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n7punk · 10 months

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"Trade Today For Tomorrow" (LYUTDIDverse) Fic Notes

Trade Today For Tomorrow and it’s follow-up fic, Check My Chest (Am I Still Breathing?) are done! These were doozies that I kind of went a bit manic writing so it’s good to have them out of my brain lol

Trade Today For Tomorrow (Main fic):

⦁ No epilogue section in the fic notes this time since well, I kind of already wrote that, and also there’s so many endless possibilities to cover I couldn’t narrow it down, but there’s some stuff scattered throughout this fic notes too.

⦁ I posted the playlist ahead of the rest of the fic, but I didn’t actually assemble it until I was like halfway through the main fic because I was going through a major update to my music library at the time. For the first part of the fic, I instead listened to my (semi-generic) heartbreak playlist, which drivers license ended up being pulled from.

⦁ It’s the Temple of the Stars because they’re star-crossed lovers, you get it? Lol, well, only partially. Stars are kind of a thing in my fics, usually something I have be part of Etheria’s religious beliefs inspired by the loss and reappearance of them in canon, so for this fic that just worked out really well.

⦁ I mention “the old lines” of other reincarnating lives and Catra basically offhand thinking this whole process is a hassle and she could understand not redeclaring, but she quickly figures out that in the modern age, holy fuck you want to redeclare. It’s easy to reach out, easy to travel, and without it you will have a lot of difficult passing stuff on. The process is also a lot easier the second time. They have to establish so much when first building a reincarntor’s profile, but after that it’s just keeping it up to date. The old lines that do still exist have figured out ways and mostly are clinging onto not-so-relevant reasons not to come back often (they also haven’t visited in a while and realized how much easier this is now and how much less it makes you like, a political target now its not the feudal era or whatever) but a lot of them have also died out. It’s like immortals: there’s only so much the soul can take, and eventually it won’t want to come back. There is some speculation that there is a finite number of people who can reincarnate. The much-theorized number is there are only 9 reincarnating souls in existence at any one time, but it’s literally impossible to know since they have never had a summary of all the individuals throughout history with the ability and they have no proof even one of them has stopped reincarnating rather than just choosing to go underground and not declare anymore — not to mention someone from 600 years ago could pop up today claiming to be a totally different person and a brand new reincarnation based solely on their last life that no one knows is tied to their original (yes, this has happened, both undetected and speculated, rightfully and wrongfully) which could fudge the numbers. The 9 number is mostly touted due to its religious significance.

⦁ Adora was basically locked down for the rest of Catra’s mortal lifespan. She wasn’t going to move on until any chance of them meeting again was gone. When she had eternity to waste, that was a surprisingly easy commitment to make.

⦁ Adora started wearing her hair down more a bit after Catra left, trying to make changes and distance herself from their relationship. She always thought about Catra teasing her over her ponytail as she put it up, or about how she would take it down when she wanted her hands in her hair. Now she mostly wears it down or half-up with a low ponytail at the back of her head like that one fanart ND Stevenson did.

⦁ Adora is 100% right that Catra leaving saved their eternity together. She wouldn’t have survived Catra’s depression killing her. If Catra had somehow managed to pull herself out of it, they would have had several rocky years, and then the possibility of happiness for a while, but losing Catra even to a natural death would have been it as well: all Adora wanted was a mortal life with her wife, and that’s what she would have gotten. Not knowing when Catra died is what stopped her from having the chance for that grief to hit, no matter when it happened, because it would have always been wondering and then “she’s probably gone” and then “she’s definitely gone,” but it all would have been a slow build.

⦁ Alright, Catra’s moms names. I pretty much immediately knew I wanted cat-related/pun names because that’s very in line with the rest of the names in this universe. Felina comes from the off-brand doll because I thought that was hilarious. Leona is the name meaning lion (brave lioness) that I knew off the top of my head and I poked around at others but ended up settling on it.

⦁ Catra’s “first” word being ‘go’ was because she loved to give orders as a baby. Which was very precious when it was a shockingly cognizant baby being very clear about her wants and needs and then made a lot more sense in retrospect.

⦁ Catra’s parents never told her about the ‘ora ‘ora (Adora) thing after they realized what it was because they thought it might hurt.

⦁ Catra’s parents also, unbeknownst to Catra, did try to use search engines to find Adora pre-social media and didn’t turn her up. They tried again a few years late, but Adora only had a Facebook then and they didnt find it. After that, they didn’t try again since Catra was a teenager and it was up to her if she wanted to try to find her. If her parents had found Adora, they would have had to debate what to do then. It was kind of “we’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it” thing but it never came to it.

⦁ When it comes to Catra’s mental development and making friends, she was in this weird place where she “was forty” but her brain also hadn’t developed to that point. She had stuff like needing to recalibrate her brain’s reward logic and behavior straddling the line of a mature child and, well, an adult. She knew stuff like calculus but suddenly had a lot of trouble wrapping her brain around it. This meant she only related to “other kids” when she was really young and her past life knowledge hadn’t fully come in. Elementary through high school she just didn’t relate to other kids, preferring adults who knew what she was and tolerated her weird in-between behavior. Not a lot of adults want to treat a kid as an equal, after all, and Catra was very much “eight and forty seven,” not just “forty seven.” When she hit college, she finally hit the point where the people around her were maturing enough for her to relate to them even if she was sixty and done developing at that point. She also reached the point where older adults were more willing to hang out with her and see her as equal. All-in-all, the first twenty years or so are kind of rough, but after that point everything evens out.

⦁ Because of her weird place in life, Catra spent a lot of time at the temple, both because she met her tutors there and because she got emotional/psychological counseling there. A lot of Catra’s early life was part of the temple, which is why she petulantly thought it was all too much. In later lives she leans more towards establishing herself there and doing tutoring wherever she happens to be.

⦁ The “things” Catra learned about herself during puberty ranged. It could be stuff like “oh, that’s a normal biological impulse for us, giving into it when it won’t cause problems is actually important for managing stress levels” to ridiculously basic shit like “getting pets is an important serotonin source and you should be getting a minimum” (like hugs) and the really, really embarrassing (like “you didn’t know you have a heat?”). Originally part of Catra’s tirade was “I’m lucky I’m a lesbian” but I excluded that because I couldn’t find a way to phrase it (and make it fit) that was gender inclusive because the real thing is “I’m lucky I’m a lesbian and have only been with you” since it could have caused problems if she had been with a trans woman.

⦁ The rest of the cutoff line “Is Adora-“ is “Is Adora proposing again?”

⦁ The stained-glass window hanging Adora mentions Catra getting her was a gift back when things were good. It was a tableau of the moons and stars. Later, it just became a reminder of the tie between Adora’s immortality and the moonlight, something Catra couldn’t stand to look at. It went from a touching and beautiful gift to something stuffed in a drawer. After she was gone, it was almost as painful to look at as their wedding ring.

⦁ Religion for the magicats is kind of weird. It’s more of a life philosophy than a strict religion. There have been many books written for it, all evolving over time and taking differing stances on certain parts. They don’t exactly have a bible or canon, just general teachings based on their personal beliefs. Their “religion” includes myths, but more in the sense of folklore than anything else. The temple doesn’t serve god(s), but rather inner fulfillment. Like most Etherians, they believe life came from the stars, and so they celebrate them, but it’s more like cosmic Mothers’ Day than worship. As such, they have their meetings in the evenings as the stars and moons emerge. I called them sundown sermons because Alliteration, but they’re more like lectures on different aspects of life and healthy habits (stuff from “be kind to your neighbors” to “lets talk about the struggles of addiction” to “forming positive thinking habits” and occasionally telling their folklore or history stories). The temple exists to preserve their stories as well as artifacts and history, but during the day it’s mostly a support center. The priestesses counsel people through personal problems, relationships, health struggles, things like addiction, and more. As such, Leona inviting Adora to visit it with them was less like “deal with this weird religion for two hours so we can take pictures” and more like “attend support group where you don’t have to talk for two hours and then meet everyone who helped us raise Catra. And we’ll take pictures.” When she said “I know you aren’t religious” that was partially to assure her it wouldn’t be anything conversion-y and partially because she knew Adora didn’t ascribe to the magicat life philosophy personally (though her personal beliefs do hold a decent amount of overlap).

⦁ The name for the series (“Love You Until The Day I Die (And Then Do It Again)”) is inspired by the song “Until The Day I Die” by Morgan Saint that’s in the fic’s playlist (linked at the end of this post). None of the lyrics fit exactly on their own but it’s heavily based off the chorus.

Check My Chest (Am I Still Breathing?) (Snippets fic):

⦁ I really wanted to include this scene with Adora in the fic but it would only make sense to have immediately after the scenes that take place in her loft after they reunite, and Catra’s next scene messed with that, so in the end wanting to write that was one of the big factors in doing a follow-up. I also wanted to include the ring stuff, but the graduation and Adora starting to wear her ring again felt like the right place to leave off the main fic, so the snippet fic let me do that.

⦁ I considered having there just be a second chapter to the main fic for the snippets, but… I also wasn’t sure I wanted to do this snippets all in one fic, and I wanted to leave room to possibly add more on later (not that I’m planning it at all, I just went weirdly insane on this project, so building in the ability to do that made since) which is why I went with a second fic.

⦁ The scene with Catra in her city planning class is based off of two things: the struggles of older generations of the LGBT community that face erasure, and city planner Robert Moses. The bar that Catra mentions is the same one their photo was taken in back in the main fic.

⦁ When Catra hits her late twenties in their second life, Adora starts getting kind of nervous because like, what if they’re in cycles and her depression comes back? Nothing ends up happening and when Catra hits 31 specifically, past the depression together and past when she left last time, she just wakes up one morning and it’s a ridiculous amount of relief. They have ridiculous morning snuggles that day.

⦁ The whole fic I wrote knowing Catra was a mechanic in her past life, working on becoming a mechanical engineer, and that Adora had gradually transitioned through office work until she was a project manager, but it just never came up aside from mentioning Catra’s mechanic manuals, so I’m glad some of it got into the fic notes. I think Adora gradually climbs her way up in the corporate world until she’s like, just below executive. Having to keep up with trends and the business environment (in addition to just having Catra in her life, who tends to live like a mortal/on a mortal schedule due to the way her life is broken up) helps keep her present in the current time rather than letting the years just kind of flow by. Having a job that pays well also helps with Catra’s life cycles (paying for her early years, sometimes having to move for where she’s reborn, supporting her when she can’t find work due to “looking to young” or when she has to do re-education to keep up with current knowledge/technology that changed while she was young, supporting her health when she’s older, etc) and things like inflation effecting what they have already accrued. Living forever is really expensive.

⦁ No matter how many families Catra has, even if they’re a lesbian couple, everyone who comes after her second life is either “her parents” or “her birth parents” (if she doesn’t get along with them). No one else will ever be “her moms.” That’s just for Leona and Felina. She considers them her “true” family and everybody else a kind of extended family.

⦁ I never included it in the fic (it was going to be in the snippets but… was too sad), but the reason Leona and Felina were in their forties when they had Catra is because they did have a kitten when they were in their late twenties/early thirties, but she was unhealthy and died when she was just a year old. They took a long time to heal from that before trying again (this time swapping, because they were worried about some kind of genetic problem and losing another kid, so Leona was the one who got pregnant for Catra). When they got Catra, they considered her a blessing no mater what, and that’s part of why they became such amazing parents for her weird situation.

⦁ I was going to include some scenes across Catra’s future reincarnations but honestly? It ended up feeling to sad even though they weren’t sad about it, I just find living forever to be a depressing idea lol. It’s part of why I said I’d never do an AU like this until I had this insane idea. That said, there was some important logistical stuff those scenes were going to cover, so here it is:

⦁ Reincarnation/Redeclaring process: Basically, the first time a reincarnator comes to the temple, the priestesses draw up a whole profile on them. Psychological, biographical, etc. They also set a passphrase with the individual. Now, sometimes the memory of that passphrase is recovered later than other memories, so it isn’t essential, you can just go and say who you are and list off as much of the information you do remember as possible, however it makes the process a hell of a lot easier. The process is partially a religious thing and partially a legal thing, but the religious part of it grants it a lot of exceptions (stuff Catra alludes to when she says legally no one can discriminate on her resume because it has been verified by the temple and that’s religious discrimination). Then there’s a test, which mostly is based on stuff you’ve done/said in the past (like “have you ever lived in Bright Moon,” “when was your first life,” etc with some philosophical questions thrown in). There is no automatic fail or win condition — aside from not resembling the person you’re supposed to be, anyway — you just try to verify as much information as you can. The priestesses also have lots of pictures of Catra throughout her various ages to compare her appearance, as well as her fingerprints. This process used to be a lot more spiritual and religion-based ("here’s ten stones, the real Catra would pick the right one" kind of shit), but over time it has morphed to a mostly practical one. There was a whole drive to reinvent and simplify it when almost no one was coming back to them anymore because old betrayals had driven them away. Said betrayals are things like the temple denying someone their redeclaring not because they actually thought they were an impostor but for political, religious, or even greedy reasons. Also once or twice verifying an impostor. The temple isn’t known for a history of corruption (it’s not the Catholic church, basically), but no institution is entirely unstained of it and over hundreds of years of history, there are bound to be some scandals. At the end of the testing, the priestesses jointly fill out paperwork with the new reincarnation declaring they have vetted and verified who they are, this individual is actually named [x] and [x] years old, they’re entitled to their old possessions and holdings, and they can be legally emancipated. Reincarnations are in this strange legal scenario where they can argue that they should be able to act independently as they are an adult but can also be argued against in the sense that they still need guardianship because their brain is mentally developing no matter the experience in their memories. It’s a strange place to be that there isn’t much legal precedent for in the modern system, but emancipation deals with some potential problems from that. Having immortals who know all her reincarnations also helps Catra out in the sense of there’s someone who would know better than the priestesses, who might not have ever met her old self (they easily could not have been born yet the last time she was there), and her friends will advocate on her behalf if there’s problems and — even when the temple is fully supporting and helpful — help her with stuff as basic as getting there when the temple doesn’t have the resources or authority to do so.

⦁ Okay, so, I thought about it. I had to. Sometimes when Catra gets reborn, her new family isn’t accepting. They don’t believe her because they wanted a young kitten and this would ruin that, or they’re uncomfortable with her being kind of older than them, or they just don't like her rejecting the name (and identity) they gave her, etc. That can be surmounted, though. In order to start the redeclaring process, all Catra needs to do is get in touch with either the temple or Adora. Preferably Adora, because she can and will drive to wherever Catra is to get her and bring her to the temple. Once she redeclares, she can be free of her family completely if necessary. Catra prefers to stay with her families in her younger years (as much as she is loath to admit it, what she needs at that time is parents, not anyone that she wants to be equals with), but sometimes it's just not a healthy option. If it's not healthy, she might stay with family from her last life if they're still around, or one of her other immortal friends, and Adora is a (temporary) fallback even though they agreed in Catra's first second-life that it's not ideal. Adora would rather chop off her own leg than let Catra be left in a bad situation again and Catra isn't about to sit back and let herself be mistreated, so they make it work however they have to. Most of the time, though, it's fine. Catra's parents are usually bewildered-but-trying and good enough. Adora can make things easier by doing stuff like arranging and paying for Catra's tutoring, trips to the temple for her declaring or counseling, etc so Catra's unusual situation is less stressful on them and their relationship can be as healthy as possible. Adora is there as a fallback but mostly steps back unless needed during Catra's younger years, though they still try to establish that first "I'm okay" contact as soon as possible and check in regularly. Catra is really lucky to have immortals in her corner. This would all be way harder if she had to rely on always either having understanding families or being able to reach the temple (another reason the other reincarnating magicats have figured out ways to do things on their own). Adora is kind of her trump card. Adora always tries to keep the same phone number, email, physical address, everything from when Catra dies so she can easily reach her when she’s cognizant enough to. The difficulty of carrying anything through life is also made so much easier when you have a wife who can inherit/manage all your shit for you, not to mention immortal friends who will step up and take care of you when you’re born in a bad situation, as well as provide emotional support.

⦁ On another final note, Catra treats her reincarnations like a continuation of her last life. A lot of the other reincarnators treat it as doing life again. Some of them don’t ever tell anyone it’s their second+ life, they just go through it like normal mortals and then do it again. Maybe if Catra didn’t have immortal friends, she would be more inclined towards that, but she always wants to reestablish herself young and to grow with each life. She generally treats her child/teen years as extended vacation, but she still wants to be recognized for who she is even as she goes through her mental development.

Original Outline:

Okay so my initial plan saw Adora and Catra missing each other entirely for one life, so for like 100 years or something Adora is just living with the “she’s probably dead, now she’s definitely dead” but that was wayyyyy too much in a fic that was already too much. I cried writing the first part and only started recovering once Catra was reborn so I went Nope this is happy now, this is where it all turns around.

Meta:

Playlist

Upcoming:

So I’m not 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure my next fic is gonna be a kind of interesting AU because it’s a style I haven’t done before. It’s called Children of the Crystal and it’s a bunch of one-shots taking place in the same universe over time, but largely unrelated and telling small stories, not one epic. Think in the style of my Outside of the War series. That's the one I've got on the backburner right now but we'll see what happens.

#TTFT #fic notes #ficmeta

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applesandbannas747 · 6 months

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For the fic writer ask, 10, 34 and 38?

ahh!! thank you for playing more silly ask games with meee <33

10. How do you decide what to write?

whatever makes my brain go brrrr. lmfao I have a million ideas that collect in my brain (and then get jotted down in notes lest I forget them all), and then from them I'll kinda pick what to write based on a couple of things: interest level at the moment of choosing, ship, length, and genre.

Biggest thing that indicates something will be written immediately is when I start composing scenes in my head while falling asleep or zoning out--that usually means it's Time to work on that project, but that's not always how things get picked.

I do try (and I used to be better at it) to stagger my fics in a way that keeps my readers happy/interested. So I try to even out the Nichoji v Eugesse ratio I write, meaning if I just finished a long Eugesse fic, I'd look to choose from a Nichoji idea. And generally when I'm working on longer projects, little ones will pop up to keep the crops diversified in my brain and all that--and those ones always kinda happen on whims/accident and then get stored away for months/years until I have a posting gap they can fill. And genre lmfaooo it was my intention to give people realistic fiction between my fantasy bullshit but that particular criterion has been given up on and I've just accepted it at this point

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

ooo I've said it before but my love for my family and relationship with my siblings really influences the way I write the Labaos--none of the Labao children are based on me or any of my siblings and none of the relationships were copy pasted onto them, but the strong basis of love and bullshittery everything is built on is from my life. and of course the mental illness do be sneaking into all the Fence boys lmfao oops

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

honestly fucking baffled in the best way when my things get popular lmfao i still can't believe people like some of my stories so much! There's probably four that I think completely surprised me

Fairy Bound gained a lot of fans I was not expecting, especially given the size of the fandom (it's not super big and I thought it had died out a lot more than it has because it's older) and the controversy of the ship (human/fairy with large age gap, you know the drill). I think one of the reasons it got so popular is because of it being a T-rated and longer fic for the ship when most of the longer fics for them were M or E and so it filled a niche? Also it was canon compliant (at least until the sequel series came out...but i don't really see those as canon anyway so my thing still fits into the OG canon yknow?)

More was my very first Fence fic that I wrote because I could not find ANY Nichoji kissing fics and wanted those fuckers to kiss. Which, I think, is why other people liked it, but I was so surprised (in a good way) with how many people commented on it and wanted to read more. It remains my most-kudo'd fence fic, which has honestly got to be from its time accumulating those kudos XD but it makes me smile whenever I get a new kudos on it because it's nice to know that people still like it since it was what jumpstarted my time in the fence fandom

Can't Get Over You is one that baffled me for ages because I had a great time writing it, but I don't think it's my strongest fic by far...and then I realized that maybe other people are as terrible as I am and enjoy the trope of Nick fucking up really bad being mean to Seiji and making him cry, then having to spend ages getting him to believe he loves him. Sometimes makes me wonder if I should post more with that trope or if it would be too upsetti spegetti XD

And then Promised Things I seriously didn't expect to get much traction, and yet, it surpassed Truths, my until-then legacy fic...Turns out business romance is a whole genre that people do be enjoying but I just thought I was being boring because how does 'businessman au' sound appealing to anyone at all except the dumb asshole who wrote it??? also i made so many lingerie jokes in that one and am still delighted that y'all just let me get away with it

#jackshit #ask games #thanks for the ask!!💜#i always love babbling about fence in any capacity lmfao

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blinktwiceforhelp · 7 months

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hi!!! idk if you normally respond to asks abt this but i am a new chatfic writer (tbp + st) and i was wondering how you get like inspiration/ideas to keep it going???

like im working on mine and i have literally no idea what to write!!!

hi!! first of all, im super proud of you to be writing your own fics they take a lot of work, and I'm happy to give you some tips!

first, if you get an idea, write it down. it doesn't have to be good, it doesn't have to make any sense and you don't need to know how its going to fit into your fic at first, just get the idea down so you have some things to fall back on later if you don't have any ideas

second, take inspiration from events that happen around you. if one of your family members did something funny or you watched a movie with fun events in it, don't be afraid to use them. people online in my experience usually really like references to popular shows or series, so if you watch a movie you really like don't be scared to draw inspiration from that

third, dont stress about not having ideas. even if people bother you online to get chapters out, its okay to have writers block. remember, this is YOUR fic and you're writing it for fun and letting people read it for free. it shouldn't turn into a big schedule thing and you end up beating yourself up over not updating

and lastly, if youre really stuck, dont be even worry about using incorrect quotes from around the internet. there are some generators out there that only require names and it'll make you a whole bunch of incorrect quotes to use as you feel the characters would act

(and there is absolutely zero shame asking your readers for ideas. finding out what they want to read can give you a base idea, and i find that new and bigger ideas often blossom from those ideas)

i hope this helped, and happy writing!

#ao3 fanfic #fanfic #advise #fanfiction advice #writing advice #writers blockwriting #writer inspiration #writer inspo

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andiwriteordie · 1 year

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I just read your new byler Christmas fic and I am obsessed! I guess I just wanted to let you know that I love all of your writing and I was wondering if you had any tips on writing in general? Like, how do you write so much? You are a productivity god <3

ahhh!!! thank you so much!! 😭❤️ i'm so glad you enjoyed it and that you enjoy my writing!!!

ok, so here are a few things i can think of that i like to do when i write:

writer's block is everybody's worst enemy, right? i have this kind if internal understanding that i'm just going to write whatever i feel inspired to write to keep the creative juices flowing. like there are some days where i absolutely hate what i'm writing, so if you have to switch gears, then absolutely don't feel bad about doing that! (that said... be careful bc that's how you end up with 20+ wips... like me lol)

for longer fics, i've realized it's a really good idea to outline what you want to write—and the more detailed you are, the better. this is a PAIN IN THE ASS because it takes forever, but it's so worth it. i spent about a week outlining i know better (but you're still around) and i was so annoyed, because i just wanted to jump into writing it! the entire outline ended up being about 90 pages though because i just went through and wrote out as much as i could think through about the plot of each chapter. and so, i hit writer's block when writing chapters 10-14, and i really relied on the ideas i'd written down and for myself and was able to push through and finish those chapters!

so, this is a very niche and highly nerdy thing that i do, but it's something that i think has helped me in terms of characterization and writing perspectives of different characters. i usually use the enneagram type descriptions as a base point for writing characters. i enjoy the enneagram a lot when compared to things like mbti, because it really focuses on the core motivation behind what people do instead of just external actions or character traits? so, for writing fanfics, i'll try to go through and identify what characters are on the enneagram (i.e. i believe mike's a 2 and will is a 9), so then when i'm writing things, i'll try to think through and do some research about that personality type and how they'd interact with other people, why their interactions are that way, etc. this, ofc, is just a starting point, but i've found it incredibly helpful as a baseline that i can then adapt to specific characters and their unique experiences!

anyways, i hope those helped! that's all i can think of right now, but if you have more specific questions, i'd be more than happy to answer any of them! 😊

#andi's asks #writing tips

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give-soup-please · 11 months

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Again, very soon, because of a few reasons, but tis I, May! 1. Thank you for the fun honey fact - I can't believe that it's copyrighted, although, maybe I can, it's not the weirdest thing I've heard of copyrighted. Fun fact: did you know that the word "Home" is technically copywritten for Facebook? 2. I have consumed water as per the agreement of mutually taking care of ourselves! (This is now a legally binding agreement, you cannot escape) 3. I don't believe in God but GOD BLESS for those chapters/fics you posted, for the love of all that is both holy and unholy I read those faster than I've read anything in my entire life - seriously, I finished all of them in 30 minutes. I do think it is important to say that I agree with you: Enjoying reading toxic relationships and things of that nature in fics, is not equivalent to wanting to experiencing it in real life, or condoning/supporting it in general. I also am an avid enjoyer of such things (and have written a few in private myself.) That does not, in the slightest, mean I support stuff like that. I don't. But wHOO if I don't enjoy reading it... (it totally does not consume 90% of the fanfictions I read... no, it would never...) 4. I don't believe I have ever interacted with you on Discord, I'm not even sure I know what your Discord is, actually ☹️ I have interacted with Munchies though (Not sure if I can say her actual name or not... I haven't spoken with her enough to know) I do want to say, in regards to her, that it is so wonderful that you continue to help and inspire her to write - her writing is amazing and I would be much sadder if that didn't exist (just like I would be sad if you didn't write - I will consume whatever writing the two of you make) 5. One of the most important things I've learned though therapy and experience is that being upset is okay, feeling your emotions is okay. You just have to act on them in a positive way, and deal with them in a positive way. I.e. it's okay to be irritated that someone just walked in front of you and took your place in the grocery line, but that doesn't mean you flip out on them. You probably didn't ask about that, but I did see the reblogged post and wanted to mention it since it was at the forefront of my mind. 6. I don't know why I'm surprised about that A.I. thing, but I am. I can't believe people would take someone's work and do that to it. It could never, and would never amount to what they can actually create, and is never worth it. Not only that, but I am also someone who's fics are all (mostly) unfinished for a variety of reasons. I do plan on finishing them, and finding out that someone did that to it would devastate me and also make me feel underappreciated/like I have no reason to write at all. That's all for now, surprisingly a lot but I do end up getting a lot of thoughts I forget to write down (these ones were just fresh in my mind and I HAD to say something about those most recent writings... damn...) You know the drill by now, you better be taking care of yourself because you're important, and you matter. Drink water, try to do something that might be a little difficult, and also be self indulgent - you deserve it. Your friend,

~May

hello again, may. good to hear from you. and feel free to pop in the inbox whenever, i like your messages.

i really hope that the facebook thing isn't real because i'll be so salty about it sdlfkjsdlkfsdjklf... pomegranate honey is rare and hard to find in supermarkets. you usually gotta go to a specialty jam shop or somewhere similar to locate it, at least where i am in the area.

2. i'll raise a glass of water in your honor, then/gen - i know i need accountability partners sometimes when it comes to self care and taking care of basic needs.

3. i'm really glad you liked it! it always makes me very happy when folks have positive responses to my work. as for the thing about telling people i don't condone certain things, it's just to cover my bases, really. early on in the headcanon project, i did a few yandere requests and someone came in my inbox and told me off about it. i didn't know tumblr back then as well as i do now, and i didn't want to step on anyone's toes. this blog is an attempt at drama free posting, for the most part, and arguments about what writers should and shouldn't be able to write are... hotly contested on this site. (understatement of the century, good lord.)

4. if you haven't interacted with me on discord, then i truly have no idea who you are, and i'm chill with that. you'll reveal what you want to reveal whenever. i don't generally hand out my discord to folks, because i cultivate my circles very carefully and don't want my username public. so for now, that stays secret. i'm honored that she takes inspiration from what i do, it means a lot. i have no idea how i do it, but i'm not gonna knock a good thing. i'm happy for her.

5. good advice. i don't have much else to say about that.

6. yeah the development of AI stuff recently has been... distressing, from an artist standpoint. i've heard people are already trying to use AI to replace certain jobs, and the idea of my 'voice' (for lack of a better word) being stolen to produce cheap/free content is incredibly distressing. i'm a firm believer in AI/robotics being used to handle manual labor so humans have more time and energy to make art, not having the AI/robots make art so... we have... more time to work. there's something backwards about that.

take care of yourself too, ok?

#may anon

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a-little-bit-of-ravioli · 2 years

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Rav, please answer the following:

B I T C H

Thank u for your time

Bitch. B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Whistle would come closest? Not in the premise per se, but my ears used to be highly highly sensitive when I was younger, and a lot of Twi's initial annoyances and struggles with the high pitched noise and the pain from overstressing it are based on my own experiences.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I'll pick reading for this one - I love reading fics exploring trauma responses and other characters finding out about them unplanned. Example, one character has a bad response to loud storms or hurricanes. I will now devour fics dealing with other characters finding out about this in myriads of ways.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

De-aging, uwufication and projection that has no basis in the character. Next.

C: What character do you identify with most?

I am a mix of Warriors and Twilight (both a city girl and a country girl due to family living in both places, both a social butterfly but also a family person, both an extrovert and an introvert) and I will never understand why or how it works, but this is real, this is me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to beeee -

H: How would you describe your style?

I thought I could just copy paste my last answer to this question, but honestly? My style has changed since then. I've shortened my sentences, and my dialogue isn't as overtagged as it used to be anymore. I do have different styles I write in for different fics, but my 'standard' is a nice mishmash of my old and the experimental style I tested with Whistle now, naturally. My metaphors are usually simple, and I don't overuse them. I like segregating sentences to give a flow to the reading, and show thoughts jumping. Generally my use of different sentence styles has become more consistent and purposeful, instead of only by feeling. Oh, and I like giving detail to people and actions in the background, and have been told repeatedly people notice this without it being overbearing, so I'm happy about that!

#fanfic writer asks #there you go bitch #rav rambles

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atomicnebula13 · 2 years

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Just passing by to say that I started reading your fics and I love them. One thing I especially liked is how you include song lyrics at the beginning, I think that sets the mood somewhat (I personally love to share a song with my stuff to give a little help in building an atmosphere). Also that you mentioned that you can't write horny stuff without putting some feelings into it lol, I share the sentiment, no matter how hard I try to do something outright erotic it will always end up being an emotional bombshell at some point. Other than that, I really like the terms you use, I found some of my favorite English words in your writing and I really got excited about all the others I learned hahah, thanks for that!

But what I really want to say is that as I am prone to enjoy more tender stuff, I found myself weeping over your sweeter works. They really got to me. I finished the ones I read with a heart a little broken and mended at the same time, and to be able to generate that in another person is wonderful. It reminded me of when things started to get ugly in the comic a few chapters back as other things got sour in my personal life and after I finished reading the episode I just had to sit and cry for a while. There is something sacredly healing about acknowledging our pain in the art we consume. It's curious how a small bunch of fictional youngsters can steal our hearts to such an extent. I guess it is because something of ours is reflected in their experiences or personal characteristics, or because as characters they are excellently builded, or simply because having followed their history for 8 years (8, I think?) means that at this point we love them as if they were real. (Damn, 8 years is a lot of time!) I don't know, I just wanted to thank you for reminding me of these feelings. I'm going to continue reading your works that I haven't read yet, and I'm sure I'm going to like them as much as the ones I've read.

(Sorry if I wrote too much, but I feel it was worth)

Excuse me while I blush furiously over this message. My number one motivator for writing is music. I almost always get inspired to write a fic based on the song I reference and one of the things that immediately drew me to your art (besides how stunning it is, seriously, you have your own hashtag that I use exclusively when I reblog your works) was that you included songs and lyrics as well. I think that's absolutely beautiful, I love that art just manages to breed more art. It's never ending, beautiful and organic form of creation and I can't help but be enchanted by it over and over. Haha, yes I've never quite mastered writing smut without putting feelings into the interaction. I find it especially hard when I'm writing for TianShan because there are just so many instances where something deeper is going on than what we see on the surface level. I'm so happy that you are finding your favorite English words in my works! I love particularly flowery language, especially if it's evocative. I feel genuinely emotional reading this. Tender works always have me feeling a little heart broken as well so for that to translate through the writing is such a compliment. I always hope that my writing will resonate and be well received by the reader but in the end I'm selfish, I'm usually writing for myself because it's a catharsis. As you say, it's sacred to acknowledge our pain through the art we consume. That's something I've always found particular powerful as a writer - reading takes time and people's time is precious so for someone to stop to read my writing feels like such an honor. They are investing their valuable time in me and it's really something I hold very dear. I don't ever want to take it for granted. I agree, I don't know how this fictional group has so many of us in an absolute stranglehold but they do. I'm so thankful for it though because it brings so many of us together in a really meaningful way. It is shocking how long the manhua has been going for (I remember reading when it was JUST Jian Yi and Xixi). Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. This message really warmed my heart and lifted my spirits, my friend. You really are my favorite artist so to hear that my writing is something you enjoyed makes me a little emotional. I'm not sure I'm worthy. And should you ever have any requests I would gladly write something for you, you have only to ask. (Also, don't apologize, you can never write too much). 💕

#answered ask #i’m not crying you’re crying

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

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Wishing I could read something about Peraltiago talking about how they feel on all Teddy's proposals to Amy. They are really akward, uncomfortable moments and Teddy really crosses the limits every single time, and wish we knew more on their takes about it. Once I read a fic about Jake sending Rosa to stop Teddy and take care of Amy but it just not the same.

lol I have a fic on that topic exactly - I have a proposal for you - where I had the cathartic experience of writing about Rosa breaking Teddy’s hand for being so awful, but I agree with you, Teddy reappearing in the show is so uncomfortable each time ugggh. I thought the wedding one was the worst but then he shows up literally fathering a child with someone else and still does it, disgusting.

So maybe take this as taking place before that fic of mine, where Jake does mention how bad Teddy's proposals make them feel!

Jake can tell, just from the simple drop of her purse in the hallway, that it wasn't a good day.

Weird, how it's these tiny things that he's learned to read instantly - or maybe not, given that he's a detective trained to focus on details others would overlook, and being unable to stop the habit when it comes to the most important people in his life.

She tries to be all smiles when she comes into the living room, though, where Mac is happily rolling around in his playpen while Jake is folding laundry on the couch, the very picture of domesticity as she leans over the pen to kiss their squealing, giggling little baby. The view of her in one of her old pantsuits instead of her Sergeant's uniform is already making his hearts do little leaps even before she makes her way over to Jake for their customary Welcome Home kiss.

"How was that inter-department meeting today?" He asks as she shrugs off the suit jacket and continues her pace into the kitchen, setting aside a set of Mac's bibs that can't be folded anyway.

"Okay." She replies, and that's enough to make him abandon the laundry alltogether and follow her (one eye on Mac, of course, but he's not even crawling yet, and couldn't roll himself into any danger on his foam-based playmat - probably). It's rare that she doesn't have at least one inspiring, 'interesting' or just generally informative story to share from her meetings, the only person in probably all departments looking forward to them.

She's staring into the fridge when he reaches the room and leans against the counter, trying to gauge her level of upset. From the raised shoulders and the fact that she doesn't need to check the fridge to know they were going to order Chinese tonight, he guesses it's at a solid 8, at least.

"Teddy was there." She mumbles into the cold, bright space in front of her, and Jake's shoulders tense up just as much as hers even as he tries to sound as chill as possible.

"How is he?"

"Still extremely boring." Then, after a pause. "Still hung up on me."

So much for chill.

"Did he propose again?"

She nods and sighs, her shoulders dropping as she closes the fridge, but doesn't turn toward him.

"I don't know what's wrong with him." She says through gritted teeth, suddenly. "He has a child with someone. He has a wife. How can he look at them and turn around and-"

Mac's little happy cooing from the living room interrupts her, as do Jake's arms as they wind around her middle, his chin dipping into the space between her shoulder and her neck.

"That's probably a question only a therapist could answer, babe."

Amy sighs as she leans back, falls into the warmth and support of her own husband, the father of her child that she can hear happily babbling to himself from a room over, and wonders some more how Teddy could ever think he would be a better option for her.

"He wasn't like this when we were dating." She muses, and feels Jake's kiss against her jaw - a reflex action she's noticed whenever she mentions a past partner or anything, frankly, that reminds him that there was a point where he wasn't Jake Peralta-Santiago yet. But she kind of needs to finish this thought, and she knows he can handle it. "He was nice and kind and he wouldn't- he wasn't manipulative, pulling something like that in public, or deluded enough to think he was in the right for it. I mean, he thought he was pretty great, but he wouldn't have -"

"You musta broken something pretty major in his brain when you left him." Jake's voice is joking, luckily, but she can sense a hint of something more. "The absolute devastation of a Santiago break-up speech, rehearsed or not."

"Harsh, Jake."

"Remember manbun musician? He went downright insane after your split - not that he was probably the sanest person around before that, but-"

"You promised we'd never mention him again."

"I'm just saying. I don't think any man left by you is going to be completely right in the head after that."

"You're making me sound like some black widow monster." She smiles, though, hearing the awe and affection in his voice bleed through.

"I'm not judging those guys, anyway." He continues, and that tinge of something else in his words is back. "I mean, I can't imagine what I'd be like if you ever decided to take Teddy up on one of his proposals."

She straightens up from her lean on his chest, twists in his arms without breaking the hug, and stares right into him as she studies his face - his actually slightly scared face.

"Jake, you know that's not ever-"

"I was joking babe."

"No. Jake. That's not even an option. Not even an idea. Never. Not in a million years. Not if-"

She grabs his shirt where it's unbuttoned, right next to his heart, and his hand reaches up to squeeze hers like it always does, thumb swiping along her rings.

"I know, Ames." The soft kiss that follows calms her just as much. "I cashed out that jackpot and I'm not giving it back."

She hums as she kisses him again, leans her forehead against his for a deep breath.

"It's just... sad." She returns to her original train of thought. "That he can't move on despite his life doing so. I mean, it's been years. He's got a new job and a new partner and a new baby, and he's willing to, what, dump all that? For me? For that idolised image he probably has in his mind of me now, because nothing between us has been real since ages ago?"

"Wow, this is really bugging you."

"Yes! He's barging into my life and thinking he knows what's best for me and that it's him, like I'm some love-struck silly dreamgirl who's going to drop her entire world because he's romantic enough to go down on one knee in front of our colleagues and superiors who have no idea what's going on-!"

Mac's noises from the next room turn from content to disagreeing, growing into what is sure to be a cry any minute now, and it's the only thing that can make them break apart from their hug. He calms down immediately when Amy lifts him out of his pen, and holds him close while she settles on the sofa next to the half-done laundry basket, snuffling against her chest in a very obvious I’m hungry mom couldn’t you tell?! move before she can even unbutton her dress shirt.

He latches on immediately when her shirt is open and her bra pulled down - not a nursing bra today, considering she got ready for an important work meeting - while she feels Jake rearrange the pillows behind her and to her side to get her comfortable, without a second of hesitation or having to think about it. He moves on to pick up the jacket she's dropped onto a dining room chair, drapes it on a hanger in the hallway, and she feels the soft prick of tears in her eyes before he settles down again next to the two of them with a glass of water for her set on the coffee table.

Jake only hums as he notices the shine in her eyes too, and wipes across her cheek. He knows that nursing can get her into a pretty emotional state sometimes, but this is probably a bit more than that.

"I love you." She says, and barely waits for his return of I love you too to continue. "I can't believe Teddy expects me to look at Mac, and look at you, and still think he could ever be a better offer for anything I want."

"Aw, babe." He grins softly in return while playing with Mac's foot that is kicking in his direction, covered in the fuzziest green socks with red apples on them. "You scored a pretty dope 2-for-1 deal with us, I admit."

“Before that, too.” She insists, leaning to unlatch Mac and hand him over to Jake to burp as they always do while she buttons back up, thinking about Teddy’s many proposals before Mac was even planned on. “Jake, you know that, right? You alone were the best deal first and foremost.”

He smiles at her, Mac’s soft little curls right next to his cheek as he sways and pats his back, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.

“Jake-”

“You were happy with him.” He says, quietly, while Mac lets out his usual milky burp and smiles at him much wider when he wipes him clean with the linen cloth pulled from his shoulder. “I know it’s in the past and I - I’m not jealous or anything that stupid, but. Like you said... He wasn’t like this back then, and you were happy.”

His eyes seem forlorn, even as he smiles at the now sleepy baby in his lap that looks so much like him it always makes her heart twinge, that little bundle of joy with Amy’s dark hair and skin that seems to know the Cuban sun without ever having been there.

“And I know it’s not - and it doesn’t make sense to think about, but - sometimes his stupid proposals made me wonder what would’ve happened if he’d done that while he still made you happy.” His voice turns low, and it’s probably not just to avoid waking Mac back up as he falls asleep. “And that just makes me think about how I had to watch you be happy with him, and that’s not - that’s never a good memory to revisit, honestly-”

“I wouldn’t have said yes.” She leans over into his field of vision, the most serious look on her face. “Even back then, I wouldn’t have said yes to his proposal.”

Jake’s eyebrows scrunch up in question, his eyes turning into those puppy dog eyes that she knows as a direct hit to her heart when he’s actually sad or worried, and she can’t not hold his face in her hands again.

“Yes, I was happy with Teddy for a while, but looking back at it I realise I was- there was always this feeling of waiting for something. Hoping for something to be different.” She kisses him, careful and short and barely there, but enough to make him close his eyes and lean towards her a bit more. “And maybe back then I thought I was waiting for him to change somehow, but really I was only waiting for him to change into you.”

“Teddy couldn’t change into me if he had major brain surgery.” Jake scoffs, and Amy huffs a laugh with him.

“Yeah. And that’s why he’d never been right for me. That’s only ever been you.”

He finally, properly smiles now, eyes open again and set on her with a soft shine to them before he leans over more, as much as he can without waking the deeply asleep baby in his lap.

“I’m glad you figured that out when you did, in the end.” He quips and earns himself a shy nod. “And said yes when it came to the only good proposal you got.”

She snickers at that, thinking about the gaudy but wonderful boxing belt in her mementos box, and leans in the last few inches she needs to kiss him again, neither careful nor short this time, but equally as soft.

“And the next time I catch Teddy trying to propose to you again I’m going to punch him out before he can even get down on one knee.”

“You are not assaulting a fellow officer.”

“Kick in the balls?”

“How very mature, Mister-I-have-an-actual-child-now.”

“Can I at least tell him where he can stick his ridiculous ideas of marrying you at any point in the future, no matter the circumstances?”

She hums for a second.

“You can. If you add in how ridiculous the idea was in the past as well.”

“Oh now, that’s a good deal.”

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #my writing #ficlet #fic

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monsoonblooms12 · 3 years

Text

Belamour (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: Set after Book 3, Pooja finally gets Ethan to dance in the rain.

A/N: A silly something born out of my love for rains and my binge listening to 80s Bollywood classics (I have no idea what kinda mess this is tbh). Also, my first song based fic🤎

A/N 2: The song lyrics are indented (Translation in parenthesis)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Rating: General

Word Count: around 1.5K

Category: Total fluff

Warnings: None that I noticed

Song Inspiration: Aaj Kal Yaad Kuch by Mohammed Aziz

READ ON AO3

A pair of summery blue orbs insistently stare at the world beyond the glass windows.

A world that was now being washed by the consistent droplets that came down from the adobe of clouds to meet their origin.

Their drum was usually henotic, tranquil for him.

But at the moment, it only added to his irritation and deepened the void of disappointment that had formed in his chest.

In another room of the same house, a pair of amber orbs watched the magic of nature with a child-like wonder.

The pleasant, dewy petrichor spread around her, and the mellifluous tunes of Earth's own orchestra made her forget the fast turns her life went through in the past day.

In the faint light, she picked up her hand and let the jewel, the stone that was nothing less than a promise of forever, shine like the billion stars that dot the sky at nights that are devoid of clouds.

As the iridescent lights make her eyes sparkle, a vague idea forms in her brain.

Her thoughts float to reach the person who gifted her happiness, and a smile lit up on her face.

There was a mix of challenge and love in the quest she was about to partake and she was determined to succeed.

In slow, soundless steps, she made her way out of the room and out of the house.

A blur went past and his trained eyes were quick enough to catch the motion.

Shaking his head with realization, he followed behind.

As the steps took him down, and he stood under the shade of the multi-floored skyrise, she stayed yards away from it.

Her hair was wet, her skirt twirling, her face bright and beautiful.

He felt his heart race, whispering an urge to join with hers.

He restrained himself, but the scene in front of him was so spectacular that he doubted just how long his restraint would last.

After what felt like an eternity, she turned to him, half of her face golden under the street lights, the other half bearing the monotones of black and white.

She looked like the personification of their love.

Her life the golden, and his the black and white.

He could write sonnets to describe the picture-perfect scene that played before him like a film, but all he did was stand still, unable to tear his eyes away, unable to speak the words that hadn't already been spoken, his well-thumbed thesaurus gathering dust in the labyrinths of his mind.

She looked at him with a longing, a spoken call for him to join her as the rains continued to fall and purify the earth.

All he did was shake his head in silence.

She took it as a challenge, and he already knew how it was going to end.

For a minute he got lost in her memories, reminiscences from a time, from a moment that passed too quick, yet slow enough for him to remember every moment of it.

And suddenly, the faint tunes of a song brought him back to the present.

Every word of the foreign seeming language lucid clear, setting in a cascade of emotions and bringing pictures etched in past pages of the novel of life, making him go on a trip down the memory lane.

Aajkal Yad Kuch Aur Rehta Nahi

(Nowadays I don't seem to remember anything else)

Ek Bas Aapki Yad Aane Ke Bad

(Once your memories enchant me)

Yaad Aane Se Pehle Chale Aaiye

(Please come to me before the memories reach me)

Aur Phir Jaiye Jan Jane Ke Bad

(And then leave only after my breath leaves me)

The truth of the words came with an epiphany.

Every day of knowing her had been a way of painting the monotones of his life in colours he thought didn't belong to him.

Every moment she had ever spent away from him had made him yearn for her more than ever.

And yet he was foolish enough to think that miles of distance and hundreds of hours could make him forget her.

All the distress he felt could have been so easily ended if she had been with him then.

And now, as he dreams of an aeon with her, he promises to only let her go when his breath leaves him alone.

Apni Aankhon Me Mujhko Basa Lijiye

(Allow me to settle in the world of your eyes)

Apne Dil Me Mera Ghar Bana Dijiye

(Make a home for me in your heart)

Kya Karu Dil Kahi Aur Lagta Nahi

Pyar Me Aapse Dil Lagane Ke Bad

(What's the fault of mine if I can't concentrate on anything other than you, since our hearts connected by the string of love)

As the minutes pass by, melting into each other to form an hour, he loses all tracks of time.

And amidst the sweven he was living in right now, at a moment he could not pinpoint, she had taken his hand into hers and now he stood, lost in the amber of her eyes, forgetting all about the shower that now fell upon him.

As she continued to mutter the tunes in a harmony that went on in rhythm with the rain, he wished he could live in the world of her orbs.

To see the world as she saw it, to live the life from her perspective.

All he wanted was home in her heart, a tiny place on the lands of her soul.

Ishq Ke Maine Kitne Fasane Sune

(I have heard many tales of epic romances)

Husb Ke Kitne Kisse Purane Sune

(And stories about beautiful people from bygone eras)

Aisa Lagta Hai Phir Is Tarah Tut Kar

Pyar Hamne Kiya Ek Zamane Ke Bad

(But I feel I have been broken and got mended by love after centuries)

In muted harmonies, the two of them twirled, forgetting the world around them.

The way their eyes held onto each other, as if holding onto their lives, reminded him of the tales of love the folklores talk about.

The romances of princesses and maidens, and of beauties who earned their fairytale.

But as her palm stroked his cheek in a feather-light motion, he concluded that all those tales faint in front of the story of theirs.

There were no royals, no cruel witches setting up spells and no poisoned apples.

There were just two people, broken by the storms life made them navigate through, fitting perfectly as if parts of a whole.

He tried to remember if he had ever experienced anything as he did now, his lip tracing her ear as his hands wrapped around her waist.

It didn't even take him a second to know the answer.

He hadn't.

Aapka Naam Dil Se Nikalta Nahi

(Your name never leaves my heart)

Dillagi Me Koi Zor Chalta Nahi

(No force is strong enough to stop the meet of two hearts)

Aapko Bhul Jane Ki Koshish Bhi Ki

(I tried a hundred times to forget you)

Aur Tadpa Hun Main Bhool Jaane Ke Baad

(And suffered a suffering of pain and agony once I forgot you)

The rains accelerate and become a downpour. The mist envelops them but there was no care for the changing environment.

The distance between them ceases to exist as their hearts finally get the pleasure of beating in unison.

In the next moments, she whispers close to his ear, the last of the melody, and it's his story.

The story of how he couldn't get rid of the five-lettered name since the first time he ever came to know about it.

Of how no force in the world could stop two hearts from meeting if that's what destiny had in plan for them.

Who one loves and who loves them back determines so much in one life.

And for him, it was a chance, a risk he was scared to take, dreading the destruction it may cause.

After all when had anything ever-blossoming flowers in the city of his soul?

But this time not only did spring finally arrived with its flowery footsteps but also led to a discovery of himself, a part of him that was buried under layers of snow from the winter that reigned in his life for years.

She taps twice on his heart, indicating how he had tried to forget her, all those years ago. And how he broke himself in the process.

As she hummed the last lines, he bowed down in front of the forces that brought the two of them together.

He thanked the stars which aligned the way did to let him fall for her and agreed to hide, to let the rains fall, to let him have this night with her.

And looked in awe at the woman who brought about the sweetest catastrophe mankind has ever known.

And without uttering a word, he picks her and kisses her, saying all that was left unsaid with it.

PS: I actually have another version of the song, that I sung specifically to go with this, but Tumblr is giving me troubles to upload it. Do let me know if you would like to hear it someday.

Anyways, If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags🤎(Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @izzyourresidentlawyer @phoenixrising308 @adiehardfan @quixoticdreamer16 @a-crepusculo @cordonianruby @gryffindordaughterofathena

Open Heart (All fics and edit): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareads @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart @mm2305

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

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guileheroine · 2 years

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Hello! I love love love your writing and I definitely am inspired by you as a writer! I was wondering if you had any guiding principles or lessons learned from writing AUs that'd you'd be kind enough to share. As a reader I'm often not that interested in AUs (like hardly ever) but yours have always completely sucked me in and immersed me! Just wondering if you had any thoughts on the subject you'd be generous enough to share. Otherwise I'm just happy to thank you for all the wonderful stories you've contributed over the years - so thank you!

hi! thank you so much! this is so kind and very cool to hear, given your usual feelings about AUs. i’m the same, i rarely read setting-shift AUs. they tend to just feel 'inspired by' the characters which is usually not what i’m seeking. i think i access characters through story and theme so when it comes to investing in fic i need basic motivations and arcs to align with canon somewhat for it to ring true. whereas i get the vibe the opposite is true among much of fandom-- translating expression/personality is enough, so the character's more malleable, you can use them to play out a huge range of story frameworks (and honestly, more power if this works for ppl! i regret that my imagination is kinda limited when it comes to extra-canon things)

i have few conscious strategies but i’ll try to articulate the AU thought process best as i can (bearing in my mind it’s all just to serve the romance). i hope it makes sense and is helpful on some level

for me, characterisation and theme delimits AU roles, interactions and plot (which takes a backseat in shipfic anyway), never the other way around. i strongly believe experiences and circumstances make the character so there are major limits to what AUs i’d consider writing in the first place for a given ship/character. there has to be some kind of throughline with canon, whether it’s a more direct analogue to their story or i’m magnifying/riffing off a particular facet of the canon i like. theme, ability and personality based reasons for AU occupations (broadly in that order) are better than aesthetic ones. real basic example, i wouldn’t have written my korrasami mermaid AU with asami as the mermaid because i can’t think of a good enough “hinge” for that, especially when korra's right there with her water powers and fantasy dreamgirl naivete

i basically visualise AU versions as being on a leash from canon characterisation. not a rule by any means but when i change something, i kind of ask myself: what’s the reason i’m lengthening the leash? it doesn’t have to be textually explicit but it helps to have an inkling of what it is about the new setting/context that is inflecting the “base” character

therefore it’s worth starting with a strong interpretation of who your characters are in the marrow. and that basically is my guiding principle, since i write shipfic and nothing more complicated. (korrasami AUs come way easier to me than others simply because i’ve been writing them for so many years that (my take of) their character ‘skeletons’ are second nature). i recommend stuff like character workshop sheets-- people always fill them out for OCs but they’re great fic aids

same goes for the interpersonal dynamics: find the essence, the attributes you don't want to sacrifice. i feel like these are more flexible/contingent compared to individual characterisation but i usually like the balance of power and main points of connection between the characters to be intact. if i made a ship manifesto or blueprint, i'd want like 60% it to be reflected in the AU even if a different element was being spotlighted

the setting is almost the most incidental part, just guided by what aesthetics/vibes/prose i’m excited about! i consider how the tone/genre i want for the story and the chosen setting would interact with the characters, which aspects of them it makes sense to highlight here, and what storyline that could inform-- again, rather than them being plopped into a prescribed trope- or plot-mandated AU role. while i think it’s important that most of their personality and some of their motivations (beyond romance) should resonate with canon, imo values more than anything are the core of a character so i try to maintain them inasmuch as they come into play (there are excellent fics that play drastically with characters’ philosophies but to me they always feel like OCs)

with all the above in mind i’ll use korra in some of my korrasami AUs as an example to show that they’re all variations on a theme, what i think is the crux of her: she has an eager, sensuous personality and must navigate being "special", for better and for worse

modern au: it follows canon beats closely. stakes are always dialled down in mundane AUs but the psychic conflict is similar—korra feels like her worth is tied up into a high pressure high profile role, losing that through a debilitating injury catalyses a difficult coming of age of sorts. (also since korra can’t be an avatar in this setting, asami is not a ceo - balance in their circumstances). more ‘normal’ upbringing than in canon -> less sheltered, less volatile

mermaid au: she's the bridge between two worlds. less stifled than in canon, plus fairytale setting -> her personality is more disneyfied, bubbly and innocent. emphasises her itchy fingers and curiosity, an openness to changing the world even in the absence of prescribed duty. special magical powers that still invoke a distant sense of responsibility

royalty au: she's older, more confident, developed- in an inherently restrictive role but one where she has retained a lot of autonomy and isn't cut off from the real world, emphasises her diplomatic role to show her balancing (if not yet reconciling) her responsibilities with more base instincts. she's further along her arc: it's mostly the romance throwing a spanner in the works

#shoutoutout #ask #my fic

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nervestatic · 3 years

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mcyt but they‘re god tier

hello mcyttumblr today i’ve got god tier assignments for a whole bunch of youtubers! this post will include both my assignment, a definition of what that god tier means, and my reasoning! a lot of this is based off of the dream smp <3 this is also intended to be a full session worth of players with no overlapping classes or aspects, which did impact my decisions! also i ignored gendered classes because they’re dumb

TECHNOBLADE / the prince of blood one who destroys via blood | blood is the aspect of bonds! friendship, unity, attachment, and obligation.

blood for the blood god! i chose prince of blood for techno because “one who destroys through bonds and connections” seemed like it really matched up with not only his general persona, but how he acts on the dream smp. the extended zodiac also says that blood players can be very intelligent and aware of other’s relationships even when their own are a disaster! which fits techno displays a lot of awareness about other’s relationships but tends to be pretty awkward and avoidant when it comes to his own. he also tends to be very chaotic and a big fan of destruction, which makes prince a good choice because it’s a god tier that is About Destroying Stuff.

PHILZA / the mage of space one who knows about space | space is the aspect of literal space, physics, and creation. i genuinely believe that philza minecraft is the only person responsible enough to be a space player. space players are about patience and the journey, not the destination, which fits with the playstyle that phil has on his hardcore world, and space players in canon also tend to be very isolated, which goes along with that. mage also gets defined as “setting an example using knowledge pertaining to [aspect]”, which fits phil’s position as the “dad” of the group and the fanon concept of him being the de facto leader of SBI due to his knowledge and experience.

WILBUR / the heir of rage one who is consumed by rage | rage is the aspect of chaos, negative emotion, and violence. this one is based pretty much entirely around the SMP. heirs are implied to be players expected to represent their aspect regardless of their own will, something they are duty-bound or fated to become. they are also defined as “one who invites change via [aspect]. rage is of course about negative emotions, and often associated with insanity. wilbur’s motivations have always come from a place of anger, and he has invited change in both positive and negative ways. but watching his descent from a man who doesn’t believe in violence to someone willing to blow up all of his friends really paints the image of the heir of rage for me.

NIKI / the sylph of breath one who heals through breath | breath is the aspect of freedom, confidence, direction, and change. for me this one is all about niki’s potential!! breath players often tend to have storylines about potential, both wasted and fulfilled, and i think a lot of how fandom sees niki is based around her potential in the storyline. personally, the idea of healing through freedom is one that really strikes me as something that fits niki- especially after her “dear friend” video about escaping from manburg and how she reacted to both schlatt’s election and the festival, she’s very firm in her belief of freedom- and how that freedom will help other people!

ERET / the maid of light one who creates light | light is the aspect of luck, discovery, knowledge, and awareness. i will be real with you this is very much in part because of the character design with the glowy eyes. but maids are about creating and repairing their aspect, rather than the sylph’s healing via their aspect, and i think maid of light sets up a really fun arc for both being a traitor and a redemption arc. eret made the smart choice in betraying l’manburg- or they thought it was the smart choice. her arc about coming back from that (discovery) and fixing that skewed luck fits very well with a maid’s quest.

TUBBO / the seer of hope one who understands hope | hope is the aspect of belief, perseverance, and positive emotion. i picked seer for tubbo mostly because of his position as a spy!! he sees hope even while living and working under schlatt, he refuses to back down even when it gets dangerous- even to the point of being a little dense about it. when he was up on that stage, he never stopped looking for the brightest path- for help from his friends, for techno to not pull the trigger, everything like that. he sees the consequences of actions as a seer, but those consequences tend to be skewed towards what he believes is “good” due to his aspect being hope.

TOMMY / the knight of heart one who serves through heart | heart is the aspect of souls, emotion, and intuition. being a knight in homestuck has always been about protecting other people using your aspect. most of the knights also have some sort of servitude to their aspect- tommy is impulse-driven and makes emotion-based choices, usually to protect what he believes in or his friends, showcasing that part of his classpect. he hides away the other parts of himself by putting that raw emotion on display at all times, not being afraid to pick a fight or follow that base desire even if it ends up with him dead, like the duel with dream.

FUNDY / the rogue of time one who steals from time | time is the aspect of literal time and time travel. time throughout homestuck has had a connection to technology, and i thought that would be really fitting for fundy! being a rogue is about twisting [aspect] to the benefit of your friends and session, and time is one of the main aspects that effects paradox space. fundy, as a programmer who is literally known for digging into the world (minecraft’s) code and changing it to suit his whims, seemed like a really obvious choice.

DREAM / the thief of mind one who steals using mind | mind is the aspect of thoughts, decision-making, and consequences. it’s the thousand iq plays, baby! dream is all about thinking ahead, rapidfire decision making, and reading other people’s plays. with his aspect covered, i actually had a bit of trouble with his class, but i decided on thief because both players who had that class in homestuck had storylines pertaining to being “relevant”, and both of them stole from their own allies. dream’s position as the “hunted” in the minecraft manhunts as well as it being his server seemed like it lined this up really well for his classpect.

GEORGE / the witch of void one who manipulates void | void is the aspect of nothingness, invisibility, and obfuscation. haha funny british man isn’t found!! but in all seriousness, the idea of “manipulating visibility” really resonated with george for me. this is in part due to appleflavoredkitkat’s amazing analysis of the FF dodgebolt strategy, and how a lot of his amazing plays are so amazing because people underestimate him. they see sapnap and dream before they see him, despite the fact that he’s a really good player and actually pretty awesome at pvp, and i think george knows that and relies on that. he manipulates his own visibility and how people perceive him to his own advantage, and that’s a witch of void, baby!

SAPNAP / the bard of doom one who invites destruction through doom | doom is the aspect of fate, futility, and decay. i will be real with you: sapnap drew the short straw on classes. i think that prince would have most likely been a better fit for him, but he lost that metaphorical game of rock paper scissors with technoblade because he doesn’t have a royalty theme. but doom players are all about rules, and fate, and All Things Must End, and when paired with the destructive nature of being a bard, it’s very much “all things must end because i personally am going to end them”, or in sapnap’s case, “all things must end because i am going to set them on fire”.

BADBOYHALO / the page of life one who provides others with life | life is the aspect of healing, resurrection, and life force. last but not least, bad!! the page of life! i assigned BBH this because of the role he tends to take in the minecraft manhunts- he’s the biggest communicator, he instructs others and reminds them to think stuff through. he’s happy to let george and sapnap take more of a lead in hunting as well, which goes along with the idea that pages are one of the most powerful classes, but only after they realize their potential. as he exists currently, bad isn’t one of the most powerful people here, but he’s definitely an inspiring force and has impact on all of them!!

and that’s that!! i have some thoughts about other members of the mcyt community, but i also really wanted to have a full fansession, so now i have the power to write fic about it >:) i hope you enjoyed reading, and if you want to send an ask to talk about this more in depth im always happy to!! have a good day!

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loveislarryislove · 2 years

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2021 Writing Reflection

I know it’s now the new year but shhhh I wanted to do this and I put it off until the last minute, this is who I am as a person.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 11 -- that’s honestly more than I thought!

2. Word count posted for the year: 90,427

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Critical Role, The 100

4. Pairings: Larry, BeauYasha, Lexa/Costia

5. Story with the most...

Hits: Could We Be Such Fools

Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: something brand new you've never seen

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I’m proud of a lot of my stories for a lot of different reasons. It’s hard to pick just one, so I’m going to shout out a couple:

Could We Be Such Fools and like the light coming through the windows were both ideas I’d been exploring for a long time, so I was excited to finally get to make them a reality.

Could We Be Such Fools is also the longest fic I’ve written in five years (since 2016!), and the third longest fic I’ve written ever.

there's so much that I can't touch was the most self-motivated fic I’ve written in a while -- it was still for the Troped collection, but I wasn’t officially in the event so I had no deadline or specific accountability holding me to it.

You Only Hold Me In Winter (so how can you know me at all) was written for the Troped: Visual challenge, where a nine-picture moodboard was used as inspiration. That’s a lot of pieces to try to reference in one fic, especially since I was trying to avoid the Harry Potter vibes that the moodboard was themed around because I wanted an extra challenge. It was a hard one, but I really enjoyed writing the story and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Again, I can see different accomplishments or importances in different fics, so there’s usually something I’m proud of, but it is true that I have some fics I like better than others -- ones I felt I could have done better or that were rushed or just didn’t turn out how I hoped. And that’s okay! It’s still a learning experience.

I think I’d probably pick You Choose Your Race (And Then You Run) -- this was another Troped fic for Troped: Madness, and I just didn’t feel like I had a good idea for the assigned tropes -- specifically the “based on a children’s book” one just threw me for a loop. I was satisfied with the result, but it wasn’t really the kind of story I was as interested in writing.

I was also really blown away with the response to i know i've grown (but i can't wait to go home) -- I wrote most of it the day it was due, so it felt rushed, and I worried it was a little too cliche or that the plot would feel unsatisfying. But it was one of my top fics all year! Just goes to show that you never know what will resonate with people.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I received a lot of great comments this year, on old and new fics, and I love all of them, but I think one of the standout responses was actually @honestlytrulycompletelysteady’s tags on a reblog of the fic post for something brand new you’ve never seen:

#annika!!!!#i've just had the best hour reading this!!! at work!!!!#it was so good !!!!#like enjoying my favourite ice cream#🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#thank you

It’s just... such a heartwarming description and feeling. I don’t technically endorse reading fic at work, but it feels like a great honour that you did. And the “favourite ice cream” description, just... *clenches fist* my heart!!!

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

The sarcastic cynic in me wants to say that writing is always hard haha. I don’t remember any particular scenes or stories that I especially struggled with, but in general I just kept alternating between having too many commitments and no commitments. The Wordplay event this year overlapped with Troped: Visual, and then for the end of the year I had two fic exchanges and a fic fest to finish over the course of a month or so. I am terrible at getting things done without deadlines, so I procrastinate to the last minute, but it’s all worked out for the most part!

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I don’t usually write smut, it’s just not my vibe most of the time, so I was quite startled by how things, ah, escalated in Could We Be Such Fools. I may have doubled my total smut word count haha. But I’m quite pleased with how it turned out!

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oof, it’s so hard to pick one. Especially without quoting like a whole page of text. I think for a snippet, I’ll go with this one from there's so much that I can't touch:

Lexa stands on the balcony, looking down at the city. Looking at her people. The people she has sworn to protect. The people she has given up everything to lead -- to serve.

Has she failed them?

“It feels like nothing I do is enough,” she whispers. “I can’t protect her.”

“That is the curse of leadership,” Becca says softly. Her hand is feather soft on Lexa’s shoulder, a comfort and a weight at the same time. “We can never save them all.”

Lexa bows her head, biting back words she can’t decide if she means -- I don’t want to save them all; I just want to save her. She wants both. But she’s learning that she might not be able to have either.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I don’t know if this counts, since it’s more art than writing, but I’ve started making more and more fic posts this year! I’ve never thought of myself as very good at visual media, and I definitely still feel like I have a lot of room to improve, but I’m feeling more confident and motivated and it’s feeling more fun than intimidating! I think I made 6 posts, and while I still have difficulty thinking of images and finding things that fit my ideas and arranging everything, it’s been fun to gain that confidence. I look forward to making more in the year to come!

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’m doing a “goals” post as well, which I’ll link once it’s up (edit: here it is!), but I think the big-picture things would be that I’d like to write for some new fandoms, I’d like to do more reading and beta-ing, and I’d like to try to do some more self-motivated writing rather than just for events. I’d also like to get back into some other media, like poetry and songs, as well as continuing to write stories.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

This might seem like a cop out answer, but the writing communities I’ve joined this year have been really wonderful, both @1d-library and @troped-fanfic-challenge. I’ve loved chatting on Discord, sprinting together, sharing ideas and projects, hyping each other up, promoting each other, all that jazz. It’s been great -- it’s kept me really motivated and excited, and it’s super cool to feel so connected to people whose work I really admire and respect. Thank you all <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Hmm, not a lot that I can notice offhand this year? I can definitely identify things in past years, but I’m not sure if there’s anything this time (or maybe I’m not distant enough yet to notice). Maybe just, like, having hard conversations with people you love? Or maybe feeling directionless/trying to find purpose in one’s future. Let’s not dig too hard into that haha.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don’t know that this is “new” wisdom, but it’s definitely something I believe and want more people to believe -- you don’t have to be ashamed of past content, even if you think it’s “bad” compared to where you are now. It was part of the process. Some of my first fics are pretty rough, looking back, both in terms of grammar and in terms of story, but I still genuinely enjoy reading them -- because I wrote stories I wanted to tell, and stories I wanted to read. When I read those stories back, I’m not ashamed of the cliches or the mistakes with when to start a new paragraph -- I’m proud, of how far I’ve come, of how much I’ve learned, of how much I’ve grown as a writer. Reading those old stories reminds me what I’ve accomplished and how much work I’ve put in to get here. That’s damn cool. If you think your writing now isn’t as good as you want to, that’s fine -- it’s part of the process, and you’ll get better if you keep going. And you might look back someday and realize, those stories you thought were terrible actually weren’t that bad after all!

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Several! Some are more thought out and specific, some more general and loosey-goosey, and who knows which ones will happen, but (in no particular order):

I need to finish my XmasXchange fic, thank god for extensions haha it’s still Christmas in my heart

More Troped! I’m especially stoked for the Throwback, and excited to see what other events happen and what stories they bring, from me and others

I have an idea for a Larry fic I really want to write this year based on “August” by Taylor Swift (and the rest of the teen love triangle). I have a really deep personal connection to that song, and I’d love to explore the story it tells me

I want to write more for my series of fluffy canon-divergent established-relationship Vax’ilmore moments because I just need that kind of softness in my life

I’m thinking of signing up for the @onceuponatimeficfest; I have an idea but it’s so out there that I’m almost intimidated by it haha. We’ll see!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I think most of the folks who want to do this have by now, especially since it’s the new year (I procrastinate like there’s no today only tomorrow), but I’d love to see anyone else’s answers who has done this -- so if you haven’t been tagged, please consider this an invitation, and please tag me in your responses! I’ll be tagging a few people who also expressed interest in seeing others’ answers, as well as some folks who I don’t think I’ve seen posts from and who might be interested in sharing:

@twopoppies @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @disgruntledkittenface @absoloutenonsense @lovingstheantidote @laynefaire @probably-voldemort @willexxmercer @northernxstories

#mine #fics #my fics

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todaydreambelieversfic · 3 years

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Author Spotlight: Flowerfan2 Day 3

Author: @flowerfan2

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Many. I am a perfectionist about sentence structure and really making sure the right feeling is coming through. I also dislike overwrought drama - but at the same time I love hurt/comfort - so I often go back over a scene and try to rein it in a bit and make it more natural. Sometimes I go back and add in more internal reflection from the pov character to flesh out the feel of the story.

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

I really don't know if I could - once something is posted it's pretty much done. I actually like reading my finished works.

What do you look for in a beta?

Cheerleading and support!

If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Oh my. I have often thought about Lovesong by andiheardeverything. It often occupied my thoughts and inspired some of my own writing. I'd love to write a sequel to it.

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

When I'm writing canon compliant fic I'm canon compliant, and a lot of my fics are either canon compliant or veer off at some point but are based in canon. I have very few truly AU fics.

Talk about a review that made your day.

Some of my fics deal with really tough issues, like depression. I am always very touched when someone lets me know that my portrayal of these types of issues helped them. In general, any comment makes me happy, and the ones that quote my lines back at me especially so!

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

This has happened a few times, and once it made me delete a story. I'm actually sorry now that I did that, but people's words can really hurt. Hopefully at this point I have developed a tougher skin!

What advice do you have to people just starting to write?

Just do it, and enjoy yourself.

Which fic do you most like to discuss with other people? Why?

I am thrilled to discuss any fic with people! Getting to know people through comments or other fic discussions is wonderful. Please come say hi on Tumblr!!

What's one aspect of writing fic that gets you really excited?

Posting. It's such a great feeling to just put a story out there. I've also had a lot of fun participating in challenges and various fandom events. And then there's always knowing you have a good idea and some free time to spend writing it!

***

Check out Flowerfan2′s Fics

Love On The Rocks - A look at the boys' struggle to fix what has become broken. AU after Season 5.

Apple of My Eye - This wasn't the first time Kurt had practically stopped eating, but it was the worst.

Beautiful Dreamer - Kurt really loves sleeping with Blaine. Not just the sexytimes kind of sleeping, although of course he loves that too. But just ordinary sleeping...

#author spotlight: flowerfan2

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djmarinizelablog · 3 years

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A Conversation with the Author of City Comma State, kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile

Had a short interview with the author of City Comma State, @kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile and asked her if I could share our conversation online---she said yes!

Did you know that Hange and Levi in her work was based on Spongebob and Squidward's interactions?

Read the entire transcript below:

-------------------------------------

djmarinizela (D): if i may ask, where and how did you learn to write so good? what inspired you to write city comma state?

kippielovesyou (K): i don't mind at all! it's genuinely just years of practice. i've been scribbling stories since kindergarten (i had a long standing multi part series in first grade about all my classmates). i think one thing is certain: having a strong understanding of characters whether you borrow them or they are your own is pretty key.

a lot of points [in Isayama's story] could have been better thought out or tighter. however, we all love his characters. a weak plot (or in the case of city comma state: no plot) can be ignored or forgiven if everyone loves the characters

i'll be honest, i spend a lot of time trying to understand why a character does things or reacts a certain way. and yes, sometimes, that means i act out scenes in my car while driving. it's embarrassing...

there's a lot more to it, but to me that's the most important thing

as far as how city comma state came about: i wanted to do a slow burn romance centered around levihan, but I also wanted to show how all these characters care about and support each other. i knew in the confines of the AoT world, anyone could die at any moment and that didn't work with the softer feelings i wanted people to enjoy. how can you enjoy the friendship between mike and hange if he dies? it's possible, but it upends all the warmth we were enjoying. so i wrote an AU. i wanted to keep levi with a rough background with many walls, and i wanted hange to have her own issues that they can work through together. and i love the idea of them adopting/supporting the 104th kids without the fear of sending them out to war

D: your answer is so profound and helpful, thank you so much! I can honestly say you pretty nailed it when it comes to character development---everyone has a character arc in your fic! [my next question] is about the gender discourse in your story. I know you started City Comma State pretty early in 2014, but even back then, the nonbinary identity wasn't widely known before. How were you able to flesh out the discourse on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and play it out on the dialogues and backstories?

K: it's pretty funny, a lot of the LGBTQIA+ has always been discussed i my family. we've had gay, lesbian, trans, gnc, bi and asexual people in my family for generations, as far back as the 20s (that we're aware of). hange's gender being debated made it a prime opportunity to write such an experience, some of which is borrowed from my own life. when i read older chapters i see certain slips in dialogue where i could have made an effort to be more neutral. we're in such a binary society that sometimes even if you feel in between, it slips in. in fact, i'm sure some people might take issue with the fact that i stuck with she/her for hange. i'm not sure i'd make a different decision today. i like this version of hange the way she is, and i hope hange's nb/gnc status comes across in more than just pronouns. hange's full identity is so much more than that and that is what i wanted to explore. and i think no matter where you fall on the whole LGBTQIA+ spectrum, you are more than just the label you've chosen. yes, in this story levi is bi/pan. but i don't think he ever says that explicitly, and he avoids labels. it seems fussy to him, which feels levi. discourse would not be his thing. i think even having a debate about whether or not he was bi or pan wouldn't be something he would want to engage in, he just wants to do what he wants. instead it's heavily implied. i think we forget since so many of us experience this discourse online and want to label things that there are people who don't want to involve themselves in it. it goes back to how would this character act. for instance, based on how levi is in canon, i can see many ways to interpret his sexuality. there's cues for a lot of different takes. but levi doesn't seem like the type that would need a definitive label in order to be happy. there's many ways to interpret hange's gender (and i've written several takes, some where they're more insistent on their pronouns), but i think hange's more excited to explore life than worry too much about much about how they're addressed or how someone talks about them. maybe another character might be more caught up in labels but hange and levi not so much

D: No, don't be sorry, I am more than thankful for your answer. I really appreciate it! I don't get to have these kinds of conversations with other writers, so I am grateful for your insights.

K: a really funny anecdote for you: i loosely based the idea of my levihan off of spongebob and squidward. you know, since they start out as neighbors and hange is more invasive than levi is used to

D: that's.... a stretch. but thanks for the tidbit! was the annual star wars contest also something that you do in your family? that part as well as all the geeky references won me over tbh!

K: it was an extremely loose inspiration! but hange mowing her lawn in the middle of the night so levi wouldn't be mad at her is on par with a spongebob move. and um...my family, while they can be a little nerdy, is not nerdy enough to do the star wars tournament! i made that up entirely

i just imagined hange having eccentric family, so they have very unusual traditions that none of the children question

i'll be the first to say a lot of city comma state is unrealistic and a little bit of a domestic fantasy. there's a lot of problems with money, employment and such that hange and levi SHOULD have but that's a little too real and not what i want to be the focus of this story. like hange landing a job that gives her a day off and she doesn't suffer a severe pay cut as a result? unrealistic. but i have other things i want to tackle. plus, in canon we have humans that turn into giants and 3D maneuver gear which would probably kill its user in real life. i think making certain parts of this fanfic a little idealistic is okay

D: are there other works that influence your writing? or authors that inspire you to write?

K: There's too many influences to count. reading is so important and even things that are bad are helpful. i actually was trying to read a YA series that seemed really cool and i had to stop reading because so many things were so annoying (I won't reveal which, since i think it has a small but dedicated fandom and i don't want to rain on their parade, it is purely a taste thing to some degree). instead of being upset and thinking that I wasted my time, i took note of what made me stop reading (that is a long list of things i didn't like so i won't bother to outline each one). even if it's something as small as a fanfiction that you had to click out of, ask yourself why you stopped. Especially with fanfiction: you already like these characters, what you're looking for is usually pretty specific (a pairing, an au, a specific scenario, etc). why, when this author has ticked all your superficial boxes, did you stop reading? and when you love something as yourself why. Ask yourself why you love the source material even! do you really love the plotlines and the world or do you love the characters? Is the dialogue strong? something to also pay attention to: people in general. how do they speak, gestures, facial expressions. really listen to how people talk (Youtube podcasts are really good for this!).

i think people would be surprised, a lot of what i really like to read is very all over. from surrealist novels, to classic literature, to science fiction aimed at children (i'm finally reading animorphs after almost 20 years!). and what i write for original fiction doesn't reflect what i'm probably best known for.

D: thanks for this, Kippie! looking forward to reading more of your works!

K: i'm still amazed at the response! writing is so solitary to me and i don't really look at my numbers. it never occurred to me that people would be discussing my fic!

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If you haven't read Kippie's Levihan fic yet, here's the link to get started: City Comma State

#levihan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #interview #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #mine #djmarinizela

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lululawrence · 3 years

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Wordplay 5.0 Reflections

I dunno what else to call it lmao it doesn't sound right to call this a meme, but whatever it is, here we are! lol @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed came up with these questions after @wordplayfics wrapped up last year and I love them so i'm gonna use them for this year as well.

I'm going to start out with listing the prompts and linking the fics i wrote for each one for everyone's reference, though I'll be linking them again through the answers as well. I'm also putting all the questions and answers beneath a read more because, as usual, I rambled lmao Alright! Here we go!

Struggle: I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right Reduce: I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) Divide: He Carries The Key Rise: Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy Sketch: I Heard You Talking

How did you come up with your ideas for the fics? Can you take us through your process after first receiving the prompt?

I don't know that I have a set way I come up with my fic ideas for Wordplay. It all depends on the prompt and what fic ideas I've got on my "to write list" that might fit that prompt. If nothing on my to write list fits or can be tweaked for a prompt, then I just go through my prompts tag until something strikes me for it, or I just ruminate on the different ways the word can be used and see if something comes up.

So, when I did the random word generator for the first prompt and "struggle" was the word that came up, I immediately thought of "struggle bus". lolllll and when I went looking through my to write list, I saw the girl Payneshaw fic I wanted to write and I was like omgggggg Nick ABSOLUTELY is riding the struggle bus the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME and I knew that was my fic for the week. lmaoooo and there you have it.

What is your favorite fic you wrote for Wordplay this year?

oooohhhh this one is HARD AND MEAN lmaoooo i forgot this was a question asked. okay legitimately i cannot choose a favorite because i'm actually stupidly proud and happy with all of the fics i wrote this year.

If you’ve participated in previous years of Wordplay, what has been your favorite prompt from all years you participated in?

WELP. as the creator of this challenge, i've participated in all 5 years which means there've been 25 prompts i've written. lolllll and honestly i think my favorite prompt is STILL from the first year. it was "bloodsucker". like, how great of a prompt is that???

What was the shortest fic you wrote this year? The longest?

the shortest one this year was... I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right at 4381 words.

the longest one was... I Heard You Talking at 10580 words.

What fic of yours surprised you?

i think all of them surprised me in some way. that's part of the joy of writing fics, isn't it? lollll but i think the one that surprised me the most was Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy. it was a last minute change (i'll elaborate in the answer to the next question haha) and it was a VERY different direction than i had planned. it was all based off of a photo i saw on tumblr, and there was no prompt with the photo. i got to just take in the basic idea of the sticker being placed on a bridge overlooking the city and what might make that spot a good kissing spot.

now, as an ace who doesn't actually ENJOY kissing, i... didn't think about the fact that i would be writing a lot of it. lollll i actually have a super hard time writing kisses and trying to make them varied while also relaying the emotional intimacy of the moment, and then add on top of that the fact that once i started writing the fic, both harry and louis let me know pretty much as soon as words started getting written that they were both genderqueer and that worked differently for each of them, so harry would use they/them pronouns and louis would use he/him still, it just made things more interesting. and the way the fic developed??? like, i had a very vague idea of what would happen in the fic. so the way it actually came about all surprised me.

long answer short, from the very start, this fic surprised me and i was just along for the ride. it was a BLAST and i sure do love it, even if it does have the second lowest hits of all the fics i wrote this year haha

Were there any prompts you struggled to find an idea for?

STRUGGLED HAHAHA sorry. just funny since struggle was a prompt this year. ANYWAY. the prompt i had the hardest time with was defo rise. i've had this fic idea ever since greg james tweeted with shawn mendes months ago about how shawn basically forgot his interview with greg on the breakfast show, so greg had to last minute wing a LOT OF AIR TIME AND SHOW CONTENT and he did a great job, but it brought about some funny content... anyway. that made me wanna write a triad a/b/o fic where greg is louis and harry's beta. rise was going to be used in a lot of different ways through the fic, as well. because breakfast show requires greg to rise from bed early, he gets a rise out of harry and louis with his behavior and overt flirtations with shawn, they have to rise above their jealousy, etc etc etc. i was VERY EXCITED.

except i only had three days i was able to write every week this summer, and those were really really difficult to get. if i wanted to write on tuesday or thursday, i was often curling up with my laptop in a dark room with some caffeine and candles burning to soothe me after the insanity that is my life atm, and write for as long as i could before my brain stopped functioning, which was often only around 30 min. but see, that particularly week was the worst part of my son's 18 month sleep regression, which meant instead of him sleeping and letting me write, i was driving him around or trying to rock him back to sleep or letting him play in an attempt to tire him out etc etc etc and by friday morning i had to admit to myself there was no way i could write that a/b/o fic in my one guaranteed evening to write every week (saturday, btw). so i was suddenly left with around 36 hours to find a new fic idea and develop it enough to be able to write it in one evening.

as i said in the answer to the first question, i usually go to my prompts tag to see what might inspire me with this prompt word in mind, but for this one that wasn't the first place i went. i tried looking at more definitions even though i'd done that earlier and nothing was inspiring me. so i then spoke to several friends and was still having a hard time finding any ideas that felt like something i would enjoy writing and could do so quickly.

by saturday morning, knowing i had less than 12 hours to figure out what i was writing so i could actually WRITE IT in only like 2-3 hours of writing time, i finally sat down and scrolled through my prompts tag. once i did, i saw the photo for the "good kissing spot", and i immediately thought of sunrise. so i ran with it. but i wanted to make it stylinshaw, so how would i work that in, etc etc etc. it was just very fast and very difficult trying to figure out how i would structure it so it could be a fun meet cute kind of fic, but also work into them actually building a meaningful connection etc and... well. it was a lot. haha so yeah, it was just a hard time overall that week, but i'm super proud of it in the end.

Were there any prompts you had an idea for but ended up writing something different? If so, what made you choose to change what you wrote? Do you think you’ll ever write your original idea at a later date?

HA okay well i already answered most of this above, but for the last part of this question, yes i will absolutely write my original idea at a later date. the whole reason i decided not to do it wasn't because i couldn't turn it into a fic that could be written in that one writing session, but because i had hopes for what that fic would be, and i didn't want to shorten and condense it enough to do that. i didn't want to have to lessen the dreams i have for that fic in my head, so i decided i would just put it back on my to write list and save it for later. who knows when, but that fic will absolutely get written.

What do you think was the most difficult as well as the easiest part about the Wordplay Challenge?

most difficult was 100% finding the time to write. that was insanely hard for me all summer, but by the time wordplay was going, things at home had ramped up to being very overwhelming regarding the demands on me and my time, and what i had been doing to carve out some time for myself and writing wasn't working anymore, so i had to adjust even more with the understanding that i was working on a really strict timeline too. so yeah. just finding the time was absolutely the hardest part for me.

easiest part was the actual writing. these fics really flowed from me, outside of the pack fic, that one was actually pretty difficult to make sure i was getting the dynamics exactly the way i wanted to have them turn out, but even with that aspect, it still was like it flowed from me most of the time. these fics really just took over and i was along for the ride. it was a blast.

If you participate again next year, is there anything you’ll do differently? If so, what?

lmao well assuming people still want wordplay to happen again, i'll run it again and very likely will take part. so... with the difficulty i had in finding any time to do anything this summer, i was actually ridiculously stressed when it came to the writing part, but also the modding aspect of it. so i am not sure that i'll run it during the summer again next year. i might have it go during the early fall once school is back in session so i at least have only one child at home instead of three to battle lol so that's one thing i'll hopefully be doing differently.

as for the writing aspect, i don't think so actually. i've done 5 years of this, and i'm having fun with it. haha if i ever find a fic idea i think could work for it, i would consider doing a series for it next year, but it all depends on if there's something i'd like to write that could work for that kind of set up with this challenge.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading!!! xxx

#wordplay 5.0 #writing stuff #my fics #mine

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