that time hemeets Fushimi, Fushimi recognizes Munakata’s name as being from aprominent pure blood family and immediately distrusts him. Munakatafinds Fushimi intriguing too, seeing as he’s a prisoner who hasn’tgone mad yet and even offers Fushimi a bit of news, that Fushimi Nikiwas found dead in an alley two months prior and is no longer able tohurt Fushimi. Of course this also means the likelihood of provingFushimi’s innocence is lower now that the real culprit is dead  butMunakata doesn’t believe that is impossible either. Munakata alsoobserves the way Yata and Fushimi interact, how they talk and howYata takes care of Fushimi and Fushimi clicks his tongue and refusesto eat moldy food, Munakata even sees Yata taking care of Fushimi alittle one day when he falls ill, something Munakata’s never seen adementor do for a prisoner before. That’s when Munakata realizes it,that the thing keeping Yata human isn’t some bloodline protection orexceedingly strong will, as he’d initially theorized, but simply thepower of love, that even as the darkness of his soul eats away at himYata can’t help reaching out to Fushimi, helping Fushimi, and thatYata’s influence in turn has kept Fushimi sane. So Munakata decidesall he needs to do is find a way to harness that feeling and then hemay be able to return Yata to normal.

In the end I’mthinking it goes all Beauty and the Beast style, Yata starts changinginto a full dementor while Fushimi and Munakata are there andMunakata notes that it was Fushimi who kept Yata-kun tethered to thisearth and in that case only Fushimi can stop the change. Fushimimeanwhile just assumes that of course he’s going to lose Yata becausehe loses everything, there’s nothing a person like him can do to evensave Misaki. But with a push from Munakata he ends up just grabbingYata and kissing him and that’s what causes Yata’s powers to abruptlyeven out and Yata’s able to turn back into maybe not quite a normalhuman but not a dementor anymore either, he becomes like some kind of'reverse dementor’ who brings out positive memories for those aroundhim: when Fushimi nears Yata he suddenly remembers the time Yata fedhim when he was sick and all the times Yata’s taken care of him andhe feels this strange hot feeling in his chest ('I believe that iscalled happiness,’ Munakata helpfully informs him). Munakatameanwhile is able to get Fushimi declared innocent and released fromjail. Together Yata and Fushimi leave the island, able to staytogether for as long as they want to, carrying their bad memorieswith them but no longer chained to them, and able to finally makegood memories in the future.

Red Explained

Abilities Umbrakenesis: She can manipulate the shadows to her will however this ability has a tendency of triggering her rot Rot: She can manipulate and cause decay to anything she touches, however she can lose control of her rot easily and slip into a feral state Black Magic: She can preform spells of dark/black magic with massive effects. This is very limited as she drains her energy fast Nightmare/Fear Manipulation: She can locate and trace anyone's fear/nightmare and force people to have hallucinations of said fear/nightmare. Forms Nightmare Form: In this state, she becomes a very cold, heartless and cruel creature. Almost completly boneless and having no lower skeleton, it can float and lay flat on the ground with only it's head and partial upper body sitting up. It can float in midair and it has an aura colder than ice. It has no feelings at all. When it wants to, it'll exude out a black mist from under its hollow body and trail it out and kill using its prey's fear against said prey. Whenever Red slips into this form, she has no gender at all and barely responds to her name. Feral State: When Red goes feral, she is the most unstable. She cannot control her rot or other Abilities. Her main focus in this state is to eliminate all who stand in her way. In this form, Eldritch is at the forefront of her mind, therefore making her more likely to have spinal cracking Somnun: Whenever Somnun takes over, he becomes the main presence, meaning Red has very little concious idea of what is going on. Somnun takes over her mind and body, changing her gender and apperance entirely. While in this state, Red is in the subconscious of her mind and is the most stable Explanation of her Personalities/ What She Is When Red aka Riley was around 3 years of age, she met the being known as Eldritch. He befriended the vulnerable and gullible little girl and when she was 5, she still was alone. So, Eldritch offered to give her a 'gift'. This 'gift' turned out to be him merging their souls and auras together. With this being done, Eldritch in effect gave himself to her. He needed a vessel since he himself doesn't have a physical form he can maintain for long periods of time, hence Red becoming a halfling. Around the age of 11 years old, Red found out about his true intentions of using her as a conduit for his powers to spread his rot. Once she reaches a certain limit of power, she shuts down and Eldritch is able to take over her body. Red keeps this from happening, though, by retaining a childlike mind-set and attitude. However, when she is angered, this is hard for her to keep up. Therefore it is dangerous not only for others, but for herself as well, when she gets angered or upset. Her control slips and she can slide into a feral state and that is when Eldritch's appearance is most noticeable. It is rare for Red to go feral. One of her triggers to becoming feral is when she sees/hears abuse taking place, because she herself knows what it's like to go through abuse even though she never had an abusive home life. She is constantly abused by Eldritch, however. Because of this, abuse is a very serious and sometimes even dangerous topic to talk about around Red. One wrong word and she's gone feral. It is difficult for her to come out of her feral state without some type of assistance. So, in effect, Red is a vessel for Eldritch. At the age of 15, Red escaped the mental hospital she was committed to when she was 11. At this point, Red had lost almost half of her body weight since she cannot eat anything aside from raw meat. As she was left in the asylum, her sanity slowly was eaten away from the feeling of unending loneliness, even though she has Eldritch. As she aged, she slowly started to hear the sounds of static. At 13, she started having dreams of Slenderman. By the age of 14, she was near complete insanity. One night, after her 15th birthday, she was able to escape the asylum with the help of Slenderman. However, when she escaped she injured herself almost fatally. Slenderman took pity upon her and he made her drink his blood, turning her into a halfling. Ever since then, she's had the ability of teleportation and her oil colored tentacles. Since she has slender blood in her now, she can teleport and, if she focuses hard enough, she can use telepathy. Her tentacles act like eyes for her, but she can't see color. (See the blog I made for how she sees) Red can use her tentacles as a weapon if needed but normally will only use them for sight and as a method of moving fast (normally used for when she doesn't want to or can't teleport) by wrapping the appendages around a tree branch and swinging from branch to branch. Even though she is a slender hybrid, she isn't as strong as one would think but she does have exceptional endurance and agility. Her intellectual abilities are higher than that of a normal human but it's not in the range as a full fledged slender. While she is a halfling, she still retains a lot of her human characteristics...such as she gets sick easily and she has a tendency to think with her emotions and not her head. Her slender side is the most stable part of her and therefore one of the two reasons why she isn't insane. Not too much is known about Somnun's goals for Red. From what others have observed of their interacting, they believe that Somnun is a Balancer for Red's instability that Eldritch causes. No one knows EXACTLY how Red and Somnun came to be bonded, but all that is known is that Red found an old pendant when she was 17. As it was cracking, Red had picked it up and then she blacked out. When Slenderman found her, a large creature was hovering over her. It's skin was blacker than night and it had blood red eyes. When it saw Slenderman, it flooded into Red before he could do anything. When Red awoke the next morning, she had no memory of what had taken place. A few years passed and Somnun waited silently in her mind. One night, she lost control of Eldritch and Somnun was able to make a physical contact with Red. When this happened, he was able to take over her body and mind, therfore pushing her concious mind down so he could gain control over Eldritch. Once Eldritch was subdued, Somnun relased his hold upon Red and she was back in control. Ever since then, whenever Red can feel her control over Eldritch slip, Somnun will either be at the forefront of her mind and soothe her from her mind or he will take over her body, changing her gender and personality entirely until he senses that Eldritch has given up on trying to take over. At this point, Somnun will retreat and Red is pushed forward. It has yet to be revealed what Somnun wants from Red but for now, he seems content with residing with Red and keeping Eldritch at bay. Now for the blood lust. Red has a tendency to slip into a trance like state where all she wants to see is nothing but blood. She only gets to this point whenever her hunger has gotten to be too much to bear. The scent of blood alone is enough to trigger her to slip into blood lust when her hunger has gotten too severe. Red tries to keep the blood lust away but she hates to eat because she hates harming things that have done nothing wrong to her. Whenever she is in blood lust, she becomes feral and very primal and will attack anything within her radius without stopping. Once her blood lust and hunger is sated, she returns back to her normal, child like state with no memory of what happened.