#im glad you asked i am. but im not the person to talk ab the most egregious of it
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why the hell are there not more posts ab the racism in totk
#?!?#re: anon#im glad you asked i am. but im not the person to talk ab the most egregious of it#im also trying to find the original post i did where i briefly mentioned everything i had noticed
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Hey there! I believe you said in another post that the final confrontation would be unlikely to happen if lenny and sean were alive, so i'd like to ask if you could expand on that pls(if u havent already and i just didnt see it lol)
Btw on a side note im actually super invested in your sean content😭😭the fandom seems to only talk ab him to label as an idiot, so as a fellow sean lover the way you characterize him has me so in love❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh Anon you are SO LOVELY!!! Thank you not only in giving me the opportunity to rant more about Sean and Lenny (which I am always so willing to do), but also for your super kind words!! Sean is very dear to me, and I'm glad my reading into him as much as I do strikes a chord with other people ;;u;;
The way the general fandom often characterizes him isn't very surprising to me, given his personality & the surface level impressions he gives, but maybe for now I'll save THAT rant for another time, else we stay here forever lmaoo
So, to start answering your question, I believe you're talking about my post from a few months ago, where I talk about how I believe Sean & Lenny would've sided with Arthur & John if they'd lived to see the final confrontation. In it I mention how I find that final confrontation a lot more unlikely were Lenny & Sean to survive that far and stick around for the entire thing.
Now, WHY do I believe this? I touch on it briefly in that original post, but let's really get into it here!!
Okay to start off, there's a LOT of ways I see things going, in regards to Sean and Lenny, were they both to survive, because it adds SO MANY variables, but let's start at the very top.
At a meta level, it is important to recognize that RDR2 is a prequel to RDR1. This meant from the get that RDR2, as it is canonically, was bound to a certain outcome, to set up for RDR1. This ALSO means, that every step from the start of RDR2 was very much there not only to lay the groundwork for the end of RDR2 but also add another emotional layer to RDR1. This is all certainly things we are aware of already, but I think it's important to have that context in mind while we talk about alternative outcomes.
Because, see, Sean and Lenny HAD to die for the outcome in RDR2 to be the one it is. Not only them, but Hosea, Kieran, Molly, and Susan's deaths are ALL integral and important to the story, they ALL make a difference and contribute in pushing the story a certain way, and in reinforcing the steadily increasing hopelessness which infest the gang from Sean's death and out.
So if we're like "what if none of them died?" there are suddenly a LOT of new variables for every mission and every scenario we know from the game, which need to be considered. This is true EVEN if the change in survival count is only reduced to Lenny & Sean.
How different do you not think Shady Belle would have felt, initially, without Sean's death hanging over it? What about the bank job -- would Lenny & Sean end up on the boat to Guarma? What would've happened to them there, then? Would either of them be caught by the Pinkertons instead, with John or in his stead maybe? What other options would there have been, where would they end up at the end of that?
And already here we have to consider how those experiences might've impacted them psychologically, because of who they are.
In the post I mentioned earlier, I talk about how Lenny is new to the gang and probably isn't as stuck in it mentally as Arthur and John, nor do Sean and Lenny have the same emotional attachment/baggage in regards to Dutch. They're loyal of course, because they feel a sense of obligation to the gang, because it provides them with safety, friends, and allies, in an otherwise unkind world.
But what then happens when that changes?
How do you expect Sean and Lenny to respond when the gang starts turning on itself? When Dutch visibly starts losing it? When people start snapping at each other and threatening one another in the middle of camp?
(I have a half-formed thought here about how people would ABSOLUTELY be snapping and talking down to Sean in a way more cruel way towards the end of the game, for trying to keep things light and easy, yknow, fulfilling his role in the gang. I can only imagine what that'd end up doing to him, tbh.)
And, I'll be repeating myself from other posts here, but how do you think Lenny, a young black man painfully aware of the social structure as it exists in America at that point in time, would react to realizing what Dutch's plan with the Wapiti is? Same goes for Sean, who has SEVERAL instances through the game showing him just as politically aware as Lenny - certainly moreso than Arthur.
Would the outcome for the Wapiti tribe be the same, do you think, if Charles had more people than a very sick and tired Arthur to lean on, willing to help? Would Lenny in particular want to stick around to see Dutch attempt to drive the tribe into the ground for his own gain?
Also, I'm sorry but like, Lenny has a camp interaction with Dutch where he disagrees with him (about Miller, Dutch's favorite author) and explains why in a very well-articulated manner. In one instance, Dutch gets straight up offended by it, bcz Lenny can argue very well (and is RIGHT mind you lol).
I do absolutely believe that Lenny would not just sit around quietly in Beaver Hollow. I'd expect him to be among the most vocal in their discontent with the situation, and probably the best at arguing against Dutch.
That is, up until a certain point. Lenny is a young black boy, and Dutch is a white authority figure. Watch Dutch snap and yell at him, like he does John in Ch6 for example, and see how much longer Lenny sticks around fr. The trade is loyalty for safety and the same in kind. Why do you think members start leaving when things start looking their worst? And don't you think Lenny would be among the first to see the writing on the wall?
Though that is hinging on that very specific vibe in Beaver Hollow, where they're all scattered and losing their ties to one another. Add then in Sean, who is VITAL as social glue, and for making conversations easier. If he, and Lenny, and Mary-Beth, Tilly, Arthur, Charles, etc etc, insert your favorites here, managed to retain some of that community feeling, despite it all, then I absolutely see Lenny sticking around for them.
Same goes for Sean, tbh. I can see him leaving earlier, bcz the trade stops being equal and bcz he's not being taken seriously, and I can see him staying, for his friends.
There IS also a version of things where things are similar and I do see Sean siding with Dutch; but that is a very sad and lonely Sean, who is VERY different from where he's at in Clemens Point, and I think that's an unfair perspective to take for him in general.
Okay so, now we're back to that final confrontation, after I said I found it unlikely, why is that? Because, with every question I've posed thus far, about what Lenny & Sean's reactions might've been to canon events after their deaths, I have essentially presented a variable that comes with their survival to those points. Them being there for it, HAS to mean a change, has to mean something different happens, because their deaths are direct contributors to the path we already know the story takes WITHOUT their presences.
Now, what are those differences and changes? I honestly can't answer; something being different earlier or later can butterfly-effect into something completely new or remarkably similar to what we already know. I could sit here all day and wax poetic about all the different options and possibilities for where things could go, were ANY character to survive past their death point, BUT thankfully, that is what fanfiction is for, lol.
I hope this satisfied some of your curiosity, dear anon!! It was a lot of fun for me to write and think about, so thank you very much for asking!!!
#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption meta#rdr2#sean macguire#lenny summers#dutch van der linde#arthur morgan#rdr thoughts#teki talks#long post#im sorry this took me a while to answer i had to sleep and then do my irl things and then Stew on this for a while#i hope this all made sense tbh idk if i lost the plot at some point in there. im SURE there's a tangent or two but yknow#ALSO if youre interested in reading a potential take on how things couldve gone if Sean and Lenny survived to chapter 6#my fic Attentive Vigor is a soulmate au game rewrite where their survival is VITAL for the ending to be different from what we know#im almost finished with it! 4 chapters left that im really excited to share#if you like macsummers and sean whump it's got a lot of that after you get past the initial chapters lol#had to do a lil plug lol bcz this topic hits v close to home after all#asks#rdr asks#meta asks
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GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER
THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order
- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops
- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me
- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness
- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why
- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope
- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"
- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)
- Jfabers are winning. And losing also
- Shower scene didn't happen
- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius
- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable
- I accept buff confucius into my life
- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though
- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...
- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!
- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp
- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF
- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS
- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok
- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual
- Abe cute
- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)
- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so
- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer
- Hmmm... Magnets
- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius
- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^
- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys
- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts
ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬
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hi!!!
so sorry for sending another ask lol. i went through every post under the football kiddo au and omg omg omg!! getting such a huge brain rot rn. i recently fell in love with ted lasso and i didn’t realize there was a fandom (most live action shows don’t rlly have one) im just so excited to go more into this wonderful fandom and read these fics along with the post and yk. everything ab being a fangirl lol (wish i got into this show and fandom earlier but better late than never) anyway, i have my own thoughts ab this au that i would love to share.
who can forget everyone’s fav kitman, will! can you imagine will but not a baby will. instead he’s around fifteen or sixteen and had his own emotional trauma and baggage (bcuz every character deserves a good old angsty backstory). and he just helps the kids by giving them water and helping injuries (my highschool has an athletic trainer program. idk if uk schools do but it would be fun). like he’s just a teenager who lives in richmond with everyone else and just starts showing up to help their makeshift football club. and like practically gets adopted my trent and ted. and he sees roy as this older brother (my personal headcanon is will’s an older sibling who ends up being the parent in his house due to his parents being neglectful) and for once he gets to be treated not as a parent. and jamie and sam and the other boys remind him of his younger siblings. also, once he graduates highschool. everyone, the kiddos, ted, roy, beard, trent, rebecca, higgins, etc all show up to his grad. and are screaming from the audience along with his siblings (and his parents aren’t there ofc but his found family is)
also, rebecca is such a cool aunt. like she grows a soft spot for the kids and treats them like she treats nora
sorry about my rambles, i just love this fic so much and i can’t wait for more. also brb gonna read your other works. just i think we both can agree how much we love this little found family.
so much love <33
hi hello hi!! it's so lovely to have you join the fandom, it's a very fun and sweet little corner of the internet and i'm so glad you're here with us now :-) and weeps? WEEPS! i'm overjoyed to hear that you're enjoying the football kiddos au -- i am slowly but steadily working thru chapter 4 and getting comments like this shrimply makes my day.
first of all: I LOVE YOUR WILL THOUGHTS. PLEASE KEEP TALKING. i am ashamed to say that i forgot will existed sjdkfj but i do adore him and his funky ways and i am very [eyes emoji] about a teenage will herding his wee siblings of various ages around town while the adults follow behind and keep anyone from running off into the street. the entire team coming to his graduation........... oh weeps :') this is everything i adore. he'd be so gentle and caring with all of the kiddos but particularly the younger ones, and able to tease the older ones in such a specific Older Brother way. this is so!!! ough. i'm rotating a new plotline for will in my head as we speak.
second of all: you are SO correct about rebecca that is in fact EXACTLY how she's going to be once she finally meets the kiddos. and nora!!! nora my beloved. she and rebecca will be having a large role to play in this fic Mark My Words.
and third of all: please do not apologize, i adore hearing people's rambles about my fics and i cherish each and every comment with all my heart. and yes, we CAN agree on that. this little found family is very incredibly special to meeeeeeee. so much love to you right back!! <3
#ask#cartoonfantic8#weeps. wails. thank youuu mwah#it's been so long since i spoke about this fic but do not fret! it is still near and dear to me!!#football kiddos au#ted lasso#sid speaks
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✮ NEW YEARS APPRECIATION ✮
i just wanted to take some time and thank those who have been with my through the year. first off, i want to thank my followers, especially those that have been with me since my first blog (rip spookydraken u r so missed).
*cue the golden girls theme song* i would like to give special thanks to:
✮ @twdottore — cat, u have been through 1838384 shit shows with me and we are still rockin' n rollin' together. you are my rod, my platonic soulmate. i want to thank you for always encouraging my wild ideas and listening to me rant ab theories and world building. thank you for all the fanart you send me, and all the tiktoks. thank you for always indulging me in selfship ideas and comms. you're my best friend and ilym (i win). i am so so glad u rang in the new year w me last year, and that you're still with me this year. here's to more.
✮ @dxlucs — ur the bubblegum to my marceline. thank u for dealing with me 15 dms + 3 texts in a row, for being there for my biweekly existential crises, and for allowing my to info dump even if it takes you a minute to understand what im getting at. i'd be so stir crazy without u. im so happy we became friends and that we're as close as we are now. i rmr when i fangirled over u following back LMAO. ily and thank u for tolerating me /lh
✮ @myalbedo — bestie. u always know what to say to make someone laugh. ur one of the funniest people i know and you don't even try. thank you for all the cute stuff you send me, for letting me scream when the 'tism gets to be too much, and for threatening to beat people with ur cane for me /lh. im glad that we've gotten close too. stay hot bitch /lh.
✮ @hanmas — ur so unapologetically urself and you inspire me to do the same. i love all of our meta-talk, our 4 am chats, and u giving me excuses to sneak away from work to run a domain w u. i'm so happy we're ikea gfs. i'm gonna buy u the most expensive candy and the giant ikea bear. ily, pretteeist girl in the whole world.
✮ @mxnjiros — ik ur not active here as much, but i love when u come back and my notifications are flooded by you. ur so supportive of ur friends and it shows what a big heart you have. i'm very thankful that i can call u a friend.
✮ @sennsational — i adore u, y'know? ur so talented and creative and every time you drop a new event i'm mind blown. u r one of the sweetest people i have ever met, and here lately u've been that refreshing sip of water i didn't realize i needed. thank you for that, and thank you for being so genuine.
✮ @dilu3 — i never know what you're gonna say and i think that's exciting. you could have me sobbing over my faves or almost peeing in laughter. you're so funny and sweet and i'm glad that we've gotten closer. thank u for letting me scream ab stuff to u and giving me good laughs
✮ @suyacho — you're also another person who is so genuinely sweet. you match my energy and also encourage me to keep going even if it's hard sometimes. thank you snow, for our little talk and crying over itto with me
✮ @alhaithms — i had to include u even though we've only talked outside of asks like three times. but each time i was able to tell how kind you are and it was so easy for me to hold conversation with you, which im not the best at honestly :,) thank u for being so warmhearted and immediately making me feel safe coming to your blog. i hope that we become better friends in the future <3
✮ mutuals — for my more recent moots who i don't know all too well yet, thank you for giving me the opportunity to make your acquaintance and for future friendships. you are all so unbelievably talented and i admire you all so much. if we haven't talked, it's probably bc im too shy/nervous to approach but i will with some time. if we have talked, im super glad we're starting friendships.
i hope the new year is full of good things for all of you. please be kinder to yourselves, you're doing great.
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hey there, im sam, nice to meet you!
im a recent follower and started reading ilal around last month i think? i guess i got here when you had just released chapter 8. im such a big fan of this fic, you have no idea! its probably one of my favorites in all ateez tumblr rn. i wasnt a fan of fanfics that have chapters (ive read one-shots for the longest time) but this preference has started to change recently and ilal has a major role in it. the story and universe is amazing, im truly amazed!
and i love how you write y/n, i see myself A LOT in her. major intimacy and vulnerability fear gang here :)) i swear that some of her thoughts have been literally the same as mine's and thats so endearing and self indulgent to me. i also love her relationship with her sibilings! then being so close is such a heartfelt element in the story for me, as a person whos rlly attached to my sibilings too. and im not even gonna start talking ab the members or else ill write a full thesis about every. single. one. of. them. and. how. they. treat. and. treasure. y/n. so. fucking. much. even though ther relationship has problems.
just wanted to say hi, present myself and say that ill probably be a frequent in your asks specially to talk ab ilal. you're a wonderful writer! thank you so so much for sharing your talent with us! :)
ps. (1): a special thanks for using hongjoong's cruella hair in ilal. as a joong biased who was obssessed w cruella in teenage and loves his hair like that ive never been hapPIER
ps. (2): just saw this reel right b4 sending this ask and althought i imagine their clothing to not be so fancy during the trip (is is the correct word? struggles in non native english speaker) to taeyang, but this is chapter 11 yunho to me. i dont make the rules.
hi!! it's so nice to meet you too!
i'm so glad you enjoy ilal! it's been an absolute pleasure to write, and i enjoy nothing more than getting to share it with all of you! and wow, i'm so glad you gave ilal a chance! that really means a lot! i've always been more of a chapter person myself, but i completely understand why one-shots can be preferable because then you don't have to wait weeks/months to get more. i've wanted/thought about writing more one-shots myself, but sadly, i'm not very good with it. an idea gets into my head and then i write way too many words. which is also a problem because i usually struggle with finishing things. my drive is literally full of unfinished works. oops. but don't worry, i have never been more motivated to finish a fic before ilal. like, this one is going to be the one that i finally finish.
i'm so glad you love y/n's characteristics. i'm honestly really bad about using my own personalities and characteristics in characters i write because it's easier. and i think ilal y/n is probably the closest person i've written to myself. i didn't really mean for it to be that way, but oops. i'm glad though that you and others can relate to y/n though, and to know you're not the only one who struggles in areas like those. (like literally, i've been with my partner for almost three years now and i still struggle with being vulnerable around them.)
i don't usually write characters with siblings in my works, which i don't really know why because i also am lucky to have a very close relationship with my siblings, but it has been very fun to write!
i'm so glad you dropped by! i literally love chatting with all you lovely people, so always feel free to send an ask or a dm my way! i may be a bit slow to reply at times, but i will always try my best to reply!
(and cruella hongjoong is my favorite joong, so i couldn't not. and i won't lie, i have to restrain myself from using him for every one of my writings. oops.)
(ahh, this actually made me laugh. and, yes, while it would not technically be canon clothes wise, please feel free to imagine things however you want in your head. because, let's be honest, i think everyone wants this version of yunho.)
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ALSO UM ITS 2AM BABES !!! spend too much time posting on tumblr nd sending u asks tbh but also i like talking ot you what can i say !! so um this may rly rly b quite short bc of that but i do jsut really wanna say that !! i really do love you soso much love !! like you realyl are jsut such an amazing incredible person who brings me sm joy and light and happiness and such a wonderful kind caring friend to me and ik ur always here for me and that does just really make me feel soso loved and cared for and safe warm with you love and i hope you know you really are just soso wonderful love and bring me soso much joy and light and warmth and comfort just knowing you love and i hope you know that you really are just so so special and dear and important to me love and im always here for you whenever you need me dearest, you really do mean the world to me and i really do just love you so so very much dearest <3 i hope ur days been good and that u sleep well, ilusm !! 💗🌷🍊🍊🍰🥭🌺💕💞🌻💗✨✨✨
AYYY ITS AB TO BE 2AM FOR ME!!! lovee to see it and by that i mean we need more sleeep JABJBJ anywayyy i do want to say also that i really love you so much toooo and you are also suchhhhh an incredible caring friend who brings smm happiness to my life as well and i am just sososoo glad i can be that for you as well and do those things for you and !!! you mean the world to me toooo and i love u smmmmmm2 ilyyy !! gnightt<33333<333<33<3
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hii!! im back again😭 i finally read chapter 6 and wow
im so ??? HAPPY? EXCITED?? idk but the point is that i am feeling positive feelings that make my heart feel warm.
i know ive said this like 3 times already but-
yongbok😭😭😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞
i dont even have words for how much i love y/n and yongbok. it makes me so happy that y/n is always willing to go to any length for lix! my heart honestly hurts (in the best way‼️)
hana is a very strange character. i get that she wants to force herself to get over her ex but also,,,,, comparing a guy who looks after you, cares ab you, is with you in almost every waking moment to someone who literally fked u on a shop counter is so????😭😭 i think that deep down she knows that she shouldn’t b with hyunjin right now. but also i kinda understand bc if a man as good looking and kind and perfect as hyun came into my life rn i would never let him go. i don’t think that hana is a great best friend but im just really hoping this is character development 😭😭😭😭😭😭. no im kidding, i really love the dynamic that you have going on so far.
omg the “pain in the ass” part really hurt my soul. like i felt tears coming🥲 and the fact that hana needed min and hyun to talk to her ab it before she apologised and realised what she said is so sad. i feel so bad for y/n. she feels like such a burden in her group which i totally get. but i admire the dedication she puts into making lix’s bday the best she can, no matter what.
hyunjin🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀
like???????
HE WAS NOT JUST GRIPPING MY WAIST AND STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME WHILST SHIRTLESS??????? AND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE???????
im not complaining tho🥰
y/n:( i feel so BAD FOR HER!!! she outs so much effort into everything:( hana even asked her to be her wingwoman and despite her feelings, y/n still tries to bring up hana in every conversation.
in all seriousness, i find it so amazing that you write the characters so perfectly. i (and i think everyone else who has even glanced at your work) can tell how much effort and work and time you put into your stories. you really should be proud of it because omg!!!!!!! i love every single personality you have created in your stories .
can not freaking wait for the next part!!!
thank you for writing<3
- mac😽
hi cutie ! i am very glad you feel positive feelings after chap 6 !! 😭😭🙁 i love yn and yongbok more than anything too 😤😤 if you love them, you will loveeee part 7, perhaps at the expense of hyun and yn 🫠
you’re right. hana is strange to compare san and hyun when she’s known them in completely different contexts but they do end up solving the same “purpose” in her life, which is distract her from her breakup sooo…🙁
thank you so much for this beautiful review and for your kind words 😭😭 hyunjin really does have the guts to do that ! love you for loving my characters !!
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update for the archival reasons of this blog, part 2
im sure youre shocked to know that tumblr has a character limit. I myself didnt find this out until part of me started running her mouth at 2 am before subsequently deciding i had lost my collective mind and decided to do the Correct Thing and Go To Bed.
Not like i actually found that out then and there, mind you, i exist to write code and read maps and be Autistic about Squids and Hamsters, I had to find out when that other part finally decided to let the rest of my brain know on her own free will. again. memory loss is one of the two cleanly defining features of DID.
That brings up two things though, my nearly next to impossible dual diagnosis (that i was ALSO not aware of) and my gender.
Autism and trauma disorders mimic eachother and effect eachother in similar ways. except no they do not, that's just a reflection on the societal inability to NOT raise a traumatized autistic person. which is ass. Unfortunately when half of your trauma around schooling stems upon you being made a public spectacle/example of to be laughed at and physically beaten in that same public setting for your social ineptitude, extreme sensory problems, and incessant need to talk at length about nothing but a nigh encyclopedic knowledge of exactly two things: pre-2005 Japanese video games for Children, and Trains... yeah. that was... I'm a little surprised no one clocked the Autism earlier, frankly.
and then theres my gender, which is quite simple: My pronouns are I/Me/Myself. Everything else is a You Problem. Gender is silly and I am a silly goose. Animal Control will not catch me and even if they do, I'm still their problem without a single solution. Go ahead! put me in the woods! The fish will come back pregnant!! Speakin of, I finally have approximate Dates for both removing my ability to get pregnant AND getting my tits off (both by the end of this year :D!) "doesnt that make you a trans guy?" some nurses ask- again. see the beginning of this paragraph. I am who you say I am, to quote Jesus the Christ. my gender is yes, no, sometimes, and forget about it. I dont need one. None of my parts Identify much differently to that (one says "it changes to the tune of the bit, I identify as whatever is funniest for the moment," one says "I'm a man in the dyke way and a woman in the faggot way", and the last says "I'm six and like the toys for boys. I'll get back to you when I care enough to have a real answer." )
Oh also I've learned how RSS and all sorts of code works. Which is neat! and Fun! and i've gotten super into turning off my computer!!!! and going outside!! and playing! and enjoying the sunlight! and people!! the world is great and beautiful and im so so so glad im in it!!! I'm so glad squids are real!!!!!! "Squids" being community and love and art and color and city metros and world cultures and and and!!!!!!!! I have so much love in my heart. I'm not afraid to tell anyone how much I love them anymore. I have found True Peace.
Also the desperate need for a functional wheelchair to combat the actual things severely medically wrong with me and to go back to work because I need to actually submit my production order for those shirts before AB in late march.
Thank you all for reading. I'm glad to be where I am and for anyone who feels lost and stranded and is finding even a little comfort in the posts i made in college, I love you, I see you, It will get better- but you need to try.
This blog will remain up and in-tact for archival purposes only <3
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smh do not feel guilty about it! unorthodox or not its a fun ship and idk! i like it ! and you like it! so thats good enough, u dont have to justify it to anyone. i personally think of it as same universe bc i just loooove time travel shenanigans. actually, i like thinking of both !! lol, like the fic i have in my head is uh basically no raccoon city incident re2 leon and ofc canon re6 leon. id talk about it but id simply explode thinking about them. i love them so much.
also do NOT get me wrong while i do prefer re2 and re6 leon, i would snatch up ANY leon before he could even BREATHE. and when i say *any* leon i mean *any. leon.* i am not physically capable of being normal about him. i am a very loud and proud leon lover. :3
hehe i wont lie i do have some thoughts ab di leon and re6 or vendetta leon, honestly any leon but its stronger for those 2 LOL. di leon...<3
anyways im rambling! im glad it made you happy to get an ask! i LOVE talking to ppl ab leon and also just. idk if i see stuff i like i want to say it!!! i KNOW you do stuff for YOU and bc YOU enjoy it but i also know how good it feels to hear that other people also enjoy it! i love being loud and proud ab stuff i like and i want others to be loud abt it w me 🐕
Ooowee thank you!!! Also I see what you mean about the same universe thing ands that's perfectly fine with me! Everyone has what they like-- I kinda like your fic idea too. Its neat!
Oh..yes! Me too! I'd snatch them up in a heartbeat and pet em (with their permission of course, otherwise i'd make some hot coco for each one!). He's been my groove for awhile now and I love him so much. Leon lovers unite!
DI leon really is something lol He's just... ugh!!! I can't even describe him. Cool as hell though? I love him! RE6 and DI always got my heart. Vendetta gives me cat vibes fr.
Hey! No need to feel bad about rambling! I love listening and rambling always makes me happy cause its always interesting to me. I ramble or make 0 sense lol
My thought process for what I make is "If there's nothing for it, then make it yourself!" and I apply it to everything hehe. I even have my own Leon bot to at least do stories with (fight scenes, what ifs, and just RE universe shenanigans with other characters). Also plan on making my own figures soon. Theres a Masterpiece RE6 Leon I'd love to buy but its well over 400 USD-- ouch lol. So I'll make one myself too.I enjoy what I make because it makes me alll happy inside and tickles my critter brain lol and thank you so much!!! Loud and proud all the way ftw!
(Ah I'm unfamiliar with Tumblr culture since I haven't been on here in over 5 years. Its so different compared to twitter where im usually gnawing at my cage hehe. Tumblr gets what i don't post for my friends to see.)
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i know it's been years since the bnha drama you had to go through in 2020, but i wanted to say that i've thought about really it for years and years and i was on your side for when it happened. i still remain on your side, and i hope you were given proper apologies from yk who and their defenders. you most likely never want to think about it again, but i hope you know that what you did mattered. i think about it really from time to time remembering how the internet was so eager to go against a bunch of teens and how cruel it was really at the time. i know you endured a lot of hate for it, and i hope you're doing better now!
let's be real here, aint nun of them ever apologized to me and never will. it's pretty evident how past the few troll hate asks i got recently, everything is 100% lbh and them and it's not made up cuz apparently mfs think i send hate to myself LOL.
atp idc cuz everyone else ive ever had a problem with that werent part of their circle or used to be, ive actually amended and made up with. but thank you for this, it def doesnt effect me like it did back in the day (idky i aged myself like that). i definitely am better now! mentally, emotionally (i think; im stunted there if we're being quite honest) and overall i love life. i love everything in it like im just chilling... if anything that whole thing made me realize that i was limiting myself being on here 24/7 and straining myself worrying ab shit that didnt need to be worried ab.
so even if i took the L and there are so many fake fuckass niggas on this site (or left) who said they know ab whats happened but still fuck with nonces they can go die like the rest of them. 🖕🏽 it's truly disappointing how cowardly most are to refuse the idea of not supporting someone simply bc they wanna read degenerate bakugo fanfic. i would be lying if i wasnt honest on how hurt i really was when ppl also lied on my name saying i did shit i never did or the fact that no shade no tea, anonie, getting asks like this and then crickets publicly. and to that if there are more recent victims or ppl effected by her and her friends actions you deserve it!!!! lol.
im apathetically bitter but im just glad i can finally talk my shit on my blog LOL. i used to be so scared of talking ab what was really going on, walking on eggshells bc i still wanted to be seen as just funny little Sav who makes borderline crack fics. i am not one to sub a bitch, imma call you out your name but yk who tf im talking ab!! it feels good to be free to speak ab what i want, not feeling pressured to conform to ideologies i dont agree with (proship, dark content, politics etc etc). so tbh im very happy with the outcome. bc at the end of the day i know i spoke nothing but the truth and even with no support i can sleep at night knowing i got no skeletons in my closet. i own to the things i do, i will admit when im wrong and i love to grow as a person. i speak my truth and dont need everyone to agree with it or debate me. 🤷🏽♀️
also yall choose your friends wisely. use your intuition. dont ignore that gut feeling and dont fw ppl yk do shitty things. you will get caught up in it, and thats past tumblr cesspool drama advice. it's very tempting to be that bad person. it's tempting to do whatever you want but everything has a consequence.. everything you put out, you receive back.
n ik im not mf saint either bitch ☠️ cuz i made a choice at 14 y.o joining this site, i was either gonna be some wholesome pushover or a bitch. i took the latter, did the time and now ive learned that i dont need to be rude or a bully in order to be assertive. that having respect for yourselves and others doesnt mean to be unnecessarily mean to mfs who DONT deserve it. everything just feels like a life lesson tbvh. im gonna keep arguing with niggas online cuz i eat everyone up even when im outnumbered. 🥴 but to everyone who genuinely deserves an apology from me has received it and likewise. and that's all i can ask for.
tldr; ive learned a lot, that time was very sucky but we up. 🤪🤳🏽
p.s shoutout to ms gworl @/mci bc she kept me in check and helped me a lot. no bum on this site will ever compare to her at all. oh yeah and i will talk ab the callout any chance i get so neva tell me to let it go!! <3
#ofc i got my other moots like cyn and peach#it was an adjustment to stay to myself but im having much more fun now so 🤷🏽♀️#so much better not having to perform#meet ppl interaction quotas etc#ive made peace truly#cuz soon enough i realized most ppl i argue w/online are just yt musty lewsers saur#this is my safe haven if you will; a spam page#i should post soon lol#sav's anons#d dabbles
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ahhhgghhhh okay im sorry for taking so long so late to reply to ur asks from yesterday dear😭😭!!!! and that i still havrnt replied to one i think ahhhh i will rlly rlly try to in what time i have tmrw!! but i started like accidentally falling asleep so i wanna send this before i for real fall asleep shzbxjxnzj. so yah uhmmm first of all i love love love you soo much like omg talking ab midnights has been sooo fucking fun like it rlly is so lovely and yah in general talking to you and hanging out with you is really really loveky beloved and just so fun and wonderful and you truly brigthen my day every day!! and yah you are jsut suchhhh an understandinf and good and consdierate friend and SUCH a good person and u r always so here for me ik and i appreciate u and ur support smmmm and i also wanna supoort u in all ways i can and i hope u know i am always here like that!! and that i truly love you smmm (hugs u gn if u wanna:;;;;💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕)
its okay love i understnad the being busy w collage stuff dearest !!! and ya the tiredness the falling asleep is v understandable and i hope u were able to get some good rest my dearest !!! and ough omg youre soso sweet belvoed :'> and ya freaking out abt midnights together has been so so fucking fun just like it always is for us to talk together and spend time together and getting to know you and have you as a friend like you really are such a wonderful incredible presence in my life and bring me so so much joy and happiness and light every single day and are such such a wonderful friend to me and so thoughtful and understanding and considerate of me and make me feel soso loved and cared for and safe with you and ik that youre here for me through everything and that really does mean soso much to me my dearest it really realy does and i hope you know that im soso glad and gratful that i can be the same to you in any way i can because you really do deserve it soso much i think and i really do just want to becuase you really do mean everytihng to me and are such a special aprt of my life and such an incredible wonderful amazing person both in my life and just in general and i really do love you so so much my belvoed i really really do :'> *hugs you backkk soso much soso much if u wish* 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
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Discuss!
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out
Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation
a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!
***
Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks.
Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything.
Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives.
Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter.
You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night.
“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice.
Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space.
“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself.
“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid.
“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly.
The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation.
“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side.
He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks.
“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes.
“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows.
“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes.
You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things.
That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen.
You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile.
Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?”
Got him.
“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks.
As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder.
For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions.
The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two.
You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings.
“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out.
As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt.
You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out.
Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?”
“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles.
The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.
You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles.
“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you.
“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?”
“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod.
As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-
“Y/n?”
The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?”
His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips.
“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks.
“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch.
You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night.
As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain.
You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”
Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out.
“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted.
“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours.
“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.”
His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours.
“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.”
The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred.
You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump.
“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”
“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears.
Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum.
“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines.
“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs.
“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length.
“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point.
The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further.
You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure.
You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”
He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again.
For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget.
Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes.
You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off.
“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”
“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out.
“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,” you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all.
Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came.
“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”
His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever.
You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go.
The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon.
Then a sad look came across his face.
“Spencer what’s wrong?”
“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy.
“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.
He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs.
“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.”
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#Spencer Reid fic#mgg fanfiction#mgg smut#mgg x reader#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#criminal minds smut#sub!spencer#chellewrites
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You Belong Pt. 2
Loki x reader
Word count: 2098
Warnings: swearing, SMUT, unprotected sex (YOU KNOW BETTER)
A/N: I don’t know how many of you actually wanted a sequel, but one person did so I’m making it. I think some of you are realizing what kind of an author I am. I’ll pretty much do anything. This is my first time writing smut so please go easy on me 🥺 Go read part 1 if you haven’t already!
It’s been two days since you went on a date with Loki. He took you out to a nice dinner then a walk before taking you back to your apartment. It was a really nice night and had Loki come in with you, you think it would be even better, but alas he didn’t. He was a gentleman and left as soon as you got in. Sitting at your desk like usual, Loki walks in with a cup of coffee and sets it down by you with a smile.
“Good morning, darling.”
“Hi, Loki.”
Your coworkers gather in a corner and start whispering about you again, knowing they probably heard about your date with the god.
“I really enjoyed our date the other day and was wondering if you wanted to do it again sometime?”
“Yeah,, I uh… I would love that.”
Loki’s smile is so wide, it goes all across his face.
“Wonderful. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to apologize again about Rogers.”
“Loki, it isn’t your fault. He was right in a way-”
“No, remember what we talked about? You belong.”
“I’m not a hero. I’m just a receptionist.”
Loki rolls his eyes and sighs.
“You’re impossible. I have to go, but I’ll stop by later.”
He makes his way towards the elevator and to the Avenger’s floors. The whole team is sitting around the living are and laughing, having a good time. Loki walks up to them and grabs Steve by the collar and drags him down the hall. The team gets up to him but Loki quickly disappears.
“We need to talk about Y/N.” Loki says, throwing Steve on the floor of the training room.
“What about it? I already said what-”
“Exactly, you have said what you needed to and it’s stupid. If you ever yell or make her cry every again, I swear to the nine realms, I will end you.”
Steve stands there stunned as Loki disappears again, right in front of you. He scares you so bad that you fall out of your seat on the floor in which he helps you to get up from.
“Loki, what the-”
“So sorry, darling,” he laughs, “I talked to Steve and he won’t give you trouble, now for that second date.”
“It’s been five minutes how did you-”
“Doesn’t matter. Tonight at six? I’ll pick you up from your place this time?”
“I- uh yeah, I mean I guess.”
“Perfect.”
And once again, time passes so quick you don’t even notice until the knocking on the door wakes you up. You check the clock and notice the time, realizing it’s Loki, and cursing yourself under your breath. Loki knocks on your door again and the sound starts to give you anxiety. You gather yourself and answer the door to see Loki in a full black suit and slicked hair. He hides a boquet of flowers behind himself as he takes you in… dressed in sweats.
“I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.”
Loki laughs and steps inside the apartment.
“It’s okay, darling. We can stay in if you want.”
“Are you sure because based on your appearance, it looks like you had something planned.”
“Darling, any time spent with you makes me happy. Do not fret. I did get these for you on the way here.”
He hands you the bouquet of white lilies.
“I love them, thank you.”
“They reminded me of you. Cute, small, pretty.”
You can feel the heat in your cheeks and you’re aware that he can probably see your blush.
“What do you want to eat? I can cook something.”
“No please don’t. Let me order something at least, to make up for the dinner.”
He gives you a kind smile before the two of you relax on the couch together and order food. You settle on watching some movies together as you down a whole lot of Chinese food.
“This is amazing,” Loki chuckles, “This is still from Midgard?”
“Yes, it is,” you laugh, “It’s from China, it’s a different country.”
“Like New York?”
“No, no. New York is a state inside of America, which is a country.”
“I understand. Well, they make great food.”
“You and a million midgardians agree.”
He smiles and sets his food down, putting his arm around your waist on the couch. You snuggle into him, leaning your head into the crook of his neck. It’s hard to focus on the movie when Loki is so close to you and smells so good. You can feel your hands getting sweaty and your body getting hot. Loki’s eyes don’t even leave the T.V, oblivious to how he’s affecting you.
“Are you okay?” He looks down at you to see you squirming a little, trying to get more comfortable.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say out of breath.
He gives you a side eye with furrowed eyebrows, not believing you, but returning his attention to the TV. You can feel your heart racing and pounding inside of you, not allowing you to relax. Loki’s fingers play with the hem of your sweatpants which doesn’t help the butterflied in your stomach. You didn’t feel like this last night when you had dinner, thinking that the table being between you two helped with keeping the feeling at bay. With him this close to you now, you can’t calm down.
“Seriously, darling. You look flushed.”
Loki has adjusted himself to look at you a little better. There’s concern on his face.
“I’m just a bit warm.”
“Oh? We can turn the AC up for you.”
“No, it’s fine, really.”
You’re too nervous to say anything about your butterflies. Loki keeps staring at you which makes you even more uncomfortable. As you turn to look at him again, you see a small smirk on his face.
“Yes?” You ask.
“I don’t know why, but seeing you this flustered is cute.”
Loki lifts your chin and locks lips with you. His lips are so soft and tender as he kisses you. You’re stunned at first but you slowly lean into the kiss, setting your hand on his chest as he places his on your jaw, holding your head close to him. It must be five minutes before you stop, taking a moment to take a breath. You two look in each other's eyes before Loki grabs your waist and pulls you into his lap.
His hands wander as you begin to make out again. You run your hands through his hair and he holds you tight, moving your waist to rub against his crotch. His grip on your ass sends shivers down your spine, making you squirm on Loki more. Loki pulls back to moan before picking you up.
Loki lays you down on the couch and hovers over you, still kissing you deeply. He keeps one hand by your head as his other wanders your body. Your body leans into his hand as he squeezes your breast. His touch is magnetic, you don’t want it to leave you. Then he wanders lower, his touch barely laying on your clit. You whine, wanting him to touch you but he looks at you with a devilish smirk.
“Use your words, baby girl. What do you want?”
“T-touch me, Loki.”
“Good enough for now, but so you know, it’s my King now.”
“Yes, my King.”
Loki rubs your clit through your pants and watches as your face curls. He looks at you in pride, loving the way he can make you melt. Kissing the side of your neck, he leaves hickeys all the way down before putting his hand down your pants, covering your bare folds. You whimper, making Loki chuckle.
“My sweet girl. So needy.
Loki starts to take off his suit, removing his hand from you and making you whine. You try to take off your shirt as he does but have trouble, so Loki assists you. He admires your body as he removes the piece of fabric, his mouth watering every second.
“Such a beautiful creature.”
Loki latches his mouth on your nipple, lightly biting and sucking as he works on your pants. You let out a moan as he bites you, the feeling being unremarkable. Then a sudden tingle sparks on your mound. It’s warm and soft on you, massaging your clit slowly. You look at Loki to see him smirking, realizing it’s his magic.
He lets go off your breast and yanks your sweatpants down to your ankles, leaving his head shadowing over your folds. He licks a stripe over you, making you drop your head back in pleasure, moaning as he keeps going. You grab his raven locks as he clings onto your clit sucking and nibbling. He smiles against you at the sound of you moaning his name over and over again.
Loki adds a finger into you without stopping his magic. You get overwhelmed and start sweating from the pressure building inside of you. He goes faster without giving you any kind of break, urging you into an orgasm. The feeling in your stomach tightens until you hit your limit, letting go and cuming on his mouth.
“Such a dirty girl,” he coos, moving back over you, “You act all shy, but really you’re just a little whore.”
“Im.. your whore, my King.”
“Mhmm, I like the sound of that.”
Loki dips his head to kiss you again, nipping on your bottom lip, as he takes off his pants. You admire his body as he leans up. He’s so nicely toned, his abs on full display. The veins in his arms are popping out as he grips your hips, pulling you into him more. Your eyes wander down to his hands taking his large cock out of his underwear. His large member springs out, impressing you with the size. Loki chuckles at your face filled with worry.
“Don’t worry, darling. It won’t hurt.”
He leans down to kiss you again, holding your body to his as he guides his member into you. Going slowly, you feel yourself stretch around him as he moves. You gasp at the pressure filling you deeply. You sink your nails into his bare back, encouraging him to go faster.
Loki speeds up with thrusting into you. Every inch of him is heaven. Even the way he breathes and grunts into your ear sounds like angels singing. He whispers dirty comments are he thrusts hard, building more pressure inside of you.
“Come on, my dirty girl. You take my cock so well.”
You feel yourself get more wet with each word, dripping as he slides in and out of you. The coil in your stomach begins to be too much.
“You’re so close, baby. I want you to cum all over my godly cock.”
His words send you over the edge as you let go around him. You scratch down his back, leaving marks and small trails down his skin. He groans at the feeling, going faster. There’s no relief as you let go because you feel the tightness in your stomach return immediately. Loki doesn’t slow down but in fact flips you over and grabs your wrists, pining them together.
He slides in to you and pulls your wrists back. Loki pounds into you relentlessly, one hand holding you together and one pulling your waist back every time he slams back into you. You scream at the pressure and pain as he thrusts mercilessly and slaps your ass. Loki smiles at the sound and feels you losing your control over him, loving every sound out of your mouth.
“One more, little girl. Give me one more.”
You feel Loki’s thrusts becoming more sloppy, signaling his closeness. He becomes ruthless, exchanging his speed for roughness, going hard and slow. He reaches around your waist and rubs your clit, forcing you to drop on your stomach, your head smashed into the couch cushions. It becomes unbearable as you cum around him for the third time, your body covered in sweat and you out of breath. At the feeling of you clenching around him, Loki lets go and cums inside you, thrusting one last hard time. His grip on your waist leaves bruises.
Pulling out, Loki leans back to catch his breath, admiring you lying in a mess on the couch in front of him. You’re panting heavily with your eyes clenched shut. He smiles at his work. You turn around onto your back, looking up at the flushed god. He leans down to kiss you gently, smiling against your lips.
“I’m glad you slept in,” he chuckles.
#loki#loki laufeyson#loki x reader#loki x reader smut#loki smut#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki fan fiction#loki fluff#marvel x reader#marvel x reader smut#lovingallforloki
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confessions; but not remembering it
ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader
genre: fluff
masterlist
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo
» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you
» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!
» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"
» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"
» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"
» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.
» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"
» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.
» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.
» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.
» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"
» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.
» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.
» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.
» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."
» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.
» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.
» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled
» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.
» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.
» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes
» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.
» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.
» "huh? but practice is-"
» "please l/n san. for me"
» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.
» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step
» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"
» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.
» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.
» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"
» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.
» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"
» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.
» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.
» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.
» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.
» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"
» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say
» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"
» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.
» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.
» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"
» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"
» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.
» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.
» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"
» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line
» "i like you a lot too l/n san"
» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT
» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something
» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.
» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK
» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"
» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"
» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"
» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.
» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.
» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.
» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point
» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that
» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.
» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted
» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.
» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"
» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.
» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.
» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"
» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?
» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.
» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.
» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.
» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.
» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!
» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.
» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"
» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."
» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.
» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.
» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.
» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.
» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.
» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.
» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.
» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"
» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.
» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"
» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.
» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
thank you for your order! enjoy~!
#haikyuu x reader#hq fluff#haikyuu fluff#yinny!drabbles#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa fluff#kita shinsuke#kita x reader#kita fluff
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um okat its 1 3m am wtf wtf wtf what the actuyal actual fuck ummm !! rly rly shld have been asleep earleir but like stuff happened in my brain so tht got in the way of tht nd tbh they still are but i rly lry do need to go to sleep so i will nd im so sorry if this is rlyrly short due to tht but b4 i do i rly do j wanna say tht !! i love you so so much mx i rly rly do like !! it rly rly was so so wonderful for us to vc 2gether today like !! it was so so lovlelie i think for us 2 call nd to like talk together nd hear ur voice nd hear ur tohughts on stuff nd j to spend time with oyu mx it rluy rly is j like it always is to spend time with you mx bc well you are rly rly so so os lovley id say u rly lry are belvoed !!! ur rly lry do help make my life sm better and happier nd warmer mx u rly rly do every day and ur just such an incredil wonderful sweet kind caring thoughfull consideranrte freind and amazing fun funny talented charming lovley loveable person my belovedest nd j make my life sm better and warmern and happier nd im soso glad nt greatfull to have you in my life mx nd i hope you know tht im always here for you and love you soso much i rly rly do my bleovedest !! :'> i hope ur days been good nd tht you sleep well mx, i lvoe you so so much 💕💕💕🦋🐞💞🍓🌻🦔💞🌼💕✨✨✨✨✨
pls dw at all in the slightest ab ask shortness or anything ever and esp not when its late and ur brain is doing stuff ykw !! and yeah i agree that vcing was !!! sosooo much fun!! as it always is and it is always j so lovely to chat w u yah:33!!! and i am soo soo beyond happy and overjoyed that i can make ur life better like that and u consider me that way :’>>> bcuz u rllg do deserve it and !!! j it rlly does make me so glad!!! and i asbolutely know and feel that ur here for me and im sooo grateful for that and j grateful to know u peaches:333!!! gnight i love u smmm 💕💕❤️❤️💕💕💕💕❤️💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️❤️💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻‼️‼️‼️
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