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mxrcayong · 4 years

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the avatar series: 01.13

masterlist.

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chapter twelve

~ flashback to 24 hours before ~

Roddie was practically imprisoned in the mayoral home. Guards were deployed all over the mansion, basically preventing her from even thinking about sneaking out past curfew, which was put at 7pm. Before, she wasn’t even done with her transit from school at 7pm. She was banned from leaving any time before 9am or after 7pm without ‘proper supervision’, making her essentially trapped in the same home as the father she despised.

It’s not like she has despised him all her life. In fact, he was an amazing father growing up. He was the one who taught her about how bending was ingrained and imperative in their culture, who taught her about the history of bending. Consequently, when he became mayor and eight years ago and his opinion rapidly changed, Roddie could practically recognized the man she called her father. Her confusion quickly changed to anger. Yes, before he was mayor – there was a mayor before who implemented the anti-pro-bending laws, but growing up; he always enthused to Roddie how much he would like to take her to one. Once he got the position of power, it seemed like he completely changed and became worse than the person before him. And when he started acting on his position of power, Roddie didn’t hesitate in separating herself from her father.

Consequently, for the last few days since the attack on the abandoned warehouse, Roddie has barely left her room. Her hopeless plans of avoiding her father initially consisted of her napping throughout the day and then working throughout the night, essentially giving her a completely different time zone from her father. However, her father was a politician. He’s practically always working. Not only that, but the staff in the home would always wake her up for meals – her mother insisting on hosting family dinners.

Being a politicians’ daughter made all eyes on them, especially now when the current news focuses on the politics of their society. Often, Roddie would use her attention to call out the government – which did nothing to repair her relationship with her father – however, this is the first time she’s been forcibly banned and censored by her parents and the staff.

Roddie cannot complain about this attention, especially if it meant that their family meals would almost always be interrupted by calls from other government officials or the press. Fortunately, this means her time with her father was interrupted.

Tonight’s dinner felt like the ordinary; a tense silence, the awkward clinking of utensils, the small conversation between her parents, and the resounding noise of chewing that took over any silence. Underneath the table, Roddie had her phone out – using her utensils with one hand and her other hand was texting her friends.

to: (glopo nerds + roddie): I actually hate this so much

to: (glopo nerds + roddie): kill me now pls

from jeyes (glopo nerds + roddie): can you just say you need to study?? we do still have an exam in a month

from lele (glopo nerds + roddie: I see why you call him a nerd now.

to (glopo nerds + roddie): excuse you you’re included

from lele (glopo nerds + roddie): I would offer to come over but I’m in a similar situation lol

One benefit from living in the mayoral estate rather than her dorms? She’s literally a street away from Chenle. Normally, she’s an elevator ride and multiple hallways away. Chenle was quite literally her neighboring home. It was why she saw him as a brother – for the last eight years, they lived next to each other.

to (glopo nerds + roddie): group call in 30??? Imma try to eat fast and get the hell outta here

from nana (glopo nerds + roddie): sorry too social for you guys 💁♀️

from jeyes (glopo nerds + roddie) even for me??? 🥺

to glopo nerds + roddie: we literally have no other friends, shut up

from nana (glopo nerds + roddie): why you gotta expose me like that 😡 I s2g ik what parents mean when they say raising children ain’t worth it

Rolling her eyes at her friends, Roddie chewed her food faster but struggled due to the texture. She was debating asking one of the chefs to put the food aside for her to eat later, but she knew her mother would only make her finish eating now. Roddie was hungry – but her hunger couldn’t even motivate her to stay around her father longer. The anticipation to leave didn’t last long as a phone call soon brought her father away from dinner and to the other room.

Usually, he closes the doors – wanting the meetings to be private, especially if Roddie was there. She was known for calling out the government, and if she knew any of their secrets? He was certain they would be all over the news the next day.

But this time, he left the door open.

“Zhong, Amon,” His voice was faint and muffled by the door, but Roddie basically did everything she can to focus on what he was saying. “Don’t you think this is going too fast?” Robotic yelling could be heard from the phone. “Wait, what do you mean a reporter has been asking you questions?” Could he mean Tari’s so-called ‘best friend’? Roddie thought. “Why does this have to speed up-“He was interrupted…and he started walking away from the door. But, Roddie couldn’t deny the panic rising in his voice. In her eighteen years of life, Roddie has never heard her father’s voice rise in octave and spill quickly.

Her eyes widened, and this didn’t go unnoticed by her mother. “Aye, anak,” When her mother speaks in her family tribe’s native language, Roddie knows she’s about to get in trouble. “You know this is serious times. Please do not escalate things. You do not know what is going on.” Roddie remained silent, rolling her eyes. She didn’t want to be like her mother – standing idly by, being submissive to her father just because of the traditional roles she was raised to live by.

Practically stuffing her face – Roddie stopped caring about the possibility of choking. “IM DAHN.” Roddie screamed, her mouth still full of food. Ignoring her mother’s critique on her manners, she sprinted up to her room on the second floor.

As soon as she got into her room, she let her back land on the back of her door. Sliding down to a squatting position, she started texting one of her best friends.

To lele: hey hey emergency, can we meet?? Your dad isn’t there right???

From lele: he just left, why? Whatsup?

To lele: was it after a call?

From lele: ye how’d you know?

To lele: I overheard the calls…do you wanna be the Watson to my holmes?

To lele: the bess to my Nancy?

To lele: the hastings to my Poirot?

From lele: I’m in ONLY if you stop comparing us to famous detectives

From lele: the teachers in class heard you once and I think they genuinely thought my name was watson for a month

From lele: also im not always the sidekick smh 🤬 I s2g can I be appreciated more pls

From lele: whats up?

“Are you sure it’s safe to invite them?” Chenle asked Roddie as the two waited in the foyer for their bending friends. “They’re benders… they’re more at risk than us.”

Roddie rolled her eyes, “It’s nothing. Honestly, Jeno barely bends unless in a designated area. We know him, he’s a damp towel when it comes to bending.” Chenle laughed at the joke shared between them that Jeno is nowhere at all funny. The laugh, hopefully, covered up his fears he had for the safety of his friends. “Plus, Jaemin is my partner-in-crime, the Robin to my Batman, the-“ Roddie was about to continue listing characters, but the look on Chenle face practically threatening to leave right now stopped her. “I can’t do activist shit without him.”

“How are you expecting us to leave your house by the way?” The younger boy furrowed his brows, “I was allowed because I’m legit a minute away. My guards saw me enter your house. But how do we get out of here?” The older girl and mastermind behind the plan pulled out her best puppy dog eyes, making Chenle’s eyes practically roll to the back of his head. “What is it?” He practically growled.

Roddie started swaying, trying to act cuter. “Do you remember the old mannequins I had when I was into fashion for like a month?” Chenle nodded. “Can you help me look in the basement for them? We can say we’re sleeping over.”

“Where will our legs be?” Chenle almost yelled but hushed it to a whisper as guards started walking past them. “Your mannequins are legless.”

“Pillows?” Roddie said, more as a question.

“You didn’t think this out properly, did you?” Roddie ignored his question. “Do you even know where they have gone?”

Her eyes went wide momentarily, before she pulled put her phone. “I may or may not have taken photos of some documents I’ve seen laying around, maybe the address of the factory is in one of them.”

“Factory?” Chenle clarified. “Do you mean the factory on Bumi Boulevard?” Roddie’s eyes widened. How did he know classified information? “Listen, because you have a bad relationship with your father doesn’t mean I have one with mine!”

After thirty minutes of rummaging through the basement for the old mannequins and some wigs that could even remotely match their hair color and some of her father’s old college shirts to put on the mannequins. Scattering the four mannequins around the room in a somewhat cohesive manner, they had two mannequins lying down on a beanbag and two on the bed – both lying down facing the opposite direction. Roddie couldn’t help but be more thankful that Jaemin had dyed his hair bright blue or else they may not have been able to find a wig.

Screaming out her room saying they’re ‘going to be studying and then ‘having a sleepover’, Roddie blasted music in the room and the three took off. Roddie knew all the secret exits, and although the house is more guarded than usual, the four are all wearing black and due to the darkness of the night, can easily be concealed. Additionally, the guarded element of her life comes from her designated guard checking in on her every hour.

Another thing Roddie couldn’t be happier for? Jeno having a driver’s license. Bumi Boulevard, although is connected to the train station, Chenle mentioned how its in more of the outskirts of the city. “You do realize I’m not some valet.” Jeno teased, climbing into the driver’s seat with Jaemin in the shotgun.

The car lifted off the ground. “Every time you invite me to go out at night, it’s either a sleepover or when you need a ride.”

“Don’t take it personally, Jeno.” Jaemin commented from beside him. “It’s just because you don’t like parties and the only time Roddie goes out at night, other than with us, is to party.”

“That’s a noble reason!” Roddie tried to convince him, “I’m respecting your preferences.”

“Whatever.” Jeno was teasing of course. As much as they say he isn’t funny, he’s quite funny and Roddie cannot deny it. “Okay, so let’s go over a game plan. We can’t just waltz in.”

“We can’t?” Roddie asked, genuinely confused. She’s pretty much used to getting access to most government buildings, unless her father has told the police to ban her from entering. That usually happened once she breaks in. She didn’t even know about the factory yet, so it’s practically impossible that she’s been banned.

“Jaemin, I can’t give her the look or else my eyes will be off the road.” Jeno groaned. “Can you glare at her with disappointment for a minute? Maybe for even twenty? Never have I heard a more stupid statement in my life.” Jeno teased. Roddie slapped the head rest of Jeno’s seat in offense. None of them expected Jaemin to actually give Roddie a disappointed look for five minutes as Chenle started brainstorming ideas.

Jaemin interrupted Chenle’s idea of ‘dressing up like barbeque delivery guys’ with even more disappointment than Jeno implied him giving. “You guys are literally their children. Does anyone-“ Jaemin let out a soft ‘ah’ when he saw Jeno with a backpack, “Just say that you have something in your bag you have to give to your dad.”

“Okay, well it’s probably best to me.” Chenle noted. “Everyone knows how much Roddie hates her dad.”

“What if they go through the bags?” Roddie asked, remembering the security checks in the government building. “Jeno, did you pack anything that can somewhat resemble a gift?”

“I think?” Jeno questioned himself, voice full of uncertainty. “I mean, at this point, because of school and stuff, I just carry the bag out of habit. I haven’t actually touched it or opened it and saw everything inside for like…a month?”

Roddie cringed in disgust. “Okay, well, as long as there are no condoms in there or snotty tissues, I can imagine it being okay.”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t okay. “Sorry to ask, but what exactly of these are you giving to your dad?” The security guard asked. Somehow, they managed to convince them that Chenle needed to bring his friends inside to reduce his anxiety about being in a government facility. Honestly, Chenle was glad this person was someone he hasn’t seen before – or else they would know Chenle basically lives in the city hall when he wasn’t with friends.

He was faced with the contents of Jeno’s bag; some lint, a beaten up water bottle, protein powder, a ‘5 free coffees’ card that expired a month ago with only three coffees being used (Jaemin scowled so hard at Jeno for not letting Jaemin use it at the sight of it), and a laptop in a casing that definitely didn’t belong to a government official.

“Oh, he left his…personal laptop at home.” Chenle lied, scratching the back of his head. “He messaged me saying he needed it…I couldn’t find his laptop case though, so I put it in…mine.” The laptop case in question? A plain white one, which had some unfortunate drawings of penises on it with sharpie (Chenle can take credit for the first penis on there- having drawn it when Jeno fell asleep during a lecture).

The security guard nodded, obviously somewhat skeptical. They sighed. “Okay, well, he’s in the meeting room with Amon so just leave it in his office. I think they’re having a private talk.” They noted, “All the guards were told to leave that floor.”

Chenle quickly nodded. The four of them nod politely and thanked them, before running to the closest map they could see inside the factory. The factory seemed to be completely made out of metal and with more levels underground than over it. Thousands of rooms surrounded the edges, but something about the factory felt like an auditorium. The floors above the very bottom floor seemed to act like balconies looking down at the center. She could see what happens on the bottom floor, which she would say is approximately 17 floors below her on ground level, from her position next to the map on the pillar. “Okay, so my dad and your dad are in the office with…Amen?”

“Amon.” Jaemin and Roddie said in-sync, remembering his name from all the news reports he’s been on.

“Right, Amon…” Chenle trailed off, before trying to understand the language on the map. It wasn’t something he’s seen before. In fact, they weren’t even words. They were numbers in some sort of sequence that doesn’t quite make sense to him, despite practically being an expert in math. “Uh…I don’t get it.”

Roddie decided to look around. Chenle and Jeno were the best at numbers. Her and Jaemin? Not so much. He once said 20 – 10 = 0 during a quickfire round of trivia. So her best bet is to observe while Jeno and Chenle analyse the plaque of the map on the pillar.

“Do you think we can find a lab coat or one of the uniforms?” Roddie asked, breaking away the trance of her friends on the plaque. “So we can get into more rooms easily.”

Jaemin snapped, grinning widely as he looked at his partner-in-crime. “Okay, I bet we can find a broom closet somewhere.” And that’s what Jaemin did. With no regards to walking into a private meeting or caught, he started trying to open any door he could see that seemed unlocked.

Behind the first door was a female bathroom, the second door was a weird test-tubey room, the third was something Roddie couldn’t even describe. It felt like some perverse and illegal version of the ‘Price is Right’ with the prices becoming more and more obscure.

Until finally, they got to a room resembling a locker room. And luckily for them, saw a cabinet labelled ‘extra uniforms’. “Thank fucking Roku.”

It felt like they were in the metal labyrinth for hours. Their hearts were consistently racing, worried about getting caught. Roddie and Chenle eventually had to disguise themselves – many guards offering to escort them to the office, to which they would always say ‘I’m heading to the bathroom’. They couldn’t feel luckier there were only so many workers here that they haven’t come across the same one twice, or else they would look like they’re having quite serious bladder problems.

They had no sense of time. The only thing that reminded them of the time was the clocks on the walls, notifying them it was now one in the morning. They got here around 10. That means they spent three hours trying to locate their parent’s secret office.

But normally, they’d be done with their meetings by now, right? Roddie thought back to all the times her father’s meeting went over time…it’s usually when something didn’t go to plan or it’s something with more risks than they thought. Shit, Roddie started biting her lip so hard – it bled at first contact with the tip of her tooth. We’re really in trouble. But she started praying they just went home by now. I hope.

It felt like a miracle the moment they got into a room that resembled an office. It required some failed attempts at lockpicking from Roddie and Jaemin, before expertful lock-picking from Jeno, who refuses to tell anyone how he learnt it. “Maybe Jeno is cooler than you guys.” Chenle teased, sneaking in behind them into the office. But the cocky words that left his mouth were the last of the same tone.

He was full of awe. This was Roddie’s dad’s office. Around the room had photos of Roddie as a child and family photos. While he was frozen in place, everyone else went searching around the room. It wasn’t long before they opened every drawer, every file (Chenle used his hacking skills to good use to open every computer file), every potential secret entrance handle – everything was turned upside down and sideways.

Everything they saw broke their hearts. Chenle’s and Roddie’s due to the destruction of their nation and Chenle’s disillusionment of his father, but Jeno’s and Jaemin’s because they could no longer feel safe.

But one folder revealed a lot. The folder title was ‘BENDING RALLY 001 – THE INITIAL STAGE’. Dozens and dozens of files and blueprints describing an event happening in a few days fell out as soon as they opened it.

“What is this?” Chenle said, almost as if he wasn’t there himself. He wasn’t like Roddie where he believed the worst in his family, particularly his father – but the documents proved otherwise.

Plans and blueprints of technology that would remove one’s ability to bend. Plans to temporarily disable their bending in order to ‘make a safer world’. But the blueprints show a sprinkler with an ‘anti-bending’ chemical in it, bracelets that look like Apple Watches with a band comparable to a single side of a handcuff. Both were made to suspend people’s bending – although there was minimal information on the blueprints if this will be permanently or temporarily suspended. A plan was made to have a registration event, mandatory for benders to come at a certain time and pick up the tool that’ll be oppressing them. There was another note saying they have to have a backroom for Amon ‘to do his magic’. What magic?

There were thousands of lists on the desks. From names of every citizen to the city to the lists of confirmed benders forced to register their bending ability due to their profession, the duo noticed that all lists focus on potential or confirmed benders living in Sooman. But one list caught Roddie’s attention.

On the top, the list showed how the official filtered and created this list. The categories were the birth year and which tribe their family has come from, according to their social identity information.

The list contained ten people and a message on top ‘to investigate these ten immediately’ and ‘nullify their risk’. Roddie couldn’t even imagine how they will be ‘nullified’.

There was one name that shouted at her, as if the black text suddenly became bold and red and underlined a million times. There was no way, Roddie thought – trying to recall her every interaction with them. It can’t be …but they don’t know that, they might kill them. She took out her phone and texted someone who could get to the bottom of this. Only once her information is confirmed will she tell them. She didn’t want to panic them.

But even as she left, the visual of ‘Tari Kotala’ dead center in the list of identities haunted her like a devil on her shoulder.

request anything for future parts / penny for your thoughts here

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hungwy · 5 years

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@ the 2 long fr ask v sorry anon u better read this cuz i typed a lot for u...

full ask:

full disclosure im not really sure where im going with this but i read your wall of text and i’m really curious about your worldbuilding frm a (supposedly, rip) writer perspective !!

you said that you were interested in gods that were more abstract and less anthropomorphic, so perhaps you could expand on that? it sounds like a fascinating concept because often people relate gods to humans somehow (either as all-powerful deities that somehow are capable of human-like reasoning and motivations, deities that can be Understood to a degree by regular human beings, or as concepts that people are already familiar with aka Personified Concept Of Justice or w.e), so it could be interesting to see an exploration of how human beings would relate to supernatural forces they’re not equipped to understand, whose motives and abilities are entirely outside of the scope of current human ideas about the world—humans seem to have a natural tendency to generalize and categorize things down into something they can grasp and work with, so culture evolving around trying to figure out a way to model the world in light of that could naturally breed the divergence between human ideas & Truth About Deities you mentioned.

if you think about it, a lot of things even in our “plain” universe that seemingly obeys scientific laws we’re systematically working on discovering can be pretty awe-inspiring in nature, right?? so many things are so far beyond general understanding that to the uninitiated, they can be pretty close to magic, even if there are ways to dig deeper into them and understand them more (or whatever we consider to be “understanding”). so it’s possible that in your universe the fundamenal forces governing things could be just. different? on a really core level, which naturally sends humans scrambling to make some kind of sense of things. i mean, we already kind of do, with religious explanations stepping in, so perhaps that would be more dramatic in a world where the unknowable is even more fucked and unperceivable to your human societies.

naturally, that might give more power to religion than science, if people have practical experiences that their “science” cannot explain well (maybe because it’s beyond human logic in the first place) & that religion seems to provide some kind of answer for. it might also keep the mysticism; religious belief might require some degree of dedication, which might be a risk in itself if you’re an average person playing with forces no one can properly explain yet. organized science might be struggling to catch up and maintain credibility; but at the core, it could also be that there’s nothing particularly unscientific about the source of what is perceived as magic/“gods”—just that the barrier to perceiving them in a logical and systematical manner with no spiritual aspect to it could be a lot higher, which then tempts people to go with the most accessible explanations. (again, made more tempting if your magic is powerful enough to represent some kind of real danger—framed as “displeasing the gods” or w.e, maybe—or to provide some highly desired abilities, even if their source is misunderstood by human beings thru misframing the entire concept.)

long messy rant aside, very very curious to know more about your ideas !!! do you intend magic to be some kind of old-as-time concept that human beings are slowly developing a relationship with/a deeper understanding of over the ages, where they develop their (possibly flawed) understanding of gods as well?? or is their understanding catalyzed by some specific event, presumably an interaction by said gods with society? do these “gods” have any perception of human society? pls share more if you are inclined to !! :>

(sorry if the rant was overstepping ahh i really got carried away didn’t i)

id like to preface this with i havent slept. PLEASE ask me clarifying questions

i think from a cultural perspective it would make sense for humans to anthropomorphize higher powers in order to relate to it better. even further i think (though i haven't really fleshed out the actual capabilities and motives of gods) gods would have the ability to appear to us as human or human-like. in this essay i typed completely without planning i will construct how.

i first have to consider the form or forms of divinity and how that relates to my -- ideally -- material universe. should i incorporate gods and magic as material phenomena that are observably composed of matter and energy -- or reactions of some sort of transcendent immaterial reality beyond normal human sense and reason? im sort of leaning towards that more spiritual reality. choosing that means id have to explain how incomprehensible, unknowable forces work and interact with comprehensible, study-able forces, which frankly is a lot more complex than just tossing in someone like Zeus.

so the question basically being asked is how does this divine force come to create our world? id basically have to create a whole metaphysical system. maybe i could give credence to panpsychism and say everything has sentience and subjective experience, and some vague actuation by this transcendental force began our universe. this Transcendence that shifts with eternal (but cyclical) change produces some sort of transcendental force which "peaks" as consciousness/sentience/experience (that panpsychism). (the "troughs" of this force are what we'd call other dimensions or planes, and this is where i plan for gods to reside) anyway, this consciousness is our fundamental “thing”, our atom, our quark, our light, whatever; consciousness itself IS the physical world. the shifting of this force means that our universe, too, is in constant (but cyclical) change, and has a regularity that comes with extending from one entity that allows the universe to be systematic and wholly not chaotic. im tempted here to say the Transcendence naturally promotes a balance of consciousness (= material reality) by interfering with those peaks of material reality. now im not claiming to understand the mechanisms of transcendent immaterial reality but certainly i should be able to claim that this universe is a closed system in which exchanges of transcendent force are allowed but exchanges of matter and energy (as we understand them) aren't.

we still have the problem of how we create an entity like a god, and magical forces. Remember that the transcendental force has both peaks and troughs of consciousness and therefore material reality. Through this dualism of peak and trough (though not really a dualism… ive equated this force to a wave which means that there is GRADUAL change) I can now create two opposing realities: our universe and the antiuniverse. im basically just going to say that the realization of consciousness in the antiuniverse comes in the form of magic (=energy) and gods (=matter). just as with our universe, once you get down far enough the difference between magic/energy and gods/matter isn’t really apparent. it’s all really just a spectrum. Anyway. heres the big big big part: the troughs and peaks connect due to the nature of a wave being gradual. Our world affects theirs, theirs ours, etc. albeit not a whole lot for reasons I don’t care to think about. Matter and energy can travel into the antiuniverse and interact with magic and gods and vice-versa.

SO just gonna throw in here that like humans and rocks some gods will have more animacy than others (more magic) and will be able to purposefully and willfully travel into our universe. when they manifest they must cause some kind of eldritch psychological terror because they are a completely different realization of matter which frankly is probably impossible to comprehend. but more animate gods (more animate than humans) would be able to “correct” their forms into recognizable entities with magic, as id believe if humanity were to transcend their animacy they could rearrange their forms with energy. I think from here we can relatively easily extrapolate what gods are, provide them conscious motivations, create a hierarchy of gods and lesser supernatural entities, explain divine interference, etc etc etc. if you have any questions i can make up more answers!

NOW I can get to your points! youre indeed right that this could be “an exploration of how human beings would relate to supernatural forces they’re not equipped to understand, whose motives and abilities are entirely outside of the scope of current human ideas about the world”. in fact thats exactly underlies what religion will be about. humans wont be aware of another world at all except for a few souls who learned this secret knowledge. humans wont understand theres a massive rift between the strange occurrences that belong to our world and the even stranger occurrences invading it from the antiuniverse. everything is just sort of conflated to gods, ghosts, spirits, monsters. their experience with the physics of magic means that only gods in control of magic can really bestow any magical control to humanity (though id argue everything with consciousness has innate magical potential to some extent). but here gods could actually be what is the equivalent to displeasement, the unsatisfaction of their intents, the disruption of their motives, etc, and have destructive reactions towards it, just as they can be pleased, satisfied, and complete (though these would just be approximations using human emotion).

#sorry if confusing. once again. ask me questions about it

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evotter · 5 years

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jan, march, sept + one of your choice, love. have a great day, u icon

thank u kyra i adore u

january: what was the first fic you posted this year?

the first fic i posted this year TECHNICALLY was the epilogue of a different path. the first standalone was chewbacca (aka my introduction to the jily world once again and i have such a soft spot for it)

march: do you listen to music whilst writing?

yes! pretty much always; if it’s not music, it’s a TV show.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

quite literally anything you’ve left on any of my fics BUT there are a few that i hold dear to my heart. i’ll post them under the cut cause they are LONG :’)

ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?

hahahaaaaaaa. it was my own version of rick riordan’s the son of neptune before the actual book was published. it was on ff.net, and the first chapter got 7 reviews, and i felt so good about myself after that lmfao. who knew i’d still be writing 8 years later?

ask me questions!

OKAY so i have 3 top favorites:

from a different path:

okay so i had seen this in someone else’s bookmarks the other day, thought it was an interesting concept—especially since i too love slytherin!percy and strongly subscribe to ofswordsandpens’ headcanons about it—but didn’t give it another thought until i was listening to a video about the cursed child and went: wait, there’s a percabeth hogwarts au that i saw somewhere. and immediately i hunted this down and i’m just in awe? i tore through it. belatedly, i realized that i made a mistake: i didn’t write down my thoughts as i was reading, which is definitely a disservice to you. however, here are a generalized list of things that i loved.

first of all, with hogwarts au’s, there are three main aspects that i look for: plot, characterization, and quality of writing. normally, fics of this size lack one or more of these key factors, but i was astonished to find that the plot is tremendously tight and intriguing (my lip bled from biting it so much because i’ve been stressed to the max), you write these characters with such distinct voices i can easily picture them saying everything—except, of course, now in a little british accent—and your writing flows so well, it feels almost like i’m reading an actual harry potter book, just with percy and co. you also do a masterful job of weaving together aspects of the pjo universe with the established canon of hp.

and there are so many specific things that i love. primarily, the way you write the relationships in this story; not just concerning percabeth (though i will get to that in a minute), but also with each of the interactions between all of the characters. i applaud you for how you handled luke/annabeth and rachel/percy, and the friendship among them all is just incredibly well done. i especially love how well you wrote connor and zoë and just, a lot of characters that i don’t often think about when i think of pjo. grover and percy’s friendship especially is heartbreaking, i just. he’s so protective because he loves his friends and holy fuck i also love how you wrote grover in this. but i just adored how you wrote annabeth/percy—the love between them, both platonic in its early stages and the romantic all throughout, was doubly apparent. i ached when they kissed each other’s cheeks, and i inwardly cheered when she kissed him in the locker room. there was just such a natural progression, to me, of their relationship. and man did i dig it. i’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to see where you take their relationship in the future.

boy, this is getting long. sorry. but some more just little quick things: loved the b99 reference, with both of their competitive natures playing out in a similar way to jake and amy’s. i kind of want to go back and see if i can find any other references that i missed because i was just too engaged in the story to catch them. also, zoë’s death killed me all over again, thanks for that. i like how you’re working the kronos plot in, and i can’t wait to see how the Final Battle plays out. what else? oh! professor hestia? beautiful. eventual maybe professor percy? outstanding. percy kissing the top of annabeth’s head? breathtaking. rachel being a quidditch commentator? earth shattering. (truly i cackled when i saw that.) mrs. o’leary being a cat? incredible. how you incorporated percy’s water powers? stunning.

ooh, this exchange was beautiful and had me cackling it was so in-character:

“None of us are dying.” Connor clarifies. “Not you, not me, not Annie, not the rest of us.”

“I might have to dispute that.” Annabeth says, from Percy’s other side. “Call me ‘Annie’ one more time, Stoll, and I’ll kill you myself.”

Connor only grins at her. “Sorry, love. No more ‘Annie’. Can I call you Beth?”

“No.”

“Anna?”

“No.”

okay, so i just finished chapter nine and i am blown away. sorry for how long this comment was, but a fic of this magnitude truly warrants it. i can’t wait to see what happens next.

i leave you with just two words: “holy shit.”

from a different path:

god, oh my god, am i the only dumb bitch who didn’t get what the prophecy was??

anyway, i stumbled on this fic last year, patiently waiting for its completion, and now that i’ve rediscovered it, i’m so glad i finished it all in one go! i couldn’t imagine the tension of waiting for the next chapter, especially since the tension is so well-crafted!! i hardly noticed the tonal shift even as the story got darker and darker as it led up to the war, and in that way i was reminded of how extremely similar it felt to reading the hp books for the first time! you nailed percy very well i might say, and the awkward-yet-caring relationship he has with his dad. i daresay you gave connor and zoe more characterization than rick riordan himself, and the percabeth you wrote is perfect to the nth degree. i appreciate that you didnt bother with all the love triangle and unrequited feelings nonsense as well.

but i have to say, even as i cried at sally and paul’s wedding, or at dionysus’ quiet mourning for castor, what really struck with me most was the way you handled silena. for that, i have no words. that was a job extremely well done. thank you so much for blessing us with this fic.

from chewbacca (a comment from u!):

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen. Her coat is dripping all over the floor he’d just cleaned (but it’s fine) and when he leans over the counter he sees that her boots match the coat.

First of all!!! Thats the best opening line in the world and nobody can convince me otherwise. I want to become a publisher just so that if you ever write a book, I’d be able to publish it. ( like omg, what an honor??? )

She looks like sunshine, standing there with the amount of yellow in her wardrobe. Briefly, James wonders if that’s her favorite color. It’s got to be.

Im going to quote this whole fic but I really love these lines? Like, you have this distinct style of writiting that I aim to acheive and you’re literally such a rolemodel!!! These are my favorite kind of fics to read. Funny story but I was going through a ‘no thanks Jily’ mood ( a horror, i know !! ) but your fics are just,,,,exceptions? You could write about trash and I’d love it and ask for you to sign me up.

“Say it again, but convincingly this time.”

ooof this dialogue??? let me breathe

This is the longest he’s stood still since he started working. It’s actually a miracle.

and the funniest person award goes to YOU. also, the most talented and cutest but thats neither here nor there.

james taking care of fleamont, switching off the lights gives me just a nice and realistic vibe? its so simple but i love how you added it.

honestly at this point, ive been sucked again by the fanfic. it feels less like a fic and more like a masterpiece that belongs in a museum but anyway.

“James is supposed to be helping.

James is on his phone.”

ugh i love ur mind. im rereading and its so nice and lovely. even if its like 1am and im exhausted, this fic is sustaining me.

“Do it off the clock, would you?”

PEAK HUMOR

have i mentioned how much i love that scene with euphemia? she seems like such a lovely mom. i love ur euphemia the most. and ahh, both of them just rushing to the hospital ? another 100% good scene.

“Euphemia smiles too, but looks at Fleamont rather than at her son. “Yes,” she says. “It really does.””

fic? or shakspeare? HMMM

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen // “Get fucked.”

the fic!! has made a circle!!! i love how it begins and ends along the same lines. I really want to know how??? are you so talented im in love.

i just really love this fic, okay? i love how james is just the kindest, lily is allowed to have feelings, its just so soft and warm. and it makes someone feel loved, want love anyway.

the dynamic between the characters are just so real and great and im astounded, in short.

your sirius is everything. so many fics potray him as a dick??? which is first of all #rude and also, not at all true. you made me love these characters even more so i sincerely hope you never stop writing.

you’re such a beautiful writer and the way you string words together is just poetic and gorgeous and all the other good adjectives you can think of. i read your spiderman x reader too and i was a goner for you. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO GOOD. i read it so long ago but i can vividly remember peter whipping the mask off and she just going wtf stop on the window ledge. what im trying to say is that you leave this lasting impression on people that make them remember random scenes and words / prose long after they’ve read it which is a remarkable feat, i believe.

and im so sorry im not on tumblr rn bc i cannot keep recing this fic but i have told my friends about your writing and they loved it too. you’ve got like a million fans. when i do get back from my hiatus, im going to keep recing your fics and people will cry because their universe will shift thanks to the newfound joy of your presence in their life.

lastly, im more of a dog person and that, more than anything, should tell you how much i love this fic. i love u. and basee on your writing, i want to hug you, be your best friend and make you cookies bc again

WOW

#thelaziestgeek #answers #friends!#<3

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seominjiuniverse-blog · 5 years

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dropped bomb and ... END This will not be about sweet lies but the bitter truths I am with for a month and a half. 동안 : 알 파랑코 어캄포

Why is it whenever I hear anything about you – even a little, I always get the insane feeling of sadness as if nothing else matter now because I don’t have you anymore? Why does my heart couldn’t break away loving you so much when everything else does? Why do I feel like time has no plan of giving me my due to get over you? The love ‘we’ had was never meant to be and never mine to begin with. At first I’m the one who’s hesitating for the uncertainty of hurting you when you already feel for me and did let you know how vulnerable I can foresee myself will be. Then after pretending to be having a Friends With Benefits relationship with you, everything seems like a huge puzzle and every time I dance tango all you did is do the chacha.. We never were in harmony when it comes to our SEASON OF EMOTION towards each other. We always think the same but act differently. I just can’t understand what really happened between us … How and why we came to this - - not seeing each other for almost 50 days when we once constantly seeing each other before every day or every other day. Like I felt that even if we’re not with each other, you’re still with me in everything I do and everywhere I go. Was there ever an ‘us’ to begin with? We were just friends. Even until now it made me smile to think how fast and how far things had gone. I can still remember it all. We started on the end of the month of January where we had dinner with some of the girls of Tin at Pizza Hut where you gave me that leaning tower of Pisa tumbler. (Yeah leaning tower of pizza as I call it) I know you really want it too :) Then we had few shots and drove home. (my first again after being celibate for a half year). Then we started seeing each other as often as we could amidst the conflict in our schedule..(you are the night guy and im the day girl). I finally had the chance to visit your place in Quezon City and you showered me with bunch of good memories I can’t seem to let go. (goku, joillibee , mcdo, pizza hut, red ribbon, sisig house, philcoa, mega mall, racks , medical city , sitel , choco mucho, chocolate sundae, chicken fillet, cavite, Fort bonifacio taguig aircon bus, aircon bus to SM fairview, MOA , sunset, puerto galera, mini cake, Julia Vargas , Dolce, Vans, KFC , a , f , c , o ,fitness first , i dont wanna miss a thing song , trinoma, pao tsin, 09168440400 , mr.bean , novaliches , bosay, aguinaldo , hypermarket , at marami pang iba) those are just few. There’s a lot more that you seem to be the only part of my world and everything and everywhere I go leads me back to you. What we had was never formalized. Nothing clarified nor explicitly admitted. We were playing mind games all the way. I even never knew if you do love me back (not after my friend told me that you did confess to her). I’m too late. You seemed to have change you’re mind already. I wanted to talk, clear things up either to make it as vivid as modern technology or to empty everything that’s inside. But you didn’t want to. Everything fell on deaf ears of yours and every word you want to say to explain for trying to make me feel better got instantaneously muted. I thought it was better to keep my silence – to give you the space I thought you needed. But even in the times that I didn’t say anything … I know and I’m sure that I love you. I loved and still love you even after now. I’m tired of this bout without any enemy, just a love that already lived its moment. I’m exhausted of living with just memories of you and me – the ones that are special only to me. I’m sorry things have to come to this. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you after all. But even if everything got so painful, I’m still glad to have known you, to have had you in my life even for a short while. A friend said that while some good things never last, others don’t even start. - - I guess this fits us exactly. We could have been good together – for each other but since we never really gave ourselves a chance (I mean you never gave yourself) , things already ended before they even began. I must admit, you probably won’t too far away from my thoughts – and that thinking of you will still bring that tinge of sadness and regret. But it’s okay. I’m supposed to be and I needed to. I’ll just try to concentrate on healing the unseen wounds of mine and making myself complete on my own (for the moment you came into my life, you completed it and brought me to senses I never knew I had). Hopefully when someone better comes (I wish to had forget you that time) , I’ll be able to give myself to him as I would have wanted to give to you. But after this episode I couldn’t see. You could never tell the next thing life could be. Why am I on your front door? Of course I do hope that you will open the door and have a peek on me – that somehow you missed me and wanted to see me. But that’s not all, I know you knew our history well – its something between the two of us, just the two of us created and can solve. I’m tired of just calling you out so I finally decided to come to you. I know what I wanted and that is you. I never will force you but today (supposedly) I’m trying my luck. I won’t be forever young so the only choice left for me is to hope for the best and still keep expecting the worse to happen today (supposedly). The only plan is to see you and apologize for the wrong decisions I’ve made and to hear from you on what to do. Life without you after being with you is like living a dead’s life. Nothing is comprehensible or rational. It’s like picture of yours and memories of us is fixated in front of my eyes and plays over and over again. Even when I look with the appearance of myself in the mirror, all I can see is you (once, my face is the one that you’re looking at and making fun things with). When I look at my hands, it’s like a piece of something is missing (coz there’s your hand idled when were together before). Every letter that your name has always leads me back to you. It’s like I couldn’t be happy anymore without the corny jokes that you have told me. I know I love you as much as I inhale and exhale every day. That with every blink of my eyes you are being on my thoughts. Since you are gone all I have is a heavy sigh. I can’t make my life normal again. Everything is so confusing. I hate myself for complaining those things to you but then lately I realized, those are the things that I would like to live and aged with forever. That your imperfections are unconsciously making my every single second reach perfection. For the last time to save myself from burning to death while still on the earth, I love you and all I want is to be with you ‘till our hair turn white and till my heart could still beat and while I breathe. I hope that we face our troubles together) two is better than one as they say). It’s up to you if you’ll gonna make my dreams come true. For sure even after this, I won’t be over you but I’ll not include you in mine anymore. I am a dreamer and if you wake me up, its my dream you take. You cannot break my spirit that’s in heat and longing for you. I know it’s too early to push this but I can feel everyday without you is like living to die eternally. Today, I’m decided to stand for my love for you. This letter is for emergency purposes, that in case you wouldn’t like to talk to me, at least I say everything for this leap of faith of mine. A big thank you for ALL. For making me feel better, at my best and at my worse. I owe everything to what you did. the good and the bad one. I hope to be still part of yours though. Still, pages of this aren’t enough to say it all. I might talk too much because I can’t scream to the world that it’s you whom I loved and how happy am I to carry the burdens that you gave.

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dearestsouleater · 6 years

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Entry #323 June 26, 2018 11:02 am

Dearest SoulEater,

“I have a problem..”

Im starting my entry with that sentence. I do have a problem. But it is not just a simple normal problem. It is not something that can be solved by being positive. I am having an internal problem. A problem with myself.

I started noticing this during an event with Li-Anne. I was having a good time playing Warframe and though I did not mean to, I publicly shamed her gaming skills in a chat at Twitch and she saw it. I did apologize but she was so mad that I had to disconnect as I am getting annoyed with what is happening. I continued with my activities that day thinking what was happening to me. The next day, my monthly right eye pain started and I had to lie down at bed the whole day making myself unproductive. It gave me some time to think of what was becoming of me. And I am starting to get confused. The next day came and my eye pain still persisted. I had to endure it the whole day at work and at home, and for some unknown reason, I did not want to talk to anyone. I only responded when Im called or when someone needed something from me, but I never talked to anyone, I never opened up a topic about anything. Came tuesday, I was fee ling better but still not quite well. I contacted Li-Anne after not talking to her for 3 days to clarify some things with her vlog. Then I streamed in the evening, only to be interrupted by a call.

Li-Anne called sobbinG. She was really crying hard to the point that it got me worried about her health. Too much sobbing will make her hyperventilate and eventually may cause her to have excess oxygen, and put her into a nervous breakdown. I never heard her cry like that before. And all I can say to her was to stop. I tried calming her down because I had a feeling that her crying was related to me. So I explained what was happening, and I mentioned something was wrong with me which I cannot explain so far. But I told her we didnt have any problems. She calmed down and started listening to me and I told her how I honestly feel about the past months.

It made me think once again. What was happening. My internal equilibrium was turning into chaos. I needed to sort myself out, clear my head, fix my life. So it made me decide to take a break from things, such as streaming for a month. Give myself the time to reflect and gaze upon who I really am. I never heard Li-Anne cry like that in the 5 years that Ive known her, and I dont think I can ever let that happen again, I cant take it if it happens again, with her or the ones I love and cherish. Im not “disconnecting” but Im just going to have a breather, to give myself the space that I would need to improve myself. I see this as a defining moment in my life. So I talked to Li-Anne about it and I am happy she was supporting me all the way. In the end, she is vital to what will be the outcome of this soul search.

The next day, I announced on my stream that I will be taking a break, and that I needed some time on my own to figure out things. I am actually surprised that people were there to listen to me. They were giving me their support and comforting words. And there I realized that an answer was in front of me. “You are not Alone”. They were there to see me as I am not a part of their lives. It made me remember that part of me which is human. I told them that although I may not be streaming, I will be supporting our friends on their respective streams. I am glad I have LAVA with me as well, my friends trying to reach out to let me know I have them. I made treasures which I know are worth more than my material things.

Last weekend, I woke up and was still thinking about things. I sat at our dining table and there was my mom doing things. We started to talk, and it was there I found another wisdom which I might have forgotten in the middle of my chaos. “Acceptance makes things Easier”

Yesterday, I felt the day was really heavy and bad. Work, expectations and stress gave me a hard time to cope up, and all I can do was have a blank face, trying to know what I can do even though I already did a lot. Another bad event, happened, my mom forgot to pay our electric bill which made my day more darker. I had to go to Daet to actually settle it. But while I was thinking about a way to settle it, I remember papa J’s favorite quote.. “Just do it”. and it made me remember my hardships during the times I was taking my Masters degree. So I went to Daet, paid out bill, had spare time, bought paint, searched for alligaotr clips, and ate Jollibee food. I went home satisfied and stable.

I will be telling all the things I would remember and learn along the way as I venture in this break. I will finish everything that needs to be done and connect to people who I really need to connect. I will cut off everything which is toxic in my life and start improving it, to be better, to be deserving.

I know I am going to be fixed. So please help me Soul.

Love lots,

Jim

P.S.

Including in the break would be improvements of my contents for twitch and youtube, and also some real quality time with my Biii. Ill be starting that break soon after I finish building Gundam Meijimbo Ragna. -3-

#blog #life #confused #diary #love #friendship

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ftscge-blog · 6 years

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greetings friends (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ im jay and im excited to b finally making an obnoxious entrance .. Yea couldnt be more late but please (Softly begging) dont be a stranger. i promise to overwhelm u with ideas and headcanons about our characters eating pasta or arguing about who gets to eat the pink mentos ... Right ??? right. under the cut u will find a few pointers about my spiritual sage and i will post some possible connections tomorrow (although id be MOre than happy to brainstorm more). Also, dis klutz hasnt got a soulmate yet so if someone reads this and goes ‘yea cool’ ☺ .. here is ur chance ....... we can work magic ????? okay

as per usual, if u would like me to im u about conspiracy theories or to plot summnnn bonito give this a HEart. Alternatively if u want to give mark the zucc or pity like, dats also welcome. Thank u

!!!!!!!! tw: death, depression !!!!!

kendall jenner + cisfemale + she/her — have you met sage hawke? they are a twenty-two year old furniture sales advisor known as the conundrum. a pansexual cancer, they are astute + attentive, as well as mercurial + phlegmatic. their soulmark is a olive branch behind her ear, and they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate, who happens to look like any fc. // jay. 20. she/her. gmt.

❃ sage was born in berkeley, california in the back garden of a school bus turned tiny house to a pair of flower children that did not plan to become parents and underestimated just how much it would shift their otherwise, spontaneous lives. they were far from picture perfect, with their tendency to outburst and get stuck when things didn’t go their way. theyd often forget to pack sages breakfast or dress her in unmatched socks, leave her unattended, allow her to squeeze herself into places where she shouldn’t be.. they’d trip over pacifiers and forget to warm up the milk but they gave sage a warm place to come back to with muddy knees after repeatedly falling off the monkey bars and loving arms to fall into after someone made fun of her in elementary.. and she was the kind of person who wasn’t afraid to dig through dirt

❃ her mother was delicate, she could never secure a real job.. she couldn’t be criticised, she took everything to heart and found it hard to open up to people.. she couldn’t be alone for too long and never slept with the lights off. she met sage’s father at the age of 19..from the moment they saw each other, it clicked. they were soulmates. he was 10 years older than her. He was a childish spirit that never grew up, he never took things too seriously and always had an alternative for any situation. He had a backbone that was able to support both of them emotionally, without him, Sage would have never taken her first breath in the first place. For him, it was always going to be okay eventually??? he was the one to sit sage down after she brought home a bad grade, he’d read her the bedtime stories and teach her her first guitar chords. her mother always looked up to what he would do and try to be the same, but it always felt staged, detached. like she never knew how to react around sage. Like she couldn’t grip her own struggles so, how could she begin to understand her daughters ... difference is, her father thought he couldn’t but he always tried. they balanced each other. around him, it was hard to believe anything could possibly get worse

❃ but it did.. on her 14th birthday sage got a dog, a golden doodle that jumped with excitement at the sight of sage as much as she did at the sight of him. later that night, her father suggested they all go to a park to enjoy the first day with the new addition to their family and so they did. it was the first time, sage’s mother smiled so big it gave sage and her father goosebumps. he was playing fetch with the dog when pain pierced through his chest and bolted up his spine. in that moment, everything slowed down. sage felt her ears buzz and her sight get blurry, the moment she kneeled down in front of her father and begged her mother to call for help but instead, all she did was stood still. she screamed at the top of her lungs and tried dialling for help but realised, she was never taught the emergency number. she banged her fists against her father’s chest and begged for him to wake up, but it was just as though someone turned off his on switch. sage broke down, curled up beside her father and held the dog in her arms as though to repress his playful nature. the world turned grey that evening, the air felt denser. her mother was taken under care that day after she succumbed from witnessing her soulmates death... they had given her a couple of days before her light would turn off along with her soulmark. it was in these last days that sage learned more about her mother than ever. she learned that she was self conscious about motherhood knowing she couldn’t teach sage the qualities that mattered like resilience, courage and acuity. that she observed without interrupting, that she remembered every single detail of sage’s life more than she recalls her own. sage learned that her mother is where she inherited her tenderness and idiosyncrasy from, that her favorite flower is a blue bell and that sage was her happiest accident

❃ to bury both of her parents at once wasn’t irrational to sage, it was what was ingrained in their destiny. if one soulmate dies, the other most likely follows. but although sage had remarkable understanding of the world for her age, she could never accept the fact that they were there one day and the next, they were gone. her father never finished teaching her guitar chords and her mother never ate her piece of sage’s birthday cake. how do you go on knowing you can’t go back and replay something in a way that feels tangible ?? how do you go on knowing you are all alone. who do you complain to?? who is there to live for??? ? it is hard losing both of your parents on its own and even harder to accept when you are old enough to make sense of it. seeing images everytime you try to rest that bring back all the pain, not being able to stop the tears from streaming down your face because everytime u do, you realise that with each passing day the memory of their faces becomes more blurry. the voices become ruffled in your brain as if theyre just a fragment of your imagination. you bottle up. you scream, you hit, you tire yourself out and try to shake the feeling off but it feels as though its ripping through your bones and leaving ulcers on your heart that pound in pain everytime you go back to the last time you’ve smiled and realising, you cannot remember. sage’s unapologetic demeanour attracted the wrong crowd. she was the girl who would leave lipstick marks on necks and who’s voice could be heard at the other end of the hallway having an argument with her high school sweetheart. whoever it was that month. she was unapologetically eccentric, sloppy and unwell. but to this day, the people who really know her see her as an incredibly sensitive individual who deals with her issues hands on. who’s piercingly honest, sometimes too much. someone who is able to convey their vulnerability in ways that seem lunatic and astute all at once. she is incredibly tough, she’s able to force anyone look at themselves in the mirror, see themselves in a new light and turn their lives around. just as she is convinced she did

❃ sage was placed in foster care after her parents’ passing and due to her neurotic nature, was never a feasible candidate for adoption.. she worked as a waitress at the local diner owned by a family friend until they realised she was better off helping the chef in the kitchen, away from the customers that often walked right out the Moment sage graced their table JGRIEOGJEI When she turned 18, Sage was given a care plan and various locations where she could make her home. After spending a month, digging through job advertisements and applying to anything that didn’t require a college degree, Sage got one reply. It was an informal email requesting an interview for a furniture sales advisor in captiva island, florida. one of the places on the care plan list. She packed everything she could and moved to Captiva. the next morning, she arrived at the furniture shop and was greeted by a greying man with wood sand on his jeans and a lady with too much hairspray in her hair waving at her from across the counter. And the rest is HISTORY ??? from the moment they’ve welcomed her into their shop, Sage was overwhelmed with the same disorderedness she grew up around and the more she got to know the personalities of her new bosses, the more she learned to appreciate them. coming into work felt more like home than the place she had lived in, with freshly baked pastries ready for her to munch on at her break or a story to listen to in between the busy times. the more they knew sage, the more they allowed her to express her feelings about daily frustrations, accepted her random spurts of energy and understood when she needed a day off or two, or more. soon enough, the moments when she wasn’t at work, she was spending on their couch, looking through their albums of children that had left their nests and simpler times, when all they had to worry about was their curfew. they weren’t soulmates but they were best friends and didn’t let destiny determine their life. Sage looked up to them like no other, comparing their life to the tragedy of her parents’, convincing herself that chasing after your Soulmate, whoever it may be, isn’t worth the chance of risk at all. After working there for 4 years, Sage became like family to the owners of the shop and for her 21st birthday, they decided to gift her with their offering of parenthood. Later that summer, the Hawke family became sages legal parents

❃ i will post some questionnaire later to clarify her personality a little more but it’ll all come through her dialogue .. u know who she reminds me of ??? sophia from girl boss??? or tiffany from silver linings playbook?? shes painfully observant and a huge overthinker. she doesn’t filter her speech and oftentimes, she says things she should not on impulse. she’s neurotic, she’s erratic, she will pick petty fights and blow things out of proportion when you catch her on the wrong day. its like that lyrics thoUGH ‘when im happy oh god im happy??’ you will see it from the way her eyes crinkle and the ways she can’t seem to relax her body. every emotion overwhelms her.. she loves and she protecc until her knuckles bleed and she’s stubborn, she’ll never let you win the argument unless she loves u and she understands that u are probably way wiser than she is. Shes a klutz, she’ll trip over her own feet taking out the trash and spill Literally everything that isnt left empty. She likes little moments in life, the profound ones like that one time her friend let her drive his car even through she didn’t have her driving license or that one time her friend opened up to her even though they never do. She remembers all of those profound moments very clearly and holds onto them for dear life because to her, they are what matters .. Please plot w me if u got to this point because ... DAMNNN :’) u really read all det.....

❃ why the olive branch ??? its understood to be a symbol of peace .. reconciliation. maybe they met it felt like an ice pack on a bruise ?? maybe they met each other and it felt as though there’s been some kind of a mistake, that they were nothing what they expected their soulmate to be ? maybe they even considered removing their soulmark because it felt so wrong that two polar opposites were meant to make things work?? it almost felt unfair??? maybe even the fact that they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate can be linked to that .. because u know it would be harder to learn to love, platonically or romantically, someone who you cant easily understand? in addition to that, sage is not an easy person to deal with .. she’s erratic, she’s a know-it-all .. she overthinks like no other, shes easily irritated and explosive and she has always been quite cynical about the idea of a soulmate and it shows with how unwilling she is to share all of herself with a stranger.. a part of her written in destiny. Something shes convinced is ... fickle?? So yeah... an olive branch. For all the profound moments when it feels just right. For when the uncertainty fades away :-)

#this is Maaaaad long and im SOrry.#but hello :-)#cap.intro #if thats the wrong tag call me a boo boo the fool ..#Sorry if this is annoying and doesnt make sense #Which it might not. cause dats literally a whole ass ESSAAAAAAAY #smack me with a baking tin

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awhispersinging · 4 years

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Cambion

"It's ok I can see you and Im not scared. Who are you, and are you here to help." It was odd, but she felt like she had felt his presence before. She was paralyzed but not with fear more like curiosity.

"I am Eturnus, and what is your name?"He stood up, and she could finally move. He was huge and imposing, but she felt comfort in his presence.

"Im River. I hope you are here to help. I had nowhere to turn, and I said one last prayer hoping to be saved." Her family did not understand, and she was trying to avoid this camp and conversion therapy they wanted to send her to. "I CANNOT be here anymore." She sat on the edge of her bed and waited for him to say he couldn't help just like the others, but he didn't.

"Are you sure you are ready to leave? We can go right now, do you want to take anything with you?' She looked at him as if she had suddenly won the lottery.

"Are you serious? I have nothing I want to take except trinkets, everything else was meant for a guy named Gregori, and I am not him. I haven't thought of a middle name or anything, just the name River. How will we leave?" He pointed outside, and there was the pink mustang she had seen around town. So he had been around, and she had no idea. "Well, why did you wait til now if you have been around for so long? I called out to anyone that would listen, and you clearly are the only one that heard." He walked over to the balcony and looked out at the stars for dramatic effect.

"Well, I wasn't sure you really needed help, but seeing that you do, I want to be of assistance. I needed to know if you would notice. Let's go. Say goodbye to this town, and it's people. I know you will miss some, but you are starting anew, and once you are established, you can come back and gloat, would you like that dear one?" He saw himself in her. He just wanted her to be great.

"What will I gloat about. I don't have a job or house or car or anything. I don't know what to do first, where are we going anyway?" She was unsure about this new chapter that she jumped into, but he was there to help her and reassure her.

" Ha well, for the one you are getting a new wardrobe. I love a good sale, and I love a good thrift shop. Unless you just HAVE to have brand new clothes, which I could surely get for you. The choice is yours. " His voice was like satin. So smooth and soothing. She looked up at him, wide-eyed and expectantly. She thought it over and finally spoke.

"Well, thrift shops are always fun, especially the ones near rich neighborhoods. Rich people give away the best stuff. What city will I settle in?" For the first time all night, she sounded hopeful. She hadn't had a plan this whole time she just planned to run away. She grabbed the bag she planned to take and walked over to the balcony with him and looked at the sky. “I want to start over and be who I am, but I’m not sure who that is. I have my stuff, and I am ready.” He gave her a wide toothy grin and escorted her to the car. In the moonlight, she could finally see him fully and not just the horned silhouette. He was a little over six feet, and he was big and chunky. His skin was a smooth black with no blemishes. She again was in awe. He was beautiful.

They drove for some hours and talked the whole time. They made plans and thought out how River would become River. Finally, they were in a new city surrounded by high rise buildings, and it was alive with movement and life.

She got out of the car and breathed in the scent of her new roots. She stood on the curb and took in the sites. The sun was rising, and the skyline was beautiful. She was in awe. He came around the other side of the car, and he looked different. "Your horns are gone, I guess you have to blend in, huh." He nodded and lead her into the building. There, of course, was a code to get in, and there was a code on the elevator. " Pretty fancy place. We live here? Or are we visiting someone? " He chuckled as they exited the elevator and let her take in the whole of her new home. The entire top floor of the building is where she would live. It was completely empty. He stretched out his arms to showcase the place like he was Vanna White, and this was her puzzle-solving prize. " Well, honey, this is your house. Your job is to manage the building. You will draw a handsome salary and make sure these people's lives run smoothly. In essence, you will be my assistant in helping individual people. This building houses my rejected children. Each one was disowned or otherwise thrown away by their birth family. Do you think you could manage this house? Right now, there are only a few of you, but I want you to have something to do until you find your passion and yourself. "

She was silent, still in shock. She'd never been in charge of anything in her life, let alone a whole building and family. "Um, I don't know. Do you really think I can handle that? I've never made any choices in my life; everything was decided for me." She had many doubts, but they would soon be gone. The first order of business was to decorate her new home. Of course, they hopped in the 'Stang and went downtown. He brought her to a warehouse, and she wondered what would be inside. He saw her apprehension and tried to reassure her. "Warehouse stores are important Sunflower." He decided on the ride that would be her nickname from him. "See most people like showroom shit, but I hate showroom prices. Ancient wealth or not, I love a good deal. Now when we get in here, you may get overwhelmed by the choices, but remember you have an entire floor to dress. Also, we don't have to buy anything at all; we can just get ideas today if you want. Oh, and here's a new phone." He handed her a new pink Samsung that matched the car. Of course, he would be team Android, she thought. He grabbed her other hand and led her into the warehouse. She stepped through the huge opened door, and once again, she was overawed. There were bookshelves in many colors. Huge bed frames everywhere. Armoires that looked big enough to cover an entire wall, but immediately she was drawn to an intricate mirror. It sat atop a dresser that seemed to be cut from a single piece of wood. Around the mirror were vines and sunflowers that wound around each side until they met in the middle. But instead of a huge sunflower in the middle, there was a dragon with a yellow stone in its mouth. She ran her fingers across the wood, finally touching the stone. "I need this." She whispered it more to herself than anyone else. As the words left her lips, a woman appeared and placed a little bear totem on the corner of the dresser. She blinked, and the woman was gone. Odd, but she continued through the warehouse. " Who was that? " He laughed at himself for forgetting to tell her how the particular warehouse worked. "Well, when a piece calls to you and you answer, she marks it as yours. She's chosen a bear for you. Keep looking, your decor will find you." She walked around, and after about an hour and a half, she had enough furniture to fill the house. A bookshelf with Tardis bookends included, an Alaska King sized bed with the same design as the dresser, a black leather sectional for the entertainment area, a few marble tables, a kitchen island with a blue marble top, tv stands, and on and on. When she was finally finished, they went to a little room at the back of the warehouse. There behind a mahogany desk was the lady. Now, River could see all her details. She was short with a cute blonde pixie cut and skin almost the same smoothness and tone of the desk. " Hello, new friend, since this is your first visit, you get a new friend's discount. 20% off our already rock bottom prices. Would you like your things delivered tonight? " While the girls discussed delivery Eturnus called one of his theybies. They sputtered, making plans. He looked back in on the girls, and they seemed to be done. Now it was time to get clothes. He had made arrangements on the phone to bring her to an exclusive shop run by another one of his many children. “Alright, are you ladies done? Cool, let's go get some clothes, River.” With that, they both shook the lady’s hand and went back to the car. “Torryn is your new sibling. They are gender fluid, so they will understand your transition and will help you find clothes that fit your new person. Do you have the energy for this today, or do you want to wait until tomorrow.” She thought it over and decided clothes would probably make her feel great in her body.

"I will go shopping with them. I haven't gone shopping in a while." They got in the car and drove about 15 miles down the road and were in the center of town. They went into the town square and entered into a small second-hand shop called Torryn's Isle. She entered and was immediately drawn to a rack of pink and black clothes.

"Ah, so I see we have a pastel goth don't we Pops." She heard a voice coming from the far left. "Hello, I'm Torryn, how are you?" They came and stood beside her. "It's a boy day, by the way." They liked to clarify for it to be easier for anyone referring to them.

"I'm good. I'm River. And I guess you could say I was a pastel goth. But what exactly does that mean?"

He looked at her form and decided what size she could fit into. "Well, you'll see, Im sure you can fit this wanna go try it on?" He handed her a pink plaid tennis skirt with chains dangling from it and a purple and pink top. She walked into the dressing room, and as she did, her body began to change. It was like they knew how she wanted her body to look.

"I want to keep my weight."She said it aloud because she was sure it was his magic, allowing her to be in the body she had wanted. The only thing that really changed was her face and waist. And maybe some breasts. "I love this softer jaw and this snatched waist. I had no idea that I could look like this. How long will this last." She talked as she changed clothes and Torryn answered as if they had been acquainted for many moons.

"Well, forever, duh. Ain't this what you wanted right, and are you keeping your meat, or are we getting rid of it?"

"I want to keep it, and I mean both my weight and my junk ya know. I didn't want to fully transition. Am I still woman enough if I keep it?"

"Of course you are baby sister. You are a woman whether or not you got a cat." They laughed because this was the first time she acknowledged being trans to someone so nonchalantly. Once she was dressed, she came out and did a spin in the mirror so that they could both see her. "Wow, woman, you look great. And I have just the heels to go with this." They pulled out a pair of chunky black heels that had a purple and pink bow on the ankle.

"Thanks, and I love those heels. I also want an outfit that goes with those over there, the yellow dragon ones."She looked at a pair of yellow platform heels with an intricate dragon outlined on them in black with wings coming off the back. "Well, will you look at that Pops she likes the ones I designed, I finally have a little sister to dress. I am over the moon." They tried to sound smooth and steady, but the excitement was apparent in their voice.

"I see Tor, now you have a baby doll to put all your clothes on. Is that ok with you, Sunflower?"She, of course, was flabbergasted, her own stylist. This was a dream come true, so of course, she agreed, and that meant that Eturnus would need to leave her here for a few hours. "I know you are in good hands, so I will go pick up lunch and see if the delivery has been made of any of your furniture." With that, he poofed away. She loved his dramatic displays.

"He is always so damn dramatic, like was the smoke really necessary." Torryn laughed, rolling their eyes. "Since you really seem to love sunflowers and dark things, I have the perfect dress to go with these heels. It a flowy yellow and black beach dress, and there is a pattern of black dragons on them. Let's go see if you can fit; if not, we can work it."

"Torryn, I need help picking a middle name. Did you pick your own name, or was it your given name?" She wanted all the help she could get.

"Well, I was born with this name; it's like my parents knew I would be genderqueer, so they gave me a nonbinary name. By the way, I am the only one of his children whose parents didn't want to change me. He adopted me when they died. So your names River, what about Sage or Addison or Alexandria or Lilith. I like Lilith, and we can call you Lilly." She tried on those names while she tried on more clothes. Eturnus popped back in to check on them.

She said them each like a sentence, and the sentence she liked the most was "I am River Lilith Bao, but you can call me Sunflower."

"My little lily, are you ready to show Pops yet?"

"Yeah, Im dressed like him, so hold on."

"I present to you, your lovely Sunflower: River Lilith Bao." She stepped out in a pinstriped suit that matched Eturnus' own outfit, but hers was synched at the waist to make it a little more feminine. She had on a hat to match, and her hair was in two big braids so it would fit under the hat. "Hey, Pops, I'm just like you, ha." She did a spin for him so he could see her fully.

"Wow, Tor, she looks great. How do you like all of this Sunflower?" She finally saw herself as she was in her head, on the outside.

"I feel great, and they helped me pick my full name, do you like it?" Of course, he did. He loved it when his children got comfortable enough to take his name. Next on the agenda was lunch. Instead of bringing lunch to them, he made both kids out to lunch. There they met another one of his children. This one had married into the family and ran a little restaurant called Magdelana's. Magdelana had been in business for a while but had married Lareina a few years prior. She instantly fell in love with her, and they married shortly afterward. Now, they ran the restaurant together. They all walked in and had a seat near the side entrance. Eturnus was contemplating whether or not he should tell his own story, but before he could decide, River spoke up.

"Now that we have ordered, I can ask questions. What made you start expanding your family to include the unwanted and unloved?"

"Well, Ive seen a lot and watched many people destroyed because they haven't been loved correctly. I won't be part of the destruction of another soul." He took a bite of chips and salsa and gave her time to digest what he was saying. "I never want you to feel like you have to be a certain thing or a certain way for me to love you." He felt her relax a little bit, her aura changed, and she took a sip of her first margarita. As she sat there eating, she realized this was a golden opportunity, she was starting over, and she could be whomever she wanted to be. "But who is THAT?" He interrupted her thoughts, and she was surprised that he was reading her thoughts, but he wasn't. She followed his eyes, and a beautiful man was standing near the entrance. He was about 5 feet tall with freckled caramel skin, eyes like pools of oil, and shoulder-length red coils. He was giggling with Magdelana and slowly walking over to their table. Eturnus sat with his mouth opening and then closing like a fish. The man laughed.

"This is Javier, and he is who Ive been trying to get you to have lunch with forever. Now, River and Torr, you come with me and let Pops and Javi talk for a little while." Javier sat at the table in River's spot and continued to giggle like a schoolgirl.

"It's ok youngin Mags tells me you never take any time for yourself and it just so happens that we are both free and she is going to help River get acquainted. And hello River and Torr, by the way." River, Torryn, and Mags walked away, giggling about their perfect match. They sat across the restaurant and watched two ageless beings act like nervous teens. Javier was twirling his hair in his fingers while Eturnus was straightening his jacket and picking at the buttons. The kids soon got into their own conversations.

"So River since you've gone shopping for clothes and furniture I'm going to take you to get I.D. and food. Do you know how to cook? And I have a new birth certificate for you." They talked about food and the life she wanted to build. She had never had anyone listen to her this way, and it surprised her. They talked and watched the other two for about 45 minutes before Javier had to leave to handle his own business for the day.

"You have my number, use it. I enjoyed this time we had today.'' He walked over and hugged Magdelana and spoke to River. "You are a fortunate young lady, and thanks for allowing me to steal him for a little while today." They returned to the table.

"Well, that was interesting. I knew there were other Fallen out there, but it never crossed my mind to hook up with or otherwise engage in interaction with them. He is beautiful. And we are going to dinner tonight at 8. An actual date. Its been forever, what will I wear? And he won't tell me where we are going just to dress nicely. "

"You're blushing so hard. We should take you back to Torryn's so they can dress you. Also, Mags is taking me grocery shopping, and for a spa day so you have free time without me." River liked the idea that this entity who was setting her up for a happy life could be given a chance to love someone closer than just his children. In such a short time, he had already given her so much. ************************************************************** Later they all came back to the apartment. River and Mags at around 10pm and Eturnus sometime in the morning. River walked into the kitchen to the smell of breakfast.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. I made eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, toast, and homemade O.J."

"Someone's in a good mood, I guess last night went great?" She sat at the bar in the kitchen and began munching on a piece of candied bacon. "OOOh, you didn't say anything about biscuits." She hadn't had real biscuits since she was about 6.

"Last night was awesome. We went dancing and then went out to get ice cream at this old fashioned soda shop. I haven't seen one of those in years." He handed her a bowl of grits to go with her candied bacon and biscuits. They fell into a comfortable rhythm as is she had grown up with him making her breakfast daily, but he quickly changed the subject.

"SSoo school. Have you thought about if you want to go for a trade or something?" She could tell he wasn't comfortable talking about himself. "Well, I thought about going to get an MBA so I could help in the family business since that's what I was going for there. Mags was telling me about our chain of restaurants and the software company. I think I'd be great ar the software company building software and games. I did that in high school for fun, and I was pretty good at it. When is your next date?" She threw the last bit in just to see if he would answer.

"Nice try there. We'll be going out again, but I dont want to jinx it by talking about it. As soon as you brag, some bullshit happens. So we will see where this goes. Now about the job, do you think you can do school work and run this place?"

She thought it over and decided that she would focus on school and the building for now. So they sat and talked about her school plans and whether she should transfer. As they spoke, people came in and introduced themselves. "Since its Sunday, we all eat breakfast together. This is Jillian and Lorenzo. That's Darius, and those two are Victoria and Jenny. Now everybody isn't here, but this is part of the crew." Slowly the rest of the family trickled in and began to eat. River was overwhelmed with the number of people, so Eturnus pulled her to the side away from the crowd to talk to her.

"I see you are getting overwhelmed. Do you want them to leave because they can if you want."

"No, I just have to get used to people. I think my social battery died. Let's go back out. I have to get used to my family since I have a house to run." She had been thinking about taking a walk, but when they reentered the kitchen, she started to get to know her new family. She met Xiamora and Io, Eturnus' birth kids. They were born cambions. Then there was Aiden, Torryn's girlfriend, and Loara, her sister. Malina and Anton, who he had found on the streets of the city being pickpockets after their family rejected their union. Riano, Ryuu, and Yoru the triplets who simply showed up looking for help after Ryuu was rejected by their parents for being gay. There was a polyamorous group of Lorca, Saeko, Vladiana, and Clementine, who had also prayed for assistance when Eturnus appeared in their lives. The final few were more LGBTQ kids that he had found or inherited over the years. Altogether they were a family of 24. Once breakfast was served, she met the little children who were the offsprings of his children, his grandkids. In total, there were five. He stood in front of them all and cleared his throat to get their attention. "Children, I would like you all to give the warmest of welcomes to your new sister River. She was on her way to conversion therapy, but we saved her. Now she just left that life yesterday, so she is still raw with the feelings. She isn't big on crowds, so she may get overwhelmed until she gets used to us as her family. She also is not a hugger. River will be assisting me in the running of the house. Now give her some time like a month or so before you start seeking her counsel so she can settle into this new life." When he was finished, everyone went back to their conversations and their breakfast. River and Eturnus broke from the group again so she could ask any questions she had about their lives. "Do you have any questions about this life or our people?"

"Well, just one: how does one become a demon?" She tried not to sound too interested.

"The first option is that you are a fallen angel, which you are not. Second is we unlock that part of your soul. Is that what you want to do?" She shook her head, affirming that she indeed wanted that, and he continued. "Close your eyes and think of what your soul looks like. Remember when I showed you? Now, do you see that door? Take the key and unlock it. Do you see that light? Let it out, and you will become free and enlightened. Now a wealth of knowledge flows through you, and it will show you how to unleash your true power. Physically your life will end and begin anew as a full demon. Each human would have this ability if only they realized how easy and simple it is. You see, all souls start the same: light. The darkness of humanity shadows the soul then locks the unlimited away. Most think it is the darkness that makes a demon, but it is what makes you a human. Once you unlock that light, you may pass out, and when you awake, you may be a demon or another kind of light being depending on what light was used to create you in the first place, although it appears we are made of the same light. Now open your eyes. You should be getting tired and about to die in hibernation. Hibernation can take minutes or months, and that depends on how much rewriting needs to be done to your genes. So you may have to reschedule today's shopping trip with Mags."

She didn't want to reschedule, so she told him her plan. " Honestly I dont think I will be out that long it seems that most of who I am is who I have become in the last few hours. I think I will still go shopping." With that, she got up and went to find Magdelana so they could get the day started. "Mags, since we skipped shopping yesterday, we should definitely go this morning."

"Yeah, that sounds good are you ready now cause I am. Hey, Pops, we're taking the car." They took the elevator down to the ground floor and hopped in the car and drove off. They drove about 20 minutes to find the farmer's/grocer's market. It was an open-air market that was basically a roofless grocery store full of fresh food, and of course, they had a set of reusable bags in the trunk ready for shopping. They stopped at a few stalls and got some homemade soaps and some vegetables. They also got some fresh meats from a refrigerated section, and then finally they came to the bakery section. River heard a familiar voice call out, but it wasn't her name; it was her deadname. "Gregori, we've found you, please come home; we just want to help you."

She realized it was her mother. She paid for her bread and headed towards the car, not making eye contact and yelling over her shoulder. "My name is River, and I refuse to be tortured." She quickened her pace and looked a Magdelena to let her know she was scared. From her right, she saw an unfamiliar individual in a white nurse scrubs approaching her. Then she saw a few, and suddenly they were surrounding her. Someone grabbed her and pushed Mags away. She suddenly felt sleep taking her. All she could think was oh crap, not now. Soon she was out cold. While she was out, Mags was restrained while they got River into a van, and off they drove to the conversion camp. Mags immediately ran to the car calling Eternus on the way to let him know what had taken place.

"They came out of nowhere, and I have no idea where they are going, and there were too many of them for me to do anything." Mags was in tears, but she was angry.

"Dont worry dear, I know exactly where they are going, and I will handle this." As they hang up, River is getting closer to the camp but is still out like a light. Finally, they get her out of the van and into a cabin in a room on the grounds.

"We found him. He has changed significantly, and they are not minor changes, but we can definitely get him fixed so that he will be whole again." River was in and out of consciousness until she was finally on a bed. She willed herself to sleep, and she was gone. The monitors that they were hooking her up to did not seem to be able to find her vitals. To the equipment, she was dead.

Her eyes popped open as her parents stood over her, and her sister cowered in the corner crying in disbelief. "Eturnus, please save me. I dont know where I am, but they have me strapped to a table." She was praying to the only father who already loved her.

"How is he talking if there is no heartbeat and who is he talking to. Gregori, what is wrong with you? Why would you do this to yourself?" Her father was curious about the state of the child; he was ready to give up.

Hearing that name unleashed a burning fury in her that finally called up her demon abilities. She burned through the straps tying her to the bed and sat up. Her eyes were now an orange color as she stood on the bed. "My fucking name is River. I am not your child to change. I am not going to be tortured here. I am a child of Eturnus, and well, it sounds as if he may be outside." As she spoke, her new horns began to come through her flawless skin. She could hear the crashing and smell the burning of the rest of the camp. Her calvary was here. She jumped off the table and began to walk towards the door. Her mother reached to grab her from behind and was slapped with a wing that had grown from River's back.

"River, wait." That name from those lips was not new. It was her sister. She was the first person she came out to, and now she needed help. "Dont leave me here with them. They want me to be admitted here too, and I refuse to be their puppet. Please take me." As she was asking for protection, Eturnus finally made his way to the cabin's door.

"My dear Sunflower are you ok, I see your wings and horns have come in." He looked behind her and saw the parents that rejected her and the youngling that needed protection. "Hello Chloie, I will be happy to host you and keep you safe."

"Yeah, Chloie, let's go; we have a family that will love you. Don't bother looking for us or anything unless it's with an apology and full acceptance. Any other contact will cost you your life."

The three of them walked away and into the car that had been waiting outside the grounds. Magdelana was waiting for them.

"So, how'd it go?" They all laughed and rode off to finish shopping at the farmer's market.

#short story

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g5b3ysjw-blog · 5 years

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