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anincompletelist · 3 months

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[ vol i | vol ii | vol iii | vol iv | vol v ]

firstprince fic recs: hurt/comfort edition! :D

some of these have more angst than others before the comfort, so please be sure to check the tags! but I tried to choose some of my personal favorites that I always return to when I need something comforting to read <3

as always, please remember to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed the fic or show support in other ways, and be kind! mind the tags and if you come across something you dislike, please kindly (and quietly) move on.

talk me down | seafloor | G | 2k

It never gets easier, but with Alex, it’s less exhausting. [Henry gets triggered, and Alex is there for him.]

Mr. Body Pillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™. Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

the clementine thing | @saintlynomenclature | T+ | 6k

And, really, it doesn’t matter whether or not Alex explains it to Liam and the rest of his friends. They’ve never really discussed it between themselves through the years. Slowly, Alex had gone from asking Would you please peel this for me? to Please? to silently extending the citrus without any comment at all, just a soft smile. It’s one of the things that make them Alex-and-Henry; the silent conversations and the contentment in each other’s company. Now, as Alex starts to flourish through his position on the lacrosse team, his slew of AP classes, and his role in student government, getting him to slow down at all is a feat. The only way that Henry can do it, guaranteed, is by one of those innocuous little fruits. There’s nothing Alex can’t do—surely, he could peel a fucking orange if he felt so inclined—but Henry delights in being able to do this for him. [Five times Henry shares a clementine with Alex, and one time Alex returns the favor]

sea of endless hope | acastle | E | 85k

Henry watches Alex, the man he adores and loves so ardently, and the moment is palpable, delicate, and yet too large for even the sky to contain. He watches Alex, and in that moment, he wants to be his husband, the ache and urge of it almost unbearable. “Daddy!” Nena takes Henry’s hands, and he looks down at her, the angel who had saved him, and he smiles at her, quiet with emotion, letting her lead him into place. He would follow her, follow Alex, anywhere. (Henry, Alex, and their daughter, and the first years of coming home, forever.)

you can see it with the lights out | weathersriley | G | 3k

Alex thinks of the water. Of feeling like he might never reach the surface, might never reach Henry. But Henry is here; Alex remembers falling asleep in the glow of his presence, and beneath his shaking fingers, Henry’s chest is warm and his heart is beating steadily and Henry is here. Alex is afraid, but Henry is here.

I ask you how you're doing (and I let you lie) | @matherines | M | 6k

The first time Henry sees it happen, he knows instantly that it is not the first time it has ever happened. They’re sitting in the living room of the brownstone, the two of them surrounded by their favorite people in the world, a night of board games long abandoned in favor of mocking the eighth season of Game of Thrones. “God, don’t you have an off switch?” June groans, laughing as she chucks a piece of popcorn in Alex’s direction while he rambles passionately about the international legal implications of the Red Wedding. Nora cackles. “Whatever you do to thank Henry for putting up with you, it’s not nearly enough. Jesus, I can’t believe he put a ring on your loud mouth.” [Or: Alex is fine. Really, he’s fine — he just wants Henry to stay, even if Alex is too much. Henry just wants his husband back.]

Aftercare | @whimsymanaged | M | 2k

When Alex has an intense hookup without aftercare, he finds himself on his best friend Henry’s doorstep in desperate need of looking after.

Dream a Little Dream of Me | @affectionatelyrs | T+ | 9k

They’re no longer in the garden. There’s no grass, no flowers, no fireflies. Only stars—hundreds upon hundreds of them in an otherwise vast sea of darkness, dazzling and twinkling and here. “How—” “They came here for you,” Alex says, his voice light. “It’s what you desired. So, I asked them to come and shine. Just for you.” “But won’t the world need them?” Alex shrugs and simply says, “You need them more.” [Or, Five times Alex visits Henry in his dreams during his dark days, and one time he does so in the real world (and stays)]

Burnt Offering | justicefortheJ14magazine | G | 9k

Alex’s hair care routine is elaborate, he struggles to let Henry help him, and he learns some important things about receiving love through service. [A look at FirstPrince’s love through each love language: Acts of Service]

I would stay forever (if you say don't go) | @coffeecatsme | T+ | 6k

The words echo in his head, unbidden. The words from another life, practically another universe, shoved inside the small walls of a gilded cage, hidden in a room in London with shuttered windows and locked doors. A boy’s voice Henry still remembers ten years later, when he doesn’t quite remember what he had for lunch the day before. A boy’s voice on a phone that understood him better than every member of his family, even an ocean, a continent, three thousand miles away. A boy’s voice that told him in no uncertain terms that it was okay if he wasn’t okay, that allowed him to pave a path until he was. To open a new shelter in New York City, Henry needs to interview a host of potential lawyers to hire. He doesn't expect one of them to be the boy that saved his life ten years ago.

Don't Give Up Your Ghost | @nocoastposts | G | 1k

Healing is not linear. When Henry first heard this phrase, he brushed it off as a cliche. An evergreen proverb for those who didn’t know what else to say. As his anger morphed into crippling sadness, he began to understand the sentiment. Henry never knows when the grief will become all-consuming. A perfectly fine day can shatter instantly, with no preamble or warning given. The most trivial things - a scent, a laugh, a song - can utterly and completely devour him. Learning to accept the ebb and flow was not easy. He knows that the dark days will never cease completely. He also knows that Alex will brave the storm with him, time and time again. Henry is eternally grateful for this. [Or, Henry reflects on some common platitudes of grief - then and now.]

outta luck to spend | potentiallyunloveable | T+ | 9k

“Nora ignorin’ ya?” a voice says from beside him, and Henry startles, turns to his left, is suddenly frozen. The man who’s slid into the seat next to him, silently, without Henry noticing, is quite possibly the most beautiful man Henry’s ever seen in his life. He’s got the widest smile, sweet dimples, soft brown skin and impossibly long eyelashes. He’s wearing a fucking Stetson, and Henry feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him. Or: Henry (lost, hopeless) meets Alex (bright, hopeful), in a bar in Texas.

thunderstruck | @wordsofhoneydew | T+ | 2k

“Alex, slow down.” Henry pulls away softly from Alex’s taut grasp. “Are you feeling alright now?” “Y-yeah, I think I’m okay.” Alex smiles back meekly at Henry’s heedful gaze. Alex feels like he has gotten way ahead of himself. “I'm just a huge astraphobic, ever since I was little. I guess I never grew out of it.” [or, Alex has a fear of thunder so Henry comforts him]

fell apart (in the usual way) | @hypnostheory | E | 12k

By the time they’ve reached the landing, Henry is shaking his arm out of Alex’s grip. “The picture of grace under fire,” he says, the words snapping from his mouth. Alex blinks at him, before his face smooths into its professional mask. “You can’t pick a fight with the Queen’s equerry, no matter how averse you are to the concept of the monarchy.” Alex looks Henry up at down, his mouth forming a tight line. “I don’t pick fights, Your Majesty,” he says, adjusting his grip on Henry’s suitcase. Henry can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. “Shaan called me a few weeks ago to go over every single thing that made you miserable about the holidays. It was a very long phone call.” Henry doesn’t doubt that. “I’m going to help you avoid as many of those items as possible.” [Henry is a mess around the holidays, and he's expecting to have a tremendously horrid time without Shaan. Fortunately, Alex has plans to make his Christmas both merry and bright.]

ocean waves | seafloor | E | 10k

Henry Fox wakes up with a toothache one morning, and has a lot of feelings about certain things for days afterwards.

I'd hold you as the water rushes in | @saintlynomenclature | M | 11k

“—lex. Alex.” Fuck. Where had his mind gone? Alex snaps his eyes to Henry’s, forcing his attention back from where it had drifted. “I’m listening, I’m listening. What were you saying?” Anyone else would probably be offended, or would just laugh at the clearly conflicting statements that had flown thoughtlessly out of his mouth. Instead, Henry’s brow crinkles, lips downturning as he scans Alex’s face. “Are you alright? You’ve been acting strange all night.” Those blue eyes are much easier to deal with through FaceTime. Alex has to look away from them, less he caves and spills everything to Henry. He pastes a smile on, “Fantastic, Your Highness. All this bubbly is going to my head, the sugar’ll get me in the morning.” [Or, Alex drops on New Year's Eve]

never be so polite (you forget your power) | Standinginmoonlight | M | 6k

The one where Arthur Fox leaves letters for his children.

while you were sleeping (I fell in love) | @kill8a | M | 3k

As their relationship progresses, Alex notices that Henry’s sleeping habits start to progress as well. Notably, more naps, less insomnia, and a knack for falling asleep at any hour of the day.

that's all for now!

hurt/comfort is one of my all time favorite tropes, so feel free to rec me some if they aren't on this list, or to reach out with ideas for other rec lists in the future! <3

-- sarah / anincompletelist xx

#fic recs #my fic recs #rwrb #firstprince #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic recs #red white and royal blue fanfic #Alex x Henry

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w1ldthoughts · 9 months

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The Forgotten One Chapter Ten: Love that Grows

Series Masterlist

A/n: The grand finale!! Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, reblogging and liking. This story had been so much fun to write but to share it with you all has been even better. Enjoy this final chapter and let me know your thoughts! As always, I love you all…you make my heart smile.

When you woke up, everything was white and smelled sterile. It was a real deja vu moment…you were in the hospital. You tried to stretch but the IV in your arm kind of restricted your desired movements. Cleo was in the chair next to your bed, typing away on her laptop until she heard your not-so-subtle movements.

“Well hey, sleepyhead. Top of the morning.” She tips her nonexistent cap at you. “Before you ask, I’ll just give you the rundown. You fainted from being overwhelmed and dehydrated so they gave you an IV but other than that you’re fine.”

“And where—where’s”

“Jack?” She finishes for you. “He drove you here and stayed with you until they told him that you were absolutely fine…repeatedly. But he had a meeting with some people that flew in from Europe so I forced him to leave.

You smiled to yourself at the thought of him being physically pushed out of the room because he wanted to stay with you. And then you were hit with the reality of what happened last night and you suddenly really needed to be at home.

“C, you have to get me out of here. There’s something I have to do. It’s really important.”

You spent the rest of the day going through your laptop, rehashing all of your memories and somewhat laughing at yourself at the thought of everything that happened the last few months. Some of it felt like a movie, a super dramatic Lifetime special, the ones that usually ended in someone getting murdered. You thought about Ben and Quinn and how a very small, but maybe big part of you still wanted revenge, even though the only real crime committed was lying and people got away with much worse every single day. The thought of having to put you and Jack through that entire ordeal seemed like a waste of time and the best course of action really was just putting it all behind you and looking into the future.

Every page of your computer diary was printed out, and you condensed them as you started writing. By the time you looked up from your task, it was dark outside and you needed to head to Churchill Downs, silently praying that Jack would still be in his office. You met Sadie on the elevator and she willingly helped you with your plan which was probably the most shocking thing to happen to you this year.

She knocked on Jack’s office door and handed him a letter, “this is for you, and so are all of those.” Sadie nodded to the trail of papers leading to the elevator with a bright smile on her face. “Good night Mr. Harlow, enjoy your night.”

“Thank—thank you Sadie. You um, have a good night.”

He read over the first note a hundred times before moving on to the next one.

Jack, I remember waking up…on our fourth anniversary and having you beg me not to go to work. The day was long and I couldn’t focus on anything but seeing you. I’m so glad that your face was the last thing I saw that day.

He would never ever forget that day. Everything started off so perfect and it turned into the worst moments of his entire existence. His worst fears had come true and there were so many times that he relived it, thinking he was alone. But you were starting to remember. He took a deep breath and picked up the next note.

I remember the look of pure joy on your face when I opened my eyes, like when you get the gift you’ve written on every wishlist for Christmas and I just made all your dreams come true. Little did I know that you were actually mine.

If there was one thing that had remained constant throughout all of this, was the fact that he would always be yours. Even when you begged him to forget it ever happened…part of him was always going to belong to you.

I remember the many nights we spent opening up about our daily struggles, simply putting one foot in front of the other and hoping that one day life would just go back to normal. But even when things were hard and the days were dark, you still managed to bring so much light into my life.

There was one night, after you’d moved out that he called at 4am. You were half asleep and disoriented but immediately woke up at the sound of his shaky voice. You ended up watching an entire season of Never Have I Ever on Teleparty. Jack wished that night had lasted forever.

I remember being a blank page, that you filled with so many happy memories that I wasn’t ready for. But you never gave up on me, you just loved me through it.

The first time he saw you, he was awestruck. On your first date, he knew he’d fall in love. The first time he told you he loved you, he envisioned spending the rest of his life with you. When I asked Cleo to help me design the perfect ring, he continued the many ideas in his head and the endless possibilities that the two of you would explore together. And then the unthinkable happened and he had no idea what to do and the odds were pretty stacked against him when he found out you had lost the entirety of the relationship you had. But losing your memory doesn’t mean the love that you shared was lost, and if he could just love you hard enough…you both would be just fine. Maybe even more than fine.

I remember our not so happy days too. The ones where we yelled at each other and left in tears. But the bad days, the sad ones just make the good moments that much more enjoyable. I want all my moments with you, the good ones, the bad ones and everything in between.

He thought that those days would break him. But then his mom gave him a reality check and gave him a new sense of hope. And that was enough to keep him going. Love doesn’t just fall out of the sky, it takes work. And he only wanted to do that work if it was with you.

Go to the 13th floor to find the rest.

Jack’s grin took over every muscle of his face as he happily trotted to the elevator and hit the button on the 13th floor, immediately met with another note on the ground.

I remember running away, looking for solace in something—someone that seemed to make life so simple. I’ve now come to realize that I don’t want simple. And I damn sure don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking for pieces of you in every man that I meet for all of eternity.

The thought of you, walking around hopelessly looking for someone that could take his place and being wildly unsuccessful admittedly stroked his ego a bit, but confirmed his fleeting belief that you could eventually find your way back to each other.

I remember finding myself on this wild goose chase trying to prove your innocence because deep down, I knew you’d never do anything to hurt me. No matter what we’d been through. So I dug deep to find out what really happened.

Quinn. The night that he met her haunted him for months. How could he ever betray you like that and be so careless? Had he really let it get that far? And when he found out that Quinn was pregnant it was like another gut punch. Everywhere he looked, there was another obstacle, another sign from the universe that maybe things wouldn’t work out in his favor. And just when he thought you’d fully given up, there was still a fire within you that burned only for him.

I remember shutting off my brain and some of my memories came flooding back with a rush. It was overwhelming and concerning and…fucking electrifying. Seeing almost the entirety of this beautiful life we shared and knowing that there was so much more life to live—and there’s nothing more that I want than to live it with you.

The closer he got to your office, which is where he knew he’d end up, the more nervous he got. And the more excited. And hopeful. And his body couldn’t move fast enough to get to you.

There are so many things that I should’ve told you. So many apologies to give and so little time to give them. But I’m willing to try.

“Any road—all the roads I take lead me back to you eventually.” You begin, as he appeared in front of you and stood in the doorway. Quickly closing the distance between you, you stared into his blue eyes, twirling a few curly strands of his hair in between your fingers. “No matter how many detours or accidents happened on that road, I found my way back. And I hope I always will. Because you are my final destination and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re it for me too.”

“Jack, I love you so much it hurts. It creates an actual ache in my bones and makes me do things I never thought I would do like a super cheesy love note trail across floors. You’re everything I could ever want and I—”

“I love you too. Always have, always will.” Jack whispers, leaning in to kiss your cheek. You pulled him down to your level as your lips connected and he cupped your face.

There it was. The fireworks, the butterflies, the—everything. And Jack had told you that a true love’s kiss wouldn’t magically fix everything. Good thing you had the rest of your life to prove him wrong.

Taglist

@jackharloww

@killatravtramp

@middlechild404

@harlowcomehome

@itsyagirljaz

@iknowdatsrightbih

@earthtoharlow

@alimaythings

@rosie-posie08

@heavyhitterheaux

@hoodharlow

@jackiehollanderr

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow au #jack harlow angst #jackman thomas harlow

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attherowndtable · 1 year

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Bluebird Reading List

Well, I've shuffled off from twitter and what better first post than to bring the reading list with me?

But who is Bluebird?

Harper Row AKA Bluebird is a member of the Batfamily. She grew up in The Narrows, Gotham City's poorest neighbourhood, with a deadbeat criminal absentee father, a hardworking loving mother and the cutest baby brother she could ever hope for. After Batman saved the lives of her and her brother, Cullen, from a homophobic hate crime, she endeavoured to become Batman's partner, offering her gift of mechanical engineering to his services by improving his CCTV scramblers. After some pushback from the Dark Knight, he reluctantly agreed to take her on as a partner, though her identity as Bluebird would be formed on her own much later, when an attack from the Mad Hatter rendered Cullen comatose and she took matters into her own hands to save him.

Under the break is a fully detailed reading list of all appearances that will spoil some plot elements, but this is the short version. The best thing about Harper is also the worst thing: she's got nothing. Her major appearances amount to a grand total of four books:

Batman Eternal - the first book she has something of a starring role in. It sets into canon her personality and skill set, which started off as a mechanical engineer and then James Tynion IV, main writer on Eternal, switched it to hacking very abruptly. Presumably this was because she was being partnered up with Tim Drake and they had to show she wasn't useless. I have my issues with this but I'll get mad later.

Batman & Robin Eternal - continuing on, Harper returns in her supporting role, an opportunity that is exploited to explore her backstory and solidify the first moment she truly got to be a hero.

Punchline - the first issue of Punchline was a standalone, the rest of the book got turned into a backup story in The Joker (which was actually a good book, you should read it). By far her worst appearance. Everything Tynion did in the Eternal books with Harper, he just shredded all of it. She's been written as utterly incompetent just to make Punchline look better and the only times she gets to do something is a bit of DIY and the very end of the book. Just insulting characterisation.

Punchline: The Gotham Game - and somehow that shit got a sequel too. Solicits just came out and she will indeed be making her reappearance in Gotham Game #3.

And now, the full reading list.

First is the People In The Dark backup* from Batman (2011) #25. This is a story from Harper's childhood, and displays how she first got into engineering, along with some relationship work between her and Cullen.

*If you've found this reading list because you're new to comics and are looking for characters to get into, a backup, or b-story, is an unrelated, or only tangentially related, short story that you can find after the main plot of the comic.

Next is Batman (2011) #12, titled Ghost In The Machine. Fun fact (but also a sad fact), this issue was drawn by Becky Cloonan, the first woman to ever do art for a Batman story. This issue marks the first time Harper saves Batman's life and her first meeting with the Dark Knight!

Batman (2011) #7 - The Talons Strike! - is Harper's very first appearance! Batman escapes the Court Of Owls' labyrinth and dies from exhaustion and physical and mental torture. Harper drags his body out of the river and saves his life a second time by restarting his heart with a car battery and jumper cables.

Resolve is the story told in Batman (2011) #18. Harper begins training herself (I like to headcanon she used fighting game moves), donning her black stealth suit and homemade gear and Batman breaks her nose for it, partly still lashing out from the mental torture the Court Of Owls put him through, partly because he doesn't want to see any more good kids enter this life. Not one to be set back by a mere Batbop however, she yells at him and gives him some much needed tough love to put him right.

Shadows And Ghosts (Detective Comics (2011) #21) is Harper's next appearance, chronologically. Batman has since confiscated her gear and she fills us in on what she's been up to since.

Not much happens.

Batman Eternal! Starting from #5 in which she saves Vicki Vale's life and meets Red Robin for the first time, Harper appears consistently throughout, beginning first in her starter gear that Batman returned to her after the events in Detective Comics. From #15 onwards, she switches to a prototype suit with a mask that I believe to be an homage to Cole Cash AKA Grifter, one of the main characters of the Wildstorm Universe, which was later acquired by DC, and another favourite of mine. Harper's prototype mask is a carbon copy of Cole's but coloured light blue in place of the con man's red. She dons the first real Bluebird costume in #41. Most are minor appearances amounting to just a page or two but if you want specific issues, she can be found in issues 5, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 25, 36, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50, 51 and 52.

In issues 48-50, she can be seen battling Mr. Freeze in a handful of panels!

Batman Eternal tells Harper's story as she grows into a hero and becomes Bluebird. Like most of her decisions, she decided to do this because she loves Cullen, her baby brother, and wanted to help him, though wanting to help Batman too was a strong part of it.

I should also mention that Batman (2011) #28 is a teaser for Batman Eternal called Gotham Eternal. It tells the same event as Batman Eternal #43, the script and art are just changed in Batman Eternal for reasons beyond my comprehension.

In this, Bluebird and Batman break into The Egyptian club.

Though published after Batman & Robin Eternal had begun, Bluebird's cameos in Batgirl (2011) #47 and #50 is set before the events of that story. Bluebird is recommended to Batgirl by Stephanie as a communications and electronics whiz, then she helps Batgirl when Barbara's enemies decide to group up on her. Bluebird is tasked with the apprehension of Killer Moth.

Much like Batman Eternal, Batman & Robin Eternal has Bluebird show up consistently in the run, this time starting right from #1. Again, a lot of 1-3 page appearances but the specific Harper issues are 1-5, 7-14, 17-20, 22 and 24-26. Issues 7 and 8 feature a scene with Cassandra Cain (now Batgirl, but under the ridiculous Orphan moniker at the time) that may or may not be able to be read as a date between the two.

Batman & Robin Eternal expands on the set up in Batman Eternal, with Bluebird's arc focusing on who she is as a person and adding some extra depth to her personality. In this run, we get to see more of her childhood and even meet her mother, Miranda!

We revisit Harper in Detective Comics (2016) #943-946 and #950. She has since hung up the jacket and shock rifle, and is volunteering in Leslie Thompkins' clinic, believing she can do more good as Harper Row than Bluebird. In #945, we get canon confirmation of her bisexuality!

Four years and a million Batman books later, Harper is forced to pick up her rifle again as Gotham's latest two-bit Joker knock-off comes begging for attention in Punchline #1. With Cullen spiralling further and further into Alexis' toxic ideology, she's got to save her brother once more.

Demoted from a solo to a continuous B-story in The Joker (2021) after just one issue (lol lmao etc), Harper starts to panic as she realises how fast Punchline sympathisers are dragging Cullen onto their bandwagon. Now she has to investigate Punchline as Bluebird and assist Leslie Thompkins to help keep her behind bars in court.

Solicits just came out and Bluebird will reappear this December in Punchline: The Gotham Game #3 and she will be teaming up with NIghtwing.

Now, this is not the end of Harper's tale, chronologically speaking. In Batman (2011) #35, Bluebird makes a cameo in a hypothetical dystopian future with a cool new high tech suit. For all intents and purposes, until we get something in the primary canon, this alternate future is the last chapter of Bluebird's story.

Harper also appears in the WWII AUs Bombshells and Bombshells United, which sit outside the chronology... I got too tired to look for specific issues cause there's like three of em and Bombshells ran for 100 but she is a mechanic who forms a team of Batgirls with Nell Little and Kathy Duquesne after Batwoman leaves Gotham!

I sincerely hope you enjoy reading Batman Eternal and Batman & Robin Eternal, because this little blue bisexual means a heck of a lot to me, and I'd love to share her with all of you, but please, do not start shipping her with Punchline. Enemies to lovers is a trope that requires a certain level of nuance, and they do not have it.

#bluebird #harper row #batman #batfamily #dc comics #grifter #cole cash #batgirl #cassandra cain #punchline #alexis kaye #the joker #dc bombshells

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football-and-fanfics · 1 year

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Exhausted part 2 - Andy Robertson & Trent Alexander-Arnold

Part 1

Who: Trent Alexander-Arnold, Andy Robertson Request: would love a second part to the recent trent and robbo one think its really good!!😁😁 Requested by: anonymous Warnings: mentions of exhaustion, passing out/fainting, some descriptions of PTSD-like symptoms.

A/N: this is a direct continuation of this imagine. As you can probably already determine from the warnings above, this is quite an angsty piece 😬

Andy knows Liverpool's medical team took Trent to the hospital to be checked over, just to be sure. Something he can only wholeheartedly agree to. The news that Trent was given a clean bill of health from the doctors, reaches the team rather quickly, though. Everyone is relieved to hear that Trent passing out on the pitch is now officially diagnosed as 'exhaustion', and that there's not something more concerning wrong with the young Scouser. Lots of rest and sleep, and he should be just fine.

---

When Andy's phone rings about four hours after the match, he feels a wave of relief to see Trent's caller ID. "Hey, Trentski," Andy answers the call. "Hey." Trent's voice sounds uncharacteristically lifeless. "Are you okay?" Andy immediately asks. "Yeah," Trent answers slowly, "very, very tired, but I'm okay. They sent me home. At the hospital I got an IV with some electrolytes and fluids, that's made me feel a bit better, but mainly I feel like I can sleep until next month." "They sent you home?" Andy frowns at his phone. "Alone?" A soft hum is the only confirmation Trent gives.

After what has happened just hours before, Andy doesn't like the idea of Trent being alone at all. "I'm coming over." He makes the decision in a split-second. The fact that Trent does not protest to it in any way, is all the proof Andy needs to know this is the right thing to do.

----

An hour later Andy finds himself ringing the doorbell of Trent's house. He's picked up some takeaway food on his way over, and if Trent's not hungry, Andy sure is.

Trent opens the door wearing sweatpants and a plain black T-shirt, and looks more tired than Andy's ever seen him. It's not only physical exhaustion, but the fact that he passed out because of it must have a mental impact on him, too. "Thanks for coming over." Trent means it. "Anytime." Andy tones it down. "I brought food." Trent smiles a tired, but genuine smile. "Perfect, I'm starving."

Trent quickly fixes some plates and cutlery, before he and Andy each sag down on either end of the large L-shaped couch with food-laden plates in their laps.

They laugh and joke together as they watch some no-brainer dating show whilst eating. Andy is glad to see Trent somewhat functioning again, but the exhaustion is still clearly visible. The fact that Trent never spoke up about the level of fatigue he was dealing with bothers Andy, but he's not sure this is the opportune moment to bring it up.

But where Andy hesitates, Trent does not. "I'm sorry I startled you today," he starts, scraping the last bit of food off of his plate. "Startled?" Andy chuckles wryly, "you gave me the worst fright of my life! I really thought I was going to lose you right in front of my eyes, mate."

An involuntary shiver runs through Trent at that comment. For the first time he realizes what an impact this must have had on Andy as well. "I never meant for this to happen." "I know you didn't," Andy soothes, "and I'm not mad. I am worried you let it get this far without ever speaking up, but that's a conversation we'll have some other time." Trent nods thoughtfully. He's not feeling up to discussing that topic yet, and he's glad Andy sees it.

"I'm sorry, but I'm off to bed," Trent announces shortly after. He indeed looks dead on his feet, so Andy is not surprised. "Sleep well, mate," Andy answers, "get all the rest you need." "You know your way around the house, and you can take anything from the fridge you want. The guest bedroom is up the stairs to your left." Trent doesn't even ask, he just assumes Andy will be staying for the night as well. And right he is, because it never once crosses Andy's mind to leave Trent alone tonight. Not after what happened today.

----

Andy doesn't sleep a wink that night. The image of Trent going down in front of him constantly replays in his mind. It keeps him up, and whenever he manages to catch some kind of sleep, those horrifying memories give him nightmares.

Around 3 a.m. Andy's had enough. He needs sip of water or a small bite to eat, just anything to take his mind off these nightmarish flashbacks.

He opens the door of his bedroom and strides out into the hallway. Trent's bedroom is right across from the guest bedroom Andy is staying in, and the first thing Andy notices is that Trent has left the door to his room wide open. Andy's heard Trent stumble around a while back, presumably to use the bathroom, and he must have forgotten Andy is staying in the house as well.

Without actively trying, Andy has a clear view of Trent lying spread-eagled on his front in bed, sleeping soundly. The sight sends another involuntary flashback through Andy's mind. Another image of Trent falling to the ground and Andy unable to help him burns behind his eyes. The panic he felt out on the pitch momentarily settles back into his chest, but Andy is able to make the worst of it flow away again.

It's not a conscious decision when Andy silently walks through the open door of Trent's bedroom. His feet simply take him there. He halts at the foot of the bed and looks down at his sleeping friend. The image in itself is nothing new. Andy and Trent have shared many a hotel room during training camps, so Andy's seen Trent asleep often before. But today it hits differently.

And apparently this is what Andy needs to fully let out all the stress and anxiety of today. His hands tremble with sudden emotion, and there's no holding back the tears anymore. Trent is alright, Andy knows that, but the very short moment in which he believed Trent to be going through some life-threatening condition right in front of him, did things to Andy. Things he now, in the middle of the night, has no other choice but to face.

a hiccupped sob escapes Andy, which reverberates like a gunshot through the quiet house. He clasps a hand over his mouth. Trent stirs under the covers before half-opening his eyes. He isn't really awake, but his slumbering gaze still finds Andy. A small smile tugs at the corner of Trent's mouth. "I'm alright, Robbo." The words aren't more than a breath leaving his lips, but Andy hears them. He recollects himself. "I know. Get some more sleep, mate." Trent closes his eyes again and is back asleep in mere seconds.

Trent likely won't remember a thing of this tomorrow, and maybe that's for the best. But for Andy this sleepy reassurance is just what he needs: Trent is going to be perfectly fine.

Tags: @evie-pr, @auawdo, @meteora-fc, @de-geas, @stonesyyyy, @drizzyreese, @hbstre, @liverpoolfanfiction, @sternennebel2001 TAA / Robbo tags: @footballffbarbiex, @lightsupdoyouknowwhoyouare, @sanchoj7, @robbothegoat PL tags: @ella33 LFC tags: @candlelitutopia, @percervall

Add me to the tags list | Request an imagine | Request a photo promptTAA masterlist | Robbo masterlist | General masterlist

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k0kichiimagines · 1 year

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Hello! Can I request ray/saeran being in love with MC while she is with 7?

yes yes! i took some inspiration from the bad ending where ray starts questioning if you've been playing 'his version' of the game,

also first fan fiction post of the year hehe happy new year everyone <3

ray x reader / seven x reader

[Heat lightening]

"there's nothing i can do, not much i can change. i give it up to you. i surrender"

cws : none; angst no happy ending / one sided love

"Why does it always crash when Seven's around?" your voice is frustrated - you'd taken a fondness to hacker, regardless of Ray's attempt to warn you his route would only hurt you. You'd be prepared to face the angst even for just a moment more of his sweet words - but it seemed the game would glitch and freeze, or Ray would conveniently have to come to do reports mid conversation. Were the warnings just covers for the route not being complete?

"Does it? It must be because that AI is the worst of the lot, he's filled with so many bugs he's caused nothing but trouble for me... of course you can chose who you'd want, but I'd advise a different route."

"Hmm... but I like Seven, it'd be a shame to give up just over a few bugs, don't you think?" He seemed to stiffen at your words, searching for something to say.

See, his excuses had worked, they'd all made sense even if they were a bit suspicious - but upon learning the AIs were in fact actual people, and this was an actual party you were planning, and you were also now surprise kidnapped by a cult, the excuses didn't work anymore. All he'd say was 'Seven is a traitor' ,'He's a liar' and 'He's a danger to the Mint Eye.'

From what you'd gathered... what you'd suspected... was Ray was being manipulated, controlled, hurt buy the 'saviour' of this nightmare. And if that was the case, then surely that only meant Seven wasn't the heartless evil you'd been told. Surely it meant... his words were true? You cared for Ray, perhaps not in the way you suspected he was starting to care for you, you didn't blush around him, your thoughts were platonic - but that doesn't mean you love him any less. Just different. You still want him free. But how could accomplish such a task? V was trying... what could you do that was any more? The man seemed too focused on desperately trying to get you to love him not Seven, love him, love anyone not Seven, please not Seven. Ray was crying, pleading, calm only when your hands were soft on his shoulders - only for his heart to shatter over and over again whenever you called him nothing more then a friend.

And he'd come night after night as though one day you'd change your mind, fall into his arm with the sparkle in your eyes he only saw when he was mentioned. Your words about escaping fell on deaf ears, went through a man who couldn't care less what he went through if he could only hold you once. He was sorry, sorry he lied, sorry he wasn't enough - he'll change everything, anything, please, please, please.

Saeran wasn't as kind. He shut down the messenger the second the party was cancelled - you didn't need to speak to them anymore. Seven was frantically trying to get through to you, setting up rooms after rooms that he tried to hide from Saeran's merciless attacks - never getting more then a few words out before Saeran shut it down, teasingly letting you both think that just for a second it would work.

"He took everything from me, he was always better then me. It's not fair, it's not fair! You're my toy! Mine! Mine, mine, mine!"

Day after day passed, nothing more then a blur of events. Had it been a week? Three days? A few minutes? Time meant nothing to you anymore.

707: ive found a way to send a message he can't see... but only one!! pls follow the link!! trust me and download it!! pls pls pls!!

And then you had a chatroom again. Well... it was just the two of you. He could add the rest... but... wasn't it nice to have the online equivalent of some alone time? He'd pass your messages on the others if you had any.

Oh? Was that your selfie? He thought you were even cuter then he'd pictured you. Are you embarrassed? Gahh, he can't handle it.

All the teasing from the members came to your mind, all the 'ohhh Seven likes you!!' from Yoosung, 'he's a man!! be careful!! from Zen.

707: imma dangerous guy... you shouldn't fall for someone like me lol

(name): im already in a dangerous situation, arent it?

707: lololol

707: true...

707: do i need to be ur prince in shining armour to come save u?

(name): saved with a true loves kiss!

707: ki

707: kiss?!

(name): its the only way to truly save me

707: ah, then i'll have to do it. you know. to save you.

Your mood rose, Saeran hated it and snatched your phone again and again, unaware Seven was sure to keep the app hidden unless he activated it, calling you before hand and with a whole system to shut it off in a second if Saeran came barging in - code words, secret clues, it was all hidden and neat,

But then he slipped up.

You two were never at pet names. Not seriously. The sudden accidental 'Darling' in one of his what Saeran now understood as fake attempts at contacting you felt like a slap to the face. Could it have been a joke? But in such a seemingly serious message... He looked back, he saw the switch, the one night he hadn't noticed anything and suddenly you were happier and Seven was trying less.

Saeran: You two think you're so clever, huh?! Using private chatrooms.

Saeran: just you wait...

Saeran: i'll take your phone myself.

Saeran: sit lonely in that room and do nothing but wait for me. i'll even install a speaker system, you can talk to me through that hehehe

Saeran: say goodbye to your lover boy.

He through his phone after sending that last message, ignoring the cracking of the screen as he yelled into the palms of his hands. He couldn't admit why this angered him so much, if he thought he would have to admit - so he didn't think. He sat there in silence, no sound beyond his shaken breaths.

Darling.

If he were to head to your room he'd break down again, he'd yell and fall crying at your feet, he'd forget the phone and run, it would the catalyst to you leaving. To him having to accept the one simple fact : you didn't romantically love him.

Perhaps he knew this. Subconsciously. Perhaps consciously.

Perhaps he went to you anyway,

#saeran x reader #ray x reader #msytic messenger x reader #msyme x reader #saeran choi x reader #suit saeran x reader #msytic messenger #saeran :(#saeran

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sentinelpri · 11 months

Text

Icarus

Hawks is in love with Best Jeanist.

Admittedly, it’s an awkward sort of love that he feels like isn’t proper. Best Jeanist is a hero just like him, who is constantly in danger just like him, and who is under a lot of stress just like him. Yet, having been working with him to subdue Nomus and infiltrate the Paranormal Liberation Front for the past few months… Hawks has developed feelings that he can’t get rid of. He does, however, choose to ignore them, not wanting to risk any more rejection than he’s already faced in his lifetime.

After the raid, he ends up in the hospital with third degree burns on his back. His wings are a fragment of what they used to be, crumpled little red feathers that aren’t useful for anything scattered around scarred and raw pink skin that needs to have ointment applied onto it every few hours. One of his arms is broken and stuck in a sling, and he’s still hooked up to an IV to be pumped full of fluids and pain meds.

He didn’t expect anyone to visit. He fully expected to stay in the hospital by himself, recover, and go back out to the public all laughs and smiles like he normally would after a rough assignment. This time, however, there’s one man who won’t leave his hospital room…

“Hawks… You all managed to retrieve and revive me,” Best Jeanist speaks, sitting in a chair by Hawks’s hospital bed and facing the younger hero, who’s wrapped head to toe in bandages. “But at what cost…”

“Heh,” Hawks offers the best chuckle he can muster, trying to pretend that this isn’t as severe as he is. He doesn’t know if his wings will ever grow back and some of the injuries he sustained from Dabi will surely affect him for the rest of his life. Worst of all, he knows that the second he’s discharged from the hospital, they’re probably going to do it all over again. “Don’t worry about it, Jeanist. You’re the one who did me a favor in the first place by agreeing to go through with this.”

“I did you no favors here,” Jeanist says, almost as if him agreeing to be ‘killed’ by Hawks and given to Dabi was no big deal. Hawks still can’t believe the older man went through with something so risky- he himself would never trust anyone like that- not Jeanist, not Endeavor, not anyone. After the fact, Jeanist has been in Hawks’s hospital room 24/7, helping him get around, spoon feeding him the few things he’s allowed to eat, putting his burn ointment on and changing his bandages, bringing flowers, and watching Hawks’s favorite shows with him on the cheap hospital television that hangs on the wall. The fact that Jeanist has been here at all is surprising, but for him to have gone so above and beyond… Hawks is unable to fathom it. “You look… Unwound.”

“I’m a little ruffled, sure, but I’m fine,” Hawks tries to brush off his friend- comrade- whatever they are-’s concern, but it doesn’t work.

“Stop it,” Jeanist hisses with a sharp glare. “Stop lying to me.”

“Huh?”

“We’re not at a press conference, nor are we in front of the media right now,” Jeanist scolds. “Be honest with yourself and with me; you’re suffering.”

The fake smile that Hawks plastered on moments before falls. He stares down into his lap, unable to meet Jeanist’s intense stare. He offers a weak shrug with the arm that isn’t dislocated, broken, and stuck in a sling.

“My wings will grow back.”

“But that doesn’t matter if you keep getting them burned off,” Jeanist softly argues and reaches out to place a hand between Hawks’s wings, so gently that Hawks barely feels it.

Hawks shudders.

“Why do you care, anyway?”

“You’re my comrade,” Jeanist answers. It’s clear that there’s something else hiding behind that answer, and that’s when it clicks for Hawks. While his feelings have been there for months, Jeanist has either felt the same way the entire time or started to recently. Why else would he be here doing this? “A fellow hero… A friend. As a fellow pro hero, I hate to see you unraveling like this.”

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think just ‘friends’ would do what we do,” Hawks bluntly answers before he can think better of it.

“Then who does do what we do?” Jeanist retorts.

Underneath Jeanist’s scrutinizing stare, Hawks suddenly shrivels up. He regrets bringing anything up in the first place.

“Ah… This got a little serious, didn’t it? That’s my bad,” Hawks nervously laughs. “We shouldn’t be stressing ourselves out right now, you know? Let’s change the subject.”

“Let’s not,” Jeanist insists. “You decided to bring this up, so let’s have a discussion. Tell me what’s on your mind. Now.”

“Fine. Let’s drop the act,” Hawks acquiesces, but is sure to choose his words carefully so he can gauge Jeanist’s feelings without revealing his own right off the bat. “A friend wouldn’t just allow me to put them into a death state no matter what good it could’ve done for society, and a friend wouldn’t be coming to rub burn ointment on me or to put fresh cut flowers in my room. Tsunagu, you…”

“Yes, it’s true,” Jeanist nods, knowing what Hawks was getting at. The hand on Hawks’s back moves to hold one of Hawks’s hands. “And as someone who loves you dearly, I refuse to let you continue down the path you’ve been walking. Accept the help that other heroes offer to you. What were you thinking, going and handling Jin Bubaigawara by yourself when you know damn well that the rest of the former league was always close to him? You should’ve asked for back up. Touya Todoroki’s quirk-”

“I know about his quirk, Tsunagu,” Hawks interjects, shivering at the memory; Dabi breaking his arm, standing on top of him, charring is wings to nothing- poor Tokoyami having to come and rescue him- the hospital treatments, the surgeries he had to have to reverse some of the severe injuries he sustained from Dabi’s flames. “Trust me… I know. If I didn’t before, I certainly did now.”

“I’m not going to trust you to go off by yourself for a long time after this… Look at you.”

“Do I really look that bad?”

“No,” Jeanist answers with a shake of his head. “But you look broken.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Hawks huffs with a roll of his golden eyes.

“I’m going to take it you don’t reciprocate. I’ll get out of your hair,” Jeanist starts to stand up, only for Hawks to grab him by the wrist and yank him back down into his chair.

“Stop,” Hawks whispers. “Look, I’m sorry about how I’ve acted today- and in general. I know I’ve been worrying you and that I’ve been more distant than I should be, but… I do feel the same way, you know. I just can’t help but try to take everything on by myself. I’ve lived my entire life that way, and usually, when people offer help, it’s not because they have good intentions. So, I don’t know exactly how to respond to…”

“Respond to what?”

“To someone genuinely caring this much about me.”

“Well,” The blond sighs and stands up from his bedside chair. When he reaches for Hawks, the younger man flinches, only to find that he’s been enveloped in a tight, loving hug. He blinks in surprise and tenses under the unexpected touch. “You’ll just have to get used to it from now on.”

“Yeah,” Hawks sighs and allows his eyes to flutter shut. They have a lot to worry about and a lot to do, but for now, he chooses to focus on the feeling of Jeanist’s warm arms wrapped around him, holding him close and comforting him in a way he’s never experienced before. “I guess I will.”

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transjarlaxle · 8 months

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⌛, 💕, 💣, 🤲, 🏡 :3

from this ask game !

this is mostly gonna be about kaine but starting with a gale thing because i have a TANGENT to go on

⌛a sleep headcanon: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GLAD YOU BROUGHT IT UP BECAUSE IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT FOR A FUCKING HOT MINUTE. in fact i was talking about it the other night in chat but. you made a post about the powers that mystra's chosen had, and a few stood out to me, namely that mystra's chosen don't age, and they have no need for sleep. i won't get into my gale age conspiracy at the moment BUT i will be emo about the sleep thing. gale spent a century however long not needing to sleep - and who knows how long he would spend in the outer planes at a time? he's barely a year out of his self-imposed exile following the loss of his power - i know he cannot sleep. as a chronic insomnia haver i can only imagine what it's like to have to readjust to a fully human body again. enter: a dragon whose love language is physical touch. can't sleep? too bad. get in the bed, boy, you have a lover who needs to lay directly on top of you, and by the gods they are going to bring you a comfort you have never known before. even on his worst nights he'd rather be there, with them.

💕a love headcanon: kaine is young, and sheltered, but not inexperienced. they fall in love easily, but they're fickle - or they used to be. something shifted with gale. if they think about it too hard their chest starts to hurt. really, it's that he sees them. with all the others, they were never able to be themself, always hiding something, and they don't have to do that with him. it's freedom - that freedom they've always craved and never had.

💣a stress headcanon: kaine rarely allows themself to feel their stress. it builds, and they ignore it, until they can't anymore - they snap, and they lash out with cruel words and vicious laughter, or their magic becomes so volatile their shackles struggle to contain them. it takes someone with a lot of patience, arcane acuity, and spacial awareness to help them through it. luckily, they have that :)

🤲a religious headcanon: i have pages upon pages of lore on kaine's homeland and the demiplane it used to inhabit and its history but to make a long fuckin story short: kaine's bloodline claims their divine right to rule based on lineage connected to the most powerful deity of their pantheon. in this version of events, when said demiplane was dismantled and valais was returned to faerun, it was also revealed that those deities were, in fact, dragons, and while kaine's bloodline exists, and their power is very real, it wasn't gods at all, just an ancient wizard's failed attempt to create a new kind of god. as such, valesian custom doesn't recognize the gods of faerun, but that's simply borne of a lack of exposure. that said, kaine struggles with the idea that their power isn't divine. dragons in faerun seem so... small, in comparison. the power they have roiling under their skin is much more than that. i think kaine and gale talk about divinity at length, both of them with their differing views on it, but both having fairly recently gone through shit that's altered what they previously thought to be true.

🏡a home headcanon can i talk about the kainegale weddings im dying to talk about the kainegale weddings ok so basically. after all is said and done and kaine is stabilized and gale is certain they're not going to drop dead again, they go back to waterdeep. kaine is probably the one to bring it up - gale is uncertain about too much change at once, but they want to see his home, see his tower in person. they spend some time there, working out everything they havent processed yet, and after a year or two, they decide to get married. kaine is so excited over the idea of it that they agree without even considering the consequences of getting married outside of their country - where they need to ascend the throne one day - but it's a wonderful little affair, and they don't regret it at all. eventually, of course, kaine does tell gale that they need to go home at some point, and gale's nothing if not supportive, so they go together. kaine tells him under no uncertain terms that he is not to mention the fact that they're already married, and they will be having another ceremony, several in fact, because they still need to be named and coronated before they can be married in the eyes of their ancestors. in the end, that's where they stay, ruling together. it's no crown of karsus, but it's a crown all the same.

#ask #long ass post. i would apologize but im not sorry #thank you<3 #kaine silva #gale of waterdeep #otp: souls of steel

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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Ngl that anon talking about having food issues during the apartment days with Saeyoung is like me but with sleep,, he tells you to rest several times when you call him but my anxious ass brain is going "I just realized ive been living in a bombed apartment for a week and I was nearly kidnapped, laying down and having the opportunity to think about that at length is the LAST thing i want to do right now-".

But i wouldnt ever say it bc of how much shit he's clearly going through at the time with Saeran and the realization V lied. So... midnight working near each other in complete silence except for the humming of the laptop fans and emotional tension you could cut with a knife /j

I understand! I'm a picky eater but I also have a very limited diet due to my disability. Sometimes I like to think about how tough it could be with Ray, like, it's hard enough to get to know someone but it's harder to explain your diet choices for personal reasons! It is too easy to feel like a nuisance. But, nobody is a nuisance for having preferences. Nobody should be commenting on anybody's eating habits unless you have decided to discuss that with them.

But, even in what I would like to call the very worst moment of his life, he is determined to take care of you. He wants to push you away for your protection but he can't even bring himself to do it properly. He knows it's better to push you away for safety but at the same time it's not the easiest thing to do when he selfishly wants to hold on to the small piece of happiness you have given him. That's why it's so easy to see he's lying when he says that he doesn't care. Why would he say that he doesn't care when he wants to order you all the food in the world to take care of you and make sure that you're safe in the apartment?

If you told him you had a preference for something, it wouldn't upset him. In fact, he would rather you assert yourself. After all, isn't it a fact that you got to the apartment by second guessing yourself about going to a secondary location a stranger told you? Saeyoung would be happier knowing you've been assertive to anyone, even him. He doesn't want you to bite your tongue and deal with something just because you don't want to be a nuisance.

He wants to make sure you're taken care of and even if he is lying through his teeth about how he feels, if you tell him that you need him to get something different, he will. It's not a problem.he wants to make sure you're taken care of and even if he is lying through his teeth about how he feels, if you tell him that you need him to get something different, he will. It's not a problem. It won't take much for him to figure out you have preferences. But, it may not be clear what those are and if you don't tell him, he will play a guessing game until he figures it out.

#tw food issues #tw eating issues #mod kait #ask #anon

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dedbuny · 10 months

Text

hi :) im bunny and im a chronic maladaptive daydreamer :)

ive been doing it for about eight years now and im curious to see how many others do it too !

my (only moderately depressing) maladaptive daydreaming story/timeline is below the cut, if that interests u at all :) id love to hear urs as well in the notes !

my first memory of maladaptive daydreaming (aside from playing house and stuff as a kid) was in 2014 when i was in sixth grade. my friend and i would pretend to be certain characters throughout the whole school day, even writing the characters’ names on our schoolwork and calling each other by those names. the most common characters were always sam and dean, which is .. something . sometimes it was the 5sos members. then as the years went by the chosen characters changed depending on my hyperfixation at the time.

in grade eight i had moved on to kpop. this is the worst it gets i promise. mostly the same continued, except this year i realized something revolutionary: i could include myself in the daydream ! so i started pretending i was whatever kpop idol i was interested in on any given day’s friend, every day, for the next five to six years. this is where it became an addiction i guess.

grade nine was more of the same but with some drag race girls sprinkled in. grade ten was more of the same but with some video game characters sprinkled in. as those five to six years went by i continued daydreaming about myself and any chosen person or character i liked, except i realized one other extremely important thing: i could also just make up my own characters…..

so i did . technically the first original character i ever made was in eighth grade, named jacob. as much as i’m now trying to slowly distance myself from the maladaptive daydreaming and all the characters that were born from it, jacob really feels like my friend. they’ve evolved with me every step of the way — they’ve gone through a whole appearance change, their personality has changed, their gender and pronouns have changed, their world views have changed, all alongside my own, so it really does feel like i’ve found a lifelong friend who just gets me. and upon realizing that i’m purposefully creating my own blorbos from my mind to perfectly match my needs and wants and behave exactly like i want them to, i started feeling extremely self conscious about it all.

over the last five to six years i’ve created roughly 23 different characters, all with intertwining relationships and backstories and personalities and interests and styles. it’s been really fun actually, to be able to essentially create an entirely made-up friend group and make up their relationships with each other and watch them all grow. the issue lies in the fact that i’m spending more time imagining i’m them and/or imagining i’m with them than i am actually being in reality.

because all these characters behave in the exact ways i want them to and understand me perfectly inside and out, i’ve become much more easy to irritate. i find myself having a much shorter temper with my friends and family. my ocs know what i’m thinking and always have the perfect answer, because they are me. they know what makes me uncomfortable and avoid doing so, because they are me. they never question anything i say or challenge any of my beliefs, because they are me. in other words , uh oh .

this has all made me extremely paranoid, extremely insecure, extremely anxious and extremely depressed. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t really know who i am anymore, because i don’t really feel like i’m the one who has evolved or grown over the years. i feel like a side character to all the ocs i’ve made who are living my life for me. it feels like all my decisions are made by whoever it is i’m daydreaming as in that moment. i’ve had multiple breakdowns due to remembering that none of this world i’ve built in my head is real, and none of it ever will be. but it all feels unbelievably real. and i feel like if i ever stop i’ll be punched in the face with the consequences of letting what is essentially my imaginary friends control my life for six years.

i’ve thought it might be either evolving into or had initially stemmed from schizophrenia or ocd or did or something similar but i don’t even know anymore. right now it just seems like a combination of having autism, depression, severe anxiety, an extremely vivid imagination, and being chronically lonely.

i truly feel like i’m suffering alone here. i know there are other people who maladaptive daydream but i’ve never heard of anyone who does it like me. if anyone reading this understands what im going through i’d love to hear from you !!!!!

if u got this far into reading, thank u for hearing me out :)

love, bunny (...and jay and marcus and darius and veronica and luca and hiroki and minki and advik and hannah and hanna and nayeon and shauna and joslyn and thomas and christian and jack and claire and marion and peter and frances and oskar and felix and frederick and svante and shaelynn and heather and more)

#im talkin here #maladapting daydreaming disorder #maladaptive daydreaming #pls tell me !!!! so curious #im actually very ashamed of all this #so to write it out n post it is a little scaryy #but i felt like i needed to get it out into the world #so pls feel free to tel me ur story as well :)

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f-letchershears · 5 months

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where i am now

its been years since ive logged onto this tumblr account, or tumblr in general. during my time on this platform, i went through the roughest patch of my life. three of my very close family members passed away unexpectedly, leaving 13 year old me with a lot of unanswered questions. my life completely changed so suddenly. since i was only 13, i couldnt comprehend what was happening and i sadly took all of my pent up frustration, sadness, and anger on myself. i continued to do this for years.

as i was still trying to figure out why god took three of my family members away from me, my family broke the news to me that we were going to move away from all of my friends and go to high school in a different city. i got told this news 3 months after the deaths that were in my family, around my 14th birthday. i pretended like i was excited, and that everything was okay.

once we moved into our new house, it was only 2 weeks before my first day of high school. a school where everyone already knew each other. i attended my previous school for 9 years, with the same 30 kids from the year before. the amount of anxiety i was feeling when the first day of school came around was a type of anxiety i will quite never feel again. i threw up before getting on the bus, i begged my mom to not make me get on the bus.

she made me go anyways.

i knew that i needed to make at least one friend. i made that one friend, and her name is Maddy. i will always be so thankful i asked her for directions. we sat together at lunch that day, and for the weeks following.

one day at lunch, before the long labor day weekend, a tall boy with brown eyes sat down at our lunch table filled with other kids that didn't really fit in anywhere else. he told us that some kid named Nick was pissing him off at the table he was sitting at, so he moved to our table.

I asked the brown eyed boy what his name was, and he said his name is Avery. suddenly, Avery is my new favorite name.

Avery and i talked about music. i remember asking him if he liked the band Bad Suns who was, at the time, my favorite band of all time. he said yes, and i remember feeling butterflies. he then asked me if i like King Krule, which of course i had to lie and say that i did because i didnt want him to think i wasnt cool, which i soon found out that he also lied about even knowing who Bad Suns was for the same reasons.

we swapped tumblrs and continued to talk during the long labor day weekend. I remember being at a concert (young the giant), wishing my phone would buzz and it would be a new message from Avery. I will never forget the feeling i felt when my phone did buzz, and it was in fact the brown eyed boy sending me a song to listen to.

i listened to that song over, and over, and over. Courtney Barnett quickly became a new favorite of mine.

after that long weekend, i was so nervous to see him at school again. the butterflies were taking over, he was all i could think about. that morning, we ran into each other and he didnt notice it was me but i surely noticed him. i will never forget that moment, thinking "oh my gosh its him!!!!!"

shortly after that, Avery became my boyfriend. he helped me through the worst part of my life. he was the most supportive, caring, and wholesome boyfriend ever. he constantly made me feel like i was worth something, because to him, i was priceless.

today, Avery is no longer my boyfriend, he is my fiancé.

i am so thankful my mom made me get on the bus.

----------------------------------

now, i am 22, i live on my own, i recuse fiv+ cats, and i am in college. i work a cool job where i met my best friend, and i wake up excited every day. i wake up excited to talk to my friends, to pet my cats, to eat delicious food, to see beautiful places and best of all, i get to do all of these things with Avery, my handsome fiance.

at 13, i didnt think i was even going to make it to 22. shout out to myself for overcoming the worst, for keeping my body unharmed, and for opening up about the need for help.

receiving help for mental health is cool and you should do it, too <3

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overflowchute · 8 months

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venting

legitimately all i fucking want is to have a normal fucking life and be happy and i can't even have that because i'm fucking poor and i can't afford literally anything that'd make my life better, and now i have to face an insanely high bill that'll make everything in my life harder and the worst bit is that legitimately i don't know what the fuck i;m going to do if it happens again. it'll probably cost like 3000 dollars or something just to get this dealt with at the dealership and then what do i even do with my car? i don't want to drive it to work anymore which makes this job so much more frustrating, but i need to keep working it because otherwise i won't have any money at all. ive been interviewing for all these better jobs that im hopeful about but they're all way more distant and now they're just utterly not an option for me if i can't drive!!! im stuck with this stupid fucking job where im going to have to take the bus and change my entire schedule to fit it every day, let alone considering the 30 minute walks im going to half to take to get to the nearest grocery store...

ok, well, maybe when i get my car ill only drive it to the grocery store because it wasn't stolen for 3 months until i started leaving it at work all day... but im still just. i dont know what to do. i really dont know what to do. im legitimately just crying in bed like an idiot instead of being able to get to sleep because what the fuck is there even for me to say. what am i going to do at the service appointment tomorrow, ask them how long they can hold my car because i don't have any fucking money? how am i supposed to just keep on walking through life normally and go to work when everything's become so much harder? i worked 11 hours today at 15 dollars an hour, that's 158 dollars without counting my lunch break, and then i spent 200 dollars getting my fucking car towed to the dealership so i literally went negative today. i havent had more than 3000 dollars since i was getting scholarships at school and now i have to imagine dumping that much to replace something that could get easily stolen yet again at a moment's notice

like what the fuck am i supposed to do. get a whole new car that doesnt have as likely a chance of seeing its converter stolen? buy one of those stupid 200 dollar shields that only might stop a determined thief, despite the fact that those converters can go for like 700 dollars on the resale market? i can't fucking do any of that because i'm fuucking poor and i'm going to have to work like a month just to deal with the current situation, let alone trying to figure out a way to not have to deal with it anymore, LET ALONE any of the things i wanted to fucking save up money to be able to do

it's just actually fucking hopeless like life is just misery and suffering ok

#narfvent

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cranberrymelk · 10 months

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2023 (& december 2022) MEDIA MEGA POST!! (part 1)

THE MEGA MEDIA POST (part 1) IS FINALLY DONE LETS GOOOO

i’m really excited to make this post because like i said in a post a few days back, i have an existing media thread that’s ongoing on my twitter where i had to keep my thoughts on the things in that thread short because of the letter limit twitter has, which made the posts about said things feel really bland in my eyes. but now that i’m on tumblr, i could FINALLY talk about these things with NO letter limit and ALL of the freedom in the world! EXCITING!!!!!!!

this post will include the first 5 posts in the media thread on my twitter. it was originally supposed to be the first 10, but it already looked like too much at just 5 with how much things i have to say, so...

this post is gonna be a long one!!

1. SMT IV: Apocalypse

(originally posted to twitter on 12/13/22)

starting off with possibly the WEAKEST title in this part, SMT IV: Apocalypse is definitely one of the weakest SMT games ive played so far in the franchise. the writing & narrative of the game felt a bit lacking and light-hearted for a good portion of the game’s runtime, which is insane to me given how SMT IV’s writing, tone and music is VASTLY different. IV really sold the idea that the journey you’re taking isn’t something for the faint of heart, giving you some REALLY tough boss battles, showing you how life is in the demon-infested japan, and having some tracks that will overwhelm you and put you on edge. the main theme of IV alone is all you would need to listen to get an understanding of what type of game you’ll be dealing with and what kind of journey you’ll embark on, whereas IV Apocalypse doesn’t really have any of that weight. there are still some good things about it, but either way it felt very weak on that front, which was really disappointing to me. there was also a some points in the story where character dialogue felt so.. out of place. there was also moments (specifically with one character) that made me so uncomfortable, and not in the way that IV does, that it almost made me drop the game. it was a pain to go through for me.

the story aside however, the gameplay is phenomenal. i really like they added more depth to the gameplay, so instead of just having the smirk (which activates after attacking an enemy with their weakness or performing a critical hit), some attacks do some additional damage or do something entirely different, like the hama or mudo skills. as normal attacks, they’re only just normal bless and curse skills. however, when you or one of your demons have a smirk, not only are those attacks stronger, but are also guaranteed to one-shot any enemies that are weak to or do not block any bless or curse attacks. its really fun to abuse when you really get a good grasp of the system, and makes boss battles much more engaging.

even if IV Apocalypse's music isn’t on par with IV’s music, it’s still really good too. it was really great to hear some of IV’s tracks in this game along with some newer tracks that are just as good! the track known as Enemy of God is definitely my most favorite track in the game and one of my favorite final boss tracks ever.

all in all, SMT IV: Apocalypse isn’t the worst, but as i stated earlier, it’s definitely the weakest out of the SMT games i’ve played so far. in my honest opinion, if you can stomach some of the lower points of the game and some pretty bland or just bad character writing and focus on the gameplay and music, you’ll have a great time. otherwise… just play SMT IV.

2. Devilman Crybaby

(originally posted to twitter on 12/13/22)

this ones gonna be a bit of a shorter one. i was recommended to watch this show from a friend because they were aware of my interest in the SMT franchise and how i love that the fact that the franchise uses creatures ranging from fairy tales to mythology to religion, and is about us as humans, all of which they told me Devilman Crybaby was about. i followed up on their recommendation and watched the show, and... i liked it! it was really entertaining and interesting, especially towards the end. i do have some gripes with the show though; those being that the show does have its moments where the production value makes things just look bad or just goofy, or how it just does things for the sake of shock value. those points didn’t happen every episode, but even then those moments did have have me a bit annoyed when they happened. otherwise, i think the shows good. definitely not bad, but nothing too special for me to write home about.

3. The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

(originally posted to twitter on 12/28/22)

this was my third time playing this game in a LONG while. i really loved this game when i first played it at release, so i was really looking forward to playing the game again, and i’m happy to say that the game is (obviously) as good as it was the first time i played it. even though the game is basically the successor to A Link to the Past, the amazing music and its simplistic yet entertaining gameplay makes this possibly one of my favorite zelda games.

the gameplay hasn’t changed much from ALTTP to ALBW, its still the same as it ever was, but with a modern coat of paint. the only real difference in this game is the merge ability that you learn early on, which never got tiresome or boring for me to use. instead they always find new ways for the player to use it, which really helps keep the ability feel fresh and new. my favorite example is using it during the stalblind boss, where it will hold its shield up to guard itself from the front, and the only way you can attack it is if you merge into the shield, which confuses the boss and leaves an opening for you attack it from behind. that boss has always been such a good example to me of taking an existing idea and expanding upon what’s possible with it without changing or touching the idea itself... if that makes any sense.

the music in the game is absolutely amazing too. the battle theme for Yuga-Ganon has to be my favorite track in the game, especially the beginning where the song starts as the original final boss theme from ALTTP, and then transitions to a brand new track. i love that part a LOT.

i really had a lot of fun playing this game, and i’m really looking forward to when i (eventually) play it again. this is definitely a game to play if you have a hacked Totally Legal and Legit Copy of the game and a 3ds.

4. ULTRAKILL ACT 1: INFINITE HYPERDEATH

(originally posted to twitter on 12/29/22)

this one might be all over the place… i’ve heard a lot about ultrakill prior to playing the game by word of mouth, but i never really bothered to look into it and for no particular reason either. i just… never bothered. it was like this for a while until christmas of 2022, where i actually started to look into it because it was sent to me as a gift on steam from a friend, and man. this game is fucking GOOOOOOOOOD. like, GOOD good. there’s so much to talk about with this game and i cannot stress how the original post for it on my twitter really does not do the game enough justice. everything about the game is just so good, from its fast-paced and adrenaline-pumping gameplay that really puts the test to your reaction time and speed, the intense and AMAZING music, and its interesting story all combined make it an amazing experience. i’m also very thankful that the game has a ton of accessibility options in case you aren’t good at FPS games (like me lol). they really made sure that any and everyone (of the appropriate age of course lol) could play the game the way they’d like to and it’s really nice that they did do that.

as i stated earlier, the gameplay in this game is FAST and it really gets your adrenaline going. there’s rarely ever a moment where the game slows and when it does it’s for story purposes, but when the game gets back to how it was prior, it doesn’t hold back any of its punches. you WILL die in this game. a LOT. but its all a part of the experience of understanding the game to a better degree and improving your own mechanical skills. dying never gets demotivating, instead, each and every time you do die, its always motivating and makes me think “okay, how can i do this better and faster without dying?” finding those faster and more efficient routes that also help increase the style index is so much fun and i love it so much.

i want to dedicate this paragraph to talk about the style index that was mentioned in the previous one. the style index is basically the game’s combo meter, with it going higher and higher with how many kills you can get and how fast you get them. the index has 8 levels, starting from Destructive and building its way all the way up to ULTRAKILL, and while reaching that final level of the index is hard (for me at least), it’s never NOT fun. it’s always satisfying to get that high up, and trying to reach that said style in the higher difficulties make it twice as much fun and exhilarating.

the music is SUPER intense and really fucking good. A Shattered Illusion and Versus are two of my favorite tracks. they’re both really intense yet amazing. i love those songs a LOT and honestly i think the soundtrack is worth a listen on its own, even without playing the game. it was recently released on spotify, so if you have an existing account, i HIGHLY recommend listening to the soundtrack in its entirety.

all in all, from what i’ve played so far, the game is AMAZING, and i’m really looking forward to playing the next few acts. ‘ill definitely add them all here when i get around to playing them!

5. Katamari Damacy REROLL

(originally posted to twitter on 12/31/22)

this was actually my second playthrough of Katamari Damacy REROLL. i first played it back sometime during 2018. this review might be a bit of a deeper one, but only because of the time when i first played the game... i won’t go too deep into it, but rest assured it was a rough time for me. this game really helped carry me through those rough times because of how much of a feel-good game this is. the controls for the game is simple and easy to get the hang of, and can get really fun when you master the controls, and a lot of the tracks are really nice or really fun to listen to. a lot of this game just really makes me happy and it’s really hard for me to NOT crack a smile when i play this game.

the game’s focus really isn’t on the story, mostly on the gameplay and the absurdity of the idea of the game itself. you have to roll up a katamari to create stars in the sky because of the king of all cosmos accidentally destroyed all of them one night. the story is ridiculous and it isn’t anything too serious because like i said, the story isn’t a huge focus, rather the insanity of it all and the gameplay is. rolling up a katamari in each and every level is really fun and addictive. the controls are really easy to understand but pretty hard to master at first, so the first few levels makes sure the game is simplistic enough for a beginner to mess around and get warmed up to the controls before it starts giving them levels that get bigger and BIGGER. to me, it’s genius how the game settles you in with its controls, and even better how simple the game is in design. basically, the more you collect, the bigger your katamari will get, which will allow you to collect even bigger things with the levels get bigger too. it’s quite literally a snowball effect. also, i thought it would be funny to mention that picking up anything with your katamari makes a sound, with some of them ranging from what you’d expect, like an alarm clock sounding off, to a sound that has nothing to do with that item. it’s just completely ridiculous to the point where it makes me laugh each and every time. it’s just another thing that adds to the feel-good effect the game has. another thing that really adds to it is the music.

i cannot emphasize how much i LOVE the soundtrack for this game. there are so many tracks in this game that i love and still listen to daily TO THIS DAY. a lot of the songs range from really nice and calming songs, to some of the most fun songs you’ll hear in this game. one song that i know everyone’s listened to at least once even without playing the game is Katamari on the Rocks. it’s such a famous song because it’s just really good at embodying the feelings and emotions of having a good time. it’s an amazing song, and if you like that song, i HIGHLY recommend listening to the entirety of the soundtrack for the game. there are so many other songs like the main theme, such as The Moon & The Prince, Lonely Rolling Star, and Katamari Mambo. there are also songs that are really calming, which i’d consider to be some of my absolute favorites. one of those songs are called Roll Me In, and this is a song that has stuck with me for such a long time. i always get choked up when listening to the song because of how calming it is and how happy it makes me… i love it so much.

if you haven’t already, please play this game. its one of my favorite games ever and i’m really thankful to have experienced it a second time. it’s an amazing game. (also thank you for my friend lee for putting me on this game back then LOL)

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werewolfpdfs · 2 years

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💞 the death anxiety coping mechanisms post 💞

you have a small little animal (yourself) and you must treat it gently etc etc

part one: thoughts I keep in my pocket for when I start spiralling about the concept of nothingness (aka your brain is a liar)

mark twain philosophy: “i had been dead for billions and billions of years before i was born…” - this doesn’t usually help me honestly (too abstract) but it’s something ive been told before by other people that they use!

that’s a problem for another day - my death does not meaningfully exist to me until the moment before it happens. until it exists, it has no authority to dictate my life or emotions. (this is the put that shit off method of denial and any insinuations that it’s unhealthy will be met with an immediate bonk on the head with my rubber mallet)

being afraid doesn’t last forever, actually - do you ever spiral so bad you start spiralling about spiralling? good time to remind yourself that fear of death tends to lessen, rather than increase, as you age <3

says who? - devils advocate toddler your brain into submission method. why are you so convinced by your worst case scenario? is it a rational or anxiety-driven conclusion? if it’s rational, on whose authority? yours? humans have extremely inflated egos of ourselves. you understand nothing about anything, especially death. you’re convinced by your worst case scenario because you’re five steps from being a smooth brained koala and what you think has zero bearing on the mechanisms of the universe. sit down.

dad goes first - i have a dead dad and if he could deal with it (whatever happens after death) so can i. it’s the equivalent of feeling better about cliff diving after your friend does it. it’s like…we are holding hands as we walk into the next stage of our part in the universe, and it’s okay if we don’t have to do it alone <3

matter cannot be created or destroyed - pretty self explanatory but the idea that my life and death follows a natural cycle in which parts of me (if not my consciousness) continue to live on extremely comforting to me. i am become mulch

the fantasy game - your brain is so good at conjuring bad thoughts. time for your best case thoughts. this basically counteracts the catastrophizing part of distorted thoughts caused by anxiety disorders. what’s your ideal after-death scenario? i like to think of being everywhere, not thinking but not not-existing, just being a completely integrated part of the fabric of the universe, and being fully and totally at peace with place in everything :) the goal here isn’t to come up with something “realistic”, it’s to put a few thoughts other than BAD BAD SCARY SCARY SCARY into your brain for once

it means something - i really struggle with the concept of meaninglessness. it helps to remind myself that if my life is meaningful even to myself, in a purely constructed meaning, that’s enough. there doesn’t have to be some grand plan for us all for it to be worth it. it’s enough to just enjoy this 1 in several trillion chance you’ve got at being Alive

we live in a society - i have wished multiple times that humanity was a hivemind for several reasons, but this unfortunately not being the case doesn’t erase the fact that we are a collective group of animals that share a lot of feelings. there are other people just as scared as you. it sounds like total bullshit, but you genuinely are not alone in this. find community in your misery

part 2: practicality (aka for when the brain doesn’t want to listen to you)

skydive - probably not the best choice if your fear is of dying, at least not without a lot of preparing and exposure therapy, but in my totally unprofessional opinion it is scientifically impossible to be afraid of a nebulous concept when flying through the air like a bird in a weird outfit. next question. (in all seriousness, you need to move your body so you don’t forget you exist right now. get up and stretch. take a breath. do a little dance in the rain)

go to sleep - if you’re experiencing this at 2am there is your problem. try your best to get some shut-eye because i guarantee it won’t feel as bad in the morning. I’ve had a meltdown at 3am only to forget how to be scared of something by sunrise too many times

buddy system - sometimes you just need to cry and have someone tell you it’s okay, even if you don’t believe them. for me it’s my mom, for you it could be anyone you trust. often it helps to find someone whose been where you are and has come out on the other side okay

do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive - if you have crippling fomo about the future it can really help to do something you’ve always wanted to. it’s one less thing left to fit into your life, which has about a billion other opportunities out there if you ever run out of ideas

distract yourself - okay, like…ignoring anxiety isn’t good! i get it! but when something has been addressed over and over and keeps standing in your doorway like a sleep paralysis demon of anxious thoughts it has lost its right to an audience. whatever occupies your brain is good. books, crosswords, your favourite show, etc. don’t fuel the thoughts by engaging with them if that doesn’t help you. if im getting overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing i can do for myself is put the problem in a file in my brain for later and go play skyrim (lmao)

that’s all for now but if anyone has anything to add please feel free! this list is incomplete

there are a finite number of sunrises to be seen for everyone, but there are so many. there are enough

#the you im referring to is in fact myself this post is entirely self-motivated #but i do hope it may help anyone who happens to see it with the same sorta thought processes as me lol #death anxiety #thanatophobia #etc etc etc #girl moment #oh yeah here’s that post I mentioned btw haha

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spencersawkward · 3 years

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*concussions and confessions//spencer reid*

summary: a near-death experience encourages Spencer to admit his feelings for his best friend, even at the risk of ruining their relationship.

pairing: Fem!Reader/Spencer

content warnings: oh boy there’s a lot. i’ll start with the nonsexual ones-- choking (again, not sexual), blunt force, violence, some angst. ok time for the fun ones-- unprotected penetrative sex, masturbation, sex dream, oral (male receiving), slight dirty talk, creampie. lmk if there are more that i missed!

word count: 5.4k

A/N: hi omg so i actually combined two requests for this bc i loved the concepts and i didn't wanna do one and not the other. i hope i do both of these justice hehe thanks for sending them! also sorry if the unsub scene sucks-- i don’t usually write that way, so i tried my best.

request(s): omg if you need ideas for baby spence can you do a one shot where he's the girls best friend (she's not in the bau) and they are in love but neither of them admit it and he is really hurt in a case or almost dies or something traumatic and only when he gets back they confess their love... and then have sex 😏 ive been thinking about this concept alot 😌

can’t stop thinking about baby spencer (like s2-s4) & his girl best friend losing their virginity to each other... can you write a one shot on this please?

masterlist

"when are you coming back?" you ask over the line. you're lying on your bed, legs in the air while you talk to your best friend. it's been a long day for you, but a longer day for him. it's always a longer day for him.

"you know that I don't know the answer to that question." Spencer's voice is soft as he attempts to keep quiet. he's two hours ahead and, despite the fact that you're both night owls, the person he's rooming with tonight isn't.

"I know, but there's this Korean film festival that starts tomorrow and I was hoping you would be here to translate for me." you examine your nails while you talk. Spencer lets out a disappointed sigh.

it's only been a few days since he left, but it's been a week since you last saw him and it feels like a long time. whenever he's not at work, you two are joined at the hip. ever since you first met a few years back at a poetry convention in DC, it feels like he's the only person who understands you. which is weird, because you couldn't be more different as individuals.

"you should bring one of your other friends."

"bold of you to assume I have other friends." you joke. Spencer chuckles to himself and your heart flutters. you love his laugh more than anything in the world.

"I thought that was just me." he says.

"oh, it is just you," you reply flatly. "I was trying to make you feel better."

you can practically feel Spencer smiling through the phone. although you tease him pretty frequently, he's sometimes able to get in his own shots. it's what makes your friendship interesting.

"hey," you add before he can say anything more. "how's the case going?"

Spence starts to detail the whole thing, and you listen intently, the timbre and smoothness of his voice comforting you as you slip beneath the covers of your bed. you like the way he enunciates his words, his strange manner of speaking, because it lulls you to sleep.

you know he's talking about horrible things, but something about the sound comforts you deeply. when he's not around, you're wishing you had it bottled up.

he lays out their profile as it stands, and you fall silent. it's getting pretty late and you have to be up early for work tomorrow, so it would be a good idea to get some real rest. plus, Spencer needs to sleep, too-- even though he probably won't.

you remember times when he'd call you at three in the morning, his mind whirring as he played chess against himself and asked if you wanted to hang out so he could teach you how. you hate chess, but of course you said yes; you'd been head over heels with him since your first conversation.

eventually, you feel yourself start to drift off. you don't even really know what he's saying; all of it blends together until you're laying there, one cheek pressed to the pillow and the receiver against the other.

"Y/N?" he says your name abruptly and your eyes, which have been slowly drawing shut this whole time, fly open.

"yeah?"

"go to bed."

"what? no, I'll wait until you're done." you shift.

"I could hear your breathing change."

"then why didn't you just hang up?" you giggle. he goes silent for a moment and you wonder if he cut out, but then he responds.

"I wanted to say goodnight."

it's like a cage of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach. you wrinkle your nose as you get nervous. god, you miss him. things would be so much better if he was back. not like he'd be in your bed even if he was, though.

"then say goodnight." you prod. he lets out an awkward little sound.

"now I can't because you made it weird."

"how did I make it weird?"

"I don't know, you just did." he's so clumsy, your face heats up. you want to keep talking like this until morning.

"goodnight, Spence," the words sound reluctant, but you try to cover it up by teasing him further. "see, was that so bad?"

"oh my god, Y/N--" he tries to sound exasperated.

"no goodnight back?" you raise an eyebrow even though he can't see you right now.

a lengthy silence again. "goodnight."

"that's what I thought." before he can protest, you end the call, settle into the covers. moonlight beams on the walls of your apartment, and you start to think about your best friend. about all the nights spent curled up on his couch with two bowls of popcorn, his ramblings about how much he loves his job and him asking about yours.

he's a great listener. every time you talk, he nods along like he's hanging off every word. it's nice to feel heard that way, to have someone care. and he's fun to hang out with, too. you've met his team before and they all talk about how hard it is to get him to go out, but they don't see the same side of him that you do.

Spencer is nerdy and cute and kind and sensitive. he makes you feel special. he's everything that you've ever wanted in a person. but it's not like it would matter, anyway. he hasn't really shown interest in any girls-- much less you. even if he did, you're scared of ruining the friendship.

the fallout of not having him around at all... it would destroy you. and something, even if it's torturous, is better than nothing.

which is why, as you sit there and remember being around him, your fingertips creep below the comforter. a familiar routine, they move over your stomach, until they reach the waistband of your panties. for a moment, you hesitate. it's wrong. he's your best friend. but he doesn't need to know that this is how you handle the ache he puts between your legs.

as your index finger slides down your slit, you feel the wetness already forming. Spencer's hands, his mouth. the thought of his lips pressed to yours while he fucks you, holding your body like it's delicate.

you don't know exactly how it would feel because you've never had sex, but you want to find out with him. he's never done it, either. you don't care; all you need is to have him inside of you, to see how he looks when he's on the edge.

your mind wanders to the image of him parting your legs and rolling his eyes into the back of his head. the sensation of him filling you up. falling apart.

you slide a finger inside, gasping at the way your walls tighten and your imagination runs wild. that tongue, lapping and making you squirm, your fingers twisted in his soft hair. he's so sweet; his attentiveness would make your legs shake. you want to look into his eyes while he does it.

you add a second finger, curl them and brush over the most sensitive part. the pressure of his hips grinding into yours. your body curves up at the way you start to finger yourself, the other hand stimulating your clit. it's almost overwhelming, the way his name tumbles from your lips over and over.

you've never wanted someone so badly in your life; he belongs in your bloodstream. the sounds he would make in your ear before finally cumming and collapsing on top of you, spent. you want to tire him out and then do it all over again.

you're greedy on the edge, indulging in every single image of him you can conjure up, every dirty thing you'd say. finally, you feel yourself fall, the orgasm intense as you bite back groans of pleasure and work through the high. it's amazing.

you sit there, panting, feeling your heart beat in your chest. some things can't leave your head, they're so sinful. and the worst part is that you don't regret it in the slightest.

...

Spencer can feel his pulse practically leaping against his throat as he makes his way through the empty warehouse. he should have waited for backup; he knows he should have, but it's too late now to go back and change things.

he clutches his gun, pointing it in front of him while his eyes flicker wildly across the space. he's moving between enormous aisles stuffed with crates, not knowing who else is around. they said the unsub brought his newest victim here-- Spencer came first because was closest to the site-- but he hears nothing aside from the uneven rhythm of his own breath.

every step is careful. he's thinking about how close the rest of the team must be. based on their distance from the station, they should arrive within six minutes-- but that doesn't account for the time it takes to put on their bulletproof vests, to get to their cars.

truthfully, he doesn't know if he's going to have to do this on his own. and that scares him the most.

there's no point in worrying. he swallows the lump in his throat and presses his back to one of the crates. there's a scraping noise a ways off that causes him to freeze. because of the echoes of the warehouse, the origin is indiscernible. he doesn't breathe, eyes darting between each of the openings into the aisle.

after a minute of pure silence, he peels himself away and turns to head back out.

and that's when the sound of wood cracking against bone startles him; he hears it before he feels it, but it's obvious when he crumples to the floor. like knife points pressing into his brain at all angles, the shooting agony in his skull.

he starts to clutch at his head, only to be yanked off the ground by a meaty hand and thrown against the side of a crate.

"fucking feds." the guy is enormous. gargantuan. he keeps his arm across Reid's throat, pressing down enough to restrict his airway. but Spencer can't even concentrate on the guy's face further than its rough outlines. his vision is going in and out, fuzzy at the edges from the blow to his head.

he definitely has a concussion.

"I..." he trails off. the huge FBI logo on his vest is a dead giveaway.

"all alone?" the unsub has breath like rotten fish, spits each word into his face. "I won't even need my gun."

Spencer's head lolls to the side and he catches sight of his own weapon lying helplessly a few feet away. there's no way he could get to it in time, even if he got out of this guy's chokehold.

he tries to think of a way to talk himself out of this; after all, their profile said he'd be more susceptible to negotiation, but that's kind of hard to do with someone's forearm slammed against your trachea. he presses harder and Spencer sees stars. his glasses hang almost off the bridge of his nose, centimeters from falling to the floor.

he starts to realize that he's going to die, defenseless and alone, in a warehouse. at the hands of a man who kills women because his Viagra doesn't work. but this doesn't incite the kind of panic Spencer always predicted he'd feel. the lack of oxygen in his brain causes him to go delirious.

he misses home. his mom and his old house, even though things were hard. he misses Y/N, his team members. he wishes his team was here; he should have waited for them. he should have told Y/N how he feels. now she's never going to know.

Reid is so out of it, he doesn't even notice the pressure being relieved from his throat until he collapses on the ground. the unsub falls, too, his cheek smashed by the force of the abandoned wooden plank.

it's hard to tell what's happening until Reid lifts his head to see Morgan standing above him, preparing to handcuff the criminal.

"kid," Spencer never thought he'd be so glad to hear his voice. "what happened?"

...

you practically crash into Spencer's apartment the next evening, flinging your body through the front door with your spare key.

"Spence?" you call out from the entryway. everything still looks the same, but when his colleague, Penelope, called you today to tell you that Reid had gotten a concussion after a run-in with an unsub, you rushed here as soon as you could.

"in here." he calls from his bedroom. you don't hesitate, your feet carrying you there. you've been anxious all day; he didn't call last night or even text like usual. you were on the verge of panicking when Penelope called.

of course, you knew that was the risk with Spencer. he knew the risk, too. his life would always be in the balance when it came to the cases, but he'd gone through so many at this point, you weren't thinking about it. if you did, you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else.

when you walk in, the first thing you see is Spencer laying in bed in his silk pjs. there's a stack of unread books on his bedside table. his glasses sit on top. he's just laying there with his eyes closed.

"oh my god." you mutter, dropping your bag on the floor and walking over. he opens his eyes with a slight smile. there's a purple bruise forming across his throat, light but definitely there.

"hi."

"what the fuck happened?" you ask the question you've been wondering the whole way here.

"he hit me with a plank." Spencer explains, the phrase coming out like he's still confused about it. "I'm fine, just a mild concussion and a bruise because he choked me."

you take a second to assess if he actually means that he's okay, or if he's trying not to worry you. he stares at your expression for a second.

"Y/N, I'm really fine."

"you don't look fine." you gesture to the fact that he's laying in bed.

"my body is sore, but nothing's wrong with me. I just can't look at screens or read." this last part makes him much more melancholy, it seems. you reach down and ruffle his hair playfully.

"sounds like a nightmare."

"it is." he cracks up.

"I'm glad you're okay." you sigh. your heart rate has slowed to a reasonable pace now that you know he's fine. Spencer gives a ghost of a smile, and when he pats the empty spot on the bed beside him, you kick off your shoes and climb over his body to sit down. "so... did you guys get him?"

"the unsub?" he turns his head to look at you. something is in his eyes that you can't read. "yeah, he's in custody. we saved the girl he abducted, too."

"well, aren't you a hero?" you grin, pinching his arm.

"ow!" he flinches. "don't hurt the patient."

"oh, so now you're injured?" you giggle softly. his smile fades a bit, gaze trailing from your face to your legs. it isn't lustful or anything, more like he's taking in your existence. it still makes your heart flutter.

"I wasn't really a hero, anyway," he sighs. "I got knocked down before I even found her."

"oof." you wince.

"yeah, it's sort of embarrassing. I went in by myself and--"

"you went by yourself?" you clarify, turning to face him. of course he did.

"yeah." he avoids your gaze.

"Spencer, I work in a stationery shop and I know you're supposed to wait for backup." you deadpan. he snorts, staring straight ahead at the wall. his hair is flat in the back from where he's been resting it against the headboard.

"he would have hurt her if I had waited." he explains. your heart softens a bit at this. you know Spencer has a problem with saving people; sometimes he doesn't think things through. but you know that it's only because he cares.

you smile gently, appreciating what a beautiful person he is. you don't understand how other people don't see him how you do. your hand reaches for his suddenly, and you find yourself snuggling into his shoulder.

Spencer doesn't usually like touch, but he welcomes this, dropping his own head to rest on top of yours while you both stare at the wall. his silence feels heavy, more than it usually does, and you wonder what he's thinking.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Spencer." your tone is low, like it's a secret.

"you already said that."

"shut up."

"you care about me." he sing-songs with a smile, and you know he means it in a friendly way, but you don't care. it brings warmth to your cheeks.

"whatever. you care about me, too."

he lets out a slight chuckle. "when I started to black out, I thought of you."

your heart leaps, even though the reason is pretty dark. "oh, yeah?"

"mhmm." he hums.

"nobody's ever told me that they thought of me in their last moments of life before." you tease. there are so many things you'd like to say, but know you can't. he smells like himself and coffee beans, his skin warm beneath the silk of his pajamas.

"I'd hope not."

"anything in particular?" you wonder aloud.

"what?" you feel him tense beneath you, and that's how you know there's something he's not telling you.

"were you thinking about anything in particular?"

"someone's full of themselves." he jokes. you smack his arm.

"humor me." more than anything, you want to hear his thoughts. you know you're reaching, but you don't care.

"just..." he pauses, the next words coming out almost too quietly to hear. "things I never got to say to you."

"like?" now you're intrigued.

"no way." he laughs and you groan, turning and realizing that you've both sunk deeper onto the bed and are now practically lying down.

"c'mon," you prod. you've flipped onto your side while you watch him, his eyes directed at the ceiling. "what if you'd actually died?"

Spencer gives you a look, and you wish you could snap a picture of his face. the gentle features, the warmth in his eyes. he stares at you differently than before, and it makes your stomach flip again. "I, um."

you start to trace your index absently down his forearm, where his sleeve has incidentally gotten rolled up. his skin is soft. you know that this isn't a friendly thing to do, but something inside you craves his touch right now. you almost lost him; you can't imagine how horrible that would be.

"I wanted to say that I--" he gulps, muscles in his shoulder tight beneath your cheek. "well, I care about you, and I... I really love you."

it's not the first time he's said it, obviously in a platonic sense. what affects you is that he's acting like it's a big deal.

"I love you too, Spence." you smile softly. his chest rises and falls faster, his face tensed.

"no, I mean--" he turns onto his side, using the action to distract from his own nervousness. he holds your gaze and you forget how to breathe as he speaks. every syllable is serious, but you note his fingers fidgeting at his side. "I'm in love with you."

it's like all the air in the room has been sucked out. you swallow, unsure of how to react at first. you don't believe what you're hearing, simply because it doesn't make sense. you've been friends for a while, now, but Spencer has never made a move to ask you out or acted like he wanted anything more.

your heart swells.

"you're in love with me?" the words even feel surreal on your tongue. he takes it as rejection.

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Spencer rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, his expression turning to a cringe. he's about to sit up to hide the red in his cheeks, but you pull him back down by the shoulder.

"not so fast, crazy boy." the corners of your mouth are turning up into a grin. you can't help it; every nerve in your body is alive. Spencer loves you. he feels the same way.

when he sinks back down onto the mattress and sighs, preparing to say something that rescinds the statement to erase any awkwardness, you grab his face and turn it to yours. you don't kiss him, only force him to look.

"I'm in love with you, too."

his eyebrows fly up in surprise. "r-really?"

"yes." you nod.

he takes a second to process this. you see about five different expressions pass over his face, each one reminding you of how earnest he is. and it's absolutely adorable.

"well, that's good, isn't it?" he clarifies. you pretend to think on it.

"I'd say so, yeah."

he smiles. a genuine, rare one that makes your veins feel as if they're full of glitter. you're on Cloud 9.

"can I kiss you?" you ask him quietly. he seems surprised at this, too, like he never thought you'd want that, but then nods eagerly.

you close the gap between you on the bed, holding his jaw in one hand while the other rests on his forearm. your lips meet softly at first. he's cautious, scared of pushing you away. he hasn't kissed many people before. but he's good at it, letting you take the lead.

there's no way to adequately describe kissing Spencer. every bone in your body turns to mush, immediately craving more contact. you slide your tongue across his full bottom lip, and he lets you in. his affection is the most loved you've ever felt. because sure, you haven't had sex, but you've kissed people before.

never like this.

one of his hands goes up to wrap around your forearm tenderly before he shifts to lie on his side. you wrap around each other, turning the kiss into a full-body embrace as you breathe in. you want more. your leg swings over his torso so you can pull yourself closer, and he groans into your mouth when your pelvis presses against his.

the kiss gets more heated, his hands carefully but hungrily traveling down the curve of your waist. you flip so that you're straddling him without breaking any contact.

you don't really think about the way your hips begin to rock against his, your pussy involuntarily working for friction. there are so many happy chemicals in your brain right now, you giggle against his mouth when his body bucks up into yours. he groans.

"Y/N..." he breathes softly. his hands move from your waist to your thighs, afraid to dig his fingertips in.

"what?" you sigh, licking over his bottom lip again. he moans at the way you keep grinding on his erection.

"I wanna--" his eyelashes flutter when he gasps. "I wanna touch you."

"do it." your palm is resting tenderly against his cheek. he responds by finally holding you down, sliding his body up a bit to grind against your center. you whine. "touch whatever you want, Spencer."

his cock twitches in his pants and you push the hem of his shirt up while he uses one hand to massage your tits. the voracious, curious nature of his attention makes you sigh, touching his stomach. he feels perfect beneath you.

soon you're grabbing at each other without any regard for grace. he's so horny, he's pawing at whatever he can while you do the same to him. the kissing gives way to straight panting while you look at each other.

"can I suck your dick?" you whisper. Spencer's eyes widen. you've never seen him nod so fast.

you press your mouth to his one more time before inching down his body, sucking on his clavicle, then his stomach. careful to avoid the purple marks on his neck. he watches you intently, memorizing the details of this moment for later. when you reach the waistband of his pants, you peek up. he strains against the material.

your mouth drops open and you draw your tongue over the clothed bulge, maintaining eye contact. Spencer throws his head back. his voice is high. "oh my god, oh my god."

you smirk, licking it again. he clenches his jaw. "I'm gonna c-cum if you don't--" he tries for words, but he's mewling and moving against your mouth. you pull at his pants, hooking your fingers in his boxers and bringing them down, too.

Spencer bucks into the air when his cock hits his stomach. it's big, precum leaking helplessly out of the tip while he whines. you want him now.

"wow." you smile. he stares at you, tensing his stomach as you wrap your hand around his length. he's trying to keep quiet, but as soon as you spit on it and start to pump him, his head falls back into the pillow.

you draw your tongue up the underside, paying special attention to the veins, reveling in his reactions. he looks like he's ascending to heaven when you start to suck on the first couple inches.

"o-oh, fuck..." he keeps moving his hips off the bed for more, so you sink down further onto him, hollowing your cheeks and moaning. "Y/N..."

you groan in response, feeling yourself get wetter with every sound he makes. you can't believe this is happening, the way he threads his fingers loosely through your hair in an attempt to touch more of you.

he tries to keep his eyes open while you suck, but they squint with pleasure. he's a mess for you, shuddering gently when you take nearly all of him into your mouth.

before he can cum, you pull your mouth off of him with a satisfying pop. Spencer moans.

"was that okay?" you ask carefully. this is the extent of your sexual experience, and you want to do more with him, but you aren't sure how he feels. your best friend stares back at you like you've turned his world upside down.

"y-yeah," he replies. his face is flushed. "definitely okay."

he's throbbing, occasionally twitching against his stomach as he waits for more stimulation. you eye him carefully.

"what do you feel comfortable doing?" your voice is smooth. "we can stop now, if you'd like."

"I--" he chokes on the word. "I don't wanna stop."

"do you want to have sex?" you ask. Spencer bites his lip, whines.

"mhmm."

"I wanna do that, too," you breathe out, straightening up and pulling your shirt over your head, unclasping your bra, before getting to work on your shorts. you know you're practically dripping. he's been more vocal, but you feel like you're going to implode from the desire. "but I need to tell you something."

"what?" he tugs your arm, coaxing you back to him and touching you greedily. you giggle as you kick your shorts and panties off somewhere in the room. both of you move like awkward teenagers.

"I'm a virgin." you say.

Spencer frowns. "really?"

"yeah," you lick your lips. "so you need to be careful."

"o-of course." he blushes, getting nervous again. "you know I'm a virgin too, right?"

"I know." you smile. he returns it sweetly, and the commotion of your bodies slows for a moment. you're so happy, you could cry.

"what?" he breaks the comfortable silence.

"I'm excited," you shrug. he's got his hands on your waist, rubbing his fingertips over your skin. then you remember something. "wait, are you allowed to have sex with your... injury?"

"it's fine." he reaches up and kisses your throat with an urgency.

"did the doctor say that?" your eyes roll while he sucks on your neck. he groans and pulls down on your waist so that your stomach presses against his cock. he ruts.

"second opinion from me." he pants. you tap his cheek playfully, move up his body until your core brushes him. he whimpers when you reach between your bodies and grip his length in your hands.

"you ready?" your voice is low. Spencer squeezes your thighs, eyes moving between your tits and your face.

"yes." he sighs. you position it, slicking him in your pussy while he wraps an arm around your waist and moans for more. your chests are pressed together, looking into each other's eyes while you slide him into you.

you have to go slow, the intrusion causing your jaw to drop. you don't breathe. he's got his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Spencer." you whimper, dropping your head onto his chest when he's fully inside of you. his fingers rub patiently over your back.

"are you okay?" his voice is laced with a moan, trying to resist thrusting.

"yeah, just a second." you wiggle a little bit to test the boundaries. it hurts, but it also feels good. your clit is begging for more pressure, so you start to roll your hips. Reid moans loudly.

"Y/N..." he whimpers. "don't stop."

"you want more?" the need in his voice makes you hornier, and you increase the pace, despite the slight pain. you're so wet, he slides in and out without much effort.

"so-- much more." he's gasping, hands on your thighs as he watches your naked body writhe on top of him. he's never been more aroused in his life, spurred on by your scent and form and the tightness that keeps clenching around his cock.

he understands why people love sex so much, now. he wants it every day, wants to fuck you in every position and pleasure you. the sounds you release in his ear, whines and praises, he would do anything for more. walk to the ends of the earth to feel you cum on his cock.

his hand finds your ass, squeezes it.

"this feel good, Spence? fucking your best friend?" you talk dirty and he twitches. you're always so sweet, the words coming out of your mouth for him are going to send the genius into a tailspin.

"mhmm," he holds you down so that he can thrust up. speaking at all is a struggle with the way he's feeling. "perfect."

you start to say something else, but he hits a certain angle and you let out a quiet yelp, hips jumping at the pleasure. "I'm gonna cum."

Spencer gets a rush of relief because it's taking everything in him right now not to absolutely lose it inside your pussy. he's hanging on by a thread. "me, too."

you use your position on top to stimulate yourself. both of you chase your orgasms roughly, the rhythm you created degenerating into clawing excitement.

"cum inside me, Spencer." you beg him. it sounds like you would do anything to feel it, that sensation that you've never experience but have always imagined. and Spencer, his own head foggy with ecstasy, nods and opens his mouth to let out a loud groan.

"Y/N, fuck fuck fuck-- I'm--" he shoots his load inside of you, rutting wildly and letting his head drop onto the pillow while he pants. you can feel it. strange, lovely jolts of his seed spreading. your hands, which have been resting on his shoulders, tighten and you reach your climax. you flutter around him, both of you still moving to ease the intensity of the high.

it's remarkable. you're crying out, having the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. you never thought your first time would be like this. but you're glad it is, muscles tightening and releasing with the mixture of emotions.

you collapse fully, him still inside.

neither of you speaks. his heartbeat thuds against your ear, and you hold onto him like letting go would be the end of the world. you can't believe you could have lost him. you don't want to think about it.

"sorry I came so fast." Spencer apologizes breathlessly. you can feel his cum dripping down your entrance when he slides out.

"I don't care." you mumble. both of you stay there for a while, his heartbeat changing to a pace that reminds you of genuine excitement. like a hummingbird.

"we can try again, sometime." he offers. you lift your head to rest your chin on his chest. his skin is flushed, pupils dilated, hair messy. such a pretty boy.

"we should try multiple times."

he gives you a cheerful smile, and everything starts to fall into place. you took each other's virginity. "Y/N?"

he likes to say your name, and you love to hear it. "yes?"

"are we dating?" the bluntness of the question makes you giggle. you don't hesitate.

"yeah."

“good.”

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed!): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm @xoxomgg

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #baby spence #mgg #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler

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ink-system · 3 years

Text

Learn a Lesson

a/n: Titles(derogatory) Hope this isn’t too ooc for them this is my first mcyt fic ive written please be nice/lh

word count: 3155

tw: anxiety?

“Oh, Ranbooooo!”

Said half enderman squeaked at the sound of Wilbur’s voice echoing throughout the house. He was so screwed, he was so screwed, he was so-

“Found ya!” the brunet popped up behind Ranboo, seemingly out of nowhere. The taller of the two shrieked and jumped away.

“Uh- sorry I didn’t mean t-” before the half enderman could finish his apology Wilbur cut him off with a poke to his side. At the sudden contact he jumped away again and gently slapped his hand away.

“Ah-! Sorry, I didn’t mean to do thAT-”

At the start of another unnecessary apology, Wilbur once again poked his side. ��What have I said about apologizing when you don’t need to, Ranboo?”

“...Not to-” he looked down at the ground, worried he actually made Wilbur upset.

WIlbur spoke in a very playful and teasy tone. He wanted to make it obvious he was joking, knowing that the other struggles a bit with discerning between serious and teasy at times. “Exactly, not to. So now I gotta teach you a lesson, Ranboo!”

Upon hearing Wilbur’s tone, Ranboo calmed down a bit. It always helped when someone’s intentions were made more clear to him. That still didn’t stop him getting slightly anxious from anticipation and stammering out apologies to WIlbur.

With each step that Wilbur took towards Ranboo, the latter’s apologies became more and more sprinkled with giggles.

“Ranboo, Ranboo, Ranboo… how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t. Apologize. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you wanted this! Do you know what I’m gonna do, hmmm?”

The taller recognized that tone all too well, but still denied knowing “N-nohot really. Sorry-”

Wilbur gave Ranboo a pointed look before smirking slightly “Why are you giggling then? If you have absolutely no idea what I’m gonna do, why are you giggling from what I’m assuming is anticipation.” As the brunet spoke he took a few more steps closer to Ranboo, wiggling his fingers in his direction as he did so.

“Uhum- you look funny! W-wait I’m sorry that was rUDE-!”

The younger of the two squeaked as he got picked up and thrown over the older’s shoulder in order to be carried to another room.

“Wilbur! Let me goooo,” Ranboo whined, not putting up any resistance despite his protesting words. Even though he could probably easily get away because of his height and Wilbur not keeping that tight of a grip on him, he just- didn’t move at all.

“You know I can’t do that,” he said ‘solemnly’ before squeezing the younger’s knees. He relished in the way Ranboo squealed before lightly kicking his legs. He knows he’s supposed to be an evil ler at that point in time but the kid was far too adorable to make it easy for Wilbur to keep it up.

After a few more moments of walking Wilbur reached his room and gently placed Ranboo onto the bed. As soon as Ranboo was lying on the bed Wilbur sat on his upper thighs, using his weight to pin the younger down as best as he could.

With the knowledge that he was stuck until Wilbur decided to let him go, Ranboo’s anticipatory giggles increased in pitch. “Wihilbuhur! I’m sohorry- gehet off-!!”

Wilbur looked down at the other with a slight smile and wiggled his fingers again, “Ranboooo, I’m gonna getcha! I’m gonna tickle tickle tickle you!”

Upon hearing the brunet’s teases the half enderman’s face flushed which led to him covering his face. “Shuhut up-! W-wait I’m sorRY-!” he was once again cut off by Wilbur, this time from him poking the taller in the ribs. However, this time he didn’t stop after a single poke.

“Okay, how about this? Everytime you apologize is another minute I get to tickle you, does that sound fair to you?”

“Whahat?! Noho! Thahat’s meheahan!”

“And you’re being mean to yourself, have we got a deal?”

Ranboo peaked between his fingers to look at Wilbur before quickly covering his eyes again. He was somewhat apprehensive about it, despite knowing that the older would never push him too far. “Uhum…”

“Okay, wait, new deal. Every time you apologize is still a minute I get to tickle you, but you get to pick the spot. Does that sound better to you?” Despite the tickling being a ‘punishment’ for Ranboo apologizing too much, Wilbur didn’t want to make the other uncomfortable.

The taller of the two’s genuine concern made Ranboo feel more at ease and calm. He shyly nodded, hands still covering his blushing face.

At the half enderman’s permission, Wilbur’s face lit up before he took on his ‘evil ler’ persona again. “You’re gonna regret giving me permission to do anything I want for… let’s say fifteen minutes. It’s gonna tickle tickle tickle so much.”

“S-stohop sahayihing thahat wohord!”

“What word? Tickle?”

The current lee whined through his laughter “Stohohohop!”

“Ranboo, I asked you a simple question. Should I stop saying tickle?”

“Yehes!” he peeked through his hands to look at Wilbur.

“But it’s so much fun to say! It’s such a cute word too! C’mon Ranboo say it with me, tickle!”

Said male frantically shook his head in response to Wilbur. “Dohon’t wanna!”

“Oh and I almost forgot to ask! Ranboo, pick a spot!” This was actually one of Wilbur’s favorite things to do with Ranboo, even when he was ‘teaching him a lesson’. Ranboo loved it too, despite how flustering it was for him.

Through his frantic giggles, he whined an answer out for Wilbur, the problem was that Wilbur was feeling particularly mean that day. He wanted a clear answer from the half enderman. Did he know he was being mean? Yes, absolutely. Did he think Ranboo’s reaction was too adorable to pass up? Also yes.

“Sorry, what was that? Didn’t quite catch it through all your adorable little giggles there.”

The younger one whined once again, “Stohop behihing meheahan!”

“Ranboo. Remember our agreement?”

The taller of the two pouted before once again muttering, “...sihides…”

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” he stopped lightly poking his ribs and instead began to squeeze his sides. Ranboo’s giggles grew a bit louder at the change in spots.

“Ihit wahas vehery hahard!”

Wilbur continued to squeeze his sides, lightening his touch a bit. “Hmm, what a pity.”

At the feeling of the lighter squeezing the younger’s laughter once again increased in volume. Wilbur knew, and loved, that Ranboo was sensitive to lighter tickles. It tickled the taller of the two a considerable amount more than rougher tickles did and it caused him to let out some of the cutest giggles Wilbur had ever heard.

“Wihill! Nohoho!” Ranboo kicked his legs out as much as he could under Wilbur’s weight. Which, being completely honest, wasn’t that much despite how long his legs are. Although, because of his height, he could’ve easily gotten away, which Wilbur pointed out.

“Aww, Ranboo! You’re such a good lee for me! You’re barely even squirming, it’s adorable!” Upon hearing the cooing praises the enderman hybrid whined through his giggles, squirming from side to side more.

“Nohoho! Wihihill, stohop behihing meheahan!,” Ranboo whined through his giggles, squirming once again, increasing a bit.

“You know how to get me to stop, Genderman.”

Ranboo grumbled, half from Wilbur being mean and half from confusion. “Gehendehermahan?”

The older of the two chuckled, “Yeah, Genderman. Anything wrong with that nickname?”

“Ihit’s weheird! Wahaihit, thahat wahas ruhude! Ihim sohorry-!”

WIlbur gave the other a sharp look, although it lost its impact from the soft smile on the brunet’s face. “Aww, c’mon Ranboo! That’s another minute of tickles for ya!”

“Wahaihit, noho! Wihilbuhur! I dihidn’t meheahan ihit!” the enderman hybrid finally moved his hands from his face, instead going to grab at WIlbur’s hands. At Ranboo grabbing his hands, Wilbur gasped in fake offense.

“You got another 13 minutes now, Ranboo! Now, pick another spot.”

The half enderman shook his head while giggling “Noho! Dohon’t wahanna!”

Wilbur chuckled quietly. “Ranboo, pick a spot or I will.” Upon hearing this, the younger of the two quickly shook his head and giggled louder. “Buhut thahat’s meheahan! Stohop beheihing meheahan!”

“Then pick a spot! C’mon you can do it Ranboo, I believe in you.”

The half enderman didn’t say anything for a few moments, instead grumbling through his giggles. Something about Wilbur being a bully. After a few moments he quietly giggled out, “Stohomahach?”

Wilbur almost died on the spot. How was this 8’5 half enderman so adorable?

“Aww, the cutie wants tummy tickles?” the brunet cooed. Wilbur skittered his fingers all over the younger’s belly. Ranboo’s giggles increased in both volume and pitch, much to the delight of Wilbur. The enderman hybrid began actually squirming now, not because he really wanted to but because the sensations were more intense.

“Wihilby! I cahan’t!”, Ranboo kicked his legs and shook his head, messing up his already messy hair even more. He had a grip on Wilbur’s hands but didn’t make any effort to push them away at all.

The brunet’s heart melted at the nickname. He almost had to stop to regain his composure because of the adorable sight before him. Wilbur continued scribbling all over Ranboo’s stomach, although applying a bit more pressure. At the change in intensity Ranboo’s giggles turned to laughter.

“Aww. isn’t that just adorable! A cute little lee that can’t even handle a few tummy tickles~!”

Ranboo’s blush brightened immensely at Wilbur’s teasing. “S-shuhut uhup! Dohon’t sahay thahat wohord!”

Wilbur gasped in fake offense at Ranboo’s words. “Ranboo, you’re gonna regret that!” Wilbur began to slowly and lightly tracing a circle towards the half enderman’s navel. The closer the brunet got to his navel, the more frantic Ranboo’s giggles got.

“Wihilby, dohon’t! Pleheahse!”, one of the taller’s worst spots was his navel, a fact that Wilbur knew very well. Despite Ranboo’s protests, his tail was wagging happily.

“But you’re clearly enjoying this, Ranboo. You can’t lie to me, your tail will give you away!” At the mention of his tail Ranboo’s face flushed even more as he tried to hide the still wagging tail. “Noho, I’m nohot!”

Wilbur hummed in mock agreement, finger still spiraling towards Ranboo’s navel. After a few seconds it reached its intended destination. The brunet’s finger continuously swirled around the enderman hybrid’s navel. Ranboo’s laughter immediately turned hysterical as his squirming increased quite a bit, kicking his legs and squirming from side to side.

“W-WIHILBUHUR! PLEHEAHASE! NAHAHA!” Ranboo shrieked, grabbing at Wilbur’s hand. This time the enderman hybrid did half heartedly push his hand away while arching his back into the tickles.

“What’s wrong, Ranboo? Can’t handle the tickly tickly tickles on your belly button?” the brunet teased in a low voice. The younger’s laughter grew higher in pitch, blush spreading to his ears. “NAHAHA! SHUHUT UHUP!”, Ranboo cackled hysterically. “WAHAIHIT, I’M SOH-” the enderman hybrid cut off his own apology. As much as he was enjoying himself he didn’t want another minute of Wilbur being mean.

Wilbur smiled at Ranboo not finishing his apology, “You’re learning! Looks like this is working, I might just have to do this more often!” The brunet moved from other’s navel to scribbling his nails across Ranboo’s stomach. The younger’s laughter grew a bit quieter at the slightly less intense spot. He stopped squirming as much, not grabbing at Wilbur’s hands anymore, instead once again covering his own face.

Ranboo giggled something incoherent into his hands. “Mind repeating that?”, Wilbur questioned with a dark and teasing voice. “Yehes, I doho!” the half enderman shook his head. He didn't want to say it again, it was too embarrassing.

"Oh? And why not? Do you perhaps need a bit of persuasion?", as he spoke, Wilbur once again slowly swirled his finger towards Ranboo’s navel. The younger's eyes widened as he peeked through his fingers at what Wilbur was doing. Ranboo frantically shook his head, giggling out protests.

“Nohoho! Nohot agahaihin! Wihilby, dohon’t!”, the enderman hybrid withdrew his hands from his face to push at the brunet’s hand that was growing closer to Ranboo’s navel.

“Better tell me what it is you said then, Ranlee,” Wilbur continued to spiral his finger towards the younger’s navel. His finger was getting faster as he went until he was skimming the very outside of Ranboo’s navel. The half enderman frantically giggled out, “Fihine! Fihihine, I’ll sahay! Juhust dohon’t!”

Wilbur stopped spiraling his finger around the younger’s navel, instead gently tracing along his stomach. Not enough to make Ranboo squirm or laugh, just enough for him to melt and giggle contently. “Well? What was it? I'm eagerly awaiting what you have to say.” The enderman hybrid continued holding onto Wilbur’s hands, fidgeting with the older’s fingers. Ranboo was looking off to the side to avoid looking the other in the eyes.

“Uhum… cahan I hahave neheck nihibblehes…?” Ranboo slowly glances over to look at Wilbur, looking to see his reaction.

The brunet was looking down at Ranboo with a wide smile adorning his face, looking very excited. “Aww, of course you can! Now, was that so hard?” Wilbur leaned down towards Ranboo’s neck, listening to the anticipatory, flustered giggles spilling past the younger’s lips. “Yehes, ihit wahas vehery hahard!”, the enderman hybrid was squirming even before the brunet did anything. Wilbur continued to slowly lower his head until it reached Ranboo’s neck. He gently nibbled the younger’s neck, paying attention to the younger’s giggles that were getting increasingly high pitched.

The enderman hybrid instinctively scrunched his neck up like a turtle in a half hearted attempt to block out the tickly sensations. “Wihilbuhur! Noho!” Ranboo giggled out meaningless protests, batting at Wilbur’s head. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt at all, more like a kitten pawing at something.

Despite it not hurting Wilbur at all, he still sat up with a faux offended gasp. “Ranboo! You hit me, and I was being nice ⁹too!”

“I dihidn’t meheahan toho sohoRRY-” the enderman hybrid shrieked. Once again Wilbur cut Ranboo off mid apology, this time with a raspberry. The brunet knew exactly how weak the other was to raspberries, especially on his neck. Ranboo scrunched his neck up and pushed at the older’s head. In response to the enderman hybrid’s attempt to push him away Wilbur blew another raspberry on the younger’s neck.

Ranboo squealed before bursting into hysterical laughter, “NAHAHA! WIHILBY, NOHO!” He gripped the sheets in an effort to not hit Wilbur’s head again.

The older finally had mercy, although not before blowing a few more raspberries on Ranboo’s neck, and sat back up. The enderman hybrid was still giggling from the tickly sensations still present. After a few moments of Ranboo still giggling, Wilbur looked down at the younger and asked, “Ranboo? Are you okay?” genuine concern lacing his voice. The younger continued to giggle for a few more seconds before nodding his head and giggling out a “Yeheah, I’m ohokahay.”

Wilbur warmly smiled at the enderman hybrid before turning it into a teasing smirk. "Ranboo~ your time still isn't up. So you know what that means! Pick another spot!"

The younger began giggling in anticipation once again. "Yohouhu choose," Ranboo giggled. He hid his face in his hands, not wanting to see the teasing look on Wilbur’s face.

"Are you sure you want me to choose Ranboo?" The brunet asked with a teasing lilt in his voice. The enderman hybrid slowly nodded, giggling with anticipation. "Well then, I'll make sure to not disappoint."

Ranboo peeked through his fingers to see what the other was doing. He immediately tensed and began squirming upon seeing where Wilbur’s hands were placed. His hips.

"W-wait- Wihilbuhur, noho! Nohot there!"

"Aww, and why not? You said I should choose so I did! I made sure to choose your favorite spot!"

The younger's giggles increased in pitch "S-shuhut up! It's nohot my favorite!"

Wilbur gasped in fake offense "That was rude! Now I definitely gotta go after your hips. Hmmm… I wonder how I should tickle your hips. Maybe I should squeeze them, or maybe I should scribble my nails all over them! I know how much you love that. Or what if I just barely ghosted my wiggly fingers over your extremely ticklish hips until you were begging me to wreck you?"

Ranboo whined, covering his blushing face. The older teasingly shook his head, "Don’t hide your cute face from me, Ranboo." The taller one shook his head and pressed his hands closer to his face instead.

The brunet playfully and quietly growled before grabbing Ranboo's hands, pinning them above his head. The younger squeaked, giggles once again increasing in pitch.

"Stohop being mehean and just do ihit already!" The enderman hybrid’s squirming increased. Wilbur gasped in fake offense, "Me? Mean? If I was mean would I do this?"

Wilbur quickly let go of Ranboo’s arms and began squeezing the other's hips, relishing in the loud, happy cackles he got in return.

Ranboo's squirming increased, bucking his hips in a vain (and half-hearted) effort to get Wilbur’s hands away from his hips. Ranboo gripped onto the other's hands and squeezed in order to give himself something to focus on besides the intense feeling of the tickles.

"WIHILBUHUR! NAHAHA, GEHET AWAHAY!" Ranboo almost screamed in laughter.

"Aww, now why would I do that? You could push me away if you really wanted to, but you aren't. I wonder why that is…" Wilbur looked at Ranboo with a knowing, teasing grin.

Ranboo shut his eyes, shaking his head in a vain effort to block out the teasing. "YEHEAH, WOHONDEHER WHY!" He knew he could easily get away- he did have two feet of height on Wilbur- he just didn’t want to. Ranboo was enjoying himself, despite his protests that Wilbur could easily see through.

As much as Wilbur (and Ranboo) was having fun he could tell the other was reaching his limit. Although the tickles were a ‘punishment’ he didn’t want to push Ranboo too far. Wilbur was sure the other had learned his lesson for now at the very least. He slowed his hands until he was barely moving them against Ranboo’s hips before eventually stopping altogether and withdrawing his hands.

As soon as Wilbur stopped, Ranboo was gasping for breath while continuing to giggle from the ghost tickles still present on his hips.

“Ranboo, you okay? Need anything?” Wilbur immediately dropped his tough ler act, instead adopting a more caring, brotherly attitude. He gently ran his fingers through Ranboo’s hair in an effort to calm the other down, smiling when Ranboo completely melted at the physical affection.

Ranboo slightly looked up at Wilbur shyly before muttering “Cuddles? Maybe?”

Wilbur quietly awwed and whispered hushed praises at how well the other had done and how he was proud of him. At the praise, cuddles, and Wilbur gently playing with his hair Ranboo fell asleep feeling content and safe.

#i wrote half of this at midnight and didnt proof read it #so fuck me ig #lee!ranboo #ler!wilbur #mcyt tickle #my writing

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