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frankiistein · 7 months

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come on look at this drawing. this is exactly what being in aba feels like. anyway...

bien and sar as a portrayal of a "troubled teen" with autism/adhd/aspd and an aba therapist: a breadavota analysis

finally blogging about the ending of intermission 1 of @breadavota

gui on the bbs has already noticed most of the stuff from the new update so tbh not much else left to say. thank u once again for the loyal breadposting

not related but i just noticed the bbs has the homestuck colors naur

instead of analyzing every part of the new update im just going to focus on the depiction of sar as being a (pseudo) aba therapist, along with my "bien is so autismcoded" hc

bien as an autistic character (+ adhd and conduct disorder/oppositional defiant disorder/aspd)

first of all altho afaik none of the characters are written intentionally to be autistic and adhd but both sc and bien have traits of it, altho i will just focus on bien here who i feel is autistic, adhd and has cd/odd (which could be aspd now bcuz hes already an adult). i think the aspd hc has more credence bcuz the author has aspd

seen as "stupid" by others, especially because he has issues with working memory and attention, altho i dont think hes particularly "stupid" but more that he has trouble w/ abstract thinking and memories, he takes things literally (like when he messes w/ sars pens after being told not to touch only his books)

inexpressive facial expressions, he usually has a neutral face no matter the situation

seems to get bored easily and needs to do extreme things to stimulate himself, particularly his violent tendencies towards animals

special interests/hyperfixations. he doesnt show an interest in anything except things related to violence (murder, weapons, wars) or sc, and to a lesser extent playing the piano

on top of that some level of social inappropriate behavior, altho its harder to say w/ so few interactions between him and other characters. the one chapter where he talks to the other soldiers he wasnt very friendly towards them, and based on how he talks to ava (hard to tell if he talks like this to everyone tho) he has the tendency to bring up his relationship to sc even in situations where its not appropriate or relevant

"awkwardness" aside he has a disregard for other ppl as a whole and seems unable to emphatize with hurting others

struggles with "basic" tasks and is anxious abt leaving sc and having to live on his own

wants to have "explanations" for everything he does before doing it, seen in how he is frustrated with avas vagueness

some sensory sensitivies since he looks to be bothered by "loud noises", altho its a bit vague bcuz the demons seem to have a synthesia like (?) way of perceiving the world. bon at least has been implied to lash out from these sensitivities which 2 me is similar to meltdowns, and sar shows concern that the brightness outside might bother bien

anyway moving on to sar, this is probably noticed by some ppl from the older updates already but the premack principle (explaining more later) is what made it noticed for me, that sar acts similar to an aba therapist, or at least uses some of the same principles in aba to manipulate bien

focus on eye contact

first of all i agree w/ gui the decision to write only in sars pov and to never directly show what biens dialogue at all is great! i think it highlights that feeling of bien not being allowed his autonomy and makes it feel rly more like some therapy session where ur not allowed to make ur own decisions, it also forces us to rely on sars narration of events even tho hes not a trustworthy person

bcuz we cant see bien we also dont know if anything in the place is distracting or bothering him. the last updates established he finds the way the house "sounds" to be rly disturbing (again poiting to sensory sensitivity), and the way the story focuses not on why he might not be looking at sar and instead only looks at his "problem behavior" reminds me of my own experiences with aba before

sar commands eye contact from bien with the simple repetition of the phrase "look at me". this very first one stands out because of how its inserted right in the middle of his dialogue, showing sars intention to make sure bien "focuses" on what hes currently saying, like he needs bien to be looking at him to "prove" he is listening. reading it in real time the first "look at me" is almost unnoticable until the next ones

i noticed the first one is also early on in the update, and he doesnt say it again until later on where all the "look at mes" are closer together. this happens when bien reads the research paper with the "blocks". i think it implies bien is more uncomfortable or stressed out from this activity and being overwhelmed by it, he looks away more frequently, its a subtle detail that i cant help but noticed!

premack principle/first, then

this is what stood out to me the most, sar pretends to "offer" autonomy to bien sometimes by letting him decide some minor things like what to eat for the break, or to let him make minor adjustments to the overall "daily schedule" but i noticed the entire "lesson" is decided by sar, who makes bien do a "harder" task first before moving on to something bien might want to do (eat cake/listen to the piano) or to "something easier"

some standing out parts:

reading this, especially "of course, i believe you can do it" its clear that bien doesnt necessarily want to move to the "easier" tasks and he wants to keep trying the current task even if hes not doing "well". the desire to move to "something easier" is always something sar decides because of his estimation of biens incompetence, and not out of biens own unwillingness to keep trying.

speaking of the schedule, its interesting, sar doesnt simply say he will make time in biens daily schedule to let him play the piano, he says bien will be allowed to have piano lessons, meaning hes still planning to use even biens hobbies/interests as a opportunity to "educate" him or as "reinforcerment" for him to do "good" behaviors first. i can imagine in the future biens desire to play the piano is going to be used against him, so that hes only allowed to do it if he "studies" first

reinforcements and "safe foods"

in the premack principle/"token economy" a reward is used to motivate the "good behavior" and here we see sar using food as that reinforcement. also sar doesnt punish bien here (also hello bien and his super literal thinking, autistic king), he tells bien to keep reading while sar cleans up.

the idea of not using punishment to be more "humane" is indeed a part of modern aba (traditional aba utilized punishments before this was dropped) but that doesnt account for all the other issues with aba, and again with the lack of autonomy he assumes bien "messing with the pens" is an "accident" (instead of explaining more literally not to touch the pens - its possible bien did it on purpose but is unaware why this is a "big deal" and wouldnt understand why sar is pointing it out to begin with), and he also doesnt ask bien if he wants to help clean up, or why he touched the pens to begin with.

for all we know bien got bored and started stimming with the pens (esp bcuz chewing or clicking pens is a common stim, we dont know what sar means with "messed with" here), sar could of at least asked first why bien did that anyway and like?? let him borrow a pen??? lmao???

anyway, back to the cake, in a previous updates its shown bien likes cake and i think this establishes cake as a sort of "safe food" for bien

this is something gui pointed out that i didnt notice at first, but notably bien asks for just a chocolate cake, and sar gives him a devils food cake that has vanilla in it. its something so "small" that bien will look bad if he complains abt it, but sar ignoring a very specific request bien had is a common autistic experience when it comes to safe foods and being told just to be "picky eater"

assumptions of biens incompetence/struggles

its no secret bien seems to struggle with "intelligent" matters but notably nobody ever stops to ask what he stuggles with, its always assumed for him. while ava is more obviously dismissive, sar also does the exact same thing and just sounds "nicer" about it

lack of proper explanations

despite being an expository character sar notably doesnt explain things in a way that would be useful to bien. my personal observation of bien and why i dont think hes "stupid" (not in the way the others sy he is) is that he asks a lot of logical questions! whenever ava tells him a story abt the history of angels/marginals, or asks him to do a new task, bien makes a lot of sensible observations ("if angels marginals and demons are the immortals and youre not an angel then what are you?")

the things he questions the most are information that comes out of nowhere (the recursive panopticon, sars first appearance, the margibird that came out of his radio etc), and other people treat him like an idiot for just not automatically knowing these "obvious" things that would make sense for him to know!

honestly viewing bien in this lens it suddenly makes alot more sense why the story jumps around so much and introduces "weird" lore seemingly at random, i think it rly helps simulate the feeling of confusion bien (and also bread) are meant to have

and of course where would we be w/o sars insistence that bien always say thank you even tho he never explains what bien should even be thanking him for.

general infantilization

as a whole sars tone is very infantilizing w/ how he always gives reassurances and goes "do you understand?" "___, okay?"

also he decides to give bien storybooks (probably for kids) and plushies to help with sleeping lmao??? we dont even know yet if hes going to have sleeping problems in anselir.

ofc nothing is inherently wrong with needing things considered "childish" with accomodations, lots of autistic people benefit from simpler talking to them or from sensory aids and similar in their daily life. but again its bad here because bien gives no indication these are the specific accomodations he even needs, sar simply assumes them for him. i think especially knowing bien seems insecure over his incompetence and his ability to "grow up" and be an independent adult living away from his father, it makes treating him like a dependent child even worse in that contexts.

disrespect for personal boundaries/touching

this is definitely the creepiest part and again the lack of biens side of things makes it vague what sar is doing

the way its immersed in the dialogue again is a good choice, just shows sar talking and acting "normally" even when things are decidedly not normal

the comment abt the hair makes it obvious that sar is touching bien, altho to what extent the "touching" goes is obviously deliberately vague. honestly it almost looks like sa :") regardless the pressure to do "affectionate" gestures is so relatable, especially as an autistic kid where adults always pressure you to hug them or show some other form of physical affection, and the way ppl touching u w/o permission is so common.

(i did ask the author abt this, to which they said its supposed to be vague so its not sexual but its also not not sexual. but that they personally wrote it to be them sitting next to each other with sar just condescendingly petting him on the head at some point like he did the last updates, and the "try not to squirm" comment was abt sitting properly, but that this was just how they imagined it and isnt "canon" bcuz its supposed to be open-ended)

bonus:

a subtle thing i almost dont noticed but the last "what blocks" is slightly bigger as if to show a slight raise in voice, rly feels like sitting in a suffocating room with this guy. ily sar but u suck

that is the end of my breadposting thank u and goodbye. ^_^

#breadavota #long post #tagging ooo #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #conduct disorder #oppositional defiant disorder #autism #adhd #comic review #aba #applied behavior analysis #applied behavioral analysis #aba therapy #aba tw

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silent-sanctum · 1 year

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i usually dont post unformatted stuff like this on the regular, but based on the amount of "jokes" ive seen in twitter and in tumblr about jotaro's character, i got some pet peeves that i may or may not be taking too seriously since he's my fave

but at the same time, a portion of the community is also taking these memes seriously as if it's the gospel and im kinda sick of it tbh so might as well treat this as a "in defense of" segment-

im sure there are others who feel the same way, but im letting everyone know that i feel the same sentiments:

Choosing Koichi over Jolyne

This is one that i don't feel that strongly about compared to the rest, but i feel like ive seen enough of these comments pop up in a youtube video and it makes me want to ask: "yeah? man literally let his emotions surface and sacrifices himself just to let his daughter know that he loves her over anything else".

And why? Because he stayed in Morioh and so happened to end up as a mentor-figure to Koichi (and, you know, to Josuke and Okuyasu too )? But why is it Koichi is singled out as "joot's preferred child" and not the rest? Cause he's child-sized?

Nothing much else to say but do stop treating jotaro like he fully abandoned his family just for shits and giggles.

Ocean Man x Dolphins

NOW. I have things to say.

What is up with these comments? Wherever I go (youtube, reddit, twitter etc.), i would see shit similar to this where he has a fetish for dolphins? Uhm, tf?

I get it if it's done for the memes, but istg, i see these in every reply in a thread as if araki wrote that in canon and people exaggerate this to an extent where "his lover is a sea mammal", "jolyne's mom is a dolphin", "he screws with dolphins", "make dolphin sounds to attract him" etc.

first off... how dumb and really stupid? Just because one of his P4 outfits had an abundance of dolphin pins doesnt mean he has an extreme liking to them. He wore that fit for one arc and thats pretty much it.

And to keep repeating that "i left my family to fuck with them" joke in every comment is just very subpar in terms of humor. It's not even funny to more it's used.

Need i remind these people that other than the clothes, he shows ABSOLUTELY no liking to dolphins at all in the show. If anything, he prefers starfishes over dolphins- he wrote a whole thesis about them and his office has an entire portion of a wall with framed starfishes.

don't know how the whole shtick blew up into this but omg it's annoying

I am Cold-Hearted Misogynist Giga Chad

Imma need everyone to stop mischaracterizing him as nothing but an "always angry" hates females person.

To address the misogynist topic, he talks regularly with the school nurse about cutting his pants, he emphasizes that he's deeply insulted when an innocent woman is hurt and that he considers that as true evil, protects and helps Anne when she's on screen, goes on a whole ass journey to help his mom recover, got married and had a kid with a woman, and offered a brief condolence to Tomoko about her dad's death.

also put in mind that he only barks up and become "misogynistic" (which not really) toward the females that obsess over him. I mean it's borderline sexual harassment if you ask me with the way the female students won't leave him alone and continue to be noisy around him or when adult women fawn over a MINOR.

AND EVEN THEN, when he goes to school with his fangirls flocking around him, he doesn't push them off. Why? Because it's unnecessary. He lets one of them cling to his arm and he just ignores them. After falling the stairs and they swarm around him, he doesn't become violent toward the girls and continues to ignore them. (sure he pushed those flight attendants away and punched his daughter to get out, but then again they were blocking his path and they needed to get out the room so he found it necessary to do those things)

again, him being annoyed with loud girls is reasonable but he isn't annoyed with every female in existence. That doesn't make him a misogynist.

Mr. Blank Slate

As an introvert myself, i find it sad and lowkey insulting that when it comes to watching introverted characters, the audience find them as boring and bears no personality. And i can tell...because the audience finds jotaro and giorno, the 2 introverted Jojos, as characters who are dull and bland.

maybe that's why i kin with joot, because we just quiet and vibing, and somehow people misinterpreting that vibes as "we hate everything don't talk to us"

We aren't openly dynamic and spontaneous but that doesnt mean we don't have personality.

But I think that's because viewers are well-acquainted with "out there" characters who show an explosive and emotive reaction to stuff like Joseph or Josuke. Much like a typical Shonen protag.

jotaro is a stoic, reserved man with a kickass no bullshit personality who wants things done as soon as possible, but holds a soft golden heart deep down who wants his friends and family safe and happy. He's a dork who makes corny one-liners, watches detective shows and documentaries, does party tricks for his friends, very keen on maintaining his sense of style (his uniform, 20k yen pants, expensive ass watch), literally smiles in ^_^ (and yes... he does emote in the anime yall are just too stuck up in the notion of him being angry 24/7 for yall to notice), etc.

idk much about giorno yet im sorry but all i know is that the kid's got a dream so I guess you could say he's ambitious and driven to secure his goal of being a gang-star mafia leader.

all i can say is that, the quiet ones have some quirks to them too and it's not always the loud ones.

Are these controversial? Maybe, but I've seen some express their frustrations so why not as well. Am i being a killjoy and taking this too seriously? Debatable, but there are some of you who also take your jokes seriously so don't come at me.

Will i have more peeves in the future? Likely. Let's wait and see :>

#jotaro kujo #jojos bizarre adventure #mijin thoughts

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themetallicnemesis · 1 year

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for the ask thing, whichever version of sun wukong you enjoy most

Hmmm to be completly honest im not sure which is the version i enjoy the most, like most wukongs to me are all different brands of a pretty cool guy so it's a bit hard to choose 🤔, so i think i'm just gonna answer for the Lego Wukong and the Jttw Wukong because those are the two i post about and think about the most:

Jttw Sun Wukong:

-How i feel about this character: He's a very complex character, and i like him a lot. Like, i'm bad at putting it exactly into words but even during moments of the story where he's doing wrong, he's still incredibly easy to sympathize with because you can kinda just see where he's coming from you know? He's a guy with a lot of layers that can't really be described as just a "Silly funny monkey" or "impulsive violent fiend" or anything of the sort, because the thing about trying to fit Swk into any kind of labels is that it's pretty much a fruitless task and i love that about him lol. I'm bad with words but yeah all that just makes him feel so real to me, and it's neat to see how different adaptations focus on certain aspects of his personality and each end up feeling a bit different from eachother as a result!

-All the people i ship romantically with this character: I love the Swk/Bull King/Princess Iron Fan dynamic and it's usually the ship i think about the most when it comes to him. And even though i usually see the pilgrims mostly in a platonic light, i also like Zhu Bajie/Swk cause they do have a hell of a fun dynamic. Guess Erlang can also fit in here.

-My non-romantic OTP for this character: Ao Lie. Because they kept calling him Little Dragon when he first appeared on the book i ended up with the image of him in my mind as a very young adult when compared to the other pilgrims. I can see him and Wukong having a very baby sibling and oldest sibling dynamic, and Wukong absolutly plays favorites when it comes to the pilgrims. The favorite is the horse

-My unpopular opnion about this character: Hmmm not really sure if i have one?

-One thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Kinda wish there were more moments where Tang Sanzang was like, you know more decent to him? Just wish they had more nice moments with eachother, because like if Sanzang was a person that actually bonded with him and had his own nice moments as well maybe it would make me more invested on the moments Wukong has to protect him. You know, making it feel as the story goes on that he's starting to protect him less because it's his duty and more because that's a person he genuily has come to care about.

Okay so now the lego man

Lego Wukong:

-How i feel about this character: I feel like both canon and fanon lately has been way too harsh to him and i just want him to have nice things. I deal with that by mostly ignoring the majority of the fandom and just enjoying it with my friends 👍. He's a funny lego man who's going through way more horrors than he should be going through at every single second of his existence. Im holding him gently in my hands and giving him a break

-All the people i ship romantically with this character: I dont think he's a very romance focused guy but i like Swk/Tang/Chef Zhu, they're cute together and Xiaotian can get as many dads as he wants. I also see him and Princess Iron Fan + DBK as exes

-My non-romantic OTP for this character: Xiaojiao. I like thinking that post season 3, after he makes an genuine effort to connect more with Xiaotian's friends, the two of them can actually be really great friends. Just getting to know and spend some time with his great niece :] i can see her introducing him to all sorts of different sleepover games. I also think that even though she and Ao Lie have their differences she still reminds him a lot of him

-My unpopular opnion about this character: Everyone including canon is being too harsh on him, like just have this man have nice things for once. Everyone complains about how he "never tells anyone anything" but how do you expect him to tell anything when hes constantly whisked away by the plot?? Guy only had a single episode on S4 before being whisked away, guy only had 10 fucking minutes of screentime do you really think 10 minutes is enough to tell everyone about all his enemies and traumas??? My second unpopular opnion is Sh#dowp#ach is the bane of my existence.

-One thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Let him actually be friends with the rest of the gang, let him have some screentime hanging out with them!! I think the show would have really benefited from going back to the monster of the week format from season 1 to that, like imagine just having some casual fun episodes but this time Wukong is shown on the noodle shop too!! Guy doesn't even need to be a main focus of the episode even just simple stuff like getting shown some baby monkey videos by Xiaojiao, or talking with Tang about how different parts of the journey actually were like, just you know stuff that makes him feel like part of the gang :].

(Another thing that i fucking wish is my self-fufilling au about Ao Lie actually being still alive all this time but had gotten himself stuck in the scroll, and now that he's out and both of them know the other is not fucking dead now, they can just reunite and be friends again. Does my au have a lot of plot holes? Yes it does, but just let the monkey have this one single win. He deserves to have one of his friends still alive fgdkbdnsbd)

#ask game #lille rambles #monkie kid spoilers #because yeah i did end up touching a bit on season 4 stuff #sun wukong

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shotforfavor · 1 year

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assigning a mychem song to each tma entity :o)

i dont have anything for dark and buried. umm. also i dont know how to put a cut in a post sorry

corruption- demolition lovers. the relationship isnt good for either of them, but hes still willing to die for her ("im trying to let you know just how much you mean to me, after all the things we put each other through") all of his expressions of love for her are violent in nature ("id end my days with you in a hail of bullets" "you're the only one, like a bed of roses theres a dozen reasons in this gun") their love is built on violence, its hurting both of them, yet he still wants to die with her to prove his love and devotion to her

desolation- early sunsets over monroeville. life is perfect, him and his lover are on a mall date, feels like a movie. ("then holding hands and life was perfect") then it all comes crumbling down out of nowhere when a zombie outbreak kinda thing happens and said lover is bit. ("not knowing you'd change from just one bite, i fought them all off just to hold you close") he can't exactly leave the mall he's hiding in, ("trapped in by all these mountains") and now he has to kill the one good thing he has left. then he's just defeated. he has nothing else worth living for. "but does anything matter if you're already dead?"

end- the end. obvz. "when i grow up i want to be nothing at all" most of the song to me is him expressing he wants to die/he knows hes going to, and he takes it very casually, buttttt the very end of the song... "save me, get me the hell out of here, save me, too young to die my dear, you cant take me" hes afraid of death when actually facing it

extinction- scarecrow. this ones about a nuclear bomb and trying to run from your death and look at things positively even though you know everyones going to die. but theres kind of an acceptance at the end- "love wont stop this bomb, run, run, bunny, run" after this point, the only lyrics are saying to run and hide. no more "i'll keep you safe tonight", no more romanticism that makes the destruction sound poetic and almost beautiful. just running and hiding and hoping someone makes it out alive

eye- teenagers. me personally i think this one fits. "because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you, son, so they can watch all the things you do" he feels like he's constantly being watched by the adults in his life, and they're just waiting for him to make one wrong move that they can use to justify calling him a bad person. he stands out, his classmates make fun of him and spread rumors about him. in the context of the song, the lyrics are all rebelling against all of this, but on their own, they sound very paranoid about what others think of them

flesh- cancer. i think this one works, the patient expresses a lot of hatred for what his body is becoming due to the disease in verse 2 especially. "turn away, cause im awful just to see" its got the aspects of insecurity and physical change out of ones control characteristic of the flesh.

hunt- vampires will never hurt you. this one isnt really a fear of being prey, but rather his fear of becoming the hunter. "can you stake my heart?" "i'll never let them hurt you, i promise" he feels that his vampirism is a different side of him completely, one thats out of his control. he'd rather be killed now than lose control and make his loved ones his prey.

lonely- ghost of you. he lost someone important, and he can't stop thinking about it and replaying their memories in his head because he doesn't want to forget them, but dwelling is only making him miss them more. ("if i died, we'd be together now, i can't always just forget her") he just replays her death over and over in his head, constantly reminded that he's now alone. ("i remember now, at the top of my lungs in my arms, she dies" "all the things that you never ever told me, all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me, never coming home, never coming home")

slaughter- mama. i mean its literally about a soldier who did awful things during a war and his mother can't help but hate him for it. "but there's shit that i've done with this fuck of a gun, you would cry out your eyes all along" he acknowledges that he fought his hardest because he thought he'd die at war ("so raise your glass high, for tomorrow we die") and his mother would be even more terrified of him than she already is if she knew the full extent of it. the song even ends with her sobbing

spiral- drowning lessons. after the death of his lover, he is haunted by a manifestation of his guilt that takes her form and makes him relive the day over and over again ("lets say goodbye a hundredth time and then tomorrow, we'll do it again"). he desperately wants it to go away but his own mind wont leave him be ("without a sound, i wish you away" "i adore every inch of sanity, all im asking for"). a lot of things in the song also sound like hes experiencing visions of her death, twisted by his brain- describing her as a "twisted shell" and saying "these hands, stained red from all the times that ive killed you"

stranger- blood. i dont know this one just really fits to me? "well they encourage your complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile" "so give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough" does this not give the image of like weirdly happy all the time doctors who keep doing procedures on you but you dont know like what exactly they're doing ever. also the very fun chipper tone and its contrast with the disturbing lyrics is very stranger core to me

vast- disenchanted. this one might be a stretch? after all his attempts to make life meaningful, he's left thoroughly disappointed. he realizes at the end of his life that everything has all been meaningless. he thinks life itself is overrated.

web- the jetset life is gonna kill you. this ones about drug addiction but the song portrays that as a woman who's controlling his life. "gaze into her killing jar, id sometimes stare for hours" she has him completely trapped and in the palm of her hand. "alright, she wants it all to come down this time"

very much willing to discuss any of these

#the magnus archives #tma #my chemical romance #mcr #mychem #eyetalk #crossover of the century #i just have to combine my hyperfixations or i die #and i love a bit of song lyric analysis

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

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honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Note

What is August going to do if his little decides to play with his forbidden knife collection? :3

Omg so this took a while and i'm sorry but im sooo happy with this! It got a little long so im hidig it under a cut but i hope you enjoy! @littlefreya @viking-raider

August swore vehemently looking around for the blades he'd sharpened specifically for his next assignment.

This needed to be silent and precise, he'd sharpened each blade twice! Not once but twice!

He wouldnt even attempt his 'arm hair' shave test this time knowing he may have gone over board with the sharpening.

But he couldnt help it, he found it therapeutic running his hands over the blades again and again, it was like medatation for him.

But they were no where to be seen! Hed placed them each delicatly in the rolled travelling leather holster, useing the small poppers to lock each dangerous blade in place and then hid it in the small safe in the wardrobe.

"Baby girl! LITTLE ONE HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE SAFE?!" He shouted down the stairs only not to get an answer, the radio on the kitchen drowning him out.

You were baking, well 'bakeing' he had bought a 'unicorn gingerbread box kit' for you both to make today.

It was a small treat he would spend the day with you doing anything your little heart desires befor setting off onto his week long mission.

You were currently rolling out the gingrbread and he had decided to sneak his weapons into his bag while you were preoccupied.

August never liked rubbing innhis occupation with you, never liked faceing the awkward questions, he wont lie to you but in being truthfull he can sometimes frighten you.

In the bedroom he was as ruthless and rough and demanding as he was at work.

But like this when you were little, you drew out a softer side. Well as soft as he was capable of, he was a stern man in everything he did, even in daddying you.

August huffed and zipped his case violently stressing out he needed to go down and pversee ou before you did something foolish, like tried to put the gingerbread in the oven.

Your panicked hyperventilating and bitten 9ff screams drew his attention immediatly!

He bolted down the stairs as fast as he could, so panicked by the cries and screams from the kitchen he raced through the housestomping and crashing with all the grace of a bull in a china shop.

Oh hell.

He froze, face paling mouth agape as he took in the scene.

Then he roared in a way you'd never heard.

You cowered holding your hand tightly as it bled profusely red life blood poured all over the white counter ruining the sheet pan dusted with what was once pure white flour.

The blood was also over the rolled out gingerbread, along with a very familiar knife.

You cried and staggered over you august holding your wound tightly tripping over your feet to him, wandering blindly unable to see much through your tears. Or hear past your frantic crying and yelps of "daddy!?"

August quickly decended on you grasping a teatowel from the laundry basket on the counter and tookover holding your offered wounded hand whislts snappjng at you in worry fueled anger.

"What the fuck are you dojng with that!? They are daddies special knives! You know not to touch thwm you silly little girl!"

"I'm s-so-rry! OUCH, NO-OO DAD-DY IT HURTS!" You cried out complaining as he dabbed the wound inspecting it.

It wasnt to deep just long, across the whole of your palm. He could tell your slipped and probably didnt evwn notice youd cut yourself untill it'd sliced fully across.

He'd sharpened them that much.

"You will be! By god little lady you will ne so very very sorry when im done woth you!"

"Come on sit down before you pass out and bleed all over the kitchen" he said tying a knot in two corners ot the teatowle making a triangle like a sling and looped it around your palm then fetched a wooden spoon slotting it in the large opening and began twisting it tight making a tourniquet.

You hissed as he pulled the clother thighter and tighter then slipped the wooden spoon into your fingers holding the teatowel still, before raising your hand high letting gravityhelp slow the bleeding.

"Now hold that there, dont you move, w need to stop the bleeding so i can mend it" he snipped grunting to himself. He wasnt worried as such, it looked worse than it was he had tended to worse on himself.

"Y-you can fix it da-ddy?" You sobbed tryi g to be brave but you were shaking like a leaf, youd never bled that much before.

"Yes daddy can fix it poppet, daddy can always fix it" he said quickly pulling out his... vast medic kit that was fully stocked to deal with everything from burns and cuts to bullet woulds and decapitated fingers. Because ou never know.

"A-are you mad da-addy?!" You whined eyes wide as he huffed and sighed dragging his hands through hos hair irritated

"Im not angry im very very disappointed. And you can bet your little ass is gonna be meeting that spoon shortly!" He said vehemently trying to calm himself and remind himself it wasnt too serious and he could deal with this cut.

You didnt even argue just looked down, dropping your watery eyes to the floor like a kicked puppy, and it wasnt even to soften him either.

"Why were you touching daddies private things?" He spoke tyring to take both his and your mind off your wound as he located everything he needed from the box.

"A'cos i wa-nted to see...they were shiney after you were polishin'em" you explained hicupping slowly weeping still as the pain and throbbing set in.

"I was sharpening them poppet, not polishing" he uttered quickly with a sigh trying to find a quaze big enough to wrap in a bandage.

"I just wanted to see... Never gon' touch" you sobbed bijng your lip eyes flickingnup the the now red teatowel, your figers were going a ittle numb from the tight tourniquet.

"And then?" He asked quirking a brow as you before waling to the kitchen sink washing and rinsing the washing up bowl thoroughly befpre filling with fresh warm water and a new clean cloth.

"Then the box said cut round the unicorns with a knife... And I already got it out to look at" you said shrugging a little as he moveed down your hand. Luckily the bleedig had stopped.

"I also says let and adult do it" your daddy chided as he slowly and gwntly unwrapped your hand making our fingers sting a little at the renewed bloodflow

"Im an-adult" you argued weakly then hissed as he begancleani g the wound dabbig it ever so lightly knowig he had to use clean water instead of antiseptic that could slow the healing of the delicate skin.

"Your a baby" he said with a roll of his eyes 'a spoilt baby' he added as an after thought to himself.

"...but im carful never cut myself with my big girl knives!" You agrued then gasped giving a small 'uh oh' you mouth had run away with you again.

"You mean the kitchen knives?" August asked quickly coming down on the new information like a... well hammer on a land mine.

"No... my saftey knives daddy" you uttered under your breath hissing as he moved on to the next stage of tending to your wound pressing the gauze to it.

"What do you mean your safety onives little one?" He said paying close attention to the bandages he was unravling over your hand trying to keep it firm but comfortable.

"My safety knives... i-in my purse?... Incase of baddies" you whispered slowly praying he wouldnt hear you. But his fingers paused for a second before quickly tying off the bandage in a knot and gave you a fierce look.

"You have knives in your?- wait hold-" august frowned and held a hand up singnalling you to stay then left the kitchen.

He returned moments later and emptied your pjrse only to growl shaking his had as a plethora of 'cute' weapons fell out. Hello kitty switch blades, rainbow blades, pink pocket knives and suspicious looking comb, key knives, pen knives you name it! There was even a ... cat keyring obviously meant to be some sort of pointy eared knuckle duster.

"Really poppet? Knives and... knuckle dusters- these are" he began scolding you but you cut him off

"I know i know daddy im sorry-" your apology was halted as your daddy spoke over you in a warning to e, he didnt like being interrupted.

"No where near good enough! These are all close range! If your close enough to use these then your already fucked! No you need pepperspray and a tazer!" He growled quickly picking up the feeble knives that had no grip to them, and wasnt ever sharp!

"T-tazer?" You stuttered tiltinnyour head cradling your injured hand to your chest.

"Yes, they are close range but will stop any attacker in their tracks! You can get away whilst your attacker is convulsing and laying in a pool of his own piss!" August growled becoming more and more aggravated as he realised you had now real way of protecting yourself when he wasnt around, big or little!

"Im getting you a tazer- today! Before i leave" he decided nodding to himself as he binned the now soiled teatowel and wash cloth.

"...can i have a pink one daddy?" You asked not being the slightest bit against having a tazer, it would make you feel alot safer then a knife.

Knives needed a proper opening and some brute force to protect you and could really really hurt someone!

A tazer was just a button and could work nomatter where ou hit the baddy and would kill them just make em gall over and pee.

"You can have a pink one princess... or a lipstick one or a tampon one?" Auguast suggested trying to thinl of the best one for you... he was sure a smaller discreet one whould be better than a law enforcement grade.

"That sounds uncomfortable daddy..." you uttered shuddering at the thought of that... being mistaken.

"Its not really a- fuck it... Right come on lets get in the living room you can go pick a tazer online" he said beginni g to pack up the first aid kitpillig everthing neatly into the box.

"O-okay... but no spankies daddy... I'm hurt" you warned cautiously waving your bandaged hand

"Yes spankies! Absolutly spankies! You take this spoon with you and you can pop it on the table as a reminder!" He ordered holding you with a level gaze blue eyes warning you to do as you were told.

"But my hand-" you said sniffling cradling it.

"Will be the least of your problems when I'm tanning your naughty butt! Now go or else" he threataned clipping the first aid box shut still watching you, staring unblinkingly.

"Or else what-" you started but your daddy was havig none of it and cut you off again.

"There is a silicone butter icing spreader in this kitchen that will be much worse than thw wooden spoon! Now get in the living room befpre i make you find it" he growled not about to let you throw a paddy about getting your ass blistered after the stunt you pulled.

Your lower lip wobbled but yu nodded giving up, plucking the wooden spoon and turning around leaing the kitchen in a walk of shame muttering a tiny 'yes daddy, sorry daddy'

Auguast watched with a stern face, before turning his attention to the bloody kitchen he will clean before coming to deal with you.

A good fifteen mineut wait will let you have time to reflect before he comes in and tans you hide.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #august walker x reader #august walker x little reader #oh for fic sake headcannon #oh for fic sake ask

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aria-greenhoodie · 3 years

Text

My opinions on every Dream smp character (/rp /c! /lh)

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE CREATORS THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THIS IS ALL SAID LIGHTHEARTEDLY!!!

Dream - die.

George - Does he even exist??? I think he just stays asleep in a shroom forest until Dream XD drags him out for “fun time.”

Sapnap - Pet Killer. >:( But is engaged to Karl and Quackity who are both cool so I guess it’s fine.

Callahan - All knowing and terrifying, but fantastic and great.

Sam - What the fuck??? Is??? Going on with this man??? He’s fucked up. I don’t think hes a bad person but he needs someone to tell him to fucking stop, because he has done bad shit, even if I dont think he’s bad, like, what in the fuck. I kinda wanna bite him.

Warden - IM SORRY IM SORRY DONT KILL ME FUCK SHIT PISS BALLS IM SOR

Sam Nook - The best Sam. I’d kill and die for him. irl. /gen. This is not a joke. I love this robot. SO MUCH. Love so muchh. <333

Alyssa - Exists? I think???

Ponk - I don’t know a lot about her but I want to know more and I know they are WONDERFUL AND DIDN’T DESERVE WHAT SAM DID TO HIM, SAM WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PUT IN FUCKING LINE, PONK WAS SO NICE TO YOU EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, WHAT THE FUUUUCK

BBH - Bit fucked up. Not that pleasant.

Tommy - Big Man. Always correct. Don’t argue with me about this, I'll bite you. And he probably will too. He reminds me of me when I was in middle school and because of that I will side with him always.

Tubbo - Awe, what a little lad! Oh, he’s a bit fucked up. O-oh… he’s a LOT fucked up… Still a little lad though! Also pretty gender. Also according to literally every single “WHICH DSMP CHARACTER ARE YOU?” quiz I take I’m him, so that’s cool!

Fundy - I hold you very gently and tenderly but also very far away at arms length just in case.

Punz - Punz

Purpled - Funky fucking alien boy!!! Good builder, really cool, deserved better, I got really sad when Quackity blew up his UFO because it looked fucking sick and if it was mine I would have cried.

Wilbur - Seems very polite, but also maybe a little unhinged…

Ghostbur -pspsppssps sweet man so polite come back to me please pspspspspspspps come here pspspspspspspss yes I would love some blue now come closer pspsppspspspspss

Revivedbur - Sir please do not fuck this up I’m rooting for you because I know you can do great things please do not make me regret this please sir I believe in you please

Schlatt - Drunk bitch. Fuckin died. L.

Skeppy - Wait what even is your lore? You got corrupted by the Egg at some point but did you do anything after that?? Do you even still EXIST????

Eret - King, Queen, Royalty at its finest, you have tried so hard and I love you for it, also you’re violently gender and kinda pretty ngl so I may be biased but stfu you fucking kill it you funky fucking Herobrine ily <333

Jack Manifold - ON THAT JACK MANIFOLD GRIND! THE JACK MANIFOLD GRIND NEVER STOPS!

Nikki - Babe ily you deserved better, I may be rooting for Revivedbur but if you wanna punch that mf in his undead face I fully support you ily ily ily

Quackity - YOU! YOU!!! FUCKING YOU!!! I’M GOING TO VIOLENTLY ADORE YOU!!! YOU ARE SO FUNKY!!! YOU’RE ONE OF THE ONLY CAPITALISTS I WILL ACCEPT!!! FUCKMAN!!! LOVE YOUR WORK ON ALL THOSE WARCRIMES!!! <3333333

Karl Jacobs - Funky Time lad! Also really pretty. And kinda gender, but only a little bit. Those cool drawings of his old skin that the fandom came up with where he's a weird colorful rubber-hose-armed marshmallow human thing are more gender than what he is now, though.

Hbomb - Furry /pos. Seems nice enough.

Technoblade - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! TECHNO NEVER DIES! LOVE ME AN ANARCHIST OLD MAN PIG WHO WILL DESTROY ANYTHING IN HIS PATH! Also Piglin /pos.

Antfrost - Furry /neg. He’s actually fine, but I don't actually have much to say about him.

Philza Minecraft - is quite old, he is married to a woman, which I find interesting. I love him but would also like to punch him, just once. Just one little punch. Nothing super hard, just a little punch. Love ya, Dadza <3

Connor - Sonic Kinnie. I know he has lore but I cannot understand it and only know 1/10 of it so I can't actually say much about him. He seems depressed all the time though, so I feel bad for him.

Captain Puffy - The best Father I have ever seen <3 Also the only semi-fucking-responsible adult??? Like Sam used to be too but then he… yeah… I love her!

Viky - Doesn't exist in cannon I think??

Lazar - Does he exist in cannon either????

Ranboo - YOU!!! You <333 YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! I love you!! You make me a little sad sometimes but also INCREDIBLY happy!! My little hypocrite <3 my little walking contradiction <3 also REALLY gender, VIOLENTLY so. And Enderman /very pos.

Foolish - I like you! I don’t know much about you, but I’m learning more! I like your builds and attitude! Nice man :)

Hannah - I know literally NOTHING about you at all but I want to because you seem so badass and cool holy shit

Slimecicle - FUCKING WEIRD ASS SLUDGE MONSTER FROM THE BEGINING OF TIME???? YES PLEASE!!! SO GENDER!!! SO COOL!!! LOVE!!! LOVE LOV ELVOEKJDENJJW!!!!!!!!!! I love this fucking man <3333333 Filled with bones and meat and not slime at all <333333333

Michael McChill - Dream Stan /neg I don’t know much about this guy, actually, pretty neutral on him.

Michael _Beloved - Nice boy! Very polite! Probably could kill me if he wanted! Good lad!

Michelle - Oh she would whoop my ass. Great and fantastic!

Yogurt - babeyy,,,,,, boi,,,,, come hereee,,,,,, pspspsppspspsspspsp,,,,,,, i love youuu,,,,,,,

Foolish Jr. - Seems energetic and excitable! Good lad!

Finley - Fantastic, wonderful girl!

Shroud - I LOVE YOU. I WILL FIGHT ANY WAR YOU ASK ME TO. I WILL KILL MY FAMILY FOR YOU. SHROUD SUPREMACY. AAAAAAAAAAAA.

Mexican Dream - Eyyyyyy look at he! Look at the he!!! I like he :)))) he’s cool.

Dream XD - Oh so you’re THAT kind of asshole. Love it. 10/10. Also biblically accurate angel inspired designs for this mf??? So gender. Violently gender. Love that shit.

Drista - YOU!!!! ARE!!! SO!!!! COOL!!!! I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR YOU!!!! LET'S BLOW SHIT UP TOGETHER!!!! CHAOS!!!!! ARSON!!!!! YES!!!!!

Mamacita - p, prett y wom an,,,

Mumza Kristin - If anyone doesn't like Mumza I’ll cut their body into fourths and burry the pieces under a Denny’s <3 She’s so poggers.

Friend - Friend! :DDD

#dsmp #dream smp #aria ramblings #im not tagging everyone that would take effort and I am tired #dream smp shitpost #dsmp shitpost #c!dsmp #dsmp opinions #is that a tag?#dsmp opinion is that a tag?#I dunno #Im tired #long post

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” & herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself. Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #manga reviwes #anime-only #tired paper #my thoughts are so scattered #& unorganized #I apologize for the mess #ch 90 #ch 91

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catboyithaqua · 3 years

Note

Ramuda and Doppo :0

OH MY BOYS LETS GO

Under a cut bc long

Ramuda Amemura

First impression

Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!

Impression now

Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man

Favorite moment

Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.

Idea for a story

CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.

Unpopular opinion

This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:

I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.

Favorite relationship

I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough

Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:

Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,

Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok

Favorite headcanon

I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:

- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--

- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn

- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn

Doppo Kanonzaka

First impression

Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is

Impression now

Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love

Favorite moment

As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute

Idea for a story

Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!

Unpopular opinion

I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨

Favorite relationship

Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!

#im sorry this took me so long thanks for the ask!!!#hypmic

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cullxtheherd · 3 years

Note

oh my god I haven't thought about BtVS in so long fdjsaio tell me some of your Angel/Angelus headcanons (insert eyes emoji here)

jhbjghljkghkfgl; oh my GOD i honestly never stopped loving AtS or BtVS!! bgut i did stop watching originally when Doyle perished cause?? sorry but he is babey and though i do understand why the actor was let go from his role, it's still super upsetting. i hate the episode Hero and also love it to pieces- just watched it yesterday and screamed ALLEN FRANCIS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for just. so long. tbh i was thinking about adopting him as a muse but tbh with you Angel and older 90s/early 00s muses don't get much attention anyways so i haven't yet skdjksds maybe after Harry from Resident Alien later tonight gets added I'll think about it again ksjdksjd. ANYWAYS THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU ASKED FOR KSJDSkfsd ON WITH IT!! just be aware there is no way i can include all the headcanons here so i'll just hlglhkglkhlgk about the ones i can think of asap

𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵

in the show (both buffy & angel) they are constantly telling us through dialogue, scene setting, etc that the reason Angel and (later) Spike hate killing and feeding suddenly is because "killing humans = bad ☹ grr, arrgh." i think it runs deeper than this. i think they are not solely repulsed because it is the morally wrong thing to do. i think they are disgusted in?? an almost obsessive way because of how badly they'd still like to do it despite knowing better and having control over themselves. certain episodes the way Angel and Spike's portrayals go: yes definitely they are giving us that and barely highlighting it. but i really. i don't remember either show ever coming out and saying it outright.

personally i think that the Buffy/Angel romance seems waaaayyy super crazy rushed in the show and i'm not really sure if they/joss even meant it like that! it just really be seeming that way af!!! logically the whole affair lasts about/just shy of three years if we are doing the maths and technically?? it really took 1.5 years before they even did the ol squelchy welch. which lmaooa jksdhkdjsfd can you imagine?? any young adults in a consenting relationship actually waiting that long?? yeah ekjnbswedsdxfks anyways. i just? idk. loved AtS and BtVS very much but his departure seemed super rushed and so did their romance bye sjhdbfs

speaking of?? while i am very much a buffy/angel ship supporter as an adult i do find it so freaking weird he?? was made by Darla in 1898 and theennnn spent 171 motha fuckin years parading around as Angelus- didn't even know about Buffy Summers until he was already 269 (nice) and when acathala SHAT his ass back out he was already 371, she was a juNIOr in higHSCHOOOLPLK ANNNDDD i have a hEAdache i gotta goooOO

no but really i. skhjfjhgf as an adult i am weirded out but?? idk it's one of my childhood ships i gotta pry it from my OWN cold dead hands i guess smh

personally i think Angel keeps trinkets from the people he's saved over the years. and i don't mean at random Investigations via his detective agency or, later, Wolfram & Hart. i mean?? the cases we see like?? the episode 'are you now or have you ever been' that takes us back to the 1950s and the Hyperion Hotel in it's heyday. angel aided a woman named Judy Kovacs- albeit rather reluctantly to try and escape and THEN a literal MOB beat and lynched his ass and thennNNNN, in present time, he fights against the same life-sucking chaos-causing Thesulac demon with his friends/colleagues. after all of this he finds Judy somehow still in her room (214) surviving just a few doors down from his (217) so many years ago just?? waiting. and while canonically the show has Angel in room 312? I disagree. i think he would have taken up residence in 214 or 217...... 214 cause i'm feeling sappy. check his bathroom cabinets i bet you it's got at least a few of her accoutrements living inside.

i think?? despite?? darla not being able to take his soul via the big squelchy that he and Angelus really did care about her- heck!! in the early?? 1900s he DID try to return to her and adapt to her violent way of life he just couldn't do it

while i am?? verryyy willing to write buffy/angel ship stuff i really do think after the events in I Will Remember You it would take a literal set of miracles to get him to even attempt being with Buffy again. i think that while he will always love her no matter what that he has learned that?? things that are or seem too?? good or pure for a creature like him genuinely are. though he is/was the Powers That Be-s-es-es?? ES favorite ensouled boy-toy i really, genuinely do think that a happy ending is just NOT in the cards for our boyo

if buffy wasn't evidence enough of that fact?? cordy. Skip really came and took her just like that. then the whatevers that WHOEVER shat her back out to really just give birth to jasmine and connor and i rrepwsrenbjhdfbskdjnsf worst. season. EVER. i refuse i fucking REFUSE TO EGHV ADBAKJSDFALKFNKSADJF???!?!?!?! i hate it so much. i hate it. so. m u c h. connor and cordy should have never EVER been a thing and i will erase it from history if i have to give birth to myself to do it

𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝𝕦𝕤

hoo babey. while angel is?? reserved and doesn't?? really mention any kind of explorative or wild side with any regularity in the show this wild child leather-pants-wearing abomination gives NO shits. he is very, VERY pansexual and you can fight my spirit on top of my grave about it.

regarding the last thing i said: there was definitely a polyamorous relationship happening between Angelus, Darla, Spike and Drusilla in my book. there are certain... jealous scenarios- heck!! just LOOK at episodes with Spike where he's being pouty about not getting the proper attention he deserves. if you think this is just about Dru i am begging you to reconsider

also?!?!?!?! PENN?! Penn was so obsessively and grossly in love with Angelus his sire I can not EVEN BEGIN TO FIUBNFDAKJSDFN

i think?? there are times in Angel's day-to-day where he not only misses but craves the presence of Angelus and visa versa. Angelus obviously seems a bit more openly repulsed by his softer side cause like?? each half is SO strongly suited to one extreme and?? as much as Angel and Angelus would both loathe my next statement: two halves do make a whole.

i think that while?? Angel may be cursed with a soul, that's not all. Angelus doesn't have regular control any longer, for sure, but i really do think it is oftentimes a daily battle to tune him out. why?? the orb of thesulah is only used to summon and store a human soul until it is re/tethered to a body. the ritual that the "Gypsies" and Willow performed didn't?? do anything with the actual demon. it didn't send it back to whatever Hell dimension it came from it just?? gave angel a soul- it gave what was left of Liam (O'Connor if you follow fan-lore) control over himself and the demon inhabiting his body. though the show never depicts or portrays this i am willing to bet real money that somewhere, deep down Angelus is on the inside rattling his mirror against the bars screaming: IM HENRY THE EIGTH I AM I AM!!! over and over an over and ov-

angel, however, when not in control seems to go into some semi-mostly dormant state as evidenced by the fact that he was entirely gone during their time in Acathala and relied on solely the demon half to get him through, but?? i'm 56% sure he is there sniveling in the ether when Angelus is driving he's just?? clearly not as strong mentally.

while?? Angel is a very respectable creature who cares about and loves his friends/found family i really do think that Angelus loves NO ONE. i think he cares about a few entities but i do not think he is capable of love proper as we think of it- both shows continuously remind us that number one in Angelus's world is, in fact, Angelus which means...

i doubt he really cares about pleasing his partner/s where that is likely Angel's main objective and lskjdnfjd i really have to go before this gets super raunchy

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sammansonn · 4 years

Text

My thoughts on the 100 7x05

right off the bat Octavia reminds us that she is a Bad Bitch (as if we could’ve forgotten)

when the crazy fanatic said that they'd keep dying until russell was freed i was so concerned because my immediate response was "cool let them die and problem solved” which is maybe Not the best route to go (even if murphy felt the same way)

i love emori and murphy so much, like i’ve always liked them and all but i feel like i only Really started liking emori last season and this season i just Love Her

watching octavia getting questioned/tortured fucking Hurted

like when “redemption” echoed???? i Cried

i just love octavia and am so glad she got those 10 years of being a happy family, and i genuinely got emotional watching her and bellamy at the end

this levitt dude really be the #1 Octavia Stan and im HERE FOR IT

i also loved him using “go float yourself” a real Icon

i just really loved him in general and i hope he doesn’t get killed i was really worried levitt was gonna get caught for helping them and i just want him to make it out alive and to the good side (the good side being our main characters even though, are they’re really any good guys???)

he also has strong gabriel energy in the fact that they both love octavia and i love them both and they’re both pretty nerdy

obviously i don’t Really want octavia to get in a relationship because girl needs to Heal and just be with her fam of Bell, Clarke, Hope, Madi, and Dioyza (also i hope Dioyza’s alive, we haven’t seen her at All and im kinda Concerned) But if they were gonna put Octavia in a relationship both Gabriel and levitt are just Waiting there, ready to love octavia Forever

i just really liked Levitt (also he looks like raphael from shadowhunters)

gabriel just sighing as hope and echo keeping killing people is a Mood

i’m So Intrigued as to why clarke is so special to these people like i know shes Amazing and a Goddess but a key??? what does that Mean??

also the actor who plays Andor also played damien dahrk of arrow he’s just Real Good at playing villains he just looks so punchable and i really commend that actor on that

okay indra was kinda pissing me off recently but i’m So Glad she figured out sheidheda is back becuase it was really Concerning me

the whole time thing of this season really Fucks with my head (not in a bad way tho), its just so strange to think that in the span of a week hope went back to sanctum, stabbed octavia, lived on skyring with gabriel and echo for 5 years, and came and got octavia Again, all in 7 Days in bardo time, very Strange

also from what we saw im gathering that when octavia returned to bardo she got all her memories back from skyring and stuff too, right? because she seemed to know levitt? so im hoping that when she and bellamy reunite again she’ll have all those memories because she really grew so much during that time and learned so much about herself and bellamy and i just want her to have those 10 years (also i obviously want her to be able to remember all the time with hope and stuff too because i love those two and really want to see them together more especially now that Hope’s an adult they’re just so cute)

i was genuinely just So Happy to see bellamy i Really missed him and wish he had been in the episode longer and hope he’s in more of the episode next week because God Damn i love him

okay so bellamy is definitely Not Dead becuase that would be So Dumb my guess is that he jumped into the bridge before the explosion but the explosion messed something up so he didn’t end up in sanctum, instead he’s on a different planet (maybe even that same icy planet clarke is now on👀👀👀👀 idk i can Hope)

also echo is a Mess like i get you were upset girl but you really gotta be Logical

its also interesting when looking at last episode she chose logic over emotion by killing the guys and betraying orlando because it was logical even though it hurt someone she had grown to care for but Now she but her anger and sadness of losing bellamy over the logical action of keeping the hostage

and i think some could use this to say “echo is just a shitty person so likes killing” but i don't think thats true at all

she’s been raised as a soldier since she was So Young, so naturally she is a very logical person, in fact most of what we’ve seen from her is logic, even the things we’ve seen her do that were “evil” or violent were very logical when looking at it from her view

but as we know echo is Not Good at being her own person, she literally almost killed herself at the end of season 4 because she felt that was what she needed to do as penance for her failing the ice nation and then in space she latched onto space kru, to have a sense of loyalty again, and i think she Specifically latched onto Bellamy because 1) they did know each other before but mostly 2) he was the one who stopped her from killing herself, so i think in that moment of losing herself entirely, she found bellamy as a person to store her faith and loyalty into

and this all leads to that last scene with echo killing that dude, echo is obviously upset that bellamy is dead because she does love him (not in the way she thinks she does but ya know) but i think she’s more upset because of that same sense of failing bellamy

before when she almost killed herself she didn’t have anyone to blame for what happened but herself, she obviously couldn’t be mad at ice nation or even at skykru really, so she could only blame herself, but in the situation of losing bellamy, there is a clear subject of blame in echo’s eyes, so when she once again feels lost and hopeless, she chooses emotion over logic and takes it out on that guy that she uses as a point of blame

anyway y’all can still hate echo i’m not saying you can’t, but i just don’t think she’s a “bad” person (i mean compared with everyone else on the show, most of whom have committed war crimes so are technically bad people compared to a real person in our world)

so in conclusion: i love the blakes and the griffins and levitt and want to give them all hugs, also the sanctum plot is alright i guess, im way more into bardo rn (mostly because thats where the blakes are) but honeslt yay attention is also Wherever Clarke is (also where was madi??? we also didn’t see her last episode?? does she know where her mom is? i’m just generally concerned for her and miss her)

hopes for next week: more Clarke!!! more Bellamy!!! also octavia pls! and also i’d like to know who knocked gaia out and what they did to the stones because i just remembered that was a thing

#wow this was a Real Mess #ya girl just had a lot of Thoughts this week i guess #the 100 #the 100 spoilers #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #john murphy #emori #indra #echo kom azgeda #hope diyoza #tw suicide

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joy1579 · 4 years

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Hey. If its not too much can I request RFA finding out MC was abused as a kid after they have a panic attack/episode about something RFA did/said thats usually considered innocent, but has bad connotations to MC? Only if you're willing. I saw some of the other things you wrote and thought you might be ok with writing things like this. Im really really sorry if I'm wrong. Have a nice day.

okay so a couple of disclaimers here

1 i have never experienced abuse so please note that this may not be accurate to real abuse recovery

2 while i have had panic attacks they were few and far between and not connected to consistent anxiety or reliably predictable triggers

3 if you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse or suspects abuse reach out get help. you and they deserve better

anyway i hope this is okay since its a bit of a departure from my real life experiences

The RFA when MC who was abused has a panic attack

Jumin

- When you first break down he doesn’t know how to help

- He gets down on your level if you’re in a chair he’s knelt in front of you if you’re on the floor he’s right there with you.

- He talks you through breathing exercises he learned to help with business stress

- He stays with you no matter how long it takes NO ONE can separate you two

- It isn’t until you explain that he truly understands what happened

- He asks you to tell him EVERYTHING that makes you even the littlest bit uncomfortable and he avoids it like the plague

- He also does a lot of research on how to help someone through a panic attack so he’s prepared if it ever happens again

- He learns grounding techniques and how to help you visualize a safe and happy place

- He encourages therapy and begins donating to charity geared towards preventing child abuse regularly

- He’ll never understand how family could do that, they are supposed to love, cherish, and encourage each other

- He reminds you that you are a han now and no one will ever hurt you again. He vows to show you what family is meant to be

Yoosung

- You’re in his arms the second your he sees you break down

- He rocks you gently and hushes you gently

- Its repetitive and grounding and honestly helps you calm down a lot

- As soon as your calm he helps you get ready for bed, he’s never had a true panic attack but he knows how exhausting it can be to cry like that

- Later he asks what happened and listens intently

- The whole time you explain he’s deathly silent and your done he pulls you into a gentle hug with shaking hands

- You’ve never seen him angrier. It’s a cold anger that stole the light from his eyes

- He’s careful not to let you see how truly furious he is though he might text zen to vent about how shitty people can be but he won’t mention you or parents because he wants to respect your privacy

- He starts being extra careful about raging at video games so he doesn’t remind you of your family

- From that moment on he makes sure that you are close with his family he wants you to experience a warm and happy family

- He also sets about making sure you experience everything you may have missed as a child

- He wants to replace every bad memory with 10 good ones

Saeyoung

- He recognizes the behavior in an instant and is gently guiding you to the couch

- His voice is gentle and slow as he reminds you that you are safe, you’re here with him. You’re an adult and far from anyone that would try to hurt you now.

- He’s chanting these phrases like a mantra and your nodding along repeating after him to help ground yourself

- He’s careful not to hold you to tightly or move to quickly and make things worse. He knows all the major things that can trigger those feelings of helplessness and makes sure to memorize the little things that are specific to you

- He watches your face to know when things hit too close to home for you and always has a way to get you out of those situations discreetly

- When you explain what your home life was he holds you gently and reminds you that none of it was your fault.

- He tells you that just because some people should never have had kids doesn’t mean those kids shouldn’t have been born it means those kids deserved better.

- Honestly you opening up to him helps him open up to you about his experiences

- It actually ends up being very therapeutic to both of you

Zen

- When he sees you shaking and sobbing his hands are on your shoulders before he can really think about what he’s doing

- His grip is firm and steady as he locks eye’s with you his gaze is piercing and he refuses to let you look away

- “breath with me jagiya” and you slowly start to synch your breathing to his deliberately slow and deep breaths

- It isn’t until you’ve completely calmed down that he pulls you into his lap and lets his breath go ragged with worry

- He wants to beat up your family but he knows you need him to be calm right now and he’ll do anything for you

- He was never physically abused by his family but he knows the emotional side of abuse all too well.

- He makes sure you know your worth reminding you of everything he loves about you.

- he hears about “open when” letters from a coworker and makes you a bunch for when your anxious, or sad, or insecure. You keep them on you all the time

- he’s careful to never be violent around you because he doesn’t want to remind you of your family

- He tells you that blood family isn’t nearly as important as the family you choose. He promises that both of you will make your own family

Jaehee

- Doesn’t know what to do when you first breakdown

- Is very worried and awkward because she doesn’t know what caused the breakdown and doesn’t want to make it worse

- Once you calm down enough to talk you tell her what happened and her face goes pale

- She asks if she can hold you because she’s worried you may be touch sensitive right then you nod and she pulls you into a gentle hug

- She tells you that people often take their own insecurities, stress, and anger out on people who can’t defend themselves. When they do that they are being cowardly and petty

- She mentions that none of it was your fault you were young and should have been protected and nurtured not hurt and cut down

- She suggests therapy and does research to make sure you get good treatment

- She even puts together a panic attack kit

- It has lavender spray and a pocket watch to help you slow your breathing and focus on something external

- The kit also has a small notebook to keep track of triggers, panic attacks and thoughts. As well as your medicine if you take any

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gayregis · 4 years

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Oh yeah that reminds me of another question I've been meaning to ask (sorry to jump on you like this haha) but which vampire canon change in B&W annoys you the most? For me it's the whole 'even touching silver will harm a vampire' (when it's explained that Syanna figured out Dettlaff was a vampire because he wouldn't directly touch a silver candlestick). I just choose to ignore that detail bc I don't think it makes much sense haha

omg this is such a good ask im so excited to answer

first of all, i really agree with you, even when i hadn’t read the books fully i had read that one passage in lady of the lake where regis gestures with a silver fork at the banquet, and blood and wine tries to make it so like regis and dettlaff are the same “kind” of vampire, so this obviously doesn’t make any sense, and since it’s just such a small detail i tried to ignore it, like, maybe dettlaff just wanted to keep the silver candlestick fingerprint-free, ever consider that, syanna? you’re gonna pawn something, you don’t want like a billion fingerprints mucking it all up... and then syanna thought this made him a vampire, when in reality he was a vampire but the candlestick had fuckall to do with it

but yeah i think i’m gonna do like a top 5 style: TOP 5 THINGS CDPR GOT WRONG ABOUT THE VAMPIRES. im not gonna do a countdown because im a very direct person and think its best to get the worst out of the way.

1. their society and relationship with humans.

the thing that upsets me the most that cdpr changed is how vampires exist on the continent. stuff like tesham mutna and the unseen elder breaks canon lore so hard it makes me physically upset.

this is a bad thing because not only is the trope of “vampires control everything from the shadows as a secret society so they can feed on human blood” incredibly boring and overdone (it’s a trope, so it’s something that the witcher should stand to invert since that’s pretty much the purpose of the witcher), but it also has origins in antisemitism (the myth of the illuminati or “reptilians/secret societies controlling the world”, blood libel), so it’s super gross! i don’t want the vampires to be that trope, that’s completely unfair.

they already were something other than that trope, they already HAD their own society (or lack thereof) as part of the canon lore. maybe it is personal preference, but i think that their “anti-society” is super interesting. how does something like that function with no rules or figures of authority or customs? it’s incredibly different to the ways humans function in this universe, who are mostly bound around their nation, city/town/village, and home unit, and abide by strict custom and systems of authority. it’s really something to be explored from a lore perspective, there wasn’t a whole lot explained in canon (for good reason: see #2) so it has perfect potential to be elaborated upon in the adaptational spinoff that is the witcher games.

it makes them super boring and trope-y to have them all kowtow to One Figure Of Authority in the area. plus CDPR states that the reason toussaint is so perfect is that this secret society controls toussaint as an area to perfect blood, when toussaint literally existed as a fairy-tale duchy to be an OBSTACLE to geralt and his hansa in the saga. it was the “leave-your-quest” test. think of the island of the lotus eaters from the odyssey. it’s a perfect place, there’s no reason as to why it is perfect, it just is, and it keeps the company hostage there for months so they will get distracted and eventually forget what they came there for.

in canon as well, vampires do not seem to care much about humans. regis certainly does, but he is regis :). there was little conversation about how vampires view humans, rather about how humans view vampires and project their innermost fears and desires to them. further breaking some vampire tropes. in blood & wine. instead of that trope-flipping, we get... “vampires tortured humans out of curiosity and selfishness.” what? why would they do this? there is not much to gain, and it would take a lot of cooperation and effort to get to this point, which leads me to ask, HOW could they do this? as regis says in bof, there were only about 1,200 vampires when they arrived on the continent, so they were completely and utterly outnumbered as they were likely scattered around. they wouldn’t be able to build a castle and re-engineer toussaint to fit their needs. i understand that he is massively biased, but i feel like regis calls these first vampires “hapless survivors” for a reason, and also since regis is regis, i do not feel like he would feel this way about them if they committed massive crimes against humanity.

tl;dr for this point: not only is it fucked up for no reason but to be gross/shocking to the audience, but it also removes their purpose as a metaphor, which is #2.

2. the removal of their purpose as a metaphor in the story.

originally, the vampires are not meant to be the focus of the witcher series or even a smaller part of the series at all. they are simply a metaphor for aspects of human society so that regis can have a backstory. the vampires are nothing more than a fictional means of exploring the effects of alcoholism, and a thought experiment as to what an authority-less, family-less, custom-less society would be like. the question “what do youth do when they have no support and no guidance?” already is one of the witcher’s major questions as a saga, the vampires and regis’s backstory serves to be another one of the stories within it that fits this theme. except we add more conditions to the thought experiment this time, like “what if these youth never aged and were powerful enough to survive on their own?” there would be no reason for them to ever change or grow out of their behavior. it’s quite interesting, because it’s meant to reflect upon human nature, the vampires are metaphorically humans. there is no reason for regis to even be a vampire, except that he needs to be able to survive death and learn from his mistakes. a human would have died had he hit rock bottom like regis did, but since regis wasn’t human and could rise from the grave, he had the chance at a new life. humans don’t get second chances. this is the point of the entire story being about vampires.

now, i understand that the purpose of the witcher games is to entertain, unlike the point of the witcher book series, which are like any other books and serve an author’s message. so, it stands to reason that the vampires do not have to prove a strong point here, but they should retain their essential traits and serve as the metaphor which was already really interesting and deserves more explanation and thought. i think using a fictional lens to take a look at real-world issues can be helpful sometimes, when done respectfully and when still using creativity. even if it’s just to entertain, that doesn’t mean it should be brainless and throw all of the commentary out of the window.

the vampires as a subject for the game to focus on should really be a vessel for thought and critique. it should mean SOMETHING for them to be there, because they were originally a message and a metaphor.

but in blood & wine, they are incredibly shallow, only there to exist for the attention-getter of gore.

does it MEAN anything that dettlaff regenerated regis from his own flesh and blood? or does that just happen because we needed a convienient way to bring regis back and tie him to the antagonist? does it MEAN anything that dettlaff cuts off his own hand? or is that just because it’s cool and kinda gross. does it MEAN anything that the vampires attack beauclair? or is that just because there needed to be some violence and conflict.

there is no deeper meaning! it’s all just flashiness to shock the audience! it’s incredibly shallow and because it is shallow, it becomes boring and forgettable.

blood & wine focuses on details about the vampires that are gross, gorey or bloody, uncomfortable because of how nasty they are. and these elements have NO PURPOSE to the story other than to gross you out, like regis being regenerated, dettlaff skewering regis like a kebab, dettlaff cutting off his hand and that hand being handled by the bruxa, geralt, and regis, regis going crazy in a cage, syanna also getting skewered, etc. ... it’s this focus on the physical action that is happening on screen with little thought as to any deeper meaning that makes me tired and nauseous. why treat the vampires as savage animals?

as a mention in this topic, i am going to comment on how they deliberately changed the lore to “make childrens’ blood taste better than adults’ blood,” because that is mega-gross. why change it to focus on child endangerment? that’s nasty! why make orianna feed on children when it was LITERALLY canon that the “best” blood was that of strong adults? if you want to make orianna morally grey, she could have owned any other kind of place to get blood from. see #2 for more discussion of this.

3. their focus on the conjunction of the spheres.

the vampires never had this obsession with “returning home.” i... have no idea where this comes from. remember how i just said that i appreciate a metaphor for real-life when it is done respectfully? CDPR gave us this awkward metaphor for the vampires “wanting to go home” because they have to “assimilate” in this new world, apparently every vampire ever misses their homeland. ... it’s the story of immigrants who didn’t have a choice to be born in The New Land, but they were anyways, and now they want to go home. and it’s the story of minority groups, who are overshadowed by the society they live in, but cannot be themselves in, because it would mean violence.

this is an incredibly awkward metaphor just because it’s not done well, but also CDPR literally just focused on how extremely violent the vampires are, and how they also control everything so they can use the humans they were thrown in with to their own fancies. this is... i didn’t know that the metaphors for fantasy racism in the witcher could get any worse than sapkowski’s were.

also, there’s some weird lore-breaking moments when regis says he misses the vampire homeworld or whatever, and i just am left staring at my laptop like. you’re only like, 4 centuries old, regis. the conjunction of the spheres occured more than 3 times your age in the past. plus the fact that regis in baptism of fire calls himself a “descendant,” it’s obvious that someone at cdpr just didn’t do their research when writing those lines.

4. their power level and exactly how powerful they are.

let’s take a moment to think about a grain of truth. the second story in the witcher books, it was written before sapkowski had a lot of the vampire lore down-pat. geralt says things like “it’s silver, this blade is silver” and “an ordinary vampire couldn’t come out in the sun,” which are incongruent with what we learn in baptism of fire about vampires. but nevertheless, there’s a lot which is still accurate to the vampires, such as that VEREENA ABSOLUTELY KICKS GERALT’S ASS. geralt very nearly DIED in that fight, he was ABOUT to die, but nivellen saved him at the last split-second. geralt finds out that vereena is a bruxa, and he is alarmed, he shouts and then falls on his ass. he scrambles, he’s unprepared to deal with a foe THIS powerful. he manages to land his sword on her during the fight, but it barely harms her. she dodges incredibly, and swipes of his sword that should have hit do not. she screams terribly, and geralt is in incredible, writhing pain. he uses his signs to help him, this is no normal fight with a normal foe. flash forward to in baptism of fire, when geralt meets another vampire, one that is considerably more powerful and unique than vereena was. dandelion asks geralt, if ... potentially... maybe... and geralt responds that he sincerely doubts that he could beat regis in a fight, and he really does not want to have to try.

geralt was BESTED by vampires in the books. he was as close as a witcher can get to being INTIMIDATED by their power. but what happens in blood & wine? there’s like 8 bruxae and alpors ganging up on you and you can easily vanquish all of them with your silver sword and by knocking back maybe a glass of black blood and white raffard’s decoction. it’s fine, it’s easy to kill vampires. geralt doesn’t hesitate to fight dettlaff. he doesn’t worry, he doesn’t tell anyone that he sincerely doubts that he could beat him in a fight, that he doesn’t want to have to try. instead, it’s regis talking geralt out of the fight, trying to advocate for peace.

CDPR massively nerfed the vampires just to make them easier targets for the player. i think this is unfair to how the vampires were powerful threats to be reckoned with in the books, foes that even geralt, a witcher, did not want to face. not even out of geralt’s pacifism and apprehension to slay innocent and/or sentient beings, but out of not wanting to fucking hit that die button

i also understand that regis was supposedly less powerful now because he was just tired from being regenerated, but vampires like bruxae should have been able to turn into giant bats. there’s nothing stopping them besides cdpr not wanting to code it in, just like how they didn’t want to code in bruxae or alpors wearing clothes (because vampires do wear clothes in canon).

5. their classification: adding new vampire species, distinguishing between “higher vampires” and “TRUE higher vampires”

just plain annoying to me. there’s only seven types of vampires, as regis says in baptism of fire:

“In the case of higher vampires, never, I agree,” Emiel Regis said softly. “From what I know alpors, katakans, moolas, bruxas, and nosferats don’t mutilate their victims. On the other hand, fleders and ekimmas are pretty brutal with their victim’s remains.”

“Bravo,” Geralt said, looking at him in genuine admiration. “You didn’t leave out a single class of vampire, Nor did you mention any of the imaginary ones, which only exist in fairy-tales.”

so there are seven classes... five of which are higher vampires which can probably be classified by having sentient thought and not harming their victims, two of which are lesser vampires, which are quite violent with their victims and more animalistic for this reason.

also i am confused as to why CDPR made fleders the least likely to sustain flight, when their name i’m pretty certain is taken from fledermaus, the german word for bat, which just means flying mouse (feel free to correct me if i’m wrong, idk german), so “fleder” should just mean “flutter,” or “to fly.”

SO. it’s total bullshit to be like “there’s some higher vampires and then TRUE/REAL higher vampires, which cannot be killed...” and it confuses everyone as to who is ACTUALLY a higher vampire and who is not, when the system we had before wasn’t broken at all!

BONUS. general changes to vampire powers

it annoys me how they turn into puffs of mist/smoke instead of vanishing, simply vanishing. no deeper reason why, it just bothers me because you’re not supposed to be able to see them at all, that’s the point of turning invisible/incorporeal.

there was no mention or demonstration of how regis can hypnotize people, even though that was probably his most frequently used vampire power in the books asides from turning invisible/incorporeal. it showed that even though he was very powerful, he opted to use his passive powers and nonviolent routes of dealing with people.

i think it also makes the vampires way overpowered to be able to regenerate each other with each other’s blood ... and it takes away from the finality of stygga... also them just flying and turning into bats whenever they want, as if regis didn’t say that he can only turn into a bat during a full moon. they made them overpowered and still made it super easy for geralt to kill them. alright

#ask #vamp squad #regis #dettlaff #dol--blathanna #long post /

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lunchador · 4 years

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Don't mind me but I'm rambling. I'm gonna yell about this here cuz it is my fandom blog and that's what it's for.

Man, The Boys is the perfect example of seeing a comic, seeing the potential, and gutting it for something better. I used to be a fan of Garth Ennis, I used to say he was the kind of writer that could balance edgy in a fun way that wasn't too much, but after revisiting his work I'm like....very unimpressed. And I feel as he keeps releasing series they keep getting worse 😬 I can't say this on FB because some of my male friends hold it in high regards(lots of them read it as angry edgy teens) but Preacher? Kinda a super shit comic. I genuinely think the show was attempting something better by polishing up the core concept (also the casting? Chefs kiss). I liked The Boys. I own The Boys. But the show is a fantastic example of how a comic adaptation does not need to be faithful. I think they made the characters a lot more engaging, they kept the graphic violence but I'm not rolling my eyes at it, and made the overall plot more of an arc versus the previous baddie hero of the week style that made it feel disjointed. And it's nice not to be able to expect what is going to happen next, not like how some shows throw it in a new direction solely to fuck with you versus genuinely interesting. They still sprinkle tons of comic stuff nicely in the show (my friend and I screamed at love sausage). I think the timing of the show is excellent in both that there is a corporate superhero burnout with so many movies and shows being churned out (often playing it too safe where money > interesting) and also reflecting irl events in an eerie but clever way. The whole comic and show is assholes, and I'm thrilled to love to hate them. I couldn't even do much of a reread because it's just not that good to me anymore. Absolutely crazy that Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg read those two comics by Ennis and were like yeah, let's do this.

I feel the same way about Mark Millar though. I cannot stand his comics, I feel like he's pretty good with coming up with a concept but someone always executes it better on his behalf. Kingsman? Kick ass? Wanted? All superior to the comics. I think red son and jupiter's legacy are ones I did like, but I am very interested to see how netflix (?) Does jupiter's legacy in the wake of the boys. Not quite the same, but an edgy superhero series I highly expect people to make a comparison. It's about children of superheros that are struggling to live in their shadows. Drugs, sex, violence, drama.

On the other hand, I am screaming about the Invincible adaptation. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. Invincible is in my top favorite comics, it got me INTO comics, and I always thought it was vastly superior to Kirkmans famous work Walking Dead. This I do hope sticks close to the comics (though maybe slightly better writing for women characters haha). I already know exactly what they're doing for the first arc and I really really hope we can get further than that because the series gets so fucking WILD. Insane all of the merch and now a show we are getting after the series ends. It's also super long for a western comic series at like 26 trades I think. I hope the show is a success for multiple reasons.

With the old guards success, I hope amazon finally does something with the rights they bought to Lazarus a few years ago. Greg Rucka is truly one of the best comic writers out there and that series is perfect for tv. Which reminds me I need to watch stumptown cuz I just bought the comic to reread and it's so good!!!!

And y the last man finally has its feet on the ground after being in development hell for like 10 years. Brian k vaughn writes the most human characters out there. And also paper girls is gonna be a series!!!! Fucking hell yeah!!! Hopefully it catches people attention as stranger things did. It's gonna be fun. And I hope saga never gets adapted. I truly think nothing will be able to capture it. Leave it as is.

And I'm still sad Chew ended up falling into development hell. Originally showtime wanted to use to to replace Dexter as that ended as their new bloody crime show, then it fell to an animated series which is better imo to pair with how weird it is and showcase the art style but I think the last I heard of it it was pretty much not happening. Especially since iZombie got surprising amount of traction and I guess they expected it to be too similar.

I'm also still bitter about Deadly Class's cancellation. I had a lot of potential. Great cast, good cinematography. It's such a fun tragic comic.

Locke&key was alright, it's such a good horror comic but I wouldn't be able to tell you what would have made the show better. Something didn't quite click for me.

I'm kinda really burnt out on marvel/dc. I don't think either is impressing me lately besides scattered things. I don't think I'm excited for any of the disney+ shows besides falcon+winter soldier and even then expectations are tentatively low. Maybe wandavision? I didn't give a shit about them in the movies but it's heavily based on a run of comics I did enjoy so I'm wary. I know only care about Hawkeye for Kate and she-hulk for the actress. Though I've been having a surprising amount of fun watching Doom Patrol and I enjoyed swamp thing. It's weird. It embraces that weird. There's something I feel like Umbrella Academy is missing it could learn from doom Patrol. Like ua still feels like it played it a bit safe. Idk. Haven't finished it because I'm not as motivated to.

And Faith?? Is gonna get a movie??? A plus size hero??? AHHHH. I have my first issue signed by the author I met at comic con a few years ago.

And watchmen of course.

And outcast, and happy, and powers! And I kill giants was turned into such a good movie!!! So many image comics!!

I just read nailbiter is gonna be a series so that's gonna be bloody and violent and full of serial killers lmao. The ending of that comic got a little ??? For me but I own the whole series so i guess that says something.

What a time to be a comics fan!!! We are so fucking spoiled lmao and there's still sooo many untapped series. I think Criminal would make a fantastic live action drama show. Who does like Intricate crimes and heists and overlapping stories And wic+div would make a stellar show especially if they really had fun with the music. And so many comics I like would make amazing animated series like pretty deadly, or chew, rocket girl. Haunt is another Kirkmans series that has potential to be a fun gritty superhero violent adaptation. Except the ectoplasma attacks haunt has looks like violent jizz sometimes. Idk. Like, URGHHHHHHH. Gimme gimme gimme more comic stuff.

And there's so many good things I'm not even aware it was a comic initially.

And there's so many things I hear good things I have yet to touch like black lightning, runaways ( I love the comics!!, Cloak and dagger (also great comics )

Old comic shit is good too. I've been rewatching the Spawn series. Adult animated superhero stuff is seriously underrated. The tank girl movie is FUN. ROCKETEEEEER!!!!! Disney was supposed to do a remake with a black girl. What happened to that?

I dislike all the cw shows though lmao too cheesy. Also why I can't get into agents of shield though I tried for Robbie.

So many THINGS

#hey i am a huge image fangirl if i havent screamed about that enough yet #ive been feeling emotional over comics #ever since invincible dropped the teaser #like legit tears smh #tumblr chabged how you do readmores i guess #i tried tk hide this so sorry if youre scrolling oast #i just #fuckjng love comics you guys

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skyfallensoldier · 3 years

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DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it.

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with.

Have a nice day!

#Everybody Listen Up! {PSA}#Out Of The Field {OOC}#Long Post //

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