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suffarustuffaru · 7 months

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Hey, how are you doing? Firstly, i'll understand if you choose not to answer this ask since the subject is controversial and kinda heavy

We currently have at least two pedos in the story, like, actual pedos (the guy obsessed with Liliana and the creepy butler that i forgot the name) and then tappei's writing in some things is just... weird?

I get that subaru and beatrice are supposed to have a sibling relationship, but it just weirds me out

And he keeps adding loli characters with questionable designs too

What is your opinion on this? Its something i manage to ignore, but it still weird me out a little

hi anon!! :o thanks for asking how im doing pfft im doing pretty well - though i am a college student and its This Time of Year (end of semester) so im hanging in here lmao 👍

also ok as for the topic at hand!! yeah no i 100% hate it. ive been thinking about rezeros flaws lately because the further you get into watching/reading rezero the Clearer it gets. its mostly fine at say, arc 1, but by the time you get to arc 5 or arc 8 its like. What the hell. This again?? so yeah its 100% understandable to be weirded out and uncomfortable by it because tappeis writing is frankly Gross sometimes.

(okay also yes this ask has minor or major arc 5+ spoilers yes and also. You know. detailed discussion regarding rezero sexualizing children.)

yeah so tappei writes problematic things into rezero regarding both women and children especially, and while theres exceptions its like. very Prevalent in rezero. i talked about it a bit in my last ask if youd like to check that out!! but yeah like. i hate how children are treated in rezero. its very Problematic a lot of the time.

tappeis writing follows very similar patterns regarding treatment of children and women that you see in a Lot of other anime/manga/japanese media - and media in general, really, but im sure most anime watchers / manga readers will know what im talking about because its unfortunately That common. we're all seen this. like fan service shots, lolis and shotas, etc etc. but rezero is a little more insidious i think, just because tappei is capable of writing good characters regardless of age or gender. and theres Less of stuff like fan service - or at least rezero is a little less obvious about it or its just seen less in rezero, but thats also because media in general is so in your face about it and Unfortunately Common so rezero looks like a tiny bit of paradise in the middle of a barren desert.

i mean look at the amount of people who've thought rezero was a harem anime until they watched rezero - rezero seems like an outlier but thats only because its just a tiny bit less gratuitous and it still has a lot of good writing. and also because i am pretty sure the bar for media like this - especially media in rezeros genre (isekai) is Extremely Low. like depressingly low. and despite rezero being a deconstruction of isekai, rezero also contradicts its own damn messages sometimes about treating others like the People they are, respecting others Personhood, treating women well, etc. and its easy to see that the moment you look at some of otsuka's artwork and designs for rezero or if you look at all the rezero merch mainly based around the girls and Sexualizing the girls and its like. my god this is a little depressing to look at. rezero is just a tiny step in the right direction away from say, misogynist shounen/seinen media thats also weird about kids or something, but then rezero trips and falls on its own face after taking several right moves.

the problem is that these problematic aspects are still there, theyre still clear to see if youre paying attention, and often character arcs start well but then fall flat despite the good foundation. and then the problematic aspects hammer the already Poor/Inconsistent Writing into the ground which it makes it Even Worse.

like louis is a great character. shes fascinating, really. and then you hit arc 7 and she regresses immediately into the mind of a toddler so we only get to see her amnesiabaru/Suffering From Rbd arc in arc 6, her confrontation with subaru, and then BAM its arc 7 time and now she is an entirely different person????? i remember raging the further i got into arc 7/8 and realizing she hasnt gotten any development, she just changed instantly. it just feels lazy to me!! unless tappei proves me wrong and writes her developing but right now louis has spent two goddamn arcs being subaru and rems loli prop/daughter prop/a plot device to use in battle, basically. okay sorry i got passionate there but i SWEAR it gets on my nerves a bit. the louis/spica conflict now would feel so much more thrilling if she didnt have her weird half assed arc 7 development.

like if i was really in the fantasy world, of course i wouldnt vote to kill spica, shes innocent now. she doesnt know shit about her crimes, shes a whole other person now. she didnt do those things. she is an innocent child. i did a poll on this a while back actually haah and yeah a lot of rz tumblr, including myself, voted to let her live for this reason!! but also like. narratively speaking. i do not care about spica at all. shes a blank slate, shes just there to move the plot, she is taking up space in the plot right now and she does not need to be here forever. i 1000% want her dead hah. yeah shes this cute little kid now, but again, she got zero development. why should i care about her?? all the interesting things about her in arc 6, all the potential that couldve happened out of her gradually going from her arc 6 self to someone who genuinely cares about rem and subaru is gone. If we actually saw this change, personally id care more about spica and be invested in her character but as it stands im really Not. and i think if we saw her actually Develop a lot of us readers would be more invested to see this conflict out - not only because our Favs are fighting over it, but also because we’d actually care about spica. Like. im not sure how many people actually care about louis past arc 6, but yeah thats just my personal thoughts on it.

And also the Other big flaw with louis’s character is tappei once again being creepy regarding kids and. Okay im gonna show an excerpt from the arc 6 WN (iirc ch60 to be exact?) and yeah fair warning because it is once again sexualizing a child (louis). But also im putting it here in case anyone wants to see some vivid proof of rezero being weird about kids. Im not sure if this was cut from the LN version or not but the fact that it exists At All makes me want to put tappei on a watchlist.

And okay i know you might be thinking about how louis represents the sin of gluttony anyway and gluttony includes sexual or romantic desire too and how having louis, who looks like a child, say this makes it even more Offputting - like. Yeah. but is it Necessary? because making louis, WHO LOOKS LIKE A CHILD, say all this and then use descriptors like “expressed a bewitching smile unsuited to her age” - is this Actually necessary? You have to be careful writing this sort of thing, because a child/character who looks like a child saying things like this due to being, you know, Mentally Unwell, is different from Emphasizing What Theyre Saying By Sexualizing Them via the narration and descriptions. And why is the sexologist line there?? its just frankly uncomfortable, to an unnecessary extent, i think. I just dont think we need all this emphasis on louis’s body, louis’s apparent “arousal”, or how her smile is “unsuited to her age” (this is the narrative once again sexualizing a child), and plot-related sex/sexual content in rezero is kept to a minimum anyway so you could also literally just have louis be weird about “loving subaru” without the sexual aspect. Because she literally just said that she was aroused by him. she looks like shes twelve at most and then in the arc immediately after this one she regresses back to having the mentality of a toddler!!! and then shes subaru’s daughter there.

And again, i know that the whole point of this scene is to be off-putting and disturbing and wrong in all sorts of ways (and also subaru tries to kill louis a page later so like.) but i think if youre going to keep the appetite=sexual desire detail (which IS a good point about gluttonys nature, on its own), then this scene absolutely needed to be handled better than what we got when the character saying this is a child. you can write a child sexualizing herself because shes frankly Unwell or Doesnt Know Better, because this is fiction and you can write sensitive topics like this with proper care, but if you, the author, are sexualizing this child, then that is a Whole Other Thing.

or you can entirely dodge this whole debate over whether or not this is actually okay to write by making louis look older. but tappei went with this route once again in a sea of rezeros various child characters despite the fact that tappei then decides to link sexual desire to the sin of gluttony, which is a sin occupied in rezero by three children. I know ley has a very traumatic backstory, and the specific details are escaping me but iirc he was likely a slave or something along those lines, with implications that hes been abused by adults, so you could delicately handle what kind of abuse he Couldve unfortunately had to go through, and also of course roy and louis are clearly not okay in the head either, but. Once again. Children in rezero Not Being Sexualized in some way is a rarity. Unfortunately.

you see this pop up again and again and again. petra? Yeah iirc theres a side story where shes weird about subarus underwear. Correct me if im wrong on that but also i would not be surprised if that was a real side story. Unfortunately. Also theres Uncomfortable lines regarding petras chest.

according to rezero wiki, schult is… well iirc al makes creepy comments about schult being a shota (and of course this isnt really called out in canon), and theres also these two details about schult:

also regarding sin archbishops who look very young, capella represents lust and yet she also looks like a child. i know the point of her design is to make her a bit grotesque, but you can get that point across without making her look fifteen years old at most. this is the sin of lust too. and shes already called “Mama” in canon—she doesnt need to look that young!!**

also side note about pandora. she also looks like a child, which—its okay with her, except for the frankly lazy outfit design imo?? why is she wearing a bedsheet??**

** another edit: its easy to see capella and pandora as women also, but again, tappei and otsuka In General keep mixing up short/young women and Children and it should be easy to tell if pandora and capella are children or young women or not. but i dont feel that its clear enough given tappei and otsuka’s Track Record.

and typhons design with the see through skirt is so creepy and disturbing that im Really glad the anime fixes it most of the time. heres the fixed version:

but also the anime Really doesnt fix it as much as it probably should, because her dress is Still see-through in some shots. you can even see a bit in this shot—we dont need to see her lower body area like That!! this skirt doesnt need to be see-through!! and the bar was already in hell anyway because otsuka makes typhon’s skirt Really see-through.

theres also this photo of typhons design and its Way better without that see-through skirt.

granted, there is some good child character designs—felt’s arc 1 design frankly sucks though purely because of the way her outfit is handled. like its Really bad. it takes only like one look to see that. but her arc 5 design is a Huge Improvement:

characters like meili, schult, child subaru, etc have good designs too, but you know, this doesnt change the Creepiness regarding children, because this also applies to subaru and Some Lines about him in arc 8 iirc. if i find them again ill talk about it another time (or if someone else finds it feel free to add on to this post?) but yeah just. urgh.

regarding felt again, theres a scene in a felt camp side story where she wakes up naked in bed, post arc 1, after reinhard kidnaps her to his mansion. and yeah, the whole point of the scene is to show reinhard is kind of dense and bad at reading social cues because hes still trying to talk to her very civilly while shes covering herself with the bedsheets and she Literally just got kidnapped by him, but, say it with me, she doesnt need to be naked. she couldve woken up in bed in her usual clothes and the point still wouldve come across!! WHY is she naked??? shes fourteen.

and also like capella, liliana looks like a child. and of course theres kiritaka, as anon said, whos obsessed with liliana, and then theres clind, the creepy butler. and of course tappei has “deniability” because lilianas not Really a child (she STILL looks like one), and clinds not Really a pedophile, he just likes youthful souls!! (this is literally disgusting.) and clind may have interesting lore or whatever about how hes kind of involved with the sin archbishop of melancholy but i just dont give a shit about him when hes a pedophile that tappei keeps excusing.

also mimi? mimi is a Special Case.

the thing with mimi and her brothers is that its implied in the kararagi girl and cats eye side stories that kittypersons (??) are fully grown by age 1. theyre rescued from dying on the streets but they insist theyre “fully grown” (at age 2-3). they havent changed physically at all. and they dont change physically at all later, because now in the Present Day they all look Exactly the same as they did when they were 1, 2, 3 years old. did they grow mentally???? theyre like 14-15 in the main route. and then you look at aganau route from the lost in memories mobile game which takes place around twenty (??) years after arc 3, and mimi is a grown woman and she looks exactly the same as she did when she was 14 or 2 years old. and then this makes her romance with garfiel a little weird because hes a normal fourteen year old??? but mimis been fully grown all this time??? what??

this is mimi. yeah, she and her brothers look EXACTLY this age their WHOLE LIVES.

and meili? yeah shes definitely one of the better child characters, though she does have an Extremely Traumatic backstory and has had a habit of copying elsa. this on its own is fine and understandable. elsa was her only support and shes a child, of course shes gonna copy elsa. though iirc she also copies elsa’s “flirtatious” aspects, which is honestly also understandable given elsa is a Questionable Influence, but this detail about meili’s character gets worse when you think about it in the context of all the other child characters—

why is it that all the children tappei (and otsuka) keep sexualizing are in the same age range? theyre about 9 or 10 to 14. louis stops being sexualized when she reverts to being a toddler and becomes subarus daughter. felt stops being sexualized when she turns 15 in arc 5. emilia is the main love interest to subaru and shes apparently “mentally 14”?? and shes tappeis favorite character too? but also mimis case is so weird because shes been “fully grown” since the tender age of ONE YEARS OLD?? well also i sure hope im wrong on this point but given the amount of child characters that fall in this age range and also how Often theyre all sexualized and also the majority of them are Young Girls—yeah its. its not a great look.

(and again a side note about meili again—tappei uses similar descriptors that he used for louis: that its “inappropriate for her age” and that she’ll “attract many men in the future”. tappei stfu. please.)

subaru’s lolimancer title is kind of funny. maybe. until you remember rezero being creepy about kids. and also like—i dont like the idea of tying a word like “loli” to the literal main character of the story anyway skdnd. theres just Connotations to it.**

**EDIT: i was told that “loli” is apparently a fan translation thing, while in japanese its “little girl user”, but in an inoffensive way (like Jojo’s “stand user”). make of that what you will!! (not great that the fan translation makes rezeros already poor treatment of kids Even Worse.)

and also—was subaru, al, medium, etc turning into children really necessary?

like in subarus case, its so he can have more ego, more confidence, more recklessness while being nerfed a bit and being mistaken as the emperor’s son—but at the same time, this just feels like a watered down version of the amnesiabaru arc to me where he has more ego, more confidence, more recklessness, and hes nerfed, but then he learns to love himself more. it just feels too similar to the amnesiabaru arc imo. him turning into a child feels very unnecessary imo and it doesnt look great when you remember tappei and otsuka’s fixation on children. literally arc 8 would be exactly or almost exactly the same if subaru was back to his usual 18/19-year old self. but he has to keep being a kid right now because Plot, apparently. then again if anyone disagrees with me on this feel free to explain your stance!! but yeah as of rn i just want subaru to be back to his usual age.

also tappeis weird about young priscilla/prisca and lamia but i havent read the ex novels about them yet so i cannot go in depth 👍 but just know you get nice lovely lines (sarcasm) like “flirty way she caresses her own thighs”. great!!! thanks tappei for fanservicing underage teenage girls once again!!

and again, treatment of child characters / characters who look younger than they are in rezero—this is so so creepy also as someone who does in fact look younger than my age. and im also Very Short (4’11) too. so like. thanks tappei and otsuka!! i feel very comfortable right now 👍

and women are often infantilized in rezero which you can. Easily connect to the pedophilia, yeah. theres also age gap romances in general, and i mentioned emilia already (yeah. emisuba is an age gap romance.), but theres also ram and roswaal, frederica and clind, anastasia iirc gets described Weirdly sometimes because shes a short flat-chested woman, and recently theres been madeline and balleroy having a small moment (that feels. Romance coded. iirc.) in an arc 8 chapter.

they look like this by the way:

thanks tappei and otsuka once again for the creepy writing and designs that actively work against all the good parts of the damn story 👍

on a lighter note, i think beatrice in general + beatrice and subarus relationship is one of the better parts of rezero—iirc theres nothing creepy about it, and beatrice and subaru are very easy to read as a sister and brother relationship. theyve helped each other out in many ways, and theyve grown Very close by the time we see them in arc 5!! you could. Technically see their relationship as a father-daughter one too, but i dislike that take—not for bad reasons, but just because i feel like it doesnt fit them.

the thing with beatrice though is that shes simultaneously A Child but shes also like. 400 years old. so i do wish the narrative balanced that more post-arc 4–not in a creepy way of course. god no. but in the sense that shes mature in a lot of ways!! shes familiar with death and suffering!! shes intimately known Isolation!! that sort of thing. shes the one whos closest to subaru because of how he helped her in arc 4 (“choose me”), and also because she knows about his self-harm and heals his injuries. shes someone who can deeply understand subaru in a lot of ways in this sense, at least. the way they support each other feels more like a sibling bond to me and not a Parent-Child one just because youre not Really supposed to be leaning this much on your child for support. theres a power dynamic to a Parent-Child relationship, and beatrice and subaru are Equals.

plus echidna gaslight gatekeep girlbossed both of them, so theyre also siblings in that sense hah…

but yeah correct me if im wrong on that though regarding beatrice and subaru and im missing something?? but yeah as far as i remember and as far as i can tell, i think theyre actually one of the least creepy parts of rezero hah :,)

and then because this sort of thing is Unfortunately so common in media like rezero, we’re kind of conditioned to try and ignore it so we can keep reading or watching because its Everywhere. i still enjoy some of rezero, but its hard to ignore All Of This. and i think its important not to turn your brain off to it and recognize whats Wrong here, yeah. (unless it makes you so uncomfortable that you have to stop looking at rezero, which is very understandable.)

but yep. thats rezero for you.

#rezero #re:zero #ask #tw pedophila mention #tldr rezeros treatment of kids is Horrible and i hate it 😔#like so many of these characters would be so good without the problematic aspects!!#you can write sensitive topics like this but you cannot be Supporting them as you do that!!

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adriennebarnes · 1 year

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Hi, I was wondering if you could an Xavier Thorpe x addams!reader fic where there's a Addams family reunion and she's introducing him to everybody

It’s an Addams Family Reunion

Of course I can! Hope you like it, mi vida. My first Xavier Thorpe x Addams!Reader fanfic

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Addams!Reader

Summary: When Y/N is getting ready for the Addams Family Reunion, Xavier decides to pay her a visit

Warning: probably none

Y/N Addams is Wednesday's younger sister by a year. Much like Morticia, she sees positive things in her visions and has a more optimistic outlook on life. She has been dating Xavier Thorpe for a few months, when the fall semester ended early, Xavier have cellphones to both Addams girls. They are currently FaceTiming each other.

"What are you doing tomorrow, sweetheart?" Xavier asked as he was sketching.

"Well...I have a family reunion this weekend, tomorrow we have family flying out so I gotta make sure the house still has cobwebs and I need to feed Kitty and Cleopatra." Y/N said casually.

"There are more Addams? Who are Kitty and Cleopatra?” Xavier asked.

"Yes, there are a lot of us, and Kitty is our pet lion, Cleopatra is one of my mom’s plants. But I'll be busy tomorrow and the weekend, I'm sorry, pretty boy." Y/N said and she watched Xavier blush.

"It's fine, my love. Does the reunion start on Friday?" Xavier asked

"I think it does, yea. Pugsley is going to be playing with dynamite with our Uncle Fester when he stays in our house. Before you say anything, yes, it's perfectly safe...for us anyway." Y/N said.

"You Addams really are kooky." Xavier stated.

"Wednesday prefers spooky, but I agree. I need to walk Kitty, gotta go, okay." Y/N said.

"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow." Xavier said and they hung up. There was a knock on her bedroom door.

"Y/N, darling, Can i come in?" Morticia asked.

"Sure mom, come in." Y/N said, putting away her phone.

"Were you talking to your boyfriend? The Thorpe boy?" Morticia asked.

"Yes mom, I've been talking to him. What did you what to talk about?" Y/N asked.

"Is he going to come over? I haven't seen him since Parent's Day.” Morticia said.

“I’m not sure, actually. Does Kitty need a walk?” Y/N asked.

“Your father is already walking Kitty so don’t worry. Tomorrow Cousin Itt and Uncle Fester are coming along with your grandmama, okay.” Morticia said.

“Okay, mom.” Y/N said, when Morticia left the room, Wednesday came in.

“Sister, when was the last time we saw the whole family?” Wednesday asked Y/N.

“It was for Pugsley’s Mazurka 2 years ago. Is the house even big enough to have the family reunion here?” Y/N asked.

“Maybe it is, it would be great to see Uncle Fester again though.” Wednesday said.

“Yeah i know, you’ll see him tomorrow.” Y/N said and with that, Wednesday left Y/N’s room.

Skip to Friday, with Gomez Addams being old money rich, their house was enormous and fit all the relatives. Everyone was sitting down, eating the food that Lurch had prepared for them. Then Y/N heard a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it!” Y/N yelled and when she opened it, she was surprised to see Xavier standing there is nice-ish clothes. “Xavier, I can’t believe you’re here, come in.” Y/N said, stepping aside to allow Xavier to come inside.

“Wow, your place and family are bigger than I thought. And there’s just a lion walking around, cool, no need to be scared at all.” Xavier said nervously.

“Um yeah, my dad makes a lot of investments and deals, he makes a lot of money without even trying, it’s his gift.” Y/N commented offhandedly. “Is it okay if I introduce you to everyone? I don’t want them asking questions.”

“Yeah sure, I can’t believe im meeting your entire family in one day, this is getting serious.” Xavier said.

“Oh yes, very serious, i expect a promise ring next month.” Y/N said teasingly, trying to calm his nerves but it didn’t work. “Im kidding, let’s just go.” Y/N looped her arm with Xavier’s to introduce him to everyone. “Mom, dad, Pugsley, you remember Xavier, right?”

“Oh yes of course, you gave the girls phones, I assume they are on your phone bill.” Gomez said.

“Yes, yes they are, don’t worry Mr. Addams.” Xavier said.

“No need for formalities, hijo, Gomez is fine.” Gomez said.

“Would you like to play with explosives my Uncle Fester gave me?” Pugsley asked Xavier, trying to be friendly.

“Not right now, Pugsley, I have to introduce him to everyone.” Y/N said,

“Maybe after.” Xavier said, making Pugsley smile slightly. Then they went to another family member.

“Cousin Itt, this is my boyfriend Xavier, Xavier, Cousin Itt.” Y/N said.

“Nice to meet you.” Xavier said and Cousin Itt chittered in reply.

“He said nice to meet you too and he likes your hair.” Y/N ‘translated’ for him.

“I like your hair too.” Xavier told Cousin Itt.

“He says thank you, I’ll talk to you later Itt.” Y/N said and then walked away.

“Is he made out of hair or does he just have really long hair?” Xavier asked Y/N.

“I Don’t know how to explain it…he has arms and legs so I guess he just has really long legs.” Y/N said.

“Can you understand him when he talks?” Xavier asked.

“Yes I do, it’s an Addams thing.” Y/N said. She later spots her Grandmama and Uncle Fester, deciding to introduce them to Xavier. “Grandmama, Uncle Fester, this is my boyfriend Xavier.”

“Oh wow, you are so very handsome, and tall too, you bagged a good one, Y/N.” Grandmama said and Y/N looked embarrassed while Xavier laughed a little, feeling flattered.

“Thank you, grandmama.” Xavier said.

“Call me Eudora.” Grandmama said.

“I hear Y/N talk about you a lot, it’s nice to see you in good lighting.” Uncle Fester said.

“Yeah, he was in the Nightshades library when you were there with Wednesday.” Y/N explained to Xavier.

“Oh, It’s nice to out a face to the name then.” Xavier said. Y/N has introduced Xavier to everyone from Ophelia Frump to Dr, Flambe, Uncle Knick Knack, Great Auntie Sloom, Aunt Petunia, and the spirits of Granny and Grandpa Frump (yes I googled the extended Addams Family). “I met everyone, right? Please tell me I met everyone.”

“You met everyone, guapo, trust me, you met everyone. Wednesday is currently dancing with Cousin Lumpy and Monday Jones.” Y/N said, looking at Wednesday dancing with their cousin.

“Do you want to dance?” Xavier asked.

“Really? Right now?” Y/N asked,

“Consider it…a do over from the Rave’N.” Xavier said, having his hand out for Y/N to take it. She took it and began to dance to the harpsichord that Lurch was playing.

“Thank you for coming to the reunion, you didn’t have to.” Y/N said.

“You were busy yesterday so I figured why not come over today. Is it okay if I sleep over though? That way I can get on your family’s good side.” Xavier said.

“Why would you need to be on their good side?” Y/N asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I see this relationship lasting at least a year, maybe more.” Xavier commented.

“You do, huh? Well…what if I told you the same thing? That I can see our relationship lasting i graduate from Nevermore. What would you say?” Y/N asked Xavier. Xavier made a pensive face, spun Y/N out, then spun her back towards him.

“I would say that’s great, because I love you.” Xavier said. It’s the first time he said it too.

“I love you too, Xavier.” Y/N said, and they leaned in to kiss each other.

“My life has become so much better since you and Wednesday started Nevermore.” Xavier commented.

“Even after Wednesday accused you of being the Hyde and getting you arrested?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, even then, because you were by my side every step of the way, I liked that you visited me in the police station.” Xavier said.

“Of course, I wasn’t going to let my boyfriend go through such a tough time alone.” Y/N said, kissing his cheek.“My life has also become better since I met you.”

“I think I should go play with Pugsley’s new explosives. Hey Pugsley, I’m ready to play now.” Xavier shouted when he saw Pugsley playing outside. So now Xavier and Pugsley are both outside playing with the explosives Uncle Fester got him and Y/N was just watching them have fun. She then felt a presence near her.

“You really like him, do you?” Wednesday asked.

“I love him. We love each other actually.” Y/N said.

“And he met the entire family, he didn’t faint when he saw Kitty, I was hoping he did though. He handled our family really well, I must say.” Wednesday commented. “He could definitely be an Addams.” Wednesday said.

“Yeah, I think he could be an Addams too.” Y/N commented, looking at how Pugsley hugged Xavier after blowing up something with his hand grenade.

#xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thrope imagine #xavier thorpe #percy hynes white #the addams family #wednesday

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himbobathwater · 7 months

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hey all-- thought i'd give a life update

things haven't been great recently. i'm taking an indefinite hiatus from writing because of the amount of stress i'm under right now. i think my followers and especially my mutuals (ily guys /p) deserve a bit of transparency because i've been pretty inactive for the past week beyond liking a few posts.

1) to start off with some good news-- i am planning on finishing summertime. just not now. this fic is my baby, i intend to see it through to the end, especially since we're so close now. i'll admit i haven't been as proud of the past few chapters but i still think i'll end up with a nice, well rounded story. after that i'll take a break from multichaps and only post the occasional oneshot until i think i'm ready for another multichap.

2) i've been doing a lot behind the scenes. the main source of my stress right now is the amount of work in activism i've been doing. without going into much detail, i've been doing a lot of pro-palestine fundraising, protest planning, etc. that my parents don't exactly approve of. i thought that despite our jewish heritage that they would be understanding of the situation at hand and how important this cause is, but they have a warped idea of what's happening in gaza and think i'm promoting antisemitism. they have strongly urged me to stop what i'm doing-- i won't stop unless they threaten to send me home from school. that is the only way they can get me to stop. i'm more than willing to create a rift between myself and my family if it means i get to support a cause like this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. it's the loneliest i've felt in years.

3) the semester is ending and i have a lot of schoolwork to do. i registered for next semester's classes today, got waitlisted for two classes, my advisor is being unhelpful (pretty sure she thinks i'm a freshman LOL), all that stuff. luckily next week is our thanksgiving break and i'll get a much needed week off, so i have that to look forward to.

4) i have like, 200 dollars in my bank account. that's bad. i cant afford groceries right now without completely breaking the bank. my school's meal plan is pretty much all i have right now.

to end this post off, i want to encourage you guys to not worry too much about me. despite everything happening right now, i think i'll be okay. although i'm taking a hiatus, writing has still been a good outlet. if nothing else, im getting great poetry out of this. and since i'm a writing major, i think that's good? or maybe my professors are gonna start looking into referring me to a therapist. it's fine either way. it's gonna start snowing here soon, which is nice.

i'll be back soon. not going completely inactive, just stepping back a bit. see y'all later :3

#toastposting

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way2gowillow · 2 years

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Why does no one listen??? Like I remember when I was like 10 i started having intense wrist pain and at the time I was cheerleading so i thought it was just carrying the girls so of course I tell people hey hey my wrist hurts rlly bad can you help me but of course they say "it's just from the handstands and cheerleading just ease off" then I 'complain' so much I can't cheer anymore but the pain still persists and I'm telling people I'm in pain I'm in pain hello??? And they're like "well you know you have an bulimia it's probably just being bulimic things" so no doctors or parents listen to me then I recover from bulimia then I gain weight right and they go "oh y'know it's just you being a women that's why your back hurts" then I join my art school and I start taking dance classes to help with my theatre degree im going for so I start dancing, and the pain doesn't stop. "Dad I'm serious my feet hurt so bad I can't even walk" he goes "well maybe you should stop dancing" I go to the doctor for a checkup late last semester 'hey I'm having excruciating pain and it won't go away." "Maybe it's arthritis." But my dad cuts her off "no, they don't need any tests their fine." I'm like 15 atp and I'm trying to literally TYPE ON A KEYBOARD and my fingers lock up I show people LOOK MY FINGERS ARE STUCK I'm in pain, I'm ALWAYS sick I get sick like twice a month something is wrong. I'm taking acting classes that semester so it's not like I'm doing heavy exercise for them to blame it on he goes "you're really being dramatic you're just stressed" now here I am. 16 years old middle of the summer. I've been trying any and everything to feel better to stop the pain from coming in. And I wake up this morning and my entire body hurts. Every. Single. Inch. It's never been this bad before in my entire life. My neck, my shoulders, my elbows, my wrists, my fingers, my ENTIRE BACK EVERY INCH, my hips, my knees, my ankles, and my feet and toes hurt so bad I have literally been unable to even walk more than a few feet without having to sit down, I have a pretty intense pain tolerance too, so I walk downstairs having to get my sister to practically carry me, theyres tears pouring down my face I've never been in this much pain, I walk into my dad's office "dad please it hurts so bad make it stops" HE TELLS ME that "You've been eating pretty bad recently lots of sugar..." (He's a 2 almonds per day type of person, which is ironic because my mother is 350 pounds... But anyways) and I say"okay??? What about my PAIN"

He says "I'll take you to the gym tomorrow, and eat better, you're really doing way to much with all this crying go wash your face." THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY "your room needs to be clean by the way"

WTF I AM SOBBING I AM IN SOBMUCH PAIN and I just like get dismissed like this IVE BEEN IN PAIN FOR 6 YEARS. IT WONT STOP and like why does no one listen to me I'm sick of this shit I'm just gonna just die. Like curk up in a ball and die. I can't even get out of bed, my sister helped walk me upstairs and I'm laying here but like I don't think he understands how much pain I am actually in. I never cry for pain, like ever, yet no one listens.

I don't know, I'm stuck. I need advice. Im not an adult yet I don't know what to do. I'm not like angry or anything but I'm in so much pain how can I convince anyone someone that I need help and if you don't know that any tips to make it stop. I've taken like 1000 mlg of Ibuprofen and it has bearly cut the edge off so please tips god anything would help.

-rosy

I'm so sorry. :( I know how much joint pain can hurt.

I can't convince your father, but I wouldn't give up reaching out for help. Whether it's from him or not, you make sure they don't silence you. Don't give up until you see a doctor again. Describe your joint pain- how long it lasts. If it keeps you awake, if it interferes with your daily activities. Do not hold back. Tell them about how ibuprofen does not help with the pain. (Don't directly ask for pain meds because they will be suspicious that you are only there to get some strong prescription drugs). Instead ask if something can be done to prevent the root cause of the pain.

I'm not sure why your father would object to have testing done for you. It's honestly a pretty simple laboratory test. They'll draw your blood and they'll be able to check your white blood cell count, as well as a bunch of other things. If it's autoimmune, then your white blood cells will be abnormally high. And then they can begin treating you. Any good father would want the best for their child. Him refusing to take you is extremely negligent.

Some advice? let's see...

During my early stages, I took OTC joint pain reliever. It worked for a little but I got worse. Now, whenever I get a flare up I take ibuprofen or Tylenol (whatever I have, but NEVER both). CBD products also help. Lidocaine cream like Icy-Hot helped a great deal too. I'd also invest in some compression gloves or socks. Supposedly ice can help with inflammation but I find that heat works much better for me, so I have a heating pad. If you don't have one that's okay. Just take a rag or clean cloth and wet it under a faucet. Stick it in the microwave for a minute and you can use that. (Just make sure the cloth is damp. If you can, low impact exercise is good since it keeps your body from getting so stiff. For me sometimes I feel like being a blob because everything hurts to move, but I know if I don't at least walk around a bit, then I'm going to feel so much worse.

I know this advice is kind of weak-sauce, but I at least hope it'll do something to help. Again, I highly encourage you keep telling everyone you can that you're hurting. I'm hoping maybe you can get some laboratory work done and they can identify what exactly is going on with you. I would agree that it sounds like arthritis but it could also be something else. I'm not a doctor though, and I can't diagnose anybody. I'm not qualified in any way to make an accurate and informed statement about your own health. :'D

Best of luck. <3

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rat-in-a-cloak · 2 years

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7/13/22 - tw 3d (vent, diary)

down to 194.4.

2.8 lbs down in the last two days :)

yesterdays counts ended up as -

intake - 708

burned - 147

net - 561

it was overall an okay day. wish it was lower, but i always do. net is fine, but i wish the intake had been much less.

tbh, it's fuckin insane to not be at 198 anymore. like, i've been stuck there for months and months and months, never binging but never restricting enough to do anything other than maintain 197 - 198. and it's super fuckin nice to get some progress and some hope finally. losing weight actually seems possible again, now.

i'm hoping for 193.4, asap. i originally had my goal as to get there by the 19th, but the shock to my system of restricting after a long period of eating regularly is really helping me drop a fair amount quickly. im thankful for that. i hope it continues for quite a while.

anyway, i've taken a walk so far today (about 30 minutes, with a heat retaining outfit on - about 184 cals burned.) i really need to get my watch back :((((( i miss knowing with accuracy. i still have the watch, but the charger is missing, and it's a super specific, weird kind of charger.

i have to go swimming later at an event for my sister, so hopefully i can burn a bit more then. im also trying to fast until then (20 hrs). that ends at 5:15 pm. i might get a snack/small dinner with my family at the event, depending on how it plays out. not sure tbh. it starts at 6, so i dont care if i have to have a small dinner - im on thin ice, since my family all knows about my past eating disorder shit. so i do have to be careful. and i dont wanna lead myself into a binge by restricting super super heavily, abruptly.

in any case, things are going pretty well (in ed terms). things are...actually also going pretty well with mental health, tbh. restricting is actually a working coping mechanism again rn. ik it wont last, but it's nice at the moment.

just hoping i can keep this goin and get back down to at least 150 by the time i leave for fall semester. i cant keep walking around campus looking like this. i need to stay dedicated. what do i have to lose, anyway? the world is doomed, and none of my other coping mechanism are working. it's either being constantly sewerslidal or this. and i'll take this, any day.

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kalims · 2 years

Text

I just like really need to get this off my chest, so please. I don't care if you're just gonna read this but I'm so sick so I just wanna let it all out

ever since online started, my first thought was: yay! no more school. cause I thought it'd be easier for me. news flash, I was completely fucking wrong. for the last, what? two years my mental health has been crashing down, sometimes there's times where I think: oh. this is actually okay, I think I'm gonna be fine but then the next moment I'm bawling my eyes out about something I never wanted to live my life doing.

school sucks. it took me years, semester after semester to get used to it. my first year was horrible, I was behind everything. I ignored everything, I procrastinated my works and I thought when it was finally time to pass them: I'll never get past this. but im here, somehow I'm here and yet again I'm facing another wall. i feel hopeless again. and this year. it's the most hopeful I've been, I've been better. so much better than this is the first time I've ever been truly proud of myself. but now I don't know anymore.

my grades came and I'm ashamed to say they aren't high, funny how I'm insecure even about a few numbers thats supposed to decide my life course.

it's unhealthy but when I face things like this, the only thought I had was how much I wanted to die. im humiliated of myself because I'm so fucking pathetic, I can change my life right now but I can't and i don't even know why. it's funny cause i keep telling my freind that I'll kms but I'm still alive, cause im too young. and i don't know how to disappear. I'm trying to stay alive because for once, I want to be good in something that no one will ever surpass me in.

my mom's facing me right now, she's laughing. I can see that she's holding in her laughs at the face of my tears. she's comforting me but I can't take her words to heart. it goes out of one ear and out of the other.

and as much as I love everyone I've met with all my heart, my freinds, I love them so much and I appreciate them. but sometimes I feel so lonely because no one has ever said nice things to me, to validate my feelings, but I was okay because I was always used to being left with my thoughts and just passing one of it with a few jokes. I hate that no one was ever willing to ask me: "are you okay? do you wanna talk about it?" without me asking for it first. maybe some people did ask me about it, I cant remember. thank you for them.

even if I did receive one of them. I probably chose to brush it off. god I make no sense right now.

to the strangers, people, online and irl freinds I have. I'm so sick, my best freind. I always played as someone she could trust, I hate that I'm talking to her behind her back rn but I couldn't fucking careless right now because I can't tell if I'm just on my period. whenever I rant to her about topics I'm interested in (an anime, genshin, just topics I love) she always just sends one worded replies like "what" or "okay" one time she even told me that she couldn't give a shit about things she didn't know about. a few days ago, idk when. she asked to rant about her book, which of. I didn't even know about. I told her "sure. do you even have to ask?" and then I let her send me lengthy messages, I even made comments about it.

I'm so sick telling other people the exact same words that I want to hear.

okay let's put it simply. I'm the therapist friend, I always wanted to take psychology. I'm the girl that asks google on how to comfort someone so I can provide better comfort. I'm selfish for wanting to be comforted myself but who the hell am I anyways? I don't have a lot of irl freinds, sometimes in online I feel isolated cause I don't really ever fit in. I'm not pretty, I know I can be smart if I actually put in the effort and if I wasn't so lazy, I'm not rich, in fact my family isn't very wealthy. I look at other people and the only thing I can do is stare in envy because I can never get it.

I don't know how to make myself look good, I don't know shit about makeup, I don't even know anything about basic information I'm supposed to do. I know I won't able be ever let outside my house to hang out with friends because my parents are strict.

I hate that all my friends are better than me in one way or another. I always thought to myself: I want to live another life. because i was truly, upset, and unhappy in this one. no matter how many times I feel happy there's always gonna be something that's gonna drag me down again.

when I finally choose to open up to my parents, the thing they always do is laugh at me. they treat my words like it's a joke, maybe it's just a common reaction but I'm sensitive. that sounds oddly like a pick me but I want to be honest with my feelings without using jokes to dismiss it.

I love them, but I hate them because they always choose to try and force my feelings out of me. they threaten to take away my phone when I dont talk to them and it's exhausting to talk about something that I don't wanna talk about to someone like them.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being a big sister, I'm tired of being a daughter, I'm tired of being a freind, and I'm so fucking tired of living. it sucks.

I'm so tired of being yelled at because I didn't have the energy to finish a school work that I didn't want to do in the first place. I'm tired of being called that it's my fault for having a bad grade. I'm so fucking tired of putting up with everything. I'm so tired that I'm always the one being blamed when my brother does something wrong. I'm so tired of never really having anything for myself because if I ask for something it will only burden my family, so I'd be content with everything I have even if it isn't a lot as long as I'd be able to do the stuff I love.

"it will pass", I believe that saying but I just want it to end right now. I don't want it to pass. it sucks that I can't do anything right now. all I can do is drag myself to my desk and let a bunch of things confuse me. everything I do, it always ended in disaster. as much as i hate to say it, it really is all my fault.

my parents stay silent but I can't tell if their silence is worse then when they're scolding or screaming to me about something. I hate them so much because of the non-existent psychological pressure and torture they put me through. I lie to them, just so I can save myself from that again.

for now. I'll just force myself to not play anything until I finish every single fucking thing. I don't care if I end up staying up for days but who cares anyways? I just hoped my parents would've let me down slowly instead of blaming it all on me on one go. I sound so edgy rn. honestly there's a lot more but i don't have the energy anymore. this prolly means I won't post for a while. thanks. bye.

#—rosa talks

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silverrstarrr · 3 years

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Hello, today I am starting a Eren x black reader fanfic. And don't worry, yo girl over here is Nigerian😋😋 I do plan to put smut into it but I've never written smut before so please be easy on about that part! (The reader and Eren are both 18, their first year in University.)

Y/n L/n. Daniyah

Dylan. Jason

Yume

Normal Girl<3

Chapter one:

You love the way I pop my top. Or love how I lose my cool

Music was playing in the background on a loud Bluetooth speaker as you were preparing yourself for the day. Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you take off your bonnet, your long black box braids flowing down to your hips. Which cost a bitch. You were cleaning up your face and doing a causal face routine. You grabbed your makeup bag from under the bottom cabinet and began applying. Doing your eyebrows, eyeliner, eye shadow, lipgloss. Placing the brown foundation on your skin to cover up the bumps that were on your face, contour and more. You placed your false eyelashes on, ruffling up your hair a bit more. After a good 15 minutes, you were ready for the day.

Or love how I look at you. Say why?

The song Normal girl by SZA continued to play as you hummed to the rhythm of the song. Finishing up laying down your edges, you gave yourself a small smile in the mirror, feeling hella confident in your looks. Even though you were self conscious, you had this thing when you believed you that you're the most ugliest bitch in the world, next thing you're in love with yourself. It was currently 8 am in the morning, class was starting by 8:45.

You wanted to freshen up before you left for school. Your roommate you shared a dorm with was currently out grabbing you guys breakfast. You guys both settled for Dunkin' since their drink prices were reasonable and good unlike starbucks. You left the bathroom and grabbing your bonnet on the way out, switching the light off. You tossed the hair net on your bed as you went over to your dresser.

For your affection, tryna be down. No fighting and no stopping, Stick around

Oh shit, this was your part. You started to sing to yourself, not ACTUALLY singing it but you know, saying the lyrics.

"Wish I was the type of girl you take over to mama! The type of girl, I know my daddy, he'd be proud of. Yeah, be proud of."

You were singing your heart out at this point, who doesn't enjoy SZA?!

Not to mention, you relate so much to the song. Since you weren't America's "normal girl". You didn't have Blue eyes, blonde hair, or white pale skin. You were a beautiful brown skin woman, with black curly hair and brown eyes. Not to mention you had 4c hair. But it wasn't a bad thing in your opinion, you loved your hair because at the end of the day, you knew it was long ass hell.

A bzzt sound came from your dresser, instantly your grabbed your phone and unlocked it. It was your roommate, Yume. Yume was a pale skin girl, with brown eyes and long black hair. She was mixed. Her mother was Japanese and her dad was white. Yume was pretty outgoing and bold, a lot of people on campus knew who she was. She was a party person. She still managed to get decent grades by that, you meant that she crammed at the last second and got a C+ or above. Opening up messages, you read the ones from Yume.

colonizer but times 2🧑🏻‍🦲

Attachment: 1 photo

Look what I gooottt😩❗❗

y/n is funky🧑🏾‍🦱🦷❗

y/n liked a photo

Girl, hurry up and bring the food😭

over here posing with the dunkin' bag, goofy😭😭

colonizer but times 2🧑🏻‍🦲

I KNOW, IM ON MY WAY

I'm getting in the car now, see you later hot melatonin queen, wakanda queen 👸🏾 remember BLM✊🏻❤

y/n is funky🧑🏾‍🦱🦷❗

LMAAAOOO, I HATE YOUUU

GET TF ON DAMN COLONIZER 😕

You began laughing, using your hand to cover your mouth. You left messages and began scrolling through your other social media. First you check snapchat, it was a bunch of your friends and people who added you, leaving hearts under your post story. Since you posted a little selfie. You had on a cute graphic t shirt that hugged your upper body and showed your stomach. You didn't have a flat stomach but a little tummy. You had on faded blue jeans that rested at your hips. Even though you didn't have a flat stomach, your curvy body and a dump trunk made up for it. You had a few necklaces resting on your chest as well with a few rings on your finger.

I wish I was a normal girl, oh my. How do I be? How do I be a lady?

You clicked on instagram. You had a decent 10k followers. You were considered one of those pretty aesthetic pinterest girl, especially because of your outfit ideas. You look through your feed for a bit, then you came across yume's page. You scroll through her post and liked her recent. You checked the comments and all the guys fawning over her, it wasn't anything new but you didn't expect this one person. They left a black heart under their post and yume replied to it. You clicked on the profile just to check if she had a secret lover and she wasn't telling you. The username was "eyeager45". Surprisingly, he had 18k followers.

Normal girl, oh

I wish I was a normal girl.

I'll never be, no, never be uh

This shocked you, not his follower count but the fact your roomie got him commenting hearts?! Nah, you need to find out. You scrolled through his feed, looking at his photos, he didn't have a lot of post. But damn he was fine. He had long brown hair that rested on his shoulders, his eyes were a teal color but you were still stuck deciding if it was blue or green. Most of his photos, he had it tied into a sloppy bun, a few strands stood out flopping over his forehead. Without thinking, your dumbass liked his photo.

"I-" you said. Before you can unlike the photo, yume barges in with breakfast. It was already 8:20, classes were starting.

"There was traffic on the way and since it's rush hour, everyone and their crew was getting coffee."

Yume placed you guys drinks and food on a nearby round table. She quickly ran to the bathroom to pee, closing the door behind her. You placed your phone back on your dresser and went over to grab your drink. You took a sip, It seem like this time yume got your (f/d) correct and not just getting a random flavor she sees on the menu. Opening up the bag, you grab your (f/f) along with the other food that was apart of your meal. You went back over to the dresser to grab your phone, then back to the small table. You sat down on the small couch that was close to the table and started eating.

"Hey! Make sure you got your own shit and not eating mine by mistake" yume was washing her hands in the bathroom.

You nodded your head with a "mmm". You were digging in, eating fast because class was starting soon. Coming out of the bathroom, yume whistled looking at your outfit. She always gassed you up & was your number one fan.

"Look at you~ all cute and shit" she ruffled through the bag, grabbing her donut already taking a bite out of it then her breakfast sandwich as she sat down next to you. Both of you guys were munching as if the food was running away, like slow tf down. You took out your phone to take a quick insta video of your food and yume. She was taking a sip of her drink when you pointed your camera on her, she did a quick deuces, which made both of you laugh a bit. You quickly added it to your story and tagged her. You went back and forth with your drink and food, until it was finish. You still had a some coffee left but the food? Gone.

You and yume shared an apartment together. It was close to the campus and it was cheaper. Dorms costed a load for no reason. Most of the time they had no kitchen and barley any room other than for the beds. You met yume during high-school but you guys weren't that close but still kept in touch. Summer break came around and you guys so happened to have the same job. It was the best summer of your life, you were really greatful for meeting yume. She was also the first to offer you to share an apartment together since you both were attending the same university.

Both of guys were majoring in different things but that was fine. Yume was planning on becoming a nurse while you were in the cosmetic industry. It's been a dream ever since you were young. Grabbing your mother's makeup bag and just smearing it all over your face by the age of twelve. You remember the first time you did your makeup and showed your mom.

She laughed so hard and took you into the bathroom to fix it up. Slowly you started getting better and better at makeup. You had your own YouTube channel by the time but it wasn't a lot of subscribers, about 3k. Now you were 19 and had a 500k subscribers who supported you all the way. Being in the beauty industry on YouTube was a hassel because there was always drama here and there but you were never included. More like a "I just sit back and observe" type shit.

The apartment you guys shared was pretty big. You had your own room and bathroom, the same with yume. Yume parents were wealthy since her mom was a dentist and her dad was a doctor. Yume never made any real friends. They always ended up leeching off of her and her money, one of the main reason she kept distance from you and others during high school but the summer brought you guys together.

It was the beginning of the first semester, you had your first class today. You were excited but that didn't stop the anxiety creeping up your spine. What if you didn't make a good expression, or did some stupid shit and fell.

"Hellllooooo, y/n. You good?"

yume was waving her hand in your face. She was laughing at bit because of your face expression while you were in la-la-land.

You nudged her lightly and giggled back.

"Stoop, leave me alone. I'm just nervous about my first day"

Yume grabbed the empty bags and wrappers that were on the table, walking to the kitchen to threw them away. She had on a cute oversized black sweatshirt with a white collar. It went well with her white tennis skirt and beige color platforms. Yume was 5'6 but looked 5'7. She was really pretty in your opinion. It was surprising she didn't have a boyfriend.

"Girl pleaseee, you'll be fine. You're pretty and you have a cute laugh—who wouldn't fall for you?" Yume continued cheesying. She went over to the doorsteps and grabbed a pair of pair of black air Jordan 1 retros(the high ones). She walked back over and tossed them on the ground next to you.

"You aren't wrong about that...but you know I literally don't know what to say after 'hi'. I don't know how people do it, it gets so awkward after that point."

"Shit...you're right...well since we're in college now, we can ask others about their majors and stuff but I rather not hear about a guy talking about how much he likes the human body system."

Loosing up the laces, you slip your foot in and began tying the strings—you repeated the same process with the other foot. You grabbed your coffee and did a quick stretch before heading over to your dresser. You picked up your phone and keys, your bag was next to the door, you'll grab on your way out.

Yume grabbed her jacket and you did the same.

"How many people do you think we'll be in my class?" She asked

Since she was majoring in nursing. You titled your head up and started to think.

"Maybe around 335 people."

You zipped up your jacket and placed your phone in the pocket. Opening up your airpods, you placed one in your ear.

"Pssshh, that's an underestimate. I think around 400 or more"

Yume opens the door, tossing her bag over her shoulder— you grabbed yours also. Stepping out the apartment, she stood by the side as you locked the door. You pulled your phone out and played your playlist. It was time to start the day.

pt 2

#x reader #attack on titan #eren headcanons #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #anime #eren yeager #eren x black reader #x black reader #aot x black reader #eren jeager x reader #eren aot #eren yeager x y/n

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genshin-obsessed · 2 years

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POCKET!!! I have no idea if you play twisted wonderland or not cause I kinda forgot, but I have exciting news!! I got both of Azul's SR cards in 48 pulls and I'm so happy!! I now have his dorm uniform and beans camo card!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ Anyway, how have you been? I'm currently working on another presentation project, but this one is solo. I'm pretty nervous, but apparently I sound confident when I talk so that gives me a bit of comfort. I'll be presenting in about a month, so I still have time. Unfortunately that's all they really gave us tho... ( ･ั﹏･ั) But I'm sure it'll be fine! Also, I made an omelette today and it actually didn't fall apart on me, so that was pretty exciting! ( ╹▽╹ ) Hope you're doing well Pocket!

- resolve, who DEFINITELY doesn't have presentation anxiety noooo never what're you talking about hahahahahahaha

i do play but not as much since im quite busy and its just not all that interesting to me o: but im almost done with the first chapter

but yay for you!!! o: oh i totally get how that feels ;w; when do you present or have you already presented? at this point in my speech class, the thing we stress about more is the actual content of our speech rather than giving it. We have no time to be anxious about public speaking cuz we're just so busy :')

we all got PSA (public speaking anxiety). Actually, my teaching speech earlier this semester was on PSA. just know that it's completely normal, everyone experiences some symptoms of PSA and the best thing you can do is try to calm yourself before the speech.

Take deep breaths, make sure you have your notecards ready (always take notecards for a good, successful speech), and remember everyone gets nervous. ALWAYS PRACTICE YOUR SPEECHES BEFOREHAND. The key to successful speeches is being able to give them extemporaneously which means you know what you're gonna say but you don't read it off like a script. Instead, you have notecards with you that have important keywords to remind you of what you're gonna say. That's where the practice your speech beforehand comes in.

during your speech, focus on your message. don't worry about what others are thinking and just read the words on your notecards/slides (presentation slides work GREAT as notecards. put the important words down then elaborate which makes you look knowledgeable in the subject).

last but not least, after you've given your speech, congratulate yourself on finishing it. Focus on the good things not the bad. take deep breaths and drink some water to calm any shaking or anxiety you still feel.

i can help with the notecards or whatever you'll need if you want some help ^w^ i didnt take a speech class for nothing xD

#🌸─ pocket tries #⊱ ─ resolve #this is a long response #ik lmao #but i wasnt gonna let you crash and burn >:0 #we dont crash and burn here #unless you already gave your speech #in which case im useless :')

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tangerinegod · 4 years

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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous

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apathycarestostudy · 4 years

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Hey there! Ive been following your blog for some time now and i think its time for some advice. So, im having my exams this and the following week. The things is, due to the whole quarantine stuff, those exams Last about 4-5 or even 24 hours, so I don't really see the point on memorizing the whole stuff. Ive tried saying to myself that "sooner or later i'll be needing th info", but really, i know that it's not the case. do you know any wya to make my dumb ass to get to work?

Hello hello! Thanks for following, I’m glad I can help! This is pretty opportune, since I was just told that one of my course’s final exam is going to be an open book 24 hour long ‘exam’. It’s one of those core courses for chemical engineering, and I was just planning on grinding this week, but as soon as they announced that, I celebrated and started listing all the reasons why I don’t need to study anymore:

- I’m drowning in assignments they’ve been giving us to compensate for this special time.

- I have other, much harder courses I haven’t touched since the start of the semester. I can’t afford to waste time on this.

- It’s open book ??? 24 hours ?? It’s like homework with a bigger consequence.

- I’m lazy.

- I can always brush up on it some other time, in the far future.

- I’ll survive - I’m honestly just trying to get through this semester as smoothly as I can.

But I know, deep down, that I’m just trying to convince myself why it’s okay to let it hang. Truly, the only reason why I’m letting it go is I’m lazy. I’m not spending every waking hour just tirelessly studying or doing something productive or hell, even doing something. I’m letting the current take me wherever. Maybe you’re feeling the same. It doesn’t help when our teachers / professors aren’t engaging as well, or like I’ve mentioned, being given shit to do in order to keep us busy. Since we feel like we’re doing more than we should, we don’t need to put in effort for things that don’t breed tangible consequence.

So. Now what?

We recall why we’re here. If you’re not sure, pull out a piece of paper and write down why are you studying. Why are you taking this course. Why are you going to school (from home). What is your goal. Why do you even care?

After you’ve established your vision, you gotta list what’s stopping you. I take back what I said up there - yes I can be lazy, but I’m also a chronic worrier with severe impostor syndrome. I can list at least ten reasons why I’m behind and failing already, even though I’m caught up on more than half of my courses and I have a decent grasp on my assignments. I’m the type to achieve results as soon as I set my mind on it, because my worrying causes me to overthink, but I won’t give myself even a second to congratulate or reward myself - I’ll just start rattling off all the things I’m failing at. That’s my issue. My over thinking is hindering me.

I can’t speak for your hindrance because you haven’t really mentioned it, but I suggest you fine tune this coming advice for people like me and you’re basically there. For worriers, you have to (again) bust out a pen and paper and list off all the things that are ‘going wrong’, i.e. what’s plaguing you, and then give yourself a moment before you read through it. Now, go through each one and try to debunk it with valid reasoning and let that fester in your thoughts for a moment before moving on to the next. I highlight valid reasoning because you just can’t go “NO U” to your worries - you gotta address them.

Now that we have our vision and our hindrance, time to get to cracking. Also, pro tip, keep your sheets close by. Whenever you catch yourself slipping, read your vision sheet, and if you start acting up, update your hindrance sheet. If you journal, you can keep it in there.

Moving back to the ask - my best advice to your dumb ass and my dumb ass is be 100% honest with yourself. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being detrimental and 1 being practice questions, how important is this course? By importance, consider if it’ll affect your performance somewhere in the future through actual application, or by being a starting point for another course. There’s nothing worse than starting a new course with a motivated disposition only to realize that it jumps off from a course you know jack about. Now you have to waste time re-learning the old shit and you hate the new shit. So be honest. For me, that open book 24 hour ‘exam’ is a 6, and only because I’m in my sixth semester and so my last year’ll be research projects / thesis and industrial visits. Maybe a course or three that’re open book. It’s an important course, but it won’t affect me until laaaater.

Now, if all this hasn’t pushed you enough to do something, then do the bare minimum. Do enough that’ll satisfy you. It can be only memorizing the review and skimming through the rest, which is what I’m doing, instead of going all out and making study notes and summaries and shit. Because it’s hard not going to classes and expecting top performance, but you can do it. In the end, you’re putting in time and money for this shit, so remember that. You’re paying to sit around and avoid your responsibilities. You’re paying to take this opportunity for granted. You’re paying to be lax with your decisions. You’re paying for just existing. Is it fun living off the backs of people paying meaningful shit for you to continue to pay to do nothing?

I know it’s harsh, and it can be hard, but you got a whole day. If it’s too overwhelming, take it one day at a time. Prove that you’re paying for it yourself to yourself, if anything.

(I went in all of a sudden, sorry about that. I’m in your position so I went off like I’d go off with myself, but I hope this helped in some way.)

I’m open to you - or anybody - messaging me if you wanna talk. I like talking to people more than talking at them lol. Stay safe, and let’s make the most out of this special time!

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