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#im not even gonna talk about how they dont take my heds pain seriously too
werewolffem · 3 years
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female pain is still not taken seriously and it's literally making me want to die.
i have hEDS, now mix that with plantar fasciitis... i have plantar so bad that it's making my feet constantly swollen, it has started to even bruise my feet, and it feels like i'm consistently walking on broken feet and having the broken bone shards jab into me as i take steps. physical therapy, cortazon shots, ultrasounds, massages, pain patches, ibuprofen/other pain meds all didn't work. i have 3 different inserts in different shoes that don't work. yet i am spending money for custom inserts...that won't help. and also had an MRI.
my knee might be a torn meniscus due to where the pain is mostly located. i have tame knee pain right now, but with that possibility, it is making it worse. it feels swollen all the time, stiff, and i can't do stairs well, i dread them, even slopes going up or down is even to set off the pain. i cannot squat or kneel down. the pt gave me exercises which made it agitated. instead of sending me to an MRI to see if it is a tear, the pt tells me i just need to get stronger. if i'm stronger then a possibly tear in my knee might magically go away.
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strawberryspeachy · 4 years
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So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.
Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.
Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.
Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.
And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.
And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.
But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.
These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...
I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.
But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.
But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.
And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you
But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.
Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way
Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.
So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.
It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.
I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...
Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.
Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.
Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.
Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”
It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them
When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...
And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’
Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.
Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like
Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.
I like that... i like thay thing we do
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In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.
Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.
Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???
Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.
Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.
Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching
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sollea · 5 years
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Kingdom Hearts Mermaids AU Characters: Lea, Isa, Sora, Riku Relationship: LeaIsa, (non-mentioned) SoRiKai Word Count: 1583
Note: I’m gonna be doing more of this AU, keep an eye out. I have a lot planned. Lea + Isa picture here. Other mermaid information here. I’m reposting to try to get this into the search because for some reason the first try wasn’t.
“Hey, Isa, you remember that time I almost killed you?”
“You’re going to have to be more specific than that, Lea. You do that regularly.”
Lea rolled his eyes and swam up and above Isa, reaching down and dangling his arms in front of his best friend as they swam together. He silently recalled when he had to be more careful around Isa, glad for that time being over. “Nah, you know what I mean. I’ve never actually almost killed you.”
“Didn’t you just ask about the time you did?”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
“I need you to think for a second, just a second. Why would I forget one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had?” Isa paused his swimming and let Lea circle back so he could still be talking to Isa while looking down from above.
“I was kinda hoping you’d still be unwilling to say it like that, but you’re right. I was just thinking about how glad I am that I can touch you now.”
Isa reached up to prick his finger against one of Lea’s spines, it barely felt like anything after years of getting used to it.“It’s been ages, aren’t you used to being able to touch me without being incredibly careful by now?”
“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me happy.”
Isa laughed and looked up at Lea, reaching up and cupping his face to make sure they locked eyes. He couldn’t deny Lea being so outwardly sentimental was something he loved about him. “What was your point, Lea? Did you have one or did you just want to be a dork?”
Lea moved his hand over Isa’s and smiled. “I’m just thinking about it. I was really scared you weren’t going to be my friend anymore because of that and here we are, you’re in love with me and-”
“Don’t know who said that.”
“And I love you.”
“As you should.”
“You refused to let me know you were hurting that bad, you were really strong. You’re always so strong. I just love you.”
“Sappy. Is something going on?”
“No. I really was just thinking about how nice it is to not have that happen anymore. No poisoning my friend with hugs. Now I just bother my boyfriend by being clingy.”
“Sounds like you’ve had a couple changes, then. Why are we just talking about the almost killing me part of the story?”
“Because I’m trying to get to a point.”
“You said you didn’t have one.”
“Ugh! Just stop making fun of me for two seconds. You’re obnoxious.”
“Oh? Am I really the obnoxious one?”
“Yes! Why do I even like you?”
“I’m told you’re in love.”
“Wish I wasn’t in love with someone so mean to me.”
“I’m not mean to you. I could be. Do you want me to be mean to you?”
“No. Isa.”
“Then you know I’m being as nice as I can be?”
“Isa, can you just shut up and let me talk?”
“Hah, you think I’m able to keep you from talking? You?”
“Alright, shut up.”
“Really rude to keep saying that.” Moving up in the water to press his lips to Lea’s for a moment, Isa laughed. “You like hearing me talk. You enjoy my voice.”
“If you’d let me get to my point, Isa.” He left emphasis on the second syllable as he waited to be interrupted. When there was no interruption, he sighed. “I’ve been thinking about that because of how many things we still do come from not being able to touch you. When you kiss me outside of saying hey, it makes me remember watching Aeleus help you into the castle when I hugged you. Y’know, that should’ve had you paralyzed?”
“Yes, I’m aware. Are we really going over some backstory? Can’t we just continue this swim, head up to the beach, and relax there while it’s empty?”
“Am I not allowed to talk to my best friend anymore?”
“You are, but your boyfriend is getting impatient.”
“Then tell him to stop being an asshole.”
“He’s not about to listen, he’s just as stubborn as you are. Now, seriously, come on. There’s nothing we can’t talk about while relaxing somewhere even just a little safer than open ocean between islands.”
“Fine.”
“And I bet you don’t remember what your point was anyways.”
“I just told you what it was.”
“Oh? Was that it?”
“I hate you.”
Isa laughed and rolled his eyes, deciding to let that empty statement stand, returning to the other part of what he’d been saying. “We wouldn’t be between islands if you just remembered where we were going.”
“You could’ve told me I was swimming the wrong way.”
“You’re almost always ahead of me. It’s your fault for going so far so fast.”
“You could’ve noticed.”
“Excuse me for trusting the one who decided to take the lead.”
“You weren’t even trusting me, I know you better than that.”
“Fine, I was laughing at you for going the wrong way, but we didn’t run into any humans with nets, so it’s fine.”
“If that’s your metric, then, yeah, I guess. You sure you’re going to be fine doing your job when we get back?”
“If I’m too tired for the day, the world won’t fall apart if I don’t go in.”
“But you will.”
“Yes, I will. Of course I will. You will too.”
“Nah, I’m gonna skip out. Be irresponsible and sleep all day. Place won’t fall apart without me.”
Isa rolled his eyes and wrapped his hands around Lea’s wrists carefully, webbing between his fingers getting in the way of a full and comfortable grasp. He wasn’t going to say it aloud, but he really did want to just sit on the beach with Lea and look up at the moon until they were too dry to stay on land. “Lea, start moving, I want to get home eventually, but the moon is full tonight.”
“You’re the one who stopped?”
Isa didn’t respond to Lea and instead opted to swimming forward with a small tug of Lea’s arms before letting go to continue swimming. He could be much faster when he wanted to be, a tuna tail was much better suited to going quickly than anyone who had only met Isa alone would be led to believe. Lea had to fight to keep up with Isa.
“Hey, Isa, slow down.”
“You can keep up, I believe in you.”
“Why am I dating you?”
“Why am I dating someone so slow?”
“Ugh! Fine. I don’t want to race, though, so slow down a little bit?”
Isa fell back, swimming at Lea’s pace and bumping their hips together. Lea still had the tendency to be careful around other people, despite Isa being all but completely immune to his sting because of the constant exposure. Isa had no such care. Lea responded to the bump by wrapping his tail around Isa’s, taking a position most used for comfortable relaxing while not moving.
“You really don’t want to let me see the moon above the water tonight, do you?”
“We’re still moving. You know how to pull me around, I know you do.”
“You’re lucky your tail isn’t as short as your dad’s is.”
“And you’re not. Pull me along.”
“Don’t be lazy.”
“Too late. I’m comfortable. And I know you can do this for a significantly longer time.”
Isa just sighed, shaking his head at Lea’s dorky actions. He loved Lea a great deal, but sometimes it was difficult… this was not one of those times, Isa found, as he glanced back to look at Lea’s smirk.
They didn’t have that far to go, so the rest of their swim was in silence. They pulled themselves onto the deserted beach carefully and hacked the water up out of their lungs.
As soon as they were comfortably on the beach and breathing air, Lea flopped backwards into the sand and groaned. “I will never be used to that.”
“What?”
“Having to cough up that much water.”
“You’ll never get used to anything different than your first two years alive, will you?”
“Oh, shut up. You wanted to lay here and talk and look at the moon, so lay down with me.”
Isa rolled his eyes and laid down next to Lea, holding his arm out so he could be leaned against if Lea decided he wanted to. And of course Lea wanted to.
Just as Lea got comfortable, there was a sound of footsteps that was just too close for comfort. Lea moved away and began to slide back into the water and Isa followed behind him.
They got into the water just as a pair of human children locked eyes with them.
“Wait, no, don’t go!” One of the children called out to the mermaids, reaching his hand out only to have the other grab him and hold him back.
“Sora, leave them alone. Kairi didn’t want to be seen either.”
“Yeah, but… We’re friendly.”
The mermaids stared at the gently arguing children in confusion, slowly backing up in the water so they could have a good distance between them. Where had they picked up this human language?
Suddenly, Lea realized the humans had said a name.
“...Did you say Kairi?” Lea was too curious to continue the act of self preservation Isa was still anxious to do, but not without Lea. He knew that and he could see Isa ready to bolt, but he needed to know.
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chockfullofsecrets · 6 years
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Class 1-A vs. Tickle Might: Part 1
<< Prologue (in case you’re wondering what’s going on) :: Part 2 >>
(A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who offered their kind feedback, especially @gigglingknight ! 2.7k words and 4 kids - Mineta’s not getting back up again - down, 16 to go! Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think - favorite scene, constructive criticism - your feedback will keep me awake at night to write part 2!)
The forty combined eyes of class 1-A were locked on All Might as he leapt gracefully from the wall of the training grounds, passing overhead and descending in a lazy arc into the mock city before them.
“He moves like a missile,” Momo said thoughtfully. “You would think such a big person would be less aerodynamic.”
Other students were less calm. “He’s gonna kill us all!” Mineta yelled. “I won’t get to enjoy my summer break at all!”
Hagakure clung to Ojiro’s arm. “Guys, I bet Aizawa-sensei sent him to beat us up before training camp. He probably thinks we won’t cause as much trouble if we’re all in full-body casts!”
Ojiro laughed, but he too was looking at the cluster of buildings in obvious dismay. “All Might’s the number one hero, he wouldn’t just indiscriminately fight us. I think.”
Even Aoyama’s sparkle was a little dimmed, his eyes wide in alarm behind his visor. “Mon dieu, didn’t you see what he did to Bakugou and Midoriya? His smile was as twinkling as ever, but… it was scary!”
“And he’s at full strength this time,” Satou added, his big lips pursed.
Those of them who were afraid edged closer to one other, clutching at armor and fabric and hands as if hoping they would fuse together into a single pro capable of taking on the Number One Hero. A select few, though, prepared to rally.
“It’ll be all right, guys!” Deku was smiling. Of course he was. “There’s a lot of us, and we have more experience using team attacks now! I’m sure we can impress All Might and Aizawa-sensei!”
Iida frowned. “Won’t it be easier for him to find us if we all stay in a group?”
“Maybe, but I feel safer with you guys!” Sero said.
“Yeah!”
“Let’s come up with a plan!”
A familiar snarl filled the air. “You extras can plan all you want!” Bakugou announced. “I’m going to face him head on! The only thing that would make me surrender is having to listen to you idiots for another minute!” He spun on his heel and stalked off, quickly disappearing behind the piles of concrete.
Kirishima grinned. “Guess I know what I’m doing, then.”
Mineta howled. “Just let him die! He’s really annoying! And if you get caught in the crossfire between him and All Might there’s no way you’ll survive.”
He shrugged. “Maybe, but I can’t just let him go in alone! And besides, what could be a manlier last sight on Earth than those two going at it?”
“I’ll come too,” Mina said, bouncing up and down on her toes. “I want to watch! And maybe I can get some surprise attacks in with my acid!”
The two of them headed off together after Bakugou, cheerily waving a goodbye to the rest of the group. Kaminari waved back at them like it was the last he would ever see of his two friends. Jirou scoffed and turned to look at the two planners left in their group. “Let’s call them the distraction, then… Momo, Midoriya, do you guys have any ideas?”
Bakugou’s arms throbbed inside his gauntlets.
The wounds from his finals match had been healed by Recovery Girl  - the old hag had been surprised that he’d been hurt so bad, even though Deku was in the next bed over with a shitty bruised spine, as if he wasn’t just as dedicated to winning even if it means shattering every bone in his damn arm – but the memory of just how much it hurt was still in there.
He almost wished Kirishima was here to guard his back. Shitty Hair could take a punch, at least. Maybe even one of All Might’s. But he didn’t need him to win. All he needed was the chance to get in one good blow of his own this time –
A sound behind him. He whirled around, one sweat-filled hand slinging behind him with even more force. As soon as he could see his target, he would –
Something closed around his wrist. A sudden jerking sensation as his arm was pulled upwards, and the explosion seared harmlessly into the air.
All Might was holding him suspended by one hand. Like a freaking ragdoll. “Ah, young hero! I might have expected you to come face me head-on.”
Instead of replying, he tried to blast the man with his other hand. It joined the other above his head just as quickly, held in that same massive grip. “What are you doing? DON’T RESTRAIN ME, YOU SHITTY – let me fight, old man!”
All Might propped his free hand on his hip. “A brave face, huh? You must really want a rematch. I think your sleeveless uniform’s really going to put you at a disadvantage in this round…”
He cocked his hand, fingers spread stiffly for a grab or chop, and Bakugou wasn’t afraid, he wasn’t, but that didn’t keep his body from flinching, a fruitless attempt to protect himself from the painful blow.
His captor paused. “Young Bakugou, are you – are you frightened of me?”
“No.”
He lowered his arm enough for Bakugou to get his feet on the ground – still up on his toes, but at least he wasn’t hanging there like a sack of meat. “My boy, I must say that I’m very sorry about the end of our last battle. I wouldn’t have stopped you so forcefully if I didn’t think you were about to seriously injure yourself.”
“I’m not fucking afraid, okay? Just hit me already so I can hit back.”
All Might looked unconvinced. “Ah, that’s… good, young hero! Such an indomitable spirit!” His smile grew impossibly wider. “Besides, you won’t come to any harm today!”
“Oh yeah? Then what the fuck are we here to do, talk each other into submission? And what do you mean, I’m at a disadvantage because my uniform doesn’t have sleeves?”
“Ah, yes.” All Might cocked his hand again. His fingers were wiggling this time, and somehow this spiked Bakugou’s apprehension in an entirely different way. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
He’d never put much thought into a costume redesign, but as All Might’s evil hands came in contact with his bare armpits he decided that he needed more armor. Immediately. “W-whahaHAT! THE HEHEHELL?!” His palms were sparking uselessly into the sky, face bent into a helpless grin, and shit he was glad that none of the others in his class were here right now.
It was a relief, almost, not to be thrust into another bloody fight with his hero, but that didn’t stop him from kicking and screaming bloody murder, still on his tiptoes as he strained for some leverage to protect himself. All Might was chuckling. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you smile, young Bakugou! A very good imitation of my trademark, but perhaps we can do better!”
“NOHO – nowecan’t – AHAHA!” His entire torso was helpless under the attack, and his face hurt from smiling so hard. It wasn’t long before he couldn’t take it anymore. “OKAY nonONO not thaHAT just fucking STOP I GIVE I GIVE!”
All Might let him down gently, giving one last triumphant laugh as he patted Bakugou on the back. “An admirable effort, my boy.”
“I didn’t even do anything,” he mumbled into the ground. Was he still grinning? He was, like an idiot. He was an idiot. This was terrible.
Footsteps skidded into the street. “Bakubro, we heard you screaming – laughing? – oh shit, he’s here-”
Bakugou forced his head up. Kirishima and Mina. They’d probably followed him in.
He snorted. “You’re next, morons. Better run if you’re ticklish.”
They’d worked three-quarters of the way through a plan involving Sero’s tape (just. So much tape), Tsuyu’s mucus secretion, and a titanium bondage set from Momo when an explosion roared through the air.
“Kacchan,” Deku gasped. His theory was confirmed when the explosion died down only to be replaced with cursing at only a slightly reduced volume. And then there was the screaming.
“Such darkness,” Tokoyami intoned. “It will swallow us all.”
The screams continued, Bakugou sounding truly desperate. “OKAY nonONO not thaHAT just fucking STOP I GIVE I GIVE!”
Mineta fainted.
The racket tapered off at last, All Might’s laugh echoing tinnily in their ears as they all shivered. “Do you think he’s still alive?” Uraraka whispered. “Man, this is scary.”
Deku’s mind raced. The other students were thinking frantically too, but he had two pieces of information that no one else knew.
The first: In all the videos he’d seen of All Might, he’d never heard of him making a villain beg for mercy. All Might preferred to harm the villains he captured as little as possible, making it easier to the police to detain them without having to provide medical treatment and having the added effect of minimizing property damage.
The second: He’d grown up with Kacchan, who had never been in the habit of screaming in anything other than rage. The only thing that had ever made him howl like that had happened when they were little, and it was – it was –
Oh.
“Midoriya’s about to faint,” Todoroki said.
“Deku?” Uraraka shook him. “What’s going on?”
He swallowed. “We need to split up and hide. Now.”
The class looked at each other in alarm. If even he couldn’t maintain his determination…
They were all going to die.
“We’re not going to die!” Mina gushed. “This is so fun! This is fantastic!”
She and Kirishima were sprinting away from All Might as fast as they could, taking corners at random in hopes that they would lose him. “Yeah, if we can make it back to the others, they’ll definitely be less scared!”
“Are you certain of that, young hero?”
They both skidded to a stop, but Kirishima still crashed into All Might’s massive chest and rebounded onto the ground. Mina shot past them both with a shriek. “All Might!”
The man crouched over him. “I was surprised not to find you with your friends, young Kirishima.”
“We were trying to find Bakugou,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “Mina and I are really bad with directions though, so we got lost until we heard him screaming.”
“It seems you arrived at the perfect time to become my next victim,” the hero intoned, and wow that smile was the most ominous thing he’d ever seen now.
“I – haha –“ Kirishima spluttered, before remembering that he had a quirk. “Ha!” he exclaimed, activating his quirk and feeling immensely relieved as his skin hardened to a rock-like texture. “There’s no way you can tickle me now!”
“It will be more difficult,” All Might mused. Suddenly, he yanked one of Kirishima’s boots off. “I wonder, do your palms and soles harden as well?”
Kirishima, who’d had his quirk for all of twelve years, suddenly couldn’t remember. He glanced frantically at one of his hands and mentally cheered. “Ah, they do.”
All Might frowned, as much as he could frown. “If all your skin hardens, it’s pretty surprising that you can move at all…” Taking Kirishima’s foot gently in his hand, he rotated it right and left. “If this works, then…”
Kirishima felt something brush against his ankle, and without thinking, snickered at the ticklish sensation.
All Might’s grin came back in full force. Hesitantly, Kirishima offered him a weak smile. “Uh… maybe I just have a really cool quirk… and tickling definitely won’t work on me?”
Turned out, his ankles were traitors. A few scratches from All Might and he was already giggling frantically, his other foot drumming against the ground as he tried to roll over and crawl away. Even worse, as he lost focus his quirk began to waver, and despite his effort of squeezing his eyes shut and trying to will the laughter away he could feel his protective shell softening around him.
“Not so tough now, young hero,” All Might teased, and Kirishima groaned internally at the joke as his torture became a thousand times worse. The soles of his feet, the soft skin behind his knees – even squeezing his calf produced a new wave of laughter from him.
He couldn’t take it. No wonder Bakugou had been collapsed on the ground. “Mihihina…. MINA, HELP!”
A pair of pink arms wound themselves around All Might’s neck – Mina, jumping on his back. “Hi! All Might-sensei, can I go next?”
The tickling eased up a little as All Might turned his head to smile at her. “You know, my girl, this is technically a test.”
She pouted. “I know, but… tickling! I already failed my practical anyway, so I’m sure I’ll have to take the remedial classes. I might as well relax and have some fun while I can instead of running! Right, Kirishima?”
Panting, he considered this situation. This was definitely more fun than a fight, and it was really nice after the nightmare of preparing for finals. “Heh… yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I can hardly refuse such a polite request,” All Might proclaimed grandly, “but first, I need to hear a surrender from young Kirishima here!” He reached a hand up to scratch at Kirishima’s ribcage, the boy squeaking as he tried to bat it away.
“I could help,” Mina offered slyly.
“No, yOU CAHAN’T!” Two pairs of hands hovered over him, Mina reaching over All Might’s shoulder with her evilest grin. “Wait, wait, I give!”
All Might roared with laughter, offering Kirishima a hearty embrace as he wobbled to his feet. “A smart decision! She’s very determined!”
He glared half-heartedly at Mina, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “I’m going to get you for this.” He turned to All Might. “Do we get to watch the others?”
“You do have to leave the training ground. However, your Aizawa-sensei’s in the evaluation room. If he permits you to enter, then you can watch with him!”
“Cool! I’ll see you there, Ashido.” He looked around. “Which way is the exit again?”
As he left, Mina prepared to jump off All Might and take off – she felt like running at least a little bit, after seeing how wrecked Kirishima looked. But before she could so much as loosen her grip, All Might spoke in a decidedly villainous voice. “Well, young Ashido, this means it’s your turn now.”
He grabbed her uniform and yanked, and the next thing she knew she had tumbled over his shoulder and straight into his arms with a surprised shout. He dropped to the ground, cross legged, and released her unceremoniously into his lap. “Wow, you move… really fast, sensei!”
All Might chuckled. Evilly. “You said you wanted to relax, young hero? Perhaps you’d like a massage?” His fingers dug into the muscle at the back of her shoulders, and she found herself squealing with laughter as they hunched up instinctively. “Hm… you don’t look very relaxed. Maybe a different technique?” Said technique was a light massaging of her ribcage that had her curled into a shaking ball, giggling her head off. “This seems a bit harsh… are you really having fun, young Ashido?”
“Yehehes!” she giggled, burying her head in his shoulder. “Lohots of fun!”
His breath stirred her hair as he huffed with laughter. “All right, then.” He continued happily, paying special attention to her neck when he discovered that tickling her there produced actual cackles. She lasted for nearly three minutes before slapping at his hands and gasping breathlessly for mercy.
All Might waited until she caught her breath to move, standing them up together. She jumped onto him once more, offering him a hug from the front this time. He returned it slowly, a little surprised but pleased nonetheless. “You’ve had your fun, young Ashido! I hope you’ll apply as much dedication to attaining mastery of your studies!”
“I will”, she promised, climbing to his shoulder and somersaulting off to the ground. “Thanks a lot, All Might-sensei! It’s really nice of you and Aizawa-sensei to do this for us!”
He had to point her in the direction of the exit as well. She left with a cheerful smile, and he smiled in return as he cracked his knuckles.
Time to find his next target.
108 notes · View notes
jojotier · 5 years
Text
lil masterpost of some of my favorite golden trio interactions that ive written vfkjv
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seriously if you’re a fic writer and you haven’t tried to write these three interacting, I suggest you try. at least once. Seriously, writing them always leaves a smile on my face...
Some more that were so long that I decided to like, at least put it under the cut to save everyone the space and breathing room:
~~
“He’s a cute guy- always wondered what it’d have been like to meet him, you know, take him out somewhere fancy…” Shiraishi wiggled his eyebrows and Asirpa nigh instantaneously appeared to smack him over his bald head with a wooden spoon. “Hey-! What’d I say?!”
“Don’t be weird, Shiraishi!” Asirpa huffed, wagging the spoon in her hand. “Or else we’re going to have to crack your egg head over a pot and have you for breakfast!”
Shiraishi whined, “Mannnn why are you two always bullying me?! I’m the oldest! If anyone should be bullying anyone, it should be me bullying someone!!”
“But you won’t! Because you know what’s good for you,” Sugimoto teased, pouring himself and Shiraishi a cup of coffee.
Asirpa said from her place beside Shiraishi, “Pour me a cup too! Black, please.”
Sugimoto felt a sudden, terrified shiver run down his spine. “... Are you sure about that, Asirpa? That’s… this is a really bitter brand, so-”
“Black,” Asirpa repeated, slowly raising her spoon. She tapped it on her other hand, eyes blazing. Sugimoto felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. “What is it, Sugimoto? Do you not think I can handle it, Sugimoto? Do you think I’m too much of a child? Sugimoto? Well? Are you saying little Asirpa is too much of a baby to handle coffee in its natural state? Sugimoto, are you saying-”
“Alright, alright! I’m pouring you some now…” Sugimoto said, pouring her some of the coffee while trying to bite back a laugh.
Shiraishi’s eyes widened in vague awe. “Man… black? I thought you’ve never had coffee before,”
“That’s because I never have.” Asirpa nodded, moving back to the little kitchenette to take the cup from Sugimoto. “ Huci never bought it much, and my aca used to say that it was too weak to even bother with. Watching you two load it down with sugar and cream, and knowing Sugimoto has a weak tongue-”
“Hey-!” Sugimoto said, slightly offended.
“- I’ve decided that it can’t be bitter at all. You’re both just weak.” Asirpa declared, before taking a giant, ill-advised gulp of her coffee. Shiraishi started to say something, but it caught in his throat, leaving him to just make a weird noise like a dying whale. Asirpa stood stock still for a second, black coffee dripping a little onto the corner of her mouth, as she took a shaky swallow. She looked up at Sugimoto, tears in her slightly squinted eyes as she tried to give a smile that didn’t look like she was in immense pain. “S. See. Not. Bitter at all,”
Sugimoto bust out laughing, trying to rein it in a bit because maybe it was a bit of an asshole thing, to laugh at a kid, but even still… it was pretty hilarious. “Really! Really now! I see that face you’re making- you think its as bitter as we do!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!” Shiraishi joined in, laughing a bit himself.
“Do not- look,” Then Asirpa, face flushing, tried to drink the rest in a few fell gulps. A little bit of the hot, bitter drink dribbled down her chin and onto her shirt as she finished, looking like she was regretting pretty much all of her life choices. Asirpa made a face and squinted, sticking out her tongue. “Ugh… I think I burned my tongue….”
~~
“... So it’s an ugly thing that’s a pile of junk, is what you’re saying,” Shiraishi snickered a bit. “So antiquated that not even JAXA wants to knock this thing into the gravity and get it down out of this airspace!”
Asirpa’s cheeks puffed out slightly in disdain. “... I’m not giving that a response. This is still neat!!! You just have no taste.”
“Oh no, yeah, it’s pretty neat,” Shiraishi ceded, glancing back out at the station. He snickered under his breath some more. “Lots of historical significance, probably… looks like an old-timey soup can.”
Sugimoto snorted at that, a wide grin splitting over his face. “Come on, that’s mean. It looks like a tin bucket from one of those cowboy movies, at least- the ones that hold all the bullets.”
“Those buckets aren’t historically accurate- bullets weren’t really that big…” Asirpa corrected, tapping at her watch’s interface. Then, her head dipped down a bit, what stray hairs that remained free from her braid falling in her face as she bit her lip, looking absolutely goofy. “... Looks kind of like a big asinru, though…”
“Hey, look!!! Sugimoto look!!” Shiraishi leaned forward, hands gripping on the railing and feet braced against it as his face lit up. “She talks so big but she thinks that ship looks funny too!”
“It’s your fault!” Asirpa uselessly tossed one of the plastic maps at Shiraishi. It went like five centimeters, and then uselessly fwumped onto the ground with a weird sound, not unlike the sound one got when shaking out a laminated paper. Asirpa chose to ignore that. “You have me thinking of tin can shaped things-!!” Shiraishi started laughing, chest shaking a bit as his grip tightened on the railing.
Sugimoto snickered a bit, eyes crinkling at the corners, “Last I checked, only you can have yourself thinking things.”
Asirpa tried to toss a map at Sugimoto, throwing it like a frisbee to see if that would get any lift. No dice. It went an even closer distance and fluttered uselessly down, sliding away from Sugimoto entirely. Shiraishi guffawed, and before Asirpa could open her mouth, there was a solid thunk. Shiraishi yelped as he hit the ground, still slightly red-faced from laughing. He’d fallen off. Sugimoto gave a hearty laugh at that.
“See,” Asirpa said, looking at Shiraishi, “this is what you get. Karma.”
Shiraishi whined, rolling over onto his back with a pout. “Let’s just get this trespassing over with…” Both Sugimoto and Asirpa giggled a bit together.
~~
“Well, we figured since it was New Years, it’d be nice to drop by-” Sugimoto started to say before being slightly tilted off balance, shoved vaguely to the side. A second face appeared, slightly lower than Sugimoto’s face and flushed lightly. The smell of sake on this stranger’s breath nearly made Tsukishima recoil, knuckles turning white as his free hand clenched into a fist.
“Heyyyyy, Tsukihime-san!” The bald stranger grinned, head seeming to bob from side to side. “It’s so good t’ see you- great to meetcha, I’m Shiraishi Yoshitake-”
“Where’s the dog.” came a third voice, and soon a third face, belonging to a girl much shorter and younger than the two above her, peered into the gap.
“Asirpa, please,” Sugimoto laughed a little, trying to hide the smile behind his hand, “don’t make it look like that’s the only reason-!”
“But you said yourself that you wanted to pet the dog, Sugimoto,” Asirpa’s eyebrows rose as she tipped her head back, staring at the scarred man in the door.
“Well-!” Sugimoto’s face flushed a bit as well, giving a bit of a sheepish look. “I also wanted to say hi to the owner, of the dog.”
Tsukishima glanced over the three of them. It was unlikely that Sugimoto had ill intent, bringing both a drunk and a pre-teen along with him. He kept his pocket knife in his pocket and opened the door just a bit wider, looking to his impromptu guests and remembering Nugget in the living room, whining underneath the table. “Sorry. My dog doesn’t like being around a lot of people- he’s easily spooked.”
“The dog or you?” Shiraishi snickered a bit, seemingly trying to peer over Tsukishima’s shoulder into the apartment. Tsukishima reconsidered not thinking about the merits of “accidental” greeting stabs in the future. Except there wouldn’t be a future, because Tsukishima didn’t want to deal with visitors. “Noah Fence, dude, but you’re like- this super hermit! I don’t think anyone’seen you outside this apartment... Tha’s what I heard from other people-”
The girl, Asirpa, turned around and kicked Shiraishi in the shins. Sugimoto followed suit, smacking Shiraishi upside the head while glaring at him. Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as he went to close the door anyway. “Good night, Sugimoto. Asirpa.”
“Wait! Wait,” Sugimoto shoved his hand in the door hastily, trying to fold in on himself so he could hold up a package wrapped in paper the same shade of blue and white that the headband that Asirpa wore was. Of course, the designs were much different, looking more like silver leaves and boars. That’s right- it was the year of the boar soon, wasn’t it?
“We made too much mochi and yokan,” Asirpa explained, peering up at Tsukishima.
~~
“Awww, but Asirpa~” Sugimoto gave a mock pitiful whine, pushing his lower lip out like a child. “How am I gonna give miso to Huci to go with the feast?”
“We don’t need any of your poop near our shit,” Asirpa said, turning up her nose. At that, Shiraishi lost it and rolled onto his side, chortling the entire while.
Sugimoto gave a delicate gasp. “Asirpa, language! Who taught you to say that? Did Shiraishi here rub off on you,”
“I taught myself to say it,” Asirpa stuck out her tongue, but she knew no one was being serious about it. Sugimoto wasn’t the type of person to become faint just because someone younger than him said something mildly uncouth, as she’d done many times before. Sugimoto chuckled himself, a wider grin breaking out over his face.
Soon, the laughter died down again, and Sugimoto rested his cheek harder against his hand. It wasn’t nearly as cold and oppressive as before- but there was still an odd undertone, to the quiet that surrounded them. Something left unsaid.
“Man.” Sugimoto sighed, looking wistfully at the fire, “I wish I still had my miso. We could’ve used it with dinner earlier.”
It was quiet for a few seconds more before Asirpa suddenly remembered- in her coat… She didn’t remember if she’d used the last of it before, in the meal they had outside this place, but she still reached into an innermost pocket and pulled out the small metal tin. Shuffling around to Sugimoto, she presented it to him and opened the lid, showing just the smallest trace of brown miso in a corner.
Sugimoto’s eyes widened, a happy smile coming onto his face. “Oh man-! You did keep it! I would’ve thought for sure you were gonna use it as anosoma box or something, for anything you find-”
“Oh come on, that’s so gross!” Asirpa felt her eyes burn at the mere thought of it. Or maybe they burned because she was squinting so hard it looked as if her eyes had receded back into her face flesh. Sugimoto snorted, trying to keep his giggles in as Asirpa silently worked through how to even respond to that. After a moment, her face loosened back into a more contemplative expression.
“... Besides. You liked it so much that you would try to make my poor old Huci try it- so we had to keep it for when you came back.”
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MTVS Epic Rewatch #208
Don’t forget to vote on the season 7 polls!!
BTVS 7x21 End of Days
Stray thoughts
1) So this is how Faith is doing as the leader…
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…and this is how Buffy is doing as the outcast Slayer…
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder who’s the boss… (maybe we should ask Abed.)
2) I don’t like seeing Faith hurt, but I do get a very sick (I admit it) satisfaction at seeing all these girls hurt and scared because they kicked Buffy out and they screwed everything up in the worst possible fashion. I know that by having Faith lead them into yet another trap the writers were trying to prove the point that what happened at the vineyard could’ve happened to anyone and that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault (Buffy will make this same point herself later on the episode.) Both Buffy and Faith were trying to do what they thought was best, yet it backfired. Shit happens yada yada yada. Yet I just can’t help but feel personally vindicated when I see Faith and the potentials fuck everything up so spectacularly.
On the other hand, not only was Buffy able to pull herself together after the group (and her friends! Her family!) kicked her out and made her feel like the worst piece of shit in the whole world, but she also managed to A) get the scythe and B) make Caleb nervous, which was a first. So yeah. #teamBuffy
3) So why exactly were the Scoobies looking for Buffy? I mean, didn’t they kick her out literally the day before? And now they’re suddenly worried about her or something? The only person who followed Buffy after they all kicked her out was Faith. Faith! Do you see how wrong/ironic that this? Do you see how painful it must’ve been for Buffy not to have NONE OF HER FRIENDS – not Xander, not Willow, not Giles, not even her own sister! – go after her to see if she was okay? To ask her where she was going or what she was going to do? The only person who showed any concern whatsoever about her was probably the only person she would’ve labeled a potential enemy. 
Damn you all, I’m still pissed off. I hate this. I hate having to feel this way about the characters I’ve loved for seven seasons in the FINAL EPISODES OF THE SHOW. It just feels so wrong, but I can’t help but HATE THEM. What the hell was this fucking writing choice? I hate it. I hate everything about it.
4) If I have to say something in favor of Kennedy is this, when shit hit the fan, she was the only one who wasn’t screaming like a moron and who was actually trying to fight off the Turok-Han. So yeah. The girl got spunk.
5) But she’s nothing compared to our designated BAMF.
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6) No one is kicking Buffy out now, HUH? HUH???????????????????
7)
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Yes. Yes, you did.
8) And this is exactly why they shouldn’t have kicked her out or “rebelled” against her or whatever the fuck they thought they were doing.
BUFFY You guys, it was a trap. It's not her fault. That could've just as easily happened to me.
9) While I do appreciate the pun and the side glances between Buffy and Willow…
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I still feel it’s very wrong they’re all just talking and Giles is playing around with the scythe as if the last time they’d been together they HADN’T HUMILIATED BUFFY AND KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN FUCKING HOUSE???? LIKE SERIOUSLY??? In Willow’s own words, you're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.
Like, I know the apocalypse takes precedence, but maybe say “sorry for kicking you out” and “thank you for saving us AGAIN”.
10)
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11) Again, I get the same feeling with Xander. Like, did they all suddenly forget they had left Buffy alone and kicked her out of her own house? Xander is all like, “I don’t need you to protect me just because I lost an eye” but literally a day before he was telling her it was HER fault he’d lost it, and using that as a justification not only for removing her from her role as a leader but also TO KICK HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. And now it’s just like nothing ever happened? How is that possible? How is literally no one apologizing to Buffy? And not only is he not apologizing, but Buffy is telling him that he’s her heart and the reason she’s still alive, which okay, it’s all kind of true, but he’s also the guy WHO BLAMED YOU FOR LOSING HIS EYE AND WHO KICKED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE THE DAY BEFORE?!
I didn’t know that End of Days could make me as angry as Empty Places but here I am.
We’re 14 minutes into the episode and still, no one has apologized to Buffy and they’re all pretending like they didn’t turn their backs on her and it’s pissing me off. I hate feeling this way in the episode prior to the series finale. This is not how a fan should be feeling right before the show ends!
12) Not only do I know what a glottal stop is but I’ve also learned how to pronounce it. Or at least I was able to pronounce it a few years ago. 
13) And hence the fate of Miss Kitty Fantastico was finally revealed…
DAWN Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
If you must hate Dawn, it should only be for this.
14) Did anyone really believe Xander would hurt Dawn?
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15) What was the point of this scene…?
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…I mean, other than to give us Nathan Fillion’s orgasm face?
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16) And this is the difference between Buffy and the rest… just remember how everyone reacted and treated Buffy after the vineyard, and see how she acts here after literally the same happened with Faith in charge…
FAITH What do you want me to say? I blew it.
BUFFY You didn't blow it.
FAITH Tell that to—
BUFFY People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death.
She’s understanding and reassuring, she’s not pointing fingers or kicking people out. And that’s why she’s a hero and the rest are a fucking bunch of morons. I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about Empty Places and this episode is not making things any better.
17) But I do love when my two slayers see eye to eye…
FAITH So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.(…) No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than... (…) Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
BUFFY Yeah.
FAITH And that's you every day, isn't it?
BUFFY I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer.
FAITH There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
BUFFY Also, you went evil and were killing people.
FAITH Good point. Also a factor.
BUFFY But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
FAITH And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.
BUFFY Takes the edge off.
FAITH Comforting.
BUFFY Mm-hmm.
This is something that had been a long time coming. Since day one, Faith had envied Buffy. Just like Buffy saw in Faith her road not taken, Faith saw in Buffy the life she could’ve had but didn’t. She envied it and she wanted it for herself. She literally tried to steal it away several times. So if she couldn’t have it, if it wasn’t meant for her, then she could take Buffy away from it, drive her to the dark side, where she lived. Every attempt was futile, even stealing Buffy’s body and literally taking her life. It only made her feel more undeserving, more inadequate, more unworthy. But every time she’d taken a shot at being the leader, it was by playing tricks, by taking what it wasn’t rightfully hers. This time around, she had somehow earned it. There was no foul play on her part. Others made the decision for her and gave her the role she’d craved for so long. And she finally understood that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, Buffy did have friends and people who looked up to her and cared about her. But when push comes to shove, when tough calls must be made, the Slayer is always alone. The weight of the world is only on her shoulders, and she can’t share the burden. It took four seasons but Faith finally got it. And she could finally let go of all the envy and jealousy.
18) I just love the fact that for the first time Buffy is the one who opens up to Spike. She’s always been the one who pretends there’s nothing between them and who skirts around her feelings and dismisses his. But not this time. And for me, it was enough that she acknowledged that it meant something, even if they – and we – don’t know exactly what that was.
BUFFY You're a dope.
SPIKE I'm a what?
BUFFY You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.
SPIKE Have you gone completely carrot-top?
BUFFY Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. Look, I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. You know, I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not—
SPIKE Terrified.
BUFFY Of what?
SPIKE Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.
BUFFY Spike...
SPIKE It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but—
BUFFY I just told you it did.
SPIKE Yeah... I hear you say it, but... I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell, but... I've never... been close... to anyone. Least of all, you. 'Til last night. All I did was... hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah... I'm... terrified.
BUFFY You don't have to be.
SPIKE Were you there with me?
BUFFY I was.
SPIKE What does that mean?
BUFFY I don't know. Does it have to mean something?
SPIKE No. Not right now.
19) Update: 29 minutes in and I’m still waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
20) Am I the only who thinks this speech is okay but like, the writers were trying too hard to give Anya her “Anya Speech Moment” of the season and it kind of feels a bit, I don’t know, forced?
ANYA Well...I guess I was...kinda new to bein' around humans before. But now I've... seen a lot more, gotten to know people... seen what they're capable of, and... I guess I just realized...how amazingly screwed-up they all are. I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die...which they...they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
21) #priorities
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22) And in another episode of Plots Totally Pulled Out of the Writer’s Ass… (a.k.a. Joss Whedon Tries to Rectify the Fact that He Wrote a Bunch of Men Violating the Original Slayer by Putting a Demon Inside of Her and Thus Utterly Destroyed the Whole Slayerness Equals Feminism Theme)
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WOMAN We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who...
BUFFY Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
WOMAN Ahh, yes. Then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.
BUFFY Oh! So you're like... what are you?
WOMAN Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Okay, I get it, I get what you were trying to do, but it was so fucking obvious, it was so transparent. Like, I know most of the so-called metaphors in this show were not so subtle (think the fucking monster-penis in Doublemeat Palace, for instance.) But the feminist struggle in the slayer vs the council struggle was always something that I personally enjoyed. And this is how Joss’s brand of “feminism” began to crumble down, in my opinion. This is what a white dude who is a self-proclaimed feminist believes to be a Good feminist storyline, but it’s so clichéd and self-evident it's almost cringe-worthy. Like, you get a bunch of Evil Men quite literally raping a Poor Woman, who is faked Empowered (her powers were lent to her by the Evil Men and the source of her powers is Evil, Demonic in nature because  duh! she is a Woman)  so that they can Manipulate her and Use her for the benefit of the Patriarchy. But oh wait! This is a Feminist Show! So in spite of what the Evil Men who were supposedly the Powerful ones did, there always were These Great and Powerful Women behind it all, the True Guardians of the Slayer, This has been a Matriarchy all along, you see?! PLOT TWIST!
Yawn.
The worst part? I can imagine all the writers patting themselves on the back for writing such a groundbreaking and Feminist storyline and for sticking it to the Men.
23) And btw, just to show you how big a Feminist Show this is, we get this…
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I guess since this is a Feminist Show and Angel is the hero here and Buffy the damsel in distress, that makes Angel a woman, right?
But hey, at least he (or she?) literally let Buffy deliver the lethal blow…
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24) And yes, this totally makes sense!
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because Angel has not claimed to be in love with Cordelia and Buffy has not just had her more honest heart-toheart with Spike. Let’s just disregard whatever arcs have been developed in both shows in order to deliver a Ship Moment for the Bangel fans, right? Who cares about character development, right? Because I’m positive this is what former lovers do after not seeing each other in over a year, being currently emotionally unavailable, and facing the greatest evil of all. Suck face.
25) Update: minute 42 and I’m STILL waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.
26) Sorry for the bitter rant! 
27)  If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!
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solarpunksoftie · 7 years
Text
Frantic (Too Deep)
Fandoms:
Thomas Sanders
Characters:
Anxiety Sanders Patton Sanders | Morality
Additional Tags:
Crying, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Wounds, Blood, seriously a lot of blood, this ones messy, this is what happens when you fuck up kids, Whump, gotta hurt the tired boi, it gets fluffy at the end, Self Loathing, Unreliable Narrator
Summary:
Anxiety thinks he's cut too deep. In a panic he runs to Dad for help.
A/N:
this is gonna get really trigger happy. this one is really bloody. read safely kids!
http://archiveofourown.org/works/10967349
Anxiety bit the inside of his cheek as he slid the razor across his thigh for the dozenth time in the last five minutes. The blade had stopped hurting the way he had wanted it to about two cuts ago, but they still bled the same. He always took the numbness as a sign to stop. If he couldn't react to them to the correct degree, there was no telling what kind of damage he'd do.
Heaving a shaky sigh, Anxiety pulled his hand away to admire his handy work. Twelve lines criss-crossed across his right thigh, barely discernible under the pool of blood that was quickly growing tacky on his skin. He felt a wave of disgust at himself as usual. He wasn't sure why he even did this. It never made him feel better. you deserve it you're evil and cruel you should be punished punish yourself because no one else will
Gritting his teeth he dug his fingernails into the mess of cuts. He couldn't stop bleeding yet, he wasn't done yet, he deserved more. moremoremore He felt a ripple of satisfaction as the blood under his fingers went from tacky to slick again, followed once more by disgust.
what am i doing you deserve it i cant believe im doing this to myself there needs to be more i must have some serious issues one more cut cant hurt
one more
Anxiety readied his hand again. this is the last one tonight He bit his cheek as he pressed the razor into his skin. He didn't see new blood spring to the surface through all the blood already smeared across his leg, but he didn't have to. He knew what he was doing.
A loud bang from the hallway made him jump, his head whipping to his door. He sat frozen for a long second before he realized that had come from down the hall. its past midnight, logan and roman must've been up talking. princy probly slammed his door cuz he lost an argument as usual. Anxiety smirked at the prospect of the Royal trait losing a debate with Logan again, and turned back to his leg, only to bite back a shriek.
There was so much more blood than before, pooling, bubbling eagerly out of his skin.
my hand slipped oh god what have i done
His heart hammering in his throat, he lunged for the nearest absorbent material, a thick flannel, off his bed.
theres so much blood theres so much
His breath grew ragged as he pressed the shirt to his leg, watching the black fabric grow darker with blood until it was entirely soaked.
it wont stop why wont it stop
He looked frantically around his room, trying to remember how to care for serious bleeds. But healing wasn't his department. He had no idea.
oh my god im gonna bleed to death
He needed help. His stomach churned just at the thought of letting any of the others see him like this, but he was terrified. He was shaking and getting light headed and he couldn't tell if it was from panicking or blood loss. Probably blood loss; always better to assume the worst with an injury involved.
Anxiety's mind raced through who he could go to. He couldn't go to Logan because he was probably in a foul mood after his argument with Roman, and Anxiety didn't want to ruin his night further. Roman was the same, but Anxiety hadn't really considered him an option in the first place because you can't hope and dream a serious injury away. Roman would be useless no matter what. Thomas was out of the question as well. The host was already onto him, and if he went to Thomas now he'd just get an "I knew it" and he would be insufferably smug. So that left Dad.
Could he live with upsetting Patton with this? Patton was always so happy and sensitive and easily upset by the littlest things. What would showing him this even do to the sunny trait? itd horrify him hed be so devastated you cant do this to- His wound throbbed painfully, making him whimper and snapping him back to the urgency of his decision. i need help NOW
Swallowing his guilt, Anxiety pushed himself to his feet, biting down against a groan of pain as he put weight on his leg.
shit theres probably muscle damage and youre gonna be permanently disabled and everyones gonna know about this and theyll hate you
He stifled his breath in his hoodie sleeve as he limped silently from his room, making sure the coast was clear before pushing out into the hall. Morality was two doors down, he'd have to pass Logan to get there.
h es gonna hear you you need to be quieter dont disturb him DONT USE THE WALL FOR SUPPORT YOULL GET BLOOD ON IT just keep it together youre almost there
It felt like hours before he was at Patton's door, hesitating to knock even as he felt his pants soaking with blood. is this really worth bothering him ab-
The door swung open and Patton nearly crashed into Anxiety standing in the door. "Woah! Hey there kiddo! I was just gonna go down to the kitchen to get a midnight..." Patton's chipper demeanor faltered as he actually looked at the boy standing in front of him. He went white as a sheet. "...snack."
Anxiety's hair was disheveled, the bags under his eyes were darker than usual, and his expression was pinched in pain. Oh and he was covered in blood. There was so much blood. "Hey dad... sorry to bother you." Anxiety was shaking like a leaf and his voice was so small. As he spoke, a couple fat tears rolled down his cheeks. "I fucked up."
Patton instantly became serious. Without a word he stepped aside and guided Anxiety into his room, offering him the comfy arm chair he used for reading. Anxiety just stood and stared at the chair, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to protest but Patton held up a hand to silence him. "Son, sit in the chair. I can't help you if you're standing."
Anxiety hesitated a moment more before nodding and limping over to the chair to sink into its fluffy cushions. Any other time Anxiety would've fought to sit in this chair, but now he felt like he was just ruining it and it made him feel claustrophobic with how plush it was. Morality didn't even have to prompt him to remove his jeans before he was shimmying out of them, holding back from crying out in pain. The tears hadn't stopped flowing down his cheeks, and it was taking a surprising amount of effort to keep from erupting into full out sobbing.
While Anxiety had been fighting with his blood soaked skinny jeans, Morality had gone and produced a first aid kit and was kneeling in front of the chair. He was still white as a sheet, but he was keeping it together.
"Anxiety, how did this happen?"
There it was, the question Anxiety had known was coming the moment he even considered getting help. He swallowed thickly and stared at the wall. "I-I was, um, I did it. To myself. This was me." Shit his voice was shaking hard.
Patton blinked at the younger trait for a moment, brain momentarily short circuiting. "You mean you accidentally slipped with a knife in the kitchen? Cuz I've had some pretty close calls while opening packages and cutting potatoes, let me tell ya!" He smiled soothingly up at Anxiety as he swabbed the extra blood away from the wound, but it fell again when he saw him shake his head. "Were you working on one of those art projects? You know, the little models? I've seen Logan working on a couple of those and he's had to cut some pretty tough materials. Pretty easy to slip up."
Again, Anxiety shook his head. He couldn't look Morality in the eye, so he closed his before he could find his voice. "No, I did this. Intentionally. It was, um. It was on purpose." He swore inwardly as more tears spilled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, dad." And the first broken sob finally forced its way through. "I didn't mean for it to be this deep, I didn't mean to do this." Anxiety pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes to try to stop the flow of tears as his body shook with more sobs. "Please don't tell the others. It was an accident."
Patton felt his heart break for the boy sitting in front of him. That Anxiety would ever resort to this was shattering news for the empathetic trait, but he swallowed it down. He had to help him through this. He leaned up and took one of Anxiety's hands away from his face, devastated that he thought he had to hide like this. Even when he was right in front of someone he was trying to hide.
"Look at me, son." Anxiety flicked his gaze to meet Patton's before it wandered away and back again. "You're gonna be just fine. I'm not mad at you, and I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. You're gonna be good as new in no time, alright?" He could feel the blood soaking through the gauze he was holding, but he kept his voice soft and his gaze sure until Anxiety nodded. "There ya go, kiddo." He smiled supportively up at the youngest trait before he set about properly staunching the bleeding.
It took a lot of gauze and an ace bandage to keep pressure before the wound stopped bleeding. Anxiety's jaw hurt from gritting his teeth to keep from crying out while pressure was applied, and now he was just tired. He hadn't stopped crying until the bleeding stopped and he felt secure that he was not, in fact, going to bleed to death in Morality's comfy chair.
Now Morality was cleaning himself up and trying to sort out what to say to the injured boy. The boy who called him Dad and was starting to fall asleep in his comfy recliner. The boy who threw insults and jabs as easily as Patton could roll out a pun. His head spun with guilt. How hadn't he noticed that Anxiety was so upset? It was probably his own optimistic nature that had blinded him to any problems. He looked back over at the dozing trait and frowned. He had to fix this.
"Anxiety?"
"Hmm?"
"You know you can come to me, right? About anything?"
Anxiety opened his eyes and looked over at Morality, confused. "Obviously. You're the one I came to, right?"
Morality tried not to grumble at the boy's obliviousness. "Yes you did, and I'm very glad you did. But, you can come to me even if it isn't an emergency. If you just wanna talk or hang out, I'm here. You know that right?"
Anxiety blinked at him a couple times before breaking eye contact. "Yeah, I know. Thanks Dad." The atmosphere had suddenly become too heavy for Anxiety's liking, and he started pushing himself up out of the chair before he felt a hand push him back down into the seat. He blinked at Morality as he lowered back into the cushions.
"I'd be more comfortable if you slept here tonight, Anxiety. You gave me a good scare." It was Patton's turn to avert his gaze this time. He didn't want to ask too much of Anxiety, but he'd be lying if he said he was ok leaving him alone tonight.
Thankfully, Anxiety understood, and simply nodded as he eased back in the chair. "Fair enough. So what's the plan then? Movie marathon?" Anxiety smirked slightly, meaning the suggestion as a joke, but Patton instantly lit up and ran to get a small collection of dog movies from the main room -they'd had a pretty ruff night. Anxiety sighed and let his eyes close. His leg was still throbbing painfully and he was exhausted and really wanted nothing more than to curl up in his own bed. But he understood that he had just scared the crap out of the headspace's father figure and he owed him at least peace of mind.
Anxiety was asleep by the time Patton returned.
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