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fxil76 · 4 months

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#tw vent #tw blood #tw sensitive content #tw sucidal ideation #i hate my brain #i'm fighting for my life here #im so tired #I hate being depressed.#art

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alchemania · 6 months

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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do #she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself #her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be #or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug #and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better #4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #furina

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ganondoodle · 1 month

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serious question, are there ANY (wired) headsets made today anymore that have seperated plugs for audio and microphone??

usb ones always cause trouble and the only other ones i can find are those with combined audio+mic into one plug, which i dont have the ports on my PC for.............

i tried looking through adapters but the only ones i can find are those that combine seperate ones, id need the reverse (if thats even possible)

(visualization bc i feel like i am losing my sanity trying to explain what i mean, am i stupid? did i halluzinate the two jack/plug thing???? do only cheap garbage ones have this??? is that one of the gaming chair things??? like oh you want a GAMING headset- that means either combined or usb haHA???)

#ganondoodles talks #personal #issue being that the new headset i bought is usb only and- of course- has a background noise that probably only ppl like me hear #im super sensitive to sound #like i hear bats and dog whistles you arent meant to hear #old headset (not the broken one) has a slight static and trouble with very silent sound which it cuts out #hence i got the newer ones (the now broken one) which didnt have that problem but well .. it broke after little use #new one has a weird beeping chirping in the bg #im so tired #(new one is the razer kraken v3- its usb only and any other plugs they have for other models are the damned combined one)#my computer isnt even that old but i literally cant find a single headset with those plugs seperated when i dont have that port #will i ever find a headset that fucking works with no drawbacks????#(wireless isnt an option bc i hate wireless anything that isnt a controller you can also use wired)#i know it may sound like its not working right but i am 100% certain its one only people like me can even hear #also i got no nerves to try and send anything back to amazon ... for once i bought it there....#or am i just stupid or did i miss some shit that made it standard to just call it differently or sth #like my pc has an audio port at the front and a mic port- two ports #the plugs (jacks???????) i see are the ones that have it in ONE #and i dont have it

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deoidesign · 1 month

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I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)

I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...

But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.

Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.

Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly

#i dont like when people pry about personal things #especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity #people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled.#and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something...#and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally #or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have #but i dont carry them with me and im not mad #im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable.#so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt!#and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it #but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues #and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me...#it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me.#that's all #im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person.#I'm learning everyday too #asks #anon

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steffigraf · 5 months

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merry christmas eve is this a good time to fess up to being ao3 writer baselinerallies

#im done living in secrecy. im tired of hiding. its time to be true to myself.#also cat keeps laughing at me and at this point i need to fess up before i do smth ridiculous #and maya was v nice abt it too and it made me feel better abt it #but yeah idk im kinda just! more comfortable being open abt it now! so yeah here we are #or at least id like to be more comfortable abt it #but i thiiiink you guys are sweet enough that im not super duper terrified to admit it #and id like to start talking abt my writing on here #but like skdbfksjdk #……….pls be nice i am sensitive abt this #but feel free to ask me stuff #if you guys want :’)#okay im done im gonna post this before i chicken out #tennisms

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ditzydoodiary · 4 months

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the internet is so mean. i dont know why i still use it. it affects my mental health so much. "but its the internet, its always going to be mean what did you expect" i know that. doesn't mean its ok to bully people just because its online and not face to face. im allowed to be upset over the fact that nowhere feels safe to me. please just be kind to people, it isnt that hard.

#im so tired #of friends of family of everyone #i hate being so sensitive #because why do things that are supposed to be harmless jokes effect me so much #i wish i could just disappear #autism #actually autistic #adhd #level 2 autism #mid support needs #disabled

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radmista · 20 days

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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

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every-dayiwakeup · 2 years

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Steve gently takes Billy's broad shoulders, and the blonde just melts, like the ice cream Steve serves ungrateful brats (the ones he doesn't babysit).

"You're so easy," he observes as Billy lets himself become one with his carpet.

"You callin' me a slut, Harrington?" Billy purrs slow and sweet, his mouth quirking into a sorry attempt of regressing to his familiar scowl.

Try as he might, if he was trying to appear threatening, he wasn't succeeding.

Not at his current state; sprawled out under Steve with a dazed look in his eyes, his hair frizzed and sticking up in several different places, a lazy smile effortlessly spreading across his face.

Spending more time in the sun peppered his round cheeks and button nose with more freckles.

Steve snorts, shaking his head. His ponytail swats Billy, who swats back, hissing in surprise. This makes Steve's chuckle evolve into a full on laugh.

"Whatcha laughin' at?" Billy demands, squinting at him.

"You."

Billy turns red at that. "Well Harrington you ain't a pretty sight either-"

"It's not about how you look, jeez!" Steve assures him, and Billy huffs under him, yanking his chest hair.

The whole situation is just so outlandish, the pain only makes Steve laugh harder. "I just... can't believe anyone could ever be scared of you.You're literally so cute!"

He pokes the soft strip of exposed flesh covering Billy's abs, and the blonde yowls, blushing up to the tips of his ears. "'M not cute, dickhead."

"You are. I mean... you're pretty, too," Steve finds himself saying awkwardly. As if Hargrove doesn't have a big enough ego already.

"Shuddup," Billy mumbles. "Not cute."

"You repeating it doesn't make it any less true." Steve squishes his cheeks together, and Billy flips him the bird.

"My God, you're like a fucking cat. Wonder what happens if I do this?" Steve tickles the extra chub under Billy's chin, and a soft mewl is heard from the younger boy. "Face it Hargrove, you're as cute as a button."

"If you tell anyone..."

"Easy, Kitty," Steve snickers, poking his tummy again. Soft.

Both actions earns Steve a well earned sock to the jaw. The punch is a bit pitiful, but it's clear Billy is either very sensitive to touch... or maybe it's just that one part of his body that's sensitive.

Steve licks his lips as lewd thoughts play out in his swimming head. To be fair, whenever he was with Billy, he never stopped thinking questionable, sinful thoughts.

And then Billy barfs all over Steve. A grimace on his face, he says, "If you continue to think I'm cute covered in vomit, Harrington, I implore you to get help."

"Why'd ya...? And on me?"

"Because someone wearing socks with sandles makes me sick. What do you think, Steve?"

"That you have a vendetta against my chest hair?"

Billy proceeds looks at him like he's a cat about to spit up a hair ball out of sheer spite.

And perhaps Steve does need help, because all that he's thinking is, "Oh my God, he called me Steve!"

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