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fmhobeus · 3 months

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fwb!suguru who knew he wanted to fuck when he first laid eyes on you. then wanted to take you out to endless dinners to chat his ears off when he first spoke to you.

fwb!suguru who grew to like you without fucking you, almost forgot it was what he wanted you for – a life together or a night together?

fwb!suguru whose dick got painfully hard when you taunted him, rolled your eyes at him or outwitted him. he lived for your sassiness.

fwb!suguru who happened to fuck you on a random night unexpectedly and it changed the trajectory of his life.

fwb!suguru who stayed after every dick appointment. cuddled with you on the bed, watched movies or your favourite TV show, ordered take out and held you in his arms till you both inevitably fell asleep.

fwb!suguru who couldve sworn he wasn't in love with you. he would still fuck other people (and then come back to you, poor baby was thinking of you the whole time)

fwb!suguru whose grown accustomed to your presence. he calls you when he isn't feeling okay, you call him when something bothers you. he's grown used to you telling him all about work, how you got your nails done, how you saw a cute cat near your apartment. trivial details, which coming from anyone else he would hang up, but he looks forward to them with you.

fwb!suguru who eventually stops fucking other people and is just your man, without you knowing.

fwb!suguru who is determined to mark you up in placed people will notice. your neck, your thighs, your collarbones.

fwb!suguru who believes in giving you his all. all of his long girthy dick that pumps you full it should be criminal, his long slim fingers that have made you orgasm so often and hit that deep spot with unbeat ease, his long tounge... oh god his tounge. he thinks maybe even his long life ahead is yours too, all yours. his little kids too maybe? he doesn't like to think too much about that.

fwb!suguru who has to have your pussy checked with his tounge daily. he has to lap up your insides no matter any circumstances. his voice purrs across your body when he talks you through your orgasm.

"mhmm yeah cum all over my face beautiful, I know you want to"

fwb!suguru who gets sick at the thought of you sitting so pretty for another man when you tell him you're going on a date. suguru who looks so disturbed at the thought of another man even looking at his pretty girl who isn't really his.

fwb!suguru who takes you to corporate events just so he can call you his girlfriend, even if it's just pretend. when you question him it's always "easier explanation than a friend i fuck on the regular, isn't it?"

fwb!suguru who knows how you like your coffee in the morning. he knows what you like for breakfast, your comfort food, your hobbies, your favourite movies, your least favourite movies, your icks, your past. he knows you like he knows himself. he thinks of you when he passes your favourite cafe, he texts you when he sees something in the colour you like.

fwb!suguru who is sure he hasn't felt this way before, who is so vulnerable with you that it scares the shit out of him.

fwb!suguru who is afraid, angered at everything about you. he's angry at how you lull him into a sense of security, how you hold him, how sweet your voice sounds when you call him by his name, how you take care of him, how you listen to him. he hates how your pussy clenches his dick for dear life, milking it dry and how you never let a drop of his cum go to waste, licking it up like a little slut. he's fearful too. about losing you. about where loving you the way he does leads. loving you? wait. he loves you? fuck. fuck. fuck. this hasn't been according to plan at all.

#somebody lied to her #aniya writes ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა #jjk #suguru ♡#jjk smut #jjk x reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto x reader #geto smut #jjk suguru #suguru geto smut #jjk ^ ~

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jaemified · 6 months

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last christmas | part 2

“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”

❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader

❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)

❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships

❆ wordcount ; 2.4k

❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.

♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)

read below the cut !

you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.

sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).

but, that was a year ago.

who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?

your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.

meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.

your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).

once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.

they never approved of him anyway.

it was fine for the meanwhile.

at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.

it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!

you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.

“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.

“helping you leave.” he muttered.

“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”

“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”

“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”

he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.

“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.

“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.

sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.

“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.

“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.

“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.

“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.

“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”

“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”

taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.

“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.

“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.

you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.

“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”

“thank you.”

a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.

you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.

considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’

“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.

“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”

“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”

“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”

your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.

“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.

“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.

after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.

walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.

“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.

before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”

you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.

“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.

“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.

“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.

“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.

“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”

“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”

you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.

“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.

he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).

the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.

“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.

“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”

“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”

you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.

you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.

carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.

“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.

“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.

“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”

“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.

“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).

“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).

you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.

“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.

“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”

“oh and- one more thing?”

“sure, what else?”

“what time does the store close?”

“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”

“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”

“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.

“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”

“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”

“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”

“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”

“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”

“by any chance, might you need-”

“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.

“ill get to it.” you call back.

“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.

“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.

it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!

even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.

“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”

“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.

“its only 11 minutes though.”

“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”

“ouch, you need to go out more.”

“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”

finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.

it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.

“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.

“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”

“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.

“ill take you home. come on.”

maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.

you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.

he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.

soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.

“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.

“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.

“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”

sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.

he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”

“wait! i never got your name?”

“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.

you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.

“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.

“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”

“in the bathroom.”

“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”

“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”

you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.

“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”

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remcycl333 · 1 year

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yall want to get into the void state?

when every blogger is just telling you to get into the state of the wish fulfilled? when all you need to change is self- through changing your inner state

the void state is literally just a state. neville told us "we are constantly passing through states like travellers". we are always in a state. we are always conscious of being *something*, we are always in I AM ___ you could be in a state of being rich therefor you believe yourself to be rich ie " I AM rich" if you are in a state of beeing poor you identify yourself as "I AM poor".

the void state is literally just the state we occupy with simply being conscious of only being, it is just I AM followed by nothing. no physical body, no circumstances just consciousness.

the void does not give you results instantly because its some magical power you encounter it is only instant because it is the state of nothing but consciousness, therefor you can chose what to be consious of with a blank state, or in other words you chose what come after the I AM because there is nothing after it.

you can easily manifest as quickly just by changing states. the only reason why it may not be instant is because you are already occupying another state (most likely the opposite state of what you desire like I AM poor instead of I AM rich)

but all you need to do is persist in the new I AM because dominant states/ your dwelling state is what reflects onto your 3D.

you do not enter the void state, you dont enter any state , because they are all already in you; the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved, the confident and the insecure, the good and the bad and the indifferent, they are all played by the same actor: YOU

you get to decide which stat you want to be. so you can just decide you are the void state, but once you decide dont try and feel symptoms or pay attention to if you can still feel your body, you are already the void so simply persist in that state.

it is all states. yall we can go back in time, we can change our whole lives to every single detail, but youre telling me persisting for a few days is too long? yall are so blinded by the void craze that you cant take a step back to see all the time you wasted crying over the void couldve been time persisting.

youve been trying to get into the void for months now, and you dont want to try any other method because the void is instant? do you hear yourselves? how is it instant when youve been waiting for months, trying every single day desperate to wake up differently. to me that sounds like a lot of time to wait for you desires when you could simply fulfil yourself in imagination at anytime anywhere instantly

im not trying to hate on anyone or try and invalidate any of your situations. i discovered the law during the peak of the void craze and it was everywhere, so i was also so desparate, its like i could see the cheat code to life right in front of my hands but i still couldnt grasp it. i took a step back and i really understood neville and also discovered edward art and learnt how easy manifesting is (without the void)

i hope you can all be kind to yourselves and please PLEASE stop pestering these poor bloggers about how to get into the void and harassing them when they tell you maybe take a break

EXACTLY, i feel like so many people treat the void as somewhere outside of them that they are going to travel to. but no, it's literally just you. it's just a state!

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finnitesimal · 9 months

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Ordem Paranormal Quarantena fucking knocked it out of the park it was insane Im grappling with so much I'm so insanely tired

There was a funny bit I was thinking of around the whole second bit where I was going Carol you hallmark protagonist fuck

Because first of all her name. that was the main part it's on the same level as Noel and Nick and Holly but there were also certain aspects of her character that in my delirious mind reminded me of the hypocrisy and drama of the typical independent business lady in a christmas movie as well as the I-can-do-no-wrong mindset of a romantic fantasy shoujo romance protagonist

And I thought. Man. There was a very clear path this story couldve taken with these characters and setting if it were not roleplay.

(note: not talking about the ccs or the actual characters but the Tropes the characters fall into and Could've been in generic science fiction horror)

A plucky new scientist with dreams to make a difference in an evil monster-ridden world and prove her skills despite being underestimated and looked down on by her friends and colleagues, and her direct senior with whom she has a negative relationship with due to his demonstrated lack of practical skill but mysterious higher connections to the board and therefore is ranked higher while she falls behind. She has moments of butting heads with him before the disaster breaks out in the facility and she has to struggle to stay alive and hidden until she's rescued by that same suddenly impressive senior with whom there's multiple tight spaces to be stuck with and convenient makeovers and sudden cold they have to share body warmth for. It's overWhelmingly easy to guess the plot

The plot in which None of the gang are mentioned. Because in this hypothetical B-list horror romance, they don't exist as people, but plot devices and tropes

They're there to provide funny moments and emotional weight as well as conflict to the overdone plot.

You have Luis, tank, everyman strongman with a soft heart and unclear but dangerous living conditions (poor). Probably the backup boyfriend in case the thing with Mikael doesn't work out, ends up sacrificing his life to save her due to some completely preventable situation cause she was too stubborn to listen, and gets a future project (maybe even a baby) named after him.

You have Jeffrey, funnyman, scapegoat, coward with zero friends and terrible priorities, multiple jobs (poor). Kind of useless, constantly infuriating and taking up space and meddling with things he doesn't know Anything about when she could've made a solution if he'd handed it over and dies to the zombies for the crime of irritating our protag.

Diego, hippie allegory, lives out of his backpack he literally calls his home, his life (poor) and has herbs (weedhead) that she'd try to be Fixing and eventually succeed in 'reforming' and sending him back to school due to her natural disposition in helping those in need.

You have Lucie, finally another girl, unfortunately in both horror and tropey romance, we Hate any other woman besides our all-powerful and beloved protagonist, so she's the nerd archetype but not the cute, efficient way our protag is nerdy but in the weirdo unnecessarily jargon-filled and Unappealing (unattractive) way. She dies the same way in the movie.

Benito was Made to be hated. It's the sly evil smirk and sunglasses and a beanie with the unprofessional labcoat and talking about things he doesn't understand like he does and taking her accomplishments and mocking her life as a scientist fighting to save the world and how he always seems to be looking down at her and definitely wouldve been the one to hide an infection and endanger the group he's the character whose death you're Meant to starting cheering for when he's dragged kicking and screaming onto the rusty laden, jagged roof and played with and pounced on till his insides squeeze out of him like toothpaste

Mattias was there so our protagonist could have her badass "I'm not like you I won't take a life because you're a coward" speech before he turns and nearly gets the group

Emi and Anderson were there so we could have a real man-to-man fatherly conversation about what it means to protect the ones you love and to pass on the torch as 'Leader' before he succumbs to the virus and begs to die before he hurts his girl, and so they could have wholesome pseudo-parenthood with a confused but reasonable child who absolutely understands that they're doing the right thing because they're the good guys and calls Carol mom when she's in danger near the end

It could've been a zombie survival plot about two arguably well-off individuals facing the consequences of a project they still believe could change the world and their tag-along group of meatshields to throw at the problem until their glorious melancholy escape where they're hailed as heroes for containing and eventually completing their groundbreaking research

and a horrific experience for a group of people who just wanted to make an easy few bucks till the next paycheck. They could've split those 50 dolalrs and jumped each other in the parking lot they didn't need to go through all that

Carol is driven, she's serious, she's ambitious and believes in the good that her research (the team's research) will bring and she's surrounded by people who don't understand that they're the good guys and are trying to find fault in her So she's willing to make sacrifices so she's willing to take it upon herself to decide who the team needs more she doesn't care if she dies as long as the world knows she saved it she needs to hear anything and everything people say in case it's about her or something she might care about it she's got braided hair and easily breakable glasses

Mikael is keeping things to himself to preserve his level of control over the situation because who knows what these guys are really like and he Saved them by telling them everything they need to know and they repay him by chopping his arm off? they're ungrateful and unserious So he kept himself safe while they had numbers and clues on their side They Managed Didn't They? Aren't they alive right now? they don't understand how important it is that he lives no one understands how important it is that Nidere lives he's got stylish curly hair and a fitted turtleneck

They both have a need to be heroes in a sense, to matter in the grand scheme of things they need to be at the forefront they need to be the ones who saved Everyone. Everybody is Only Alive because of THEM.

It's just really fascinating to me how. A different perspective of things kind of switches their roles as protagonists and cannon fodder

#late night thoughts on it #ordem paranormal quarentena #qpq spoilers #jeffrey bacon is my final girl

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hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 9 months

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alright chat . it's time for "dissecting the inherent tragedy of transformers: botbots and the relationships in them":

toxic doomed yuri edition ( referring to these two ↑ )

(yes, i made this picmix myself 4 this. i have no regrets. also no tl;dr because you guys NEED to read this)

something i want y'all to understand is that it is Not about the idea that spud wasn't loved. he was VERY much loved by everyone, ESPECIALLY burgertron.

the whole point is that he sabotaged himself in the process of ruining someone else's life, someone who valued him and his word above others. he and burgertron BOTH let their ego get in the way of their personal lives, the only difference is that burgertron at least had the dignity to swallow his pride and apologise when it mattered most.

He gave spud a second chance because he loved him. because he recognised that he does deserve redemption, and above all else, he wants spud to know he cares, even if that means he'll never see him again, or they'll never be friends. (Even in light of the "sidekick" comment, i genuinely don't think he held any inherent malice in that statement. even if burgs was an egotist, he still loved him.)

the worst thing burgertron did in their relationship was be unaware, and im sure that despite his ego, he never meant for spud to get hurt. that's why he went out of his way to protect him, when he couldve just stood there and let spud get put on the back of a truck to never be seen again. it would have been easy.

but he didn't. he did the hard thing. the Right thing. he stood up for someone who never did the same for him.

Spud Was Loved. Spud Is loved. and sometimes love isn't going to look pretty, or manifest in holding hands and cuddling, and it isn't all rainbows and sunshine. it can hurt. it can be letting go of someone who you hurt by accident, who you never meant to harm, but it happened anyways because you made the fatal mistake of being oblivious.

And that's what Burgertron did. he let Spud go, because he understood they both needed time to heal on their own terms. regardless of if he's mad at him or not, he does still harbor positive feelings for him, and he stood up for him during times he probably shouldn't have. If he ACTUALLY hated spud, he wouldn't have stuck his neck out for him at bot prom. or believe spud when he was lying through his teeth in the games.

And that's what makes them so tragic. perhaps in another world, another life, they'd have been Actual good friends, who truly stuck by each other. maybe things would have been different.

But we'll never know that now, will we?

#botbots tag 🏪#tf botbots #botbots #transformers botbots #media analysis #character analysis #picmix #gif warning #burgertron #spud muffin #they make me feel SHRIMP emotions you dobt GET IT #they were DOOMED from the start not of their own volition but because of other people deciding what their roles were going to be #and they obviously coped with that in their own very different ways that clashed with one another!!!!!!#but despite all of that burgertron is still WILLING to pick up the pieces if it means spud is going to be ok #because it's not about his ego or fame anymore. it's about how much he loves his friends even if their dynamic is soured #their breakup was messy and awful and resulted in a lot of pain #but he's not going to let his anger get the best of him: he WANTS spud to get better #he wants HIMSELF to get better #i want season 2 so fucking bad holy shit PLEASE #the themes of loss and growth are so important in this show it has just hit me #FUCKKKKKKK #im gonna be insane about this forever

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basil-does-arttt · 1 month

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I see a lot of people (including myself) tend to think Nero was accidental. That he wasn't planned on either Vergil's part or Nero's mom's part, he was just a byproduct of circumstances or whatever and thats why he was abandoned by his mother in the orphanage.

But what if he wasnt accidental at all?

What got me thinking about this was Vergil's line in his ending in DMC4SE; "Soon they shall know this devil's power. The power of a son of sparda".

Theres no way he would've been talking about Dante. By that point in time he likely assumed Dante was either dead or long gone off on his own thing, and he probably wouldn't be meaning himself either because he's leaving fortuna in this cutscene. That leaves one option: Nero.

Vergil wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. Thats why he was in Fortuna in the first place, to learn more about Sparda and the life he lived, what he did and accomplished, etc. Sparda had two sons, and you probably know where im going with this by now.

Maybe thats why Vergil did too. He wanted to follow in his dad's footsteps, and being the misguided and naive teenager he was, he couldve thought that was the next step in his journey. (Then promptly realized he either didnt want or wasnt ready for a son and fucked off)

"Soon they shall know this devil's power. The power of a son of sparda".

Not just any son; His son.

Another thing that makes me lean into this theory is how he reacted to the revelation of Nero being his son from Dante in DMC5. He didnt sound all that surprised, if you ask me.

His reaction comes across to me as if he knew of this "son" ready, but of course since he had never met Nero in his life, he didnt know who this son was. He knew he had a son, he just didnt know it was Nero specifically;

Nero, who he'd just spent basically an entire game relying on and trusting his fate to (and dante ig but thats not the focus here) as V, Nero who he ripped the arm off of to regain Yamato unknowing of who he really was - only that he had Yamato - and Nero who he'd just abandoned yet again to fuck off to the top of the Qliphoth where he intended to meet one of two fates to his battle with Dante; death, or survival, and neither of those involved his son at all.

And now that he knows who his son is, now that he's met and has known his son for a while now actually, he's left to deal with the guilt of abandoning him and leaving him on his own for the last 25(ish) years. For hurting him, mutilating him, damn near fucking killing him as Urizen. This son who he never had any intention of knowing, ever, not even once.

This son who he now has to learn to love, or at least accept as a part of him and his life, whether Nero himself accepts it back or not.

(And yknow, i think things will work out fine for them if capcom ever decides to make another entry into the timeline. Nero seemed pretty set on keeping his father alive after all, why would he bother if he didn't care? And Vergil seems to be making an effort - albeit an awkward one but its still an effort nonetheless - to be present in Nero's life at least to some degree judging off that main menu screen of them sitting together in the van in tense silence.

And he does care about Nero, way more than he lets on. Gifting his book to Nero is clean proof of it, that book which represents his heart. His love, his soul, his being.

So yeah. I think they’ll turn out okay.)

#idk thats my take on Nero's conception #i was replaying dmc 4 and hearing that line by vergil got my brain gears turning #i think if they shared a heart to heart over some hot chocolate and a pillow fort all their problems would be solved #devil may cry #dmc #nero devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #headcanons #theory #its just a theory #a GAME theor--

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suffarustuffaru · 3 months

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"i-it's not like i like you or anything but we're FRIENDS NOW. youre my friend. BUT ID STILL LEAVE YOU THE MOMENT THIS COMPANY FAILS OKAY ITS NOTHING PERSONAL" and proceeds to like clean up corpses for this guy on the down low. (Otto bdsm post)

I just find that last part so funny to compare pride if Otto with. Pride If "Otto was forced into destroying the kingdom for Subaru" vs Envy If "Otto was stopped from destroying the empire for Subaru" I'd love for those two to be able to talk.

haah i love how you quoted my own otto bdsm post... HAH (it is once again funny to me that ive opened pandoras box on this blog man........ now i get bdsm asks.... literally a dream come true and none of my mutuals will let me live it down BHAHA)

anyway!!! yeah yeah pride if otto vs envy otto are soo soo funny to compare <3 pfft i think ive seen you around in the comment section of my pride otto multichapter fic (ty once again for the nice comments and cool asks :O !!) but no yeah like pride and main otto are really funny. but the parallels too are super interesting..... you summarized them really well pfft.

like.... the way pride otto is Forced to do these things for pridebaru. like of course pride otto barely gets any screentime but theres stuff implied yknow? like he has to meet with subaru often, hes the messenger boy of sorts between subaru and russell fellow, otto also delivers the poison that kills julius, otto also dies somehow off screen before the climax of pride if.... and then main otto over here Choosing repeatedly to follow subaru and die for subaru and do all these sorts of things for subaru HAH - the contrast is really really strong!!

like of course wrath if otto is also a debt slave like pride if otto, but pride if otto's his own flavor of unique just bc hes forced to stay in proximity to subaru when he either may not want to or he feels similar to subaru (who goes "maybe in another life we couldve made good friends, but this Isnt that life")!! seeing how jaded and empty pride if otto is is super fascinating, bc you can kind of see the origins of it in main otto's tendency for cynicism and ruthlessness !!

but also on another level i feel like pride otto would be soooo confused and disgusted hearing about main otto. pride otto might be out here like "so not only are you friends with this guy but youre his boytoy too???? lmfao you loser" HAH

but yeah i think itd be fun for them to meet. pride if otto, the otto who never made friends and only learned to harden his heart and be forced to be an accomplice to horrible crimes...... main otto, the otto who made friends and is so so painfully devoted but it drives him to do drastic things some times.... crimes in the name of love versus being forced to assist in it.... like main otto learned how to make friends, learned the power of friendship with other people, but his loyalty is "poisoning" him while pride otto supplied the poison that kills julius...... ough......... and pride otto dies at the end...... all alone.... poisoned by other people, poisoned by what he had to do.....

but also i think my favorite bit of pride otto trivia is that word of god thing that pride otto took advantage of the fire and went to go kill russell fellow before he died.... specifically to avenge frufoo, his ground dragon.... like. ough. pain. absolute pain. pride ottos last act was to kill his main abuser??? to avenge his one and only friend????? im gonna bawl my eyes out HAHHA. but it seems that the power of friendship may have briefly won for a second there.... :,))) like im sure ottos most definitely killing russell fellow also bc thats Literally the guy that enslaved him but - the way its specifically noted that ottos main reason was Frufoo. im sobbing on the floor.

anyway i completely forgot where i was going with this but in conclusion pride otto is such a guy. 20 seconds of screentime??? dude stomped over my heart in 20 seconds. and if he met main otto i think he'd either go "wtf is wrong with you why would you do all of this for subaru??? him??? that CLOWN???? why???" or pride otto would wanna strangle main otto for being so lucky HAH. pride otto learns frufoo is still alive and well in main route and pride otto instantly launches himself at main otto like a feral cat -

#re:zero #rezero #otto suwen #pride if #ask #im reaaaally normal about pride if otto. i prommys. i totally dont think about the implications #the implications of “he killed russell fellow to avenge frufoo” IM GONNA BE SICK.... URGHHH.. PURE AGONY......#i do think the fun part of characters who change A Lot in the ifs is examining them and comparing their behavior to what we know about them #in main route to decipher what couldve happened and how they couldve developed to the point where theyre like That in the ifs!!!#very very fun. its like a mystery game HAH

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nicomrade · 8 months

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so i reread the scott pilgrim comics this week for the first time since 2019? lots of stuff happened in my life in-between + i learned to actually like, pay attention when reading so this specific reread felt really important to me- the issue of reading it in french for the first time aside. heres some misc thoughts i had while reading! some of this stuff is drawing from conversations about the comics ive had with people over the years, i dont mean to break any new ground here, and i dont have a specific lense to look at the comics through so its not structured like analysis either. full thoughts under the cut! i hope you all like going on this little trip with me ^-^

so first of, the X motif! this i KNOW i saw someone else talk about. it comes up first on scott's jacket with the X-men patch (and it comes up again in that context- "then wolverine is crucified on a big X") and also on knives' scott-shrine, her dad slashes an X over scott's picture. these are the two biggest exemples but there really are Xs constantly in the imagerie of the comics, which is great and i love. the comic is about fighting ramona's exs, and this is foreshadowing that scott himself will be one, but its also generally about the baggage that comes with existing. at its core its really comics about dealing with whats over, so we get into scotts relationships w envy & kim & knives (& ramona), but we also get into his relationship with lisa (what couldve been) we also see him move flats (the end of an era!), in volume 1 scott tells knives about the house he grew up in that now belongs to another family, scott breaking his bass & no longer being in a band, etc. theres sooooo many flashback sequences in these comics and references to the past… its all about the X.!

loosely related in the foreshadowing department there are genuinely so many background details of stories about people who dont matter to the comics that foreshadow later developments. the details of why Crash & the Boys changed drummers is straight up the dynamics of Clash at Demonhead, theres the Lucas Lee movie on the BG thats visually identical to scotts memory of when he got with kim- and the reveal that the lady in that movie wasnt dead is arguably foreshadowing for scott reviving in volume 6? if you know whats happening in the story, rereading the volumes really is so rewarding. it also helps on a first read cause unconsciously its not the first time you're hearing about these ideas so theyre easier to digest & accept. this is also what the character explicitely referencing what will happen later is for- "i wonder how the Boys & Crash can do music without instruments- maybe it will be relevant later in the evening" "i'd need a deus ex machina to beat todd", these help you accept when these things do seemingly "come out of nowhere" later in the scene (and poke cheerful fun at it lol these are fun comics)

a personal fave of mine is the phrase "read the comic sometime" thats repeated in the early volumes at characters who werent there for something. its 4th-wall breaking, its fun, it nicely tells lost readers where to head to without re-dumping exposition, AND it helps keep track of who was where for what scenes … stuff like "when did stacey & ramona become friends??" or "i cant believe this is stacey & neils first meeting!" or "wallace was already introduced to ramona earlier" … its all fun and helps you stay on the ride. i think this is why i would read the comics back to back to back to back and retained very little. its easy to passively read these comics and its not a bad thing! though it is better to actively read them, and take these notes as fun jokes & reminders, and not life boats.

the 4th wall breaks are also great for the side characters having their own lives in the background. there are a lot more time indications in scott pilgrim than i remembered, if youre paying attention i think its really really easy to have a nice timeline in your head. but when stuff is broken to scott its not "i started dating mobile during X month" or "i came out X months ago" its "i started dating mobile during volume 3" and "i came out during volume 5" that way the reader can more easily relate it to the story that was happening at the time- and to keep in mind during a volume reread. its not a writing technique for EVERY comic, but its something that scott pilgrim gets to have BECAUSE its a comic- and unapologetically so! this is not a work that wants to be more novel than graphic to be taken seriously. its a comic, and its silly, and its also a work of art, and you have to respect it on its own terms.

theres also, uhm, ill be quick on this point cause its kind of weird how lesbians/sapphics are handled in the comics. its not BAD but theres clearly a bias towards male homosexuality being fleshed out and lesbianism not so much. but so the start of volume 4 is when kim & knives make out and it really starts this obsession in scott about this thing he cannot tell anyone about but is still thinking about, that prepares for roxies introduction- ramonas ex girlfriend. that i believe is also when wallace first asks if scotts broken out the "L-word" yet and it gives more context to scott assuming its lesbians? and him then going all "why does everyone keep asking me about lesbians!" but it is also kind of weird re: lesbian fetishism (which IS pointed out with scotts weird poster that no one likes but thats it). and all that with ZERO canon lesbians! roxie is pretty bi-coded i would say with her insistance on being "HALF-ninja", but ramona is described as an american ninja in the early volumes so its kind of loose. idk its weird and i like to think julie came out as a lesbian cause stephen & her being a comphet4comphet couple is really good to me

a thing id never noticed before is that julie was suspecting stephen of having views on knives during volume 4? and its why she was so shitty to knives for a while there, and then its "worked out" at the end of the volume. this feeds into the constant fear of cheating during the story, theres of course todd & scott who do cheat, but also more grey areas of relationships. im thinking of ramonas anxieties around lisa, and when scott finds out roxie stayed over at ramona's. about stephen too, his response to julie apologizing for being jealous of knives is very… uncomfortable

"i have nothing to fear!" "right yeah..." surely because hes starting to realize hes gay, and possibly because he's already vaguely started seeing joseph. we dont get more details on his relationships i am not going to accuse him of cheating LOL. i truly dont care. but its an anxiety that comes up again and again whenever relationships are starting to turn sour- "are they cheating?" and having been in my 20s for a little bit yeah i get it. scott not telling ramona about his job- not telling her much of ANYTHING during vol 4- and ramona not sharing much either are also part of this. theres a reason all of this happens in volume 4, and next volume ramona finds out scott cheated on knives with her. loss of intimacy and the breakdown of dialogue is all part of cheating anxieties, whether there is actual cheating or not. "what do i not know? what else are they keeping from me? they dont talk to me but they talk to them? are they cheating on me?"

theres a really neat thing the comics do to show the breakdown of scott and ramona's relationship in volume 5 and its the scene where ramona goes shopping and scott tags along. she spends it not saying anything (until she tells scott she doesnt even like his band) and scott obsessively talking about his comics (X-men!) while she doesnt look particularly interested.

this is the scene where scott breaks up with knives again!!! the roles are reversed, scott is now the one talking about whatever while his girlfriend's unresponsive, and obviously ramona doesn't break up with him here and there, and they dont kiss in a goodwill, but the ressemblance is there. and like with the knives breakup scene, we have a good date variant of this! its their very first date from the first volume where scott does mostly talk about himself but ramona is having fun joking with him. here we are shown their relationship slowly crumbling and it lays the ground for ramona leaving at the end of the volume.

similarly to how scott battles all of ramonas evil exs (himself included), ramona does face all of scott's own exs. its not as spectacular but we see her fight knives in volume 2, then she fights envy in volume 3. we also have her comment on kim that she does like her (same with lisa, who is not strictly an ex but emotionally is treated as such. especially with how scott sleeping over at lisa's is paralleled with roxie sleeping over at ramona's) these are not comments she makes about stephen or julie, for exemple, its specifically women who had a close relationship with him. and uhm ramona also comments on liking wallace who- again- is not STRICLY an ex, but hes also part of that volume 4 cheating anxieties conversation, wallaces incessant flirting, mobile himself jokes (?) about finding wallace in the arms of another man, etc. but most convincingly to ME because we are talking about EXs here is the flashback of wallace inviting himself at scotts house being identical to lisas scene of inviting herself at scotts, scott saying the story of how he ended up living with wallace is "somewhat gay", and the general college flashbacks.

i think this points to scott & wallace having briefly dated in the past, or (because hes paralleled with lisa) having a "what couldve been" relationship where they didnt make anything of it and now the time window's passed and emotionally? kind of feels like an ex. and if anything they ARE ex-roommates lol. this is not a scollace truthing thing, im a firm mobillace guy ok -_- im just saying its there. back to the point of ramona facing scott's exs as well, YES i am including herself in it. her going to the wilderness during vol6 parallels scott going to the countryside, the very place he faces negascott properly. and the way ramona talks when she comes back its easy to see that she did face herself on that trip. & the figurines agree with me that the idea of a negaramona does exist :)

thats more or less all i had in mind, i also feel like i was finally able to properly enjoy the themes of the comics of facing your own shittiness and doing better, of the harms of being stuck in your own head, of never ending up like gideon (who is so attached to his exs that he literally cryogenizes them!) the warning of rewriting your own memories (or at least biased recollections of it) uhm how breakups suck! and how cheating is not always black & white but also fucking sucks !! being out of school (wanting to go back to school?) and looking for jobs- and yes if scotts life had a face i would punch it too its literally unfair how easily everything goes for him on that front, even freeloading with wallace (<- jealous). envys obsession with a guy who is so obviously shitty but who shes been best friends with since they were 11 is also kind of… ooh i get it now…. its yeah. i think they really are comics for being in your 20s, a lot about dating? but its so generally about human relationships and dealing with your baggage, i think it is still relatable without the specific romantic relationship experience.? i love these comics. everyone read scott pilgrim if you havent in a while (or ever!!!!) and try to think a little about it as you read it really is so worthwhile. and if anything theyre insanely funny, and wallace is there!

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim meta #spvtw #that is all ill tag ^-^ this is mostly for myself

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munamania · 6 months

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hi everyone this feels wildly self centered and silly but i made a guide to my dyke drama/lore that i talk about in barely coded but convoluted terms. i love internet safety. doing this at the request of exactly one person and for the rest of u it's under the cut if youre curious and feel so inclined hashtag close friends <3 i highlighted my previous ways of referring to these people and important notes bc otherwise i just rambled soooo bad <3 and as much as im maybe romanticizing in some ways here i do genuinely care for and love (most of) these people outside of my weirdofreak brain and try my best to do well by them in our relationships. and maybe i just wanted to write beautiful things about my friends whatever

lydia: they're on here we met on here and now we're roommates. we met bc we were two of the only bitches posting in the muna tag and she was brave enough to reply to my one naomi video. and i was like um ok... FREAK.. and then yk we were mutuals but i was always paranoid they'd somehow know film girl or my roommates (or just. other ppl) bc i was being insane so that was awk but then i had a mental breakdown a little bit one night on here about my childhood and decorating for holidays and they offered to meet on campus and give me some leaves for my window and i was like aww (and we used them this year to decorate our shared apartment :')) and i remember i was wearing my black and white sweatshirt that i wore to go see dan live that ive since given away i think but it feels like. a sign u know.. or whatever.. and we do have mutual friends in weird circles including one that connects to steve (see later notes) so it's like chances are we couldve met in person but this just made it really special. we beef bad. but with sooo much love. and i do think we're better for knowing each other or whatever...

film girl: this was bad. i have a tag dedicated to anything i remembered to tag as part of the saga but it was so bad and beyond anything words can say... i'd give her another name but she could never be anything but film girl. it's like if u were there u know. if u weren't... let's just say i was crazy insane mentally ill bonkers jeff buckley lover you shouldve come over i know it's over. maroon 5 even about it. bad. but consider she leaned into me like she did her bf for their first kiss, said our night together when we went to our friend's party where she had dressed up as jennifer check (i showed her the movie it was a whole thing) and danced with me and talked right against my neck and grabbed onto me while walking and said she was maybe bi and i deserved someone really nice and im so swaggy etc and then going back to her place and making me food and watching himym on the floor (oct. 21st u will go down in herstory...) made her the 'happiest person in the world,' stayed over at my apartment until the following morning more than once, unwrapped her bruised hand and held it out to me to see/touch (absolute freaks moment like kill me actually. and that was the day i perioded myself. to use pj of bottoms' terms.) was just generally engaging in psychosexual warfare with me all the time. and we didn't even fuck. or kiss. and she had a boyfriend. who looked like a girlfriend (not that i personally had in february of last year but regardless..) i mean come on she was a straight woman she wasnt even allowed to say slay.. i genuinely still think we need to kill each other but it doesn't matter. how is she still linked to my life? well. we had a class this semester with steve and stede and lydia and scully (prof im in love with. this name is hilar), sort of friends with cool artsy queer girl group (hometown friends, one her best friend i almost met up with at muna concert (with her) one who looks a bit like jackie kennedy. ok not really but that's the one my one friend josh (woman) made out with last semester), had a class with steve and sam last semester with dave, our shared prof that steve told details of our first date and etc to.

steve: this is gonna be ex situationship from beginning of this semester - mid october. gets this name bc they're obsessed w that pirate show so like stede but i simply wont name them that and at this point im annoyed enough w their taste in things that steve feels fitting. anyway. was genuinely very kind and sweet but also got clingy soo fast and we were on very different pages. we'd met last fall (when they had a gf) and worked together on sets and in a couple classes, they kind of got caught up in my triangulation of desire for jane at her birthday party.. and i had fun flirting! um and they were genuinely again very very considerate and sweet but like. seemed to struggle to have a personality outside of their ex and maybe their siblings a bit. idk. just very passive. sowwy. also they were not a very good kisser. i do remember back in may being vindicated bc they also commented on film girl and bf

jane: naming her jane in a gay way. a jane austen way. in that i think we should write lifelong love letters to each other. holy shit shut up. so this is always 'friend im in love with' or 'a little in love with' or whatever. she is also girl with cool short hair and piercings and tattoos and a bookbag with tits on it so god forbid my infatuation. and i just love her voice and i think she's brilliant and so good at what she does and all around just like an awesome person she inspires me to be better and whatever. and she always dresses so cool and used to host house shows (i still never made it to one) (film girl did once) and when we first started talking we were at a film event and were supposed to be networking or whatever but instead we stood by the drinks together and talked abt how we both wanted to be friends in our writing class but never said it and thought the other hated each other a little bit but we were both just awkward and so we'd always make eye contact and laugh and banter together in class and i rlly was just in love with her. and this summer was crazyyy we were on steve's set together and i was a little freak just so obviously enamored with her but the thing is she was obnoxious too so i didnt even feel like a loser. she asked me to massage her arms once and said my half assed attempt was lame and we leg wrestled (also w steve. kinda funny. like yeah u would) and exchanged drunk stories and she said i needed better ones and then i beat her at stack cup at her bday and gave her her card and she hugged me and her lips were wet from the beer she just drank from and right on my arm and i was like wow. her kingdom (surrounded by people who she loved and loved her) for a kiss upon my shoulder. if u will. and i had to have a middle school Look Away moment bc she stripped in front of a few of us that night and i was far too intoxicated to not like lose my mind. also she was supposed to give me a book on set once but never did and im still bummed. and one random night she texted asking if id found a place to live and when i answered she never followed up and i still wonder what that was abt. if anything. um but she does have a boyfriend of like 5 or 6 years. from high school. the worst part is hes a semi cool dude but it's just like really. let her fuck a woman! just once even! jk they are both genuinely cool people first and i think it's great they found each other in this life. but also like fuck off ugh. yk. not to romanticize my life and friendships i just think in another life we were soulmates or maybe in a way we are now. but we also only knew each other for a brief time so maybe something else. we could've done backstreets

sam: friend i just mentioned recently who has a crazy name we shant get into it. i do have a different actual friend named sam but i havent seen her in forever. so i met them working on steve's senior film set and thought they were cool and they were one of the only ones to make it out to our post-wrap dinner/drinks and then we had two classes together this semester. and so we became sort of allies we'd meet up to go to the museum together and send each other the attendance and i went to see fnaf when he rented out a theater for a huge group lol and he helped on my film which meant a lot even if it was only for a bit cause of you know. the everything that was going on. with steve and etc. it wasnt easy to get there so like bless their heart. they also came up with the name for my film and we had that moment around the fire and well i do hope i'll continue to see them just as a friend even, and they're genuinely just the coolest they do a lot of drag and character/costume design and are genuinely just one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i know and they always have the coolest fucking outfits and hats and shit and omg they looked so good in their doc. just something abt the posture and the whimsy and the earnestness and look overall. woah. um when we were on steve's set my friend jackie leaned over and said 'i thought they were film girl for a second' so basically i need to redacted. but it's not like that bad of a resemblance. once again has a partner cause im cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress maybe or whatever. i havent even listened to that song more than like once but maybe it is real for me. anyway they were also in the class with steve and film girl with dave.

stede: im sorry this is so funny to me bc this person and steve go by the same name irl but spelled differently or whatever. we met and had a very energetic chat in the hallway at the beginning of this semester jim thought we knew each other lol. they're real cute and endearing and like i said kind of give butch. and we had two classes together but i had so much shit going on man i just. yeah. seemed like they were maybe a little into me but whatever. and well i think we should have a fling but who said that

jim: my buddy prof he's my buddy :-) he helped me so much sophomore spring as i was trying rlly hard to produce our class films and insane already over film girl (he didnt know that but it was omnipresent) and so close to dropping out and is just the coolest guy. he's a little bit like a father figure what who said that. i remind him of his youngest daughter a lot and ive lived in the same buildings as his older one. so just funny connections. i go to his office hours and such a lot with the film friends

grace: one of my film friends. (i just realized i do know a girl in film named grace but it's not her so anyway.) i am in awe of the way she commits to stuff and motivates people around her. she is just so game for anything to make the best of a situation. shes studying abroad this semester so ive only seen her on video chats/texted and missed the one day she came back for her bf's bday. well and she was the friend who said 'no he can keep himself busy' when we went to go see x together so she didnt make me hang out w her not even lame bf at first which was so nice. cause then i eventually actually did want to meet him. and theyre the least annoying couple ive ever met. and shes bi <3

jackie: another film friend. also love her dearly another stoner so we'd smoke together before class sometimes and just went on a walk with our other friend one night around the woods and stuff that was fun. i usually refer to grace and jackie collectively as 'the film friends.' we met in that spring of sophomore year (same class as film girl and jim). this one did have steve produce her senior film after they said they wouldn't work on mine bc of the ""situation"" i was a little sour that was an awkward um situation but it's whatever. i sometimes say film friends and mean a larger group of these ppl/a few extended but whatever

frank: ive just called him frank hes frank hes the coolest dude in the world i think everyone would be obsessed with him and i just think like man hes lived such a life. he's my short cool professor whos just so good at what he does. he's met so many people and done so many things. his van is so him he has a suction cup to pull his windows up in the winter and random albums in the front seat. im gonna try to work w him next semester. i was in that van last night feeling like i was in a gta level to go pick up pizza for our final class.

scully: my film comedy and tv analysis professor she is so everything to me... she loves women and evil women and gay people and camp and horror and comedy and tv and sex and just weirdo freak shit and shes so intelligent and quick on her feet and charming and just. an amazing lecturer. she said be gay do violence once. i felt seen. she said she used to pull her friends (favorite characters) out of the tv and carry them around in her pocket and i knew she understood... she saw bottoms and emailed me and lydia right away. and she's seen willow. and ofc so many other things. and she'll go 'this seems like the type of person/film/etc that you would be inspired by..' OK QUEEN I LOVE U. i want to do cocaine with her. huh. im taking gender and film with her next semester :333 im so excited

claire: friend from high school friend group who ended up ditching me and our other friend a lot that one summer and we almost lived together and we're just always kinda weird around each other but we were some of the only ppl the other hung out with fall semester 2020 so like.

drake and josh: i almost always refer to them together they're codependent a little bit roommates and i love them dearly and i met them thru claire sophomore year but ive hung out with them alone and stayed at their place when i got too drunk and that night i fell down the stairs. me and drake act a little homoerotic sometimes for fun. i cried at dinner over film girl once to her it was embarrassing. i miss going hammocking with them <3

dave: i had him last fall he's really cool he got me on a shoot w the mayor (and steve and jane) and was so cool about me not ocming to class a lot bc i kept in touch w him and hes my homie. film girl had a class w him then too and then last semester was the like news class that crew had together. and steve told dave all abt our first date and etc and got date ideas from him and i was like oh wow... ok lol

couch: couch roommate. theyre not relevant in my life enough to make a name but the couch story was stupid as hell and this one also left ground beef in the sink that one time and had a thing for a rugby girl that steve had a little fling with

jean: if i say 'one of my masc gfs' i probably mean them. sort of friends with couch like she was in my apartment once last year but um. yeah. had a crush on them for like a month at one point and we follow each other on insta and talked when we saw each other on campus the first time and thats like it. chances r ill forget abt this fake name and still just throw that in if i ever see her

#well. that said 👍#abby talks

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tatzelwyrm · 1 year

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After beating jedi survivor twice i have one issue with it. The villains are so boring!!

Dagen is an angsty whining final fantasy looking jerk

Bode was fun UNTIL HE WENT EVIL. And then he reminded me of dagen with his crappy attitude.

Rayvis had me very intrigued and couldve been a great villain… if he didnt have a collective total of like 15 minutes of screen time before dying.

Frankly after such a great antagonist in trilla when playing fallen order, it was really a disappointment dealing with these fools

I am with you on Dagan and Rayvis, but Bode haunts me.

Dagan in particular is very forgettable, which is a shame, because a 200-year-old High Republic era Jedi with a grudge is a fun concept. But, in the end, he might as well have remained a vision encountered entirely through Cal's psychometry. Him being there in the flesh didn't add much to the game apart from 3 boss fights.

Rayvis is your standard proud warrior guy with a life debt who lives for war. He sounds like the voice actor had fun, but there's nothing much to him that interests me. But then, as you say, it's not like he's really in the game all that much.

Neither of them is as fleshed out or has as much of a presence as Trilla.

But Bode just haunts me.

I suspected he was gonna betray us the moment he showed us a picture of his little daughter, but despite his betrayal being expected, I ended up enjoying the details a lot.

I've said elsewhere that I believe that the phrase "doomed by the narrative" is overused but that I believe that it fits Bode perfectly and that's why I enjoy his story.

[Detailed spoilers follow.]

I am compelled by how trapped he is. How he trapped himself long before we ever meet him.

He is so driven by his fears that he would rather live alone with his daughter on an empty planet than share it.

He is so driven by his fears that he can't trust anyone. In his eyes, anyone could be a spy, anyone could betray him and Kata to his masters. Why is he so convinced that anyone among the Hidden Path could be a spy? Because he is one himself and betraying people is his job. It's delicious.

Cal is also driven by fear of loss. His goal in this game is to gather everybody he cares about and hide them away in a place where none of the evil in the galaxy can touch them. It's a fantasy so naive that, a week later, I still can't believe he pulled it off, even if only on a surface level (which is my one problem with the game. The ending is too open. I kept waiting for the consequences for Cal's brief touch with the dark side. I kept waiting for him to realise that keeping Tanalorr a secret and the compass out of the hands of the Empire is going to be enormously complicated, maybe even impossible, especially given that he mentions making copies the compass... I hate when AAA games do cliffhangers, given how much time it takes to make one).

But one difference between Cal and Bode is that Bode can't trust anyone. Cal's goal is explicitly to share his mythical paradise planet with as many people as possible while Bode is so paranoid he apparently wants his daughter to grow up a hermit on an empty.

Bode assumes the worst of everyone because he himself is the worst vs. Cal who assumes the best of everyone and offers second chances like candy (to Caij, to Rayvis, to Trilla in Fallen Order, to Bode himself).

Bode is another dark mirror for Cal, like Trilla, like Dagan (nothing new here, it's a narrative staple, but a good one in my option, I enjoy it, and I like the way it's done in Fallen Order with Trilla and I like the way it's done with Bode here). Bode is what Cal could become if he lets his fears of loss consume him.

There is still hope for Cal though while there was never any hope for Bode. He was on that road long before we met him.

While I'm personally not a fan of stories that explore that whole "attachments are bad if you're a Jedi" angle (and I suspect we're getting a lot more of that in a potential sqeuel), Bode is actually a good example in my eyes.

Bode offered himself to the Empire. The game (in particular the Force Echoes on Nova Geron) makes it very clear that Bode is the one who approached the ISB, not the other way around. This wasn't a situation in which he was held at gunpoint and offered the choice to work for the ISB or die. He also wasn't tortured into working for the Empire like Trilla and other Inquisitors. Bode himself put Kata in the hands of the Empire because he was a slave to his fears.

It's what makes him so tragic. He never could have acted any differently. Nothing we could have done could have convinced him to truly trust Cal. Bode is simply in too deep.

By the end it's clear he doesn't even really care about Kata as a person. How is living alone on an empty planet good for her? How is living on an ISB base good for her while Bode is away all the time? He ends up hurting her over and over in name of protecting her, even physically, in the end.

By the time we meet him, all that matters to Bode is that she is alive and he can keep clinging to her and to the handy excuse she represents. It's the way he lives.

There is a Force Echo on the Lucrehulk in which Bode hopes that Cal is safe after they're separated. But once Bode remembers that he is going to betray Cal eventually, he buries that sentiment very quickly with the mantra of "I'm doing this for Kata".

Bode needs to keep telling himself that every horrible thing he does is for Kata, because if that ever stops being true, what does that make him?

Bode can't be saved just like the Ninth Sister couldn't be saved in the beginning of the game. Honestly, when we killed the Ninth Sister in the tutorial level I was wondering why she was even in the game, given how quickly we dispatched her.

But by the end it made sense to me. She was there to mirror Bode's fate. Cal hesitates a long, long time before dealing the killing blow to her. He talks to her (at her, rather, given that this is a very one-sided conversation). He calls her by her name, her true name. She never answers. She just stomps and snarls, too consumed by her anger to form words. Cal's final words to her are "it's time to set you free". He realises nothing he could do could make her turn from her path. She's going to keep fighting until one of them is dead.

It's the same with Bode. Cal begs him to surrender. Bode never stops fighting him, consumed by his fear. When Bode shoots first, Cal realises nothing he could do could make him let go of his fear. Bode is going to keep fighting until one of them is dead. Dying is the only way in which Bode could ever be free from his fears.

Perfect bookends.

I hate Bode because he killed sweet old never-did-anything-wrong-in-his-entire-life Cordova (right in front of BD-1, too!) and because he uses Kata as a cheap excuse for everything, including leading countless people to their deaths, betraying Cere's location and leaving Kata herself trapped on an ISB base (and, eventually, potentially, on a peaceful but empty planet).

But mainly I feel so sorry for him because he's so tragic. He dug himself a hole and never stopped digging...

#jedi survivor #bode akuna #cal kestis #masana tide #ninth sister #anyway here's my 1000 feelings on bode akuna #bode is going to keep haunting me #jedi survivor spoilers #spoilers #through a glass darkly

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acaciapines · 2 months

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hiiiiiii bestie hiiiii hiiiiiii hiiii <3

no one else is asking so I will take one for the team. well maybe someone has asked but I will ask again if not. can you please tell us abt how kris and noelle meet in the drk au, and noelle’s uh. reaction to seeing dess again when she thought dess was dead? and ig by extension, kris. not sure if this is getting into spoiler territory so feel free not to answer or be as vague as you want :p

am also interested in hearing more abt ralsei and susie in this au. Please

have we talked abt this a bit? definitely. but the ppl on tumblr should hear it also and I like hearing abt it smile

hii hi hi <3

i do not know how much of this will be new for you but it will be new for everyone else so LETS GO!!!

NOELLE AND KRIS

okay so. i think i've mentioned this in other posts before, but the whole event that starts off everyone finding out dess and kris arent actually dead is that kris dives into a dark world! theyre trying to close a dark world like dess does, because they think that maybe!! that way!! dess will come back and be proud of them and love them and then she wont leave so much! because kris can close dark worlds too, see? now they can go with her!

they tell this to frisk, swear frisk to secrecy, and then! vanish lol they're Gone. the way dark worlds work here also isnt fully solid but im treating them sort of like mystery dungeons in pmd, so they dont fully follow the laws of like, physics and the like which means that even tho where kris lives is Very Far from hometown, noelle, susie, and ralsei are still able to get to the same dark world from hometown!

do not ask me what this dark world is like. i have No Idea. probably somewhat inspired by kris's life but i have not gone so far as to plot it out lol. the important part is that susie and ralsei split off from noelle (like in cyber city) and so noelle ends up running into kris, who has not only gotten lost but is in WAY over their head lol, so she saves them and kris begrudgingly agrees to stick with her. they totally couldve done this on their own. theyre sticking with noelle for her own safety. and noelle is just like yeah sure lol.

while traveling through the dark world together, noelle and kris have no idea who the other is! not only do they not really remember each other (noelle has a few vague memories, kris was even younger when dess took them so they dont remember anything at all), but they've both grown up a lot and in kris's case are fully presenting as a monster. they bond a bit over both being deer-monsters!

they cant fully communicate, tho...kris would be nonverbal throughout this entire trip and since noelle never grew up with kris she doesnt know monster sign language. she might remember a few words from her childhood but not enough to understand kris and even if she did she is a stranger so kris wouldnt sign OR speak to her anyways lol. but they do help each other out and close the dark world together! they come out in hometown and noelle promises to help kris find their parent cause they did Not mean to come here lol, and that is when! she checks her phone and shes gotten a text from toriel about a missing kid, and she's like....hey so uh i think your parent might actually be at my house lol wanna come by.

(while kris was stuck in the dark world, frisk got Very Worried and did eventually spill everything to chara, and thats how chara and frisk end up in hometown desperately trying to find kris! they come across toriel who helps them out and thats why they're at the holiday-dreemurr house).

and so things are all fun and fine until noelle and kris get back to noelle's house, and go inside, and kris is reunited with chara, and when that happens toriel sees this child and is like. holy shit. is that my dead kid.

and the fic would end there lol! (in my head this is a series, so, it would span multiple fics) another fun thing is this is the moment where noelle learns kris's name--so it wont really be a surprise for the audience cause i feel like most people could catch on that this is kris (remember up til this point we only follow noelle and the hometown crew, so we think dess and kris are dead), but if you didnt...

NOELLE AND DESS

honestly i dont know how noelle would react... i feel like she wouldnt have as big a response as everyone else! to her dess is less a person and more like, the story she's told as to why she cant do all the same things her peers do, why her mom + stepmom are so overprotective, why asriel stayed behind instead of going to college...dess loves noelle but noelle is like literally who are you. so when dess tries to like, bond with noelle, noelle doesnt want this...she grew up without a sister and that bond isnt going to form again! she doesnt know who this woman is!

its. very hard for dess needless to say. and for kris who sees how much dess is investing in noelle and theyre just like. okay well why was she never like that with me. which then leads to tensions between noelle and kris, which pushes kris to make some Very Bad Choices, and and and. plot <3

RALSEI AND SUSIE

actually the relationship ive thought about the least if im being honest. but i was talking about them to you last night and i think that like...there IS a level of antagonism that doesnt exist in deltarune canon. ralsei is trying to hard to stick to the prophecy, and when susie in this story's version of chapter one ignores it to be a villain with lancer, that hits A LOT HARDER in a world where from the very start the prophecy is being broken (since its two monsters who fall lol)

plus ralsei is also dealing with a lot of feelings shes never felt before--jealously, envy, not being able to just ignore her dysphoria anymore...shes a lot more aware of her crush on noelle and so noelle having a crush on susie isnt helping...

LIKE THEY ARE FRIENDS i think ralsei feels a LOT of guilt about all of this, and when its just her and susie things are good! they make sense!!! susie makes her wanna BE things wanna feel like maybe these things she feels are okay...but then everything always comes crashing down and its. bad again.

annnnnd thats all i think!! as always anybody can ask for follow ups. i'll spoil this entire au lol im sure things will change as i write it and besides. this is gonna take A While so when i do post it in like 2026 yall wont remember what i said here lol.

#drkau #deltarune #ask #ash my beloved ash #the 2026 number isnt a joke btw in my head this is All Of Deltarune. so. yknow. a clean 500k words or something like that #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU.

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dogboyklug · 3 months

Text

comic one - the second one - [you are here!]

yeah

transcript under cut

...and now its been like a year since i started this comic

and i completely forgot to finish it. oops

well less forgot and more like...

got into a new fandom, had to get a new laptop AND phone, started focusing my internet activism on genocide instead of transness, got burnt out like five billion times, met a bunch of new people, started dating another person, dissociated for several months, celebrated the new year, got so terrified of the fact that might get backlash for this comic i didnt make another one, TRIED to make another one but had like five breakdowns,

and then

forgot

but uh

at least i know how to draw sam now!!

sorta

yay

So, now, with such a big pause, have things changed for the better?

Am I living my best life, finally on T? Or aT LEAST have i FINALLY gotten over ALL of my internalized transphobia (men variety)?

well uh no

in fact things are kind of

worse sometimes...

*new fandom has so much fatphobia it sucks

*there is still a group of trans women online whose sole purpose in life is to hate all trans men

*theres still a genoicde going on

i wish this comic couldve followed a "past, present, future" format where, in which, the last comic would wrap the whole thing up smoothly and i would have some sort of message of peace or hope or joy to give

an assurance that my life, and the lives of all trans people, and all people from cultures ravaged by colonisation and erasure wouldnt be for nothing, and that everything would be fine in the end

but im almost 18 and i cant say that like at all

everythings getting worse and i am not a wise old man with epic awesome knowledge and a cool beard

this comic mostly just exists as a thank you letter so

thank you

thank you to everyone who read the first two and to everyone whos reading this one and to the person who mentioned all male character options in videogames (esp in the 2010s) are ugly as sin. you are so right

maybe someday ill make a comic abt my experiences as a frisian trans man with the full knowledge of my history and a happy ending to make up for it all

(caps) Probably not though (end caps)

ok you guys get 1 happy

here's my favorite transmasc ocs of mine

tuyen sango, my agent 3, best bro

feathers chilufya-janstra, my favorite 30-year-old nerd

masa, my actual hero (she turns 3 this year!!!)

and hjalmar, i've had him for 10 minutes but i love him still. heart emoji

so uh

yeah

thanks for reading

#comic #trans #transgender #webcomic #transmasc #transmasculine #klug's ocs #klug's sketches #uhoh comic #id #transcript

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unlimitedhorsepower · 2 years

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my pet theory on how gregory sunshine is yuri petrovs biological father!

entirely based on how yuri has visually nothing in common with mr. legend, while gregory sunshines side profile reminded me of yuris side profile especially notable being that they have the same very distinctive ears and lip colour, which neither of yuris parents have. iirc you can also see his ears for the first time when he puts his hair up at the very end of cour1.

we also know that yuris fire burns way hotter than nathans, and gregorys own NEXT power is about forcing other people to lose control of their powers, which also seems to unlock the maximum potential of their power when all limitation is removed.

does this make sense? objectively and realistically, probably not!.. it only makes sense in my extensive spinoff AU inside my mind where we spend a lot of time on this topic in cour 2.

gregory sunshine, based on comparing his face to origas, seems at least as old as she is, old enough to be yuris biological father (grandpas been doing lifting). yuri being distinctly connected to the moon (LUNAtic) is also incredible, in comparison to gregorys surname... the moon only glows during the night because it reflects sunlight: who is yuri a reflection of?

yuris issues about existing and being someones son (part two) but somehow achieving catharsis through it, of what he has to live up to and what it all means. catharsis in the sense that maybe he could finally fully put the topic of being someones legacy to rest and not just settle for feeling a little better but being able to start to fully live his own life. it would also be fascinating (to me) with regards to why his mother acts the way she does and gives her a little more depth, if you imagine that she cheated and stayed with mr.legend afterwards from obligation and a sense of guilt, thinking that “hes too good for her” even as mr.legend couldnt give a shit anymore

this would better explain why origa so specifically blames yuri, in the way that she supposedly couldve had it all if yuri just didnt exist. the other option ive been thinking about is that origa had yuri before mr.legend but couldnt give him a child, and initially mr.legend was normal about it but then he wasnt.

another interesting angle is for yuri to know that mr.legend only raised him as his own and that he “has to try even harder” to prove himself worthy of his legacy/seeing himself as a failure not only because of what ended up happening to mr.legend but also due to his mistaken parentage: truly, he is the worst son, and never deserved the kindness of being raised by another (in the case he knew his biological father is a villain).

the only other family we know of extensively are the kaburagis. theyre not perfect but theyre an entire family and theyre trying Together, whereas yuri has been left all alone with his mother.

anyways i connected the dots. (i didnt connect shit.) but i did create a yuri petrov spinoff based on the idea of being someones son in so many ways, having obligations to your family, nature versus nurture, and the themes underlined by his character song and whatnot.

ideally putting it all to rest, for good... realistically though, yeah this is a lot... thats why its my pet theory yuri petrov obsession spinoff

#tiger and bunny #yuri petrov #gregory sunshine #origa petrov #when you connect the dots it all starts to look like a really big dot huh #i have more thoughts but ik this is a literal tinfoil hat theory.#this has been in my drafts for like. literal months

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