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feuqueerfire · 1 year

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Happiness Live Blogging

After the bland Island, I hope I love it

I’m not super into zombies but from what I’ve heard about it (marriage of convenience and interesting human relationships), it feels like something I’d like

Ep 1 (Mar 18)

lovely beginning hehe

Sae Bom’s mannerisms remind me of Im Jugyeong from True Beauty

she seems capable in multiple ways just from the first half of the episode, I desperately need that after Island’s Miho

oh she got bit

they’ve been really good friends for 12 years then if he’s calling her mom

oh wtf she’s in an apartment filled with people zombies in isolation that’s scary

interestingly she’s not infected despite the bite

so they feel thirsty before becoming zombies

it’s interesting and scarier that it’s not like the people become zombies and are like The Undead but these people can talk normally and be rational but then become irrationally bloodthirsty

every show has redevelopment strangers from hell beyond evil and now this

heheh the “Do you wanna date me?” “Should we get married?” coming around 12 years later at the beginning and end of this ep

This first ep was better than entirely of Island lol I liked the setup and friendship of Sae Bom and Yi Hyun, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy has liked her for these past decade; she’s “his saviour” and the way he looked when she asked him whether they should get married. I also like the characters so far: Sae Bom is very non-chalant and Yi Hyun seems capable as well. also, they’ve mentioned her being in the hospital for two years and being behind too much to not have that be the the reason she is immune. I’m liking the setup of the zombies too.

Ep 2 (Mar 18/19)

oh homeless man was given pneumonia medicine and became a zombie - Next is used for that

why does that man keep touching his neck?

i love how she’s convincing him to get married like yep i totally mean it

oh Seung Hyun gonna spill and he has a gash

ah he’s literally hanging up a photo from that first day, he must be so in love fr like i’d be surprised if he hasn’t been pining

cute kid who is so observant and is in awe of Seo Bam kicking open the door

lol the attorney with his suit jacket and pajama pants

naurrrr the red top lady skincare woman is taking medicine Next ma’am you’re gonna be a zombie soon

lmfao i was like hm he is in his underwear and is probably hiding something but i was somehow expecting porn or smth not him cheating and hiding a woman under his bed but that makes sense

ah be diligently organized the rooms including the twin beds beside each other

aw her wanting her own place so bad because her family had to move into smaller and smaller places as a child

ah unlikely partners Yi Hyun and Tae Seok

i can’t tell if Tae Seok will end up being kinda evil or not like he worked at some pharmaceutical thing, does he have connections to Next?

I have returned home, so this is my third attempt at finishing this episode cuz i watched a bit last night and this morning at someone else’s house

hehe i like Sae Bom and the tiny sick girl hanging out together

damn, the guy who got scratched has 21 missed calls from his wife and also slit his wrist

damn, he slashed his wrist and is getting that checked out instead of the scratch at his collarbone hm

we could’ve had some lesbian enemies to lovers with Sae Bom and the short haired officer medic at the hospital prison place

oh his name is Lee Seung Hyun

refrigerator truck omg

bruh soooooo many ppl zombies in that truck and it’s just one of multiple

damn they got a zombie in the truck and Tae Seok shot him to death

Tae Seok also casually water boarding the guy

damn Seung Hyun still managing to talk in the truck they haven’t eaten him yet

lol why is it so quiet in the truck

oof, so those zombies didn’t eat him cuz Seung Hyun also a zombie

Ep 3 (Mar 19)

O.O my god when Sae Bom went in I was like D: but at least she's immune or something but then Yi Hyun going in?!

ah, we get to speak to Seung Hyun again, rip him being like "they were all crazy... will I become like that again?"

hm I think it's annoying when characters want other people to put their lives in danger to save a person the MC cares about - so I kinda get where Sae Bom's coming from that they should've tried to get Seung Hyun out but he was also a beginning-stage zombie and is on his way to becoming like those full on zombies and other people also got scratched/bit to stop his dumbassery so like - consequences of his own action

so yknow that woman that we briefly saw in Tae Seok's memory his wife/sister or anything? Did Yi Hyun's comment about family sting?

okay but the man with the mask who glares at people without masks is relatable though? why are you not wearing masks in elevators and why would you take off your mask to speak, that makes no sense

lmfao all these neighbours in the elevator together is giving me slight Strangers From Hell vibes. the cannibalistic desires will be unintentional later on whereas in SFH were very intentional lol

kljsadf Yi Hyun is so in love with her fr like he must be right? tbh he's better at hiding it than other main male leads because he doesn't do the longing stare as much but his actions... ah

pls Sae Bom's Yi Hyun's mom talking to them excitedly but Sae Bom and Yi Hyun being awkward lol

I like the girl from 401

Even the "noise from upstairs" reminds me of Strangers From Hell

why is she just going to check on the zombie woman without any backup or anything T.T like she doesn't have any weapons, it's not like at the police station or university facility where there were so many trained people

is that man giving incorrect address? 102 101 instead of 601?

this old lady having to live with her old husband whose first words to her are "why aren't you feeding me?!" and her useless son who says she doesn't have nunchi while doing a vlog around the house while she's just trying to tell them about the zombie woman from 601 is gonna be my breaking point fr

okay idk why him being so into her secretly is making me feel completely insane like at 39:28 when he looks away fast when she almost catches him watchiner her?! meltdown okay I don't think that's actually what happened, he looked in same direction as her but i'd paused too early cuz i died

i think it's funny when like every man in a drama is the Worst except our main male lead. Min ji's husband? a cheater and perhaps an abuser. the old lady's husband? deserves death for how he treats her. Seung Hyun? not the worst but greedy and reckless nonetheless. I don't trust the man who's the attorney in like 602 or smth and also Tae Seok is suspicious

damn Tae Seok wife still alive but is sleeping in 3C like all the other late stage zombies

oof yaeh mans sold it at Le Ciel - which is the gym where the people who bought their apartments (not leasers) took

oof so the apartment is gonna be quarantined. everybody trapped

alksdf them hugging

pls the arrested man running away while they're hugging

I don't really get the quarantine/trapped thing tbh like okay we're trying to trap the zombie people but it's like the middle of a day, possibly a weekday, aren't many of the people going to be at work or just outside?

Ep 4 (Mar 20)

damn so the woman that the dude was cheating with is also suspicious

no but i seriously love the way he says "Sae Bom-ah... I have to catch the man though..." but doesn't push her away or anything it's so cute idkidkidkkk

anyway, this man Yi Hyun's partner rice cake guy is fr gonna be trapped in this apartment too lol

poor dear little girl crying T.T and hiding it T.T

oof this awkward apartment meeting pls

Ahn Guk Jin/Andrew - is he gonna be just another regular guy and they're making Yi Hyun kinda suspect him to throw us off?

pls Sae Bom and Yi Hyun are lowkey cops who use their powers

Sae Bom's mother warned her against becoming like her and saying to be happy hm

okay hm so Tae Seok apparently assaulted the Chairman and so was let go of or smth but he and Chairman are clearly speaking and Chairman had recommended Tae Seok to some high position, so was the assault fake? he seems sick but not from the assault? and Tae Seok's saying the chairman released Next to the public

oh i see lmfao chairman is sick from Next, infected Tae Seok's wife by drinking her blood/biting her, now he released it into the wild because that means the cure would be found faster. He wasn't assaulted, he just went out of the limelight because he's such a zombie and they're just letting him eat people lmfao

the other buildings in the complex fucking them over, so Sae Beom using the gun to scare them and Mr rice cake guy tell Seo Yoon to not learn from it but her being delighted at how cool Sae Bom is

I can't remember who the people they showed in the montage buying Next at the gym were but was the business woman lady one of them? she's taking medicine but i can't see which

bro these last 6 mins? so who was the person infected? that was hunting down the people in the garage? i don't know who was got by them either. and Andrew just watching people being chased ah scary and the old lady was scratched as expected and Seo Yoon texting her mom oof

Sae Bom is very brash and impulsive and bold, I hope something bad happens due to it because it's a very big character flaw that needs to have consequences.

Ep 5 (Mar 20)

so we're gonna not have any follow up for who Sae Bom heard at the end of last ep?

ah the wifi and phone and TV all gone is actually fucked

these residents who aren't believing them that there was a real zombie and keep trying to open the door are actually killing me so bad

alkdsjf wtf not the mistress of the dermatology mans tryna play footsie with the attorney? i didn't like the attorney but is he also a cheater?

oof, true the zombies will become humans again

so the dealers are also all becoming zombies oof

lol the woman defending her older brother after hating on him this whole time is so funny and real

fuckkk the creep dermatologist possible murderer is offering 300k won (~300CAD) to someone who will figure out what's going on outside so of course the 2 cleaners and their Andrew are volunteering fuck this

oh the bastard's name is Oh Joo Hyung

scratch, bite, NEXT

ah the cleaner getting blood all over his gloved hands cuz there's blood on the door handle oh fuck also does touching the blood like that also infect your or anything? the short-haired woman didn't say so but yknow

oh damn the building representative and the gym suspect are siblings - that's his secret

Hyun going fucking whack on Joo Hyung is so satisfying, I actually need that man brutally murdered by the end for sure. like is the building representative the most irritating person? do i wanna slap that old man's neck who treats his wife like trash and has one braincell? yeah but Joo Hyung needs to die ripped apart piece by piece

no but acc I wish they came up with a way to give the people food and stuff even if it's like drop some food from an airplane or smth

Tae Seok had an emotional attachment to his wife and so wants this to end and there to be a cure but he's so good at being detached and not do the emotional-driven brash things Sae Bom or Yi Hyun do. He's such an interesting character with his ability to remain cold and put many above others (well it'd be diff if his wife was on the line I think) and how to navigate this situation in regards to what info to give to those officials about the antibody and how to instill fear and complicity in the protestors

Ep 6 (Mar 20/21)

ah 6 months ago. Tae Seok's wife speaking about the baby

oh yeah I forgot until now that Tae Seok at first was like 'hm medicine/pills? I don't think so' at Yi Hyun when he knew about Next the whole time

lol I also jumped a bit when he had the fast reaction when she startled Tae Seok

ooh what is Joo Hyung's mistress girly looking for? she's bypassing the money

please it's killing me so bad that Joo Hyung is pelting the gym guy (representative's dongsang) with balls and Yi Hyun is just watching

omg wtf gym mans really was infected, I really was also hoping that he wasn't infected and really didn't know lol rip but he was looking for those meds in the garage back then oof

oh gym mans name is Kim Seung Bom

lmfao them being like who’s gonna be the good cop bad cop and both wanting to the bad cop like you guys already areee bro

bruv not the attorney inviting joo hyung’s mistress and her hugging him and then his wife smelling her on his jacket a bit before getting distracted

joo hyung rlly got his hands on the Next polls in Seung Bom’s car agh

oof the building rep wants seung bom gone goddamn are they not siblings?

Andre didn’t vote i don’t think?

pls not the building rep being like i’m glad we don’t have to throw him out :>

miss girl attorney’s wife made the wrong choice marrying him rip

omg so the 1501 hazmat suit guy could become a zombie and he invited Sae Bom into his house bruhhh

the annoying blogger mans is so horrible

not the siblings fighting and leaving seung bom by themselves and also the brother is such a pos

bro so many things going on. letting zombies into the building bc of vlogger’s phone and writer girl watching her brother get bit and dragged away by one and seung bom boutta transform and sae bom is in 1501 hazmat’s house and he might also transform

why is 1501 being so crypticccc

Ep 7 (Mar 21)

ah fuck this creep mans almost getting Seo Yoon but she's a little smarticle, much more so than the dumbass adults

no novel writer pleaseeee don't fall for gym mans like be serious you saw your brother get bitten by a zombie why tf would you listen to this man begging rn and you didn't see him finish driving everything ah fuck

and when she goes to run away she goes to the parking lot?!?!

not Tae Seok coming in to kill the gym zombie

I know the novel lady is in shock after seeing her brother + seeing that guy get shot but one less person would've died if you hadn't given him the fucking handcuff keys so I'm too annoyed for sympathy right now

damn, does the priest's cross actually work?

I slightly got spoiled that Andrew isn't a good guy, I do wonder what he's hiding under the mask

I guess Seo Yoon reminds Tae Seok of his own possible child

I don't fully get why Tae Seok wants Seo Yoon to come outside now when previously he didn't?

Why is Joo Hyung so fucking happy I need him to die so bad at this city lockdown and martial law

I don't get why they don't want to tell people about Next now like it could make people sure to not take it, right?

damn bruv Tae Seok really wants to let a zombie bite Sae Bom to see if she can avoid turning after that

oh they cut out the gym zombie's brain - needed for antibody probably

the shot of Yi Hyun running down the stairs from outside of the building is so fun

so is the blood Sae Bom's? The zombie mans? Sae Bom did say Tae Seok didn't kill the guy, though he shot him. So did he bite Sae Bom? If not, wouldn't she have taken the blood test regardless in order to find a cure?

what exactly does the mistress woman want with the attorney

motherfucker Joo Hyung is putting Next is the water? he's gonna fucking try to get mistress to drink that water? his plan to kill her?

so is the mistress really actually wanting help to escape Joo Hyung and his murderous intent?

damn novel writer's brother is actually like? an upstanding person even after turning? like he's a zombie who left and has been staying out of the apartment building

ah fuck electricity off

oh yeah how will building representative and her husband use jeong gook and his power via gun due to his devotion to the priest

did joo hyung open the fucking door for novel writer's brother even though he didn't even want it?

tae seok is interesting - he wants to develop an antibody using Sae Bom but doesn't want higher-ups to get wind of it

Ep 8 (Mar 22)

ah she's hiding her infected brother in the abandoned 1102 apartment?

so did Joo Hyung mans do anything other than give the food? ah tried to convince him to come inside

Sae Bom is really brash with her actions since the beginning but it's been interesting to see how Yi Hyun is also getting slightly more brash or rude each episode

lmfao ya Yi Hyun, getting married was surely the right decision

calling it D-Day when it's supposed to be the last day of quarantine is ah

omg not the doctor guy giving everybody drinks? must be him and there must be Next in it

lmfao and he even got the building rep to lie that its hers

did joo hyung really think it'd be lifted td n he cud escape n avoid them

i get why the son is selfish enough to not want to stay in the same house as his mother when she could become a zombie again anytime but he really raided their food storage lmfao

so some ppl know sae bom was bitten

i wanna trust Andrew n will be sad if he's evil

lmfao Joo Hyung drank it but threw it all up but what's gonna happen to Yi Hyun? Sae Bom could be immune

okayyyyy I'm glad that the gym trainer telling Yi Hyun he's got Next in his car than Joo Hyung was asking about and Yi Hyun saying he'll "take care of it" has come around lol

so Yi Hyun had switched the pulls multiple episodes ago. Hope those Next pills are somewhere safe though

ah the jeong gook hyung this turning against Sae Bom and Yi Hyun with the guidance of religion isn't surprising at all

Tae Seok using these old rich men to "gather data" oof good, they literally injected themselves with a potential cure by sneaking it out but didn't know that the cure failed in the second trails dumbasses

oof Tae Seok's wife Young In is awake and speaking now

Ep 9 (Mar 22/23)

they're really quarantining them to the apartment so that they can't meddle oof

lol Yi Hyun being like it's okay Seo Yoon, they're not all mean just mostly scared EXCEPT Joo Hyung or whatever, he's the devil

ah they're so dramatic, making their hands bleed

Joo Hyung dropped his knife

but I wish Yi Hyun dropped his knife

oof rip grocery girl

oh yeah we're still looking for a bloodied towel, I thought it would've been the novel writer and her brother but maybe it's the old woman who knows or somebody else infected

bro wtf why was the priest boutta lick the blood off the floor? is he just fucked in the head or is he also a zombie to be and that's why those other zombies didn't wanna eat him? <- maybe Andrew is that way too

please I'm actually dying at how cutely Yi Hyun's trying to defend himself and his decisions and saying he's fine despite the cut and Sae Bom's so mad that he did that

oh I see so there's a mutation where they only show their zombie-self when they timely want to + Tae Seok thinks it's probably occurred in Seyand Forest already (it happens when a lot of the zombies are at one place?), so I'd guess the priest is that way + maybe grandma old lady? idk

I have 15 mins before class so I was like Ill watch some before then but I watched 3 ads, moved to 35 mins, watched 3 ads, watched 15 secs, watched 3 ads like vikiiii brooooo

is the pastor not being attacked because he’s devout and spiritual or because he’s also a zombie oh jeong gook my guy

is the pastor gonna lick the blood on the wall do it do it do it

oh he’s drinking so much water

lmfao his smiley blood mouth

so the pastor was the one who had the bloody towel thrown away

oh this lady loves the possibility of being the resident representative so much. wouldn’t even let her husband go to the gym to isolate, she wants him in their room

lmfao this priest literally ran outside and is wreaking havoc on residents so funny i want him to kill joo hyung so bad

plsssss not joo hyung listening to attorney and his mistress having sex and them putting their clothes on with excuses while mans locks himself in a room so funny

yi hyun making his hand bleed again so funny

can jeong gook come with his fucking gun hes so useless fr

lmfaooo jeong gook managed to get priest to throw himself off the balcony

of course she’s gonna say sae bom and yi hyun killed him

mistress is looking for Oh Joo Hyung’s bitcoin account password - is that tattoo on his arm his password lol that’d be funny

Yi Hyun has a lot of insight on the fear of somebody infected not wanting to tell, i guess it’ll come in handy later when he also probably gets infected

i should be more annoyed at Yi Hyun being jealous over Sae Bom and 1501 but i’m just like hehe cute

Han Tae Seok crying at his wife’s bedside

save the mother obviously if it’s baby vs mother

oh the hand washing in the sink water is

oh lmfao the words of wisdom came from Yi Hyun already being scratched the day before, not for future

Ep 10 (Mar 23)

bro so many things: 1501’s penthouse seems suspicious and ominous, Yi Hyun scratched, Tae Seok lying by saying Sae Bom doesn’t have antibodies and keeps wanting Seo Yoon out for some reason (is he gonna fucking experiment on her or something)

oh 1501 captured? or did he leave? was forced to leave? i wish they’d also check the roof maybe

oh is the door beside their building open so that zombies can leave? is that was Tae Seok was talking about last ep? or two eps ago

okay it is very possible Andrew saw him leave because Andrew watched everything from balconies and roofs (also is he infected too? since the zombies had walked through a door bc he said so?) but that one reddit comment had made it seem like he’s up to no good later on in the show so did he capture 1501

Joo Hyung still wears his wedding band also did he really not see attorney and mistress together or he’s just pretending? i’d guess the latter. also he surely wants from her and she’s also wanting his bitcoin password

Yi Hyun and his water ah also people have all been noticing his weirdness like Tae Seok in the walkie talkie and Joo Hyung in 1501 apartment

ah Yi Hyun sitting and thinking about moments with Sae Bom

noona ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pls literally alskdja attorney and mistress having sex in 1102 for a sec i was like ?!1501 with zombie man??? D:

is 1501 dead or smth why are there flies

oh my fucking god somebody bit and killed the old cleaning lady and covered her with the lime powder in 1501 house

asking oh joo hyung for help is so

lmfao pls they even went to the dead body room but left cuz it smelled

where did i previously see the guy go plays novel writer’s brother. true beauty? no… but he’s familiar somehow

lol was Andrew gonna actually run away with the food or what

also what happened to like vlogger and his parents

oh his wife Young In.

i wish they’d just somehow tell Sae Bom to come in and give blood like she would do it for sure

damn vlogger finally has enough of a heart to give his parents food. though i wish he’d tell sae bom and yi hyun to give his parents two head counts of food instead lol

are we gonna finally find out if andrew is good or not like i’ve had sort of confirmation that there’s something off about him since like ep 4 on-air thread or smth so pls

well no proper confirmation but ominous music while Andrew sits on 1501’s throne so

oh yi hyun can control his turning this like the mutated zombies

did oh joo hyung know about the generator electricity from 1501?

the cleaning husband is so annoying

goddamn yi hyun healing too fast so cutting his palm

i thought Tae Seok told there to be a way for zombies to leave will we ever come back to that? i thought maybe 1501 left that way but seems not

more Andrew lore nowwww pls

not the flu in EPS door

oh Ahn Guk Jin/Andrew is not who he says he is

oh fuck 1501 dead and stored in EPS by Andrew. he killed cleaning lady too and he killed another man whose identity he presumed

oh fuck poor Seo Yoon

oh the way all the neighbours are standing in front of the door with their bags is so Strangers From Hell

are we supposed to know him when he takes off his madb? Andrew?

a serial killer, wasn’t expecting that but interesting. so he’s been just going around slashing people in the middle of this zombie apocalypse.

Ep 11 (Mar 23)

some of these fuckers knew Andrew was threatening people or killing them broooo death fr

fucker is taking Seo Yoon?

is Yi Hyun gonna be able to be able control himself around all this Jeong Gook blood

these people are so fucked in the head like i get survival mode maybe but Joo Hyung and Building Rep rlly planned on how Andrew will kill sae bom and yi hyun

oh Andrew with the hammer and bloody hand on his conquered throne

Yi hyun realizing that he too is probably gonna turn out the same way as the zombies

why have we not had a single satisfying kill yet like the vlogger had stopped being a pos a while ago so them surrounding his unstarting car was just horrifying

the cleaner husband genuinely has rocks for brains like everybody dumb for working with Andrew but he’s yelling that “Andrew is a nobody” 2 metres away from him like be fr

she knows about his zombienes now

ooh she confessed

joo hyung tryna fucking kill jeong gook with a pillow

lmfao pls the blockchain stuff attorney keeps spouting

yeeee attorney wife !!

but also i’m nervous that andrew can see the elevator going up and down

bro jeong gook is bleeding don’t let bo ram grocery girl close to him

not this old video confession to sae bom

Ep 12 (Mar 23)

final ep ah

oh Seo Yoon getting to see her mom after so long

i kinda get it, kinda don't like they're using up the antibodies on the wife and Seo Yoon's mom

okay she's saying there'll be other people with the antibodies but ??? man idgi how will you find these people and when?

why did they change clothes

"I always knew we had a connection" wow lesbianism

please this beating up funny lass

I don't get it like okay I get being emotional over your beloveds but you kinda do need to see people as numbers when it's come to this like how to get the least people killed even if it means killing a few people to make sure more people don't die like idkkkk with the cure being used, more people are obviously gonna die and stuff right? am i wrong? is the cure like non-reproducible unless it comes directly from Sae Bom's body and she has no more left? but shouldn't they try?

oh please please I hope they all tear each other apart and rip each other limb by limb

lmfaooooo please Joo Hyung doing all this when he's not even a zombie yet, just sane and munching on people so funny

please why is this episode randomly so funny like the brother-sister author zombie argument about blood-drinking

everybody taking pulls, like the cleaning wife feeding it to his husband

oh she really beat Andrew dead with a bat that's pretty fun she's so fucked in the head

oh she didn't succeed in beating him dead

pls Joo Hyung clutching the notebook like a child

there's only 30 mins left, what's gonna happen?

lol the building representative laughing is pretty fun

why is Joo Hyung so funny, him wanting to be but unable to become a zombie is so funny

kiss tiny peck

pls not the attorney calling Soo Yoon after treating her like trash and cheating on her and everything

lol the loss in bitcoin is expected

lmfao that's really funny the old couple and vlogger family being like wow they could knock on our door right now and the soldiers really do lol

pls the way they're taking away the novelist's brother is pretty funny

the way the cleaners are literally so fucked in the head with greed and stuff

all of them really are like the fucking building representative wanna lady is really wild her mental breakdown has been pretty fun

lol ofc Andrew in 1501. yknow he doesn't have any actual reasoning like why does he wanna kill these 2 501 folks so badly compared to the other people in the apartment?

6 minutes left they're not gonna kill off Hyun right now right like they won't right? that makes no sense right? no they wouldn't right? the soldiers are in the building and they're taking novelist brother antibody carrier so he can't actually die right? I feel like it would've ben more dramatic if so

bruh Building Rep Wannabe and Joo Hyung on trial ah

oh it's been a year

bro what I feel like there's some scenes missing hmmm I should go see what scene tVN has that's not in Viki <- couldn't find anything

Overall:

Good but not great. I liked the first quarter and last quarter most because there was more action and things happening, whereas the middle half was slower, had less action, and was more people-based. There were different characters and they had distinct personalities and circumstances and I like the fucked-in-the-head neighbours trope but most of the side characters were pretty one-dimensional. I also wish we got to see some actual proper satisfying murder.

The romance was barely there but it was still cute. I liked how comfortable they were with each other and I liked the platonic/non-romantic moments as well. Usually, I don't like it when the male lead forcefully moves around or orders the female lead but it's not too bad this time because I think 1) they're friends and it kinda makes sense if friends are so aggressive and 2) she kinda does the same to him, though more with words and less manhandling.

Rating: 7/10

#ep by ep commentary #happiness

0 notes

hyunverse · 1 year

Note

hehehehe ur cute. i’m so happy to hear ur day was good :)). i cry at movies too 😔. this is so embarrassing but i legit cried at the end of the sonic movie like the 2020 one … IT WAS JUST A SOFT ENDING OKAY 😔😔😔. I COULDNT HELP IT 😔😔. SAME grocery shopping is smth i always look forward to. i swear the cereal section is the best bc it’s just so bright. like everything else has such bland packaging and then the cereal section is just boom color and happy characters and cute logos like it’s just the best. THEY HAD MY FAVE PASTRYY it’s called spanakopita and it’s soooo yum. it’s a spinach and ricotta blend in this rly flakey pastry it’s so so so good. same i love them all sm. andddd let’s just say the dogs here are definitely city dogs so they’re a lot more immune ….? to odd things …? and to doing odd things ???? and their owners just aren’t even phased it’s so strange 😭

LMFAO ITS TRUE THEYRE LIKE DORITOS 😭😭 yep ik exactly what ur talking about and it’s perfffff. nothing better than some nice collarbones too. they look so delicate and kissable gahhhh. hyunjins make me dizzy. sooooo delicate and longgggg he’s so <333333333. victor 100% unreachable visual who is the blueprint. howl pendragon can come into my life and ruin it rn now pls. talk about perfect man ?? like yes bring him here pls 🙏🏼. LIKE AN ERASER 😭😭 UR LITERALLY RIGHT BC WHY R THEY SO HUGE ?? i love it tho hehe

ohhhh okay yes that makes sense, that’s so cool to think of. all the fast food in america sucks tbh 💔. i’d much rather mcdonalds from another country than whatever we have. every fast food thing here is just … boring. and expensive now so you’re better off just going somewhere else yk ? agreed i don’t customize my orders ever, but i do like to add cold foam to my coffee hehe. it’s just so rich and creamy and delish. and the machines are always “broken” bc they just don’t want to clean it 😭. they’re a pain to clean so i understand but if i want a mcflurry, i want a mcflurry 😠. andddd now i’m craving pandan leaf chicken as well <///3 so smokey and delish grrrr i love food

HYUNJIN DOES FLIRT THROUGH DANCING OMFG. he’s so perfect i actually get frustrated. like i don’t understand how someone can have that many ideal qualities and just exist. how does he live w himself knowing he is the IDEAL MAN ?? IDEK WHAT ID DO W MYSELF. FELIX IS DEFFF ACTING UP. but seeing this confidence on him is so attractive 🤭🤭🤭. i feel like that’s another thing that makes hyunes dancing so attractive bc you can tell he’s so content while doing it and how all of his moves are so articulated GAHHH i could watch him dance all day. imagine dating him and just being able to watch him practice ?? him winking at you in the mirror every now and then ohhhhh i’d pass out

i hope ur sleeping well my pretty 💗💗 kisses 4 uuuuu

- 🐈‍⬛

sonic movie??? ive never heard of anyone crying over the sonic movie T_T then again i cant judge because ive never watched it. dw bae, i cry over soft endings too. we have issues and its ok!! tbh i cry over fluff more than i cry over angst. it's just that i get so overwhelmed by the love, that it makes me sob yk? i sound insane, dont i </3 whats ur fave cereal? i love the milo crunch cereal, tastes like milo but make it cereal!!! and i googled spanakopita and omg. . .it looks mouth-watering. gonna attempt to find a place which sells them here. talking abt pastries, 'm going to a cafe with my mum tmr for breakfast, so im looking forward to that!!

anything abt hyunjin makes me dizzy tbh. the recent dancing vids of hyune 😵‍💫 hes out to get me fr fr. management pls make him stop body rolling on stage bcs it makes me sick!! (pls dont i love it when he does) HOWL IS SO PERFFFFFFF. THE MAN! i could talk about the plot of howl's moving castle for hours. i love the plot twist, how howl has been searching for sophie for years. thats true love right there! also jeongin hand pics has been all over my fyp come save me!! save me from this monstrosity.

the american slander 😭cmere bae i'll take u to a mcdonalds 🙏i'll give you all the mcflurrys you want. its always available here <333 now im craving for an oreo mcflurry omg... and pandan leaf chicken zzz

STOP FEEDING INTO MY DELUSIONS, MY LOVE. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SUCH THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD? i want hyunjin to give me a private show (not in an nsfw way i swear) he looks so enchanting on stage, i'd love to sit in front of him, alone with him and just watch him dance. he puts so much thought and emotion in his movements, it's amazing how he could do that all while ensuring every move is precise. making it all look easy is also one thing. oh the winks would be the death of me. i feel like he'd cling on u right after too <333 will ask for lil reward kisses after practise <3 did u see the vid of felix lifting his shirt up to make people scream for muddy water? hes in his hot guy and he knows it era. love it for him 🙏

also, today, seungmin and felix went live. i got to watch it and it was so chaotic T_T it was them attempting to make candy but failing at doing so </3 i mean what did we expect from them tbh.

hope ur day is going well, sweet darling. thousand of kisses for u <333!!

#rin's lovemail!#🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

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triggeringbitch · 2 years

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100 Reasons to Lose Weight

I won’t sweat in summer.

I won’t sweat in winter.

I won’t be the biggest female in my friend group.

I won’t be the biggest sister.

I won’t be the biggest child.

Having people telling my friends/family members I’m the “hot one”.

I’ll take up less space.

My hair will look longer.

My skin will be clearer.

My eyes will appear bigger.

My cheekbones will be more prominent.

My lips will appear fuller.

My jawline will be sharp instead of rounded.

No more double chin.

My piercings will look better.

Necklaces will be lost in the dips of my collarbones.

My shoulders won’t look as broad.

My arms will be more slender.

My tattoos will look better.

I’ll be able to wear more bracelets.

Rings will fit easily.

I can finally get bellybutton/nipple piercings.

My ribs will jut out.

I’ll have a more prominent hourglass figure.

I’ll finally have a flat stomach.

No more muffin top.

I’ll get full easier.

I’ll actually be able to see my hipbones.

No more love handles.

My thighs won’t squish out when I sit.

No more thigh rash when I’m walking.

I’ll have a thigh gap for once.

I can actually fit my cute socks because my calves won’t be too big.

I can actually wear anklets.

Flat shoes will add to my style instead of making my legs look huge.

I can finally wear heels and not look like there’s two tree trunks carrying me around.

I won’t have to worry about clothes fitting me.

Fitting rooms won’t make me want to cry.

I’ll be able to wear all my cute dresses.

All my time spent not shoveling food into my face can be spent running errands, doing hobbies, etc.

All the money I don’t spend on food can go into furthering any skills/hobbies, be put into savings, paying off debts, etc.

I can actually be picked up bridal style, piggyback, etc.

My boyfriend’s clothes will be way too big.

To look amazing in baggy clothes and a messy bun instead of looking like I’m “sloppy” and “don’t care”.

I can sit on people’s laps and not worry about hurting them.

All the compliments I’ll receive.

I’ll be able to eat “fatty” foods and people won’t think I’m disgusting.

I can share clothes with skinny friends.

I won’t be as self-conscious.

Sheer confidence.

The before and after photos will be astounding.

I won’t have to suck in.

People will be jealous of how I look.

I’ll actually look good in a bathing suit.

I can wear lingerie and know I look good.

“Have you lost weight?”

“You’ve gotten so tiny!”

“How did you do it?”

Instead of hearing I’m “thick/thicc”, I’ll hear “you’re so skinny!”

People telling me I need to eat.

Tell people how much I weigh without batting an eye.

Tell people how much weight I’ve lost and feel proud.

Reduce health issues.

Hopefully fix some mental issues as well.

To improve my overall mood.

I’ll prove everyone wrong.

To be excited to go clothes shopping.

All the crop tops I can wear.

To work out in just a sports bra and leggings.

It’ll take less time to shave.

I’ll finally smile at my reflection instead of shying away.

Eating to live, not living to eat.

For the astonishment from former classmates/coworkers.

So I can work out without looking like I’m trying too hard.

So only my boobs/ass jiggle and not my whole body.

To look and feel younger.

To be able to find my own clothing style instead of wearing what “fits me” or “covers problem areas”.

I’ll have more energy to do things.

Sleeping better.

It’ll improve my sex life.

I want to be in control of my life instead of feeling like life is controlling me.

To enjoy cooking healthy meals instead of reaching for that easily accessible snack cake.

I want to feel good and not sick after I eat.

It’s important to overcome the looming diseases/health problems that run in my family. I’m not immune.

I want to focus on my relationships instead of focusing on when/what I’m eating next.

I have plans for a family. I don’t want to be overweight/obese when that time rolls around.

I don’t want to feel like how I look is a factor for me not getting a job, someone not liking me, etc.

I want to break my addiction of comfort eating.

To improve my flexibility.

Apparently building muscle also builds brain cells (or at least increases their capability).

To feel the extra pep in my step.

To be a role model.

To enjoy going for walks/bike rides instead of doing it to lose weight.

To not be blamed when food goes missing.

No more settling for second-best because I think I deserve it.

No more broken New Years’ resolutions.

Life is short.

Realizing I’ve achieved something I’ve thought was unattainable my whole life.

I’ve wanted this for years.

I’ll FINALLY be HAPPY with MYSELF.

#mine #this is my own list i made from my mind #long post #pinned post

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sandersgrey · 2 years

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Soft tissues are an essential investment when you have a constant minor cold

#alex wont shut up #everyones always like. wow must be nice to be that skinny #and first of all i do recognize that there are really no societal cons #but 1) im not skinny im underweight af and 2) youre Supposed to have a healthy layer of fat #i can literally hook my fingers UNDER my collarbones #youre not supposed to be able to do that #so like. health cons include: i have no stamina. no reserves.#when im sick i lose weight incredibly easy. that is Not good #and my immune system fucking sucks so im always sniffing #so. soft tissues.#anyway #alex complains

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heterotragedies · 2 years

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addict | 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.2k

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mingi + female reader

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: drabble, suggestive, kissing, smallest humping,high school seniors au,

𝐞𝐱𝐭: super ultra short drabble. shortest thing ive ever written, hope u guys like it!

.˚ ₍🗒₎ ꒰ © 𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 ꒱

It was hot, the entire room was stuffy and humid. Lips smacking against one another and heavy panting were the only things that filled the room. Your hands were all over Mingi’s body, one tangled in his soft silky tresses and the other finding purchase on his bare shoulder. His shirt had been unbuttoned halfway, part of it slipping off his broad frame and exposing his defined collarbones and strong chest.

Mingi’s large palms cupped each and every curve of your body: ass, tits, thighs, face. Any and all curves he could get his hands on, he’d touch. Because he’s addicted. Addicted to your skin against his, addicted with how his hands are the perfect fit to every part of your body. He’s gone mad because he’s so in love with how your lips taste against his. So soft and plump and covered in his favourite peach lip gloss.

Sitting on his lap was your favourite position. Having him tower over you no matter the situation because he is just that tall made your toes curl and fingers tingle. One of your hands trailed down to Mingi’s chest, drawing circles and electric doodles onto his skin before following the line of the tank top he wore underneath his school uniform.

Once Mingi swiped a tongue along your bottom lip, it was over for you. At just that one move he had you putty in his arms. A whine escaped your lips when they parted and you eagerly tried to take his tongue into your awaiting mouth. You want him to explore you, like he has done many times before yet you can’t seem to get enough. Mingi was too addicting.

You were too inebriated with his touch, his warmth, the sparks that erupt at his fingertips and zips straight into your core. He was high on the taste of your lips and the miniscule whines that called for him, needing him as if he was the water you drink and food that you feast on.

With your lover’s tongue brushing up against yours, you straighten your back and tilt your head off to the right, desperate to feel him deeper in you. To have more of his skin on yours. Every inch of your body feels like it’s getting iced and burnt at the same time, yet inside it’s as if you have piping hot liquid lust sloshing around.

And then.

“Hun.” You gasp, placing your palms firmly on your boyfriend’s shoulders to pull away. Your eyes snapping to the glowing phone thrown haphazardly onto your pillows. The screen lit up with your brother’s name splayed across it and vibrating with his favourite song “Girl’s Talk” by Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

Mingi just grunts and keeps his teeth latched onto your bottom lip. His large hand slides up behind your neck and tugs you back into his kiss. He’s been itching to kiss you all day. Fingers twitching to finally comb through your meticulously brushed hair and dishevel it from your ponytail. He’s waited nearly four hours to finally get you to himself since the graduation ceremony started.

“Leave it, Hun.”

“But, Gi.” You whine, hands sliding up to his jaw im an effort to break free. “It’s Seonghwa.”

“And? C’mon Hun. Just let me kiss you for fifteen minutes.” He gives you the cutest puppy eyes ever and you try your damn hardest to not fall into his charms.

“We’ve been making out for the past thirty minutes, Gi.”

“Thirty-five minutes then.”

You giggle. Apparently you weren’t immune to whatever Mingi’s powers were, because one pout from him has your resolve crumbling and whittling away. So your lips find their way back to your lover’s and you proceed to give him the affection he asked for. Your ringing phone and ever so worried brother forgotten in the background.

The ringing stopped sometime while you ate each other’s faces out. Maybe it was when you shrugged your blouse off and let Mingi palm at your breasts, or when he paused for a moment to let you lick at his fingertips. Neither of you noticed, too caught up in each other’s tastes and scents. Too addicted to each other.

At some point, Mingi’s pants unbuttoned and your skirt flipped up to expose your (more like Mingi’s) favourite black panties. Mingi was now leaning back on your headboard, hands gripping your hips as you hovered over his clothed erection.

It had been well over thirty five minutes when you started grinding your core onto Mingi. But, really, who’s counting? Not you, and definitely not Mingi who seems to be preoccupied with kneading your ass into clay. Can you blame him? When the swell of your ass fits perfectly into his cupped palms and his fingertips genty dip and dig into your flesh.

Like a moth to a flame, you were sucked into his touch once more. It was all just Mingi… Mingi. Mingi. Your senses filled with him. Your skin wrapped around his, his scent fogging in your mind. You have no choice but to think about Mingi.

Mingi.

“Mingi!” You yelp.

“Y/n!” Seonghwa yells from downstairs, the sound of his feet pattering against the carpet follow the echoes of his voice.

A curse leaves Mingi’s kiss-plumped lips and you have to resist kissing them again. A simple task considering your brother is right down the hallway, making his way up to your room where you’re perched on top of your boyfriend’s hardened dick. Which means you have to hop off and try to make the situation look presentable.

So, with Seonghwa’s footsteps nearing by the second, you grab Mingi’s arm and fling him in the direction of the bathroom. He nearly slips on the tiles but you’ve no time to tend to him, opting to shut the door running towards your closet.

“Mom said– Jesus christ!”

Seonghwa slams your bedroom door close as soon as he shoved it open upon seeing your nearly naked form struggling to button up your shirt.

“I’m changing, you fuck!” The best lie you ever came up with.

“Well, hurry up! Mom and dad are already at the restaurant!”

You tug your skirt down and pat the frizz out of your hair, looking in the mirror to see your skin coloured in red– not from the embarrassment of having your brother walk in on you ‘changing’. At the same time you hear Mingi flush the toilet and he comes out with his face dripping with cold water and a deep blush etched onto his skin, similar to yours.

“Okay, let’s go.” You huff, with Mingi clinging onto your arm. The both of you finally looking decent enough to see your parents. Seonghwa mutters ‘took you long enough’ under his breath before leading the way out of the house.

You’re probably not gonna do that again (spoiler: you did). The amount of embarrassment and shame you’d have been in would probably make you bury yourself alive. And the sheer luck you had for having a brother whose gullible enough to believe your little fib, maybe someone up there was looking over you.

But Seonghwa’s not that gullible (his suspicions only solidifying when you came out hand in hand with your boyfriend), and now he knows that if he ever gets sent to voicemail, he should not try to barge into your room.

dividers and headers are drawn and designed by me.

please reblog if you enjoyed this! since tumblr works on a system of reblogs rather than likes, i would appreciate if you reblogged the content that you liked. thank you so much!

do NOT plagiarize or translate any of my works & thank you for reading.

#heterotragedies #het.traj #het.traj s.mg #|#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez smut #mingi #mingi x reader #mingi smut

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tendouluvr · 3 years

Text

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier.

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it.

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

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actualbird · 2 years

Note

I 100% agree with your Luke "Teenage Girl With A Pink Glitter Pen" take, but would also like to draw everyone's attention to Mr. Marius "How Can I Make This Suit More Slutty My Style (alternatively, How Can I Make It Look Like I Just Finished Making Out With MC (or Luke)) And Get Away with It" Von Hagen.

(He actually just didn't know how to tie the bow tie. He's also in the clip on bowtie club with Luke LMAO)

-Moon 🌕

irt pv for new cn server MR card event where luke looks like hes boutta doodle little hearts in the margins of his diary

GOD, MARIUS DRIVES ME NUTS IN THIS PV CUZ //gestures at everyone else. marius LOOK! everybody else followed the dress code! even LUKE!! can you PLEASE tie your bowtie and button up ur shirt u insufferable WHORE!!!

(i say this but i dont actually want this to happen cuz im only human, i am not immune to hot otome man collarbone. also, it's very in character)

omg i LOVE your rationale, moon. marius did Not know how to tie the bowtie and he did Not have the same strength/determination/enough-fucks-to-give that luke did to persist at making it work so he just left it open under the pretense of Sexiness. whos to say he didnt actually make out with mc and luke right before his pictures and completely blamed his slight state of undress on them

marius: i was all dressed up properly :( but then my INSATIABLE LOVERS could not help but RAVISH ME :(

luke and mc: BITCH??? YOURE A LIAR AND A SNAKE

marius: i love you too ;)

meanwhile vyn just wants this photoshoot done cuz it was scheduled in the morning and past his cool transition lenses glasses he is So Sleepy and artem is wondering why he was directed to pose With a chair but Not Sitting On It, HAHAKJDSFS

#IVE GOT MCMARLUKE WORMS IN MY BRAIN THIS MORNING #moon!anon #asks

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cafe-de-lune · 2 years

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Request: um hi i saw that your matchups are open and i wanted to request one if they are still open. sorry if I bothered you if matchups are closed

im an adult and i would like a male matchup from genshin impact.

my zodiac is a sagittarius and my mbti is a entp, i don't really know my enneagram cause i find it kinda confusing. my personality is really a mix, im quite quiet in school and in times when I need to but with people I know im a very loud and affectionate person. I can be very cold sometimes as well but I don't get angry very easily, I like teasing my friends and basically laying on them since im always the shorter one. im very hyper most of the time and I have quite a good temper. Some things I like are sweets, clothing and books, I like eating sweet things I especially love dark chocolate. I bring sweets with me literally everywhere, I like buying clothes its a very bad hobby but I buy all kinds of clothes. I like reading as well, nothing better than a book in bed on a cold day. I have bookshelves of books. I don't have lots of hobbies but something I like these days is writing and dancing. I write a lot of short stories and fantasies on my own and I dance quite a lot. Its not professional dancing but I dance quite a lot, its just for fun. I'm like 5'6? and I have short hair to my collarbones and I wear glasses because Im very nearsighted. Im more on the petite and skinny side and I have brown eyes, I have chubby cheeks as well, my friends always like to squish my cheeks and call it cute. My general aesthetic is probably soft girl, I like pink and cute things, I like stuffies and beanie boos and those cute saniro characters. Something I look in a partner is probably loyalty and someone I can get along well with easily, I don't like being with someone who doesnt trust me and I can't show my real self to. I like hugs!! I like physical affection the most as well as compliments even if I get very flustered, I like PDA, I don't care what people think about me. I just want to show affection to my partner. thankyou!

꒰ ☕️ ꒱ؘ Order: Cappuccino ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

I match you up with . . . . ♡

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ຳི⟡᎒ KAEYA ✿ೃ*

. . ⇢ [ falling in love . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

The first instance kaeya ever heard of you was when Klee bursted into Jean’s office room just dying to say something. So then she explained (of course with Kaeya there looking at the situation with an amused expression)

Klee would explain how she was out in the wild (accidentally exposing that she was about to go fish blasting) when she accidentally tripped on a rock and scrapped her knee. Then she said how a pretty older sister came and gave her a cute (Sanrio probably) bandaid for her wound (Jean, later on, would ground Klee for attempting to go fish blasting again)

It was the second time that Klee mentioned you that Kaeya actually met you. He was in charge of looking after Klee for a day and so he and Klee were just walking around the city. (With kaeya plotting to encourage Klee to cause some trouble) this was when Klee tugged on kaeya and pointed on a direction “Kaeya! That’s the pretty older sister that helped me!” She would say before running off to greet you. That was the first time you meet kaeya

Ever since then, you would bump into kaeya more often. (Coincidence? Who know) and you two would have small chats and at some point, he would take you to a cafe or something for you two to chat longer. And with kaeya, time seems to fly by so fast because once you two start chatting, it doesn’t really end

Of course, even as friends, you are not immune to kaeya’s teasing and of course, you tease him back. This was the start of something blooming. Kaeya loves these moments and he really likes how energetic you are despite being seemingly quiet at first

He also loves the fact that he can basically forget everything when he is chatting with you. He doesn’t need to worry about his position as cavalry captain of the knights of favonius and other stuff and he also loves how you can keep up with his teasing and his personality

What made him fall for you was probably the brightening of your expression when you two meet randomly on the street or on a planned friend excursion. He genuinely finds himself enjoying being with you and in your presence. And his heart beats quicker too. Something that doesn’t happen. And that was the moment he knew he was smitten

(I feel like someone like Lisa would be able to tell based on the fact that Kaeya acts somewhat more differently around you than he does with others)

. . ⇢ [ confessing . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

Kaeya is definitely a romantic person who is pretty well versed in love unlike his brother. And so when it comes to confession, he would do it after confirmation of his feelings and in a romantic way as well

He would probably do it the traditional way of taking you on a classy restaurant (or if you don’t like that, then setting up a similar atmosphere at his home with candles and roses and such and his own cooking)

He would be very flirtatious and his words all have romantic undertones. He would be a bit more touchy too (of course, would stop if he sees you uncomfortable with it) and by touchy I mean brushing your hands against each other, wiping off the corners of your mouth, etc

And after dinner, he would take you on a walk where you two would stop and look at a pretty night scenery. And he would turn to your and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear all while looking directly into your eyes. And if it wasn’t obvious that he liked you, it would kinda be obvious with the way he was looking at you

It would be then that he confesses his feelings towards you. He would make it simple and not really poetic. At that point, he would probably be feeling a little impatient and wants to say that he likes you and find out if you also had the same feelings as well

. . ⇢ [ dating . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

Kaeya is a huge tease. So people would often find you teasing each other. But it always ends with Kaeya’s smug face and you a blushing mess because he is just so smooth with his words. And Kaeya lives for your expression as well as your little teasing banter—especially when you are flushed (he will tease you. Exihibit A: “oh? How come your face is so red? Is it…” he leans in to your ear, “because of me?” He would whisper)

He will 10000% give you pet names. Some endearing and some embarrassing just to see you blush. Like it includes but not limited to: Angel, Princess, babe, honey, munchkin, love, honeybun, etc…

Another thing is that Kaeya loves you and your affectionate tendencies. (“You miss me so much? You just couldn’t resist me huh?”) he will return your hugs and cuddles but not without teasing you first. And when you two are hugging or cuddling, he would run his fingers through your hair and place butterfly kisses on your head.

Kaeya usually has a cheery/conniving facial expression. Kinda like a fox. You don’t know what he is scheming. But when he looks at you, his eye is filled with adoration and love that one cannot miss. And they can definitely distinguish it from his usual expression. He is 10/10 softer with you even though he is relentless with his teasing

When Kaeya patrols or strolls around and he sees something Sanrio, pink, cute things, or even a book, he would most likely buy it. And when he comes home, he would just place it on your head. “I saw this and it reminded me of you so I bought it.”

Even though he may not look like it, I think Kaeya reads books a lot. And you two would often recommend each other books and read with each other in the knights of favonius library. (In times like those, Lisa would just chuckle while looking from afar. She finds it hard to believe that kaeya out of all people found someone like you)

Kaeya probably has a reputation of being flirtatious, but after making it official with you, he stops the flirtations with others and reserves it for you. He values loyalty and since he expects it from you, it’s natural that he should be loyal too. He would brush off all attempts of flirting to him and say “I have a very beautiful girlfriend who I love.” (When you are there, he would put both hands on your shoulders and gently push you towards his chest and say that)

I don’t see Kaeya as a person who loves sweets but I think he is the type who would prefer dark chocolate if he was given the choice. (And if you offer him some dark chocolate, he would smile and place his hands around your wrist and guide it to his mouth so that it looked as if you fed him)

but ever since meeting you, kaeya would start carrying your favourite sweets around. Like you randomly visited him at the knights of favonius one day when he randomly gave you a bag of your favourite sweets. And there was another time where you were rambling about your day when kaeya plops something in your mouth—your favourite sweets

Kaeya feeds into your bad habit of shopping for clothes and even probably encourages it. He would randomly take you out to a clothing store just to see you try on clothes and model it for him… all for him to buy it all… (when you ask where the money comes from he just chuckles. But it’s legal… probably.)

With Kaeya you would never have to worry about getting angry at someone or another party (maybe at him during a fight but that’s another story). He would come in and stand in front of you and smoothly and sweet talk his way to diffuse the situation. But to the other party, there is a clear and evident tone of warning. And you really can’t miss the threatening and piercing glare hidden beneath an amicable and friendly smile

He is protective of you to some degree. (Especially if you don’t have a vision) He is also quite the gentleman. He would walk on the road side of the side walk, open doors for you, seat you in a chair, and give you his jacket when you seem to be cold, etc. he is also quite vigilant. When he sees you are uncomfortable the previous bullet point would happen

Kaeya is mean but in a loving way. When you are looking for your glasses, patting around the surface to find them because you can’t see, Kaeya would chuckle at how cute you are being and get your glasses… but hold them just out of your reach… “your glasses are here” “where?” “Here” he said as he moves your glasses away each time your fingers comes close to it (you would come to catch on and that is when he laughs and gives it back to you by putting your glasses on your face himself)

You would often find yourself dancing with kaeya. It could be a freestyle dance with him or a more slow romantic couple dance (I forgot what it’s called) with soft record player playing in the background. When you are doing those dances, he would bring you close to him and just look lovingly in your eyes

Kaeya does this thing that whenever you two meet up for a date or something, he would go and reach for your hand to hold it, but only to kiss the back of your hand in the process and then hold your hand to drag you to your date destination. It seems like a very kaeya thing to do

Another thing he does is that he purposefully ruffles your hair only to tidy it up afterwards but he always manages to sneak in a kiss

. . ⇢ [ couple pics . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

. . ⇢ [ other compatibles . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

.˚🌙 ༘┊͙ arataki itto ;

Itto, like your friends, loves to squish your cheeks. He finds you very very very cute when he does it and he can’t help but to squish your cheeks sometimes. It’s kinda his form of affection. And speaking of affection, Itto would probably be very big on affection. He loves cuddling and having you in his arms as well as holding your hand. (And to him, it would be a big ego boost considering the size difference.) and he would definitely let you lay on him. As a matter in fact, it’s encouraged. (I would take advantage of that I mean… 👀)

Itto is tall. and on what world is 5’6 short I’m crying here in 4’11. And he is taller than you. Another ego boost is when you ask him to take things off of the shelf for you. Itto would get the thing off the shelf for you, but it’s at a cost. He would just point as his cheek while smiling and wouldn’t give you whatever you asked him to get unless you kissed him or something

Tease itto whenever and wherever and he will blush. He will be redder than Rudolph’s nose. And I think he will be all shy. And it’s really entertaining seeing someone as tough looking as Itto diminished into a blushing mess because of his girlfriend. It really is a sight to behold so please tease him <3

. . . . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,, this was very very cute to write and I hope you enjoy 💖✨💕🫂 ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

#.˚☕️ ༘ cappuccino #genshin #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact matchups #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #kaeya x reader #kaeya #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya alberich #arataki x reader #arataki itto #arataki itto x reader

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blmpff · 2 days

Text

NET SIRAPHOP 27.04.24

#net siraphop #thai actors #im not immune to collarbones #photos taken before the invention of shirts #blmpff

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hyphypmic · 5 years

Note

MTC & BB w/ a fem!s/o who is naturally seductive without even trying?

Dear Anon, how dare you abuse my horny. But alas, even my ass needs to be pleased. Thank you so much for the request!

Ichiro

Oh boy, he’s just lost

When she trails her fingers on his collarbone, he has to use tons of restraint because his brothers are literally attached to his him

When she bites her lip, he has to excuse himself for a while to check (or take care of) Ichiro junior

If they’re alone, he’d love watching her writhe and make those sounds and coax them out of her, but he isn’t the kinky type, he strikes me as a bit of vanilla if anything

And really sometimes he just stands to appreciate and stares at her so much because damn he can’t believe

Ichiro goes the extra mile to get his brothers out of the house when he just needs to take her

Jiro

If Ichiro is lost, he’s just lost even more

However, I’m led to believe that Jiro is hella a lot kinkier than Ichiro

Is PDA to the max whenever she does anything

He loves those curves and those tight fitting clothes and his teen brain is just… you know

Always praises her and when she dresses up, jaw drop as in the biggest ever jaw drop

On every single date he’s just staring

Saburo

Saburo has a different kind of seductive

Like I don’t think he’d go for the sexy temptress kind of thing, but if he does, it wouldn’t be really his type

The poor child really, he’s so lost on what to do, but he does the fluffiest things ever with her if he’s genuinely attractive

Everyone is jealous of the nerd boy with the hot girl

Samatoki

MTC? Did you mean its horny hour

Anyway, Samatoki respects women with all of his soul and his might, but he would proudly show off his girl even in between meetings

However his girl can also kick ass, so show her off he will

Make-out during meetings? Use her as a distraction and an excuse to beat up people who stare at her? Of course

He’d do everything with consent of course, but rough he likes it

Hates being interrupted when they’re having against the wall

Yikes im a thirsty MTC hoe

She also dominates him and he loves it because he can watch her sink onto him

Jyuto

writing this does not help my horny ass how dare you do this to me

Anyway, seductive plus seductive is a seductive war

Like fuck damn this couple is really just out there trying to out flirt each other

Well it gets annoying at some times

No way out of PDA, like he’s really all over her

Kinkiest sex ever WITH CONSENT

Fingering in public, thank you and have a good night

Handcuffs, gags, nipple clamps, anything to please this temptress

Riou

Ah, this man, not immune to the charms of the female body, but it took a while

He does that thing where he’s quiet and just sneaks up and kisses because he wants to fuckin dominate

But of course, he’s the type to watch you touch yourself (since when did I change to you? Oh well, let’s keep it that way because dear reader, you are seductive without trying)

He’d really love observing you and treating you like you’re the best

If anything, he strips faster than ever when your lip bite becomes way too much (and believe me, sometimes it will)

Oh god when you dress up, I hope it’s not expensive because clothes will be ripped

Captain America becomes a whimpering mess if you don’t let him finish inside you

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis microphone #buster bros #ichiro yamada #jiro yamada #saburo yamada #mad trigger crew #samatoki aohitsugi #jyuto iruma #riou busujima #naturally seductive #headcanon

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theeurekaproject · 4 years

Text

Imperatrix in Alba

“Acidalia-Planitia Cipher, are you willing to take this oath?” “I am.”

“Do you solemnly promise and swear to govern the people of the empire of Eleutheria, and the dominions thereto belonging, with righteousness and mercy?”

“I do.”

“Will you, to the best of your ability, preserve, protect and defend the virtues upon which Eleutheria was built?”

“I will.”

“Will you, to the utmost of your power, further the pursuit of knowledge in this realm, protect the liberty of the peoples upon which you reign, and serve your subjects dutifully through peace and war, health and plague, life and death?” “All this I swear to do. The things which I have here before promised, I will perform, and keep.”

As Acidalia finished the vows, she felt her mother’s eyes upon her, shining a strange and alien blue. The glow glinted off the platinum of the Imperial coronet, as bright as the sapphires that made up Neptune and the lapis lazuli of Earth’s sky. She didn’t look very enthusiastic about relinquishing the crown; who would? Nobody wanted to be the Imperatrix who put a bastard child on the throne.

***

Eleutheria always came to life at night; this evening, as they celebrated a new sovereign and a new era, was no different. Flashes of light fell from the sky in a stunning display of starbursts, casting an orange glow over the river’s sparkling surface. Pinpoints of luminescence glowed in the sky, the lights of thousands of spacecraft celebrating their nation’s newest monarch. Far beneath the palace, people sang the Imperial anthem in one massive chorus, interspersed with occasional interjections of “Vivat Imperatrix!”

“At least somebody is happy that I’m alive,” Acidalia remarked.

Her brother laughed. “Eh, they probably want to kill you too. They just don’t know it yet.”

“Nice, T,” she said, knowing he was right. The majority of Eleutheria’s people loved Acidalia like they’d loved every other Imperatrix before her, from her ancestors to her mother, but those who didn’t… well, they were the loudest voices, and they were heard the most. People were already calling for her death and it’d just been a few hours since she’d been crowned.

“I’m not joking, you know,” he said. “Keep your eyes open. Do you know how much danger you’re in already? You’re standing out here on a balcony without even a guard to keep you safe—“

“I know you aren’t a murderer, T,” she replied.

“But what if I had been? What if I decided to shoot you dead right now and steal that crown off your head? It’s not out of the question, you know. Sororicide.” He looked pointedly at her. “I wouldn’t do it, but—“

“—others might,” she concluded, sighing. “I know that better than anyone.”

“You’re smart, but you’re not invulnerable,” T said, “and I worry about you. It’s dangerous up here.”

“As if you live more safely?” she asked. “You’re going down to ground level later today. That’s incredibly dangerous.” “Well, on ground level nobody is actively trying to kill me and me specifically,” he sighed. “You should have listened to me ages ago and just run away to Mars and left this horror show behind before this turns into another War of the Roses.”

“War of the Roses? There aren’t enough noble houses for that anymore,” she said. “Besides, what kind of leader would I be if I just up and abandoned my civilization? We’ve been on the edge of another civil war for years. Our father is irrelevant; people are ready to kill each other with every new law passed.”

“Yes, but we certainly don’t help,” he sighed. “You should have been born male. Then she could just throw you in the army and tell people you don't exist like she does with me.”

“Sometimes I wish I had been a boy. Then I couldn't be the dauphine.” Acidalia traced the ornate carvings on the railing of the balcony, made of marble and glass. “But I’ve been in this position for two decades. I’ve been training to take the throne, and the capabilities it provides, since I was born. I can’t just abandon it now; it would lead to a war of succession.” “No it wouldn’t,” he said. “Principissa Aleskynn.”

“Aleskynn is not capable of any kind of leadership right now,” Acidalia argued. “And she’s only thirteen. She may be of high-breeding, but people would still be angry that Alestra could stay regent for the next seven years. And you know our mother; she’d never want to give that up. She’d sooner kill Leski.”

“She’d sooner kill you,” T said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you went the same way as Avina, Harmonia, Celestia—“

“I’m not as naïve as Celestia or as stupid as Harmonia,” Acidalia replied, “and I have a better cult of personality than Avina. My mother wouldn’t kill me now. She knows the outrage it would cause, and she is nowhere near prepared to deal with another war, not while we’re fighting this ridiculous war of attrition.” She motioned towards the sky. “I have no idea why we’re still trying with the Mira. Nobody’s going to win. We need to start diplomatic talks immediately instead of just firing guns at each other, gaining no territory and no resources, because our ancestors insulted their ancestors centuries ago.”

“I’m less worried about the aliens in the sky and more worried about the war down here.” T glanced at the doorway skittishly. “Listen, Alestra may not kill you yet, but you know she’s going to try. And even if she doesn’t get to you first, one of her followers will. Just because she’s smart and patient doesn’t mean the rest of the Nova are.”

“Listen, T,” Acidalia said, “I understand what you’re trying to do. You want me to be safe, and I want you to be safe, too. But you know that my safety is secondary to the safety of my people and my planet. That's the sacrifice you make when you become a monarch."

"You don't have to make that sacrifice," T said. "Leave with me." "I can't do that." She looked down across the expanse of the city, the lights sparkling between buildings like a starscape. "I'm a servant of this state. If service means I have to die, then so be it." "You sound like when they start indoctrinating the little boys who all think dying in battle is romantic. They act like it's some glamorous, honorable thing to die at the hands of the military machine that sends fifteen-year-olds into battle without the consent of anyone involved." He shook his head. "If there's anything the army has taught me, it's that sacrificing your life for this empire is worthless. A hundred million people can die and what will Alestra do but replace them with more soldiers? If you die, they'll just replace you with our little sister and continue on as normal, and the wars will happen anyway. It's not worth it, and we need you." "Don't mention that," Acidalia warned. "Not here." She spared a glance at her surroundings, careful not to let anyone overhear. "I've been doing this for a very long time, T. I will be okay. I'm a good shot, I have the Imperial Guard, and everyone in our movement is looking out for me. If an assassination attempt happens—and I'm not saying it won't, it's a very real possibility—I will probably make it out alive. And if I don't, I'm a martyr. My postmortem impact will be just as large as that of my life—people will rally around me, and that'll be excellent for propaganda."

T sighed. "Listen, I just... I've seen enough people die. I don't need my big sister dead, too."

He suddenly looked very young, his dark face lit only by the occasional bursts of fireworks, big brown eyes shining in the sporadic showers of light. He and Acidalia lacked the Cipher eyes—bright blue irises flashing with gold and green, the symbol of the Imperial family for generations. There was nothing that screamed bastard more than plain brown eyes.

"We have this argument every time we meet," Acidalia said, "and I'm not dead yet." She knew how hollow her words sounded; there was a very real chance that she'd be dead on the morrow, poisoned or shot or stabbed by somebody seeking her throne.

"Yet being the key word here." T frowned. "All I'm saying is that you have to be careful. Don't underestimate what our family can do." Acidalia thought back to snapped ankles and burning pointe shoes, broken tiaras, shards of crystal and quartz on the floor of her bedroom, smashed computer screens and holographic projectors, bruises on her collarbone hidden with concealer. There was no denying that Alestra had a temper, and she'd do whatever it took to get the planet back under her control. "I won't," Acidalia said.

"Promise me you'll be careful?"

"I swear." She smiled in an attempt to be reassuring. They stood there in the darkness, together but not speaking, until a harsh male voice rang out from behind them.

"Immunus TB-2115, what the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing," T said, rolling his eyes. He was as high-ranking as his birth warranted—a full fledged, three star immune at seventeen—but even immunes had to listen to their superior officers.

"Really," Acidalia said, "it's of no bother."

"I beg your pardon, ma'am," he said, suddenly flustered. Acidalia had forgotten in the aftermath of the coronation that she was now the commander in chief (or perhaps co-commander in chief, alongside her mother) of the Eleutherian army, fractured as it was. Something was funny and a little surreal about watching these grizzled praetors, combat veterans, fall over themselves to obey her, a barely 20-year-old girl in a white dress and a crown.

"Pardon granted," she said, smiling slightly. He relaxed, not significantly, but enough for it to be noticeable.

"If you'll allow me to retrieve this young immune, he needs to be in place for the ceremony—"

"Of course." She nodded her head. "It was a pleasure speaking with you. I hope to discuss this matter with you again."

"Likewise." T held out a gloved hand, which Acidalia shook. He slipped a tiny, discrete data chip into her palm, affixed to a sheet of paper. As T left with his superior officer, Acidalia turned towards the balcony again and unfolded it.

Weekly updats was written on the label. Acidalia recognized the handwriting immediately as that of her friend Andromeda, fellow Revolutionary. She'd misspelled "updates." Making a mental note to check it later, and thanking God that her coronation dress had pockets, she slipped it into a slit cut into the ballgown's skirt.

She didn't even remember which ceremony was coming next. Another parade, another wardrobe change, another interview—she was starting to lose track. It was probably the flyover of the starcraft and aircraft belonging to the Eleutherian military. She slipped her high heels back on—they were absolutely massive, six inches tall, and she'd been trying to keep them off of her feet for as long as possible—and set out for the corridor. Evidently everyone had been so busy keeping track of the coronation that they'd forgotten to keep track of the Imperatrix herself, because the hallway was deserted.

She rejoined the procession outside under a grove of cherry trees. They were officially supposed to be a gift from Iaponia, but it was common knowledge that Alestra had simply taken them for her own, and nobody had been brave enough to argue the matter with her. Acidalia’s ladies-in-waiting sat alongside those of her sister and her mother, creating a disorganized mess of babbling, twittering young women. As Acidalia approached, they arranged themselves into a complex pattern, organized according to a rank and order Acidalia didn't remember. She had a dozen or so ladies in waiting, but she couldn’t recall any of their names. They came and went like the wind, and they were tried for treason and executed so often that she found it fruitless to even attempt getting closer to them. Not that any self-respecting lady of the court would want a relationship with the Martian half-bred anyway, Imperatrix or not.

Acidalia was right at the front of the procession, flanked by her entourage and the Imperial Guard, a colorful mix of caste Magistratum and actual military officers. Two Aquilifers from two different legions bore eagles on each side, for ancient America and ancient Rome, while more Signiferi held spears and swordsof various sizes. Acidalia had long forgotten their symbolism, if they even had any to begin with—her mother always liked to introduce more meaningless customs and traditions that existed only to increase the size of her ego. The endless drone of the cornicenes and their clarions combined with the bang! of falling fireworks began to give her a migraine, causing her pulse to beat audibly in her ears.

"I have a headache," Aleskynn complained, stepping up beside her. She technically wasn't supposed to be standing up here, being a principissa and one rank lower than the Imperatrix Ceasarina, but nobody seemed to care much. She was the daughter of Alestra Cipher and a specially-selected, genetically perfect soldier, while Acidalia was the product of her mother's affair with a Martian man—it wasn't difficult to see why the planet favored Aleskynn. She was fully Eleutherian, the spitting image of her mother in name and appearance, and the whole empire's darling, with her curly blonde locks and bright Cipher eyes.

"So do I," Acidalia muttered, though she doubted anyone could hear her. Still, she marched onwards, trying to catch a glimpse of her brother, hidden someplace among the other immuni.

"This is stupid. I want to go home," Aleskynn whined. "The planet doesn't want you, anyway. This should be my coronation."

"There's no law stating that one must be the child of a specific man to inherit the throne," Acidalia said mildly. "The code says only that one must be the eldest daughter of the former Imperatrix and be at least twenty years of age."

"I don't care if it's a law, it's a president." "Precedent." "Whatever. This is dumb." She looked around at her ensemble for reenforcement. A gaggle of teenage girls offered up their mostly irrelevant opinions—"yeah, Aleskynn, this is so dumb!" "This is totally ridiculous!" "You're so pretty, Aleskynn!"—while Acidalia's own court ladies remained suspiciously silent.

Of all the women around her, Acidalia could only recognize a few. There was Cassiopeia Generalis, last of her name, the famously unhinged and violent Nova supporter who would probably sell Acidalia's soul to Satan for one credit. Next to Cassiopeia was Proregina Artemis Minora, back from the the Lunar Colonies for a week to pretend she cared about all this excessive celebration. On her wrist was a bracelet that Andromeda had given to her for her fourteenth birthday a decade ago; Artemis was also a member of the Revolution, but Alestra didn't need to know that. It made Acidalia feel slightly better that at least one other person here wanted to keep her alive, though that one person would be returning to the Moon come morning. Artemis snuck her a glance and smiled, pointing to the bracelet. Acidalia smiled back.

Then there were heaps of other women who all looked the same, with white-blonde hair and artificially bright eyes. They copied the trends Alestra set, making Acidalia's dark hair and warm skin stand out in the crowd even more. Despite the variety in their ages, they all looked twenty-something, and they'd probably look like that forever, thanks to the wonders of genetic modifications and cosmetic surgery—not that Acidalia hadn't been put through the same processes herself, before her mother realized that no amount of silicone could change the fact that she was Martian, and had declared it the same as putting lipstick on a pig.

In between the ladies of the court and the servants of the rich, she spotted a few notable outliers: the daughter of a member of the Imperial Guard, wearing the uniform of the position she’d one day inherit; the CEO of one of those mega corporations that practically worked as its own little government; some particularly important “journalist” who’d recently been granted the Imperial Medal of Freedom for a piece she’d written glorifying one of Alestra’s latest bloody, violent attacks on an organization she suspected of being a rebellion. They were unique, certainly more so than the dozens of identical ladies-in-waiting, but they all deserved to be here, clearly. But next to Aleskynn sat another girl, a girl with soft gray hair and a dress with the tag still on it, and Acidalia felt the hair on the back of her neck rise.

Sororicide is not out of the question, she reminded herself, wondering who here could be a spy. But Aleskynn spoke to the girl like she was a friend, and Acidalia doubted somehow that Aleskynn would think of a plot this obvious. Strategy was never her sister’s strong suit, so Acidalia breathed in deeply and tried to relax. She muttered a word of greeting to the stranger, who looked as if she’d just been personally blessed by God himself.

The crowds all blended into one another, fading into one mass under an inky black sky. On a planet of billions, the 1% was more numerous than Acidalia ever could have imagined, even though she’d spent her whole life around them. There were aristocrats—dozens of them, from the last of the Generalises to the daughters of the prolific house Dictatorum—in rows, all in white and gilded platinum. Then there were celebrities, famous actresses and musicians of caste Incentor, tirelessly working to keep up their stage personas. There were war heroes and police heroes, men and women in uniforms that looked the same save for the color scheme; Eleutheria had long since stopped pretending the military and the police force were any different. And finally, there were literati: intellectuals, researchers, scientists and writers, nurses and doctors, the people who kept society together, who kept humanity striving towards the future and made money for themselves in the process.

And then, scattered between the affluents, the “haves,” were the “have nots.” Harried Suffragia whose votes didn’t matter any more than their voices, dead-eyed Cantatores who were only free on paper, pretty young women with futures as dim as the evening sky. They were hard to ignore, specks of black clothes in an ocean of white.

One of them, a girl whose thick, wavy curls and elegant features couldn’t take the attention away from the emptiness in her eyes, helped Acidalia into a carriage. Afterwards, she looked at her hand like she’d just been touched by a god. To her, a simple touch from royalty might be the best, most memorable achievement of her life. Acidalia felt like having such an impact on somebody else should have felt nice, but it was too strange to even really think about. What separated the Imperatrix from a Cantator but circumstances, anyway?

She touched the data chip in her pocket. She couldn’t feel its engravings beneath her silken gloves, but it was there.

In front of her, the horses moved slowly, painfully. Alestra had wanted pegasi, so pegasi there were; horrific genetic abominations, horse DNA and bird DNA forcibly stitched together by somebody who hadn’t done a very good job of it. The animals were miserable, but they looked good on camera, despite the fact that they were never supposed to exist. Alestra could bend the laws of nature if she so desired; she was only slightly less powerful than a god.

Well, two could play at that game. Ciphers were Ciphers, regardless of whether they were perfectly bred super soldiers’ daughters or half-bred Martian bastard children.

But that didn’t matter yet. Acidalia hoped it never would.

She tried to turn her attention back to the procession and the fireworks, but her mind kept wandering back to her brother, back to the data chip in her pocket, back to the Revolution. Back to things that could get her killed. Occasionally she’d see a flash of blue and make eye contact with Alestra, which was somewhat akin to looking at the sun; the image burned itself into her retinas, glowing every time she closed her eyes. There was no escaping from her watchful, icy gaze, not even for Acidalia, her newly crowned co-ruler but her least favorite daughter. Her irises were the palest blue, white-hot, as dangerous as a strange star, and her pupils were a black hole from which nothing could emerge. Acidalia knew, logically, that she was as human as any other, but that was difficult to believe, watching her stand in the moonlight, looking as ethereal as she was terrifying.

Nobody saw Alestra’s dark side like Acidalia did. They thought of her as a strict ruler but a good leader. She crushed dissent with an iron fist and killed with ease anyone who dared oppose her; of course everyone thought she was brilliant, they had no choice not to. But even with the threats and propaganda aside, the people knew that as tyrannical as Alestra was, she at least brought stability to a volatile empire. There could be no civil wars when every revolution was squashed down the second it emerged.

Well, every revolution except one.

#eurekaproject #on the edge of eureka #POV Acidalia #Acidalia #T #Alestra

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pravasiga · 7 years

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June 19, 2017 - Wabi-Sabi: (Im)perfection.

Wabi-Sabi: (n.) "the quality of being attractive because of being imperfect in some way...wabi-sabi suggests that we see the flaw as being part of what is charming. Can apply to pots, furniture, houses - and whole lives." Origin: Japanese.

Trigger Warning: Body Image and Expectations

I wasn't sure how to start this post to be frank with you. I spent a few hours aimlessly looking around for a word to inspire me to make sense of a whole collection of experiences that I've felt since I've been here. Perhaps the most personal post I've made in a long time, I realized that in the last few years, I've lost my confidence in writing because as I grew up, so did my insecurities, so did my stress levels, and so did my ability to self-doubt. Part of my journey towards writing again is the willingness to be honest, to go deeper, to go pick at the scars that haven't healed properly.

As evidence by the slew of Instagram photos that I've been spamming you all with, being in India meant a change in what I'm used to wearing. For those of you that go to school with me, you know that I stick to a steady stream of sweaters and sweatpants because quite frankly if I have to suffer at college, I might as well be comfortable and warm while I do it. When I go shopping, I go straight to the larger and plus sizes. I thought I had learned to stop being disappointed at finding few items that fit and learned to seek out alternatives. But in India, where I have had to buy new clothes and adjust to a brand new style, I've had my fair share of struggles with body image, grappling with an age-old insecurity that has only worsened with the years and only has been exacerbated by hurtful comments, overactive paranoia, and the desperate need to prove to myself that I can do and be better. One of the biggest things that this trip has forced me to confront was a personal journey that I had long been avoiding - the burden I have borne my entire life regarding Asian-American, feminine, and personal expectations on body image and size.

But I don't owe anyone the debt of feeling sorry for who I am, and wearing my first sari, an ensemble that asks me to bare a part of my body that I have spent most of my life hiding, gave me a burst of confidence that there is so much that I should not and will not be ashamed of. I thank you, ahead of time, for reading this post, and hope that you recognize that this post is an expression of freeing myself from some of the worst thoughts I've had, in pursuit of self-acceptance and integrating the imperfect into the (I'm)perfect.

*If you would like to talk, if this post triggers you, I am here for you. As much as I can be with this spacey wifi. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- When yet another size XXL kurta (long shirt) barely made it down over my chest, I was prepared to shed a few tears. The straight, narrow cut of the cloth was not made to fit me and in the dim-lit dressing room, I could only stare at my reflection and feel the same old thoughts come back. If only you had actually used your gym membership this year instead of being lazy. If only you could have foregone that McDonald's meal at the airport. If only you could have just, for once in your life, been smaller. Coupled with a time constraint and limited inventory, I was absolutely exasperated with myself. I had to somehow, find enough salwar kameez combinations to make it through the rest of the summer and so far, all I could be absolutely sure of was that my dupatta (scarf) was not going to be a problem. Though I later was to learn that most Indian women would tailor their clothes or alter it in ways to fit, the pain of quite literally, not fitting into, the new culture and society that I was going to engage with, was enormously difficult to bear. Even at 20 years old, having been overweight all my life, I was not immune to the dread of yanking off a clothing item that didn't fit, praying that no seams would rip.

A Chinese-American woman, I learned at a young age that I didn't fit the mold. I grew up seeing skinny women on runways, in my magazines, and TV-shows. I was fortunate to grow up in a family where my grandfather used to touch the skin on my arm and smile proudly, telling me that my yellow skin ('jing huang pi fu', he would say), golden and luminous, was beautiful. My grandparents were always the most insistent that their grandchildren never forgot to appreciate and love their roots, to continue a proud story that had crossed the Pacific Ocean, weathered world wars, and landed in a strange new country. Save for a brief infatuation with Cinderella where I stubbornly stated that I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes because "that was what princesses looked like", I grew up in love with my long, straight black hair, especially when I could brush it until it gleamed. I used to stare in the mirror at my dark brown eyes, trying to discern the exact rich chocolate brown-black shade of my irises. I decided early on that no matter what color they were, they held light and enthusiasm for life. Enveloped in love, emboldened in a household of two tongues - English and the warm embrace of my ancestors' Mandarin - I was raised in love with my Chinese heritage. But with this, I inherited expectations that would prove to be most constant source of my self-esteem issues - I have never been petite, slender, or thin.

I take a second to dodge questions about my health to simply state that regardless of that condition, it has never warranted the kind of overwhelming pressure to have collarbones that could hold rolls of quarters (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Country-goes-wild-new-social-m…) or a waist that could hide behind a sheet of paper (http://www.nbc26.com/…/asian-women-are-pressured-to-be-peti…). I have never felt quite at home within the Chinese-American community because I have never been able to shake the shame of not fitting what I saw as the ideal Chinese-American woman. It is assumed that our bodies are meant to be a certain way and that it is woven into my DNA to be a porcelain doll, slim and well-proportioned.

I come from a family where love is shared in food, love is communicated in asking about health, and love is given by pinching cheeks and unfortunately, openly asking about my body weight. When my family comments on my waist before my college experience or when I get asked questions, I get asked about my SAT, my GPA, my weight, the amount of times I've gone to the gym far before I get asked about my mental well-being and happiness. I grew up understanding that this was how love was shown sometimes, even when it would twist in too-round stomach and curb my appetite. I have grown up always feeling like my answer was never good enough. I have grown up understanding that this was something I had to desperately change, not simply out of concern for my health, but because - what would other people think? "We just don't want other people to make fun of you," relatives would assure me, "You're a beautiful girl, but you should lose weight."

And so it goes.

I scrambled to find kurtas that fit and while I was able to find some, I couldn't lift the feeling of defeat that followed me out of the door of Big Bazaar, onto the van, and back into my hostel room. I had been so excited to go shopping for those loose garments, wrongly guessing that such loose fabrics and clothes would be easier to fit into. Even though many of my team members expressed similar frustration of finding clothes that fit, I tuned it all out, I tried to hold myself above wallowing but I couldn't help but sink in. That night, I ate less than half of what I had been given for dinner. I felt like I could have burst out of my skin every single time food passed my lips.

When we got the chance to buy saris, I tried to put a lid on the excitement. A sari is a long piece of fabric (anywhere from 5 to 9 yards), often beautifully decorated, meant to be wrapped around the body to form a skirt and to drape over the shoulder. (Side note: it is so hard to tie this damn thing, I tried and ended up hopping around the room trying to keep everything in place). We had been invited to the wedding of the son of a local technology company, known for its dedication to employing those with mental disabilities and pushing for similar practices in other companies. But I was focused not appearing lumpy, misshapen, and enormous in my sari. I was most afraid of what my rolls of stomach fat would look like, hanging out of the skirt, or worse, not fitting in at all.

The sari store was stuffed to the brim with gorgeous fabrics and I remember my breath being taken away as I ran my fingers along the ornamentally decorated trims of red, blue, purple, golden - every color of the rainbow - saris. I had long decided to go with a red sari, taking a lesson from my prom dress shopping fiasco that red, in fact was my "power color". I tried sari after sari, and as the women who worked at the store hastily tied and rolled me repeatedly into increasingly beautiful fabrics, I couldn't help but focus on everyone around me, finding their perfect sari. Between indecision and an inability to be satisfied by anything I had seen so far, I began to feel that same sense of dread that I had experienced the week before in the dressing room. I began to feel like a little girl trying to play dress-up, attempting to mimic an imaginary standard that was always meant to be above my grasp. Time was running out and I was among the last people to choose - and of the few I had tried on, I just felt completely out of place in all of them. I begged the women to let me try one more on - a red sari with tear-drop gold embroidery, and a golden-green trim. I reviewed the photos a friend helped take of me, and still couldn't bring myself to love it. But in all honesty, I don't know what I had more difficulty loving - the sari, or myself.

I bought the sari anyways. I didn't have time to find another one and this was the best I had found from the bunch. I kept my negative thoughts deep in my belly, swallowed to prevent them from reaching the surface. I told myself that I would just have to learn to wear it, learn to love it for all the other aspects. The fabric was beautiful - there was no doubt in that. I would have to do my best to fit myself in its folds and present as little trouble to the tailor in the next few weeks.

The week flew. We got fit for the tiny blouses (which were MUCH shorter than I expected) and patiently waited for our first chance to wear our beautiful new garments. In my room, I clumsily tried to imitate what I had learned from the women at store and "tied" my first sari. I have a long way to go. Getting those folds perfectly evenly and crisp much be a superhuman talent, honestly. I have incredible respect for anyone who can do it perfectly.

But of course, this is a blog post with a happy ending. The first time I was properly tied into my sari, with the little red blouse, my hair swept back, and my favorite red lipstick on, I was floored. I had tried pulling my petticoat up as high as I could, to hide as much of the skin that peeked out, a fact that the women helping us tie our saris noticed. They originally had pinned part of the draped fabric to my blouse, to form a curtain over the expanse of waist that I had hidden for so much of my life. Staring in the mirror, turning and feeling the fabric swirl around my feet, I unpinned that little curtain and tucked it back into my skirt. And I gave myself time to appreciate the form in front of me, a force in red, gold, yellow, and black. In that moment, I thought little of the expectations that I had carried on my back all my life. I didn't feel hidden under the beautiful fabric nor did I feel that the sari was wearing me. The body that I had spent so many years of my life berating, squeezing, hiding, was perfectly displayed.

It was a breath of fresh air, it was freedom from a restriction I had long placed on myself. And you damn well know I had to take a million photos to celebrate.

But more importantly, it is a reminder. It is a reminder that for all the comments of my family, I come from a long line of strong, sturdy women. Women whose hands and arms bore equal weight as the men in my lineage, women who were mothers and doctors and businesswomen and accountants and caretakers and brilliant and brave. Never had I once questioned whether they were fantastic role models. Never once have I questioned their beauty, their grace, their strength. So size zero be damned, I know that I may never fit into anything at half of the store I stop by, but what there is of me, I will love, I will cherish, and I will protect. And so should you, you fantastic, incredible, wonderful human being.

Dhanyavada galu (thank you) Ninna gelati (your friend), Winnie

PS: The wedding was also amazing and great and wow so many people I can't believe they just literally let 30 random Americans in at the last second. Congratulations to the bride and groom!

PPS: I learned the hard way how hard it is to pee in a sari and let me just tell you it involves a lot of folding, clutching, and praying.

PPPS: Photo credits to my least-favorite person and kind-of favorite photographer, Anant Sriram because bless that camera and his patience for dealing with my idiocy and basicness.

PPPPS: I love all of you, just the way you are.

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