#im posting bc i cant seem to draw anything...
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70% of my trigun thoughts are abt how plants (independent and dependant) work and what they symbolize and their relationships with other characters and the world and stuff and the implications of independent plants coming with the earth forces and what it says about how earth has progressed since SEEDS left the planet, 20% of my thoughts are "hope those guys (meryl milly vash livio ww knives) are having fun" and 10% is rotating trimax Rem Saverem around in my head at all times
#i think abt rem a lot for a character that is like important but also isnt materially present in the story much#like idk her relationship with grief and regret and the idea of her looking at the shambles of her life and having to say#'well at least i can start over since theres nothing left for me' multiple times (after alex dies and she joins seeds#and after failing to keep tesla alive and getting a 'second chance' with vash and knives) idk its just so fascinating to me#and her idea of a blank ticket to the future and what it means in terms of how vash shapes his worldview in trimax#where it seems to be about how. death stops all future potential of a person. if they die they can never get better they dont learn#they cant change and experience consequence#like smth i find fascinating in trimax is that vash doesnt kill people but he will let somebody that person has hurt punch them in the face#and he thanks ww for killing to save the colony that one time. hes not opposed to killing/consequence entirely#i think it comes down a lot to how rem behaved in the aftermath of him finding out about tesla. how the potential for things to get better#would have died with him or rem and it would have just stayed horrible#idk idk im Rambling im turing things around in my brain#also man my main complaint with the manga is i wish it focused on the dependant plants more. they clearly experienced a big emotional#struggle esp in the final volumes and i wish we got to see more of it#but also i just like the wacky small town hijinks esp in the 98 anime i love when the main cast is just goofin around. i think they should#get to goof more#trigun#.txt#Dont Look At This Post Man its EMBARRASSING nobody should let me talk abt anything#the secret special bonus tjoughts are about chronica bc she fascinates me but i cant draw her good the way i can draw meryl and rem :(
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we already know that theres no need to stick to annabeth's book description anyway, since shes described as having "honey" blonde hair but people have been drawing her with pale and desaturated sort of... tropical sand blonde hair for years, because it looks better next to grey (eyes) and dark blue (hat) and bronze (armor). so its really not a problem to have her not be blonde at all
#its cool when the tv show gives her black hair but not when the movies gave her brown hair because:#in the movies it genuinely felt like 'we dont give a shit about your character and her motivations. heres a YA female love interest'#and in the tv show its like 'remember how in 2006 people thought blondes couldnt be smart? well heres annabeth. she actually#acts like annabeth! and shes a black girl which people seem to think cant be smart. get it?'#anyway im not actually trying to say anything in this post (thus not putting it in the tags) i just wanted to talk abt how artists have#been deliberately drawing her hair 'inaccurately' for years bc it looked better :3
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𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑬𝒀𝑬𝑺 (𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)
02: somebody I used to know.
MASTERLIST.
january 1st, 2018.
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suguru saved me from the awkward silence and wiggly eyebrows from satoru. "y/n! come help me set up the table, please!" "coming!" i bolted out of there. phew, at least im free from embarrassment now. . once i got in the kitchen, yuji and nobara were arguing about who was going to eat the most food. suguru handed me the utensils that went on the table. i realized hadn't talked to him since i got home. he gently patted my head instead of ruffling my hair like satoru. "how was your visit to the ice rink?" he asked, gently smiling at me. "It was good, until i hit my head and fell on my butt." suguru chuckled at my defeated tone. i started to set the table, placing the chopsticks, spoons, etc in front of every seat. i watch as yuji and nobara approach him, talking to him comfortably. i didnt know they were friends with megumi. he seems like the closed off type, especially now.
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soon, shoko arrives and everyone eats. i have to admit, my brother sure can cook. im starting to think hes like satoru's malewife..anyways, after everyone finished eating, we had a drawing, and whoever drew the short stick had to wash dishes while everyone else got to play uno. God was NOT favoring me today. there were two short sticks, and guess who got them! me and megumi. FREAKING MEGUMI. you know what? it cant get more awkward than this.... right?
wrong.
here, we stood right beside each other, shoulder touching shoulder, leg touching leg. i wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. the worst part was, he wasn’t even bothered by it! he didn’t even acknowledge it! surely, if i was him, i’d at least be stealing glances! oh, well, maybe he isnt that kind of guy. he was never interested in stuff like that. the two of us stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. the entire time, i was wondering how to start a conversation and barely got anything done! megumi had done most of it. now he probably thinks im useless! he’ll never associate himself with someone so unhelpful. “so,” i started, lips trembling. he glances at me. how come his eyelashes are so long? does he use mascara? “how..how have you b-been lately?” i wanted to curse myself. who the hell stutters nowadays!? “alright. what about you?” i could feel my shoulders tensing. i had heard his voice earlier, but now, im really paying attention to it. just thinking about it makes my stomach do axles. “good, actually.” i smiled, desperate to keep myself from squealing. minutes past, he hasnt said anything after that. okay, you dont wanna talk to me, cool. fine. whatever. (squealing) part of me wanted yuji and nobara to come in and start being annoying to break the ice. hell, maybe even satoru would do. after what seemed like decades, we finally finished washing the dishes. i sighed in relief, but i couldnt have a moment of grace before my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. i felt a napkin on my cheek, wiping soap off my face. “sorry,” he muttered. kill. me. please. “you had soap on your face.” i laughed awkwardly while he just looked at me, “really? i-uhm, i didn’t know! thanks.” what the hell, y/n?? what is your problem??
yuji and nobara ran towards me and megumi, bombarding us with a fury of words i didnt understand. something along the lines of, “guess what?? i won against mr. gojo!” “no, kugisaki cheated!” “the hell? i didnt cheat! all of you just suck!” “cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!” “grow up!” megumi frowned at their antics. “idiots” he muttered.
an: hey guys sorry for the short chapter😔i kinda rushed bc i have to gts early bc i have school tmrw. but i will be posting tomorrow or the day after that! it normally takes me two days (4 hours total) to write this much anyway
TAGLIST: @fillmeup6969 @morgyyyyy @kasumitenbaz (OPEN)
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nobara kugisaki#yuji itadori#fushiguro x reader
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hi would u be willing to talk more ab ur belcher hcs that theyre all schizoaffective? :]
i can defs try! i cant promise i have really anything "smart" or insightful to say, cuz my husband and i just kinda draw from our own experiences :o
(if u are reading this and dont know what schizoaffective disorder is, im writing this w/ the definition of "a combination of schizophrenic symptoms and mood disorder symptoms like major depressive and bipolar disorder")
bob has felt the most schiz to us from the start, he's got his voices, which feel way more like he's acting as a mouthpiece for the objects he's talking to, rather than him just doing a bit. he knows its not "real" but also. it is to him. (i think hes also had some? hallucinations? but most are drug or stress induced and he also has a lot of cartoon dream sequences so...?) he struggles with paranoia and anxiety, and he's had pretty manic and depressive episodes in the show. i think he tries his best to stay grounded and self-aware with his delusions. he's very skeptical, and gets really irritated by misinformation. (probs also an affect of his autism tbh)
we also have a hc that he's more irritable and negative in the early seasons bc he's on meds that arent a good fit for him. (we dont really have meds hcs other than that. they might not be able to afford them)
linda's symptoms arent as obvious beyond her delusions like the raccoons and the cemetery stuff, but i think she's taught herself to suppress her issues so she could better support gayle who had more disruptive ones. her parents seem like the "stop being mentally ill its annoying" types. she has her own instances of paranoia and anxiety, but she mostly tries to smother and ignore anything negative she feels. VERY manic and impulsive tho. i think she also has some hallucinations in show but im drawing blanks on specifics.....
i would personally say tina is pretty depressive, but she's good at trying to cope in (mostly) healthy ways. her family is a good support system for her! she does have the most instances of visual hallucinations that arent cartoon bits (she seems to have them a lot when shes feeling guilty...) her anxiety and paranoia reminds me a lot of bob but also of gayle. they have similar outburts
gene has the least examples that i can think of.... i think he considers ken to be pretend and is just joking about him being real bc it annoys bob (compared to tina who thinks her horse Jericho is maybe...a little real) but i think he has some other hallucinations tht arent like that. hes surprisingly anti-social! he definitely often views himself as superior to the kids he knows. gets that from his dad lol. and his mania and impulsiveness are very much like linda :) he doesnt have depressive episodes as much as the others, but they hit him really hard :(
and louise! shes paranoid and has lots of aggression issues! to me she is also very depressed. (the puppet ep is esp relatable to me lol........) and she's VERY manic in the ambergris ep! i think she also has a couple instances of voices similar to bob's? but its kinda hard to tell the difference when shes still a kid who plays pretend with her toys. her talking to the taffy dummy feels more like what bob does tho.
i hope? thats the kind of hcs you were talking about? ive been trying to think of the right words for like 3 hours now. im very bad with words and so much of this stuff can also be attributed to other brain stuff, and one person can have a lot going on in one brain! so i hope i dont upset anyone with this post. thank u for ur time :)
#also gotta remember that its a Silly Jokes Cartoon so i dont really....think most of this is intentional#bob's burgers#hope this isnt. illegible word salad also. sorry......
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Replies
Also shorter ones today… mostly related to our previous replies and posts!
Anonymous asked:
After seeing Eel Floyd with Riddle
AND THOSE BITE MARKS 👀👀👀👀
I gotta know -
Did Floyd slip and slide in Riddle?
Or
Also
Did Riddle magically goldfish form and the two had merman sex???
Honestly I wasn’t thinking about Riddle also becoming a merman, but they absolutely have to have merman sex at some point, otherwise it just isn’t fair (to me) lol
And to answer your first question, yes, there might have been some slipping and sliding in Riddle involved~
Anonymous asked:
re: the gaslighting Jade ask. I randomly stumbled on your blog from other ones, and I literally blocked you because shroudcest triggers me. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own safety. As long as it’s properly marked for (which yours clearly is since I blocked you the second I made a tumblr), really all we can do is filter the things that hurt us out.
(im agreeing with you btw. draw what you want i cant stop you. just feel like i in particular make a point worth mentioning from seeing that. you can answer this or not bc obviously i probably wont see it anyway)
Anon! Whether you see this reply or not, thank you very much for writing this despite having us blocked lol
You really are making a good point, and I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and avoiding uncomfortable stuff. I really encourage it. Thank you for understanding and for approaching this issue with respect.
Have a good day.
Anonymous asked:
Gaslighting IS Jade’s love language. Also mushrooms.
Facts, Anon <3 He doesn’t waste his gaslighting and mushrooms on those he doesn’t find entertaining love!
Anonymous asked:
Honestly I can totally see Cater as the kind of guy that now and then buys a random manga just because the cover looks aesthetically pleasing, although if they are BL they are probably more oriented towards shonen-ai than explicit content. But also he wouldn't really read them because he finds the stories and characters a bit ridiculous (is he a bitter anti-romantic? or maybe his sisters used to collect shojo manga and he associates the love story genre with them?). I bet when he had roommates he had fun leaving one of his manga lying around, just to see people's reaction and go "aw, shoot, you saw it? that's sooo embarassing..." or something like that
To be honest, I can see that too. Cater seems like someone who isn’t all that into anime and manga, but is aware of it enough to recognise that the cover is pretty and that there is something gay inside (he might figure out the latter thing later as he looks inside the book lol). His sisters really could be into it though, so I can see him having certain associations.
lol Cater’s roommates “finding” his manga though… Don’t act so coy, Cater 😭
Anonymous asked:
Goddammit! Idia, you cannot escape me for long, one way or another, your chest will be licked! *shakes fist at the sky*
I love how this is turning into a Looney Tunes cartoon…
Anonymous asked:
Idia doesn’t have nipples. He accidentally shaved them off. Tragic 😔 L in the chat for his nipples.
Damn. I’m afraid I have bad news for the previous Anon.
Anonymous asked:
Do you have any HCs for Neige and/or Chenya?
We do have HCs about Neige/Vil and Chenya/Riddle (1,2)!
Anonymous asked:
It is I, 🐩 anon,
So I got a friend into twst and tell me why her favorite character is goddamn Crowley? I'm currently trying to convert her to Divus supremacy. Enough about this. Let me ask my silly little question.
Is there anything about TWST's story plot that you dislike or wished it was worked on more? Or character you wish were more fleshed out?
Your friend has quite the taste… She is probably a genius of sorts 😔🙏
I feel like I was pretty vocal about it, so I am sorry for talking about it again, but I really didn’t enjoy how Ch2 was handled and Leona in general, to be honest. I wrote a post about my grievances a whole year ago, but my stance didn’t really change. We’ve rewatched the majority of the main story since then, and I thought that maybe with fresh minds and fresh eyes we would enjoy Leona at least to some degree, but unfortunately it didn’t really help. The events don’t really help either…
There might be some other things, but this is the one I think about every time when we talk about the flaws of TWST writing.
Anonymous asked:
what is your notp?
A bunch of Leona ships come to mind, i.e. Leona/Malleus, Leona/Vil, Leona/Idia 🤔 But also a bunch of Trey ships, like Trey/Jade or Rook/Trey…
Anonymous asked:
if you had to go on a date with one of the twst boys who are you picking? i'm picking idia
Idia is a great option, Anon; he would be so uncomfortable and awkward, getting nervous about the smallest inconveniences and whispering “thank god” every time you don’t force him to do something… I would pick him to, but my second option would be Jamil. I think he’s pretty chill.
Katsu would've picked Jade because of course, this is the best pick.
Anonymous asked:
any old fandoms that you feel out of love with?
Can’t think of any, Anon… I feel like we never fall completely out of love with anything, just move on, but there is always an opportunity that we’ll come back at some point. Things like Homestuck are still on our minds constantly lol
There are some titles that we kind of started watching, but then stopped because it wasn’t fully out yet, and since then we kind of lost interest for this thing. And with some of these titles it’s very unlikely that we’ll ever go back, but it’s never 1000% impossible. But then again, it’s not like we loved these titles…
Anonymous asked:
Funfact: The crowley that crowley is named after used to perform sex based magic with men
Damn I hope this is what our Crowley also does. This is his dark secret that is very poorly hidden
Anonymous asked:
I think Riddle would be a really good teacher's pet
Oh he would <3 He is a teacher’s pet.
Ironically, I feel like this makes him a bit boring for Crewel…although it depends…🤔
Anonymous asked:
What is a ship you rarely draw but you love
I don’t draw any of them enough, I love them all! Waaaaah :(
I feel like I don’t draw Sebek/Silver nearly enough for how much we love them, Rook/Epel is also a rare one but we love it, Sebek/Idia could use more love, anything with Jamil too…
Anonymous asked:
Please share with us a full list of the preference of the TWST boys? Top or bottom? I typed up a list for you to use!
Anon, we have a list in our pinned post! But since you’ve typed up a list, I’ll go through the list again :) We also have a post in which we explain our reasoning for each choice, so you can read it too if you’re interested.
Oh! And if you meant some other types of preferences, please let me know. In that case though, we have a list of the boys’ kinks, which isn’t the same thing, but pretty close; so you can read this one too if you want <3
Riddle – bottom
Ace – top
Deuce – bottom
Trey – top
Cater – top
Leona – bottom
Ruggie – top
Jack - top
Azul – top
Floyd – top
Jade – top
Kalim – top
Jamil – bottom
Vil – bottom
Rook – top
Epel – bottom
Idia – bottom
Ortho – top
Malleus– bottom
Sebek – top
Lilia – top
Silver– bottom
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just a bit of a rant about being a fan i guess
the idea for my artbook was smth i put together as long ago as 2018 and actually back then it was intended to be sort of my departure from the FE fandom as a lot of ppl i’d known since the start of the fates fandom in 2016 were also moving on and i wasn’t having the best time in the fandom. In true cringe comedy, I’m still here though, and superbright is becoming a real thing and I’ve thought a lot about it serving its original intended purpose: my last hurrah in this fandom.
truth is, i still love leokumi. i still have comic ideas and AUs and art concepts i wasnt originally skilled enough to do before but could now. i also rly enjoyed engage and i want to draw more fanwork for it too. and i wish this felt like enough i guess? that i love smth and want to draw it? because it was enough for a long while? but now im just lost because honestly ive had a miserable time in this fandom and all that misery is catching up to me. ive probably gotten worse as a person thanks to fire emblem fandom because i used to actually tweet on main and try to make friends and now all i’m capable of doing is hiding and keeping things to myself. i cant make connections and i can only be quiet because i led myself to believe that this was the only way to protect myself from everyone else (and it rly never worked bc id still regularly get stupid and rude comments on my posts). i cant bring myself to bug people who arent into my ships with my ship content either so i just have to. exist with them i guess. exist quietly. churn out art once in a while i guess. simply being and not much else.
i want to try to fix this though like. should i take a break? let everyone forget i existed? should i remake my accounts and take the gamble that a lot of my “mutuals-but-not-really-friends-yet-im-trying-tho” won’t follow me to my new account? what do i do with any art i make in the meantime since art is my main hobby and theres no way im not drawing? do i try to leave the fandom even though all of this could happen all over again somewhere else? what would you do in this situation? i cant seem to figure anything out besides that im miserable and i think it sucks that this is the result of what should have been 7 years of my love and dedication for a video game.
anyway this isnt smth i can burden an individual with so its typed out here to burden everyone equally. did anyone else read the alcry*t forging bonds where leo says he can use brynhildr to turn lcryst to slime. i wish i were reduced to slime. no more neck pain on account of having no neck and i would be cute like those dragon quest guys
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ii au rambling ??
I dont have much art to offer lately beyond the stuff i mass dumped on here bc im burnt out when it comes to drawing but i do have plenty of aus im writing stuff for over on ao3 & i havent written much for this one but i wanna yap abt my animal office au bc its silly.
so like theyre furries right. Its a lot of fun thinking abt what animal each character would be n such & even tho not a lot of the cast r important w/ this story bc its mephone4 & mephoj centered i still give it a good amount of thought bc its also just silly to make characters into animals.
fav thing is turning mephone into a racoon bc i cant see him as anything else [other than possibly a badger, but racoon just makes perfect sense to me considering he's. him] & 4s is just. a cat. theyre brothers in this au still, just different animal species [theyre still robots / androids created by cobs, who's a wolf. listen, it makes so much sense to me i have such a clear vision even if something else would probably fit him better i think it works so well for him].
Its just so fun researching animal stuff too & learning behavior stuff to keep track of for each animal & how that would influence how each character were to act in the scenarios ill be putting them in, in this fic once i get around to writing it. [ill be working on it full time once im done w/ my current fic & brainrot au; the neighbor next door (very creatively labled the neighbor au super groundbreaking i know)]
but anyways idk i wanna post on here more & rambles seem like theyd be a good outlet for that even if ppl dont rlly care much. its just fun.
[also for anyone who's read this far & doesn't know me my ao3 is Cosmo_Writes, & if you're interested in MePhone centered writing / or the ship mephoj then my works might be worth checking out bc thats like 90% of what i like to write :]
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I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).
Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.
I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.
Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.
Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.
My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.
My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.
Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.
I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.
While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.
With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.
Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.
I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble
Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?
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how did you get into art? or is it just something youve always done? youre so good and it makes me want to try drawing again (even tho i am not good (which im not mad at, we all have our strengths!))
Thank you!!! I dont think im any good either, i look at my old art and i cringe and then i wonder how much i will hate my current art one day. I think, finally, in my *thirties* im starting to accept that this feeling will never go away and i cant let it shame me out of drawing. (also pls dont let my feelings about it stop anyone from reblogging or liking my old art on here! I really enjoy that as painful as it is. Someone liked one of my steve aoki sketches from like 2018 the other day and i got sO EXCTIted like omg that drawing is terrible but also someone liked my steve aoki art! (a rarity)). If you look through my wip tag: freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/tagged/wip there should be lots of process stuff and then one post where i talk about the old art i have on here. Im determined to keep everything up no matter how much i hate it bc i know how much it means to me to see more experienced artists' old works. It made the leap from scribbles to 'oh that actually looks like what i was trying for' seem less impossible.
Anyway if you want to see the OLDEST art on here go into the archive and my very first post is a sketch of batman :P
My dad -bless his soul- has only ever kept one drawing of mine: a drawing contest entry from when i was like 4 yrs old. It was of Putt-Putt (from Putt Putt's Parade) and i won, lol. This was back when art was 'aw so cute' and not 'you're fucking ruining your engineering career'. My dad also kept putting me in art classes so he really only has himself to blame for how things turned out. for art internet stuff? I was really REALLY into neop*ets - I idolized artists like Quest, Sithel, IndigoKitten, all those old comics artists in The Aisha Pack. I was also obsessed with the Legend of Zelda drawing style - it was kind of a combo of d*sney and anime - big eyes and crazy flowing hair but with that 3D illusion of life. Aaaaand then there was Arc*hie Comics. I did more fanart of those characters than anything else back then. And lastly D*sney of course. I desperately wanted to be walt for years until i grew up enough to realize that one man didnt draw an entire 2hr full length feature. I was crushed by this revelation, naturally.
And I know most artists are like ‘yeah i was a horse girl when i was in middle school’. But that wasn't me. I was obsessed with fir trees instead. just constant drawings of fir trees. I was really proud when i leveled up and learned how to draw fir trees in SNOW, this was the highlight of my middle school drawing career. I dunno, i was a weird kid. Growing up in the pacific northwest it was either fir trees or salmon i guess.
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okay checklist of what i cant seem to do bc i need rest from it
crochet. did a fuckton on a trip earlier this spring and now cant seem to pick up the hook. my hands needed two weeks of rest after all that
writing prose. wrote an entire first draft of a novel. edited a lyric essay for publication. well. guess i need a break.
writing poetry. have revised four poems to send out for publication with lit mags. have revised my latest manuscript now EIGHT times, 7 on my own and once with the publisher. and just approved the grammatical edits. waiting two more days to scour the manuscript for anything to adjust but. it's basically ready to send in for formatting to the developmental editor. i think im in a period of dormancy for writing poetry until i overcome a skill-hump and am able to write better (being able to implement and act preemptively on what i've noticed i need to do to improve). that's happened before.
listening to audiobooks. i cant focus on anything! i'll wait a few more days to try an audiobook again, maybe it's just once of those periods where i need to listen to music only.
podcasts. well. cant focus on those either.
reading poetry. see above.
reading prose. i havent been able to sit down and read prose all the way through since i quit cigarettes :)))))) i can barely manage a short story once every month :))))))))) can barely even manage an article or longpost on tumblr :)))))))))))
things i am left with to do.
draw digitally. am restricted by my hands to 40min-1hr
paint - which i cant seem to make myself do :) i'll try after this post. i have to sketch out what im planning on doing on the canvas but. i have an idea.
play games. am restricted by my hands to 2 hrs. am mentally exhausted by them after 1.5 hours.
learn ableton. have no idea how mentally exhausting it'll be but :))) we shall see.
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Aaahhh 💖 I love youuu 💖 how have you been doing? How's drawing and writing going? Did I miss any new updates btw? 😭
lil big life update ig🙃
WRITER LIFE:
i released Strawberry Kisses which is a cute yoongi fic. some mutual masturbation and miscommunication trope👀 its my most liked fic atm. theres even a drabble for this couple.
i’ve been working on a hobi period sex fic thats already 13k for the 1st part, so its a long series🌚
thinking about doing a drug dealer hobi x stripper reader wip. i already have too many wips. and i wanted to do another hopekook series🤦🏽♀️
also working on illumi zoldyck fic after starting a rewatch of hxh (1 of my fav animes). two in the works: one with just illumi and another with illumi/machi/shizuku/reader😭 a fourple?
thinking about BTS blog hiatus so i can focus on KCG bc ppl are asking about my All of Us Are Dead fic. so i need to write the second chapter to that.
[more personal below | tw: race relations]
MINOR PERSONAL LIFE:
need to practice driving😐 my bitch ass is 20yrs and cant drive. im a lil scared no lie bcuz memphis drivers are wild😭 i gotta get my license by november or i have to take the permit test over again😰
im finally starting to do technical labs for biotech/forensics🎉 one step closer to my internship!
a little behind on criminal investigation😞
im a little scared how chemistry 2 is gonna go this year. i dont know whats going on😦 im so lost😭
i started my laptop but never opened clip studio😭 i really wanna draw hobi tho. and i need to make stuff for my shop that i really wanna open. i need motivation😞
thinking about learning to code😭 it seems easy; just a lot of words. i wanna design websites. maybe some BT21 themed. now javascript kinda scares me.
MAJOR PERSONAL LIFE:
overall im doing aight so far this year. could be better i think
ive only cried twice this month😀 having some self-image/identity issues and managing to keep my sanity in check with Black History Month after that police brutality murder here in memphis and Ron Desantis bullying the College Board into turning AP Black History into a whitewashed history and Black Conservatism. i feel too hyperaware of the fuckery that is america. it feels like me and every other black person are the only ones really seeing this shit. its tiring and makes me harbor a different kind of hate in my heart for the concept of whiteness that i didnt even know was there. its somewhat hard to see people’s humanity or feel safe around them. i hate to even say this, but since something major happened january, maybe nothing will happen this summer unlike May 2020. im trying to take it one day at a time tho... hehe
you probably weren’t expecting all that but i figured id turn this into a general post😭 sorry if this was too much, even the non heavy stuff. i know when people ask how someones doing they’re prolly asking for something simple but this feels more like a diary entry than anything.
but thanks for asking, not many people do💖 i hope everyone has a kinder year
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btw is there anything i can like offer to yall for money. i mean i have no problems taking donations also but atm it is like 5 or us in the house & 4 of us are disabled. and 2 of us are working, sister is trying to get a job + me n skerples r trying to get disabilities (im tryinf to get a job as well but no on is hiring part time unles youre a high school student and . i really dont wanna take a job im gonna get fired in within a week bc i keep passing out. so.). and we are all doing pretty badly apparently dad broke down crying from hunger earlier today and no one else is getting enough to eat either, so id like to know what i can offer to yall to potentially get a little money on a more regular basis than just. a donation. or if there is anything i can sell to yall? idk i can try to write but my energy levels are so nonextant. but i cant really think of uhhh anything else i could offer? maybe tutoring? betaing/editing for sure i could do. i can draw but it does take me ~60 hours what it takes most people ~5 hours to do but i mean if youre willing to be patient 🤔 idk if i would price by time bc that just seems kinda unfair. anyway this post is just for fielding suggestions for now. i might set up a donation post later (tho if you wanna beat the curve my paypal.me is /nat1172) but ya.
#literally...anything. i am not a man with pride or dignity#just a guy who wants his little siblings to be fed#anyway i try not to erm uh be depressing on here but erm. hungry#also shoutouts to the person that sent me $200 4 years ago when i was leaving my ex.#i really had hoped i wouldnt have to ebeg ever again and would be able to pay it forward someday. but i didnt forget about you you saved#my life forreal.
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Director's Cut Commentary, Ch. 2-6
oh, she's the one i should hate
Since I'm just about at the end of what I had originally planned for this story i thought it might be an appropriate place to pause for some reflection... more under the cut because it got kinda long and i dont want to inflict blog-length posts on your dash without warning lol
So I thought this was going to be just like, some la-di-da high school romcom AU that would never get very feelings-y or anything, and i CERTAINLY did not expect to have actual character development lol. but it got kinda real??? I mean obviously compared to other things i've written it's still pretty la-di-da and im not planning on having any big-time angst, but i've ended up really invested in it and enjoying a lot of the turns it's taken for both fatin and leah.
i think i've said this before but i'll say it any chance i can get... i have loved getting to show this from both of their POVs; i think it's worked out well and it's been such a great, rewarding challenge to weave the story together through both of their eyes. i love that i get to draw parallels between how and what the two of them think about each other, and i like getting to dig into what moments cause shifts for each of them; what do each of them fixate on; how do they interpret the same event differently... it's been really fun.
and just in general i cant overemphasize how much fun this one has been to write. i almost always enjoy writing, whether it's angst or fluff, whether it goes slow or quickly, even when im feeling uninspired/stuck, it's satisfying to just get some words down. but theres a difference between enjoying it/finding it satisfying, and like, literally being entertained by it. and this one i am just...having FUN! and it's awesome. i think it also helps that my frame of mind going into it was that i wasn't going to take it super seriously (vs. my s3 fic which i am arguably taking TOO seriously and need to loosen the fuck up about) so it's easier for me to roll with the punches when things get off track.
speaking of which... things got off track! little miss leah rilke refused to cooperate with me, which is such a bizarre sensation because i know i'm the one writing her, but it really feels like a couple times this fic she has literally just rebelled against me. the first was when fatin presented the revenge scheme; i intended for leah to hop right on board but instead she got worried about it being traced back to her. which i think makes sense because the way she's been this fic is very concerned about what people are saying/thinking about her. the other time just recently happened while i was writing the next chapter and now it's leaving me kind of at a crossroads wondering if I want to stick to my original plan or go with what Leah seems to want me to do lol.
and obviously the first time leah went rogue I adjusted the story so that they don't do a really big revenge scheme, and i dont regret that, i think it makes sense and i have one more revenge plan related plot beat that i think will wrap it up nicely. so honestly im thinking I'll just adjust things again...because it kind of feels like this is what's supposed to happen anyway, like, i'm letting the characters call the shots instead of trying to shoehorn them into my own plotlines. maybe? something like that? ok, this is getting a little pretentious lol sorry...
what else...mmm...i think thats actually all for now! until next time...
EDIT: oh yea actually i have more. i had to "kill my darlings" a couple times for this fic, i.e. get rid of a scene/plotline that i really liked but that i just couldnt justify keeping after i decided to go in a different direction. i'd never had to do that before and it's harder than i expected it to be! the first one was that i changed the party scene, which was not a huge tragedy bc i think it was the right choice but there are a few lines/ideas from that that i was sad to lose. i'm making myself feel better about it by tacking it on as a bonus chapter at the end so at least i didn't write it for nothing lol. the other one i'm even more bummed to let go of because it is so dumb and messy and i love idiots and mess, but if i go in the direction that leah seems to want me to, i don't think it'll make sense to keep it. i am optimistic that i'll be able to work the general idea into another fic, but it won't be quite the same. so maybe i'll offer that one up as another bonus chapter.
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An entire novel in one song!!! I remember you mentioning how some Hiiragi Magnetite fans are just there for the music and not the story…I completely understand the annoyance. This is a lot of work and dedication to ignore wtff.
Btw is there an actual order in a timeline? Or is there mostly snippets of specific events…does anyone remember anything when the world ends or are these people just dead now? (Literally or figuratively?) They’re all different people now? I can understand the concept of time overlapping and repeating but it does bring up a lot of questions. (Swampman is funny eheh) aND whats the deal with miss angel from oumen mokushiroku? You draw her often! I could keep going with the Q’s but I’ll stop there…actually I already asked a lot I am sorry asgkdgkdj _(:3 」∠)_
i love all hiiragi magnetite fans but im extending friendship to anyone who cares about plot bc those are kind of few even on the jpn side of things
in terms of timeline the one thing i can say for sure is kyuuyaku hankagai is the furthest is the past, though i dont think it's the start of everything. the rest of the timeline im not quite sure about and its not posted in time order.
aru sekai shoushitsu is more of an objective overview im not sure i'd put it on the timeline or if i did it'd be near the end since they know of everything that's happened. so we'll start with kyuuyaku as the oldest. the next place could go either shuuen touhikou since i dont think the chara's clothes or the fact katanas are mentioned so often are exactly modern, though they also have technology so it's not too ancient OR kugutsu ashura since they seem to be so heavily implied to be related. everything else seems to be more in present day so to speak. i think i'd say marshall maximizer → oumen mokushiroku → canon → unplanned apoptosis is the most likely order, but they're all from different chara's perspectives so its a little hard to say for sure since theyre all in different scenarios. these all seem to be in the same instance of the world too for the most part.
im not sure how much they remember between repeats. it hasnt been shown off much that i've noticed. there is a line in the text of aru sekai that's like "she closed her eyes, and i softly opened mine, that world had disappeared" so i think that means they're pretty aware of what's happening & they remember what they've tried before in order to tweak it and try again. i think they're at least vaguely aware that they died & i guess in a way theyre all the swampman in that sense.
there's actually nothing special about the angel in oumen mokushiroku i just think she's neat. she wants to help but due to things (whatever happened in canon i think) she cant actually reach out and do anything about it so she's just as distraught as everyone else. she's not even the one we have a possible clue on her name (a friend and i think the kyuuyaku girl might be named layla possibly even layla kyuuyaku bc kyuuyaku is in fact a valid last name & we cant figure out any other meaning for レイラ in the aru sekai lyrics for kyuu) as of right now all the names are secret as said by hiiragi magnetite themself though. she's got a lot of symbolism in just her art alone though with the whole broken umbrella and everything. like she's supposed to be everyone's protection and she cant even do that one thing. i just like her
u can absolutely keep asking questions i love this series theres so much going on its fun to try explaining
#asks#kukiyuuri#aru sekai series#hiimagu goto#those 4 i said are similar in time probably have the most comprehensible story arc tho#as for kugutsu ashura i hope we get another tie in song bc im obsessed i have so many questions myself
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6 fun facts for yes, the only way out is down. i posted some of these on my side acc already, but its fun to have them all in one spot
1. in the opening bit, id originally had both lines say “for martyn, it takes three” rather than having one say ren and the other say martyn. however, i thought that if i did that, id need to keep repeating the line--two just isn't enough, especially with how much i like rule of thirds. changing it to be a pair, ren and martyn, fixed the issue, but it said martyn in both lines for most of the writing process
2. i had also considered a different title for the fic, a different line from the same song. i think id been considering “but each failure only makes it worse” but i decided that was Too Much and changed to the title i have now. what’s funnier is that, actually, in the context of the song, the line i picked was actually the more melodramatic one, but it doesn’t sound quite as bad out of context. both of them, in the context of the fic, refer to martyn’s attempts to kill ren, obvs, but in the song, the one i didnt use is about trying and failing to become innocent again, and the other that i DID use is. uh. it’s god suicide-baiting the narrator.
3. i read the "4 swings theory” about decapitation something like 4 or 5 years ago when writing One Piece fic, cuz i was trying to decapitate Roronoa Zoro in a different fic. i dont think i ended up using that information--decided for the flow of my scene that just one strike would be better--but it stuck with me. not well, granted, bc i wasnt totally sure of the exact amount of swings or what happened on each one or whether a sword or axe was better or anything of the sort. i actually did try to look but couldn't find the site i read four years ago to fact check myself. however, i felt relatively certain none of you on tumblr had tested this well enough to fact check me, so the line stayed
4. i cant actually reread that fic too well bc the line about the axe grinding against bone or whatever it is that i said makes me gag
5. this fic exists as sort of a love letter to all the cool Red King fanart and designs id seen? i spent like an hour thinking about how fucked up it is people include a scar on Ren’s neck in Red King designs, and what it must mean for the decapitation itself if its jagged. also bc i got confused one single time about the scar going all the way around his neck until i realized that, yeah, of course it would, it took his fuckin head off!! also, the fact that people tend to just draw him kneeling there, and theres no way this was a dignified event--youre not gonna get chopped in the spine and just keep kneeling there.
6. i actually didnt know how to end this for the entire time i was writing it? i usually go into fics knowing exactly how theyll end, but i had no idea where i was going with this. for a bit, id had something loosely about... oh, ive mostly forgotten. something with talking to ren? but i didnt want dialogue or to stretch it into a full scene, and i remember it feeling, to me, really forced, so i scraped it all and went with the ending it has now. i wasnt sure how the ending was gonna land, but it seems like it’s gone over well, which im really glad about!
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i know i made a post like this before but i cant find it. how do you write image descriptions for art of ocs?
(as a quick note, if youre reading this in a reblog i recommend clicking back to the original post just in case ive edited it to add or clarify anything)
describing a character is like A Whole Thing. like there is a lot to describe about a person, before even getting into whatever theyre doing in the picture. am i just supposed to put the whole description on every piece i draw? i feel like that would get annoying after the first few times once someone is already a little familiar.
does the description of the character go at the beginning? i feel like that makes the most sense bc it seems odd to know what the person is doing before u know what they look like, but again if its a picture of a character someone has seen before its probably annoying to have to go through the same description theyve already read, & putting it at the end would probably make it easier to skip, but also idk how screen readers handle paragraph breaks anyway so maybe its not? (can you skip just single paragraphs at a time?) or is it better to have the character and image ids combined, describing the characters as you describe what theyre doing? i feel like that still comes back to it getting very repetitive though.
is it ok to label the parts with character ids as such instead of grouping them in with image ids so that its easier to know what to skip? like having one block that says "character id/end character id" & one that says "image id/end image id"?
is it ok to just put a simple description of the character and link to an optional more detailed description? how are links handled with screen readers? if i put a link like this, will the person know that it goes to crouton.net before clicking on it? how does it read it out, does it interrupt the flow to do it that way or is it better to just do a plain link?
and also just like... what kind of details about a character are important to include? like, again, it feels like it would be clunky & annoying to have to read all the same details every time so what is actually important about a person? like a lot of little details i give to my ocs are very deliberate, but how do i know which ones people actually need to know? im sure people looking at the image probably dont focus or pick up on every little thing either, but its hard as the person that put those details there to know which ones people dont actually need to know about.
please feel free to reblog this because i would really like to get some input on this!
#also as a side note does my lack of apostrophes fuck up how screen readers read things?? i feel like capitalization shouldnt#but apostrophes might. if thats the case i will start using them again
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