V8 Ch 4 and Qrow’s speech about Clover.  And how we talk about how a character grieves, versus how grief is handled by writers.

So I really shouldn’t post this tonight because it’s 4 am and I’m tired and I’ve been thinking about this too much today already and this is something I should read over more..... But I’ve got to get it out before I can try to sleep. So, first off I apologize if this comes across poorly, or overly confrontational. It’s not at all how I mean it and I’m genuinely not upset with literally anyone. Just seeing some things that have me thinking about this more and more and it has me a little concerned, and I want to talk about it a bit more directly. 

I’ll probably add to this later or clarify or something… I just had to get it out of my head. 

I already talked about this some in response to theonceoverthinker’s post about it, and I’m too tired to try to cover all of that again, so if you want more context on how I feel about this, and why, please go read it. 

But I’ve seen some more posts about this conversation, and while for the most part I agree with a lot of what’s being said (and often on both sides of whether or not this was a good speech from Qrow) there’s one thing that I do want to address a little more that I think a lot of people aren’t aware of. 

In talking about this it’s important that we differentiate between having a problem with how we think the writers are going to use this speech to frame things, and having a problem with the fact that Qrow said what he said in the context of his current emotional state and grieving process. 

Do I think this was just amazing perfect writing and handling of Qrow expressing these feelings? Absolutely not. I have plenty of issues and really can’t say how I feel about it until I know where they are taking it/how they are using it to frame the entire situation.

Do I think it was just inherently awful callous dialogue that frames Clover as only important to Qrow because of his semblance and what that meant for Qrow/interaction with his semblance? 

Absolutely not. 

And that’s exactly where I have a bit of an issue. 

Because I totally understand people’s concern with that speech. And I have a very hard time right now trusting that CRWBY will handle it properly and not just use it to turn the narrative into blaming Clover. I don’t know if I trust them or not. I just don’t know. And that is deeply concerning. 

But the just surface of what Qrow said, without knowing how they will use it and further show his feelings, is not just the inherently awful thing I’m seeing some people take it as. And the reasons I’ve seen for people saying so, while completely valid things to take issue with in regards to CRWBY’s intentions in writing them, can’t just be blanket applied as issues with the fact that Qrow said them at all. (this is one of the things I feel fairly certain I’m not explaining well rn, and I’m just too tired to figure out. So I hope it at all makes sense).

My point is; depending on how things go from here on out, CRWBY may be completely wrong for why they included these lines and what they are having them mean. But Qrow, as a character, is not inherently wrong for having said or felt them. 

I can totally see why you would interpret these lines as concerning, and just plain poor takes on how to frame what happened in ch 12, and who to blame, and the nature of Clover’s importance to Qrow.. And like I said, it could very well be intended that way and negate everything I’m saying here. But by itself it’s not so black and white horrible. 

And this is exactly why I’m so nervous about how they handle Qrow’s grief. Because grief is a complicated thing. And what someone like me, who has processed a similar grief in a similar way, gets from this kind of scene can be very different to someone who hasn’t. And all of this said, I’m not trying to assume what anyone else has been through, or invalidate any grief, it’s very likely that others have dealt with a similar loss and feel very differently, or experienced their grief very differently. But, what I hope we all can agree on is that no one has the right to tell someone else they are grieving wrong. 

The thing about the kind of grief that Qrow is dealing with right now? It’s very rarely shown how people actually deal with it, especially in more than just one short scene. And if it is, it’s often romanticised and sterilized to be made into something easily understood by people who haven’t gone through anything like that. 

Because the truth is, this kind of grief is ugly. It’s complicated and contradicts itself. It can seem selfish and self absorbed. It is angry and reactionary. 

And it is very easy to say that what Qrow said is toxic or wrong. But it’s not. The intention the writers have in having him say it that way very well might be. But just what he said? 

Y’all that’s fucking grief. 

Fresh. Ugly. Messy. Angry. Confused. Tired. Grief. 

Healthy grief does not mean fair, clear headed, sensitive, open minded takes from the get go. 

Grief is incredibly flawed and unflattering.

And what concerns me is seeing people say it was outright terribly written dialogue, that was callous, and showed that Qrow didn’t really care about Clover beyond how he made him feel better about his semblance. 

Because when you’re grieving like that, one of the biggest fears is that people will tell you you are grieving wrong. That you’re being selfish. That you’re making it all about you. That somehow the way you are grieving proves that you didn’t really love the person as much as you thought. That if you just loved them more, if you were less selfish, if you were just a better person, you wouldn’t think those kinds of things.

And you internalise that shit. You internalise even just the fear of people thinking that. And that’s how people close up about their grief. That’s how people feel guilty for how they grieve. And that makes actually processing your grief and starting to heal so much harder, if not impossible. 

Qrow is still in the immediate aftermath of this loss. I’m awful with the exact timeline, but it’s what, like somewhere around 48 hours? With continued trauma going on around him. 

It is literally not possible for him to process everything fully like this.

The fact is that someone struggling with that kind of grief and trauma, and it having happened in a situation as complicated as what happened on the tundra (regardless of how terribly all of it was written), they’re going to say things that seem selfish. Or even victim blaming. Because they are processing. They are having to reconcile their own hurt and anger and grief and confusion. Fight between how they feel about the person they’ve lost, and their instinct to, in some way, protect themselves from a painful truth of how things really happened or who was to blame, or what mistakes they made. Even with Qrow accepting some of that blame, maybe even way more than he should, he’s still going to reflexively try to avoid taking parts of it that are particularly painful. I hate 90% of how people think of the stages of grief, mostly because they are not the clear linear thing that is often thought of. But this is the anger in a sense. It’s a protective lashing out. “If Clover had only!-” He wants to be angry, wants to be able to just say Clover was wrong, but as soon as he does he cuts himself off. He feels bad for trying to put the blame on Clover. That’s natural. 

Is it cool if CRWBY is trying to frame that as right? Fuck no. But the fact that Qrow is feeling it, is expressing it, is struggling with it back and forth? There is nothing wrong with that. 

Hell. Qrow even being able to say that it was his fault in some way, that he chose wrong in working with Tyrian, but then also stand firm in that he did not actually kill Clover, and apparently this is not the first time he’s said that. It might not be perfect. But the fact that he can even be there at this point is huge. 

I have said nearly exactly that same speech.  I said and thought things in the first week, even months, of my grief, that, even at the time, I knew were selfish. Were making everything about me. I hated myself for it. But I couldn’t stop it. And If I had tried? I wouldn’t have processed everything. I would have chastised myself for feeling things that I thought were wrong to feel. That’s not how you process grief. It’s how you get stuck in it. 

But the way Qrow looks at the pin? The way he pulls his thumb over it. The weak little laugh. The way he rushes to hide it. The fact that the first time we see him really asserting himself and his innocence is when Harriet threatens to take it from him. 

I know all of that. That exact expression, movement. 

He is so close to breaking. And he’s Qrow. He’s self conscious, self hating, isolating, Qrow. Talking about how this just confirms his own ideas of his position in relationships, his own fears about the danger of his semblance? That’s easy. That’s normal. It hurts like shit, but it’s manageable, he’s done it plenty of times before. Now it’s just a bit more raw. 

But flat out talking about the entire loss that was Clover? About their bond ,and who Clover was as a person, and his potential, his future? The loss that Clover experienced in having his life cut short? 

Maybe I’m shamelessly projecting again. But I truly do not believe that Qrow could manage to think, let alone talk, about that right this moment, and not completely break down. Which he knows he can’t afford to do yet. 

Talking about himself. About his semblance and what Clover meant to him in that regard. Is painful. It hurts. It’s heartbreaking. But it’s familiar. 

It’s angry. It’s small weak laughs because you are nowhere even close to okay but you can’t be as broken as you really are right now, so you’ve just got to stick it out.  

Qrow is Qrow. Regardless of whether the writers pull this off appropriately or not, I have no doubt that this man understands, and has thought long and hard, about autonomy. About the tragedy of how death strips every last shred of it from a person. About the cruelty of someone’s death not even being seen as about them. 

But right this moment, he can’t focus on that. There’s too much still to do. To worry about. To protect. 

Talking about Clover? Just as Clover? 

Facing that unfairness, that loss of autonomy, that stolen future (whether or not that future involved Qrow)? That is an entirely different kind of pain. 

I’m four years removed from my loss and I still can’t think about that too much because it’s physically painful. It’s irreconcilable. I can joke and laugh and be crass about how empty I worry my life will always be without Emma. But thinking, talking, about what I feel when I just sit with the fact that she’s not just not here with me, but she’s gone. All the things she never got to do or be or feel. The crushing cruelty of her having no say in how her story ended, or how she is remembered. I have made talking about my grief my career. And that is still something I have no words for. Thinking about it in those first few days? Is a large part of why I don’t remember so much of that time. It was too painful, so I just blocked it out. 

I said things. I thought things. I believed things. That were not fair. That were more about me and my pain than Emma. Hell, I know there were moments I was angry, and there wasn’t even anyone to try to blame for what happened. It was ugly emotion after ugly emotion. Bitterness piled upon bitterness. But that was part of the process. 

My point is. I totally understand if this speech makes you nervous. If you can’t trust the writers to turn it around into something good, that doesn’t frame it as Clover’s fault, or as Clover only being important to Qrow because of his semblance. 

But please know, that what Qrow actually said? Even if he was starting to blame Clover. Even if he was focusing only on how it hurt him because of his semblance. That is a natural part of grieving. It doesn’t matter if it would be an awful outlook for him to have at the end of everything. 

He’s not at the end. He’s processing. 

And outright saying that him saying that the semblance thing is what ‘really stings’, or being angry that Clover didn’t just listen to him, or anything else, is wrong and uncaring, isn’t fair. 

It might not be the right perspective. It might be blatantly wrong and unfair and self absorbed. But that’s okay. He’s not callous for that. 

His feelings about Clover, his respect for Clover, his grief over Clover’s death and the loss of his autonomy? None of that is diminished by him having moments where he wants to blame Clover, or where he focuses more on how this hurts him than how unfair it is for Clover. (again. I’m talking about just the surface of him saying this, not the intent and eventual narrative the writers have in doing it this way). 

I just want people to be careful as they talk about this. Because it’s valid. And both sides are valid in multiple ways. 

But please. Be careful in how you show your dislike for what you feel/fear the writers are going to do, and how you frame the issues with what Qrow said. 

Grief is an incredibly isolating thing. And when it’s fresh it’s so easy to feel horrible, to literally hate yourself, for the thoughts you have while processing your grief. 

We all want this to be handled properly, and we all are nervous about how bad it could be if it isn’t. But the last thing we need is people saying that Qrow is wrong or selfish for feeling and expressing what he is feeling, while he processes something so overwhelming and complicated as everything that is going on right now. 

It’s not fair to Qrow, but more importantly, it’s hurtful for everyone watching who has dealt with or is still dealing with these unpleasant, often shameful and seemingly vilified aspects of grief. 

There is no wrong or right way to grieve. There is nothing wrong with you for thinking things you normally wouldn’t, or for focusing on your own pain. The ugly parts of your grief do not mean you don’t care about the person you lost enough.

Just remember that the concern here should be about how the writers intend to use this speech. 

Not that Qrow said what he said. Those feelings can be wrong, unfair, selfish. But there’s nothing wrong with him for feeling that way right now. It doesn’t mean Clover meant anything less to him. 

It’s just grief. 

my friend wanted the tsukishima version of this so i had to do it 🥴

pairing: tsukishima x reader

word count: 1438

cross posted on my wattpad

Kissing His Best Friend [[Tiktok Challenge]]

- the gentle wind ruffled the trees and bushes surrounding the high school of crows

- while the air outside seemed cool and fresh, the air inside the gym was hot and stuffy

- the boy’s volleyball team was practicing extra hard especially two certain first years

- halfway during practice the third years got called out of the gym by a teacher to discuss something about their grades, leaving the rest of the team to either continue practicing or take a break

- hinata and kageyama continued to practice hard while tsukki grabbed a water bottle and sat against a wall, waiting for the rest of the team to return

- out of the corner of his eye he spotted nishinoya and tanaka trying to do tiktok dances in sync and failing miserably

- tsukki knew about a lot of tiktok trends and dances thanks to his energetic teammates, but he didn’t spend most of his day mindlessly scrolling through the app

- he had things to do, like studying and watching his dinosaur documentaries, so he didn’t have time to waste doing silly tiktok trends

- snapping out of his thoughts he noticed he was in the camera’s frame and grimaced, trying to scoot away but his upperclassmen immediately noticed

- “tsukishima!! join us!!”

- “no.”

- nishinoya and tanaka pouted at their teammate’s salty behavior, but immediately brightened up noticing a certain someone walk through the gym doors

- “(y/n)!!”

- they ran past tsukki and opened their arms in hopes that they’d be able to trap you in the ultimate bear hug

- sadly for them, you dodged them just in time, leaving them to face plant onto the floor

- you slowly walked away from them and upon noticing your best friend you jogged over to him

- “tsukki!!”

- nishinoya and tanaka sniffled while patting each other’s back, knowing they’ll never be able to have you because your heart belonged to the salt shaker

- tsukishima greeted you and asked you why you were still at school even though school had already ended a few hours ago

- “the teachers wanted me to drop off papers to the captains of all the teams we have, all i need is daichi and i should be free to go!”

- “daichi isn’t here.”

- he had to hold back his laugh once he saw your reaction to the captain’s absence

- “i did not just walk across campus for daichi to not be here.”

- “hate to break it to you, but you did.”

- “tsukki! you’re supposed to be nice to me!! >:(“

- you smacked his arm and this time tsukishima couldn’t hold back a chuckle at your childish attitude

- nishinoya and tanaka’s ears perked at the sound of tsukishima’s chuckle

- they literally looked at each other like ‘ 👀 ‘

- yamaguchi, being the literal angel that he is, offers to show you where daichi is so you could deliver the packet of papers to him

- you literally go “really?🥺”

- tsukki definitely didn’t get salty, no sir he didn’t

- except that maybe he did-

- nishinoya and tanaka decide to set their unspoken plan into motion and cough to get the attention of the group

- “you know what tsukishima? why don’t you go with yamaguchi?”

- “but it’s not my job to deliver-“

- “dont disrespect your upperclassmen!! besides, (y/n)’s feet must be sore from walking around the whole day!”

- tsukki sighs, knowing that arguing with the two of them is literally impossible

- so he embarks on a mini adventure with yamaguchi to deliver some papers to daichi

- just when you’re about to tell nishinoya and tanaka that they didn’t have to do that and you were perfectly capable of delivering those papers yourself they turn to you with one of the biggest smiles you’ve ever seen

- “(y/n)! we have a plan!”

- “...ok?”

- so there you stood as nishinoya and tanaka explained their ‘ perfect plan ‘ on how you would get to kiss tsukishima

- “you’re the only one that tsukishima can tolerate enough to do this!!“

- “...you’re just using me for tiktok views aren’t you?”

- “...”

- “*sigh*”

- nonetheless you agreed because,,, who would pass up the opportunity to kiss tsukishima? exactly no one

- and if you said you would,,, no you wouldn’t stop lying to yourself

- if anything went wrong and your friendship nearly gets ruined you could blame it on nishinoya and tanaka

- so they start setting up the area

- tanaka tells hinata and kageyama to practice on the other side of the court, just incase one of kageyama’s sets goes astray and ends up hitting someone

- nishinoya and tanaka set up the phone and begin recording, not knowing when tsukishima would walk through the doors

- “what if he doesn’t catch me-“

- “don’t be so negative (y/n)!”

- you had many many doubts about this plan

- but you went along with it because you got an excuse to kiss tsukishima

- soon you heard footsteps from outside the window and signaled tanaka and nishinoya

- they gave you a thumbs up, wishing you luck and hoping that their plan wouldn’t fail because if it did you would most likely stop talking to them

- as soon as the doors opened yamaguchi and tsukishima stepped inside, now was your moment!

- “tsukki! catch me!!”

- tsukishima turned his head to the sound of your voice, his mind not registering the words you said when he saw you quickly running towards him

- when you jumped he instinctively held out his arms and caught you, almost stumbling backwards from the force

- your legs were wrapped around his waist and your hands were on his shoulders as you let out excited giggles, happy that he actually caught you

- “idiot, why’d you do that? what if i didn’t catch yo-“

- without thinking you grabbed his head and smashed your lips against his

- tsukishima, still not processing that you jumped for him to catch you, also could not process that you were kissing him

- taking his lack of response as a ‘im not kissing you back’ you slowly pulled your lips away but didn’t get the chance to as tsukishima placed his hand behind your head to kiss you back

- mind you, tsukishima was still carrying you, just with one arm bc he’s strong 🥴

- nishinoya and tanaka were hyping you up with tears in their eyes from sadness or happiness is up to you to decide

- yamaguchi was secretly recording because he wanted to have his own video proof that he was there to witness the moment

- even hinata and kageyama got distracted mid set-

- oh no

- o h n o

- hinata and kageyama got distracted mid set

- hinata was so focused on the scene that his hand unconsciously followed his eyes and he accidentally sent the ball flying towards the two of you

- just as the two of you pulled away from the kiss tsukki noticed the ball flying towards the two of you and turned his body around so it wouldn’t hit you

- instead of the ball hitting your head it ended up hitting his

- the gym remained quiet as tsukishima rubbed the back of his head in an attempt to soothe the pain of the spike

- hinata was absolutely distraught, knowing he was about to suffer the wrath of the angry salt shaker

- “tsukki!! are you ok??”

- you were quick to gently grab his head and rub the back of it, occasionally rubbing your hands through his hair in an attempt to distract him from the pain

- suddenly all the pain tsukishima felt was gone lMAO-

- tsukishima nodded and exited the gym with you

- he set you down outside and told you to wait while he went to go get his things

- all hinata got was a bonk on the head?? which was?? shocking??

- hinata mentally thanked you for soothing the salty monster’s wrath

- once tsukishima returned back to you he squatted down in front of you and you looked at him like ‘🤨’

- “what are you doing?”

- “don’t your feet hurt? hurry and hop on before i change my mind.”

- oh boY

- you were so quick to jump onto his back for a piggyback ride

- on the way home you asked tsukishima if he liked you and he literally sCOFFED

- “we kissed and you still doubt my feelings for you? do you need another one to clear your head?”

- i mean... you didn’t say no to that

- the next day nishinoya and tanaka show you the video they took

- people were fawning over how fast tsukishima was to turn his body so you wouldn’t get hurt

- tsukishima acted like he didn’t like the attention but this little shit was eating it up

- if you wanted to do more tiktoks with him involving kissing he was not going to deny you

haikyuu mlist

Story Time

so, i had this neighbor who became my friend. She's in her mid 30s. she has 3 children now. Btw I'm younger than her I'm only in my 20s. Her eldest child named cassy (she's now 11years old) was very closed to me because ever since she was a kid she's always staying in my house. I brought her with me every time i go malling. I bought her a lot of things as my reward for her since she helped me doing household chores. I also brought her to every restaurants she haven't gone to. If she's here in the house i cooked delicious food , she ate 4 times a day here. And sometimes we just called mcdo or jollibee for delivery. Her mom was pretty okay with it since she trusted me with everything. So here's the thing her husband is pretty much an asshole. Maricel (which is my neighbor) she knew everything about me and vice versa. Sometimes she called me on the phone crying about how she can't handle her husband's shitty attitude. She rants about him and ofcourse me, as a friend i am giving her advices but every advices were just shrugged away. i'm not the only person she's telling me about her personal problems, she's telling everyone MY GOD.

Her Husband is very addicted alcohol. He is literally drinking everyday and went home really drunk. According to maricel he left the house without giving anything to them. Like money to buy food/snack for his children. And the kids were running towards me complaining they're hungry and ofcourse me being soft i bought them food. AND JOBLESS! He had a job in a call center but only lasted for 3months and then he worked in his uncle's company but only lasted less than a month and lastly just this pandemic he worked in a hospital (idk his position but his wife told me that it's a computer thing related, like encoding something like that) But he lasted not less than a week i guess, ? or 2 weeks . And he always excuse that he's going to look for job but ended up going home drunk. He's physically hurting his children most especially his eldest saying bad words like " YOU'RE SO DUMB" His wife also told me that he doesn't like taking care of his children. At such a young age her eldest which is only eleven years old is the one responsible for her siblings. If something happened to her siblings she's the one to blamed for.He is a fucking horrible and irresponsible person and father. He doesn't even fit for that.

Maricel was working in a recruitment agency , the owner of the company is her aunt. Before she worked there, someone from our another neighbor told her if she's interested to work in a travel agency. But she declined the offer and chose the recruitment agency. She was already working 4months ahead of me. But sadly she's very unlucky with her company. Her company increased her salary just one time, no over time pay, she was yelled at, cussing at, and no benefits, no sick leave, no vacation leave, and no work no pay. Her salary is not even enough since she has 3 kids and she's the only one supporting all of them.

after 4 months, i was hired in a call center and i was just waiting for a call on when im going to begin. Maricel came up to me and told me the travel agency that was been offered to her before because they're still hiring. I told her that i am not interested because i was already hired. But she was insisting me to atleast try. In order for her to stop bugging me i did try. The next day I went to the travel agency she was bugging me about and i was totally very non-chalant about the application and i was very surprised that i was hired. When the General Manager said " Can you start tomorrow?" I literally stopped idk what to answer because i suddenly think about the call center. But then i answered "YES" that moment i was thinking the i have to wait for a call from the call center, while i have to begin right away in a travel. I guess I was meant to be in a travel agency aside from its related to my course my boss is now my "Adoptive Mother". (its another story time tho how did it happen)

Now, Maricel's husband named FUCKING ARGEL was extremely jealous of me, his wife told me that he kept saying " Why did you let her (which is me) offered that job if onlyyou had accepted it you already had a high salary! Maricel defended that she already was working in recruitment before she bugged me on applying in a travel agency). I bought some appliances with my very own money and that's my biggest achievements lol. When cassy got home from malling with me she would run to her parents excitedly and showed them the stuff i bought for them. If cassy's here in the house she'll be home around 8pm, before she goes back home I would let her eat dinner first. Every time his dad will ask her she said " i already eat my dinner , im full" .. and these shenanigans turned out upside down. Her dad won't let her come to my house anymore. And she told that he yelled at her and angrily said that why won't you stop saying her name! and he even wished me dead! and the kids told me that he even disrespect his mom and even cussed at too!Imagine that

Mommy Deb ( My boss/adoptive mom) allowed them to swim in their clubhouse, we thought everything was okay but guess what he's jealous of her too. Anyway now the kids aren't going here anymore, they do sleepovers and the usual things we do before. Their second child kellie and the youngest kurt, everytime they hear my voice they will run towards me and hugged me.

When the pandemic started I almost never getting out of the house. Since we were temporaily closed because no tourists allowed to enter our country yet. I have an online job. Maricel left her job and now she do our neighbor and her aaaunt's laundry as her sideline job every saturdays. And still ASSHOLE ARGEL doesn't have a job.

Just a few days back i was outside of their house together with the kids and maricel. This asshole argel called on Jillian's ( cassy's cousin, 10yrs old) messenger. He heard my voice and cussed. I didn't hear it since it wasn't on a speaker. It was just jillian who told me. I confronted maricel and i fucking hate her reaction. I said " YOUR HUSBAND CUSSED AT ME" and she was like " AH. HMM WELL HE'S REALLY LIKE THAT" i was pretty pissed off and then i confronted her again i said " YOU DIDN'T EVEN DEFEND ME?" she replied " WHAT DO U MEAN I DID NOT ? I DO! HE'S JUST LIKE THAT" I got so fucking furious and told her "IF YOU GUYS JUST TOLERATE HIM FOR BEING LIKE THAT, WELL NOT ME! I WILL NEVER EVER ALLOW ANYONE TO DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT! TREAT ME SHIT WHEN ALL I DO WAS BEING KIND TO YOU, TO YOUR CHILDREN AND TO YOUR FAMILY! I DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO HIM!

now i decided to end our friendship. I explained a lot of things to the kids. I blocked maricel and argel on facebook and i unfriended cassy (since her parents can access her fb) I AM SO DONE WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT DESERVE MY KINDNESS!

Could see Sherri popping up in the diluted fake Fosters spin off. Teri? No I think she’s done. Unfollowing Bradley,Peter,Cierra and Maia on twitter. Woah! Im really not sure she’s even filming this little 3 parter they’re doing tbh. We’ve heard nothing so far, photos, table reads. I really hope she is because regardless of our feelings about how its all turned out it will be probably the last time we see them as a couple. The 3 part will be a precursor to the spinoff, their involvement minimal.

Well we knew she unfollowed immediately after the announcement dropped. Just not sure when it happened, before or after the announcement. I am pretty sure she’d be in the 3 part finale but then I am sure she’ll be done, unless they offer her directing. I don’t expect many pictures because there has to be a lot of tension on that set. I do agree that I don’t believe Joanna that they will be a focus.

Peter, Brad and Joanna are slaves to Freeform and do their bidding. They will want to use Stef and Lena to setup their lame spin off.

Anonymous said:                                                                      When Tess talked to Stef at prom about her having feelings for her back then and that seeing her again and living next door helped her realize she's possibly gay , was she saying that she's gay bc she still has feelings for Stef or bc she's come to terms with herself ?

That’s a good question. I got the feeling that she was saying that she never came to terms with the feelings she had for Stef. And now being faced with Stef, she’s forced to face those feelings and whether that plays a part in why her marriage is failing. Now, what isn’t clear because either the acting wasn’t up to par or the wring was absolute crap is whether she still feels something for Stef. I didn’t get that feeling from what I saw on that screen but I have no idea if I was supposed to get that. It was confusing for me with Stef why she wanted Tess to admit she liked her and why she’s still tripping about it. I know they will attempt to tie it up together next episode but this story hasn’t been clear at all. Why isn’t Lena jealous over all this concern? It makes no sense.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Aaron is going to be in the spin off. Attending that panel confirms it for me. I really hoped that was the last we’d see of him as I can’t stand the character. Callie should be on her own, she’s at her most tolerable like that and with her mom’s. As if they wouldn’t be on her to get her college applications in. But oh no that would be a boring family scene let’s return to Brandon in bed with Grace that will get the ratings in and up! Bull!             

Yeah one of the young actors could be Aaron, ximena. That way they can continue to say look we have queer youth. Who cares? I liked the old lesbians. That wasn’t on my screen. I don’t believe that ratings go up when Brandon is naked. Sorry. They think that, but they will learn that what made The Fosters special was the moms and without it it will be another meaningless progressive turd.        

Anonymous said:                                                                      I’m not on twitter but has anybody asked whether Sherri and Teri were even asked to this Freeform summit? If not Peter and Bradley should be honest... yeah we’re starting to phase the moms out but ep 18 you’ll get five mins to satisfy all you annoying Stef and Lena fans! Urgh!!! Didn’t watch any of the summit but were the moms mentioned?

I asked but you can better believe that they ignored me. And you hit the nail on the head. Yeah, we hate the moms but you better be on your knees thankful for episode 18. I didn’t watch it either so I have no idea if they were mentioned. I don’t expect so.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Has any of the creators gone into detail re the decision for this crap spinoff? I mean we know Bradley and Peter are behind it but has Joanna for example said anything? Did they seriously push for a final season and got told a big no or was it mutual between them and Freeform. Still feel pissed that Bradley was telling viewers to tweet Freeform for another season. I wish Sherri would come out and give her views, maybe it will all be revealed once it’s over what really went on. Shady shady!!!!!!!             

They act like this was the only way to continue telling their progressive stories. I don’t think Freeform wanted The Fosters, but I do think a season 6 would have been possible if they hadn’t sold out the Fosters back in October for a spin off without the moms. Joanna stopped tweeting October 1st around the time I believe the inked dried on that spin off contract. She didn’t tweet till the new year basically. Sherri will never speak ill. Remember that Sherri once said that Teri said the things that people only thought and could never say aloud. I respect that. I believe they continued to hope that somehow Freeform would renew the fosters despite having the Spin Off approved. As if Freeform would renew the old biddies without the young actors. Come on, they killed it.

 Anonymous said:                                                                      Smthg strange I noticed prior to the announcement of the cancellation which made me so mad. In Intouch magazine (which is a lot of garbage I know however..) A source said Teri Polo was a diva and has a bad attitude on set! This got me so mad. Google it, it’s a couple of lines but how dare they!! Pressreader has it. All has not been well on that set for a few months that’s for sure. IMO the biggest diva has always been Maia, always thought it. Whoever their source was/is shame on them!  

I wondered what the point of that was, at the time I thought maybe it was a result of Teri obviously avoiding media. However, I am sure now that was a network leak, perhaps because Teri was holding out for money, directing or perhaps equal pay for cast. Who knows? Or maybe just because Teri probably spoke her mind and called the Network out for the disrespect of her talent. And it has been an insult. THey are the leads but for the last 2 years, they’ve been shut out of promotion, photo shoots, etc. Sherri is the kindest person in the world, the most genuine person and I know she would never use the word diva for Teri.

@avidlebon i uh. Tangled maybe? Ive seen the movie not the new show. Dads... Got the mindset of hes the man of the house. His way or the highway he knows best. Hes not a bad guy I'm just... So fed up with how he talks and behaves and his "hes in charge" attitude. I'm... Tired of feeling disrespected that nothing i do or care about matters my opinions are *wrong* like dude maybe I dont have all the info but im tired of your holier than thou attitude. And yeah its little shit like things only go where he says they go and he throughs a fit like a CHILD if things are out of place i realize its not my house but when him and mom disagree mom basically sucks it up and doesnt argue she just does what she wants around him which just adds drama later or like. He gets to be loud. Or vent. Or bitch. Or make HORRIBLE remarks and insinuations like i dont care if im being a smart ass bitch from hell (even discounting that any more if Im back talking its because HE FUCKING STARTED IT) you do not get to say i need to watch my damn tone or youre going to knock my teeth down my throat Like no. You havent really touched me or beat me but that doesnt mean saying shit like thats okay and i swear tk god he ever grabs me by the shirt front to get in my face EVER again NO MATTER the provocation or how legit he thinks his reason is I'm WALKING to Virginia. And for the love of god I mean you dont get to tell me to watch MY attitude watch MY tone and act and behave like THAT i SWEAR I'm getting SO CLOSE to just saying "either keep a civil tone or shut up" because damn it I dont care if hes paying the bills or that its his house Im SICK of how he gets to be an asshole one sec and then we all sit around and talk about something light or watch shows like nothing happened because nothing did. I dont care that hes BETTER my tolerance and acceptance has a lower base line for this shit. Like if nothing else I got out of going to see a shrink is knowing that I'm an adult and a person deserving of space and consideration - that even if I wasnt an adult I SHOULDNT have to put up with this behavior if it upsets me. and you know if he wants to play the "you know where the door is" card... Ive left before. It was because of my issues not because of him but... By acknowldging and attempting to deal with my shit... NOT responsible for dealing with HIS shit. He needs to control his temper. Im not saying hes not allowed to be angry in his own god blessed house im saying how he expresses it amd how he makes it our problem how discussions are a MANDITORY sham how disrespectful he is of our time... When i work or have appointments they need to be on the calender the sooner the better. But weekend with nothing scheduled comes up we have plans. Plans that when I ask I get youll see. Or we're doing cleaning. Cleaning what? Vacuuming laundry? Anything I can do and work around? No dont do things until i tell you. Or i wake up and I wanted to go to a cat cafe. Or job hunting. And suddenly we're going grocery shopping and sense we're out lets stop here here and here or hey i need to talk to you when youre done talking to your friend. ... Um my one friend (he doesnt count online people) that i talk to? That i MAYBE can talk to once a month? That if i get on the phone with were prob spending the rest of the night bsing? I'm not going to be done so if you want to talk tell me that and well talk and ill call my friend back after. Dont get fucking huffy like im prioritizing them over you when i hardly talk to them, and you HAVE to notice how freaked i get when you ambush me with talks. and like. Tuck in your shirt. Do something with your hair. You look un professional i wouldn't hire you. Or you know i have somewhere to be and you stop me on.my way out the door? I dont care if YOU dont think i need to leave an hour early. why the fuck would you think thats okay? And just this whole "walk it off pussy, people and their fragile fucking egos" like hello. Daughter youre talking to? The one who has to "walk off" the panic attacks facing YOUR attitude gives me however unintentional to walk around and smile and keep the conversation light? Who has to respond to everything you say and navigate the conversation like a fucking pro to avoid things I cant stand talking about with you because it makes it worse? The person who HAS to compulsively fixate on EVERYONES tone and attitude and when feels over whelmed hides in the bathroom trying not to cry and yet has STILL managed to fucking work cashier jobs most of her working life? Yeah standing right here asshole. YOU dont get to tell anyone how much is too much for them to handle, you dont get to caat shame on "my generation" and therefore ME when on what I can or cannot handle. You dont get to fucking decided whats too much for me to handle or how far I have to push myself to be worthy i have PROVED myself to your standards, been homeless and emotionally wrecked contemplated suicide NOT because im a "coward" but because being ALIVE has at times caused myself and those i care about more pain than i could POSSIBLY have value. I worked my ass off alone, did things the "hard way" thinking itd prove something to me or to you and Not one god damn thing changed and you know what? It WAS too much to handle alone - i pushed myself so far outside being okay that the ONLY god blessed reason I AM alive is that my best friend who you think so LITTLE of was there and so was her mom and hell Ive been to therapy. Ive struggled and come so far and i am NOT going to let you make me feel like nothing. I can feel valuless all by myself, can feel like shit all by myself, have enough of my OWN negitivity to carry I REFUSE to carry yours. And i DONT have to. I DONT. NO ONE DOES. Even if putting up with it means another day with a roof and food even if there was NO way of me surviving on my own that doesnt mean i deserve to be treated this way. And im lucky because i have other people in my life willing to help if i call. So i can afford to be upset.... Even if it makes me feel guilty. Even if i feel unreasonable. I may not be able to sit down and tell him he needs to learn to respect others - or at least me and mom that his behavior is unexceptable to me... But its freeing in a way to know i dont. That im allowed to be mad at him for it. I didn't mean to rant. Apparently just needed it. Sorry.

Tolerance.. do I have much of it?

When I was 10 I roughly discovered that my mom was extremely abusive because normal kids didn’t go around seeing pools of blood staining carpets and fist fights with parents who are way too big to be hitting kids. I didn’t do much then other that start self harming and that was enough in its own. So young and my only way out was possible death. Not much else I could do.. I could put up with so much. I could do lying. Cheating. I could handle hitting. Screaming matches. I could tolerate the motherload of anger thrown my way for a large majority of my life. I could deal with my dad hitting me and getting kept from school because of not wanting to be caught with my bruises. I could keep silent about a lot of things because my tolerance for things like that.. was very high. At some point while living with my dad.. I got a really great piece of advice. “Sometimes getting angry about being mistreated isn’t such a bad thing” at first I didn’t even want to test the boundaries of my anger. It’s not something I’m BUILT for. Well I wasn’t programmed to get angry. I wasn’t programmed to argue back. I wasn’t wired correctly like other children to actually understand that emotion at first. When I got angry I’d sleep.. I’d hide. I wouldn’t talk and I’d smile at everyone so no one knew and everything would still be fine.

While living with my dad I got to vent out my anger a lot. My dad wasn’t a calm collected person all the time. He loved to provoke feelings out of people. If that meant taunting or hurting or.. insults.. he’d get what he wanted out of you. My mom fed off of sadness and my dad once he got a taste of attitude.. he liked the flavor a lot. It started with sly remarks about rape- I told my dad- something personal a long time ago and buried it down because it never needed to be brought back up. He’d talk about my mom.. my sister being “slow” and all the thousands of other ugly things.. people like him could say. At first I’d get angry and I’d cry.. beg him to stop.. I hated it so much. I couldn’t vent the anger out with how he wanted. I was mush. I was tears. I couldn’t fight back.. I couldn’t scream.. I was vanilla and he wanted spice.. I can’t remember what he said about my sister... but I know it hurt my feelings because I had done the best I could.. and I screamed... I screamed so loud and hard... he slapped me.. and that only pissed me off more.. so I slapped him back.. he was about to punch me and i slugged him in his face and scaremed that If he had just been a father when we were kids.. I wouldn’t have had to take his place and raised her so wrong. We argued and fought for days about it. It was the only thing.. that made me.. mad.

My tolerance for bullshit got slimmer and slimmer as I aged. I don’t do rude. But I don’t pop off at first either. I stay silent until I’ve gathered enough understanding TO get mad. Sometimes things that seem like they belong to my name aren’t even associated with me. I can do ugly remarks and shit talking disguised as jokes. I can do all of those because they aren’t reasons to get mad. You can live under the same roof and disrespect me and degrade me and I’ll never say anything and the farthest I’ll go to ignore you or show you I don’t care is to walk away and not give you my time of day.

However I do notice that a very touchy topic for me is my sister. When people yell ugly profanities at my sister I turn into someone unrecognizable to myself. I raised her. I love her. I love her more than our mother does. I love her more than our father ever did. I love her more than our cousins will. I love her more than any other person on this planet ever could. If they love her as much as the depths of the sea.. my love reached and surpasses such love to different galaxies. What I’m saying is.. there’s no person on this earth who could ever tell her.. she’s not loved.

My tolerance to be picked at and bullied are very high. My tolerance for when someone comes into my sisters home and disrespects her and tells her she isn’t shit WHILE SHES ONLY 15 UNABLE TO WORK AND THAT NO ONE LOVES HER SORRY ASS WHILE EVERYONE OF THESE FUCKING ADUKTS IN OUR LIVES ABANDONED US WILL DEFINITELY BE SOMTHING THAT MAKES ME THROW ALL MY LOGIC OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW! I am calm. I am collected. I am silent and I am angry..

You’ve pissed me off ever since you got here. You’ve pissed me off while I was driving your sorry alcoholic ass to the store. You’ve pissed me off when I baked and you threw it away while drunk. You’ve pissed me off by simply laughing. The genetics say YOU ARE MY FATHERS SISTER. The DNA proves it.. but you ARENT SHIT TO ME because not one day in my life had you been around. For my grandma I will shut the fuck up though.. but to tell my sister that only our grandma loves her... proves that your worth to my sweet angel.. is nothing. You yelling profanities at her.. as if YOU KNOW HER. Only proves how WORTHLESS you are as a whole. YELLING SOMETHING AT MY BABY AFTER ALL SHES BEEN THROUGH when all your pathetic life you’ve had shit handed to you... DEFINITELY pisses me off in a way I never could’ve imagined. She needs to be put in her place. That’s a growing up thing she has to learn. BUT YOU?! YOU ARE 36! SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND TAKE A BIT OF YOUR OWN ADVICE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!

My sister does wrong a lot of the time but today.. today my sister was scolded and she understood. Today my sister got yelled at by a lazy.. not working. Piece of shit adult... who disrespects the very home she should be thankful for. For something already dealt with.. WHILE ALSO YELLING AT MY GRANDMA LIKE IM NOT ABOUT TO BEAT HER ASS AND KICK HER TO THE CURB AND KEY HER FUCKING CAR!

You want beef bitch? ILL GIVE YOU BEEF! You want to feel like brother is still alive? I’ll beat your fucking ass the way dad would’ve done had he caught your ass talking shit to his daughter.