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thoughtsboutlife · 2 months

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jesus christ is a raisin.

explaination:

jesus is able to turn water into wine.

wine is made from grapes.

raisins are dried grapes.

google search: how are raisins made from grapes?

answer: grapes are 80% water so it takes time to turn them into raisins. The weather needs to be hot and dry. This takes 3 to 4 days, turning them frequently.

google search: how much water is in the human body?

answer: while the average percentage of water in a person's body is around 60%, the percentage can vary from roughly 45–75%.

jesus christ dried then rose again on the 3rd day.

therefore...

jesus christ is a raisin.

p.s. this means jesus christ started out as a grape then became a raisin.

#high thoughts #easter #trans day of visibility #transgender #funny #this is a joke #my sister said it first then i mathed it out and it makes sense #jesus christ #“im the jesus from every jesus joke. the one without a god.”#makes sense #is it not true #jesus is trans #confirmed? i believe it #feeling silly #im high #it makes sense #thoughts about life #thoughtsaboutlife

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jessepinwheel · 5 months

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I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

#maybe the true eldritch horror is the shrimp we met along the way

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chongoblog · 4 months

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Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

#based on a true story #im cooking more which is super cool

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correctopinionhaver · 4 months

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#humans #true but many take it too far #top

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rslashrats · 8 months

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i hate that this is on “bad two sentence horror” because its actually good

#its also true

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savaralyn2 · 5 months

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Dungeon Meshi - Happy New Year 2024!

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #translation #laios #marcille #falin #laios has got the true deranged energy #ryoko kui

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loathsome-sickness · 5 months

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"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

#am i arguing with random 'philosophical' type villains in my own head?#yes #it's a favourite past time of mine i hate every one of those 'i know the true nature of humans because i did horrible things to them' types #with every part of my soul

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 27 days

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License to Kitty.

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #marcille donato #chilchuk tims #I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!

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wasabi-gumdrop · 2 months

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local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect!#there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

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lizardsfromspace · 27 days

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The best resolution to a missing persons case ever was that developmentally disabled person who walked off in 1986 saying he "wanted to be a cowboy in Texas", starting a twenty-one year search for him on the assumption he died somewhere in the desert or was murdered, only for everyone to discover that he had spent those decades working as a cowboy on a ranch in Texas. Missing persons investigators rarely consider that maybe they achieved their dreams

#incredible #true crime

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troythecatfish · 26 days

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filiseverus · 11 months

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The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.

#barbie movie #barbie #feminism #ken #ken doll #i’m just ken #my writing #true story #ryan gosling #barbie dolls #greta gerwig #margot robbie #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #if you ever find a Ken doll wrapped in toilet paper that’s mine sorry

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leavemebetosleep · 5 months

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when I was a kid for some reason I thought Lola Bunny's last name was "Rabbit" and that she was actually Jessica and Roger's daughter. And the reason she wasn't in the original Loony Tunes is just that she wasn't born yet